#and it makes him feel lonely and isolated and he doesnt want to think about it .. i get it. i think we all can.

[piraticaltwit]

d.i chandler + Judy's pregnant ! / 3.02 ↳ i don't know how i'm going to cope with a baby again at my age. and a girl too. what do i know about girls? the only girl i know is him.

#di chandler #whitechapel itv #rupert penry jones #phil davis #sam stockman #hannah walters #steve pemberton #ds ray miles #ed buchan #dc emmerson kent #dc megan riley #*my stuff #*my edit #i get the emotion behind this scene on joe's part (and it is portrayed very well). i get that he probably is suddenly being confronted #with everything he believes is unattainable to him (as evidence in the convo with miles at the end of the prev. episode) #and it makes him feel lonely and isolated and he doesnt want to think about it .. i get it. i think we all can. #BUT (yes. big but.) the way he very obviously removes himself from this moment and puts himself away in his office #to the point where miles notices he needs to go talk to him is very #'i spend a lot of time on tumblr and need to go touch grass' behavior. #its self deprecating. its woe is me. its ' i need to put my big boy trousers on and not take away from other peoples' moments' of him. #people who do this are gross. i've done it and in that moment i was gross. #sometimes things are bigger than our feelings and we need to make room for other people but #what do i know. its just a tv show 🤷‍♂️ #whitechapel 3.02

[knyontop]

I already requested something similar to somebody else but whatever- Could i have some creeps (maybe include Ben, Sally, Toby and Ej) with a new preteen proxy?? And the kid is obviously always tired/sleepy and somewhat depressed. Reader is also just really shy and nervous around people (ESPECIALLY PEOPLE OLDER THAN HER BECAUSE SHE OVERTHINKS AND DOESNT WANT TO MAKE A BAD IMPRESSION). And because of all this theyre really timid dont have any friends and just observes instead? (Whenever theyre alone they talk to themselves but nobody hopefully knows that <3) Theyre really intrested in others but theyre just scared and a loser. (also likes to keep things to themselves so hardly ever opens up) They only talk when being asked a question but when reader didnt understand them clearly they dont ask the other to repeat themselves but just stand like stupid literally the definition of awkward. Very isolant, overfriendly, nervous, silent and obedient. Will listen to you because they want to do a good impression. Oh youre hungry and want food? The kid will bring some snacks if you ask. (Theyre just a lonely scared kid who is trying to do their job correctly and fit in) sorry for yapping :c

₊˚ ‿︵‿୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿ ˚₊

AWH DW ITS OKAY YOU CAN SAY WHATEVER YOU WANT AND MAKE IT PARAGRAPHS!!

Creepypasta x Child!reader

Ft: Ben drowned, Jeff the killer, sally willaims, eyeless jack, ticci toby, and our amazing, beautiful, handsome, reader.

Ben:

・as soon as he meets you he knows your an easy target for shit.

・he likes to fuck with your mind a lot.

・he sometimes feels bad about it because of how vulnerable you are, he has sadistic instincts and protective instincts about you.

・The more Ben hangs around you he starts to town down his mind games.

・he is practically your shadow.

・Ben also likes to teach you how to play games!

・Hes also starting to feel bad when he says thing like “What makes you think I care about you? Your so silly.” Because he sees how upset you get he then apologizes with a “Kid I didn’t mean it you dummy.” (Dw he means dummmy lovingly)

・he likes to think of you as his side kick.

・”Y/N, dont worry ‘bout jeff he dont mean it.”

EJ:

・when he first saw you, he knew you would be a tough case.

・sometimes he likes to spook you just a little bit.

・hes very curious about you even though your like an open book, he wants to know more about you.

・he feels bad for you because your a child, but he wont ever admit it.

・Jack sometimes lets you help him with small tasks.

・he has fatherly instincts towards you.. but also has thoughts about eating you because your like a helpless little lamb and hes the wolf. He likes his victims vulnerable.

・He does not understand his feelings about you see he pushes them to the back of his mind.

・”You want to help me? But your a child..”

・he looks down of you because hes older then you. It’s immature but he can’t control it.

toby:

・he sees himself in you and he doesn’t like thinking about the past so he tries to stay away from you.

・but it also makes him protective over you like everyone else.

・so he doesn’t hang around you, but, he protects you like his life.

・when he actually has moments where he hangs around you he starts to like you.

・like your the only person besides sally who treats him like a human.

・but that doesn’t mean he wont bully you a bit!

・Its more like teasing but like sometimes he takes it to far sometimes.

・his dark humor scares you.

・very clingy when he gets to know you.

・he asks to have sleepovers with you! (He watches you sleep)

・he takes up every opportunity to go on a mission with you.

・hes like obsessed with you at this point. (Platonically)

・he sees you as “his” Defenseless little sibling!

・”H-Hey there Y-Y-Y/N! Want to- to- go on a mission with m-me?” (He will force you if you say no)

Sally:

・Sally loves you so much!

・theres someone here age, and another girl!

・theres barely any girls!! ☹️

・loves hanging out with you and having tea partys and just everything!

・shes a sweetie<33

・she understands your anxiety around people who are older.

・she has that to.

・Sally even lets you babysit Mr. Charlie! (She will be mad at you for a bit if you hurt/lose him)

・just call her and shes there!!

・”Hey N/N!! Want to babysit Mr. Charlie?”

₊˚ ‿︵‿୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿ ˚₊

NERVOUS ABOUT THIS AT FIRST BUT I LOVE IT!!

#ben drowned #platonic #platonic creepypasta #creepypasta x reader #creepypasta x you #ticci toby #toby x reader #eyeless jack #sally williams #sally willaims x reader #eyeless jack x reader #toby x reader creepypasta #creepypasta platonic #creepypastaaaaaa #x reader #platonic x reader

[235uranium]

it's very... odd to me that people act like stan has a better handle on interpersonal relationships than ford, bc like... he really doesn't?

like, the main difference in their approach is that stan is extroverted while ford is introverted, but neither of them are Good at maintaining relationships.

stan has managed to find a sort of family in soos and wendy despite the odds, but even then he doesn't want to call attention to how he feels about the two of them. he doesnt want to admit soos is like a son to him, or that wendy holds a space more important than 'seasonal cashier'.

and when it comes to ford, he seems almost entirely unable to conceptualize who he is without comparing them. he's the worse twin, the screw up twin, the dumb twin, ect. he's always comparing himself to ford!

and like, the show kinda brushes past this in favor of 'stan values his family, unlike ford, whos a self obsessed workaholic', which doesn't even... begin to make sense with how they're actually written.

ford does think about stan, and he thinks about him with a ton of regret. over a decade after the science fair, ford is still actively grieving the loss of his closest friend and seemingly the only family he had any real bond to.

he won't straight up say this, though, because it's an open wound and anger feels safer. he can't contact stanley, because he's convinced himself they're both better off like this.

after the science fair, ford becomes a hermit. he only just barely keeps in contact with fiddleford, and seems shocked when he realizes he was lonely from living in the woods alone.

stan seems to have tried to make friends during the decade or so he was homeless, but the implication is that the friends he made were often using him or just bad people.

