#and then he meets kanan and ezra in rebels and realizes he finally got exactly what he always had secretly wished for | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jenstar1992-2 · 3 years

Note

May I please request an older!Captain Rex x reader drabble where you're married and there with Rex, Gregor and Wolffe when Ezra and the rebels come to Rex for help?

Ask and you shall receive. 😊 Here it is, took me a minute to start writing again, but I finally got around to it. I know this is not really a drabble, I didn’t start out with the intention on making it long, especially not THIS long, but here we are. It's been a good minute since I last wrote anything so hopefully this is ok, and I hope you like it. Also, sorry it went a bit off the rails there, did not mean for it to get so angsty and junk, but my brain was going, and my fingers just kept typing, tried to end it happy though so… yeah.

Trust

Pairing: Older! Rex X Fem! reader

Warnings: Language, angst, mentions of order 66, reader being very protective of her boys, feels all around really, a bunch of married couple fluff (not really a warning, just wanted to mention it), it does get a little saucy at the end, nothing crazy, more talk than anything else

Word Count: 11,113

"We've got company", you hear Gregor say as he eyes the screen in front of him. You stand from your seat and make your way over to him.

"What is it", you ask, looking over his shoulder to inspect the image on the screen for yourself.

"Looks like an auxiliary starfighter of some kind."

"What's it doing out here?"

"I'm more concerned about who's inside it", Rex says from behind you. You turn to face your husband, giving him a curious look.

"Who the hell would be all the way out here? We're in the middle of nowhere", you say, holding your arms out and gesturing to the space around you before folding them at your chest.

"Exactly, who in their right mind would land in the middle of nowhere, and conveniently right in our path."

"You think it's something we should be worried about?"

"Don't know, just seems a bit suspicious is all", he says, lifting his hand to his chin, rubbing it with his index finger in thought.

There's a short moment of silence before you break it. "Well", you say with a little clap of your hands to break Rex out of his thoughts and bring him back to reality. "Let's check it out, who knows, maybe their friendly." You walk to the door and look back to the three men, giving them a smile and waiting for them to follow.

Wolffe chuckled and shook his head. "Ah (Y/N), always the optimist." His comment making you smile a little wider.

"Hey, it's gotten me this far", you say with a little shrug.

They all chuckle at that as they move to join you by the door. Wolffe and Gregor each grabbing their weapons on the way. You give them a confused look before Wolffe states, "Just in case."

You smile and nod, absentmindedly placing your hands to your hips, where they ghost over your lightsabers that you keep strapped there. You didn't know why you kept them on, it's not like you ever used them, never had to after coming to this deserted planet, where nothing much ever happens. But you kept them there, if for no other reason than it just felt wrong not having them on you. Your lightsabers were an extension of yourself after all, at least that's what your master taught you. As you reach to open the door, your hand gets caught in a gentle grip. You turn, raising your eyebrow at Rex who only offers you a soft smile. "I'll go first cyar'ika."

A small grin forms on your lips. "As always", you reply, moving aside to let him take the lead. As he passes you, he places a soft kiss on your forehead.

"Yep, always", he confirms before opening the door and walking out into the bright sunlight, you and the other two men right behind him.

You walk up to the railing and gaze down warily at the group that had just exited the starfighter. "It's a bunch of old geezers, well mostly old geezers", one of them says, a lasat from the looks of him.

"Well- armed old geezers", the Mandalorian girl adds.

"What do you want", Rex asks, sounding a bit gruffer than usual. You guessed he was trying to sound more intimidating. You would've laughed if you weren't also trying keep a serious front.

"We're looking for someone", responded the man in the group.

"Well, that's too bad, cause there's nobody out here", Rex says while leaning on the railing.

The boy speaks up next and asks, "Hey, uh, does the number 7567 mean anything to you?" You all straighten simultaneously.

"What did you just say", you asked, a small ball of anger beginning in your chest.

"Uh, I said 7567", the boy responded.

You looked over to Rex who still had his gaze set on the group below. "Well, that's my birth number", he tells them.

You see the man's eyes light up with recognition, like he's had a realization. "They're clones", he says angrily. He then pulls out a lightsaber and ignites it, stepping in front of the others.

"It's the jedi, they've come for revenge", you hear Wolffe say from your right before he fires a few shots at the man, who blocks them easily. You then see the man take a few more steps forward, looking like he wanted to jump up to your level and take you all out, but you weren't about to let him get that far. Acting on instinct, you grabbed your sabers from your hips and jumped down to the ground, landing just a few feet from him, your sabers igniting as soon as your feet hit the dirt. You stood in a defensive stance, ready to attack if he made even a single wrong move.

"I wouldn't if I were you", you told him in a tone that said you weren't messing around.

"She's a jedi", the boy said from behind the man, surprise clear in his voice.

"Stand down troopers, that's an order", you heard Rex bark from above. "(Y/N)", he then said in a softer tone. You knew what he wanted, but you were far from relenting, you needed to keep your men safe.

"Not gonna happen", you responded, still not taking your eyes off the man in front of you.

"Kanan stop, we have to trust them remember?" The boy seemed to be trying to reason with the man. You continued to glare at him, an action which he reciprocated. You stayed like that for a few more seconds until you heard your name being called again, even more gently than before.

"Please cyare, put them away", Rex calls down, trying to keep his voice as soft as possible. He knows all you need is a little push to send you over the edge at this point. You were always like this when anyone or anything threatened the safety of your men, you'd been that way for as long as he’d known you and he didn't see that ever changing. Not that he didn't respect the hell out of you for it. He and his brothers always appreciated the way you defended them with such vigor. However, Rex also knew that this wasn't the time for that. Something told him that they should be trying to make friends in this situation, instead of starting a fight.

"Not until he does", you finally reply.

The boy puts a hand on the man's shoulder, giving him a pleading look. Kanan sighs before deactivating his lightsaber and returning it to his hip. He then looks at you expectantly. You regard him for a few more moments before you too put your sabers away. Once you re-attached them, you turned and jumped back up to your original position, grabbing the railing and easily pulling yourself up and over it, before coming to stand beside your husband. You cross your arms over your chest, still feeling a bit defensive. Rex could feel your tension and responded by wrapping an arm around your waist to hold you closer to his side, feeling you relax just a bit.

The boy took this opportunity to make his introductions. "My name's Ezra. This is Kanan. That's Sabine and Zeb", he said while pointing out each of his comrades. "It's nice to meet you, 7567."

Rex felt you stiffen a bit in his grasp. You hated when anyone referred to him by his number and not his name. It had started as a pet peeve, but as time went on you just saw it as downright disrespectful and then it just straight up pissed you off. Rex knew this and it was just one of the millions of reasons he loved you so much. He could feel you prickling up with anger again. He moved the hand holding your waist to your hip and gave it a light squeeze in an attempt to calm the storm brewing inside you. This was your way of telling each other that everything was okay and not to be upset, light squeezes or soft touches, usually followed by a reassuring look. After this he again felt you start to calm. It was crazy the affect you two had on each other, it was damn near magic.

"Actually, my name is Rex. Captain, 501st Clone Battalion. Meet Commanders Gregor and Wolffe", Rex introduced the men standing behind you before looking to you, pulling you to him in a tighter one-armed embrace, "and this beautiful ball of fire is our General, (Y/F/N, Y/L/N). I know she seems a bit rough around the edges, but once you get to know her, you'll find she's pretty amazing." You looked to Rex after your introduction to notice him looking at you with an expression of pride, like he had just showed off his most prized possession, which in a way, you were. Rex never had much, but he always had you, and that's all he ever wanted. Your love and adoration were all he needed to feel as though he had a fulfilling life. Something he reminded you of on more than one occasion. You couldn't help but smile back at him, that same adoration clearly visible in your gaze.

You both were brought back to the present when you heard Ezra's voice addressing you. "We were sent by Ahsoka", he told you. Your ears perked up at the mention of your friend, turning to look at the boy.

"Ahsoka?"

Rex grinned. "Ahsoka Tano. We fought by her side from the battle of Christophsis to the siege of Mandalore", he said reminiscently.

"A friend of Ahsoka's is a friend of ours", you said, finally offering the group a genuine smile. Ezra smiled back, glad to see the fighting was over.

***

You and the boys had decided to help the crew of the Ghost to find a place to set up their rebel base. You could tell they were grateful for your help, most of them anyway. Kanan still seemed to distrust your little squad. When you thought about it you couldn't totally blame him. From what you could tell, Kanan was a young man, which meant that he would've still been a young padawan near the end of the clone wars, which also meant that he had to endure the horror that was Order 66 at a young age. You remember how terrible it had been for you, Ahsoka, and Rex. Not to mention the countless others who had to watch their allies, their friends turn on them, not knowing why. You had felt their pain, their fear, their feeling of betrayal, all before they were silenced. Then there were the clones who had their chips removed and had been traumatized at what they had almost done, what most of their brothers did do, even if it was out of their control. It took a heavy toll on all of you, and even though so much time had passed, it still hurt like hell. So yeah, you could understand his feelings, but if you were going to all work together successfully, then he had to lay some of that aside and learn to trust you, and the clones. You knew it wouldn't be easy, but you figured it couldn't hurt to try and talk to him.

You were walking topside on your way to the Phantom for what you knew was going to be an uncomfortable talk, at best. As you approached the vessel you saw Rex standing by its entrance talking to whoever was inside. "We all have a choice", he said as you reached his position. He then turned to walk away, stopping after a few steps when he saw you standing there. He had a saddened expression that made your heart hurt, but before you could ask what was wrong, he walked past you, only stopping for a moment to bring your forehead to his, a gesture that meant he wasn't okay, but he would be. You nodded and let him leave, then turned to continue your little mission.

As you walked to the entrance of the phantom Ezra emerged, giving you a sad smile before passing you to join the rest of his crew up front. Once he was gone you focused your attention on Kanan who was facing away from you, fiddling with his lightsaber. "Hey", you called, trying to sound like you weren't still a little pissed at him.

"Hi", he said, rather unenthusiastically.

"Well, aren't you all warm a fuzzy", you said sarcastically.

"Can I help you with something, because if not then please leave me be, I have things to do." You rolled your eyes. This was going to be harder than you thought.

"Mm, yeah, that seems real important", you say, pointing to the saber in his hand that he had been detaching and re- attaching the same piece on for the past minute. He gave you a look over his shoulder, but you ignored it continuing. "Anyway, I was hoping we could talk."

"About what?"

You crossed your arms. "You know what." He just continued his mindless fiddling, so you sighed and went on. "Look, I understand your feelings towards the clones, I even understand your feelings towards me, but if we're going to work together here then you need to put all that aside, even if it's just for the time being. Do you think you could do that?" You looked at him with a sympathetic, yet hopeful look.

"Put it aside, put it aside?" His voice had raised to where he was just short of yelling at you. "How do you suggest I do that, huh? Maybe to you the war was a long time ago, but to me it feels like it could've been yesterday. The pain is still fresh to me, I can't forget it or set it aside as I please, it's always there and it always will be. I can't just sit here and act like I'm okay when everything here reminds of that awful day, the day I lost my master, the one time she needed me most and I couldn't save her. How can I put it aside when every time I turn around here I see the faces that murdered her?” That was it, that was what tore the last piece of patience from you.

"ENOUGH!" He froze, obviously not expecting the amount of anger that now radiated off you in waves. "Listen, you son of a bitch, I've tried to be patient, I've tried to be understanding, hell, I tried to be genuinely nice to you, but clearly you don't respond to nice, so this is how it's gonna go." You grabbed him by the front of his shirt and brought his face only inches from yours. "You are going to buck the kriff up and get over your bantha shit until this is over, and if you hurt or disrespect my men again, you won't be leaving this planet intact, do I make myself clear?" You made sure to emphasize those last five words.

He looked at you, still shocked, for a moment before narrowing his eyes and giving you a bitter, "Yes Ma'am."

You instantly released your grip, letting him go. "Good, as long as we're on the same page, you can go back to your 'oh so important' work." You made you way back to the door but stopped just as your one foot passed the threshold. You turned slightly before saying in a low voice, "You know, you’re not the only one that lost people that day." You paused as so many faces flashed through your mind, all the friends you lost, even ones before the end of the war, all the faces that plagued your thoughts so often. "Survivor’s guilt is a hell of a thing, believe me, I know... we all know", and that's all you left him with before you quickly made your exit, desperately trying to keep the tears at bay, you weren't about to show him that kind of weakness in you, not when you had to stay strong, not when you had your family to protect.

You made your way to the front with the others, seeing Ezra and Sabine leaning on the rail, talking casually. Sabine was the first to notice you approaching. "Oh, hey General (Y/L/N)", she said, smiling as she turned to fully face you. Her smile quickly faded when she took in your expression. "Are you okay", she asked, her voice laced with genuine concern.

You stopped in front of her, finally looking up to meet her gaze. "Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah I'm alright", you replied, giving her a reassuring smile, hoping it was believable. "Oh, and you don't need to call me that. It's (Y/N). Not need for formalities with me, no matter what the boys say." She nodded, turning back to lean on the rail as you moved to stand between the two teens, copying their actions. "So, what were you two talking about before I interrupted", you asked, hoping that a casual conversation with some young bloods would help get your mind off of that upsetting talk you had only moments ago.

"Nothing much, just that you guys seem to have a pretty nice setup here, living the quiet life and all", Ezra said, gesturing toward the modified tank you were all currently on.

You chuckled. "I don’t know if quiet is the word I'd use, if there's one thing these boys are not, it’s quiet, but I get your meaning", you said, smiling at the young teen.

"It makes me wonder though." You turned at Sabine's words to look at the girl. "Wonder what", you asked.

"Well, I can see how this life is desirable for the clones, I mean I'm sure the war took its toll on everyone, but it must've even more so on them. So, a nice quiet life of isolation seems like a nice reprieve if anything else", she said, pausing to look at you, seeming to contemplate her next words before continuing her thought. "But you’re a jedi."

"And", you questioned, cocking an eyebrow.

"Well, all the jedi I know can't seem to stay in one place for very long, not unless there's a point to it anyway. Plus, if anyone should want the downfall of the empire, it should be the jedi. You guys were peacekeepers after all, and with the empire in control there hasn't been any true piece to be found. I don't know, I guess I just thought you'd be fighting with the rebellion, instead of hanging out here slinging for joopa with retired clone troopers." She looked at you with a confused expression.

You sighed before responding, "I get your logic, and you're right, if anyone deserves a quiet life away from all the violence out in the galaxy, it's the clones. We all went through it and it was bad for all of us, but they really got screwed more than any of us in my opinion. We at least had some semblance of a choice in the matter, but the clones, they were forced into a war they had nothing to do with, and not even a light at the end of the tunnel to work toward. Most clones had no idea what would happen to them after the war, or what they would do. If you ask me, these boys deserve much more than this 'quiet' life." You leant over the railing again, looking to the ground below. "You're right about the rest too. We were peacekeepers, at least, we were supposed to be, and I do want the empire to fall, but...", you paused, not sure why you were divulging so many of the thoughts you'd kept to yourself for so long, even during the war, you hadn't fully voiced your opinion on these topics with anyone but Rex, and that was only in confidence, in those precious moments when it was just the two of you, the world outside a distant thought as you held each other and talked throughout the night. These and other hard topics would come up now and then, but you'd never have thought that you'd be here telling those same thoughts to two teens who you'd only just met earlier that day. You realized it was because, for reasons unknown to you, you trusted them, and you guessed that was enough. "When the war ended, and the empire took power, I was lost. We all were", you continued. "Ahsoka, Rex, and I, we were together when it happened, and if it hadn't been for that, well, I don't know where I'd be right now. Maybe I would've joined the rebellion, if I had somehow been able to survive on my own. But that's not how things played out. I was able to keep those closest to me and then I had a decision to make. Join another fight and risk the one thing that gives my life purpose or keep them safe and away from the danger." You stood straight, looking to Sabine. "We all have a choice, and I made mine. I chose family, I chose him."

"Rex", she said, confident in her understanding of your words. You gave her a short nod, then looked away, staring at the empty landscape before you.

It remained silent for a moment until Ezra spoke up, wanting to voice the question that had been on his mind. "Rex said that he never betrayed his jedi, is that true?"

You smiled, turning your attention to Ezra now. "Yes, it's true. It wasn't easy though, those damn chips really did their jobs well. I had never seen him fight so hard against anything the way he did with that thing. Imagine fighting your own body and mind simultaneously because that's what he did, for us. He didn't want to hurt us, and his hesitation gave us the chance we needed to escape. I had never been more relieved than I was to see that damn thing removed from his head. I owe Ahsoka a lot for that, it was her quick thinking that saved him in the end. Well, her... and Fives", you said, a sad expression taking over your features as you thought of your fallen friend, and the sacrifice he made trying to save you all.

"Who's Fives", you heard Ezra ask from beside you.

"A good man, one of the best, who deserved better", you said somberly.

The silence that settled over the three of you was thick with conflicting emotions and full of unasked questions that you were sure would stay that way, which you were grateful for.

