#angry frustrates scared and guilty all at the same time

[scudslut]

ahhh yes yes, I haven’t written him too subby on here yet so I was super excited to write this❤️ I hope you like it @darylsgirl23 <3

Heartsease

Daryl x f!reader

Setting: Bridge Camp/Post Savior War

Wordcount: 2.6k

Warnings: 18+, softdom reader, unestablished relationship (but both know there’s a little somethin somethin iykwim), aka your his and everyone knows it, oral (m - receiving), unprotected piv, premature finish

Daryl was never one to keep still.

It made him anxious to be in one place for too long, always going on runs and patrols ensuring his people were as safe and provided for as they could be. He felt at ease outside the walls, out of people's prying gazes, and left alone to do his part for the community in peace. These days though, he was a flurry of activity. Hardly ever in the same spot long enough to see the sun rise and set again.

You knew he felt guilty - that he was angry and didn't know how to release it. You'd watch him work on the bridge for hours, frustration seeping out of his bones and into the atmosphere around him. It hung off him like a phantom.

The vast majority of the community was intimidated by it. They would walk on eggshells in his presence as if they could predict an oncoming outburst. But you knew better, you knew him.

He was angry at the world, yes. But he was distraught with himself... his own mind. It ran a mile a minute and gave absolutely zero reprieve. Anyone could see that if they dug just a bit deeper, looked at him a little closer.

Sure he was strong and burly; a true beast of a man, but he was also quiet and thoughtful. He cared so deeply about others that it frightened him to his core. All he wanted was to protect his family and do right by them.

And you saw all of that.

You had for years now and it only made your desire for him stronger. You wanted to thank him. Drop down to your knees and worship every freckle and scar that made him, him. He deserved it, deserved an escape.

Initially, you thought maybe he wasn't into that and preferred to keep his relationships asexual, to which you were perfectly happy to abide by. Any time spent with him was cherished time in your eyes. But during a sleep-deprived chat with Carol one night on patrol, long ago, you had found out he did have a few sexual encounters before the apocalypse. Just none that had truly meant much to him, or that he was entirely sober for.

That small bit of insight helped you understand the man so much more and you carefully dropped your hints from that point on. However, with your luck, every time you thought something might happen between you two, the moment would slip right through your aching fingers, dusted away by whatever imminent danger lurked behind each corner.

To be quite honest, you were getting fed up with the world's continuous cruel jokes, and from the looks of things, Daryl could use a healthy distraction right about now.

Ears perking at the familiar rumble you'd grown to love, you watched as he pulled up on his trusty, beaten-up Nighthawk, finally returning from a longer visit at Hilltop. You could see the sheen layer of sweat built up above his furrowed brows, his teeth nibbling away at his lower lip - an anxious habit you had picked up on mere days after meeting him.

His mind was bothering him. That much was clear.

He shuffled quickly to his tent, gaze transfixed on the muddy shoes he wore, avoiding any onlookers who wanted to ask their silly questions, throwing the flaps open, and disappearing in a fluster.

You knew better than to bother him now, give him some time to gather his thoughts and decompress. You whittled away at your spears, biding the time as you devised a plan on how you would approach him. After all, the last thing you wanted was to scare him off or embarrass him in any way. He was reserved when it came to these situations, unsure of himself. The few times you had brushed lips or touched him a bit heatedly, he was jumpy and almost insecure, as if he needed instructions on how he should behave. It was extremely endearing to you; like a stray pup who just needed a little reassurance and affection to calm his fierce walls of doubt.

It was almost dusk when you finished with your spears, gathering them up and placing them near some of the other weapons the community used when needed. You scanned the grounds, noticing everyone collected by the fire, dishing up for a late dinner. You quickly made your way over, grabbing two portions and slipping away before you were noticed and stopped for conversation. You knew Daryl wouldn't get one for himself, spew some excuse that 'he wasn't hungry' or was 'too tired' when really, he just didn't want to take away from another. Even if that meant he didn't eat or drink anything for days at a time. It made your heart blister for more reasons than one.

You balance both plates on your left arm, reaching to pull the flaps open slowly, not wanting to startle him with your arrival, "Dar? You asleep?" you whisper into the dim den.

You hear a grunt, some shuffling, and in a moment a soft glow fills the area as he lights a nearby lamp, perching up on his small cot, "I was."

Flicking off your boots, you zip the entrance closed behind you, "I brought you some dinner, figured you'd be hungry after your trip," You smile and he mutters a quiet thanks, opting to accept your kind offer rather than argue with you, he knew you wouldn't take no for answer anyway. He scoots to the side, creating a spot for you to sit while you two eat in comfortable silence. He liked that you didn't feel the need to fill the air, that you could simply enjoy each other's company without all the small talk. You were one of the few people he'd met in his life, who just inherently understood him, down to the most basic level. He hated leaving you all the time like he had been, just another thing to nag at his over-exhausted mind.

Hearing him sigh quietly, you cast your eyes over, watching as he scrapes up the remaining crumbs off his plate, placing it outside the tent along with yours for you both to deal with in the morning.

"I imagine your pretty tired, huh?" You ask, following his movements as he plops down again beside you.

"Nah, not really. Got a few hours 'fore ya came bustin' in here," he grumbles with a small smirk and you lean into him nudging his shoulder playfully. "Why ya wanna chat or somethin'?"

You consider him for a minute, trying to find the proper words to initiate what was truly on your mind. You knew you had no reason to be nervous. That even though you'd never labeled anything between you guys, you both felt it. Knew it was there. You just needed the right moment. Now was as good a time as any, you figured.

"No, I just- I wanna try something."

He nods his head for you to continue, so you scoot closer, placing your hand delicately on his shoulder and bringing your face centimeters from his. You stop just before you close the gap, gauging his reaction. His breath hitches slightly and you feel his pulse rapid under your fingertips, but he doesn't pull away. Taking that as the only confirmation you'll get, you press your lips to his softly, brushing your thumb against his stubbly, pink cheek. He takes a good minute to respond, carefully moving his lips back against yours and placing his hands on your hips. You feel him squeeze, eliciting a quiet moan of encouragement from you and he all but sinks into your touch, falling into a comfortable rhythm with your lips. You stay like that for a while, breathing in his piney scent and relishing in his gentle kneads at your waist. It wasn’t much to the untrained eye, but you knew that was his way of pouring his affection into you without so many words. His way of telling you he was yours.

You drag your kisses down his neck, nibbling and sucking at the salty flesh between his collarbones. His breaths grow uneven and you can feel him begin to tense again, unused to such personal attention, "Is this okay?" You ask, not wanting to push him past his boundaries. He only nods in response, his throat feeling like the Sahara.

He has to admit, he's thought about this many times, relieved himself to thoughts of you too many times to count over the years. He's just never known how to approach you about it, scared you'd reject him or he'd do something wrong.

He watches as you slip to your knees before him, your eyes glued to his. "You'll let me know if you want me to stop, yeah?" As he tries to nod in response again, you stop him, "I need you to say it to me," You press.

"Y-yea, I'll say somethin'," he whispers timidly and you grin, beginning to unbuckle his belt and slip his raged jeans down. You kiss down his strong thighs, feeling them tremble slightly beneath you. His hard-on is poking through his boxers and you drag your lips across it, placing soft pecks down the length of him, listening to his breathy pants. You didn't realize how turned on you'd be, having him all flushed and needy for you, but god were you enjoying it. Slipping your fingers into the waistband, you tug them down and his cock springs free, precum leaking from the pretty, pink tip.

"You dun have'ta," he mutters, anxiety sweeping over him fast, even though he really, really does want to. You catch his gaze, noticing how dark his stormy eyes have gotten.

"Let me take care of you, sweetheart," you reply, pressing soft kisses from the base to tip, feeling him pulse under your touch. You enclose your mouth around him, taking almost his entire length at once and you hear a guttural groan from above you, his knuckles white from the clutch they had on the bedsheets.

You wondered if he had ever had a woman go down on him before. Judging by the gasps and twitches he was emitting, if he had, it hadn't been for a very long time.

He bucks into you, searching in a daze for more friction, and you pin his hips down, earning a deep whine from him. You knew if he wanted to, he could easily overpower you, use your mouth to his heart's content, but he wouldn't. He wanted you to take charge. Needed it.

Raking your eyes over his heaving figure, you slide your tongue along his shaft, moving in slow, sensual circles as you bob up and down. Daryl's head is tossed back, eyes screwed shut and you can tell he won't last much longer. The sensitivity of not being touched in so long, sprinting towards him at full speed. You pull back, slowing your movements. He lifts his head off the wall, pale blue eyes blown to darkness as he watches you take him so sweetly, "Please," He whispers.

When you shake your head, humming a soft, "Not yet," as best you can around him, his eyes roll back into his skull, entirely overwhelmed by the overstimulation, but loving it nonetheless. "I-I can't," He gasps, his accent muddled even stronger in his lustful state. You have to squeeze your legs tighter, clenching around nothing hearing your man so utterly wrecked beneath you. You want to draw it out for hours. Have him begging you to let him cum down your awaiting throat. However, you decide you both have waited damn long enough to prolong your union even more.

Releasing him with a soft kiss to his leaking tip, you stand in front of him, shimmying out of your clothes as quickly as you can. "Lay down for me, baby,' You direct, moving the straddle him as he eagerly follows your orders, turning lengthwise on the makeshift bed. His eyes never leave yours as you sit down on him, groaning when he feels how wet you are pressed against his cock. "Have you thought about this before, pretty boy?" His cheeks flush crimson at your sultry compliments, nodding curtly whilst avoiding your stare.

"Dar." You press.

You were being so gentle yet stern with him it was making it brain fuzzy, all stressors from the day long washed away to be replaced by only you.

"Have, yeah," He huffs in embarrassment, trying with great difficulty not to portray how truly turned on your words were making him. But you saw right through him... or rather felt him. You lean forward, kissing and nipping up his neck to the shell of his pink ears, "Do you want me to stop?"

A full-body shiver jolts through him when he feels your warm breath against his ear, involuntarily rolling his hips into yours and you chuckle at his obvious sensitivity. He knows he needs to use his words. You won't be letting him off that easy. "Please don't," Is all he manages and it seems to do the trick. You grip his length, tracing it along your soaked folds, and slowly sink down. Your careful as you take in his reaction, scanning his expression for any signs of discomfort. He bites his lip, his eyes squeezed shut and lets out a muffled groan.

"Fuck," He mumbles, and you're surprised to hear him say anything you didn't need to pry out of him. A positive sign, you determined and start to bounce your hips slowly, creating a synchronized dance between your bodies. Your body is buzzing as you ride him, finally feeling the dull ache you’ve had for the man below you begin to dissipate as he whimpers oh so softly for only you to hear. His hands grip your waist hard enough to leave bruises to find in the morning, but you hardly give it a second thought. All you can think about is Daryl. His closeness, his warmth and strength, and-

He tenses beneath you, broken gasps leaving his chewed lips and suddenly he’s lifting you off of him, soaking your thighs and abdomen completely. You gawk as you watch him come down, sworn you haven’t ever seen something so fucking sexy in your life. His head tossed back, jumbled curses leaving his mouth, and dark auburn hair dripping with sweat. You don’t care that he finished before you, this was about him. But you see his eyes snap to yours when he fully comes back down to reality, cheeks blazing for a different reason than before.

Leaning towards him, you capture his lips with your own, tenderly pouring your affection into him, needing him to know you weren’t upset, “It’s okay, relax,” you whisper against him with a soft smile, leaning your forehead onto his. His eyes are filled with guilt, “I mean it, Dar,” And he’s back to his nods of response.

He didn’t need any more words of sympathy. He knew you were happy as a kid on Christmas, he just needed to accept it for himself. So with one last peck to his cherry lips, you slide off him, grab a rag to clean yourself up with, and scoot right in beside him, craving his warmth. He turns to you quickly, grabbing your waist and pulling you impossibly closer to him, burying his head into the crook of your neck. You feel a few soft pecks from him along your jaw and you sigh contentedly, wrapping your limbs around his, reeling in your post-coital glow.

You were safe, snuggled with your love, and that was all you needed.

