#and to make sure the world forgets you

[silverskye13]

I am turning EB around in my head like a microwave and I have a couple questions:

What is EB and EX's relationship like? I know they view each other as family and EX gets EB's booth, but will we see how they interact more?

Did anyone wind up telling EB that hels!zedaph is dead? If not, does he have suspicions that he is?

and a more general Hels question (that is totally not related no siree) - what is the upkeep for the remembrance walls like?

EB and EX are on friendly terms! They previously saw each other,,, not as rivals in the traditional sense. They didn't openly attack or oppose each other. But EB viewed EX as a challenge: How do I stay distinct from my brother's shadow? Anyone looking for it would find it obvious. EB got Bigger and Louder whenever EX was around, and he used to be much bigger and much louder than he currently is. It's less that he was mean, and more that he was prideful. Becoming friends with Helsknight changed him for the better in that regard. Since he's mellowed out, he and his brother have become closer. They enjoy visiting with each other during Colosseum matches [EB will often stand with EX in the box and talk both before the events, and during intermission] and EX invites EB to a lot of parties, where they shit talk the guests together. We'll see them together once during RnS, but EB is a secondary character, and outside of the one appearance, I don't intend to have EX very involved in the story. He's kind of the unspoken god of the world: he gets a lot of mentions because he's very important to hels, but he's not very important to the plot lol.

Someone did wind up telling EB about hels!zedaph, though yes, he did suspect before he was told. EB hadn't gone looking for HZ for a reason. He didn't want to be the one to find out he was gone. If I can't see it, maybe its not really there.

And the Remembrance Wall Ramble got long so its under the cut!

[Hello future me cutting in here because I just realized you were probably talking about what individuals like EB would do to upkeep a name of a loved one. Mostly it involves regular visits. Keeping the stone clean, replacing it if it gets cracked, making sure it doesn't wear down. Nether bricks to me are a bit brittle, and the ones on the bottoms of the walls will crumble and break down over time. Most of the time, the Order of Remembrance is pretty good at getting them replaced, though they encourage individuals to do it themselves, to decorate the stones, paint or carve them, and overall keep the care personal. People will also sometimes leave gifts of food, flowers, and favored items at walls where loved ones names are kept. Walls are very colorful spots in hels, full of a lot of care.]

The Remembrance walls are, basically, graveyards. Alongside friends and family, who will make sure loved ones names are put down and remembered, the Order of Remembrance manages all Remembrance Walls in the city. We'll get into it a little in the upcoming chapters, but the Order of Remembrance church, and its knights, have a very active presence in hels. They are the cloaks seen most often roaming the streets, in twos and threes. They have regular routes they walk, with walls they are assigned to tend. They make sure the stones are stacked straight and don't fall, replace broken ones, and help people carve names. Many knights have prayer chants where they intentionally try to memorize every name on the wall. Their focus is on the idea that no helsmet is truly gone as long as some memory remains of them. They welcome helsmets approaching them with fond memories of loved ones, and will take testimony from people who know their time is coming. Their church is a glorified library and house of memorization. Part of their worship in remembrance of people is also in the remembrance of history, and they have at least one copy of every book, memoir, and journal in hels they can get their hands on. They have one private collection in the church, and one public library in hels, which they regularly update with copies of originals from the church library.

The only place outside the Order of Remembrance's domain is the shady side of town where Cleo's gangs keep the peace. For control reasons, Cleo doesn't like any opposing force on her claimed land, which includes Order of Remembrance knights. She does still have Remembrance Walls on her side of town, but they are up-kept by the people that live there as a community project. People get together once every few weeks, make food, talk about those that are gone, and make sure none of the stones are broken or stolen.

Erasing memory is a big taboo in hels, understandably. The universe is already cruel enough in taking people, and people, once taken, are woefully easy to forget [they were never meant to exist in the first place, after all]. On the sides of town where the Order of Remembrance upkeeps the walls, anyone caught stealing or destroying stones is tracked down by their paladins, and subjected to community service under close supervision. They're often roughed up in the process, but the paladins won't kill you for breaking a stone. Depending on whose stone you break, and how angry hels is that day, the same can't be said for anyone else who catches you. Repeat offenders, or people who destroy many stones at once with the express intent of erasing memory, are branded by the Order with a mark somewhere visible, normally on the hands. Anyone with that unlucky brand will see increased hostility from their peers, ostricization, lost of livelihood and home -- it's a great way to make everyone in hels hate you. Anyone on Cleo's side of town caught destroying a stone is hunted actively in the streets, and leaving her side of town will not save them. She offers high bounties for that kind of thing.