You almost jumped at the sound of the door sliding open behind you, turning around to see Rex coming though it towards the three of you. "I've assembled a list of potential bases and clearance codes and a few protocols the imperials still use. Should be of some use", he tells Ezra, who promptly thanked him. Sabine then went inside to collect some data tapes. Rex came to stand beside you. "So, what'd I miss out here", he asked, looking between you and Ezra.

"Oh, nothing much, just telling the kids some old war stories", you said, trying to make it sound as if it had been as simple as that.

"Oh yeah? Hope they were some of the good ones", he said, grinning at you.

"Were there any good ones, because I don't remember the war being all that fun." You hadn't even noticed Kanan enter the vicinity. You instantly frowned and crossed your arms, giving him a look that told him not to test you. He heeded the warning and turned away from you all, looking outward and shaking his head in disapproval, but he stayed silent.

"Actually, (Y/N) was telling us about what you did for her and Ahsoka, about how you saved them", Ezra interjected.

Rex scoffed at that. "If memory serves, it was the other way around. Without her and Commander Tano, I don't think I'd be standing here today", he said, looking back to you, his gaze turning to one of pure adoration. You couldn't help but smile back at him.

Ezra smiled, a knowing look in his eye. "So, I guess you were telling the truth after all. You didn't betray your jedi."

You both turned your attention back on the boy. "Nope. Even married one of 'em", he responded, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you flush against his side. “Best decision I ever made too.”

You sent a sideways grin his way. “Yeah, only took you forever to ask”, you said, finally dropping your arms to mimic his hold and wrap one around his waist.

He laughed, “Sorry cyar'ika. I would’ve asked sooner but we were in the middle of a war.”

“I know, I know”, you said, lifting your free hand to let it caress his cheek lightly before coming to rest your curved finger under his chin. “I just like messing with you”. Rex continued to grace you with a soft smile. But soon your quiet moment was ruined by someone’s loud scoffing, causing you to drop your hand and glare at the offender. “You have something to say, Ponytail”, you asked, your hand now going to your hip, your other staying securely around your husband, acting as your lifeline to sanity. You knew you shouldn’t let this guy rile you up, but you couldn’t help it, he was just so infuriatingly stubborn and took every chance he could to be rude.

“Yeah actually, I do have something to say…”, he started to say, but Ezra tried to intervene.

“Kanan, maybe you shouldn’t. They’re doing us a favor here remember. So maybe we should be, oh I don’t know, nice”, he said, giving his master an almost pleading look.

Kanan scoffed once more, crossing his arms over his chest. “Nice, you want me to be nice? I don’t know Ezra, it’s kind of hard to be nice to someone who not only chooses clones over her own people, but then come to find she broke her code to have a relationship with one of them. Then to top it all off, she goes off to conspire with the traitors”, he said, raising his voice.

You let go of Rex to cross your arms as well, but feeling the rage start to build in you Rex kept his hold on you, knowing if he didn’t this might turn into an all-out fist fight, or worse. “My people huh? Well, I don’t know how things were for you in the order, but let’s just say that by the end of the war, my faith in the jedi was heavily skewed. I couldn’t trust the order anymore, not like I used to. The only people I could truly trust were my friends and my men, and most times they were one in the same. I know you have a chip on your shoulder when it comes to clones, and, as I said before, I get it. However, I can tell you something with absolute certainty, and that is that my husband is no traitor. Rex is a good man, and loyal as hell. For as long as I’ve known him, never once has my faith in him been shaken, not even on that day. He would’ve laid his life down to save Ahsoka and I, damn near did too, just like countless times before. So many of those men risked their lives for me and the other jedi over the course of the war, and I can never thank them enough for that. I knew my men, and they never would’ve turned on us unless they were forced to. It was out of their control, and I can never hold hatred in my heart for them because of it.” You lowered your arms to rest at your sides, deciding you didn’t want to start another fight, and sighed. “Look, I know I can’t tell you how to feel, and I know you’re angry and still grieving. I also know that, that pain will never truly go away.” You see his angry expression falter a bit at your words, his arms releasing a small amount of tension. “I’m sorry about your master, but don’t let her death shape your feelings towards everything that reminds you of it. Don’t let your feelings blind you from the truth.”

He looked you square on the eye then. “How do you know you aren’t letting your feelings blind you from the truth”, he asked bitterly.

You gave this some thought before answering. Meeting his eyes, you said, “Because, at the end of the day, I never let those feelings control my actions. I could love Rex and still do my duty and so could he.” You gestured to Rex, who was now watching you as you spoke. “We never let our relationship get in the way of our responsibilities.”

“She’s right”, Rex spoke up, finally taking his eyes from you to direct his words to Kanan. “Even though it might’ve been hard sometimes, we never let anything keep us from dutifully serving the republic. We had agreed in the very beginning, nothing would sway us from playing our parts in the war, not even our love for each other.” He looked to you with a solemn expression, and you knew he was reliving the same memories that you were in that moment. Remembering all the times you two had parted ways, off on your own missions, saying a bitter goodbye, not knowing if it would be your last.

You were snapped out of your memories when Kanan finally spoke, “That… that must’ve been tough.” You both looked back to him but kept silent so he could finish. “Living day in and day out, with that fear of not knowing what day might be your last was something I think we all felt during the war, and that was hard to cope with at times. But to have that and feel that same fear for another person at the same time… that couldn’t have been easy, and I can tell you that to an extent, I understand how that is now. You never know what’s coming, and you can only hope that the person you care for survives it all, because if they don’t… well, you don’t know what you’ll do.” Kanan’s eyes were cast to the ground beneath him, a sullen look adorning his features.

Ezra stared at his master with a sad but understanding look. Clearly, he knew of who Kanan was referring to, you thought.

After letting a thick silence fill the area around you all for some time, you finally decided it was time to try and end this squabble, for real this time. You cleared your throat. “So… can we come to a truce then”, you asked, stepping from Rex’s hold and moving toward Kanan, holding out your hand for him to shake. He eyed it for a moment, then looked up to meet your eyes. You gave him a hopeful lopsided grin and a little shrug. Come on, what do you have to lose.

He slowly extended his hand, grabbing yours in a firm handshake. “Okay, truce, but I’m still going to be keeping a close eye on you all while we’re here”, he said with a serious tone before he gave you a small grin.

You let out a light huff of laughter and said, “I’d be surprised if you didn’t.” You released his hand and made your way back into your husbands waiting arms. You gave each other a quick hug before turning back to face Ezra who was now smiling at the two of you. “Well, I’m glad that’s settled. So, can we all be friends now”, he asked, making all three of you chuckle.

Suddenly the door next to you slid open and Sabine emerged looking upset, waving a holopad in the air. You were about to ask her what was wrong, but she spoke first. “The clones gave us up. They warned the Empire we’re here”, she said in a huff.

“Wait what”, Ezra asked, shocked.

“You’re mistaken. We would never do that”, Rex said, reaching for the holopad, clearly confused.

Sabine snatched it away from his grasp. “I found the binary transmission to the Empire”, she said, pointing to the screen in her hand, “and there are messages Ahsoka sent to Rex and (Y/N) that they never answered.”

“What”, you and Rex said simultaneously.

“We never got any messages from Ahsoka”, you stated, peering to look at the screen of the holopad that Sabine had handed over to Rex.

“See I knew it, I knew they couldn’t be trusted”, Kanan said, walking toward Rex, pointing accusatively.

“Kanan wait”, Ezra said, holding a hand up to stop the man’s approach. He then turned to face you, Rex, and Wolffe, who had just joined you, and asked, “Is this true?”

Rex just stared at the screen for a few seconds before you saw a flash of realization light in his eyes. He then turned to the man behind you. “Wolffe, what did you do”, he asked, not sounding too happy. You turned around to look at Wolffe, who now had his back turned to you all.

“I…I contacted the Empire. If they found out we were helping jedi they’d wipe us out”, he said, still with his back to you.

“Wolffe how could you”, you asked, not being able to fully hide the hurt from your voice.

Wolffe turned to face you with a saddened expression, your voice clearly working on his emotions. “I… I’m sorry, I didn’t… I just… I’m sorry”, he said, looking to his feet shamefully.

You could hear Kanan speaking behind you, but you weren’t paying attention to what was being said, too focused on wrapping your head around why your friend would do this.

“Why Wolffe, why would you put us at risk like this”, you asked.

“I… I just wanted to protect us, they’d kill us if they knew we were harboring jedi”, he said, looking back up at you.

“Hello, you’ve been harboring a jedi for years now, why is this any different?”

“No, you’re not, I mean, you haven’t been a jedi in a long time, if anything your one of us now.”

“The Empire won’t see it that way”, you said, looking at him with a disappointed frown. “So, what was your plan exactly, call the Empire and let them capture the jedi, do who knows what to them? Were you gonna let them take me too?”

His eyes went wide, and he looked right into yours. “No! No, I would never let them hurt you, we would never let them hurt you. You’re family, aliit. I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking straight, I know that now. Please forgive me (Y/N)”, he said, looking at you like a dejected puppy. You knew you couldn’t stay mad at him for long, especially since it clearly was a mistake on his part, and not a totally conscious one. Wolffe struggled with things like this sometimes, forgot who was truly responsible for all that happened, and wasn’t always sure of who he could trust. The only exceptions being his brothers and you. He knew he could always trust his family. This is why you found it hard to continue to be upset with him, so instead you gave in with a heavy sigh and wrapped your arms around him in a hug. He responded by hugging you back, whispering another shame filled apology.

“I know, I forgive you Wolffe”, you say before pulling away to look him in the eye, “but you have to make this right. These people are not the enemy, they’re our allies, and we have to protect them too.”

He searched your eyes for a moment, and in seeing your resolve gave you a tight nod, confirming that he’d found his own.

***

As it turned out, fixing Wolffe’s mistake wasn’t going to be as easy as you had thought. Unbeknownst to you, there had been a probe droid on board watching you all, for how long you weren’t sure, but it managed to damage the Phantom’s engine, which meant your new friends were stuck with you all for the time being, something you could tell didn’t make Kanan to happy. Rex had managed to destroy the probe, but the Empire was still on its way, and all you could do was prepare for the inevitable fight that was to come.

Everything happened quite suddenly, and before you knew it the Empire had arrived. They were using some new contraptions that neither you nor the clones had ever seen before, the others called them “walkers”. While impressed, the boys quickly stopped their analysis of the machines and came up with a plan. Retreat into the sandstorm that was brewing behind you to scramble their scanners and use the jedis’ force sight to maneuver your way out. This worked, but the imperials were soon gaining on your position once more. Once you exited the storm Rex instructed the others to leave, with the walkers still in the storm this was their only chance to escape back to their ship without being shot down. Most of them were on board with this plan, but Ezra didn’t want to leave you all behind.

“We can’t just abandon them”, Ezra said, still trying to convince Kanan to let them help you.

“You’re not abandoning anyone. We’re covering your escape. Now go”, Rex said in a commanding tone. He then turned to you and in a softer, but still authoritative voice said, “(Y/N), I want you to go with them.”

“What”, you asked incredulously. “No way.”

Rex sighed and took your hands in his. “Please cyare, those things are going to overrun us, and I don’t want you to be here when they do. I want you to escape with them, I want you to be safe”, he said, his eyes pleading with you to listen, just this once, but you wouldn’t have it.

“No Rex. If you’re going to fight, then so am I, and if this is where it ends, then I’m going to be right here beside you”, you tell him, releasing yourself from his grasp in order to bring your hands to cup his face, bringing his forehead to meet yours. Your eyes close as you say your next words. “If we’re going to die, then we’re going to do it like we’ve done everything else, together.”

You hear Rex sigh once more and you open your eyes to look at him. A small grin starts at the corner of his mouth, “You’re so stubborn, you know that?”

You chuckled lightly. “Yes, I am, and that’s why you love me”, you said, raising an eyebrow and giving a cocky grin. He shook his head at you, but relented, knowing full well he was not going to win this argument.

You both looked back to Ezra who still stood at the entryway of the Phantom, looking sadder than you’d seen him yet. You frowned and walked over to him, placing your hands atop the boy’s shoulders and bending down so you were at eye level. “Hey, it’s okay, we’ll be alright. We have each other’s backs, and that’s all we’ve ever really needed. Besides, we’ve faced worse than this”, you say, trying to reassure him.

“It’s just…”, he started, but you cut him off with a light shake of his shoulders.

“Come on, you gotta focus here. The most important thing for you to do right now is get out of here and get that information back to the rebellion, got it?” He nodded and looked to his feet. You hooked a finger under his chin and brought it up so he would look at you. “You did great out there you know, keep that up and you’ll make one hell of a jedi someday”, you said with an encouraging smile. He gave you a sad smile back before suddenly launching toward you, catching you in a tight hug. You were surprised at first, but soon hugged him back, smiling at the gesture. You had never had any kids of your own, but you thought that this might be close to how motherhood would feel. You had just met this kid, but you were already very proud of him and the actions he had displayed over the time he’d been with you, and although you were sad to see him go you knew he’d be alright, and that brought you an unexpected sense of comfort. A few moments later you finally pulled away, smiling as you told him, “Now go.”

Ezra nodded again, this time a little more confidently, and backed into the starfighter. You moved, walking backwards, stopping to stand next to Rex as you watched them take off. Once they were airborne you turned to your husband with a knowing grin. “So, do we have an actual plan for taking those things down, or are we just winging it”, you asked.

He chuckled. “Well, unless you have any last-minute ideas, I think winging it is our only option”, he said, shrugging.

“Good”, you said, placing your hands on your hips, “Because that was my idea.” He laughed at your sudden perkiness, it reminded him of the old days when you two would exchange snarky comments in the heat of battle, it made the terrors on the battlefield a little easier to deal with and often helped to temporarily relieve his stress. “Now, let’s get to work”, you said and began to walk to the front of the tank. Before you could get more than two steps away you felt a tug on your wrist and were suddenly pulled against Rex’s chest. You looked up at him, a slightly surprised look on your face. He smiled and brought a hand to the back of your neck, bringing you into a deep, passionate kiss, which you immediately melted into, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him in even more. You knew this fight would most likely be your last and it was clear he was thinking the same, so you decided to make this moment last, and just marvel in the love that was held there between you. After a few seconds, that were much too short for your liking, you both pulled away but still held onto one another, foreheads lightly touching, for a while longer.

“Whatever happens, I just want you to know that you’re the best thing to ever happen to me. I’m glad I chose love over following the rules, I’m glad I chose you”, Rex said, cutting the silence that had built between you two.

You smiled at his confession, “I’m glad I chose you too Rex. I love you.”

“And I love you (Y/N).” You slowly released one another and shared one more loving glance before you each were heading off to your stations to prepare for the fight that was about to ensue.

You went to stand at the front of the tank, detaching your sabers from your hips and holding them, still deactivated, at your sides while Rex manned the cannon. “Wolffe, bring us around”, you heard him yell to his fellow trooper. The tank began to turn, changing its direction to head straight for the walkers now in front of you.

As you made your approach the walkers began blasting the tank. You blocked a few shots with your sabers but weren’t able to deflect them all since they were shooting from two separate angles. One blast had the tank faltering and falling in the front, causing you to have to hold on to the railing in front of you so as not to fall. You looked behind you to the trooper driving the huge machine. “Wolffe, get us level”, you yelled to him.

“Yes General”, he said firmly. He then pulled the levers in his hands toward him and upwards, causing the tank to begin to lift in the front before finally being back on its feet once more. You took your defensive stance up again once you were able to get your footing. You were coming up quickly on the walkers and were desperately trying to come up with a crazy plan to take them out, if memory served you the craziest plans always seemed to be the most effective. You were halfway through your thinking when you heard Wolffe shout from behind you. “I’m going for the legs, all four of them.”

You turned to him with an incredulous look. “Are you crazy, there’s no way that’ll work”, you said, raising your voice over the commotion surrounding you.

“Never know until we try”, he responded.

You were about to argue against the idea until you remembered your previous thought. It was a crazy idea, so it just might work. You jump to the position right above him, looking down through the glass. “Alright then, have at it Commander”, you told him encouragingly.

He nodded and pushed forward, ramming the tank into the walker ahead. It seemed to be working, until it wasn’t, the tank now with its front legs halfway up the walker’s. You were almost sure that you would all be turned upside down any minute. You thought fast. You did have one plan, maybe impossible given your lack of practice over the years, but it was worth a shot. However, before you could put your plan into action you heard Rex shouting from somewhere behind you. “Come out and fight, you cowards”, he yelled to the men in the walker. He was standing on top of the cannon, and right in the line of fire. You cursed at him internally before leaping toward him, landing right in front of him, sabers ready to block the inevitable blast. Although, it never came. Before they could retaliate, the walker was shot from the side, throwing it off balance enough to distract them from their attack. You looked to see the Phantom fly under it and make its way to the second walker, you then saw Ezra, Kanan, and Zeb jump from the starfighter and land on its head before using their sabers to cut the hatch off and enter the machine. You grinned, and before you could voice the thought, Rex did it for you. “Just like the old days”, he said.

You turned, still grinning, to look at him. “Speaking of…”, you didn’t finish before running up the barrel of the cannon, replacing your sabers on your hips along the way.

“Wait, what are you doing”, he asked, concerned.