#daryl dixon #the walking dead #daryl dixon drabbles #daryl imagines #norman reedus #norman reedus smut #twd drabbles #daryl dixon smut #daryl x reader #fem!reader #sub!daryl #subdom #dom fem reader #smut

[thranduel]

i need people to actually stop and think logically when it comes to fictional characters. more specifically, when it comes to astarion.

it’s frustrating when people only talk about him in a sexual way and reduce him to “the hot sexy flirty vampire” or “the bear guy” (he was used as an EXAMPLE in a livestream, it’s not even canon in his lore) and view him as someone who “loves flirting and sleeping with people” when he does NOT. he canonically has sexual trauma, was forced to use his body to seduce people, got punished whenever he didn’t listen and is STILL suffering from ptsd after years of abuse and torture (already kinda spoke about this here).

it’s also frustrating when people hate on him and reduce him to “horrible evil heartless cruel annoying bastard” and act like you’re a shitty person if you like his character and must automatically agree with everything he’s done when you absolutely don’t?? he’s a FICTIONAL CHARACTER IN A FANTASY GAME, you can enjoy the complexity of his character and appreciate his character development while also acknowledging his flaws and not approve of every single thing he has ever done.

but before i continue, everyone should watch this scene. many people haven’t seen it because you have to pick very specific dialogue choices when astarion’s siblings approach you at camp. it’s brutal and heartbreaking but this is where he talks about what cazador did to him when he punished him for not listening to his orders. and yes, it’s bad. like really bad. this is just the first part, but the rest of it is more intense and it’s in the video:

“once - in the first decade of my slavery - i found a darling boy who i couldn’t bare to bring back to him. so i ran, instead of hurting that sweet man. after cazador caught me, the bastard sealed me, starving, inside a dusty tomb, all on my own, for an entire year”.

i wish people could actually just try to understand him and his backstory before reducing him to something he’s not. he’s not this one-dimensional “chaotic evil villain”. he’s not this “flirty sexy vampire red flag bad boy” he is SO much more than that. he is so complex and well-written and it’s so weird how people ignore it.

instead of constantly focusing on how he acts at the beginning of the game and saying “astarion is so mean and cruel what a horrible guy who doesn’t care about anyone but himself”, why can’t we talk about how he was forced into doing so many horrible things that he never wanted to do and how his master punished him every time he didn’t follow orders to the point where it utterly broke and destroyed him? he lost his freedom and bodily autonomy. he was forced to sleep with people and then lure them to tragic fates. imagine how sick, disgusted, guilty and horrible he felt all at once. it made him numb, empty, angry and scared even when he was far away from cazador, because that type of pain and trauma never leaves you. he was surrounded by cruelty for so many years that he responded with cruelty in many situations. he hated when people tried to be the hero or make false promises to save someone because no one ever saved him. no one even tried. he had no one and nothing. he was used to constant disappointment and loneliness. he was treated like an object rather than a person. of course he’s going to be bitter because of that. how can you seriously expect someone who only knew a world of cruelty to see sunshine and rainbows and be the sweetest person you’ve ever met? he’s upset, he’s angry, he’s hurt, he’s bitter. does that make every action of his okay? is it an excuse? absolutely not. and no one said that it is. his own life was being destroyed and he also destroyed others at the same time. it’s horrible. but everything cazador did to him explains why he became like that.

but the moment you actually start to treat him like a person, you can immediately see things start to change. that is literally the only thing he ever wanted. that’s why the scene you get after the drow interaction at moonrise is one of my absolute favourites. i know there’s a different version of that scene (if you don’t talk to the drow) where he instead admits he had a plan to seduce you but then fell for you, but the reason i prefer the drow one is because it feels really meaningful and important for his character in regards to consent and treating him like a person. like it’s just such an important conversation to have with him. obviously the other version is still really sweet when you think about the romantic aspect of your relationship and it’s nice to hear that he’s fallen in love and tells you that you deserve something real, because he’s never had those sort of feelings for anyone. it’s really beautiful. but i love how the drow version of the scene could actually work for both platonic and romantic relationships with him if that makes sense? it’s important to him because you made the decision to actually treat him like a person, defend him and allow him to make his OWN decisions (something he never had with cazador). he appreciated it so much that he decided to come up to you in the middle of the night and thank you, and then he felt comfortable enough to be vulnerable and open up to you.

at the start of act 3, you already start to see how much he’s changed. if you give an orphan child some food, he approves. when you first met him, he wouldn’t have. he probably would’ve felt bitter; angry to see someone stop for someone else when no one ever did for him. but because you showed him basic respect and kindness, he started to realise that there is good in this world and people do care. it’s not just evil and coldness and cruelty. he only believed there was because of how long he suffered with cazador. there is literally a scene where he tells you that no one has ever cared about him or been kind to him and that no one else has a heart like you. he starts to find safety and comfort in you. this is why it’s so beautiful to see how much he grows and changes and it also shows that he genuinely loves and cares for you too because he’s trying. he’s really trying. you are able to convince him that he can be better than cazador and he believes you after everything you’ve done to help him. it’s going to take a very long time for him to heal after everything he’s suffered, but the fact he has already started to try and be a better person is such a massive thing. obviously it doesn’t erase what he’s done in the past and it doesn’t automatically “fix” him, but the fact that he’s trying and he wants to be better tells you more than enough about him. i am so proud of his character development and growth and i really hope people start to understand him and appreciate him more.

#astarion #baldur’s gate 3 #bg3 #meta #character analysis #i am once again going to cry #sorry some of this is a little repetitive because i’ve spoken about it before but i just can’t stress it enough #the amount of people that don’t even bother trying to understand him is aggrevating #not everyone has to like him but don’t make stupid comments when you don’t even put the effort in to get to know his character and backstory #bg3 spoilers #my posts

[st4rfckerz]

hii req of blurb of ghost face sam being jealous? like a few days before she found out or post reveal, whatever u prefer!

a/n: giggling and kicking my feet at the thought of him being jealous (also this wasn't proofread, so don't kill me)

mdni 18+

ever since you became friends in the sixth grade, sam has always had a thing for you. soon enough it became an unhealthy obsession. at first it was tame, but it didn't last for long. after a while sam would stand close to you so he could smell your sweet scent, stare at you so intensely that it burns holes in the back of your head, you'd even randomly start losing pairs of panties coincidentally everytime sam was over, but you swore that sweet sam would never do such a thing.

sam's attraction to you was painfully obvious to everyone except you. sure you liked him, but you were so convinced that he'd never like someone like you. so with that theory you decide to go out with a popular jock from school. you were so excited to tell sam about how you scored a date with the star player of your school but to your surprise, sam was livid.

"out of all people, why would you go out with him?" sam raises his voice. you knew he wasn't too fond of jocks, but his reaction still felt a little extreme. sam paces back in forth in your room, huffing and puffing like an upset toddler.

"sam, i'm allowed to go out with whoever you want." you retort. you've never seen him this angry, you'd be lying if you said it didn't scare you a little. seeing his eyes turn a cold, menacing blue sent an unpleasant chill down your spine.

sam brings his hands up to rub his face in frustration. "i understand that, but he's not gonna treat you right, guys like him never do." he tries to speak in a calmer tone but you can still feel the anger in his voice.

"you don't even know him, why do you even care so much anyways?" you cross your arms and look at him. sam stops his pacing and glares at you, disbelief plastered on his face.

"you just don't get it, do you?" he shakes his head before shoving his things in the bag he brought over. "do whatever you want, i don't care." sam rushes past you, making sure his shoulder bumps harshly into yours. he left you in your room, alone and confused.

even though sam made you feel guilty about going out with a brainless football player, you went anyway. while you were eating cheap chinese food at a dingy restaurant, sam was taking out his anger by fucking himself with a pair of your stolen underwear.

sam didn't need much time to cover the cotton fabric with his hot seed. for a brief moment, sam considered sending you your stained panties as retaliation, but he had a different idea.

a few days after your argument with sam, you check the news to see that the same football player you went on a date with is now missing. you have a sick feeling in your gut, almost as if it was telling you something, but you choose to ignore it.

sam would never do anything to hurt anyone...right?

#nai answers! #sam monroe x reader #sam monroe #ghostface #ghostface x reader #scream #scream franchise #hayden christensen #hayden christensen x reader

[rise-my-angel]

Distracted Mistakes

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Length: 10.5k

Warnings: angst/hurt comfort, graphic descriptions of violence, implied threat of assault, restraints, smut, p in v, orgasm denial

Notes: Kinda dark in tone but has a happy ending, can be seen as a sequel to Confused Warmth but also can be read as a standalone. Follow up Past Retribution

Growing up, you knew you didn’t experience things the same way you thought you should have. You knew what was normal, but you didn’t have the chance to naturally grow out of childhood into an adult. No, you were a kid one day, and the next, most adults around you demanded you behave just like they did. Sure, you sort of knew why at the time, you were ripped away from your home and into a world where you didn’t know who to be more scared of, the infected or other people.

One thing that you were taught was that you had to be good at the same kinds of things adults were. Few people who travelled with were willing to give you the time to learn, most told you to just do it and shut up about it. It didn’t matter if you were bad at it, or hated it, you were a kid and you needed to just do what you were told. Unfortunately for you, that was a habit you never lost as you became independent. Years of surviving alone, and you still refused to speak up about things you hated. All you learned to do was to be quiet and stew in your frustrations alone.

Months into your stay in Jackuson, Wyoming had helped to unwind some of the more demanding parts a nomadic habitation had forced you to endure, but if you still struggled with anything, it was speaking up truthfully about negative emotions. Still remembering the gruelling years of teenagehood, and the lessons you were taught. How irritated or angry you are doesn't matter, just shut up, do your job, or face the consequences like an adult.

Unfortunately for you, that irritation grew strong that afternoon, sun beating down on your head, pack strapped to your person making you sweat underneath, and the unbearably uncomfortable straining in your lower half all added up. The steady trollop of hooves and the presence of the men you normally treasured spending time with, did very little to make you feel better.

You put a lot of work into pretending as if it didn’t bother you, but the mix of a particularly hot day, and spending hours in the sun's direct path did little to quell the fact that you absolutely hated riding a horse.

You and Joel had spent increasing amounts of time scouting outside of Jackson, but this was by far the furthest away from town you had been since arriving. Tommy suggested the three of you go together to this area he and Joel had been looking at, and bringing the horses made the most sense.

Part of you wanted to feel guilty for being so grouchy, Joel did outright ask you before you left, “You know how to ride, right? Cus we’re gonna be out there a while just getting there.”

If by knowing how to ride, he meant your one time learning how to ride a horse during a short stay at a horse ranch many years ago in which you spent 3 hours total on one? Then sure you technically knew how to ride, but Joel already had one all set up for you when you got there and saying no wasn’t really an option. If you said you weren’t comfortable on one by yourself, you figured Joel would just tell you to stay behind, so you just said yes.

Two hours later, you were ready to jump off this damn thing and never look at it again. Coming to a stop near a set of buildings, Joel’s voice brought you out of your head, calling you name. “You with me?”

Nodding without much thought you moved to get down, face wincing as you haul your leg over to join the other on one side. Before you could step down, large hands grasp at your sides, picking you up and gently placing you on the ground. “I got it, I got it”

“Sure you did.” Joel didn’t even acknowledge your narrowed eyes towards him, one hand keeping you steady as it holds your hip firmly, the other reaching for your reins. “What’d we just say, then?”

You move to grab them from him, but Joel’s arm just raises out of your grasp. With a sigh, one palm finds a home on your hip, “We go through the strip right there, quick clear before grabbing essentials only and moving to scout the two story at the end. I heard you loud and clear, Joel.”

Joel’s face doesn’t change much, eyebrows furrowing downward. “Clearly not, since Tommy said all that not me.” His arm stretched back to wordlessly let Tommy take the reins of your own horse and secure it with the others. “Look if you’re not up for this-”

“Well I’m already here.” Moving the strap holding your firearm laying across your back up and off to hang over your arm, you hold back the attitude you know isn’t really warranted. “I’m fine, Joel. I’m just..”

He takes a small step into your personal space, head leaning slightly down closer to yours, but you keep talking before he can interject. “You and Tommy should start with the larger building. It’ll take longer anyways, and I can quickly make my way through these two small ones and meet up with you two before you even get to the second floor.”

A warm hand raises to the bottom of your chin, lifting up to meet his eye. “Hey, if you’re not okay just tell me.” His deep brown eyes, usually a degree of harshness within them, soften as he takes in your clear agitation.

Your own hand comes up and gently grasps his wrist, twisting his hold on you open, as you bring his hand to your lips with a gentle kiss. “It’s fine, I'll rummage through those two quickly and meet up with you two. You two are faster than me anyways.” Letting his hand fall, you step back to turn to Tommy, leaning against a post watching with a questioning gaze. “That okay with you?”

The two brothers share an unspoken conversation, as Tommy nods. “Works for me. Just keep your eyes peeled.” Joel moves to start off in the other direction as you make your way to the first, and smallest building. You don’t look back to see Joel’s watchful eye follow you with concern.

You’re not normally in such a bad mood, but the relentless heat pouring on top of you for two hours, straddling such a large horse for only the second time allowing pain and soreness to creep up the length of your legs and into your lower back left you uncomfortable to the point of vast frustration. Hearing Joel almost tell you that you should have stayed behind just poking at your already sore spots.

This was still new. You still weren’t used to having a person know you the way Joel does, having a person always watching your wellbeing with such care. You still feared Joel seeing you as incapable. If he didn’t think much of your skills out here, then what did he really think of you back home? Years travelling alone, surviving solely on your own skills, couldn’t match the experience over two decades Joel held over you. He was an adult when this started, you weren’t. And maybe you still worried he saw your inferiority as childish rather than just less experienced.

How long could he care about you in this way if he sees you as childish, afterall.

You made a slow progression through the first building. Too distracted, that’s what you were. You were focused on what was on the shelves, not your surroundings. You grabbed a few things as you moved out of the first room, too busy making your way to the much more full shelves in the back you missed the movement hiding in the shadows. Slipping your bag off of your back, you knelt onto the ground and started sorting through what to take or not.

If you had been thinking clearly, you could have cleared the building first, wouldn’t keep your back to the majority of the room. Realistically, the best decision would have been to stick to the original plan and scout the room as a group. You aren’t sure if you could have avoided what was about to happen even if you paid attention on your own.

Creaking wood had barely even grazed your eardrums, giving you enough time to lift your head up, before an arm came into your eyeline. All you could do was watch as the hand came into view and slammed itself down onto your mouth, while the other arm wrapped around your stomach and yanked you back into the body of its owner with an unpleasant lurch. Your own hands flew up to pry your mouth free with a muffled grunt, but whomever had you in their hold turned their body towards where you could see a second figure standing before throwing you onto the ground in front of them.