#rns asks #evil xisuma #evil beezuma #remembrance walls #hels #hels worldbuilding #aloe-vera-ghost #sorry you activated my trap card #i have a lot of thoughts on the Order of Remembrance #They're very very good guys #They're some of the few people in hels everyone likes #There is also an unspoken rule you don't mess with [attack or rob] Remembrance knights #because if you do that gives them a reason to forget you #and to make sure the world forgets you #to anyones knowledge they've never done that before #but then again -- if they did how would you know?

[sysig]

Just keep getting back up (Patreon)

#Doodles #Handplates #UT #Fellplates #Gaster #Asgore #The thought of Gaster able to heal himself! Rather to only have himself to rely on in a world that lives to hurt him (and everyone else) #It's an interesting inversion that's for sure #Is it as satisfying if it's not the one who deserves the broken bones? The pain of rejection or of justice retribution punishment? #It's still the same face - and it's not like he's wholly innocent here either #And besides it's always fun to draw tears hee ♪ #Get him just a bit disheveled aside from the broken bone - it's hard to imagine him in different clothes even after drawing him in the dress #Softer clothes would be so nice to hold Babybones with but even just dropping a shoulder off his coat or untying his bow tie - it's strange! #I do like the image of his flower crown shedding petals when he gets roughed up tho hehe - tossed around just a little too much! #Breaking his hand right down the middle - it'd be much easier with the holes in his hands as a weak point #All his bones could break easier than his hands before that but now- #It's weird to draw Asgore like that lol I dunno....Works well enough for utility but pffblt :P I always forget his pauldrons anyhow lol #Really rubbing it in that Gaster will be fiiiine he's sooooo special what with his ability to heal >:( Lol #It does make him a bit of a target - a regenerating punching bag? Ideal to see just how far you can push him #It was fun to draw with my green coloured pencil as well ahh <3 Healing magic always gives me a bit of the warm fuzzies #It was the original comic that made me fall in love with Handplates after all ♥ Pretty and feelings <3

[uncanny-tranny]

I wish the world was kinder

I do, too, but unwaveringly, work must go into making the world kind.

You know, I've learned the kindness in the world isn't just reflected outward, but also inward. When you are kind to yourself, you are kind to the world; when you are kind to the world, you are kind to yourself.

You don't have to make the world kind on a grand scale. Nobody can, truly. But what you can do is be understanding to yourself and be understanding to others. We are flawed. We are so very deeply troubled. But that is what makes us shine, ultimately. Being kind is hard, but it's worth it in the end.

#ask #anon #kindness #learning that i am being kind when i am kind to myself changed a lot for me personally #i stopped fantasizing about Changing Everything Forever when i realized how lonely that is if that makes sense... #...why should the world be kind after only one person's actions? we all deserve to pitch in in our own ways #i'm not sure if this is what you were seeking anon but. i hope perhaps it helps somebody out there #being kind to yourself is part of making the world a kinder place and people tend to forget that

[vigilskeep]

What's current Morghaine's backstory? How did they end up hunting mages?

instead of the original morghaine’s archfey warlock patron, the questionable motherly figure in morghaine’s life was their high elf parent, from an influential family of morally dubious enchantment wizards. their mother claimed to be different from the rest, and perhaps she was... but with their memory repeatedly modified to keep them from leaving the “safety” of their home for the dangerous outside world, morghaine wouldn’t even know. after their stumbling attempts at wizardry summoned a familiar who led them on an escape, a young morghaine found themself in the middle of a baldur’s gate they didn’t even recognise, with nothing but a slowly clearing head and the need to get out.

morghaine might never have had quite their family’s gift for the arcane, but they learned enough about casters to know how to stop one in their tracks. plenty of mercenary bands know exactly the standoffish, intimidating gloomstalker to call when the fight ahead involves someone with a few too many magical tricks up their sleeve. morghaine always figured it was good training for the hunt ahead. they might not remember much, but they remember enough to know that one day, their family needs to be stopped

