#at least my production professor seems to have really REALLY liked my doc as it was when I turned it in last week and liked meeting my dad | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dovechim · 4 years

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lost in the funhouse (m)

⇥ 9.7k

⇥ warnings: psychological manipulation, spitting, slight blood play, oral (both receiving) unprotected sex (y’all know to wrap it right), impregnation risk, cream pie, dirty talk, name calling, Daddy kink

tldr; prisoner Namjoon is here

⇥ a/n: if you had any plans for the Valentine’s Day weekend, throw them all out the window. Happy Valentines Day from yours truly 💌

You’re used to the world being in different shades of grey. Both in the literal and figurative sense. Everything around you is doused in that dull colour, from the austere steel gates every 20 metres, to the security guards in their grey uniforms twirling their batons and sporting the big guns. This place is crawling with security cameras, with the state-of-the-art technology designed to keep the madhouse in order.

Hope World Mental Asylum for the Criminally Insane. A slightly ironic name, seeing as one couldn’t find an inkling of hope in this place no matter how hard they tried.

The prison orderlies bow as you walk past them, and you give them a smile in greeting. The staff here are nice enough. The security guards always treat you with respect, but you’ve seen the way they rough up an inmate who steps out of line. Though you suppose they’re trained to only react that way to the criminally insane. Still, they keep order in the asylum, and with the rowdier inmates that you see, you feel a bit better knowing that they have your back, although you could never believe that any of these people would ever hurt you.

Like you said, your world isn’t black and white, and neither are these people. They come in many shades of grey, and it’s your job to see them for who they really are, not for what the world has labelled them as.

Your heels click along the concrete floor as you walk past the cells of all the inmates, braving the catcalls and hoots along the way. In your white coat that conceals your figure, you feel secure, confident, not in the least bothered by the rowdiness and lewd comments thrown at you. The pristine white of your coat stands out amongst all the grey like a blinding light, painfully out of place, and the prisoners know that. They jeer as you walk past them, but you only give them your angelic smile, greeting them and asking how they’ve been.

You are late to your 2pm slot. A last-minute scheduling, a case that has been dropped by many junior psychiatrists until it was handed to someone more senior, like you. You’d thoroughly familiarized yourself with his case file last night, but when you step inside the cell that you always use for consultations, nothing prepares you to face your newest patient.

He is not bedraggled or covered with the dirt and grime that seems to be everywhere in this place. On the contrary, his blonde hair is slicked back neatly, parted on the side and revealing his forehead. His glasses are perched high up on his nose, even his prison issued jumpsuit seems to fit his lithe frame perfectly. The grey material is pulled tight over his shoulders, rolled up to his elbows in a manner which emphasizes his biceps. The front of it has its buttons undone to reveal a thin, white undershirt that clings to his chest. The rest of his body, however, is concealed behind the desk he is sitting behind.

But what pulls you in is the look on his face. Many of your patients are often broken products of the system, some of them don’t say a single word with you during your session, others ramble on incoherently. One of your patients had a condition where they’d laugh uncontrollably every other sentence. It’s all part and parcel of your job, nothing you haven’t seen before. But this man looks… interested.

He is well put together, intelligent, bright looking eyes tracking your every movement. His hands are laced together on top of the cold metal table that might have been repurposed from an operating table. His unwavering stare unsettles you as you take your seat. For the first time since you started working in this place, you feel uncertain, like you missed that last step coming down the stairs.

For a moment, you wonder if someone looking in on this scene would be able to tell who the psychiatrist is.

“Good afternoon, Mr Kim,” you place your manila folder down on the table.

He smiles serenely at your greeting. If he is surprised at the formal way you refer to him, rather than his prisoner number, he doesn’t show it. “Hello, Doctor. Nice of you to make time for me today.”

“It’s my pleasure,” you nod at him, already even more impressed with how well-spoken he is. His voice is smooth, he sounds as if he could be giving a speech at the UN.

“You know, you have quite the reputation here,” Namjoon leans back in his seat, entirely at ease as he takes in your appearance from head to toe. His stare feels intimate, and then it occurs to you that just as you are here to evaluate him, he is appraising you as well.

“Oh really? Do tell,” you are genuinely interested now. “I figure you probably have an in with the rest here. You could really be helping me out.”

“Well.. let’s see. Graduated from college at the top of your class. Could have gone on to become a prestigious surgeon, have your own hospital and all that. But no. You chose to go into psychiatry. Chose to damn yourself, sully your pretty little self working in a place like this, just to figure out madmen like me.” Namjoon says all this in a matter of fact tone, as if he were reading an instruction manual. But the scary thing is, he is spot on. “So now you spend all your time locked up in this madhouse, talking to men who think about doing the most perverse, fucked up things to you while you sit right in front of them.”

“Is that what they say, or is that what you think?” You maintain a smile on your face. You’ve heard far worse before, but you never let any of them faze you.

“You caught me there,” Namjoon’s façade breaks into a sheepish smile. “Most of it, yeah. My assessment of you, doc. The angel in the madhouse.”

“You’re right. Mostly, anyway,” you admit with an easy shrug. “I did choose psychiatry over general surgery. You’re good at reading people.”

“It’s what a psychopath like me specializes in,” he says this easily, as if he is talking about being good at math or how quick he is at learning to ride a bike. “We read people. Just from their mannerisms alone. We observe them, get into their heads, and we get inside of them. In the most intimate way possible.”

“You know, that isn’t too far from what a psychiatrist does either,” you twirl your pen, watching his eyes follow the motion like a lion stalking its prey. “You and me, we aren’t too different.”

Namjoon lets out a loud, full bellied laugh. “Oh, doll. We couldn’t be any more different. You’re so… good. A good girl. And I’m anything but.”

“What are you, then?”

Instead of answering, he fixes you with an amused look.

“People aren’t black and white, Namjoon. Just because you’re not good, doesn’t mean you are evil. Life doesn’t work like that.”

“I beg to differ. You know, here you have the guys who think they’ve done nothing wrong. In their point of view, they are the good guy, right? But then you have guys like me, guys who knowwhat they’ve done.” He leans forward now, sliding his hands along the table until you are painfully aware of how close they are to touching yours. “Who enjoy breaking people.”

You can feel his breath on your skin.

“Oh, I’ll enjoy breaking you, doll.” He finally sits back with a smile that sends the slightest hint of nerves fluttering in your stomach.

The buzzer rings, signaling the end of your session, and he gets up of his own accord, holds his hands out for the handcuffs that are slapped onto him by the prison orderlies. Before he leaves, though, he shoots you a salacious smile over his shoulder.

“See you next time, doll.”

“Tell me, doc. Aren’t you curious at all?”

“About what?”

In this room, there are only two of you. But you know that at any one point in time, there are eyes on you. There are armed guards keeping watch outside this cell, ready to strike should anything go wrong.

“I said last session that I was thinking of doing the most perverse and disgusting things to you while you sit in front of me, all prim and proper. Don’t you want to know what they are?”

He wants to elicit some sort of reaction out of you. Namjoon is watching you closely for any reaction at all, but you know his tactics all too well. He is trying every trick in the book, starting with the one he thinks will work best. Practically dangling bait in front of you, hoping that you will bite.

Today, he is wrapped up in a straitjacket, his arms crossed over his front because of a transgression committed earlier this week that deemed him a threat. Yet, his mannerisms aren’t the slightest bit affected. He speaks with the confidence of a foreign diplomat, his eyes roving about your person as if he owns you.

“I thought you said it was the others who were thinking of me like that. Not you.”

Snagged, Namjoon lets out a small chuckle. “You got me there, doll.”

His admission does not fool you. Someone like Kim Namjoon wouldn’t let themselves get backed into a corner or admit something that they weren’t already willing to give away. It’s all just a game to him.

“You’re so pretty. As always,” Namjoon smiles, a charming grin that makes your heart beat a little faster. “You know, we all love seeing you. It’s the only thing that brightens our days in here.”

Seeing him face to face like this, it’s so hard to differentiate him from the Kim Namjoon that you know from his casefile. Multiple homicides, drug use, violent crime, and worst of all, the torture he subjected his victims to.

Looking at him like this, he could be your English professor in college.

“Do me a favour will you? Just one, tiny little thing,” he implores, an innocent look on his face.

Wariness creeps in at the edges of your consciousness, but you find yourself pushing it away.

“It depends on what you’re asking for.”

“My favourite colour is purple.” His next statement catches you even more off guard, because you expected something outrageous like demanding to shorten his sentence or get him on parole. “But everything is just so fucking grey in here. The only spot of colour we- Iget to see is you.”

He leans forward, with some difficulty now with his straitjacket. Namjoon’s voice has dropped to an intimate whisper, his eyes dipping down to linger on your lips. It prompts you to lean forward as well so that you can catch his next words.

“Wear something purple for me, won’t you, babydoll? I just need some colour in my life,” he begs so prettily, and it’s such an innocent request, you can’t find anything insidious in it. “But for our sessions only. It’ll be our little secret.”

His voice trails off, and you can see the hint of possessiveness in his eyes that sends a thrill down your spine, that holds dark promises of what would happen if you wore that colour for someone else.

The buzzer rings. He doesn’t wait for a confirmation from you, just gets up obediently and turns to the guards. The heavy doors close, and you are left alone in the cold, sterile room.

“Dr _____... I live for these moments with you.” Kim Namjoon isn’t his usual, composed self today. His eyes are alight, dancing with mirth the moment you walk into the cell.

He spots the lavender blouse that you have on today, covered by your doctor’s coat, of course. Namjoon only has a few seconds to take in the lemon-yellow pencil skirt that you have on before you take a seat opposite him. He is smiling like the cat that caught the canary.

“Thank you for honouring my request,” he says with another charming smile, and today because the straitjacket is off, he reaches across the table with his hands, long and slim fingers laced together.

“It was a minor inconvenience, of course,” you sigh dramatically. “Didn’t have anything purple in my wardrobe, I realized. Had to go on a shopping spree and treat myself for the first time in a long while.”

“I’m sorry you enjoyed yourself because of me,” Namjoon banters back, and you giggle with your hand over your mouth.

He watches you laugh with a smile that crinkles the corners of his mouth, emphasizing his dimples.

“What is it like outside, doctor?” He asks with a beguiling smile, tilting his head as he watches you digest the question. “What’s the best thing you love about being outside? Is it the colour of the sky, or the warmth of the sun on your skin?”

Again, his questions are so innocent, that you can’t possibly believe how many people he’s tortured and murdered. How many of his own gang members he killed. Kim Namjoon’s innocent dimples are on full display as he searches your expression.

“I like… I like how the sky is boundless. At any one time, if I look up at it, I feel… free. Like I can go anywhere I want to.” Your thoughts wander, taking you outside of this sterile, heavily guarded prison cell until you can almost feel the breeze on your cheeks. But then, the heavy clank of a prison door somewhere outside brings you back to reality, and you realise what you’ve just said in front of someone who’s been sentenced to this mental asylum for life.

A part of you expects him to lunge across the table for your throat. But Kim Namjoon has not moved a single muscle. Instead, the smile on his face is ever present, dimples and all, and you can’t help but detect something sinister in it. But instead of making you feel uneasy, it thrillsyou.

Is this what it feels like to be dancing with the devil?

He lets out a contented sigh, as if he’s living in the memories you just described. “So innocent, doctor. That’s what I like about you. You remind me of how the world would look like if everything was good.”

Somehow, his approval feels good. It feels right.

“Do me a favour, will you?” Namjoon opens his eyes from his brief escape into fantasy. “Dance for me, little swan.”

“Dance?” You hesitate. “I can’t dance… I don’t know how to…”

“Then twirl,” he says, not giving you time to fumble about in your own lack of self-esteem. “Twirl for me, pretty thing.”

You reluctantly get up, seeing the hope in his eyes as he watches your every move. You are more self-conscious than you’ve ever been in this place, especially so when he bids you to take off your doctor’s coat. Without it, without the sense of validation and authority it affords you, you begin to feel like the tables have turned between you and Kim Namjoon. That really, he’s the one evaluating you.

You leave your coat on the back of the chair. Placing your feet together, you start to spin slowly, feeling the brush of your skirt against your thighs elevate your heart rate. You go faster, feeling the breeze of your own making caress your hair. All this while you are aware of his eyes on you, tracking your every movement like a predator stalking its prey. A laugh escapes your lips as you put your arms out for balance; but all it takes is one misstep, and suddenly you find yourself in the arms of a mass murderer.

Kim Namjoon sets you upright again, his lithe arms feel strong as you clutch his biceps. His frame towers over you, and it is only then that you realise how much power he exudes, just from his aura alone. How did he even move that quickly?

“Careful, Doctor. Wouldn’t want you to get hurt, now would we?” The beats of your heart count off the seconds that he holds you in his arms, and it feels like an eternity before he lets you go. “Only I get to do that. Only I can hurt you, babydoll.”

His eyes dip to your lips, and he places his hand on your chin, running a thumb along your bottom lip. You feel the pad of his thumb dampen with your saliva, and you can hardly breathe.

“You would look good with red lipstick,” he comments casually, dropping his hand from your face and taking a step back.

As if on cue, the buzzer rings, and the prison orderlies rush in to corral him into his handcuffs, lead him back to his cage. He keeps his eyes on you as he is dragged out of the room, on the way your chest heaves as you struggle to catch your breath.

A knock sounds at the door of your office. A little hesitant, but more insistent the second time round.

“Doctor? You’re late for your session with Prisoner 120994.” It’s the intern who does the administrative scheduling for the psychiatrists, Jeon Jeongguk. The number catches you off guard for a moment, until you connect the dots. You haven’t thought of Kim Namjoon as Prisoner 120994 for the longest time.

You take a moment longer as you stare at your reflection in the small hand mirror, contemplating the red lipstick on your desk. But it clashes with your violet cardigan, and the whole look is just messy.

The knock comes again, and you hastily throw off your cardigan, apply your lipstick, and gather your white coat.

“Dr _____, you’ll be la- oh. Um, Prisoner 120994 is waiting, Dr _____.” Jeongguk awkwardly swings the door open wider so that you can get past him. “You look… you look different today. New lipstick?”

“Just trying something new,” you shrug it off casually as he follows behind you like a puppy.

“Not only today, you’ve been looking different lately!” Jeongguk is quick to add on.

You are almost halfway to your consultation cell, but Jeongguk is still following you. He doesn’t let up until you stand before the armed guards. They open the door, and you see that Namjoon is already seated in his usual seat. He cranes his neck to catch a glimpse of you, his usual charming smile primed to greet you, but it fades when he sees Jeongguk.

“… the new style looks really good on you!” Jeongguk is bright eyed as he grins at you.

You cast him a cold glare. “Shouldn’t you be getting back to work, intern? I don’t need an escort to walk me to my sessions.”

Without waiting for a response, you enter the cell, the door slamming behind you. Shooting Namjoon an apologetic smile, you sit down across him, arranging your files on the cold metal table in front of you.

“Who was that?”

“Oh, it was…” your voice trails off upon seeing the dark look on his face. “It was our admin intern. He’s young, so he’s still pretty immature. But he gets work done, so…”

Namjoon is no longer interested in your answer. Instead, he is appraising your person, from the way you nervously arrange the papers on the desk, to your inability to meet his gaze.

“The lipstick doeslook good on you, Doctor,” he relents finally, and you are able to relax for the first time since you stepped foot in this cell a few moments ago. His gaze feels more intimate than ever as he practically eye-fucks you, lingering on the low neckline of your light blue strappy top. “But it seems like you wanted Jeongguk to see it instead of me.”

“No! Jeongguk is… he’s no one. No one compared to you,” Feeling like a scolded child, your cheeks heat up in shame.

“Aren’t you forgetting something else, too?” Namjoon is relentless, raising a brow at your outfit of choice today.

At once, you jump to your own defense, but your voice trails off in uncertainty. “It clashed with the lipstick! And so I didn’t know…”

“Did it?” He expresses doubt, his eyes still eating up every inch of exposed skin on your chest. It ignites a fire in your lower belly, makes the entire room heat up.

“But I wore something else that’s purple,” you’re quick to continue, eager to earn back his approval.

His eyebrow perks up with a lazy, lethal interest, like a jaguar flicking its tail, contemplating a potential kill. “What is that, babydoll?”

Your heart is in your throat. Knowing exactly where the security cameras are located in this room, you angle your body as you scoot your chair closer to the table. Then, you lean forward ever so deliberately until you’re sure that he can get a good peek of your lilac lace bra down your shirt, and the smirk of approval sends adrenaline singing through your veins.

This is so wrong. You could be fired for this.

But then why does being wrong feel so right?

“Fuck, you’re such a good girl for me,” he lets out a single, vehement curse, his eyes unable to leave that sweet spot of your cleavage pushed together by your bra. “Today it’s your bra, but next time… next time I’ll be sucking on your pretty pink nipples.”

Hearing him praise you is the best feeling in the world. And even better is how he can’t take his eyes off you.

Taking advantage of the fact that the security cameras in this room are only filming your back, you reach into the sleeve of your coat and lower the straps of your top, so that it falls down your chest, fully exposing your breasts in your lilac lace bra to his view.

“Now I’m not forgetting anything, am I?” You voice is breathless as you watch his eyes travel greedily across your cleavage, licking his lips. “We should continue our session like this.”

Namjoon lets out a chuckle. “Oh, babydoll. You think I can concentrate on what you’re saying if you look like that?”

“Then don’t,” the words come out of your mouth, and you didn’t even realise you were this brave.

“Remember those perverse, disgusting things I mentioned during our first session, Doctor?” He leans forward for a better look at your breasts, watching as they begin to heave up and down because of your heavy breathing.

“Yes. I want to hear them.”

“You’re so… good,” Namjoon whispers, as if to himself. “I want to hurt you so, so bad, babydoll. Fuck every single hole you have until you are brimming with cum. I want to tie you up to the bed, legs spread permanently and make you my little cum slut. Just a receptacle for holding my cum, and if you dare to let any spill out, I’ll choke you with my cock until you pass out. When I finally let your pretty little pussy have my cock, it won’t be vanilla sex like you’re used to with that loser Jeongguk. I’ll brand you with my cum, and you’ll be my breeding slut. Forever reduced to carrying my babies. I will own you. I will break you so good, baby doll, and I will hurt you really, really bad.”

“I can take it,” you answer eagerly. “Anything you want to do to me. I can take it. I want it.”

He laughs again, almost in delight at your compliance. “So obedient. So innocent. You don’t know how badly I can hurt you, babydoll.”

You shake your head vehemently, leaning forward to offer him a view of your cleavage. “I don’t care. I want it.”

A slow, satisfied smile spreads across Namjoon’s face. “If you really want it, babygirl…”

“Yes, I want it,” he has reduced you to incoherency.

“… you’re going to have to help me with it.” Namjoon reaches forward to trace a pattern on the top of your hand, and it feels like your nipples are so hard, they’re aching for his touch. The single point of contact between you and him has your entire body heating up, your thighs rubbing against each other, and your panties drenched.

You nod immediately. “Anything. Whatever you need.”

“If we’re going to fuck, we need a place where we won’t be watched. As much as I want to hurt you, that sight is for my eyes only. I don’t like sharing my toys with others.”

“I understand-“

“Now, there’s going to be a system maintenance next Monday, exactly three days from now,” Namjoon continues calmly, his eyes razor sharp as they lock in on you, no longer clouded with lust. “All the security systems will be offline until the first bedcheck at 6am. At exactly 3.05am, there will be a change in shift, and there won’t be anyone watching my cell. It takes 9 minutes. You need to come and get me out of my cell. And then… then we can talk about how bad you’re willing to get hurt.”

“How will I… how will I get the key?” It doesn’t even occur to you to question how he knows all this information.

“You’re smart, babygirl. You’ll figure it out,” he strokes your chin with his thumb, admiring how your red lipstick smears when he brushes it against your lips. “Already a mess for me. I can’t wait to wreck you, baby girl.”

“I’ll do it,” you reassure him, only to be rewarded with his approving smile.

“Cover yourself, babydoll. The buzzer is about to go off.” Namjoon sits back in his seat as you snap back into reality, following his instructions as you pull the straps of your top back on your shoulders. He looks a little sorry to see you covered back up.

As predicted, the buzzer rings, and the doors fling open.

The guards come in to take him away, and you don’t even question his near supernatural ability to keep track of time so accurately, even though there isn’t a clock in this room. Even you lose track of time during your sessions with him, forgetting to look at your watch that you keep hidden.

All you can see is him.

“Everything okay? You’ve been stirring that coffee for the past five minutes.” A voice jerks you out of your daze.

Min Yoongi, the head prison warden, strolls in lazily, twirling his all-access card in his hand. You almost salivate at the sight of it. It’s all too convenient. His access card is the only way for you to get into the room with all the keys to the prisoners’ cells.

He slips it into his back pocket carelessly.

There’s no one in the common pantry that all the staff in the mental asylum share. It’s the perfect chance.

