#and to think i have bible study later... aka my day is already decided for me again yay

[samissosexyyy]

Tumblr thought it would be hilarious to delete all my work and not let me answer requests :').

YES I SHALL WRITE THE PLATONIC ANGRY PARENTS-

And thank you-I woke up and was talking to my friend in the morning and my brain just: jojo villain yandere dads. Mudad mudad mudad mudad anger.

Anyways, here they are- Do these even count as headcanons???? I dunno-

Dio, Part 1

Vampire form of course.

First thing first, We all know he'd be a great dad. Protective already, But make him a yandere platonic father? Oh boy, Trust me, You'd be spoiled and treated like royalty.

Now, I'm gonna say in this scenario you were on of his victims child. I'll say you'll be around 5 to eight.

Somehow you managed to catch his eye, Is it because your parent was just as bad as his? You reminded him of his mother? Or maybe you resemble him, and have three moles on your ear. Or, perhaps, A younger joestar? Either way, You somehow had him feeling like a father, and, according to one of my friends, Araki had said DIO would treat his children like they were royalty, And they would be so spoiled.

So, Mudad would end up taking you in, kidnapping, whichever honestly. He'd be holding you like a loving pet owner would, if you got scared, he'd probably be confused. Honestly he'd have you turned into a vampire quickly, as he knew he wouldn't be able to have children as a Vampire.

Truthfully, I think you'd end up never noticing how he'd occasionally pull you closer, or how he'd glare at anyone your age or older going near you. Or how he'd give you some strict rules, Like no dating anyone. E v e r. And why would you ever want to hurt your papa like that?! You wouldn't want to do that, right?! Of course you wouldn't! Dio knew you'd never betray him like that!!

Truth be told, he'd guilt you if you tried to go against his words. But punishments? No no, He'd never actually purposefully hurt you, Unlike his love interest, he'd NEVER want to cause you pain ever. He'd hate himself and wouldn't forgive himself for years. Centuries. Infact, he'd beg for your forgiveness.

The Pillarmen

And satannnaaaaa

First of all, You aren't a pillarchild. You'd most likely be some kind of god, vampire, or a young hamon learner. Or even related to the Joestars or Ceasar.

So, Let's say you're immortal who can walk in the sun. We all know you'd be the joestar side, Right? So, That means you'd end up hating or feeling pity for the pillarmen. First, You'd probably end up trying to make Santana hally when he awakens. Unlike with Joseph, He'd probably know not to attempt to attack you. Let's say you have symbols like Dio Over heaven, We all know how that would work.

You'd end up as a being worshipped by them, probably kidnapped after they destroy the Joestars.

Let's say they defeated Joseph and the others, and you were still a deity, You'd most likely be weaker then them in this scenario. They'd probably treat you like a kitten at first, like a baby before they all felt a connection. As if you were a child of their own, so they'd give you rules. And we all know how rules go with yanderes.

Let's say uh- you fell for a mortal.

"No. No."

[Crush name has fallen from a high place.]

"DADS WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUU-"

"NO CUSSING IN THIS CHRISTIAN MINECRAFT SERVER!"

or something like that :')

Honestly, You'd have bird dad, and a bunch of other dads. Santana would honestly be like the cool big brother honestly. You'd probably want horns too so-

They would totally buy you halloween horns to put on your head so you'd be happy baby

Now, Hamon user? They'd probably find you like a cute animal at first, probably going easy on you like it was a game of tag. Soon, they'd realize how weak and fragile you are, After all, You are just starting hamon. They'd probably kidnap you to spite Joseph and his side at first, before... Well, You didn't expect to become a vampire and treated like royalty when all you've been treated like is uh... Considering Lisalisa is your coach, I'd say you'd be happy if it was someone else doing this for you.

Josephs sibling? WOAH Joseph, When did you get a cute sibling? Pfft, Not your sibling anymore, They just adopted your ex sibling nerd.

But, All jokes aside, They'd probably be surprised that you were more mature then your brother, and...you sorta resemble a certain Coach... Oh, Humans all look the same, haha.

They'd probably kidnap you infront of Joseph just to make him feel guilt and rage, After all, Why not get their prized treasure and make Joseph angry? They'd give you more rules, until Joseph was gone, of course.

And, sadly, Not even you crying would stop them from making you into a vampire infront of your big brother, breaking both of your hearts.

Don't worry you got ice cream later smh.

Ceasars sibling? Mini pancake? Haha, They'd kidnap you as soon as they felt parent like tendencies. No denying them, infact, they'd make sure you saw ceasar get defeated by the ro ck. But don't worry! You have new parents and a brother-! Haha, Poor you.

Part 3 DIO AKA mudad!

Honest to god you'd probably have to be a stand user with a weak or strong stand, or, you were one of his kids he had with a lucky woman who survived and got a naked polaroid of him as a 'wow you lived! Congrats, now go have my kid lmao' gift. Or, Maybe you were a normal kid who was kind to him, even if he,,,,  did some questionable murder infront of you. And maybe you were a young

Now, Let's say you were a strong stand user. He'd end up wanting to use a flesh bud until he realized... He never had a kid, that he knows of, and decided to raise you! At first he'd be upset you had a strong stand like your mudad, but realized you could protect yourself from those dreadful joestars! Congrats, You became a Brando! :) How unlucky, Considering this DIO would probably force vampire masks onto you, or even using fleshbuds as a threat. Either way, You'll always be papas baby!

Yoshikage kira.

Like I said in my first post of this, He'd want to have a nice average life. You having a stand wouldn't be a problem, Since he'd probably convince you Josuke and the others are awful and rude.

Josukes sibling? Well, He'd end up telling you he can help your brother with his murder issue if you come with him. You don't exactly have a choice since Killer queen would easily overpower you if you had disagreed. You'd end up being a normal and peaceful child before long, Infact, He'd have to pretend he had adopted you behind his 'wifes' back.

Hayotos friend he never talks about? Congrats, You are now stuck with a crazy and loving father! And a mother, I suppose. And you get your best friend as a brother! You'd never be able to leave, how sad. But, You'd have your new mom and your dad to talk to-! And killer queen cuddle time.

Now, Let's say you were his own kid. Wowzers! You think its normal for your father to bring women hands home, after all, You are pretty young and your father told you most adults do this. Ah. How enjoyable.

Doppio/Diavolo

Oh dear. You poor child.

Either you were related to trish, and he somehow felt like you wouldn't be a problem before they felt more of a father love towards you, Most likely somehow getting rif of the traitors and your big sister.

"Where's big sister?"

"Don't worry about her, She's spending time with your mother."

Smh quit LIEING you jERK!

But seriously, Doppio would be like the fun mom asking you if you'd like bake cupcakes in his spare time! Read you bed time stories and whatnot! Diavolo would be awkward and "wanna play baseball or whatever kids like to do these days?" Awkward dad alert.

"My kid is fine!"

The kid they kidnapped/raised:

Casually trying to beat another kid with a baseball.❤💚💛

Honestly they'd insult everyone elses kids while here their kid is, casually scared of baseball.

Pucci

Papa priest! We all know he'd adopt you! I head canon him as gay, considering DIO and him were totally a thing.

So, He'd probably have you study Lord DIO bibles, and casually have you hate Jolyne. Probably even give you a stand, And even show you that DIO is the best! Worship! Protect yourself and all that!

Jotaro would probably scare you,  so I can see you holding onto Pucci while Jotaro appears anytime, so pucci would infact love it when you snuggle onto him lime a cute kitten. Hell, you even Sneeze like a kitten!

Honestly You'd be kept under watch 24/7, but you'd think it was normal, after all, Your father would mever do something so awful like Those Joestars claim...right?

Diego

Oh wow- dino dad :)

Let's say you were a big fan of his, Then, Well,You wouldn't mind having him as a dad, Now would you? He is your idol, Right? Yeah. Yeah!

He'd probably carry you around upside down, Hot pants just questioning his sanity as he drops you a million times. Hot pants would probably end up carrying you most of the time.

Mama hot pants and father Diego. Y es.

And, Let's say you were traveling with Johnny. Congrats. You've put yourself in a even worse situation considering Diego would become worried and paranoid over those two idiots hurting you! And he hates the idea of his baby boy/girl/child being hurt by barbarians!!!

Even though he'd probably hurt you on accident if I'm gonna be honest.

Kidnapping isn't a very easy job, so of course he had to knock you out! What was he supposed to do?! Ask you to come stay with him forever?! No! Maybe! HuawhuKaia-

Honestly not too many rules, just don't leave his side ever! Except when going to the bathroom. You'll be tied to his horse. No whining >:(.

Funny Valentine

Honestly what did you think he was going to do? Pick some random child? No no, He'd choose the PERFECT child! You were so lucky! Wow! The daughter of the mos powerful man ever! Lucky you, Right?

No. You don't get alone time unless it's you sleeping or bathing. You wear what he wants, and no.

Dating not allowed. Bad. No no no no no.

"No. No dating. Your lips will fall off."

"but mommys lips didn't-"

"Your face will melt off."

Basically you'd be bossed around and treated like royalty, as long as you listen to you dad!

Honestly I don't know if this is headcanons, if if it isn't feel free to scream at me in the comments-

AND I AM SO SORRY ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO ACTUALLY ANSWER, SO I HOPE YOU SEE THIS AND ARE ABLE TO ENJOY IT??? I GUESS???

