#and we chatted for a while which was super nice :))) idk if it's going to last but now we just WAIT and OBSERVE

[tieflingbi]

trying hard lately to get good grades in socialising which, for once, is actually both normal to want and possible to achieve it seems

#ppl at my internship place are super lovely and i've had some very pleasant chats since i started last thursday #one even gave me her phone and discord and was like 'here #if you ever need to talk :)' and that was so sweet of her tbh!!! #the kids are rlly sweet too and they've talked a lot more with me today which was also nice. and yes i count that as socialising lol #and just now for once i got over my anxiety and offered to help some ppl out in the ffxiv fc i joined a lil while ago #we did some dungeons and a trial and it was super fun!! #idk. i will ride this high for as long as i can because who knows when the seasonal depression is gonna drag me back into a hole #where i don't wanna see or hear anyone #:') #anyways. i should go to bed lmao

[rainbluealoekitten]

ok mb for worrying everyone but i actually had a BEAUTIFUL afternoon and am feeling pretty happy rn :D rambling about it in the tags ofc <3

#had mac and cheese for lunch so very yum #then slight boy update where he fucking BLUSHED at me today and i've been working very hard to get over him #but was like!!! wtf!!!! what do i do with this!!! and texted one of my best friends #and she told me to fucking ASK HIM why he's been acting shitty as of late #so we formulated a text then he was very very apologetic and explained how he's been feeling as of late #and we chatted for a while which was super nice :))) idk if it's going to last but now we just WAIT and OBSERVE #to see if it's worth it #and then i did a toooooon of work out in my garden really just vibing #like way more research than was needed (did not work smarter over harder) but atm idm bc #it made me feel like i was doing well and honestly i was really just vibing #also put my bird and fish to decompose. still don't know what is up with that lmao #so got to put my hands in the dirt!!!!! fucking love that #now gonna watch outlander i think #or i should check the bio video's transcript quickly before maybe #either way will be fine :))) #i'm glad #and i'm also super proud of myself bc i've made sooo much progress mentally #like yeah everything felt like shit this morning and i was indulging myself there but i have also been owrking so so hard #with walking around angrily repeating that i am grateful to be alive #and pointing out all the shit in the world that i love #and really speaking to myself with love in my heart the way i needed to be spoken to as a child #so yeah :) even if i start to feel shitty again #nobody can take away the moments of happiness from me #there will always be more rays of sun #or more rainstorms bc i prefer those a million times more and guess what!!! rainy season rn :) #peace and love on the planet earth #blue screams into the void

[mogoce-nocoj]

extensive gig reports, Berlin 12.03.24 + Leipzig 13.03.24 💕

they got kinda long oops

Berlin

queue curse: missed jure walking by and nace and kris laughing at the queue for turning up the volume of cha cha cha because of looking for a public toilet and getting food respectively 🫠

jc stewart also walked by like four? times and people only started noticing around the third time or something, sorry jc stewart

bojan said that they love playing in smaller venues during soundcheck which made me laugh because of the downgraded berlin venue

kris ngvot but he looked so unenthusiastic about it and only did it after talking to bojan who I guess talked him into it? sorry kris, you were amazing though

bojan loved the shirt @zadig-fate made for him ❤️ he's such a nerd for being obsessed with eurotrip and was so excited to be like “this is a eurotrip quote!!!” lmao

bojan got a harmonica, said he couldn't play it, and then still played the wedding march on it because of course he was able to do that

bojan's slut leather(?) shirt 🫠 I hope damon suggested he should wear it because you could see his chest very well and he was moving so much and jfc

ended up on kris's side and since this was a no barrier stage he and his pants and ass were so close to me that I felt awkward directly looking at him 😭

jan just doing jan stuff. annoying jure and hitting his cymbals. casually sitting down onto the piano chair during umazane misli while continuing to play the guitar. this guy I swear

bojan got so emotional during EW that it actually made me emotional too. and the panic attack cheer 😂

the fact that the song can stay “schlager” for us german audiences and bojan yapping something about imagining that we're at an old people birthday party or something idk

the guys were very confused about the berlin flag 😂 jan was kinda holding it, very unsure, then went over to kiki, then went over to nace and they were just kind of. looking at the flag and then jan turned to kris and mouthed "berlin??" and kris signalled him a yes which was very funny

just. the vibes of the crowd. everyone was so respectful and we genuinely had an amazing energy. berlin crowd I love you so much

vita said they got the stage measurements beforehand and knew that racik's art wouldn't fit on the stage lmao. she's also super sweet and so easy to talk to. love u vita thanks for all the photos (selfishly glad she's pausing her studies for this)

hugged teya before she had to leave and didn't get to talk to nace and kris but managed to catch jan afterwards and had him sign in my gig book and it was? such a nice crowd? everyone was waiting and chatting for a bit and then when we were all finished jan was hovering there a bit awkwardly before saying bye and leaving. it was amazing and so chill (again. berlin crowd I love you.)

Leipzig

jure was walking by and we waved and a person turned around to see who we were waving at and let out a very loud “oh my god” after spotting jure. absolutely hilarious, we all burst out laughing

while the queue was being organised, kris, jc stewart with jure, vita, and nace behind them were walking down the street next to the queue and nace waved at us but no one paid attention (busy with the queue) so he kinda. stopped lmao

literally like ten minutes after that, jan seemed to try catching up to them but didn't know where to go so he just stared very intently at his phone and stopped in the middle of the street, turned left and walked right by us, then apparently went to far and had to turn back. top ten janči moments

kris walked into the soundcheck with a mug in his hand and left pretty quickly again after soundcheck was finished, he's just so funny to me

bojan said that it was a nice change that the EA crowd were mostly germans which like. ok.

