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chaosismynamemf · 1 year

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Aph America, my beloved (Yes, I'm aware that the Fandoms I love are all over the place. I'm very aware)

ok so, I love the idea of as well as America as a whole, all 50 states are personified as well. I also adore the song "talk to me" by Cavetown being sung by America.

So I propose, America hanging out with someone at his house (I always imagine England but that detail is up to yall) and while he doesn't try to hide the fact that he has 50 children in the form of his states, the states keep to themselves most days (especially when people are over) and no one ever asks about the obvious evidence that America lives with a bunch of other people.

Anyways America and England are hangin out and its night time and all the states should be asleep but then someone calls America's name and America's like all chill and whatnot like yea whats up little dude? but ofc England's like ??? Who???

America ignores England's confusion bc yes. And low and behold one of the states runs up and is like I had a nightmare and due to plot purposes America's like oh I'm sorry, hun. Lemme take ya back to bed and sing you a song. And the states like no, sing down here and he's like ight and badda Bing badda boom America sings talk to me and takes the state back to bed.

TL;DR America is best boy and sings talk to me by Capetown to the states in order to calm them down

#aph america headcanon #alfred f jones #america #hetalia #hetalia headcanons #aph states #50 States headcanons #headcanon

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moonami · 2 months

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Meep meep

I know Yao should be the one with the most trained body bc of his martial artist background, but the idea that he's insanely strong yet doesn't have big muscles to show off is funny.

Alfred is still obsessed with his weight yet won't stop eating fast food, so he tries to compensate it by going to the gym...To build muscles to show off only, he doesn't need to train actual strength? He's already superhuman thank u.

And Ivan...He stores fat for the winter, it does a funny jiggle jiggle(don't u dare to point out his tummy's jiggle physics or it is Joever)

#aph russia #ivan braginsky #aph america #alfred f jones #aph china #wang yao #yao wang #hetalia #ヘタリア #hetalia fanart #Reddish Afternoon #<?#hetalia headcanons #black triangle trio

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gremlins-hotel · 11 months

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From the notes of Capt. Alfred Jones: "Davie was a bus and the 'Flying Fortress' moniker seemed to pass her by, but it was a ship with a brave crew. The trudge of getting back to England from enemy territory is a story for another day. I miss her and sometimes I miss the boys we lost that day."

-✪- -✪- -✪-

B-17F "Dear Davie": *U.S. Army Model B-17F-65-BO Air Corps Serial No. 42-29670 Delivered Cheyenne 31/1/43; Pueblo 18/2/43; Salina 15/2/43; Brookley 19/3/43; Smoky Hill 23/3/43; Dow Field 18/4/43. Assigned to the 333rd Bomb Squadron/94th Bomb Group [TS-L] "DEAR DAVIE" 22/4/43; Missing in Action near Hamburg 25/7/43 with Alfred "Comet" Jones, **Co-Pilot: Daryl "Speed" Reed, Navigator: Richard Reed, Bombardier: Charlie Marstaller; Radio Operator: Johnathan Graves, Flight Engineer/Top Turret Gunner: Clyde "Pepsi" Ray, Ball Turret Gunner: William Ortlieb, Waist Gunner: Leslie Lipsey, Waist Gunner: Paul Rapoport, Tail Gunner: Thomas Pugh (6 Killed in Action); "DEAR DAVIE" lost to flak/anti-aircraft fire, crashing near Uetersen, 15 miles NW of Hamburg, Germany.

