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rubykgrant · 1 year

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Tucker asking the question “Sometimes, I wonder how I taste...” but instead of the joke being mis-matched ideas about biting or kissing, Caboose answers without any hesitation- “Mint. You’d taste like mint. And I’d taste like blueberry!”. After processing that, Tucker figures out what Caboose means-

Tucker; Wait- do you think we have like, candy flavors? That match our armor colors?

Caboose; NO TUCKER, gosh, it’s more complex than that! I’m like blueberry and banana and coconut, and YOU are mint with dark chocolate and strawberry... which is gross, but you like strawberries, so that suits you

Tucker; Ohhhh... you’re like, describing what flavors our PERSONALITIES have. Like how our vibes would taste

Caboose; Obviously! Why, what did you think I was talking about?

Tucker; I don’t know man, I just know I was talking about PHYSICAL tatse, like my actual body-

Caboose; EW. That’s gross. You’re gross, Tucker. Just like strawberries

Tucker; What do YOU know, you burn popcorn on purpose because you like crunching little charcoal chunks!

...

Tucker; OK, dang it, now I’m curious... what kind of flavor-vibes do the others have?

Caboose; Like who?

Tucker; Uh, start with the Reds?

Caboose; Well, Simmons is cinnamon, because that’s just his name, but he’s also cranberry and oranges

Tucker; Wait, Grif isn’t oranges?

Caboose; No, he’s just one orange, but his flavor is caramel and milk chocolate and peanutbutter. Donut is cherries and peach and vanilla. Sarge is also strawberry, plus raspberry and apples. Lopez is almonds and apricot and and vanilla

Tucker; That... wasn’t as weird as I thought it was gonna be. OK, now do Doc and Locus

Caboose; Doc is figs and ginger, but O’Malley is plums and hazelnuts. Locus is walnuts and pears and mint

Tucker; Alright, finish it up with the rest of our guys

Caboose; Wash is apples and maple and Vanilla. Carolina is lemon and mint and hazelnut. Kai is cherries and milk chocolate and and banana. Tex is dark chocolate and blackberries and pomegranate. Church is lemon and kiwi and mint and rosemary and almonds

Tucker; What the heck, why does Church get the most fancy flavor?

Caboose; Because he’s CHURCH!

#red vs blue #rvb

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dgknightblue · 6 months

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Where’s my fairytale grimmons?

My creatures and monsters?

My lonely horror writer x starving artist in a haunted mansion?

Okay so I have this weird idea.

These various slashers/ killers/ physopaths are at this camp and none of them know they are all the similar type of people.

Actually, they know because of an invitation to the camp. There’s a community for the slashers and physopaths via Addams family style.

Grif and Simmons still falls in love with each other.

Simmons is a bit insane, but he’s a little occupied with his crush to notice anything that he knows is what normal people don’t do.

Simmons is insane

Sarge is insane and a killer

Grif and Kai are slashers and insane (?)

Donut is insane

Caboose is a killer

I don’t actually know what I’d classify them.

I mean like movie slashers and butcherers and stuff. Like Sarge might be in a cabin in the woods type of slasher. Church is obviously cult with Tucker and Caboose.

HA Father Church and Priest Tucker with Helper/ choir boy Caboose!

Tex… hahahahaha Texas chainsaw massacre!

Kai and Grif are like family of slashers. Grif is more of the butcher or do things that help Kai that she can’t do.

Simmons lives in a castle in the woods of absolutely nowhere. He doesn’t really know much about social ques but he would love to connect with living people!

He might be a occultist too like his uncle Church, but he worships a different god. Church is a little pxssed his niece NEPHEW is here and disrespecting him, but he can’t complain because to be fair Simmons did write him a letter telling him he’s trans. He really should have checked his mailbox.

I don’t know to be honest, maybe he could be the only one that hasn’t committed a crime other than digging up graves and stealing.

Cannibalism and vampirism…. Oh! Yeah! Simmons vampirism he could be the type that steals blood bags or knocks someone out, cut them on the arm to drain them, take the blood, bandage them, leave them near hospitals or graveyards and have his glasses of bloods because he likes to be fancy.