“Can’t let them show me up now can I”, you asked him, sending a playful wink over your shoulder. You used your higher position to launch yourself upward toward the first walker and was able to grab onto one of the blasters on the side of its head. You then swung yourself toward the top, landing much more gracefully than you’d expected to. You then drew your sabers and repeated the actions of the other two force-wielders, cutting a hole in the head and jumping down into it. You took your attack stance as soon as you were in, but when you looked around there was no one there. Walking to the control panel, you looked out to see the scene below and a movement from your right caught your eye. It was the imperials that had been manning the very walker you were in now; they had evacuated and were now fleeing on a speeder bike. “Huh, they really are cowards”, you said out loud to yourself.

Rex was below, now back in his seat behind the cannon. He was waiting to take the shot until he knew you were out. He wasn’t about to take that risk and was about to call the whole idea off when he saw something shoot out the head of the walker. He squinted to see better and nearly jumped out of his seat when you landed on the barrel of the cannon, giving a little mischievous grin when you noticed you’d startled him.

Rex shook his head. “So, did ya get ‘em”, he asked, eyebrow cocked and grinning back.

You jumped down, coming to stand next to him. “Nah, those hut’unns turned tail before I could even get to them. Took off that way”, you said, pointing in the direction you saw the speeder go.

“Oh, well then I guess there’s no need to blast this thing then”, he said, gesturing to the walker, “and just when we got the power restored, ah well.” You could see the slight disappointment on his face.

“You could still blast it you know”, you told him.

“To what purpose, they’re already gone.”

You laid a hand on his shoulder. “For no other purpose then the satisfaction of seeing this hunk of junk fall”, you said with a smile.

He grinned at you. “Have I told you how much I love you lately”, he asked.

You bent down so your face was next to his. “Yeah, but it’s always nice to hear it anyway”, you said, giving him a quick peck on the cheek before straightening and standing behind him.

Rex took the shot and you all watched as the walker fell to the ground. “You were right, that was satisfying.”

***

You and Rex had decided to leave the quiet life behind for now and join the rebellion, after a bit of convincing from Ezra and Sabine that is. You had said your goodbyes to Wolffe and Gregor before you left.

“So, I guess this is goodbye then”, Wolffe said, looking a bit downcast.

You laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. “For now, but we’ll all see each other again”, you said, giving him a reassuring smile.

He gave a breathy chuckle. “Did the force tell you that”, he asked sarcastically. He always loved messing with you like that.

You rolled your eyes. “No, but it didn’t need to, I just know. Besides, you guys can’t get rid of us that easily”, you said smirking at them.

Gregor came to stand beside you draping an arm over your shoulders. “Well good, because we don’t want to”, he said, smiling wide. You laughed. Gregor was always the one to lighten the mood, always the chipper one, and so damn optimistic that it almost annoyed you sometimes, but you had to love him for it. You loved all your boys for who they were and for what made them unique, this affection only grew after the war when you all decided to live together in seclusion, and you got to know them better.

During the war it always seemed like there wasn’t enough time to properly get to know all your men, especially the ones outside of the 501st, who you’d been more often affiliated with. However, on the rare occasions where you did work outside of your Legion you tried to widen your friend group, meeting other troopers and their commanding officers, befriending all who would have you. As a jedi you knew this wasn’t advised seeing as you were not to form attachments and all, but at the time you really didn’t care, still didn’t in fact, and looking back you were glad you hadn’t. You knew that throughout the war you would lose many of these friends, and it wouldn’t be easy, but you had accepted that and would take it in stride as it came, because in the end you knew that these friendships would do more good than hurt. Sometimes, a lot of times, all these men needed was a good friend, an ear to listen to the chaos within their minds after hard battles, and on occasion even a shoulder to cry on. You were willing to be all these things for them and did it with as much grace and kindness as you could. It was due to this that it was so easy for Wolffe and Gregor to trust you after the war. Even with their chips removed, they were still confused for a long while, not knowing who to trust but each other, but with you they found it to be much easier, remembering all the times you had been there for them and their men and knowing you would never do anything to betray their trust. Yes, you loved your newfound family, and you’d do anything to keep them safe, which is why you’d finally agreed to join the fight to take down the Empire, it was the only way to make sure they’d never come after your men again. Although, it was still hard to say goodbye.

You looked between the two men, an almost sad smile forming on your face and before you could even think you’d brought them both into a tight hug, one which they returned in kind. “Just don’t do anything too reckless while we’re gone, okay”, you requested, pulling back with a kind smile and wiping the tear that had fallen down your cheek away with your fingertips.

“We’ll do our best General”, Gregor stated with a nod. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes at him for addressing you by rank, you weren’t going to argue, not now.

Rex came to stand beside you, facing his brothers. “You both did excellent work today, I have no doubt you’ll handle yourselves in whatever is to come, but let’s hope you won’t have to”, he said with a grin, clapping them both on the shoulder.

“Well, if you ever need us, you know where to reach us”, Wolffe said, clamping his hand over Rex’s forearm, a gesture you had seen exchanged from brother to brother many times before, and it brought a warm feeling to your chest every time. Rex nodded before releasing them and bringing an arm to wrap around your waist, its constant home over the years. “You two stay safe alright? I don’t want to have to find replacements for you, not that there even is such a thing”, Wolffe said with a sideways grin.

You smiled at this and then straightened your posture, giving your men a formal salute and holding it, Rex following suit, standing in the same position beside you. The two commanders returned the salute. After a moment you relaxed and returned to a normal standing position, everyone else doing the same. “Until we see each other again”, you said.

“Until we see each other again”, the two men echoed your words simultaneously.

***

You had docked the rebel ship and were following the Ghost crew down the brightly lit hallways before turning a corner and coming to a stop. You knew before they parted to let you both pass who would be standing on the other side, you had felt her familiar force signature as soon as you had boarded.

Rex stepped forward first, walking toward the smiling togruta. “Commander”, he addressed his old friend. “You got old.”

Ahsoka chuckled. “Had to happen sometime Rex”, she replied. She looked hesitant for a moment before embracing him in a tight hug.

You watched the interaction between the two, smiling to yourself, realizing just how long it had been since you had seen your friend, it felt like ages now. As you were in this train of thought Ahsoka pulled back from the embrace and suddenly looked over his shoulder, something catching her eye. “(Y/N)”, she said, it almost came out as a sigh.

Ahsoka walked to you and pulled you into a tight embrace as well, which you happily returned. “Hey Ahsoka, it’s been a while”, you said with a laugh.

Releasing each other from the hug, you both looked at one another. “I think that’s a bit of an understatement”, she responded, giving a light laugh of her own before the two of you turned to Rex.

“We’re just glad you’re still alive”, he said to her. You put a hand on her shoulder, giving a confirming nod.

“You too”, she said, looking between you and Rex.

“Well, we wouldn’t be if it weren’t for these guys”, Rex stated, gesturing to the crew behind you.

“Thank you for trusting my friend”, Ahsoka said, seeming to direct her thanks mainly to Kanan, who was surprisingly much less angry than you last remember sensing.

“It wasn’t easy”, Kanan confessed to her, “It still isn’t.”

You and Rex shared a saddened glance and you silently wondered if Kanan would ever come around, but you also made the decision to try not and push the topic, not now at least.

“Nothing worth doing ever is”, Ahsoka told him, and with that you all walked to the command center, for a rebellion is not built on pleasantries.

***

After a brief discussion of the next course of action, you had been dismissed to settle in, and were led to the room that you and your husband would be sharing for the time being. Before you could even sit down there was a knock at the door and you were surprised to find it was Sabine, asking to borrow you for a little while. You had agreed, albeit a bit hesitantly, wondering what the young girl could possibly need you for, especially with that excited glint in her eye. You shrugged at your confused spouse before following her out of the room.

Awhile later you returned, quite pleased with the outcome of your little surprise endeavor with the Mandalorian girl, who was very happy with herself when all was said and done. You entered your shared quarters and stopped just after entering, letting the door slide shut behind you. This got Rex’s attention and he turned to you from where he was seated, his smile dropping as soon as he properly laid eyes on you, his features morphing into a look of shocked admiration, and quickly closed his mouth that had opened in a slight gape.

He blinked a few times before finally speaking. “Cyar’ika you look…”, he started to say, but found he couldn’t think of the proper word to articulate what he was thinking at the moment.

You smiled. “You like it”, you asked, bringing your hands up to touch your hair, which was now styled in a way that complemented the shape of your face perfectly and now sported dyed blue tips. Sabine had also given you a fresh pair of clothes that she thought would fit you nicely. They did fit, even though they were a bit tighter than you would’ve liked, and the cut on the long-sleeved top was a bit lower than you were used to, but it was still high enough for you to consider it conservative, well conservative enough. Although, with the way your husband was staring at you now, you were grateful for these aspects, seeing just how much he was appreciating the way the outfit hugged your curves by the way his eyes scanned you from head to foot.

He stood and walked the short distance to you, taking your hands in his. “Like it? I love it, you look absolutely stunning, downright delectable even”, he said with a wicked grin.

You smacked his chest lightly, shaking your head. “And here I thought I married and gentleman”, you said, not being able to hide the grin that was forming.

“Oh, you did, it’s just that you have this incredible talent of pushing me to my limit at times, especially when you come in looking like this”, he said, eyeing you up again.

You blushed under his gaze. “Well, at least I know I’ve still got it”, you said, giving him a playful smirk.

He suddenly pulled you to his chest, wrapping his arms around your waist to keep you secure against him, your faces only inches apart now. “Cyare, you never lost it”, he said cocking an eyebrow as he continued to grin at you, and with that you pulled him into a loving kiss, one that he quickly leaned into and deepened.

You pulled away after a bit to make eye contact once more. Rex released one of his arms from around you to bring his hand up to your hair, lightly playing with the tips between his fingers. “I like the hair too, always did think this color suited you.”

You gave a slight shrug. “You know me, always more than willing to support my boys in blue.”

You both shared a small laugh before catching each other’s lips in another kiss, this one a bit more tender than the last.

“So is this a bad time to talk about how I might be wishing we'd rethought our decision about not having kids”, he asked in a low voice once you two parted from the kiss.

You blinked, surprised by the sudden shift in topics. “Umm, alright, what brought this on”, you asked.

He looked to the hand that was still playing with your hair, not wanting to make direct eye contact as he spoke his next words. “Well, it's just that, seeing you with Ezra earlier today, it made me realize, you'd make a great mother, and I almost feel like we've missed out on something special, and this isn’t exactly the first time the thought has crossed my mind. I’ve always wondered if we were making the right call not having a child of our own, but you seemed happy with our life together and I didn’t want you to ever feel pressured, I wanted it to be your choice, I still do.”

“Rex are you trying to tell me you want to have children”, you asked.

“Maybe, but not if you don’t, I mean… do you”, he asked, a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

“Well, I won't say I've never thought about it, especially in the early years of our relationship. I'd often wonder what it would be like to have a little version of you running around."

“Or you”, he said with a smile.

You smile. “I guess it would be nice to have an addition to the family, and I'm sure the boys would make great uncles. Well, maybe with some supervision”, you say, chuckling out that last part.

“Really”, he asked, clearly a bit surprised by your response.

“Rex, I know I won't be able to keep you for as long as I'd like, I accepted that reality a long time ago”, you said, sliding your palm against his causing him to let go of the piece of hair he was still holding and intertwining your fingers with his, “but maybe if I have something of you left after, something we created together, then maybe I'll be able to continue on because I'll still be living for you, or at least a part of you." You were desperately trying to keep the tears you felt building behind your eyes from making their way out. You hated thinking about this, your husband’s shortened life span was never a topic you wanted to think about for too long, it was a reality you did not care to observe in your everyday life, but reality it was, and you knew someday you would have to face it. Just not today.

He pulled you closer with the arm still around your waist. “Oh Cyar'ika, I love you so much”, he said, kissing your forehead.

“And I love you, with all my heart.”

“So, we're really doing this then?”

You giggled at his noticeable excitement. “Yes, we're really doing this”, you confirmed. He then let go of your hand and cupped your cheek, pulling you into a kiss so full of love it nearly took the breath right out of you. You laughed once you managed to pull away again, trying to get your next thought out. “We can start trying when we have some time to ourselves.”

“We have time now”, he said, swiftly moving his hands to firmly grip your hips and pull you flush against him. Your senses left you for a second, heat rushing to your face and chest at the implication, before you were able to compose yourself.

You chuckled, coming back to your senses. “Actually, we don't. We've been asked to help pick the location for the rebel base. They figured since we were the ones to give the intel that we'd be able to find the safest place. I'm sure they've already started reviewing the list, so we'd better get going”, you said, a bit annoyed at the fact, there were much better things you could be doing, but you did promise to do whatever you could to help in this rebellion. Damn, why’d you always have to be the responsible one?

Rex broke you from your inner ramblings with another heated kiss that had you weak in the knees. “Alright fine, but tonight you're all mine”, he said against your lips.

“Deal. Now let's go, we're late”, you said, still smiling like a lovesick teenager and reluctantly pulling away from his embrace, which he did not want to make easy, but eventually gave in and released you.

As you made your way to the door, trying to compose yourself once again, he spoke. “Hopefully soon you'll be the one who’s late”, he said, taking you by surprise yet again.

You turned and raised an eyebrow at him and jokingly asked, “Okay, who are you, and where is the Rex I married?”

He laughed, coming to stand in front of you and leaning in slightly. “What can I say cyar’ika, you’ve made me bold”, he said, giving you a mischievous smile.

You shake your head and opened the door, taking him by the hand and leading him out into the corridor. “Alright, alright. Come on Stud, we have to go”, you said and began making your way to the bridge of the ship, “and save the dirty talk for tonight okay?” You grinned at him over your shoulder, continuing to pull him along.

He smiled and quickened his stride to walk alongside you, lacing his fingers with yours. “Yes Ma’am”, he responded softly.

You couldn’t seem to keep the smile off your face, for several reasons. The main two being that you knew you had quite the night ahead of you, thank the force for the private quarters, and you were thrilled at the idea of having Rex’s child. You weren’t sure what this new future would hold for the both of you, but you were ready to find out.

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rainydaydream-gal18 · 3 years

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Bad Batch x Jedi!Reader: Ghosts

(Author’s Note: I’m baaaacccck! I’ve had a rough few weeks and found almost no inspiration or motivation to write here, but I woke up this morning and felt like a new person. Thank you for waiting and for continuing to read, like, comment, and reblog!

Anyway, this was a request I received moons ago, and I just wanted to say to the Anon who requested that I did not forget about it and I’m so sorry for the wait. For real, thank you for the request, and I hope you like it.

OG Request: Can I request a bad batch and reader who was their sister, they were also a Jedi. But then order 66 happens and the bad batch tries to kill her but she escaped after being shot by crosshair. She ends up working with the ghost crew and meets up with them during rebels, she's almost scared of them. She also tears up seeing how much older the are

Warnings: blaster wound, some angst, fluff ending)

Got your back,” you growled, using your lightsaber to block some incoming shots. Hunter fired his blasters at the group of oncoming droids that headed toward you.

Wrecker was plowing through the enemy squads like it was nothing, giving an enthusiastic yell here and there. He paused to give you a thumbs-up with a gloved hand, and you grinned back. Crosshair was picking them off from his position off the immediate battlefield. He blasted one right in front of you.

“Nice shot!”

Tech was handling things just fine on his side. You moved past him to cut through a few droids nonetheless and exchanged nods of appreciation.

Just another day with the Bad Batch, the rogue squad that had come to be your family over the course of the war. You had adjusted to living life on the wild side- dangerous missions and poor odds. The group managed to get through each one, and you grew stronger.

This mission, to invade and destroy the Separatist base from the inside out, was a particularly risky one. But like the others, this one was going rather well.

Or it had been. Until Tech alerted Hunter of an incoming comm that was rather urgent.

You didn’t see who the transmission was from. You caught a glimpse of the blue form displaying on Tech’s comm before having to deal with an oncoming droid. You planted a thermal detonator and somersaulted away so it could blast the last of the droids, and you’d be ready to check in with your squad about the comm.

As the battlefield went dead silent after the fall of the final droid, there was a shift. That was the best way to describe the feeling. Something just wasn’t right. You glanced over to see Hunter and Tech standing perfectly still as they received the message. That’s when it hit you. Whatever it was, it was deadly, and you knew you needed to get your squad out of there.

You turned fully toward them, lips parting in the beginnings of a warning about the shift in your feelings. You could only hope they’d listen to you and get out in time without an argument. Your voice was cut off at the sight of three visors facing you with blasters aimed your way.

“Guys?” you called, eyes flickering to each of them. “Hunter? What’s going on?”

Two more visors, Crosshair’s and Echo’s, joined them. Cross kept his rifle ready at his shoulder, aimed at you as well. That’s when you realized they weren’t in danger. They were the danger.

“The jedi are traitors to the Republic,” Hunter’s voice echoed in the space between you. “By order of Sidious, they are to be executed for their crimes, and that includes you.”

“W-what?” You grasped your lightsaber tightly, not wanting to raise it and alarm them further. “I haven’t done anything. We’ve been fighting for the Republic. See those droids?” You nodded in that direction. “I cut them up myself with my lightsaber to protect the galaxy. We did it together.”