#its extremely half baked im playing it by ear as i go but this is the gist #morghaine perilous #essentially their mother did on some level want to be different #but grief for morghaine’s father sent her tumbling right down that slippery slope #what’s a few modify memorys to keep terror from your child’s mind. to keep them innocent for as long as possible. #to make sure the family’s secrets don’t weigh them down. to keep them safe. to stop them from turning against you when you’re all they have #to stop them from going out into the big dangerous world. to make sure you never lose them like you lost their father #to make them forget what the family asked you to do in exchange for their help with this. #to make them forget they loved the sight of the sea

[citroensap]

I've seen what I've seen. And I've been told what I've been told. And I have an audience with the person who can do something about it. To smile for a photo op and recite 64 couplets on the American experience? That's treasonous.

The West Wing 03.16 | The U.S. Poet Laureate with Laura Dern as Tabatha Fortis

#the west wing #laura dern #mijn posts #toby is just like me fr #please let it be known that i started making these past midnight and it's 3 am rn #this is the first time ive made gifs if you dont count the screenshot one when i was like . 13 #i've taken the punctuation from westwingtranscripts.com because i dont trust myself #all gifs are 76 frames & on 90% speed & initially uploaded at 24 fps but somehow they dont look like they're going at the same time?? #am i sleep deprived or did i forget something. or both #not sure about the formatting of this post at all but if im not sending it into the world now i probably will never post this

[idrinkwetcementasproteinshakes]

i would be such a good boyfriend honestly

#I would get her gifts frequently #and have a trash can in my bathroom #ya know for periods and allat #speaking of periods #I would always have a box of pads or tampons under the bathroom sink if she forgets to bring some or whatever #and I would also be EXTRA nice to her and buy her chocolate on her period #and I would make sure to compliment her and tell her how much I love her everyday #like I would always make sure she knows she’s a wonderful fabulous gorgeous talented amazing perfect woman #I would also use a bunch of dumb pick up lines while we’re together #and some of the pickup lines would just be from songs she likes #if she likes Tyler the creator? “They should call you sugar cause you’re just so sweet” #if she likes MCR? “I just wanted you to know that the world is ugly but you’re beautiful to me” #etc #and everything she’s insecure of? #I would try my best to make sure she loves them #she has a bigger belly? #girl don’t be insecure of that it’s fuckin gorgeous and if anyone ever tells you otherwise then just call me up so I can bitch slap their #dumbass #I’m not even lying though #girls with bigger stomachs are so cute istg #or if she thinks she’s too tall? #more hight just means more skirt to twirl sister #but ima cis straight girl so idk

[triaelf9]

absolutely fascinating, that post I make about ppl who make it their life's goal to be miserable to other ppl online reaching the point where it slipped out of orbit and just made a mad dash through a lot of random folks ahah. Very much a microcosm of the internet for sure.

I was specifically referencing the ppl connected to the g@ter movements b/c they all seem to have a very specific playbook, (cant forget that they know everything about art and game making and journalism and film making despite never doing anything in it, and of course the bonus transphobia/racism/etc) but also it was kinda me thinking about like...just make sure you branch out? like find joy in things that isn't just hurting other people? You don't have to be nice to everyone, you don't even have to not be a hater but like...knocking off the personal attacks that the fascists use could be cool, and like, I dunno, make sure you smile at something else that isn't telling artists they should become obsolete b/c they can do something you can't? or like, turn some very well deserved anger to things that need it and affect the real world we all live in & maybe make some change? I dunno, it IS open ended, so I guess death of the author is bound to happen like most meme-y things lol

I just didn't expect it to go anywhere to be honest ahaha. I do appreciate that is speaks to most folks in the way I hoped it would, and I hope everyone has their potted plant they can enjoy, whatever form it may take lol

#A couple of the takes are pretty wild tho lol #Tria talks #like apparently I was trying to show this person is stupid (what? heavens no lots of fascists are smart) #and that such things as asking ppl to not be transphobic is ableism (way to weaken the word my guy) #but it really is a very interesting experiment in the end to see where it got to #I can't wait to totally forget about it now that i've muted it #and go make tons of stories b/c creating worlds is my potted plant #oh yeah and ppl assuming I'm making a moral judgement on ppl doing this oh no #just an observation of the playbook and that I'm sure it's not their potted plant lol #it's not immoral to be a jerk it's how and what you are a jerk ABOUT that can involve morality if it is involved at all #anyway I know now why making meme comics is not the job for me lol