Simmons is very rich and he’s living his fantasy in his old castle in the woods he inherited from his grandfather.

Also Simmons burned his childhood home down and let fate decide on if his abusive step dad survives. No one thought it was him, because he made it look like it was his step dad being careless with his cigars again and he was with his cousin when it happened.

Initially his step dad was going to live until someone (not Simmons actually) visited him in the hospital. Again Simmons wasn’t there, but this time he didn’t do anything.

I wonder who could have visited his step dad in the hospital in Ireland?

Is it A Church, who hasn’t seen Simmons since he was 16?

Is it B Tex, who hasn’t seen Simmons in five years?

Or is it C Carolina, who hasn’t seen Simmons since he was 12?

Who could have been in the neighborhood and decide to pay a visit? (Without ever meeting Simmons when that happened and just decided to finish him?)

Hm…. Wash had a break down maybe?

The freelancers…..

Sheila is Simmons’ childhood caretaker and Fliss’s younger twin sister. Lopez and his little brother is Sarge’s nephew’s that he’s cared for for a few years now. (Lopez is an adult and his little brother is maybe 14?)

Flowers, South, North, and the others I don’t know.

Scene:

Simmons walks into the camp grounds in black and maroon clothing and a big hat.

He’s barely there when he automatically gets caught up in Sarge shenanigans. Camp erupts into chaos. He meets Grif, who made him giggle. He gets embarrassed at being caught and looks a way (looking back several times as he blushed).

That’s when Church shouts the second he sees him. They get into an argument as Church didn’t want Simmons to be there (only remembering 16 year Simmons as the last time he saw him and what his ex did to him, who was never found).

Caboose interferes very confused and trying to help. Simmons smirks evilly.

“You must be Uncle’s best friend! I think I might have remembered him talking about you!”, he lies.

Caboose hugs Chruch and drags him away, Church cussing him out.

“Unintentional or not, that’s for deadnaming me Bxtch!”, he shouts.

Grif might have notice Simmons has a very cute face with very cute expressions.

Anyways, Simmons noticed he was assigned the wrong cabin. The cabins aren’t unisxx unless they are related.

He brings this up at the first meeting and the one in charge, VIC, tries to think of a solution.

Kai volunteers to trade places. It makes Grif mad and he gets into a small argument with Simmons. Both agreeing they are not going to be friends.

Stuff.

Won’t say much since I’m not sure how I want to handle this. Since they are all kind of twisted, a little twisted show of affection can be seen.

That said They are both totally into it. Into each other.

Of course injuries happen! It wouldn’t be a community with a dark sense of humor with out it!

I don’t think I’ll have that many die. Maybe a handful I wouldn’t know what to do with long term.

Like Wyoming, Flowers, Connecticut.

Maybe a few more and that’s it.

#red vs blue #rvb Simmons #rvb grif #grimmons #fanart #rvb church #rvb caboose #rvb Tucker #rvb Kai #rvb Tex #rvb sarge #rvb donut #au #fanfiction

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starstruck-owie · 6 months

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RvB Pets yap session

Alright so i've got a few of these down right. so this whole pet assigning thing started with me imagining sarge with a puppy, and naming that puppy warthog. ITS SO FUCKING UCTE urggg "get in the warthog" fucking dog trots over at the sound of his name "no! warthog stay! down boy." and then theres just a whole bit where hes tryna get warthog to back off or sum idk its silly. What breed of dog would this be though? See I was thinking toy poodle because while i feel like he wouldnt choose it, its cute as fuck so who gives a shit right? Bernese Mountain Dog. Think about it, I did. For a good like 10 minutes while leaving my friend on read because i was thinking so fucking hard. So we either have a toy poodle or bernese mountain dog and I cant get over it, the two are the most best guesses ive got. He walks into the shelter, donut or some1 bringing him there for wtv and he sees this tiny ass toy poodle chewing on a blue dog toy and boom, its his tactical toy poodle he has in his manly tactical purse. While bernese is like so insanely silly its great, the dog knocking sarge over in excitement and sarge trying to order him to attack grif but giving up with a nuetral grunt and saying. "maybe tmrw" or smth ITS SO FUCKING ISLLLY but also maybe beagle just trhowing that out theres would be so sfucking silly too OKAY and then after that we move on to donut right? i got this one almost immediately, parrot. no questions needed, parrot. I cant exactly see donut with parrot.