[heavenaintaniceplace]

so i found my mother’s copy of the jw (new world translation) bible and i decided to yoink that shit for disposal but not before i realized there is a lot of lines highlighted in the book from when she was being manipulated by the jw lady that convinced her to do “bible study” for years. and what do you know if the lines the lady had my mother highlight weren’t the same lines that jws use to justify their cult beliefs! all the lines are cherry picked, no actual study, just the lady manipulating and priming her to accept their beliefs by presenting so called “biblical proof.” so here is some of the things that stand out before i finally rip this thing to shreds and through it away.

literally the whole book replaces every instance of the tetagrammaton with “jehovah” because they want people to believe its been “removed from the bible thousands of times because they don’t want you to know the true name of god”. the whole thing is translated with an agenda to make them look right and everyone else wrong and to make people believe they have some secret hidden knowledge (they don’t they’re liars). putting this under a read more because its very long.

heavy TW for everything related ro religious trauma, the jehovah’s witnesses, bible passages and christianity. incredibly long post. i plan on burning the jehovah’s witness copy of the bible, no joke.

the imago dei part of genesis to try and convince her that humans were super special to god

genesis chapter 3, the serpent convincing eve to eat the fruit of knowledge so that she would accept their version of the original sin doctrine and that women are cursed

chapter where cain kills abel to convince her that this was the first murder in human history (obviously incorrect)

highlighted the part where god kills everything on earth with a flood to groom her into expecting god to do it again later and seen as fair and just and part where god “gives” noah every living creature (because fuck other organisms apparently)

part of leviticus where (in their version) theyre like “no soul must eat blood” (what the fuck) to justify not allowing life saving blood transfusions

deuteronomy part about “jehovah being one” to justify being non trinitarian (they don’t believe jesus is god or that the holy spirit is god, this is meant to lure people who are already christians away from their denoms and into theirs)

“thou shall not kill” is highlighted for some reason and i don’t know why

highlighted job 1:12 to emphasize that they believe satan is in control of the world because god allows it and job 26:7 that has a note saying “the earth hangs there” when talking about sheol to convince her of where earth is relative to “heaven” and using a bunch of “face of the waters” creationist language to make it vague as possible. job 27:5 to make her believe that “no one is righteous” and that saying so is sinful

part in psalms that assures that “wicked people will be no more if you just wait a little while longer” (this is the apocalypse imminent narrative they use to groom people with fear of dying or leaving but also to get them warmed up to the idea of mass death). “the righteous will inherit the earth and live forever” narrative so they believe that jws will live on earth forever after being resurrected while everyone else (whos not a jw) is killed by god

psalms 91 to drive home the fact that these people think theyre invincible in every meaning of the word, to natural disasters and disease etc

proverbs 6 part about “false witnesses”. jws believe that three jehovah’s witnesses have to be present to verify that a crime (like domestic or sexual abuse) actually happened or the governing body and elders don’t care. literally. the “false witness” narrative is used against survivors and people they want to silence in their organization and emphasizes how much jehovah hates “false witnesses” aka people brave enough to talk and victims

proverbs 12:18 about “wise and unwise tongues”, basically anyone that speaks out against the jws are “unwise” and harmful

proverbs 22 about raising children (”train up a child”, if you don’t know it already this is a child abuser dog whistle) that implies that indoctrination will last until adulthood if done right. this is especially bad because this copy is from the early 2000s when i was in kindergarten. this woman had been lurking on us since i was an infant.

proverbs 27 about how neighbors near is better than brothers far away. the implication here is that fundamentally family who aren’t jws don’t matter

ecclesiates 5. i genuinely think its warning people to not ask too much of god or risk his anger, thats the vibe im getting here because the wording is confusing as fuck

isiah 40:22 trying to hammer in the notion that god is greater than anything especially “worldly” governments (except the governing body ofc /s). isiah 43:10 the “you are my witnesses” to justify the name “jehovah’s witnesses” and shoehorn the idea in

daniel 2:40, the idea of an indescribable kingdom, the whole kingdoms in the “last days” conspiracy they use to convince people the “last days” are coming

matthew 4:8 where jesus is persuaded by satan by offering every kingdom on earth. the point in text is “don’t worship anyone except god” but the point of the jws is that nothing on earth actually matters

matthew 6:9 (nice), the our father, meant to make the reader to ask god to hasten the kingdom of god or as we ex-jws know hasten the apocalypse and the death of people they dont like

matthew 16:24, meant to convince people to leave everything behind and join the jws, “disown yourself” aka “die to yourself” toxic bullshit repackaged

matthew 19:9, to convince people that divorce even in instances of domestic abuse is wrong because the governing body won’t allow it and loves to control women

matthew 24:4-14, “anyone who doesnt speak for the jws is a false prophet” and warms people up to the notion that war is necessary; also that evidence of war is a sign of the “last days” and that this is supposed to be good news. ongoing war and the hope for global genocide is “good news” to them.

matthew 24:21. this one is meant to make people feel the apocalypse could happen at any time and to be afraid of it, a great war is coming and only the “chosen ones” (jehovah’s witnesses) will survive when everyone else dies. there’s a paper bookmark on this page. makes me wonder.

mark 8:34. the “die to yourself” bullshit, the idea that the cross was a “torture stake” because jws believe that wearing crosses is idolatry and they want other people to believe their quirky beliefs so they accept heavier things

matthew 10:28, “anyone who follows jehovah and jesus will literally live forever!” but also that “no one is prepared to leave their family for jesus and thats shameful because you should want to sacrifice your entire family!”

mark 11:24 “anything you pray for earnestly you get”. this is spiritual bypassing btw. and :25 “ask for forgiveness and be automatically forgiven no matter what you did” is also fucked

matthew 15-23: jesus (almost) gets wasted while being crucified etc, not sure why this one is highlighted unless im missing some jw bullshit here

luke 20:27. don’t understand this one but they’re threatening “heavier judgement” on people

john 5:28, promising resurrection through jesus after people die but only for the Good tm people (the jws)

john 6:15. how jesus is about to be arrested but goes to a mountain. dunno why this on is underlined

john 11:24. bringing home the same “jesus will save you from dying if youre a jw” bullshit. john 14:6 “jesus is the ONLY way ever! there can’t be anything else except jesus” indoctrination tailored to make you co-dependent. john 17:3, hook line and sinker of promising resurrection and “eternal life” again

john 17:15. here is the “we aren’t of the World tm” shit meant to make you feel outcast from everyone else who isnt a jw, setting up “the world” (everyone else) as other

acts 15:25. “follow the jw rules because the holy spirit you to”

romans 10:10, spread jw beliefs and witness as much as possible. romans 12:9 “hate everything jehovah hates so you’re not a hypocrite” basically means hate other people the jws don’t approve of

corinthians 6:9 (nice but not so nice this time) “anyone we don’t like won’t inherit the earth” translation: anyone we don’t like won’t survive the apocalypse thats definitely happening soon so always be afraid. “homosexuals” are changed to “men kept for unnatural purposes for this one.” still homophobic.

corinthians 7:6, the idea that everyone has a gift that needs to be exploited and used by the jws

corinthians 15:33. “don’t participate in any activities with any outsiders because it will lead you away from jehovah!! fun is ‘drunkenness’, you’ll loose your resurrection if you do!! non jw people are bad influences!!”

2 corinthians 7:1. your body and flesh is defiled, you need to be cleansed in order to be good

galatians 5:20. “having human emotions is sinful! struggling is sinful! being angry is sinful! having a bad day is sinful!” basically that being human is inherently wrong or something

ephesians  3:14. tries to make people believe everything is owed to god only and that obedience is good so they fall for cult power structures later. 4:28 here is just the top of the page being labeled “new personality” and thats all we need to know about indoctrination and cult personality vs actual personality. also “let not the sun set with you in a provoked state” being used against people still angry about being wronged and hurt by others and its been used against me a lot of times

ephesians 6:4. make sure the jw fathers provide the most discipline to children, literally uses the phrase “mental regulating of jehovah”. it couldn’t be more cult like at this point.

timothy 5:8 makes people believe that men alone are expected to provide and if they don’t they’re worse than “those without faith”. no pressure though!

timothy 6:19. wants people to neglect everything actually happening in favor of the “real life” (”eternal life”) instead and to constantly prepare for that instead of actually living life. dedicate your whole life to jw activities

titus 2. women need to be subjects to their husbands but also homemakers, live to glorify their husband, chaste and definitely not mentally ill or showing any symptoms. what the fuck is titus i never heard of this shit until today.

hebrews 1:7-14, trying to convince people that angels live to serve god but also has some superseccsionist/replacement theology (antisemitism) vibes going on

james 2:23, wants people to believe that god “putting people to the test” is actually a way to become “jehovah’s friend” and that being put to the test (read: suffering) is actually a good thing because it primes them to accept suffering as their fault later on. james 4:7 “everything evil will vanish if you rebuke it long enough!!”

peter 3:9 the “god’s timing is always right” gospel bs and encourages people not to do things themselves but to wait and also that jehovah will be on time when its time to start another global genocide. how encouraging! peter 3:13, the same “end of world near” scare tactic, “new heavens new earth” promise to eradicate everyone the jws dont like as that is jehvoah’s “promise” to the witnesses

1 john 3:8, their version of the original sin doctrine, the devil is the source of all evil scare tactic etc

short detour: every instance of “servant” is replaced with “slave” in this version. it makes me feel ill.

revelations 7:16, wants people to believe that god will take away all their pain and that they won’t need food or water to survive anymore (bullshit). also the jehovah’s witness 144,000 chosen people bullshit is here too but not highlighted

revelations 12:7-13, a depiction fo michael drop kicking satan and the implication that satan has always been in charge and not god because they want people to believe that. also that the devil will fall to earth and try to eat jws

revalations 14-4: virgins get dibs on heaven and god i guess. i dont know what the fuck is going on. 14:6 an angel yelling fear god from above, probably where the jws get most of their apocalyptic imagery from that they use to scare children into believing they could die at any minute

so now that we finally got to the end of that mess, their version of revalations ends with jesus saying “yes, i am coming quickly” and “may the undeserved kindness of jesus christ be with the holy ones.”

joking aside, everything highlighted in this copy of this book has been used against me and my mother for years and is a huge part of the reason i have religious trauma now. everything she was told or encouraged to highlight aided jehovah’s witness indoctrination and propaganda, her own indoctrination and eventually mine which apparently started even earlier than i thought.