the boys came down to us to talk and take pics with us after the soundcheck??? so nice of them but it confused the hell out of me (I wasn't prepared and was very intimidated by suddenly having a bojan directly in front of me)

a friend I was with asked bojan about the jo travel curse and munich because it's been horrible at least for us living in germany (snow chaos for munich, snow chaos when trying to travel to esns in january, train strike on the day of the berlin gig) and he just kinda forgot about munich until he was like “oh yeah right. it was still an amazing gig though.” 🥺

okay so. now we come to what was an absolutely insane concert

first we saw the eyeliner jure pic and went “oh my god??” and then he actually came on stage like that and we lost it. and then bojan came on stage with that lace shirt and we lost it again. not kidding when I say my favourite insane moment was me turning around to grip @itskrejsaitsparty's hand as I was trying to comprehend what I was seeing. Just. jfc.

bojan asked who had never been to a JO gig before and from what I could see it was around 50%? so there were a lot of new people which is probably also one reason why the energy was insane like that

bojan couldn't stop holding his belt and thrusting his hips, what the fuck 🫠

since I was in the middle I was also privvy to many cute jance looks and moments, they really are just like that on stage

the nace solo because someone requested a bass solo?? and how nace started and everyone joined and then bojan's “let's go nace” just. what even was happening at that point

everything surrounding metulji. first bojan giving jan that pic to “get him in the mood.” jan pretending to kiss it. it falling down making us all giggle and bojan already being on the brink of losing it and then losing it completely and jan stopping to just play different chords on the piano while bojan was trying to get it together. we really broke him 😭 and he was trying so hard to get back into the sad metulji mood and then he apologised for it afterwards like “i'm sorry this was so unprofessional of me” like dude. the was the best moment I've ever seen on stage

bojan was so keyed up that when kiki came to him to switch guitars he just bounced around him and started saying stuff to kiki and leaned his face towards him (I wouldn't be surprised if he expected another cheek kiss but shhhhh)

bojan AGAIN because he was jumping over the barrier and back on stage right next to me after umazane misli and I was like. what do I do. Do I, like, help him??? Can he do it by himself??? what if he topples over and I'm right next to him. Gah. In the end I just pressed myself back into @braveheart1418, stared at the back of bojan's lace shirt in slight horror and let Kiki do his thing 🫠 (I need a bojči break now I'm too anxious for any of this)

the gig went by so quickly because of all the stuff that happened that it was such a surprise when they said it was nearly over

I literally sank onto the floor after the gig because I couldn't understand what had just happened. so many memorable moments. I'm glad everyone just went down onto the floor with me, love you ❤️

everyone (except kris) came out to talk and take pics afterwards but bojan left quickly because of his health. and also, you know. damon baker. what a sweetheart. with all the stuff that happened, being able to talk to him about his art was such a lovely moment and I still can't believe that he was there

In the most funniest turn of events I managed to have everyone including damon baker sign in my gig book except for kris which is hilarious to me and so very fitting for him

I'm still trying process everything that happened but thank you so much to everyone I met and talked to and who made stuff for me, in particular @zadig-fate, @izpira-se-zlato, @braveheart1418, @esskuesli, @occhi-verdi-come-il-mare and @itskrejsaitsparty 💕💕💕

#joker out #gig report #I'm still dead this took me around two hours or sth #personal #Berlin gig #Leipzig gig

[rarepears]

This is the Shen Jiu marries an Arabian prince and gets super into astronomy anon, but I just thought of like.

So, the Arabs do a lot as merchants. Which would probably put them mainly in contact with Shang Qinghua.

It makes me wonder if transmigrator!SQH ended up negotiating a contract with the besotted prince and went "I CAN GET MY POOR LITTLE MEOW MEOW OUT OF HERE AND STOP FEELING LIKE SHIT OVER HOW HIS STORY ENDED!!!!" and proceeded to immediately do everything in his power to make that marriage happen because while he has zero confidence that dropping Shen Jiu in the lap of someone who adores him unconditionally will fix him now or ever, it definitely can't make things worse, and will in fact go a very long way to preventing things getting worse.

Also makes me think of SQH eventually being like the only one Shen Jiu kept in contact with, because yes he's annoying and pitiful, but when he was pulling the "marry Shen Jiu to besotted foreign royalty" bandwagon, it wasn't because he wanted to get rid of him, it was because Shang Qinghua wanted Shen Jiu to be around people who liked and would appreciate him, rather than stuck rotting in Harem Drama Hell. Maybe initially they only kept in contact for trade agreement reasons (which was ostensibly the purpose of this marriage) but SQH always made sure to a) bring some of Shen Jiu's favorites from home, b) genuinely make sure he was okay, and c) check and make sure that his husband was still besotted. Maybe Shen Jiu discovered SQH had a "smuggle my scariest shixiong to......... Eh I'll figure it out" plan in the event of Shen Jiu being mistreated? Or one of his least favorite courtiers says something snide and before Shen Jiu can get a word out Shang Qinghua says something that makes the man cry with fear. Idk how they get to the point of "spiritually you are siblings" but I am having visions of Shang Qinghua and Shen Jiu drinking anachronistic coffee (bc this is Airplane's novel ofc it is) over tanghulu and red bean paste buns and not mentioning the peak lords even once. Just chatting about trade and SJ running the kingdom with his husband and fabric and cool knives. Possibly with a side of Shen Yuan being a prince (adoption? Magic? Who knows) and SQH being his favorite uncle.

.......I wonder if SQH warns Shen Jiu that Binghe is coming/keeps him updated on demonic happenings.

.................wasn't OG Rat Qinghua supposed to get murdered by MBJ for betraying him.

Oh no.

NOW I am going down rabbit holes of Moshang typical violent misunderstandings and lack of communication, except this time SQH is the adoptive younger brother of an Arabian queen, and oh God the court intrigue and politics and drama you could pull with that. Esp if Shen Jiu eventually just. Yoinks SQH. "If this ice king wants to keep you around then he's welcome to start fucking acting like it."