We get to grif right, Lizard. HEar me out, grif with a bearded dragon. not sure why not sure how but holy shit i fucking love it man.

Doc. See this ones a bit hrmmm not sure because it has to satisfy both doc and omalley and i for somereason think; golden retreiver. doc would have tried to suggest smaller dogs, hes likely looking for a dog ok to be like near people and maybe even like be atherapy dog and omalleys like fuck that these dogs r for pussies and then doc gets to golden retreiver and hes like, i mean sure and boom silly.

Simmons, bunny or guinea pig. feels right.

Tucker, like the legend this mother fucker is. has a snake, simmons kkeeps his distance as things have likely happened multiple times on purpose or not. chicks dig snakes. (im chicks(im a whole male))

caboose already had a pet. RIP.

Church honestly not sure with this dude, could also see him having a lizard or cat. confusing fella. OH MY GOD WAIT hedgehod im sorry it has to be done church with a hedgehog i need it.

Washington, cmon guys you see this shit coming. cat. obviously.

Now if lopez to able to have a pet, right? id like to think maybe a small dog, and he wouldnt out right look for it but he'd find it right, it would have 3 legs and probably be struggling a bit to get around and lopez would take him in and make like a little wheelchair thingy for the little dog and then they become best friends.

tex? not sure honestly, maybe she'd think having a pet is dumb? and i think carolina would just like not be into it really.

drgrey. lizard but not like bearded dragon but like maybe leopard gecko? or maybbe switch dr grey and grif? not sure im confused now but alright reptile awesome possum

Locus. Dove. Locus with a dove, hear me out. It was injured and he helped it out and now its his friend.

felix the bitch would have a snake not because they r evil or anything but felix thinks it makes him look badass, and it does.

give me more characters i want to do mor eof this NEOW

EDITT!!!

KAI TY TO WHOEVER SAID THIS honestly not sure for her hrmmm,, i feel like she'd have a parrot or a turt for some reason not exactly sure why but i do

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favvnsongs · 9 months

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@fischiee @khimkito

lmao im making a separate post rather than tacking it onto the orig bc I don't wanna flood notifications every time I have big feelings about this but. yeah???

literally everything about those two make me so unwell. I'm never not thinking about it. bc the whole. not just having to second hand (or.. third? alpha then epsilon Then wash).. okay so third, I guess. anyways. being essentially subject to the same sort of torture and psychological abuse that alpha was via epsilon? and that on top of the directors original distress over allison? epsilon trying to kill himself inside his head! what tf does that even. bc they really only sort of handwave talk about it. what in the fuck does it actually Mean for an ai implanted in your brain to try and kill itself. and having to keep all of it a secret. for months if not years. the not being able to tell anyone?

(there's a weird sort of somber acknowledgment and tender empathy when it comes to wash and alpha too. bc wash Knows. he knows all of it?? even if alpha doesnt? the distress and insistence and confusion and loss that comes with tex not being at valhalla? 'I know all about her, church' even if church doesnt! even if He doesn't remember, wash does? what a burden that must be. that wash was the last of the team to actually see and speak to and be with church before he and all of the other fragments were erased? what sort of! and there's no justice in it! he gets his ass thrown into prison and then he has to work with whatever tf is left of maine in the Maybe hopes of getting his slate wiped clean.)

the odd fucking bizarre. wash and lina and epsilon and tucker (and caboose but he's a whole other.. im not awake enough to be able to talk about my feelings when it comes to caboose lmao)

but wash was the last person to see alpha. and then epsilon comes back and has no idea who tf tucker is bc caboose just didn't feel the need to. like? in a weird ass roundabout way, wash killed alpha and epsilon got cozy and familial with lina and both wash and tucker are left sorta stranded lmfao.

