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borathae · 2 years

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↳ Index [Chapter 05 - Baicha]

Warnings: cute & wholesome moments, Yoongi plays the guitar, just him being complete husband material, the slow burn in this chapter is killing me, a plottwist :O

Wordcount: 10.8k

a/n: writing this story is like therapy, i feel so content with every sentence

Today will be a good day. You received a call from Namjoon’s wife this morning, telling you that they were planning on doing a barbeque later today and that they want you there. You said yes instantly and ever since then the day had been nothing but wonderful. Work in the garden felt easy to do and you ate a light salad to truly keep your stomach empty for later.

Barbeques at the Kim brothers’ place are always a blast. They are there, as are the Jeon brothers, Hoseok will be there with Mickey and Jimin will make sure to bring some cupcakes with him. You will bring some tea for when the night’s colder and together your group of friends will have an amazing late summer night on the Kim brothers' farm.

You were really hoping that they would be planning a barbeque again this summer, as they are always the most fun to have.

You leave the cottage at around four, after having told Levi to take good care of it and making sure his bowls are filled up.

“Oh?” you hear a voice behind you.

You turn around, meeting Yoongi who was in the middle of ringing your door bell. There he is. The man who made you look like a complete fool just two nights ago.

“Oh Yoongi? Hey”, you say, fumbling with your hair nervously, “what brings you here?”

“I uh…wanted to pick you up.”

“Pick me up?” you study him from head to toe. He is wearing a white linen shirt today with red stripes. It hangs over beige pants which he combined with a pair of black Birkenstocks. He looks so handsome that you feel your heart flutter at the view.

“Yeah, Sooyoung called me and told me that they are having a barbeque and that you would be there too, so I thought I’d pick you up so we could go there together.”

“Oh? They invited you too?” you exclaim and giggle, “wow, the day became even better now that you’re there too.”

He blushes vividly, lowering his eyes. This just took three hundred damage on his heart and sanity. He will be swooning over it for the next five business days, thank you very much.

“Just wait here, I’ll get my bike and then we can go”, you say, skipping off to your shed.

Yoongi waits in the meantime, looking at the impressive flowerbeds which are framing your entrance path. They are wildflower beds, showing of an array of bright colours and humming in the bees and bumblebees feasting on the sweet flowers. Your grape plants are in full fruit, framing your door and soaking the air with a sweet scent. Yoongi inhales deeply and hums in contentment.

“Nice smell”, he mumbles.

“The grapes?” you ask him, having appeared next to him with your bike.

“Yeah”, he says, “they smell really sweet.”

“Yeah right?” you agree and then pick a handful of the dark purple fruit, “try them. I don’t use any pesticides so they’re good to eat.”

Yoongi tries them with a shy thank you, widening his eyes at the incredibly sweet taste.

“Wow, those are the sweetest grapes I have ever tasted”, he gasps, chewing deliciously.

“Yeah, right? It’s from all the sun they’re getting here. I love it when they bear fruit, I always start off my day by standing underneath them and snacking on a few grapes. It makes me feel so good.”

“I can see that, they are so yummy.”

“Here. Take some, you can snack on them as we drive”, you say, ripping off two big bundles to place them each in your bikes’ baskets.

“That wasn’t necessary.”

“No please, I insist. It’s the least I can do for the mess up last time we met.”

“Mess up?”

“Yeah uhm”, you sneak a glance at his lips, “you know”, you say, pointing at your own lips.

“Oh that”, Yoongi widens his eyes, “it’s fine, I was just..haha”, he laughs nervously, scratching the side of his neck, “it was my fault. I was being weird and nervous, I just...haha, sorry.”

“No it’s good. I just read the situation wrong.”

“No you didn’t, I was just nervous. I don’t know why I pulled away.”

“Ah, so uhm. Ah okay, so uhm…we’re still...you know, good?”

Yoongi nods his head and grins.

“Okay phew”, you exhale in a huff of air, “well then I’m glad.”

“Me too”, he says.

You and him exchange a look, having to look away in giddiness just seconds later. So he doesn’t see you as just a friend. You guys are still very much going strong. Oh, what a relief.

“So you’re ready for all those hills?” you ask him.

“Not at all”, he says, making you laugh.

The two of you climb on top of your bikes and then begin your journey to the Kim brothers' farm. Like always with Yoongi you go slow, enjoying the scenery while making sure he doesn’t die of exhaustion. It’s endearing because even on the little incline which separates your cottage from his’, he is huffing and puffing.

“You really have the worst stamina, don’t you?” you tease him.

“No I don’t, I just hate hills”, he defends himself.

“Ah of course, it’s the hills.”

“Yeah they are”, he insists with his lips in an adorable pout.

You pass by his cottage. You inspect it from far away. He kept the upstairs windows open, but locked all the ones on the ground floor. His flower beds look in better shape than they did last time you looked at his cottage.

“You cut the roses?” you ask him.

“I did. It was the easiest task to do today, before I had to leave. I didn’t want to start something big, which I would have had to pause in the middle of it. I cut all the dead branches. I hope they grow back tenser now.”

“I’m sure they will. I always tell Levi. You have to cut back your plants if you want them to really grow.”

“You seem to know a lot about gardening.”

“Yeah, I do. It’s basically all I do next to making tea”, you say and laugh.

“That’s great. It’s a good life.”

“Yeah, it’s the best”, you agree, having to smile.

The first hill is climbed after some struggle. You take a short break on top of it, looking down at your cottage and Yoongi’s. You like that view. Colourful splotches of your gardens on the green and brown canvas of the surrounding landscape. It looks so very nice.

“You have to give me a tour of your garden one day”, Yoongi says then, sounding very out of breath.

“You would want that?” you gasp, looking at him with sparkling eyes.

He nods his head.

“Wow, of course I can give you a tour. But tell me when because then I will make ice cream and we can eat it under the birch trees. I have a little pond there and some chairs. It’s a really nice place and I like to argue that I’m making the best ice cream ever.”

“I’m sure you do. I’m looking forward to it”, he says, giving you a smile.

You retort it and then you already turn to speed off into the distance.

Yoongi follows you after calling your name and mumbling about “how fast you are” to himself. He catches up with you on the decline of the third hill, announcing himself by ringing his little bell.

You look to your right, meeting his gaze and feeling the need to smile. It is truly peculiar, you look at Yoongi and feel so happy to see him that you always feel like smiling.

“You’re finally here?” you tease him to which he rolls his eyes.

“It’s not my fault that you are speeding. You’re worse than Hobi”, he teases back.

“Okay, good Sir you take that back. I am not worse than Hobi”, you complain in a laugh.

“Never, you’re worse.”

“Wow, so mean.”