[rithmeres]

*starts listening to the thg playlist*

augh -1 health

oof -1 health

ugh! -1 health

mmf -1 health

ugh! -1 health

augh -1 health

etc

GOOD that’s the effect i wanted >:)

#i wish so badly that i could annotate it. when will my husband (8tracks annotations) come back from the war #i made a rule that i was not allowed to take any songs from the soundtracks #until it was all finished and then i can pepper the best ones in sparingly #(abraham’s daughter & gale song & everybody wants to rule the world r going on there for sure) #i wanted to make myself get really creative without the crutch of the soundtracks although they r bangers #like we HAVE to start with the woods by daughter because it’s about sisters. #and if you forget that the hunger games is a story about a girl who loves her sister you have lost the plot #o children by nick cave is about children killing and being cleaned up and shipped off on a train. like ok #eat your young is self explanatory #so is kill our way to heaven (really digs into the mentality of a tribute imo) #glory and gore is on there because i genuinely thought lorde made that song for the movie #die first? well that’s katpee to a T (people who call them everlark u are boring and people who call them peeniss that’s too much for me) #(i think katpee is the funniest ship name ever so i’m using it) #who are you really is like who are you. really. but also i have nothing left to lose / see me bare my teeth for you !!!!!!!! #GOSSIP BY MÅNESKIN. FINNICK SONG. SIP THE GOSSIP DRINK TILL YOU CHOKE. #17 by ladytron :| also a finnick song perhaps :| but works for the other victors also :| they only want you when you’re 17 :| #AND THEN FEED THE MACHINE IS SO MUCH FUN RAAAAAAAAA WTF IS A LABOR UNION HEY (HEY) YOU (YOU) FEED THE MACHINE #if you only listen to one song on the playlist is should be that one because its just such a banger #wires by the neighborhood is like help me kill the president we’re gonna send him straight to hell (and it rules) #and then feel something by jaymes young is about a young person who is emotionally damaged beyond repair 🙃 had to end it on that one

[cheswirls]

looking @ old fic i started when i was 14/15 is so funny bc im realizing once again why i never mark fics as abandoned even if its been literal years since i've touched them. specifically i was checking docs for stuff i started and either did or didn't post to ffn.

and its like. nothing is bad??? like i can see where my outside-the-box ideal of fic writing comes from. not just fics but writing in general, i'm p sure. even if it's a total cliche plot setup, there are details on each that rly make it stand out like oh yeahhhhhh i did have this great idea once upon a time.

funny too bc was it executed well in prose??? no absolutely not i wrote like shit when i was 15. would i revive an idea one day and revise it to be less cliche or cringy while still keeping the stand-out elements??? yea maybe. i might. everything i'm currently working on that i started from 2021 up to now still holds my supreme interest, but like i'm not gonna say never.

esp since i write fic first and foremost for my own need and specifically what i like to read, it makes it impossible to consider an idea i've thought extensively about "not worth writing anymore". anyway not making this too long i jus found everything interesting to consider