“Stop trying to reason with us,” Crosshair hissed. “You’re...a...traitor.” He hesitated, body quivering for a moment as his visor looked to the ground. Whatever cloud of confusion had settled on him, it was like he tried to fight it.

“It’s me,” you said. “It’s __________.”

Hunter’s body shook again before he aimed the blaster at you with resolve. “You heard Sidious, boys. Order 66 must be carried out.”

Searing pain traveled through your shoulder as you made a run for it, causing you to stumble. You spared a glance behind you to see the Bad Batch giving chase. Crosshair had actually shot you. A different kind of pain exploded in your chest at the betrayal. Even though you knew this Sidious was behind it all. Even though you knew it wasn’t the real Crosshair. It still hurt.

Despite the physical and emotional agony, you kept running. You deflected more blaster shots with your lightsaber, using your abilities to leap into the nearest ship. The presence of your closest allies began to fade as you took off, leaving to shoot at the vehicle to no avail.

Fortunately, you and the squad handled dangerous missions on your own without too much Republic assistance, so you were able to get into space without encountering any other soldiers. When things quieted down and you were faced with the blur of stars and planets outside the viewport, you shrank back in your seat from the weight of grief. For the first time, you allowed yourself to grieve. The life of a jedi was by no means easy, but you were trained for years to not give into such strong attachments to avoid the dark side’s pull.

This time, you let the tears fall for your squad. You let the sob rip through the lonely ship. It was a relief to cry, but not enough to dull the pain. It was like a fresh wound, raw and stinging.

“Crosshair, Hunter, Wrecker, Echo, Tech…” you cried their names, demanding an answer from no one in particular. Just then, a beep sounded amongst the ship controls that alerted you of an incoming message. You sniffled and answered, eyes widening at the sight of Jedi Obi Wan Kenobi.

“...I regret to inform you…”

- - - - - - - - -

“__________? What are you doing?” Ezra called. “We’ve got to go!”

You glanced his way from several feet away, holding up a hand as a signal for him to wait. Something felt off about this place. It was a feeling you hadn’t felt in a long time. A long time.

“Is this a jedi thing?” he asked, walking over. Despite being quite skilled and talented for one so young, he was still very early in his training with Kanan. Nothing could quell his curiosity, though.

You nodded. “There’s something...someone...here. I think I know them.”

“It’s just an old ship,” he shrugged. “It is a scrapyard, after all.”

It was a good point. The place looked rather abandoned to the naked eye, but you could see beyond appearances. There was more to this ship than just a heap of metal. Something felt oddly alive about it.

“I’m going to check it out,” you said.

“But Hera said-”

“Ezra,” you interrupted with as patient of a tone as you could muster. “I need to do this. I’ll be right back.” You took a few cautious steps forward only to hear him walking behind you. You peeked at him over your shoulder to see a determined expression on his face.

“If something really is going on, I’m not letting you go in there alone.”

“Ugh, fine,” You pretended to be annoyed, though deep down you were glad he was coming along. Something stirred inside you. You sensed a presence that you hadn’t in years. Could it be…? No, it couldn’t.

“__________?” The all-too-familiar voice called. A face popped out from the old ship. Even among the wrinkles and white hair, you recognized a piercing set of brown eyes. Your own eyes widened as your instincts took over, and you turned to bolt. “No, wait!”

“Stay back!” Ezra warned, hands raised to the figure that emerged from the ship quickly. A much taller figure stepped out, and this fellow threw his head back and laughed.

You froze in place, taking in the aged faces before you. None of them held the same conflict in their gaze as they had the last time you were with them. They held their hands up as a gesture that they carried no weapons.

“_________, it’s alright,” Echo called. “We mean you no harm.”

“Please, don’t go.” Hunter’s tone sounded so pleading; it made you want to cry. You did not sense any evil intent on their part. It was a good sign that they were no longer under Emperor Palpatine’s control. Over the years, you discovered what exactly had happened to your squad. Old Republic files you’d hacked revealed that something known as Order 66 had occurred, and you had pieced together the horrible plot to overthrow the jedi. Like the others, you had to stay hidden- even from the Bad Batch.

“How do I know this isn’t a trick?” you asked hesitantly.

Tech took a step forward, and you gripped the handle of your lightsaber as a warning not to approach. His eyes flickered to the weapon before he took a step back. “After Order 66, the new Empire retired us. I had quite a bit of free time, and while doing some research, I stumbled upon a report: it told me all about these biological chips.”

“And we removed them!” Wrecker said. He turned his head to the side, his pointer finger tapping on a scar on the bald skin. By then, you started walking towards them. You couldn’t believe how they had aged so much. You were in front of Crosshair first, reaching a hand up to touch his weathered face. He didn’t tense like he used to every time you accidentally brushed against him. As a matter of fact, he even smiled a little. Age had worn down his tough-guy act.

“It’s...good to see you,” he said.

Then, all at once, the tears started flowing. It was like you picked up right where you left off all those years ago. You threw your arms around him, and after a few moments of crying into his shoulder, you felt his arms come up to hold you comfortingly. “Cross...I missed you so much!”

“I missed you too.”

“Hey,” Wrecker grunted. “I missed you! Don’t I get a hug?”

You laughed through the tears and turned to give him a hug only to be lifted off the ground in a familiar, enveloping embrace- the kind only Wrecker could give. He set you down laughing with you, and you pulled Echo and Tech into a little group hug. They both smiled widely, Echo chuckling, as you pulled them tighter. Then, you were faced with an aged Hunter who looked conflicted. You could feel his warmth and happiness to see you, but he also carried guilt. You quickly wrapped your arms around him, and he hugged back.

“__________,” he murmured. “I’m...sorry-”

“Not another word,” you interrupted. “It wasn’t your fault. None of you are to blame.”

“But-”

“Not another word,” you insisted, flashing him a smile. He returned with a handsome grin that showed the old Hunter even through his aged appearance. It brought more tears to your eyes. “I’m so glad we all found our way back together.”

“Um, __________?” Ezra spoke up. He gave a shrug, confused about the interaction.

“I’ll explain,” you told him. “Bad Batch, this is my friend, Ezra. Him and I are members of a crew that does what it can to mess with the Empire.”

“Oh yeah?” Wrecker asked. “As soon as our chips were removed, that’s what we started doing.”

“Really?”

“Indeed, we’ve made significant progress,” Tech said.

“Well,” you sighed, resting a hand on his shoulder plate. “What do you say we regroup and mess with the Empire together?”

“I think…” Hunter stroked his chin in thought. “I think that sounds like a great idea.”

#clone wars #star wars: the clone wars #bad batch #star wars the bad batch #clone wars the bad batch #bad batch x reader #bad batch reader insert #star wars rebels #star wars reader insert #star wars #the clone wars reader insert #clone wars x reader #jedi!reader #bad batch x jedi!reader #tech #crosshair #hunter #echo #wrecker

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basura2319 · 4 years

Text

Who lives, who dies

Pairing: Rex x reader (gender neutral)

Anonymous said:

“Hey! I’ve recently gotten back into the clone wars and Rex has stolen my heart 😂 would you be willing to do a Rex x Jedi!Reader but with a bit of angst where it’s older Rex in the Rebels series and he talks about the reader to Ezra? I hope that made sense 😂”

WC: 2.5K

Warnings: Takes place in Rebels, Ezra being nosy, angst, character death, blood, *S7 spoilers for tcw finale*, and things in italics are flashbacks.

A/N: I hope I did this fic some justice and sorry for making you wait so long. I had to force myself to rewatch the last episode a second time because that episode really messed me up, anyone else feel that way?

Rex never thought that he would be serving again since the Clone Wars. But times were changing and ever since the Ghost Crew came to him for help, he thought long and hard about joining a cause like the Rebellion. And when he did, it made him feel almost happy that he was doing something purposeful again. Something he’s choosing to be a part of. But at the same time, whenever he went on missions and saw rebels dying, ones he grew newly acquainted with, it brought back tons of memories he spent so much time on Seelos trying to repress.

Memories of his dying brothers, of Anakin and Ahsoka, and especially of you. Which was why he was outside of Chopper Base. Sleep eluded him right now and on those days when couldn’t sleep, he went outside to sit underneath Atollon’s night sky to think.

He sat on one of the crates by the shooting range and pulled out a hologram. With shaky hands, he turns it on and a tentative smile falls onto his lips at the image he sees.

It was a hologram of him—his younger self—and you, smiling at each other. Judging by the clothes you both wore, someone could look at the hologram and never guess that he was a soldier and you were a Jedi knight. But you were more than just a Jedi; you were his love. His everything. And this hologram, Rex thought, was his most prized possession. Because showed it a time in his life when he was in utter bliss. A feeling he would never have again.

Rex felt tears begin to build up as he gazes over your face again for the thousandth time. The light in your (e/c) eyes as you look to Rex and the crinkle on the edges of your eyes as you smiled. He remembered the day this hologram was taken. You convinced Rex to join you on a night around Coruscant. You had been the one to take the image without his knowing and you gave him a copy of it to keep. Since then, he has kept it with him at all times, as it is the only thing he has to remember you by.

He blinks the wetness in his eyes away. How he wished things turned out different. If only he believed Fives. If only he didn’t answer that incoming call from the Chancellor. If only they got out of the blazing cruiser fast enough. If only—

CRASH!

Rex immediately clicked the hologram shut and reached for his blaster, aiming at whatever made the crates behind him, he noted, fall over.

“Whose there” He growled. “Show yourself.”

It was probably those Atollon spiders again. How did they get inside the base?

“Relax! It’s just me!” said a panicked voice behind the crates. “Ezra!”

Rex sighed in relief. It was just the kid.

“What are you doing here?” asked Rex in exasperation, giving the boy a stern glare.

“I would ask you the same thing,” Ezra replied with raised brow. “Seeing as how you’re just…sitting here, doing what exactly?”

“That is none of your business,” said Rex sternly.

“Okay then,” he said sheepishly. “Well I guess my being here is none of your business so—”

“Ezra.”

“Alright,” he groaned. “I came out here to practice my lightsaber forms, see.” He waved his lightsaber around as proof. “And well…”

Ezra stared at the ground in shame. “And then I saw you by yourself a-and I didn’t mean to spy on you. I was—”

“Kid,” sighed Rex, feeling a slight tingle of warmth reach his face. “It’s alright.”

Rex shouldn’t feel embarrassed. It’s not like he could in trouble for possessing the only image of you he had. And it’s not like Ezra understood the context of what he saw.

He opened his mouth to say something but stopped seeing the way Ezra looked at him. Something akin to concern? Pity? The young boy looked as if he had more to say.

“Something wrong?”

“No—it’s,” Ezra said hesitantly. “That person—in that hologram— I know them.”

Rex furrowed his brows in confusion. “How?” You died before Ezra was born.

“Kanan has these holo-recordings he’s been showing me,” Ezra began. “They’re mainly Jedi Knights teaching how to do a certain form. I saw them teaching a session on how to do the Soresu form, their name, I think, is—”

“Jedi Knight (Y/N) (L/N),” Rex finished hoarsely. The first time in a while since he had said your name out loud.

“You don’t have to answer this,” Ezra said with a curious tone in his voice. “But, did you work with them?”

Rex smiled, recalling all the adventures you both had. “I did, in fact (Y/N) was part of Torrent Company.”

He sat back down on the crate and so did Ezra. “I met them a little after I met Commander Tano.” He chuckled. “They came in to save our forces after the disastrous stunt we pulled off in Felucia. Had they not came in to rescue us, we would have died trying to fend off those clankers.”

Rex, in his mind, remembered it all. You coming out of nowhere with gunships, screaming at Anakin to fall back. He recalled Skywalker being almost stunned at your presence.

“What are you doing all the way out here (Y/N),” Rex remembered Anakin asking you as they got inside the gunships.

“Here to save your ass,” you commented back. “Only this time from a battlefield instead of from Master Kenobi.”

Anakin chuckled. “Always with the quip remarks.”

“We both trained together since we were kids,” you stated with an arched brow. “Why are you surprised?”

“So you’re a general now?” he asked.

“No,” you answered with a knowing grin. “But I am assigned to one.”

“No way!”

You threw your head back and laughed. “You better believe it.”

“Well then, I should introduce to my second in command, other than you,” he said, smirking at the offended huff you made. “Meet Captain Rex.”

He remembered you reaching out to him as you hung to the straps of the gunship to shake his hand. “Hello Captain, I’m (Y/N) (L/N), but please call me (Y/N).”

He was so entranced by your smile that he almost forgot you were speaking to him.

“Nice to meet you (Y/N),” he said, silently thanking the force that he had his helmet on so you couldn’t see the tinge of red in his cheeks. “And please, call me Rex.”

Rex smiled at the memory. “(Y/N) was a very clever Jedi, but most importantly they were compassionate. They treated us clones like equals and was always there to listen and understand our grievances.”

“They sound amazing,” Ezra replied. “I would’ve loved to meet them.”

Rex paused. “I think (Y/N) would’ve loved to train you and certainly wouldn’t hesitate for a second to be apart of this rebellion if they knew what became of the Republic we both swore to protect.”

His smile disappeared. He really wished you were here to see this.

Ezra looked to Rex with sadness. He could feel the clone veteran’s grief so strongly and could also feel his love for you; just like how he could feel the love between his parents as a kid before the Empire took that all away.

“They didn’t make because if the order did they?”

“No…” said Rex hoarsely. “If it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t even be here…”

Everything fell apart after Mandalore.

He had no idea he was going to be forced to kill (Y/N) and Ahsoka by just one simple command that was enough to overpower his senses.

While Ahsoka managed to escape the blaster fire from him and his men, he was relieved to learn after his chip was removed that you were in your quarters when the order happen, giving you time to hide in the vents.

He was so afraid that his men might’ve gotten you. But he could see the fear and realization on your face when he woke up from his chip removal.

“Fives…” you said in a hushed voice as you three ran to open the hangar doors. “He was right about everything.”

Rex reached for your hand and gave a hard squeeze. “I know, but it weren’t for him, I would’ve killed…”

He couldn’t say it. The thought of you or Ahsoka being executed out of his own will, he—

He just didn’t want to imagine it.

But things worsened. The cruiser was beginning to break apart as they got out of hyperspace and the cruiser was on its way to crashing on a moon.

His men. His brothers who he loved so much, were all waiting for them at the main hangar. Willing to kill themselves trying to complete the mission.

Tears were streaming down his face as he argued this realization to you and Ahsoka.

You knew more than anyone how he felt. Removing his helmet, you pressed you forehead against his in affection. “Rex…it’s okay. I know your brothers. Ahsoka and I know that they are good soldiers and this isn’t their fault.”

He knew they might not have a chance in finding a ship and leaving, but he went with the plan of trying to reason with Jesse, his little vod, on not killing you or Ahsoka. But Rex already knew his brother was long gone, lost somewhere in his mind. He was desperate when it didn’t work and they kept firing at them.

To add to the ongoing mess of things, their chance of escape was taken away by Maul when he took the last remaining shuttle.

They were reaching the moon’s surface rapidly and running out of time.

“Wait,” you called out to Rex. “I see another unharmed ship. There!” You pointed to the Y-wing bomber.

You deflected the blaster shots away as you three ran towards it. Using the force, you wasted no time in pushing Rex towards the ship and jumping your way over.

“There’s only two seats!” exclaimed Rex in panic. “What do we do?”

Your heart seized at the problem. You looked over at Ahsoka who you realized didn’t make it over to the ship, still trying to hold the clones back. She wasn’t going to last long.

“Rex…” you called out, voice strained.

He looked to you, face contorted in anxiety. “What is it?”

You took his helmet off so you could stare at his face one last time. “You know that I love you, right?” you said breathlessly. “More than anything, more than life itself…”

“Y/N stop—“

You kissed him, one last time, savoring his lips as tears leaked from your eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

You shut the cockpit canopy before he could stop you. “I hope one day you can forgive me.”

He was screaming your name and it broke your heart in two. Rex tried opening the canopy but it was too late.

“Ahsoka go!” You force pushed the clones out of the way and continued to deflect your lightsaber against their firing.

“No, I’m not—”

You didn’t let her finish. Using your remaining strength, you push your friend towards the ship. Rex felt the cruiser begin to tilt, watching how it made you lose your balance and fall towards the opening of the hangar. The cruisers billowing speed and harsh winds caused the Y-wing bomber to fly out before Rex and Ahsoka had a chance to help you.

As Rex gained control of the ship, he maneuvered through the rubble trying to see if you were alive, possibly hanging onto debris. He didn’t see you. Instead moments later, he found your mangled body in the debris along with his brothers.

He fell to his knees, gathering your body in his arms and wept. His watery eyes gazed at your form, noting the blood matted on your head that must’ve been from something blunt that collided with your head. The dried blood from your nose and mouth. And the most haunting thing of all was your (e/c) eyes, staring lifelessly at the sky.

It only made him cry out in anguish.

Ahsoka watched from afar as her friend mourn, silently crying at everything that went down. She felt the connection between her and her master die and now, you were gone too. To save her and Rex.