(and the behind the scenes lina&epsilon dynamic too. we really don't get to see the process of them becoming actually super fond and siblingy with one another but they are?? they went on a quest so lina could kill the director but nope leonard is just a lost defeated broken hearted wreck and that's her Father, at that point. pathetic and hopeless and so so tired. the grief and resignation and acceptance in leaving him to kill himself. epsilon and his bewildered righteous rage. they had that one chat about allison at the end of s10 but obviously there must have been more bc epsilon mentions allison a few times throughout chorus! do they talk about their feelings? does carolina ever get to properly acknowledge and process all her grief?)

like carolina is So Close to epsilon and that has to be so.. disconcerting at times for wash. bc he tried to kill himself while fucking! implanted into his brain! (and ive always figured that there's things wash must Know about carolina and all of her family drama. just as product of epsilon being alpha being leonard. yknow? but it'd also stand to assume that epsilon (and lina, maybe)) Know Things about wash. what sort of secrets do they keep for the sake of maintaining that illusion of privacy and boundaries.

I have stuff to say about tucker too but that might need to wait until after I have a sleep bc asdfghjkl.

#LIKE I CANT NOT BE EMO ABOUT IT #literally all i want from the final season is some acknowledgment or whatever. because they are all so painfully and irreversibly entangled #with one another and the sheer crushing codependence it Ruins Me #rvb nonsense

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texas-hates-taxes-too · 1 year

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RvB characters and what taylor swift albums I think they'd like

I know people generally don't like TS but I dont care anymore 😭

Carolina: I just really think she would be a Folklore girlie. Although she doesn't quite relate to it, there's something about Seven that makes her want to cry. She listens to Mad Woman on repeat but her actual favourite is Hoax

Church: pretends his favourite is Reputation but really it is Midnights. He's also quite partial to Debut. Favourite song is Karma. He gets really annoyed when he hears people dissing Dear Reader but refuses to say anything.

Wash: everyone expects Wash to like Reputation, but his actual favourite is Speak Now. He has good taste, Speak Now has no skips. His favourite is Better Than Revenge, but he also really likes Innocent

Sarge: OBVIOUSLY his favourite album is Red. He refuses to listen to anything else. The only song from another album he has heard is Maroon and only bc Simmons literally begged him to listen to it

Simmons: 100% evermore fan. He tried to get into folklore too but just wasn't as into it. Favourite song is Tolerate It. No Body, No Crime is also a guilty pleasure

Grif: 1989!! Also really likes Folklore and it lowkey bothers Simmons bc occasionally grif will offhandedly mention the Themes™ and Simmons hates that Grif knows more about something than him. Grifs favorite song is Out of the Woods

Donut: everyone expects his favourite to be Lover but HE is the real reputation girlie. He does love Lover too though. He can't choose a favourite song bc he loves them all equally but maybe if he had to choose? Don't Blame Me

Caboose: Lover boy <3 He isn't actually very good at knowing what album each song is from so if asked he'll just say he likes all of them. It just happens to work out that the ones he listens to the most are Lover songs. His favourite is Its Nice to Have a Friend

Lopez: Debut. No explanation he just likes that one.

Doc: incapable of picking a favourite, he loves all the albums the same

Tex: she never listened to any of the albums after Debut and Fearless. Favourite song is Picture to Burn. She refuses to sing the updated lyrics

Tucker: I almost forgot him. He says he doesn't like any of the albums but really it's bc he's the biggest fan out of all of them and he doesn't want to accidentally admit this so he just pretends to not know any of the songs. Slipped up one time when when carolina caught him humming The Lakes

#rvb #red vs blue #taylor swift #Felix listens to the stolen version of Red and all 27 Anti-Hero remixes

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dragongirldg · 8 months

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I’m going to have a kind of drawing contest. I will have two versions of Simmons. Simmons from Basic (the beginning of Basic) and Simmons after the Show.