-✪- -✪- -✪-

[nerd things & acknowledgements below cut]

Notes on the B-17F... The B-17F was an upgrade of the previous E model, with several notable changes: A one- or two-piece plexiglas nose cone, as opposed to the ten-paneled cone of previous versions. Reinforced landing gear allowed for a greater maximum payload, from 4,200 lb (1,900 kg) of ordnance to 8,000 lb (3,600 kg). Flight and combat range of the F model was improved by 900 mi (1,400 km) with the addition of nine self-sealing rubber fuel cells in the wing root, aka, "Tokyo tanks". The F model was generally characterized by being tail-heavy - which lead to part failure - and woefully undefended from the front; the early F models had no front-facing armament, leaving a 60° blind spot to the direct front of the aircraft - a flaw which was exploited by German pilots, who held air superiority. Later F models would see a list of possible available modifications (factory and field) such as inserting two .50 caliber machine guns into the nose cone to solve the blind spot. Other modifications to later F models were bulged cheek turrets, as opposed to the window-mounted guns of earlier iterations, and the available addition of the iconic "Bendix" chin turret. The chin turret is far more common on the subsequent G "gunship" variant. ("Dear Davie" is an early F model without the nose mount, bulged cheeks, or chin turret.)

*This model production block, serial no., and fate are borrowed from real-life B-17F #42-29670, "Thundermug." "Thundermug" was an aircraft that originally served in the 333rd Bomb Squadron/94th Bomb Group alongside my great-grandfather and his usual steed, "The Gremlins Hotel." It was transferred to the 544th BS/384th BG, at which point it went Missing in Action over Hamburg from flak/aa-fire; 8 of its crew became POWs while 2 were KIA. I have had the honor to speak to descendants of both of its crews and help them research "Thundermug"; I wish to voice a mere glimpse of their stories in a unique way.

**All names of Alfred's crew are either cobbled-together family names throughout our history here or entirely fictitious - though some were inspired by real people whom I grew up with stories of. All inspirations were individuals that lived good lives post-war.

#alpha romeo tango #gremlin's things with wings #alfred f. jones // daring to fly #hetalia #historical hetalia #hetalia headcanons #aph america #hws america #alfred f jones #hey guys crucify me if you must #i'm really proud of this drawing #but i also understand it's pretty nerdy and the headcanon does deal with something a little tragic #but i'm hurling this to tumblr motherless and fatherless for your judgment #this took a few hours haha #love you guys for real #i really love bombers guys sorry for being autistic on main

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goldenstarprincesses · 6 months

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Imagine nations having something really embarrassing happen to them. It could result in a death or simply be a whacky dare that they are forced to do.

They go on with their life thinking "wow, sure am glad no one saw that happen!"

Only to be flipping through the channels one night, some years or even decades later, to find out an entire Unsolved Mysteries episode about it. In horror, they quickly Google it. Only to find out an entire Reddit page dedicated to it, hundreds of YouTube videos, and TikTok's with millions of views.

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jnjzksekfjvn · 16 days

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he looks like a sperm cell

#hetalia #hws #aph hetalia #hws america #hetalia fandom #hetalia memes #alfred f jones #hetalia hcs #hetalia headcanons #america

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arumidden · 8 months

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Hetalians, what do you think of your country’s portrayal?

Please reblog with your country and any explanations you have! I love to hear what people think!

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ask-nyc-boroughs · 1 month

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Early Appalachian frontiersman Alfred in buckskin circa 1790- 1810s. I’m trying to figure out how to paint like NC Wyeth digitally (so lol the background is Wyeth’s).

Gonna ramble a bit about my nor’easter au and Alfred below the cut

Following the American Revolution, Alfred is immediately sent out to squash any rebellions (like whiskey rebellion) and to partake in wars against Indigenous nations like the Cherokee. I’ll save a discussion about the Cherokee wars for another time because that’ll take a long time to explain + I’m still working on my Cherokee oc and I need to understand Cherokee history and perspective more before I go forward with talking about this topic.

Now the many of the east coast states are older than Alfred, and they mostly supported him during the revolution because they thought he’d be easy to control given at the time of the revolution he wasn’t tied down as any colony or city. However, he was a New Englander and very obviously so

He was once Plymouth colony and he grew up alongside his cousin Henry/Massachusetts, but by the time the revolution occurred, his status was unclear and he was simply living with his cousin (who’s his earliest and most fierce supporter) .