Rex reached a shaky hand over to close your eyes. He didn’t want to leave you here, but what choice did he have? Someone was going to come to evaluate the site soon. They had to leave.

Rex and Ahsoka took one last look at the burial site they made and left with a creeping feeling of numbness. When they went into orbit, Rex stared at the moon below while reaching for his necklace that held the hologram of you he hid under his shirt.

Pressing the device to his lips he whispered, “I love you… and I forgive you, my cyare”

They made the jump to hyperspace, uncertain of what their future would entail now.

***

“Did you ever go back to the crash site?” Ezra asked a little after Rex finished talking.

“No,” sighed Rex. “The place for all I know could be swarming with Imperial probe droids or they probably took whatever they deemed important.”

Ezra reached over to put a hand on his shoulder in a comforting gesture. “I might not know (Y/N), but from what you’ve told me, I think they would be proud of where you are now.”

Rex smiled at the young Jedi. “I’d like to think so too.”

***

All beings become one with the Force after death.

That’s what you’ve been told along with all Jedi.

Yet you didn’t feel like you were apart of the Force. Sure you could feel it binding you, but it was nothing like you’ve imagined. You thought that after death, you wouldn’t recall your past life, but you did. Or that you wouldn’t be aware of anything that’s happening in the universe.

You are able to see and acknowledge what’s become of this universe. And you're horrified of it. You’re horrified of what you know.

The only thing you’re thankful for is that the one’s you cared about made it out alive.

Ahsoka, you gathered, is following a path you knew suited her apart from the Jedi ways and you couldn’t be even more happy for her.

As for Rex, you never left his side after death, just not in the way you expected. He couldn’t see you. No one could unless they were Jedi. But that only happened when you wanted to be seen.

But you’ve watched over him after all this time and watched his struggle in adjusting to a new life as a free man. That didn’t mean you couldn’t feel his guilt though. His guilt that he lived whereas his brothers didn’t and lastly, his guilt over you.

You were filled with sadness whenever he grieved over you, like what he was doing now. Sitting by himself, staring at the hologram you gifted him.

You hated that you couldn’t talk to him or that you couldn’t give him some sort of comfort. There was so much you wanted to say to him, but oh how you couldn’t wait to speak to him to again. It’s only a matter of time.

For now, all you can do now is be in his presence, wishing he knew you were here.

#requests #captain rex #captain rex x reader #commander rex #commander rex x reader

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prepare4trouble · 5 years

Text

Star Wars Rebels fanfic - Together (an AU of an AU) Part 2/9

(part 1)

The lounge felt small with the six of them crowded in there at the same time. Ezra looked around and wondered, not for the first time, whether telling them together like this had been a mistake. Maybe it would have been easier to do it one or two at a time.

No, he decided. It probably wouldn’t help. At least this way it would be over with quickly. The conversation would be hard enough once, he wasn't going to be in a hurry to repeat the experience.

It was too late to change his mind anyway, everyone was here.

Kanan, Hera and Sabine were seated on the curved bench around the edge of the holotable, while Ezra took one of the stools and Zeb sat in his larger chair. Chopper lurked around the periphery, moving around occasionally, a few meters in one direction and then another, like he was trying to find the best place to watch the show.

“Okay kid, you got us all here,” Zeb said. “So, you want to tell us what’s so important we all had to drop everything and meet you here?”

He had never asked them to drop everything. In fact, he had explicitly stated that he didn’t want that, and that he just wanted to know when would be a good time to tell them something. It had been Hera, probably sensing that something was wrong, who had insisted that right now was as good a time as any.

The answer to Zeb’s question was no. He didn’t want to tell them. In fact, it was the last thing he wanted to do. He was going to do it anyway, because he owed it to them to tell them the truth.

As he drummed his fingers on the edge of the table, Kanan and Hera exchanged a worried glance. Even if he wanted to back out, he wouldn’t be able to. They knew something was wrong and they wouldn’t let him get away with leaving before he told them what it was.

He stood up. He had planned to be sitting for this, convinced that if he was on his feet, he might seize the opportunity to flee before he managed to get out the words that he needed to say. Now that it came to it, he realized that he needed to be standing. He needed to move around, to release the nervous energy in some way. Otherwise he would run, he could feel it.

He took a few steps away from the table, stopped and turned back.

“Ezra,” Hera began. “Whatever it is, we’ll…”  

“I’m going blind,” he blurted, cutting her off before she could make a promise she might not be able to keep.

A shocked silence fell over the room. Ezra realized that he was shaking from the surge of adrenaline had rushed through his body as he had finally uttered the words. He sucked in a deep breath. He didn’t know whether to run, or to sit down before he fell.

Ezra figured he had maybe a couple of seconds before they recovered from his revelation. A few short seconds before they showered him with questions that he didn’t know how to answer.

“I’m sorry,” he told them. “I didn’t know. Not until…”

He wasn’t sure exactly when he had figured out what was wrong. It hadn’t been the night he had realized he was the only one who couldn’t see the stars from the surface of a planet, or the day a medic asking him about his family medical history had helped him dredge up the memory of some syndrome whose name he couldn’t remember. It hadn’t been the night, lying in bed, when he had first realized he couldn’t see anything at all with the light out, or the day Chopper had switched off the lights while they were doing repairs and Ezra had found himself completely unable to see in a room he knew was partially illuminated. It hadn’t been the bruises he kept finding on his arms and legs from the times he had bumped into things as he walked past them.

It hadn’t even been the night he had stayed up late reading about Sacul Syndrome in a misguided attempt to reassure himself that he didn’t have it.

It hadn’t been any of those things, but at the same time it had been all of them. It had been a slow process of discoveries until one day everything had clicked into place and he had just known it was true.

Someone touched his shoulder from behind and Ezra flinched in surprise. He spun around to see Kanan right behind him. He hadn’t seem him get up or move. That was nothing to do with his sight, he had been deliberately looking in the other direction to avoid seeing their reaction. It hadn’t helped. He had still felt the wave of confusion, shock, and disbelief through the Force.

“You’re sure?” Kanan asked.

Ezra looked at the ground. “Yeah. As I can be.”

Hera was on her feet now too, Sabine and Zeb exchanged a glance across the table that Ezra couldn’t read.

“How sure is that?” Hera asked. “What is it? Is it something we can…”

Ezra shook his head. He didn’t have the words to explain it. He had, moments earlier. The whole thing had been carefully planned out in his mind, and he had imagined exactly how the conversation would go. He had been wrong. He hadn’t been prepared for it to be so hard.

“I’m sorry.” He backed away a few steps, then turned and bolted.

(next)

#star wars rebels #swr fanfic #ezra bridger #AU #AU of an AU #little by little #well it's LBL-ish...#AUAU

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kingdomheartsloversstuff · 6 years

Text

Ashla’s Will Chapter 3- Holding out Hope

Read it on AO3

Hey guys!! So whose not handle the end of Rebels? Not me that's for sure. Enjoy this chapter that may help you deal with no Rebels on Monday haha. Anyways enjoy!

He could only vaguely remember the last time he’d felt so empty, right after his parents had been ripped away from him. And then again when he thought Kallus had died the first time. He’d come back then, he knew this time though he wouldn’t come back. In the distance he’d heard the fighting and the sounds of blaster fire that had cut off just as suddenly as it had started, and when Kallus didn’t come back he knew exactly what had happened. His chest was so tight he could barely breathe, the only thing he could do was tightly cling onto Mr. Muttonchops and pray this was all some sort of horrible nightmare that he would wake up from.

As the hours slipped by though, he knew he wouldn’t wake up, his dad was gone. Ezra buried his face in Mr. Muttonchops fur, trying to think about simpler, happier times.

I can’t promise nothing will ever happen…but I swear I will do everything in my power to make sure you won’t ever be alone again.

But I am alone, Ezra bitterly thought. You abandoned me, you promised you wouldn’t and you did.

“Hello?” A voice called into the cave. Dev letting out a gasp of terror “Dev? Is that you?”

“You…I think I remember you…” Ezra slowly said wracking his brain for when he could have met him.

“I’m Zeb,” Zeb said, “Me and my friends are friends with your dad-“

“Were,” Ezra corrected, fighting back tears.

“Were?” Zeb asked.

“He’s gone,” Ezra whimpered “T-the Empire took him.”

“What do you mean?” Zeb asked.

“He ran back when he realized we were being followed and I-I heard blaster fire and then it just stopped a-and when he didn’t come back….h-he’s gone…” Ezra managed to get out. His dad was dead-

“The Empire took him, but we can get him back,” Zeb firmly said.

“No, not taken-“

“We saw where the fight was, he wasn’t there,” Zeb assured, “He’s alive.” Alive, the word filled him with a hope he didn’t think he’d ever feel again.

“We’ve got to get him back!” Ezra cried.

“We will,” Zeb firmly said, “Right Kanan?”

“We’ll talk to Hera,” Kanan said.

“Come on then!” Ezra cried, scrambling to his feet, scooping Mr. Muttonchops in his arms. Last time he lost a parent, he was too young to do anything about it, now he was no longer a helpless child. Now he could do something. Kallus had risked everything to get him off Lothal all those years ago, now it was time to return the favor. He would not lose anyone else to the Empire. “Where’s your ship?”

--------

All things considered, Kallus lasted longer than expected. He’d been able to get the drop on the first group of troopers that came through the hills, taking out 6 of them before they figured out his location and quickly overwhelmed him. A part of him hoped Kanan and Hera would arrive in the Ghost before he was overwhelmed and help him, but another was grateful. If they had come before he had been captured, but another knew it was for the best they didn’t. If they had arrived before he was captured, they would have tried to help, and Dev may have been dragged in as well and been captured as well, or worse.

No, as painful as it was it was better this way. He just wished he could have said goodbye to Dev and tell him he loved him and maybe seen Zeb one last time, ask him to look after Dev. He could only pray they would take care of Dev and protect him. Maybe help him find a new home? One with a family not being hunted by the Empire.

Kallus desperately clung onto that hope as he was dragged back to the city and towards one of the bigger Imperial complexes where he would no doubt be tortured for information before being executed for defecting from the Empire. At least he could die knowing Dev was safe, or safe as can be in a galaxy controlled by the Empire.

With rough hands Kallus was dragged into an interrogation room and strapped down into an interrogation chair, Briggs entering the room followed by an Interrogation droid.

“Agent Kallus,” He drawled, smirking at Kallus. “Comfortable?”

“How considerate,” Kallus said through gritted teeth.

Briggs smirk widened as he continued, “I must admit I was shocked to see you here, we were all certain you perished on Lasan with your comrades.”

“They were hardly my comrades when they started slaughtering children,” Kallus spat.

“Those monsters don’t deserve your pity,” Briggs said. “We’re better off with those things wiped from the universe!”

“No one deserves what the Empire did to Lasan!” Kallus exclaimed. “They were innocent-“

“Innocent?” Briggs exclaimed. “Where you not the sole survivor of the brutal massacre of your unit by a Lasat?”

“The actions of one Lasat didn’t speak for all of Lasan!” Kallus cried.

“So is that why you defected and joined the Empire?” Briggs asked, Kallus however remained silent, merely glaring at him. “What about that brat of yours? Dev Morgan?” When Kallus continued to refuse to answer, Briggs rolled his eyes and grumbled, “I was hoping to have a civilized conversation as former colleagues but it seems we’ll have to take more drastic measures.” The interrogation droid revealed a needle that Kallus knew held truth serum. It had been years since he’d had any training in resisting the effects of truth serum, he could only hope his training still held up.

The droid injected Kallus with truth serum, the effects quickly kicking in, his mind starting to go foggy. He’d forgotten how unpleasant the effects of the truth serum where.

“So…where are the rebels hiding?”

“Rebels….?” Kallus asked, mind struggling to understand the question. They thought he was a rebel? Why? Even in his confused state he knew it made no sense for them to think he was a rebel. There wasn’t a rebel presence on the planet, was there any real rebel presence anywhere outside of isolated cells?

“The Rebels,” Briggs repeated. “Where are they?”

“I don’t know…why would I?” Kallus said, unsure if it was the serum talking or him. It didn’t particularly matter either way, he truly had no idea where the rebels actually where.

“Hmm,” Briggs said, “Let’s give him another dose.” The next dose started to make his limbs heavier, the fog in his mind getting thicker, but not so much he couldn’t resist it. He hoped. “So let’s try again. Where are the rebels?”

“You wish I knew,” Kallus said with a mocking laugh. “Why do you think I’m a rebel?”

“You defected from the Empire, why else would yo- oh don’t tell me you left for that brat of yours?” Briggs asked.

“You will never get an answer that satisfies you,” Kallus laughed. He didn’t know why it was all so funny, but it was pissing Briggs off and that alone was fairly amusing.

“It seems the years have not dulled your training,” Briggs curiously said as the droid injected him with more serum. “Everyone though has a breaking point, even you ISB agents.”

“Keep telling yourself that, I’m sure eventually you’ll believe it,” Kallus said, the only thing keeping him upright the table he was strapped too.

“No one can completely resist truth serum,” Briggs said, “Even ISB agents. It’s only a matter of time.”

“In case you forgot, I was top of my class,” Kallus informed him. Focus on the truths he could tell, that was the key. Don’t think about the things he couldn’t say.

“I’m curious about the fate of your son Dev,” Briggs said. He was trying to throw him off balance, get him to start talking until he couldn’t stop. It wouldn’t work, he refused to let it work. He wouldn’t let the Empire touch Dev. “Did you leave him on Lothal? Abandoned him like his parents?” He was trying to rile him up, get him angry. He’d used that tactic before, he would not fall for it. “I wonder how Dev felt, being abandoned by his father for the second time.”

“No,” Kallus growled through clenched teeth. The words hit far too close to home. How did Dev feel? Alone in that cave, knowing he wouldn’t be coming back? No, focus, do not give in. I’m so sorry Dev. Please forgive me.

“Where is the boy?” Briggs demanded.

“Nowhere you will ever find,” Kallus growled. Truth…if he actually got off of the planet by now…no he had to. Hera, Kanan and Zeb would come, they swore they would come if he ever needed them, he’d never needed them more then now.

“Shame,” Briggs sighed. “I thought you’d want to say goodbye to him.”

“You won’t get your hands on him,” Kallus said. If they got to Dev in time, he would completely disappear and the Empire would never hurt him.

“We will,” A new voice said, Briggs whipping around to glare at the person joining them. From the uniform Kallus could see that he was ISB. “Kallus, I don’t believe we had the pleasure of meeting. I’m Agent Favvin” Kallus tried to recall who exactly Favvin was, but found himself drawing up a blank. Either he was completely unmemorable or he started in ISB after Kallus left. He briefly considered asking, but instead found himself saying,

“I’d hardly call it a pleasure.” It was probably was better he didn’t ask, he doubted he would actually answer.

“Perhaps not for you,” Agent Favvin agreed. “No amount of truth serum will work on him, all ISB agents where trained to resist them in the event of capture.”

“So how do we break him?” Briggs demanded.

“Pain,” Agent Favvin said, pressing the button to activate the electrocution, a scream of agony escaping his lips, despite trying to contain it with every fiber of his being. “Now, where are the rebels?”

“You’ll only get angrier…” Kallus gasped as the electrocution momentarily stopped. “You’ll never find out.” So they truly thought he was a rebel? Good, he could spend his final moments tormenting the Empire one last time as they tried in vain to get the information they so desperately sought. How long it would take them to realize he knew nothing, Kallus wasn’t sure, but he was certain they wouldn’t stop for a long time afterwards as punishment for abandoning the Empire.

“I was hoping you’d say that,” Favvin said as the electrocution started again, a scream of agony ripping through him once more. Kallus desperately clung onto the image of Dev beaming up at him, a reminder that it was all worth it. “It will be a pleasure to break you.”

#Kallus #Ezra Bridger #SWR #Star Wars Rebels #Alexsandr Kallus #Agent Kallus #Ashla's Will #Baby Ezra

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alizrak · 7 years

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Finished watching season 2 with my niece!

I finished watching Rebels Season 2 with my 10 year old niece and it was a wild ride! After the Season 1 finale, she had expected Ahsoka (who became her favorite character on Disney Infinity) to join the Rebels cast full-time but I reminded her that she already 'had a job' in the Rebellion and had other responsibilities... but would likely help them when needed. This post is obviously much longer than the previous review by the sheer amount of episodes in S2 (even if we skipped a couple) and because my niece started to make LOTS of questions at one point, which is great because she has started to slowly take in the lore.

There is one thing though. If I hadn't been there with her to answer her questions, I'm not sure she would have followed certain plot points. Season 1 did great by keeping it local in Lolthal but now that they were jumping around planets and started to bringing more people from the past, she had some trouble keeping track of the whole picture. I don't think she ever had to deal with so much story lore before on other shows. Didn't get all of the episodes but just the most important comments:

Siege of Lothal.

"What's Kanan's problem? He's being very rude. He wasn't like this..."

"She ((Minister Tua)) needs to leave or she might lose her head too"

"Is this a trap?... uhm... but they have to take the risk. Ezra is right, they should help people. Do the right thing."