My version of Simmons is that he gets his top surgery from Sarge so I will technically have two versions of Basic Simmons with and without his binder because he can’t wear that all the time. It would hurt.

Obviously we will only really look at basic Simmons (with binder) and After Show Simmons (post Op swag).

Basic Simmons without his binder will show what (my) OG Simmons looks like completely natural.

He’s going to have a lot of my headcanons in the pictures :3

Some of that is identity theft (with consent).

Anyways, on to the contest :3

All contestants will draw their version of pure basic Simmons and After Show Simmons. I will then make a poll and have others vote for the winner.

The entry for the contest will last until I get at least three to four contestants. If it’s more than four that enter, I doubt it, I will cut it off at eight. I doubt I’ll get two but one can dream!

The winner of the contest will get a fic that will either be in the style of Dairy entries/ video calls/ Caboose as the Narrator/ Letters (pick one).

The winner will get to choose who will be interacting with Simmons and if there are any passing mentions.

Don’t draw my version of Simmons, draw yours.

The number of chapters of it’s not a one shot will depend on how invested I get into writing it. It might not be complete by the end of my self appointed time limit once there is a winner.

Details:

The prize is the choice of Style/ Theme/ Characters of a story.

Example. Love letters/ Villain AU/ Grif, Locus, Church

Example. Dairy entries/ Flower Shop/ Tucker, Tex, Washington, Donut, Kai

Example. Video calls/ Time travel/ Caboose, Carolina

How to enter:

Comment on this post a number (written out) from one to four and saying that you are entering.

Example. I am number One!

Example. I’d like to be Three.

Example. I’m entering the contest and I’m number four.

As soon as I get the pictures done, I’ll tag all contestants.

Edit:

I lied there are several versions I’ve made of the same picture.

Blah blah blah basically you get a fic if you win the poll against like four more people.

Blah blah blah comment the number you are in entering.

#fanart #cute #au #red vs blue #rvb Simmons #Simmons #contest #rvb contest #polls #poll

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qcellbit · 10 months

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First time rvb made you cry? Mine was "I forget you tex"

GOD thats the big one for most people isnt it.....for some reason the only part that ever brings me to actual tears is the confrontation with the director at the end of season 10. obviously i hate the director but i think what gets me is the helpless mentally ill father aspect like this is a man who you want to hate but cant and youre just seeing him tear himself apart and its killinggg you. what im saying is i understand carolina so bad. "you were my greatest creation" LIKE OKAY ? fyck that guy

#sorru for having father issues it makes viewing rvb a nightmare #ask #trans-gander #mine #rvb spoilers #<- ?

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bloodgulchblog · 1 year

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I guess I'm talking about RvB thoughts today so I'm gonna pull some various onions out of the barrel, if they don't match yours that's fine I don't mean anything by it

(Lot of negativity in here):

Freelancer flashbacks sucked and made the show worse, PFL worked better unseen. If they wanted to do that, it needed to be good. I've watched fans do a lot of rehab for this time period/the characters from it and sometimes that's pretty good, but it's. They're not good storytelling, guys. It's not coherent. Nothing makes sense. Yes everyone was very impressed by the animation, but it's bad.

Freelancer flashbacks were only dethroned as the worst part of the show for me by how bad Season 16 was.

The Director: super uninteresting character, do not care about him, goodnight.

The AI stuff never comes close to delivering on what it could have, it pokes the edges of some cool ideas but nothing it does is groundbreaking at all. I know we crave this mineral but that just means needing to find decent scifi.

Tex: I enjoyed the character a lot more as a delightfully amoral dirtbag woman with a profit motive. The freelancer seasons tying her up in the Director and making so much of that character about Church and Church's manpain and Church's inability to move on pissed me off, and I'm still bitter about it.

I think a lot about how bad off Carolina was during the years we didn't see. (I love her???)