he's just as likely to isolate as ford is, just in a very different way

#☢️.txt #ford pines #stan pines #ford tag #stan tag #honestly i think a lot of ppl just assume that if ur an extrovert that means you have it easy making friends #newsflash: extroverts can have social anxiety and trauma! #im an extrovert and a loner bc im paranoid and autistic

[the-s1lly-corner]

Slenderman with a s/o who gardens and is really self sustaining? I just want that cottagecore life in the creepy woods with him so badly, flower crowns and all that >_<

Slenderman w/ a cottagecore!partner

i am soso so so sorry it took me so long to get to this ask SOBS ive been bouncing between a bunch of brainrots and kinda just. sitting. im trying to ease back into this acc but!! short post, apologies for that :(!! not proof read im literally typing this on the fly before my motivation burns away

honestly i think this is his type, if weird/funky people arent ! hes really into nature, given that hes a silly forest demon in my hc, natures like his whole. deal

the idea of flower crowns never crossed his mind but hes not going to resist you when you offer him one; in fact i like to think that he keeps it somewhere when hes not wearing it... which isnt often, hes gotta keep up the appearance of scary monster

he presses all the flowers you give him, keeping them stored away in a book

wanna go on a picnic? he cant really... eat traditional people food, but hey as long as youre not opposed to him eating human meat then its all good

this is a joke, he doesnt enjoy eating in front of others, much less in front of you. dont pry or ask, he doesnt like addressing it, doesnt matter if youre a normal person, a crp, a human, or a demon like him; he just doesnt like discussing it

brain blast moment, star gazing. slender may not know the proper names for constellations or which group of stars are actually constellations, but that doesnt matter. hes made his own and hes more than happy to tell you about them... being an isolated forest monster gets lonely, you know? even with the proxy thing

i still stand by my hc of "slenderman is simply a force of nature whos grey but he curses the fact that like everyone else he longs for some sort of companionship, the curse of sentience and longing"

anyways

dont get me wrong, hes still... whack, he doesnt like it when you go out into the forest when theres intruders or when its his feeding time; he doesnt want to make you see that sort of thing... mix of being disgusted with himself and not wanting to scare you off

you could reassure him all you want but theres always going to be that self loathing

moving on

noooo cuz imagine picking mushrooms with him

i admit i know next to nothing about cottagecore stuff but im trying my best

OHOH HE LOVES CARRYING YOU ON HIS BACK, YOUR ARMS WRAPPED AROUND HIS SHOULDERS LEGS AROUND HIS WAIST

loves the feeling of having you close to him, hes touch starved tbh, and it makes him feel like he can protect you like that

makes the best tea, depending on where you hc the location he probably has some plants growing there naturally that he can use for it

ooooooouuuuugh the two of you sitting inside his office, its raining outside. youre sewing something, and hes reading. ooough i love quiet comfortable silence between lovers

gardening is a must, slenderman already tends to care for the forest and keep it in the best possible shape and return what he takes; he will expect you to do the same. only thing he wont force you to do is disposal of... things

hopping back to the plant pressing, he also keeps rocks or other trinkets you give him, this man will absolutely go feral if someone comes in and destroys something. it can be a pebble and thered be blood

oooiugh big mean cold demon whos soft for their small mortal partner

#creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta x reader #creepypasta x you #crp #creepypasta imagines #slenderman imagine #slenderman x reader #slenderman headcanons

[9800sblog]

hi jes! how've u been? i hope everything's fine as u read this.

may i request a "things/characteristics that might be a turn off or deal breaker for ateez"? i hope u haven't done something like this before hehe

thank u in advance and have a great day <3

-🪽

ateez deal breakers

based on tarot, a little difficult to interpret as they don't talk openly about relationships, take it with a grain of salt

seonghwa

4 of swords, the hierophant reversed, king of swords

dependence, people that need him to boss them around, that need him to be in control of the relationship, like someone who wouldn't make the first move or high demand people. stuck in their ways, close minded, negative, too introverted (isolated, lone wolves, etc), people that stay lied down in their room all day, people that sleep too much, people that worry too much and would complain and need him to be super nice. not being spontaneous, defensive, controlling and scared.

hongjoong

(he seems super busy these days, cards were jumping and my head and eyes started feeling heavy and my body tired 😮‍💨)

ace of cups reversed, the devil reversed, 6 of cups reversed

I don't think he likes people that are very experienced in relationships. he honestly might have a specific person in mind or just a really reaaaally specific type, so if you're anything different from that, you're just not his person. if he can't see himself being friends with them, having a friendship before and beyond a relationship. someone that doesn't wanna have kids. it honestly feels like he's looking for a soulmate so if you're not them, there's just no hope for you.

yunho

knight of pentacles, 5 of cups reversed, page of pentacles, bottom of the deck: the star

co-workers, other idols, celebrities (basically anyone he couldn't run from if they broke up). doesn't want someone that has just started their career or college students, he's done a lot in his life and he wants someone to match him. he doesn't wanna fix anyone or save them, he just wants someone he can chill with, so no negativity, hard work, pessimism, anyone that would bring his spirit down, he doesn't want to be "the energizer" of his relationship, that's his JOB. he also wants someone that can be around him often, so you can't travel/wander too much; doesn't want people that sleep around and/or just wanna hook up with him, he wants commitment.

yeosang

(always in such a good, lighthearted mood, it's energizing)

2 of wands reversed, temperance reversed, 10 of swords reversed

a wanderer spirit, his job is already so demanding and fast paced, he wants someone that will stick and, again, not travel too much. no patience, he doesn't like to be yelled at. someone that moves too much, doesn't chill, loud, etc. the 10 of swords is making me think of physicals, he prefers athletic builds, so people that don't work out, get tired easily, weak in general wouldn't be able to keep up with him and his preferences/hobbies.

san

2 of swords, 5 of pentacles, page of cups, 6 of pentacles

literally people that leave him out in the cold, don't share their thoughts and feelings with him, keeping secrets. someone that is too decisive, don't ask his opinions and inputs on things. san has changed a lot over the years, he may not want someone that met him before that, he'd feel stuck, so people from his hometown, childhood friends, trainees, other idols and people that his friends recommend may be totally out of question. he'd prefer someone in the same level of fame as him, he doesn't wanna do "charity work" (for lack of better words) or worry of gold diggers and would feel nervous if the other person was more famous.

mingi

(such a happy and innocent dude he's so cute so cute)

page of swords, wheel of fortune reversed, 7 of cups reversed

I could make a very lengthy post just about what mingi doesn't like, he's VERY picky. destiny plays a huge part for him, so basically every characteristic that doesnt match his idea of his soulmate is a deal breaker. but also (even platonically), people that are too nice to any and everyone like it's their job (literally the page of swords), wild, independent, party people, superficial, immature (in his terms). doesn't like people that aren't interested in soulful subjects and/or practices, people that don't think of the future (spontaneous, careless, etc.), or don't study. people that think/dream small, can't see beyond their physical reality, don't support his fantasies, people stuck in reality (he daydreams all the time and loves to dress up as anime characters in real life). etc etc etc there's a lot more coming through, but this is a good sum up, I think .

wooyoung

7 of wands reversed, 4 of wands, 5 of swords reversed

people that get offended easily, he does playful banter even with his mom, so someone too serious doesn't work with him. maybe people that pursue him are a deal breaker, he may like the chase. someone that gets along too well with his friends (he's said he doesn't think men and women can be friends without feelings). "boring" people that don't like to bend the rules sometimes.

jongho

(jongho never gives me permission to read for him, unless I'm totally 300% available so that's a hint)

justice reversed, the world, the empress, ace of wands reversed

impulsive, reckless, hasty, self critical and judgemental of him, unfair/full of prejudice. someone that is too similar to his friends and/or their partners. too independent and in control, don't need him, also doesn't want someone that has a hectic schedule or travels too much, because he takes it slow and steady.