#ex christian #haanp.txt #ex jehovah's witness #ex jw #exvangelical #religious trauma

[odaatlover]

My Coming Out Story

Note: This story will include a lot of binary-ness in order to properly convey my thoughts and feelings, since that’s how I saw the world for most of my life. 

It was sometime around 7th grade when I began to realize that I liked girls. Of course, there were signs way before then -- always wanting to be the “man” when playing house, always using the pronouns “she/her” when making up love songs, constantly removing the clothes from my sister’s Barbie dolls…and this all happened when I was in the single digits. But around 12 years old was when I became curious about other girls in a way that -- looking back now -- was more than just friendly. I liked boys, they made good friends since I had more in common with them than with other girls, but something about girls was more alluring to me. I had a curiosity for them that was indescribable. Of course, now that I’m an adult, I know exactly how to describe it…GAY AF. 

There was this one girl that I found really attractive…we’ll call her Anne, for the sake of anonymity. Anne was in my class in 7th grade, and I found myself looking at her (AKA, checking her out) quite often. In 8th grade, Anne was in the same P.E. class as me. When changing out in the locker rooms, I always chose the locker close to hers. At the time, I thought it was because I just liked that particular locker…NOPE. Turns out it was just because I liked that particular Anne. I would steal glances at her body, which I’m a little embarrassed to admit now because it seems very stalkerish, but if you’re not creepily stalking your crush at 13 years old, are you really even 13 years old? See, I had no idea it was possible to even be attracted to girls like that, because my parents did an excellent job of shielding me from the “gay lifestyle” (nice try, ‘rents). So, I didn’t think anything of it. I just assumed that I was OBSESSED with her because I wanted to be her, not because I was attracted to her or anything. So I proceeded to carry out the rest of my middle school career with the carefree mindset that I was just like everyone else my age. Ah, the serenity. 

Then I went to high school…and 9th grade was a game changer for me. I found out that, plot twist, you actually can be gay! (insert well-known Home Alone Macaulay Culkin picture here) 

I started to notice myself eye humping paying more attention to girls around me, and I began to question my sexuality. Do I like girls? Am I gay? I like boys too though, right? I mean, I must, because obviously in every single movie and TV show I’ve ever seen, girls like boys…I’m probably bi. Yep, that’s it, I’m bi. Mystery solved!

…that lasted all of three days after making the dreadful mistake of looking at porn sites with naked men on our home computer while my parents were out of the house. *shudders*

Nope. Definitely not bi. I only like girls. 100%. 

But then a thought occurred to me…can I really say that if I’ve never had a boyfriend before? I don’t think I can…I need a boyfriend! 

A couple months later, after daily bartering and promises to a god that I didn’t believe in that I would do my chores every day in exchange for a boyfriend (as if god somehow cared that my room was kept clean and the dishwasher was emptied regularly), a miracle happened…the very awkward boy in my P.E. class that had I had never spoken more than two words to passed me a note that said, verbatim, “I like you. Will you be my girlfriend?” And of course, I said ‘yes’. I was beyond excited…until the next day, when the initial excitement of the thought of having a boyfriend had worn off, and I realized that this guy was my boyfriend. Before, I was only thinking about the label ‘boyfriend’, not about what the job actually entailed. I took one look at him and had this sinking feeling in my stomach that something wasn’t right. I had a boyfriend…not a girlfriend, a boyfriend. I had to hold this guy’s bulky hand, and hang out with him outside of school, and converse with him, and kiss him. And none of that sounded appealing to me. Needless to say, that relationship didn’t last very long. And honestly, I’m not even sure if I can call it a relationship since we never held hands, never kissed, and never spoke outside of that P.E. class. In fact, I barely even spoke to him during P.E. class. I avoided that boy like the plague, and the only thing that dictated that we were even together was the fact that I had changed my status on Myspace to “in a relationship”. I mean, I had a better connection with my dog -- who was a female, ironically. 

It wasn’t until I was 15 and nearing the end of 10th grade that I had finally told one of my friends. She was one of those friends that I was kind of close to, but not super close to. I specifically picked her because I knew she would be okay with it, but just in case she wasn’t, I wouldn’t be super heartbroken about losing her as a friend. I texted her (of course) that there was this girl that I liked -- not Anne, someone completely different, because teens move quick -- and she was super cool with it! 

A couple of months later at band camp, I was eating lunch in the dining hall with the guys on the drum line with me, and an attractive girl from another camp walked by, and one of the guys said, “Whoa, that girl is hot!” The rest of the guys at the table verbally agreed, and I naturally nodded my head in silence. He noticed, and with a surprised look asked me, “You think she’s hot?” I paused, doing the whole internal dialogue of do I lie or do I use this moment to come out? I chose the latter, and nodded my head. With an even more surprised look, he asked, “Are you gay?” I nodded my head again. The guys at the table looked around at each other and basically said, “Oh, cool.” Some were surprised, some were not so surprised, but nobody said anything negative. By the end of band camp, pretty much the entire band knew, and I was out! 

After that, I decided to change my newly created Facebook profile to say “interested in women”. I set it to where only my friends at school could see, since they already knew, and it felt really freeing. 

…turns out it was set to public, and my mom saw it. This was a couple of months after band camp. It was a September day, and she was driving me home from a lesson I had with my percussion teacher. With a small laugh she asked, “Why does your Facebook profile say that you’re interested in women?” She obviously thought that it was a mistake -- and a very amusing one at that -- and I did the internal dialogue thing again. Am I ready? Do I take the opportunity and just run with it? There’s never going to be a good time, and everyone at school already knows. Might as well just get it over with now. With a very small voice, I said, “Because I am.” She stopped laughing, and the car got really quiet. The amused smile was wiped from her face, and was replaced by a look of something that resembled a mix of pain, disappointment, and confusion. I had never been more terrified in my entire life, than in that moment. You see, I come from a very religious, very conservative, Trump-supporting southern white family. So, to say that she wasn’t okay with it, was an understatement. (Author’s note: What the f*ck was I thinking??) 

She was quiet the rest of the ten-minute drive home with a frown plastered on her face, obviously trying to figure out what to say to her ‘confused’ daughter, since she had been completely blindsided. And I just sat there looking ahead at the road, trembling with sweaty palms and a racing heartbeat, realizing that I had just made a terrible mistake. 

When we got home, she forced me to tell my dad. My dad has the same personality as me – witty, unassertive, avoids confrontation, wouldn’t hurt a fly, nerdy. Growing up, my mom was the ‘scary’ parent. I wasn’t afraid of what my dad would say in response, because he’s a very calm man, unlike my mom (not that she’s a man). But as soon as she said I had to tell him, I began to freak out, because it meant that I would have to come out again. Having to come out like that two times in a short span of 15 minutes is a lot for a young 16-year-old. Not only that, but I had never actually said the words “I’m gay” or “I like girls” out loud to someone before. I told my friend through text, I nodded my head at band camp, and the only words I had said to my mom were “because I do.” In order to tell my dad, I was going to have to actually tell him that I was gay, which terrified me more than anything in my entire life. I wasn’t ready for that, and yet I was being forced into doing so. 

I walked up to my parents’ bedroom where he was lying in bed reading a book, with my mom following closely behind me. She told him that I had something to tell him, and he got up and just looked at me with confusion. I stood there, frozen, unable to get the words out. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. 

“Go ahead, tell him what you told me.” My mom said as she waited impatiently with her arms folded sternly across her chest. I instantly broke down and started crying, and my dad just hugged me. I finally was able to choke out the words “I like girls” through my sobs, and my dad just audibly swallowed in response and continued to hug me. 

The rest of that day is a bit of a blur, considering that was over 10 years ago, but basically once I had calmed down, my parents told me it wasn’t right, that I was confused, that marriage is between a man and a woman, that two women can’t even have sex together because their ‘parts don’t fit’, blah blah blah. After that, my mom would sit down with me every night and we’d do ‘bible study’ together. This was on top of the Sunday morning, Sunday evening, and Wednesday night church services I had already been forced to attend since I was born. I was never a religious person, and even as a little kid I hated going to church, so you can imagine how awful it was having to read a book I didn’t believe in every single night with my homophobic mother, basically hating myself. This lasted pretty much until I graduated and left for college, two years later. 

I never officially came out to my older sister. My parents told her, and she and I never really talked about it because I was too afraid that she would treat me the same way as my mom. Everyone at school was supportive though. Nobody in my life had a problem with it except for my parents, so I began to gravitate towards my friends and away from my family. 

In 12th grade, I had this friend that I was getting really close to. I worked up the courage to tell her that I liked her, and it didn’t go as well as planned. She blocked me on Facebook and never spoke to me again. Whenever she saw me in the hallways at school, she would move to the other side and avoid eye contact. That was a bit difficult to get through, seeing as it was the first time I ever told a girl that I liked her. But a few months later I got my first girlfriend, so it was okay. I didn’t need that girl anyways. *holds up ‘90s ‘talk to the hand’ gesture* Oh, and I was with my first girlfriend for almost a year and a half (with the first year being long distance since she was a grade below me and then went to the same college as me the next year), but we weren’t compatible. Honestly, we were both tops, and even more honestly, I would’ve said yes to any girl at that point. But she was cool, and we still talk from time to time. So it’s all good. 

When I got to college, I wasn’t shy about my sexual orientation. I got my degree in music education, and the majority of the guys at the music school were gay, so I knew it was a safe space. Nobody had a problem with it, and I was actually pretty popular and had a lot of friends. There were a lot of gay gays, but I was pretty much the only lesbian, which made me well-known. College life was great! Whenever I would have to go home for breaks, I felt sick to my stomach. I didn’t want to go back to that house. I didn’t want to go back to my parents. I wanted to stay in my safe little world with my supportive friends where I could make my own decisions, and wasn’t forced to go to church. My college was only two hours away from ‘home’, but thankfully it was just far enough that I didn’t have to go back often. 

