#anna i would die for u any day of the week

[just-like-playing-tag]

I have a very tragic question. What if Emma died by fighting demons & her close friends/family witnessed her die (ofc that includes Norman...)? Can u imagine how her friends/family would react to her sacrifice?

Yay it's sad headcanons hours!!!

Norman: Dead. Destroyed. Seeing Emma die in front of him would literally be his worst nightmare coming to reality. He'd probably be not accepting she's gone and would keep shaking her corpse for a long time, screaming, tears uncontrollably streaming down his face, begging her to come back. Don has to take him by force away from Emma's body because he just won't leave her. After the event, he spends a week at home alone, not allowing anyone near him. Nobody knows what he did during that time. But I believe after some time he will find the strength to keep going on, and return to relative normality. He knows that there's people who needs him: be it the habit of being a leader or his innate kindness and altruism, but he knows he can't abandon his family. And he has swore not to leave Ray on his own. So he keeps living. He constantly tries to keep his mind busy, not allowing himself to indulge on painful memories, which will lead to him constantly overworking himself (it takes an inhuman amount of work to distract that big smart head of his). He tells himself that's what Emma would have wanted, that he has to keep living for her. But a certain light has left his eyes, and it will never come back. He will blame himself for her death for the rest of his life, never being able to let it go.

Ray: His immediate reaction to Emma dying in front of his eyes is not as strong as Norman's: maybe it's because he's already experienced many near death experiences with her, but he isn't taking that she's dead. He waits for her to get up, frozen in disbelief. For the first time in his life, his fast reflexes and incredible observation skills just can't keep up with what's happening around him. Why is everyone screaming? Why is Norman crying? Emma cannot be dead, that's impossible. Emma is too strong to die. Everyone needs her, and he knows she would never abandon them. But then what's happening? Why doesn't she get up? With Emma dying, time stopped moving for Ray. He can't put himself to do anything. His life has lost any meaning. He's shocked. He's furious. He's desperate. And soon enough, he just stops living. He knows that's not what Emma would have wanted, and he feels sorry for that; but he's not strong enough to keep going on. I think there's kind of a deep meaning to his reaction? Thanks to Emma, Ray started living: he started thinking that happiness, freedom, love attended him in his life, when previously he only saw death. Now, with her dying, he has once again lost all of it, and all that's left is emptiness. I don't think Ray would kill himself because that would be REALLY disrespectful towards Emma, but I think he would essentially just let himself exist, and stop living. His family would try to cheer him up as much as possible, but with time it becomes evident it's all useless. However, they keep hanging out with him, as they don't want to leave him alone, and he really appreciates it. But his family loving him and him allowing himself to love them back is just another part of Emma's legacy, and it hurts in its own way. Norman insists for the two of them to move in together, and Ray doesn't oppose, but in his life there's now this gigantic, empty space that is impossible to fill, and that crushes him more and more every day, slowly consuming him.

(Oh my God I've made myself sad?? Jk forget about it, if Emma died Ray would party.)

Gilda: When Emma dies, Gilda's world falls upon her. She can't believe it. Her first reaction is similar to Ray's, but in her case rage fastly takes over the other emotions. Emma shouldn't have abandoned her family, the children that so much looked up to her. Emma had no right to betray Gilda, to leave her alone. Of course it's just a defense mechanism, and Gilda doesn't really believe that, but right now that's for her the easiest, most immediate reaction in order to not let the pain kill her. She's losing sight of what's the meaning of living, now that Emma's gone, fastly falling to desperation. Eventually Don will be able to bring her out of her state, and show her that there's plenty of things that make life worth living. I truly believe these two have an amazing relationship, and they would be of great help to each other with coping with the grief. Gilda is going to be ok, because that was the most important thing for Emma, for her friends to be happy.

Don: Let me get this straight: he's as desperate and lost as everyone else. He just lost one of the most precious people in his life and he's absolutely destroyed. He cries a lot, on the spot and the days and nights after. Emma was a big model and inspiration for him, but before that, she was a dear friend like no others. However, I think between him and the people before listed he would be the most functional one although the pain. He's broken, but he still manages to get up and push the others to move forward. Now that Emma is gone, he knows that somebody has to take her place; and even though he knows there's no one like her, he can at least try to be the support the children need. His family needs him, and he owes it to Emma. After Emma's death he will be the most helpful guide to help the others overcome the grief- which is sad in its own way, because if he helps everyone, then who helps him? I hope these kids will get therapy.

Anna and Nat: Shocked. Desperate. Heartbroken. They're young enough to see Emma as an older sister and old enough to fully feel the pain of her death. Hopefully they will be able to recover.

GF children: They're all so confused and lost. They can't understand what's happening. More than Emma's death, which is hard to process on it's own, they're shattered by their older siblings reactions. They would be upset indeed, but I believe children have a magical way to cope, and they will eventually be able to overcome the pain. They're the ones that best cherish Emma's memory, truly believing that she lives in their hearts and in their happiness. They become the greatest cheer up and drive to keep living for the older ones.

Phil: Heartbroken!!!!!! Miserable! Inconsolable! Emma's death deeply signs him. It takes him weeks to fully recover. After that he will try acting as normal as possible, especially for his younger siblings, but he'll never manage to be as cheerful and thoughtless as he used to be ever again. His childhood died with Emma.

Oliver: He cries a lot. Since Emma was younger than himself, he loved her as a younger sister, and when she dies, he blames himself for failing to protect her. However, he will do his best to reassure and help the others. Goldy Pond's experience taught him that it feels better to keep yourself busy, so that your mind won't have the time to linger on the pain. It isn't the best coping mechanism for him to handle the trauma with, but he indeed was of great help to fill the leader space Emma had left behind.

GP group: Upset. I like to believe that with the time they spent together at the bunker, they started loving Emma as a sister, rather than looking at her as a leader or a hero. That made her death all the more dreadful. Emma's death brought back once again the horror and desperation of the hunting ground, the pain of losing the family you loved. Having it suddenly brought back after such a long time was horrible: multiple people had breakdowns, with many thinking that such suffering is destined to haunt them forever. Eventually, with the support of their family they will help each other to get out it. Group therapy guys!!!

#tpn #the promised neverland #I really should avoid letting asks pile up 😭😭😭 #They're all very interesting but they take a while for me to properly sit down and answer to them... Sorry peoples #Anyway this was generally very fun to write? #Except for Phil's part that wasn't fun #Why is writing angst so entertaining? #tpn norman #noremma #tpn ray #rayemma #full score trio #tpn gilda #gildemma #tpn don #gildon #tpn anna #tpn nat #tpn gf children #tpn phil #tpn oliver #tpn gp gang #tpn headcanons #mine #people asks me stuff #I find it very hilarious how Anon felt the need to underline how Norman is part of Emma's family? #Is it because Anon ships NorEmma? Is it because Anon thinks I dislike NorEmma? #Is it because Anon isn't sure whether Norman is part of Emma's family or not? Either way it's hilarious #Thank you for asking I had fun!!! #emma dies au

[chilling-seavey]

OH MY GOSH OKAY SINCE WE'RE DOING THE CHRISTMAS WRITING PARTY CAN U WRITE ONE FOR PASSCHENDAELE WHERE IT'S THE FIRST CHRISTMAS AFTER THE WAR OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT? OR OR OR THE CHRISTMAS TRUCE

Love the idea of the Christmas Truce and I forgot I actually had this one planned since the beginning! For those of you who don’t know, The Christmas Truce of 1914 was a true event that happened, where British and German soldiers left their trenches on Christmas Day and celebrated together in peace. 

Get your tissues ready.

Also thank you to @janav21 for helping me with some German translations xx

T/W Mentions of war violence, death, the honest truth the deep down all humans are good, and the first seeds of what would later stem into PTSD

December 24, 1914

“Post for you, Lance Corporal Seavey.”

Through the darkness of the night, Christian raised his head from the side of the trench to look up at the man standing in front of him and holding out a brown paper wrapped package. With shivering hands in gloves that didn’t do much to keep in the heat, Christian reached up to take it from him, the men sharing stiff nods as thanks and acknowledgment before the man continued down the lines.

It was a particularly cold night and the ground was frozen with fresh fallen snow, stained red in places from battles and brown in places from upturned soil made from shells but the light flurries that fell through the silent night made it feel somewhat peaceful. Christian pulled at the string and opened his package, the first thing on the top being an old family photograph of his parents and his younger brother and younger sister and him from years earlier when they were small. He smiled warmly at the memory, missing them more than ever on Christmas Eve. Normally they would be sitting by their Christmas tree and singing carols and drinking warm mugs of tea around the fire but instead, he was sat all alone in frozen stiff soil trenches in the middle of Belgium. The next item was a letter tucked on top of a small bar of chocolate. Christian smiled at the gift and unwrapped the corner of it to take a bite.

The crack of the cold coca from his teeth seemed to nearly echo through the barren wasteland the British army found themselves in, but Christian smiled bashfully to himself as he let the sweet flavour melt in his mouth. As he ate his treat, he unfolded his letter from his mother to read her near weekly correspondence.

My Darling Christian,

Christmas is not the same without you. Anna and Daniel and I decorated the tree together last week and there was no one to put the star on top. Daniel took your job instead but he had to stand on a chair and nearly toppled right off! You would have had such a laugh with us. I couldn’t resist a year without at least giving you something small so I hope this chocolate bar suffices – we are not allowed to send anything larger. I hope next Christmas I will see you home again as I miss you terribly. The world over here seems so much darker without you around, my sunshine, but I am sure you are bringing your bright spirits wherever you go. Please write me and let me know how Christmas is celebrated in Belgium (although I know you are most likely already writing an essay for me!). Your weekly letters make me miss you more but they let me know that you are well and safe.

I love you, my sweet angel. Happy Christmas.

Mum xx

Christian sniffled and folded the letter to tuck it back into his inside breast pocket along with the photograph of his family. With one more bite of chocolate, he folded it back up and tucked it in his pack before letting his eyes close and his head rest back against the wall of the trench, light snowflakes falling against his face that took a while to melt with the chill that coated his pale skin. He would reply to his mother later as it was getting late, and the usual waiting game was sending Christian into a restful state.

It wasn’t long before a noise could be heard in the distance and a few of the British men quickly snapped to attention to see what was happening out in the darkness of No Mans Land. Christian sat up too, locking in on the soft tune that was drifting through the nighttime air. The words were incomprehensible but the tune was more than familiar.

“What the bloody hell is that?” one of the men whispered.

“It…It’s Silent Night, sir.” Christian answered quietly.

The higher ups turned to the Lance Corporal as if forgetting the young man could even speak. A small group had gathered in their section of the trenches, all the men bundled up in their jackets and gloves as they listened to the German soldiers singing Christmas carols from a few many yards away.

Stille Nacht, heilige Nacht!

Alles schläft, einsam wacht

Nur das traute, hochheilige Paar.

Holder Knabe im lockigen Haar,

Schlaf in himmlischer Ruh,

Schlaf in himmlischer Ruh.

The British soldiers stood in silence as they listened, a few humming quietly to themselves as if afraid to make their presence aware to the enemy. Finally, one of the newer men sang first, his curly hair falling from under his cap and his glasses slightly fogged up from his warm breath through the cold night, joining right in along side the Germans,

Silent night, holy night!

Shepherds quake at the sight!

A few more men joined in, Christian included,

Glories stream from heaven afar;

Heavenly hosts sing Al-le-lu-ia!

And soon everyone was singing together in harmony,

Christ the Savior is born! / Christ, der Retter ist da!

Christ the Savior is born! / Christ, der Retter ist da!

By the final verse, both sides of the front lines were singing loudly together, their voices carrying across the vast expanse of fields and raising high into the night sky. Half in English and half in German, they sang in one choir,

Stille Nacht, heilige Nacht! / Silent night, holy night

Gottes Sohn, o wie lacht / Son of God, oh, love's pure light

Lieb aus deinem göttlichen Mund, / Radiant beams from Thy holy face

Da uns schlägt die rettende Stund, / With the dawn of redeeming grace

Christ, in deiner Geburt, / Jesus, Lord at Thy birth

Christ, in deiner Geburt. / Jesus, Lord at Thy birth

When the song concluded, silence fell once again over the battlefields, the snow falling steadily around them. Christian smiled a little to himself at the momentary peace and tucked in for the night with his family photograph held right against his heart.

December 25, 1914

As the sun rose on Christmas morning, the British soldiers wished each other ‘Happy Christmas’ as they started their usual breakfasts or morning duties. It wasn’t long before one of the higher ups was ordering a rise to arms and Christian snatched up his rifle with the rest of the men to get into position.

“There’s a man over there.” the soldier said, peering through the viewfinder out across No Mans Land. “He’s holding his hands up in their trenches.”

The British cocked their rifles.

“Don’t fire!”

“He’s unarmed.”

Christian peeked up over the edge of the parapet and someone grabbed his shoulder to pull him back down to safety. He shrugged him off and leaned back up again, watching the German man walk shakily and slowly out of his trench and onto the fresh fallen snow of the battlefield, hands raised and any weaponry missing.

Christian was a man who had too much trust in people – at least up to the end of 1914 – and he didn’t think twice before dropping his rifle to the floor of the trench as well as his pack of grenades and bullets and stood up on the fire step with his own hands raised.

“Lace Corporal Seavey, what the hell are you doing?” his Lieutenant snapped.

“Must be a trap! You’re gonna get bloody well blown up!” another added from farther down.

But Christian climbed carefully out of the safety of the trench, his heart hammering in his chest as he touched the crisp white snow of the Belgian field and shakily got to his feet to face the enemy. A few more German men climbed out of their trenches followed by a few British and soon the two sides were meeting in the middle. It was silent except for the chilly winter wind that whistled across the land and the crunching of snow under military boots. Christian fell to a stop in front of the young man opposite him, the German’s face looking just as hesitant as Christian’s himself. He had the nicest grey eyes Christian had ever seen and he offered out his hand with a nervous smile tugging at his lips. Christian looked down at his outstretched hand before taking his handshake.

“My name is Christian.” he spoke slowly.

“My…name…is Heinrich.” the man replied.

“Pleased to meet you, Heinrich.” Christian said.

“Freut mich, dich kennenzulernen.”

The enemies seemed to group up and well wishes of Merry Christmas is English and German moulded as one and chatter rose across the Belgian fields. Handshakes were shared and photographs were taken and tensions felt like they had vanished. Christian pulled out his unfinished chocolate bar and offered a piece to his new friend.

Heinrich grinned and nodded, taking a small square with icy hands and a warm, “Danke.”

They ate together for a moment in calm silence, both a little shy but their bashful smiles were mirrored with near relief.

“Wie alt bist du??”

“Sorry?” Christian looked over at him.

“Uhm…” Heinrich thought for a moment before pointing to his watch and then gesturing up. “Years? You?”

“Oh. I am twenty-four.” Christian answered, showing the numbers with his fingers. “You?”

“Dreiundzwanzig.” Heinrich did the same, showing a two and then a three with his hand.

They shared smiles, cheeks a rosy red in the winter air and the tip of Christian’s nose was turning pink too. He offered Heinrich another piece of chocolate before taking out his photograph from his pocket and stepping closer to show him.

“This is my family.” Christian told him with pride and he pointed to each of his family members, “Father-”

“Vater.”

Christian glanced up at his new friend and nodded in agreement, “Yes. My Vater.” He continued on, “My Mother-”

“Mutter.”

“Sister and brother.”

“Schwester und bruder.”

“Yes. Anna and Daniel.”

“Anna?” Heinrich questioned, looking at Christian with wide shining eyes.

“Yes. My sister.”

Heinrich reached into his own jacket pocket and rummaged around a moment before pulling out his own photograph and held it out to show Christian, the blonde woman sitting graciously in the frame.

“Anneliese. Meine frau.”

“Frau? Wife.” Christian said. “Anna.”

“Yes, my…Anna.”

The young men shared excited grins and another piece of chocolate as a few men around them started singing more carols. Food rations were shared and a few drinks were poured and German and British men were arm in arm and singing loudly together. Heinrich and Christian stuck together, joining in for a few photographs taken by their officers and the group shared a good laugh when one of the German generals slipped on a path of ice and fell on his behind.

Soon, with the heat of the excitement and festivities, jackets were being tossed back into designated trenches and someone brought out a soccer ball, earning cheers from both sides. Small teams were divided up – British against Germans of course – and they played together most of the day, using jackets and canteens as makeshift goal posts as the watching soldiers stood in lines around their little made field. Christian pulled an impressive dive to catch the ball before he was scored on and loud excited cheers erupted from both sides at the move. Heinrich pulled him up from the snowy ground with an offered hand and Christian thanked him with a smile as he brushed himself off.

By the time the sun was starting to set, everyone was taken by surprise; the day had gone by so fast. Newly formed friendship groups said their goodbyes and Christian and Heinrich shared a friendly embrace as well.

“Happy Christmas.”

“Fröhe Weihnachten.” Heinrich held out a ration of cigarettes towards him with a friendly smile. “For…the schokolade.”

Christian didn’t smoke but the gesture was beautiful and he took the small pack within their final handshake, “Thank you.”

“Hope…you see…your Anna soon.” Heinrich spoke slowly through his broken English.

“You too.” Christian said as they dropped hands.

They shared one final nod, as if trying to piece together the incredible goings on of that day and the fact that they had just wholeheartedly trusted the enemy. Both sides were bordering on treason after spending such a day together but they returned to their trenches without another word or a single shot fired. Christian got himself settled with the sun setting and leaving the trenches in darkness, feeling more at peace than he had in a while. He was too tired to write to his mother that night, fading into a sleep stemmed from exhaustion from the day’s unique festivities. Even still, everyone was wondering what the next day would hold and if the truce was a turning point for the beginning of the end of the war.

With daybreak came another attempt of peace, and Christian found himself beaming with excitement as Heinrich and a few German men were making their way over the battlefield again after breakfast. Christian was stood beside the British Lieutenant-Colonel as they had their rifles at the ready out of habit but Christian didn’t even have his finger on the trigger.

One of the German officers who was walking over spoke first from the halfway mark between their front lines, “You still got the armistice?”

Christian started to stand up to join them but the ringing of a single shot rang through the barren fields before he could move. He watched as Heinrich fell backwards, shot right through the head until his blood was staining the fresh white snow and his grey eyes staring lifeless into the sky. The cold face of the British Lieutenant-Colonel was unphased as they were propelled into another battle by that single shot.

Another battle where they were forced to kill those they just celebrated with a mere day before, with whom each side shared stories and photographs and treats. Now, both sides were forced back into the usual way of the war under orders of their stern officers who claimed the only way to win was to gain their ground. Christian sat alone that night, a blank parchment on one knee, the pack of German cigarettes on his other, and the vision of Heinrich’s lifeless eyes in his mind. He sat there for nearly an hour trying to figure out what to say to his mother, only getting as far as her name scribbled shakily in the top left corner.

Christian didn’t smoke but that night he pulled one of the cigarettes from the German ration and borrowed a light from another soldier and he let himself sit against the side of the trench and mourn the loss of a friend. He felt guilty and shameful and disgusted with himself and with the war and with the concept of even being there at all, how each time he pulled the trigger he was killing one of his momentary friends. Good men who were friends and brothers and sons and husbands.

Christian couldn’t get himself to return a letter to his mother. He no longer felt like his mother’s angel that she called him so often. And he never would be again.