"Woah! They blew up the ship! They will need to find another way out of the-... why are they leaving without her((Tua))? Aren't they going to help her out of the debris?", "She... uh, she didn't survive the explosion sweetie", "D: [silent gasp] they... they killed her??..."

"Why are they cold?" (Darth Vader shows up) "Woah, woah, woah! No. No-no-no! Kanan is not that good. They need to run. RUN RUN RUN"

"He's really evil. He wants Ezra to kill himself with the Force!"

[squirming on her place] "C'mon Ahsoka, tell them is Anakin. Tell them. You know! They need to know!"

"She didn't tell them... ugh... this is going to be a problem"

The Lost Commanders

"Who is this mysterious leader? How are they going to know WHO it is? Like... are they going to sense him with the Force... or...?", "Yeah, good question"

"Oh, they are clones", "yeah, they were very good friends with Anakin and Ahsoka"... "Ooooh I seee"

"Zeb becomes friends easily with people who also like to fight"

"These clones are good... wait, WHAT? THEY TOLD THE EMPIRE? NOOOO!"

Relics of the Old Republic

"They will have to fight together..."

"Can't they use the Force to... Oh! They ARE going to use the Force to sense them! Good"

"The clones will fight to the end alright... their last fight... (c'mon Kanan, don't leave them!)"

"So, Rex is like Ahsoka's uncle", "Uhm... well, good friends and family, yeah"

Always two there are

"I bet Ezra can find the supplies first"

"Who's that-...! A WOMAN Inquisitor??"

"She's scary!"

"They don't have Kanan with them, there is no way they can fight TWO Inquisitors"

(She got lil weirded out by the Seventh Sister with Ezra but said nothing of it)

"Oh great... Zeb is not exactly that smart. I hope he can come up with a plan"

"RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!"

"Look! Kanan and Hera are holding each other worrying about 'their kids'! THEY ARE A COUPLE!"

Brothers of the Broken Horn

"Who's that again?", "His name is Hondo. He was a big bad pirate from before, from when Ahsoka was still a Padawan, but he has gotten old and lost his crew", "oh... ok"

"Let's skip this one"

Blood Sisters

"wait... she didn't do that graffiti. This is suspicious..."

"So that's a friend of Sabine... but not anymore?"

"Why did they escape? For money?"

"She's going to join them in the end, right?"

"Wait... wait... Sabine is going to make that robot ((captain)) explode with the ship?? What? BUT HE HAS FEELINGS!"

"Aww... Ezra is so silly. xD"

The Future of the Force

"Why would they want a baby? Can't she have one on her own? That baby is not an Inquisitor baby anyway!", "well, 'Inquisitor' is not a race, is something you grow up to be", "Oh... so, they want to turn them into inquisitors, gotcha".

"Hahahah Chopper is so funny, I bet he makes a good nanny", "Erh...seems like he asked to blow up the ship anyway", "Nah, he's just joking", "yeah... joking"

(Kanan realizes they are force sensitive babies) "WELL DUH! Kanan is usually smarter than that"

(Ahsoka shows up) "YES! PREPARE TO GET YOUR BUTTS KICKED!"

"She's soooo goooood! They don't have a chance against her!"

"Yeah, you guys need to run away, she can handle this!!"

"See? Chopper makes a good robot nanny! I bet he can take care of any babies Hera has with Kanan in the future"

Legacy

"A cat? Force Cats? Is that a thing?"

"They are not dead right?"

"I mean, Kanan is like his new adoptive dad, but it would be nice to have his parents too"

"Are they dead??"

"Maybe they are not dead after all"

"Follow the cat!"

"Oh no... they ARE dead... poor Ezra :(... I want to hug him"

"Kanan is going to be there for him. He loves him too. Ezra's not going to be alone"

A princess on Lothal

"Ezra needs some time to feel better"

"And who's that?... is she a new character?... wait- ITS LEIA! ITS PRINCESS LEIA!"

"They are going to meet Princess Leia!"

"She's so smart~!"

"Ezra wants to show off but still needs a lot of practice"

"Make it look real, hahahaha"

Protector of Concord Dawn

"Sabine knows them?", "She's Mandalorian too, remember?", "Oh, that's right", "They are warriors", "Like the saiyans", "yeah... kind of?"

"They are working for the Empire! Run!"

"I didn't notice when she got into the ship either!"

"So... Kanan is not getting shot down on sight because...?", "They want to hear why he is here at least", "But they know he's a Jedi now, they will hand him over to the Empire"

"She's learning not to kill and be less... 'Mandalorian'. Nice!"

The Call

"Why is space always so cold?", "Well, it can be extremely cold or hot. If you are on the shade of a planet or a ship, you will freeze. If you are without cover, you will get fried..." ((Simplistic explanation, I know... didn't have time to explain about radiation/convection lol))

"You know, if my ship was running out of gas in space, I would just boost in the direction of the base, turn off the motors and just let it go in a straight line. It should keep moving with that", "...that's correct, I think"

"WHALES? IN SPACE?"

"THEY ARE SO PRETTY!"

"Why aren't they listening to Ezra!? He's right! They need to start hearing Ezra more!"

"How can they breathe in space?", "I guess the Helmets have some breathing masks with oxygen inside", * "Mmh... Ok"

"What's up with his eyes? Is he mind controling Ezra?" "xD, hahaha, no. I think they are connecting through the Force", "Ok! but... JUST GIVE HIM HIS HELMET BACK ALREADY!!"

"PUT THE HELMET BAAAACK! PUT IT BACK! BREATHE!"

Homecomming

"What's a Ryloth?", "Ryloth is Hera's planet"

"Hera has a DAD?", "Yep"

"How do I look??.... HAHAHAHA! Kanan is all nervous because he's going to meet his father-in-law! HAHAHA, he even confused everyone's names! Hahahahaha" ((I lost her for a full minute))

"Family first. Yep"

"Hahahaha, Kanan is having a good time"

"What do they want to do again?", "Hera wants to steal that big ship, her father wanted to destroy it"

"TRAITORS!",

"What's that little thing running around!", "That's uh... I believe is like a roomba? Like... in Wall-e? Remember the cleaning robot?", "YEAH! Hahaha, poor thing!"

"Sabine is not going to blow up the roomba robot, is she? She likes to explode stuff too much..."

"You know, if Ezra did that to me and failed the first time...", "You mean the Jedi mind trick?", "Yeah, if he failed the first time, I would got like 'yeah, we should evacuate the ship' to make them believe it worked, so when I leave I give the alarm and catch them", "[slow clap]"

The Honorable Ones

"What's that place?","Geonosis","It's empty?","It shouldn't be"

"What were they building there? Something big?", "Really big", "....??", "The Death Star", "But it should be there...", "They can move it, it's like a huge ship", "ah"

"[roll eyes] Oh, great, Agent Kallus..."

"Zeb is going to get caught"

"[Gasp] What happened to his leg?", "He broke it", ":O"

"They will need to work together... but Kallus is pretty useless now"

"He believes he's a good guy?? REALLY??"

"Well, at least now I know that Geonosis's moon are freezing and have giant beaked monsters in caves"

"Is Kallus going to join the Rebellion? It looks like Zeb and him could be friends"

"Don't throw him around like that Zeb!! HIS LEG!! HIS LEEEEG!!"

"Wait... he's not coming? He's going to stay in the Empire? Why?? JUST GRAB HIM ZEB!"

"No one cared he came back :( "

"Is that a CELL? Is he a prisoner??", "No, that's his normal room", "That's sad"

Shroud of Darkness /or how I call it "Question Galore"

(Kanan/Ezra fight the Inquisitors) "Why are they saying their plans out loud? THEY CAN HEAR YOU!"

"... Why are the lightsabers diferent colors? Why are the inquisitor's and Vader's red? Why were Ahsoka's yellow/green but now they are like white?", "-Woah" ((Had to pause and go into a lengthy explanation about Kyber crystals, tuning, bleeding, purifying...))

"He doesn't like the CRAZY ONES anymore? ANYMORE?", "Well, he did have other girlfriends before Hera", "WHAAAAAAT!? WHEN DID THEY SAY THAT? THEY NEVER SAID THAT!", "It's implied on one of the books", "WHAT BOOKS?", "There is a novel from when Hera and Kanan met when they were younger", "WHAAT! Why isn't that on the show!? IT SHOULD BE!", "It's not exactly a children's book", "That's not fair! WE KIDS ALSO WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED! UGH!! [squirms on her seat]"

"Oh... that's Anakin. Awww... :( now he's all evil"

"That's the technique we watched on youtube!! :D If they ever invent real lightsabers, I would so get fencing clases" ((We had watched some lightsaber training youtube videos on Form 1, 2 and 3 to play 'realistically' with our lightsaber toys... don't judge me))

"I don't get it. Why didn't Anakin die?", "You mean when he burned himself? or with a lightsaber in a fight?", "No, why didn't he kill himself?", "I-... -what?", "[offhandedly] Yeah, he became a bad guy to save his wife, but it turned out to be all for nothing. It didn't mattered anymore. He should have just suicide", "[agast] I-... I don't know... He was too angry?...", "...[unconvinced]" [darkside intensifies].

"Why did Ahsoka left the Jedi again?", ((explanation))

"It's all an illusion again?"

"Who is that? A Jedi Guard?"

"Who is he talking about? Who's the darkside calling to?", "Ezra", "Oh, yeah. Pffft, it calls to him TOTALLY", "(w-why are you so sure...?)"

"He... he looks like the Inquisitor. He moves like the first Inquisitor", (( GOOD EYE!))

"Is the Guard evil? Not really, right? He just wants to kill Ezra to keep him from the darkside", "... that's not exactly good either!", "But not evil-evil!".

"Well, he's not wrong. Ahsoka wasn't there to help him. It kinda was her fault too", "Woah, haaarsh"

"YODA!"

(( Yoda goes on about the Jedi shouldn't fight in the war and the cost of wining)) "I don't get it"

"IT IS THE INQUISITOR! WOW!... huh, he looked way better before..."

"Kanan graduated! Good for him! He's still not a good teacher, but he tries hard, and that's what matters!", "Gee, thanks?"

"GO, GO, GO, leave!"

"Malachor is a place?", "A planet" NOTE: HELP, I FEAR FOR MY PADAWAN.

Mystery of Chopper Base

"Woah, they are getting good"

"Whoops, Ezra got offended. Hahaha"

"They... are leaving? To look for Malachor? ... aww... they don't want to leave."

"How long will they be gone?", "They have no idea"

"SPIDERS!? NO, NO, NO!"

"SHOOT THEM! SHOOOT THEEEEEM!"

"I'M WITH ZEB! TOO MANY LEGS!"

"Why are they SPLITTING!?? THEY NEED A JEDI ON EACH GROUP!", "It because they are leaving and they need to learn how to go without them", "I DONT CARE"

"DON'T! It's not going to work! EZRA! IT'S GOING TO BITE YOUR HAND! SEEEE!? SEEE!?"

"I DONT LIKE THIS EPISODE!"

"AAAAAAAH!!! THEY ARE HORRIBLE!"

"I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!", "Cooomeeee oooon, is not that bad!"

"I HATE SPIDERS!"

"THEY ARE TRAPPED! NOOOO, THIS IS A NIGHTMARE!"

"[uninteligible yells while covering her face]", "Yeah, yeah, it's almost done"

"It is very weir Ezra can't connect with them. Maybe Ahsoka can..."

"Awww... so sweet. Hera needs to relax. They will be fine" ((OH MY SWEET SUMMER CHILD))

Twilight of the Apprentice (Oh boy, the rollercoaster of emotions is about to begin)

"They should have brought Rex. Or Zeb for muscle"

"Why did the wall react like that with Ezra?"

"What's that?", "The Jedi had temples... so did the sith. This is a Sith Temple", "ooooooh"

"There was an old Jedi and Sith war? Woah... who won?"

"A new Inquisitor!"

"Ezra can force jump that high now, right?"

"Who's that old guy?"

"Well, if he wants to help him, and used to be bad, but now he also fights the Empire so then he's good right? Unless he is lying..."

"What...!? Ezra shouldn't use the darkside. No... EZRA DON'T LIFT THE ROCKS- oh nooo.....!! He's turning him bad? IS THAT IT?? D:", "Remember what the Guard/Inquisitor said about Ezra?", "That the Darkside called to him. Oh no, no, no. This story is going to end with him turning evil like Darth Vader"

"Who is Maul?", "You know him", "No", "Yes you do. He was the final boss on the Twilight of the Republic in Disney Infinity. I even made a challenge for you with him", "I don't remember him", [silent cream]

"Hey, that's like Kanan's cube!", "Holocron", "So this is a SITH holocron"

"You gotta jump! Wait... he's not going to drop him right? Oh, phew! That's good"

"So just one Sith can open it. Someone who uses the darkside. Uhmmm... so, Ezra is going to be a Jedi that uses BOTH. The Light and the Dark! He can even get a red lightsaber and fight like Ahsoka", "You can't be a Jedi and use the darkside. Jedi only use the light", "But... BUT HE CAN...! AND he's not bad. He won't be a Sith... maybe he won't be either then... what would that make him?", ((somewhere in the Galaxy, Bendu hums))

"Nope. Kanan is not going to leave him alone anymore with Maul"

"Don't split, don't split, don't split. THEY SPLIT! AAAARGH!"

"He won't kill her! He can't. He won't be able to kill her. He's not that cold... WOAH! BUT HE DID!... That should be such a shock for his young mind", "His young mind? xD He's 5 years older than you", "STILL!"

"HIS apprentice? What does that even- WHAT THE-!!! WHAAAAT!! WHAT JUST HAPPENED!?? GO BACK!! IT CANT BE!! NO! HIS EYES! HI EYEEES!! PAUSE IT!! HE CANT BE-!! HE CANT BE BLIND! IS HE BLIND!? IS HE BLIND!!!??", "well...", "IS IT PERMANENT!?", "Uhm", "EZRAAAA THIS YOUR FAAAAAUUULT! HE WILL NEVER SEE HERA'S BEAUTIFUL FACE AGAIN! [RAGE]"

"STOP IT WITH THE HOLOCRON! YOU HAVE DONE ENOUGH!... OOH NOW YOU PLACED IT!... THIS IS YOUR FAAAULT!!"

"EZRA WILL NEVER BE YOURS!! HOW DARE YOU HURT KANAN!!"

"Can Kanan still fight??"

"He tricked you alright Ezra- [GASP]... DARTH VADER! RUN! RUNAWAY YOU HAVE NO CHANCE! I mean all of this is your fault but I don't want you to DIE!"

"UUGH, what is Ezra doing!? He's going to get killed! And all of Kanan's suffering will be for nothing!"

"D: HIS LIGHTSABER! AAAAAAAAH! WHAT IS HAPPENING! THEY ALL GOING TO DIE!"

"YEAH AHSOKA!... ooh-oh... They are finally going to fight"

"But he didn't kill Anakin, he IS Anakin", "He's speaking on a figurative way", "well, I believe 'Anakin' is still trapped deep down on a dark cell on his heart", "O_O woah", "I bet he secretly wants to see how much has Ahsoka has improved and is proud of her... and then kill her", ((daaaamn))

"Are you blind too? OF COURSE HE IS BLIND! IS YOUR FAULT!"

"[eyes widen]... Anakin... deep down, he's still-... oh never mind, he will try to kill her anyway... sigh"

"You should stop crying for Ahsoka and start crying FOR WHAT YOU DID TO KANAN", "Hey, the whole place is going to explode, of course he is worried", "But she won't die. She can't die [straight face, not an ounce of doubt]"

"ALL OF THIS FOR THAT STUPID HOLOCRON! [RAGE]"

"Oh no... No. He had promised Hera they would see each other again! HE WONT. HE WOOONT BE ABLE TO SEE HER EVER AGAIN. THIS IS TOO SAD! I thought Hera was being pessimistic about what would happen to them but she was riiiiiight"

"Wait... Did Ezra just told Rex she is dead with that look? WHAT! NO"

"VADER SURVIVED [GOING NUCLEAR] WHERE IS AHSOKA!? DONT TELL ME HE KILLED HER! SHE CANT BEEE!"

"THERE! SHEEEEES THEEEEEREEEEE! SHE'S ALIVE BUT LOST INTO THE SHADOWS"

"THEY LOST AHSOKA BECAUSE OF YOU EZRA I HOPE YOU ARE HAP-.... what... no... NO! DONT YOU DARE OPEN THAT HOLOCRON-! AAAAAH! YOU DIDNT LEARN ANYTHING! THIS IS YOUR FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAULT!"

"IM CRYING INSIDE!"

Final verdict: "There is more right? RIGHT? THIS CANT BE THE END. I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT"

We have been watching the Seasons 1/2 in Netflix, and as they don't have season 3 yet, I told her I would look for them later. In the mean time, we started playing Infinity again. She got to play Kanan, I got Ezra... and she started chasing me for a while with his lightsaber. "He didn't apologized to Kanan! COME APOLOGIZE TO ME! I LIKED YOU EZRA! YOU LOST ME!". I then took us to a challenge I had previously done for her with Maul... one that I had hoped made the image of Maul fresh on her mind for the season finale but failed miserably... and let her get a cathartic fight with him and Kanan. She reveled in it.