Skip to 2019 (two bad relationships later), and both of my parents are still unsupportive, but at least they don’t say anything when I bring my wife to family get-togethers. They’re polite. My sister LOVES my wife, and we often hang out with my sister and her husband. Even though religion is very important to her, she’s way more open-minded than my parents, and is accepting of my sexuality and recognizes my marriage as one that’s equal to hers. After I came out to my parents, I kind of lost that relationship I had with them. I’m not super close to them, since they never truly made me feel loved and accepted. They supported me in every other aspect of my life, but couldn’t fully embrace who I was, since they don’t believe that my sexuality is real, but rather just a sin and a man-made thought put into my head by modern society. 

I currently only live 20 minutes away from my parents, but only visit them for special occasions. I definitely visit way less often since the passing of our family dog back in September, which made me realize that she was the main reason I would go over there. My sister and her husband live one neighborhood over from my parents, and I’ll visit them as often as I can. I don’t have the best relationship with my parents, but honestly, at this age I am 100% okay with that. I don’t rely on them for anything anymore, and I have an amazing wife, wonderful friends who I consider my family, and a supportive sister. I don’t need my parents, and that’s okay.

So, if you’re a young person who’s currently in the closet or who has come out and is having an awful experience with it, just know that it truly does get better. I know everyone says that, and it’s probably difficult to believe at this point in your life, but it really is true, I promise. 

And if you’re a parent whose kid is struggling with their own sexuality, then my advice to you is to be supportive. Tell them that you love them. And tell them that you support them, even if you don’t. The last thing you want to do is make them feel like who they are is invalid or wrong, because you will lose them. Even if you’re there for them through everything else, if you can’t get on board with something that is a part of their very being, you will lose them. 

Thank you for reading my story, and I hope this helps someone out there ❤️

#coming out story #LGBT #lesbian #gay #it gets better #about me

[strawberry-milktea]

Hi Rachel, it's the anon from yesterday with the atheist family members. Well, later that Sunday I went to church and when I got back my dad mocked me by saying the Bible tells people to pray in private (I think he was referring to Matthew 6:6). All throughout the day, I kept feeling bothered remembering the things he told me (mainly the stuff in the previous messages like "What if God decided tomorrow that killing was good?"). I would really appreciate some real answers. (continued)

Like I know other people in my place might just ignore his questions and not care. But I would really appreciate some arguments to counter what he said… not only just in case he bothers me with those questions again, but also for my own peace of mind, because honestly, he is beginning to make me believe less in God existing (which is what he wants), all because I can’t “correctly” answer the things he brought up to me. (continued)    Like I mentioned, I’m already pretty unstable, and a lot of times, knowing (or just “thinking”? I don’t even know anymore…) that God is with me is what kept me going this year. Every time I’ve been in pain, I’ve put it in God’s hands. And now my dad is trying to take that away from me. Plus so will my other family members. if I see them for this year’s Christmas (ironically enough). So yeah. I am just feeling confused and upset right now and this could very possibly be a breaking point for me.            —Hi again!Regarding praying:

“And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” - Matthew 6:5-6

These verses aren’t condemning praying together with others as an inherently bad thing. The focus Jesus was making here is to not be hypocritical in prayer, praying for the sake of putting on a show for others instead of to communicate with Him. Are there people in church who pray with others purely for the sake of appearing a certain way in the eyes of others? Unfortunately, yes. But not everyone who prays with others is guilty of doing this. Here is the commentary from my study Bible on these verses, which I find helpful:

“Some people, especially the religious leaders, wanted to be seen as ‘holy’, and public prayer was one way to get attention. Jesus saw through their self-righteous acts, however, and taught that the essence of prayer is not a public style but private communication with God. There is a place for public prayer, but to pray only where others will notice you indicates that your real audience is not God.”

“Some have concluded that Jesus’ directions about private prayer call into question all public prayer. Jesus’ own practice indicates this wasn’t His intention. The Gospels record Jesus at prayer both privately (Matthew 14:23) and publicly (Matthew 14:18-19). Again, Jesus was drawing attention to the motives behind the actions. The point really wasn’t a choice between public and private prayer, but between heartfelt and hypocritical prayer. When asked to pray in public, focus on addressing God, not on how you’re coming across to others.”

I answered your other concerns in the previous ask I answered from you, I will provide the link here in case you didn’t see it already.From what you are saying here, it sounds like your dad’s intent is to mock and actually destroy your faith. If that is the case, I stress the advice I gave in the previous ask once again - please seek Him in prayer and ask Him to guide you as to whether He wants you to continue engaging in discussion with your dad at this time. Regarding Christmas, if you predict Christmas will be an opportunity for him along with other family members to gang up on you and attack your faith, you may want to consider if it’s worth attending the celebration with them. Or at the very least, I would suggest to consider addressing this before Christmas and make it clear that you are apprehensive about spending the holiday with them because you dread it will become a means of bullying you about your faith. If they understand and agree to be respectful, then you could make the decision as to whether or not you want to spend the holiday with them. Personally speaking, I would rather be alone on Christmas or with friends who love Him than in the company of family members who are mocking and bullying me. But that’s just how I would personally handle it, you may have a different approach.. I am just concerned since their behavior seems to be effecting and hurting you so deeply. Once again, the Christmas gathering is another thing I would also suggest for you to take to Him in prayer.Don’t be discouraged, as you grow stronger in your faith in Him/knowledge of scripture and rely more heavily on Him guiding/providing the right words, it will become easier to know what to say. Don’t allow your family members to destroy your faith and peace. Remember always that they are under the enemy’s influence and don’t even have a clue that they are being used by him to attack you. Like the Word tells us, we are not fighting against flesh and blood, aka people - in your case, the true battle is not against your atheist family members. The true battle is spiritual and unseen, instigated by the enemy and the evil spiritual beings that do his work. Don’t allow the enemy to use their hurtful actions to hinder you from loving and forgiving them, and don’t allow him to use them to make you doubt your faith in Christ.Let me know if you have any other questions!

#God #asks #anon #witnessing for Christ

[kaellouis]

Finding SS (Finding that Special Sister/Someone) or How I Met that SS

This will be my first blog entry and surprisingly enough it’s going to be about my differing relationships with sisters inside the Church.

The thing is... I don’t really know where to start. Even before I became a disciple I already had romantic relationships, although I wouldn’t really consider serious, are still somehow relevant in my life. “But Michael, why are you writing about your relationships and inside the church in particular”? Well, I’m glad I asked, it’s because these sisters either changed me or (the term I’d rather choose) influenced me to become the person who I am today. As much as I would love to name these “lovelies” and “Felicias”, I can but I won’t, to of course preserve my dignity, instead I will call them with a thing that reminds me of them or... an alias will do. Enough with the pleasantries, let’s get this over with.

Before I start with the first sister, I’ll give you a spoiler to save your time in case you’re wondering if I did find that sister, well all I can say is that I’m single so I’m not currently dating any of them. I’ll vividly describe them and my relationship with them though so you could tell me if I blew up on one your ships.

Chapter 1: DOTA [Girl] aka Angelica

Part 1

I guess I could start here. Well, she is and was the first sister I fell for (and fell for really hard nonetheless). It was on the Inauguration Day of the Church when I first saw her. The service just ended and she was crying. We never really had the chance to talk much but I remembered why she cried, it was because she used to attend our former church and saw how it drifted and now it’s like she’s seeing what it used to be and that now she can finally be a part of it. Weeks after her Bible Studies, she got baptised and was discipled directly by my aunt (talk about the odds being in my favor). From what I remember, just a week after her baptism, I asked her to go on a Kingdom Date with me. Now for those who don’t belong in our Church, Kingdom Dates are what you would call “obligatory” Tinder-like double (or triple) dates wherein you get to know each other and supposedly attract each other to Christ, not to yourself (yeah right) and so that’s what we did, we went on a date (Remember this term as it would constantly appear).

We went to MOA, and yes, we were with another pair. I’m actually a very shy and rather awkward guy when it comes to sisters or girls that I like (especially on the first date). I’m sorry if you’re reading this Angelica and if I get some or most of the story wrong, it is from my own perspective after all and I tend to romanticize or exaggerate a little. Plus, no offence but since most of these scenes happened more than two years ago, I won’t be able to get all of it right, except for the important ones of course. Okay, enough of that, let’s get back. Yes, it was a cloudy day and my newly bought iPhone 4s from Lazada just arrived right before I head on out to meet with them. It was actually a pretty memorable day. The first picture on my 4s were of the bowling shoes that I wore when we went to the bowling alley at MOA. Yes, we played bowling and I suck. I got the lowest score among the four of us while she got the highest. It was a pretty bad way to start the date in terms of me trying to impress her and the worst part was, she tried to sympathize me, how lame could that possibly get? Anyways, we ate at Mang Inasal after (I can’t believe I remember this) and finally had the chance to properly introduce ourselves. Come to think of it, I haven’t described how she looks like yet (well... allow me to do just about that). I’m not really into physical appearance... “Oh God Michael, stop telling yourself that, you know it matters”. Well I’d be lying if I disagree with myself but I’d also be lying if that’s all that matters to me. I remember saying to a sister once (and yes, she is a part of this list) that what captures my heart is what captures my ear (heart-ht=ear, I’m a genius). True enough, she’s not what you would call a supermodel but she is indeed attractive and... cute? (I’m sorry for the term but she is rather short, thank God) She had a medium-short black hair, a rather oblong-like face with a distinguished chin. She closely resembles a mestiza just because her eyes aren’t chinky and she’s quite pale. But her eyes though, those hazel-brown iris when arrayed by sunlight just speaks how beautiful the soul of this woman is. Needless to say she’s one of those “lovelies” I introduced earlier and I’ll tell you why in a bit. Her choice of clothing is not what you would call “feminine” and I’m not really fond as to why that is. All I know is that she has a background of being with guys most of the time and that she’s taking Aeronautical Engineering (not to mention having ROTC as her NSTP) so why do I even bother to ask? Also, she wears glasses and I really dig that.