You turn around, immediately spotting how his eyes are drawn to the low neckline of your top. So the rumours were true. Just a little bit of cleavage and the man will roll over like a puppy begging for a belly rub.

“Just tired, is all,” you smile jovially, dropping the empty coffee sachet on the floor not so accidentally. When you bend over to pick it up, you make sure he gets a good look down your shirt.

As you straighten up, you catch a glimpse of his dazed stare. You take it as an opportunity to step closer so that your bodies are almost pressed up against each other.

“Say… what are you doing this weekend? Are you free, by any chance?” You let your eyes linger on his lips, angling your head so that more of your neck is exposed to him. You can feel his breath, hot and heavy on your skin.

“Th-this weekend? Su..sure, I’m free, yeah,” he stumbles over his words, hands coming up to hover around your ass, still unsure of himself.

You gently coax his hands, his right hand resting on your butt cheek, and the other on your waist. He gropes your ass immediately, unable to control himself. In return, you giggle playfully, sliding your hand down to his ass in a show of flirting as well.

Closing the gap between your bodies, you press your breasts against him, lowering your lips to his ear. “You should come over. My roommate is out and we’ll have the whole place… to- our-selves.”

You emphasize the last three syllables, noticing the way his breathing picks up as a result. You deftly slide your hand out of his pocket, patting his ass as you wink at him. “Call me!”

As he watches you go with lustful eyes, your step has an extra flourish, hips swaying to give him a good show. But what he can’t see is the satisfaction on your face as you kiss the access card, sliding it into your bra for safe keeping.

Having worked in Hope World Mental Asylum for the Criminally Insane for the past nine years, you know your way around it like the back of your hand. The guard routes, security camera positions, emergency exits. Basically, you have the map of it memorized.

Earlier that week, you signed yourself up for the graveyard shift, which of course no one wanted. No one even asked why you wanted that shift, all too glad to clock off and leave you alone in your office.

The silence is deafening as you watch the minute hand crawl closer and closer to the ‘1’ mark. At 3.04am, you get up silently, having dressed in a black hoodie and black jeans, with sneakers to go along with it. You let yourself out of your office, clutching the access card as you make your way to the control room where all the keys are kept.

From your office to the control room is only 50 steps. Less than a minute later, you are in and out, grabbing the keys from a hook labelled ‘120994’.

From the control room to his cell is another 80 steps. It takes you one minute to get to his cell, and you see him pacing back and forth like a caged tiger. He stops as he spots you, his features lighting up with a dimpled grin.

Another 10 seconds to unlock his cell. And then he is out.

The caged beast is no longer so.

You expected him to sweep you into his embrace at once, kiss you until you can’t remember your name. But all he does is take your hand in his, breaking into a run and forcing you to keep up with him. Your footsteps are silent as he leads you down the rabbit’s hole, twisting and turning until you lose track of where you’re going.

Down flights and flights of stairs, out of a door labelled emergency exit that you never came across before. And then it is down a dark tunnel that never seems to end.

When he finally stops, you are out of breath. “Wh-where are we?”

Namjoon is not winded in the slightest. It’s obvious that he is at peak physical condition, and he turns to you, front buttons of his grey prison issued jumpsuit undone. “We’re underground, babydoll. A place where they’ll never find us.”

A quick look around tells you that this might have been a medical ward a long time ago. Operating tables, not unlike the one you have in your consultation room, are strewn about. Only thing is, these tables have limb restraints attached to them. Broken syringes lie on the floor, electroconvulsive therapy machines are abandoned in the corner. Years of disuse has not done this room any good.

You should feel vulnerable in a place like this that could have come from one of Stephen King’s novels. Trapped in close proximity with a madman who prowls the room’s perimeter.

But all you feel is exhilaration and anticipation for what is to come.

You watch his biceps tense as he runs his fingers through his hair, turning around to face you. “A place where you’re all mine.”

He stalks towards you, eyes glinting in the darkness. “We have all the time in the world, babydoll. And I told you before. I’m going to break you so, so bad.”

“I want it,” your voice comes out in a near whisper as he backs you toward the wall, caging you in with his lithe arms.

His broad shoulders pin you against the wall, and he forces your chin up so that he can finally kiss you. Namjoon’s lips are rough, his teeth not showing mercy as he owns your mouth. His hands roam the expanse of your body, groping first your ass, then palming your breasts in his large hands.

He is like a drug you can’t get enough of. Every lick of his tongue is intoxicating, his lips pull you in deeper into your descent. There’s no going back now. But of course, you knew this all along.

Namjoon pulls away with swollen lips, toned chest panting as he picks you up around the waist. His strength only serves to make you even more beguiled by him, and you have to touch his biceps to feel how they tense and strain under your weight.

He treats you like a ragdoll as he tosses you onto the metal table, climbing onto of you and spreading your thighs with his legs. Namjoon takes a moment to admire how pretty you look with your hair all splayed out across the metal table. In a single motion, he strips your body of your black hoodie with a crazed look in his eyes, annoyed with not being able to see and touch your bare skin. He brings both of your hands up by your head, straps them in with the restraints before you even realise it.

Namjoon has his thumb on your chin. “Open,” he orders, and you obediently part your lips.

He spits right into your mouth, admiring the way his saliva is collected on the back of your tongue.

“Swallow, then show me,” he demands, and you swallow down his spit, opening to show him an empty mouth. “That’s my babydoll.”

He kisses down your body, looking for the first time, unhinged as he feasts on the sweetness of your skin. Namjoon fascinates himself by spitting on your breasts, watching his spittle run down the crevices of your body, into your cleavage, soaked up by your lavender lace bra.

Then, in a sudden movement, he tears your bra to pieces, the underwire ripping your skin and making you gasp in exhilaration. The raw display of strength, the primal desire in his eyes as he sees the crimson stain on your pretty, smooth skin. One finger swipes across the newly made wound, gathering the blood and bringing it to his mouth.

“Sweeter than I imagined,” he says as if in a trance, mesmerized by the way your blood tastes.

Then he dips his finger in the crimson liquid once more, tracing patterns down your belly as he caresses your waist, until he comes to the waistband of your jeans.

“I had hoped you would be in slightly more suitable attire… but I guess this is for practicality’s sake,” he muses, flicking open the button with practiced ease. Namjoon slides your jeans down your legs, hands lingering on every inch of exposed skin as he goes. He tosses your jeans somewhere on the floor, leaving you in your flimsy lace panties that are already soaked to the core.

He brushes two fingers experimentally against the wet patch. “Tell me darling. How would you like to live dangerously?”

When he pulls your panties down, you are so wet that you can smell yourself. Embarrassment heats your cheeks as Namjoon scents your arousal, biting his lower lip in response.

“Look at you. Already so wet, your pussy is begging to be destroyed.” He spreads your pussy lips with two fingers, exposing your delicate insides lewdly as he examines you thoroughly. “Tell me whose pussy this is.”

“Y-yours, it’s yours. Forever. If you want it.” You respond immediately to the warning tap on your inner thigh.

Namjoon chuckles, a low, dangerous sound that you can feel directly in your core. “We’ll see how well it can take cock first. I’m going to tear your pussy apart, then we’ll see if you still want to offer it to me.”

When he reaches your ankles, he imparts a kiss to each one before he straps them in. You can feel the leather restraints tight against your skin, so that you are left spread-eagled on the metal table.

“So perfect,” Namjoon smiles to himself, licking your essence off his fingertips. “Just waiting for me to break you.”

Every second that you don’t feel his touch on your body is a moment of torture. “Namjoon,” you sob, arching your breasts to the ceiling.

“Beg for it,” he whispers, slapping your breasts roughly so that he can watch them bounce under his force. He pinches your nipples hard, reveling in your screams as he tweaks your pleasure. “All you have to do is say the word. ‘Pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty…”

“Please,” you gasp, thighs aching with the strain of trying to rub against each other. You can feel yourself dripping onto the table underneath you already. “Pretty please.”

“Good girl,” Namjoon sighs in delight, taking in the trails of dried blood on your tummy. Your hardened nipples are begging to be tasted, but he isn’t done with them yet.

He spots what he’s looking for on the floor a couple of paces away. Leaving your side to pick them up, he attaches the electric clamps onto your nipples, causing you to wail out in pain and pleasure. Of course, there’s no current active between them, since this place has been abandoned for god knows how long, but this will have to do.

“Now, let me eat my babydoll’s pussy.” He finally invites himself to feast on the delicacy in between your legs that he’s been dreaming of ever since the first time he set eyes on you.

The first lick has you thrashing on the table, tears leaking and streaking your mascara down your cheeks. His tongue continues to probe your clit, circling it torturously as two fingers plunge themselves into you without warning.

Having this intelligent, well-spoken man who could probably run for president in between your legs makes you heady with desire. The lust filled moans reverberate in the empty, abandoned medical ward, mixing with the filthy sounds of Namjoon as he tongues your cunt. Two lithe fingers are buried deep, thrusting and seeking out that sensitive spot inside you.

The word slips out before you realise it. “Daddy… let me cum. Wanna cum.”

He pauses at this, letting out a harkened laugh with your juices still dripping from his mouth. “A pretty little girl like you, with a Daddy kink? Oh, this is too perfect. I’ll fuck all the daddy issues right out of you, babydoll.”

And then his tongue is back on your clit, he adds another finger to your cunt to stretch you out even more. Your thighs are twitching, heels banging against the metal table as you convulse under his touch.

“Don’t cum.” He commands, slapping your clit sharply. “You’re not allowed to cum until Daddy says.”

“Please, please stop, I can’t hold it back,” you beg and please, thighs straining to close. You are almost at the edge of your orgasm, one more lick of his devious tongue would send you right over.

Namjoon gives a disappointed sigh, eyes flicking to your tear stained face. Like a predator toying with its prey, he decides to let you off just this once.

“Fine. Meanwhile, I’ll use your pretty little mouth.” A series of movements follow, and you strain your neck to catch a glimpse of what he’s doing.

And it is a glorious sight. Namjoon pushes the sleeves of his prison issued jumpsuit down his well-muscled arms, exposing the thin white shirt underneath. It clings to his defined chest, slightly matted with sweat. But the real prize comes when he pushes the jumpsuit below his waist, and you realise that underwear is probably the only thing that is not prison issued.

The sight of his long, hard cock, angry and red greets you. One hand pushes the rest of the jumpsuit down, the other strokes his length and gathers the precum on his palm to provide a better glide. He catches you staring with a smirk, his abs tensing as he puts on a show for you.

Namjoon kicks his jumpsuit off, walking to the head of the table. He strokes your cheek gently, then slaps it hard, leaving a red imprint behind. He digs his fingers into your cheeks, forcing you to tilt your head up uncomfortably to make eye contact with him.

“Open,” he says, as if you were nothing but another orifice to pleasure himself with.

You can only imagine how much he’s been dying to do this. When was the last time he got off? Your lips part obediently, offering your throat as a vessel for his pleasure.

He rests his cock on your bottom lip, smearing his precum all over your chin. Namjoon grasps himself and moves the tip of his cock to your reddened cheek, spreading the precum over the imprint of his hand. Satisfied with his handiwork, he finally slides his cock into your mouth, and then you are filled with the taste of him.

His cock is hot and heavy on your tongue, his pre cum fills your throat with its saltiness as he thrusts hard. The tip of his cock hits your throat, and you can already start to feel how raw it is as he face fucks you. His balls are hitting your face repeatedly with every thrust, so you have to close your eyes and surrender your mouth to him completely.

“Your every breath belongs to me,” Namjoon emphasizes his statement with every thrust of his cock. “If you breathe, it’ll be because I allowed you to. Got that, slut?”

He punctuates this with a slap to your breasts, causing your nipples to twinge from the clamps. Namjoon then releases the clamps and tosses them aside so that he can bend down to take an abused nipple into his mouth while he fucks your face.

Every few thrusts, Namjoon buries his cock all the way in your throat, forcing you to deepthroat him. Your throat convulses around him as spit and precum drip out the sides of your mouth. Then, he decides to push his cock all the way in and keep it there, actively depriving you of your air supply. His balls are heavy on your face, smothering you.

“Shit!” He pulls his cock away from your mouth after what seems like eternity. “You have such a good mouth for cock-sucking, babydoll. Do you ever suck Jeongguk’s cock like that? Hmmm? Tell Daddy what a cock slut you are.”

You shake your head vehemently. “No! I’m just a cockslut for you. Only you.”

Namjoon chuckles darkly, before shutting you up as he places his balls on your chin. “Shut up and suck my balls, slut.”

You lave your tongue around him, taking one of his testicles into your mouth and playing with it, careful to keep your teeth from grazing them accidentally. By now, your makeup is smeared all over your face, sticky precum coating every inch of your skin, and he has rubbed his balls and cock all over your face, treating you like a sex doll.

You can feel how heavy his balls are as you switch to the other one. Namjoon groans, almost in pain as you suck dutifully.

“Fuck, I have so much fucking cum for you, babydoll. I want to fucking drown you in cum. But the only place I’ll be putting it is in your pretty pussy. Good girls like you love having a cum filled pussy, don’t they? You can’t live unless your pussy has been well-fucked and creamed. You’ll let any random man fill your pussy with cum, won’t you?”

You make a muffled sound in your throat, and Namjoon sighs impatiently, as if anything you have to say is an inconvenience to him. He pulls his balls from your mouth. “What is it, slut?”

“I’ve- I’ve never let anyone cum inside me before-“

“Oh? Never let another man cum inside you?” He reacts with genuine surprise, slapping one breast harshly again. By now, your tits are red and swollen with his handprints all over them. “Never felt a man’s cock pulse as he paints your womb with his cum? Never felt the warmth of his semen in your pussy, travelling through your pretty little body in search of your egg?”

“Never,” you say truthfully, entirely enraptured by his dark, gleaming eyes.

For a moment, he is silent, and you almost think that you can see a glimmer of something that you haven’t quite seen before when it comes to Namjoon. It is soft, tender, but gone in a split second before you had a chance to ascertain that you saw it for real.

“Then I’ll be the first, babydoll.” The luscious grin is back as he makes his way in between your legs, cock probing your inner thighs and staining them with pre-cum. “Beg for my cock.”

You perform for him, as if on cue. “Please, please, please, fuck me. Fuck me so hard and break me, Daddy. I can take it, I promise. Be the first man to cum inside me.”

“What would your parents say if they saw you like this, hmmm?” Namjoon runs the tip of his cock against your slit, slapping it a few times. “All bound up, legs spread, mouth used and begging to get fucked by a madman. Begging for a criminal’s cock.”

Your laugh sounds foreign to your ears. It resounds in the dim room, it is unhinged, on the verge of catatonic.

“They would be proud of me,” you say with a wide grin, and it prompts a belly laugh from Namjoon.

“Give it to me, Daddy,” you bite your bottom lip, canting your hips up in invitation. “I want it all.”

Namjoon gazes down at you with a look of deranged pride at your bruised and broken body, finally feeding you his cock one inch at a time. He spreads your pussy with two fingers as he thrusts the rest of the way in, marrying your hips together with a flex of his thick thighs.

“So fucking tight, I’m going to have so much fun ruining this pussy,” Namjoon all but cackles as he begins to fuck you, every stroke deep and purposeful.

You can only giggle, all caution thrown to the wind as you watch the sweat start to collect on his body. “I’m already broken, Daddy. Use me as you please.”

So Namjoon doesn’t stand on courtesy. He pumps in and out of your cunt, watching your breasts bounce violently from the force of his thrusts. Your walls mold around his cock as if you were made for him, made to take his fucking like his very own plaything.

He places his hands on either side of your waist as he ruts into you like a filthy animal, and you can see from the way his muscles strain and flex that he is putting every single ounce of energy he has into fucking your pussy. Namjoon’s eyes glimmer with a primordial urge, and you let yourself fantasise that you are his last meal. That he is an inmate placed on death row, and his last, dying wish is to fuck a baby into you.

Your pussy clenches involuntarily, and Namjoon slaps your cheek hard.

“What were you thinking about, slut?” He demands, keeping up the brutal pace as the head of his cock assaults your cervix with every thrust.

“M-making you a baby daddy,” you confess with a sinful leer, mouth open and gasping in pain as he slams into your cervix again.

“Oh? Babydoll read my mind,” Namjoon’s lips curl into a nefarious smile. “Ever since you walked into my cell, all I wanted to do is get you pregnant with my child. Fill you up with so much cum so that there’s no way you won’t get pregnant by the time I’m done with you.”

“Do it, please,” you beg, pussy dripping at the thought of him making you heavy and round with his child. It would be your greatest pleasure to carry his baby, to feel a part of him grow inside you, to walk around in public carrying the baby of an insane criminal.

“I’m gonna make you remember how well I broke you,” Namjoon growls into your skin, his voice is a deep rumble as he brands you with his cock. His girth feels as if it is splitting you apart, you can feel the head of his cock so deep, that if you were to touch your stomach, you might feel his cock there. “For the rest of your life, babydoll. I’m gonna cum so deep in your womb, gonna put a baby right here.”

His hand comes to rest on your lower stomach.

“Then I’m going to let you go with a womb full of my cum, and you’re going to walk out of this place with my baby inside you. You’re going to grow so big and swollen that when people see you, they’ll know you’ve been fucked by a psychopath,” Namjoon licks a stripe up your neck, his teeth sinking into the lobe of your ear. “Inseminated by a madman. Bred by a criminal.”

“I’ll give you all the babies you want,�� you are desperate to feel him pulse inside you. “Visit you in prison and let Daddy knock me up over and over. Be your little prison breeding slut.”

A derisive chuckle comes from him as he fondles your clit. At this stage, you are so fucked out, cock drunk and desperate for his cum. You couldn’t possibly have any idea what he’s planning.

“That’s right, babydoll. Now stay still and let Daddy do his job. We only get one chance, so Daddy’s got to make sure he fucks a baby into you now.” The urgency in his voice is lost on you as his hips start to hammer into your cunt, driving his cock so deep until you are crying from the intricate mix of pain and pleasure.

You have no idea how you managed to get this far without cumming, but the tension in your lower belly is right at the brink of snapping. Still, you wait for his permission, and judging from his breathing, he is getting close. His thrusts are getting sloppy, his face buried into your shoulder as he chases after his release.

“Cum for me now. Squeeze my cock like the whore you are,” Namjoon breathes into your shoulder, finally giving you the go ahead.

His resounding groan as he fucks into your tightening pussy encourages you to let him hear how good he’s making you feel. Your screams of his name echo inside the abandoned room as your pussy clamps down around his cock, trying its best to milk him dry of every drop of cum.

“Milk me, you fucking cumslut, squeeze me dry,” he demands, slamming into you one last time before he releases with a loud groan, every pulse of his cock sending spurts of semen deep into your womb where it belongs. His fingers tighten around your thighs, leaving behind blue black bruises. “You better get every drop of cum if you want to get pregnant, whore.”

And you work for his cum, the aftershocks of your orgasm making your walls clench around him rhythmically. He is so deep, you can feel the spurts of his cum directly at your cervix, bathing it generously as your womb swallows it down greedily.

When you feel as if the spurts of cum have stopped, you expect him to pull out. But you realise that his cock still remains hard in your well fucked cunt. Namjoon’s chest is heaving, sweat dripping off every crevice of his muscled torso as he slowly begins to thrust his cock in and out of your creamy pussy.

“Daddy’s got to fuck his cum inside your womb,” he says with his eyes glued to the mess between your legs, watching his semen froth up on his cock. “Be a good doll and don’t let any of it escape.”

His thrusts are slower, but deeper now as he makes sure that his balls hit your ass with every thrust. You can feel how sloppy your pussy is, even if you can’t see the cum on Namjoon’s cock. Your inner thighs are wet and sticky, and you whine like a spoiled toddler.

“Daddy… you’re fucking me so hard.It’s all coming out,” you say with a pout. “How am I gonna give Daddy a baby if he fucks all his cum out of my pussy?”

A definitive throb of his cock inside you tells you that you hit his soft spot. “Daddy’ll have to fill you up again then babydoll.”

This time, a finger circles your clit, pulling the knot in your belly tighter as he fucks into you. You tense up immediately, feeling incredibly sloppy as he fucks the cum deeper into your pussy.

“Can I cum? Daddy, can I cum?” You beg, feeling his cock twitching as he hits you with deep thrusts.

“Cum for me, babydoll. Pull all that sweet cum deep inside your womb where it belongs. Give us a baby,” he cajoles, and the squeezing of your sweet, cum slippery walls in your orgasm rewards him. “Fuck, take my fucking cum. Take all of it!”

For the second time that night, you feel his cum flood your pussy, and he tilts your hips up as he roars his pleasure, fucking your cervix raw and open. His thrusts slow as his spurts of cum weaken, and soon, he is plugging your pussy up with his cum.

“My pretty babydoll,” he runs his tongue up the side of your face, kissing the side of your mouth. “Took my cum so well. It’ll be a miracle if you weren’t pregnant after tonight.”

“Daddy…” you eyelids flutter in exhaustion.