Your head slammed into the ground, a sharp sting flowing through your entire head, and the crushing pressure of a heavy weight kneeling down onto your back. Someone pressing your wrists together followed by a painfully tight restraint wrapping around them, another set of hands coming over your head, forcing a fabric around your mouth with such force it knocks your head back with it.

Suddenly your vision seemed to spin, as you found yourself being picked up and thrown face first into a wall, before the perpetrators spun you around to finally face them. Two tall men stood before you, covered in dirt, soot, and what you feared may be dried blood. They seemed gangly for the strength they used on you, but two on one wasn’t a good way for you to gain the upperhand.

“Search her.” One of the men spat out, pulling out a hunting knife as he crowds your face with the blade. “You gonna let the man do what he’s gotta do or you about to get a whole lot uglier.” His breath felt putrid alone, like it threatened to burn your skin off as the blade poked into your cheek.

The other wasn’t any better, his grungy hands roamed your pockets and feeling far too slowly around certain body parts, before checking around your clothes, pulling anything he found as he tossed it onto a small dirty table beside him. Your eyes closed shut, unwilling to watch his touch, when you realised just how badly you had screwed up.

You didn’t notice the strap of your gun sliding off your shoulder, it wasn’t on you thats for sure. Were you so distracted that they had slipped it off you before grabbing you? You opened your eyes to the one with the knife, and there it was. Hanging off of his shoulder, sitting too high on his torso for it to be his own. It was sized for your own height, not someone as tall as this, but you suspected it didn’t matter now.

The other straightened up as you were ripped of your possessions, “Not much good. Couple knives, some first aid shit.” The touchy one looking down at you, “Lady like you out here alone with fuck all on you? You believe that?” His attention turned towards his companion, both looking as sceptical as the other.

The one with the knife moved it up and off your skin entirely but continued to point too close to your body. “If shes all by herself out here with just this,” shifting the weapon on his shoulder, “then shes the dumbest broad I ever seen.”

Touchy man kneeled down to your height as you lean back as far away as you can, hoping the wall would swallow you up. “There’s one of you, and three horses outside. You ain’t alone, right honey?”

All you could do was glare. You wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of trying to yell, let alone give them even a lie. The one kneeling just smiled, a dark and greasy smile to match the suffocating stench that came from it. “We got ways of making you talk, but they ain’t nice so you best bet start talking. For your own sake.”

With a jerk of his head, he seemed to give the other man instructions as the knife holder stepped up and tucked just the sharp tip of the knife under the fabric around your mouth. “You scream when I take this off or do anything that ain’t just talking, I’m sticking this thing right into your face.”

You didn’t move. You didn’t try and speak. So the knife cut the fabric off of you, falling to the ground as you steadied your breathing. “Sorry to disappoint, but I’m alone.”

Touchy man leaned into you more, your head turning to the side to avoid it. “What you just love horses so much you got three of ‘em?”

There wasn’t a chance you’d tell the truth. You didn’t know how many men were here, or what they had planned. You didn’t even know exactly how far away Joel and Tommy had gotten, but you sure as hell weren’t about to put them up on the chopping block. “Those aren’t mine. Not much of a horseback rider.”

The men shared a look, before the touchy one stood up to full height once more. Seeming to speak to the other silently, the one with the knife waved it around as he spoke. “Look, we ain’t that stupid. There’s at least someone else ‘round here, two probably. Either you tell us where they are and what they got, or I go lookin’.”

Touchy knelt down to your height once more, this time his dirty finger just grazing your skin as it moved down your cheek. “And honey, it ain’t just gonna be bad for your pals out there, cus if they got nothing good then you’s all we got, and you can trust I’ll find a real good use for you.”

If anyone came close to your chest, they’d be able to hear the pounding fear of your heart racing, your eyes trying to glare as blatantly as possible, hoping it masked the chill of fear swimming through your body. Behind your back, your hands twitched desperately, scraping against what felt like a zip tie, searching for a way to loosen it even slightly. If you could pull against the plastic just enough, you could force your way out of its hold. You wanted to yell, just enough to maybe get Joel’s attention, but you were stuck. You were stuck and it was all due to your own stupidity. So you just twisted against the ties. You just hoped you could do it before they went beyond what you could come back from.

Joel had barely made it to the second floor before he felt that passing itch of paranoia. It was a sensation he had become accustomed to, but it never failed to hitch up his senses. Neither he or Tommy had found anything particularly suspicious so far, a decent haul of supplies sure, but nothing to send him on edge. Throwing glances over to Tommy, Joel made his way over to a window.

There was no sign of you making your way over at this point, he couldn’t even really see much in the way of movement in the next building. That itch flares up again, this time rising up from a tickle, finding a home in his shoulders. Time and time again, Joel has told himself he needs to let himself breathe. Not to always trust that his instincts are a verified threat, but there was something about you that threw that off.

It had been a long time since he held these kind of feelings in his heart. There had been people before, but it was never anything resembling a relationship. Not for quite a long time. You were different though, but honestly it was too soon for Joel to quite understand why.

You wormed your way under his armour and found the path to his heart. If he were more like his brother, maybe he’d be a little better about handling a relationship. Something had been bothering you, you’d been pretty quiet on the trip out here, and insisting you do some of the searching alone told him you needed a breather. So he let you go alone, he knew you were used to it.

Now though? As Joel stands at the window, waiting to see any sign of you coming his way, he starts to realise that letting you scour a building alone when you seemed to be distracted, might be a mistake. You could handle yourself, you had done so for years, but a wave of protectiveness splashes Joel anytime he was out here with you. No amount of skill you had would keep Joel’s desire to keep you safe from consuming him.

“Nice to see you’re still just as good with women now as you were back in the day.” Tommy teased. You were in a mood, and it seemed Joel hadn’t really picked up on its extent until you had already walked away.

Joel took in a deep breath, tearing his watchful gaze away from the view below long enough to send his brother a noticeably unimpressed look. “Yeah, and I’m sure if I ask Maria you’re always on top of things.”

Tommy’s chuckle followed his approaching steps. “Hey, my relationships have always lasted longer than yours.” Finding a place beside him, he looked down below at the stillness below.

“That’s just because you’re good at tricking them into staying with you.” Both men laughed before letting Joel’s unease fill the air. “It’s too quiet out there.” Tommy looked between the view and his brother. Waiting for him to continue. “She should’ve started making her way over here by now.”

Tommy nodded, he could feel something in his gut growing, similar to what Joel was letting take over. You should have been here by now, you didn’t linger like this, but he had to stand calm, keep that impulsive aggression in his brother from dominating his decisions. “What are you thinking?”

Joel’s hands flexed over the weapon in his hands, “I should go check on her. It’s taken too long, something’s wrong.”

“Want me to finish up in here, or you want backup?” Before Tommy could even get an answer, a door down below opened. From the back of the first building, the vague shape of a man made its way onto the gravel below, before facing the still open door, and making some kind of gesture to another person inside.

Joel and Tommy moved to the side, masking their presence at the window while they watched. It wasn’t the knife at their side that put them on alert, but the man inspecting the strap of the gun in his hand before tearing them off to hold it more comfortably. Weapons may not vary in appearance much, but Joel sure as hell knows exactly what you were carrying and that did not belong to this man.

Tommy leaned in to watch closer, “Vultures. Just a lowlife looking to take whatever they find off whoever they cross paths with. Probably no more than two or three of them.”

Joel watched the man skulk around the back of the alley, peeking into the window of the second building. Antsy, and almost looking a tad eager, and he understands, he’s looking for them. “They know she’s not alone.” His eyes track his every movement, seeing his head looking inside windows, then peeking at the horses as if to catch someone in the act. “They’re looking for who she’s here with. She doesn’t have enough on her alone, they want what we got.”

At the same time, both brothers head towards the stairs. Tommy knows exactly what Joel is afraid of, if they’re too late. “She’s probably being held by one of them until she gives us up or they find what they’re looking for.”

Reaching the door, Joel rests against the wall next to the door, “She won’t. Even if she wanted to talk, girl’s way too stubborn for her own good.”

Tommy makes a slow move to open the door, his voice lowering as the faint sounds of footsteps grow ever closer on the man's hunt for them. “You go out front, I’ll sneak in through the back and cover you.”

Joel nods, pressing his body up against the nearest wall and letting Tommy slowly headed to the side of the building in a more obvious view. The greasy man hadn’t even turned the corner before getting ambushed, seeing Tommy and raising his gun matching the one pointed at him.

Joel throws himself towards him, gripping the hand at the trigger, yanking it down to the ground as before wrapping his arms around his neck in an aggressive chokehold, giving Tommy the chance to get the weapon out of his hands.

It didn’t take much effort until he passed out in Joel’s hold, before being dropped onto the ground. Snatching the other weapons off of him, passing a few off to Tommy. The two brothers share a nod at the other before moving in their respective directions. Tommy headed back, quiet and steady, knowing he can sneak in unnoticed.

Joel making his way to the front, having no interest in keeping up any more level of stealth. These were immoral degenerates only interested in what they can gain from others. They’ll keep you alive for as long as they can get something from you, and Joel wasn’t going to let them take the only other thing they can from a woman they’ve already robbed.

These men were stupid, you realized. There were only two of them and one had walked out the back door to hunt double him. You just wish it was the touchy one who left. Being held at knifepoint would be easier to get around then one watching your every move, let alone raking his dark, sunken eyes over your form.

You could feel the skin on your hands ripping, the heat building up as blood begins to fall from the tears. Your eyes staying on his with a plotting anger, contrasting against his disgusting gaze. You just needed enough room to pry a single hand free of the restraints and you could go.

Realistically you were a bit out of touch with this kind of confrontation. You’re trip to Wyoming was a relatively silent one, and the months you’ve spent in Jackson have been nothing but entirely safe. It had been a while since you’ve been cornered like this, and even longer since you’ve found yourself in a vulnerable position due to your own sheer stupidity.

Maybe that helped fuel this deep anger, this frantic explosion of rage trapped within your chest just waiting to burst. Sure, these men clearly had been hiding out here and would have been found regardless, but at least you would have had 2 much larger and more intimidating companions as back up.

But no, you were uncomfortable, in pain, hot, and cranky and you wanted a moment alone. Hearing Joel almost suggest you should have stayed home just made that worse, like you had to prove you can still do things on your own.

So now you’re stuck leaning up against a wall, with your hands zip tied behind you as you pushed and pulled your way out. If you had any charm or charisma at all, maybe you would take advantage of the pervert’s wandering eyes, lure him over with soft sweet whispers and surprise him with a close attack. You’d seen happenings like it before, travelling with groups and watching the far prettier and leaner women with doe eyes manipulate those around them.

You didn’t have any of that. You simply had an angry drive to get out of something your own choices had gotten yourself into. With that drive, came a searing pull against your skin and the sudden snap of plastic.

Shifting your entire body as if to stand up straighter, the scuffle of your feet and creak of the boards below you hopefully masking the snap that felt so loud in your own ears. He still had all of your possessions, tossed aside too far out of reach. You could make a dash for it, but not only was he closer, but unlike his own partner, he had yet to show off what weapons he already had.

As if following your train of thought, he made a step towards your own stuff. A finger poking and tossing things aside before looking your way, “Your pals must not like you very much. Leaving you with a buncha junk and one gun.” Huffing to himself in a sort of condescending laugh he continues, “Maybe we’ll be doing you a favour, keeping you for ourselves.”

Don’t think about that, don’t even let what that may mean sink into your head. You had to focus, keeping him distracted was the only way to find an opportunity. “Doesn’t seem like you two have much worth while yourselves, why assume me or anyone else has something good to take?”

“Yeah, them horses look like they belong to a couple of barely scraping by folk.” His scoff was irritating, grating your eardrums. But it wasn’t the only sound you heard. A shuffling of something coming this way. It wasn’t his companion, the loud and uncaring stomp of his walk as he took off in hunt had no sense of awareness.

It wasn’t a long moment of suspense, front door wide open, no sound had yet alerted the man to someone walking in. You weren’t sure what Joel thought had happened, if he even knew of the other man looking for him, but there was a darkness in his eyes. A deep black that poured from his gaze into his entire being as he took in the sight.

Your belongings tossed aside, being fiddled with by a grimy tall figure, your body against a wall, hands behind your back, and if you guessed correctly, you assumed the stings and liquid on your face were likely bloody cuts from being thrown face first into an uneven dirty floor.

Part of you wished he wouldn’t, that he’d force you to get out of this yourself, prove that you could handle it alone, but Joel was protective, and nothing could simmer that. Gun raised in aim, his deep voice filled the air. “Pretty cowardly, tying a woman up after you’ve already taken her gun.”

The man almost slipped along the floor as he spun in place, finding a gun aimed in his direction from a man much stronger than him. “Women are wiley things, never can trust ‘em after they’ve been spooked.”

Not much of a well crafted self preservation instinct in this guy, considering he just keeps talking. “Side’s a like a bit of fight in ‘em, and she’s been looking at me like she eager to start one. You get what I’m saying buddy, big guy like you? Probably not keeping her for her face, but I’ll bet she gives you a good fight, right?”

Jesus, what kind of men are these guys used to meeting? He is either that confident that the man in front of him will agree, or he’s so incredibly stupid that reading the room isn’t a skill he has. Either way Joel takes more than a few steps forward, crowding into the already small space, an unmoving gaze trapped on the man. “Give me one goddamn reason I shouldn’t just kill you right now.”