(I will be adding these “inside-parentheses” sentences a lot to tell you most of my thoughts while writing this. I’m actually more inclined to writing “formally” so I’d like to “formally” apologize if my style does not suit you (I suggest you go reading those jeje romcom confessionals or Reddit posts on Facebook or something). Rather than being “fun” and playful, I’d like to stick with this style, thank you very much but yeah. At this point, I can only say that this is going to be one hell of an entry.)

Oh, Angelica, I’d rather say your real name though but I won’t. Anyway, after our meal, we went to Sea Side and just walked back and forth looking for a place to chat (a customary thing after the “main” date activities). It was a rather cloudy day with a wee touch of sunshine so it wasn’t that hot while we were strolling. I’ve been on a lot of Kingdom Dates but the fact that I remember this one so clearly just speaks for itself. That stroll was so memorable because I got to know (what I would like to believe) the real M.. I mean Angelica (almost had me there). We talked about our individual dreams and aspirations and how we’d get there, we talked about our outlook and views about life and then we talked about God and I could remember how she dreams of having her own charity and outreach centre for the poor and orphaned, we even talked about things you would not necessarily talk about with someone you’re not really close to. But the one thing that I could never forget that day was when I asked her to define what love is (so cheesy), and as her gentle and sweet voice began to outspokenly utter the very same thing I had in mind, I could feel my heart pulsing and my pupils dilating (being that it was really rare for me to hear that definition).

“Love is a choice, not a feeling nor an emotion”

By now, that definition is what you would consider a cliche but during that time, it was something rather vague and indescribable and hearing that specific definition from her just sent shivers down my spine and goosebumps on the tip of my arm hair. It was something that captured my ear in turn captivating my heart making me see her as not just that flabby girl with glasses but an intricate and fascinating soul who’s more than what meets the eye. Of course it’s not just because of that. What a shallow excuse to base my sudden infatuation on an answer that just about anyone can say but no, it only started there. You see, there were two things that I learned that day. Aside from her being good (and I mean really good) at bowling or how beautiful she is (more on the inside, and I think we already established that), is that oh God... she’s just so beautiful (cause she is) and that we’re more alike than we think (or should I say “than I think”). I was pretty sure that we said that to each other on one occasion long after that day but I just couldn’t bring myself to remember why we though that. Maybe it was because of our same perspective in life or our weird fascination towards dark and creepy stuff or that we’re both gamers or maybe even our tendency to have weird mannerisms? (I’d actually like to talk more about that) I really don’t know why I would forget such an important detail. Anyways, fast forward to a couple of weeks and I get a rather exciting yet terrifying news, I was about to become a Bible Talk leader.

Part 2

Okay, I’ve always wanted to be a Bible Talk leader, well, not solely for the sake of being one but I dreamt of being more than just that. My Kingdom dream was and I still believe that it is, to become an Evangelist of the Kingdom of God.   Why, you ask? It’s because I want to be used by God in the most powerful way and what more noble call is there than to serve a vast number of God’s people by leading them? This was actually one of the things we talked about at Sea Side that day and I remember telling her that exact same reason why I wanted to be one. But the reason why I wanted to be a Bible Talk leader was because I needed to start from there in order to achieve my dream and after being a disciple for over a year that time, I would say I had a slow start compared to other disciples presently. Nevertheless, I was scared when my uncle told me that I was to become a Bible Talk leader. Not only will it be my first time to lead a group of my own and to actually be responsible for it but I’ll also get to lead it with someone (a partner would say), and by now you must have an idea who that someone is, yes, it’s a sister and not just any sister, it’s THE SISTER. In my head back then it was the best idea but if it were me right now, it was the worst idea ever. Why? Because later on this line, things will go downhill for me and this sister.

I was scared, scared of the fact that I have no idea of what I’ll be doing. All those what ifs and the likelihood of failing my duties kept roaming inside my head but at the same time I was glad that my uncle decided to appoint me and entrusted me with such a responsibility... [Part 2/4 Co-Leading Days and Back to Strangers] to be added

Coming Soon!

Chapter 2: Orange [Girl] aka Tala

Chapter 3: Bookmark [Girl] aka Maria

Food Sisters Arc (Highly Inappropriate Arc)

Chapter 4: Beer [Girl] aka Italia

Chapter 5: Siopao [Girl] aka Felicia

Chapter 6: Milktea [Girl] aka Michaela

Bonus: Outside Interests

Chapter 7: Miso [Girl] aka Shania

Chapter 8: Bracelet [Girl] aka Laura

Chapter 9: ???

Conclusion

Chapter 10: Regrets

Chapter 11: Lessons

Chapter 12: That SS Who Got Away

#romance #relationsips

[guardiandae]

OKAY it’s time for that write up about my trip to Boston

aka Why I’m Glad I’m Still Alive and also Dae Makes Bad Life Choices And Needs To Be Grounded :c 

(long, long post)

okay so, my friend H takes a trip down to Boston every year to visit her friend D who goes to college there. She invited me to go a few days beforehand, and as luck would have it I managed to arrange to have Friday & Saturday off work, and Sunday closing shift, so I could make it down there and back.

Of course, I had a runny nose and stuff beforehand... and then the night before (Thursday night, I think) I had a really hard time at work bc I felt feverish... I got home and my temp went up from 99.6 (which is already 100% a fever for me, my temp runs low) to 101.3 during the night. I kept waking up every three hours, and I had to get a bag of ice to press against my head. I went to bed early but slept in longer than I expected so I got like 13 hours of sleep and felt a lot better in the morning, aside from a sore throat. Actually, my throat does this fun thing where from time to time, it will close up on me and I can’t breathe. It can happen even from drinking water. So I took cough syrup and my throat closed up. Yikes. No more cough syrup for me, just cold & flu tablets! I can’t remember the other incident, maybe I drank something harsh, but I remember it did that twice, two times in two days. So, yeah. Gotta be careful what I drink with this sore throat.

Friend wants me to spend Friday night at her house so we can leave at 3am Saturday. So I go to H’s house, with her boyfriend T. My throat is like, raw as fuck. We hang out, they pack, and we all take a nap before we leave. I get like another 3 hours of sleep, then we all get up and hit the road.

We pick up T’s friend, S.  My friend H keeps trying to hook me up with S despite the fact that I am 1. gay 2. asexual 3. not interested in douchebags. And she’s been teasing me about the fact that, S and I will have to share a bed at the hotel. My god. Mind you, the plan she has in Boston is to take me to a strip club and I’m like, sdgkdfkgjd. No? Maybe. No.

We stop at a gas station and I get myself a big powerade for my RAW AS FUCK throat. Swallowing is seriously painful at this point. My friend swaps seats to sit beside me in the back, so now T and S are in the front. THEY FUCKING START CHAINSMOKING ALL THE WAY DOWN. So they have their windows cracked, freezing cold air pouring in, secondhand smoke making my eyes water and lungs burn, all the way down. Maybe at most they would stop for two minutes and then, boom, another FUCKING cigarette. On top of that, they listened to really gross rap music on the way down, like violent, sexually-explicit, drug-endorsing songs that were just honestly annoying lyrics aside, total crap, lol.

My friend and I show each other memes (she pronounces it me-me and I think it’s too funny to correct her) all the way down. We arrive at her friend D’s campus at about 6am. He has keys to all the buildings and has to make rounds, so we’re going to walk with him all across his campus.

D is a really interesting dude. My friend H told me, “he’s a bible-thumper” beforehand and I was like, eh. great. But he’s this 40-ish year old guy going to a religious college studying to be a minister. He’s super friendly and considerate as soon as we meet him. It’s 6am in January, fairly warm considering the time of year, but I’m still in just my hoodie and SICK, so while I was kind of excited for the experience, my body is so not. We’re going from building to building, up flights of stairs and back down again, and I am wheezing. My voice is pretty rough at this point too.

But let’s talk about the school, and the setting, because... I love it.

In Maine (my state) the trees here are mostly pines, maples, oaks, etc.

But in Boston, I’m not sure what kind of trees they might be, but my gosh. It’s a grey, chilly day (my favorite weather 100% honestly, too bad I was sick) and the trees are bare. Their branches are all twisted in different directions, like the fingers on an old man. Ever seen those kind of forests from creepy horror movies? They are just like that and it’s absolutely gorgeous. Most of the buildings on campus are very old, so some of them still have old fashioned latches, like the thumb-latches in my grandfather’s house.

The other thing I really loved about the campus, is that the students attending are actually very liberal and diverse, despite the religious focus. As D put it later, the other three people in our group, H, T, and S, doubled the population of straight (and cis) students by being on campus. Haha.

Anyway, I survive running around campus, and then we head down to catch the Green Line subway into town. At this point, I really wish I had realized we were going to be gone from the car for several hours, because I would've at least grabbed my hat. :c

This is the first time I've ever been on anything like a subway and I'm so glad that we had D with us to be our guide, because it was so confusing. The car was packed with people because of the Women's March going on. I don't know how this compares to other subways, but this went pretty fast and had a lot of hills and turns, and with every change in momentum I'm hanging onto the rail for dear fucking life trying not to fall over. My friend H has a lot of anxiety, especially around crowds of people, and riding this subway itself, so she is SHAKING and trying really hard to just hold on and get through the ride, and so am I. We get off a big station and decide to go up and walk the rest of the way instead of waiting for the next car, because my friend and I are curious to see the march going on.

We ended up walking around a lottt down all of these different side streets. H, T and S wanted to find a big tall building to go all the way to the top floor and take pictures, so we kept trying to enter different buildings at random, and most of them were locked and one we were politely told to leave, lol.

The whole walking around event was kind of more random than planned... we ended up at Bruins arena which I think was my friend's only actual goal, so she could buy her brother a gift. We saw tons of protesters everywhere and I got one of the pink hats from a nice lady who brought extras. But after that, our wandering was pretty aimless. We headed towards Boston market (still trying to find tall buildings) and accidentally stumbled onto the Holocaust memorial.