You pass by Misses Kang looking out her window. She greets you by screaming your names and then almost toppling out the window by waving way too enthusiastically.

“Careful Misses Kang, you’ll fall”, Yoongi calls back.

“Oh you two! I will go to the temple today and pray for your long relationship!” she tells you.

“Thank you, this means a lot”, you tell her, sending colour to Yoongi’s cheeks.

You also meet the old Mister Choi. Like always around this time of the day, he is napping in his rocking chair, but lifts his head upon hearing the distinct jingle of your bells.

He stands up hurriedly to lift his hat and wave with it.

“Where are ya going?” he asks you.

“The Kim brothers, we’re having a barbeque”, Yoongi answers him.

“Well, that’s splendid. I met the young Mister Park too, not too long ago. Said he’s on his way to them too. Tell them my blessings.”

“We will, thank you Mister Choi.”

You and Yoongi speed off afterwards, taking the sharp turn safely. You look at him. He notices and sneaks a glance at you.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, touching his cheek in case some insect decided to land on him.

“I just thought about how shy you were in the beginning”, you say and smile, “and now look at you, you’re part of our village.”

Yoongi’s lips curl into a fond smile, his cheeks become rosy.

“I’m glad I am. I love it here.”

“Yeah right? It’s the best place to live.”

“It is. Now race, whoever reaches the valley last has to do ten push ups”, he says and then speeds off.

“Min Yoongi!” you gasp, “give me a warning first! This is unfair!”

His loud cackling is the only thing you get.

“Just you wait”, you murmur, furrowing your brows in seriousness.

You end up winning, solely because Yoongi miscalculated just how insane you are on your bike. He was so sure that he would win until suddenly you sped past him like a maniac, screaming about how you are the queen of this race and making him eat the dust of your wheels.

“What the hell ___?” he says once he reaches you in the valley.

You cackle, doing a little victory dance, “I won, you can’t beat me. I am the queen of the world.”

“Yeah and a total maniac. I literally thought you’d fall.”

“Me too”, you snicker, “I was so scared that I’d eat dust, but I didn’t. You did”, you point at him, wiggling your hips, “now do the push ups.”

“Are you serious? Here? But it’s so dirty”, he whines, earning himself a fond roll of your eyes.

“Fine, but I will get my push ups. Now come, we’re already running late and I don’t want to miss out on Sooyoung’s mimosas.”

You drive next to each other, taking up the entire earthen field path. People drive here rarely – even if it is the only road leading to the faraway city – but it seems that once you have found your way into this valley with its sparkling river, endless fields and cozy mountain villages, one doesn’t really feel the need to escape again. That is why the paths are still earthen and the air isn’t tense in fumes. People rarely leave this place.

“Do you sometimes miss the city life?” you ask Yoongi.

He looks at you, studying your features.

“Why should I when I’m here with you?” he answers you, sending heat to your cheeks.

“Yoongi, dear”, you gasp, “what the hell, that came outta nowhere.”

“Sorry”, he mumbles, blushing vividly.

This is the first time he so obviously flirted with you and you are a mess because of it. You stifle a giggle and decide to look at the path ahead instead. You can already see the Kim brothers’ bridge as a little dot on the horizon. You are still far away enough that you can’t make out their flags, but you are sure that they are as colourful as they always are.

“I do miss ordering takeout”, Yoongi says then, calling your attention.

“Yeah, I get that”, you laugh, “it’s so exhausting sometimes to always have to cook.”

“Yeah, totally”, he chuckles, “but it’s alright. It’s so easy to sleep here. The city’s always noisy.”

“Agreed and it’s even better to live here now. Did you hear?” you look at his side profile, “Hobi said that his village is finally getting a supermarket. Which means we don’t have to take the bus to the city anymore.”

“I know, he told me on Wednesday. I’m so looking forward to it.”

“Me too. We gotta go there together once it’s done.”

“Totally”, Yoongi nods enthusiastically, sending flutters through your stomach.

The two of you have finally reached the bridge. You look up as you drive over it. You were right. The flags are as colourful as ever.

It’s not long anymore. Small garlands of lights are guiding your way, painting the path in a golden hue. You are sure that Taehyung was the one who wrapped them around the fences. He always says that it is to make sure that people don’t get lost on their way to their farm.

“They did proper work here”, Yoongi says.

“Yeah right? It’s so pretty here”, you agree, sighing in contentment.

And for the rest of your short ride, you let the lights guide your way.

“Guys! Finally you’re here”, it is Taehyung who greets you with a bright smile, holding the door open for you.

“Hey Tae. How are you?” you ask him, entering his farm house with Yoongi following close by.

You both leave your shoes on after Taehyung tells you that they have to clean up tomorrow either way because of Namjoon running around the ground floor in his stable boots.

“Awesome”, he grins, “y’all were the only ones missin’. We’re waitin’ on you with the mimosas.”

“Oh dear we’re sorry. If we knew you were waiting we would have pedalled faster”, you say, but Taehyung dismisses you with a wave of his hand.

“Don’t cha worry”, he says, “Junghyun’s tellin’ stories so we havin’ lotta fun.”

Taehyung leads you through his house, catching you up on all the stories Jungkook’s brother has been telling up until now. You both listen intently, making your little “ooh”s and “aah”s whenever Taehyung is telling an especially thrilling part.

The others greet you with happy smiles and big grins and just moments later you all share Sooyoung’s mimosas, listening to Junghyun’s stories until Jimin interrupts the moment with a little.

“Okay but, am I the only one really hungry already?”

To which all of you agree that indeed you were also hungry. Seokjin leaves to get the grill ready, Jungkook and Yoongi soon follow after him, chatting about their own barbeque experiences. You leave with Sooyoung and Mia (Seokjin’s wife and total comedian just like him) to work on all the side dishes and after finishing his mimosa, Jimin follows too. The rest of your little gang stays behind, setting up the table in the hay stables. And yes, Taehyung is the official garland decorator of the evening.

Once the side dishes group returns with the finished dishes, the hay stable is lit up beautifully. Mixed with the sweet scent of dried hay and the moment is enough to make everyone smile.

The barbeque group soon returns as well. Part of it at least. Jungkook sits down next to his older brother, asking him if he wants another beer and if he should get it for him. Seokjin sits down next to his wife, placing his hand on her thigh and giving her a little cheek kiss before asking her if she is happy to which she retorts that she couldn’t be any happier.

“Hey Kook.”

Jungkook turns to you, “yes, noona?”

“Where’s Yoongi?”

“Oh, he’ll be here soon. He wanted to stay behind and watch the fire.”

“Ah, I see. Thanks.”