#writing #this fic i pulled up from JUNE 2014 crazy was the old chosenshi au i was trying to write for a friend #i dont ship blue/silver and never will and thats prolly why i never finished it #but i do still like!! the idea of rocket!blue raised w silver and breaking free of tr while running the hoenn branch #no idea how i remembered bc it wasnt in the plot pts on the doc but she was gonna get sent to the battle frontier #to nab jirachi and have encounters w frontier brains and change her mind at the end of it all #hell i could go back and not make it ship fic at all - have silver be a little one-sided obsessed or #even jus like.. attached to blue as a rivalry like as a way to show her up at every turn #another fic around the same time was the old pokespe hs au where i changed all the dexholder's names for some reason #i have no idea where i was in reading spe bc i put lyra in for some reason and had the sinnoh trio even tho i never read past v2 of dp #idk if it was more gameverse or what but its so funny looking @ the ship list n seeing i had gold paired w black #bc i had manga!ss and manga!ferriswheel so was it rly speverse or was i projecting???? #actually i think black was supposed to die and gold was gonna go thru this whole thing abt grieving #looking at the ship list so funny bc i never shipped gold/crys or entourageshi #and clearly i did not know the superiority of pmshi if i threw lyra in jus for silver #god but i do love (most!) of the alt names i gave them #would absolutely fuck up the ship list if i ever redid it tho #also have perfectworld tho im sure i have the most recent rewrite on pen and paper somewhere #that one i also gave up bc the idea i had for flare!sycamore was cringe along with #every time i went back to work on it enough time passed that i thought my writing sucked #i rewrote that damn thing so many times but oooooooo i still love the idea #as long as i changed the cringe parts to smth better i could still rock w most of these #that fic rly had everything... psychic!korrina. leaf/serena. sycamore hacking the secret to mega evo. lys/syc that ends in failure #bc of the ending line i will never forget > only in a perfect world could you and i be together. destined and doomed from the start #im rambling n im boutta run outta tags gimme a sec

[thedeadthree]

ALAIA ALCÁNTARA (tlou) // VIOLANTE VALTERI (dbd)

UNA ULLER (hotd) // IOVANNA DAYNE

TAGGED BY @jendoe and @aceghosts to make a few dears in this picrew! ty ty so much! <3

TAGGING: @feystepped, @griffin-wood, @risingsh0t, @kingsroad, @chuckhansen, @denerims, @queennymeria, @marivenah, @phillipsgraves, @corvosattano, @unholymilf, @jackiesarch, @florbelles, @morvaris, @nightbloodraelle, @arklay, @malefiicarum, @shellibisshe, @leviiackrman, @shellibisshe, @aartyom, @weisshaupts, @rosebarsoap, @girlbosselrond, @jacobseed, @loriane-elmuerto, @leondaltons, @themysteriouslou and you!

#only if you want to! 🤍🕊 #oc: alaia alcántara #oc: violante valtieri #oc: una nathaira uller #oc: iovanna dayne #GODD the way una looks like a religious figure here 🌿🐍😌 #forget the seven we worship UNA and IOVANNA here! <3 #baby girl vio doing her witchy things 🖤😌 thriving as she should! thriving in the realm! she deserves it! #AND HERE SHE IS <3 the dear girl herself! alaia my dear! surviving the end times! zombie edition! #i don’t have much on backstory quite yet but i she means the world to me already 🕊🤍 #(im thinking tommy or making an oc to set her up with? im not quite sure yet <3) #(either him or joel for her or a sister im thinking of making <3) #leg.ocs #leg.tagged #t: picrews #im actually watching the show rn and……. im floored it’s LOVELY

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

Whumpers, what are your earliest memories?

Mine is from when I was about two or three. I was in a stroller, at my cousin’s Irish dancing recital. After the recital, my aunts were talking down to me in the stroller, and to each other. I was experiencing extreme anxiety because I couldn’t understand what they were saying, when I felt I should have been able to communicate with them like they were communicating with each other. I was also very tired and dazed. I did not cry though… I probably looked normal on the outside.

I also remember when I was about four or five, I went to the beach with my dad and one of his friends. I somehow found my way onto the dock, planted my little rear end on a jet ski, untethered it from the dock, and started floating into the sunset. There was an old lady lounging in a donut inflatable out some way; she said something to me, but I couldn’t understand what she said, despite trying really hard. I’m assuming it was something along the lines of “Oh my god get off that jet ski you’re going to fucking DIE, kid,” but again… couldn’t understand a word of what she said, and got frustrated because she was speaking English (without an accent) and I should know how to understand adults speaking English to me.

At this point, my dad is yelling at me from across the water, and a young lifeguard drags the jet ski back. On land, my dad lectured at me very harshly as he led me back to the car. I didn’t know I had done anything wrong, and was very confused. At some point this guy starts quoting the Bible at me, and the only thing I could pick out were the words (spoken very emphatically), “Your days are numbered.”

“My days are numbered?” cue a vivid mental image of a calendar, with dates listed for every day of the week, “What does that mean?” Later on I figured out this was the Bible’s way of referencing death at God’s hand which just made me even more confused as to what I did, until at age thirteen, I figured out, “Oh a baby who can’t swim floating on a jet ski is terrifying, actually.”