H and I were like 'oh... damn' and of course, I had to go in. The memorial consists of four towers made of panes of glass, with steam inside rising up. When I walked into the first one, the panes of glass had quotes from survivors of the Holocaust written on both sides in side, and on every single pane of glass, going up to the sky, there were the serial numbers the nazis tattooed onto people. I took a few pictures, but once I entered that first tower I put my phone away because it just didn't feel right. We walked through and read each quote... I was trying not to cry because the two guys with us (D excluded) were pretty douchey and I wasn't sure they even would, y'know, care. But when I read one of the quotes about the homosexuals being put into the death camps, I definitely cried and I was like, yeah. This is why we fight. This is why we can't stop fighting.

When we left, H was pretty shaken too (the quotes about children were the ones that got to her the most, I think) and D suggested that we head to the farmer's market to try to lighten up the mood. While we were walking there, S decides to ask a question, in a suspiciously condescending tone of voice, "I wonder what the founding fathers would think about all of this."

The rest of us were like, ???  "Think about what?"

S: "You know, the protests that are going on right now."

Guys, my voice was half gone but you know I clapped back.

"They'd probably think that they're exercising their CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS??? What do you think the founding fathers did against the British???"

Then he said something about how, people keep pushing and pushing for more rights, and he thinks that's a bad thing because it just ends up dividing people into more and more different groups and takes away rights from others. At this point I was like, HOLY SHIT, this fucking white boy is one of those people who thinks that EQUAL RIGHTS means his rights are somehow being TAKEN AWAY from HIM. Like, you DO realize that my great-great grandmother and your great-great grandmother didn't have the fucking right to vote??? and in MY lifetime, I had to go fucking vote on my  right to get MARRIED??? It didn't take away SHIT from poor helpless straight white men, it just GAVE more people the SAME FUCKING RIGHTS. HOLY FUCK.

So anyway we headed on to the market area, checked out the Newbury Comics store and I was exciiited bc I found a cute pair of knee-high socks to buy (my new aesthetic). But while in pursuit of my knee-highs, I wandered too close to the Dick's bar, and at this point everyone was ready to drink/eat and had been searching for a bar for a while. There were sooo many to choose from, including really nice looking Irish bars, and historic old bars, which I actually wanted to check out. But which bar did we go to? The fucking cock-themed bar.

They ordered drinks. I just sat by them kind of uncomfortably bc everything is not only "I love dicks" but the mascot is a sleezy overweight balding man and the waitress makes fart jokes. Like. For real. But I'm watching the tv, making small talk with D (who is awesome) and H, while S and T get drinks and fries. Some guy brings his CHILD into this establishment, and is apparently very familiar with their theme bc he plays right along with the waitress's fart jokes like he sees her every Saturday or something. What the hell. Then the party at the opposite end starts putting on these huge condom hats made out of white paper. I can hear a child crying on the other side, maybe the same kid. Why the fuck. And then the waitress starts kind of badgering ME now, like, "Why are you just sitting there without a drink?" I tell her, in my really hoarse voice, "If I have any alcohol I'm pretty sure I will stop breathing" and she's just like "Well it's not like you can't have a water or a juice"  (me: where the fuck is there water or juice advertised ANYWHERE on this shitty menu??? also the food was ridiculously overpriced otherwise I would've been happy to order >_< )  and then I look over and realize that, S has already had two beers, but he JUST ordered a fucking THIRD. Now I'm angry and I tell my friend I don't wanna sit in this (shitty) bar all day, so I'm going to head to the comic store again.

Comic store is right across the street.... but... I'm legitimately pissed off right now, so as soon as I step outside I'm like, actually, lol, fuck off, bye, I'm gone.

And I just keep walking, back the way we came in. I sit down at a bench for a while, half thinking that D or H had followed me, but nobody had. So I'm like, cool, and contemplating actually buying a train ticket home if I had to. But I'm sick as fuck and my legs are killing me and my lungs are wheezing and it's cold and I know that no train goes all the fucking way home, so I'm like, :)))

I decided to go and see something that *I* wanted to see so I looked at my phone and saw the Samuel Adams statue was nearby. They texted me "where are you" and I told them Sam Adams (of course, knowing them they probably looked for a damn bar). But I got lost getting to the statue, lmao, bc it was RIGHT BESIDE ME and I was expecting something larger and headed towards a crowd of people instead. By the time I circled back, I hung up on like three phone calls and ignored several texts, just texted back again "sam adams" when they asked where I was. Took a picture of the statue, then sat down again and waited. Still more texts and calls to not respond to. Finally I was really annoyed but got up to go back to the bar and was thinking, if they aren't here, I'm fucking off again, lol. But they were there and ... my friend H was in tears.

Uh oh. Nice going, Dae.

I put my frustration aside and just fell back into step... she didn't talk to me for a little while. I felt like such an asshole. It was only later I saw some texts that hadn't come through then... half of them already had their phones dead, the others were almost dead, and they'd texted me that they were going to head to the car without me and pick me up in a couple hours. Of courese, my phone was low battery too. I almost fucking stranded myself in Boston, extremely sick, with no cellphone, please ground me.

We went back to the subway (there was another station right near to us, thankfully, so no long walk), and rode all the way back to our original station. Then we had to trek back UP the hill we came down from the campus... I was wheezing hard.

Everyone crashed in D's room for a while. I collapsed on the couch and they all went into the bathroom to smoke pot. I considered leaving to the car to get my phone charger but was like, if I do they'll probably think I bailed again. and then I could literally hear them talking about me, and S saying, "I bet when we come out, she'll be gone again" and I just... felt so angry at him but also like such an asshole bc I'm sick and having a miserable time when I WANT to have fun but instead I'm being a bitch and I can't help it. And they want to drink and get high and I don't like either of those things even when I'm NOT sick as a dog and barely able to breathe, so fuck no I'm not doing that, thanks.

I think after that we finally went to our hotel bc it was check in time (3pm). My friend had reserved the room but they wouldn't let her pay because her card didn't have her name on it, and the others only had cash, so I stepped up to put the room on my card. It made me feel better about being there at all, because they literally wouldn't have had a place to stay (this was a fairly long drive away from Boston).

We went out to eat and this is where S shows once again how much of an asshole he is...

I'm not sure WHERE this came from, but out of the blue while we're sitting in this restaurant, S says something like, "If a drunk girl tells me to fuck her and then she passes out, I can tap that without getting in trouble."

Yeah... I'm positive I didn't remember that right but the statement he made didn't make ANY sense.

All four of us (D, H, T, and myself) were like, ???? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. That is RAPE.

D and I start trying to explain, for one, UNCONSCIOUS = no, and two, in this hypothetical she gave her "consent" while drunk, and you cannot legally consent while drunk!

"But what if we're both drunk"

We're trying to explain that technically neither could consent, it's a risky situation, and then he goes,

"So what if my ex texts me and says 'come tie me up and have your way with me'."

D is like, "I can't even begin with how many variables there are in that situation."

Me: "It depends. Is she sober? Is it actually HER texting? Is she going to say no when you get there?"

S: "She'd have to prove that it wasn't her texting..."

We kept talking about this and trying to explain like, the limits of consent and finally T is like, "Why are we talking about this?"

D and I: "Because it came up and it's worth talking about! There are a lot of people who don't understand."

But anyway, we pretty quickly dropped the topic, but I cannot get over the fact that S randomly said that he'd fuck an unconscious woman. And I am expected to share a bed with him at the hotel.

I was super super pissed with S at this point like, this actual FUCKBOY, first he thinks that equal rights means his rights get taken away, now he's stated that he'd rape somebody?? like?? get the fuck away from me, permanently.

We had to drive D back to his room and it's dark outside now.

I haven't yet mentioned, but as beautiful as Boston is to walk around, the roads are crazy and driving is a fucking nightmare. There are some normal streets but almost everything connects directly onto a highway (at least where we were... and I'm not sure if highway is the right word bc fuck if I know anything about driving but they are SCARY multi-lane roads). The highways are like 4, 3, or 5 fucking lanes of people driving like there's no speed limit, cars constantly switching lanes and assholes flying past us.

All of that is scary enough, but worse is that:

- T is the one driving, because H is too scared to drive in Boston traffic. - T does not have a license. - The car's left blinker doesn't fucking work, so switching lanes to the left is a deathwish. - Did I mention the drinking and getting high? Yeah. - Also, the chainsmoking resumes and I am in fucking misery.

We manage to drop D off, and they had mentioned the fact that they HAVE the lightbulb for the back blinker, but didn't take the time to install is before leaving. D had mentioned that he could probably do it. So I'm like, hey, how about we do that?  D takes a look and realizes that it'd take some time to take apart, but he'd be able to do it with some assistance. T is like, nah it'd take some work, and I'm disheartened (bc I want this car to be as legal as fucking possible bc if we get pulled over I'm 100% sure that I'm fucked on getting home, best case scenario. Worst case scenario, I might charged with something just for being with these guys. Idk if that's even rational but honestly.) but they agree to just deal with it later.

We get back to the hotel and H and I decide to go swimming in the pool. It's honestly one of the highlights of the trip for me bc I rarely get to go swimming, so we enjoyed ourselves for a while, talking about how T and S were kind of annoying both of us. The guys were getting alcohol and stuff while we swam, and they drank some and then joined us. It was kind of funny bc H had worn her bikini bottom but also swim trunks over them, and S didn't have anything to wear to swim in, so she gave him her trunks. They fit him so tightly lmaoo. The guys were splashing around, goofing off, and at this point I'm less angry and more just like, letting it all go, I know I don't like S whatsoever, he's fucking dumb, but I don't want to be hostile and I'm trying as much as possible to not be a huge bitch and a wet blanket, so it's whatever. We joked around a lot, and had fun, and finally got out of the pool when it was closing. But it was really awkward bc they had to go to change and T had gone into the women's room with H so I had to stand outside and wait to change my clothes... and I could hear H yelling at him about... peeing wildly everywhere? Oh my god. I don't even wanna know. It was one of those moments where I was like, there is nudity beyond both of these doors and I am probably forever going to be not comfortable with that. It's kind of a bizarre and shitty realization that everyone else is on a different plane of existence. Like, I'm the weird one because I don't wanna see dicks flopping around. Huh.