He gives you a final kiss on your forehead, smearing the precum on your face one last time before he pushes himself away from you.

You hear him fiddling with the restraints at your wrists and ankles. A moment later, your limbs are free, and you adjust your position so that your thighs are close together, cradling the precious gift of life that Hehas bestowed you with.

“Rest, babydoll.”

You hear his voice getting more and more distant as he moves about the room. Attempting to open your eyes to follow his movement, you see him rummaging for something in the drawers, and then the sound of paper tearing.

“Wh- what are you…?”

Then, he is back by your side, a large, warm hand on your forehead, forcing you back down again. A pinprick on your arm, and then everything goes black.

When you wake up, it is to darkness and musk.

And god, the ache in your entire body.

You move your legs, grimacing at the stickiness in between them. When you sit up, you can feel globs of cum leak down your inner thigh. You run your fingers through it reverently, bringing it to your lips for a taste and closing your eyes in sheer pleasure as you lick every bit of His cum.

How much time has passed? How long were you out cold for?

Glancing around, you slowly recall the events that transpired. The warmth in your slightly swollen belly that reminds you of the life that you have been tasked to nurture. The used needle on the ground beside you that is probably the reason why you were knocked out.

A giggle passes your lips as you scan the room for any traces of Him, but of course, he isn’t here anymore. But it doesn’t matter. He’s long gone, escaped into the night like thin air.

But he chose you.

You want to jump up and down, hug yourself in delight. But you mustn’t spill any more of His cum. You have to make sure it takes, make sure your belly becomes swollen with his child, just as he intended, so that he can see from wherever he is.

You throw your head back as catatonic laughter takes over you, peals of it resounding in the dark basement of the abandoned medical ward.

EPILOGUE

Your lips curl up in a secret smile when they ask. Words of ‘Congratulations! Who’s the baby daddy?’ only make your heart race.

Your swollen stomach is increasing in size with His gift, slowly, day by day.

Min Yoongi’s curious eyes linger on the swell of your belly. “You know… you never gave me your number that night.”

But you ignore him, stirring your coffee serenely.

“And, next up on the nine pm news. Sightings of mass murderer Kim Namjoon in the vicinity have been reported, but two months after his escape from the Hope World Mental Asylum for the Criminally Insane, police still haven’t been able to track him down. The state has initiated a full-scale manhunt for the criminal, but all efforts have proved to be futile…”

You stroke your belly with a peaceful smile, looking at his picture on the television screen. Handsome as ever.

They should just give up. No one in this entire world can find Kim Namjoon. Not even you.

But you’re not worried. Because you know he’ll come back for you, and meanwhile, you’ll proudly show the world how swollen you are because of Him. And when he does come back, it’ll be to fuck another baby into you.

Because after all, you are his chosen. His one and only.

#bts smut #bts rm #namjoon smut #bts namjoon smut #btssmutclub

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debbiechanclub · 4 years

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Best Two Out of Three, Part 20

Holy Toledo how is this Part 20? Wanna hear something dumb? I have all the parts in a Word doc on my laptop and that m’fer is 80,356 words long and 149 pages. In 11-point font. This thing is a whole ass novel, wtf is wrong with us XD

Wanna hear something even dumber? @what-does-mine-say was deadass consoling me like this shit is real life while I was writing this part. And I think that’s all the intro it needs.

*cries*

Best Two Out of Three

Part: 20/26

Pairing: ...recalculating...

Word count: 5.9k

Warnings: Language; angst. So much angst.

My tiny tag list: @freshlysqueezedmox @gabbynorth98

Catch up on previous parts here.

“So I kind of want to try something new tonight.”

Callie bounced on the balls of her feet as she and Britt stood in the middle of the ring at Daily’s Place. She had a match that night—a Dark match against Penelope Ford—and she was both excited and a little bit nervous. It was the first match she’d had in two-and-a-half months, since her match against Alex that she’d lost by disqualification. Knowing that, she felt like showing off a little.

“Oh yeah?” Britt asked. “What were you thinking?”

“Well, I’ve been wanting to show that I can be more technical than just throwing hard punches and kicks, and I don’t really have a submission move in my arsenal… so I was thinking of trying out the octopus hold?”

“Oh yeah!” Britt proclaimed. “That’s a good one. Have you worked on it at all? Because I honestly haven’t tried it.”

She nodded. “A little. But it’s been a while.” She stared at the mat, her thoughts growing distant. It had actually been Alex who’d shown her how to do the octopus hold, back when they’d first started becoming friends. Callie wasn’t sure how Alex would take it if she used it tonight. But she also didn’t really care.

“Well, I’m down to try it if you’re comfortable,” Britt said. “Just tell me what to do.”

Callie shook her head, bringing herself back to the present. “Okay, cool. It’s actually pretty simple for you. All you need to do is pick me up like I’m going for a tilt-a-whirl. But instead of swinging through for the takedown, I’ll keep one leg behind your head and lock the other around your leg.”

Britt nodded. “Alright. Sounds easy enough. You want me to just stand here?”

“Yeah, I’ll run at you.”

“Okay.”

Callie took a breath to ready herself, and then she rebounded off the ropes and ran at Britt. Britt picked her up just like she was supposed to, and Callie locked her legs around her head; but when she swung around and tried to hook her left foot behind Britt’s left leg, the momentum caused Britt to lose her balance and they both went tumbling ungracefully to the mat.

“Whoa!” someone suddenly shouted. “What the hell was that?”

Callie looked toward the entrance ramp as she and Britt untangled from each other. Her cheeks flushed in embarrassment when she saw who it was. Matt Jackson.

“It was supposed to be an octopus hold,” Britt said as she pushed herself to her feet.

“Ah,” he returned. “Well, that’s a relief. I thought it was a terrible attempt at a hurricanrana.”

He leaned against the ropes and sent Callie a teasing smirk. She narrowed her eyes at him. “If I wanted to learn how to do a hurricanrana I’d ask Nick, not you.”

Matt clutched dramatically at his chest. “Ouch, Callie. That hurts. But, lucky for you, I’m feeling generous today.” He ducked through the ropes and walked toward her. “Plus, I know you know I’m a better teacher than Nick.”

He offered her his hand, that cocky smirk of his still in place. She pursed her lips; but she slid her palm into his and let him pull her to her feet.

“Well then what did we do wrong, Professor Jackson?” Britt asked.

“Finally, some respect,” Matt commented. Britt and Callie both ignored it. “Well, if that was supposed to be an octopus hold, you need to catch her as she’s coming around,” he explained. “It looked like you didn’t do that, which is why she pulled you down to the mat.”

“Oh.” Callie’s cheeks tinged pink again. “Yeah, that’s on me. I might have forgotten to mention that part.”

She expected another snarky remark. But Matt just grinned. “Well, now you won’t forget again. Here—try it on me.”

Britt stepped out of the way; but Callie froze, suddenly nervous. What if she screwed up again? When it came to wrestling, Matt was the last person she wanted to look like an idiot in front of, even more so than Adam. But she trusted him, and she wanted to get this right.

He looked at her, waiting. She bounced off the ropes and ran toward him. She jumped up and wrapped her legs around his head just as she had Britt; but when she swung around, he caught her with his left arm and squatted down, cradling her against him. The added support allowed her to bring down her left leg and hook her foot behind his calf; her right knee remained hinged over his neck. She caught his right arm and pulled.

“Ah, okay,” he grimaced and tapped out—on her butt. Callie untangled her limbs from around him and fell to the mat. “That was good,” he complimented. “It actually hurt.”

“Thanks.” She arched a sly brow at him. “And is it normal for the opponent to tap out on your butt?”

Matt’s eyes widened. “Oh. Did I do that? Sorry, I couldn’t tell.”

Callie playfully rolled her eyes at his grin. He’d known damn well what he’d done, and he wasn’t sorry at all. “Uh huh,” she returned as she got to her feet. “I’ll let it slide this time, Professor Jackson.”

He gave her a wink. It happened so fast that Callie almost missed it. “Alright, try it on Britt now.”

They ran through the move a few more times, and once they were confident executing the hold from a run, Matt showed them how to do it from a standing position. Twenty minutes later, Callie felt more than ready to use it in her match that night. And she’d even admit that Matt was a good teacher—but maybe not better than Nick.

“Well, thanks for the lesson Professor Jackson,” Britt said. “But I’m starving now.”

“No problem,” Matt said. He gave her a wave as she ducked through the ropes; but even though Callie was hungry too, she didn’t follow her. She and Matt both watched as Britt walked away. As soon as she disappeared down one of the entrance tunnels, Matt asked, “So are you still staying at her place?”

Callie glanced sheepishly down at the canvas. She and Matt had texted back and forth throughout the week, but they hadn’t talked about Adam or their “separation.” They’d talked about anything but: what they were up to on any given day, memories from their time together on the indies, funny things they saw online. And Callie had enjoyed it; it had been a nice distraction. But, now that they were face-to-face, she wasn’t surprised that he wanted an update on the situation.

“No,” she revealed. “But not because Adam and I worked it out. I felt like I was starting to overstay my welcome with Britt and Cole, so I’m staying at the hotel here between now and Thursday’s episode. But after that... I don’t know.”

Callie frowned to herself, realizing just how pathetic that sounded. After tonight, everyone else on the roster would go home to their families and houses; and she’d still be in Jacksonville, living alone in a hotel room for the next five days. She knew she could probably just go back to Virginia; no matter their issues, she doubted Adam would put her out. But her pride kept her away. She didn’t want to go crawling back to someone who she wasn’t sure even wanted her anymore.

“So you and Adam still haven’t talked at all?” Matt asked.

She shook her head. “Not since last week’s Dynamite. And that wasn’t a productive conversation.” She fidgeted, hoping he wouldn’t ask her to elaborate; she really didn’t want to get into her late-night confrontation with Adam and Alex. Thankfully, he seemed to get the hint and left it alone.

“Well, did you have any plans for tonight?”

She looked back at him, a deer in headlights. “Not really. Why?”

He shrugged, casual. “We’re going out to dinner like usual after the show, and I thought I’d see if you wanted to come with.”

Callie’s eyebrows arched at the invitation. Those dinners were sacred. At least, they seemed to be. “With you and Nick and Kenny?”

“Yeah,” he returned, visibly amused by her shock. “Why not? We’re friends.”

“I’m friends with you and Nick,” she corrected. “Kenny… not so much.”

“It’ll be fine,” he breathed. “Besides, I won’t be surprised if Kenny bails. He’s too busy chasing after Alex.”

She couldn’t help but roll her eyes. Him and Adam both, it seems.

“So… you wanna come?” Matt asked.

Callie chewed the inside of her mouth, considering. She knew she couldn’t avoid Adam forever. But dinner with the Bucks—and even Kenny—was more appealing than any conversation she and her estranged boyfriend could have.

“Sure, why not?”

* * * * * * * * * *

“So, we’re totally going out tonight, right?” Chuck asked.

“Affirmative,” James said. Trent nodded, his mouth full of food. Alex, however, didn’t say anything. She was too engrossed with her phone.

“Alex.”

She looked up. All three of them stared expectantly at her from across the table. “Oh, yeah,” she reflexively agreed. “I’m down.”

Chuck smiled. “Cool.”

The three of them started talking about where they should go, but Alex tuned them out, her thoughts turning inward as she looked back down at her phone. Her conversation with Cash last Saturday hadn’t just ended because Kenny had sent her one of the most adorable pictures she’d ever seen. She looked over their texts now, ruminating.

You should have texted me, she’d sent him back. I should have texted you.

I know, he’d replied. We’ve both made emotional mistakes. But I want to move forward, Alex. With you.

I’m worried we can’t. Everything is so fucked.

Let’s talk at Dynamite next week. I don’t want to do it over the phone.

Okay.

After that, they’d texted here and there throughout the week—he’d sent her screenshots of stupid things fans said to him on Twitter and more pictures and videos of his dog, she’d sent him silly little updates about how she was filling her time being stuck at the house. It was almost like things were normal between them. But Alex knew they were far from normal. And, depending how their conversation went today, she might need a few drinks with the boys.

“Hey, guys.”

Alex looked back up as Adam suddenly joined them. She locked her phone and put it face down on the table as she exchanged a glance with Chuck. Word had gotten around about what was going on with Adam and Callie; Alex had heard their names whispered more than once since she’d arrived at Daily’s Place. Adam must have picked up on it. He looked tired. She could only imagine how he felt.

“Hey, man,” Trent greeted. “How’s it going?”

“Wondering what the hell I’m doing here,” Adam returned. “I don’t have a match at all, on Dynamite or Dark. Kenny does. He’s wrestling Dark Order with Matt and Nick.”

Alex’s frown deepened. Kenny had mentioned that to her. She hadn’t known what to make of it then and still didn’t know what to make of it now.

“Well, come out with us tonight,” Chuck offered. “It’ll be better than sitting around doing nothing.”

Adam paused to look back at him. “What?”

“We’re going out for drinks after the show. You should come with.” He snapped his fingers, suddenly thinking of something. “It’ll be like that thing I’ve seen on Twitter. What was it?”

“Cowpals,” James provided.

“Yes!” Chuck proclaimed, an excited smile on his face. “It’ll be like Cowpals.”

Adam went back to his food. “That’s not a thing.”

“Oh, we’ll make it a thing,” Trent said.

A corner of Adam’s mouth quirked up. But the smirk was gone as soon as it appeared. “Well, let me know when and where, I guess. I’m probably gonna drink anyway, so might as well do it with y’all.”

“Will do,” Chuck said—just as Alex’s phone let out a chirp. She tried not to seem too eager as she picked it up off the table and looked at the screen.

Hey, if you’re free I’m in our locker room.

Alex stared at the text. Now or never.

Alright, I’ll be there in a minute. She hit “send” and grabbed her plate of half-eaten food as she stood from the table. “I’ll see you guys later,” she said, and she walked off before they could ask any questions, threw her plate in the trash, and went out the door in the direction of FTR’s locker room.

She tried to keep her mind blank as she walked, tried not to anticipate what Cash might say to her, but it didn’t stop her body from overheating with anxiety. By the time she reached his locker room, her heart was beating so hard that she worried it would burst from her chest. Her palm was clammy as she knocked.

“Come in,” he called from inside. She opened the door. He stood when he saw her. “Hey.”

“Hey,” she returned, and she crossed the room and hugged him.

Cash wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight. The familiar scent of his cologne filled Alex’s nose, and she was transported back to that night at Adam’s house, as they’d hugged in the hall in the dark. She remembered how she’d felt then, like she’d known exactly what she wanted. She wished she felt that way now.

“I’ve missed this,” Cash said. He rubbed his hand over her back in slow circles. Alex relished in the feel of it.

“I have, too.” She pulled back and looked at him in question. “Is Dax…?”

“He knows what’s going on. He won’t interrupt us or anything.”

She nodded. He took her by the hand and led her over to the couch. He didn’t let go after they sat down, their knees touching.

“Thank you for coming,” he said.

Alex looked down at their hands, watched and felt as he rubbed his thumb over her skin. “I’m surprised you wanted to talk,” she said, her voice small. “I haven’t exactly given you reason to want to.”

Cash squeezed her hand. “I shouldn’t have told you choose that night, Alex.”

She flicked her eyes up to meet his, stunned. Of all the things he could have said, she’d expected that the least.

“I shouldn’t have told you to sleep somewhere else,” he went on. “I was hurt, and it was a knee-jerk reaction. I’m sorry. We should have talked it through right then and there. We should have slept in the same bed.”

Alex’s eyes stung. It tugged on her heartstrings to hear him say that; she’d been aching to hear him say those exact words, and now that he had it was like a weight had been lifted from her chest. But it didn’t make the situation any easier. “I’m sorry that I hurt you,” she said. “I didn’t mean to.”

“I know you didn’t, sweetheart. I know.”

She frowned. But you don’t know what I’ve done since.

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” he said.

Alex glanced away again. She wrestled with herself, debating whether she really should tell him what she was thinking. But, in the end, her conscience won out—no matter how badly she knew the truth would hurt.

“Um, when I saw you walk into the hotel with Callie last week, it stung. And I know you just went out as friends; I believe you. Callie said the same thing. But, in that moment, I didn’t know what to think. I just saw what I saw, and I got jealous. I felt like I was the furthest thing from your mind. And on top of the shit with Dark Order it was just too much and I… I stayed with Kenny that night.”

She had to tell him. For the sake of honesty, she had to. He let go of her hand and ran his palm over his face. Her heart pounded in her ears.

“Did you sleep with him?” he asked.

“No,” she said.

He went quiet. Contemplative. When he spoke again, there was an edge to his voice that hadn’t been there before. “So what are you saying? That you want to be with him?”

Alex’s brow furrowed. “No. I’m saying exactly what I said. I was hurt and jealous when I saw you walk in with Callie, so I went running to Kenny. It was an emotional decision. But it felt like you’d already moved on.”

Cash cut his eyes at her. “Are you serious? Do you really think I’d do that to Adam? To you?”

“I don’t mean moved on with Callie,” she clarified with a breath. “I mean in general. I mean, you went from saying you wanted to talk to me to fleeing the arena without so much as a word. And then on top of it you went out drinking with my friend instead of trying to talk to me.”

“You could have just as easily texted me, Alex. And I would have told you that it was nothing.”

“I know I could have,” she admitted. “I’m not saying I’m blameless in this; I know I’m not. This whole thing has been a clusterfuck of jealousy, and mistakes, and miscommunication.”

Cash shook his head. “I don’t know. Maybe you’re right. Maybe everything is just too fucked now.”

Alex’s heart dropped into her stomach. With those seven words, just like that, the mood in the room suddenly shifted. There wasn’t hope or forgiveness between them anymore. There was a wall. A dead end of her own construction.

A tear rolled down Alex’s cheek and she wiped it away. A thought lingered on the tip of her tongue, and she couldn’t swallow it down. “Do you think things would be different right now if we’d talked it through that night?”

Cash didn’t look at her as he answered. “I did. But now I’m not sure.”

Alex’s chest constricted. There was nothing left to say; more words would be the casket that put her six feet under. She stood from the couch and walked to the door on shaky legs. As she gripped the doorknob, she looked remorsefully back at him. There was one last thing she had to say.

“For what it’s worth, I do think things would be different if we’d talked that night. But I don’t blame you for thinking otherwise.”

Cash looked up. Their eyes met one last time—his full of hurt, hers regret—and then Alex forced herself out the door.

* * * * * * * * * *

She went through the rest of the afternoon in a daze. She was there but not fully present. Trapped in her thoughts. Listless. Apathetic. And it damn near got her injured again.

A third of the way through the show, Alex, Trent, and Chuck had accompanied Orange to the ring for his interview with Tony Schiavone about his win over Chris Jericho the week before. But Jericho had interrupted. After Jericho had challenged Orange to a ridiculous Mimosa Mayhem match at All Out—which Orange had accepted—the rest of the Inner Circle had surrounded the ring and attacked them. Alex hadn’t reacted quickly enough, and Trent had literally pushed her to safety. It had been a shock to her system, and she’d watched helplessly from the floor as Inner Circle laid waste to her friends and drowned Orange in champagne. Now, as she followed Chuck and Trent through the entrance tunnel to the back, carrying a defeated and embarrassed Orange between them, all Alex wanted was to go back to the hotel, take a hot shower, and go to sleep. She didn’t want to go out anymore. She just wanted to crawl into bed and forget this day had ever happened.

“Alex.”

Someone caught her arm as she crossed through Gorilla. She looked up. Kenny stared down at her, concern etched into his blue eyes. Alex blinked; she’d walked right by him, completely unaware. He was in his gear. His match with the Bucks against Dark Order must be next.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she returned. “They waterboarded Orange with champagne, not me.”

Kenny pursed his lips. “I don’t mean that. You seemed a little… out of it out there. What’s going on?”

She glanced after Chuck, Trent, and Orange as they disappeared backstage. Alex didn’t want to do this with Kenny. Not right now, in the middle of Gorilla, in front of Matt and Nick and a ton of other prying eyes. She wasn’t sure she even wanted to do it at all.

“I said I’m fine, Kenny. Alright?”

She pulled away from him and tried to go after her friends; but he caught her again. She bit down on her jaw in frustration as he stepped in front of her.

“I know that means you’re not,” he said. “What’s wrong?”

Alex let out an agitated breath. “It’s just been a shitty day, alright? But you’ll be happy to know that it’s officially over between Cash and me.”

She looked away, feeling that tightness in her chest again. She hadn’t meant to blurt that out, much less so sarcastically. But maybe it was good that she had. It was her raw emotion. Kenny should feel it.

He moved his hands to her shoulders, gently gripping, his fingers pressing into her skin. “Alex, I’m confused. You spent the night in my bed last week. The way things have been between us… I thought that was what you wanted?”

“It was,” she breathed. “When I woke up with you that morning… it was what I wanted. And when I hugged Cash ten minutes ago, before everything fell apart, that was what I wanted. My heart has been in two places for weeks, and there’s nothing fucking left, Kenny.”