Turns out, the man had a pretty simple answer. From the hand that had sat close to his belt line, a swift move turned a pistol in your direction. At least you had been right not to jump him the second you slipped from the restraint, silver lining. Not that Joel was seeing it that way. His voice growling out, “You know, your partner is still out there. We left him alive.”

Another figure came into view, this one much slower and quieter than his brothers, crept into the faintest part of your vision. With a noticeable raise of Tommy’s own gun, the sound was loud enough to let you know of his presence.

The gangly creep seemed to sound offended and he looked back to Joel, “So what, you want a trade? I look like a fucking barter to you?”

Joel’s eyes narrowed in an almost terrifying malice, “An offer actually. You let her go, and maybe I won't kill you, but the second that gun goes off, I’m dragging your partner in here, and make you watch as I take my time tearing him apart in front of you, before dragging his own knife deep into your goddamn throat.”

An eyebrow raised up in challenge. His attention found a focus, no doubt used to threats being the kind of lowlife he was, but he said he liked a little fight in them. Clearly that didn’t just apply to women they tie up. “You really gonna stand there and tell me some bitch’s worth all that work?”

Whatever deeply aggressive and growling response Joel gave him was lost on you as you looked over to Tommy, watching carefully, an eye on the two men but also you. As your eyes meet, you cast your gaze downwards towards your hands furthest the view of the stand off. Lifting up just enough to show the zip ties, and then furthermore to show the clear snap holding them together. Stretching your fingers out slightly, mimicking a small grasping motion, before casting your gaze at the one holding you hostage.

You could hear Joel speaking, but not really knowing what was being said. You could only pay attention to the slight shifting of Tommys position, just enough to come within a close reach of you. Your captor standing closer than that, he stood just out of view, lifting a knife off of his person, a small one at that.

Your jerked your head in the slightest of movements you could afford without drawing attention. You needed Tommy within view, there was no way he could hand you anything or even pull you to him without being noticed. As he flipped the knife, slowly reaching it towards you from the blade’s edge, Tommy looked up behind you.

He and Joel were a similar kind of expressive, their eyes held a bountiful language of their own, one seemingly only the other brother could speak fluently. Watching him look behind you, you knew he was communicating something to Joel, something unknown, before turning back to you.

Your hands moved to the side together, reaching out to meet the handle, Tommy’s body crouching to keep as low of a viewpoint as possible, but it was fruitless. You wanted it to be. You needed to let your captor get you close enough. Wood met your fingers and you jerked it in your hand to keep the edge pointed down behind you, in the same instance your whole body was pulled into another.

Holding you against his side with a grip so tight, your skin already crying out in protest no doubt leaving a mark in its agony. The pistol once held mere feet from you, now rested against your skin, pushing slightly in on the cheek he held it to. “Fuckin’, she ain’t going nowhere, pal. You two gonna learn how to fucking negotiate.” Waves of nauseating rot hitting your senses, and overwhelming your eyes to fog up as if his smell could melt them. But the fog wasn’t enough to hide Joel from you.

You tried to look impassive, you really did. If you were a better person, maybe you could have maintained a calm and determined look at the man before you. But really, you felt guilt, suffocating guilt that overtook you as Joel looked at you. There was anger in him yes, but the guilt only swallowed you up more as you saw behind it. There was a desperation there, a real, tangible, terrified panic as he watched you unable to just take you in his arms and leave. And it was your fault. Your own immaturity led to this, and Joel deserved better.

You had once told Joel you could take care of yourself, that you had for a while, but now you felt small and stupid. What Joel was seeing wasn’t you taking care of yourself, it was a pathetic girl needing to be saved, someone who he couldn’t rely on. Maybe his panic could turn to relief, but the guilt was filling the air in your throat and constricting your lungs. The panic could also turn into shame, humiliation, a different kind of anger that you were not the capable brave women you tried to be.

Brown eyes met yours, a deep penetrating gaze that knocked you back in time. Early evenings, and quiet laughs with those same brown eyes looking at you in a way you didn’t understand. Speaking the language you couldn’t and filling you with a warmth that had never been there before. Now though, the gaze didn’t feel warm. You didn’t know what it felt other than the pounding of your heart echoing through your head. “I’d let you shoot me before I just watch you walk out with her.”

What you felt didn’t matter. Joel had enough damage on his heart, he had enough loss that threatened to tear him apart for too long. You needed to end this yourself, and you needed it to end now.

So your grip tightened on the blade, eyes casting upwards to the man no doubt looking to flaunt the upper hand he thinks he held. Just as his mouth opened, he was proven terribly wrong.

His reflexes weren’t quite as sharp as he boasted, no doubt assuming any attack would come from a gun, but your sudden movement had simply startled him instead. Your hand reaching around from behind, and finding the blade a new home in the soot covered throat of your putrid captor.

A forceful grunt from you faded into his own cry of agony. Only you pushed it further, muscles burning from strain you had long forgotten was necessary. Knife sliding deeper into his neck as the edge of it was pushed across the skin to carve a wider slice.

Blood blocked your vision. Your face, your arm, torso, all freshly splashed with a disgusting red, as the sounds in your ear turned garbled and inhuman. Feral like a screeching animal, only to stop just as quick as it started.

Letting go of your attack, you felt yourself falling backwards, only for your back to be met with a softer surface than the wall or floor, and you felt consumed by the force pulling you away from the violence. You could only watch as the man fell to the floor with an aggressive thump, only to be approached by another and have the fallen pistol kicked away from its once owner.

It took you a moment to come back, to realise Tommy had pulled you away and into his hold for safety, as Joel kicked the gun away and seemed to be making sure he was dead. Tommy’s grip on you loosened, but his hands remained, one on a bicep keeping more of a steadying hold, the other found itself on your shoulder. A comforting gesture in a small sensation as Joel finally disarmed himself and turned to you.

Teeth and jaw matched both tense and gritting, as the pantings breaths of adrenaline lowered in his chest. This was it. Joel looking at you in a language you never spoke, and the anxiety but expected anticipation of never having a chance to learn it again, threatening to overpower you. You made a mistake, and it almost cost you your life and however little Joel wanted to do with you now was entirely yours to blame.

Taking mere steps towards you, Joel seemed to encompass your whole vision. Expecting him to stop and yell at you, only to find your body being torn from the comforting arms of a friend into the desperate needing arms of the other.

Tommy had taken a respectful step back and given his brother the space he deserved. Joel wasted no time on that chance, and flew into you. Large, rough hands finding both sides of your face and pulling you up and into a dominating kiss. Part of you didn’t understand, but most of you didn’t care. Your hands reaching up to grasp his neck, holding on like a cliff’s edge, one of his own trailing down the path of your hand and grasping one of yours and holding it tight.

Before the force of his lips could take away what little breath you had let, he parts from you to tilt his forehead down onto your own. The hand still on the side of your face readjusts, holding tighter yet not meaner. Holding onto your face as if it was the only thing keeping him from falling into the abyss as your hands on his neck was for you.

Barely a whisper, more of a small muttered prayer, “I’ve got you. I got you.” Joel’s eyes opened just enough to watch you try to say sorry, wide eyes panicked with shame, but he refused it. Once again using both hands to tilt your head down slightly, letting his soft lips kiss your forehead, attempting to soothe whatever was inside before making you look up at him, at his shining wide brown eyes filled without any of the resentment you feared. Just softness to match this voice. “I’m proud of you, baby. You did so good.”

Were you both panting from the exhaustion of terror, or from the fast and rough kiss his gifted to you? You weren’t sure, but all you could do was drift your hands down his collar onto his chest. Shaking your head just slightly, “You shouldn’t be. This was all my fault.”

Shaking his head, Joel tried to speak but you didn’t let him. “It was. I was distracted and stupid. If I just paid attention, or just stuck to the original plan I wouldn’t have been caught off guard. I fucked up. You shouldn’t be proud of me, you should be pissed.”

The hesitation in his face only made this sickness in you feel worse, even more so as he firmly says your name, "What you did was defend yourself, why the fuck should I be mad at you for that?"

Your hands slowly shifted upwards, grasping Joel’s own and pulling them down from your person to his sides before letting go of him entirely. “All I did was fix the mistake I made that put all of us in danger. Don’t coddle me for that.”

This life you’ve grown into has never once granted you reprieve from any mistake you’ve made before. The world always found a way to punish you, give you your comeuppance for the times you’ve screwed everything up. Easy forgiveness, just being able to push what you did behind you wasn’t normal for you, it was simply how you grew up.

Joel took in your unease, eyes looking towards the outdoors, with a view of Tommy busy hiking things up onto one of the horses before turning back to you. “Listen,” his hands finding a resting home on his hips, features on his face twisting to resemble much more of the frustrated glare you had once been so used to. “You didn’t waltz in here, throw your gun on the ground and purposely ignore everything around you. You’re not some dipshit who doesn’t know any better. So I’m not going to stand here and yell at you like you’re one.”

Taking a deep breath, one hand runs down the length of his face as he turns away from you. Only a few paces made before he pivots to look back at you, gesturing towards you. “Do you know how fucking terrifed I was when he had a gun pointing at you? How fucking angry I was having to stand there, watching those grimey hands pull you into him pointing that thing right at your head? Listening to him run his mouth about all the vile shit he very clearly had planned for you.”

Were you able to hear it, the aggressive pounding in Joel’s heart matched your own. “All of that was because of me. I don’t want you to just let me off the hook just because of,” Pausing, not knowing how to put it, or really how to say it diplomatically or even accurately. “Just because of this… between us.” Finger vaguely gesturing the empty air from you to him, shoulders sitting locked and tense.

Anger had thinned out to a quiet uncertainty. Whatever adrenaline coursing through your veins had dissipated completely, leaving only the intimidating anxiety you had felt before. Footsteps echoed loudly in your ears as Joel approached you, as if they were screaming with each step.

Part of Joel had concern written on him, as he looked into you for something specific to search for, until it began to wash away. Flushed out and leaving a far darker and glint in his eyes. There was intent there, and something..well something that you still were getting used to being directed your way.

It was as if something in his head clicked. Like Joel somehow switched gears, and he realized that his intent towards calming you down needed a different approach. And he found one.

“Oh I’m not letting you off the hook.” As his broad figure invaded most of your space, you had to turn your neck up to meet his eyes, and the darker unknown flashing in them was much clearer now. “You don’t get to scare me like that and get off scot free.”

There it was. Your lips parting as it all clicks together, the same sensation finding its way from the realisation in your brain, swimming down to find a place alighting your nerves. Your hands, your senses, and finally sparking a steadily increasing heat between your legs. That unknown in Joel’s eyes was desire, and by the upturned corners of his mouth, you were sure he found the same in yourself. Joel was simply better at recognizing it in you, then you were in him.

You looked over to the open entrance, only having a view long enough to see the tail end of Tommy’s horse being led away. In a less clouded and muddy brain, you would have simply recognized that he was moving it closer to make packing supplies easier on his own. You later would find a deep embarrassment that he had very purposely walked away from the building on his own. But your attention was short lived, being brought back to Joel’s with a hand grasping your chin and tugging it to meet your eyes with his.

“You don’t want me to coddle you? Fine.” His fingers pulling you right up into his own personal space, close enough to feel the air on your skin as he spoke, deep and quiet. “How about I show you just how livid I am that you put yourself in a positon where that perverted fuck was ready to put his hands all over you.”

Another hand of his tightly grasped at your hip suddenly, pushing you backwards towards the wall behind you. Your eyes cast briefly to watch as the view of the open door closed off as you were backed into an alcove. Shoved finally against the wall with a force strong enough to jolt your body, Joel’s grip on your chin tightened once more as he pulled your lips just before meeting his own.

“Is it punishment you want, sweet girl?” His lips grazed yours with each word, causing the heat between your legs to feel unbearable.

This..was new. You should be angry, upset, traumatized, and Joel shouldn't be looking at you the way he does, alone together when the sun goes down. Somehow, your brain was confusing this panic and adrenaline with arousal, but it also seemed to consume whatever Joel felt as well.

So you nodded, barely whispering a please before Joel kisses you. His body crowding you against the wall with no space to move, the hand on your chin moving down to find a firm hold of your throat. Not tight, not hurting, just enough to tell you that he was in charge.

You don’t think you will ever get used to how utterly soft Joel’s lips are. His stark and harsh sitting features don’t give any hint to the gentle plush softness hiding in plain sight. A plump pouty mouth moving against yours, so demanding and dominating you have no choice but to simply follow along.

Raising your hands up, hoping to find a home around his neck, needing to scratch the itch of tangling your fingers in the soft curls of his hair. Joel doesn’t give you a chance though, the second your hands touch his neck, both of his shoot out and snatch your wrists. Holding them in the air between the two of you, Joel keeps his lips brushed against yours.

“Now, isn’t this a punishment sweetheart?” Eyes shut, you couldn’t see it, but you could feel it. His smile he holds against you, borderlines on a smirk when you try to reach his lips once more for a proper kiss again. “If you want to be taught a lesson for what you did, then you don’t get to just touch me the way you want.”

Moving a step back, giving you space, Joel lets your hands down gently, only letting you go right as your arms are back down the entire way. “Turn around for me, okay?”

