#and more characters with both adhd and autism that swing between these traits

[spectruminterests]

“The Lives in Time of Katherine Kaye”

A silly story about my silly OCs! (But there is also Drama and Angst!) I’m posting this in case anyone has heard something about my soulless mad scientist and her chaos-gremlin younger self and wants to know more, or just for anyone who may happen to be interested lol.

This is kinda a draft/summary of the story so far and as such, it’s a mess, but it’s still very long so I’ve put it under a readmore! (TW for (fictional/fantastical) medical stuff, medical procedures without consent, self-harm, internalized ableism of the anti-neurodivergent variety, identity confusion, and child harm/endangerment)

Some characters and a little worldbuilding, before the story gets started:

Beastfolk/Auracai (a weird fantasy race I made up that’s kind of like elves crossed with catpeople):

Beastfolk age at about half the rate of humans and look like normal humans, but with semi-retractable claws, thin catlike tails, red eyes, and sharpened canines.

“Beastfolk” is what humans call them, referencing their “animal” traits. They call themselves Auracai (this is both singular and plural)

They’re originally from another dimension that contacts the human world (the main story’s world) only occasionally - essentially rare but not unheard of immigrants in this world. 

Sometimes people end up in the wrong world by accident, without a way to get home, as travel between worlds is more “randomly/accidentally slipping through the cracks” than intentional, reliable travel.

Beastfolk can sense souls when in direct contact with someone, humans can’t. 

Katherine Kaye (the main character/characters)

2 versions of her in the story, the emotionless mad scientist adult and the adolescent little chaos gremlin

Auracai/Beastfolk

Has Autism + ADHD + Anxiety

has a much older brother, Theodore, who’s been taking care of them since they ended up in the human world together

KT (the adolescent chaos gremlin version of Katherine)

28 (equivalent of 14)

Mischievous streak

A prankster

Really intense emotions, prone to overreacting

Senior in high school because of weird aging

Amateur singer/songwriter/musician and this is a major part of her personality

goes by KT because “it’s like ‘Katie,’ but cooler!”

Both a STEM nerd and an artist

Dreams of having an impact on the world, both of changing things for the better and of being cool and famous

Self-perception swings with her moods: often confident to the point of arrogance or overconfidence, but during a breakdown she’s full of self-loathing and shame.

Wants to travel, explore, and live a somewhat adventurous life; an ordinary office job would never satisfy her. Boring AF and a total waste of her potential.

Pigtails/twin tails

Likes to act cute to get what she wants

Dr. Kaye (the soulless mad scientist/adult version of Katherine)

Removed her own soul (heart/emotions/creativity/etc.) in an experimental process, which she tested on herself in a frustrated attempt to prove herself and to stop having such intense mood swings + be more productive and “better” without her emotional overreactions.

Ended up getting stuck in the past because she was researching interdimensional travel in an attempt to find a reliable way to get back and forth between the human world and the Auracai world (in this story time travel creates a new timeline/slightly different reality)

creepy ever-present smile (this was a form of masking and a coping mechanism, and remains a habit)

egotistical and doesn’t really realize the extent of it: she thinks that without a soul she’s become perfectly logical and efficient and immune to emotional biases. (This is revealed to be untrue when she has to reevaluate the idea that her current “emotionless” state is an improvement.)

now has really limited emotional range and is coldly logical most of the time

still has a few common emotional states though: excited/passionate/enthusiastic about her work, frustrated/annoyed/exasperated with people who are “not smart enough to see her vision” or “keep getting in the way,” amused at others’ incompetence or at messing with people, and a state of discomfort/guilt/concern about what she’s lost and what things have come to that is usually easily repressed and ignored, triggered by reminders of who she used to be

Really any emotion she feels is almost always mild enough to easily ignore.

Started promoting her soul-removal procedure as a “therapy” for anxiety, depression, various other mood disorders and emotional issues, and autism-related intense mood swings.

tends to dismiss other people as running on “mere irrational emotion”

Age: ~80s (early 40s) (She basically has a midlife crisis after getting stuck in the past lol)

she doesn’t tend to go by her first name and absolutely refuses to answer to the nickname “KT,” even from Ted.

almost completely lost her creative, playful side. No interest in anything artistic, including the music she used to love. “Fun” is not only unnecessary, but largely impossible for her, and anything involving conveying or coping with emotions? Forget it.

KT’s brother/guardian: Theodore Kaye

Perpetually exhausted, at the end of his rope

Nicknamed Ted, rarely goes by his full name Theodore

~ 50 (equivalent of 25)

Responsible because he has to be

Introverted

Low energy

Autistic (I love giving everyone the ‘tism lol)

Loyal to his sister, has a special connection with the one person who was there for him both before and after getting stuck in a different world

The story so far:

KT sees something about Dr. Kaye in the news and it mentions that she’s Beastfolk, which makes KT think that maybe she and Ted have a relative they didn’t know about. So KT goes on a bit of a wild goose chase trying to contact this person who might just be someone who happens to have the same last name. They meet, and Dr. Kaye explains the time stuff. Ted is looking for help and Dr. Kaye is like “oh yeah should probably do that, younger me will probably be a great collaborator when she’s a little older.” Ted gets the feeling that something is off about Dr. Kaye, but kinda doesn’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth. Clearly, this is his sister, or a version of her anyway, and although KT is a prankster, she’s a good kid. It’d totally be fine to trust her with… herself. Right? Right?

Time passes, Dr. Kaye recommends KT books, KT gets increasingly curious about Dr. Kaye’s weirder habits. She plays pranks on her, thinking her future self will laugh. She’d laugh. Dr. Kaye pretends to be amused the first time, then doesn’t react at all. She doesn’t react to a lot of things, actually, seeming to have no interest in much of anything, not caring about the things KT has liked her entire life. Something must have happened to her in the future that she refuses to discuss in order to create this weird disconnect, right? 

Meanwhile this entire time Dr. Kaye has just been… watching KT be herself, which causes her a slight, odd feeling of discomfort that she can’t seem to explain. 

Beastfolk, unlike humans, can sense someone’s soul when in direct contact with them. Dr. Kaye is careful to avoid touching people and not make it weird, a habit she formed before getting stuck in the past in order to avoid making other Beastfolk uncomfortable with her soullessness, and has become more important now that she’s stuck in the past and is attempting to hide her lack of a soul.  She also usually locks her bedroom door at night, but one night the door is accidentally left unlocked, and KT notices and tries to play a prank by putting a fake bug in Dr. Kaye’s bed while she’s asleep. She touched Dr. Kaye by accident  - she didn’t really mean to violate her boundaries, but she made the necessary contact and what she sensed was terrifying. 