And ofc Shen Jiu's husband won't say shit besides "oh we gotta welcome my brother in law appropriately! Make sure he has clothes and nice rooms etc etc" because he's also familiar with the little merchant/logistics lord who is absolutely wide eyed fluffy hamster levels of ADORABLE (bc I firmly believe SQH is the cutest little thing second to nothing but White Lotus Binghe, and also oblivious to this) and correctly thinks that having SQH's spymaster/logistics capabilities working for them is a good thing.

So SQH gets a break, gets to wear some super pretty clothes, gets to never have to worry about freezing to death, or getting injured accidentally or otherwise, etc etc. The courtiers, especially the scientifically inclined ones, adore him, partly bc he's cheating using modern knowledge. But he tells such wonderful stories! And he runs things so efficiently!

The Queen is sharp and brilliant, beautiful and vicious when provoked. His younger brother is just as intelligent, but is absolutely adorable, skilled at organization and he tells the *best* stories.

(please I just want Shang Qinghua to get so much of the appreciation he craves that he doesn't even know what to do with it)

MBJ and LBH are both sulking in the demon realm bc Shen Jiu is forcing them to think about what they've done and use their words.

......ok now I want "disillusioned but naive" Binghe and "learned but foolish" Shen Yuan to get a romance. They both learn that life and the world isn't what they thought it was together. Shen Jiu is furious but Binghe has taken every bit of his running a kingdom advice to heart and is truly genuinely doing everything right. Finding out the beast refuses to so much as hold hands with A-Yuan until Shen Jiu has approved of him would, once upon a time, have caused him to double down on disapproval. Now- with his doting husband who looks thoughtfully at the pair and says, with the look on his face that means he's thinking of their own relationship, "maybe we should give him the chance to disappoint us first. Something tells me he's not going to,"- Shen Jiu sighs heavily and sets about making a true good faith attempt to finding out if Binghe and a-Yuan are suited to each other.

(the main reason he does so is because his a-Yuan loves monsters, and Binghe will be able to take him to see as many as he wants while still being single mindedly focused on keeping him safe.)

YES YES YES!

EVERYTHING IS A BIG FUCKING RED YES!

SOMEONE MAKE THIS INTO A 100K FIC BECAUSE THIS IS PERFECTION!

[More in #Shen Jiu is forced into an arranged marriage to an Arabian Prince AU]

#shang qinghua #shen yuan #svsss #svsss ideas #svsss au #the scum villain's self saving system #mxtx #shen qingqiu #shen jiu #yue qingyuan #luo binghe #Shen Jiu is forced into an arranged marriage to an Arabian Prince AU

[fuck-customers]

Holy shit, today was wild.

So after our previous general manager left, O came in as a temporary replacement. I’m not sure if he’s staying on as permanent at this point or what; idk if anyone knows. For some reason, not all of his managerial privileges (idk if that’s the right word) are working in the system. So like he can’t make schedules and whatever other stuff it is that managers do (I’m just a cashier I have no clue). S, the highest up assistant manager (idk if that’s actually a thing but there’s always been one at our store), decides to do O a favor and make the schedules until things get sorted out. O’s been here around two months, with S still doing the schedule and other duties that O should be doing all the while—with O being paid the general manager’s wages and S getting paid his regular wages—and like at this point idk if O just has decided he’s fine with having S do the heavy lifting or if our company is just having some wild issue that can’t get this system error with his account fixed.

Our last person who worked print on weekends left, leaving us scrambling on the weekends. Finally, we get a new guy who’s gonna take the weekends. Store opens, and the guy doesn’t show up (apparently he misremembered/misread his schedule and ended up coming in an hour or two late). So I’m at the register, assistant manager K is at shipping, and S is at print. All S and K know how to do with print is give people stuff they’ve already ordered, and I know jack and shit about print so I’m staying over in my corner. A woman comes in, and she got her order yesterday, but it’s the wrong size. She’s upset and is on a deadline and needs the right size ASAP. S says he can give her a refund and transfer her order to a nearby store, and we’re all apologizing coz yeah that’s definitely a rough situation. 

Idk exactly what happens next, but more customers start coming in and going towards print after a while, with that first woman still there. S is getting overwhelmed, so he calls O and asks for his advice. O tells him that this is all his fault, and that it’s his responsibility to make the schedules and make sure that there is someone at every station. So S just leaves the print station, tells us he’s done for the day, and goes into the manager’s office (which is basically his office at this point because—as we’ve established—he’s doing everything O should be doing), leaving K and I kinda freaking out as we try to figure out what to do. At one point K even goes into the office and starts arguing and yelling at S (K’s super chill and I’ve never heard him yell before).

Eventually S cools off. Between O and that first customer (who I heard another customer refer to as “the devil” on her way out when talking to her husband), he just couldn’t put up with all that shit. S is a very calm and nice guy. When I found out there’d been an error on my part that meant I’d been getting paid for my lunch breaks for a YEAR (this was between the previous GM leaving and O arriving), S told me that it was okay because I’m worth it and now I know what happened I can make sure it won’t happen again.

I’m good friends with another assistant manager, and she received a text from O that we think was meant for S saying that he’s a leader and needs to learn to take responsibility and own up and whatnot. To top it all off, my friend also shows me a text O sent in the manager group chat:

“To be an effective leader, you have to be a really good listener and not to what's being said, but to what's not being said. You have to be really observant. That was a big transition for me.” — Kobe Bryant

S is still working here, but any GM duties are now O’s problem. He’s done with doing him favors.

Posted by admin Rodney.

[hotpinkboots]

Hii! Lol u was wondering if you could do an Ena x reader fluff where Ena is sick or smth (if that can even happen) idk i just thought it would be super cute lol

💌 Anon

~~~~~~~~~~

~Sick!𝔼𝕟𝕒 x Reader Fluff Headcanons~

~~~~~~~~~~

TURRRRRON

Summary: While ENA is sick, the reader decides she needs some extra care and attention.