#✉ #daniel seavey #christian seavey #ww1 #christmas truce #why dont we #why dont we imagines #christmas writing party 2020

[erixyin]

Idk where i saw this but i need to write my own

MLQC Boys React - MC wearing their shirt/tshirt as a dress in public.

Note: have been dating for a while, like 6 months?

A little NSFW but not too bad x

Victor:

You had stayed over at his for the weekend and now it was Sunday and you had run out of clean none-casual clothes. And you had forgotten to pack any with you or go shopping because you had been very distracted all weekend. By victor without a shirt on wahhhhhh

You rummaged through his closet quickly. Boi was already at work he had a 6am meeting. You dont know how he has the energy to do that. You would literally die if someone said you have to be out of bed before 6am

He looked at his long fancy shirts and you had an idea. You grabbed the one that felt the nicest and that was not the boring grey shirts he usually had. It was a purple silk shirt and it came down to about your knees. MC is so small.

Little did you know that that was literally one of the most expensive shirts he owned...

NOT IN THE CAPACITY TO KNOW FANCY BRAND NAMES OK

You sinched it in at the waist with a belt you had worn over the weekend and put on some gold earrings and necklace. You finished the look with black tights and your black doc martens, PRAYING that no one at work would mind that you looked more SMART CASUAL than SMART.

You thought u looked hella cute in the mirror so u went to work at 9am.

You had forgotten you had a meeting with Victor at 11am.

he did a double take when you walked into the room.

He squinted at your “dress” and you could tell he was going through his memory bank of where he had seen it before.

“Is that... new?” He asked eyeing you every so often before glancing back down to your weekly report

“Uh... yeah relatively. Do u like it?” You asked innocently batting your eyes.

“Where’s it from?” He passed you back your report, forgetting to give any negative comments unusually. He thought you looked hella cute but he totally wasn’t going to tell u that.

“I-I can’t remember.” You blushed hiding behind the report a little.

He stood up and leaned against the front of his desk, now towering above you casually. “I thought you had enough clothes, without needing to borrow mind”

Ok. Now you were bright red.

“D-d-do you not like it?” You stammered and then flashed him a cheeky smile, “i can take it off and give it you back”.

Victor’s hear stopped momentarily before going “Dummy” and patting you gently on the head.

You walked out of his office 2 hours later feeling on top of the world. that’s not the only thing you were on top of

Mr CEO was surprisingly in a good mood for the rest of the day and even gave Goldman a small smile. GOLDMAN IS FREAKING OUT.

Lucien:

It had been a last minute decision sleepover... totally innocent absolutely nothing happened what are you talking about.

Lucien had already left for a lecture he was giving at the university. You had promised to meet up with him once he had finished his schedule.

Now you totally COULD simply go back to your apartment and pick out something you’d worn a few times and Lucien had seen you in. OR you could actually conduct an experiment of your own and make Lucien hella blushy - even if boi went a little red it would be a triumph in himself. BOI HAS A BETTER POKER FACE THAN VICTOR HOW

Being a little bit devious you decided to raid Lucien’s closet. BOI LIKES TO BE STYLISH

He has everything coordinated by colour and by season/activity. Jumpers go in the bottom right next to the winter coats and shirts were hung up towards the left for those “casual days”.

Boi doesnt own a tshirt, he only knows smart casual and smart. Loungewear? Sweatpants?? Boi has never heard of em

Most of his clothes were black and white with a tad bit of grey and brown in there but you found at the very back of the wardrobe a white shirt with pink butterflies patterned over it. Masculinity is so fragile, let the man wear pink. He can OWN it.

You decided to go for it and match it with thigh high suede wedges to give yourself a little extra height. You sinched it in with a simple black studded belt and added nude tights. You put your hair up into a “cute messy” bun and popped a pencil in to keep it in place. You paired it with a little black satchel and “natural” makeup with maybe a red lip tint? Lucien likes a red lip and you can’t tell me otherwise

It was about 2pm and you decided to head over to the university. A little spring in your step.

You knew his schedule by now so you knew he’d be in his office round about now. You checked the times 2:30pm. Half an hour before his next and final lecture.

You entered his office, you didnt need to knock anymore. He knew it was you. Students would always giggle LOUDLY outside his office before knocking. Mainly female students and you PRETENDED not to notice.

He could totally tell you noticed and were trying to hide it

You saw him tapping away on his computer, eyes lost in data.

You plopped your bag over the sofa and walked over to his desk. Kinda annoyed he hadn’t noticed you but also kinda excited because of the build up?

He had a light smile on his face, “Hello MC, i was expecting you a little lat-“ he glanced at your outfit. Boi actually halted his sentence. You were delighted.

You saw the tips of his ears turn pink. successs

he gulped and brought a hand up to his face as his eyes looked at your outfit in detail before looking you directly in the eye, a michevious look on his face, “i haven’t seen that shirt in a very long time. Have to say, it looks better on you”. He watched as you leant over the desk resting on your elbows.

“I think the thigh highs are a nice bonus” he said making it very obvious at where he was looking.

“What time is your next lecture again Luci?” You asked sweetly, leaning over to boop his nose gently.

“Actually my last lecture had to cancel due to some strange unforeseen circumstances”, he said typing the email as he spoke.

“Isn’t that lucky?” He chuckled while glancing at the office door

You gave him a brief kiss on the cheek, “very lucky”

He didn’t make it to the 3pm lecture

Gavin:

He had left some of his clothes at yours before heading out on a mission. He’d been gone for a few days but he had called and said he would be home soon. Weekends were usually spent with you waiting for gavin. He had promised he would stop going on big missions now he had something to come home to.

You kinda got bored waiting for him, because he said he’d be home today. You had told Eli that if he came back with a new bandage you were going to kill him and make him sit in a salt bath. Eli knew you weren’t joking.

You decided to pull out one of the many tshirts he had left at yours. It was an old rock n roll band tshirt. You didn’t know them too well but Gavin had liked to listen to their music every now and then. He didn’t wear it that often anymore, it was a bit too tight on him since he had bought it in his college days.

You had washed it already because you sometimes slept in it. You had been binge watching DIY youtube videos all day when you had a great idea. You really liked the look of the cut out ladder look the girl had done in her youtube video so you decided to do the same. You grabbed a pair of scissors and got to work.

You also decided to give the thsirt a little bit of a v-neck but leaving a piece around the neck for that fake choker look. You looked at your handy work and decided you really quite liked it. The back wasn’t too exposed because of the laddered look but you could always wear something underneath like a mesh top.

It came down to just lower than your thigh. You looked at yourself in the mirror. Considering it was the only piece of clothing you had on right now besides your little running shorts, you thought you looked really cute.

You spun around happy when you saw gavin staring at you COMPLETELY RED outside the window.

“Gavin!” You squealed excitedly as you went to open the window and let him in.

The wind blew underneath your dress/tshirt a little to lift it. You quickly pulled it back down.

Bird cop has stopped working

“You look...” Gavin stood in front of you staring at you. You could see there was a new scar on his neck and arm but no bleeding on any of his clothes.

“I’m so glad you’re home!” You wrapped your arms around him, breathing in his scent

He hugged you bag but went even more red - is that even possible??? - when he felt that the back was laddered and an entrance to your bare back.

“Um you look... very cute” he was now imaging you wearing all of his clothes. Boi was beetroot red someone help him.

“I could pair this with some denim shorts and it would be a date night outfit yeah?” You said taking a step back and spinning round for him

MC why u wanna make this precious boi jealous?? XD

He pulled you in for a quick kiss, “no this is just for me. You’re mine. No one else can see you looking this...” he paused as his ears started to go red again, “good”

Safe to say you didnt kill him for discovering he had several bruises across his back. BUT MC U SAID NO BANDAGES OR BLEEDING SO TECHNICALLY ITS FINE

Kiro:

You had woken up super late - like 11am - after gaming and doing other stuff.... all night. Your body still kinda hurt and ached a little... clearly from doing all of that just dance marathon stuff. If you think kiro isn’t a just dance kinda man i will fight you

The bed was more spacious than normal and you didn’t have a cute blonde cuddling up next to you. Odd. You looked over towards the bathroom but the light was off.

God what day was it? You reached over sluggishly to the bedside table and looked at your phone. It was Wednesday but thankfully you were having a week off after finishing a big project with Kiro’s help.

You had worked the hardest with the late nights and the weekends you had sacrificed. Anna and Kiki thought it was best for you to have a little holiday.

You stretched and sat up. You looked around. Kiro’s jeans were gone and phone. Maybe he had gone to the shops?

You honestly couldnt remember if had anything in his schedule today. Even though he was taking a mini holiday himself - you both timed it perfectly - he still had to do interviews here and there to make Savin happy.

You rubbed your eyes. You didn’t remember where you’re clothes from last night were but they were in NO state to wear. Clearly because of all the sweat from just dance AND NOTHING ELSE ;)

You opened Kiro’s walk in wardrobe. You lazily looked for something to just wear so that you could walk round the house, comfortable but not just nude. Kiro’s house was big and Savin had a key

You picked up a signature yellow and white tshirt that Kiro often wore to events and fan signings. It matched his hoodie but it was perfect for the warmer weather.

Boi was only a few inches taller than you so it JUST came to below your butt. You’d have to bend from the knees and not the waist. Unless you want your butt to be on show.

You found some black unused underwear and popped them on. You debated onto weather you could be bothered putting socks on or not. Then you remembered that Kiro had central floor heating so nahhhhhh

You wandered round the house looking for Kiro. Your bare feet making a gentle thudding noise across the marble floor.

You gave up home when you couldnt find him in the games room or living room so you decided to go get yourself a snack.

You walked in and froze as you saw Kiro. In front of a camera. A LIVE camera. And Savin sat just out of frame.

You just remembered that wednesday afternoons were the weekly Kiro livestreams.

KILL ME

Boi instantly caught your eye and then looked at what you were wearing - barely anything

Whatever he was saying before he was silent. Boi was SHOOKETH. He COUGHED LOUDLY and went a bright scarlet red from his neck to his face.

The livestream chat was going mental as they couldnt see you from the camera angle positioned on Kiro’s face. They were wondering what he was getting so worked up about. It was a really good job that the camera could only see from the waist up

“H-hey guys, sorry I’m gonna have to cut the livestream short.” Savin had his head in his hands, “I’m just not..” he stole another glance at you while you were trying to reach the top of the shelf where the cookies were and his tshirt lifted up higher exposing more. “I’m just not feeling too good.” He chuckled bashfully as he rubbed the back of his neck embarrassed.

The chat soon filled up with #get better soon kiro as well as #curiouskiro was trending. Some people speculated that Kiro might have a lover. The fan theories went mental.

“I’ll see you guys next week bye!” And the livestream ended. You blushed as you saw Kiro’s gaze and you crunched on your cookies while looking at the floor.

Savin got up to go and leave and sort things out for Kiro online, to make ensure his reputation wasn’t going to fall because of this unexpected situation.

“Thats my tshirt!” He said as he came over to you still red

“Yeah... and?” You mumbled a mouth full of cookies. Thats not the only thing your mouth’s gonna be full of in a minute miss chips - I’m sorry please forgive me i had to XD

“Miss chips is not allowed to look that good” he whined, “i was doing an interview, i was gonna be back in like half an hour and you looked so peaceful-“

You pressed a finger to his lips to shush him, “well we can still go back to bed now...”

SAY. NO. MORE

Boi picked u up and carried you upstairs, bridal style.

A week later you made your relationship public. At first the fans were a little upset but then soon adored you when you revealed a little of why Kiro was so blushy the previous Wednesday. #blushyboikiro was trending for a MONTH

BONUS: Shaw:

He had to rush off to his exam in the morning after promising to meet up afterwards for breakfast/lunch

This was at 8am. [bitch you aint getting out of bed at 8am on a day off? Beauty sleep is very important]

His exam was three hours long [the pain of uni exams, i get you Shaw i get you] and you woke up at 11:39

SHIT

You scrambled for your things but the night before outfit was not really brunch appropriate so you settled for something a lil more casual [and devious]

You grabbed one of his favourite tshirts which fell down to your mid thigh, and cut a slit at the bottom and safety pinned it together [ya know for that EDGY look] [i dont know what the kids are up to these days but i saw my friend do it and she’s cool so]

You grabbed ur cropped zip hoodie, put on some thigh high stockings, put on ur black boot heels from last night and you were ready to go. [you also sprayed some perfume on ur neck, wrist and garter while u were at it. LOOK SIS YOU DEVIOUS AND U KNOW THAT SHAW LIKES IT]

You rushed out the door and thankfully the subway wasnt busy and you got there just as the doors opened and the students came plodding out. You stood there with a coffee in your hand and the other one twiddling your hair in an OH so cute way. [you know how to look cute mmkay]

Several students walked out through the doors but you didnt end up seeing him. Darn you for being so short.

So you sat down on the low wall near the university’s fountain. Your little safety pin glistening in the sun and the tshirt putting your garter on show. [we like that casual but i secretly put in loads of effort kinda vibe]

You started scrolling through Moments incase he got out early but the shitty university wifi meant that it wasn’t refreshing. Furthermore the sun was shining in ur eyes so you couldnt really see much even when your phone was on full brightness

Then a tall shadow blocked the sun and you looked up and saw Shaw stood over you with a sleepy but piercing gaze.

“What are you doing wearing my Black Sabbath Tshirt?” He looked you up and down. Boi was clearly shook but he was damned if he was going to let you know this. Even though you already knew this.

“What you don’t like it? How did your exam go?” You said getting up to give him a quick hug. You knew Shaw had expressed he wasn’t a fan of physical affection but he secretly enjoyed the odd hug/hand holding or head scratch from you. Though he would never share this

“You really think you can distract me from your lazy sense of style?” He raised his eyebrows and looked you up and down again. You could see the twinkle of mischief in his eyes.

“Your rebelliousness has rubbed off onto me” [in more ways than one] you gave him a little spin raising your arms a little so that the top of the stockings and garter would come on show.

You could see that his nose went a little red along with the tips of cheeks. He coughed and placed both hands on ur arms firmly. “Let’s go get something to eat.” He swung you around so that you were now walking back to the subway, with his arm round you.

“But this is the way home...?” You started as you turned to look at his face, still walking

“Well we’re skipping straight to dessert” you could see the glint in his eyes and you allowed yourself to be lead.

Now that thsirt was his absolute favourite, especially whenever you decided to surprise him with it after an exam x

#mlqc gavin #mlqc #mlqc event #mlqc kiro #mlqc victor #mlqc lucien #mlqc mc #mlqc spoilers #mlqc dates #mlqc karma #mlqc kiki #mlqc kira #mlqc bai qi #mlqc lucien fanfic #mlqc zhou qiluo #mlqc headcanon #mlqc fandom #mlqc fanfic #mlqc react #mlqc helios #mlqc cn #mlqc eli

[loteriias-moved]

EMMETT HEADCANON 002.          HOW HE ENDED UP GETTING MAULED BY A BEAR.

As much as I love the sheer chaos that Emmett’s character brings to the table, I picked him up as a muse because I felt like he deserved more development than what Meyer brought to the table. ( Which could be said for every single character, but that’s not the point of this post! ) As far as I know, all we hear about Emmett’s death is the fact that he was attacked by a bear, and singlehandedly saved by Rosalie. A popular fan theory / meme is that it happened because he picked up a baby cub and angered its mother, but I wanted to give my man more credit than that. So yeah, with a bit more respect to the time period that he’s from, here’s what really happened because I own the canon now. 

The attack happens in 1935, which is right in the middle of the Great Depression. Countless people have lost their jobs, families are losing everything and Emmett’s is no different. The McCarty household had already lost its oldest children, with both William and Joseph leaving to take care of their own families. Emmett stayed behind after high school, intent on helping his parents and young sister, Anna, as the Great Depression had barely begun. He was able to keep his job at the railroads, making a little less than half of what he’d made in years’ prior. He didn’t complain, though, and took advantage of his shortened schedule to teach himself how to properly hunt for game. 

He kept his family fed through the tougher times, up until about halfway through 1935 where things had, yet again, taken a turn for the worst. He’d hit somewhat of a dry spell with his hunting, and his schedules at the railroad had been cut down even more. They’d gone almost a week without a decent meal, and Emmett had prepared himself for yet another search for food. He usually took down deer, but, just like before, couldn’t see any in the forests that day. He didn’t want to accept defeat, continuing his search until he came upon a black bear that hadn’t taken notice of him yet. 

It was the desperation and the hunger that caused him to try and take the shot at the animal, not taking into consideration that the bear would need significantly more firepower to be put down in one shot. The bang rang through the forest, but the bear didn’t collapse. Instead, it charged at him, and slashed him right across the chest before Emmett could get away. He fell to the ground, the bear retreating back into the depths of the forest, leaving him for dead.

Then Rosalie finds him by smelling all of the blood, and the rest is history. 

TL;DR - Emmett isn’t as much of an oblivious idiot as Meyer wrote him to be, and I’ll preach this for the rest of my life. Disrespect my man and die by my blade.

#𝟏𝟔. emmett cullen » la muerte » headcanon. #[ i have a lot of Thoughts about him on the daily ] #[ this is one of them ] #[ like trust me - i love this idiot but c m o n ] #[ there's a difference between dumbass and stupid ] #[ he isn't stupid!!!! ] #[ especially when he's got people to provide for?? his family comes before literally everyone so he wouldn't be like 'lemme put myself in #danger in the middle of an economic crisis when i'm one of the only things keeping my loved ones alive ] #[ okay i'm done ] #[ ......probably ]

[misskamelie]

"A flower is no flower”

Word count: ~3k

Characters: Lucien (plus MC mentions? In any case, it’s Lucien-centric, lol)

Warnings: It’s about hanahaki disease, so there is choking, a blood mention, and mentions of puking. Oh, also, tiny note: I wrote this before chapter 12, so I probably don’t have all the characterization down. (but I vibe with Lucien, so it should still be acceptable…?)

Summary: Lucien being his usual stoic self while refusing to ask for any kind of help and using himself as a study subject for his own research.

«Uh? Are you feeling alright, Lucien?» she turnt to him, her brows creased in worry. «Of course, why the question?» he smiled. He gulped down quietly, making sure not to show any other sign of distress.

«It’s just… You’ve been coughing a lot and I was starting to get worried.»

Ah, that expression– No, gulp down. Just a few more minutes. Lucien tightened the grip on the pen recorder in his pocket.

«It may be the pollution, I’ve been going around the city a lot for research these days.» he smoothly lied through his teeth, his expression ever so serene. Could she tell his throat was burning the more he talked to her?

Her expression relaxed for a quick moment, and the scientist didn’t fail to notice it. «Oh, okay then, but… You should be more careful, then. I don’t want you getting sick, okay?», she smiled at the end of her question.

His chest ached, but he chuckled. «Of course. I’ll take some days to rest.»

She furrowed her brows once again, this time in a more joking tone, though. «You mean you’ll lock yourself in your home or lab? You know that’s unhealthy in the long term, as well.», she shook her head.

He couldn’t help but smile more at her attitude while his pain only sharpened. It felt like having a stick through his chest. «Then I’ll make up for it by taking a walk somewhere with you.»

She blushed and hurried to look down, «U-uh, of course.»