KT: *screams*

Kaye: *wakes up confused* what the hell are you doing???

KT: *too scared to react*

Kaye: I forgot to lock the door, didn’t I? And now you’re in my room staring at me like a deer in headlights. Just what do you think you’re doing?!? 

KT: I, uh, it was just a prank, I didn’t mean to wake you up, you- your soul…

Kaye: *finds the fake bug* you touched me, didn’t you, as you were messing around trying to plant this ridiculous plastic bug for me to find in the morning… and I suppose I should explain things now that the cat is out of the bag, shouldn’t I? 

She explains to KT about removing her soul and KT is horrified, but even more fascinated. She wants to know more, even though she also wants to run very fast in the opposite direction, and her other self is happy to explain.

KT: *holding Dr. Kaye’s hand, still fascinated by the strange emptiness inside of her* Does… does it hurt? Not having a soul, I mean…

Dr. Kaye: It doesn’t hurt anymore… but it did, at first. I won’t lie to you, removing it was… an extremely painful process. Of course, in most cases it’s done under anesthesia… though I obviously didn’t have that option. After the procedure, there’s definitely some pain, some lingering soreness, which is rather unresponsive to painkillers, but the worst of it fades naturally fairly quickly, and in a few weeks it’s entirely gone.  There’s also a certain sense of emptiness, afterwards… it feels like something is missing deep inside of you, which I suppose is true, but it’s a feeling I didn’t find it hard to get used to. That empty feeling never truly goes away, but it’s distressing at first mostly because it’s disconcerting, rather than being painful. It’s something I can sense even now, if I’m thinking about it, but I no longer find it bothersome, and I haven’t for a long time. 

KT: That… kinda makes sense? And you said you don’t really feel emotions anymore? 

Dr. Kaye: Yes, and that’s been an immense relief. No more anxiety, no more meltdowns. 

KT: … no more happiness, though? 

Dr. Kaye: I suppose you could say that… but I would say that might simply be the cost of being free of emotional bias. I do find I sometimes experience mild emotion-like states… I’ve found it unpleasant to be interrupted while I’m working, for example… but such experiences are transient and low in intensity, and as such they are easily dismissed. 

Dr. Kaye then explains her plans to republish her discoveries in this timeline and promote her soul-removal procedure as a “therapy” for a variety of emotional problems, as she did in her own time. KT, understandably, freaks out further. 

Meanwhile Ted starts realizing that something is deeply wrong with Dr. Kaye and wants his sister back. Eventually Dr. Kaye decides her kid self needs her “treatment” a little early because she keeps “being difficult,” as well as wanting to spare her younger self the suffering of having to live with her emotional overreactions. She tries to figure out the best way to present this to KT so she’ll agree to undergo the procedure willingly, but also prepares to do it by force if necessary, convinced that she knows what’s best for them. KT asks Dr. Kaye about her regrets, which with everything makes the repressed issues come back to the forefront. As she tries to say she regrets nothing and to ask KT to follow in her footsteps, these words somehow seem like a lie. KT is horrified, but her screaming and freaking out just solidifies in Dr. Kaye’s mind that she’s overreacting. She lets KT wear out her panic until she breaks down in despairing tears and states that if KT doesn’t stop resisting, she will force her. 

“KT, listen to me. I’m you. I know what’s best for us. This is for your own good. Now, you can be good and listen to reason, or you can keep fighting and I will have to forcibly sedate you. Either way, when you wake up you won’t have to be sad and scared like this ever again. The pain you might feel now will be nothing compared to all the suffering I’m sparing you.” “W… will… I’m never going play pranks or sing or play music or draw or play pretend ever again will I… but I guess I have to grow up and give that stupid stuff up anyway… I… I have to grow up faster like you and stop that nonsense…”

Dr. Kaye realizes in that moment that she hasn’t done a single creative thing, hasn’t hummed a tune, doodled in the margins of a notebook, made up stories to fall asleep to, anything, since the day she cut out her soul. Is that worthless, or is that something she’s subconsciously missed for a very long time? She remembers that cutting out her own soul was originally an act of desperation and self-hate. She reconsiders everything.

 Meanwhile KT is escaping. She runs home to Ted and cries in his arms. Dr. Kaye realizes that she doesn’t actually want KT to end up like her, and tries to apologize for everything, but is pushed away by Ted. Not wanting to waste this chance to tell her past self what she wishes she’d known, she disappears, but begins to write a diary/memoir of all the regrets she’d never let herself “waste time” dwelling on and all the useful life things she knows from experience that were hard or impossible to find in books. She leaves it for KT one day, around the time of KT’s high school graduation, and KT reads it and tries to find her again. Despite Ted’s deep distrust of Dr. Kaye, they reconnect, originally through email because Ted understandably doesn’t want Dr. Kaye anywhere near his sister. KT really wants to apprentice under Dr. Kaye, as working and training under an experienced mentor is common practice for young people in the Auracai world, and she argues with Ted about it. 

“I thought you really wanted to go to a human university? Wasn’t that your big dream?” “Well kinda, but that was before I met Dr. Kaye! She’d be the perfect mentor because she’s doing so many things and they’re all the things I’m interested in!!!” “Are you completely forgetting that she tried to take your soul?!?? As far as I’m concerned, she’s unstable and dangerous.” “Okay yeah maybe she’s a little unstable but she wouldn’t be dangerous at all to me, she didn’t take my soul because she actually listens to me, remember?” “Katherine. Stop for a moment and listen to yourself. I can’t believe this is a conversation we even need to have.” “I’m trying to listen to myself, that’s kinda the whole point! ;) Someone keeps saying it’s a bad idea!” (KT doesn’t consider herself and Dr. Kaye to be fully one and the same the way Dr. Kaye does, but the joke was far too good for KT to pass up.) “You know what I meant, and it did not involve the potential future you that’s a soulless lunatic!” 

Dr. Kaye starts asking KT for advice on moral and emotional matters, and KT feels needed. Ted begins to relax a little, though he still really doesn’t trust her. Dr. Kaye invites KT to join her on some kind of research trip, and KT sneaks away to do so against Ted’s orders. He is livid with her… but it is a little reassuring that she’s quite unharmed and had a good time. Eventually Ted’s attitude of “I am not letting you walk to your death” softens into “I’m not sure if I can stop you, and it’s really on you if you get hurt after I tried to stop you, but please text me every night with an update on your latest song or art project or whatever or just something about your day, something that’s you, so I know you’re okay.” So KT gets her apprenticeship, and the Katherines end up forming a sort of symbiotic relationship, with Dr. Kaye acting as a mentor, guardian, and voice of reason to KT, and KT acting as Dr. Kaye’s heart and soul and conscience. Dr. Kaye is still soulless but is starting to come to terms with it now… not exactly “okay” but no longer ignoring that there was a loss and more willing to listen to others or at least to her kid self. Although she also likes to say that if she regained her former emotional range now, she’d probably have a heart attack… especially when KT is causing trouble.