Joel’s hands find a soft, barely there touch against your hips helping coax you around into the wall. Once you’re facing the wall, Joel’s hands find yours once again, gently bringing them up to sit flat against the wall. “Keep these right here.”

You give him a nod before shutting your eyes, letting your mind focus solely on his touch. The hot air of his breath hitting your neck before tracing down to your collar with his lips. Feather-like presses of Joel’s lips felt like a hit of electricity, and each zap pulling a gasp closer and closer to leaving you.

You mindlessly cast your eyes to the side, only to be met with a wooden blocked view. You don’t know how visible Joel is from the outdoors, but your head is filled with a lightness anyways. A rush flowing through you, a thrill of being found, of being caught. This was also new, this arousal of being just barely hidden from view. A lot of things were new for you since Joel, some of which are new between both of you, most of which are new for you.

It seemed ironic, minutes ago you had shoved a knife into a man's throat, and yet it’s being pressed up against a wall, Joel’s hands flowing up and down your body, lips marking up and down your neck, the threat of his brother walking in at any moment that gets your blood racing.

The gruff husk of his voice purrs in your ears, “I’m not going to tie you up, baby. But if you move them down, or try to touch me or your own body,” One hand hovers above you only to come down and smack your ass. “Then I punish you more. Okay?”

When you don't immediately respond, his head turns slightly into the groove of your neck, his nose nudging into the softness from your cheek. “Sweetheart-”

Your body moving back, desperate to fit your back up against Joel’s chest. Leaning your head back into his own shoulder blade, fitting together like missing puzzle pieces. Straining yourself just enough to peek at his own gaze. “Okay. I understand.”

Confirmation was all he needed. You knew all Joel needed to hear was you being okay with this, as the abrupt shift in behaviour happens so fast it leaves you dizzy. The soft scrape of facial hair, the gentle push of his nose, and sweet lulling whispers leave you entirely, replaced by rough handling.

Joel’s body pressed tightly against your back, and his hands jerking in front of you to undo your pants with no gentle working up. His presence looms over you as he loosens you up just enough to find home for his hands to slide within. One sliding the fabric down just enough to grip the seam of underwear, tugging at it upwards just enough to hold it in his grip while his fingers dig into the meat of your hip, nails pressing in sharper and sharper with each passing second.

The other is ruthless. Joel slinks his fingers down right to your clit, pressing down on the bundle of nerves with the pads of two fingers before grasping it in a hold. Finally the air in your throat flies out, high and wanting and far too loud.

The transgression is given no reprieve, as Joel’s hand releases your clit onto to use what small tight space he has, to slap it. The resounding slap of skin muffled by fabric and layers, but to your own ears, echoes throughout. Another smack to your clit as your body tense up, winding your insides like a stringed instrument about to peak too far.

“First rule about survival, is how to,” a smack, “stay” another smack, “quiet.” The final smack follows a soothing rub of his fingers against your clit almost to soothe it. The dry rubbing from just his fingers, almost stings in a foreign kind of way. The wetness soaking you just below his reach feeling so needy at the raw burn, but also leaving you wanting more of the pain.

As if the mixture of pleasure and a sting of pain was what you needed. You didn’t know what you needed, your entire view on your own physical desires left entirely in Joel’s control. Your teeth came down to bite against your tongue, keeping yourself silent.

Joel’s fingers rub against you, each pass winding that string tighter and tighter as your fingers curl into fists. The cutting of his fingers in your hip slide up, pressing and grasping each patch of skin he passes, a desperate needing hold distracts him for a moment as his hand passes up your tits.

Finally he reunites his grasp on your neck, Joel’s lips only making a short caress over the skin before his teeth bite down. The scruff on his jaw and moustache burn against you as his teeth mark your neck up and down. His mouth almost moving in tandem to his holding on your clit.

It builds and builds, the white hot core making its way to the surface. The whine and need slipping through your purposeful silence. “You close, sweetheart?” Your head nods, biting down harder to keep your silence, “Yeah? Are you gonna cum for me?”

Your lean back, and Joel presses into you in return. He feels it, Joel knows you, knows what you need, but he does it anyways. Pulls his hand from you entirely only to slap his hand over his mouth covering the cries he knows you were about to let out.

“See if you just behaved, I would have let you cum. I’d sink my fingers into your tight little cunt, and let you cum as many times as you wanted.” The hands on your mouth and neck, respectively, join as they yank down your pants only just far enough to give him access to your ass.

Hands grasping and pulling your cheeks, unable to control himself and slapping more than enough that you know you'll be red with the large imprint of his hands, each slap harder than the last. “But you didn't, did you? And now?” A tsk leaves him, “You’re just going to have to wait, sweet girl.”

As his hands leave you, he doesn't abandon you as his mouth leans in. Starting by soothing the red bites he left in his wake, and a kiss finding its way onto your cheek. All you can hear is the clinking of Joel’s belt being open. You feel the edges of the leather as it opens up, loosening, his hands pulling himself out just enough that you don’t even get the reprieve of his bare skin on yours.

Part of you knows you’re ready, your own underwear soaking through enough that if you’re left on your own much longer, it’ll drive you crazy. There’s some part of you that has your nerves set alight. Anytime you have sex with Joel part of you always feels a sense of anxiousness, he’s so much more. He’s broad, and large and the months you’ve been together is hardly enough time compared to the decades of experience he has over you, it keeps you on edge a bit.

“Come here, sweet girl.” Joel’s hands bend you just slightly, arm around your waist pulling your ass to his own hips, and you feel the drag of his cock against your cheeks. You push back against him, pushing a groan from Joel has his cock now rub against you deliciously.

All you can do is plead, “please," his cock slips between your legs, his own hand guiding his cock to rub against you, prodding just inside before sliding back and forth.

You utter his name, it’s all you can get out. Joel slips inside you, just enough to let a moan creep out before thrusting himself to fill your cunt completely. The arm wrapped around your torso pulls you into him, as if the closer your own body the deeper he can push inside you, a groan growls behind you “That’s my good girl, let me fill you up.”

You were right. Part of you would never quite get used to Joel’s intensity and size, he begins pushing his cock in and out of you. Shallow thrusts deep inside you, but quick and pounding. The sight of your ass jiggling against the force of his hips drives him crazy.

Joel moves a hand to grip against your hip and pull you back onto him, each drag of his cock hitting the sweet spot only he has ever known. A pounding with little mercy and the groans singing in your ears harmonising with the hardley held back moans he pulls from you.

The arm wrapped around you shifts back down and rubs urgent circles into your clit once more. It’s obscene, the way Joel teases his fingers past you just long enough to feel his cock, soaked and sliding harshly in and out of your own warm cunt. Only your squirm of desperation pulls him back to stroke your clit in tandem with each push of his cock inside you, now with your own wetness to push you over the edge.

“You want to cum, don’t you?” Joel slows his thrusts, but pushes into you so much harder. The quick smack making way to loud slaps that sound so loud it almost completely overtakes the moans you are crying. You nod, your head leaning back into his shoulder blade. “How close are you, sweet girl? Almost there? Going to soak my cock like a good girl?”

He watches you stretch your fingers against the wall, arms trembling trying to struggle not to reach back and touch his neck, feel his dark curls beneath your fingers. The whine slipping from your mouth brings a smirk onto Joel’s face.

Joel’s cock slides in your cunt fast, faster than before, rushing you towards your end as his deep voice keeps talking. “I’ll fill you up, sweet girl. Fill this hot little cunt full of my cum, okay? Then I’ll give you what you want.”

“Anything, anything you want, Joel please.” You feel Joel’s entire body lean into yours. Head tucked right into yours, chest and hips pressed tightly into your back.

It rose and rose, your orgasm ripping at the seams demanding to be released, until it was at your door. Joel’s cock loses all rhythm, his own groans turning into a higher pitched moaning and just as you start to clench around him he moves his hand.

Abandons your clit and uses the free hand to bring your neck to his mouth to bite down and hide the undeniable moans as he finally cums. You feel him spill inside you, his warm cum being kept inside you as he pushes his cock deeper and deeper again until he has nothing left to give.

Then it all stops. He cock slows as his deep breaths pant into your neck, his hands finally soothing over top of any skin he can touch as he brings himself down. You are stuck in place, your orgasm crawling away from you, leaving you feel an ache between your legs and the stinging pleasure on your clit fade.

“I- Joel…you,” What do you say, you feel so utterly lost. “You said..” Joel’s pants increase, only you realise it’s not really that, it’s laughter. Turning his face into your neck enough to give a kiss.

Moving to remove his cock from your heat, you almost cry at how empty it leaves you. Joel only gave you a teasing reminder of his words. “I said I’d let you cum, not when, sweetheart.” Pulling your own pants back up, he taps at your hips and finally backs off of you to fix himself back up.

Spinning to lean up against the wall facing him finally, the man has the audacity to smirk. Walking towards him, shaking your head almost laughing at the condescending smile he has towards ripping your own release from you.

He meets you halfway, holding you by your shoulders leaning into your face with a small voice, “You be a good girl on the way back home, and I’ll make you cum so many times you’ll be begging me to stop.” His hand nudges at your chin, bringing you in for a soft peck.

You hold his waist still right when he shifts to walk away, “Joel, wait…before we.. about what happened-”

Joel’s hand stays on your chin, while his other encompasses the side of your face. “Don’t ever scare me like that again. Next time, just talk to me, okay?”

Foreheads touch as you lean into his, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I just wanted a minute to myself but..I just fucked up. I fucked up and it was so fucking stupid of me.”

Joel nods against your forehead. Part of him should be mad, but the other part of him has softened. Getting mad at you for something you’re beating yourself up over won’t help. Or maybe he’s just soft for you in particular leaving him unable to summon the ability to feel anything but relief, either way he pulls you into a hug just the same.

“Next time, you’re staying with me, got it?” You nod against his chest and that’s enough. “Let’s go, we take any longer and Tommy’s gonna storm in asking if we got lost.”

Sun shining bright outside, you rejoin Tommy standing casually by the horses arms crossed. Joel’s hand on your lower back, pushes you forward as Tommy comes to put a comforting hand on your cheek muttering your name, “You okay?”

Nodding but giving him a smile, Tommy seems to understand what Joel also thinks. You'll beat yourself up about this enough, neither of them lecturing you like you didn't know any better won't change what happened.

You step away from both, recognizing the look on his face as soon as both brothers turn their attention to the other. Tommy’s face twisting around, eyebrows raising high with a mocking tone to match, “That was quick, stamina not quite what it used to be, old timer?”

You don’t see it, but you can absolutely imagine the flat but irritated glare likely plastered all over Joel's face, probably pointing at him with a childish threat of hitting his brother. “Yeah yeah, and Maria has nothing but good things to say about yours, right?”

The three of you pack up the horses to go, the sun beating down on you as it begins to move across the sky into late afternoon. Before you have a chance to climb back up on the very thing that set off your entire mistaken chain of events, a pair of arms grabs you and pulls you up to a horse definitely not yours.

Joel chuckles as he brings you up onto his own horse, pointing at you to stay before he moves to lure your horse into walking alongside his own's gait. “You’re staying with me, sweetheart. I told you.” A small smile on his face as yours almost laughs.

Tommy hops onto his as Joel climbs up behind you, grabbing the reins from in front of you and leaning into your body once more, only this time, you feel a warm comfort from his body instead of an anxious arousal. The pair of you turning to rest your heads against each other for one peaceful moment.

“I’ll head up front, make sure the path is clear. Don’t fall behind, grandpa.” You don’t see Joel’s response but you assume it’s just as mature as their earlier interactions as you hear Tommys laugh out loud permeating the air then fading into the distance along with horse trotting.

Joel’s own deep tone brings you back calling your name, “You ready to go home?”

All you can do is nod at first. "Listen, what I was even upset about before, it was stupid. This was all just because I was being stupid. You deserve better than that." Joel shook his head, before simply leaning down to catch your gaze just enough to meet his soft lips in one last kiss. That's all you either of you need for now.

Breaking the seal of his lips on yours, Joel stays right against you brushing against them. “Don’t worry, There’s still plenty of punishment once I get you into bed tonight. This isn’t over yet.”

Joel kisses you one last time, smiling at the obvious flustered look you give, before he finally starts following Tommy on the journey home. You and Joel were a complicated pair, things between you don’t always make sense and you’re not quite on the same level yet as much as normal partners should be.