Rinsed off, changed clothes, went back upstairs, blow dried my hair and flopped onto the bed. At this point, I'm physically worn down but.... not.... tired. So I'm not sure if I'm going to fall asleep. But they want to run around, and ask about the strip club plans, and my friend is like, "Dae said she didn't want to go" (which is true, I told her no because I'm very sick and felt uncomfortable about the whole idea anyway) but the guys are like, "You're killing us, we're not going?" and she's like, "Are we?" and I'm so sick and tired at this point that I'm like, "Actually yeah let's go" and get up and get dressed again, ready to impress, ready to jump in and see some ladies and titties and see how uncomfortable I feel about it all.

We get into the car, and all of us have been trying to see what the nearest strip club is... there really isn't one. What the nearest bar is... eh. We're trying to find something really close by, because the guys have been drinking and T has no LICENSE and the car blinker is broken so instead I'm like, "Where's the nearest Walmart?"  over 100 miles away jfc. "Where's the nearest target?" Less than a mile away. Awesome! My mood is UP bc we're going to Target, now this is my idea of a good time.

Yeah, no. My phone is a piece of SHIT and they refuse to even look at it, but their phone won't update fast enough while we're driving and we CAN'T FUCKING MERGE LEFT because we'll be killed in this traffic, so we have to go to the right. We see other stores and want to go to them, but the problem is, when we turned right we already missed that opportunity. And this road merges directly into a fucking interstate. And we cannot turn off of it. And now we are going 80 mph in the wrong direction and have to take the next off ramp.

For the next fucking 30 minutes at least, we are desperately trying to get our fucking phones to tell us where we are and where we need to go. Everything loops in circles, because of the highways and off ramps. We keep missing fucking turns and ending up in even more of a tangled mess. Our phones did not charge up much at the hotel and are on the verge of dying once again and we cannot fucking turn LEFT. T and S are getting frustrated, I'm convinced I'm going to fucking die, and H is having an anxiety attack, texting me like, "This is my car and if we crash everyone is going to get hurt and it's my fault" and I'm like... can we please fucking stop somewhere and just fix the fucking light.

By the time we finally make it back to where we belong, we just go straight to the hotel. So fucking much for strip clubs, or bars, or even Target. Fuck that noise. We aren't driving anywhere after all, we all agree on that and we're all really frustrated and stressed.

I ask again like, even if it takes a while we should really fix the light bc driving down to Mass we had the same problem, and we're going to keep having that problem until we fix it, but the guys are like, we'd have to take apart the whole back end, if it were a quick fix we'd have done it already. In the daylight it'll be okay, it's really just at night that's the worst because all they see is our tail lights, and a lack of left blinker means someone might get killed. So I'm like, alright and let it go.

We get snacks from the vending machines, and crash in the hotel room again. Despite all the hyped talk from the guys about drinking and drugs (seriously, S was like, "Let's go  get some ecstacy or heroin" before we left on that horrific ride, and H was like "UHHHH NO, NOT HAPPENING."  He also talked about forcing girls to choke on his dick, so if anyone was wondering if he learned anything from the Consent Discussion, the answer is, probably no. And people wonder why I have sex anxiety jfc.)

Thankfully, I crashed on one bed, and H, T, and S all crashed on the other bed... probably bc they didn't want to catch my germs tbh. I heard S saying "bacterial pneumonia" to his phone.

Sleep was... hellish. I woke up at 4am, SHAKING uncontrollably and had to turn up the heat for a while. I think I was running a fever so it didn't help me at all.. after that I had to press a cold drink against my forehead and didn't fall asleep again until 6am, and we all get up around 8:50am.

Btw, the hotel was pretty shitty... a bunch of ants were under my shoes at the indoor pool when I picked my shoes up... they were coming up from the vents because I guess I stepped in something sugary. H freaked out a bit. Then in our 3rd floor room, there was another of those ants on my pillow. Nice. The breakfast service was shitty. The only edible thing for me was the apple juice, the rest of it was awful cheap stuff. We went to burger king instead, which H had wanted for breakfast anyway. My voice was nearly gone at this point and I had to type my order onto my phone and let the cashier read it. The burger king was also super shitty lmao it was under construction but the bathrooms were just, awful and unkept. We realized we had to head straight home now in order to get back in time for everything H and I had to do, so we got straight onto the highway.

Once again... terrifying traffic, and the difficulty of merging to the left. Every time T had to merge, I had to close my eyes and post facebook statuses like "pray for me because I am going to die." At this point, T and S are like, "We should've just fixed the light before we left" and I am like, internally fucking screaming BECAUSE I SAID THAT ALREADY OH MY GOD. Also, CUE THE CHAINSMOKING AGAIN.

I got dropped off directly at my work a couple hours before my shift, and then worked my closing shift.

Remember, at this point I've had very little sleep and fevers every night since Friday... my voice is just a whisper, I spent hours walking around Boston, hours awake at night, I should be exhausted but I am wide the fuck awake. By the time I finally got home, I still didn't even fall asleep until almost 2am.

So yeah.... I'm not even sure how to summarize my trip to Boston and how it made me feel. Everything was really random and accidental. It took a long time for it to occur to me, holy shit I am in BOSTON, historic Boston, and should be taking pictures and seeing the Freedom Trail and actually interesting stuff like that, but it didn't seem to occur to any of us until the day we had to go back and H wwas like, "I wish I'd taken more pictures."  I wish I had too, especially of the march, but since I ws sick before I even left, I actually wasn't even aware that the marches were going on, I was completely out of the loop. It's something I was super excited about and would've never been able to go to normally, but somehow I accidentally happened to end up there at the right time.

In all it was, frustrating, miserable, beautiful, surprisingly nice and diverse, historic, terrifying, stupid, and extremely lucky. Lucky that we managed to arrange the trip on short notice, lucky that we didn't die on the way down, lucky that I happened to be there for a huge protest event that I was able to partake in at least a tiny bit, lucky that I didn't have to go to the strip club after all, lucky that we didn't get arrested, lucky that we made it back safely, lucky that I didn't chop S's dick off and shove it down his throat. I think I might've used up all of the luck for the next ten years, and I'm a bit frightened.

For those keeping score at home, 

Reasons Why Dae Needs to be Grounded:

- going on a trip with sketchy drug dealing wannabe-gangsters who are racist, transphobic, homophobic, misogynistic dumbasses - going on this trip while extremely sick - ditching my friend and the group while extremely sick, in a strange city, with all of our cell phones dying, and ignoring their calls - swimming in the pool while extremely sick (I broke the pool rules whoops) - getting BACK into the defective car with a driver who had been drinking and has no license, at night - going to work directly after this trip, while extremely sick - still trying to talk while my voice is 99% gone - not cleaning my room (it’s so messy help) - staying up late at night to type this instead of sleeping

and now my throat feels much better but I’ve 100% lost my voice and can only communicate through strained whispers and interpretive dance.

but I have tomorrow off and I plan to finally.... rest. 

assuming that I can even fall asleep.

#I'm sorry mobile users if you had to scroll this whole thing #long post #dae makes bad life choices #please ground me #I'm honestly thankful to be alive #bc I'm convinced I should be dead several times over

[fleurdelissaswords-blog]

Tupeck the Rapping Parrot’s ThugLife Bible Study #6: IT’S EASTER Y'ALL!!!“ (The Easter Story, Attempt #5) More in our Conversations with Talking Parrots Series.

We’re watching The Jesus Strand: A Search for DNA this Easter Sunday on the History Channel. We look forward to all of the awesome religious shows and docs on Easter weekend each year. Studying history and theology and science is a passion of mine I share with my feathered and furry family members as well… and it always makes for some funny content as I attempt to get my ThugBirdie Tupeck to get some religion. The talks after leave everyone hysterical.

This show aims at finding the true DNA of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and that of his family to help science and religion come together to finally bury the friggin hatchet. Can’t we all just get along? I happen to be a fan of both. It is my feeling that if God created the universe and all of this, and us, the more we understand it, the more we understand how perfect God’s plan really was. We are just observing the principals of this perfect world and explaining it in scientific terms that humans understand better.

Many of our readers and fans know that living with a parrot who wants to be the world’s first rapping parrot, and being talked into managing his career by the bird himself, is a challenge. Birds are typically NOT an easy type of pet! There exotic animals with exotic diets. Food items are often the stuffs of our conversations with the birds to help them learn to identify and request different food types. In fact Tupeck’s first original song was about how he had blueberries and Greek yogurt for breakfast. Lol. So we included the original artwork for the show, as well as a cute drawing of foods from Jesus’ time we found online here: http://gssroom9.blogspot.com/2014/03/re-jesus-strand.html… we get really into these birdie Bible lessons, but our birds are super smart! So join us on this Easter Birdie Bible Lesson! They’ve already requested the next Bible lesson being about the Last Supper. Lol. 😂🙈

I’m the mom and the manager of a parrot who wants to rap. Lol. And for years Tupeck parrot begged and I kindly said "hells nah! Not happening… you’re a bird!” But years later I realized he was really talented and loved music and hip hop, and that it was therapeutic for him in a way… and I’ve also just given up trying to get the ThugLife out of him. It’s just who he is. And in this family we accept each other for who they are. But my influence over the years has helped make his musical tastes a lot more diverse and he’s calmed down a lot. Yay patience! Lol. And Praise the Lord! 😜✊🏽🙏🏽 #LoveWins

Many of you also know that every Easter we have this weird family tradition of trying to give Tupeck a bible lesson and see if he will finally accept Jesus. In previous years he decided that since “Tupac was coming back too” and cuz he can rap on top of that, that Tupac held the top position in Tupeck’s heart when it comes to any religion. Lol. It was his very first Easter Sunday lesson after we got him that he said that. That’s how smart he is. He had already drawn a comparison between what Jesus did and Tupac’s life. Meaning he understood abstract human concepts more than the average bird! His vocabulary is also quite large… a lot of it we cannot repeat here and he knows he is not allowed to say and we don’t encourage it. But that’s how hard birds are. Imagine trying to have a family dinner while a bird raps and discusses his biz plan for becoming the next rap superstar?… and your mother is there. Get the idea?!