While everyone was clamoring for Grif/Simmons to be made onscreen canon I was sitting back in my rocking chair like guys... do you seriously want to see Red vs Blue attempt to tackle gay romance in any way... It's an obviously true ship but do you really actually for real want to see what would come out of that oven and think it wouldn't suck....?

Season 17 did so much to apologize for Donut's handling over the course of the whole show and was really interesting for him, but a good apology doesn't make the original bullshit not exist.

I hated Tucker for a really really long time, it pretty much took me up through Chorus to start to like him, and then 15 and 16 completely walked back a bunch of character growth and I wanted to scream.

My least popular RvB opinion of them all, probably, is: I never shipped Tucker/Wash and I never will.

#rvb tag

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irradiatedsnakes · 2 years

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ok i think this ties into rvb’s general treatment/opinion of women but imo the canonical romantic relationships in this show are soooooooo..unconvincing. like, idk. church and tex obviously have a. Tumultuous thing but it’s like, it doesn’t seem like they enjoy each other’s company at all, and i can’t really imagine them ever having done so. and like- ok, having a hard time phrasing this, but obviously the two of them were never meant to have a Healthy or . Generally Positive relationship. but the fact that they just don’t get along i feel like cheapens the whole. Gigantic Plot About The Two Of Them spanning seasons 1 through 9. i have a lot of scattered thoughts on tex’s Entire Thing, and few of them are good. i’m still working my way through season 10, but. unsatisfying, i think is how i’d describe tex’s whole Thing.

and.. eh. eh. york and carolina. i never GOT their thing, i guess. i don’t feel like they had much chemistry. (and if you count ‘come on carolina’ as canon, What Can I Say But Yikes) it’s just. entirely uncompelling, it’s like they’re together just for the sake of having them be together. i dunno, i feel like the story would have been equally as interesting/compelling if they were friends, or if carolina’s trip down memory lane was focused on, like, the freelancer squad as a whole

#rvb

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clocks-are-round · 2 years

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random fic snippets

some will go into some of my works in progresses others may not have seen the light of day otherwise. this isn’t even remotely everything lol. most are from last fall or winter.

——

*after wyoming tells o’malley and gary that they were flirting on an open channel*

“no, o’malley, i’m not going to kill everyone here just because you’ve got a school crush.” Tex couldn’t hide the hint of amusement from her tone.

“it’s more than a— i mean— silence! all of you!”

“2… 1…”

“what’s that sound?”

KABOOM

(scrapped because i forgot wyoming was dead)

——

(meant to be part of the next fake psa)

carolina: being “chill” doesn’t mean putting up with abuse

sarge: what? nonsense! grif puts up with abuse all the time! exhibit a! *shoots grif*

grif: *yelps* godDAMMIT! I THOUGHT WE WERE DONE WITH THIS??

sarge: heheh. nope.

carolina: hm. he’s taking a lot of damage

sarge: between the armor and the blubber i might as well be shooting a nerf gun at him! They’re love taps!

grif: ow! fuck! owwwww *groans* more like airsoft

sarge: see? he says they’re soft!

simmons: uhhh yeah, please don’t try this at home, the gays on red team are just fucking indestructible

——

“Well, he wasn’t exactly nice, but… We were both lonely,” Doc said, rubbing his arm. “So in that way, it worked out. Even if we couldn’t stand each other a lot of the time.”

(caboose and doc bond over shared trauma on chorus fic. o’malley would probably be in it too, actually (factive not ai). i’ve got a bunch of snippet scattered in my notes for this one)

——

“Curiosity killed the c-word.” Caboose said, nodding.

Tucker blinked. “What?”

“Oh, it’s something my dad used to say. But people don’t really like when you say the last word, so I just say “the c-word”.”

“What are you talking about? Curiosity killed the cat.”

Caboose looked confused. Then stifled a laugh. “No, it’s a different c-word, Tucker.” He patted Tucker’s head.

“I know what the c-word is! You—“ Whatever. This wasn’t worth attempting to explain to him. Even if his pride was a little singed.