Note: This is 100% safe for people with emetophobia to read.

Warning(s): Sickness, mentions of anxiety, destructive self talk

~Enjoy~

★★★★

𝔼𝕟𝕒

★★★★

~She just tries her best and still she gets beaten down, poor thing.

~This is just another thing to deal with.

~She might even make herself MORE sick than she already was, simply by having a panic about it.

~Goes on about all the things she won't be able to do, and then going on about how she probably didn't want to do them anyway because she would've been bad at doing it any everyone would've laughed at her.

~Then claiming that she deserves to be laughed at because she's just such a failure and she hopes this sickness will finally end her miserable life.

~Being sick just completely sets her off into a spiral.

~Luckily, you're there to help her out.

~She just lays there looking completely miserable and groaning every now and then.

~Any forehead kisses make her overly emotional.

~If you try getting her to eat something, she'll complain that she should just starve.

~And if you try to get her to eat something when she REALLY doesn't want to, she'll immediately feel worse.

~It's very hard to work with her for awhile, since her emotional state is extra vulnerable while she's ill.

~She feels better eventually, though, so taking care of her becomes easier to manage.

~Always sure to thank you and give you a slightly strange sounding, but genuine compliment.

~"Ahh, thank you, my fine fellow! Your skin cells are looking purely plump today."

~Which probably means you have nice skin. At this point who knows, just go with it 🤷‍♀️

~~~~~~~~~~

Request Guidelines!

Join my Discord server! We have movie nights, art prompts, a lot of places to ramble about your hyperfixations, and a ton of cool people to meet and roleplay with!:

~~~~~~~~~~

~Love, PinkBoots

#ena #ena joel g #ena x reader #💌anon #pink's fanfic

[dumb-doll-lips]

How did the sleepover go? (Other than the dead battery of course)

Because I do try to write about times im getting fucked, using this as an appropriate to try to include what all I can remember.

It was a lot of fun. I went over to his place. After just a little bit of saying hello and stuff, went straight into getting fucked for the first time of the night. He fucked me from behind while I was bent over the bed. I was trying to not have my face on the bed a lot bc we were gonna go get food after and didn’t want to mess up my makeup, which was silly of me. He smacked me ass a lot, and pushed my face into the bed some. I sucked his cock some next, again I was like trying to not be too messy about it to not mess up my makeup too bad and even said something, but at some point he held me down on his cock some and I was gagging a bunch. I think that’s when I gave up on my makeup. He then fucked me on my back, had my feet over his shoulders some first I think, and then liked varied. Had a bit of choking and getting slapped, and some very hot dirty talk around needing him to fill me w cum, I think he like called me a slut some and saying stuff about being his to use and so on. And def got filled w his cum. I really like that it’s like pretty common for me to cum the same time the guy is fucking me does. I def think it feels way good being filled with cum.

I cleaned up some and fixed my makeup, and sipped on a martini a little while chatting a little before we went out to pick up some Greek food. Tho I got a shawarma wrap instead of like a gyro, I don’t think shawarma is Greek. Idk. It was yum. I haven’t had mediterrean or middle eastern food it far too long for how much I like it. We went back to his place to eat and put on the movie nefarious, I wouldn’t say it was a good movie, but it was a fun one to talk during and like be kinda annoyed w lol. After the movie I got changed into this cute floral mesh set, that was like somewhere between lingerie and pajamas, little shorts and top that was held together by a little hook between my tits. And then we did kinda just browse movies and watch some trailers. My top managed to come undone a couple times…which led nicely into getting fucked again.

I don’t super remember the start of things but I know I was on top early on, and then at some points more like on my side and back. More light choking and some slapping and had a pillow over my face some and I think he had my hands pinned down some, but like most hot of all, there was some breeding talk. God that like always gets me, like when it first comes up I feel like my brain always is like short circuiting, and def much more so while getting fucked so well. So off course got filled w cum again. And then went to sleep.

And then was very fun to start the day getting fucked again. I feel like I don’t remember as much from this time. I remember he started w just teasing me some and when fingering me he said something about how wet I was. And more being cummed in too.

Shortly after I’m getting ready to head home and then find out my car door was open the hole time and that my battery was dead. Def felt soo dumb about that. Neither of us had cables (he’s in the tail end of moving and they weren’t here) or really new how (but like he was like saying he’d be able to look it up and stuff, but no cables). So I had to call my dad to come rescue me. My mom also then called me and I heard that she was like mad I didn’t call her instead of my dad which was like why? Did make things more annoying. But like overall def was all a really fun time.

Wow this took like forever to write lol.

#ask #slutting #🍷

[fakevariety]

random appreciation posttt

ok so this kind is not relevant to anything currently i was just thinking about this butttt anyways there is this family my family is pretty close to and i’ve known them since i was in kindergarten and genuinely they are so amazing i have been friends with the son since kindergarten but have only been friends with the daughter for the past few years

and this family has always been there for me like one time my brother was at this sleepover camp and he got kicked out because he kept losing control and hurting people so my parents had to drive up there in the middle of the night to get him and it was such an awful experience and my parents had to find somewhere for me to go for the night so i ended up staying over with this family for the night and i went over just super upset about the whole thing and they were so nice and just made the whole evening actually really fun and i know it sounds like a small thing but my brother has been getting kicked out of camps his whole life and i finally thought it was getting better and then that happened and it genuinely meant the world to me that that family made my night so much better

and i love the kids in that family so much the son is my age and again i’ve been friends with him since i was very little and he has adhd and for a long time has been one of the ‘weird kids’ in my grade and i didn’t always treat him the best in elem school which i really regret because he has been bullied so much and i did not help but i recognize how great he is now and while he can be a bit annoying i am never letting someone talk shit about him again because he is such a great person and he’s so nice to hang out with and we don’t really talk a bunch rn but we still chat and i still really love him and trust him and he’s just amazing and i know i can always count on him