#tltkk #my oc #ocs #katlyn post #tw self harm #tw ableism #tw internalized ableism #tw medical #tw mental health #identity confusion #tw mental illness #katlyn writes nonsense

[residentofthedisc]

Very, Very Personal (and a Little Projecting) Headcanon

Ray Doyle from The Professionals is neurodivergent. 

Specifically, I’m gonna argue that the closest condition would probably be undiagnosed ADHD. 

(Also Bodie could be also ND because there’s an entire episode surrounding Bodie’s apparent PTSD which is never brought up again because of course) 

OK. Hear me out. 

- Depression.

Doyle exhibits depressive traits within the canon of the show. The Rack is probably the clearest example: he loses interest in his hobbies (i.e. not working out, his bikes, etc.), exhibits extreme guilt and self-deprecating (self-destructive) behaviours, and pulls away from support networks. In Discovered in a Graveyard, his tendencies to overthink and blame himself are well enough known by his coworkers that they question whether he’s going to fight for his own survival (and there’s an interesting little off-hand comment that Doyle ‘forgot’ to set his locks, so possibly more self-destructive behaviour) and worry about it. So, essentially, him being ND isn’t necessarily a huge stretch of logic? I mean, he could have bouts of depression and depression is a common comorbidity for people with ADHD. 

- Mood swings and extreme emotions. 

Doyle seems to fluctuate wildly between some fairly extreme moods. He’s described within the fandom itself as being mercurial. He flips a switch from utter joy to quick rage to broody self-reflection in minutes.  Now, this could indicate bipolar disorder or ADHD but as his moods have clearly defined triggers, I’d lean towards ADHD. 

- Intense emotions and moral codes. 

Doyle is described as being hot-headed and passionate and sensitive. He wears his heart on his sleeve and has a remarkably strict moral code for the job that he does. He has a real sense of right and wrong as well as an intensity of feelings to match. On it’s own, this doesn’t really mean he’s ND, but along with the other traits, it could be autism or - again - ADHD. 

- Impulsivity and reckless behaviour. 

Doyle is reckless. End of. OK, nope, let’s elaborate. 

Doyle is constantly putting himself in danger by running straight into situations without thinking. He forgets to call in if he’s found something, he speaks without thinking, and elements of his backstory could be indicative of this being a life-long trait. His ‘I cut up another kid when I was just a kid myself’ story and stories about causing trouble don’t mean that kids with ADHD are naturally violent, but that constant impulsivity and (due to other ADHD factors) difficulty in structured environments can land them in hot water. I can’t imagine a 1950s-ish school in Derby or probably Birmingham the unspecified city he grew up in would have the resources or understanding of his condition and that may have pushed him into crime and juvenile mishaps. He does point out that he joined the police to put him on the straight and narrow - perhaps showing that he needs external structure to be imposed on him to feel he’s functioning properly. 

- Hyperactivity/attention span. 

So, I’m not sure if Doyle could be considered hyperactive in the traditional sense. He is not jumping around all the time or constantly moving exactly, but I think there’s still an argument here. Whenever Doyle is waiting for something, he seems to be constantly fiddling with things; brain puzzles, reading, his own clothes, etc. All of these could be an ‘acceptable’ form of stimming he’s developed, but he does seem to have more energy than Bodie, but Bodie could just be messing him about. Similarly, the moments he’s focusing, he can be focusing intensely enough that Bodie has to repeat - possible hyperfocus? This section is probably the biggest reach. 

- Random traits because my own ADHD has completely bored me out of continuing nicely. 

* Sensory Processing Issues: very uncomfortable in suits and ties, has very specific styles and clothing materials he appears to like. Wears sunglasses a lot so possible photosensitivity (but also is likely just wanting to look cool). 

* Special interests: He seems to get quite obsessed with certain things, particularly cases and keeps picking at them even when they seem solved. (I think) Bodie occasionally mentions him ‘still going on’ about things, unrelated to the story. 

* Social difficulties: Doyle is not smooth, especially with romance. Honestly, he actually gets turned down by women more than I expected with characters like this. 

* Masking: Doyle is canonically good at undercover. Not unbelievable with being in the police, but what if he learnt this first masking his neurodiversity? 

* His long term memory is excellent. 

OK, so, long post and I am absolutely projecting because it would be really nice for my teenage hero to be both queer and neurodivergent like me, but I do think that it wouldn’t take a lot of twisting for Doyle to be diagnosed with ADHD. 

#the professionals #ray doyle #headcanon #actuallyadhd #adhd headcanon #martin shaw #long post #au

[dipplie]

Temporary list of my stories and OC’s until one day I make a comprehensive and well made list:

Blinded:

Polli: My oldest OC and fun fact was my persona till she become edgy and I wasn’t 12 anymore. Everyone’s favorite yes yes I’m aware. Yellow, energetic, eats dirt and bugs, I can’t tell if she’s evil because of a wisp possession or just crazy. Breaks the 4th wall. Is she a Mary Sue???????? Who knows.

Melody: NOT Polli’s girlfriend despite Polli’s delousions. Has an abusive mom :(. Only has one eye and then no eyes and then robot eyes or smthn idk she becomes a badass when she gets older. But otherwise trembling in her shoes all the time.

Melodys Mom/Sharren: Bitch. Okay well all I’ll say is she’s old and grumpy and probably smells bad.

Louise: Total hotty, rich kid, FtM, got bullied as a kid for his weight. Had a squad of fans basically in high school. Lived with his mom after his parents got a divorce but his mom was semi abusive, projected her femininity onto him, and wouldn’t have been supportive of his transition, so between middle and high school he went to live with his dad and got his sex change and testosterone. His best friend in elementary and middle school stopped talking to him after his transition, and became his competition for the most attractive and sought after boy in school (except Louise is a sweetheart while his friend Tommy is a dick and really gross) His dad runs a company that specializes in technology, and after meeting and falling in love with Melody (even after all her abusive trauma and losing both her eyes) he has his dad and some of the developers create a way to get her vision back and I mean honestly I love him how could you not love him he’s so perfect.