Luckily, she noticed the time and hurried to the meeting Lucien had accompanied her to. «See you next time, then!» she waved her hand joyfully as she got out of his car.

He simply smiled back.

Once he was far enough, Lucien hurried to take out his recorder pen, starting to record after he coughed in a handkerchief and cleared his throat. «Day 35, the pain reappeared when I talked to her, this time sharper than the previous. I would say it’s almost unbearable, but if I don’t get caught in a coughing fit I can still manage. My throat is dry and there are petals of…», he looked at the elongated and slightly curved white petals in his handkerchief, «white lilies. There are traces of saliva, but not blood.»

He took a deep breath, steadying himself, «There are occasional petals of another flower, most likely camelia, colour…» he furrowed his brows as he looked at a single, rounder petal on the handkerchief. It was a weak and light colour, that much he could tell, but… «…Colour unknown», he ended the recording.

He fell back against the driver seat, closing his eyes and taking deep breaths. He needed to be aware of every symptom, no matter the pain it caused. The clearest and most persistent one, which began a little over a month before, was breathing difficulties. At first, Lucien really thought it to be a seasonal cough, but he soon turnt suspicious when it didn’t seem to disappear after a few days. It brought sensations definitely not related to a normal cold, so he began to research it and keep it tracked. It was… Interesting, all things considered. He had read studies and papers on it, but never actually researched it. Coughing up flowers? Who wouldn’t be interested in such a research topic?

It was a rather rare phenomenon, but existing nonetheless. It also seemed linked with the psych of the person suffering of it, so it was related to Lucien’s field of study. Then again, how could flowers simply… Appear in one’s lungs? Well, Lucien chuckled, he didn’t really have a right to question it seeing how, despite an apparently normal eye, he couldn’t see the colours of the world. Except when- A coughing fit hit him, forcing him to double over the steering wheel. He covered his mouth with a hand, while the other gripped onto the wheel, his knuckles whitening. His throat burnt.

Slowly, he managed to get a hold of himself, going back to taking deep, deep breaths. He cleaned the traces of saliva and flowers on his mouth. There were a few petals on his legs. Apparently, even just thinking of her was enough to cause a fit, who would have guessed? He pondered on it as he headed home. He needed time to think.

The pain wasn’t so bad. He wasn’t dead yet, so that must have meant something. Apparently, one could die from this disease, and Lucien had done his researches on all the announced and testified victims. The cause of death was usually asphyxia, which made sense since the lungs (and in a few cases even the throat) of the victims were covered in flowers and plants. Another cause of death was blood loss, because in certain cases the plant would grow in a way to pierce the lungs. This happened when the victim grew certain kinds of plants, usually with thorns. Those were the main causes of death. From what he knew so far, Lucien wasn’t much at risk for the second, and the first one usually happened after a year or more. He had some time to study it on himself.

As he entered his apartment, Lucien caught the scents of flowers. It wasn’t that unpleasant, but it was still bothersome to a certain degree. He sighed as he leaned back into a chair and skimmed through a recent article, related to the disease he was currently researching. A cure was being researched. There was a method that seemed to work, but it had a few… Heavy complications and side effects. This cure consisted in surgically removing the flowers and plants from the patient’s lungs. It made sense, Lucien reasoned, but he found it peculiar how the side effects consisted in an inescapable apathy, which would practically make the patient a living robot of sort. Of course people could ask to be cured that way, but not many chose it, for a reason or another: some fearing the apathy and others fearing the possible memory loss of the people they had known in their life.

In the evening, when he noticed his stomach grumbling (and his throat drier than usual), Lucien decided to take a quick snack. He glanced at the clock: it was almost midnight. As he wondered about his plans (precisely, all the books and things he would have better researched) while sipping on some tea, he heard movements outside his apartment. More exactly, a most likely big box crashing in the corridor. So, he placed down his cup and walked out to see what the commotion was about.

«Uh? It’s you» he smiled as he noticed his clumsy neighbour who, apparently, was also the cause of his disease. The girl laughed as she hurried to put stash of papers into a box, «Ahh, sorry, I didn’t want to disturb you!»

She hurried to get back up and bow in apology. «Don’t worry, you would never. Let me help», he walked to her side and started gathering some lost papers, «You brought unfinished work home?» «Ahah, yeah… We had a few troubles during the shooting this week and I have to check all these papers are compiled correctly. Ah, sorry–» she stopped as she brushed hands with Lucien while they were reaching for the same paper. He laughed, managing to cover a cough. He noticed she was wearing a blue necklace, the same colour of the stripes on her shirt. An idea came to him.

«Ah, thank you for bringing this in, Lucien. You always help, I don’t really know how to repay you.» «Well…» he looked around her apartment, thinking of something. «What about a payback tea?» he smiled. She blushed, «Ah! Of course! I’ll get it ready immediately!»

Her apartment smelled of flowers. He noticed a few vases on the table and one next to the entrance. She was so… pure… «In the meantime I’ll go and check a thing, is it alright by you?» he asked, a step already out of the door. «Oh, uhm… Sure», she was surprised, but she didn’t pay any more attention than that.

He used the short time by himself to take deep breaths and put a handkerchief in his pocket, a few petals on it. On his way out he closed the folder with the documents on the cure.

«Why did you choose these flowers?» Lucien nodded towards the vase on the table, containing white and pink lilies. His attention was completely consumed by the petals and their details, though. It was so painfully familiar. «Ah, Anna gifted them to me, actually!» she lighted up as she talked about it. She had the adorable habit of straightening up and opening her eyes wide shortly before talking about something she was interested in or that she liked. Her eyes seemed to have a certain sparkle to them in those moments. «Oh, really?» Lucien casually brought a hand next to the flowers, as if to caress them. The purest flowers… Shouldn’t be touched. She nodded enthusiastically, «Mm-mm. We are also having show about flowers and their meanings, so I was pretty excited when she gave them to me.»

Her laughter could be considered contagious. It was a kind of shy chuckle, as if she was self-conscious of her childish joy, and yet she was unable to help it.

«And do you know what the meaning of lilies is?» Lucien had rested his chin against his hand, his fingers barely covering his mouth when he wasn’t talking.

Her eyes sparkled once more as she took on a more confident tone. It was amazing how she could look not tired even after a whole day of work. «Yup! I know lilies are a symbol of modesty. And while pink lilies are used as a gift of admiration, white lilies are for innocence and purity!» Lucien chuckled, «Yes, but they are for funerals, aren’t they?»

She was taken back for a moment, but then answered with even more determination: «Well, yes, because we hope the dead will find peace and have their souls pure once again. They are also used for rebirth and new beginnings, like weddings.» Her soft smile left him disarmed. A itch started to annoy him, at the back of his throat. Not now, he mentally scolded himself as he quietly gulped down. He looked down at his pocket, where his handkerchief was neatly hidden.

«Lucien? Everything alright?» He saw her leaning a little towards him, her brows in a tiny, tiny crease. The itching at the back of his throat worsened. «Ah, yes. I just stopped to think about what you said. Life and death are more intertwined than we think.»

She slowly nodded, lowering her gaze as if to ponder on it. He used the occasion to take out his handkerchief, turn in the other direction, and fake (not even that much) a cough. He quickly took a look at her and then back to the piece of cloth.

Pink.

«Have you had your cough checked by a doctor?» she was worried once again. He laughed, «I am a doctor.» She puffed out her cheeks, «You–», but she didn’t know how to proceed, so she laughed. Her laughter was crystalline. How many notes he would have taken on her, given the chance. His throat itched more. It was dry and he didn’t want to talk any more than needed. Her worried expression was fascinating, but he would have liked to avoid seeing it, especially if it was caused and directed towards him.

His chest had started to burn while she talked of her day. It was like needles in his lungs. He didn’t want to be there with her, he really didn’t. But at the same time he wouldn’t have wanted to be anywhere else. Why had it started to be all about her recently? His researches involved her in a way or another, she asked for his help as a consultant for her productions, he would have passed hours just observing and chatting with her. And she liked him. That was what he had started to think. That was what her body language said. And he found himself always searching for signs which further proved his thesis.

But it wasn’t important. All that is nice always comes to an end. Much like flowers.

For some reason he was… Impatient to see how the disease would have developed. It must have been his scientific curiosity and ambition talking, but he really was impatient to record more of it. All that suffering… It would have been worth something: for science, for the future of research.

Although she would have been- he coughed more. This time he felt on the verge of puking. «Right… Excessive coughing… may cause vomit…» he slowly muttered to himself as he stood doubled over the sink in his bathroom, taking slow and careful breaths. His voice never lost his calm and controlled tone. After all, what was the point of fussing over it? Getting upset was a thing, but why bother with showing it?

In any case, his thoughts went back to what would have happened once he… Disappeared. He couldn’t really shake off the thought of her getting sad over it. He already had a habit of occasionally disappearing, even for… Well, quite long periods, but she still somehow found him. Or was it him who left himself be found by her? He would try to distance from her, but they’d always find each other in a way or another. Was it fate…?

No, he… He had a longing for her. A fascination he would have never admitted openly, limiting it to a scientific interest. As he thought of this, Lucien smeared a few traces of blood on the bottom of the sink and took a petal, turning it around his fingers. «Pink camelia, uh…»

Camelias were pretty flowers. Lucien associated them with the garden near the university during spring. And he associated pink camelias to the pink cardigan she wore when she came to visit him one spring day after one of his lectures.

Lucien closed his eyes as he rested on his couch, head thrown back and one hand through his hair. On the coffee table in front of him were all the documents he had been gathering the past month. He hoped for summer to be gone soon, so he could go back to working in his lab without many problems.

As more months passed, his condition worsened, but he had grown more resilient. There would be more blood when he coughed, and he had to vomit a few times. On the worst occasions, he needed to take up to a good hour to take back control of himself. His throat would burn so much that he struggled not to scratch at his own neck, in a vague hope to relieve the pain. He lost to the temptation one winter day, only because he reassured himself he could have covered it up with a turtleneck and a scarf. That day he met her while coming back from the lab. He hadn’t seen her in almost a month. She invited him over for dinner, but he refused, saying he had to turn in a research. Truth be told, it was a research related business, but he actually had to go visit a few people who had his same condition and offered themselves as guinea pigs.

Those people were interesting. He had them describe to him what they felt, how long had they been sick for, and what their flowers were like.

«You can’t see colours?» a young patient, only a few years older than him, commented at one point, realizing he asked the description of the petals although she had just coughed. Lucien simply smiled, «Is there any colour in the world worth seeing?» The patient shrugged. «I don’t know, I think flowers’ colours are. It’s painful but it keeps me company in the city, you know?» He had never seen it that way, but he realized he also left a few petals (the cleaner ones, at least, those untouched by his blood) around his apartment. A touch of nature among his papers and suffering.

Spring slowly arrived. And his condition, after what seemed like a brief improvement, worsened once again. He could always smell flowers everywhere he went, to the point it started to be bothersome. She noticed that once, while they briefly met in the hallway. «Have you bought a new cologne? It’s nice», she blushed and entered her apartment. He coughed and smelled blood.

When changing clothes for the day, he noticed his neck had light bruises around it, much like his chest. They were mostly scratches he had done to himself. He thought he had been restraining himself well enough, but apparently months of occasional scratching had started to take their toll. His palate and the inside of his cheeks also had signs of bruising, just barely noticeable. Now he coughed up more flowers than leaves, unlike during the winter. That was an interesting thing he had jotted down in his notes.

He was determined and diligent as ever, but spring made him… Tired. Very tired. Like all his energies were being drained.

«Day 250…», he breathed heavily, «It’s only 11 a.m. and I’m more tired that what I should be. No particular changes were made to my routine, but…» He furrowed his brows, «I have been having intermittent sleep because of occasional cough fits.»

Actually, a little more substantial change was made to his habits: he slept less than he did. Which, talking about Lucien, meant he would go even a week without a proper one night rest. He didn’t make a big deal out of it, though. He didn’t think it would have had any big repercussions on his future because he never really thought, for one reason or another, to live long enough for his lack of sleep to become a problem. He simply dived into his research and took occasional power naps to keep himself functioning.

Still, he felt tired. Which led him to his decision of taking a break during the day to take a walk in the university garden. There was no one around, which made it all the more pleasant.

250 days were a lot, he reasoned. Not that long of a time period for a scientific research, but still quite long for a person.

«Ah, the camelias are blooming.» he muttered to himself when he noticed the bushes filled to the brim with flowers. He wondered what colours they were. It looked a little more vivid than the colour of the ones he coughed, so he suspected it to be either a strong pink or some kind of red.

His step slowed down as he had more difficulties breathing, so he decided to rest nearby a tree. But while he was walking towards it, he heard new steps not far from himself. A light clacking of heels. He felt a knot in his throat, but he wouldn’t have dared to turn. He didn’t want to cough either, simply holding the handkerchief in his pocket tighter. He could have sworn of smelling metallic traces of blood along with the sweet fragrance of the flowers. He gulped down, slowly, carefully, as his step became heavier. Moving was… Getting difficult. His only thought in that moment was that he wanted, he needed to record it all.

«Lucien!»

That voice. He saw the world swirling for a moment, colours flashing in front of his eyes for the briefest instant. A sharp pain crossed his chest as he slowly turnt around, a grin on his face.

And there he saw her. Face as radiant as the sun, red camelias behind her. He took a sharp breath, his whole throat burning, he could feel the petals tickling it, as if they were supposed to soothe his pain. He felt… Light headed. No, focus, Lucien.

«Ah, I’m… I am so happy to see you.» he muttered as he tried to take a step towards her. But he couldn’t stay next to her, that was not how it was supposed to be. He took a miscalculated step and he found himself falling forward, his world crashing down. And as he smelled blood and jasmine, he heard someone shouting and hurrying somewhere. For a moment, colours were smeared everywhere, like watercolours laid down by a confused painter, then his vision blurred and his world went black.

#so here it is #it's kinda strange posting it on tumblr lol #also i wanted to put in something about poetry? but i know basically nothing about chinese poetry orz (i did decide to look into it though) #mlqc #mr love queen's choice #mlqc lucien #mlqc fanfic #hanahaki disease #uhhhh what else do i tag #my writing

[fire-emblem-heroes-supports]

Julius/Eir C-S Support

Written by @lilythelitten

C SUPPORT

[Eir is wandering through the gardens, humming to herself.]

Eir: Hmm-hm-hmm, hm-hmm… 

Eir: Ah…it’s so peaceful here…I could just forget all about the war… Hm? 

Julius: … 

Eir: Prince Julius?

[She approaches him from behind and taps him on the shoulder.]

Julius: GYAH!

[Startled, he smacks her across the face.]

Eir: …ow. 

Julius: O-oh! Eir! Sorry, I just— I didn’t— 

Eir: No, it’s fine. I’ll be okay. Thank you for apologizing. 

Julius: Um…you’re welcome. 

Eir: Though I do wonder…why are you here? 

Julius: Huh? Oh, uh…I just came here to…clear my thoughts. Get fresh air. Think about things, and…get to be me. 

Eir: Hm? 

Julius: Ah, it’s nothing, just…ignore the last point. I…I should go.  

Eir: But— 

Julius: See you at the march, Eir.

[Julius walks away.]

Eir: Hm…

[Julius and Eir have reached support rank C.]

B SUPPORT

Eir: Hello again, Prince Julius. 

Julius: You’re here tonight too?! 

Eir: Of course. I come here every night. I suppose you do too? 

Julius: Ah…only recently. 

Eir: I see. Well, I wanted to speak with you anyway. 

Julius: About what? 

Eir: What you mentioned last night. I must admit, I am fascinated by you. In battle, you seem so cruel…and yet here we are now, having a pleasant conversation. 

Julius: I-I…er…well— 

Eir: Perhaps I should tell you why I come here. Will that…ah, what does Anna say…“loosen your tongue”? 

Julius: I-I hope not! I like my tongue where it is. 

Eir: I will avoid that the best I can, then. *ahem* When I was a little girl, my mother Hel would kill me every day. 

Julius: ! She WHAT?! 

Eir: Yes. I was not a beloved child. Honestly, I am not quite sure why I was born at all. My early life was merely “die, return to life the next day, die again, return to life, repeat ad infinitum”. I feel more like a walking corpse than a person, really. 

Julius: … 

Eir: You are lucky. I’ve spoken with your mother a few times, and she seems like a kind person. She must’ve loved you the way my mother did not. 

Julius: …I never…I never thought of myself as lucky. 

Eir: Hm? 

Julius: And not just because… Well, I thought that loving, happy families were normal. 

Julius: Then I came here, and…no, turns out everyone’s parents are abusive, or dead, or both. There is…little familial love, in this order. 

Julius: *muttering* So how on Earth are they the normal ones? 

Eir: Hm? 

Julius: U-um, nothing. Got to go. Bye.

[He quickly leaves again.]

Eir: Why won’t you open up to me?

[Julius and Eir have reached support rank B.]

A SUPPORT

Eir: Julius. 

Julius: Aaaaand she’s back. 

Eir: You’ve been avoiding me. Did I say something wrong in the garden? 

Julius: Um…no, it’s just… 

Julius: Eheh…confession time, you’re the first person to see this side of me in…years, I think. No, more like the first person to see me. Not Loptous. 

Eir: Your book? 

Julius: And also an Earth Dragon living in my head that takes control in battle and influences me out of battle. He’s…not the nicest person in the world. 

Eir: Hm. I see. Then we are both similar. 

Julius: Wait, you’ve also— 

Eir: Not quite like that. Sure, we have both had our lives changed by dragons. Me with my many lives, you with your possession. But I am saying that we…are both very weird. 

Julius: … 

Eir: Did I say something wrong— 

Julius: *stifling giggles* No, it’s just— That’s it? Not some kind of startling revelation that shows how we could’ve been exactly the same were it not for one small difference? Just that we’re both…weird? 

Eir: You yourself wondered why the other heroes were so normal. Remember?

Julius: …Yeah, I do. Everyone’s royalty, or magic, or fought dragons, or are dragons…but none of them have let it affect them. 

Julius: I feel so out of place. 

Eir: So do I. I have heard [y/n] use the term “square pegs in round holes” to describe when something just doesn’t fit in. Perhaps that is us. 

Julius: Heh…square pegs in a round world. 

Eir: Our allies: our fellow squares. And maybe a few circles, here or there. 

Julius: Square pegs, unite! 

Eir: Unite!

[Julius and Eir have reached support rank A.]

S SUPPORT

Julius: E…Eir? 

Eir: Yes? 

Julius: I, um…want to talk. In private. 

Eir: Then let’s go to the garden.

[They do that.]

Eir: So…what did you want to talk about? 

Julius: …I, um, didn’t think I’d get this far. Erm…okay. Ahem. 

Julius: In the past few days, I’ve opened up to you more than I have with my own family in years. I know you better than I know my own siblings. And I think we have more in common than I’ve ever had with…anyone. 

Eir: Isn’t it a lovely coincidence that the two strangest fish in the sea found each other for company? 

Julius: Yeah, yeah, that’s…cool. Ahem. Okay, so, what I want to know is…do you like me? 

Eir: Of course. We’re friends, after all. 

Julius: No, I mean like… like me like me. Do…do you…love me? 

Eir: What made you think other— Wait, what?  

Julius: Because…I do. I’ve fallen for you, and…do you…want to get marri— 

Eir: Wait! Waaaaaait waitwaitwait! Slow down! It’s been a week! You just confessed! 