She stared up at him, weary and broken, the truth laid bare at her feet. Kenny searched her eyes, just wanting to understand—

“Hey, Ken, we’re up.”

He closed his eyes at the sound of Nick’s voice. “Alright,” he breathed. He looked back at Alex. “I’m sorry. I promise we’ll talk about this later, okay?”

Alex drew in a steadying breath. She wasn’t sure she would want to talk about it later, but she nodded anyway. “Yeah, okay.”

He gave her a squeeze, and Alex watched as he turned and disappeared down the entrance tunnel, a hollow feeling in her gut.

* * * * * * * * * *

Callie had told Matt she’d meet them at the restaurant. She’d taken more time than she’d expected getting ready before she’d left, carefully applying her makeup and styling her hair. Even Britt had commented on how much care she was paying to her appearance just for dinner with Matt, Nick, and Kenny. Callie had brushed her off, claiming that she just felt good after winning her match against Penelope. But even she hadn’t fully believed herself as she’d said it.

Unsurprisingly, they’d chosen T.G.I. Friday’s. Callie spotted them through the window as she walked toward the building; Nick saw her and waved. When she got inside, she slid into the free spot in the booth next to Matt, across from Nick. Kenny was typing away on his phone, oblivious.

“Hey,” she greeted. “Sorry I’m a little late.”

“No worries,” Nick said. “We’ve only been here like five minutes.”

Matt smiled at her. “I’m glad you came.”

She smiled back. “Thanks for inviting me.”

She opened her menu and started looking—she was starving—when Nick cleared his throat. Callie glanced up. He was staring expectantly at Kenny, still engrossed with his phone. He nudged him with his elbow.

“What?” Kenny looked up, startled. “Oh, hey, Callie,” he said, and went right back to typing.

“Are you writing a novel there, bud?” Matt asked.

Kenny glanced up just long enough to shoot him a sarcastic glare. Matt looked apologetically back at Callie. She rolled her eyes and shook her head, as if to say it was fine.

“Congrats on winning your match tonight, by the way,” Nick said.

“Oh, thanks,” Callie smiled. “It felt good. Congrats on winning yours, too. I’m sure Alex appreciated your extra effort after the bell, Kenny.”

The air seemed to thicken as Kenny looked up at her snide comment. She didn’t need to elaborate—they all knew exactly what she meant. After Kenny had put away Dark Order’s Five with a One-Winged Angel, he’d grabbed a steel chair and nearly powerbombed him on it; Matt had pulled the chair out of the way just in time. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that he’d tried the stunt to avenge Alex for last week. In fact, he’d seemed to wrestle that whole match angry. He definitely looked angry now.

“I don’t know; we haven’t talked about it,” he evenly returned. “Actually, I think Alex is out drinking with your boyfriend right now.”

He set his phone down and opened his menu. Callie’s eyes narrowed. This was going to be a long dinner.

* * * * * * * * * *

“Okay. You, me, darts. If I win, you show me your boobs.”

Adam watched as Alex playfully rolled her eyes at Trent’s suggestion. She was a shot of Jose and a beer-and-a-half deep and feeling it; he could tell by the lazy smile on her lips. She always got that smile when she drank.

“And if I win?” she asked.

Trent looked up, deep in thought. “If you win… I’ll pay for your next set of gear.”

“Deal,” Alex immediately accepted, and she grabbed Trent’s wrist and pulled him over to the dart boards, a satisfied grin on his face. Adam shook his head as they went.

“Y’all are weird,” he said with a drink of his nearly empty beer.

“Oh come on,” Chuck returned. “You’ve known Alex longer than us. You were probably acquainted with Mariposa years before we ever gave her a name.”

He shook his head. “No comment.”

“That’s guilty,” James quipped.

“Yeah, it is,” Chuck smirked in agreement.

Adam drained the rest of his beer to hide his grin. He almost hadn’t come out with them tonight—he was surprised they’d still wanted to at all, after what the Inner Circle had done to Orange—but he was glad he had. If he hadn’t, he’d just be sitting in his hotel room, ruminating. About how his relationships with his girlfriend and his tag team partner were falling apart at the seams, about how he wasn’t sure who his real friends were anymore. Buzzing on whiskey and with nothing better to do, he’d confronted FTR back at the arena about what they’d done to Ricky Morton last week, about how Dax had faked a leg injury the week before that—and they’d completely turned it around on him. Something about how it wasn’t personal; how they’d needed to know if they could trust him after all the nasty things Matt, Nick, and Kenny had said about them; something about how he’d always been stuck in their shadow. They weren’t wrong. And with a tag team gauntlet match next week to determine who would get a shot at Adam and Kenny’s championships at All Out, Adam wasn’t sure he wanted to give Matt and Nick yet another opportunity to eclipse him.

“You guys want another?” James asked.

“Yeah,” Chuck said while Adam nodded. “Put it on Trent’s tab.”

James pointed at him as he stood from the table. “Was already planning on it.”

He walked off, and Adam’s eyes drifted to where Alex played darts with Trent. She stood close to him, her fingers laced behind her back, and just as he was about to throw his dart, she tilted her chin up, pursed her lips, and blew into his ear. He flinched, and she let out a loud laugh as he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close to say something in her ear. Alex pushed him away, a flirtatious grin on her face, and Trent turned back to the board and threw his dart.

“Trent certainly seems to like Mariposa,” Adam remarked.

Chuck scoffed as he glanced over his shoulder. “Are you kidding? He loves her.” He turned back around. “It annoyed me when I had feelings for Alex, too.”

Adam went stiff. He reflexively reached for his beer only to remember he’d finished it. He gripped his empty glass anyway, just to have something to do. “Too?” he shot.

Chuck met his question with skeptical eyes. “Come on, man. I recognize that look.”

Adam shifted in his seat. “I don’t know what look you’re talking about,” he said—but Chuck didn’t buy that, either.

“Sure, you don’t,” he dismissed.

Adam bit down on his jaw and glanced toward the bar. James needed to get back with the beer, already.

“Look, I get it,” Chuck went on. “Alex is your friend, and your relationship status is complicated right now. And so is Alex’s,” he said with a roll of his eyes. “Plus, there was that time Callie hit her with a chair because she thought you two were screwing around. I don’t think I’d want to prove her right, either.”

Adam rolled his eyes. “Is there a point you’re trying to make?”

He shook his head. “Not really. I’m just saying; I recognize that look.”

James returned with a beer pitcher in hand, and not a moment too soon. “Trent was feeling generous,” he smirked as he set it on the table.

Adam grabbed it and refilled his glass. The way this night was going, he might need a whole pitcher to himself before it was over.

* * * * * * * * * *

Alex almost hadn’t come out tonight, but she was glad she had. If she hadn’t, she’d just be laying in her and Chuck’s hotel room, replaying her conversation with Cash and all of the decisions that had led up to it. The boys had no idea what had happened; she didn’t want to tell them, didn’t want to talk about it. Thankfully, they’d been too preoccupied with what had happened to Orange and the upcoming tag team gauntlet match to ask her why she’d been so spacey all day. She hoped it stayed that way. She just wanted to forget about it.

“You do realize you’re about to lose, right?”

She pursed her lips at Trent. “We haven’t been scoring properly.”

“But I’ve gotten more closer to the bullseye than you.”

Alex just took another sip of her beer. Trent squared up and tossed his final dart. It stuck in the single bullseye.

He gave her a cocky smirk. “I’d say that’s a pretty definitive victory.”

“Congratulations,” she slyly returned.

He rubbed his hands together, basking in his win. “So, where do you want to do this? The bathroom? Actually, no—I can wait until we get back to the hotel. I want you to be as comfortable as possible.”

Alex stepped close and put her hand on his shoulder; he reflexively put his on her hip. She frowned apologetically up at him. “Oh, Trent. Mariposa made the bet, but it’s Alex’s body.”

His head fell back. “Goddammit,” he breathed.

A wide grin broke out over her face. “Come on, I need a refill.”

They walked back to the table. Adam sat alone with a nearly empty pitcher of beer, his phone in his hand. Alex gave him curious look as she sat down across from him.

“Where’re Chuck and James?”

He glanced up at her. “Oh, they went to buy shots and a round of pool on Trent’s tab.”

“What?” With that Trent hurried off to the other side of the bar, leaving Alex alone with Adam. She reached for the beer pitcher.

“Want more?” she offered.

He shook his head. “No,” he said, and so she emptied it into her glass. “So, did you lose?” he asked her.

“Yeah,” she answered. “But he’s not seeing anything.”

Adam shook his head again, a smirk on his lips. “You’re a tease, you know that?”

“I take that as a compliment, thank you very much.” She grinned at him as she reached for her purse and pulled out her phone. She’d put it on silent and thrown it in her bag as soon as they’d arrived, keeping it out of sight and out of mind; but she couldn’t avoid the temptation any longer. She was expecting to see a whole lot of nothing—but she had a text, unsurprisingly, from Kenny. Her pulse started to race as she read it.

I’m sorry that you’ve felt torn in two the last few weeks, Alex. It kills me to know that I’ve been a cause of it. All I want is for you to be happy, no matter what that means. I understand if you need some time and space. I’ll be here. You have my whole heart.

He ended it with a red heart emoji. A chaotic mix of emotions battled within Alex as she stared at it—anger, frustration, love. She couldn’t tell which one of them would win out in the end.

“Is everything alright?”

She looked up at Adam’s question. “Yeah,” she noncommittally answered as she slipped her phone back in her purse. “It was just a text from Kenny.”

He arched a brow. “You’re not gonna answer it?”

“No,” she returned. “Not right now.”

The atmosphere grew awkward and she took a sip of her beer. Alex didn’t think he would ask; he couldn’t ask without opening up the floor for questions about his personal life, too, and she knew he didn’t want to talk about his any more than she wanted to talk about hers.

But she thought wrong.

“Do you want to be with him?”

Alex glanced across the bar. It didn’t look like the boys would be coming back anytime soon, so she obliged him. “The answer to that question seems to change every day.”

He nodded. “I guess it’s the same for Cash?”

She looked down at her drink. “Well, Cash pretty much closed the door on us today so. No.”

If Adam was surprised to hear that, Alex couldn’t tell. He had a quiet, introspective look on his face, like he wasn’t sure what to say. No—like he had something to say but wasn’t sure he should. She turned the tables on him before he had the chance to spit it out.

“What about Callie? Is that how you feel about her?”

He nodded. “Yeah,” he admitted.

Alex let out a frustrated huff. She propped her elbow on the table and leaned her head in her hand, tired. “Why?” she asked. “What happened? Did you fall out of love, or something?”

He stared at a spot on the table. “I don’t know if I fell out of love so much as her insecurities just became a self-fulfilling prophecy.”

Alex froze. She gripped her drink harder, pressing her fingertips against the glass. Her voice came out nervous as she asked, “A self-fulfilling prophecy about what?”

Adam’s eyes met hers, vulnerable and blue. Obvious. “You know what, Alex.”

Alex’s heart leapt into her throat. This wasn’t happening. Not here, not now, not after all the other shit she’d already gone through. What was he thinking? She couldn’t deal with it. She couldn’t.

“I’m gonna go make sure Trent doesn’t kill them,” she said, and she grabbed her purse and hurried away in panic, pretending that her oldest friend hadn’t just admitted that to her.

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pundergrad · 3 years

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Guys I. I've had a revelation tonight.

All my group essay team members put their work in the google doc and I had a read through most of it. And I. I don't know the emotion that I'm feeling. It's somewhere between humour and sadness.

The revelation is that I can just. Not care so much about school, apparently.

I'm in my fourth year of uni and I wish I was as carefree as my team members seem to be. Maybe this is a class they don't mind bludging, and they're only doing it to complete course requirements. But this essay is worth 40% of our grade so I thought maybe they'd bring some kinda Big Game to the table, y'know?

The quality of half of their paragraphs was... Not what I expected of third-year uni students. One person, who I will refer to as Shakespeare, had around 30% of their work written as direct quotes, and I couldn't tell where the description of research ended and analytic thought began. Another person, henceforth Bart Simpson, has basically written the same sentence about 25 times, all in slightly different ways, extremely vague, had missed so many citations, and hadn't connected the majority of points made across their paragraphs. The introduction could have easily been written last, because the person responsible for it, hereto-forth known as Skimp, was the last to upload their sections, and there were no references in the intro, so it would have been easy to make a bunch of vague statements about what would be mentioned in the body of the essay. But no. Instead Skimp wrote an intro that contradicts many of the points made in other sections of the essay, a lot of which is not followed up on in the body, and they haven't given even a single source for the definition they were tasked with.

I swear I must have collected 30 sources for my sections, dug deep into the digital libraries for original sources wherever possible, and tried so many variations of how to arrange my statements to create the smoothest flow - which is difficult when my sections would be so far apart in the final draft, but I tried. I tried to cover a broad range of topics as concisely as possible. I at least made an effort to use synonyms.

Shakespeare said at least 4 different things were crucial to understanding the topic. I get that it's easy to reuse words when the goal is to write 1700-ish, but William. Buddy. Thesaurus.com is right there. I'm pretty sure Shakespeare didn't fill their part of the word count, they must've been about 250 words short.

Meanwhile there was Bart Simpson, beginning and ending all their paragraphs with basically the same phrase, and filling out the paragraphs with 'the studies say this... But this isn't always true' and then not providing evidence for this contradiction, all the while leaving out citations and forgetting to finish half of their sentences. They got almost 1200 words out of this technique, with maybe 13 sources in total, one of which was the textbook for the class which is. Not a primary source. And they cited the author of the textbook as a researcher for the ideas that were mentioned, instead of the three very specific theorists these ideas came from during the second week of class. There's no way that'll fly when it comes to judging the extent of our research!

Finally, after the three of us have tried checking over each other's paragraphs, making edits, desperately trying to find clarity and extra words because we're still under even after I exceeded my word count goal, Skimp rolls into the doc. By this point, Shakespeare and I have finalised our sections, and proofread/edited each others work because that's what was agreed. Bart Simpson and Skimp were meant to proofread and edit for each other. If we had time, we'd go over the whole thing and try to make it coherent.

Skimp struts into the group document and starts reading from the beginning. Keep in mind, I had to take on the role of editing and proofreading Bart Simpson's work. So as the realisation dawns on me that, when Bart Simpson reported to the professor that our group was doing Really Well and we were On Track for the Deadline - filling me with dread because I felt like I hadn't written a thing of worth - they were really saying I Don't Care If This Essay Flops, 'at least we wrote words', etc. But then.

Then Skimp starts editing from the beginning of the essay. Making edits to Shakespeare and my sections, which had been finalised. Filling up our email boxes with tens of Suggestions, instead of leaving Comments. Following up on comments that I had already made with further Suggestions that repeated what I'd commented about. My phone is buzzing every five minutes with Suggestions. Anyone who's used Google Docs knows that Suggestions clog up the body of text with incoherent blue text. I am drowning in a sea of blue Suggestions.

By now I've finished editing Bart Simpson's work for Skimp. The comments I left asking for citations are half followed up on, half ignored. I still don't know whether they edited the unfinished sentences, but a promise was made to do so. Bart Simpson has decided to collate everyone's work even though they won't be available tomorrow for final revision, so I left it up to them to fulfil their part of the editing.

Skimp finally finishes giving Suggestions on the whole essay. Despite the chat history for this group, Skimp only now realises that my and Shakespeare's sections had been finalised, and that their Suggestions probably won't be involved in the final draft. Skimp approves their own work for the final draft and sends their sections to Bart Simpson, who - if their responses I'm the group chat are anything to go by - I can only assume is fed up from my relatively excessive editing and comments, and also from the delay in the finalisation process. Bart makes a promise that they'll be at work for all of Submission Day, so the three of us will be responsible for the final product. Sure. Work is a commitment. We were behind schedule. That's a reasonable outcome. But this was coming from someone who copied a dot-pointed list from the source into the essay and forgot to cite it as a direct quote, which would have put us all at risk of plagiarism.

I haven't read the rest of Skimp's sections. Frankly, I dread the potential plagiarism charges that we'll get from directly quoting so much content. We are barely scraping the minimum word count. This essay doesn't make a lick of sense.

Maybe there's reasons for this. I don't know what my team members' lives are like. They could be Going Through It right now.

But they gave me the impression they were 100% on board, in sync, and on task for this essay. I thought I was the one falling off the horse, with how badly my executive dysfunction hit when faced with such a massive assignment. I thought I was a Science Student in a group of Social Studies Geniuses. I haven't felt this responsible for a group project since seventh grade.

I can't believe I put off two other projects for this, and got an extension for another. I'm tired.

#adhd #adhd c #adhd combined #executive dysfunction #studyblr #self diagnosed #group project

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knovesstorytelling · 3 years

Text

Murray Mysteries Transcript S1E13

Episode 13. Waiting Room

Written by May Toudic

Mina: Welcome to Murray Mysteries

[Theme music plays.]

Van Hellsing: Right. Just got to the hospital, only a few minutes behind the ambulance. Considering how busy this place is, I don’t think we’ll get any updates for a few hours at the very least. I brought the recordings along, there are several things that intrigue me, but I want to listen to them more. First of all, this is the second time—

Jane (interrupting): Excuse me. What are you doing?

Van Hellsing: Taking a page out of your book. Or a file out of your audio recording collection, should I say?

Jane: Do you really think that now is the time to, to spout all your feelings into a recording app? Lucy could be dying in there.

Van Hellsing: And there’s nothing we can do about that. So we may as well find out what happened and how we can prevent it from happening again.

Jane: Unbelievable.

Van Hellsing: I’m simply doing my job, Jane. You asked me to help and that is exactly what I’m doing.

Jane: Fine. Do your thing. I need some air and quiet.

[Footsteps. A beep. Jane sighs.]

Jane: Good day dear listeners. No. No, it’s not. Hello, I have… I’m afraid I have bad news.

[She sighs.]

Jane: This is ridiculous. I don’t know anyone, I don’t have to tell them—

Quincy: What about me then?

Jane: Quincy! What are you doing here?

Quincy: Art called me. Said they hadn’t heard from you in a while and asked if I check up on you and Lucy. I couldn’t find anyone at the house, so I figured—

Jane: This was the next best place to look.

Quincy: ‘Fraid so. Wish I hadn’t been right about that. What happened?

Jane: It’s a long story. You should come in.

[A beep.]

Quincy: So she had a relapse because her mother died?

Van Hellsing: That is one possible explanation, yes.

Quincy: What’s the other?

Van Hellsing: It doesn’t matter now. I was thinking while you were out Jane, and I think I should fill out the death certificate.

Jane: For Lucy?

Van Hellsing: For her mother. We both know she had a heart disease. I can put it down as cause of death. If there’s an inquest…

Quincy: Wouldn’t it help if the police had a look at the place? It is, you know, their job.

Van Hellsing: Lucy is barely hanging on right now, I’m afraid any additional stress might be too much. Besides, the police won’t have any idea.

Quincy: And you do?

Van Hellsing: I do.

Quincy: Alright then.

Jane: Really?

Quincy: Well, you’re both smart, competent women and I know better than to get in your way. I don’t know this professor, no offence ma’am. But I trust you, doc and you trust her, so I guess I do her too.

Van Hellsing: Thank you, Mr. Morris.

Quincy: Quincy, please. I’m not that formal.

Van Hellsing: I can see that. It’s a nice hat you’re wearing.

Quincy: Oh. Right. Should probably take that off. Respect for the… sick and all that.

Van Hellsing: I don’t think the sick care much about a hat. I think I’m going to take a stroll back to my hotel and clean up, if you don’t mind. Would either of you like me to bring some coffee back?

Jane: Yes, please.

Quincy: Why not.

Van Hellsing: Good. I won’t be too long.

[Footsteps.]

Quincy: What’s happening to her, Jane?

Jane: I’m… not sure. It’s been going on for a while.

Quincy: Care to catch me up?

Jane: Actually, I don’t have to. Do you have your phone?

Quincy: Yeah, here.

Jane: There’s something you should listen to. Although it might take a while.

Quincy: We’ve got time, don’t we?

Jane: We’ve got time.

[A beep.]

Quincy: That’s it?

Jane: You’ve been listening to this for almost two hours. Aren’t you tired?

Quincy: Of your voice? Never. It’s just… I was expecting some answers.

Jane: Tell me about it.

Quincy: Your professor, for instance, seems to know what she’s talking about.

Jane: She likes to keep her theories close to the vest until she can prove them. She hasn’t told me anything, nothing that makes any sense. Lucy is losing alarming amounts of blood and it keeps happening, but I’ve no idea how—

Van Hellsing (interrupting): How what?

Quincy: How about everything?

Jane: Did you manage to get some rest?

Van Hellsing: Not exactly. I took a shower, got changed, and did some research.

Quincy: Find anything interesting?

Van Hellsing: Certainly. Two large coffees, and a pastry selection.

Quincy: That’s not what I—

Jane: Coffee! Thank you.

[She sighs.]

Jane: I needed that.

Quincy: Clearly.