Watching:

Fick: Big nerd boy with thick glasses. I feel like he’d use Reddit but don’t quote me on that. Big crush on Vivinya. Boy don’t wander into the woods- oh look dead body with a curse on it don’t touch it- aaaand now he has a wisp that makes him kill people, way to go kid. Panic attack central.

Vivinya: True crime girl, yucky yucky. Probably had a knife collection. “uwu I’m insane” except she actually is and starts using Fick to kill people for her and treats him like her “Yandere boyfriend” or something cringe and gross oh god. She deserves jail. JAIL. Needs to learn guys need to give consent too. Just overall sucks 1/10.

Tommy: I mentioned him early to be Louises ex best friend and rival. He used to have a crush on Louise actually but that don’t excuse being a BITCH!!!! Also needs to learn people gotta give consent he is just as gross as Vivinya. Cheats on all the girls he gets with because he’s again, a bitch. Idk if he deserved to get murdered though I mean he was still a teenager but it’s fine. Thinks of the song Seventeen from Heathers actually this story does feel a tad reminiscent of heathers with vivinya being a crazy and wanting to off a bunch of students. Huh.

Suzannie: Tommy’s older sister who’s a detective. What a coincidence. Monotone and depressed. Probably because her little brother got murdered. Gets real awkward when she’s talking about her brothers murder(s) to Fick and Vivinya like “when I find who did this to him they’ll regret being born”. Kind of really pretty actually.

Adolescents (there isn’t actually a story here yet but don’t worry about it shhhh):

Nelson: HIMBO HIMBO H- Jock stupid idiot big dork god he’s so awkward and his main personality trait is having a crush on Naomi and being a dork when talking to her. Probably could benchpress you.

Naomi: Gamer or something and a nerd geek. Her main personality trait is having a crush on Nelson and also being a dork when talking to him. Probably a weeb and fandom dweller. Can’t draw but she commissions artists to draw. She does write copious amounts of fanfiction though.

Andrés: Ohhh the school bad boy babyyyy. Baseball bat with nails in it or something. There’s like... A thing between him in Charlotte and he wants to be a thing but she’s being difficult and makes it hard to talk to her or about her and ugh.

Charlotte: Princess, high school princess. She’s actually pretty nice when you get to know her- but she’s a diva. Ballerina after school. Best friends with Naomi and doesn’t know what she’s talking about when she mentions ships or OTPs but she listens anyways because she’s a good friend. There’s like... A thing between her and Andrés but she doesn’t know if she’s super into him but geez he’s really hot but she gets such mixed responses when she asks her friends about it and what if it doesn’t work outttt.

Marlon: They/Them but they’re okay with either pronouns they aren’t sure yet, he or she is okay... Box boy box boy. Autism... He doesn’t want to admit He’s attracted to men but he’s totally attracted to men. He lives alone which is probably illegal for his age but somehow he manages. Everyone thinks he’s “the quiet kid” and he’s really sad about it no don’t make jokes like that please guys ahh-

Sing for Me:

Kat: The color pink, addahadda(adhd), angry and loud and short. For being only like 10 and being an adorable little lesbian dressing in sparkly pink dresses she actually likes screaming a lot and would totally sing heavy metal if her producers let her. Loud and mad but gets so soft around her girlfriend. “If anything happens to Brie I’m killing everyone in this room and then myself”.

Brie: French... Birds and stuff. Loves her girlfriend even though she is so loud. So fast. So much. Likes to write pretty things. Is only like an inch taller than Kat. Filled with so much love for everything.

Elliot: The girls manager. Lots of coffee. Stressed out of his MIND please help this man. Probably gay. Seems like a smug dick but he is just a tall and lanky dork that loves puppies and wants nothing more than for Kat and Brie to be happy. Accidentally brands them as sisters and then Kat kisses Brie and- oh fuck oh shit oh no what has he done. Hides the fan and non fan responses from them. Poor guy.

Horror Hosts:

Ichabod: Hot demon who’s the son of the current ruler of hell or something. I mean he’s hot, smart, and royalty, what more do you want. I very specifically hear the dub voice of Kyoya Ootori from OHHC as his voice don’t @ me. Goat legs????? Yeah??? Don’t be rude.

Barnabie: Ohhhhhhhhh big orc teddy bear I’m crying I love him????? He puts up a more confident ploy and the given stereotypical personality orcs supposedly have but he’s just a shy boy that wants to give girls flowers and call boys pretty. Help him.

Garrison: Gary Burger. Fat hairy gay man. I mean werewolf. Wouldn’t it be funny if I made the whole werewolf thing backwards and made him transform into a HUMAN only on the full moon??? Party animal, pun absolutely intended. LOUD AND FUNNY he’s a dork. Bites. Horny on main Garrison please you’re supposed pamper and flirt with the guests but not quite that much.

Vincenzo: Token Vampire but he’s Italian because I felt like it. Talk and lanky of course. Bitch face. Blood coffee? Yeah lots of coffee. Tired. Let him sleep in Ichabod. Steps on people. Can summon and reanimate corpses but has a bitter attitude towards them because they get annoyed with him as much as he gets annoyed with- everyone else. He does have a soft spot but idk where it is. When he’s talking to guests he’s more suave and sexy though.

Kai: Genderfluid haha get it because slime fluid-... I’ll stop. Probably objectively the hottest because they can look anyway they want and shift their vocals to sound like almost anything, also probably objectively the best in bed (if you’re okay with the texture of Jell-o) and honestly come on save some for the rest of us it’s not fair. This boy can SING oh my god seranade me and whisper in my ear baby. Spunky and sassy.

Hallvor: BABY OCTOPOD BOY OHHHHH I LOVE HIM HE’S SO SWEET AND IS AN ANGEL DARLING BOY SO EMBARRASSED SO SHY SOFTEST VOICE OHHH- ohhh nooo he’s got a knife ohhhhh Hallvor baby don’t be like that ohhhh... Used to work in hentai actually (I wonder why) but quit because of immoral practices and good for him we love that. Okay he’s not actually a yandere or whatever but he DEFINITELY wants to squeeze you a little too hard and has those crazy eyes.

Carla: Main character of this OHHC monster clone. She sucks I don’t like her because listen listen she kills monsters as a living and when she tries to kill our boys here, Ichabod catches her and goes “no” but then the rest (not knowing her murderous intent) fall in love with her and Ichabod is like: “shoot well I’ll keep you alive and around but I’m watching you” and blah blah romance and feelings and character development and wow she seems like she’s grown to care about them... So Ichabod removes a curse he put to prevent her from harming them or leaving... AND THEN SHE STABS THEM ALL IN THE BACK IM CRYING. I mean she might have an extra reason for needing to kill them but I haven’t decided if I want to actually put it in the story yet so.