Julius: Well…I mean, everyone else instantly got married after admitting their feelings. 

Eir: Yes, well…we’re not like everyone else. In this one thing, we’re normal. 

Eir: …actually, if everyone else is doing it, then it must be normal. We’re still the odd ones, I guess. 

Julius: *snickers* Honestly, the scariest proposition I could make is that everyone else is crazy, and we’re the perfectly normal ones! 

Eir: *giggling* Us? Normal? Perish the thought, blasphemer, lest thou be named a traitor to the Square Cause!

[They both burst into giggling fits. After a while, Julius recovers.]

Julius: I get it, I get it. We’ll take things slow. How about dinner? 

Eir: I know a good place in town. 

Julius: Alright! So. Meet up tomorrow? 

Eir: Wouldn’t have it any other way.  

Julius: Great! …I’ll, um, see you around, Eir. 

Eir: You too, Julius.

[Julius and Eir have reached support rank S.]

#fire emblem genealogy of the holy war #male and female heroes #julius #eir #julius x eir #submission

[gotatext]

PREFERRED NAME — nora. i think i started going by it in like, 2009?? my full name is eleanor but i hated it n thought it was way too pretentious n i never felt like it fitted me so when i started writing on forums i decided i’d be a nora rather than eleanor and then my school friends called me it and it just kinda stuck, the only person who calls me eleanor is my mum

PRONOUNS — she / her / ethereal being beyond comprehension

AGE — 23 but i tell everyone im 21 because even tho time is literally fake im desperately clinging to that fleeting thing we call youth trying to catch it like smoke in my hands

PINTEREST — i actually have two. this one is my main one where i just cram all my shit n i’ve had it for years and some of its super unorganised. then i also have this one which is one i made for exclusively female characters. it started as mythological figures but now its like, women in literature and the occasional oc as well. variety is the spice of life!

DISCORD — lindsay lohan’s meth#8664

TUMBLR (PERSONAL/MUSE/RPH) — i used to be froseths but now im pvrscphones cos ya gal is a fucking whore for mythology 

OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE — oi oi guvna ere’s me twitta. also here’s my letterboxd n my goodreads if anyone still uses tht

MYER-BRIGGS — enfp / infp border .... the classic profile of a lit student

HP HOUSE — hufflepuff, am fuckin mad. 

ZODIAC — libra which is a joke because i am in no way balanced but i guess i AM indecisive and a peacekeeper so?

DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY? — i believe it when it says good shits gonna happen in my life and blame it if bad shit happens but i don’t strongly follow it i just find it interesting

HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU STARTED RPING ON TUMBLR — maybe like 14?? my first rp blog here is literally so embarassing i wrote as clove from the hunger games n my best friend irl wrote cato :/ it was wild

WHAT YEAR WAS IT? — like 9 years ago?? 2010 maybs

NAME A RANDOM ROLEPLAY THAT STICKS OUT IN YOUR MEMORY — me n my friend ellie made this really cool group the summer before we left for uni which was loosely based on a concept mentioned mayb once in the divergent series, but it gave us loads of freedom to make it our own thing. it was called the fringe n it was like..... this dystopian society where people with different genes were cut off from the rest of society n lived in overrun slum cities where different groups had like, a monopoly over weapons, produce, etc.... my character jack was the leader of this lost-boy-esque tribe called the wolf pack who were hunters n used to run across the rooftops wearing the skins of animals they’d killed and engage in tribal rituals with sacrifices to the gods n shit. sounds lame but everyone there was so invested in their character arcs that it was a shame to see it go. but ! it kind of reached its end point so we blew it up w nukes n they all died. tragic.

WHAT WEIRD ANIMAL WOULD YOU HAVE AS A PET IF IT WAS REALISTIC — a fox?? do ppl keep foxes? idk i’ve always just felt a sense of connection w them like when a fox stares at me im like this shit is life i am living and breathing in this bitch.... visceral

NAME THE FIRST SONG ON YOUR DISCOVER WEEKLY ON SPOTIFY OR THE FIRST SONG THAT COMES ON APPLE MUSIC / ITUNES SHUFFLE — everbody party tonight by cobra man n summer girl by haim..... not my usual stuff but big summer chillin vibes,.....

NAME A BOOK THAT YOU READ IN SCHOOL THAT YOU SURPRISINGLY LIKED — lord of the flies and also the handmaid’s tale. one of assignments was to write a chapter from another character’s perspective n i chose moira

NAME A BOOK YOU HATED THAT MOST PEOPLE LIKED — skellig. fuck off with ur asprin ugly bat man i don’t care. also of mice and men. don’t care about the rabbits or curley’s goddamn wife.

WHAT TV SHOW DID YOU RECENTLY BINGE? — im not a big binger bc i find it jst makes me depressed if i watch tv all day but im nearly finished stranger things season 3 n i recently finished euphoria (big rec but proceed w caution as quite triggering content)

FAVOURITE QUOTE — cool girl speech from gone girl. but also “there’s something dangerous about the boredom of teenage girls” i know its like.... such an overused quote but it really encapsulates this kind of feral girlhood that a few of my characters like bridget n greta have tapped into. i also loved the line “i feel like i could eat the world raw” from song of achilles, that really captures this kind of.... pure n childlike enthusiasm tht i wanna achieve w rory 

LINK TO A VINE THAT EXUDES YOUR ‘ENERGY’ — this is my energy completely am always covered in glitter n staring broodily out of the windows of ubers at 4am like im in the sad bit of an indie film 

DO YOU WRITE OUTSIDE OF RP? WHAT DO YOU WRITE? — uhh.... not as much as i shd.... i want to be a writer so i shd be makin some effort to get my stuff Out Into The World but im just not.... lol. ive done a lot of poetry collections . i wnt to finish a novel @ some point too.

THREE YOUTUBERS YOU STILL TRUST — bold of you to assume i trust any youtubers

A CELEBRITY CRUSH THAT JUST WON’T QUIT — id literally die for saoirse ronan n timothee chalamet :/ chance perdomo also owns my ass. 

EVER MEET A CELEBRITY? SHARE YOUR STORY — i once high-fived dani harmer, the actress who played tracy beaker. today my sister text me tryin to make me guess what celebrity she just saw on holiday in wales and for ages she let me think it was timmothee but it was actually bradley walsh from the chase :/

WHAT’S YOUR PICTURE-PERFECT NIGHT? — i am in a bomb ass crop top and mini skirt, several scrunchies in my hair, glitter all over my face, wearing cowboy boots. we eat dinner in a trendy but affordable pub that doubles up as a cocktail bar n then we drink zombies or sex on the beaches n go to a rave where everyone is on the same wavelength n i share drugs with girls in the toilets and we swap numbers knowing we will never text each other but its ok bc in that moment we feel like we are soulmates and everyone is super drunk n touching everyone else n its all very visceral and we walk through the woods when the rave ends and lie in the grass because we wish to suck out all the marrow of life 

A CONSPIRACY THEORY YOU KINDA BELIEVE IN — princess diana was murdered 

ARE ALIENS REAL? — maybe the real aliens are the friends we made along the way

PLAY ANY PHONE GAMES? WHICH ONES? — love island game im addicted and way too invested in my fictional relationship with bobby, a cartoon

WHAT’S A FILM YOU LOVED WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG AND RECENTLY WATCHED, ONLY TO FIND OUT YOU DON’T ANYMORE — bold of u to assume i remember my childhood. but if we’re talking last 10 years angust, thongs n perfect snogging is so so cringe 

DO YOU COLLECT ANYTHING? — pairs of glasses belonging to other ppl when they break / get new ones even though i can see perfectly well. 

WHAT’S SOMETHING YOU WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT BUT YOU’RE TOO LAZY? — mythology...... always a craving and a wish i’d read like ancient texts but my school wasn’t good enough to do greek or latin or any of that shit n even tho i could read english translations i cant be bothered. also criminal psychology

THREE LANGUAGES YOU DON’T SPEAK, BUT WISH YOU COULD — italian, french and latin

MOVIE YOU’VE WATCHED MORE THAN 5 TIMES — ladybird, about time, angus thongs, shrek 2, what we do in the shadows, the history boys, atonement, coraline, the breakfast club, ferris bueller’s day off

NAME A FICTIONAL CHARACTER FROM TV/FILM/MOVIE/GAME/BOOK THAT YOU FIND YOURSELF PROJECTING ON / YOU RELATE TO — cecilia lisbon. rue in euphoria. alison brie in glow. adam parrish in the raven cycle. richard papen. olivia cooke’s character in thoroughbreds. allen ginsberg in kill your darlings. lily in sex education. holliday grainger’s character in the film animals --- i too am an aspiring writer who never writes and just gets drunk instead .

DO YOU FOLLOW ANY SPORTS? WHO DO YOU ROOT FOR? — no. cba

HOBBIES BESIDES WASTING AWAY HERE? — i go to the movies basically every day bcos i work in a cinema. im also a voracious reader n i occasionally do theatre or costume making

PLUG A TV SHOW / MOVIE / BOOK / VIDEO GAME / ETC… YOU WISH MORE PEOPLE WOULD CHECK OUT — where the wild things are (film by spike jonze).  animals. beats. the book fen by daisy johnson and a girl is a half formed thing by eimar mcbride. andy warhol’s biography from a to b and back again

WHOSE BRAIN WOULD YOU LIKE TO PICK, ALIVE OR DEAD? — phoebe waller-bridge on how i get her life. carey mulligan on how she got to be such a good actress n how i can become her. maybs wes anderson. maybs gillian flynn. i tend to listen to podcasts w the ppl i really wanna pick the brains of.

TEAM EDWARD OR JACOB? — edward :/

LAST MOVIE SEEN IN THEATRE — blinded by the light n i lovd it

DO YOU STILL READ? — when i finished uni i kinda got out of the habit but this week i finished two books so ive set myself the challenge of a book a week.

IF SO, WHAT ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING? — i finished song of achilles yesterday n i also finished call me by your name yesterday. started circe by madeline miller today, im also partway through milkman by anna burns and the plays of annie barker

ON A SCALE OF 1-10, HOW MUCH DID YOU HATE FILLING THIS OUT? – 3 i didnt hate it bcos at heart i am self-indulgent and love fashioning some sense of self when i feel lost in a world that is scary and constantly changing 

#wshedtask002

[verycorrectlotr]

Hello! First off, I'm so sorry about that rude anon, and you're absolutely right that they should fuck right off. Second, I was wondering if you have any LOTR blog recommendations? I'm somewhat new to the fandom and I find it difficult to gauge if a blog is still active or not :') P.S. you're awesome and I love your art

pretty much anyone i reblog from tbh; i made a post here a while ago but to explain in more depth:

@actuallyfeanor, one of my favourite blogs!! which is saying something because i have zero context for half their content asjdfs. general silm quality posts.

@arofili, a lot of great content! gifsets, character discussions, meta, it’s all here

@cowboylegolas, on hiatus currently but their existing content is so goddamn funny

@earendil-was-a-mariner , please i’m begging you follow this blog it will make you smile and laugh every time you see a post

@eowynmorelikegayowyn , i love this blog not only for the url but also because of the Gay Lotr Posts TM, which are of course a staple here at tolkien tumblr

@femmefaramir, if you like my blog theirs is mine but better and more on track with their content filtering ashjdfkd nic is one of my Most Beloved Mutuals follow them hhh

@femmegimli, i’d die for femmegimli honestly,, you can tell just from the url that the posts are going to be quality

@finwe-the-disappointed , another one i’d die for!!! a wonderful human being, silm posts obviously but also general lotr shenanigans.

@gaybaggins, you gotta follow her. u have to. it’s law.

@gizmojio, i would do anything for gizmojio!! charly if ur reading this ilu. they reblog lotr things with fantastic tag commentary, and also make amazing art at @gizmojioart

@goddesspeggycarter , amloth has a wonderful mix of lotr, marvel, and queen (the band, not the monarch of the uk) content and tbh i love her

@imboromired, i die laughing or sob over boromir’s death every time i open this blog

@penny-anna, if you like lotr and you dont follow this blog wyd,, fantastic hobbity discussions and headcanons,, potential dialogue that jirt wishes he had put into the books 

@silmaspens, my jaw drops every time i open this art blog,, mostly silm art with a dash of other tolkien content,,, if you aren’t going to follow at least go marvel at their recent feanorian week special. please, if you only do one thing all day!!! go look at their blog!!

@thotlegolas , ten out of ten always makes me laugh (good elf content if ur into elves)

@tolkien-fantasy, a really sweet blog!! if you’re looking for heartwarming content her imagines and headcanons are a fantastic remedy for bleakness

@tolkienhoe, ,,, the url says it all sdljfdls i love this blog

@wlwhobbits , honestly just a superb lotr blog

in addition:

@disasterbipippin, god i love this blog it’s alternately funny, heartwarming, and frogs

@art-of-a-diffrent-color, wonderful art and lotr blog who id take a bullet for actually

@cowboyeowyn , a hilarious blog, i always end up wheezing when i open it sjfsd

@essenceofarda , amazing art, headcanons, general humour, this blog has it all, i definitely recommend

@boromirthedad, splendid tag commentary and an absolutely galaxy brain url

@mirkwoodest, a blog that makes you think and laugh at the same time

there are so many more that i follow but this post is getting really long so!! i think you should encounter them through the blogs listed here

tagged blogs don’t feel obliged to respond to this; this is probably like my third post about this sjhsdf. instead, just know that i love you all with my entire being

#recommended lotr blogs #from now on i wont make new posts i promise guys i'll just link this one ajdksdf and add some more

[awkward-toshinori]

Hey Yo, can I get all 200 asks for the ask meme thing? Please and thank you!

Absolutely

200: My crush’s name is:

Horia

199: I was born in:

Romania

198: I am really:

friendly and trustworthy

197: My cellphone company is:

Digi

196: My eye color is:

Aqua Blue

195: My shoe size is:

7,5

194: My ring size is:

20?? hell if i know tbh

193: My height is:

5′7

192: I am allergic to:

nothing

191: My 1st car was:

I can’t drive yet!!

190: My 1st job was:

No jobs yikes :c

189: Last book you read:

Sword of Destiny!!

188: My bed is:

messy and full of plushies

187: My pet:

no pets but ahh  my baby plant

186: My best friend:

I’ve got tons of them and I’m pretty sure they know themselves

185: My favorite shampoo is:

ah I don’t really have any preferences

184: Xbox or ps3:

*big gasp* ps3

183: Piggy banks are:

They’re superb but I would feel so bad about wrecking one

182: In my pockets:

Glasses tissues

181: On my calendar:

uh there’s nothing noted yet

180: Marriage is:

Something quiet amazing and lovely, at least from my point

179: Spongebob can:

aww man I don’t watch spongebob

178: My mom:

is shorther than me, that’s for sure

177: The last three songs I bought were?

I didn’t buy any songs but I did buy albums and the last three I bought I suppose were Aenima by tool, Portrait of An American Familly by Marilyn Manson and Slipknot by Slipknot, I think

176: Last YouTube video watched:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4q9UafsiQ6k

175: How many cousins do you have?

2 or 3 I think

174: Do you have any siblings?

Yes, one

173: Are your parents divorced?

nope

172: Are you taller than your mom?

yes B)

171: Do you play an instrument?

Not yet but I’m planning on getting a bass so

170: What did you do yesterday?

I went to a cool concert

169: Love at first sight:

not rlly

168: Luck:

nope

167: Fate:

also no

166: Yourself:

no *oops doopsie I’m sorry*

165: Aliens:

yes

164: Heaven:

nah

163: Hell:

no

162: God:

nopety

161: Horoscopes:

not really

160: Soul mates:

hmm  a bit

159: Ghosts:

no

158: Gay Marriage:

157: War:

not really

156: Orbs:

not really  :/

155: Magic:

no but I find it interesting154: Hugs or Kisses:

hugs

153: Drunk or High:

I personally wouldn’t go for any of those but drunk ig

152: Phone or Online:

online

151: Red heads or Black haired:

black haired

150: Blondes or Brunettes:

ah, blondes

149: Hot or cold:

cold

148: Summer or winter:

winter

147: Autumn or Spring:

spring

146: Chocolate or vanilla:

vanilla

145: Night or Day:

night

144: Oranges or Apples:

oranges

143: Curly or Straight hair:

straight

142: McDonalds or Burger King:

McDonalds

141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate:

White Chocolate

140: Mac or PC:

PC

139: Flip flops or high heals:

flip flops

138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor:

sweet and poor tbh

137: Coke or Pepsi:

coke

136: Hillary or Obama:

Obama??!!

135: Burried or cremated:

cremated

134: Singing or Dancing:

singing

133: Coach or Chanel:

coach

132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks:

I uh, none

131: Small town or Big city:

big city

130: Wal-Mart or Target:

I had never went to one though Wal-Mart

129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler:

Adam Sandler

128: Manicure or Pedicure:

Manicure

127: East Coast or West Coast:

East Coast

126: Your Birthday or Christmas:

Christmas

125: Chocolate or Flowers:

flowers

124: Disney or Six Flags:

disney

123: Yankees or Red Sox:

Yankees

122: War:

I uh personally don’t agree with them and uh dunno

121: George Bush:

Don’t have one yet

120: Gay Marriage:

I find it lovely but too sad it’s not legal here so

119: The presidential election:

Quiet stinky as in no good choices

118: Abortion:

See this topic rips itself in two, if it’s intentionally done I personally think it’s the worst thing to do but that someone can do whatever they want, it’s their body after all, though if it happens and it’s not intended just, big sad react

117: MySpace:

I don’t have an opinion on it

116: Reality TV:

I don’t really watch it nor like it

115: Parents:

I would’ve appreciated if my parents showed me more support and love but not that I have anything against our type of relationship at the moment so

114: Back stabbers:

I totally not like them so I choose to cut contact with them 

113: Ebay:

It’s fine till now

112: Facebook:

I’m not a big fan of Facebook

111: Work:

If it’s something I love, it makes me feel good but if it’s not it kind of brings a feeling of uneasy and frustration to me

110: My Neighbors:

They’re chill, the baby and the puppy are my favorites 

109: Gas Prices:

kinda shitty here

108: Designer Clothes:

They can design what they want however they want, this is not really a topic of interest for me

107: College:

I can’t wait to get to it ngl

106: Sports:

Not one of my interests but they do look fun

105: My family:

I tolerate them easily but yeah I love them

104: The future:

Other than that I’m scared as hell regarding the future? nah

103: Hugged someone:

Eh!! Today!!

102: Last time you ate:

7 hours ago??