But you and Joel weren't normal, and neither was the world around you. So for right now, you both still were figuring out how to match the other the way you both knew could. That would take you a little time, but you and Joel had all the time in the world to find that harmony.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x you #joell miller fanfic #joel miller imagine #joel miller/you #joel miller/reader

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

Even more ROTTMNT headcanons

When Mikey was 5 years old he got super hyper-fixated on roller coasters 

Splinter found a book about roller coasters and brought it home for Donnie 

He finished the book in a day and gave it to his brothers because he wasn’t that interested

Mikey read the whole book and fell in love with roller coasters

He constantly asked Splinter to take them to an amusement park so they could ride one 

And once he found out that he couldn't ride one and Donnie couldn’t make one (give the kid a break he’s 6) he broke down

So the boys came up with an idea 

Mikey would go into his shell and the boys would toss him around

Obviously, this wasn’t safe and it sounds a lot funnier than it actually was 

But those were some of Mikey’s favorite memories because his brothers taught him how to make the best out of a shit situation 

Donnie used to be the biggest crybaby when he was younger 

He could be happy, sad, or hurt and the tears would follow 

But his brothers never made fun of him (most of the time)

If anything they encouraged him to cry

Leo used to say “crying is like coughing. You cough to get all the bad stuff out. And you cry for the same reason” (this is something my nephew told me and I thought it was the cutest thing)

Donnie called him stupid after he said that but crying didn’t feel bad after that 

But as he got older the tears became less frequent

The only time when he cries now is when he gets frustrated, angry, or sad

Leo got the nickname butterfly chaser when he was younger 

It wasn’t uncommon for his head to be in the clouds

And it was tough to tell if he was actually listening to you or not because he always has a spacy look on his face 

The only time he was truly focused is when he was doing something physical ie sports or training 

His intensity used to scare his brothers

Which is why he stopped training after a while 

He hated how focused his brain was 

And he hated how his brain would pick apart his brothers and show him their weaknesses 

He didn’t like that he was progressing faster than his siblings 

It didn’t matter that he was the one moving ahead because he felt left behind 

So he stopped training and put all his focus on comic books instead

Because he can’t hurt his siblings with comic books and movies 

When Leo gets embarrassed he will hold onto his siblings 

He’ll grab their hands or their arms and tell them to “shut up and go away” while laughing his ass off

Raph thinks it absolutely adorable because it reminds him of when Leo was little

Raph used to carry the boys around everywhere 

They would be sitting and relaxing and Raph would pick them up and walk around 

They were like sentient little teddy bears 

Leo had a nasty habit of biting his brother when he was younger 

And it isn’t even because red-eared sliders are cannibals he just liked to bite things

And after his brothers bitched to their dad about Leo biting them Splinter “bought” him teething toys 

The boys didn’t make fun of him because if they did he would just bite them again

Donnie hates stickers 

Absolutely despises them

He hates the feeling of the sticky side and the nonsticky side

He hates the marks that they leave behind

Anytime a part of a sticker touches him he loses his shit 

And Mikey loves stickers 

And when he’s pissed off at Donnie he’ll leave stickers on his tools 

So Donnie has to do his least favorite things 1. Apologize and 2. Ask for help

Leo Donnie and April are the biggest shit talkers in the group

They have a group chat dedicated to talking trash

They taught April Japanese so they could talk shit in public 

And there are times when they don’t even have to say anything they can just look at each other and lose their shit 

And Raph hates talking shit 

Any time he complains about someone he feels guilty immediately and apologized afterward

 Doctor Delicate touch will occasionally show up in their group chat to join the shit-talking sesh (no one knows how he does it and they’re too afraid to ask)

#rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #save rottmnt #rottmnt headcanons #rottmnt leo #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt raph #rottmnt april #rottmnt splinter #the disaster twins are mean little shits #and I love them with my whole heart

[ashs-random-writing]

Witch Patton one-shots

Part one

Ao3

—

Patton has magic. But, that doesn’t mean he knows how to use it

(If you want to see Patton and Janus meeting from Janus’s point of view, check out the other story in this series!!)

—

Patton had magic. It was a fact. He didn’t have skills with magic, though.

Every spell he did was either extremely simple or it was an accident.

The most recent accident? Accidentally cursing the ancient naga that lived in the woods next to his town.

In his defence, he was panicked. He had been having a nap in the woods, after he had gotten too overwhelmed in the main town.

Being able to sense the emotions of everything and everyone around him got overwhelming.

He had been napping when the naga had gotten closer. He woke up to the feeling of annoyance, slight anger and frustration. But the naga didn’t seem malicious, nor were they actually trying to eat him

He figured they were just probably trying to scare him away.

But, knowing that didn’t stop the instinctual panic that he had, and before he knew it, they were tiny on the ground in front of him.

They were annoyed, scared, upset, conflicted. He admitted that he didn’t know how to help them back to normal, and offered to take them back to his apartment whilst he figured it out.

They were still angry, still a little fearful. Patton expected that. They had been a lot bigger and that had been a big change.

He wondered how he’d explain this to Roman. Of course, Roman knew that Patton had magic. With the amount of mishaps that happened because of it, it would be surprising if he didn’t figure it out.

The little naga was sulking by the time he showed them to Roman.

He could feel their annoyance and upset spike when Roman made fun of their height. The vicious hissing probably would’ve told him the exact same thing without his ability

He brought them to his room, bringing blankets into a corner and bringing a heat lamp over, from when he had volunteered to look after baby chicks for a local nursery.

They seemed to like the warmth, based on the way negative emotions were very slowly dissipating.

He left the room for a while, lightly scolding Roman for making fun of them when they were still upset.

Roman crossed his arms and grumbled, but Patton could tell that he was genuinely apologetic.

For the next week, the little naga (Janus) was getting acclimated to the new environment, and the new size.

They enjoyed napping. And also they avoided Roman like the plague, a spike of annoyance and spite from them every time they saw him.

The world at large didn’t know about magic, but locals always talked about a monster, or even a giant snake that lived in the woods. Though, it supposedly wasn’t seen for the past few decades.

When questioned about this, Janus responded that he was napping for that time. Patton wondered how old his new friend was, that a twenty year nap didn’t bother them.

A lot of the time, he’d look at them, and he’d feel guilty, like he had meant to do this. He didn’t mean to do this to them, or to not know how to reverse it

Of course, he knew they weren’t particularly angry anymore, but he could feel their emotions leaking out every so often when they were sulking.

They didn’t mind their new size, or living with him, but they clearly wanted to go home.

He tidied up his room, making space for a glass terrarium. It was for Janus to hide in so Patton’s other friend wouldn’t get suspicious of a tiny snake person hanging out in his room. Janus could make themself look more snake-like, to the point they were indistinguishable from a normal snake, and that would make it easier for Patton to create a cover story

It wasn’t so unbelievable that he’d adopt a snake. He loved all animals. Janus did sometimes like hanging out in the terrarium themself, even without visits from Virgil

Of course, they liked their corner with all the blankets better, but they clearly didn’t mind the, as Roman called it, snake jail.

Janus got more comfortable around him, and slightly more comfortable around Roman. They’d often be draped around Patton’s arms and shoulders like he was a tree.

Patton knew that it made them relaxed and comfortable. Patton truly didn’t mind. He’d walk around his apartment with a snake wrapped around his upper body.

Janus had been watching him when he was practising magic as well. Patton could feel vague judgement, but more contemplation and understanding

He was practising his levitation spell on a book in his room.

“You’re doing it wrong,” a smooth voice with a vague hissing offered him from under a heat lamp

“Am I? Can you elaborate?” Patton asked.

He’d never had someone knowledgeable in magic to help him before.

Janus slithered closer and Patton crouched down, letting them wrap around his shoulders.

“You’re focusing too much on the book. You should focus on the way your magic feels when it leaves your soul,”

As someone who tried very hard to suppress his magic most of the time, to not cause any shenanigans or problems, Patton found that advice was not the most helpful.

He hesitated

Patton decided to tell that to his snakey friend

He could feel their annoyance before they hissed

“No wonder you have so many accidents. Just keep all your magic building up until it spills out and attacks everything, great plan,” they hissed into his ear

Patton rubbed the back of his neck

“Well, when you put it like that,” he started, though didn’t get to finish his thought

“Yes, I get it, I’m very smart. Now, try letting all the magic that you’ve suppressed out. But, let me leave the room first. I’d rather not play victim to yet another magical accident,”

Patton nodded, smiling sheepishly

“Oh, uh, okay!”

He opened the door and crouched down again, letting Janus slither to what they deemed a safe distance from him. He closed the door and relaxed completely

When he was attempting levitation, he was trying to just let a small amount out, now everything was flooding out

He thought about how it felt. Calming.

He opened his eyes. Some of the things in his room may have acquired scorch marks and some might’ve changed completely. He rubbed the back of his neck

Janus came back in, surveying the damage.

“Now, just don’t let it bottle up like that again. You wouldn’t suppress your feelings like that, would you?” Their tiny eyebrow was raised

Patton opened his mouth to speak, but was immediately cut off

“Don’t answer that,”

Vague judgement and slight concern was radiating from the naga with that statement.

Patton chuckled somewhat nervously

“Back on the topic of my magic,” he said, looking down at his little friend “How do I let out my magic in a way that doesn’t out me as a witch?”

Janus hissed, the kind of way they did as though it was the equivalent of a hum.

Janus taught him little tips for his magic throughout the day. He still wasn’t good at it, but it came a little easier now.

He managed to levitate the book, at least.

He grinned whilst he was making food.

When Roman came home from work a few hours later, he immediately noticed Patton’s happiness

“What’s got you so happy?” He asked with a matching smile

Patton excitedly explained, cleaning around the house as he did

He wasn’t feeling like there’d be any mishaps, since Janus had told him how to release his magic periodically in a way that was almost indetectable.

Janus had explained that they had different types of magic than him, that theirs was more natural. They were more in tune with nature, and couldn’t perform spells the way witches could, but would also have magic build up, if they were to also suppress their powers

Janus explained how damaging that would be to his forest, if it spilled out all at once, harming trees and other plants, and animals. When pushed out in small amounts throughout the day, it actually helped plants grow nearby

Which explained why the plants in the forest were so big, and why his houseplants had been flourishing since Janus had… moved in.

Patton carried on with his cleaning, feeling lighter than he had in a long while.

—

@a-chilly-pepper @da3dm

#sanders sides gt #sanders sides fic #sanders sides story #sanders sides g/t #g/t #giant/tiny #giant tiny #sanders sides au #sanders sides #sanders side fic

[saraminia]

I'm sad I'm frustrated I'm fucking angry I'm so tired I don't know what's wrong with me I want to know when I will be normal again I want to stop crying I'm not sure whether I'm headed towards a depressive period or hypomania and I'm scared it's going to be a mixed period which means crippling anxiety amongst other things my thoughts and my feelings are so jumbled I love so much and I hate everything same thing can make me so happy and so sad the next moment I want to get out of my head I want to turn my brain off and my heart too it's not supposed to be like this all I want is to be happy eat sleep fuck that's it why is it too much to ask why can I only get off thinking of him why can I only sleep with the help of pills why can't I eat without feeling guilty why can't I sleep without dreaming of him why can't I get a moment's rest from feeling so much why do I never feel rested at all god I'm exhausted this is so beyond any one thing and at the same time it's all about him and if I'm willing to look any deeper it's all about my mental illness nothing else I'm such a fucking loser I should be embarrassed but I can't be arsed I just keep asking why is this happening what is the purpose why do I feel the way I do is this supposed to teach me something I thought I've had enough of lessons for one lifetime and enough suffering isn't it time something positive happened to me for a change or am I just fundamentally incapable of being happy or accepting positive things into my life I also know I'm not helping anything by blogging the way I do my whole blog atm is about this desire inside of me but I'm afraid I would explode without an outlet so I just keep going with the same gag that everyone has already grown tired of believe me I'm tired of it too so fucking tired

#stream of consciousness #i know this makes no sense #imagine how i feel #this is my reality #riikka talks

[bonesandthebees]

Chapter 22:

Wilbur blaming himself for cursing Tommy because he’s the one whose cursed and feeling guilty about it vs. Tommy blaming himself for getting curse because he told Wilbur to take of his blindfold and feeling guilty about Wilbur blaming himself and feeling like shit. (Probably also about stressing Phil and Techno out).

The resurface of Wilbur’s ‘death wise’. It’s not that he wants to die per se, it’s more that religious guilt and what he thinks he deserves + jumping to the worst conclusions any time he can. But we are in his head, everyone around him is not and therefore worried(TM).

Phil and Techno clearly being upset, but trying their hardest to not let it show because they know Wilbur and Tommy probably tried everything in their power to avoid this, so it’s not their fault and being angry at them won’t help. Also, Wilbur will (and did) that their frustrations as anger at him. (I just love their ‘parenting’ style, they are so chill whereas in other stories characters like these would get a very for plot, they are just here to be (mostly) reasonable.)

The codependency kicking in strong. Sleeping in the same room. Constantly being together and when they aren’t there’s always someone else with them, most often Phil and Techno. When one of them needs a 1 on 1 talk the other will always stay or escort the remaining member of the codependency gang. (Which is how we get Wilbur not noticing Techno is still with him at the end.)

Speaking of the end: Tommy is still the only person who knows that Wilbur used to be a street kid, so his little rant might tip Techno of to that. At which point Techno could suddenly understand why they get along so well. (At least I’m pretty sure Wilbur says that nobody cared about him on the street, I’m not going back to check).

Also, Tommy being very scared of dying even though he doesn’t really (fully) believe in the curse vs. Tommy not wanting anyone (especially Wilbur) to be worried about him (or get made at Wilbur). So he hides that he’s cursed and he’s so damn good in pretending he doesn’t feel like shit. But then the second he’s just with people who know he’s cursed, you can sort of see him unravel, because he’s still scared.

Also, Phil telling Wilbur that he’s going to need to decide if he still wants to be Pythia and soon is food for my ‘they are working together with Eret to take over and possibly using Wilbur as a gambling chip’ theory. There’s more to fuel that theory in chapter 23, so I’ll get to it.

And lastly, Phil pointing that Wilbur couldn’t have changed the vision is fuel of the ‘the Pythia can see the future, but never change it and maybe even help cause it’ theory. There’s also a bit with Tommy but I can’t remember which chapter that’s in, so I’ll put it in the next one.