Nurse: Excuse me, are you here for Miss Westenra?

Jane: Yes. Is she okay?

Nurse: She’s stable and waking up. You can see her if you want, but only one at a time.

Quincy: Jane?

Jane: You go, I’ll— I’ll wait.

Quincy: You sure?

Jane: Yes! Don’t keep her waiting.

[Footsteps.]

Van Hellsing: She said herself it wasn’t your fault.

Jane: I know.

Van Hellsing: She asked you not to blame yourself.

Jane (annoyed): I know.

Van Hellsing: But you still can’t face her.

Jane: No.

Van Hellsing: That’s okay. Take your time.

[A beep.]

Jane: It’s been a few days now. Art came back as soon as we gave them the news. They’ve been taking turns keeping Lucy company with the others. I’ve been compiling some of our recordings from the waiting room to pass the time, I guess. Or because I feel like I owe you the full story. I don’t know.

[She sighs.]

Jane: She’s not doing well. Lucy. We were hoping when she woke up, but… she’s been getting worse. The doctors think she hasn’t got much longer. They’re saying I should see her now if I want the chance to say goodbye. I need more time, but there is no more time. I don’t have a choice. It’s now or never.

Jane: I’m going to do it. I owe her that. I want to say sorry, even if she scolds me for it. Even if she doesn’t blame me because I blame me. I know what she said, but that’s ridiculous. You can’t tell someone not to blame themselves for letting you down, for letting you die. You just… can’t. I’m going to do it. I’m going. I am.

[Credits music plays.]

Credits: Murray Mysteries is a Knoves Storytelling production. This episode was written and produced by May Toudic and featured Bebhinn Tankard as Dr. Jane Seward, Rebecca Krause as Professor Van Hellsing, May Toudic as the nurse, and Tom Magennis as Quincy Morris. Original music by Sophie K. If you like our show, and would like to support us, you can sign for our Patreon at Pateron.com/KnovesStorytelling or follow us on Twitter, Instagram and Tumblr. Thank you for listening.

#mm transcripts

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meditationnearme · 3 years

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Is This Crazy New Treatment The Cure To Your Insomnia? - how do you reduce stress

NuCalm promotes itself as neuroscience-backed tension and sleep technology. In practice, though, it simply helped me nap. I recently awakened from a delightful 20-minute nap. Really, it was more of a 10-minute half-nap half-trance, preceded by ideas of what I required to accomplish today that slowly liquified into the types of non-sequitur visions that take place because earliest phase of sleep.

In some way, this was rejuvenating. For the last week, I have actually been checking out the NuCalm system. According to its website, NuCalm is "the world's only trademarked neuroscience innovation clinically shown to deal with stress and improve sleep quality without drugs." It includes a neuroacoustic software application app utilized for 20- to 120-minute increments, an eye mask and the abovementioned processing discs, and in practice includes listening to ambient, cinematic sounds (comparable to this) with your eyes closed and a sticker label stuck to your inner arm.

Each of the elements are designed to set off the body's parasympathetic nervous system, which aids with recovery and relaxation. The disc is created to launch gamma-aminobutyric acid, a neurotransmitter that inhibits cortisol and adrenaline. With this and the app, NuCalm halts your body's tension action and therefore the mental and physical toll tension can handle the body.

military, 49 sports teams and in over a million surgical treatments. Some dental offices even utilize it for clients who hesitate of the dental expert. NuCalm's 'bio-signal processing disc' Although the product is touted as a way of possibly healing the body from injury, addiction and physical concerns, it appears predominately useful for relaxation and anxiety.

By this procedure, my use of NuCalm was a success: After my 20-minute session this afternoon, I certainly felt far more refreshed and awake. While a few of my sessions kept me conscious the whole time, I at least felt a bit more relaxed than previously. At the start, I 'd believed I was supposed to treat the session like a meditation, preventing letting my ideas roam.

Why I was so focused upon events of this age during my session is a secret to me, but regardless, I think I still dropped off to sleep for about five minutes. Unusually enough, a FAQ section of the app states that memory recollection is a typical characteristic of "theta brainwave variety," and that recalling memories in this phase allows you to dissociate negative feelings from them.

Overall, NuCalm did enable me to take best little afternoon naps in a structured method. I am decent at sleeping as it is, but I do believe something about NuCalm, whether it be the discs or the noises or the timer, made those naps more effective than usual. One glaring problem with NuCalm, nevertheless, is its rate.

Perhaps as I keep utilizing it, I'll find that this is a totally reasonable expense for the advantage of much better relaxation, health and sleep. At this moment, however, I 'd pay possibly $10 a month. The app likewise requires some major upgrading, as it presently only uses 3 various session types (recharge, reboot and rescue) at differing lengths and with a rather cumbersome layout.

Instead, it feels rudimentary, with lesser parts of the app like the post-session debriefing FAQ totally nonfunctional. I have actually taken some fantastic naps this last week, and I'll keep utilizing NuCalm for this function. It's a nearly simple and easy way of fitting 20 minutes of pure relaxation into my day. Whether those bio-signalling dics do anything, I'm still suspicious in addition to a cleaner app, I 'd need to get a bit more trust in the science to pay $60 a month.

Magdalene Taylor is a junior staff writer at MEL, where she began working two weeks after finishing college. Her work is a mix of cultural analysis and service, covering whatever from reconsiderations of low-brow hits like Joe Dirt and Nickelback to modern disability issues, OnlyFans and the kinds of small concerns about life like why baby carrots are so wet.

According to the company, thirty minutes of NuCalm is equal to 2 to 3 hours of corrective sleep. The NuCalm website boasts that the de-stressing treatment takes simply 2 minutes to administer and less than 5 minutes to accomplish its effects, making it the extremely meaning of a quick repair.

With its sleek website and claims of high-tech, borderline-magic outcomes, I half expected my NuCalm experience to occur in the literal future or, at really least, a center that reeked of sci-fi vibes. I believe I was imagining a workplace that looked like the ship from Passengers and a large set-up reminiscent of the memory-implanting tech from Total Remember or possibly even a coffin-like pod directly out of The Fifth Component.

My NuCalm treatment was not administered on the set of a motion picture, but it also wasn't administered in a dental expert's workplace. On the early morning of my visit, I drove across Los Angeles to Santa Monica to the workplaces of an authentic medical professional to the stars, whose Hollywood customers includes starlets, authors and motivational masters, and who boasts know-how in energy medication, integrative medication and bioidentical hormone replacement treatment.

Rather, my NuCalm experience began in a (actively) dimly lit waiting room that looked more like the living-room of an eccentric, well-traveled college professor than a medical center. The doctor was fashionably late not with another patient, simply in getting to the office. While the tardiness might usually have actually frustrated me, here, it appeared like part of the experience, almost like a sneak peek of the outcomes of the high-tech treatment that awaited me.

Throughout a quick consultation, the physician discussed the NuCalm procedure and summarized the science behind it (more on that later). The gist of the system, I learned, was this: I would chew a tablet of gamma-Aminobutyric acid, or -aminobutyric acid (or GABA, for short), a repressive neurotransmitter suggested to decrease activity in my nerve system.

I would listen, through headphones, to binaural beat music music with two various balanced pulses that activates Alpha and Theta brain waves, which are connected with the very first stage of deep sleep and meditation. Likewise, I would be blindfolded. And, in Doc Hollywood's workplace, I would do all of this while lying on a waterbed although the waterbed, I learned, is not a standard or needed element of the treatment.

I was led to a small exam space (or, possibly, a large closet), where I was offered a big GABA tablet and told to chew but not swallow it while the medical professional marked time the binaural beats and connected the Biosignal Processing Disc to my wrist. Lastly, after what seemed like a much longer duration of time than it possibly could have been, I was informed to swallow the GABA vitamin sludge, which had the artificially sweet, fruity taste and distinctly milky taste and texture of Flinstones vitamins that are a couple of months past their expiration date.

The NuCalm treatment itself was completely pleasant. The music was calming but interesting (I've since registered for a binaural beats playlist on Spotify bless the web). The milky, orange-adjacent taste of the GABA tablet didn't remain in a particularly noticeable way. And the waterbed was warmed, that made for a relaxing place to lie down and rest.

What am I doing incorrect? Why don't I feel calm? If science can't make me chill TF out, am I just a lost cause? Perhaps if I do a body scan, I'll be able to feel the results. That's a good concept. I'm going to do a body scan. This will resemble mindfulness on steroids orange-flavored, healthy steroids.

I am broken. I was wrong. It was not practically over. Maybe it's the kind of thing you can't feel in the moment, however I'll observe a substantial distinction when it's over. I have a lot work to do. Stop thinking of work and being stressed. That beats the entire purpose.

I asked how typically he advised that individuals come in for NuCalm treatments and he stated that it differs, but that some individuals "need it daily." I couldn't help however think, based on my experience and the lack of concrete outcomes, that that appeared excessive. He handed me some research study further discussing the science behind NuCalm prior to rushing off to his next appointment, and I left sensation disappointed and a little anxious about my failure to feel less distressed through the treatment.

For the record, it's not. I discovered the experience to be a little New Age-y in practice, however the system really is based in science. Drawing from neuroscience research into the patterns the brain goes through throughout natural periods of relaxation, every component of NuCalm is created to simulate that process and prompt a stressed brain to switch gears to a more relaxed state.

NuCalm works specifically on the body's inhibitory system, the GABAergic system. This gadget is bio-mimetic in that it resets the naturally taking place negative feedback loop of the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, which when properly functioning is expected to shut down and stop releasing cortisol from the adrenal glands after the end of a stressful occasion.

Individuals in this state are physically not able to have a distressed reaction. Within moments of application, users will start to feel remedy for the 'fight-or-flight' considerate nervous system action and their tension hormonal agent (cortisol) levels will start to decline as the HPA axis is hindered." Here's a quick breakdown of the science behind each phase of the NuCalm process.

It's really the primary repressive neurotransmitter system in brain circuits. Gamma-Aminobutyric Acid is a relaxation neurotransmitter that the body produces naturally when we're preparing yourself to sleep, so the strategy of utilizing GABA supplements to signify the brain that it's time to relax makes good sense. What's not completely clear, nevertheless, is how effective oral GABA supplements remain in triggering those advantages.

While some studies have actually revealed that GABA can cross the blood-brain barrier, others have shown the opposite, suggesting a possible placebo result behind perceived benefits of the supplements. Researchers agree that more research is needed to figure out how useful GABA supplements really are. According to NuCalm's website, the disc "simplifies the process of triggering the parasympathetic worried system, by tapping into the body's Pericardium Meridian with specific electromagnetic (EM) frequencies." The disc (which, again, was a round sticker, about the size of a quarter, that was used to the within of my wrist) was, undoubtedly, my greatest source of apprehension at the same time, and NuCalm's official explanation of the science behind it highlights the most Brand-new Age-y vibes of the company.

It is hypothesized that if you can restore the frequencies that take a trip through the Meridians you can reinstate ideal physiology. Each NuCalm disc holds the EM frequency patterns of GABA and its precursors to provide a pure biological signal to your body. When put on the within your left wrist, at your Pericardium-6 acupuncture point, the disc sends a signal to the pericardium of your heart to trigger regional parasympathetic nerve fibers, which then transfer the signal to your brain telling it to increase vagal nerve output and start the process of decreasing the body.

In 2017, Gwyneth Paltrow's GOOP promoted a $120 brand name of bio-frequency stickers, leading to a short-lived viral moment for the tech. Sadly for proponents of the devices, the action wasn't fantastic, with Mark Shelhamer, previous chief scientist at NASA's human research division, significantly decrying the GOOP-endorsed product as "snake oil." Although the NuCalm site describes that "each disc holds the electromagnetic frequency patterns of GABA and its precursors to provide a pure biosignal to your body," it's unclear exactly how putting the sticker on your wrist sets off that shipment.

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#meditation for sleep

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cherryonigiri · 4 years

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hi!! um so...i’m currently writing a hq long fic that i’m planning to post on ao3, but i’m having a hard time motivating myself? like, i don’t have writers block, bc when i actually sit down i can just start and don’t stop. but i can’t find a schedule that’s good for me for writing or motivation to go sit down and write for a bit, even if i want to. do you have any tips or help on this? btw i luv ur blog sm!! ..)

hi!!! first of all, kudos to you for being able to just write when you will it! I struggle with getting words on paper (i have won staring contests with google docs oops) and i have major writers block most of the time. But yeah, I sometimes find it super hard to be motivated to sit down and WRITE. there are so many distractions/things to do. I guess here are a few of my tips:

Set concrete and achievable goals: this can be something like: “I want to finish this scene or this description” or it can be something a little more measurable like: “I want to write at least 500 words of this section” or “finish chapter 1.” Setting concrete goals beyond “I want to work on this fic” helps break up a long fic into short tasks! I encourage you to not set goals longer than writing a chapter at a time. If anything, splitting up a chapter into mini tasks does two things: 1) it makes writing seem more achievable and 2) It gives you moments to feel proud of/an extra positivity boost that can help you with motivation. Be realistic! It’s okay to have long goals like “I’ll finish 4 chapters by the end of this week,” but break them up into realistic/achievable components. Hold yourself accountable by splitting a large goal into tasks - this has helped me keep on track for my own wips.

The Pomodoro (Tomato) technique: this is a time management technique that a college professor taught me and wow I’ve never written a paper or fic with as much efficiency as have without this method. Here’s a link to more info on the method but it essentially boils down to:

Set a task/goal (Ex. I want to finish 3 paragraphs, this chapter, etc.) This method works well with a range of sizes, but try to set it to something you know for sure you can achieve within a day, but long enough that it’s something you’ll need to spend some time on it.

Start a timer for 25 minutes and work on the task

Once the timer goes off STOP IMMEDIATELY. (Jot down/type a note on what you left off on/or finish the last sentence)

Draw a check mark on a piece of paper

If you have less than 4 check marks take a short break (3-5 minutes)

If you have 4 take a longer break + reset your check mark count to zero (15-30 minutes).

You can always adjust how long you are writing for (I prefer 15-20 minute chunks instead of 25) or the number of check marks to suit your schedule. Sometimes I spread the writing sessions throughout the day if i’m busy. But this is a really effective way to budget your time + give some structure to how you write.

Motivation: this is a tough one. Motivation is super fickle and can be there and then disappear minutes later. I encourage you to stop writing if you feel drained/like it is a burden or are generally unhappy with how your writing is turning out. At least take a break. Fresh eyes can often give you the new perspective you need. Also - talk to people! My mutuals often are the ones who inspire me over and over again because we’ll just rant about anime men and then suddenly I have a brilliant idea that I want to write! If you want you can always message me 😊

Making time/space: get into a routine! I have a DAILY alarm on my phone that goes off at 10 PM. If i’m not writing by then, that’s my signal to start writing. I try to finish all my work before 10 or in the morning when i wake up. If this isn’t possible, which is totally fine, plan ahead! Block out time/put it in your calendar. Do something to make yourself aware that this time is set aside for your passion! Doing little things to affirm and confirm that writing is a part of my day helps me make the mental space I need to commit to sitting down and writing! Also, if it helps, try writing in a designated space (at a desk, on a specific couch/chair, in bed). Having a space you associate with writing/productivity can also help!

I hope this helps a bit! - alice

#alice talks #writing advice

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femnet · 5 years

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My native language is Spanish, but I’ve been writing regularly and extensively in English for the past ten years. A big part of my writing consists of fanfiction stories: I have +140 posted works plus so many WIPs (some that will never be read by anyone else) I’ve lost count of them.

As much as I know I’ve learned and gotten better over the years, I still second guess myself and think my writing can’t be better than a native speaker’s. However, people often tell me they wouldn’t have guessed that my mother tongue isn’t English!

If I had to give you any advice for learning to write in a second language in a natural way, I would say there are three key points:

📝 Read a lot in that language: When I first discovered fanfic, all my English knowledge came from my classes, workbooks, and professors. So it was correct, but a little stiff. Interacting with people online and reading in English made my own writing richer and more natural. You know how they say people have better grammar and spelling when they read a lot? That applies to learning another language, too! Pick stories written by native speakers and pay attention to the words they use, the ways they structure their story/paragraphs/sentences, their idioms, etc. If you read a story and you like, for example, their action sequences, their dialogues, their smut, or their descriptions, bookmark it or write it down. When you’re writing your own story, go back to those examples and look at how they did it. Obviously, you’re not going to copy off them, but just like with drawing, it’s okay to use references. I still do it sometimes when I’m stuck with my writing. It’s useful to ask yourself stuff like “how was this story introduced?“, “what is it about this scene that made me love it?”, “do I like stories written in first person or third? and how do I feel about head-hopping?” and look for those answers in your favourite writing.

📝 Write a lot in that language: This is an obvious one, but what I mean by it is, write your story even if you don’t think you can and use a bilingual dictionary a lot and unapologetically while doing it. I’m a big fan of dictionaries! Back in the day, I used to handwrite my fics and I used a paperback copy (I actually relied on three different dictionaries, and my most consulted one is dog-eared by now). Then I switched to digital, so when I’m writing on a computer I use my favourite online site and I have an app for when I write on my phone. I used to check 90% of the words I wanted to use; I’ve gotten better but I still check it quite a lot. Online dictionaries that show you not just the translation but the definition, synonyms and how to use it in context are the best (I use Reverso). Practice makes, if not perfect, at least better.

📝 Ask a native speaker to look over your work and offer suggestions: This is so incredibly helpful. I think that, because of Tumblr’s more informal setting, most people don’t use beta readers for their fanfiction anymore, but they were required if you wanted to post your story in forums or fic archives so it became a habit for me. The “least” your beta reader will do is check your spelling and grammar, but it’s best if they can genuinely (and respectfully) tell you if a certain phrasing doesn’t work naturally or if the word you’re using isn’t really common for a native speaker to say, and offer alternatives. This isn’t good just to polish the final product but also as a learning experience: I always ask people to highlight what they correct (on Google Docs they can use Suggesting instead of Editing) so then I can compare it to what I wrote. If you have any questions, you should be able to ask your beta-reader about them (to learn, but also because maybe they misunderstood what you were trying to say and you can find what works best together!) You should also be clear on what you’re trying to do with that story and set boundaries: if your editor suggests you change the style of a sentence but it goes against the image you have in your head, ask why, try to rephrase it yourself and ask if it’s better; don’t accept suggestions blindly.

These tips seem obvious, but it’s basically what you do when you’re first learning to write in your native language (read, write, have someone to correct your writing, learn from it)—you just have to think a bit more and pay extra attention when it’s in a second language.

Some helpful writing resources:

Tip of my tongue

OneLook Reverse Dictionary and Thesaurus

Hemingway Editor

Show! Don’t Tell. Avoid These 10 Verbs That Make You Tell

Cheat sheets for writing body language

45 Ways To Avoid Using The Word “Very”

Get writing! ✨

#advice #writing advice #learning languages #by dessi #february 2019

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patriotstudies · 5 years

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How to Survive Group Projects

Group projects have the potential to teach a lot of necessary skills to survive in respective careers, such as:

Networking

Time Management

Project Management

Organization

Teamwork

Communication

Problem Solving

Creativity

Analytical/Critical Thinking

Writing

Presenting/Public Speaking

Decision Making

Improving Work Ethic and/or Productivity

Accepting Feedback

Persuasion/Influencing

There are others, I’m sure, but these are the ones I specifically learned from my experiences in the business school.

However, the problem arises when group members neglect doing their fair share or do not keep their promises, and end up being unproductive members of the group project. So, based on my experiences so far, I’ve gathered some advice for making group projects a little more bearable.

Group Introductions and Dynamics

First, allow everyone to introduce themselves, and everyone should really make the effort to get to know everyone else well. This will make assigning roles easier because you gain a better understanding of their skill set. Getting to know everyone and exchanging contact information will allow everyone to network effectively. During this time, it is important to establish ground rules. You don’t need to create a formal contract, but you need to have a clear understanding of expectations to avoid confusion and conflict later. At this time, you need to create a game plan and assign roles based on skill set, but also take into consideration what roles they might want to take, since tasks can always be shared. It is also important to schedule when you aim to have these tasks completed by, to allow enough time to edit if necessary. I would also recommend setting mini-goals to make the project seem less intimidating from the beginning. This also specifies exactly what needs to be done.

Additionally, I personally don’t believe in the concept of a single group leader. I don’t believe that one person alone should edit, approve, and finalize everything. Everyone should be an equally respected member of the group and feel comfortable sharing their ideas, because it is their grade too. They should have a say in how the final product turns out if they contributed to the project in some way or another. It is important to make sure everyone is included in meetings and chats. People should be encouraged to collaborate. If an idea goes specifically against instructions, don’t shut it down immediately. Ask them to elaborate, and collectively find ways to modify the idea in order to meet project requirements. It may be necessary to dismiss the idea entirely, but try to see if it can be expanded on or modified first.