and his sister i didn’t really get close with until a few years ago when i started going to this writing camp with her since we both love writing we had always been friendly with each other and i’ve always liked her but camp made us get really close we spent all our time together and she’s so so so nice and i really trust her i’ve told her things i don’t tell most people besides my best friend and my other close friends and she knows things i haven’t told anyone else and she’s cishet but she’s genuinely an amazing ally and she listens to me talk about my obsessions and even gets into them and im really excited to go to camp with her this summer and i really love her and feel close to her and last summer during camp we ended up sharing a dorm which was SO FUN and each night we stayed up until eleven, we would just sit silently in a room together and work on our own wips and we’d help each other and i’m so excited for this summer and yeah

idk was randomly thinking abt that lmao

#don’t know if this post makes sense but

[tired-twili]

This is totally a rant post bcs I don't have a sane voice of reason in my life that I can go to for advice :) this is just me having strange "friends"

So yeah, if u didn't know I just graduated hs and yeah, teenagers can be pretty crazy. Most of these freinds I've had since young or early high school and they've been my "close freinds" the past couple of years. Ofc my fam loves them and all hence why I don't feel comfortable talking abt this to them, bcs they'll say I'm overreacting, which maybe I'm am 💀 I just can't take much more of this.

Anyways, it's not that I don't get a long with them, it's just I never rlly had much in common with them. Over the summer they all really want to go to concerts, festivals, ect ect together. I was on the fence abt these things bcs I often have anxiety attacks in crowded places, but I decided that maybe I'd go to one or something. Yeah no, for the concert they were trying to get me to go to it was abt 200 buck and I wasn't abt to pay that much just to have a miserable time. Ofc they were upset abt it but I felt embarrassed and didn't want to explain that I didn't want to go bcs of anxiety (which was on me tbh) but this is only one example but it rlly made me think that it's just not worth it to hang out with them?

I also got added to a snap group, with them in it and they were sending a bunch of vids hanging out. I wasn't rlly offended that I wasn't invited since it happens a lot, but I wasn't exactly happy to be spammed of notifs from them. Maybe this is just me but I don't rlly care to added to chats just to have to watch you all hang out without me? There was other girl in the chat that wasn't with them which makes me feel like it's less wierd, but?? Idk. It's complelty fine that they are, cus like I said, they like to go out and do stuff and it's not really my thing.

All in all I just,,,rlly don't like hanging out with them 💀 half the time it's not rlly fun and I end up going home with anxiety. I've tried to share some of my interests and it rlly hasn't gone over well haha. I introduced them to RE 8 on Halloween since they wanted to play a scary game. One of the girls said it was lame compared to the other game I showed them a differnt time (little nightmares 2 lamo) and they were on thier phones chatting ect for the rest of the night. Which I complelty understand that video games aren't for everyone and in no world do they have to enjoy it, but it still kinda hurt my feelings listening to her make fun of a game I rlly like and then them compellty do thier own thing (I had a blast tho I just played while they talked or whatever lmao). My one super nice freind tho said we should get together a differnt time and she genuinely seemd a bit interested but fjdjjsjs idk.

I do get a bit tired of being the "afterthought friend" but at this point I don't rlly care. I'm going to be heading off to college soon and I honestly don't want to keep in contact with them. They're have been a lot of other things like one of them not having respect for other people's time and stuff but that's a whole different topic.

By no extent are they toxic or anything, we just don't rlly get a long that we'll, ya know. I guess I'm just wondering if I'm being too quick abt wanting to distance myself from them?? Idk man

#twili speaketh nonsense #rant #me not making sence for 2k #dont read all this lmao #I just dont know how to human #tldr

[mbti-enemies]

Hello, favourite duo on Tumblr

ENTJ-T 3w2 here ✋🏻

It's gonna be a rant.

I'm having a crush. Big one. I think. Bad emotional mechanism, here. Anyway, I've tried to communicate with him. And it's starting to work.

I think.

Lots of thinking, if you haven't noticed.

He's smart, dresses exceptionally, most likely an IxxP from what I gathered so far. An Aquarius too. Taller than me (I'm 176 cm, so it's a plus) He rarely comes to classes which drives me mad because I want to be in one room with him and watch him, you know just... Watch, observe, besides talking.

Problem is, I malfunction whenever he comes close to me. My tongue gets tied up, I make stupid mistakes, say stupid things.

No, seriously like, how do I manage to keep my cool, be aware of his and everyone's presence and still make stupid mistakes when he's around me. It's like he comes, I get brain error 404 but still manage to somehow evade complete embarrassment, he leaves, and I become completely unusable for approximately 3 to 4 minutes. Then it's all good cause, heh *smooths hair* we can't let it faze me too much, right?

RiGhT???

Any advice? or idk just plain reassurement will be fine

Example of my idiocy:

He *asks me what I'm doing*

Me *obviously making a maquette of wooden chair* Uhm- *tries not to be sarcastic because it's too early for that sassy energy* You see- *malfunction because GOD DAMMIT WHY DO HE LOOKS SO GOOD WITH THAT WHITE HOODIE* This- You know, just working on a chair, making calculations and stuff, I'll be going to the machine soon. (to cut the pieces from the wooden stick)

He: I meant the design, actually.

Me: Oh, *OF COURSE HE DID, he knows it's a chair, HE HAS THE SAME ASSIGNMENT* yeah, well yeah... *malfunctions* It has hand rests!!!

(same energy as "LOOK, IT HAS POCKETS!")

He: *probably noticed I'm being an idiot and decided to give me space* Aha, cool. *turns to look at the teacher cause she called him*

Me: *continues to work, contemplating suicide*

After an hour I had to go and instead of "Chao" which is how you say bye in my native language (Bulgarian) I end up meeting his eyes while saying it to everyone and said "Chal, got go." it's a rough translation, but you get me, I guess.