#ateez tarot #kpop tarot #ateez #celebrity tarot reading

[walnutcookie]

ive fallen in love with truffle (/p) oh my GODDD . do you understand how much i love this miserable woman.

ive looked into her lines and cutscenes in the story and before i just thought Wow creepy lady that eats people ! kinda sick but NO that is not what she is like AT ALL shes the complete opposite. she is literally the sweetest kindest old lady but shes also a monster and so people automatically assume the worst of her

i dont rlly know everything about her and its hard to find things on her so if anyone has more info pleaase share i want to learn more about this lovely lady

shes so lonely. like. Do you really think a person who got visitors often would throw a surprise party for a bunch of people who came for nothing but a toy. like shes TRYING to get people to come into her house but its not because she wants to eat them its because she just wants someone to talk to :( she LIKES having people over and seeing them be happy but her appearance and her home deters them away ,,, and then since shes isolated from everyone she does not know how to act around people and so shes confused when people dont like her candles that smell like rotting corpses and her army of spiders. she doesnt really know how to talk to people normally (COUGGh also shes autistic)

head in hands i feel so bad for her like she is actually such a sweet old woman shes the grandma that makes you cookies and finds out all your favorite foods so she can make them for you but people are so quick to assume that shes malicious and plotting something and she doesnt know why people are so weird to her. Probably thinks that people are just all like that because hardly anyone visits her. that its normal for people to be scared of you. and she doesnt go outside much since the sun hurts her </3

I was confused about almonds relationship chart line for her because . Why does he say this but hes still friendly with her?? and then my friend suggested that he doesnt regret it because hes scared of her its because there was nothing in the attic and he feels bad for being so suspicious and being quick to label her as malicious when shes completely innocent .

AND THEN HER RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM ? She isnt hurt at all that she was accused of a crime . in fact she seems HAPPY about it! Very happy! she had a fun visitor and it brought her much joy. (I AM GOING TO TEAR MY HAIR OUT)

this really gets to me like I garuntee you shes out there waiting to see if anyone needs help. she is looking for poor people in the pouring rain who need shelter because that means she gets visitors and you KNOW shes going to make them cookies and tea and give them a nice meal and a warm bed AND SHES STANDING OUT THERE IN THE WET RAIN TOO LIKE SHES SUFFERING HERSELF JUST SO SHE CAN SEE IF ANYONE NEEDS HELP!!!!

she just wants to care for people. And she goes out of her way - doing things like making surprise parties and standing out in the rain just to do it and unfortunately she does it in suspicious ways and people think that she is evil because of it . Falls down an elevator shaft

#🎉 rambles

[horrorscoupes]

im supposed to be writing a term paper rn but instead im gonna explain why regulus’ listener does not need a dedicated name because ive been pondering it for like. a year

cw: the usual dehumanizing/demeaning/manipulative/etc regulus shit 👍

the biggest and most overarching theme of regulus’ storyline is and always has been a comparison of love and obsession/possessiveness, especially now that we’ve gotten some extra info on the guy they were seeing before regulus came back from the slammer. obviously there is something so incredibly wrong with him- both because he’s Like That but also because in a patreon stream erik said smth to the effect of “oh just wait until you see how he ended up like that” which to me means that something either deeply traumatizing or catastrophic led to regulus being the mangy beast he is today. <- this is supported (in my opinion) by how rampantly insecure he is shown throughout all of his videos, most noticeably in the beginning when he’s vulnerable about how he’s been lonely too (“I don’t want you to be nervous when you’re with me. I want you to feel safe. At home. Because that’s how you make me feel. You make me feel so warm inside. It’s been a very long time since I felt that way.” [Yandere Invisible Man Makes You His Forever (11:10)]). that quote among many others lends to the theory and idea that something happened to him/one of his charges/etc that irreparably affected his ability to maintain healthy boundaries. all of that is obvious tho.

i think that regulus choosing his listener as his charge (as opposed to being assigned to them as ive seen some people on here say)(“I believe they were not his official charge, but he has now kind of taken them on as an unofficial one… …They were not his-- they were never an official charge of his, but, y’know they are… He would now consider them a charge. I don’t know that they would agree.” Working on the Train Model and Hanging Out (2:34:00)) was very deliberate, since it’s very clear that for as long as he was in their house the first time, no one was overwhelmingly worried about their absence from the outside world. that isn’t to say that no one was worried at all, we still don't know how he got caught, but it’s obvious that his preying on them had to do with their predisposed social isolation. this is clear to me because he watched them for a great deal of time before he ever intervened. 

before i get to the main point i also want to chime in on the ever present discourse of how he managed not to starve to death. in my opinion, there are two equally likely scenarios for his first stint with them, with one being far more likely for the second stint. his listener had close to no mental strength before him, and certainly did have much during his stay with them, so there’s no particular evidence that could prove he Never Ever put them to sleep (or just left them magically paralyzed) and left to filter feed out in the real world for a bit. i don’t know how likely that is after he got out of prison, but i don’t think it’s entirely out of the question. the second, probably more likely, possibility is that after days/weeks/months of nonstop love-bombing, physical affection, and manipulating regulus’ listener Did enjoy being with him. not in a conscious or happy sort of way, but by way of their body and brain reacting positively to his presence. when you don’t have anyone else, even an abuser can be a point of relief.

FINALLY onto the topic that i started word-vomiting over in the first place. i think that the most articulate and correct way to refer to them is as “regulus’ listener” for one very specific reason. i think that they are purposefully nameless. he doesnt call them by petnames or by their actual name because they don’t need it. they are not a person to him, they are a possession. he wrote over their memories of their boyfriend, wiping away the way him calling them “sweetie” made them feel, because he will never call them that in any kind way. 

his most recent video gave A LOT of context to their living arrangement and the way that he controls them on a day-to-day basis (as all of my friends have suffered through hearing about lol). and i think that the context we learned is really important when set against all of the other manipulatorcore characters we get to see on there. it seems very vital that his listener has no name and no identity, but he still requests their permission to “help” them (“I can rework these memories. I can make them feel better than you could ever imagine. Mine. I can help. I can fix this. Can I help? Will you let me help? Please let me help.” Possessive Yandere Demon Rewrites Your Memories (4:03)). in doing this he offers them autonomy that he has no obligation to give, but he still won’t give them a name. because, as he calls them 52 times in that one video, the only thing they will ever be to him is “Mine.” 