Jungkook gives you a cute grin and then continues talking to Junghyun. He stays turned to you however, signalling you that you were more than welcome to join their conversation. You end up doing exactly that, soon finding yourself lost in too many tales and stories.

It is Jimin once again who interrupts the moment.

“Okay but where is Yoongi and when’s the meat finally done?”

“You are right”, Hoseok says, “where is Yoongi?”

They all look at you simultaneously. You stop mid-sip, setting your (third) glass of fruit punch down gently.

“Why are you all looking at me?” you ask them.

“Do you know where Yoongi went?” Jimin asks.

“How should I know?”

“I mean, you are his girlfriend after all, maybe you and him share some sort of telekinesis.”

Yes, your heart just sped up uncontrollably and yes you are currently swooning inside. No you will not let it show.

“I’ll just go looking for him”, you say and get up.

You leave but not before telling Namjoon to stop eating the gimbap or else he won’t have space for the meat.

The others soon return to their conversation, but not before having one talk about just how adorable you and Yoongi are together and that you complement each other perfectly.

You spot Yoongi outside at the back of the hay stable. Seokjin set up his barbeque station there, as it was safe from wind and the view was amazing too. Just hundred yards from you, behind a meadow of flowers and high grasses, the river was winding its way past you, framed by big willows and giving your ears a free concert of frogs and crickets.

Yoongi is standing by the grill, looking at the view with his hands on his hips and his tummy sticking out as he arches his back slightly.

"Hey."

Yoongi turns, meeting your gaze.

"Oh, ___ hey", he says, fixing his posture "what's up?"

"Nothing much, just checking up on you because you've been gone for a while.”

“I know, sorry. It’s so beautiful here. I just wanted to look at it.”

“I know, it really is”, you agree and lift your glasses into view, “I also got you some fruit punch.”

“Wow thanks”, he says, accepting the glass with a grateful smile. He sets his lips against the glass and takes a big sip, “mhm, very fruity.”

“Yeah, right? Mia makes the best fruit punch. It’s always so sweet.”

“It is. I like it a lot”, he agrees and after taking one more sip, he sets the glass down on the little wooden table beside him. He has his grilling tools on there as well and the meat is waiting to be grilled in a safe container.

“So how long are you still gonna miss from the party?” you ask him.

"Not for long, I just wanna make sure the heat's right."

You round the grill, claiming the spot right next to him. He sneaks a quick glance at you.

"It looks good to me", you say, counting the red glowing coal.

You have counted seven pieces when Yoongi talks again.

"Yeah, we're getting there”, he says, “you know, the most important thing to a good barbeque is patience."

"Really?"

"Mh-hm", he nods his head in a way that makes his hair bounce up and down.

You watch him with delight. It’s so nice to listen to him talk about stuff.

"And why's that?" you ask him.

"Well, uhm", he says and furrows his brows as he thinks, "because the meat will taste better", he decides and nods his head, "if you get the heat just right and then let the meat cook slowly, it will really show off its flavour and juiciness. That’s what makes the barbeque really yummy."

"Aah I see", you say and hum in agreement, "you sound as if you have lots of experience."

"I do. I, uhm", he studies your features for just a second, "I had lots of barbeques in my past", he says.

"I see, I see", you say, looking back at the coal, "well, then we can be glad to have you here tonight. You know, Seokjin normally does the grilling and he's amazing at it, but I’m excited for how your cooking will taste."

"God, now I’m nervous", he confesses and laughs.

"Why?"

"I don't want to disappoint."

"No, trust me. You won’t", you assure him, giving him a smile.

He retorts it, before feeling shy and looking back at the grill. He stretches his hand to it, checking the temperature.

"And?" you ask him.

"Perfect, the meat will be done in no time."

“Oh that’s great. Now I’m happy I came outside when I did. I can watch you put it on now and maybe learn a few things", you say.

Yoongi hums in acknowledgement, but other than that stays silent. He is too concentrated on hanging the meat just right.

"Come, I’ll help you”, you offer, setting down your glass.

“Oh? Thanks”, he murmurs.

So you and Yoongi work together at putting on the well marinated piece of meat on the grill. You click the button for the spinning mechanism to turn on and Yoongi is the one closing the lid.

You high five each other afterwards, holding hands for only a second too long while looking at each other’s lips. His lips are so pretty. Gosh, how pretty they really are.

"So uhm", he pulls away with glowing cheeks, "that'll take some time now."

You blink quickly. Have you been staring? You have. That’s so embarrassing.

"Some time?” you clear your terribly dry throat, “oh dear and I’m already so hungry."

“Same, but don’t worry. It’s gonna be so worth it.”

“I trust it will.”

You stay by the grill for a while, sipping on your fruit punch and listening to the crickets. It is truly so peculiar. You couldn’t imagine anyone with whom you would want to share silence with more than Yoongi and yet you feel so nervous when you and him don’t talk. Is it because you like him so much that silence feels so nerve wrecking?

Luckily for you, Yoongi breaks it for you.

"The crickets are so loud."

"Yeah, right? It’s such a soothing sound."

"Agreed. Although I have to say, it took some time getting used to for me. I hated them at first because they were so loud."

"Aren't you used to noise? You lived in the city."

He laughs, "I did, but I weirdly enough didn’t hear the traffic anymore. I think it'd annoy me so much these days though."

"Mhm, same. I like the silence."

You don’t say a lot after that, except for the time Yoongi checked up on the meat and you asked him how it was looking to which he told you that it was looking great.

Yoongi glances at you after a while.

“Do you want to walk to the river?” he asks shyly, hoping with all his heart that you would say yes.

“Really?”

“Yeah, why not. I’m sure it’s beautiful.”

“I’m sure it is. Okay, let’s go.”

Yoongi lets you take his hand and then lead him down the stairs and over the meadow. The glass of fruit punch you both forget on the table, feeling too busy with holding each others’ hands to really care about how empty your other hand felt.

You inhale deeply, closing your eyes for just a moment. Hay, night dew and grass cooling down after a warm day.

“I love that smell”, you say.

Yoongi takes a deep breath and exhales.

“It’s nice”, he says.

“Yes, so nice. I think hay is one of the best scents ever.”

“Mhm yeah, it’s very good. It reminds me of summer.”

“Yes, me too”, you agree and draw closer to him.

You like that. You like holding his hand and being close to him and walking over a flower meadow in the bright full moon with him.

The frogs become louder the closer to the river you get and the crickets, hidden in the high grasses, give their concerts all around you. You can also hear the faint cracking of your feet stepping on the high grasses and the soft sighs of them whenever they brush along your legs.

Yoongi’s hand feels so right to hold. Big and clearly strong. His palms are a little rough, most definitely from all the renovations he has been doing. Despite that, he holds you with softness, with tenderness and care. Holding hands with Yoongi is truly the greatest thing you have ever done.