HOW DOES IT STOP????

Duuuuude this is so cute entj glitch 1.2 ahaha you’re such a mess (affectionate)

anyways, the advice imma give you is pretty obvious but, here it is:

A) Dude it’s gonna be okay also like I’m sure he doesn’t think you’re that weird yk like people can lose their words sometimes like no hope has been lost through your funny little interactions

One day he’ll know how super smooth because

B) you can to r e l a x like he’s just a human being and like you KNOW you need to relax around the guy. if you know you’re gonna be seeing him, something that helps me is like visualising this person beforehand and visualising feeling comfortable around them, visualise having a nice long and good chat where everything flows super well and you feel happy. I think it helps because it basically gives you practice right, like once you’ve created it in ur mind you’re more likely to be able to create it in ur mind again when the situation is irl

C) ask him out. dude. you may as well. just ask if he wants to go out!! “heLLo, do you want to go to ____ with me?”. The thing is, you’re not that close friends with him, so you don’t have the “it could ruin our friendship excuse”. And, it probably won’t make things that awkward, even if he says no, as long as you okay but casual afterwards because you didn’t confess massive massive feelings or anything yk? You have absolutely nothing to lose and everything to gain so do it do it do ittttt

#Entj #ask

[centralkvetchmonolith]

Further updates on today's occurrences:

I did NOT get my knives sharpened because* I'm a lazy dipshit who can't remember what times of day people function at, yippee!**

*I don't actually feel the following about myself; I'm just venting for funsies

**I'm cool I just have at least one sleep disorder and misremembered "1pm close" as "4pm close" for some reason, which is a normal mistake to make if you're unfamiliar with farmer's markets

Oh well! There is always next week. I DID go to the Jewish event, with @creatureaccess bc I haven't gotten to do much Jewy socializing with them, and we hung out with my friend Khesed and got some nice prints and earrings!!!

In addition to the planned socialization, I ran into 4 sets of people I wasn't expecting:

Kendrick and their roommate Dawn — they Recognized Me from services a couple years ago, but we didn't quite remember each other. I mention these folks mostly so that I remember their names, as I will probably see them in the future and it takes me several meetings to remember faces and names together w/o hints.

MJ! The (lay) cantor who is considering Hebrew College! She was like "oh jeez people keep saying that and I feel like everyone will be so disappointed if I decide not to go" which! oh no! I only mentioned it bc I just broke up w a Hebrew College student who mentioned seeing her at prospy week (which is not what they call it)! I think she feels bad about being put on a pedestal, bc she also remarked that introducing her to Mercury as "the most familiar voice at Shir Tikvah" was nice bc I wasn't doing the usual thing (of intentionally or unintentionally overpraising her, which I'm sure feels like "you're so BRAVE for Singing While Trans" in addition to the regular ol' anxiogenesis of high expectations & benevolent otherization). Anyway she was happy to see me again even though she almost certainly couldn't remember my name, and I was happy to see her cuz she wasn't at the one kabbalat shabbat I've gone to so far and that was one of the several reasons I didn't quite feel Home yet at Shir Tikvah.

Quotes-and-flowers prints lady, Della, complimented me on my constellation umbrella and we commiserated about Hebrew cursive being cool but not a thing people in our circles (myself included) can read. THEN HER MOM POPPED UP, AND IS ONE OF MY TORAH CANTILLATION CLASSMATES??!?!? So Moon is the first person from the 2024 adult b'mitzvah cohort that I got the pleasure of meeting in person :^>. She's a lesbian who bonded w other lesbian parents in 1995 — I asked her if she knew [Jaz's parents], and she didn't which idk is actually cooler cuz that means there were enough partnered lesbians making children in the mid-90s that they DIDN'T all know each other!?! Anyway, Moon is cool, and I'm glad I am soooo so brave to Talk While Trans have a distinctive voice so that she recognized me ^_^.

While talking to Candida, the vendor with the super cool lemon earrings that I got Mercury for their birthday, I DID make direct eye contact with a person who used to call me their wife ("Ohhhhh and I just saw my ex" "Haha isn't that just the experience at queer markets like this"). Mercury and I sidled over, talking abt their mom while waiting for an opening where I could talk to Tova (they are very popular, even as queer Jewish non-profit workers go), and Mercury squeezed my hand and made clear through, like, bestie telekinesis and a couple words that they were there for me. I was a bit awkward on the intro bc I broke up w Tova pretty suddenly in uhhhhh I wanna say Nov 2020? and they ghosted last time I tried to catch up in early 2022, so I was like "hi!!(?) are we on the sort of terms where it's okay if I talk to you?" and they were very like "(why wouldn't it be????) Yeah!! Hello!!" and we chatted for a bit and I DID ask if they had moved which they HAVEN'T so I can STOP forlornly looking at their living room window every time I go grocery shopping and just be chill neighbors who used to try to build a life together. Their Nana said "She's special to you. Hold on to her, even though you're not together anymore." I was there when their sister got married. Their brother-in-law painted me in fake blood while he was shirtless. Their parents welcomed me into the family. I spooned with them under the big flaming tree of their family's cult. We played tabletop roleplaying games together. and figure out how much we want to be in each other's lives.

Anyway yeah so I am reminded yet again that people love me and even people who have a reason to be Rude are probably instead going to be Cordial, which I think is generalizable to people who are not me as well (you, reader). Also Jaz came up in sets 2, 3, AND 4 above, so it's pretty clear that [insert transparently obvious takeaway that nevertheless evades me at the moment].

Being in community is Good, Actually.