Tagging: @kaleidoscopr @redd956 @hereissomething @astudyinpanda @c0ldbrains @straight-to-the-pain

#tag game lol #I had a thing with not understanding people very well (or at all) as a child idk if that’s normal kid stuff or what lol #Like you know how in dreams people’s speech is a blur? That was how I (mostly) interacted with the world from ages two to six #My best friend at the time would talk to me a lot (she was a couple years younger) and she was still partly in the “babbling” phase #and couldn’t speak clearly at all #so I just kind of nodded and went along with it despite having no idea what the hell she just said #Which I continued to do with everyone else into adulthood; as soon as someone talks to me I zone out whether I want to or not lol #My life has been a perpetual cycle of: “Why can’t I do that; am I stupid or something?” > studying it intensely > excelling at it #Like humor. No one laughed at my jokes in my first year of public school; so I watched what made people tick… #By the time junior year online English class rolled around I had the teachers and students in stitches almost constantly #Likewise with understanding people: I zone out all the time; but I can quickly replay what I heard in my head and ask a question to verify #if that’s what they said; then give an appropriate response to it #Basically I repeat 70% of what people say to me during conversation to make sure I’m not missing anything #As a result I’m now pretty good at figuring out what people are saying if there are language barriers or speech abnormalities involved #But do NOT give me verbal directions; I can and will forget them the instant you walk away

[californiannostalgia]

laurel and susanna's kids all have at least some portion of the moms in them: laurel's get-shit-done mindset and susanna's vision for finding magic in the everyday. (they also have the temper and the strong feelings that they dive headfirst into, not to mention this immense pressure of living up to a legacy they love. but that's part of what makes them a little impossible to look away from. they commit pretty intensely, and they make you want to commit too.)

belly's got it in spades, but so does jeremiah, steven, and conrad. they take chances and pull through. they try to do right by each other. they listen and are scathingly honest and gentle with each other, with comfortable familiarity. they care so much. they've got this magic of the summer they love, and they invite other people into it so they get to feel it too. it's what they've done every year, during this one season of open possibilities and love and grief and every messy thing in between, and they will have it for the rest of their lives, memories and habits and the joyfulness.

these four kids have got a sense of family between them that's real special. I would like this show to end with their summer still as magical as they always remember it: together, and having fun.

#the summer i turned pretty #tsitp #belly conklin #conrad fisher #jeremiah fisher #steven conklin #my thoughts #it's the way belly and steven and jeremiah have a way of dragging other people into singing along to songs #it's the way conrad will let them do anything #the way they apologize for not being there and trying to be there the next time #the way they're messed up all angry and tears and yelling and making up again #I genuinely think they are always gonna think of each other as family #they're gonna make so many mistakes but they'll fight each other through it somehow #they only see each other for a part of a year but it's the part of year that they can be the most themselves #I think that love's the lasting kind #I hope they can still have the best summers (sure the highs and lows might swing a bit extreme sometimes but you never forget the highs) #I can't believe I'm saying this about a het love triangle show but #they're magical and I love these characters #you can tell I watch this show for the friendship of these endearing idiot geniuses #two of them are trust fund white kids and all of them are privileged first world teenagers but this is rich teen fantasy show so

[selfcontainedunivcrse]

my little guys. Cion and Vwoop have a weird relationship. He's inserted himself into the Vwoop + Seren family dynamic and kind of exists to be Right. He's not really considering the actual effect that he has on Vwoop and is trying to get one over on Ren. he fufills a very expository / narrator role to me. Vwoop believes what he says.

#and the universe said you are not alone! #Cion gets a nicer bc he's met proto before and Did Not Like Them . #And like yeah that's messed up actually . Being raised as a copy of someone else #And then completely betrays its trust by spying on it and lying about Enderman Business. He 100% clocks that that thing is not an enderman #but is like Well. This is useful to him #He's not that bad of a guy . He just fumbled this one. And many others #He organizes a little community and he is not letting weird mad scientist like. corrupt the world and put them all out of lives n homes #but i've been thinking they go on a little adventure. vwoop sneaks out. It wants to get resources for Seren bc it would make them happy :] #Cion is like ............. I have to make sure you don't violently disrupt everything ever because like . Vwoop has Weird Magic #It is a Thing made of weird magic. #It doesn't use ? Magic really. Most of it is circulating to sustain it. But it's like . It's ender-weird! #Also the fact its hands just kind of float is like. I think this is an active magic thing #And when it was smaller it would jsut . Forget its hands. Carried them in a pocket. Until it got strong enough to perpetually sustain them #This is beside the point. Cion trusts it as far as they can throw it; which is actually rather far #But has a very tangible limit of when he's not entertaining this anymore.