-🌲

the totally not brothers are in a competition to out self-guilt each other

yeah I thought it was really interesting to show wilbur returning to that mindset even if it was just a brief moment. just showing that even though he's improved a lot, he's still got a lot of issues and some troubling mindsets that are ingrained into him which led to some very unhealthy thought patterns. he never wanted to die, but he's been made to feel like his life isn't worth much at all so if he's not serving his purpose and/or he's done something wrong, dying might be the best option

I think it helps that phil and techno are also literally worshippers of death. like of course they're worried and upset and don't want tommy to die, but they have a different view of death than most people do, which also lends itself to their more chill reaction. and like you said, they know wilbur and tommy definitely did everything they could to avoid this.

oh yeah the codependency is only gonna be kicked up higher with this whole situation. the brothers are attached at the hip and phil and techno can tell.

tommy IS scared yes!! despite worshipping death he's also an 18 year old who doesn't want to die yet. sure death isn't as scary for him as it is for most people, but he's not ready to go. tommy's actually got a really interesting internal struggle going on right now with his own religious beliefs conflicting with his fears of dying that I don't have much opportunity to show. but yeah he's got a lot of internal conflict going on with his belief in kristin right now

hmm theories theories theories :)

#ask #spruce anon #glass ch 22 #through a glass divine

[citalsmamcgovern]

The School Shooting Generation

This Is a longish essay/thought piece so brace yourself

TW: School Shootings

The School Shooting Generation

I saw a post on instagram today where a mom spoke about putting bulletproof shields into the backpacks of her children.  She was angry, and frustrated; she felt like she was doing anything she could and it wasn’t enough to keep her kids safe.  

I felt the expected wave of anger and frustration and perhaps less expected, guilt.  These were not the emotions of a parent stuck in an unimaginable situation of trying to protect their child.  I am not a parent.  I graduated high school in 2019.

I am on the upper end of Gen Z.  By many things people have tried to define our generation: by smartphones and social media, by covid, and by political tensions.  Those things do shape our generation, but some of the oldest of us don’t feel we grew up with the same relation to those factors as those only five years younger.  But what defines all of us in the US, all of our psychology as a generation, is the fear of gunfire in the halls. Columbine happened shortly before we were born.  We knew through our entire lives this was a possibility.  We heard teachers whispering in the halls around the country, having no idea what, if anything, they were supposed to say to their own students after classrooms of second graders died in Sandy Hook.  We practiced the switch from Code Red drills where we hid like sitting ducks under desks to ALICE training, where we were taught to build barricades, to run, and to fight for survival.  We knew this training was more effective under the premise that it saved more children, sacrificing whichever few were fighting up front, or running in the rear.  It wasn’t about saving everyone.  

When the Parkland shooting happened, we were in high school.  It could have been any school, it could have been our school.  It was not my school.  Despite a few scares, and a plethora of threats made entirely out the ass of whatever dumb kid wanted classes canceled, it was never my school.  It could have been my school.  

We felt so powerless.  We all wondered: When will it be here? Will I know the shooter? Will I know the victims? Will I live or die? Will I be a hero? Do you finish out the football season if someone on the team dies? What will we lose because it will be considered unsafe? Will anyone really care?

Then, the students from Parkland, they started screaming.  They led a movement.  They spoke up and faced down a world that said they weren’t old enough to vote but they were old enough to be sacrifices to a culture where guns were more protected than kids.  We followed them into the streets.  We felt like maybe, finally, we had a voice.  Maybe, finally, we were screaming loudly enough to be heard over the gunfire.  Maybe things would change.  We would not let it be our school next.  We would not let it be any school next.  We would not let it reach our younger siblings, our nieces, our nephews, the kids we coached and babysat.  They would not see the carnage.  

And nothing changed.  

We continued to have more school shootings every year.

Children continued dying.

We had been screaming in vain.

We fought like hell.

We lost.

I lived to graduate.

I went to college, adopted a cat, eventually stopped jumping every time there was noise in the hallways.  Universities aren’t spared, but they are so vast it’s not the same.  We aren’t fish in a barrel.

And I heard the news.  Again.  Again.  Again.  

And I felt guilty.  Maybe it is survivor’s guilt.  It never was my school though.  I never knew the victims.  But I did live to graduate.  Maybe it is guilt we did not fix the world.  That we failed.  This is an absurd reason to feel guilt.  We were children fighting like hell to be able to go to school safely.  We weren’t the ones responsible.  We should never have had to be fighting.  We didn’t break this world.  But we couldn’t fix it.  And now parents send their children to school with bulletproof backpacks, and those children are taught to fight for their lives.  Maybe it is guilt because if we are no longer the children, then we are part of the society that excuses their deaths as an acceptable price to pay to defend people’s ‘right’ to carry assault weapons without proper background checks.  It’s a shameful society to be a part of.  We are still voting for gun reform.  We are still fighting.  I don’t know if we’re screaming anymore.  Sometimes, we breathe a sigh of relief before the grief and the anger kick in, because we made it out.  

Thank you for your participation in the American Education System.  We hope you have learned your lesson in futility.  Here is your diploma of (dis)honorable discharge.  

#gun violence #gun reform #united states #school shooting #us politics #school safety #survivors guilt #parkland #sandy hook #nashville shooting #tennessee school shooting #gen z

[bunbunpawz]

Hating Me Again

There is a person here, that started to hate me. Here is my vent. It all goes back a year ago, I noticed this person acting strangly and well I found out they had plans to harm themselves. They had a planned date and everything, I’ve seen what they have done so far so I knew it was serious.  I wanted to help, I kept tab on their social media, they found my social media by stalking me online but I didn’t take it as creepy even though that might have been my first mistake. Because they stalked me, I could easily find them aswell.  so I kept checking up on them, found out the date they had in mind and did my best as a human to help and comfort this struggling human.  I introduced them to my friends and hobbies and spend time with them, I thought we has an okay if not good relationship.  They still had struggles, and I reached out to authorities when I thought I could not manage it by myself, but I had never given up on this person.  Probably another mistake on my part. But wouldn’t any human reach out when they know its this bad? No one reached out to me, I didn’t want to be like them. I wanted to make some sort of difference, any kind of help.  When you see a person drown, you don’t look around and say “someone else will help” you jump in to help because every second counts. My worst mistake was assuming this person is like me, that they want help, that they want to change, that they want to be happy despite all the signs that would prove otherwise. Being a victim is all this person cares about, they want to be in their bubble of sadness.  One day they dissapeared for a long time, stalking their social media did not help and messages uppon messages didn’t reach as they never replied. So I got worried, I had assumed the worst. “Has it actually happened?” I thought to myself. Out of desperation I went and ask a few authority figures to check up on them. I didn’t tell them all the details but they might already be aware of it themselves. In anyway, the next they this person had reappeared.  I was relieved, but also angry over being ignored! and generally mentally exhausted. I decided to take my time to think what just happened over, reconsider my position and decide best course of action to keep myself safe as well. During this time this person has decided that I am a bad guy.  I just needed my time, time to think. However, this person decded to wait for me where I cannot escape without confronting him. He had trapped me and questioned me, but I had no answers, and I was clearly not willing to talk. So I awkwardly moved away, but they chased me.They wanted answers NOW. frustrated I had no other options but to yell at them that “I DO NOT WANT TO TALK!”, not my best moment, I felt really bad for this, I felt awful over it and guilty. They made me feel this guilty and I did not realize it until I talked it over with a friend that told me that I am allowed to not want to talk to someone, and when I clearly seem like I do not want to talk it is within my right to be left alone. However, since that moment onward, that person had built a grudge against me. Bullying me online saying I am a monster, evil, a liar. I brushed it off at first but before I knew it the tears flooded my face in public. How embarassing. Bad memories of the past were triggered and before I could even realize it my body had reacted to the situation. The same day they have decided to chase me, which scared me a lot so I ran into the female bathrooms and hid in there. What did he want? why did he chase me? I do not know but it’s scary. I don’t want things to repeat from the past.  They keep talking to the people around me, and he is saying very creepy things online about me that are far from the truth, and I do not understand why he is doing this. I did my best for this person and he repays me with hate, and bullying. I understand that he wants to be a victim but bullying someone makes you the bully not the victim. PLEASE! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! I’m sorry I ever tried to be friends with you. I’m sorry I ever got involved with you. I’m not sorry If I saved your life. Now please forget about ever knowing me and leave me alone.

[twopoppies]

Hello! Followed you for a while, but this is the first time I’ve sent an ask. Thank you for the lovely and thoughtful blog, it’s a breath of fresh air in this fandom.

I’ve just read my policeman and I was curious to hear your thoughts about the character of Marion. In one way, she’s almost a victim of the time period. She’s obviously also a perpetrator (for lack of a better word). I guess I’m just curious to see how others feel about her.

If you’ve answered an ask like this and I’ve missed it, so sorry! ❤️

Hi sugar. I’m sure I’ve discussed Marion before, but it would be buried in my general MY POLICEMAN tag. 😅

I think one of the things I like about this story is that no one is all good or all bad. They all have dark and light. Marion, especially. I agree, she’s a victim of her upbringing and the time period, but she’s also stubborn and unwilling to see that Tom never loved her the way she wanted because she’s so infatuated with him. And even when it’s right in front of her face, she just blames Patrick. At the same time, it’s easy to feel some sympathy for her because she’s so desperate and naive and, on some level, she tries to make up for it in the end. 

I think a lot of people who’ve read the book hate her. I’m very curious to see how they feel after watching Emma portray her because I think the depth she gives the character might make it more difficult to simply see her as a villain. 

From my friend who saw the screening:

Emma was phenomenal in that scene!! I was angry and heartbroken at and for her, just like the novel. Her physicality in holding her body to kind of retreat in was great. Like when she questioned Tom and Patrick spending so much time together. So you start to sympathize. but when she would stand up for herself or speak out and do something ugly, she really became dark. But again, her acts were coming from a complicated place. So Emma NAILED it. 

Harry and Emma are FANTASTIC together. Emma played it so wonderfully. You feel for her because she seems naive. But then you hate her for her actions and the way her very presence keeps Patrick and Tom apart. But similarly you become frustrated with Tom because he’s lying to her, though he does try to offer affection and protection (since she’s his protection against society after all). Emma had me feeling all the range of emotions I felt when being inside Marion’s head when I read the novel. She’s scared and angry, then hopeful because she thinks she got her husband back after Patrick is sent away. But she’s obviously guilty. And the scene with her coworker is ugly and cruel when she double downs on rejecting homosexuality. But then she obviously is hurt and defensive because she realizes she’s been lied to all along. Emma and the writing made it complex when Marion easily could’ve been a villain.But she wasn’t one note at all. She’ll be compared to Michelle Williams’s performance in Brokeback Mountain, I think. I mean that has a compliment, of course. Emma gave a very strong performance. Really, no one got lost at all. The cast is the highlight.

I think people might take it to think that the writing intended to make Marion sympathetic when she literally has a gay man sent to prison. I did dislike Marion more in the novel. But I think the point of the screenplay was to make her a little deeper, a littler scarier, a little more desperate, so very flawed but ultimately someone who is trying to repent. All the characters are so miserable, it’s tragic. And Emma’s Marion even tells Patrick in prison “none of us won”.She’s a polarizing character. The guy next to me said “wow, she’s a nice lady” when Marion leaves in the end to really push Tom to accept Patrick again. And I thought “what an interesting conclusion!” But I think that speaks to her complexity even more.

#my policeman #emma corrin #my policeman spoilers #my policeman screening

[piercedpressure]

hmmmm Myrna for the oc thing. Or. The Butcher ♥️

ill do both!!! under read more cause it gets long :'D

Full Name: Myrna the Death-Touched Gender and Sexuality: Butch trans woman + Lesbian Pronouns: She/it Ethnicity: Filipino Birthplace and Birthdate: Unknown, but was found on an island called The Spine Guilty Pleasures: i've got no idea honestly Phobias: Mirrors, the dark, abandonment What They Would Be Famous For: in canon, she's technically the last and only god of death What They Would Get Arrested For: she's also a god of death with a bounty for her head OC You Ship Them With: she has a brief romance with a girl named Erin <3 OC Most Likely To Murder Them: her older sister Argo lol Favorite Movie/Book Genre: it would be fantasy probably! Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: she wouldn't wanna touch tragedy tbh Talents and/or Powers: she has immortality! but it hurts so not really a good thing. shes also great at fighting and climbing. it doesn't know the full extent of her god powers yet and would rather keep it that way honestly Why Someone Might Love Them: she tries her best to be a kind and is very open-minded. does what she can to help people Why Someone Might Hate Them: she could end up enabling someone's worst traits when she tries to be supportive... starts out as kind of an avoidant type :") How They Change: after a long, long time of internal conflict, it lets herself get angry and comes to a place where she recognizes that she can stop a cycle. she lets herself be loved after having been convinced she's meant to be hated for a long time! Why You Love Them: its kind of hard to explain but shes my first oc, so her growth as a character is intertwined with how ive grown as a person. she struggles with the same things i do, and writing her has always been me being honest with myself and the world. her story is something deeply personal to me, and i hope to show it one day so that others who struggle with the same stuff can have a story i needed when i was a kid :") and also shes just fucking kickass

--

Full Name: Marcelo Castillo [REDACTED] Gender and Sexuality: Genderfluid Butch + Lesbian Pronouns: He/she Ethnicity: Filipino Birthplace and Birthdate: fantasy philippines LOL she's probably a taurus or pisces so? Guilty Pleasures: i've got no idea. maybe [REDACTED] Phobias: VERY scared of huge parts of bright white What They Would Be Famous For: she's a mortician and also a hitman so depends on where you hear him from! What They Would Get Arrested For: hes a hitman, OC You Ship Them With: CHERIE FULTON!!!!!!! (FRIENDS PC) and also npcs named issan and plutus. butcherie is gonna be canon eventually but im slowly convincing my dm about the rest OC Most Likely To Murder Them: smiles.... some of the other players follow me so i wont say hehe Favorite Movie/Book Genre: HUGE fan of murder mysteries. agatha christie is her bestie Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: he gets secondhand embarrassment reading romance novels Talents and/or Powers: he's genuinely well-educated about mortuary science and is also ridiculously strong. he's shit at fighting though LOLLLL she's yet to find out that she can make all kinds of shit Why Someone Might Love Them: her problems have problems. a huge nerdy weirdo. but she's also a genuinely nice person, has gone to different lengths to do acts of kindness for people he doesn't know well Why Someone Might Hate Them: his stats are so frustrating in a world where combat is inevitable LMAOOOO! SHE'S A NERD!!!! he has yet to figure out he can make pipe bombs so until then she's kinda just eye candy How They Change: a descent into a path of revenge and anger while simultaneously slowly gaining agency through the power of love (plus or minus a lot of murders) Why You Love Them: sometimes a guy is just beyond fucked up and you cant help but be at awe at what youve made. hes also just really fun to write

#the contrast between these two are so fucking funny bc they have themes all around death #immortal weirdgirl god vs [REDACTED] weirdgirl mortician FIGHT #also laughing at how for myrna its that she means so much to me while with butch its 'i have to dissect his brain' #also hi dipper!!!!!!!!! so happy to see u around #boyheros

[whoreadsnowadays]

Aha profile reveal🤭🤭

But anyways im back with pt.2 of that last Lorenzo thingy I wrote

(Also just a quick fact, before Lorenzo got his name I used to call him Sandro after Sandro Botticelli who was also a renaissance artist.)