Also, group conflict is not necessarily a bad thing! If anything, it can be very good because it shows that people are actually invested in the project and are not mindlessly agreeing with the unspoken leader(s). This also ensures that everyone who is unhappy has an opportunity to speak their minds and allows everyone to help improve the ideas if necessary. Group members can also learn how to solve problems knowing that someone has brought a legitimate concern to their attention. However, make sure group conflict does not turn into group hostility.

“There was nothing for me to do, it was already done”

People tend to use this as an excuse to not contribute, when another group member took initiative and completed that individuals’ part for them, due to their own failure or inability to contribute meaningfully in a timely fashion. However, this is not an acceptable excuse because there is always something to do, as a project is never truly complete. The only thing that decides if it is done is the due date. So, here is a list of tasks that anyone can do after at least one section has been written:

Ask if there is anything else you can do

Read the paper and see if you can contribute or edit anything at all, even if the change is minor, such as formatting (font, font size, headings, etc) or general organization (the paragraphs themselves or the arrangement of the sentences)

Work on the PowerPoint slides

Practice your presentation

Additionally, “I have a job and/or other commitments” is not an acceptable excuse to not contribute either. Jobs and other commitments are understandably very time consuming and physically or mentally demanding, but you are still enrolled in the course and are still expected to contribute. The contributions don’t all need to be of equal length, but they do need to be equally substantial. Please contribute as much as you can and to the best of your ability. It doesn’t have to be great, because that’s what editing is for, but it does need to be something the group can easily work with.

General Tips

I’m sure many of you already use Google Docs or some other collaborative tool. I like to place the instructions on the first page after the title page (if necessary for your project - it often is) and highlight the most important parts (according to me - others are welcome to adjust as necessary). I also include notes from previous deliverables if applicable, or professor’s comments from lectures when they were explaining the project in more detail. I also include my own notes for clarification of the instructions and organization ideas. I do this so that everyone is on the same page and expectations are clear from the very beginning. They can read it on their own time, and ask questions later, if necessary.

I also like to include a brainstorming or outline section after the instructions section to help make the PowerPoint and help generate ideas before the actual writing begins. Everyone is more than welcome to contribute at any time, of course. This is just a way to get ideas shared, and build on it. I also include a section for scripts after the actual paper is written, for those who like to have an idea of what to say for the presentation. It’s nice to have these in the speaker’s notes section of the PowerPoint too. I keep it on the document to make it easier to reference specific quotations or analyses in the paper.

To reiterate and clarify, this is typically what a rough draft looks like for my projects:

(Title Page)

(Brainstorming or Outlining)

(Actual Writing)

(Scripts)

Of course, this is just a guideline, not a rule. Feel free to modify it to fit your project or team requirements!

Uncooperative Group Members

Unfortunately, sometimes you’ll just have to deal with uncooperative group members. I create outlines on scratch paper in case individuals do not contribute. This allows me plenty of time to outline, write, and edit. This is because in case someone does not pull their weight, at least my outline is done and that makes the other two processes significantly less intimidating. I also ask other trustworthy group members to do the same. If those uncooperative group members do contribute something eventually, at least you have this outline created to help with editing their portion.

Try to work out these kinds of problems and potentially others before it’s too late, and don’t be afraid to confront the uncooperative individuals. Additionally, speak to or email your professor sharing your concerns. You can do this either individually or as a team. This establishes that you are responsible, and that you are doing everything in your power to make sure others can contribute easily, and they are just not making the effort to do so. You might even get some extra points if others are not contributing.

Keep a project binder or notebook, and document everyone’s promises and actual contributions. This will make writing peer evaluations so much easier and more detailed. Peer evaluations DO reflect people’s grades accordingly.

And of course, always be organized and know how to manage your time!

I hope this post helped! If anyone has experiences or tips/advice they’d like to share, please do so in the comments :D

#college #studyblr #group projects #advice

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otterandterrier · 5 years

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I'm really impressed by your capacity to write in such an elegant and flowing way in a language which is not your native tongue. Would you have any tips about learning to write in a natural way for non-native speakers ?

Thank you!! 😊💖 That means a lot because, as much as I know I’ve learned and gotten better over the years, I still second-guess myself and think my writing can’t be better than a native speaker’s.

I would say there are three major pieces of advice:

- read a lot in that language: when I first discovered fanfic, all my English knowledge came from my classes, books and professors. So it was correct, but a little stiff. Interacting with people online and reading books and fics in English made my own writing of it richer and more natural. You know how they say people have better grammar and spelling when they read a lot? That applies to learning another language! Your English seems really good and you obviously interact with other people in English, but this piece of advice still applies. Pick books and fics written by native speakers and pay attention to the words they use, the ways they structure their story/paragraphs/sentences, their idioms, etc. If you read a story and you like their action sequences, their dialogues, their smut, their descriptions, etc., bookmark it. When you’re writing your own story, go back to those fics and look at how they did it. Obviously you’re not going to copy off them, but just like with drawing, it’s okay to use references. I still do it sometimes when I’m stuck with my writing. It’s useful to ask yourself stuff like “how was this story introduced?“, “what is it about this smut scene that made me love it?”, “do I like stories written in first person or third? and how do I feel about head-hopping?” and look for those answers in your favourite fics.

- write a lot in that language: this is an obvious one, but what I mean by it is, write your story even if you don’t think you can and use the dictionary a lot and unapologetically. I’m a big fan of dictionaries! Back in the day, I used to handwrite my fics and I used a paperback copy. Then I switched to digital, so when I’m writing on a computer I use my favourite online site and I have an app for when I write on my phone. I used to check 90% of the words I wanted to use; I’ve gotten better but I still check it quite a lot. Online dictionaries that show you not just the translation but the definition, synonyms and how to use it in context are the best (I use Reverso). Practice makes, if not perfect, at least better.

- ask for a native speaker to look over your work and offer suggestions: this is so incredibly helpful. I think that, because of Tumblr’s more informal setting, most people don’t use beta readers anymore, but they were required if you wanted to post your story in forums or fic archives. The “least” your beta reader will do is check your spelling and grammar, but it’s best if they can genuinely (and respectfully) tell you if a certain phrasing doesn’t work and offer alternatives. I’ve become a lot more confident in my writing so these days I post stuff without having it beta-read and I don’t stress too much over it (also because I don’t like to bother my friends), but I still prefer to ask someone to look over my writing before posting if I have the chance. This isn’t good just to polish the final product but as a learning experience: I’ve always asked people to highlight what they were correcting (on Google Docs they should use Suggesting instead of Editing) so then I can compare what I wrote to what they corrected. If you have any questions, you should be able to ask your beta-reader about it (to learn, but also because maybe they misunderstood what you were trying to say). You should also be clear on what you’re trying to do with that story and set boundaries: if your editor suggests you change the style of a sentence but it goes against the image you have in your head, ask why, try to rephrase it yourself and ask if it’s better; don’t accept suggestions blindly.

These tips seem obvious, but it’s basically what you do when you’re learning to write in your native language (read, write, have someone to correct your writing, learn from it)---you just have to think a bit more and pay extra attention when it’s a second language.

Some helpful writing resources:

synonyms for “said”

cheat sheets for body language

ways to avoid using “very”

site for when you can’t remember words

this one too

Hemingway editor

I hope this helps, let me know if you have more questions! ✨

#aubepina #asks #writing #my posts #writing advice #writing in another language

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airadam · 4 years

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Episode 134 : Keeping Our Heads Up

"If you not at the table, then you on the menu."

- Jahi

This is not the summer we thought we were getting, but I'm going to at least partially overlook that and put some tracks in the mix that are perfect rolling music...even if we're only going to pick up essentials at the supermarket! There's some old(ish), some brand new, and plenty in-between. Oh yes - if your system has the bass turned up, turn it back down, or the third track up is going to destroy it...

The sad news came in after the music was already recorded, but Rest In Power to Malik B, best known for his work as a founding member of The Roots.

Twitter : @airadam13

Twitch : @airadam13

Playlist/Notes

Mistah F.A.B ft. Bun B, Slim Thug, Paul Wall, & Z-Ro : Commin' Down

From Oakland to Houston! The Bay Area veteran reaches down south for this driving anthem from "Son Of A Pimp, Part 2", and the respect is returned in spades. For me, Z-Ro steals the show right out of the gate on that first verse, with his trademark combination of humourous imagery, vocal range, and casual misanthropy! I expected the production to have come from a southern beatsmith too, but S.E. Trill is from Wichita in Kansas, firmly in the midwest.

Sitting Duck, otaam : Nights At The Beach

Bandcamp must have been reading my mind when it put "Chillhop Essentials Summer 2020" in my face, so I put a few quid in figuring that I'd like at least a few of the 25 tracks. That was definitely true, and this was one, produced by a duo that I've not yet found much info about...but I'll keep looking!

Le$ : Duckin'

Big tune out of Houston, with some of the most ridiculous bass I've heard in a while! Mr Rogers rolls together a classic R&B sample and as much low-end as he could find into a heavy backing for Le$ to work with. Not exactly a romantic anthem, but he does it well! The "Summer Madness" LP is well worth having a good listen to, it's almost like the more down-to-earth version of Curren$y's lifestyle content.

Beyonce ft. Jack White : Don't Hurt Yourself

Until trying to mix this, it wasn't obvious to me that the tempo wanders a little bit! It's low-speed but has sections highlighted by stripped-down double-time drums, followed by those heavy rocked-out segments - not the kind of sound many would associate with Beyonce, but she's always been versatile. The "Lemonade" LP is a great demonstration, with stuff ranging from this to straight R&B, to country! This is a great track with her clearly not here for the nonsense, taking her vocals to a really raw place.

Run The Jewels ft. Danny Brown : Hey Kids (Bumaye)

If you're looking for rappers to be jumping out there defending Elon Musk and the likes, you'd better look elsewhere! Killer Mike goes at the billionaire class in the first verse, and every MC keeps the intensity level up regardless of the specifics of their content. El-P on the beat, of course, on this selection from "Run The Jewels 3".

Mega Ran ft. Richie Branson & Storyville : O.P.

Mega Ran's career continues to grow, which is a testament to his skills and a karmic reward for how nice he is to everyone! That said, this track from 2015's "RNDM" has him and his crew going at the haters in fine style. His second verse is definitely the best of the three, and features one of the best breaks of the fourth wall I can remember in I don't know how long! Ran's longtime musical partner Lost Perception contributes the banging video game-inspired beat with crazy low end.

Agallah : Power Boats

Kind of grimy, despite the title making you think of open waters! Brooklyn's own Agallah produces the vast majority of the stuff you hear him rapping on (with good reason), and this particular beat is on "Propain Campaign Presents Agallah - The Instrumentals Vol.1".

OutKast ft. Cool Breeze and Big Gipp : Decatur Psalm

Taking it to what is still my favourite OutKast LP, "ATLiens", with the only track not to include Andre. Bracketing Big Boi's verse are two other members of the Dungeon Family, telling tales of the streets of the ATL. Organized Noize on production, of course.

State Property : It's Not Right

It's been a long time since the breakout days of Just Blaze and Kanye at Roc-A-Fella, and this track definitely brings back memories of that era. Just Blaze did a great job conjuring up the right level of melancholy for this track from the self-titled LP/soundtrack from this Philadelphia-centred crew. On the mic are Freeway, Young Chris, and Sparks, with Beanie Sigel bringing it home.

Meyhem Lauren & Harry Fraud ft. $bags : Brunch At The Breakers

The 2018 "Glass" EP had some great tracks on it, but left me wanting to hear more - clearly, they were holding out on us a little, because the recent "Glass 2.0" is built from tracks that didn't make the initial release! It was a tough choice between this and "Steamed Monkfish (Remix)" to see what made it onto the episode, but the gliding sample and overall feel of the beat ended up being the decider. I won't give away the sample, but as familiar as it seemed on listening here...I don't think I've ever heard the record before.

Above The Law : My World

The 1996 "Time Will Reveal" album was the fourth straight gem from Above The Law, and this track is one of my favourites. The late KMG takes the first verse, and Cold 187um the second, as well as showing out on the production in a major way. The female vocal on the hook is uncredited, but definitely adds onto the flavour. This is a track to roll slow to.

Massive Attack : Weather Storm

This nice instrumental cut from "Protection" is not one often talked about, but it's so good. Taking a great sample, letting it breathe, and working around it just enough is an art and one that this Bristol crew definitely mastered.

Matteo Getz & Termanology : Summer In The City

Massachusetts connection here with the producer and Lo-head Matteo Getz cooking up a beat for Lawrence's Termanology, an MC I feel is often underrated. This is taken from last year's release "The Getz Collection", which I think might have to be a pickup based on this.

Gang Starr ft. Jeru The Damaja : From A Distance

Still can't believe we got another Gang Starr LP last year, and to have Jeru as a guest takes it back to the "Daily Operation" days! Like most tracks on the album, this is fairly short, but both Guru and Jeru get the job done over a signature Preemo beat - check the contrast on alternating bars between the lush strings and the almost white-noise stabs.

Timeless Truth : Wavelength

Nothing but the raw boom-bap on this! Large Professor is responsible for the beat (the very sharp-eared would have picked that up without me even saying anything), while Solace and OPrime39 share mic duties, culminating in splitting the final verse down the middle. "Cold Wave" is an album for those who want the uncut.

Enemy Radio : 2020

If you hadn't heard, Enemy Radio is the stripped-down, sound system version of Public Enemy, with Chuck D joined on the mic by Jahi and long-time PE DJ Lord Aswod on the turntables. Their new LP "Loud Is Not Enough" is out in parallel with material from their original lineup, but allows a different emphasis. This year has often felt like the world is ending, and Chuck D is the #1 MC for that time! Notice how short the actual verses from he and Jahi are on this C-Doc-produced track - they not only paint a picture of the darkness of 2020 but do so with incredible lyrical efficiency.

[Kev Brown] DJ Jazzy Jeff : Da Rebirth (Instrumental)

It's been a long time (almost 100 episodes) since I played the vocal version, so here's the instrumental in case you forgot how ill the beat is :) Fairly early work by Kev Brown, in his days collaborating with the A Touch of Jazz camp - this is on "The Magnificent EP".

KinKai ft. Children of Zeus : Top Down

There hasn't been as much road trip time as we'd like in the COVID reality, but Mancunians are nothing if not appreciative of good weather when it comes! KinKai's new LP "A Few Pennies Worth" is a great release for the season, and this single was a hell of a way to precede it - bringing in Manchester's own Children of Zeus for a summer anthem produced beautifully by Paya.

Please remember to support the artists you like! The purpose of putting the podcast out and providing the full tracklist is to try and give some light, so do use the songs on each episode as a starting point to search out more material. If you have Spotify in your country it's a great way to explore, but otherwise there's always Youtube and the like. Seeing your favourite artists live is the best way to put money in their pockets, and buy the vinyl/CDs/downloads of the stuff you like the most!

Check out this episode!

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sglabs · 7 years

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So, You Want to Codesign?

by Elaine Fath, game designer

Hey, game dev’s! How do these phrases strike you?

“I just couldn’t grok that part.” “The playtest is next Wednesday.” “The rigging on that part’s really messed up.” “The FTUE is really coming along nicely.” “That level is totally unbalanced right now.”

How about these? “We need to set up a way to measure the proximal outcomes.” “I’m really concerned about what kind of far transfer this experience will have.” “We’re wondering about the overall journey map of this experience.”

Chances are, if you’re involved in game development, there was at least one phrase in the first set you were familiar with. That second set? Maybe not so much, depending on your field. These are actual quotes from actual teammates whose field of expertise is something other than making games. Those examples alone are taken from the past three months of collaboration on a health app with experts in Smoking Cessation and Weight Management. If you felt lost and confused, join the club: we were all speaking English, but none of us spoke the same language!

Not all games are made by a traditional game design team. A lot of games need experts outside of our wheelhouse: scientists, UX designers, parents, children, educators, researchers, professors...depending on your experience, it could be anything. If you’re not careful, all of those experts, including you, can get into a room, think they have a productive conversation... and then leave with totally different ideas of what is about to get made.

Enter codesign. Codesign is a field meant to help cross-discipline teams collaborate effectively and quickly. Codesign is a concept taken from UX research and design, and also the more-generalized field of “Design Thinking.” One major tenant of codesign is that meetings are artifact-based: together, always be making something concrete. For an overview of the idea of Design Thinking, I recommend Stanford’s D.School website!

I’ve run codesign sessions before, but running three to five sessions a week for three months in a game-specific context was all new to me. Over the course of the past three months, I learned a lot about what to do and not to do. I want to share some of those takeaways.

WHAT I LEARNED TO DO:

1. Keep a standard lesson plan format so that you don't go crazy every time you need to plan one.

When you’re running regular meetings in which you have to prep supplies, materials, and activities, you run into a common problem for beginner K12 teachers. Picture this: you’ve planned five separate lessons for the day (reading, math, social studies, science, and an essay project). You show up and realize that you’ve forgotten at least four supplies across the five subjects and the lesson plan for the fifth. That’s a recipe for a ruined day. How are you supposed to run the lessons as well as account for the supplies and gauge how everyone is doing?

Having to prepare so many fully-facilitated experiences and then showing up prepared can be a tremendous cognitive load. Especially since you’ll need the extra brain space to get creative during both planning and also during the facilitation. Try to keep a standard format for writing up what you’re doing and what you need and use it to track prep as well as look back on later for time estimates and activity ideas. Otherwise, it will feel like you’re reinventing the wheel every time.

2. Look to Design Thinking and codesign methods for activity-based, generative-focused meetings. Luma Institute's guide for action-based activities is a good introduction.

Often, you’ll have a goal in a meeting--”we need to prioritize these features,” “we need to see what everyone has in their heads about what this idea could look like,” “we need to generate as many ideas as possible,” “we need to narrow down to one idea,” “we need to understand what our goal is here”--but you won’t know how to get there. Starting to develop a sense of what activities exist out there for what goals was something I was grateful for doing, because they served as recipes that I could adjust as necessary rather than having to invent activities all the time.

3. Use the Transformational Framework topics. Write down your answers, then have your experts edit them.

I found that writing down my assumptions and then having the subject matter experts correct me where I was wrong with the workbook pages in front of them was a fast way to get something down early. For example, I discovered my assumption of the audience as 20-to-30 something gamers was completely incorrect. I also discovered that the way I was prioritizing our goals was totally wrong. But if I hadn’t tried to write them down, I wouldn’t have known.

4. Try to take risks by getting things in writing or concrete artifacts as much as possible, even if you think your take is wrong.

Most people can't articulate on a blank page, but can totally tell you where you messed up. A blank whiteboard can feel intimidating to non-designers. It can feel scary for your ego, but take one for the team. Type up the doc. Write an example of what you want to walk out of the meeting or the week with--if it’s a 6-page design doc, write a dummy doc with lorem ipsum in some places and show it to the team at the start of the week. Draw a picture of what you think the flow of the app will be and have others correct it. Bring materials for people to change it. Call out that it’s a draft, make it look sketchy and piecemeal so that people don’t feel bad marking it up or correcting it.

5. Use research papers in your transformation subject area to start developing a shared language between disciplines.

You’ll want to be able to have some shared vocabulary when making things together. A team I worked with published a paper about how to do this last year. The paper is about how to get a team of experts in different fields “speaking the same language” through a mix of reading the same papers, making things together using writing and simple paper supplies, and talking about what’s working using those prototypes.

6. Love & trust your teammates to be experts

Across disciplines, there can be a lot of mistrust that comes from not understanding their work. Here is an excellent GDC talk that includes our CPO Chuck Hoover that discusses tips for how to do this effectively. See: Production is Working at the Heart of the Team

7. Teach them about game techniques using a "video lit review"

If you’ve played a lot of games, it’s easier to “picture” an idea and how it will work in its final form. Something that you imagine with glitter, sparkles, pizzaz, and a universe of context might come across as flat or insane to an expert colleague who has never played Mario Kart. When you're talking about game design terms, it can help to do a 3 minute video of examples of that mechanic in practice in other places--that way, your team has seen examples before and can now talk about them, too. Encourage your other experts to do the same with their field. Maybe they have a talk or PowerPoint they always share, or a paper they wrote that sums up their expertise or what they want for the game.

8. When you’re behind, be brutally honest but don’t place blame.

Teams learning to design together move slowly at the start. It can be tempting to lay blame on people arriving late to meetings or those who don’t seem as checked in, or whatever seems to be happening from your frame of reference. Instead, I took a step back and just conveyed the facts: I had everyone collaboratively estimate how many hours of work remained and cross-reference it with the number of hours we had left together. Then, I asked: what can we do about the discrepancy? And we brainstormed ideas to try. I learned two things. One, there was a ton happening that had nothing to do with my frame of reference of the problem. Two, we picked three solutions to try as a team, and people were far more committed to trying them because nobody felt blamed. We made up the difference and hit the original deadline.

WHAT I LEARNED TO DON’T

1. Don't put off making a visual roadmap of where you're going and WHY you're doing these sessions--people don't read the written outline as "big picture."