101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile:

Oh last week I think

100: Cried in front of someone:

U H, yesterday

99: Went to a movie theater:

last thursday

98: Took a vacation:

last Christmas

97: Swam in a pool:

last summer

96: Changed a diaper:

never tbh

95: Got my nails done:

OH, it’s been ages since I’ve done that

94: Went to a wedding:

4 years ago

93: Broke a bone:

never nyehehe B)

92: Got a peircing:

I don’t have any but planning on getting some

91: Broke the law:

never

90: Texted: 

minutes ago

89: Who makes you laugh the most:

tbh, my friends

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is:

my stuff but mostly my baby plant

87: The last movie I saw:

Captain MArvel

86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most:

finishing high school

85: The thing im not looking forward to:

Missing upcoming opportunities

84: People call me:

Satana(I have the perferct explanation)

83: The most difficult thing to do is:

talk in servers or groups tbh

82: I have gotten a speeding ticket:

Oh I’d feel terrible and embarassed tbh

81: My zodiac sign is:

LEo

80: The first person i talked to today was:

my boyfriend

79: First time you had a crush:

in 5th grade

78: The one person who i can’t hide things from:

My boyfriend.. because he knows when something’s up with me or if something’s not good

77: Last time someone said something you were thinking:

hmmm weeks ago I think

76: Right now I am talking to:

@angelwings-234

75: What are you going to do when you grow up:

be a programmer 

74: I have/will get a job:

I hope to get one as a programmer in the future (though hell If I know what exactly yet)

73: Tomorrow:

I’ll probably hope for school to end faster just so I can nap

72: Today:

I haven’t done much tbh

71: Next Summer:

Will be so busy and I’m so not up to it

70: Next Weekend:

I’ll be going to a cool ass contest

69: I have these pets:

I have a baby plant!!!

68: The worst sound in the world:

static noise

67: The person that makes me cry the most is:

myself?? sounds a bit edgy

66: People that make you happy:

all the close friends in my life and some artists along with stuff I enjoy a lot

65: Last time I cried:

yesterday

64: My friends are:

There are too many to list them but luv them all

63: My computer is:

full of games that I’m probably not going to finish in the following 2 months

62: My School:

kinda sucks when it comes to students

61: My Car:

does not exist yet

60: I lose all respect for people who:

who are rude and big mean bags of shit?? I could detail this but dunno

59: The movie I cried at was:

Interstellar 

58: Your hair color is:

blonde

57: TV shows you watch:

SOA, Gotham when my bf watches it and I don’t really like TV shows though I have some on my waiting list

56: Favorite web site:

https://www.pbinfo.ro/

55: Your dream vacation:

just, somewhere around a forest, it’d be quiet lovely ngl

54: The worst pain I was ever in was:

tooth pain

53: How do you like your steak cooked:

a bit raw tbh

52: My room is:

ass messy as me

51: My favorite celebrity is:

uhhh Corey Taylor

50: Where would you like to be:

Right now?? At my bf, if it wouldn’t bother him..

49: Do you want children:

ABsolutely

48: Ever been in love:

still am ig

47: Who’s your best friend:

I have too many but love them all so much

46: More guy friends or girl friends:

I have more guy friends apparently 

45: One thing that makes you feel great is:

achieving something

44: One person that you wish you could see right now:

All of my best-friends tbh

43: Do you have a 5 year plan:

I do

42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die:

Not yet and I doubt I’d do it

41: Have you pre-named your children:

me and my bf came up with some names but who knows

40: Last person I got mad at:

My bf i think

39: I would like to move to:

another city in my country, a much bigger one

38: I wish I was a professional:

artist

37: Candy:

Haribo

36: Vehicle:

Renault or Dacia

35: President:

don’t really have one

34: State visited:

I haven’t been to any at all

33: Cellphone provider:

Digi

32: Athlete:

I don;t have one yikes

31: Actor:

Hmm Benicio Del Toro

30: Actress:

I like some but I don’t have a favorite one

29: Singer:

Peter Steele, his voice is simply, lovely

28: Band:

Ohhh anon Tool and Cargo atm

27: Clothing store:

I don’t have a fav one

26: Grocery store:

any??

25: TV show:

Sons Of Anarchy

24: Movie:

The Alien trilogy

23: Website:

Twitter I think

22: Animal:

Cat

21: Theme park:

I don’t really have one

20: Holiday:

Christmas

19: Sport to watch:

ski jumping

18: Sport to play:

Volleyball I think

17: Magazine:

Don’t have one

16: Book:

The Shinning

15: Day of the week:

Saturdays

14: Beach:

Don’t really like beaches

13: Concert attended:

Truda’s concert for moment but I suppose Disturbing’s going ro replace it or maybe Cannibal Corpse, who knows

12: Thing to cook:

Pudding

11: Food:

Noodles or cremeschnitte

10: Restaurant:

One called Anna

9: Radio station:

don’t have one

8: Yankee candle scent:

dreamy summer nights

7: Perfume:

men’s one are my favorite, gotta admit it

6: Flower:

ORchids

5: Color:

purple and black

4: Talk show host:

don’t have one

3: Comedian:

A romanian one, can’t remember his name

2: Dog breed:

German Shepherd, American Eskimo, Border Collie, Golden Retriever, Siberian HUsky there are too many I can’t choose only one

1: Did you answer all these truthfully?

yes I did it oh god

[dreamss-of-boston]

Rise - ch6

hoo boy this chapter is hella long! i had fun writing it tho, the scenery looks v pretty in my head! the songs in this chapter are traditional germanic folk songs which i thought fit the world pretty well considering aot/snk is supposedly set in a germanic sort of historical world?? or thats what i heard,, pls correct me if im wrong! (i got the english translations for these songs from this website) additionally, the song i envision dimitri playing after the folk songs is andalucia in d major-- while its a spanish song, i just love it so much! you can listen to it here. and i promise all of the new characters introduced are relevant to the overall story! and now i promise i will shut up hehe ok thank u for reading love u bye!

-the spark-

link on AO3!

“I don’t understand why I had to pack four days’ worth of clothes.” Sonya commented as she got into the carriage with Hange and Moblit. After a full day of cleaning the stables and the showers as her punishment for getting cheeky with Captain Levi, Sonya was very sore and rather cranky that she had to leave her cozy HQ to spend at least two days in the capitol.

“The MPs and Parliament like to drag their feet when it comes to making decisions,” Hange sighed as she sat opposite Sonya, and Moblit took his seat beside Hange. “It’s always best to be prepared and pack more than you might need-- I found that out the hard way when they delayed approving Erwin’s new navigation system. We were only supposed to be there three days, but it took them a week and a half to decide!”

“A week and a half?!” Sonya exclaimed in dismay.

“Don’t worry-- the first day will be easy. It’s kind of a buffer.” Moblit assured her. “We’ll get settled in at their HQ in the guest quarters, and then meet with the officials around dinner time.”

“The real adventure comes tomorrow,” Hange said excitedly, “When we can debate the issue in front of Darius Zackly. He has the ultimate verdict on whether we can go ahead with the mission or not.”

“Since this is so monumental,” Moblit added, “representation for all three branches of military will be there. There’ll be some new recruits there, too, who were from your class-- so you won’t be completely alone.” He said helpfully.

Sonya nodded, looking out the window of the carriage at the rising sun. It was always so beautiful seeing the pastel blue and yellow the sky turned as the world awoke-- she only wished she could see the sun rise without the walls being in the way.

“How long will it take for us to get there?” She asked.

“Hm, just over three hours.” Hange said, leaning back into her seat. “Perfect for a nap.”

“She can sleep anywhere.” Moblit chuckled, and Sonya smiled. Her mood was slightly lifted despite the fact that she had to be awoken at four in the fucking morning to pack and get ready to leave. She did feel a bit comforted that when they arrived, they wouldn’t jump straight into court and start debating. Sonya decided that Hange had the right idea, and she settled down as best she could in an attempt to sleep on the way there.

[-]

“Oi, wake up, brat.”

Sonya made a face of utter disgust as she woke from her nap-- she was slumped against the side of the carriage, and as she opened her eyes, she first saw Levi, leaning against the opening of the carriage, pulling his hand away from gently slapping her cheek to wake her. Behind him, the sun was shining and Hange and Moblit were laughing.

“Wow, you sleep even deeper than Hange!” Moblit exclaimed. “We were practically yelling at you to wake up.”

“Did you not sleep at all last night?” Hange joked as Sonya just about fell out of the carriage, gripping Levi’s arm for support-- which he allowed, much to Moblit’s surprise.

“I slept just fine-- I just had an exhausting day yesterday on account of me being a dumbass.” Sonya sighed, looking at Levi pitifully. She thought she saw the beginnings of a smile on his lips, but he just scoffed and went to join Erwin in grabbing their things from the separate carriage they had ridden in.

The Survey Corps soldiers were escorted to their rooms-- Hange and Sonya were sharing a room, of course, and while this was all routine to the veterans, to Sonya, it was as if she had stepped into a castle.

The rooms were huge, first of all, and the bathroom had two sinks and a shower! The beds were incredibly soft-- Sonya wanted to sink into hers the moment she sat on it.

“Maybe staying here for a while won’t be that bad.” She sighed contentedly, stretching out luxuriously on the bed, her shirt hiking up and exposing part of her waist.

Hange laughed, dropping her bag of belongings on the floor before entering the bathroom to wash her hands.

Levi came to the doorway, knocking on the open door to make his presence known. Sonya looked to her left, and smiled mischievously when she noticed his gaze inadvertently trailed over her exposed skin.

“Did you want something, Captain?” She asked, dripping her voice in sarcastic seduction. Levi rolled his eyes, and seemed to refuse to look at her again as he spoke to both her and Hange.

“We’re meeting with them in about thirty minutes.” He said, and pointedly avoided Sonya’s gaze as he turned and left their room. Hange hollered confirmation that she got his message from the bathroom, and Sonya smiled to herself-- it was too much fun messing with Levi.

The four Survey Corps members met with the group of MPs in yet another beautiful room, with huge, framed paintings that Sonya couldn’t take her eyes off of. They discussed the pros and cons of the mission, the ground rules for the debate tomorrow, what time it would take place, and all that. The room seemed to be filled with tension, although Sonya could not understand why; but she could only guess that there was some sort of unspoken history between the three veteran Survey Corps soldiers and the three veteran MPs. The MP who had been part of Sonya’s class was called Olive Hammerstein-- a blonde, stuffy girl who Sonya remembered to be a sore loser. She hardly gave Sonya the time of day when they all entered the room at the start of the meeting; Sonya smugly suspected it was because she had beaten Olive all four times they had trained hand-to-hand.

When the meeting finally ended and all the logistics were out of the way, the sun had set and it was time for dinner. As the soldiers headed to the dining hall, they passed some MPs out of uniform who shrewdly reminded them that it was the weekend, and the dining hall was not open for dinner on the weekend. They were in civilians clothes because they were headed out to town to eat, much to the irritation of the Survey Corps soldiers.

“Well, there is that tavern in town we always used to visit-- what was it called, again?” Hange said.

“The Whistling Wind.” Erwin nodded with a smile.

“Mm, their soup is to die for!” Moblit sighed happily; and so it was decided. Sonya was particularly excited, and as she and Hange changed into their civilian clothes, she confessed that she had never been to a tavern above ground before.

“Really?” Hange exclaimed. “Oh, wow-- well, you’re in for a real treat. Taverns in the interior are the best.”

And off they went-- and soon they arrived at the fabled Whistling Wind.

The tavern was lit rather brightly, with candles littering the tables and hung upon the walls and from the ceiling in crude chandeliers. Sonya, in spite of herself, didn’t even attempt to hide her joy at the sight before her; even the taverns above ground were beautiful. During her training, she had never really gotten the chance to explore any towns much. When she and Anna did get the chance to venture off training grounds, it was usually to just retrieve supplies for the troops, so they didn’t get to explore the towns that much-- but they did explore the woods on the way.

It seemed as if everyone in the world were packed inside of the huge space, drinking wine out of goblets, laughing loudly and sharing in the gossip of the town. The smell of cigarette smoke hung in the air heavily, and spills and stains littered the wooden floor beneath her feet, but it was all so romantic to the small soldier. Here was life-- not survival, but thriving life.

She turned to Hange excitedly. “Is this how taverns are everywhere up here?”

“Oh, not really.” Hange said as their group made their way to a table that was unoccupied. “Most of the taverns near HQ are… eh, less high-class, I guess you could say.”

“Evenin’, folks.” A voluptuous red-headed barmaid came up to their table, hand on her hip and rouge on her cheeks. “What’re y’all havin’?” She reminded Sonya so much of Herschel.

“I’ll have whatever is the most popular thing!” Sonya called to her across the table and over the din.

“Meade it is, then.” The woman nodded.

“Wine for me,” Hange said.

“And me.” Moblit grinned.

“Nothing for me.” Erwin said, clearly not as enamored with his surroundings as Sonya was.

“Black tea.” Levi said, eyeing a rather nasty looking stain on the table.

“What was that, honey?” The barmaid asked, clearly unable to hear him.

“I said, black tea.” He said a bit louder, clearly irritated that she didn’t get it the first time.

The barmaid let out a loud laugh at the odd request. “Alright, honey. Comin’ right up.” And she left.

“Oh, wow, look!” Sonya stood up to see above the heads of the crowded tavern, pointing to the other side of the room at the rickety old piano up against a wall. “A real life piano!”

“Have you never seen a piano before?” Hange asked, amazed.

Sonya shook her head. “No, but Alexander-- er, a friend from the Underground showed me what they looked like in this old book he had about taking care of one.” She smiled, remembering sitting on the floor with Alexander as he showed her the plethora of the black and white keys, the little hammers inside the intricate instrument.

“I’ll hum a tune for you-- I don’t think your mother would let you out of this place to see one.” Alexander half-joked, and closed his eyes, extending his hands out in front of him as if the piano were really there. He began humming, his fingers moving curiously, and Sonya had watched him with rapture.

Levi raised an eyebrow at Sonya, while Hange looked as if she had stumbled upon a pot of gold.

“Oh, that’s right! I forgot you were raised in a brothel--” Hange stopped herself abruptly as the drinks came along with the barmaid, who passed them out in awkward silence. The barmaid was a little confused, but left the table when she was finished. “Er, sorry, Sonya-- I didn’t mean, uh, that is to say--”

“Don’t worry about it.” Sonya said through a smile, though it did sting a little, hearing that word. Sonya had only told Hange her situation, back then when she was recruited. She had obviously tried to keep where exactly she was raised a secret; it was enough of an issue that she came from the Underground. If her fellow soldiers knew she was the daughter of a whore…

“Oh, great.” Moblit nodded towards the door of the tavern, where a group of MPs had just entered. While they were in civilians clothes, the veteran soldiers present could recognize them from interactions in the past.

Unfortunately, Sonya recognized one as well: Kurt from the Underground. As soon as Sonya realized that was him, with his coiffed hair and overly-confident swagger, she sunk into her chair, almost hiding behind the huge flagon of mead in front of her. Great, first Hange bringing up where she was raised, and now Kurt entering the tavern? He was sure to embarrass Sonya if he recognized her.

“We should’ve guessed they’d come here.” Erwin sighed.

“There goes our fun night off.” Moblit took a swig of his wine.

“Maybe we should go…” Sonya said sadly, taking a pitiful sip of the sour drink in front of her. She was surprised to find that despite how foul it tasted, it made her feel very warm and fuzzy.

“You give up too easily.” Hange grinned, determined to fix Sonya’s mood. “The night is youn--”

She was drowned out as a chorus of singing began at the table next to them. A group of men, clearly drunk and happy about it, were singing a folk song that Sonya was surprised to find that she knew.

“Love of the woods, love of the woods.

Fills my heart as none else could.

Dear little songbirds there, voice songs that fill the air,

Singing out clearly their, love of the woods.”

The men repeated the song a second time, and Sonya couldn’t help but join in-- that was a song that Alexander had taught her! It filled her with a warmth that almost made her homesick for that little brothel she grew up in. As she sang along, she could almost smell the perfumed air, the smoke from candles and cigarettes. She imagined Alexander, lounging on a couch with her mother--

That left a sour taste in her mouth as she was abruptly brought out of her fantasies. The singing had come to an end, and the drunken men had noticed the pretty girl next to their table singing along with them.

“Hey, pretty lady.” One of them drawled, leaning over to get closer to her. He was old and ugly-- Sonya, being a professional flirter, had no interest in entertaining this man. Funny, she thought to herself, how her first instinct was whether or not she wanted to entertain him. She was her mother’s daughter, she reasoned.

Sonya shrunk back into herself, turning away-- one of the other men, younger and better looking, did not want to lose her attention.

“Uh, hey!” He called. “Do you know ‘Happy Is the Life of a Gypsy’?”

Sonya paused-- she did know that song, and it was one of her favorites. And this boy seemed to be a bit nicer…

“I do,” Sonya said, slipping into performance mode. “But I’ll only sing it if you sing with me.” She flashed him a smile, which she could see was exactly what he wanted. She knew how to play this game-- she had been taught how to win and manipulate it since she was thirteen years old.

“Now, just a minute!” Again, another man-- with brown curly hair and freckles-- stood drunkenly and proudly. “What’s a song without music?” And he made his way over to the piano.

“Oh, look at our regular show-off.” The young, attractive man rolled his eyes, although he was smiling. “Hey, wait!” He exclaimed as Sonya practically chased after him, desperate to hear what a piano sounded like in real life. She bet it couldn’t sound any better than Alexander’s humming.

“There she goes.” Hange laughed, delighted that Sonya was starting to enjoy herself.

“Should we stop her? I mean, what if those guys are bad news?” Moblit said.

“Let her do whatever she wants.” Levi shrugged. “Maybe she’ll tire out faster and then we can leave sooner.”

The curly-haired man took a seat at the piano, and the barmaid who served Sonya’s table smiled in delight.

“Everyone hush up a second; Dimitri is gonna play us a little somethin!” She bellowed, and the entire tavern slowly quieted; it seemed everyone here knew this Dimitri, and loved his music. Sonya stood by the piano, staring at him eagerly.

Dimitri raised his hands, and started to play. The music coming from this instrument was more beautiful than Sonya could have ever imagined-- the sound so full, it enveloped her whole being. She was so wrapped up in the music, she almost forgot to sing.

The handsome young man had made his way next to Sonya by the time the song started:

“Happy is the life of a Gypsy.  Fa-ria, fa-ria, ho!

To the taxmen, he pays not a penny.  Fa-ria, fa-ria, ho!

Happy, back in the woods, away.  Where the Gypsies so often stay.”

Filled with immense excitement and joy, Sonya couldn’t help but want to dance. She turned to the young man next to her, and grabbed his hands, pulling him to the small space reserved for dancing near the piano, and moved her feet in time to the pulsing music while she and the rest of the tavern sang the chorus. A few people even joined in dancing:

“Fa-ria, fa-ria, fa-ria, Fa-ria, fa-ria, fa-ria, ho!”

“My name’s Garrett!” The young man called over the din of the music and the tavern as he twirled a very happy Sonya. “What’s your name?”

Her mother would have advised Sonya to give a fake name-- a name prettier than the one she was born with, to easily indulge the fantasy of the young man before her. The fantasy about the mysterious, beautiful newcomer in this tavern who he would never see again. But this time, Sonya wasn’t interested in indulging any fantasies-- flirting was fun in its’ own rite, but she intended to limit the amount of influence her mother would have on her personal life.

“Sonya!” She said happily, and sang the last verse loudly with the rest of the tavern.

“When one does not have a featherbed.  Fa-ria, fa-ria, ho!

Dig yourself a shallow hole instead.  Fa-ria, fa-ria, ho!

Line it with some moss and leaves. That will then your featherbed be.

Fa-ria, fa-ria, fa-ria, Fa-ria, fa-ria, fa-ria, ho!”

And the tavern erupted in applause and hollering, much to Sonya’s delight. She turned to Dimitri at the piano, who had turned around, and drunkenly bowed to the crowd, obviously enjoying the attention.