“That doesn’t even make sense. Why would you kill a cat? That would be awful!”

“Don’t you hate cats, though?”

“No, why would you think that?”

“Pretty sure you’ve said they make you angry.”

Caboose tilted his head, a few moments of rare silence. His face fell, “That’s a different thing.”

“Are you gonna explain, or…?”

Caboose shook his head. “It makes me upset. I don’t like feeling angry. I know it helps sometimes, but…” He fiddled with, “I don’t like it.”

“What, you can’t even give me the sparknotes?”

Caboose shook his head vigorously, his curls racing to catch up.

“Dude, you just made me more curious! I gotta know!”

Caboose usually let his words fall out like releasing an armful of bouncy balls. It was on a whim, kind of entertaining, and sometimes it was impossible to track it all. Now, he spoke slowly and carefully. “Some people do dumb things and innocent little guys get hurt.”

“What does shooting Church have to do with anything?” Tucker joked, hoping to brighten up the serious atmosphere.

Caboose didn’t respond and his eyes looked watery.

“

“Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“I said I didn’t want to think about it.”

(ohhh right. missing siblings was supposed to be the first chapter of a hurt/comfort tucker and caboose friendship fic post-o’malley. wow i had a lot more planned than i realized)

——

(WHAT. i forgot about this one, will definitely continue it. Carolina spends the day with the purple bois and they bond and pretty much over the course of the fic she goes from seeing neither of them to both of them <3 platonic heart not romantic. why doing seeing have so many freaking implications *shakes fist to sky dan vs style* english!)

“Well, Carolina, you’re probably wondering why we’ve called you here today.” O’Malley spun around on the swivel chair in an obviously premeditated pose.

Despite O’Malley being at the wheel, he. Weakness, she thought, before squirting the thoughts with a mental water gun. Bad. Old habits.

She didn’t know him nearly as well as the others— to be frank, she somehow forgot about his existence entirely— but he was about equally as harmless and insane as all the others. With the added bonus of twice the personality to get to know. The oddest part about that, from what she’d gathered, is that O’Malley was based on Omega, Tex’s AI. Even now, remnants of her father’s ever reaching bullshit popped up.

…

“I— If we could avoid existential crises that would be very good, thank you. I have enlisted your help for the purposes of evilll.” He tapped his fingers together like a cartoony villain.

“It’s really nothing serious or concerning at all,” Doc assured her eyebrow raise.

“Yes,” O’Malley cackled, “Just a bit of lighthearted evil. For old times sake.”

…

“Yes, well—“ O’Malley crossed his arms, “your involvement was heavily debated.”

Doc shrugged a shoulder. “You can be sort of a… buzzkill.”

“What?? Me, a buzzkill? I only intervene when you idiots are about to get yourselves killed. Sometimes not even then,” she muttered, “It’s inhuman how resilient you all are.”

“You tend to focus a lot on the competition part instead of the fun part.”

“I find competition extremely fun.”

…

“Uhh, I am chiller than I’ve ever been in my life. What’s the mission?”

“Yes, well— it is very evil—“

…

“—but not so

“You have no idea.”

“Er, no.” O’Malley admitted. “We’re drawing a creative blank, it seems.”

“We could—“ Doc began.

“No, you fool! That plan is pathetic and I’m embarrassed to share a brain with you.”

“Well, fine then. Jeez.”

——

(i remember at the time i was reminded of my least favorite part of the chorus arc and someone had said something about dr grey should face consequences for that and at bare minimum give a genuine apology)

“She chased me saying she wanted to try shock treatments and possibly lobotomy if that didn’t work.”

“It was a joke?” Dr Grey offered.

“I don’t feel comfortable being in the same room as her.”

“No one does,” Kimball muttered.

“Ok, so my bedside manner wasn’t the best. It never has been, but I’m the best— and this isn’t narcissism, it’s honest to god fact— I am the BEST doctor on Chorus. You can’t fire me over ONE complaint just because he’s vaguely associated with the heroes.”