Submitted February 21, 2017 at 02:05AM via reddit http://ift.tt/2lBgKzX

#reddit #star wars #star wars rebels #swr #rebels #kanan #ezra #hera #maul #sabine

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prepare4trouble · 6 years

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Star Wars Rebels fanfic - The Right Direction (2/6)

I was going to post this tomorrow (before the episode obviously) but with people abandoning tumblr to avoid the spoilers, I thought I’d do it now while there’s still a chance of people seeing it!

Little By Little Masterpost

part 1

Kanan hesitated briefly outside Ezra’s quarters. He could sense Ezra’s presence on the other side of the door just as clear as he would have been able if he were inside with him. Walls and doors were a barrier only to sight, not to the Force.

Ezra was alone; Zeb had left earlier that morning to finish off his sweep of the base perimeter. He had been putting a lot more time and effort into that task than Kanan had expected, and Kanan had to wonder what he was doing out there -- or what he was finding -- that was so interesting.

Knowing Zeb wouldn’t be there, he had briefly considered taking the meeting to Ezra’s quarters, but he had dismissed the idea almost immediately. The last thing he wanted was for Ezra to feel trapped again. Yesterday, Hera had chosen to speak to Ezra in the Phantom. Not only that, but she had taken it up into orbit around the planet while she did. She had done it for a reason: to deliberately leave him with literally nowhere to go if he felt the need to bolt.

While Kanan had to admit it was frustrating when Ezra decided to disappear without warning, and he admired her ingenuity, he wasn’t about to replicate it. Intruding upon Ezra’s personal space for the discussion wouldn't be as bad as that, but it would still make it more difficult for him to leave.

Of course, being Ezra, he had any number of hiding places around the base. Kanan knew a few of them, some he had discovered by accident and one he had found while actively searching for Ezra one day. Ezra wasn’t short on places to run to if he felt the need. Still, nothing was quite like being able to hide behind the door of your own quarters.

Suddenly, Kanan felt a little guilty for watching him through the walls.

There was a calmness about Ezra that felt unfamiliar. Although Kanan could still sense that same low-level anxiety buzzing below the surface that he had been aware of for weeks now, it felt further away somehow; less urgent. It was almost as though Ezra were sleeping.

No, not sleeping. More like meditating. Not in exactly the same way that Kanan did, not as deeply, but he realized now that he was witnessing an attempt to commune with the Force; his student was beginning to flex those muscles that he had resisted for so long. This was good news. In time, those muscles would strengthen just as his other Force abilities had, and they would be there for him to call upon them when he needed them.

Which he would, very soon.

A swell of sorrow hit him at that thought, and he pushed it back, tried not to feel it. He had said it to Hera the night before, and he had meant it; they needed to stop thinking like that. There were far worse things that the universe could throw at a person than the loss of a sense. It was going to be hard for him to cope with, for a time, but he was going to be okay. Dwelling on their own initial feelings about it wasn’t going to help Ezra.

Not only that, but for a Force-sensitive with Ezra’s talent for connections, even if they tried not to show those feelings, it could be dangerous. He would pick up on them easily, possibly without even realizing what he was doing.

If every stray thought had the potential to make things harder for him, the people closest to him had a responsibility to control those thoughts.

That was so much easier said than done, of course.

He deliberately steered his mind back to the moment; dwelling in Ezra’s future or in Kanan’s own past wouldn’t help anything. Ezra still appeared to be meditating, and Kanan wondered whether he had been doing this regularly without him noticing, or whether it was a new development. Although he had never enjoyed meditation, Ezra had proved himself more than capable of doing it in the past; for shorter periods than Kanan usually liked to, and certainly not as frequently, but he could definitely do it when he chose to. And his work with the dokma incorporated a lot of the same skills and concentration needed to commune with the Force.

It was unfortunate that Kanan needed to interrupt him now, but he had no choice in the matter. They needed to do this sooner rather than later, and there would always be some reason he could find to put it off.

He bypassed the door chime, with its more intrusive sound, and opted for knocking quietly on the door. It was one thing to disturb someone’s meditation, it was another to do it with a loud, invasive sound. He waited.

On the other side of the door, Ezra’s attention shifted as he roused himself from his meditation. The door opened, allowing him entry into the room.

“Hey, Kanan,” Ezra said.

He didn’t sound surprised to find him there, it was almost as though he had expected him. Maybe he had; he had to know Kanan would come by at some point today. Kanan wondered whether he had sensed his approach, or maybe his hesitation outside the room.

“Lesson time?” Ezra asked.

Kanan shook his head. There would have to be a lesson today, and he hadn’t forgotten that. One thing he needed to do was tell Ezra when it would be, so he could be ready for it. They probably wouldn't be able to stick to a regular schedule all the time, but it was important that they both had an idea of when they would be doing what. It would be unfair for Kanan to just come by like this when he had some free time and expect Ezra to drop everything, it was more important than that. It wasn’t something that should be fitted into spare time, like their lessons had often been in the past. It needed to be scheduled, to ensure that it happened, and that it happened every day.

“We’ll get to that,” he promised. “Later.”

“Oh. Okay… so…” Ezra’s feet shuffled on the floor of his quarters, and through the Force, Kanan got the impression of him wrapping his arms around himself as he stood, waiting.

On the subject of lessons, Kanan realized that he had allowed himself, and Ezra, to slip into bad habits recently. Just a few short weeks ago -- and it was difficult to believe that it had only been that long since he had learned the truth about the secret that Ezra was hiding -- but just a few weeks earlier, when he had suspected, but not yet known, they had still been training with the Force regularly. It hadn’t been daily, but then it never had been. But several times a week they had been training with the Force, or sparring with lightsabers. Since the moment that Ezra had told him what was happening, without Kanan even really noticing, they had reduced the number of lessons and eventually they had stopped. It wasn’t fair.

There was no wonder Ezra had come to him yesterday demanding a lesson. It wasn’t only the things he had discussed with Hera, it was what Kanan had been doing; what he hadn’t been doing. Ezra must feel so abandoned, left alone to deal with everything by himself while the rest of the crew carried on with their lives around him.

Kanan wanted to kick himself.

“What?” Ezra asked. He sounded curious; concerned, even.

Kanan realized that he was open to the Force, and didn’t know whether it was his emotions or his body language that had had given him away. He shook his head. “Nothing,” he said. “We are going to have a lesson, okay? This afternoon. But before we do, Hera and I need to talk to you. About what happened yesterday.”

“What do you mean? What happened?” Ezra asked. There was confusion and worry in his voice now, like he thought something significant might have happened and he hadn’t been informed.

“No.” Kanan shook his head. “That’s not what I… I mean what happened between you and Hera.”

For a moment, Ezra didn’t reply. “Oh,” he said finally, dully. “Right. That.” He sighed. “Look, it’s fine. I get it. I talked to Zeb last night and he said some stuff about… well, maybe Hera was right. Maybe I…” he faltered just slightly, and took a deep breath to calm himself. “Maybe I shouldn’t be on missions right now. Hera’s in command, and it’s her decision. It’s her responsibility.” He sat down on the bottom bunk, apparently not ready to go with him.

Kanan frowned. He didn’t know what he had expected Ezra to say, but that wasn’t it. “That’s… good,” he said. And it was good. It also didn’t make any difference; they still needed to have this discussion.

“I still think I made the right choice,” Ezra added. “I still want to learn how to do everything without seeing. You’re not going to change my mind about that.”

“I know,” Kanan told him. “I don’t want to. You’re right; you do need to learn that, and the sooner the better.”

Even with the most optimistic of estimates, Ezra was looking at just a few short years of sight, and much much less than that of useable vision. Nobody wanted to think about it, but it was a fact, and one that they couldn’t get away from. He needed to be working on ways that he was going to cope. He needed to already have been working on it. Ezra had known for over a year that this was coming. If he had been honest about things sooner, maybe they would have had some of that time.

Not all of it, of course. There would have been a period where Kanan simply wouldn’t have known what to do, and a time after he returned from Malachor when he might not have been able to…

He wondered how things might have been different during those months if he had known. Would he have reacted differently to the loss of his own sight? Would he have forced himself to rejoin the universe sooner than he had? Would he, perhaps, have have looked to Ezra for guidance?

It didn’t matter. None of that had happened, and he had learned a long time ago that there was no point dwelling in ‘what ifs’. Even as things stood, they should be a month into these lessons. There were things that Ezra should already know how to do that they hadn’t even touched; that they hadn’t even thought about.

“But you said…” Ezra began.

Kanan raised a hand, the universal signal for silence. “We’ll talk about it with Hera, okay?”

For a moment, he thought Ezra was was going to protest, but instead he sighed. “Okay, but does it have to be right now? I was just in the middle of something.”

“It doesn’t ‘have to be’ at all,” Kanan told him. “It’s not an order; we’d just like to talk to you. ”

“I know,” Ezra said. “I didn’t mean…” he sighed. “Okay, fine, let’s go.” He hesitated. “She… doesn’t want to talk in the Phantom again, does she?”

Kanan shook his head. “In the lounge. Nobody else is home; we won’t be interrupted.” He headed for the door, then stopped and turned back to Ezra, still seated on the bunk. “The thing you said you were in the middle of,” he said. “Were you meditating?”

“No,” Ezra said quickly. The bunk creaked slightly as he moved. “I mean… kinda? Not really, but… I mean, you’re that one that’s always going on about how important it is.” He said that almost accusingly, like he was embarrassed, and it was Kanan’s fault. Like he had been caught in the act of doing something he shouldn’t.

“It is important,” Kanan assured him. “If you can deepen your connection to the Force, it’ll make it easier for you to use it to sense the world around you. It’ll make everything easier, and the more you do it, the more it’ll help.”

Ezra sighed, sounding unconvinced. Kanan took a few steps across the room and sat down next to him on Zeb’s bunk. “If you want, we can do it together,” he said. “Having another person there can help. That’s how we were taught in the Temple; the younglings took guidance from a Master that could sense what they were doing and give advice.”

Ezra appeared to consider it for a moment, then dismissed the idea. “It’s not that I don’t want to,” he said, then sighed. “Well, I mean, I don’t want to, but that’s another story. It’s just that like we said yesterday, there are other things I need to know. I don’t want to waste the lessons sitting around with my eyes closed when I could be… uh…”

He trailed off and forced out a sigh. Kanan sensed a strange mixture of anxiety and amusement within him. He waited, allowing Ezra time to either finish what he was trying to say, or not.

“Uh… when I could be walking around with my eyes closed, I guess,” Ezra said. He laughed once, quick and nervous, then took a deep, calming breath. “Sorry,” he added.

Kanan shook his head, unable to decide whether Ezra was apologizing for telling Kanan he didn’t want to meditate with him, or for the attempt at a joke. Either way, it didn’t matter. He clasped a hand onto Ezra’s shoulder and squeezed lightly. “We can set aside extra time for it, if you want, it doesn’t have to eat into the other things. I know you don’t believe me, but it really will help with everything else.”

He didn’t only mean with the lessons that he intended to teach him. A deeper connection to the Force would definitely help with that, but sometimes just taking some time to sit and be calm, and not dwell on what was happening, was a huge help. When every waking moment was filled with one overriding thought — and for Ezra that must be how it was right now even if he didn’t realize it — the ability to get away from that was important.

Ezra sighed. “Maybe. Yeah.”

It wasn’t a no; that was progress at least.

“Come on,” Kanan said, turning back to the door. “We’ll talk about it later.”

As he pressed the control and the door opened in front of him, he heard Ezra get reluctantly to his feet and follow him out.

(part 3)

#star wars rebels #swr fanfic #little by little #kanan jarrus #ezra bridger

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prepare4trouble · 7 years

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Star Wars Rebels fanfic - Lesson One (1/3)

Know when I wrote this chapter? November! That’s right, this has been sitting on Google Docs, more or less unchanged, for the past seven months. I think this is the longest-ago written thing I had unposed. The other two chapters came into being much more recently. Anyway, on with the fic...

Little By Little masterpost

Ezra was lying on the bed not doing much of anything when the door of his room opened unexpectedly. He sat up instantly, swung his legs around to the side of the bed, and hoped it looked like he had just been about to get up anyway. He hadn’t been sulking, not this time, and he didn’t want anybody to get the wrong idea.

Hera looked at him across the room; she stood just outside the door, still in the corridor. She didn’t appear to react to his hasty attempt to look busy, it was almost as though she hadn’t even noticed. Or didn’t care. She wore an oddly determined look on her face, lips pressed together as though steeling herself for something.

Sato had arrived back at the base last night. Or at least, that was when he had been scheduled to arrive. If he had been on time, she would have had time to speak to him by now, either the night before, or earlier this morning. She might have news. He tried not to squint to focus his vision in an attempt to read her expression. The Force revealed nothing to him.

“Hey, Hera,” he said. He tried to keep his voice calm, but it emerged a little too high-pitched, too eager. He pushed himself off of the bunk and dropped to the floor next to the bed, folded his arms and tried to look casual, disinterested. He didn’t care what she had to say, it didn’t matter. Not important. “What’s up?” he asked. He heard his voice trembling slightly.

Hera took a deep breath, then pressed her lips together before the replied. “Can you meet me on the Phantom in about ten minutes?” she said.

Ezra blinked. “Sure, wh…?” he stopped, she was already gone.

He stared at the closed door left in her wake, his mind racing. That had to be a good thing, surely. Why else would she want him on the Phantom if he wasn’t cleared for duty? Was this her way of telling him, by taking him with her on a mission? He wondered where they were going, what they were going to do.

It didn’t matter. It was still something; a beginning. A return to a kind of normality.

Hopefully.

He scrambled to get ready, hurriedly pulling on his boots and running his fingers through his close-cropped hair, before checking his comms unit was attached to his wrist and rushing out of the door.

His footsteps echoed loudly on the floor as he raced in the direction of the new Phantom. He reached the ship and let himself onboard before even Hera arrived. He sunk into the copilot’s seat, leaned against the backrest, and waited, not quite able to keep the smile from his face.

For the most part, Hera liked the increased responsibility that came with her role as Phoenix Leader. However, there were times when she felt that she would gladly trade in the autonomy and respect the rank afforded, just to get out of a difficult conversation. This was one of those times.

She walked slowly, feeling her own reluctance holding her back, almost as though it were a physical force surrounding her. She ignored it, kept her gaze forward and her chin raised as she approached and entered the ship.

She started in surprise to find Ezra already seated in the copilot’s seat, carefully examining the controls, hunched over a little, presumably to better allow him to read the labels on some of the switches.

She felt her heart sink as he turned to look at her with an excited grin. “You fixed it with Sato?” he asked. “Where are we going?”

Hera pressed her lips together, and sat down in the other seat.

“Anybody else coming?” Ezra asked her.

She shook her head. “Not for this,” she told him.

With practiced skill, she piloted the ship out of the base’s airspace and into a low orbit, all the while feeling Ezra’s eyes burning into the side of her face as his excitement and curiosity morphed into confusion at her lack of an explanation.

“Will you at least tell me what you said to Sato to change his mind?” he asked her, finally.

Hera sighed, programmed the autopilot to continue orbiting the planet for now, and turned to look at him for the first time. “Nothing,” she said.

Ezra frowned, obviously and understandably confused. “What do you mean? He just decided on his own?”

She swallowed, and licked her lips. “I spoke to Sato yesterday,” she told him. “We agreed that you’re a member of my team, and so it should be my call whether or not you’re fit for duty. He left it as my decision.”

“That’s great!” Ezra began, grinning widely.

“No,” she shook her head, “wait. Let me finish.” She took a deep breath, and made a conscious decision not to give into the temptation to look out of the view screen, or busy herself programming insignificant course changes as she spoke. “I will clear you for duty,” she told him, “just as soon as I’m confident that you’re ready. There are some conditions I need you to…”

“What? But…” Ezra interrupted. Before her eyes, his elation turned to confusion, then to hurt, and finally to anger. “What do you mean ‘ready’? How can I possibly not be ready to do something I’ve been doing for years?”

Hera sighed, and finally, briefly, gave into the temptation to look away. The view of the planet below filled the view screen. “I know,” she said. “Just hear me out, okay?”

Ezra shook his head from side to side in clear disbelief. He got to his feet and quickly walked the length of the small vessel, turned and walked back. “Why’d you bring me up here?” he asked. “If you’re just going to tell me no, why didn’t you do it back on the Ghost?”

“I’m not just telling you no,” Hera told him.

He scoffed, head still shaking, still pacing. “Take us back down,” he demanded.

Hera spun in her seat to regard him, deliberately keeping her expression neutral. “Why?” she asked. “So you can leave?”

“Yes!” he said. “Exactly! Obviously you don’t need me here, because you don’t think I’m ‘ready’. Never mind that I was on the mission where we got this ship, I was ready then. And the one…”

“Where we lost the last one?” Hera regretted her words instantly. That was in the past. Over and done, forgiven, if not forgotten. By mutual, unspoken understanding, nobody had brought it up since the night of their return. She shook her head. “Sorry.”

Ezra folded his arms across his chest defensively, and looked down at his feet. “Why are we up here?” he asked.