“You’re a wonderful dancer,” Garrett said, wrapping his arm around Sonya’s hip in an attempt to turn her back around to him. However, he underestimated how strong Sonya was thanks to her training in the Corps, as she pulled away from him easily.

“Thank you,” She said distractedly, and went over to Dimitri, with stars in her eyes. “Play another one!”

“Oh, sure!” Dimitri beamed. “But only if you give me a kiss.” He said playfully.

Sonya huffed in annoyance. It sure would be nice to enjoy things without the attachment of her being a sexual object to everything she enjoyed.

“Don’t be so sour!” Dimitri laughed, sitting back down at the piano. “I’m only joking.” And he began playing a piece entirely unfamiliar to Sonya. His hands travelled across the black and white terrain of the piano, leaping from chord to chord gracefully. She watched, entranced.

“What are the words to this one?” She asked-- now that Dimitri was playing, the tavern was again quieting down in respect.

“Hm, there are none,” Dimitri said, his eyes closed contentedly. “The music speaks if you listen.”

And Sonya did listen-- she felt the music wrap around her limbs, clutch her heart, and flow over her like a veil. Dimitri took a look at her out of the corner of his eye, observing her knowingly.

“Dance if you want,” He said. “I think you’re dying to.”

That made Sonya smile a little-- she wasn’t sure how he could tell until she glanced down, noticing her feet had begun making miniscule movements almost on instinct. It seemed the music was actually calling her to dance, giving her invisible counts like how Alexander would whisper: one, two, three, four, five, six…

So, with a bit of reckless abandon, Sonya began to dance. She made it up as she went along-- the music would tell her what to do. An arpeggio, she would pirouette; held out chords, and she would slowly move to the next position, her arms gliding through the air. She moved with precise flexibility, every movement feeling as natural to her as breathing. It was so incredibly freeing to abandon all thought-- all grief for Anna, stress about capturing a titan, embarrassment about Kurt resurfacing from her past-- and simply dance, allowing the piano’s beautiful, foreign sound to influence what already came naturally to her.

Dimitri finished playing, and Sonya finished dancing; and all was quiet. It seemed that everyone was stunned, and the lack of response made Sonya incredibly embarrassed and ashamed. Was dancing like that not normal above ground? Was it offensive? Did she look like a fool?

But then-- someone in the back of the tavern began clapping, and then another, and another, until the whole room was applauding Sonya and Dimitri. Sonya let out a little laugh, incredibly relieved that she hadn’t done anything wrong.

“Where did you learn to dance like that?” Dimitri asked, now having joined her side.

“My…” Sonya wasn’t sure what to call Alexander. “My friend from childhood. He taught me.”

“He’s an amazing teacher.” Dimitri said, his cheeks red from all the wine he had drank. With a hiccup, he clasped Sonya’s hand, raising it in the air. Sonya tensed up, almost completely going into defense-mode at the foreign contact.

“What are you doing?” She snapped, but Dimitri only brought their hands down together, taking her with him in an elaborate bow to the tavern.

“You’ve gotta relax.” Dimitri flashed her a dopey smile as they came back up to stand. “If you ever wanna dance again, I’d be happy to play for you.” And he brought her hand up to his lips, kissing her knuckles lightly before stumbling back to the bar to get more drinks.

Sonya felt a blush heat up her face and chest, and as she made her way back to the table with her fellow soldiers, she found that she couldn’t stop smiling. She hadn’t danced in so long!

“Sonya!” Hange exclaimed. “What in the world was that? You were amazing!”

“Thank you!” Sonya put her hands on her cheeks, feeling how warm she had become. “I was so afraid that nobody knew what I was doing or something-- I’ve never seen how you all dance up here.” She laughed, taking a look at Levi; she wanted to know what he thought.

He was taking a sip of his tea, and caught her gaze, surprised that she was looking at him expectantly. Just as he was opening his mouth to speak, a certain someone had crept up behind Sonya and placed his hands on her shoulders in an overly-familiar gesture.

“Sonya, sweetheart!” Kurt exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear. “Never thought I’d see you on the surface-- but I guess you did make it through training, after all…”

Sonya whipped around to face him; she would recognize that voice anywhere. She narrowed her eyes as he sat in the empty chair next to her, making everyone uncomfortable.

“Say, Herschel was askin’ me about you,” Kurt continued, well aware that he was being a pest. “She just couldn’t understand why you-- hic-- left! She was real hurt.” He pouted his lip, and Sonya looked away, feeling like she had been stabbed in the gut. She could just picture Herschel, with her dark, silky hair and comforting embrace, sitting at the kitchen table where she taught Sonya how to play and cheat at cards. She saw her mother sitting with her there, smoking a cigarette with the sly smile she shared with Sonya. She missed Herschel-- she even missed her mother. But… she had to leave that awful place.

“Well… I had to get out of there.” Sonya muttered.

“Y’know, I never did get the chance to give you a proper birthday present…” Kurt said, running his finger along her bare arm. Sonya caught that, and made a move to grab his wrist with the intent of breaking his arm, but before she got the chance to, Levi was already standing and had grabbed Kurt by the lapel of his jacket. Despite the height difference, Levi had pinned him up against the wall-- the disturbance caught the attention of the tavern, and everyone looked on in alarm.

“L-Levi!” Kurt exclaimed, surprised to come face-to-face with the infamous Survey Corps Captain in a tavern like this.

“You’re annoying as all hell.” Levi said in a low voice-- Sonya saw that his eyes were dark, and not just because of the lighting. “I’ll thank you not to lay hands on my cadet again.” He let him go, and stood back to give Kurt free passage back to his posse of MPs.

Kurt, despite being inebriated, understood very clearly. He hurried away like a punished dog, and Levi let out a sigh.

“I think it’s time for us to leave.” Erwin said just as the barmaid came over to put an end to what could have been a potential fight. “Thank you for the pleasant evening.” He left money on the table, and the four Survey Corps soldiers exited the tavern without another word.

[-]

“Awh, I never even got to eat my soup!” Moblit complained as they walked through the brightly lit streets back to HQ.

“I’m really sorry…” Sonya said, looking down in shame.

“Hm? Sorry for what?” Hange asked incredulously. “Oh-- you mean Kurt? Well, it was Levi’s decision to cause a commotion in the first place,” She cast a playful glare to her friend, “and in the second place, it’s not your fault that creep came on to you like that. I’m surprised you didn’t break his arm.”

“I would have,” Sonya said, and knocked her elbow with Levi’s, “if my knight in shining armour hadn’t come to my rescue.”

Levi sighed, quite annoyed with all this extra attention. “Can we figure out what we’re going to do about food, please? I’m starving.”

“Check it out! A street vendor!” Hange exclaimed, pointing to a small stand, with delicious-smelling steam rising from it.

“Oh, it smells so good!” Moblit cried, and it was then decided that they would be getting their dinner from there.

Sonya got the roasted brussels sprouts and carrots-- they were delicious! She let out an emphatic, “Mmmm!” as soon as she ate one, even though it sort of burned her mouth.

“Oh, can I try one?” Hange asked excitedly, abandoning her vegetable fried rice. Sonya nodded emphatically, and held one out for her to bite. Hange, amused by this strange way of offering food, nonetheless accepted happily. “Ohh, they are good!”

Sonya laughed, wiping her hand on her skirt. “Want to try one? You’ve been eyeing them,” She held one out to Levi, with her signature grin. He glanced at her; he had gotten the fried rice, as well. With a glance at Hange, he knew he would have to accept the food in the same way she had-- though inwardly, he decided it wasn’t all that bad.

With a shrug, he nodded (much to Sonya’s delight). She smiled, and brought the little vegetable up to his mouth, and as he bit down, his lips brushed with her fingertips for just a moment, causing Sonya’s breath to hitch. He held her gaze as he chewed, and raised his eyebrows in approval.

Sonya smiled, glad that he liked the food she liked, and just as she was about to look away, he brought his thumb up to the corner of her mouth, wiping away some of the sauce from the brussels sprouts. Her skin felt red-hot where he had just touched her, and she fought back a blush with all her might. This was definitely payback for her comment as she laid on her bed earlier.

“You’re a mess.” He shook his head. She smiled, and bit the inside of her lip to keep from giggling like a complete idiot. Erwin, Hange, and Moblit pretended they didn’t see a thing.

[-]

The walk back to HQ was relatively peaceful, now that they were fed and relatively happy. Hange and Erwin were discussing their debate tactics for tomorrow, with Moblit listening intently at Hange’s side. Levi and Sonya walked behind the three in silence-- Levi staring at the ground, Sonya gazing at all the houses and buildings on either side of them.

She glanced at Levi, and felt she needed to actually thank him for earlier.

“Um, thanks,” She said awkwardly, “for earlier. It was nice to see Kurt scared shitless.”

Levi half-smiled, nodding. “He is an ass.” He kicked a rock in his path, which went scuttling across the cobblestone street. “I know his kind-- so many of those MPs visit the whores Underground.”

Sonya winced at that word; if Hange and the Survey Corps hadn’t come along when they had, she would have been one of those whores forced to pleasure those disgusting MPs. She looked down, avoiding saying anything to indicate that it bothered her.

Levi noticed, though-- he cleared his throat. “You know, my mother was--” He halted, glancing at Sonya who glanced at him. From the look on his face, she understood. She couldn’t help but be surprised.

“Oh.” She nodded. “To be honest, I thought you came from some noble family that bred assassins.”

Levi let out a quick breath through his nose; Sonya assumed that was his way of laughing. “No. I came from the Underground.”

“Oh!” Sonya almost stopped dead in her tracks-- that was incredibly surprising. Although, now that she studied him upon closer inspection, he did carry himself like the gang members Underground; as if he were expecting an attack at any moment, calmly aware of everything on all sides. That was probably why he was such a skilled killer, she thought solemnly. Their conversation had taken a heavy turn-- she hated that. So, she fixed it in the best way she knew how: humor. Sonya playfully linked arms with a surprised Levi. “It’s like we’re made for each other.” She sighed as they ascended the steps leading in to HQ.

Sonya laughed, leaving Levi’s side to follow Hange down the hallway to their room. Before she completely separated from him, though, she spun around to face him once more.

“Oh, and at least I learned some valuable information tonight!” She said happily, hoping he would catch on her hook and play along. With a half-smile, Levi crossed his arms and leaned against the stone wall of HQ-- he looked incredibly sly, standing like that in the flickering torch light.

“And what’s that?”

“I’m your cadet.” Sonya lowered her voice and gave him the most sultry look she had, one that Herschel taught her: draped eyelids, pouted lips, head tilted back and to the side, and for extra emphasis, she placed her hand on the wall next to him, and dragged it down, holding eye contact as she performed the overly-dramatic display of seduction. She laughed at herself, breaking character almost instantly, and spun around, walking back to her room (though she walked a bit more with her hips this time).

And Levi smiled to himself, making his way back to his own room, thinking to himself how amusing Sonya had just been (and how he kind of liked it).

#aot #snk #attack on titan #aot fanfiction #snk fanfiction #levi #levi x oc #levi fanfiction

[friendly-neighborhood-mess]

#1-100, answer them all nOW

Ahhhh yas okay

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?

SPOTIFY

*is your room messy or clean?

it…depends.

*what color are your eyes?

hazel/honey c:

*do you like your name? why?

meh, it’s alright .*what is your relationship status? 

single af.

*describe your personality in 3 words or less

laughs at everything.

*where do you shop?

at a store duh.

*how would you describe your style?

casual, but cool and comfy… sometimes.

*favorite social media account

TUMBLR.

any siblings?

yas.

*if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?

oh man, so many places. maybe Italy, or london, or new york, or oslo or so many otherssss.

*favorite snapchat filter? 

oh! the one with the glasses and the freckles.

*favorite makeup brand(s)

uhhh, mac, maybelline…yep. 

*how many times a week do you shower?

7.

*favorite tv show?

HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER IS THE BEST.

*shoe size?

not sure, because all of the countries have different charts of sizes and it confuses me.

*how tall are you?

same answer that before.

*sandals or sneakers? 

i will wear sneakers till the day i die.

*do you go to the gym? 

uhhhhhhh.

*describe your dream date

lots of laughs, not being awkward, going home with a smile on the face. 

*how much money do you have in your *wallet at the moment?

what is money anyway.

*what color socks are you wearing? 

not wearing socks.

*how many pillows do you sleep with?

1, 2 max.

*do you have a job? what do you do? 

i wish i did but no :c 

*whats the worst thing you have ever done? 

i once broke my sister’s laptop BUT IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

*whats your favorite candle scent? 

vanilla. 

*3 favorite boy names

alex, sam and Carter, and tom and peter.

*3 favorite girl names

sophie, anna, gwen.

*favorite actor? 

rdj, tom holland, chris pratt, sam claflin…

*favorite actress? 

cobie smulders, lily collins, emilia clarke…

*who is your celebrity crush?

you should know that by now tom in case you don’t .

*favorite movie? 

I CAN’T JUST PICK ONE.

*do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? 

not a lot lot but i read. I CAN’T JUST PICK ONE.

*money or brains? 

brains.

*do you have a nickname? what is it? 

mo, mon, monts. basically just take or add a letter every time.

*how many times have you been to the hospital?

one, when i was born lol. (like i have been to the doctor, but like being in the bed conected to machines, never).

*top 10 favorite songs

I CAN’T JUST PICK 10.

*what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)

hmm, sometimes oily, sometimes dry, sometimes fine.

*what is your biggest fear? 

spiders, snakes, the deep ocean, spiders, how small we are compared to the universe and SPIDERS.

*how many kids do you want? 

uh idk, 2?

*whats your go to hair style?

it’s either up or down, i can do better, i’m just lazy.

*who is your role model? 

my grandpa.

*what was the last compliment you received?

that i have pretty eyes.

*what was the last text you sent?

*a meme* me: “ HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHA”.

*how old were you when you found out *santa wasn’t real?

SANTA’S NOT REAL??!! 

neh just kidding, like 10/12 not sure.

*what is your dream car? 

huh, never thought about it.

*opinion on smoking?

nope.

*what is your dream job? 

actress or writer.

*would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?

oh man, i love both. 

*do you take shampoo and conditioner *bottles from hotels? 

yeah, when they smell nice.

*do you have freckles? 

no :c

*do you smile for pictures?

yep.

*how many pictures do you have on your phone? 

a lot. (mostly memes)

*have you ever peed in the woods? 

nope.

*do you still watch cartoons? 

yas. 

*do you prefer chicken nuggets from *Wendy’s or McDonalds?

i have only tried the burgers at wendy’s so mcdonalds.

*Favorite dipping sauce? 

don’t have one.

*what do you wear to bed? 

pjs.

*have you ever won a spelling bee?

yes!

* what are your hobbies?

music, reading, drawing, netflix, music, walking, music…

*can you draw? 

i´m no professional but i can draw somethings.

*do you play an instrument?

the piano, and i’m learning the ukulele. 

*tea or coffee?

coffeeeee.

*Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

starbucks and dunkin donuts.

*do you want to get married?

sure, in the far away future.

*what is your crush’s first and last initial?

not telling. 

*are you going to change your last name *when you get married? 

nope.

*what color looks best on you? 

according to my mom, green, not sure if i agree tho.

*do you miss anyone right now? 

yes.

*what is your biggest pet peeve? 

 i am impatient and can be talkative lmao.

*last person you called`

my friend.

*favorite ice cream flavor? 

cookies n’ cream, choco-mint or cinnamon.

*regular oreos or golden oreos? 

R E G U L A R.

*chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? 

rainboooow, they make my ice cream look pretty.

*what shirt are you wearing? 

a black hoodie lol.

*what is your phone background?

my lock screen is a hand dropping planets and my home screen, some planets.

*are you outgoing or shy?

both. like i can talk to people and have fun blah blah, but i can be the shiest person.

*do you like it when people play with hair?

YES.

*do you like your neighbors? 

well, they say good morning and i say it back.

*do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?

yes, at both times.

*last thing you ate? 

a chocolate bar hehe.

*favorite lyrics right now

“will i have grown a little empire or made a fucking mess”.

*summer or winter? 

winter.

*day or night? 

both.

*dark, milk, or white chocolate? 

milk and white.

*favorite month? 

october.

*what is your zodiac sign

scorpio.

* who was the last person you cried in front of? 

my mom.

#me

[santiagostyle]

U kno what plot twist ill only ask u for all the even numbers this time!!! Unless any of the odd ones involve music bc i know those are the ones u rly wanna answer so

MARK THE DAY KIDS JO IS BEING NICE TO ME

anyway this is a hella long post lmao s o r r y

2. name your favourite books; why are they your favourite books and do they affect your writing?

my all time favourite is To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee which like,, I feel like it doesn’t really affect my writing but it definitely reignited my love for literature which I guess consequently led to me getting back into writing??

also the A to Z of You and Me by James Hannah literally ripped out my heart and stomped on it and I’m seriously pretty sure I finished it within a few hours of starting it. That one probably does affect my writing because it’s very angsty but also in terms of style it’s pretty fragmented which is kinda the direction I tend to go in so!!!

I’m yet to make it past the first chapter but the style of Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy is,,, everything 

not technically a book but I’m a theatre major so ofc i’m gonna include a play!!! 4.48 Psychosis by Sarah Kane ripped my heart out, tore it to pieces, threw it on the ground and stomped on it (also side note it took me a solid week and a half to recover from watching it performed live). the style is so abstract and disjointed and strange and fragmented but it’s so so perfect and absolutely heartbreaking (also big ass trigger warning if you’re thinking about looking it up)

ALSO i got about halfway through before life got in the way so I didn’t get the chance to finish it but I absolutely adore the style of Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury and like,,, fun fact I’m actually related to him so ???? i guess writing runs in the family ????? and yeah there are some small parts of that book that I read and thought ‘this sounds like something i would write’ just because i feel like we have pretty similar styles4. why do you like writing? what inspired you to put paper to pen?

I guess I haven’t ever really been happy just living one life or doing one thing at a time so,,,, I write 6. tag any writers that you want to collab with!

hoooooo boy um ?? literally ?? everyone??? but specifically @elsaclack @startofamoment @kasuchi @peraltiagoisland and my girl @johnnydora but for real i wanna write with EVERYONE 8. how many wip do you currently have? which one is your favourite as of the moment?

HA HA HA HA HA for real I literally have like,,, 4 Big Major Fics in the works and then like 11-12 little drabble things also in progress (and by in progress I mean I’ve thought about them and done absolutely nothing else)10. describe your writing in five sentences or less.

sentences suck imma do dot points

- I can’t write chronologically and the beginning of a story is usually the last thing I do

- I have a tendency to write ‘moments’ as opposed to actual full fledged stories if that makes sense? like I find it so much easier to write little ‘scenes’ or slices of life so i often use quite a few time jumps because i find it so difficult to write the stuff that occurs in between big moments

- i always spend so much time and so many words describing the littlest details because those are what i think are most important 

- literally everything i write has a song associated with it and i can’t write without music 

- i either use really long super flowery descriptive sentences, or sentences with like 3 words in them. there is no in between 

12. what do you associate with each of your stories? with your writing in general?