#personal #banana go home #kosher queers dot gay #manic pixie dream babe

[noblechaton]

so. the ml movie huh. hm (big ol post with spoilers under this cut btw)

so after almost 10 years of being on this bug and cat train they finally get a big ol expensive movie and I think it was. fine? maybe? there's a lot going on here and while I don't think I can call it good and mean it I don't think it was the worst thing ever. a 6? out of 10 feels kinda right for me. got a lot to say here fwiw so buckle in if ya wanna read it all lol

main issue I feel is obviously them trying to adapt 5 seasons, each of which was dozens of hours at least, and a near decade of storytelling into a movie that doesn't even hit two hours. no idea why - I imagine the money ran out tbh - but running through the entire thrust of the series in ~1h40m movie just. was never gonna work man. feel like there had to be better options out there, like just adapting Origins with some episodes from S1 thrown in between them getting their miraculous and Hawkmoth revealing himself or something. idk. I ain't a writer

but then also I felt despite the short runtime that it sorta dragged on at times? like it got stuck spinning wheels here and there. Marinette constantly needing her confidence boosted even after being Ladybug for so long was weird. it's so strange bc they flashed through a dozen akuma - some of which looked kinda cool btw, be neat if they made the jump to the show - and yet it felt like there'd been no progress made? like the flow of time in the movie just. didn't work. a lot of stuff just sort of happens at you and you gotta hang onto whatever ya like and hope it doesn't just vanish in the river of events

voice acting in English was like. pretty solid honestly. maybe the best performances I'd heard from that side of the dub tho I have no idea what they were thinking with the singing voice for Marinette at least. couldn't really tell if Adrien's was still Bryce (I don't think it was but it wasn't as jarring) and I know Keith sang for Gabe's songs but whoever they got for Marinette just. wasn't even close to Marinette's normal speaking voice and it's super distracting. really weird choice. no shade on the singer tho she was solid imo just like. no connection to Marinette's normal voice really took me out of it

also the songs were kind of nonsensical most of the time and there's way too many of them. some are kinda good - Gabe's, Chat's and tbh I kinda liked the one over the credits to name a few - but like. they were not good enough for there to be what felt like 6-7 different songs in a movie that doesn't even crack 2 hours lmao

they made a ton of changes in terms of the story and general world and I actually kind of liked some of them - Ladybug learning to swing through the yoyo (which had a neat redesign) and doing so using that Ladybug vision was cool, I appreciate that we get a reveal and how it's done even if the end card was brutal, the miraculous seeking them out felt more like nice compared to just having the weight of the world dropped on them by some ancient man lol - but then there's others I didn't. Ladybug just never uses the cure until the end? I guess? she also doesn't purify the first akuma I don't think and like. nothing happens? Adrien's just sorta out and about? going to the school already? he gets a really understated intro imo. Gabriel sort of doesn't get an ending. I'd assume he's in jail? we get almost none of Adrien's perspective on getting the ring which is really weird

and that sorta extends into my feeling that somehow we did not get enough Gabriel in this. really weird saying that after having enough of that bum for the last 4 years of my life but his motives are carried hard by my knowledge of the show, and even then they're not really shown enough - he's not shown enough, and I don't feel Adrien is either. neither is the school setting or side characters, heck I'd say Adrinette gets kinda shafted overall since most of the development they get is in a montage sequence. there's a lot chopped out of this for the sake of a brevity that doesn't feel all that brief?

there's some good stuff in here for sure. the animation is undeniably pretty and slick even if some models are kinda wack. most of the action was fun and cool, the final sequence with Chat running up the tower and such was neat. I loved the Ladynoir something fierce honestly, the bantering and the sparring and the getting closer and closer. missed them being like that a lot tbh, someone on staff clearly did too. couple of jokes got me too like the opener with Chloe getting a single drop of coffee on her shirt lmao

but then there's a lot of stuff that really didn't work for me. Plagg being reduced to a fucking fart joke kind of made me mad lmao. them being super inconsistent with their powers was so weird. no lucky charm?? WHAT?? did I miss something?? no side character getting any focus beyond Alya was disappointing too and even Alya just dips out of the story after a while. breaking out into song once every like 15 minutes got old kinda quick too regardless of song quality (tho it was funny that Marinette seemed aware of the fact that she'd just participated in a musical number at one point lol)

Fu opens the movie with some really weird monologue and basically dips after the first akuma and they just. never find him again? he plays zero role beyond that point? Adrinette's first meeting is kinda cute in an understated sort of way but it's also sort of nothing and doesn't feel like a lingering thing for long afterwards - it ain't no umbrella scene dude. also Chat Noir seemingly drops the "my mom died btw" thing on Ladybug like she'd know that and she just sort of goes "Ah. Sorry, Chat." and that was. super fucking weird lmao

like I said. there's a lot going on - tho I gotta say for sure the writing was not consistently good. there were moments, flashes, Ladynoir is the strongest thing in the movie imo but there's so many fucking craters in terms of quality that it makes me so happy we get what we do in the show

on the whole I felt the movie was somehow way too condensed and yet too long at the same time. it felt like it was made by someone who really likes the surface details of the series but not the whole thing and like that's fine but I wouldn't say it was a good representation of the show. like the things I like about the movie are kind of all things I've liked about the show, and I like them more so because of that but also like I can't say the movie was good just bc I like the show lol

shallow is a good word for it I think. a flashy, expensive hour or so with little more beneath the surface which I feel sorta betrays the show it's based on where it's cutesy on the surface but has more going on under it. which like this feels very much made for the younger demographic and those that aren't into the show, like sort of an ad for someone's ideal version series even if it sorta strays really far from the show itself. as if someone perhaps in charge of this movie was clinging to what elements of their flagship series that they thought were keeping their company afloat and foolishly believed they could do it better than the creator or any other actual writer. wonder who that could be. anyway

as an adaptation of the show I don't think it was good overall and as a movie on its own it was like. fine. imo. wouldn't sway people into picking the series up but definitely not the worst movie ever made. super safe and super shallow, really messy with a few bright spots thrown in. a cluttered Ladynoir reveal fic where the Ladynoir bits are good and the rest is not. etc.