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redacted regulus #no hate to people that give them a name obv you guys have fun

[unexpectedbrickattack]

Ngl I'm kind of dillydallying around my own SDV fixation and i'd KILL to see what your brain is doing to this game like i for one would eat up dat stuff UP . . .

I love the way this is phrased; genuinely 😭💖 like im a force of nature tearing through any new interest like its made of wet tissue paper 💥💥💥

I thought about it some more and i will (eventually) make an sdv blog. Its going to be a mess having all my interests on one dashboard (im lazy and i dont want to sign in and out all the time for diff accounts lol) but i need sdv stuff in sight or ill explode. For now tho i will ramble about random hcs rattling around in my brain

- The valley is FULL of magic, but not alot of Magical Beings that utilize that magic. If the residents of pelican town knew more about magic, there would be alot more wizards than just. The Wizard.

- Everyone in pelican town has some kind of latent magic, or at the very least, an affinity or sensitivity to magic. I like to think that magic builds in very secluded corners of their world and the area including (and surrounding) pelican town is simply one of those places.

-(sorry, i am just obsessed with Places and Magic) I like the idea of your farmer being drawn to pelican town bc they have a bit of magic in them. The letter is just A Letter, but it is the desire to see this town that makes them leave their old life behind. I am obsessed w the idea that the magic in the farmer craves the valley bc it sees the valley as its home, and by extension, the farmer sees the valley as their home. The people of pelican town rarely leave bc the magic in them sees the valley as their home always. The biggest examples of this are Kent, Demetrius, Evelyn, Emily and Shane. The huge exceptions to this (still workin on it) are lewis and sebastian; lewis bc i see him as a normal, non-magical being trying to wrangle the weirdness of this town, and sebastian bc his feelings of isolation and not being understood propels him to crave the world outside of the valley. (That changes a bit if u befriend him/romance him)

-(shane is weird bc hes super depressed and lonely but his happiness comes from his new ‘ragtag family’ (his words) and his very Not Normal chickens. The animals of the valley love him bc he loves them and he becomes tied to the valley bc of it. Marnie has always loved the animals of the valley and some of the love they had for her definitely rubbed off onto shane, who very openly admits he loves the chickens 💙)

-I wasnt very fond of the idea of purple=magic but i think that was bc i often saw it as a way to tie-in the wizard and abigail. I am still trying to get through the friendships for everyone but rn it doesnt feel like theres any connection between them (and caroline). But. I do like the idea of odd, unnatural colors coming through bc of magic. Alex and Pierre having normal brown hair; Haley and Sam being true blondes. BUT. Shane and Jas having purple-ish hair. Emily and Caroline have blue toned hair. Even vincent have pinkish hair 🥺💖 (and dare i say….sebastian with purple/black hair like shane 👀…maybe he has more magic in him than hed like to believe). Abigail doesnt count bc from what ive seen, Caroline laments about her daughters dyed hair. “When she was younger it used to be chestnut brown” which…awww she took after her dad lol.

- LAST THING. This is not an hc i am just mad about this. I cannot believe the game doesnt allow u to befriend Marlon. What the fuck. What the fuck !!! I love him!!! I want to be friends w the chill monster slayer! Im a monster slayer too!!! Let me give him gifts !!! Fuck ! 😭😭😭💥💥💥💥 Also. I know how to write old man yaoi. They shouldve let me do a romance path for willy, clint and marlon. And the wizard i guess but someone already did that. Linus doesnt count bc hes ascended the need for human romance; hes one w nature (read. aroace). And we (linus and willy and the farmer) already co-raise leo so that counts for something i think 🤔

#answered #chattin #sdv #sorry that 80% of this was about the fucking Town #but i am obsessed w Places that Feel #Magic that Feels #wants and craves and breathes with emotion #you come to the valley bc the magic in you misses home #the valley calls for you bc she misses you #not just the magic but the person who has kept this magic safe and warm #the valley knows when to let go. but it also knows when to reach out and bring you back #everyones got little tethers on them. she wonders what everyone is up to #the farmer wants something beyond this desk and she gives a little tug #she hums along the tether to kent and its funny; she doesnt need to pull at all; he comes back as soon as hes able #sebastian wants to see whats out there; find his purpose; and she unravels the tether as much as he needs it to be #anyway hi. welcome to my destroyed whirlwind room of a brain #this doesnt scratch like. the wildlife of the valley. the magic in the farm and crops. the seasons #the moonlight jellies (and how u can see them in fern island sometimes) #lewis and his many many crimes (read. he is wack and i hate him) #the emily/shane friends w benefits agenda i have going on (and harvey/elliot ship that i love so dearly) #and the jodi/kent/caroline polycule u didnt think u needed until i said it just now #i have like. too many thots. its literally consuming brain. i fall asleep thinking of this fucking game #and the version of it that exists in my head rentfree LMAO

[lemontongues]

yknow ive been thinking again lately about how i would like to see more realism in batman content, both canon and fandom, but not the Dark And Gritty kind. the kind thats like.

yes actually he is highly emotionally intelligent and does understand himself quite well and has just accepted that he is A Freak and decided to roll with it rather than being so horrifically emotionally repressed that he can barely even acknowledge that what hes doing is based in trauma. hes been in therapy since he was like 9 years old. he studies human psychology extensively both for himself and so he has better odds of predicting whats gonna go wrong and how when hes up against a rogue or negotiating a hostage situation or whatever. he meditates for two hours a day and is fully capable of keeping a healthy handle on his anger 98% of the time. he's nice to people and fun to be around and sincerely caring. if he were just Always Right but super isolated and reactive and cruel and controlling everyone would fucking hate him and no it wouldnt be enough to sustain his crimefighting activities, thats a stupid lone wolf fuckboy fantasy

he has a strict 9pm bedtime that he only breaks for mandatory WE/brucie activities or emergencies. if theres a gala where he needs to rub shoulders with ppl to gather intel or keep his company running he'll do it but hes Not Happy about being out until midnight and cuts out early as often as possible, and when hes chasing the joker around until 3am hes lamenting his poor sweet circadian rhythm that did nothing wrong ever in its life the whole time. when hes batmanning hes expending a fuckton of energy and he needs to make it up and have a well-established routine to counteract the punishment hes putting his body through. on a similar note, this man is building braces and compression into his suit and doing extensive physical therapy exercises every day of his life bc he wants to have helpful little things like "knees" and "shoulders" by the time hes 40, and hes probably eating a small farms worth of assorted leafy greens and several chickens per day

he is simply Never drunk and he doesnt actually have that much sex. hes really really good at faking a) being drunk and b) getting a high priority phone call from lucius the minute someone hes making out with starts trying to get his shirt off. he also does a lot of "hey look i gotta get out of here with my reputation intact, can we help each other out and pretend we're gonna go fuck?" kind of negotiating with ppl (see: his 9pm bedtime, plus sometimes hes gotta slip away from an event to be sneaky), which is how a lot of the more wild stories about him start circulating lol. this is a man who's regularly getting gassed/injected/etc with highly experimental substances created by maniacs trying to torment or kill him, he does NOT want substances like drugs or alcohol in his body that could potentially interact with them, and the last thing he needs is to be dealing with a pregnancy or sti scare. plus if he can play it safe with someone and have them think of him as a nice and trustworthy dude who just has a bonkers reputation, all the better for his batman activities!

idk i just feel like theres unexplored potential in a lot of that stuff bc so much of recent batman mythos is like HES SO HARDCORE AND CAN DO ANYTHING AND HES ALWAYS RIGHT CAUSE HES SO PARANOID AND DISRESPECTFUL OF PPL AND THEIR BOUNDARIES BUT ITS OKAY BC ITS IN THE NAME OF BEING RIGHT and im like. okay. gotta admit that i dont rly find that believable or in line with my values. can we talk about WE's sweet sweet employee benefits package and bruce designing his suit to take most of the impact off his knees when he jumps off a roof. members of the jl discovering that he gives shockingly balanced and insightful advice about their mundane personal problems. bruce printing his own batsymbol envelopes to leave people cash after he misaims his grappling hook and breaks their window. things of that nature.