I mean I’ve only published two (2) things on here/ao3 so far but like I mentioned before the music thing so I suppose i associate particular songs with each of my stories?

but also like in general all of my writing comes from a really intense emotional place and like, even if I’m unsure of how my?? mental state?? is doing at a particular time, it comes through in my writing. so if i suddenly only wanna write fluff i know i’m doing okay, whereas i kinda have to be sad to write something angsty like the hellfic14. write a personal history/mini autobiography/author description that you don’t mind sharing.

smol anxious tina fey wannabe spends too much time crying in her room thinking about so many stories while putting off actually writing 16. three pieces of other’s writing that people need to read to understand your inspirations and you?

alright i know like everyone and their dog has already read it but foR REAL @elsaclack‘s sleepwalking changed my goddamn life alright it was literally everything i had ever wanted in a fic and i am still Shooktd to this day okay frick

Veronika Decides to Die by Paulo Coelho is also a book that is very important to me and I think everyone should read it 

Neighbourhood Watch by Lally Katz is the first play that actually made me cry just by reading it (like, I didn’t see it live, I cried reading the actual text) because god there’s so much emotion and so many issues that it deals with that are very close to my heart and it reminded me a lot of some people I’m very close to so!!!!18. make a playlist for people to listen to if they want to understand you.

AIGHT I DON’T HAVE TIME TO DO AN ACTUAL PLAYLIST RN BUT I’M GONNA EDIT THIS LATER AND ADD A LINK BUT FOR NOW HERE ARE SOME OF MY ALL TIME FAVOURITE SONGS:

America - XYLØ

Young Blood - The Naked and Famous

Go Bang - PNAU

Sucker - Peaches

Raspberry Beret - Prince

Salvation - The Cranberries

Hero - Regina Spektor

Caught - Florence + The Machine

Time (Video Version) - Stray Dogg & Devendra Banhart

Leaving the City - Joanna Newsom

September 22nd - Brock Berrigan

Havana - Camila Cabello

Queen of Peace - Florence + The Machine

Regular Touch - Vera Blue

Here I Lie - Marika Hackman

Maneater - Nelly Furtado 

Kiwi - Harry Styles

Shut Up and Dance - WALK THE MOON

Baby I Call Hell - Deap Vally

Motel - Meg Myers20. describe your writing life in one sentence. 

I have been writing since I could hold a pen, and telling stories since before then22. your favourite characters to write and why.

oBVIOUSLY JAKE AND AMY but like I think I find Jake just a tiiiiiny bit easier to write because I’m always talking about Amy, like, externally??24. name one fact about yourself that you want your readers to know about you.

for real i’ve literally been writing since i could hold a pen. my mum still has ‘books’ i wrote when i was 3 about the adventures of my teddy bear lmfao26. what are your writing goals for the week? for the month? for the year? how many words/poems do you write per week?

HAHAHAHH WELLLLLL i was meant to be doing nanowrimo this month but then some Things happened so it hasn’t really gotten done. my biggest writing goal at the moment is to make some soliddddd progress on the hellfic (it’s all planned and a lot of the next chapter is written i just,,, can’t make the words work atm) so!!!

also i pretty much write when i have ideas?? which is,,, not often unfortunately

[cxmplicatedbynature]

Once again I’m asking for your help with tags! I’ve been notified that tumblr hates the NSFW tag, so I’m ditching it and replacing it with a new one. Block the word “block” or “sin” and you should be good.

I’m also finishing up the new tags I started the other day, so if you’ve got any ideas for tags, now is the time to tell me.

Even if u already have a quote for something you’re welcome to offer ideas.

Pretty much all of them are quotes, so that’s what I’m looking for:

║ ║ character ↦ ;;

║ shit or get off the privy ║ character ↦ ;;Angouleme

║ my ermine has a good heart ║ character ↦ ;;Anna Henrietta

║ ║ character ↦ ;;Borsch Three Jackjaws

║ loads of little dandelions ║ character ↦ ;;Bouquet of Bastards

║ fiance? which do you mean? ║ character ↦ ;;Beautiful People

║ ║ character ↦ ;;Cahir

║ first of all I’m not your little one ║ character ↦ ;;Ciri

║ the soul’s desire to grow ║ character ↦ ;;Countess de Stael

║ his respect came from the heart of his bottom ║ character ↦ ;;Dijkstra

║ as far as the foppish dandelion was concerned ║ character ↦ ;;Dandelion

║ I’m glad you’re here you whoreson ║ character ↦ ;;Geralt

║ cooperative fellowship of idiots ║ character ↦ ;;Hansa

║ lambert lambert what a prick ║ character ↦ ;;Lambert

║ such marvelous spitefulness ║ character ↦ ;;Little Eye

║ kite flies against the wind not with it ║ character ↦ ;;Milva

║ ║ character ↦ ;;Pegasus

║ ║ character ↦ ;;Priscilla

║ ║ character ↦ ;;Roach

║ ║ character ↦ ;;Regis

║ ║ character ↦ ;;Renfri

║ not too pretty but nonetheless beautiful ║ character ↦ ;;Shani

║ ║ character ↦ ;;Tea & Vea

║ rest in peace ║ character ↦ ;;Susan the Katakan

║ ║ character ↦ ;;Triss Merigold

║ ║ character ↦ ;;Yarpen

║ the ballad of the two tits ║ character ↦ ;;Yennefer

║ ║ character ↦ ;;Zoltan

NSFW

║ lewdness and promiscuity allows musicians to compose ║ block ↦ ;;Meme for Sinday

║cynic lecher womanizer liar║ block ↦ ;;Sinday

║incomplete happiness: a kiss interrupted║ block ↦ ;;Information for Sinday

║become a priest with all your scruples║ block ↦ ;;Sinning all Week

║you must be insane with fear║ block ↦ ;;Graphic Photo

block ↦ ;;Child Abuse

block ↦ ;;Alcoholism & Addiction

block ↦ ;;Blood & Gore

block ↦ ;;Vomit

block ↦ ;;Self Harm

block ↦ ;;Depression

Timeline

║ ║ timeline ↦ ;

║ ║ timeline ↦ ;;Childhood

║ literacy beaten into you ║ timeline ↦ ;;Temple School

║ ║ timeline ↦ ;;Oxenfurt

║ inspired by your love for the countess de stael ║ timeline ↦ ;;Solo Wanderings

║ ║ timeline ↦ ;;Novellas

║ ║ timeline ↦ ;;Blood of Elves

║ ║ timeline ↦ ;;Time of Contempt

║ ║ timeline ↦ ;;Baptism of Fire

║ ║ timeline ↦ ;;Tower of Swallows

║ ║ timeline ↦ ;;Lady of the Lake

║ ║ timeline ↦ ;;Witcher 1

║ you’re an adult. kind of. ║ timeline ↦ ;;Witcher 2

║ ║ timeline ↦ ;;Witcher 3

║friendship is all that matters. oh and wine║ timeline ↦ ;;Blood and Wine

Adaptations

║ ║ adaptation ↦ ;

║ I left my cat on the stove ║ adaptation ↦ ;Netflix Show

║ we all have to die of something ║ adaptation ↦ ;Games by CDPR

║ a poet can sigh as often as he likes ║ adaptation ↦ ;Books

║ ║ adaptation ↦ ;The Hexer

Dandelion

║ ║ dandelion ↦ ;

║ poets know everything ║ dandelion ↦ ;;important headcanon

║ a dandy in a fanciful hat with an egret feather stuck into it ║ dandelion ↦ ;;Aesthetic

║ I’m a poet what does it matter what I think? ║ dandelion ↦ ;;Musings

║ I’m not lying just embellishing ║ dandelion ↦ ;;Headcanon

║ bright shining star of the love poem and the ballad ║ dandelion ↦ ;;Music

OOC

║ talentless wastrel who panders to the masses ║ misc ↦ ;;OOC

║ may a goose nip me if I’m lying║ misc ↦ ;;PSA

║ did you dream you’re a chump? that might have been prophetic ║ misc ↦ ;;Goodnight Quote

║ would you prefer it in verse or normal speech? ║ misc ↦ ;;Answered Ask

║ if you’re coming in through the window this must be important ║ misc ↦ ;;Mobile

║ pack your bags. your departure is imminent║ misc ↦ ;;TBD

║ I am being bloody serious ║ misc ↦ ;;Crack

║ first place at the annual bard’s tournament ║ misc ↦ ;;Promotional

#║ talentless wastrel who panders to the masses ║ misc ↦ ;;OOC #;tbd #;mobile

[forkanna]

[AO3 LINK] [EF LINK]

NOTES: So both Pankite and myself are seated in a Second Cup in Toronto, about to drop this update. It's been a (mostly) fun trip, one or two small annoyances notwithstanding. I feel like as much as I already knew a lot about Canada before this, now I understand it a little better than before (despite a brief trip to Montreal in the past). Tomorrow, I'm heading back to the States, but for now I'm going to try to soak up as much as I can in the time I have left. Next stop: Pizza Pizza (again)!

As for the story, here comes a twist.

By the time they started back towards the cabin, Anna felt exhausted. With most of the other girls gone, the responsibility of watching the kids all day had gone to Anna and Elsa and the task had been much more tiring than Anna expected.

"I could collapse and die," Elsa groaned as they reached the cabin door. She saw a couple of other counselors looking a little weary, but not quite as drained as the two of them. Anna nodded in agreement, holding the door open for Elsa to saunter in first before moving over to her bed and collapsing on it.

"How on earth did we wind up with almost twelve kids dumped on us at the end there?" she grunted.

"Because… Aurora took advantage of us." Elsa was at least able to pull her boots off first, but when she started to pull her shirt off she seemed to decide it was too much effort and flopped back instead. "Blackmailing us into… taking on her jobs."

"I thought it was only supposed to be for half a day?" Anna had just enough energy to flip onto her back so that she was staring up at the ceiling. "We have to do something about her… this is unfair."

With a weak shrug, Elsa rolled her head to stare at her sister. "Like what? I'm not breaking up with you. And I'm not really afraid of her… oh, I don't know. This whole thing got out of hand."

"I don't know, either." Anna sighed and ran her hand through her bangs. "Well… at least we only have to do this for a week more."

"Yeah." Then she cleared her throat. "Is it weird that… I'd rather stay here, slaving away with you, than go back to my mother?"

The confession made Anna feel warm all over and she looked over at Elsa. "Y-eah?" She blushed at the slight crack in her voice. But Elsa only rolled so she could look at her properly, smiling a tired-but-content smile. Anna smiled back. "You could always come home with me and Papa; I'm sure he would be thrilled to have you."

"That would be… inadvisable." Then she sighed. "You know Mother would be all… yeah, she wouldn't take it well. But maybe I should think about how to tell her over the summer; about you, not us. That might be a much harder conversation!"

"Yeah...makes sense," Anna sighed. "Baby steps are advisable, especially with our Mom... " She went quiet briefly, playing with the pendent Elsa had bought her, before she said, "Do you think… Mom will accept me being in your life again?"

Elsa didn't answer right away. When she did, she said in a hesitant voice, "I don't know. I think we could get her to see reason if we worked at it for a while… but right away?" A sigh of her own. "She's been stewing in all this bitterness for so long. It's going to be hard."

Anna nibbled on her bottom lip. The thought hurt, it really did, but Anna knew that she would never change herself to fix the relationship with her mother. She would never take back what she had now with Elsa. She slowly rolled out of her own bed and walked over to Elsa's.

"Can I lie with you?"

Instead of answering, Elsa weakly reached up an arm to take Anna's hand and pull her down next to her. Then she wrapped her arms and legs around her sister. Anna snuggled into the embrace, sighing contentedly as she wrapped her arms around Elsa's torso and pressed her face into her shoulder.

"I love you," she whispered, "I don't care if Mom hates me for the rest of my life for any of this, I'm never going to stop."

"And neither will I," she breathed, petting along her back. "And I mean that in both kinds of 'love'. She won't take this from us."

Just before Anna could reply, there was a soft knock at the door. Not waiting for an answer, a cheery voice said, "Hey! Anybody in there?"

Anna lifted her head from Elsa's shoulder to look over at the door. It was awkward, considering she and Elsa were lying in a way that Anna's back was towards the door and they were at an angle, but Anna caught a glimpse of Rapunzel and gave a small smile.

"Hey, Punzie."

"O-oh, sorry," she said, wincing through the crack in the door. "You, uh… are you busy? Did I interrupt something?"

"Nah, not really." Anna started to detach from her older sister's side to address her friend properly. "What's up?"

But now that she was entering, the blonde looked highly nervous about something. Her face was pale, and she was gulping to clear her throat. "U-um… I got this chocolate from my mom in the mail today, and… and I wondered if you wanted some. Both of you, um, you two."

Anna perked up at the mention of the chocolate, a wide smile on her face. "Wow, Punzie! That's really nice of you! Are you sure?" She regarded her nervous friend, the excitement dimming slightly at how stiff the usually laidback brunette was. "Are you okay?"

"Oh, I just… you two looked like you were really… close when I came in." She swallowed again, then pulled the chocolates out from behind her back. "Sorry, I still feel like I kinda walked in on… on a sister moment? Or something?"

"Don't be silly," Elsa said as she sat up at last. "You're always welcome here."

The redhead nodded and grinned at her friend. "Yeah, me and Elsa don't mind. We were just relaxing after the crazy day, that's all."

"Well… okay." Holding out the box, she smiled uncomfortably. "Take as… as many as you want!"

With a quiet "thank you", Elsa reached in and took one; trying to be conservative as always. Anna also reached in and took a few, managing to keep herself from taking more than three.

"Thank you, Punzie. Really. Would you like to sit for a bit?"

"NO! That is… sorry, I really wanna get a shower after… well, the whole day. I'm kinda sweaty." Then she gave a little wave. "You two, uh, behave yourselves, okay?"

"Uhh, okay," Elsa intoned as they waved her off. When the door was shut, she turned to Anna with a confused expression. "What do you think that was about?"

"I'm not sure…" Anna frowned and looked towards the door that Rapunzel had just exited. Worry for her friend gnawed at her but she decided to just give the brunette her space for now and talk to her about it another time.

Which was just as well, because Elsa was pulling Anna back down onto the bed. "Oh well. Here, let me… share my chocolate with you." Then she leaned up to press her tongue against Anna's lips.

A sharp thrill shot through Anna at Elsa's unexpected boldness and a moan slipped from her throat as she took Elsa's tongue in her mouth, savouring the sweetness of chocolate and Elsa and pulling Elsa even closer to her. Strong arms wrapped around her back, holding her close and tenderly as the lips and tongue continued to respond with great enthusiasm. In response, Anna gave Elsa's tongue a light, teasing nip and rolled them so she was hovering over her sister.

"O-ohhh," Elsa sighed, running her hands up and down Anna's back as they parted slightly. Gazing upward, she whispered to her, "How did you like… the chocolate?"

"I love it," she breathed back. Elsa's body beneath her was warm and inviting, her eyes soft, and Anna couldn't resist pressing her mouth against Elsa's again for another addicting taste. The other set of lips wasted no time reciprocating, humming gently.

This kiss didn't last as long. Anna pulled away and rested her forehead against Elsa's, breathing in sync with the elder sibling and smiling so much that it was making her cheeks sore. "I love you so much, you stinker."

"Back at you, Freckles. And speaking of 'stinker'..."

Out of nowhere, Elsa swatted across Anna's behind. Anna jumped, startled at the action, and stared down at Elsa with teal eyes wide with disbelief. "Y-You just spanked me! You stinker! You spanked me!"

"Only a little," she laughed with a wide grin. "On your stinker. Get it?"

Anna rolled her eyes but grinned back at Elsa's stupid joke, unable to keep even a playfully annoyed expression in the wake of Elsa's willingness to play. "I'll get you back for it," she swore. "Sooner or later, just you watch."

                                                              ~ o ~

It was sometime after one in the morning when Anna's phone went off. Anna groaned in annoyance and glared at the device, her ringtone shrill in the silence of the night. She grabbed it quickly and prayed the the body snuggling into her own was a heavy sleeper before answering without looking at her caller ID.

"Kristoff, I swear if this is one of your drunk calls again, I'm going to kick your ass when I get home!" she hissed quietly. But it wasn't Kristoff.

In fact, it wasn't even Anna's phone; it was Elsa's. There was a moment of silence before a feminine voice asked, "Anna? What are you doing with Elsa's phone?"

'Shit. Aurora.'

Taking a quick glance, she spotted her own pale pink phone case in the pale light of Elsa's screen and inwardly cursed herself before answering, "She's fast asleep and it woke me up. What do you want? It's 1am."

"Do I want to know what you were doing before you fell asleep?" she asked nastily. But followed up immediately with, "Doesn't matter. I need a favour… and youuuuu guys owe me, remember?"

Anna wanted badly to tell her to shove it but she was wise enough to know the disastrous consequences, despite her half-asleep brain. So she swallowed the anger and nasty retort on the tip of her tongue and simply grunted, "What is it you need?"

"A ride. One of you has a car, right? I think… anyway, like, we're kind of stuck in the village and we don't want to miss bed check in the morning… and you know what'll happen if you don't do what I say."

"Well…" She looked down regretfully at Elsa, who looked so peaceful and beautiful as she slept. It would be a shame to wake her for this, but Elsa was the one with the car and Anna wasn't the world's best driver to begin with. She nibbled on her lip, torn with indecision, before trying, "I really don't want to wake Elsa. Can't you let this one slide? Just this once?"

The voice turned a tad colder. "Listen. I know you and Tremblay don't want to be known as sinners throughout the entire camp, do you? So either come and get us, or you'll be sorry! Just be smart!"

Her hand twitched before curling into a fist. Anna had been on the receiving end of a bully multiple times throughout the years and her entire being was demanding that she punch the bitch straight in the mouth when they finally get face to face, especially with how she was threatening Elsa. However, Aurora was right and Anna had to take several breaths to calm herself down before she ground out a response.

"I'll get her up. Text me the address and give us an hour, at least."

"An hour?!" she sighed, but then said, "Fine, I guess. But not any longer than that, Megara doesn't look too good… anyway, bye." Then the line went dead.

Around that time, Elsa rolled over, grumbling in her sleep. Anna sighed and started to comb her fingers through Elsa's mussed hair, just admiring her for a few moments as she thought about how to wake her and break the news. Deciding to wake Elsa as gently as possible, she leaned down to start kissing Elsa's sensitive neck.

"Wake up, Elsa," she cooed. "I need you to get up, Sis."

Groaning loudly, she stretched out, then blinked up at Anna with a half-scowl. "Wha… what's wrong?"

"Sorry, Elsa," Anna sighed, "but our good friend Aurora asked for a pick up; she gave us an hour to get there." She grit her teeth in irritation at the audacity of her next statement, feeling anger bubbling forward: "She also stressed just how much of a bad idea it would be if we ignored her."

It took a few seconds for her to string together a few thoughts, but when she did, Elsa was looking just as irritated. "Oh… oh, that annoying-" Pushing a hand into her face, she hissed, "This can't keep going like this. I don't want to be a slave."

"I know what you mean," Anna glared over at the wall but her fingers gently scratched Elsa's scalp in an attempt to soothe her. "We'll figure something out though Elsa, I promise. She can't hold this above our heads forever."

"I hope you're right." But the platinum blonde didn't sound particularly hopeful.

It didn't take them long to get out to the car, and to plug the address Aurora had sent into Anna's GPS app so they could be on their way. The two sisters continued to yawn the whole while, rubbing sleep from their eyes to better focus on their task — especially Elsa, who was driving. Anna hated this. They should be curled up together still, sleeping peacefully in anticipation for their single day off but instead, they were out in the middle of nowhere to pick up Aurora and her little clique from who knows what.