These states operated like countries and part of why the had the revolution was to continue to self-govern and maintain their regional cultures. It’s also part of why the federal government initially was rather weak. Given Alfred’s closeness to his cousin, and his very staunch New England identity, I think the states would be hesitant over a strong New England national control. And so I think they especially Jennie/NY & Rich/Virginia encouraged Alfred to leave his cousin for a while, and partake in military campaigns (+ he was good at battle).

Also Alfred was like 14, and I don’t think he’s ever been the type to sit down and do paperwork. Honestly he was always a bad student, who was far more interested in the outdoors, horses, sailing and hunting. While he won the war, and he was fine with being head of state, he still didn’t 1) have confidence in himself to make non-military related decisions 2) he just wasn’t mentally ready to take on the responsibilities and was fine deferring it to his states like Jennie, Rich, or Henry to figure out matters that weren’t military related. He was irresponsible and it would come back to bite him in the ass during the Civil War.

Alfred on a personal level it was probably good for him to get away from his overly critical cousin who can be overbearing, but also so he would get more experience to deeply get to know his states.

Also Alfred, growing up in New England, he was a little ball of rage as a kid and he has a difficult time managing his emotions. He wasn’t exactly the personable seemingly fun loving Alfred of the present. Not that he couldn’t crack a joke, but ok I’m not from New England, but in the northeast I find we’re rather cynical, un-filtered and sarcastic and tbh kind of asssholes in the way we have fun and in our humor. That’s how he was, which is like fine unless you’re trying to appeal to the rest of the nation lol which he would have to

I think his time spent in Appalachia and the south did help him learn more about his other states especially Maisie/ North Carolina. But also helped him learn more how to let go some of this intense New England rage, and how to better control his emotions. But also let loose in a way that isn’t so dark and cynical. Also I think this helped him slowly learn how to speak with less of a New England specific accent

He was also able to observe states like Rich and Carl/ South Carolina and gain an understanding of how being able to control your emotions, can help control your image and how others perceive you. So these are the origins of how he slowly began to shape and become at least in public this overly friendly happy go lucky Alfred.

I’ll save a discussion about his interactions with the Appalachian states more explicitly another time I’m just tired😴 fr rn

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myrddin-wylt · 11 months

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I like depicting Alfred as charming, but not really in an obvious way. you meet him as a stranger and he's very friendly and considerate and polite; he helps you move your luggage or offers to his hand to help you up or holds the door open. he calls service workers "sir." you're not used to chatting with random strangers but you're clearly not going anywhere anyway and he seems so interested in you personally, what your life is like, what do you like, just little details no stranger really cares about. he's a little loud, sorta- it's more like he doesn't mind if anyone overhears him, so it's clear he doesn't make a habit of gossip, nor does he expect anyone to shame him for his opinions, as evidently it would be equally unthinkable for him to shame anyone else.

I just really like an Alfred who's charismatic and draws people in with nothing but courtesy and good manners. It's funny, too, comparing Alfred's courtesy and politeness against Arthur's. Arthur is every bit a gentleman but he is not kind, nor does he pretend to be. Arthur is courteous, but in an obviously imperious way. to Arthur, good manners are a sign of sophistication and good breeding- status, essentially. to Alfred, good manners are a sign of kindness and, oddly enough, ambition. opportunity. resourcefulness. a person who scoffs at everyone and declines to build bridges is not a person who wants to go very far in life.

in any case it's particularly fun to imagine Alfred like this at various points in history, because the newly independent, ultra-polite farmer and political philosopher comes off very differently than the generous and courteous Gilded Age business magnate. and both come off as a stark contrast to Arthur, for whom manners are sometimes the only thing keeping his temper and arrogance in check.

late 19th century Alfred in particular is great because he's such an openly ambitious, selfish piece of shit but he's also so damn charming and polite that most people simply don't notice. also he's found out that the more generous he is, the more wealth and power think he has and the more they want to work with him, so it becomes a self-feeding cycle.

side hc: during the Gilded Age, Alfred personally becomes hella fucking rich. it just makes his interactions with the 'old rich' Arthur and family so interesting. Lord Father may be the one with the empire, but it can't be denied that Mr. Jones does just fine for himself, and in fact does apparently better than his aristocratic family members.