#sage talks #im just goofing around with personal hcs in this post but also #if we could bring him back into the realm of believable humanity again i rly would love it lol

[fruit-salad-ship]

Monster Rome AU

I woke up to an overwhelming amount of ideas from y'all, and i love it.

-------------

I think i really like the minotaur grey idea, i keep mulling over other options for him and it just doesnt suit as well, gives me Ferdinand vibes, a mean looking huge monster of a creature, who just wants to sit under a tree and feel the breeze and get pets and love. Also then we can branch into the whole 'someone goes to slay him' story, Grey tries not to fight, cant help it to survive and ends up becoming feared when hes actually very docile, rince and repeat story line.

This is where plum comes in, I 1000% cant see her as anything other than a full blown godess, her energy, her demeanour, everything about her point to a deity. She is kind and calm and finds humans fun little things to intervene with, perhaps a little mischevious, somewhat of a trickster but never with harmful things, more just little pranks. She sees Grey is lonely and sad, and feels for the creature, perhaps she made him, perhaps she knows who did, and they didnt accoutn for his gentle heart. But she does. She sees he's stuck in a loop of vioence and needs to be freed, but she cant do it, she's got to send a champion to meddle.

Enter demigod peach, a very tired, very well trained fighter, who simply wishes for the same thing, peace and quiet. I'd like to think years of fighting and a slow aging process make her wise but worn out, totally burnt to the very end of her wick from fighting endless battles, perhaps even other gods messed with her to make her a champion to battle things she never wanted to fight. Almost a puppet in some game, she doesnt have any control of her choices, and its made her very jittery and uncertain in social settings, kind of a massive nervous introvert, despite her skill level.

She's been crushing on plum for ages, but thats a literal god, and Peach is just some little fragment of one, not even someone who'd catch her attentions. She gives up that attempt to win a shred of plum's attention without even starting, its destined to fail, shes a tired, worn out scarred and nervous person with nothing to offer, she knows that Plum's out of hr league, so much so she's not even playing the same sport. But when the goddess she looks so fondly towards asks her for a favour, to go and free the minotaur trapped away, she does it for once with a bit more enthusiasm, Plum asked kindly, she wasnt pushy or bossy like the others, and that gentle touch was enough to make Peach (dare she say it) eager to help. At first theres a mix up, peach thinks "freed" meant kill, thats what shes known for, its why they ask her to perform such dangerous tasks so often, but she see's Grey sat somewhere quiet making something, he's intelligent, and kind, and curious, so she doesnt take out her sword. Grey's instinct after many years of being targeted is to lash out, but Peach doesnt retaliate, and he slowly realises this one is different. They become fast friends, he shows her all the things hes made in his isolation, he's actualy rather inventive, with a fine eye for craft.

The pair start to fight together, he swears his sword to her, and she's...a little taken back by this but fine, if he's sworn to help her he can leave his current location and prison, he's technically freed if her orders are to live and enjoy more. Besides, she too has travelled and worked alone for many years, maybe some company would be nice, especially company that likes the same stuff as she does. She finds he likes a good scratch on the neck, and doesn tmind her putting little briads in his hair. They have a petience for anything nature based, sitting and watching birds, or making cool carvings from wood, finding interesting rocks or spotting a deer out in the forests. It's like they were cut from the same cloth. Peach never got on with humans, and the gods were out of reach or if they did pay attention to her it was never for good reasons, always taking from her, and she only ever recieved trauma in return or a new scar, or a new level of fear and exhaustion. Other demigods like her often came off arrogant or entitled, they had more favour with the gods more often than not so they felt better than her. She never found her people, but maybe her person was a monster? A very kind one.

We also get to have some low key fun with a little monster fucking going on there. because why not, for the spicy side of this all. both of them are total outcasts, covered in battle damage, who find common ground in the soft touches and gentle moments. Things neither have much experince with.

plum becomes very fond of this little demigod whos done as shes asked and then some, how Peach had gone unseen for so long is a question she'll ask the other gods sometime, she cant even find out which god is her relative, its been redacted, no one will speak of her, as if Peach is taboo, and everything she came from is too. Perhaps she's some secret disgrace, or maybe an heir to something far bigger than she ever could have imagined. For a demigod she shows incredible strength and resilience, things that have killed others like her almost slide off her back. Whatever she is, wherever she came from, shes less human than others would like to say, and her lowley status despite this means theres certainly a secret to be found there, someones not telling the truth here. Plum would 100% dig for more on this strange little demigod, and start asking questions about her that get her called up by far more important gods who tell her to stop sniffing around, that Peach is a child of a disgraced match, nothing more, they do not speak of her. Plum doesnt believe it, shes too strong, holds no power amongst her own despite that, she should be high ranking, well renown, in a better position, and yet. Bottom of the pile, essentially thrown away. Plums got to know the truth.

Perhaps its a child of prophecy situation, but Peach is clueless, she just gets orders, and her and Grey go off to do the jobs. Plum gives them as much protection as she can, and at every point possible, spends time with them, theyre sweet and compelling, and she can sense Peach is totally nervous around her, its very sweet for someone so big and tough. Grey loves this god, he finds out she was the one that got him out, and becomes a big soft puppy of a monster with her, brings her little trinkets, makes her stuff, shares his stories which plum loves, all the while peach is quiet, more so than normal, polite and kind but very stoic, her personlaity reverts to how she behaves with all the other gods, theyre above her, she retreats in on herself, doesnt make eye contact, doesnt argue, doesnt express opinions, just shuts up and behaves. Plums nice but shes still a god, and peach has been subject to their wrath a few times too many to push her luck here. Shes simply happy that nothings gone wrong, and that Plums not quick to anger, her old crush on this woman gets shoved down and she just plays the part handed to her. Just some lowley half human who has no place to even look her way, that she gets to sit with someone so special is in itself a gift.

Grey doesnt seem to have the same fear peach does, nor the reserved behaviour, in fact he picks up when plum is around, gets excited and jolly, this is a kind lady and he likes her attention, wishes his dear friend would feel the same. Notices Peach just shuts down a lot, never brings it up, just tries to include her when this happens, not that it usually works.