“I like that”, you tell him softly.

“What do you like?”

“Holding your hand. It feels nice.”

Yoongi gives you a soft squeeze, “yes, it does.”

“I’m sure you must be so thrilled right now.”

“W-what do, do you mean?” he gasps, gawking at you with widened eyes.

“Because you love holding hands”, you explain and giggle.

“Ah that”, he seems to relax. He chuckles, “you’re so mean, don’t tease me. I never should have told you."

“I’m not. I think you’re adorable.”

“Oh”, he blushes. Even in the moonlight you can see that he is blushing, “thanks”, he whispers, averting his gaze away from you. He feels so giddy whenever you compliment him. Oh, Yoongi is currently bursting with happiness.

You soon encounter a big tree on your journey. It has fallen over during a storm, resting across the meadow as if it has always been part of it. Droplets of night dew are sitting on the dark moss, glimmering in the moonlight and strands of delicate grass are growing all around the stump, making it part of the meadow.

“Careful now, the moss is slippery”, Yoongi tells you, holding your hand oh so tightly as you climb over the fallen tree.

“I’m really good at climbing over things”, you tell him proudly, jumping down on the other side with a tiny grunt.

You turn to Yoongi, holding his hand tightly as he begins his climb.

“Are”, a grunt as he gets up on the tree, “you?”

“Yep, I am. I’m really proud of it because I couldn’t even properly walk after the accident and these days I’m climbing over stuff. It feels so good.”

Yoongi looks down at you and smiles, “I’m happy you can and I’m proud. You worked so hard."

"I really did and there were times where I wanted to give up, but I didn’t and I’m glad I didn’t."

"Me too. I – oh oops, ah”, he swallows whatever he wanted to say now that he clumsily slipped and is screaming for his life.

“Careful”, you gasp, catching him safely with your hands on his waist and his arms around your neck.

Yoongi lands on his feet with a low thump, stumbling into your body so close your noses are actually touching.

Your body lights up in fireworks in an instant. Your hands tug him oh so incredibly close in instinct.

“Oh dear”, you laugh, craning your neck to look at him better, “are you okay?”

Yoongi gawks at you with big eyes and glowing cheeks, “I’m okay”, he whispers, trying his hardest not to look at your lips. He should, but can’t, pull his arms away. He feels your touch, feels with what strength you hold him. His knees are so weak because of it, his heart does somersaults in his chest.

You feel it too. Just how strong the urge to kiss him is, just how good it feels to hold his waist, just how unbearable the threads between your hearts seem to try to tug you closer. Closer and closer. The tug is oh so strong. So, so strong. Closer and closer.

“It’s so funny”, Yoongi says and lowers his head, “I’m telling you to be careful and then I’m the one slipping on the moss.”

You swallow heavily, aching. Why did he pull away again? What’s with him?

“Yeah, uhm”, you force a smile to your lips, “just glad I was there to catch you.”

Yoongi lifts his head, locking eyes with you. He notices the disappointment in them, feeling his stomach twist in guilt.

“Sorry”, he whispers.

“No it’s…” you falter, “actually, I’m sorry too. I should have asked, I don’t know why I’m always just going for it.”

“Don’t, I’m just…” he stays silent for a while. It makes you wonder what he is thinking about that makes him falter oh so much.

“Am I assuming here?” you ask him.

“What?”

“Have I been making a complete fool of myself for days now while you are trying desperately to find the best possible way to friendzone me?”

“Friendzone you?”

“Yeah. Good god, I’m actually gonna say it”, you say and take a deep breath, “I think you’ve already figured out that much, but someone is very much into you”, you say and point at your own face, “I’m that someone.”

Yoongi lowers his head.

“I don’t want to friendzone you”, he whispers, “I like you too.”

“Yeah? Oh wow, that’s such a relief to hear”, you say and laugh.

Yoongi laughs and nods his head, crossing his arms behind your neck. The movement reminds you just how close you and him actually are. Your stomachs are touching, his waist is between your hands, your noses are so close to brush against each other again.

The butterflies in your stomach begin fluttering like crazy. You are so close and he likes you. This is the best night ever.

“So uhm”, you begin, tracing his sides slowly and sending shivers down his spine, “can I maybe kiss you?”

Yoongi looks at your lips and lets out a shy chuckle. He lowers his head.

“I’m nervous”, he whispers.

“Me too. You'd be the first boy I'd kiss after the accident”, you confess, moving closer just enough that your nose brushes against his cheek.

He gasps, looking at you with shy eyes.

“I, I don’t want to, to take advantage of you”, he confesses with his voice barely audible.

“You won’t. I want it”, you assure him.

“Really?”

“Yeah”, you laugh, “why’d you think I’ve been trying to kiss you for days now?”

He lowers his gaze again, “I guess. Sorry, I’m a mess.”

“It’s alright”, you whisper, “you’re cute.”

He blushes, "you think so?"

"Yes, I do. You’re really cute", you say, abandoning one of his sides to cup his cheek instead.

Maybe your eyes are deceiving you, but it seems that only for a second Yoongi is leaning into your touch.

"So cute that I wanna kiss you like crazy", you breathe, dancing your thumb over his lips.

He sighs, switches his shy gaze between the ground and your eyes. He can barely even keep up eye contact for a second and then he already breaks it again.

Yoongi gasps when you finally move closer. His knees are so wobbly that he feels like collapsing any second. His heart is racing so much that it gets hard to breathe. Truly, the only thing still keeping him standing is your strong, safe hand on his waist, feeling like electrifying fire on his skin.

“So uhm”, you whisper, tilting your head to the side while your eyes become droopier and droopier the closer you get.

Yoongi lets out a soft sigh and closes his eyes. He can’t stop it anymore. The feelings in his chest are too much. He has to let it happen. It will ruin him otherwise. He licks over his lips once to wet them and then finally moves in closer too.

“Noona, hyung. Oh dear- ah crap.”

You and Yoongi flinch away from each other, turning your heads to the intruder.

Jungkook is staring at you with big eyes.

“I, I didn’t see what, what you were d-doing”, he stutters, “I, I just wanted to tell you that, that the meat’s finished.”

You exchange a shy look with Yoongi. He seems devastated.

“Sure, thanks for telling us”, you mumble, trying very hard not to curse at Jungkook right here and there.

You just want to kiss Yoongi! Is this too much to ask?

“Okay sorry uh yeah you’re welcome and also sorry. Sorry, bye”, Jungkook babbles and then turns to literally sprint down the meadow back to the others.

“So uhm”, you look at Yoongi, “that just happened.”