#hetalia headcanons #hetalia hcs #historical hetalia #hetalia headcanon #hetalia hc #ratman and ratson #tldr: Alfred is polite because he's a good boy but also an ambitious shit #Arthur is polite because if he weren't he would've killed everyone in this room and then himself already #hws america #aph america #alfred f jones

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hwsing · 1 year

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giving head

warnings/notes: 18+, reader is afab and gender neutral. includes: england (arthur kirkland), america (alfred f. jones), france (francis bonnefoy), n.italy (feliciano vargas). as always, reblogs are appreciated

arthur kirkland

while arthur can be an awfully impatient man, he’s quick to slow as he lowers himself to be eye-level with your cunt. he’s the type to nearly drool as he spreads your legs, watching your cunt spread, just for him. he’ll look up to meet your gaze before gently blowing on your clit, his cock twitching in his pants at the way you shudder.

arthur loves to go down on you. despite being all ‘prim and proper,’ he loves a mess; and so, he loves to make you a mess, too. if you let him, there are nights where he’ll give you multiple orgasms through oral alone, ignoring the ache in his cock as you moan out and clamp your thighs around his head. he’ll suck on your clit, his tongue rubbing against it before wondering lower, prodding at your hole; he’ll tongue fuck you, licking against your walls until his tongue hurts. arthur will force your legs apart, wrapping his hands around your thighs as your cunt drools; don’t worry! he’ll clean up after. really, he doesn’t mind at all.

actually, if he’s given permission to be a bit more mean towards you, he’ll tease you for making a mess — he loves to bully you a bit. he’ll even nip or slap your clit if you talk back to him! when you squeak or whine at the pain, he’ll remind you that as long as you behave, he’ll help you cum. he likes feeling completely responsible for your pleasure, and if you let him, he’ll restrain you to further your dependence on him in the moment.

alfred f. jones

while it’s not something that crosses his mind too often, when he has you laid out beneath him, spreading your legs to let him see your pretty pussy, he nearly gets light headed as the blood rushes to his cock at how soaked you are. he says something about how he’s gonna eat you up as he lowers his face, tongue quickly darting out to lick up between your folds.

alfred is the kind of guy who has little technique, but his passion makes up for it completely. he’ll sloppily eat you out, making disgusting slurp sounds the more wet you become; he doesn’t really get why you get so embarrassed sometimes! he loves to hear you call out his name, your hand grabbing at his hair to pull him closer to your cunt. he’ll grin against you, determined to rock your world.

really, really, really likes when you sit on his face. what do you mean you’ll crush him? please, he’s way stronger than he looks, trust him! he’ll grip your hips and force you to lower yourself on his face, humming as you make such pretty noises. this is his favourite way to eat you out; the angle is perfect, and you have no way to push his head away and interrupt him. as long as you let him, he’ll totally get his full from this.

francis bonnefoy

believes that pleasure is a form of art, through and through; he has an intimidating amount of experience, and is quick to discover what you like. whatever your preferences are, francis is more than capable of providing them. he’ll pay close attention to what makes your head spin; experimenting with how to toy with your clit (do you like when he sucks on it softly, or when he practically tries to milk it? do you prefer circular or side-side motions? do you like a slow build up with sudden fast movements?). whatever you like, he’s bound to figure it out, and when he does, he’ll be almost relentless.

he does like to kitten lick, though. truth be told, he does like to tease you, just a bit; he simply wants to hear just how much you want more. he’ll comply the moment you ask, don’t worry! after all, he must reward you for speaking up!