“Sit down,” Hera told him. She reached across and patted the back of the copilot’s seat invitingly.

Ezra shook his head and tightened the grip of his arms across his body. “Why’d you trap me up in here?”

Hera sighed. “Okay, fine. We’re up here so that we can have a conversation without you leaving in the middle when things get too hard.”

He stared at her for a moment, before his eyes began to dart around the ship again. “I don’t do that,” he muttered.

“You and Kanan came to tell me about your condition,” she said. “Halfway through you decided to leave. Same thing when you told Sabine and Zeb. Before that, when we were discussing telling Sabine and Zeb…” and Ezra hadn’t been able to read the text on her datapad...

“It wasn’t like that,” Ezra told her. “I always had a good reason for leaving…”

“I know. You left because you wanted out of the conversation.”

Ezra shook his head. “No, I…”

“Yes,” she countered. “And that’s fine. I don’t blame you for that. But the truth of the matter is, you have difficulty talking about this and your solution to that is to take yourself away from it. I understand that, I’ve done it myself more than a few times. But we do need to have this discussion, and I need you to be present for it. Frankly, this was the only way I could think of to ensure that.”

“By tricking me,” Ezra muttered.

Hera patted the seat again. “I’m sorry if you think that. I didn't mean for you to misunderstand. Sit down, talk to me. Please?”

Ezra hesitated, took a step toward the chair, then stopped again. “And then you’ll take me back?”

“Yes, Ezra. I have no intention of keeping you here forever.”

Ezra approached the chair as cautiously as if it were a wounded animal. Finally he sat down, turned it forwards, and stared out of the view screen. His arms were still folded, and he was very deliberately not looking at her.

“Good,” she said. “Thank you.”

Ezra rotated the chair incrementally, turning a fraction of a degree further away from her. Hera took a deep breath, filling her lungs slowly, and then released it through pursed lips. Now that it came time to finally have this conversation, she found herself at a loss for words; all the carefully planned points and counter-arguments abandoned her in an instant and she, too, almost wished that she could escape the situation.

She parted her lips just slightly, preparing to speak, when Ezra broke the silence for her. He spoke quietly. His voice trembled; not with anger or rage, she realized, but with with the effort that he was clearly putting in to prevent himself from crying. He rotated his chair further still, until she found herself looking at the back of his head.

“You always said we were family. Family supports each other. You’re supposed to be on my side in this.”

Hera bit her bottom lip and fought the urge to look away herself. “I am on your side, Ezra. We all are. It’s just, there are no sides here, not really. There’s only what’s happening and what we need to do to deal with it.”

Ezra made a sound, somewhere between a scoff and sob. He raised a hand and rubbed at the cheek below one eye, as though he was scratching an itch. He still wasn’t looking at her. “We don’t need to deal with anything, I’m the one who…” he stopped abruptly and rubbed his eyes again. “I have to deal with it,” he said. “I know there’s nothing you can really do to help, but you’re not supposed to make it worse!”

Instinctively, Hera reached for him, hand passing through the air between them until it came to rest gently on his shoulder. Ezra didn’t respond, except to tense his posture slightly. She allowed her fingers to squeeze gently. “You haven’t even heard what I have to say,” she told him. “Hear me out first, okay?”

Ezra sucked in a deep breath and released it slowly. He swiped at his eyes for a third and final time, before nodding, still looking in the opposite direction. “Fine. You said something about conditions?” he whispered. “What are they?”

Hera sighed. This would be so much easier if he would just turn around and let her see him. She allowed her hand to fall away from his shoulder and placed it in her lap.

“First, let me ask you a question, and I want you to answer truthfully,” she said.

Even staring at the back of his head, she could see his curiosity in the way he stilled. She waited for a few seconds longer, and he turned around to glance at her, a frown on his face.

“How are you today?” she asked.

His frown deepened. “Are you serious?”

“Very,” she assured him.

Looking mistrustful, as though dubious of her motives, he turned a little further in her direction, putting her squarely in front of him. The whites of his eyes were tinged a little pink, but there was otherwise no sign of the tears she was certain he had wiped away just moments earlier. “Fine,” he said. The anger in his voice belied his response, but it was exactly what she had expected.

“How are your eyes?” she tried.

He looked away again, but didn’t swivel his chair this time. Instead he angled his gaze down into his lap. “They’re okay. I can see fine right now.”

Hera nodded. For the most part, she supposed that was probably true. The light level in the cockpit was relatively high, and from what she understood of the way Sacul Syndrome worked, right now his vision shouldn’t be too bad. But that was now, she had phrased the question wrong if she had been looking for a broader answer. “And at other times?” she ventured.

“I don’t get… why are you asking me this? What difference does it make?”

“It makes a difference,” she assured him. “Just humor me, okay?”

Ezra took very slow, very deep breath and released it as a heavy sigh. The fingers of one hand worried a worn patch on the seam of his pants leg, and he kept his gaze focussed there, as though it were vitally important that he concentrate on the action. “Sometimes they’re not great,” he admitted quietly.

Hera nodded. “Thank you,” she said. She paused for a moment, giving him an opportunity to relax. Those few words had clearly been difficult for him, and she wasn’t done yet. “What about when it gets dark?” she asked. “You’ve been having trouble reading normal-sized print, how bad is that? What else are you having difficulty with at normal light levels? What about your peripheral vision, is it a problem yet? How much of one?”

Ezra’s hand stilled, fingers frozen in the action of picking the hole in his seam. “I… um… That’s a lot of questions.” He resumed the task of unpicking the stitching at the bottom of the small hole, fingers working frantically now, the action appearing to take all his concentration.

That was okay. She hadn’t really expected an answer to those questions. Not yet, at least. “I know. I’m sorry,” she told him. “But these are questions that I need you to be able to answer. More than that, I need you to be able to volunteer the information. I understand you not wanting to talk about it, but if I’m relying on you to be able to perform a task, I have to know that it’s something you can do, and I have to know that if you can’t, you’re going to be honest about that. Do you understand that?”

Ezra nodded. He enclosed the fidgeting fingers of his right hand with those of his left to still them, and looked up at her.

“That’s the first thing,” she said. “Honesty. I’m not saying you’re not honest already, just that from now on you can’t withhold anything. You notice any changes, you need to tell me, or you need to tell Kanan. I need to know what you can do right now, and what you can’t. And if anything changes, either you suddenly find that you can’t do something anymore, or you’re having trouble with it, or if you master some new way to compensate and suddenly you can do something that you couldn’t before, tell me.”

Ezra frowned, but nodded.

“Even if you don’t think it’s relevant to missions,” she added. “Even if you know it’s not. Because it’s not just about that, Ezra. I want to know what’s happening; the good things and the bad. I want to be involved. I care about you, and I don’t want to lose you to this. Do you understand?”

Ezra blinked. His eyes reflected the lights from the control panel in their brilliant blue, wide with surprise and damp with emotion. He nodded again. “I can do that,” he told her.

In theory, yes he could. And she had no doubt that he believed it at that moment, but in practice, that remained to be seen. She smiled anyway. “Thank you,” she said, and took a deep breath. “But that’s only the first thing.”

“Yeah,” Ezra said. He started, and then instantly stopped picking at his seam again. “I know, you said. There’s nothing wrong with my ears.” He smiled awkwardly. “My eyes either, really, most of the time. Yet.”

Hera pressed her lips together. ‘Most of the time’ wasn’t good enough. “Okay. Compensation techniques for those other times though, because they’re going to happen more and more as time goes on. Imagine something for a moment,” she told him. “Imagine you’re on a mission, doesn’t matter where, or what, but imagine the power gets cut somehow. Or you’re on a planet for longer than you expected, the sun goes down. What do you do?”

Ezra frowned. “It would depend.”

“Okay, so there are multiple options? Give me one of them.”

She watched him search his mind for an appropriate answer. “I probably wouldn’t be on my own,” he said.

“So you rely on your teammates to keep you safe,” she said.

“No! Well, maybe. But Kanan’s been trying to teach me some of what he does, so there’ll be that, I guess. Also,” he tapped at something attached to his belt, and she saw a small flashlight there, next to his lightsaber. It didn’t look as though it would cast much light, but it might make a difference. It was a good idea, an example of planning.

Hera nodded. “But you’re hiding, you need not to be seen. A flashlight would give your position away.”

Anger flashed quickly across Ezra’s expression, but disappeared quickly, replaced by something more like frustration. “That’s not fair,” he said. “You keep changing the scenario.”

“A real life mission doesn’t always go according to the plan,” Hera told him. “Sometimes, things go wrong, or you have to change plans at the last minute, or improvise. You know that; you’ve had to do it yourself more than once.”

“I’m learning how to get around without seeing,” he said. “Like I said, Kanan’s been teaching me.”

Hera nodded. “Okay, good. Can you show me?”

“Show you..?”

“Something you’ve learned.”

Ezra hesitated. “How?”

Hera’s eyes darted to one of the switches on the control panel, and before Ezra could even register what she was doing, she reached over and flicked it down. The main light in the cockpit went out and the glow of the control panel reduced significantly. The image from the viewscreen still illuminated the area slightly; more than well enough for her to see the surprise and then fear that registered in his expression. His hands gripped the armrests of his chair tightly, and she watched his eyes dart around, unable to focus on anything in a way that reminded her painfully of Kanan.

“Are you okay?” she asked him. It wasn’t even that dark, but it was painfully obvious that if he could see anything at all, it was nothing of any use.

Ezra nodded emphatically. “Sure, of course.”

Hera felt a pang of sympathy, and she didn’t want to have to do this. “Can you show me something?” she asked again.

For a moment, she thought he was going to get up. She held her breath, willing him to do something, anything at all, even if it was only to make an attempt. He stopped, halfway through getting to his feet, and sank back into his chair, every muscle tense. “I don't want to do this right now,” he said.

“But if you were on a mission…”

Ezra lifted one foot onto the seat of his chair and hooked his arms around his knee, hugging it tightly. “Do you think I haven’t thought about this stuff?” he asked.

He looked so small, all she wanted to do was reach for him, hold him, promise him that it was going to be okay. But she couldn't do that, not yet. “I think you have,” she told him. “But I think you just instantly dismissed it and pretended it was never going to happen. All I’m saying is, what if it does?”

“So that’s it?” he asked, speaking into the space somewhere just to her left. “No more missions ever, in case it goes dark? Kanan never…”

“This isn’t about Kanan, this is about you. And you know I’m not saying no more missions. I’m telling you that you need to be prepared for these things. You need a plan in place, and I need to know what it is and how it’s going to work. So does anybody who may be with you.”

He sighed angrily. “Fine,” he said, “So I give in. What is the answer? What am I supposed to do in this scenario?”

Hera frowned. “I don’t know. It’s not a quiz with a right and a wrong answer. This is part of what I mean about being open. What you can do, and what you can’t. You need to know that it’s okay to ask for help. And then we can work out the answers together.”

Ezra sighed, and nodded, still not able to find her in the darkness. “Okay,” he said. “So, have a plan for everything, that’s the second thing.”

“Good advice for anybody,” Hera told him. “But in your case, you need to know what you’re going to do in every possible scenario, or you have to sit the whole thing out.”

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “So, now you’ve made your point, can you turn the lights back on? Please?”

She slipped her hand across and flipped the switch back up. The lights came back on in an instant, and she blinked as her eyes adjusted. She watched Ezra release his knee from its hug, and get to his feet. He folded his arms and began to walk slowly into the back of the ship, before turning around and walking back again. “Thanks,” he said.

“The third thing,” Hera told him quickly, before she lost her momentum. “Appointments with the med droid. You need to make them, and you need to keep them.”

Ezra slowed his pace slightly and turned to face her. “Why?”

“Because it’s important. I spoke to it, and…”

“What? When? You don’t have access to my files.”

Hera held up both hands in mock defense. “Believe me, I know. I spoke to it in general terms, about the condition. But that brings me to another point. Like Sato told you, I need access. Even if it’s just to talk about your eyes and nothing else. I’m not going to pry, I just want to know that if I need to ask it something, I can. And that’s why I need you to attend your appointments regularly, so that the information it holds is up to date.”

He shook his head. “It’s not necessary. It’s not like Noisi can do anything to help.”

“Noisy? I don’t care. It’s for your benefit too; you need to be able to monitor the progress in more than anecdotal terms. You need to know what to expect, and when; if it’s progressing at the expected speed, if anything’s making it worse, or better. N015 is designed for eye problems. It’ll be able to give the relevant advice.”

Ezra opened his mouth, presumably to protest, and then clamped it closed again. He unfolded his arms, then folded them again, and finally sighed in resignation. “How long do I have to keep going for?”

Hera bit her lip. “For as long as it takes.”

“As long as what takes?”

She didn’t answer. She didn’t have to. She saw him make the connection as soon as the words left his lips.

He sank back into the copilot’s chair and turned away from her again. “Right,” he said. “Got it.” He sighed deeply and stared out into space through the screen, eyes very obviously drinking in the view as though he was afraid it may be the last time he saw it.

“Ezra,” she asked. “Are you okay?”

“Great,” he said flatly. “Anything else?”

She shook her head. “Nothing important.”

“Good.” He continued to stare out of the viewscreen, not even so much as glancing in her direction. “You’re right, you know. If something goes wrong, I’m not ready.”

It sounded strange to hear him admit that. She forced herself to sit still and listen, and waited for more.

“But do you know what?” he continued. “I never have been. None of us are; you included. It just doesn’t work that way. When you’re in the field, you have to be able to think on your feet. So if I can’t do that anymore, what you’ve just told me is that it’s over and I might as well leave, go back to Lothal and find a way to fight the Empire on my own again. That way at least I’d be able to…” He tailed off and sighed. “If I wait until I can do everything you want from me, I’m not going to be out there again until long after I’ve stopped needing those appointments.”

“No, that’s not it at all,” Hera insisted. “I’m not saying you need to tell me what you’ll do in every single situation; just that I need to know that you can handle yourself. Don’t stop thinking on your feet, just think in advance about what that might involve.”

Ezra tore his gaze from the viewscreen for a moment to look at her. “So how am I supposed to prove myself to you?” he asked. “How do you decide when I’m ‘ready’?”

The truth was, she didn’t know the answer to that. There was no definite reply that she could give him; no standard to work toward. “I’ll know,” she said.

He shook his head. “That’s nice and vague,” he said. “Can’t you give me something? Like a challenge that once I can do it, I’m in. Something I can work toward instead of…” he waved his hand in the air, presumably indicating the uncertainty.

“Okay.” Hera pursed her lips. “But you won’t like it.”

“Try me.”

She inhaled slowly. “Eventually, you’re going to have to be able to function without any vision at all,” she said, keeping her words slow and measured.

She watched Ezra’s face for his reaction to that statement, but there was none. It wasn’t the calm acceptance of someone that had come to terms with an uncomfortable fact, but the carefully-schooled expression of someone desperately trying to give that impression.

“As soon as you can demonstrate that you can do that, you're back in.”

His face grew visibly paler, though he succeeded in keeping his expression neutral. “So, blindfold?” he said.

“Not necessarily. It could be in the dark, or some other way of obscuring your vision, but essentially, yes. If you can move around an area you don’t know without any problems, if you can defend yourself, if you can do everything that you can do now, but without your sight, then you can forget the other stuff.”

He frowned and drummed his fingertips on his knee. “Okay,” he said, and exhaled slowly. “Okay.”

“But Ezra, you don’t need to be able to do that yet. You’ll find the other things much easier, I promise.”

He didn’t reply, but the expression on his face was easy to read. Neither option was easy, nothing was easy, and Hera, who had no right at all to talk about what and was not possible for him, was putting more and more obstacles in his way at every turn.

“I’m sorry,” she said, not sure whether she was speaking about the conditions she was having to impose, or the situation that made them necessary. Whichever apology he heard, he simply shrugged dismissively. She reached across to touch him on the shoulder.

Ezra stiffened in surprise, and she realized belatedly that she had approached him from the side, and that there was a good chance that he hadn’t seen her, but he quickly relaxed again.

“I know it’s not helpful, but you know I’d swap places with you in a heartbeat if I could, don’t you?”

He turned and looked her straight in the eye searchingly. “Yeah, well I’m glad you can’t,” he told her. His expression morphed into a sad smile, and he shook his head. “You’re a pilot, Hera. I mean, no offense, but there’s no way you’d be able to cope!”

He was joking, or at least he spoke as though he was joking, but he was probably right. The idea of losing the sense of freedom she got behind the controls of a spacecraft… she couldn’t even imagine it; she didn’t want to try. But she liked to think that she would do it for him, or for Kanan, if she could. Not that it mattered; life didn’t work that way. “Come here,” she said, getting to her feet and extending her arms to him.

Ezra hesitated for a moment, before climbing to his feet and stepping forward. She wrapped her arms around him tightly, as though they could protect him, and he hugged her back like somebody clinging on for dear life.

“You’re going to be fine,” she whispered in his ear.

He held her tighter in response, but said nothing at all.

#little by little #star wars rebels #swr fanfiction #moving the story on #just slightly though #ezra bridger #hera syndulla #ezra needs a hug #ezra gets a hug #and so does hera #so there's that at least #hugs for everyone!#comments are loved

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