You both know. The magical moment is ruined and you both feel too shy to initiate it again.

“Yeah, right”, he agrees and breaks away from you, “I think we should go back. You said you’re hungry.”

“I am”, you say and huff out air, “goddamn it Yoongi, are we ever gonna kiss?”

He chuckles and intertwines his fingers with yours.

They are all gawking at you as you enter the stables. Hoseok even wiggles his brows at you. But other than that they don’t say a lot, offering you some of the food as an apology for interrupting your precious time.

You find yourselves outside once the dinner is finished. Sitting by the bonfire Seokjin lit with Yoongi’s help and drinking fruit punch.

"Can anyone here play the guitar?" Jungkook asks.

Nobody answers. Like every time your little group has a barbeque. Jungkook bring his guitar only to fail miserably. It has been like this for years.

"Hyung", Taehyung says, tapping Yoongi’s shoulder.

"Yeah?"

"Aren't you a music producer?"

"Yes?"

"Wooah you are?"

"What the hell that’s so cool!"

"Who is the most famous person you met?"

The others seem thrilled to find out this fact about their newest friend. They are all staring at him with sparkling eyes and a big grin.

"I don't meet my clients. I just uhm, talk to their management through mails. It’s the easiest that way", Yoongi explains shyly, fumbling with his thumbs.

"Wow that’s so cool", Jimin says, "so you basically know all the celebrities?"

Yoongi shakes his head, "I barely know anyone."

"Aah", Jimin lets out and nods his head in understanding, "but who's the most famous person you worked for? Tell us."

Yoongi shifts on his chair, looking rather uncomfortable. He scratches the side of his neck, sneaking a glance at you.

"Guys stop it", you speak up, "I'm sure he can’t talk about that. You know how secret you have to be with celebrities."

"Ooooh", the others gasp in unison, widening their eyes as if you had just told them the secret existence of aliens.

"Is that right?" Hoseok says, "can you not talk about it?"

Yoongi nods his head, "I try not to."

"Wooow", they gasp again.

"Wow hyung you’re so cool. You like a secret agent or somthin", Namjoon says.

"I guess", Yoongi mumbles with his cheeks burning up.

"So does that mean you can make music?" Jungkook asks to which Yoongi gives him a shy nod, "and can you play the guitar?"

"Maybe, I’m not good at it."

"Okay you have to play", Taehyung insists, picking up Jungkook's guitar to press it into the hands of Yoongi.

Yoongi gawks at it and blushes.

"I'm really not good", he insists.

"Doesn’t matter, play us something", Taehyung stresses.

Yoongi sneaks a glance at you. You seem mesmerised by him. With a racing heart, he decides to play.

It's just two notes and the others are already ooing and aaing about it.

"So good!"

"Wow, so talented!"

Yoongi lowers his head and tries to blend them out. Music will always be his safe space. It’s no different tonight. Soon he can’t hear anything else except the song he is playing.

You watch him in awe, feeling butterflies dance in your stomach. So Yoongi can play the guitar. You should have figured that he can and yet it surprises you in the best way possible.

He seems so lost in the music, so entirely at peace with himself. The melody is familiar to your ears. It’s one of the pop songs which have been playing on the radio on most days.

It feels so special to listen to, because you know for a fact that it played on most Tuesdays whenever he visited. Perhaps you are making things up, but it almost seems as if he picked out this song because of your tea shop.

You sigh and rest your chin on top of your hands. He sounds so nice when he plays.

Yoongi knows exactly why he picked out this song. The reason is currently gazing at him as if his face was the prettiest artwork. He has been thinking about this song for days now. He calls it his Tuesday song, his tea shop song, his ___ song. It makes him think of you and somehow you were the first thing popping into his mind when he started playing.

He finishes it with a perfect note, lifting his head upon hearing the applause.

"That was amazing!"

"You are so talented hyung!"

"This was the best!"

Your friends are praising him passionately. Seokjin even goes so far as to give Yoongi a brotherly pat on the back.

But Yoongi only looks at you. He loves the reaction of the others, but it is your reaction which really counts for him.

“That was so good. Wow, I have goosebumps. Look”, you say, showing him your arm.

Yoongi is melting. So you liked it.

“Thank you”, he murmurs and lowers his gaze.

"Another one, give us more", Junghyun asks to which the others agree with nods of their heads.

With confidence in his chest and a tingling stomach, he starts a new song. It’s a song, which he has known for years. It has been with him through a lot and he wants you to hear it.

“Oh I know this song”, Seokjin exclaims and begins singing the lyrics.

“Ah right, that’s the song. I knew it was familiar”, Jimin says and then joins in.

Yoongi lifts his head, watching in awe as one by one you all seem to join in. Jimin and Jungkook and his brother have their arms around each others’ shoulders as they harmonise. Namjoon and Sooyoung are holding hands, looking at each other as they serenade each other. Seokjin is so lost in the music that he doesn’t even notice at first when Taehyung takes his hand to hold and then sway from side to side. Hoseok has his phone out, filming the moment with sparkling eyes. And you? You are looking at Yoongi with a smile.

He smiles and begins singing as well.

So this is how it feels to connect over music.

Yoongi plays another song after that and soon that song turns into countless songs and a night filled with singing and laughter.

You leave far, far into the night. Seokjin offered Yoongi, Jimin and you a lift home. One you all accepted gladly as driving uphill in the middle of the night sounded like torture to all of you. Jimin took the passenger seat while you and Yoongi decided to get comfortable on the hood of the truck.

So now tugged under a blanket and with another blanket under your heads as a makeshift pillow you are looking out into the endless night sky while from the opened windows a faint melody from the radio reaches your ears.

You can hear the distant chatter of Seokjin and Jimin, but the purring of the truck is loud enough to distort their conversation into inaudible mumbling. You don’t mind that you can’t hear them. They have their own conversation and you have Yoongi with you.

“This evening was epic”, you break the silence.

“Yes, it was.”

“I didn’t even know that you could play the guitar.”

“Yeah, I taught it to myself years ago.”

“That’s so cool. You play so well.”

“Thanks”, he murmurs and blushes.

You look at him, “what instruments do you play?”

“Just the guitar and the piano.”

“Woah, that’s so cool. You are so talented.”

“No, I’m really not. I just do it because it feels right to do.”

He makes you smile. You settle back with a content sigh.

“That’s good to hear. It’s a nice reason to want to do something”, you say, “I bet it’s really useful for your job too.”

“I guess”, he murmurs quietly.

You sneak a glance at him.

"You don’t like to talk about your work, do you?" you ask him.

"Not really."

"Is it because you actually have sworn some oath of secrecy?" you joke and giggle.

When Yoongi doesn’t laugh with you however, you stop, looking at him with widened eyes.