after spending time between your legs, he finds that the smell of you lingers in his scruff. it’s faint, but, he soaks it in — a reminder of your night together. it arouses him so, but he’s patient to wait until next time. he’ll tell you about how much he craves you, how good you taste, how your smell teases him the following day; it’d be cruel to not let him have another taste, no?

feliciano vargas

feliciano prefers receiving, however, don’t let that fool you; he knows his way around your cunt like the back of his hand. he thinks it’s only natural to! he loves you, and loves to make you feel good. he’ll stay between your legs as long as you want him to, more than happy to be of use to you.

this is 100% about you; all he wants is for you to enjoy yourself and get off. the moment you ask, he’s already nudging you towards a place when you can sit down while he falls to his knees, spreading your legs. he’ll sensually lick your clit, swirling his tongue around your bud before wrapping his plump lips around it. he’ll gather spit in his mouth and let it drool down your cunt as he plays with your clit, your sounds of pleasure being music to his ears. he’ll do anything you tell him to do — but, it should be noted that you don’t necessarily have to. he knows what he’s doing; leave it to him, and he’ll bring you up to cloud nine with ease.

feliciano loves when you yank him off your cunt with your hand gripping his hair; he’ll look up at you with his lower face positively drenched, a small grin and lazy eyes meeting yours. “no more, tesoro?” he’ll ask softly, and when you calm down and steady your breath, sheepishly dragging him back to your cunt slowly, he’ll happily reach out, his neck extending to get closer faster, his tongue already darting out to get to your cunt.

#hetalia #hetalia x reader #my work #hetalia x you #aph hetalia #hetalia hc #hetalia headcanons #aph england #england x reader #aph america #america x reader #aph france #france x reader #aph italy #aph north italy #north italy x reader #italy x reader #hws hetalia #hws

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504py · 6 months

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could i please request a crying alfred? please and thank you sm!!! <333

(don't ask why, it's a weird sort of comfort ;-;)

don’t worry anon, i gotcha!! thanks for requesting!

i hc that when alfred cries, he tries his best to force a smile on, because it wouldn’t be very “heroic” of him to cry, i suppose. if someone were in his vicinity while he cries, which is very rare in itself, he gets very ashamed and tries his best to hide it. tried to go for that vibe here.

#aph america #hws america #hetalia america #alfred f jones #hetalia fanart #hetalia headcanons #hetalia #🫧#asks

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mystybird · 1 year

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i really think part of the reason alfred comes off as so intense is that he’s not used to the fact he doesn’t HAVE to yell anymore. i’ve imagined he’s always had to fight for a seat at the table; to be a nation, to be taken seriously, to not be disregarded as a child who doesn’t know any better.. now that he’s grown into his power and definitely not that kid anymore, i don’t think he’s realized he doesn’t have to fight just to be seen anymore. he comes in intense and at 100 because that was the only way he was ever heard and struggles to dial it back when he’s passionate.

#Alfred f jones #hetalia headcanons #hetalia #aph america #HWS america #hetalia world stars

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hetalia-club · 5 months

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One of my America head canons is that I think he pretends that he doesn’t actually need his glasses. He says he’s like Clark Kent and wears them to look cool. But actually he’s near legally blind without them. Like Velma from scooby doo. If he drops them he can’t even find them and sometimes he will have to call secret service over to find them for him.

Canada is the one who doesn’t actually need them he just wears them for aesthetic.

#hetalia #hws america #hws Canada #aph Canada #aph america #alfred f. jones #matthew williams #hetalia headcanons

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panda-panoptic · 6 months

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Reworking Alfred’s entire character

I’m obsessed with this stupid son of a bitch, let’s get into it

I think too many people make him too uwu nice and forgiving as if most Americans don’t hold life long grudges over a ball game. Or that we can’t be serious at the drop of a hat when it comes down to it. Like when we say fuck around and find out we mean it, which apparently that’s a very American thing. Yes the dumb bitch stereotype is real, but there’s such a “you’re joking right?” attitude among people when it comes to certain things that I think he could go from playful to serious in a second, to the point where it might trip some people up. Especially when it comes to moral issues.