Fingertips:

Maria/Marianna: Was this goth angry chick and the head of these losers but after a failed heist, fire, and being betrayed and dropped from a window on a 3rd or 4th story down into flames, and going to the hospital and changing her name, she changed totally and become a soft pretty girl... And then the next three boys went “HEY BOSS WE FOUND YOU” and she went “oh no” and now she’s just an anxious wreck like “no no no no no I don’t shoot people in the face anymore no no no no no” And has a fear of hands. Also was Diamontés best friend in primary school and yes all these characters went to the K-12 school all the other characters do/did. Pretty voice. The story is mostly about her being anxious around all the other characters because who was it that betrayed her and dropped her into the flames below? Find out next week on th-

Nikki: He’s that character that you see and immediately go “oh he’s gross and is angry and is a bitch” and you’re right he is and has a cockney accent and screams a lot and probably swings a knife around a lot, but he’s got a sweet interior (somewhere in there... somewhere) Screamo heavy metal. Him and the rest of these character briefly talked about having a band and then they didn’t and then at the end of the story they do and although he plays guitar mostly, if he does do lead vocals he screams a lot. Bitch.

Anthony: Pretty boy but like the “was in the army” pretty boy vibe. Probably played football in highschool. Pyromaniac. Punches Nikki a lot. Almost gives himbo vibes sometimes, almost. Kind of likes the old timey cozy aesthetic. Plays the piano sometimes but “oh I’m not very good at it” Plays extremely well

Diamonté: TALL. Purple goth boy aesthetic hellll yeahhhh. CRAZY EYES AND THEY SPEAK VOLUMES WATCH OUT. Drums. The scary kind of quiet because he just smiles at you. Crowbar. Okay but he’s actually really sweet though. Secretly loves watching Anthony and Nikki get into fights so that’s why he rarely puts a stop to it. I think he’s a sadist. Can be a gentle giant, but can also be a not so gentle giant. The only time he’s really talkative is after copious amounts of booze.

Unnamed/Undesigned 1: Literally a pimp and he’s pretty gross. Blonde hair and pink and white clothes.

Unnamed/Undesigned 2: Chick that likes to throw knives and be angry and threatens Marianna a lot but in a quiet and monotone way, Marianna is pretty scared and hopes that these are just shallow threats uhhhhh.

Unnamed/Undesigned 3: Sells guns (without a lisence of course) and wears a bandana over his face a lot. Tired. Grumpy.

Unnamed/Undesigned 4: Like Marianna, was cold hearted and cool but then got caught in the fire and got all soft. He only has one eyes but how sweet his eyepatch is a heart. Recoved along side Marianna and they are good friends good friends tha- wait Marianna are you going back with them oh god you can’t do that oh dear oh no oh-

(I don’t have a story or name for these two but they’re my comfort ship OC’s and my current hyper fixaction right now):

Rodriquéz: I literally designed him with almost all the traits I find attractive in a guy other than freckles so as you can imagine I find him super HOT. I also designed his personality on what I find attractive from a guy so as you can imagine I find him super GREAT. But anyways he’s grumpy and closed off and monotone and smug. I really could go on for hours about how I want him to step on me I’m so sorry guys. Both him and Samantha give the “21 and having immature fun” vibes. They’re a thing but they like going to bars together and splitting off and doing their own thing (or doing someone else’s thing if you get what I mean haHhahHhahGahGhaha-) But so help them if anyone doesn’t oblige by the “no” from one of these two, someone’s gonna get beat up.

Samantha: (She literally just my personality shhhhh don’t tell anyone it’s a secret) Bubbly, energetic, a little shy by extroverted, bombshell blonde or something? It took me way too much time and effort to design her but I’m really happy with how I finally designed her, I love her outfit. She could kick me in the face and I’d say thank you. Girly drinks at the bar. Got that trauma and anxiety™️ secretly though. Skips and jumps a lot. As I’m typing this I keep looking up at the drawing of her and more and more I would want her to also step on me.

(Space Story I don’t have a nice title for):

Unnamed/Undesigned 1: So... Funny story this story originally was with me and uh... My ex I guess... So I gotta replace the MC’s... Whoops ahaha... Awkward. But anyways the MC is a robot and a girl and is a slight tsundere or smthn.

Unamed/Undesigned 2: Has a space ship, works for this organization in space that protects the galaxy. Is cocky, lazy, sly, oblivious, and an idiot. The love interest- obviously. Probably accidentally committing space crimes. (Like space pirating hAHAHA-) Kind of cool when he wants to be.

Dandelion/Dandy: CAT. WITH A JET PACK. Kind of an asshole. Fun fact used to be Polli’s cat but then when the Second MC crash landed on earth she was like “fuck this noise I’m going with space boy laterz” (okay she can’t talk but she thought it).

Zizii: Lesbian alien? Yeah???? Okay but I mean her main character trait is being a dorky back alley doctor and engineer obsessed with the MC because they’re a sentient robot with emotions and a lazer arm and rocket boots WOW!!!!!!!!

Story I want to revive:

So I had a story I started writing a long time ago about this tech theatre kid that had a crush on this other theatre kid character, but in a play that other character has to kiss another person for the show, and as the story progresses the MC convinces themselves that it isn’t just a play and that their crush actually loves and is kissing that other kid. And in the play, that other character is supposed to die. Show night comes along and they die, but like actually, and by the hands of the MC (Idk maybe like a light falls on em or smthn). So it’s a grotesque scene the audience sees as just an act. (Mutters I dunno I think my idea’s cool...) So I’ve been wanting to design these characters and work more on the story but I’m busy being obsessed with Rodriquez and Samantha so. (And the Horror Host Club too I love them too still).

Other Characters that either don’t have a specific story or are kind of like background characters:

Jacqueiliquinne Merril: Sara Berry vibes from 35mm (go look up The Ballad of Sara Berry, maybe like an animatic idk the first one that comes up is nice) But otherwise rich, pretty, popular, bitch. Tries to like, steal Louise from his squad and it’s like bro that’s unnecessary who hurt you that’s so rude. She gives Nui from Kill La Kill Vibes too. Oh she knows her name is long and annoying but you have to say the whole thing.

Brianna: Jaqueiliquinne’s sister. Big titty goth gf??? She’s pretty popular too and kind of a bitch too but to a much lesser degree. Her and he sister throw hands a lot when no one is around, you know, “THEY GIRLS ARE FIGHTINNGGGG”.