She frowned as she remembered what Aurora said, about a friend not feeling so hot… what did that even mean? "Elsa, do you know a Megara?"

"Hm?" she asked as they entered the little town proper. "Oh… yeah, she's another counselor. Long brown hair? She's not very social with the rest of us but she's alright most of the time. Why?"

"Aurora said she wasn't feeling very well, that's all…" Anna's brow furrowed slightly. "What do you think they are doing out here so late?"

That earned her a harsh laugh from Elsa. "Well… I might be wrong, because I certainly have no experience with those kind of things. But I would guess they're up to no good."

And when they arrived at the address, that seemed to be the case. It was a house, and loud music was coming from inside; loud enough that they could hear it very easily once they opened their car doors. Elsa pocketed her keys and grimaced up at the front steps. "Oh, great…"

"Right? This is definitely not where bible camp counselors should be in the middle of the… night." A look of mischief suddenly crossed Anna's face as she had an idea. "Yeah… it's really not, is it? How about that?" As discreetly as possible, she lifted her phone and snapped a few pictures and took a quick video, making sure to roll down the window to catch the 'soul corrupting' music.

"What?" Elsa called out, then spotting Anna's phone. "What are you doing?"

"I think I know how to get us out of our annoying situation."

"Huh?! Were you taking a video just now? I don't-"

"You'll see," Anna said softly with a little smirk. "But you can't give me away, alright?" Rolling her eyes in resignation, Elsa simply sent a text to Aurora instead of confronting Anna about her idea.

Soon enough, the girls began to stumble out of the house, some of them with their dresses askew or shoes clutched in their hands. Meg was the only one who looked like she hated everything about life, but the others were also clearly through partying and ready to get back to camp. Anna took a few more pictures, making sure to get a shot of each girl when they weren't paying much attention to her. Snow looked the worst off, with her dress stained and hair looking messy and sloppily done up, while Aurora looked the best of the group; though her stagger and unfocused gaze made it clear she had her fair share of drinks. Anna's smirk grew with every shot she took.

"What took you so long?" Aurora demanded at Elsa as she climbed into the back seat and shut the door. "Seriously, that was much longer than an hour!"

"It was shorter than an hour," Elsa scoffed as she and Belle helped Megara in through the other back door. "You're too drunk to tell time."

"Don't judge us," Belle said in a tone that clearly conveyed she was a little embarrassed and ashamed of herself. "Please? Just drive us back."

Anna started a video on her phone and placed the phone into the cup holder beside her. "So… is this where you girls have been all day instead of helping us with the kids?"

"Shut up," Megara slurred, before falling over against Snow's shoulder. Grimacing, the shorter girl pushed her back in the other direction so she leaned against Aurora.

"Yes," Belle sighed. She seemed to be the most sober of the four of them. "But don't worry about it, okay? It's none of your business, just… I'd like to go back to the cabin and forget a lot of things I saw tonight."

"Why would you care, anyway?" Aurora growled at her. "You guys are just supposed to do what you're told, understand that? No questions."

Anna shrugged. "I wouldn't peg you guys as the type to party, that's all," she said easily. "This is definitely against camp policy."

"Guyyys, keep it downnn," Megara groaned, flinching. "I think… something was in that Jack-and-Coke… besides whiskey…" She shivered like she might vomit, but then was able to hold it down.

"Throw up in my car and you will walk home!" Elsa snapped.

Aurora looked like she wanted to retort but she simply closed her eyes and leaned back against her seat while Snow drunkenly rubbed Megara's back. Anna simply snickered to herself, highly amused and pleased by the situation.

"Wait, don't go that way," Snow said, leaning forward in between the two front seats, pointing at the windshield. "You… wanna take the road on the right! Yeah…"

Anna was hit by the stench of alcohol and wrinkled her nose in distaste. She looked over at Snow to tell her to back off when something on the collar of Snow's dress caught her attention. A very particular white splotch, too thick in consistency to be a beer or food stain. There was a small, dried patch on Snow's chin, too… small enough to be unnoticed in the others' drunken states. Anna decided to take a shot in the dark.

"Looks like you had an interesting romp, eh, Snow?"

The brief silence that fell over the car spoke volumes. After a few seconds, Snow sat back, face flushed and eyes pointing downward in shame.

"Don't give her grief," Belle snapped. "She wasn't really ready for that but wanted to 'try new things'."

"Grief for what?" Elsa asked, too distracted by her driving to understand what had gone on. Anna wanted to feel bad for the ravenette. She really did. However, Anna knew that if she didn't latch onto this, then she and Elsa would be stuck obeying these girls for the rest of the week under the threat of blackmail… and if Aurora decided to talk anyway, then it could destroy her beloved sister's reputation and leave her devastated.

'They have no qualms doing it to me… to Elsa! So why should I beat myself up about levelling the playing field?' At that, Anna stiffened her back, reached for her phone and without warning or hesitation, she turned, zoomed in and took a last picture; a very clear one of Snow. Everything from the shame on her face to the stains was visible and left nothing to the imagination.

Aurora let out an angry "What did you just do?!" and tried to lunge for Anna's phone — however, the redhead tucked it in her pants pocket and gave Aurora a look.

"Sit down if you don't want us to crash," she ordered. Aurora reluctantly sat back in her seat with an angry huff.

"Did you really take a picture?" Belle demanded, too shocked to be truly angry. "Seriously?!"

"Oh no," Snow breathed as what was going on started to catch up to her. "Oh no, oh no, oh no…"

Any pride Anna had for this plan fled at the horror on Snow's face and she was left with a crushing guilt at what she was about to do. However, the overprotectiveness she felt for Elsa outweighed the guilt in the end. She turned to her sister and said, "Elsa, stop the car, please."

Though she looked a little surprised, all she did was say "Alright" and began to guide the car toward the nearest curb, putting it in park.

"What are you doing?" Belle asked. "We have to get back so we can try to get some sleep!"

Anna ignored Belle's question and the uncomfortable twist of guilt in her stomach. "I want you all to listen to me very closely. That picture I just took? That wasn't the only one. I've been taking pictures and videos since me and Elsa pulled up at the house."

Aurora's eyes widened in slight terror at the unspoken implication. It was Megara who first managed to groan, "Are… you fucking with me right now?"

"Picture…" Snow glanced down at her shirt, then pushed a hand into her eyes. "Oh noooo…"

"My phone is filled with solid evidence of what you've all been up to today," Anna continued. "Now, if I were to hand these in to Father Frollo… well, I can imagine it wouldn't be a very good thing, now would it? He may be forced to call your parents about this." Anna tried to keep the unsteadiness out of her voice. "I don't think they'd be very happy, would they?"

Aurora's face turned pale but she snarled, "I'll just tell him what you and Elsa were up to, then! He'll never-"

"Who do you think he's going to believe?" she interrupted. "An accusation with no real proof or…" She gave her phone a little shake in the other's directions. She saw Aurora tense to lunge, so she drew it back very quickly. "And it would just make you look that much worse, accusing me and Elsa of something just to make us look bad for ratting you out."

"I told you this was a stupid idea," Belle hissed at her friends. "But no, no, you wanted to have a 'slave'!"

"I didn't want any slaves," Snow protested, looking stricken by the accusations. "I j-just figured Aurora knew what she was doing…"

"Listen to how upset Snow is," Aurora flung at the girls in the front seats. "How can you stomach what you're-"

"SAVE IT!" Elsa finally burst out, having heard enough. "Of course I don't want to upset Snow, or do anything like this! But Anna has a point — you started this when you decided you were going to blackmail Anna and I for… for something that isn't any of your business! So you can just… just shut the fuck up!"

Elsa herself was the first one to gasp when she heard herself swear that way. Anna stared at Elsa, momentarily stunned, before a dark blush rose up in her cheeks and she had to swallow to dampen her suddenly dry throat. 'That was… really hot.' She was very thankful that it was dark so no one saw the heated glance she gave Elsa before she cleared her throat so she could continue.

"In conclusion, ladies, we are no longer going to take orders from you. And if you try to squeal to Father Frollo about anything, just remember which one of us has the actual power to ruin lives." Anna sighed and ran her hand through her bangs. "I'm not a bitch, guys… so long as you leave us alone and don't try anything stupid, I won't turn these in or run my mouth, I promise. I don't want to hurt you, but you are threatening us and I don't take being bullied very well."

"How do we know you will keep that promise!?" Aurora demanded to know, desperate to seize control of the situation.

"Will you give it a rest already?" Belle snapped at her. Then she turned to Anna. "Alright… I do think you're kind of a bitch, but at the same time, I get it. We got caught up in this idea of 'teaching you a lesson' and… getting a few favours along the way, and…" She squirmed.

"You forgot we were humans with feelings," Elsa supplied, having calmed down a little more. "Well, now you know what it feels like to be threatened with humiliation. I hope you won't forget."

"We won't," Snow whispered, clearly feeling pure shame by the way her blotchy cheeks were burning.

Clapping her hands together, Anna cried out, "Great! Glad we're all on the same page. Now let's get back to camp and forget about all of this!"

The redhead fell back into her seat and let out a long exhale, looking exhausted and frustrated despite the fact that they won the argument. She crossed her arms over her chest and looked out the window as Elsa put the car back in 'drive' and pulled away from the curb, trying to will her stomach to stop churning with guilt and self-disgust.

'God, what would Papa say to what I just did?'

                                                               To Be Continued…

#bind us together lord #pankite #forkanna writes #elsanna fanfiction #toronto #forkanna the writer

[buttercream-squad-imagines]

Can’t Hurt You Anymore » Joe Sugg

Request: Idk if u r still doing it but for the Drabble challenge how about 18, 36, and 2 with joe sugg xoxo I love ur writing!!!

WARNING: MENTIONS OF RAPE AND ABUSE

You were just seven years old when it all began — your parents had just gotten divorced and after struggling through custody battles for you and your older brother, you were left in the care of your dad whilst Y/B/N went to stay with your mum. It wasn’t long, though until your dad fell into the habit of drinking and through their mutual love for alcohol, he met the woman who would become your step-mum.

You lost contact with your biological mum and brother and any mention of the two was forbidden in the Y/L/N’s household; if you spoke of them, you would be harshly punished.

Things went from bad to worse when were 10 and with no protection from the malicious corrupt world, nor your guardians, you soon slipped into a life of torture and abuse.

The first time your dad had hit you was the day he got fired from his job; you had just arrived home from school to your intoxicated father, your mood already damp when you had accidentally triggered an outburst of anger by smashing a glass.

You were 11 when he touched you in the wrong way for the first time; he was scarily gentle and told you that you were growing up so fast. Never could you imagine how much those words would haunt you.

On the night of your 12th birthday, the one man you were meant to trust, the one who would protect you from harm, stole your innocence and in turn, stole any trust you had for men.

You were 12 and a half when you met Jack, who was in the year above you. Finn, a renowned bully in your year had taken it upon himself to make your life extra torturous one day and just as he was about to turn things physical, Jack stepped in and protected you. As the rest of the school year went by, you grew to trust the older boy and eventually spilled your deep, dark secret, although he swore after constant begging not to tell a soul.

You met the rest of the Maynard’s not long after and you found yourself often seeking refuge from you monstrous father and his equally malicious wife at their house. You began to trust the Maynard family after learning that they were just as, if not more loving than Jack, who had quickly become your best, albeit your only, friend.

One day at school, your class was educated in sexual intercourse and relating topics, and you discovered that what your father was doing to you in no world was right. That night, you were over the Maynard’s as per usual when you asked Helen, Jack’s mum if you could speak to her alone.

Then and there, you explained everything to the older woman and by the end you were a sobbing mess. You yearned for a loving family like Jack’s; you wanted what he had — happiness, an emotional impossibility for you with the life you led.

Helen comforted you and when you were calm, she convinced you to go to the police. You were terrified of what would happen to you, whether your father would beat you and leave you for dead or you’d have the Maynard’s, Jack taken away from you.

“What about Y/N mum? Where will she go if her parents are behind bars?” Jack asked. You placed your ear against the door when you heard your name. “Will she have to live with her mum?”

“Jack…” Helen sighed. “Y/N’s mum she’s… her and Y/N’s brother died in a car accident two weeks ago.” Helen told him gently making you gasp. You felt tears well up in your eyes and you stumbled into the room.

“Mum and Y/B/N are d-dead?” You cried.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry honey.” Helen cooed pulling you into her chest.

You never got to see your mum or brother again nor were you allowed to their funeral as it clashed with the court case. After three long months of battling against you dad and step-mum, they pleaded guilty and your dad was sentenced to 25 years in prison for aggravated rape on multiple occasions and child abuse, whilst your step-mum would be imprisoned for just 10 years for child abuse.

Although you were relieved it was all over, all you could think about now was where you would go. You heart was racing when you were brought into a room where you sat for what felt like three hours which in reality was more like 10 minutes. Two adults, a man and a woman entered and began explaining to you what was going to happen to you now that you had no legal guardian.

As soon as you were allowed, you burst out of the room in search of your best friend but only finding the icy blue eyes of his brother.

“Conor?” You cried. His stern exterior melted away when he saw you and immediately engulfed you in a bone-crushing hug that was full of warmth and love. “I don’t want to leave you all. You’re my family. Please don’t let them take me away.”

“They aren’t going to take you away.” He told you gently.

“How do you know that for sure?” You asked him sniffling but you were interrupted by Helen.

“Well?” Conor spoke hopefully to his mum.

“Y/N, how would you feel to become an honorary Maynard?” She smiled softly.

“R-really?” You gasped. Helen nodded. In less than two months, the entire process was complete and your name had legally been changed to Y/N Maynard. Jack and Anna were over the moon with the decision, and you fit in perfectly — it was like you were made to be a Maynard.

The years passed by and life got better; Conor began posting covers to YouTube and got noticed by NeYo, and here he was now, he had released an album and had over 4 million subscribers, Anna was happily getting on with her life and was studying at sixth form, whilst Jack had started YouTube, like Conor but his videos were different to his brother’s and a couple of months ago, he had hit a million subscribers.

Then there was you.

You always dreamed big and after finishing school at the top of your class, surpassing most of your teachers’ limitations, you went on to study maths at university level to become a teacher.

There was one massive thing that had changed in you life though, and his name was Joe. You had met him through Jack and Conor and albeit slowly, you became close friends, which eventually blossomed into a relationship between you.

There was one thing you were just not ready for though, and that was to have sex again. Joe was never pushy about it but you knew that men had needs; you learnt that growing up with Jack and Conor, and you were terrified Joe would get his satisfaction elsewhere.

One night, the two of you were snuggled up in bed when Joe began planting kisses on your neck, nipping at it. You moaned as he hit your sweet spot and felt him tugging at your top but you pushed him away. You felt extremely overwhelmed and flashbacks of your childhood ran through your head, your eyes filling with tears that threatened to fall.

“What’s the matter, sweetie?” Joe asked softly.

“I’m sorry, Joe, I’m just not ready to go all the way with you.” You informed him.

“And that’s alright, love.” He reassured you. “But do you want to tell me why?”

“I-I…” You stuttered.

“It’s alright, take your time.” He told you, sliding his hand into yours.

“Jack and Conor… they…” You began but Joe cut you off.

“They what? Have they hurt you?”

“You’re just going to have to let me explain. No interruptions, got it?” You asked. He nodded. “Jack and Conor aren’t my real brothers, nor is Anna my real sister.”

“What?” Joe gasped.

“Helen and Gary adopted me when I was around 12, after my biological father and my step-mum were jailed.” You explained. “They met after my parents divorced and I was left in my dad’s custody, whilst my brother… Y/B/N, was left with my mum. They got married and they both struggled with alcoholism. They became… abusive and when I was 11, my dad started… he s-sexually abused me. I w-was 12 when he r-raped me.”

You placed your face in your hands and sobbed into them, too ashamed to look Joe in the eye.

“Jack had d-defended me from a bully once and we became friends not long after; he was the first person I told and I made him promise not to tell anyone. It was until months later I finally got the courage to tell Helen.” You continued, tears streaming down your face. “We w-went to the p-police and after two months of being on trial, they both were sent to prison. I had overheard Helen and Jack talking about where I’d go if my dad and step-mum were incarcerated and I d-discovered that my mum and my brother were killed in a car crash and I couldn’t e-even go to the funeral because of the trial.”

“That’s terrible.” Joe whispered.

“They’re monsters.” You growled, sobbing with anger. “I hope they go through what they put me through!”

“Hey, hey, calm down. They can’t hurt you anymore.” He told you. “I will always protect you, from now until the day we die.”

#Buttercream Gang #Buttercream Imagine #Buttercream Imagines #Buttercream Squad #Buttercream Squad Imagine #Imagine #Joe Sugg Imagine #Joe #Sugg #Joe Sugg #Maynard #Conor #Jack #Jack Maynard #Conor Maynard #Buttercream Gang Imagine

[exciting]

Anna!! I keep being filled with this existential dread about how like I'm only going to be me and then I'm going to die and life is so short and idk what happens when we die and!!!!! it is keeping me up at night! and people just say "find ur own meaning in life!" but obviously if it were that easy I would not be stressing over it so much!! and idk how u could help I just need to vent bc I don't want to waste time worrying when I should be enjoying!!!!! grr

It’s all good bbyg I’m here for ya! Honestly I think abt this a lot too. Like, I go to church & I feel with absolute certainty that there is a god who exists and that good feeling that comes w it is perhaps some indication of an afterlife, but at the same time, sometimes I have days and weeks and months where I stay home and live in my own world with no meaning, and maybe all that exists after is oblivion, lack of existence, but I think I don’t mind either way? I don’t remember life before I was born, or maybe I remember it in a way I can never comprehend here, and I don’t suppose I will remember life after I die, which will inevitably happen, and that concept doesn’t scare me? Because when I was a child I was SO set on having a direction in life, and maybe we have grown up as a generation infected with apathy but I have realized in recent years that it doesn’t matter, none of it! And of course it’s good to have direction or do something with your life, but it doesn’t particularly matter if you are good, or bad - indeed, I do not think that either concept exists in any tangible form, rather it is a more fluid and blurry thing, objective, of course! And life is so short but it is also so long, you have countless moments and honestly the wonder of it all is incredible, your atoms rearrange themselves immeasurable times throughout your existence, and the universe shifts and passes through you because it is itself fluid, and the more I think of it, the more I believe that the less I know, the better, because it is all very well chasing all the knowledge of the universe and I still hunger for the passion I had as a child, but were I to have all of that information, I am not sure what I would do with it, and I am not sure what good it would do! Sometimes jusr existing is enough, and something I do believe is that somewhere inside each of us, we are perhaps aware of what it means to be alive, and maybe even what it was before and what it will be after. I don’t know if it in intuition, or maybe the remnants of all the places our atoms have been before, or divine intervention, but surely there is something inside us all that knows and tells us so, and I think it is far too indescribable to put into words, but I think it is the truth of what happens and what we are here for? Or maybe it isn’t and everything is coincidence, but regardless, life moves on and we grow and all you can do is live and exist and do something to pass the time, and minimize the worry you have, because what good does that do! I don’t know, I think I am just venting back to you, stream of consciousness? Maybe none of this made sense but it will all pass in an instant anyway!

#Anonymous