So for our yearly Easter Birdie Bible Study Lesson, I decide to taker a more scientific genetic route to explaining this to Tupeck. Maybe that would help? One can hope… so this ThugLife Bible Study Lesson is for Easter 2017! And our new attempt at getting Tupeck born again. We often use analogies that may not make sense to the common Christian, to explain things in terms a thug celebirdie can comprehend. It may be unorthodox, but we hope it’s slowly working. He didn’t like the audio bible we tried a while back. So yay for being innovative to get thru to inner city birds. Lol. We hope it doesn’t offend anyone… cuz tbh that’s Tupeck’s job as much as we try to keep him from doing so. He is bound to offend someone’s sensibilities… we were fans of anything ThugLife before this bird came into our lives either. Everything I know about hip hop I’ve learned from my parrot. Lol.

Let our ThugLife Bible Study Lesson begin…

Me: “Do you know why this religious documentary show is groundbreaking?”

Tupeck: “Absolutely!” 😚 (but I can tell he has no clue)

Me: “I’ll give u a hint: it’s possibly groundbreaking for television, history, and religious studies!” E Tupeck: “And Tupac!” 😜✊🏽

We all laugh. 🙈

Me: ok kiddo, and Tupac… of course. Now, on this show, they’re trying to find Jesus’ family of priest kings from the Davidic line using any dna they can track down to test.“

Tupeck: weird confused look. 😳

Me: "yeah part of the big deal about Jesus was he was from the line of David, therefore a priest king… this was back when they preached while they also kinged and stuff!” (The Messiah concept)

Tupeck: “YEAH?!” (Now he gets it! We’re taking about a VERY important person! We now have his attention… he is really only interested in celebrities.)

Me: “Yes… it was a different time.”

Tupeck: “Tupac was a priest king… and a talker!”

Me: 😂😂😂🙈"Yes Tupac was a good talker. Preachers were very good at talking! It’s what they did.“

Me: "If Jesus was alive today, what do you think he would say?”

Tupeck: “he’d be talking!” 🤗(thank you Captain Obvious! Lol)

Me: “yes cuz preaching is very similar to talking, except, they talk about God… and paying more attention to your bible studies!”

Tupeck: *beatboxes* cuz all Bible studies require beatboxing. And all good talkers in his opinion, should know how to beatbox. 🙈 Crap, is this lesson going downhill already? Ok time for a new strategy!

Me: “well if you were to make a song for Jesus, what would it be? Let’s make a song for Jesus… cuz that’s totally a thang.”

Tupeck: *thinks for a min, then lays down a few beats for mood* “Ooooh, baby I looove yoooou!!!” 😚

Me: 😂👍🏽 “I consider this a success, even though it’s basically your epic love ballad you intend to record on your first demo…”

We all sing a few more repeats of this one line… cuz the song so far only has or needs this one important line. Tupeck is proud. I’m just proud he finally made a Christian-ish song of some sort after 6 years of trying to get some religion into him.

Me: “have I told you about the story of the loaves and fishes?… you like bread!”

Tupeck: listens intently… cuz indeed he does love bread. Lol “Yeah yeah!” (Said in a Beavis and Butthead voice)

Me: “now back in Jesus time, there were crowds at his shows too… they called them ‘the multitudes!’”

Tupeck: “ok.” 😯

Me: “I know you think only rap stars have crowds, but Jesus drew big crowds too! Once thousands had come to hear him talk, like people went to hear Tupac talk, and at the end they realized the multitudes were hungry, but they didn’t have enough food to feed everyone who’d traveled a long way to hear Jesus talk.”

Tupeck: 😱 (this is indeed a problem)

Me: “here, watch this scene from YouTube about this… Jesus did something really cool to make sure everyone had food!”

Link: https://youtu.be/GolUi2yu7nA (I show Tupeck this clip cuz if it’s on YouTube, in his head, it’s true! He’s the biggest YouTube addict. Lol. We had to set some limits and Parrontal Controls cuz it became a problem.)

Me: “that day Jesus did something REALLY COOL. Cuz he believed in taking care of his peeps. He only had a couple loaves of bread and few fishies. But Jesus was the Fisher King, so he gave thanks to God and blessed the fishies and 💥 BAM! 💥 Food for everyone appeared and everyone was happy!”

Tupeck: “woah!”

Me to myself: “this is actually finally working… he seems interested in learning about Jesus! HUZZAH!!! It’s a miracle!!!” *gives thanks to God* 🙏🏽

Me: “remember when Pac hosted all of those picnics in the park for the gang kids in California, and brought in Snoop Dog and other artists, and told the kids they’d keep hosting those events as long as people all got along… and the ThugLife code was born from those events trying to bring inner city kids together without hurting each other.”

Tupeck: 😱 *Gasp!* (he has found another thing in common between Jesus and Tupac… which of course was my brilliant idea! *high fives self!*

Me: “kinda is a lot like how Jesus talked to the crowds and fed them afterward cuz he cared about his people and mankind. Tupac did too!”

Tupeck: *beatboxes more excited about this idea*

Me: “what if Tupac could have been one of these living decendants of Jesus like this show is trying to solve? They seem to have a lot in common. Tupac did a lot of the same stuff Jesus did to try to teach and help people. It was just a different time and different problems in the world. Cuz they both wanted to help the world.”

Lil Homie, Tupeck’s number one crew member and fellow flock member who isn’t famous and doesn’t wanna be, has been listening intently and chimes in here to tell us he likes this idea of people (and creatures) taking care of each other. Awe. 🤗 He may have some big questions about how Tupeck has been running his crew of homies (aka: flock) after this lesson. Lol. 🙈

Me: “on this show, they’re trying to track down blood and bones that may have belonged to Jesus to do sciencing tests to see who the rest of his family is and find out more about Jesus… pretty cool huh! Cuz there’s a lot we don’t know about this guy yet he is the biggest most important historical figure of all time according to many humans. He was either the Messiah, or a gifted Prophet, or a loving teacher of men.”

Me: “Tupeck?… 😳… Tupeck?!… hey, why are u preening during our Easter Sunday bible lesson? It’s time to listen and learn.”

Tupeck: “meh” 😒

Me: “welp, I had him for a moment!… it’s better than Easter sermons of years past… YAY PROGRESS!!!… and for once no talk of Llamas in God’s plan!” 😜✊🏽 (cuz we all know Llamas were either a glitch in evolution or God’s biggest mistake, depending on which you subscribe to. Llamas are an obsolete model. But this is the source of ongoing arguments between myself and a Tupeck parrot. *See our series on this blog: “The Ongoing Llama Feud between FleurDeLissa and Tupeck Parrot.”)

And Look for Tupeck the Rapping Parrot’s Gospel-Inspired song soon on a digital media site near you! 🎼🎤🎧 (Yeah, Tupeck made me say that plug.)

Overall we liked the show. I really enjoyed learning about the reliquaries they were using and their history. They discussed the link between John the Baptist as a cousin of Jesus too, which I really loved and have always thought myself. Just ask Da Vinci! He knew.

They showed a lot of historical sites from the Bible stories too, like the place where Jesus fed the multitudes as told in this story, and where he walked on water… tbh i woulda done the SAME thing the guy did on the show upon seeing it! I’d love to go to those holy sites someday myself.

So be sure to check it out on History Channel Easter Sunday (& in sure they’ll rerun it and have dvd’s of the show to add to my growing collection of religious historical documentaries!)

It was really good and I like how they traveled to different locations of where real reliquaries have been kept to show more context for the story that is sure to continue to evolve, as scientists and universities do more DNA tests on remains of people from biblical times found. I like how they retold some of the stories and how excited one of the guys was to be seeing these historic places. At times his buddy was just like 😳?? And he was all 😱😜✊🏽!!! Lol. although tbh my personal feeling was that Jesus walked on water cuz he was smart and new sharks and beasties live in the oceans. So when Tupeck asked about that, I calmly referred to the atrocious campy horror about bullsharks killing peeps at the beach playing on Scy-Fy at the same time. It seemed to work for now, but maybe our next ThugLife Bible Study will be about that biblical story.

Submit your ideas of which bible stories we should teach Tupeck the Rapping Parrot next, below in the comments or on my Twitter! And be sure to check out my archives for the rest in the Tupeck's ThugLife Bible Study series to find out what Tupeck the Rapping Parrot thinks about Judas, and other notable biblical figures! I promise they're all funny and will make you laugh. And check out my other TV show and movie reviews and recaps! Don't forget to follow me here as well to stay updated on what Tupeck parrot is doing next... and yes the Latin-inspired collaboration album for charity with the llama factions is still in the works! Whodathunk this bird could actually find a famous llama on twitter to connect with... then he drafted the ThugAnimal code when he heard there was a war going on between the Llama and Troll factions... whom he also found on twitter... cuz Twitter. 🙈 And Tupeck sends all of his loyal fans a big huge air kisses and a "Keep Your Beak Up!"... cuz #ThatsMyBoy. Lol.

For more info on this documentary, click here: http://www.history.com/specials/the-jesus-strand-a-search-for-dna

© 2017, Fleurdelissaswords, Tupeck the Rapping Parrot (yeah he demanded rights to all content about him in our “contract negotiations.” 😂🙈 Lol) Sharing is Caring so pass this blog on! Share it with your animal loving and Jesus loving friends!… and yeah even those annoying ThugLife friends. Lol. 😉😘❤

-Keep Your Beak Up!- is copyrighted and trademarked… cuz “dang contract negotiations with parrots!” 😱

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