Plum would get frustrtaed at her champions quiet behaviour, she's seen her without that mask on, when shes less tightly wound, and its so much nicer. she'd out right ask why she does that, peach dancing around the truth that she gets nervious around someone so pretty. Greys defo worked it out, hes not the best at social, but hes got a good eye for Peach now, teases her for it a lot.

------------

this setup defo feels like it can retain that tired sad beaten down peach energy original Rome AU had, which i LOVED, shes always so emotionally durable, so like, i like to make her weaker, and more unnrved and unsettled, she'd not understand recieving affections, or kind gestures, or anythign other than orders.

i may toy with this a bit more if i get five!

Thank you everyone for the great ideas and notes and messages, its helped me feel like i can dip my toe back into this kind of an AU without being pooped on for it.

#maybe peach is a true god cursed to live a mortal life? #maybe shes a prophetic child #maybe shes a child of someone VERY important #no one knows #plum will find out though #shes a sharp one #meanwhile her little demigod champion remains quiet and agreeable #and she hates it #fruit salad #brainrot #rome AU

[copicwritesblabberblahs]

DREAM A LIL' DREAM

📌 TomTord (dont like it = just dont read), Very sweet, soft, sexuality awakening? the realisation at least.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Tord was practically '6"2 of everything girls wanted. Big and well-built, tall and athletic, foreign and mature, well-dressed and charming, ocassionally mean and snarky. He was, as advertised, a total girl magnet. Tord should be well on his way to finding the girl.

Yet, he somehow always found himself hanging out with Tom. His childhood friend just always happened to be there when no one else was. Despite the advantage towards Tord, there seemed to be something... different between them, something that neither one could explain.

They were brought together by yet another boring dinner and both Tom and Tord just felt that they had a more enjoyable time alone. Someplace away from all the hustle and bustle of the kitchen, they both felt that having to withstand the noise of a full house was total and complete torture. So, as they usually did on such occassions, they made their way out to the garden and headed for the big, rusty ventilator beside the house. The roof quickly became the perfect escape for them, as it was easy to climb up to and provided a clear, open space to simply breathe and collect oneself. It was calming. In that moment, the roof began to feel like a small isolated island to the boys, far far away from the commotion of the world; drifting absolutely alone on the calm and infinite ocean of the night sky, stars illuminating the path to escape.

They both enjoyed this notion, and soon began talking each others ears off; the conversation turned more riveting as the moon turned brighter and brighter. God, Tord just found Tom incredibly intriguing. The way he viewed the world was nothing like Tord had ever thought of or even dared think of, peeling back his reality and learning to see the colours in a completely different way was what drew Tord towards Tom in the first place.

It was more than a curious attraction, Tord admired Tom. He adored him. More than he had realised in fact, as he recently found himself thinking of the brit more and more. He would catch himself picturing the brits smile, hearing his rowdy laugh or derisive grunt in times where Tom wasnt even remotely related. Tord continued to ignore the frequency of this, until eventually it was happening so often, that something suddenly.. clicked in his head.

Tord... never stopped thinking about Tom.

Confused by the euphamism, Tord attempted to continue his current conversation with Tom by talking as if he hadnt just unlocked a part of himself he never knew exsisted. Tord never did stop thinking of Tom, and it was only just begining to confuse him. He shouldnt be obsessively thinking of his best friend like he was, it didnt make any sense. It was crazy, right? No, Tord was supposed to be a ladies' man, the ladies' man. He always has, he always will.

Yet... he didnt feel he deserved that title right now. Right now, the most perfect woman doesnt sound half as interesting as the man before him, the guy sitting across from him on their lonely, little island of a roof. This... boy. The boy with all these brilliant ideas and daring plans and dreams and passions. The most beautiful woman sounds like nothing compared to the beauty of the boy before him.

Drenched in a swelling warmth, Tord couldnt help but smile as he continued to listen attentively to the boy with the dreams, his passion etched in the emotions of his words as it took form through his hands and expressions. Tom spoke with pure, colorful feeling and it captured everything Tord had to give and made him want to watch Tom talk and talk and talk until no air is left for his lungs to breathe. In that moment, Tom took a pause in his rant to ask if Tord was okay. All he could manage in response was a small nod and nervous grin, as he was otherwise proccupied dealing with this new and strange feeling infiltrating his heart.

It was an intoxicating feeling, unlike any other Tord had felt. It gave him a strong urge, it made Tord want to gift Tom what no one else could, give his absolute everything; his being and his entirety would be left to Tom, with the same undying passion he so adored about the boy. What he wouldnt give to the boy full of dreams.

------------------------------------------

#eddsworld #eddsworld headcanons #eddsworld tord #tord eddsworld #eddsworld tom #tom eddsworld #tomtord #tordtom #ew tomtord #ew tom #ew tord

[trashcatsnark]

Just rambling because I really wanna be feral about my bg3 tav and dont have a place to really do so lmao but my little rotted brain wanted to play with the whole- tadpole fucks with previous conditions/characters shit. Ala making Astarion able to walk in sunlight and and seemingly making Gale's orb hungrier/less stable (judging off the first artefact helping him as usual but then the second one doesnt)

And I don't do fantasy often but since arcana Ive always wanted to play with a character with a enchantment/spell on them that makes people forget them shortly after meeting them. Unable to form lasting connections and living a life thats almost entirely in isolation (i love lonely transient bitches)

So, my tav, Petra (half wood elf, rogue/ranger) ran away from a shitass abusive life with her now dead partner who casted the enchantment on them both, so only they could remember one another. Being each other's entire world. Shit happens, her lover dies, but the enchantment is binded to their instrument (lover was a bard)

Which is all build up to say, she had and only wanted a cozy insignificant existence, because significance just means giving people the power to hurt her/being known means vulnerability and yet now thanks to the tadpole, she is being perceived and thats horrifying enough- i also really love the extent that Petra contradicts with many of the companions in terms of the idea of ambition and desire.

For so many of the companions (except Karlach really) insignificance is their like nightmare. Gale has both an innate hunger f for power because he derives his sense of self-worth from being a powerful, significant, and impressive wizard. Gale of Waterdeep, chosen of Mystra, deep down he does want a more simple life of relaxing in his tower and idly reading, and cooking for someone he loves but he can't ever seem to fully shake this feeling that when he sees power or opportunity he must grasp it because without talent, power, significance, magic, utility- he thinks he has no worth at all. Astarion craves power, once you start to enter act 2, he starts to talk about how he thinks the player has ambition and that maybe heyyy you can use that ambition for me? Because to him ambition and power, his own or using someone elses is how he'll find a way to permanently escape his abuse. He says he's not content to sculk in the shadows, what good is freedom if he doesn't have the power to make sure he'll never lose it. Wyll, the blade of frontiers, wanting desperately to help everyone- be a hero, make the sword coast proud in a way he never could make his father. He wants to matter, he wants to be important, he is forever burdened by the weight of his mistakes- the pact that binds him, never able to feel free of it and just wants the world to look at him and see something good.