"Wait, did you really?"

He shakes his head, "I just don’t want to define myself as my job anymore."

"Anymore?"

"I did. For the longest time, I was work and work was me. I don’t want to be that person anymore. That person ruined a lot of good relationships and hurt the people I care about. He was selfish and I hate him."

"I see”, you murmur, “if it helps, I think you’re very far from that person.”

When Yoongi doesn’t say anything you look at him, meeting his just slightly glassy gaze.

“You really think so?” he whispers.

You nod your head, “you’re sweet and you take time for everyone you meet or who needs your help. I can see that you do and that people feel comfortable in your presence. And I think that that’s far from how you tell me you were in the past.”

His fingers intertwine with yours then. Under the blanket and so tightly that you wonder if he decided to never let you go again.

“Thank you”, the words are barely audible, but carry great meaning. You can’t figure out what the exact meaning was, but you feel that with those two words Yoongi is thanking you for something grande, something that seems to bring tears to his eyes and for his fingers to clasp you oh so tightly.

“Don’t mention it. I mean it”, you tell him, caressing his knuckles with your thumb, “also, if it helps. I think your job is really cool. You get to create something out of nothing and that’s wonderful."

"You do that too."

"What?" you laugh, "no, I don’t? I just make tea."

"Yeah exactly. You make tea and with it create feelings."

You snort, furrowing your brows at him.

"If I wanna be relaxed I'll order something with lavender or chamomile. I wanna be happy? I damn well should order Hobi's oolong. I wanna feel refreshed? I'll just get an iced tea. You make feelings and moods with your tea and that’s wonderful in my eyes."

Yoongi gasps when you fall against him in a tight hug. Your arms are around his waist, your cheek is squished against his shoulder.

"Thank you", you whisper, squeezing him, “that’s the nicest thing someone has ever said about my tea. Thank you.”

Yoongi falters for just a second, looking at you with widened eyes. With a fluttering heart, he places his arm around you, rubbing your arm softly.

“I mean it.”

You nod your head in understanding, “thank you”, your voice is barely there, but filled with gratitude.

You think the moon is brighter all of a sudden, as if Yoongi gave the night a certain magical glow to it. You can see the rice fields and the cut down wheat fields, which appear a bluish white under the moonlight. Even the mountains, far far away, are visible to your eyes, standing against the dark sky as even darker shadows.

"I had a burnout", he murmurs into the silence.

"Huh?" you lift your head just enough that you can glance at his face.

"That's another reason why I hate talking about my work. I know many people have a burnout and I’m not special", he laughs painfully.

"No, don’t say that. I haven’t met someone who had a burnout before. You’re not ordinary."

"Thanks, I guess", he murmurs.

"Did work make you have it?"

"Yes, it did. I worked day in and out, without ever taking a break. And one day I woke up and couldn’t get up anymore. I physically couldn’t get up anymore. I knew that technically I should have been able to, but I just couldn’t. I slept it off that day, blamed it on the sleeping pills I took the night before."

He scoffs.

"Next day I thought I was better and went to work again, only to pass out right in front of my studio."

"No", you gasp, "that sounds awful."

"It was. Passing out isn’t fun. Next thing I know is I'm in the hospital, strapped to some machines and the doctors telling me that I had a major burnout and that I'm highly malnourished and dried out and that I was lucky for passing out when I did."

"Gosh, I’m sorry."

"Yeah, well…" he lowers his head and scoffs, "shit, I’m sorry. I know you’re probably thinking that I’m such a crybaby. You were in an actual accident and here I am, whining about working too much."

"No, don’t say that. I'm not like that. I would never want someone to feel as if their bad stuff is less bad compared to mine."

Yoongi sneaks a glance at you. He smiles softly, using the back of his hand to caress your cheek.

"You're so sweet ___, do you know that?" he whispers.

"You're sweet too", you say, feeling your cheeks burn up, "gosh, now I’m getting shy", you confess and giggle, hiding your face in his chest.

Yoongi smiles to himself, settling back against the truck with you in his arms. It sways from side to side, humming its mechanical song as it drives along the endless path back home.

"I'm glad you were here today", you break the silence, moving your head in a way that would allow you to look at the stars.

High above your heads they are the only roof keeping you covered. Tonight is such a clear night that you can see every single star in the universe. You wonder just how long it would take you to count all of them.

"Me too. I really loved today", Yoongi speaks softly.

"You always have to come to our barbeques from now on."

"If you want me there, I’ll gladly come."

"Of course I want you there", you sneak a glance up at him.

You can see his soft cheeks and his chin and his pouty lips and how nicely his button nose sits on his face. You can also see how his eyes are fixed on the stars and how every now and then they are blinking slowly.

"I'm always so happy when you’re somewhere too", you confess.

Yoongi visibly flusters, looking at you through the corners of his eyes.

"Me too", he whispers then hides his face behind his hand, "urgh god, now I’m getting shy."

You giggle, nuzzling into him.

"Sorry, I know this was so cringeworthy to say, but I just wanted to tell you. I really like spending time with you."

"Me too, ___", he whispers, closing his arm around you.

"Mhm nice", you sigh dreamily, "I'm a little cold, but it’s nice because we are sharing warmth."

"Yes, it’s so nice. I was really chilly too."

"It's crazy just how cold the nights can get, isn’t it? The days are always so hot and then at night you almost freeze your booty off."

He chuckles and agrees with a nod of his head.

"But that’s nice. Don’t you think?"

"Yes, it’s so nice", he says and caresses your arm.

You sigh happily and close your eyes. The truck sways so nicely, lulling you into relaxation. Yoongi smells nice. You can confidently say that he does now. This is the first time that you are close enough to him to actually smell his cologne and you like it a lot. It feels so weirdly familiar to you. Just like a lot of things with Yoongi. Oh so familiar, as if you had smelled his scent a million times before. You wonder if that is because he is supposed to be your other half. Maybe that is how it feels when you meet someone who is just right for you. That must be it. You found him and now you can confidently say that you like how he smells.

He also gives nice hugs.

And his body feels nice against yours. Not in a weird, creepy way, but in a snuggly, comforting way. It’s really, really nice to hold someone that way.

You probably did so before in your previous life, at least you hope you did, but you have no memory of it. It’s so very nice to experience it right now.

"Did you know that there are entire galaxies out there?" Yoongi breaks the silence.

"Mhm?" you hum, realising just how sleepy you became when his voice actually startles you.

"Did I just wake you?" Yoongi gasps.

"No, I was pretty close though."

"Sorry, then I'll keep my astronomy facts to myself", he whispers extra carefully.

"No, please tell me. It wouldn’t be good if I fell asleep on a truck right now."