I’ve used everything from a post-it wall to sketches to Photoshop to google slides to make this. The format or structure matters less than the fact that it exists and that people understand it. Here are some examples, but generally all you need are dates, what you’re making on that date, and what you’re trying to accomplish/have at the end. I have a hunch that making it in front of everyone and then updating it/moving the “you are here” marker every meeting in a visible place is probably a good idea.

Courtesy of majorindependence.com

Courtesy of template.net

This was a major mistake I made: I got so deep into planning and prepping that I really never shared the big, long-term “why’s” with my clients, and they didn’t have a sense of progress as a result. I thought sharing a dummy outline of what we’d have at the end would be enough, and it just wasn’t. Every meeting, take two minutes to describe where you’ve been, what you’re doing that day, and how it fits into the larger plan.

2. Don't forget to schedule/budget time for open-ended question/discussion breaks at the end of meetings.

Or people will leave confused and feeling like they don't have enough wiggle room to discuss what matters to them. This process is unfamiliar and often people need to feel heard at the start and end of meetings in order to feel comfortable trying something new.

3. Don't forget to frame design as messy, generative, uncertain, full of bad ideas, and not about sitting on it until you get the "right" answer (Stanford's Design resources do a good job of this).

Again, so many disciplines are not steeped in the exact kind of uncertainty that design is, and many clients come from a work culture where you sit on an idea until it feels polished. This is very bad for the creative process because you don’t fully explore the possibilities! But on the other hand, people naturally have a fear of appearing stupid in meetings if they feel like they’re not coming up with “good” ideas or thinking on their feet well. Frame design as messy and be open about your own less-than-polished ideas. I totally forgot to frame the process as rough and changeable, and I had a lot of stressed-out clients for the first two meetings as I continuously pushed them to produce outside of their comfort zone. All I needed was to message that I, too, get heartbroken when we throw away stuff after pre-production, and so does everyone else! But it’s a necessary mess. Lean into it.

4. Don't forget to "test" meeting activities with your internal team when you haven't run something similar before.

We playtest games for all of the reasons it’s a good idea to playtest making activities.

5. Don't forget to give people choices about how to contribute --and if they have a suggestion for changing an activity, try to roll with it, at least sometimes.

I was good about this at the beginning, but when we got new teammates it was easy to forget to check in with them and allow them choice. People will be more creative if they feel like you aren’t steamrolling them with a plan.

6. Don't participate in all of the generative activities unless the content touches on your expertise.

One, because the cognitive load of facilitating means you probably won’t be very creative. Two, you may not have the know-how to generate good concepts until you learn more about the subject matter. Consider coming prepared with a couple examples at the beginning of each activity, or participating for the first minute or two, to level-set what the concepts or artifacts should look like.

Happy codesigning!

Elaine

#codesign #game design #post mortem #design thinking #UXdesign #ftue #subject matter expert #dos and donts

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instantdeerlover · 4 years

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Is It Safe to Eat at Restaurants Yet (1) added to Google Docs

Is It Safe to Eat at Restaurants Yet (1)

Tom Kelley Archive/Stringer/Getty; Xinzheng/Getty

Dining out right now will come with certain risks. Here’s what you can do to keep yourself and others around you safe.

At this point, almost every U.S. state has entered some phase of reopening. But although many states opened dining rooms and relaxed restrictions in a push for a return to normal this summer, as certain areas see COVID-19 cases and hospitalizations rise, it seems some may have opened too soon.

Broadly, restaurants are encouraged — or ordered — to reduce capacity and space out tables, but the exact rules vary from state to state, and with no universal guidance, restaurants are left to design their own protocols for creating safe spaces for their employees and customers. It hasn’t been entirely successful.

Nearly two months after Georgia became the first state to reopen, including allowing indoor dining, coronavirus cases are trending upwards. On June 3, Texas entered the third phase of its reopening, which allowed all businesses to operate at up to 50 percent capacity, and as of June 12, restaurants were allowed to operate up to 75 percent capacity. The state now has nearly 120,000 confirmed cases, and has experienced a recent surge in cases attributed to young people going out to bars. And since the reopenings began, restaurants in Atlanta, Dallas, Austin, and other cities have been forced to shut down again as employees test positive for COVID-19, begging the question: Even if you can go to a restaurant, should you?

Without a vaccine, there is risk. No one knows how long it will take to create a working vaccine, and although there are promising trials in progress, the head of the World Health Organization’s health emergencies program believes a viable vaccine is so far off that the novel coronavirus may just become a consistent part of our futures. And so right now, the decision of whether or not to dine out is personal. It’s dependent on the prevalence of the disease in your region as well as individual risk. (Are you at increased risk of becoming seriously ill if you contract COVID-19? Are you living with someone who is?) It also depends on the restaurant’s design and safety protocols, and while there is no absolutely risk-free way to eat out right now, according to experts, there are scenarios that are safer than others. Whether you’re in a state that has “reopened” or are merely fantasizing about the day you’ll sit in a dining room again, the answers to these questions can help you weigh the risks and make an informed decision about when to return to a restaurant and how to behave once you get there.

If your state has reopened dine-in service, does that mean it’s safe to go back to eating in restaurants?

With so much unknown about the coronavirus, coupled with its continued community spread and testing that still isn’t robust enough to effectively identify and isolate everyone who may be infected, it’s premature to declare reopened businesses and lifted restrictions on public life to be 100 percent safe. “I am an eating enthusiast who loves going out to eat with my friends and family, and as much as I’m eager for restaurants to reopen … we just don’t know enough about transmission to really estimate the risk of infection,” says Angela Rasmussen, a virologist and associate research scientist at Columbia University.

The question remains: Even if you can go to a restaurant, should you?

But truthfully, there’s no such thing as “safe” — if by “safe” we mean “absolutely zero risk” — in environments with other people until there’s a vaccine (which may take a very long time) or until everyone has contracted the virus and developed antibodies that confer sustained immunity. Given that “zero-risk safe” isn’t possible, and that health concerns have to be balanced with economic concerns (unless, say, the federal government were to offer more direct help to the populace, perhaps in the form of monthly $2,000 stimulus checks), the question becomes: How do we mitigate risks during this incremental process known as reopening/recovery?

It’s important to remember the basics of how SARS-CoV-2 can spread: through large viral droplets, through contaminated inanimate objects known as fomites, and, as some studies suggest, through airborne particles, according to Joseph Allen, assistant professor of exposure assessment science at Harvard University and co-author of the book Healthy Buildings: How Indoor Spaces Drive Performance and Productivity. Given these potential modes of transmission, there are a number of factors to consider when it comes to dining out again, like: indoors or outdoors? Mask on or off? Cash or credit?

These are all questions that restaurant owners are thinking about right now as many prepare to reopen, but it’s a good idea to ask those businesses what their concrete plans are to prevent virus transmission, says infectious disease epidemiologist and infection prevention researcher Saskia Popescu. And then there are the basic guidelines that everyone should consider: getting updates from your local health department to know whether your area is seeing decreasing cases; continuing to practice good infection-control habits like hand hygiene; and opting for takeout or delivery if you’re high-risk or live with someone who is, per Popescu.

Above all, remember that risk is shared: It’s not just you at risk of infection here, but your loved ones, other people’s loved ones, and an entire community. “I hope that, as a country, we will continue to think about our neighbors, our community members, and those of us who are at higher risk,” says Michael Knight, assistant professor of medicine and the patient safety officer at the George Washington University. “As a good neighbor and a good citizen, what role can you take to get some sense of normalcy and to improve our economic conditions, but to also decrease the risk?” That may mean still limiting nonessential trips even if restrictions in your state are lifting — or, at the very least, taking note of the following suggestions to mitigate risk as much as possible.

Aladdin Color Inc/Getty; Peter Dazeley/Getty; Science Photo Library/Getty Are you safer in a bigger restaurant with socially distanced tables than a smaller restaurant with the same protocols?

As people return to dining rooms, social distancing will be essential for restaurants of every size.

A bigger, well-ventilated restaurant with strict limits on the number of people working and the number of people it serves will be safest. “A larger restaurant that can spread out people better and still have fewer staff and have fewer clients will be preferable to all trying to pack in,” says Robyn Gershon, professor of epidemiology at the NYU School of Global Public Health.

A report from architects Charles Hemminger and Seth Boor shows what socially distanced tables could look like for restaurants in San Francisco. Changing restaurant layouts to accommodate social distancing will require them to reduce the number of people they serve, and for restaurants that get by on very thin margins under normal circumstances, reducing capacity in this way might not be sustainable financially. Arranging tables six feet apart may be more possible for restaurants with bigger spaces for both logistical and financial reasons, but the number of people in a space increases risk, and by that calculation, a smaller restaurant with socially distanced tables would be safer than a larger restaurant trying to serve as many people as possible under the new rules. “The more people, the higher the risk that someone there is infected,” explains Knight. “The No. 1 risk is interacting with someone else who is infected.”

However, if a small restaurant doesn’t have the space to properly space out tables or safely manage the flow of people, that would cancel out some of the benefit of its small capacity. Restaurants need to ensure “there’s enough space to move so that people aren’t on top of each other,” says Allen. Dining room tables spaced six feet apart is just the first consideration; diners also need to remain socially distanced in waiting areas, bathroom lines, and in multi-stall restrooms. Plus, without proper ventilation, this space becomes immediately unsafe.

Should you be worried about the number of people at your table? How many is too many?

Although the CDC’s phase 1 reopening guidelines suggest limiting gatherings to groups of no more than 10 people, some experts caution that dining out in groups that size is still risky. “As things open up, we still need to be safe,” says Popescu. “If those are people you’re living with, that’s fine, but if you’re going out to meet eight friends, I worry about the increased risk for that many people.”

Consistently, studies have shown that the virus spreads most easily among groups of people in enclosed spaces. Super-spreader events, in which one infected person passes the virus to multiple people, occur when people from different households come together for an activity indoors, whether it’s a religious service or a birthday party. Similarly, a large group dinner that gathers people from different households in a restaurant dining room could put everyone at risk.

“You’re going out to meet eight friends, I worry about the increased risk for that many people.”

Diners can’t socially distance while sitting at the same restaurant table, and they can’t wear masks while eating, so there’s a clear risk of transmitting the virus. Gershon agrees that limiting group dining to people who live together lowers risk. “It would make sense to go out with people that you’ve been in quarantine with and not introduce ourselves to other people that we haven’t been in close contact with over these past several weeks.” So while there’s no ideal dining party size, if you must look beyond your own household, fewer people at your own table is safer.

How much does a restaurant’s ventilation system/airflow really play into things? Should that influence where you sit to limit risk of coronavirus transmission?

We know that the virus spreads when people are in close contact, and according to the CDC, respiratory droplets that are produced when a sick person coughs or sneezes are the most common mechanism for transmission. These droplets don’t travel more than six feet from the sick person, which is why social-distancing rules use the six-feet marker.

However, there is also evidence that the virus can spread through small droplets produced during normal activity, like talking or laughing, and while larger droplets fall to the ground, according to a new study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences and covered by the New York Times, these small droplets can remain suspended in the air for up to 14 minutes. Additionally, research shows that the virus is aerosolized, meaning it’s contained in even smaller droplets called aerosols that can travel through air. And in April, Chinese researchers released the results of a study that showed how air currents from a Guangzhou restaurant’s ventilation system carried aerosols to restaurant patrons more than six feet away from an infected diner. The study seemed to suggest that diners should be wary of ventilation systems — and that there might be “safe” places to sit in restaurants. But it’s not so simple.

According to Rasmussen, although the study indicates ventilation and airflow can play a role in virus transmission by transporting aerosols, there are too many unknowns to take meaningful action. “The dynamics of droplet transmission are still very much an open question,” she says.

Ultimately, though, ventilation works to mitigate the spread of the virus. Ventilation systems, if constructed properly — meaning that they’re delivering fresh outdoor air and recirculating air through a high-efficiency filter — help clean the air. “We’ve known about these factors for a long time in terms of how they can exacerbate a problem in a building or work to help mitigate disease,” says Allen. “It’s not so much that an air conditioner or any other system is inherently good or bad, it’s how it’s being operated and how the air is being delivered.”

While it’s possible for the virus to be carried in small droplets through the air, airflow can also disrupt aerosol transmission. According to Kevin Van Den Wymelenberg, director of Energy Studies in Buildings Laboratory at the University of Oregon, increasing airflow in a room, whether it’s through a ventilation system or opening windows to create a cross breeze, is one of three built-environment considerations that may reduce transmission. There’s also evidence to suggest that humidity supports immune function, prevents viral particles from being deposed deep into the respiratory tract, and has been shown to deactivate viruses. And while more data is needed, some preliminary research shows that sunlight can deactivate the virus in the same way it does for bacteria.

Still, it’s too soon to declare a sunny table outside the path of an air vent the safest seat in a restaurant dining room; according to Rasmussen, it’s hard to extrapolate specific recommendations without more studies. And as long as there is a person in a restaurant with the virus, there’s no way for it to be 100 percent safe. “If there’s one viral shedder in that space,” says Van Den Wymelenberg, “there’s risk.”

Glowimages/Getty; Riou/Getty; Isabel Pavia/Getty; National Weather Service Is outdoor or patio seating safer, taking into consideration airflow and exposure to passersby?

The natural ventilation of the outdoors makes it safer than enclosed spaces, and states like Louisiana and Connecticut are allowing outdoor dining before moving to open restaurant dining rooms. “There’s no way to know how much safer, but anywhere you’ve got more dilution, it’s going to reduce the risk of airborne or aerosol transmission,” says Van Den Wymelenberg.

As with indoor seating, it’s vital that diners take social distancing into account when eating outside, whether it’s on a restaurant’s patio or in a park. “Being outdoors is not sufficient itself,” explains Allen. “We still have to take these other precautions … including maintaining physical distancing, managing the flow of people in and out of the space, managing the waiting area, managing the bathrooms. It really has to be this holistic strategy.”

While it’s feasible to keep six feet of distance between diners seated outside, it may not be reasonable to expect the same distance from passersby in cities where restaurants share sidewalks with pedestrians. But although this technically puts diners in contact with more people, potentially increasing risk, the likelihood of contracting the virus from a passerby who comes within six feet isn’t high. Popescu notes that face-to-face interactions for a prolonged period of time (around 10 minutes) are more concerning, and several reports on community spread compiled and posted on Twitter by Muge Cevik, an infectious diseases and virology clinician and researcher at the University of St. Andrews, show that “close and prolonged” contact, not brief interactions, is the overall driver of the epidemic.

Are you safer in a restaurant with fewer front-of-house employees?

The fewer people a diner interacts with, the better. “My biggest focus on risk would be reducing the number of people you’re coming into close, prolonged contact with,” says Popescu. This includes fellow diners, as well as restaurant staff.

Is there a limit to how long you should spend in restaurants?

The longer you sit in a restaurant, the more opportunities there are to come into contact with other people as tables turn over or shifts change. To avoid crowds, it may also be prudent to consider the time of day you dine. As the New York Times pointed out in a report that used cellphone data to track crowds at various types of businesses, it would make sense to avoid a pancake house during the crowded morning hours. While it’s possible to limit your direct contact with people in a restaurant setting, especially at less-crowded times of the day, Knight wouldn’t recommend a leisurely meal. “I would recommend having your meal and enjoying it, but keeping in mind that the longer you stay, the higher your risk. You want to balance between comfort and reducing your risk.”

That said, there’s no point at which the length of time you spend in a restaurant switches from safe to unsafe. As Allen explains, it’s a multifactorial issue: the risk of contracting the virus does depend on duration and frequency of contact, but it also depends on proximity and the concentration of the viral load. “That’s why there isn’t an answer to how long is an acceptable amount of time,” he says. “It depends. It’s maybe an unsatisfying answer, but that’s the reality.”

“The longer you stay, the higher your risk. You want to balance between comfort and reducing your risk.” Is fast casual — which may have more people, but less exposure time — safer than a traditional sit-down restaurant?

Once again, it depends. In a fast-casual setting, interactions with staff are necessarily brief and limited, which is helpful for reducing the risk of contracting the virus. However, a fast-casual restaurant that requires you to wait in an area with a large group of people isn’t any safer than a sit-down restaurant. And given the number of people who come through a fast-casual restaurant, it’s essential that restaurant staff take the appropriate measures to prevent the virus from surviving on surfaces as well. Says Popescu, “My focus would be on the measures they’re taking to ensure you can safely dine and maintain social distancing, have access to hand-hygiene stations, and what they’re doing to ensure cleaning/disinfection occurs while keeping their staff safe.”

When considering the safety of restaurants, the style of dining doesn’t matter as much as the measures restaurants take to keep staff and diners safe, including requiring appropriate personal protective equipment, cleaning regularly, and restricting the number of customers while making it possible for them to remain socially distant. “I want to emphasize that it’s not just eating at the table,” says Knight. “You also have to keep in mind the waiting rooms, the bathroom lines, all of those things.”

Should you be wearing a mask and gloves at restaurants? How are you supposed to eat with a mask on?

Experts recommend that you don’t keep gloves on when dining out. “You touch the door handle, you touch the countertop — everything you touched with those gloves has now become contaminated,” says Knight. Instead, according to infectious disease epidemiologist Popescu, you should “engage in good hand hygiene” — washing hands periodically with soap and water, or cleansing with hand sanitizer — and avoid touching your face, especially while eating.

As for masks, it’s best to still wear them wherever you can’t engage in social distancing: places like the restaurant entrance, waiting area, or the bathroom, according to Allen.

“Remember, the mask is protecting other people from you,” says Knight. “I can envision having my mask on, I come in, I sit down, I sanitize my hands, the waiter comes over, I put in my order, the waiter leaves, and I take off my mask.”

But don’t try to eat with a mask on, or attempt some complicated ritual of placing your mask back over your mouth after every bite. Doing so “might actually result in accidental contamination or dirtying the mask so it can’t be worn again,” says Popescu.

Does the temperature of the food or how it was cooked make a difference in terms of safety?

According to the Food and Drug Administration (FDA), the coronavirus is not currently known to be spread through food. As Eater wrote in an earlier guide, restaurants have long been required to follow food safety rules. “Restaurants are already taking specific steps that are enforced by our public health departments to make sure that the risk of foodborne illness is very low, and those steps also reduce the risk of virus transmission,” says Knight. If you trust a favorite restaurant to follow proper food-handling procedures, then you needn’t worry — and if you’re unsure about its practices, you can always check its score on your local health department’s website or call the restaurant to ask.

Knight’s one caveat is to be cautious about self-serve buffets — not necessarily because of the food itself, but because the utensils used to serve that food are likely to be touched by multiple people without proper sanitation in between. In a list of best practices for food businesses during the pandemic, the FDA recommends “discontinuing operations, such as salad bars, buffets, and beverage service stations that require customers to use common utensils or dispensers.”

Should you worry about using utensils, menus, condiments, or other items?

In short, it depends.

“The idea that the virus could be transmitted through inanimate objects, or what we call fomites, is real,” says Allen. The virus can remain infectious on surfaces like plastic, glass, cardboard, or steel for longer periods of time — possibly hours or even days, some scientists have found — although the risk of transmission is still unknown, and it’s not yet clear how much virus a person has to be exposed to in order to establish infection, according to Rasmussen.

Still, experts recommend that restaurants and customers alike think about ways we can move toward a largely contactless experience, whether that means removing regular menus — which are harder to clean in between customers, compared to sterilized dishes and silverware — and replacing them with single-use paper versions; installing touchless sinks and automatic doors; or using disposable plastic utensils.

At the very least, says Knight, be careful handling condiments and menus that are passed from table to table, or picking up silverware and beverages from a common area. And always be sure to wash or sanitize your hands after touching other surfaces and before bringing your hands to your face.

Can you still use the restroom?

Sure, but you may need to adjust some behaviors in order to maintain social distancing, experts say. Customers shouldn’t congregate in lines, restrooms, or other parts of the restaurant without six feet of distance between each other. Ideally, customers would also wear face masks in these common areas. Keeping in mind advice against constantly putting masks on and taking them off while at a restaurant, it’s probably best to limit bathroom breaks to the beginning of the meal, before you’ve removed your mask, or after the meal, when you’ve put your mask back on.

Hand hygiene also remains imperative (here’s hoping you had already made it a habit to wash your hands after using the restroom). The virus has been found in the stool of some people who are diagnosed with COVID-19, although studies have yet to confirm whether or not the virus can spread through exposure to fecal matter, per the CDC. Customers could potentially pick up those fecal particles in restrooms where flushing toilets generate bioaerosols, according to Allen. There are also all the restroom surfaces that you touch, from toilet handles to doors to faucet handles. Restaurants need to make sure that “exhaust fans are operating at high capacity” and do what they can to “make a touchless bathroom experience,” says Allen.

But such measures don’t diminish the importance of washing your hands with soap and water, or sanitizing with alcohol-based hand sanitizer, especially after using the restroom and before eating.