“Two complaints,” O’Malley mumbled.

“And, hey! Wait! We helped save Chorus too! We were up in the space ship! And he helped fight Felix!”

“I did most of the work.”

“Well,” Kimball considered. “How about this. Dr. Grey, you can take the next few days off spending time with him— them?— and maybe get your head out of fiction and thrillers. Spend some time seeing them as an actual person. People?”

Doc stood. “Nope! No, fuck that! We’re not spending ANY time alone with her. Also, why do we have to be held responsible for her problems?”

“Yes, this is stupid!” O’Malley agreed, sitting down momentarily in order to also stand up in protest. “We just wanted to get her canned. Or sue her. Some sort of consequence for her gross misdemeanor.”

——

“Caboose, I am… eughh… I’m sorry for fucking your brain up so badly. If I could do it over I would at least consider physical torture instead. I was in hiding, but it could have been done under clothes where no one could see it.”

“Wow.” South stared.

“What do you want from me? To lie? I didn’t want to be recaptured by the project and the moron almost ratted me out on multiple occasions. I couldn’tve kept him quiet without torture.”

——

(context: takes place after the simmons’ mom visits iris fic i haven’t gotten around to posting)

“You know, I feel like I’ve really bonded with you girls. This has been fun. We should hang out again sometime. Or, just multiplayer together, that’s an option.”

Carolina stood, with a noticeable wobble. She outdrank them both, and by the look on her face regretted it. “Bathroom.” She said with a strained expression.

“That way, right, then left.”

Carolina stumbled off.

“And then there were two.” Kai waggled her eyebrows.

Imogen clung to her controller for dear life. “If I win this round, you have to stop flirting with me. Nothing flirtatious again.”

“That’s a pretty big demand. You’re my favorite billionaire milf. What do I get if I win?”

What was a big thing? It needed to be worth at least as much. “You will be my next of kin.” Pshh, she wasn’t going to lose.

(If Imogen won, Kai had to promise to never flirt with her again. Imogen bet successorship. Kai unplugged her controller and Imogen didn’t notice. She uh, she didn’t think she was being serious. Kai thought it was a joke document)

(how kai inherited a multibillion dollar company)

——

(ok so apparently there was supposed to be significantly more to the missing siblings fic. huh.)

“Hey, Church,” Tucker shouted, “get your butt in here!”

After a minute Church peeked in the doorway. “What do you want?”

“Caboose can’t remember one of his siblings and is freaking out.”

Church paused. “And what does that have to do with me?”

“I thought, you know, one person with brain damage to another.”

“I don’t have—“ Church snapped defensively. “I just… I had some trouble remembering things after the accident. It was temporary.”

“What happened?” Caboose asked.

Church stammered and cleared his throat. “The reason doesn’t matter.”

Tucker hid a smile. Cappy said he’d slipped on the floor and hit his head. Church was kind of embarrassed about it. Kind of an underwhelming wartime injury. He really wanted to give him shit, but if he did Church wouldn’t help him with Caboose. “He hit his head pretty hard when he got to Blue Base.”

“Ah, yeah.” Caboose nodded. “I hate when that happens.”

“What do you want me say?”

“I dunno, my brain’s fine. I was hoping you’d know what to say.”

“Fuck you. Uhh…” Church tapped his foot. “Ok, uh, sometimes bad shit happens and you can’t do anything about it. Sometimes people get hurt. Sometimes people die. Sometimes your girlfriend ditches you without any warning. That’s life. It fucking sucks. I definitely miss my body sometimes. It felt… like somebody died that day.”

“That’s because you did Church.”

“Yeah, I know, but like in a more

…

“You still are not very good at pep talks.”

“It’s not a pep talk it’s a reality check. This is your life now, so you just gotta deal with it.”

——

o’malley be like hmm maybe i shouldn’t set the bunker i’m hiding out in on fire… while i’m inside of it. after striking a match and not remembering where he left it

i’ll leave it at that haha. shared a lot more than planned. and still have lots more unshared

#rvb #fic snippet

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