"Are you sure?"

"Yep, tell me all the star facts you have."

“Okay so. Did you know that most stars you see are actually bigger than our sun?”

“Really?”

Yoongi nods his head, “they’re just really far away so they appear really small in comparison to our sun, but if you’d put them next to each other, the sun would look like a little dot next to them.”

“Wow, that’s so crazy to imagine. The sun’s so big and you’re telling me that stars are bigger?”

“Yep, they are.”

“Wow, so cool”, you whisper, “do you know how many stars there are? I think there are millions and millions of stars.”

“Probably, but I heard that we can only really see around three thousand on a clear and moonless night.”

“Only three thousand? I don’t believe that. Look at how many there are.”

“Yeah right?” he agrees, “I don’t believe that fact either. I think that there are at least three million stars in the universe.”

You nod your head, “I think so too. Maybe even four.”

“Yeah, maybe even four.”

You sigh happily as you try to find patterns in the starry sky. Every now and then one of the stars twinkles as if it was trying to greet you from far, far away.

“Do you know why stars twinkle?” you ask him.

“It’s actually not the star that twinkles, but it’s because the light has to go through our atmosphere. The atmosphere has different layers of density and because of that the light sorta bounces off of it and that makes the stars twinkle. If you’d be outside our atmosphere stars don’t twinkle.”

“Woah, you actually know?” you gasp, making him chuckle shyly.

“Yeah, I fell down a rabbit hole one night and looked up so many star facts.”

“That’s so cool”, settling closer into him, “thank you, Yoongi. I learned so much right now."

"I watched videos about them, that’s how I know."

"And I learned from you, that’s so cool."

"Yeah, it’s pretty cool", he says and grins.

You yawn, making Yoongi yawn right with you.

"You're getting me sleepy too", he says mid yawn, smacking his lips afterwards.

"Sorry, I know. It’s just that this is so relaxing."

"Right? The truck's swaying so much."

"Yeah and it’s nice to cuddle."

Yoongi sneaks a shy glance at you, realising that you have your eyes closed. He feels so giddy about the aspect of you labelling what you and him are doing as cuddling.

"I like cuddling. Do you think that I did it in my old life too?" you say.

"Yes."

"Yeah? You’re sure about it?"

"Yes, I’m sure you did lots of it."

You giggle, "gosh, I kinda wanna know if you’re really right", you look up at him, "who do you think I cuddled with?"

"Probably someone who loved you with all their heart", he says, looking at your lips.

"Oh dear", you have to look away in giddiness.

"And someone who would have picked the stars for you if you only you'd asked", he whispers.

"Okay now you’re just being silly", you say and laugh.

Yoongi stays silent.

"It doesn’t matter though, because I'm here now and I have my amazing life here and I have you and if someone really loved me so much that they would have picked the stars for me, then they would still be here, but they're not and that’s okay."

Yoongi tightens his arm around you, "I guess you’re right."

"It's really okay, you know? I wouldn’t want to give up this life even if it that meant I could go back in time and gain back my memories."

"Mhm."

"What's wrong? You really don’t like it when I talk about what happened to me, do you?"

"It just…it… it makes me sad", he confesses.

"Don't be, I’m not sad about it, so I forbid you to be sad in my stead."

Yoongi chuckles, "fine, I’ll try not to be sad."

"Good", you say and giggle, "gosh sorry Yoongi, let's not talk about it anymore. Do you have another star fact for me?"

"I don't think I do. I already told you all of them", he says, making you chuckle.

Everything he says makes you want to smile and laugh and be happy. He is so funny and nice and every word he speaks sounds like sweet honey to you. Listening to him makes you so, so happy.

"That's okay too. Then let’s just enjoy the silence", you mumble and snuggle closer, closing your eyes.

"Yeah okay, silence is nice too", he says quietly.

You open your eyes again when Seokjin bangs his hands on the truck.

Dizzy and confused, you sit up. Yoongi looks just as confused.

“Did you guys fall asleep right now?” Seokjin asks and laughs.

“Yeah, I guess”, your murmur, rubbing your sleepy eyes.

Seokjin laughs and then begins unloading your bikes.

“Well either way, we here and you guys gotta go”, he says, putting down Yoongi’s bike.

“I guess we do, damn Seokjin your truck’s amazing to nap on”, you say, holding his hand as he helps you get off.

“Don’t tell Tae that or he’ll feel encouraged to keep nappin’.”

You snicker, “I won’t tell.”

Seokjin helps Yoongi too, holding his hand tightly because the poor man is so droopy that Seokjin fears he might slip and fall if he wasn’t holding him.

“Thanks hyung”, Yoongi murmurs.

“Course, you guys go to sleep now. See you ‘round.”

“Yeah, see you soon. Thank you for the invite”, Yoongi says.

“Sure, I’m just glad you guys could come. We gotta do that again very soon.”

“Most definitely”, you agree.

Seokjin rounds the truck and gets back inside. He sticks his head outside and gives you a wave of his hand.

“Good night, you guys.”

“Good night”, you say, waving back.

Jimin sticks his head out as well, giving you a beaming smile.

“Sleep tight, you guys. See you Monday”, he says.

“See you, Jiminie.”

The truck drives off afterwards, purring quietly as it climbs the hill.

You turn to Yoongi once it disappears behind the hill. He is holding his bike, using it to keep up right.

“So we are basically old people”, you say and laugh.

His eyes, once focused on the hill, flit to you.

“Why? Cause we fell asleep?”

You nod your head, giggling so sweetly that Yoongi has to smile.

“I guess, we are”, he says.

You exchange a shy look. It makes you so nervous to look at him after what you just did. Falling asleep while cuddling. It feels like something so impossible to do now that there was distance between you and him again. Were you really that brave back then? And where is that bravery now that you are truly alone?

“So uhm, I guess we have to say goodbye now?” you say, fumbling with the handle of your bike.

“I guess”, Yoongi says, touching the side of his neck.

“I will, uhm…” you abandon your bike and step closer, placing your hand on his chest.

It’s now or never. You can’t go yet another night without a kiss. It would probably ruin you.

Yoongi lets out a shaky breath, looking at your lips with widened eyes.

"We're alone so I thought we could try again", you explain your reasoning.

"I, I see."

You move closer and Yoongi stays, even tilting his head to the side just slightly. It makes your body tingle and your heart flutter. Oh it’s actually happening.

Your eyes flutter close. Then.

“Wait”, he presses out and pulls back.

“Hm?” you blink rapidly, “did you not want me to kiss you?”

“No uhm”, he exhales shakily, cupping your face, “I’ve wanted to kiss you for a while I just-“, he begins trembling, “-I have to show you something.”