The Louise Fan Club: 4 characters I haven’t named yet. One writes fanfiction of Louise and shares it with the others and with him sometimes and although he thinks it’s a bit weird he also finds it a tad endearing and supports her. One is an aspiring photographer and is constantly asking Louise to model for him. One is an artist and draws Louise all the time. And one is an aspiring musician who writes songs based of Louise’s relationships which again he finds a little weird but endearing and supports her.

The Jacquiliquinne Merril Fan Club: Genderbent-ish (I say ish because one of the characters is a little bit less defined gender wise) versions of the Louise Fan Club. Yes I’m lazy, and no they don’t get along with them, infact they hate each others club with a passion. 

Unnamed/Undesigned: I wanna make some hacker kid just because I wanna have one.

Unnamed/Undesigned: I also really wanna have a super cutesy magical girl and then a really super duper generic boring character probably like star vs the forces of evil idk I never watched that show but it looks cute.

Me: I exist in the universe fukc you I can do what I want it’s my story and I get to chose the who also if you wanna be in the mess of a universe go ahead draw yourself with my OC’s I allow and encourage and appreciate it. I literally made the Horror Host Club as a sort of Harem story and you are absolutely allowed to make out with them if you’re a monster fucker DO it GO ahead it’s canon.

and that is ALL I have FOR now Knowing me I’ll make like 12 more characters by July, and I mean I need more characters for the high school anyways so...

#Super Long #Characters #OC's #ALL my characters so far

[autisminfiction]

Rose - Chime

Source: Chime

Gender: Female

Age: 17

Type: Moderate-functioning

Status: Time period pre-diagnosis, but directly implied

The interesting thing about Chime is that Rose’s autism factors into the mystery at the heart of the book in a very unusual way. Namely, by knowing the characteristics of autism the reader can deduce that Rose is autistic, and then further knowledge of the causes of autism make it clear the step-mother’s narrative that Rose got her condition from Briony causing her to fall of the swing is lie done to gaslight the latter. Rose and her autism aren’t just reduced to their narrative utility though, and she’s an endearing character in her own right. The use of autism in the low fantasy, turn-of-the century rural England setting is also interesting. 

Rose’s presentation is pretty obvious, but for the sake of the plot it NEEDS to be obvious. She displays stereotypical traits like an obsession with numbers, an apparent lack of empathy, strict obedience to rules, sensory peculiarities, and having a tendency to wander off. She also has a very strong and unique personality though, she’s not at all walking stereotype. It’s important to note the story is told from the perspective of Rose’s sister Briony, and as Briony’s psychological state change, so does her description of Rose. As the book goes own, Rose is viewed more fondly, the aspects of her disorder are focuses on less, and the charming aspects her particular personality are emphasized more. For example, what seems to be a childish crush she has a fireman named Robert is implied to blossom into a genuine romance later in the story, she is shown to actually be quite empathetic and she was trying to protect her sister from harm, and her portrayed as a talented, imaginative artist who uses her college to communicate in brilliant ways when words fail, rather than just a girl obsessed with crafts. Over I enjoyed her depiction, but not everyone agrees.  

While she isn’t quite autistic, Briony doesn’t seem to be quite neurotypical either. This makes sense, as she is the identical twin sister of an autistic woman, in which case it would be pretty much impossible for her to neurotypical. She has a very unusual way at looking at the world, and the narrative is structured by her self-loathing and general cynicism and pessimism. This is characteristic of both her unique mind and the abuse she suffered at the hands of her stepmother. Her stepmother is revealed in the end to monster called a dark muse which feeds off the life force of artists, whom she ultimately poisoned in order to save her, but the effect of the lingering dark magic and trauma of the event causes her to forget the abuse and only remember the joy her step mother brought when she encouraged her to write. The dark muse works as both a metaphor for the complex dynamics of and of the relationship between suffering and artistic beauty. In particular the book does a very good job at portraying the mentality of depression.  Still, being a chime child, she is inherently an other in the world, regardless of depression or not, and neurodivergent individuals often feel otherness.  Neurodiversity seems to be one of the core themes of the novel, as it seems to be implied the romantic interest for Briony might have ADHD, and I highly recommend. 

#chime #PROFILE #depression #female aspies #implied #autism in fiction #low fantasy #neurodiversity #romance

[scriptshrink]

A Day in The Life of My ADHD Brain

LOL. J/K Let me tell you one thing about having a non-linear neuro-type. Every day is different. Some days, you’re on top of the world, ma! You have superpowers! Legit. And other days those same functions that made you feel so AMAZING yesterday, have turned on you and you feel so incapacitated you might as well be hooked up to a ventilator. My brain moves hella fast so sometimes I seem like I’m rambling, but truth is I’ve skipped a few steps in the physical world, so bear with me. You’ll probably notice this post jumps around- and I’ve left it a bit like that to show you what my brain is like. Enjoy. (I have edited it to make it slightly more readable.)

Hi, I’m a 24 year old female with combined ADHD. This means I have both inattentive and hyperactive- impulsive traits. And it’s a toss up what wins out what days. My general symptoms are hyper/hypofocus,(That toss up I was talking about) impulsive actions, difficulty keeping track of time and everything else, and a VERY overactive mind which leads to insomnia. I have co-morbid LD of dyscalcula(dyslexia with numbers) and dysgraphia(difficulties with writing), both of which were only diagnosed in me recently. I combat the dyscalcula by avoiding numbers at all costs and dysgraphia by becoming a writer(LOL). Music with lyrics actually helps me translate from thinking to writing quite a bit, and typing is easier than handwriting(also you can’t see how often I messed up. Typing this post has been nuts. So many spelling errors.). I have my own systems for organizing that drive others mad, but make perfect sense to me. I am currently going to weekly therapy with a clinical psychologist to discuss how I did through out the week and come up with plans for basic life coping. I personally do not medicate, and I hated every minute I was on it as a kid. I don’t recommend it for everyone- it takes a near insane level of stubbornness to make it through the world armed only with coping mechanisms- but more on that later. Resources that have helped me monumentally are ADDitude Magazine and Dr. Lynn Weiss’ book ADD in Adults. It’s an incredibly empowering book for people who have been told since childhood that they are broken in some way. She uses ADD to cover both ADD and ADHD so don’t worry about the differences in the title. She defines it as a non linear brainstyle that you need to learn how to use to your advantage in a world that works in a linear way. By linear and non linear I have come to understand it as linear thinks in progression from A all the way to Z like you sing the song. Non linear will jump from A to M and then maybe D before going to B. Or even start from Q and then go to B, then L before going to A. It’s simply how our brains work, and being forced to think linearly causes some significant distress, as I can imagine you being forced to think in such a “scattered/disordered” way would stress you out. It’s just different, not necessarily bad. Because of this view, she also includes that this is the reason why other cultures don’t even consider ADHD/ADD as a thing, the biggest part of the disorder from her view is when you don’t know how to use your brain because you’ve been taught otherwise. I highly suggest this book for reading if you want to write an ADHD character. I am currently learning how to properly harness my brain.