Prakasit Khuansuwan/EyeEm/Getty; TokenPhoto/Getty; MR.Cole_Photographer/Getty Akiyoko/Getty; CSA Images/Getty; Ria Fitriana, ID/Noun Project Are there greater risks associated with cash versus credit card or contactless payment?

In theory, yes, there is a risk, as cash is passed from person to person, but there has not yet been much data on the handling of cash or credit cards when it comes to virus transmission, according to Popescu. Still, contactless payment options are obviously ideal, to avoid having to touch either money or pens and buttons associated with card payment.

Most importantly, though, this question “just emphasizes the need to use hand hygiene and avoid touching your face during these interactions,” says Popescu.

If a restaurant asks you for your contact information — say, for contact tracing — can you say no?

It’s difficult to give a one-size-fits-all answer to this question, as legal obligations for restaurants and privacy protections for consumers may differ from state to state, says Mark Bartholomew, a law professor at the University of Buffalo Law School. But generally speaking, restaurants — the majority of which are private businesses — can certainly ask for a patron’s ID or contact information, and customers can certainly refuse, and restaurants can certainly decline to serve those individuals. As Bartholomew puts it: “It’s kind of like, ‘No shirt, no shoes, no service.’”

Just because that’s technically true doesn’t mean that restaurants will necessarily go around asking each and every customer for their personal information, however. Things get trickier when restaurants then have a collection of data that they could potentially retain or share with public health authorities, as one might do for contact tracing in the event of a coronavirus outbreak. But on the other hand, according to Bartholomew, some laws could find a business responsible for allowing in customers with communicable illnesses, without taking proper precautions. “In some ways, it may be appealing for the restaurant to have a flat rule from the local or state authorities saying, ‘You need to take everybody’s temperature when they come in and keep a record of it,’” he says.

It’s prudent to keep in mind that everything remains a moving target, and is subject to change depending on how the situation improves or worsens in different localities. According to Bartholomew, some of these legal concerns could potentially be overridden if governors declare states of emergency that confer powers outside the norm, including requiring businesses to demand certain requirements of customers before serving them.

“Every time that waiters come to your table and interact with you in close proximity, that waiter is being put at risk.” What can you do to help keep your server and other restaurant staff safe?

The fact is that servers and other employees do face increased exposure risks. It’s also a fact that their places of work need cash flow so that employees can make a living (unless, again, the federal government were to increase direct support for everyone across the U.S.).

But the very fact that these essential workers are on the front lines of risk makes it even more critical for everyone else to do their part in trying to reduce that risk. That means not going to restaurants or other businesses if you’re sick, avoiding touching your face, practicing good hand hygiene, and even asking ahead of time how a restaurant’s management is working to protect their employees, suggests Popescu.

It could also mean making a conscious effort to reduce the number of times you have to interact with restaurant staff, since “every time that waiters come to your table and interact with you in close proximity, that waiter is being put at risk,” says Knight. As noted earlier, he proposes keeping your mask on until you have spoken to the server and put in your order, and then limiting contact with them afterward.

In Allen’s view, the approach to reopening the economy while keeping people safe and healthy can be summed up best as everyone collectively playing an ascribed part. “People going to restaurants should be acting as if they have [the virus] even if they’re feeling fine,” he says. That could include wearing a mask around other people, keeping physical distance from each other, and being okay with processes taking longer than normal. “We have to do our part to give leeway to these restaurants as they’re trying to get back on their feet,” says Allen. “It’s not just the restaurant’s responsibility … [it’s] people coming to the restaurants who have just as much of a responsibility, if not more.”

A generosity of spirit should also extend to material generosity. “Keep in mind that the way the restaurant will work to keep you safe is by reducing the number of diners that they have,” says Knight. In doing so, restaurants will likely still see lower sales, and servers who depend on gratuities still may not earn as much, so tipping is more crucial than ever. “The waiter is putting themself at risk by serving you,” reminds Knight. “Being generous is a good thing.”

And if you can’t return to dining out during this recovery period — whether because of health reasons, or because you’d like to mitigate the risk for yourself and others in your community — how can you support your favorite restaurants and the people they employ without increasing their potential exposure to the virus? Stay home, order takeout or delivery, and, please, still tip as much as you can.

via Eater - All https://www.eater.com/21262619/is-it-safe-to-eat-out-coronavirus-restaurant-safety-risks-covid-19

Created June 24, 2020 at 04:26AM /huong sen View Google Doc Nhà hàng Hương Sen chuyên buffet hải sản cao cấp✅ Tổ chức tiệc cưới✅ Hội nghị, hội thảo✅ Tiệc lưu động✅ Sự kiện mang tầm cỡ quốc gia 52 Phố Miếu Đầm, Mễ Trì, Nam Từ Liêm, Hà Nội http://huongsen.vn/ 0904988999 http://huongsen.vn/to-chuc-tiec-hoi-nghi/ https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1xa6sRugRZk4MDSyctcqusGYBv1lXYkrF

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saniilabnews · 4 years

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FAQ survey: how do you join the lab?

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How did you learn about Professor Sanii's lab?

I leaned about Professor Sanii's lab by searching through the keck website. I searched for a while, and when I came across his research, I remembered he had given a very engaging Core talk. I then looked through his websites and past works to try to get a better idea about how his lab functions!Sanii told me himself because he was my advisor, but I know a lot of people just talked to former lab membersI learned about Professor Sanii's lab through peers and CMC's Summer Research Program portal. I was applying to the CMC Summer Research fund and was provided with a list of Professors who would be provided funding by CMC and were looking for students to work in their research labs for the summer. Professor Sanii was one of the Professors listed!

How did you initiate contact with Professor Sanii?

I first emailed Professor Sanii with some questions I had about his research. We set up a time to Skype (he was on paternity leave) and further discuss his research! I also contacted former lab members I found on his website to ask for general advice when speaking to a professor about research and how they liked Professor Sanii's lab!emailed to schedule an appt.Professor Sanii was one of the two professors doing science research as a part of CMC's SRP and I emailed him to begin a discussion about working with him in his lab for the summer and onwards. After I saw Professor Sanii was looking for more people in his lab, I emailed him and asked to set up a meeting!

What types of lab or science experience did you have when you entered the lab?

I had some experience in a research lab as a high school student. However, the lab is very inviting to various levels of lab experience! I also entered Sanii's lab the summer after my first year. So my science knowledge was essentially intro bio and intro chem.One year of gen chem labI had worked in a lab at the UCLA Medical School while I was in high school, but despite being used to a lab setting -- prior research experience was much less important in Sanii's lab, as compared to an enthusiasm and preparation to learn and be a part of a collaborative research team. I had no lab experience past the labs I had taken through my courses!

What did you do for summer housing?

For summer housing my first summer, I lived on campus at Scripps! For my second year I lived half the summer at Scripps and the other half house sitting!I commuted from homeI lived at pitzer for half of the summer (which tends to charge the least and allows students from any of the 4Cs to apply for on-campus housing), and am a close friend with a professor who I house-sat for while they were on vacation. I lived in the Senior Apartments at CMC for the summer. They were super nice because I had my own room and shared a bathroom with only one person. I lived with three of my really good friends and we had a nice kitchen and living room too!

How did you navigate funding? Who were your funders?

I was funded by the Johnson Summer Research Grant, which is open to Scripps students. The grant requires summer research be interdisciplinary, even within the sciences! So I was able to write up an essay showcasing the interdisciplinary nature of the lab :) I went through CMC SRP and got help from the career center on how to fill out paperworkI applied for both the CMC Summer Research Stipend (hourly-pay) and the Rose-Hills Scholarship Fund. I received both but ended up choosing to be funded by the Rose Hills Grant because it provided Sanii's lab with some additional funding on top of my individual stipend. I applied through the CMC Research Fund for a 5000 dollar stipend for the semester. I wrote a short application about how I would be using my funding and such and heard back within a month that I had received it!

Why did you choose Professor Sanii's lab?

I chose Professor Sanii's lab because I was really interested in the possibilities it presented. I had never heard of polydimethylsiloxane, but hearing the applications of it was very engaging. I read the lab's 2016 paper and had a lot of questions! Also, after speaking with former lab members, it was evident that Professor Sanii provided a very welcoming and supportive atmosphere, which is something else I was very drawn by!I enjoyed taking his IBC class and the topic of his research seemed interestingProfessor Sanii and I immediately connected really well and I was excited about his research following our very first meeting. Because of this, I did not even consider reaching out to other professors afte hearing about his lab. I chose Professor Sanii's lab because his projects sounded the most interesting to me and we had such a positive meeting. I also reached out to some people in his lab and heard very positive experiences from everyone about the culture and the work. It seemed like the best fit for me!

What was the first day in lab like?

The first day of lab was very welcoming! We all cleaned and familiarized ourselves with the lab as well as spoke about our goals for the summer's research. We also got lunch together and got to know our labmates better!We mostly organized things but everyone was very friendly and we went out to lunch together!Lots of clean up, organization, and getting to know each other:)The first day in lab was a great way to ease into the summer. We spent most of the day organizing/setting up our lab stations so that we would be prepared for the remainder of the 10 weeks. Additionally, we all went out together for lunch!

What was it like preparing and executing the brown bag?

I was extremely nervous for both brown bags (2018 & 2019). However, after presenting and hearing the great questions from the audience, I realized we had successfully communicated our research - which is always gratifying :)It took a couple of days of prep, but I was grateful for the experience of presenting my own research. Prepping for the Brown Bag was very similar to presenting a semester project. Our student research groups each prepared a presentation together, and with guidance and feedback from Sanii -- we presented our ideas, accomplishments, and goals for the summer to other students and professors doing research over the summer. Preparing and executing the brown bag was very doable with my research partners. We all worked on it together as we went along and even practiced in front of all of our lab mates and Professor Sanii to receive feedback before the actual talk!

Was there anything that surprised you about lab? Anything you wish you would have known before joining?

Some days you will spend more time than you want on just getting things to work. But that's okay!! It's part of the process :)I wish I would’ve known how accepting everyone would be, regardless of my age and experience. I was the youngest in the lab, but no one ever treated me like I was less than. I loved the support from everyone in lab. I was surprised by Professor Sanii's hands off method and really appreciated his encouragement that we should all think for ourselves and bring ideas to him. It's very different from a course lab where you are given a strict procedure to follow. There is a lot of room for leeway and creativity in research lab.

What's your biggest take away from your summer of research?

Failure is inevitable, but it's incredibly important to record key information and conditions during a failure, because it always helps to figure out how to improve and move forward. Also, look in the literature!!! It's helpful to familiarize yourself with the field and often times key in problem solving. Time management is key! I learned how to maximize the use of my time and how to prioritize projects. I think doing research in Professor Sanii's lab, specifically, not only verses students in research, but allows them another way to learn about the scientific community, helps build collaboration skills, and fosters closer relationships to professors and students in Keck between the three schools. After finishing research at this summer, I definitely have a new view of Keck as a community I am a part of, a feeling which became much stronger as a result of my summer experience. My biggest take away from my research this summer was definitely that there are many differences between course labs and research labs. You learn a lot of very valuable technical skills and knowledge in course labs. But, when you are in a research lab, you have to learn to adjust to the fact that you are not always going to know what to do and you have to come up with a plan for things you might try based on logic as well as safety.

Your fondest memory/most frustrating moment?

Fondest memory is playing with dry ice and soap with the lab :)My fondest memory was playing with dry ice with my lab mates while listening to “ice ice baby” ;)I just think it is important to remember that research involves a lot of trial and error, so be prepared to try things that often don't work out! A lot of times failing is as telling in research as succeeding in obtaining the result you expected. Fondest memory is definitely going to a UCLA conference with all my lab mates, going out to dinner together, and staying in an airbnb. It was a great end to a very productive summer!!!

Any last comments? :)

Join the lab!!!!! :)Join Sanii’s lab! It’s the best! If you are unsure about research, reach out to students that have done it!!! We are so so happy to help!

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giftstarir · 6 years

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autoirishlitdiscourses · 7 years

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Discourse of Tuesday, 12 September 2017

By extension from common of turbary the right day for most students who are interested in reciting, please see me! You picked a good holiday break! Just beginning then. Very very well. You did a good way to think about this before in case you're struggling with a C-335 350 D 315 335 D 300 315 D-—You've presented a good poem, delivered it very well done. Let me know if I have you come out and talk about what you wanted to hear that and hide behind the fact that you must take the small late plan email penalty ½%, but I'm pretty sure it's too late to start writing to get back to you on which of your introduction and conclusion feel a little bit. I think that, as outlined in my intra-textual comments, I guess I'll just have to do you think about what you need to reschedule your presentation/discussion assignment are available. 93% the high end of your total grade for the term to spare. For Ulysses in front of me to leave it. All in all, you really do have some really perceptive set of beliefs about what's most important, or whether you're technically meeting the discussion in the romance competition by any means the only representation of Catholicism in The Butcher Boy. I think that you think about how you're going to be one of my girlfriends. Think about using a Google Docs, too, that makes a strong choice between using theory as a discussion. A 100% 150 A 95% 142. You responded gracefully to questions from the second is for them and see what he wants a short poem was very fair to O'Casey's text, although I think that there is a pretty rigorous framework at the final itself, I think, finally, that asking yourself what your paper, however. Well done on this. I'll give away add codes as quickly as possible, because I think that it would help to push back the midterm to send me an email saying that it needed to pay even closer attention to the front of the quarter is that you are nervous about this. Let me know likewise, let me know what you want to set up that expectation for its repetition. Keep practicing periodically even when you're presenting to a more successful essay. Thanks for doing such an impassioned delivery would have had difficulty answering any questions, please. No real surprises for me! I pass out copies of documents this certainly satisfies the requirements out from hanging out her washing; changed It seems it is not just talking about in section even more importantly to yourself.

I will produce an MLA-compliant entry for every reason, but you handled yourself and your final draft, let it motivate other people are reacting to look at what other students in relation to this recording of it next to Yeats's The Song of Wandering Aengus Lesson Plan for Week 10: A traditional form of love has trapped her in a later week—though the Irish as drunk, violent, and I'm sorry for the class as a whole. You picked a very solid aspects of your analysis and the University, and you didn't hear his discussion of as close to this question would help, as critic Harold Bloom phrases the relationship between the selection. You added an I before think I can link to it than that they didn't cover but that would be helpful, but is perhaps one of the poem, the central claim expressed in your paper to problematize the issues that I've gestured in margin comments, in the front of the more recent versions at all. 46: A jail. There are also welcome to read. B paper is that you use and the overall goal is to think about writing as communication, and that this is probably not necessary for purposes of satisfying the technical requirements at least some people never get to everything, I hope that helps to further your analysis assumes that you've identified this as a way of discussion and were almost completely accurate to the novel reward? Short version: writing a more interesting one, but I think that what your exact point of analysis.

Thanks! If you are conversant with Celtic mythology in which you perform some complex and loaded as a whole evinces, is that your delivery; you also write well and can't assert offhand that these are different kinds of background, and that often make a two-minute or so, so I wanted to say that you are certainly other possibilities that are dangerous for the quarter by 1 p. Quite frankly, the professor is behind a bit here. There is also available. Your paper has frequent, severe grammatical/mechanical problems can receive by attending section any other questions, OK? My one suggestion at this point would be like—I realize that these paintings fall within the 1920s for your section, probably due to the stage, your delivery was very productive reading in which it could. For very similar reasons, including basic plot-recall questions. Incidentally, I had been discovered 9 years before Ulysses was set. All in all, you might compare it with the fact that you have 86. Have a good topic what I mean: you had a lot of these issues, none are egregious or otherwise receiving a non-aligned in the text. Then, I'd like to recite, and they will be, or make large-scale concerns very effectively and in line 650; changed said please to says please; changed from to by this lack of a set of ideas in here, all of these ways, is that you want to cover, refreshing everyone's memory on the final exam! I'm glad to be crying about?

You picked a longer-than-required selection and delivered it in any reasonable person could disagree with you in front of the friend who was scheduled to recite and discuss this and be very profitable. Students Program. Think about what home means, but there are several alternate readings that are so stressful for you. First I made a lot of things quite effectively. You had an A paper will almost certainly would have liked to have mercilessly restructured around that observation. On widow/orphan control in MS Word 2007: A plagiarized or otherwise just saying random things about what kind of quiet this quarter in comparison to and. Discussion Section Guidelines handout. You did a very good idea, it refers to illegal alcohol, or at least apparently reaction to painkillers and had a really excellent work at the end of the scenarios above; you delivered a sensitive, and this made it a fresh eye and asking yourself what your other possible topic, I offer you a bit in the last available slots. However, you had a good job of weaving together multiple strands you've been describing. The superstition that May is an impressive move. This is when you sent me an outline, and that this doesn't ever quite happen in your hand.

485 A 450 465 A-. I think, but I think that your discussion got cut off perhaps just by doing background reading on aspects of your plans by 10 a. A-range, though, you've got it perfect. Here's a breakdown on your way into Ulysses, but they're also doing a solid understanding of the specific language of your elements work together in section even more than twenty-four. In the same time, the larger-scale point in the quarter is still fair game for recitation. 5% of the century, and if that works for you, and how is Joyce positioning himself in relation to them by glancing backwards in your own thoughts on the last chance to add classes without a petition. REMINDER: If your word processor. 97% or above, I just want to sign up for a recitation of at a more general discussion of a small boost to your own ideas and where it will give it back to you with comments before the paper's overall point s unintelligible. On the other member of it is also a complex historical condition and trace a clear cubist depiction of people haven't done public speaking. Shift p. It can be a nice plan here.

This means that you're dealing with I think is likely that you were, at your test to know. I will do when they have been nice to have—my own policy to treat in a more rigorously for your recitation segment deals explicitly with it. She wrote a very good work here, but really, your readings are generally fair and perceptive, and an estimate based on an assignment that you won't have a/written statement/indicating/specific reasons/why your grade in the discussion requirement. You managed time very well with your discussion notes here let me know which texts have a standard list of the pieces of writing. In all of these would be to find one or more particular poems by Eavan Bolland, not only contributes to a cause emerge, and, basically, you can respond productively if they want to talk in detail below and your paper's structure. You do a very good advice and I'll get plenty of other possibilities, and you related it effectively to larger-scale course concerns and did a very sophisticated and deserve to represent your excellent thoughts even more specific examination of how specific people's ideas were. James Joyce's Ulysses: discussion of the very rare and do the work for you if you need to include a copy of your selection but were very close to the historical construction of this. Thank you so much thought and writing a report. Think about what constitutes the understanding of a third of a letter grade, insofar as it could have conceivably been even stronger. Your arrangement was enjoyable and you'd clearly spent some time working it out Wednesday, and that neither one has enough space to discuss and haven't used Word extensively for a specific argument about it more in section and it's OK to turn in your participation score a small boost to your first question, or is going to open up different kinds of political beliefs does the show the people who never ask naive questions never stop being naive. Is rather interesting ways to think about who Fergus actually is and will get you a bit too tired tonight to do things other than a B and almost impossible to say to each other in regard to this point.

54: A letter to my office hours tomorrow if you haven't yet graded, you can receive email at your U-Mail address regularly. But really, you need any changes that I agree with me, as outlined in my mailbox, or historical documents, if they cover ground which you will leave the room, were everywhere but operated independently and no more commonly yes responses, OK?

Again, well done! We will then schedule an appointment right at 3:56, which is an attempt to look for cues that this is of poor quality: The Dubliners perform The Patriot Game, mentioned in this article in the course as a thinker or a human being. I suspect that you make your paper will be may still be calculating your grade provided that it's necessarily the best option for you your grade: You gave a sensitive, thoughtful paper that you attribute to them effectively, and you played a very good close reading of the quarter as a broad topic, but do feel bad about that. At this point would be to pick for you if you have any questions about Cyclops or it might sound, because as declared in writing here. Synge's The Playboy of the first line of your recitation and discussion of the class than when you're making assertions that require backing—I've pointed to some punctuation and formatting issues—none of Joyce's narrators have the overall goal is to do whatever would be cleaning up your work pay off for you. Still, if I recall correctly, IMDb.

By defining your key terms what does old Sull do; added the before one I loved; changed We feel in England believe on line 12; and changed I'd say that the male partner in that section; b you're still interested in doing your research. I think that this doesn't mean that you'd thought closely about what you can engage in micro-level issues of phrasing and style would, I think it would help to make up your recitation comes, make sure to have a more general occurrence of seeing people as masses. How to Get An A paper; still, this could conceivably have paid off for you is now five weeks late on this particular passage that's one way to figure out how to discuss it without help, and musical there are certainly other possibilities, and specifically with representations of very important aspects to your TAs for English 150 course, this is not until next week! 3:30 spot at the end. I think that you're capable of making. These unpleasant implications have been to try harder on the due date that you could take Playboy as a texts that you're more effectively. I'll post a slightly edited version of your texts in relation to your paper as a serial killer. /Participation score above 50 points, would have needed to pay enough attention to the section website if you can't go over twelve, I think you have questions or themes that have been, both of you has elected to appropriate without attribution.

#Irish literature #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Python #Markov chains

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