The Aftermath

The brothers were all lounging in the living room, waiting for their little brother to come back home so they can listen and tease him once he tells him that his feelings were reciprocated

Leo was on the floor in front of the TV as the movie they put on filled the silence of the living room, his brothers on the couch behind him(apart from Mikey who chose to sit next to him.

Hearing fast footsteps approaching, the four were on alert, movie already forgotten.

"He's back!" Mikey exclaimed, happy his little brother has returned home.

Lorenzo rushed in, holding his bouquet tightly in his hands as he sprinted past them all, ignoring Leo's attempt at greeting him.

Putting his hand down, Leo frowned and his brothers stared at the direction Lorenzo went in, confusion written all over their faces

“What's up with him?" Raph questioned.

“He had his bouquet in his hands." Donnie said, finger tapping his chin. His face morphing into disbelief as he turned to his brothers. "You don't think."

“Oh no.” Was all Leo said.

———————————————————

The second Lorenzo got into his room, he shut his door, leaning against it while sliding down. Letting himself fall to the floor as his never ending tears streamed down his face like waterfalls.

Glaring at the bouquet, he threw it, watching it fall to the floor a little ways from him.

Sniffing, he frowned.

He knows he shouldn’t be angry, he can’t control another persons emotions after all. But the feeling in his chest felt like he was going through the Shredder situation all over again.

Only there were no external wounds. He can’t see where it’s hurting because there’s no indication of a scar or bruise forming.

And that’s what scares him.

Standing up from the ground, he walked over to where he threw the bouquet, face scrunching up as he felt a little guilty for throwing it.

Walking over to the trash can by his desk, he hesitated before throwing it in, not wanting to see the reminder of his failure.

Looking at his desk, he saw the remainders of all his hard work.

He can’t believe he spent two weeks making that bouquet just for it to end up like this. He was so stupid for thinking he had a chance.

Looking away from his desk, he put his hand into a fist, biting his finger in frustration

What was he going to tell his brothers? They all worked so hard to help him and he let them all down.

He walked to his bed, sitting against it before burying his face into his knees. He feels like throwing up but not at the same time.

He wonders how long this feeling is going to last for.

It hurts. He thought, a hand set over where his heart is as he pushed his head further into his knees. Hurts so bad.

He doesn’t know what to do. Thoughts are racing through his mind and he’s struggling to catch up or slow them down enough for him to have a clear mind.

He just wants to be sad.

Yeah. Being sad will help.

As long as his brothers don’t see him he’ll be okay.

But he can’t help but be angry as well.

Why couldn’t the universe let him have this one thing? Hasn’t he suffered enough? Does the universe like for him to not be happy?

The universe played a sick joke on him by giving him someone that makes him happy only for the universe to take that away, just like it took many things from him

His innocence, sleep, sense of security, hell, it even tried taking his own life

He doesn’t know how long he’d stay in his room. Probably forever if it was up to him.

He also doesn’t know how he’ll act around his crush without it being awkward.

He wishes he’d never had confessed.

———————————————————

Okay, Lorenzo now has a fear of rejection. He doesn’t let this one rejection push him away from trying to pursue other romantic relationships, he’s just a lot more careful and observant(and a bit lot more hesitant/wary).

His brothers know, he didn’t tell them but they knew and tried their best to comfort him in their own ways. He appreciates all their efforts to make him happy, but sometimes he wants to be left alone.

Doesn’t want to make the first move anymore

———————————————————

I swear I love him and I know Lorenzo has suffered a lot but not enough

He needs character development

And I’m here to give it to him

Also I listened to Living Hell by Bella Poarch and i got an idea for Lorenzo based off that song🤭

So listen to it if you want a spoiler ig(if you can guess what I’m going to write tho it should be obvious😍🤞)

Also I was wondering if you got my other headcanons of Lorenzo(they were like just general headcanons of him)

IM GONNA SOB... BRO IM SOBBING... WJDBSHWBZHSBDH FUCK HE JUST WANTS TO BE SAD....

And idk if u mean the ones u sent before the angst ask, if that's the one then yes, if not then no :( sry hun

#Romeo Speaks

[chaossequence]

i feel like shit a bit rn bc i get frequently told that one of my friends is scared of me which I guess they mean more intimidated ? Than anything? Idk but I feel really bad about it bc it's the friend I don't like spending too much time with bc i get exhausted quickly around her,, she isn't hard or bad to hang around but I think we're just incompatible so I try not to express my frustrations after working with her for longer than I want to

Worse she's applying to the same university as my and my friends SO there's 5 of us applying and finding apartments to live in, some keep bringing up the idea of all of us living together and I really really don't want that bc shed my friend and I don't want to blow up at her and get angry daily just for existing too long around her which I feel really guilty about,, bc right now the main person making the most noise was her and her and I just had to leave the study room bc if I even ask her to be quiet while we work she takes it very personally and has cried at some point saying sorry for being a bad friend to me which I hate so idk,, I just have my limits and she reaches them often despite being a good friend of mine

#rampage #school mention

[nyotaliafan-pinkmermaid]

Two hearts united as one (Last part)

Fandom : Hetalia

Characters/pairings : Aurelian x fem!Probus (HWS Roman Emperors , even though in this story are just named after them). Ancient Greece, Ancient Rome, North Italy , South Italy , Seborga, Genoa , nyo!Cyprus and nyo!Greece make guest appearances (Ancient Rome and Ancient Greece aren't married though nor they are related to eachother and the antagonist is actually an unnamed human OC).

Genres : Romance , Emotional, Modern AU

Rating: K+

Warnings : mentions of abuse(even though I won't make it too edgy) , nudity (nothing is explicit and nothing sexual happens between the main couple), parental loss , plus the bathing scene may make some people burst into tears so it will be better to have some tissues with you.

Word count: 6708

(Note : in case you don't like it , don't make any hateful or bashing comments or even message me, expressing hate. Instead feel free to get out).

The wealthy man was still angry with his defeat the previous day and started cursing,  something which horrified even the rest of the stuff that worked on the mansion:

"That's not fair. If that brat didn't intervene , I would have won the duel against that peasant and I would even kill him".

As he was trying to find a way to get his revenge on the couple, two guards invaded the mansion and arrested him. He was so frustrated, but later he thought that his money may helped him to be proved innocent.

The courtroom was full of people and everyone was waiting for the trial to begin. Some of them even whispered:

"What crime did the condemned person commit"?

"I heard that he abused and hurt a woman both physically and mentally".

"If it is true , then I hope that the judge won't make the grave mistake by proving him innocent".

The guards brought the man front of the judge and the trial was about to start.

During the whole process of the trial , Aurelian was holding Probus' hand and stood next to her. Both of them were worried but they tried their best to comfort eachother.

The judge looked at the accused with a strict expression on his face, something that made the rich man scared.

"You are accused for exploiting everyone who worked for you and using all of them as tools. You also abused a woman both physically and mentally. And your worst crime is that you tried to force her to marry you and become pregnant with boys, even if it would cost her health in the end.From all of your victims , this young lady had the worst treatment".

Hearing this , the evil man started yelling and acting like someone whose vocabulary lacked the words ,manners and kindness.

"These are all huge lies. I am completely innocent. That witch over there , made up all these stories about my supposed cruelty and she may have brainwashed other people in order to believe her. I don't want to be punished. Just get my money and prove my innocence, right now".

The young lady stood bravely and started speaking :

"I am not a witch nor I brainwashed other people so they would believe me. This man took me to work in his mansion three years ago , but he always treated me badly and punished me even for the smallest mistakes. I have scars on my back, because of that monster".

For a brief moment, everyone in the court room remained silent. At the same time, they all had shocked expression on their faces.

Very soon , Aurelian defended Probus , not because he wanted to make impressions. He only did it because, he knew that it was his duty instead of running away like a coward.

"Everything she tells is true. She doesn't deserve to be punished for crimes, that she never commited".

Lots of people felt sympathy for the woman and disapproved the man's actions.

"This woman is so strong. I admired the wrong person without knowing how wicked he actually was".

"I only hope that the judge won't mess up and proclaim the man innocent"

Now, the whole audience was waiting for the judge's decision. Would the accused be proclaimed guilty or innocent?

The judge listened both sides and soon proclaimed the man guilty not only for abuse and gaining money illegally , but also for false accusations against someone that was completely innocent.

The fate of the rich man was now sealed and there was nothing that could save him. Not even all of his money. His punishment was already decided. He would spent the rest of his life in a jail and guards would watch all of his moves 24/7, so he wouldn't escape.

He was forced in hard labour, while getting a taste of his own medicine by being treated by the guards the same way he treated the young woman. From now on, the world that he created for himself would only exist in his mind, knowing that he would never have it again in reality.

As for his property, it would be confiscated and they money would be given to those in need.

As soon as the loving couple left the courtroom after their triumph, a suprise would wait for them.

In the entrance of the small house, Romulus and Danae were waiting for them. In fact they weren't alone. Romulus brought his sons Lovino , Feliciano, Pancrazio and Marcello with him , and Danae brought her daughters Antigone and Nausicaä.

The older man and the older woman congratulated the couple for their triumph and were impressed on how they cared about eachother.

Now, it was Probus' turn to introduce Aurelian to her tutor.

"Mrs Danae , I would like to introduce you to Aurelian. We fell in love and he treats me very well".

These words made the older woman happy. She was so proud, that her student found love in the face of a man who was kind with her and most importantly, didn't saw her as a soulless puppet. Her two daughters found the young man very likeable as well.

It started getting dark and two families went to their homes. Although they didn't forget to wish the best for the sweet couple.

The next day , Probus went to look for a job, since she didn't want to just sit all day without doing anything. When she finally it , she went home and told Aurelian the good news. He was so proud that his beloved would now do something that she truly loved and get a good reward.

From that day and on , she worked as a book author and unlike her former boss , her new manager was impressed on her hard and honest work. She was much nicer with her and payed her very well, something that motivated her to work harder.

Her books became so successful , that more people started to read them and appreciate them better.

[One year later]

Probus walked all the way towards the botanic garden. Her boyfriend, Aurelian, told her that it was something very important, and she immediately got there as fast as she could.

She saw him blushing and knew that he had something beautiful for her.

Aurelian got on one knee and pulled out a small box with a ring inside it , while he told her this :

" Probus , my sweetheart! All my life I was looking for my other half and it was  something that almost seemed impossible. Until the day I met you. You are the first woman that cared about me instead of exploiting me. You accepted all the love , I gave you without asking something in return. So, will you marry me"?

This speech filled her eyes with tears of happiness.

" Aurelian, my delight! It is thanks to your support that I could set myself free from an abusive environment and you also encouraged me to be more open and even make more friends. You also gave me the  kindness and respect, I truly wanted and deserved. I want to stay by your side , not as a superior nor as an inferior. But as an equal. So yes , I will marry you".

By the time the lady finished speaking, Aurelian stood up and gave Probus the ring.

"I love you , Probus"

"I love you too, Aurelian"

After all this, the loving couple kissed on the lips while both of them had a feeling so beautiful and unreal that words weren't enough to describe it.

From that day and on, the two hearts were finally united as one. Their relationship was genuinely a healthy one and none of the partners cheated on eachother, not even as a joke. No matter how many struggles they faced, they fought side by side to get over them. They stayed by eachother's side forever , knowing that it wasn't money that brought people happiness. It was pure love itself.

The end.

#aph aurelian #aph probus #fem probus #aurelian x probus #aurelian x fem probus #otp #aph emperors #husbando #waifu #fanfiction