“Show me something? What could be more important right now than kissing under the moonlight?”

“Trust me, you’d want to know”, he says and takes your hand to lead you up the path to his cottage.

You abandon your bikes in his garden for now. You’ll get them later.

Yoongi unlocks his door, still holding your hand.

“Is this your way of seducing me?” you joke and giggle.

“Ha”, he laughs nervously, shaking his head.

“Well now I’m curious. Do you want to show me your lamps?”

“No, uhm you’ll see.”

He leads you inside, watching you shyly as you look around for a bit. The floors were all new, dark wood with a perfectly done polish. The walls were finished too, all the holes and cracks have been filled out and plastered over and a dark blue paintjob makes them look brand new. It was surprisingly well furnished too. Wood, all of them tainted in a dark brown. The living room was the first room you enter upon leaving your shoes by the door. A spacious couch invites you to relax and in one corner of the room a brown piano was waiting to be used. It was a little lighter in colour than the rest of the cottage, giving it a feeling of importance against all the other pieces of furniture. It must be important to Yoongi and well loved as well, judging by the cracks in the leather of his piano stool. He must have spent many hours in front of it, creating melodies which once hadn’t existed on this earth. The living room also housed a fireplace, red brick. It was turned off right now, but you can imagine how lovely it must be to snuggle up in front of it in the cold winter months.

“Ooh Yoongi it’s looking so cozy here”, you gasp, “wow I must say I’m impressed, I really didn’t think you would be so far already.”

“Yeah, uhm thank you. It’s still really unfinished upstairs.”

“Well, given that you’ve only been living here since April, I must say it’s still very impressive how far you are. Is the entire lower floor done already?”

He nods his head, fidgeting from one foot to the other.

“May I see?”

“Uhm…”

“Sorry, gosh I’m overstepping my welcome aren’t I?”

“No i-it’s not that, I just-“, he hesitates, studying your features, “___ I need to tell you something.”

“Okay? What is it?” you laugh, “gosh, you’re being so serious right now.”

“Please stay here, I’m going to get something.”

“Alright, do that”, you say, watching him hurry upstairs.

You furrow your brows, “he’s so weird all of a sudden”, you murmur.

You turn to the piano then, closing the distance between you and the instrument and opening the cover. The piano keys are wiped cleaned and yet there were imprints of time on some. You smile, playing the keys on which the marks of his fingers were the most prominent. It is wonderful to think that there are notes which sound sweeter than others to Yoongi.

The man of the hour clears his throat behind you, startling slightly.

“Oh!” you turn around, face heating up, “sorry I was just looking.”

“It’s fine”, he assures you.

Your eyes flit to the envelope in his fingers. He is fumbling with it and if your eyes weren’t deceiving you, his fingers were shaking the slightest bit.

“What’s that in your hand?” you ask him.

He lowers his eyes to it, twisting and turning it a few times. He takes a deep breath.

“Oh god”, he says and gulps audibly, “I’m gonna throw up.”

“What’s going on?”

He exhales loudly, bending forward, “okay, okay I can do this. Fuck”, his voice cuts off again as he coughs in nervousness.

He is worrying you deeply. You have never seen Yoongi so nervous. He looks close to passing out. His face is as pale as snow and his eyes are glassy.

“Are you okay?” you ask him.

Yoongi straightens up, shaking his head, “no. I uh, shit”, he exhales shakily, “___ I have to show you something. Please don’t hate me”, he chokes out, handing you the envelope.

“Yoongi don’t scare me, what the hell”, you murmur, staring at the blank envelope, “what am I going to see inside?”

You look into his eyes. He seems scared.

“Proof that I’m a bloody coward.”

“Okay?”

You look at the envelope again, reaching for the flap and opening it slowly. You pull a card free.

“Save the date”, you read and chuckle, “you’re not asking me to be your plus one on someone’s wedding, are you?”

He stays silent, biting on his thumb so harshly that he can already taste blood on his tongue. He should stop, but he can’t.

You open it.

You know now how a heart attack must feel like. How it must feel like to be punched so hard into the stomach that you can’t breathe.

“What the fuck is that?” you choke out, stomach twisting painfully.

You are staring back at yourself. You and Yoongi, holding hands and smiling for the picture. Your names are written next to the picture and one single date in early spring. It was dated nine years back.

“I’m sorry”, Yoongi chokes out with tears streaming down his face and his hand thrown over his mouth.

Your eyes meet.

“Is this some sick joke?”

“I’m sorry”, he sobs.

“What is this Yoongi?”

“I should have told you sooner.”

“What is this?!” you screech, shaking him by his shoulder, “what is this Yoongi?! Who the fuck are you?!”

“I’m sorry ___, I’m so fucking sorry”, he presses out and sobs, reaching for you to hold you but you shake him off. No, you push him away so hard that he stumbles and almost falls to the ground.

“Don’t come near me”, you spit.

Yoongi sobs squeakily, sinking into himself.

“This, this invitation what the fuck is this? Why am I on there? Why are you on there? Why is it dated nine years ago?”

“You married me on that day, that’s our wedding invitation. You chose the font”, he croaks.

“Holy fuck”, you stumble back, dropping the invitation, “you’re….my husband?”

“I’m sorry”, he croaks falling to his knees, “I’m so sorry.”

“Why would you do that to me? Why would you lie about knowing me?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Holy fuck I think I’m going to be sick”, you say, bending forward and gagging. Your eyes flit to the invitation and your smiling faces, “jesus fucking christ, holy fuck, fucking shit.”

“Please don’t hate me, I-I never wanted you any harm”, he pleads, folding his hands in front of his chest.

“You lied to me!” you scream, making him flinch, “you acted as if you didn’t know me while we, we had fuck knows how many years of memories! How could you do this to me?”

“I’m sorry”, he sobs.

“You knew about the accident, didn’t you?”

He says nothing.

“Didn’t you?!” you yell.

Yoongi flinches and nods his head, whimpering painfully.

You were wrong. This right here feels like you imagine a heart attack to feel like. True and utter betrayal feels like a heart attack.

“Holy fuck, you’re a psycho”, you choke out, stumbling back.

“No please don’t say that”, he begs, hiding his face behind his hands, “I’m so sorry. I wanted to tell you sooner but, but I was so scared that you’d hate me. I’m so sorry.”

You look at him. He seems broken and filled with honest regret. You can see that the guilt is pushing him down onto the floor, keeping him there with a painful grip around his neck. You can really see that and yet you can’t find it in your heart to forgive him.

“Don’t ever contact me again and don’t you dare come anywhere near me or my friends ever again”, you press out with your voice shaking in rage.

“I’m sorry”, he wails, raising his head only to see the door close behind you as you disappear into the night.

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