Lae'zel fears insignificance, this is stated plain as day in the scene where she threatens the player, if you choose to probe her thoughts. She's doesn't care if she dies, if her skull splits, and tentacles writhe through her flesh- she's terrified it will happen before her queen ever knows her name, that she'll never be more than a failed soldier, that she'll never wield the silver sword or ride a red dragon. That she'll die before she feels she ever mattered.

Shadowheart wants to be a dark justiciar, she wants to be of value to her god, she wants to matter- similarly to Lae'zel, ironic given their hostility, but it is the same ultimate goal. She doesn't want to be no one, she doesn't just want to be another follower who's struck with pain, mind wiped tirelessly, and nothing to show for it- she wants her pain to have purpose, meaning, even if it's just serving the god causing it. Karlach is already a bit of an oddity in terms of, she never really seems to be scrounging for power and signficance and in fact- her power, her strength, her ability is what led to Zariel choosing her as her attack dog. So, while she's a bit more similar in not having a heavy desire for power, ambition, and a goal beyond- not wanting to be hurt, the desire for freedom and life on her terms. They still differ so greatly in terms of- Karlach lost out on getting to be a part of life for so long, she misses people, connection, and she doesn't want to avoid life because it hurt her, she wants to take back the parts stolen from her- she wants to live and be apart of the world finally again on her terms. Even if it kills her.

And my brain just kind of buzzing and feral for this idea of how she somehow finds herself thrusted into not only being perceived, being surrounded by people who are learning who she is, knowing parts of her she hasn't shared, and also being asked to... lead. When it's never truly been something she craves and even overwhelms her, but it finds her regardless and how she helps ground for many of them their grappling for power/ambition while for her they help her find that... she deserves to be a part of the world around her, that she can touch the world around her and make a difference. And she's no less guilty of wanting something that's bad for her, that she's been alive but not truly living and returning to that loneliness once the tadpole is plucked out won't be peace, won't be contentment, isn't freedom, because it was never that to begin with- she was just languishing in isolation and grief as a living ghost.

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 spoilers #astarion #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #wyll ravengard #shadowheart #laezel #karlach cliffgate #karlach #bg3 tav #petra of nowhere in particular #something something the balance between being desperate to prove you matter and resigning yourself to the idea you never can #something something the fight of needing to be seen to feel like you matter but the horrifying ordeal of being known #will you forever languish for more knowing you'll never be sated or do you starve yourself so you may learn to live with hunger

[blueeandyellowmakesgreen]

what convinced you to become a mike wheeler apologist?

the lu*as on the line book where it said that mike canonically moped and stayed in his basement playing video games. it was basically the domino effect of realizations from there

the way he was struggling too on the byers moving away and was dealing with it by doing something he shamed will for when he clearly wants the same thing is so heartbreaking to me. it also made me realize along with posts from people that mike literally has no one. his dad is neglectful, his mom's too focused on keeping the family together that she pays no attention to mike. dustin and lucas have other friends and peers to turn to, and i doubt mike's even that close to the hellfire club. it saved him from isolation, sure, but nothing that would make him attached relationship wise. nancy's too busy with the school paper. lastly, he cant turn to el or will because they're not in hawkins anymore. and when he tries to call will, he's met with a busy line.

this boy has been lonely with his unaddressed trauma for almost a year. his two favorite people are nowhere near. not to mention, hes confused and terrified about the feelings he just found out he had for his male best friend. he finds himself missing his friend more than he is with his own girlfriend, and he cant even say i love you back, not even in writing. he literally has no one to turn to about it with. he knows he cant talk about it anyway, but it would be nice to at least vaguely open up about it. but he doesnt even have that option because everyone in the party feels so split apart. and knowing how will thinks of him as the leader and the heart of it, he probably blames himself for it.

the best thing he has is taking it out through dnd campaigns and hanging out with hellfire. like god hes an asshole sometimes when he snaps, but i can only imagine what he went through, especially knowing that the one time he needed the most company was where everyone drifted apart. and he probably cant even admit that to anyone because he feels this obligation to always be strong,since his friends perceive him as the person who has all the answers.

he's just...very lost at the moment. hes been alone with his trauma, anger, insecurities and fears for the longest time. this kid is just going through a lot, man

#byler #sorry for rambling wogajh this got long lol

[elevatortheory]

what do you imagine barry's childhood was like

(this is partly childhood and then also teenage years + military sorry. i got really excited explaining it because i imagine it in a very elaborate way.)

well i think it was very lonely and isolating for him . his mother is entirely out of the picture - i imagine dead, rather than divorce. if they had a decent relationship or she was still around, he would probably end up mentioning her at some point. but he has no strive for a maternal figure either, suggesting she did not neglect him or remain alive, yet distant from his life. so, probably dead. his father either doesnt talk about her, or talks about her too much.

in a strict military family, he's the youngest of however many sons there are. his brother probably went into the military as well, and was favored by their father. barry's father clearly does not care for him as much, annoyed by his shyness. barry did not like him. he wants to impress him, but continues to fail. strangely, he doesn't have any real jealousy towards his brother. barry might hold a grudge, feel resentful, but he's not a jealous person. he's left feeling considerably unloved and neglected by john sr. though, leaving him to search for fatherly approval elsewhere.

john sr. is cold, strict, and an alcoholic. barry doesnt like to drink much anymore.

at school, he's unpopular and unimportant. he doesn't get particularly good grades, he's painfully awkward, he doesn't contribute anything important. probably few friends, if any. i don't think he has any serious friendships here, nor a girlfriend. he could play baseball in high school though. football would probably be more realistic, but i like baseball because it correlates to john jr., ok?

i actually imagine he'd be treated very poorly at school. hes sweet and shy, but autism wasn't a known diagnosis then, and he's probably already developed a violent streak from fuches' training (ill talk about fuches in a second). he comes across as aggressive, awkward, and stupid. he doesnt feel accepted here. the people here arent like him. they dont get it.

but fuches gets it. fuches is there from when hes 5 years old, becoming a more and more frequent presence in his life as he ages. fuches is...like an uncle to him. (like a father to him, but he doesn't understand that yet.) fuches is understanding of how shy he is, fuches is kind, fuches can get away with what he wants. he's like the cool uncle of the family. he tells stories about him and john sr. in the war, and barry wants to be like him. he slips him beer when john sr. isn't looking. he teaches him to shoot glass bottles, and takes him out hunting. he's a bit cruel sometimes, a bit harsh, pressuring barry, but he has good intentions, right? he makes barry feel loved. barry trusts him. barry goes into the military, full of the propaganda he's been fed and a desire to impress his father(s).

as soon as he can, barry joins the military. for once in his life, he feels accepted by his peers. he's a good shot, trained already by fuches. he's a really good shot. theyre impressed by him. people his age, impressed by him. who act like they love him. who act like theyre friends. barry is accepted for his violence, and if he keeps doing that, theyll love him more. he sends letters to fuches. he's eager to serve, eager to help. eager to be praised. barry learns to mask here, learns to copy the way the other marines act. i dont see enough people discuss how barry clearly masks around other marines, like chris. around this time is when his mental disorder starts showing symptoms - i'm not sure what i think he has, but it involves (often grandiose) delusions and dissociation. as things get more stressful, it gets worse. he's violent, and he can't help it. it's like he loses control of himself. its like hes a monster. he just wants to kill the bad guys. theyre the bad guys, hes the good guy. and bad people have to die. this is how its explained to him, and he doesnt question it. hes trusting of authority. but he ends up killing the good guy, and now hes the bad guy, and he has to go.