[mooseyspooky]

I'm really obsessed with Spring Heeled Jim right now, and it's so weird to me how brief the discussion on Moz Solo is of it. Simon Goddard probably goes over it better in the Mozzipedia, but

It's definitely not just a man past his prime unable to score anymore. The use of Jim in the title immediately makes it more likely to be about a James Dean figure. That is to say, a bisexual man. And so it feels way more, to me, about a man regretting his choice to not explore his sexuality in his youth. "So many women, his head *should* be spinning," implies he's not impressed by the women who fawned over him. "And his eyes on some other fool," the use of fool here is gender neutral. It could be a man or a woman. "Well it's the normal thing to do," harkens back to the restrictive expectations of heteronormativity.

#And yet it's so overlooked in the moz world #When it's actually really brilliant #And of course it really makes you think of Johnny as well #Take life at five times the average speed is extremely Johnny #Some other fool could definitely be Moz #And with Vauxhall already having Billy Budd on it #It wouldn't be outrageous to imagine there being another more clever Johnny song on there #Though I know Billy Budd is a lot more positive than the regret and disappointment here #But think of the extreme differences between Come Back to Camden and I Like You #Both of which are clearly about Jake #Or even Maudlin Street and I Don't Mind if You Forget Me #It's sort of a hurt comfort cycle of emotions right #Where Moz is saying he's really still caught up in something but no he's actually totally fine #Surely Simon Goddard wrote about all this in the mozzipedia

[illogicalghost]

.

#big gender rant ahead i just need to write down my thoughts #personal #so i think im a he/him trans lesbian?? #i think ive been denying my feminine side for a long time now but middle school me was right. well. half right #idk why id built up some weird barrier in my mind about being trans and being a lesbian #but now im like more sure than ever #i still dont know if i could call myself a woman. and i thought i was so adamant about not using she/her again but it honestly? #doesn't bother me that much anymore. its not my preference but its not as soul crushing as it used to be #i have these weird subliminal gender rules for myself that ive been beating myself down with even though i #understand that theyre fake and dont hold anyone else to them. so why have a double standard? cant i have a fun gender? #ever since high school its been an uphill battle just letting myself live freely and having self confidence #i just turned 24. i dont have to be beholden to stupid hormonal teenage self loathing anymore #the world is a beautiful place and gender is just made up anyway. so why cant i be trans and butch? who cares?? #i think i worded it well in my last personal post. ive been living a gender of convenience #but fuck that! i want the gender that makes sense to me! that makes me happy! its my life and i should live it how i want to! #...i still have some regrets about my top surgery. i wish i wasnt so weirdly flat chested now. #but hopefully the fat will redistribute eventually and itll look more natural as the years go on.. #but i definitely dont regret going on T. i love my deep voice and my body hair #anyway if you've read this far thanks for listening to my mad ramblings #and dont forget you can have a fun gender too!

[peglarpapers]

i generally consider myself an emotionally stable and well-adjusted person except for the three days within the vicinity of my birthday. during which i behave like a skittish and vaguely abused racehorse

#my ideal birthday scenario is that i have to put in no effort whatsoever #and have some nebulous other just go right. here’s what we’re doing and i bought you tasteful presents six months ago #bc i hate having to plan and direct people. which is basically all a birthday is #like man why do i have to plan something that other people will enjoy #and make sure i’m not being weird by inviting people i’m not close enough to or not inviting people i am #and rack my brains for something i actually want that is a normal thing to ask people to buy #all in all i actually care atrociously about my birthday #but it stresses me out to the extent that i tell people i don’t care and they should forget about it #and then i get cross bc they do exactly what i told them to do #anyway. this is the absolute peak of first world problems but i did quietly cry a little bit doing the washing up tonight #so i feel i am entitled to put it on the tumblr blog