 ADHD as an adult is weird. Some people do grow out of their symptoms, but if you’re like me, it persists into adulthood, and it gets weird, because now you’re fully formed and conscious of how your brain is messing with you.

I generally swing between hyperfocus and … not. The best term I’ve found for it is hypofocus, but it’s not generally accepted. I like omnifocus but that’s a computer processor so I will describe it: Imagine you’re in a room. A really big room filled with stuff. Like couches and tables and lamps and speakers and rugs and maybe a dog. Nice room, right? Now fill that room to full capacity. Say it’s a party. You have a birds eye view of that party and now, you see everything. Everything. That guy picking his nose, the lint falling from that lady’s dress. A lot of people wearing green tonight. Another lady’s hair is falling out of her pony tail, she messes with it. Someone just tripped over the dog. Something got thrown across the room. You hear everything. The dog yelping and that guy swearing. The six conversations going on around you at once, every word coming in and you pick up the individual words. The thunk of that thrown thing as it hits the wall. And you smell everything. All the food, the beer, that guy who farted, the dog. And you can feel the fibers in your shirt. Every seam, the hairs pulling from your scalp and the ones that flip back around and itch and stab and how soft your shirt is and your left foot is chilled from the door opening but your arms are too hot because you never took off your jacket and it is starting to weigh a lot–

You get the point. All of that all at once. You notice too much, your amygdala stops filtering and your poor brain is trying to consciously process it all while also keeping you upright and breathing and interacting. Luckily this isn’t a constant state for me, it only happens on occasion. When it hits it helps me to do only one thing at a time. (Which is why I chose a job that allows me to do so. I am a massage therapist who works with injury rehab.) Breathing exercises help center me long enough for me to get to a place where I can hide for a moment and ground myself out, usually by bi-lateral stimulation and breathing. Reading also helps. If I don’t manage these attacks I can end up a sobbing mess in a corner because I’m just so overwhelmed. 

Hyperfocus is when I start doing one thing and the whole world just. stops. It’s like when normal brains get into the flow but on ALL the steroids. Someone could die screaming in front of me and I wouldn’t know. My hyperfocus also comes out in a sort of obsessive compulsive way- note: I have not been formally diagnosed obsessive compulsive(though it can be co-morbid with ADHD), so don’t take this as gospel. I get VERY fixated on one thing, be it a physical/emotional feeling or situation. I can’t move on from it- in the moment that thing is ALL THAT MATTERS. It really affects relationships because if I’m upset about something, my brain will treat it as “this is life, there’s nothing else, you’re doomed.” As a result I can get easily depressed- sometimes scary depressed. I have had to contact a suicide hotline more than once over something neuro-typicals would consider a small event.  It goes similar for a happy feeling- you’ve always felt this good! Nothing bad could happen or will happen. Life is Good™. So when something bad does happen, you can crash hard because you just didn’t see it coming. Not to say this is everyday life- these things happen when I am not managing my brain well. Most days you wouldn’t even consider that I could go to these extremes. When it comes to the physical world I get very attached to a specific texture or sound. I even crave certain stimulation at times. Due to poor impulse control I can actually OVER stimulate myself and cause myself an anxiety crash. I will repeat an action over and over and over again, or just fidget. I am never still. Never. I believe this is called Stimming- I know it is more associated with Autism, but is absolutely prevalent in ADHD. Meditation helps me control this, but actually getting to the point of sitting still for meditation is crazy hard. Moving meditations such as yoga or walking are helpful. I really love bi-lateral tapping because it allows me to channel my fidgeting into something anxiety reducing, instead of increasing.

As an adult I have learned to harness the mental energy I get from both hyper/hypofocus and sort of combine them in a way that allows me to notice everything, but still be conscious enough to process and get everything done. It’s definitely playing with fire- I run the risk of physically missing steps because my brain is moving too fast for my body to follow, or spiraling onto either end of the spectrum. When it goes right I get this sort of high- you feel like the freaking fastest, smartest, most efficient you’ve ever been in your LIFE. Hubris for the WIN.

I often forget what I’m saying as I’m saying it because my brain has already moved on. This results in word mixing or switching topics halfway through a sentence or discussion. (I know this doesn’t make for ‘good’ reading, but I’d love to see it normalized, instead of stigmatized. It can get to a point of being a speech impediment.) If I don’t make a to do list, I will completely forget to do something, even simple stuff like eating or showering. Sometimes I think less time has passed than in reality, or vice versa. These things make keeping a consistent schedule a struggle, because I don’t have innate mental cues to go off of. I have to watch the clock like a person obsessed because a hour could pass with me thinking it’s five minutes, or it could be the opposite. I can’t get a ‘feel’ on time passing. I typically have to spend some time before bed telling myself and my husband what I need to get done tomorrow so I can cement it into a long term memory rather than just a working memory. Memory recall is a tricky thing, depending on what part of my memory it is stored in. Either I can remember a frightening amount of detail, or nothing at all. I have to deem something of having importance before it gets quick recall.

BUT! Conversely, I can remember a LOT. I have often been referred to as a walking encyclopedia of weird. I spend a lot of time pouring over things I find interesting and can recall it perfectly for years. I’m that pretty classic example of someone spouting random facts at odd times. Think Mr. Vincent Nigel-Murray from Bones. This goes in tandem with the most interesting/awesome/frustrating part of how fast my brain will work. I can put things together faster than most people simply because I’m on fast forward(also impatient. I just need it to get done.) My brain will make leaps and jumps that others might not. Long winded, round about people drive. me. nuts. I want quick and concise up front and leave it up to me if I feel I need more details. I’ll usually extrapolate the details myself. However, you must be direct. Allegory or metaphor only confuses me because there is simply too much for me to draw from it to really understand what it is you want. (Unless all the things are the point.) Every once in a while I go too fast and miss something, but I’ve gotten better over the years. So even if I’m not actually smart by some standards, I can at least come across as very smart by quick in, scramble, add detail, and put out.