the period of time between barry being discharged and then becoming a hitman (around half a year, if i remember correctly) is particularly interesting to me. this period of time, where he is a war criminal, dangerous, scared, deeply suicidal, lost, no purpose, marked, etc etc. they gave him help for a while. they sent him to a hospital. gave him a psychiatrist. it didnt really help. only fuches visited him. after a bit, they let him go from the hospital too, claiming he was fine, he wasnt a danger, he was normal now. he was fine. this is a huge example of just one way the government fails its veterans, how the state of mental health care fails them, how they let a young man go off into the world knowing he could still be dangerous and traumatized purely because they didnt want to care for him anymore.

his father doesnt show up for him. is he dead, or just disappointed? thats up to you. fuches is there, though. fuches is there to help him. to save him. to give him a purpose. barry doesnt need a purpose. he needs love. approval. his violence was once praised, but now, reviled. but fuches tells him it can still be useful. he can still kill the bad guys. itll be profitable and itll help the world and nobody will even know. everyday he is being manipulated. barry is in such a weakened state, so damaged and shocked and scared, that he accepts it. because at least fuches loves him, right? and maybe this is just who he is. maybe hes just a killer. at least he can be a good one, though. at least he can help the world somehow.

maybe if he destroys enough bad in the world, itll make up for who he is. maybe if he just does what hes told, someone will love him. maybe his father will finally see him and be proud.

#sorry it turned into my average 'I HATE THE GOVERNMENT' rant at the end. i do hate the government though. and fuches. #fav #<- not really but i want a special tag to save it . because i liked how i wrote it

[sukifoof]

Ooooh! 8 and 18 for the ask game if you don't mind?

NICE I WAS HOPING FOR 8!!!! tbh in my heart all the characters i like are aro BUT there are some i feel Really strongly about and thats flowey and femt (unsurprising) i feel like. flowey is probably understandable. given his. Everything. but with femt i feel like it just fits with his character. guy who hates "normal" and seems to struggle to bond with anyone and considers himself a freak. also whatever THIS was

"whats ur type" "i dont know i dont CARE just. be funny when ur suffering i guess." i love femt hes SO funny i think flowey and femt are the only characters ever

some other characters i like that i think are aro are haruka kokonose, mahiru shiina (milgram), and mr itto genshin. for haruka i think the fact that he feels so isolated from everyone else and how he gets Weird about the few friendships he has And how he desperately tries to understand what friendship Is is so. ohhh i love him.. and mahiru is just. the obsession with love and her trying to Define love and how she seems to think being in a relationship will fix her somehow. i have a really specific relationship with being aro and these characters just kinda Hit what its like to feel that way as an aro person <3 love them dearly. also i do not have any reasons for itto i just feel it in my heart <3

and 18!! i tend to avoid shipping mostly cuz i guess i dont really care for it?? it doesnt really make sense to me and i much prefer to explore character analysis and how traumatized characters react to those around them. if i Do end up shipping anyone its almost always in qpr way

YUUTA SAKURAI SECTION!!!! i never get to talk about him but this is a PERFECT time to talk about him. everyone watch net juu no susume IMMEDIATELY its one of my most favorite shows and severely underrated. i think yuuta is such an interesting character. so much of his character is him wanting to get closer to people but he has an emotional wall up both because of his parents deaths and because of his Various Past Experiences involving people wanting him romantically and him not at all feeling that way.

i really like how they write his misunderstanding of how hes perceived and that hes convinced that hes going to get in the way of others relationships... thinking about the idea of people wanting to take up as little space as possible because they feel unworthy of being loved and i wanna shake his head and be like NO everyone LIKES YOU SO MUCH!!!

i think his relationship with moriko is really special because theyre the only people they feel they can truly rely on. both of them have been so lonely and i just think a lot about how they both put so much importance on their friendship and partnership it just means a lot to me that the romance aspect feels more like an afterthought to their friendship because i rarely see that... i also really like how this handles the idea of wanting to be seen as Someone Else because firstly i like it in an aro way but also this show is. so good for trans people

i just think a lot about the way he understands his relationships around him and how he hates being lonely and very rarely has people understand him in the way he wants i just love yuuta so much hes one of my most favorite characters <3 on that note i think him and moriko. they are so qpr to me

imagine i have my head in my hands i am desperately begging people watch this show its only 11 episodes i love it so much... thank u for the ask these were fun to answer :)

#another long post of riel insanity #aromantic #amatonormativity cw #net juu no susume #yuuta sakurai #recovery of an mmo junkie #netojuu

[funyarinqa]

ive cracked the code of what type of characters i like

mafuyu and sora are closer loners than they are manipulative because its like, their driving force? mafuyu feels like she has to lie in order for her parents to love her, making her feel like no one would love who she truly is, which is someone she herself doesnt even know. sora manipulates a lot of characters throughout the series, but he does so because he wants to win the game in a world where he feels like he can thrive in,unlike his previous world where unwritten rules led to him and his sister becoming ostracized to the point they became shut-in NEETS   

while izaya and ayanokoji are closer to manipulative than loner because its how they deal with any problem first, ayanokoji manipulates everyone around him for the sake of obtaining freedom, all while not knowing how to genuinely connect with other people while izaya manipulates people in an effort to protect his heart all while finding doing so very fun, leading other people to see him as trash.

 light, kei, and akechi are all in the center but are closer to what i think motivates them more, kei for being alone, akechi for anger, and light for manipulation. since kei’s desire is to be alone so no one can hurt him again, akechi does everything he did for the sake of revenge, and light sees peoples lives as something he can easily discard for the sake of his justice

 belial and akane are solely in manipulation because anger and loneliness arent things that they really have/are affected by- akane is alone, but shes not lonely because she only cares about her goals, she was the one who abandoned aoi and junpei for her plans to save humanity and she is very comfortable with lying to other people something she did during all of 999. belial manipulates for the sake of lucilius’s goals since he loves him, but doesnt do so out of anger or a feeling of loneliness

hakuryuu and frank are just in anger because while hakuryuu uses a djiin to brainwash people, he himself isnt skilled at manipulating people even though hes tried in the past, while frank is someone whose very aggressive he isnt known for manipulation either- hes more of a stab first ask questions later kinda guy neither of them are lonely because although earlier in their stories they were loners - hakuryuu has judar, and frank has the rest of legion

char, dabi, and ramuda are angry and manipulative- char and dabi willing to sarcfice the people around them for their revenge, and ramuda is someone who conceals his true nature and is actually very aggressive when he's himself

  vanitas and felix are angry and loners- felix is someone who doesnt open up to his childhood friends and isolates himself, and vanitas is someone who never had anyone in the first place during his entire "existence" and was just treated as a weapon

 and eugeo is eugeo

#matu mutters #im not gonna tag the charas/series bc i did this out of fun and dont wanna clog up their tags since large fandom posts where my fave is #tagged annoys the hell outta me