Also I hate that him being super obsessed with his image and how he’s seen by others is interpreted as sad uwu emo boy instead of clean girl maniac Patrick Bateman type of egotistical freak.

He should also be more apathetic and serious about work instead of “omg let’s build a ladder to the moon!” You have not set foot in this capitalistic hellscape if you think that’s an accurate way to characterize him lmao.

On top of that, he’s a fake ass bitch and that should be expanded on. Like he is definitely the type of person that has a million different ways of presenting himself and his personality to the point where he’s not sure who he really is.

He should be a lot more ego driven too. Like “how is this going to reflect on ME” not “I’m doing this ONLY out of the goodness of my big heart uwu”. Not that he can’t or doesn’t care, but if it reflects well on him then he’s more likely to choose that option.

Anyway, this is just some of my thoughts, im sure I’ll add more in the future

(If you characterize him differently that’s fine this is just me rambling and being obsessed)

#hetalia #aph hetalia #aph #hws #hws hetalia #hetalia world stars #aph america #hetalia world series #hws america #axis powers hetalia #hetalia america #alfred freedom jones #alfred f. jones #alfred f jones #hetalia alfred #hetalia headcanon #hetalia headcanons #character interpretation

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goldenstarprincesses · 3 months

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I like to imagine that anytime social media slap fights go to far or humans start panicking about international relations because they don't understand the relationships that exist between nations, the nations are forced to put out formal press releases.

But half the time the press releases, even after many edits by political communication professionals, have undeniable snark because nations don't like doing them.

#im sorry I have public knowledge AU brainrot. When real stuff gives hetalia vibes #hws america #nyo america #hetalia #alfred f jones #hws england #arthur kirkland #aph england #public knowledge au #hetalia axis powers #hetalia headcanon #hetalia AU #hws #aph #aph hetalia

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unhetalia · 16 days

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I cannot see Arthur as anything other than a horny wolf in gentlesheep's clothing. He's always in impeccable, tailored suits and he tuts over Alfred showing up in jeans and a pastel pink cropped hoodie but he'll still step forward to open a door for him ... and then checks out his ass when Alfred walks through.

But despite being a raging pervert and horndog, he doesn't come out and ask people to fuck. It's all a series of rituals involving smirking and making subtle but pointed innuendos until his target is red in the face and desperate for him. Then he makes a comment about bathrooms or heading off back to his hotel. His success rate is nearly a hundred percent. NEARLY, because —

Alfred is the complete opposite of Arthur. He's no distinguished gentleman - prefers jeans and hoodies and his beaten up converse to suit and ties, and he rarely ever thinks about sex unless he's actually having it. Not that he doesn't get horny - he does! But his mind tends to be occupied with a million ideas and plans and sex is... not one of the things that'll come up in his head during the day.

It means that innuendos and flirting tend to go over his head - he can read conflict in the twitch of an eye and friendship in the tilt of a head, but sex is his blind spot.

So, unstoppable force (a horndog Arthur who gets sex without ever having to actually ask for it) meets immovable object (an Alfred who is blind to anything sexual out in the wild).

It's been one hundred years and Arthur has never succeeded in bedding Alfred.

Alfred is patiently waiting for Arthur to show him he's interested.

#ukus #usuk #hetalia world stars #hetalia world series #aph #hetalia #aph america #aph england #hws america #hws england #✎#m: hetalia #hetalia: headcanon (char)#hetalia: headcanon (ship)#s: england/america #c: england #c: america

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jnjzksekfjvn · 16 days

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fuck u lookin crazy for eat yo food bitch damn

#hetalia #hws #aph hetalia #hws america #hetalia fandom #hetalia memes #alfred f jones #hetalia hcs #hetalia headcanons

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