I like it but mostly bc I love the show - I would not introduce someone to the series with this and might not even urge casual fans to watch it either tbh. real mixed bag imo

also what happened to the "Awakening" subtitle? I kinda liked it and it's just gone. weird

#noble watches the ml movie #i pray for the soul that reads this whole post especially at this hour #ml spoilers #ml movie spoilers

[yourmoonmomma]

Definitely want to hear about last night 😏🙃

HEHE OKAY I PROMISE IT IS NOT EXCITING ENOUGH TO WARRANT THE SMIRK EMOJI i just like to force you guys to hear about my boring life <333

So I texted Mik when I got home from work, to ask what she was doing. She said she was going to hang out with her friend Daniel (maybe? i might have his name wrong) from Twitter, but that she would LOVE it if I came, so she would ask him. She asked, he said that was fine. So I went to pick her up, we got booze, and went to his place. We get there, he has this adorable big ol pitty with a black collar with spikes, named Loki. A big suck, wanted to cuddle the whole time, thought it was a lap dog despite its size. BUT Loki is afraid of backpacks </3 so he bit Mik on the ass when she took her backpack off, and bit my hand when I grabbed her bag LOL

Okay sorry, quick break from my story to share that Jayson is currently listening to Christmas music?? Very loudly?? Anywho...

So we all have a drink (well I had a drink bc I was driving, while they had a few) and did some other shtuff. I was super uncomfortable though because while I'm sure Daniel is nice, he was very loud & just would not let Mik or I talk at all, and when we did, it's because he was texting on his phone, not listening. I texted Mik to tell her I wanted to leave, so she said we had to go to the queer bistro in town to meet a friend, and that we "might" come back. We leave for the bistro, meet up with Charlie, who was performing, BUT this guy from Fetlife, Michaelo?? I think? Idk, was there performing as well. He came over to chat with us after, which I hated as well, because it was like... almost 11pm and I was sober and TIRED. And also his convo topics were weird. He asked if I did anything for Mother's Day, which I scoffed at and said "no way" and he was like "oh why not?" and I was like ????? and then, when I just stared, flabbergasted, he said "Do you not have a good relationship with your mom?" Like BRO you can't ask a stranger that !

The bistro closes at 11pm on Wednesdays, so we left shortly after, and she picked up shtuff from Adam to bring back to Daniel's place, as she decided she did want to go back - though I was just gonna drop her off & head home. But the whole drive back to his place, he was texting Mik practically BEGGING for me to come back too because he thought I was hot & fun & cool & wanted to have a threesome with us. Which I did not share the same sentiment about him, at least, not sober. And that type of talk makes Mik insecure, which I definitely don't want her feeling!! So anyway I did not go back, but she did, and I think she had fun.

We both agreed though, that her & I, would have no problem hooking up. And we had a good chat about Martina. And cemented our plans for the concert next Friday! ANYWAY idk it was both amazing and shitty LOL! I'm glad I went out, and I can't wait to see her this weekend <3

#anon #abt me #mikayla #daniel #michaelo #charlie #adam #my fave way to tell stories #is to give you guys the barebones #if you wanna know more #u have to figure out the right questions to ask <3 #and if not #then i havent embarrassed myself by saying too much LOL

[oseh-shalom]

Went to a weekday morning minyan for the first time today and really enjoyed it! My home shul is pretty small, so we don’t have weekday services-- only Shabbat & holidays. I generally prefer davening at home during the week anyway due to my work schedule, so that’s totally fine with me. (Plus my shul is 30-45 mins away, depending on traffic.) But now that I’ve moved closer to the ~big city~ near me, I have several larger shuls within a 15-20 min drive. So I’d been meaning to try out a weekday service since it’s more accessible now. 

Anyways, I’m really glad I went! I was so anxious (for absolutely no reason!) that I circled the parking lot 3 times before I forced myself to go inside, lol. But everyone was super nice and welcoming. We didn’t quite make a minyan (it’s a holiday weekend and there was no religious school, which cut down on the regulars that normally come), but it was still great to daven with other Jews. If my work schedule/ energy levels allowed for it, I think I’d regularly join a minyan during the rest of the week as well. But if nothing else, I’d like to start making a habit of it on Sundays when I’m off work.

Also, I think I’m still learning the balance between casually chatting with new acquaintances and telling them my entire life story, lol-- specifically when it comes to telling people I converted. Though, this might be a situation where Jumblr has influenced what I think is normal. Lots of folks on here seem to think you should never tell people that you converted because it’s nobody’s business. And while I think there’s some truth to that... idk. Today, I was talking with a couple of guys after services, and they were curious if I grew up nearby (this city has a sizeable Jewish population, so the “Which Shul Did You Grow Up At” conversation is well-loved by locals), if I go to one of the local synagogues, how I learned to read Hebrew, etc.... and so much of that is impossible to answer truthfully without mentioning my conversion process. Sure, I could be evasive and say I didn’t grow up in an observant household, that I began connecting with Judaism after college and learned Hebrew during my adult bnai mitzvah classes... but at a certain point, I’d be spending so much energy avoiding the elephant in the room that it prevents me from fully relaxing and connecting with others. My conversion status isn’t something I want to advertise, but frankly I don’t see any reason to conceal it from people who are genuinely interested in my life and just wanting to connect. Idk... just something I’ve been thinking about recently!

#jewish conversion #not putting this one in the main jumblr tag bc it turned into a bit of a ramble/rant... ah well! #apparently i occasionally use tumblr as a journal now #(also i hope it goes unsaid but they were 100% chill/accepting when i mentioned i'd converted) #anyways!! i'm proud of myself for finally going to a weekday service and will definitely be going back soon :) #personal