My mornings consist of struggling to get out of bed, coffee or green tea to start the day, with the mantra of “a cup of coffee is not breakfast”. Then I usually do some bi-lateral stimulation to help keep my brain from racing too fast, which can result in anxiety. I also have an app that uses visual and auditory bi-lateral stim known as EDMR. I have to watch my diet closely, as I’m in the school of thought that my diet affects how my brain works. I tend to eat high in protein and fats to fuel my brain, I think my brain uses a lot more than that standard 20% of energy your body produces. Amino acids are also central to my diet, especially Omega 3s. Lots and lots of eggs, fish, poultry, and legumes for this girl. My grains of choice tend towards rices and quinoa. We use whole grain breads and tend towards more astringent vegetables. I have to avoid sugary/super salty things because I can easily become hooked in a cycle of only pursuing it like a heroin addict. Starches, chewy foods and soda are my ultimate vice. I usually chug water like crazy.

Some days I have to remind myself what social rules are, or even just remember to interact with people at all. Because of my impulsiveness I say what’s on my mind and have to have a conscious filter. I usually swear like a sailor. I usually come across as pretty blunt. Socializing has been a bane my whole life- I had to teach myself social rules the way other people learn steps to a dance or math problem- I just don’t connect them subconsciously. Social niceties are a consciously practiced thing and I feel really proud when I remember. Just talking with people sometimes is hard because you’re either far away mentally or everything is just– blank. How do I small talk? What is relating to people? What is the socially correct way to respond to this? Sometimes there are just no words.

Impulsive tendencies are the hardest because your fast thinking brain has already rationalized the decision or action you are about to take before the rest of the world is even aware that it’s an option. Long painful decisions feel like a waste of time to me. Sometimes it works out and you’re the quick witted genius, and other times you end up smacking someone in the face. Or your own face. Clumsy is my middle name(no it’s not). Once I also get something that feeds that reward system I have a hard time stopping myself- this goes back to repetitive motions, overindulging in foods or playing Harvest Moon for three weeks straight without remembering to sleep or shower. Yum. 

Motivation is a tricky thing with my brain. I’m very slow to start in on projects- especially mundane things like cleaning or taxes. I have to set a schedule for it and then talk myself up to it. I often wish I had a buddy who I could pay to nag me into doing things all the time. Lot’s of ADHD peeps find apps that help them remember to do things, but I’m way too good at going, “EH.” and not doing it anyways. My parents tried everything on me as a kid- punishment like removing a computer or sending me to sit in a corner did little- I just found something else to do or daydream- and bribery didn’t work either. As I see it, if I didn’t need it before doing the thing, I certainly didn’t need it just because I did the thing. Earning money as an adult results in a lot of the same. Survival instinct and gentle reminders from my husband keep me remembering why I need to actually make money. If it was up to my shitty sense of compensation, I’d be doing only what I want when I want and to hell with if I make anything for it. Lack of motivation can spread to taking care of myself as well- I can procrastinate eating or scheduling an appointment for unhealthy amounts of time simply because I have prioritized organizing my closet or writing my story as more important at the moment. I put off getting my wisdom teeth out for five months- even though it was hitting my trigeminal nerve- simply because I was in the middle of doing something at the time it hit me.

My symptoms are better when I am able to sleep early, but more often than not I do not get to sleep until after midnight and am up around seven or eight. I usually wake up at least once or twice in the night regardless of when I fell asleep. My nervous system is reversed, so calming teas or sleeping pills usually have little to no effect, to sometimes making my insomnia worse. (Rockstar energy drinks can get me hyped, but others like Monster or even Mountain Dew will put me to sleep I still get an erratic heart rate and accompanying anxiety/nausea on occasion. I have to be careful about when I have my caffeine intake and what I take it with. I can completely crash without notice if I don’t. Sometimes that morning cup of coffee turns on me.)

Like I said in the beginning, nothing is consistent in my brain- every day is something new to tackle and some new way of how my brain is looking at the world. Honestly, between what I have experienced and what I have read and heard from Autistic friends, I find A LOT of similarities between my ADHD and Autism. They are different though. I’m not the best one to define exactly what is different physiologically and how it manifests, and I definitely have never been considered to be on the spectrum, but it’s interesting to think about.

Now, it seems like a lot of this post is how my brain makes life hard, so Imma list a few things on how all these traits make a POSITIVE impact on me as a person in a clearer way: I am a very creative problem solver, and can reach conclusions faster than others; I extrapolate information quickly and efficiently, so I can see past surface issues; my omnifocus helps me notice things others have missed, which helps me solve those problems or find lost things; I see things different so I can be fucking hilarious; I often have high energy and plenty to give to others, I’m very empathetic, and am great to come to when you’re feeling down and out; I’m completely open about everything, I don’t see the point in secrets(unless you have specifically told me not to tell others. Then it goes in The Vault™ .) I am also instinctively honest- I have to plan ahead if I’m going to lie, and then it’s a lot of effort, so I am very trustworthy; I don’t hold grudges or hate you for past actions. There’s no point if that doesn’t exist anymore, right? I’m hyper analytical and quick thinking, so I’m hard to trick. Conversely, I am also crazy trusting- I have an honest hard time believing people can be malicious when I’m not actively being messed with, even after the event is over I will still trust someone because I have straight up forgiven and forgotten. I can learn a lot of very varied things, am multi disciplined, I also learn scary fast(unless it’s maths). Surprisingly, my pattern recognition is awesome(unless numbers). I tend to be very down to earth. I only do things because I want to- I am never pressured into doing things I don’t want to do- I’ll FIGHT YOU if I have to, which is another reason I am hard to take advantage of. We ADHD people often have the biggest damn hearts- we’ll sit down and cry with a complete stranger if they need crying with. When I do get things done, I get them done FAST. Cuz ain’t nobody got time fo’ that.

That should be all, I think! If you have any questions about what life with my LD is like or any further questions about what my brain is like, if you want info on what being a kid with ADHD was like, feel free to ask away! I’d love to see more complex ADHD characters in stories, especially females acknowledged as having ADHD. It absolutely is NOT just a male neuro-type, and is not just hyperactive/disruptive kids. (I really love all the Percy Jackson series books- they were just as empowering as Uncle Rick intended them to be, but I do feel he didn’t quite portray ADD/ADHD properly, especially in later books.) While we are defined as having a ‘disorder’, and some days are a struggle, I genuinely think that I am better for having my brain this way and wouldn’t change it for anything, and want the world to see how badass we can be.

I thought Daisy Wick from Bones is in my opinion a GREAT example of a female with adult ADHD in tv- her whole arc and how the other characters interacted with her included. I felt it really reflected my own experiences. 

#adhd #submissions #personal experiences #submission