#banana milk did taste good though. shame i can’t have it if i want to live

[addelayse]

lore. i named my acnh island bananamilk but i have since developed allergies to bananas and milk.

#banana milk did taste good though. shame i can’t have it if i want to live

[purplesurveys]

1010

survey from diggitydoo

Have you ever felt a baby kick? Yes, when my mom was pregnant with my brother. What color pants/shorts are you wearing? I’m only wearing a duster gown; no shorts underneath. I just got it last night, actually - my mom wanted to donate clothes to victims of a recent fire incident in Manila and so she asked my sister and I to sort through our closets for clothes we were willing to give away. My sister ended up giving away a comfy-looking duster gown that she never even wore and even smelled brand new to boot. It ended up in my hands, ha. But apart from that we gave away a lot of stuff that aren’t old uniforms or costumes (which is what most people tend to ‘donate’, ugh), so we just hope they end up with people who really need them. When is the last time you did something truly fun, and what was it? Last night I went on our org’s Discord server and we played Jackbox games for around an hour or so. It was my first time to socialize again after around two months and I really, really needed that moment. I even met the org’s newest roster of applicants for this semester, which was neat. :) What was the scariest moment of your life? Men terrorizing me or near-car crashes I’ve had.

Have you ever heard of Leonard Cohen? The name is familiar, but that’s the most I know.

Pancakes or flapjacks? I guess pancakes, since I don’t even know what flapjacks are. What kind of computer are you on? It’s a laptop. Do you eat Chinese food? If so, what's your favorite dish? For sure. Pork buns or minced pork with eggplant. With century egg on the side, yum. What are you usually doing at midnight? Either passed out or desperately trying to sleep because I don’t want to lose any more hours of sleep and risk being cranky for the whole of the next day. Have you ever developed feelings for a friend, but you were already with someone? No. The worst thing that’s happened was being someone’s ball date (and unbeknownst to me, they apparently had feelings for me at the time) while I was already with someone. If so, how did it turn out? He figured it out by himself, which I still feel bad about. But the timing was super off and I just couldn’t find a moment to sit him down and set the record straight...ah well. It was just super complicated at the time. Give me your brief definition of love. My favorite love-related quote is “Love never says ‘I have done enough’” and for the longest time, that has been my guiding principle when it comes to it. Definitely a tad bit cheesy, but telling myself that over and over makes it easier to continue loving the people I care for and be patient with them when they’re being asses. Gab included, then and now. What is the most beautiful part of the human body, male or female? It differs for everyone but I’m a thigh girl through and through. What kind of shoes do you wear? Uh...various ones? I have sneakers, flats, heels, flip-flops, probably a couple more kinds that I can’t place at the moment. What is the worst thing you've ever done when you were really angry? Resorting to physical violence. I was a kid constantly exposed to violence in my old home, and at the time I genuinely thought that’s how most things were settled or pacified. I still feel like shit about it to this day, and my backstory isn’t an excuse at all; but the past is the past and I’ve been trying to make up for it by being a much more gentle angry person in the last few years. Are there any pills you take on a daily basis? If so, what? Nope. Do you like the smell of coconuts? For some reason I can’t stand anything coconut (which is a damn shame considering I’m Filipino) but I love dishes with heaps of coconut milk in them, like curry. That’s the one coconut-related thing I enjoy, but otherwise I’ve never learned to appreciate the taste and smell of buko juice, coconut shavings, coconut pies, and everything else coconut. What is the heaviest you think you can lift? From what my old PE class showed me, around 70 to 80 lbs. Do you take Tums? Idk what that is so I guess I don’t. Have you ever walked on a pier at the beach? I’m not sure if I’ve been to a pier before. I bet it feels wonderful and freeing and I’d love to visit one; but I also can’t keep myself from associating piers with the recurring image of Jennifer Connelly’s character standing on one from Requiem for a Dream. How about under one? No. At what age do you first remember feeling butterflies in your stomach around someone? Not sure if it was 11 or 12, but it was definitely one of those years. Do you feel that way around anyone now? Yeah, if they allowed me to see them. But I’m shut out now so I haven’t had that sensation in a while.

Do you ever talk to yourself or think deep thoughts while on the toilet? No. Do you ever sing to yourself? Sure. I’m sure most people do every once in a while. What is a sound that relaxes you? Ocean waves have never failed. How hard has it been to reach your main goal in life? ‘Main goal’ sounds so overwhelming; I make it a point to avoid one overarching goal and instead make little goals and plans here and there depending on where I am in life. Do you remember the song about hoes in different area codes? Never heard of it. What is your main heritage? Filipino. What kind of pickles do you prefer, if you like pickles? I hate pickles. What kind of cheese do you prefer, if you like cheese? Mozzarella and feta are my faves, but I love cheese and am willing to be adventurous when it comes to it. If you could have a sea creature as a pet, what would you want? Eh, they can stay in the sea where they can actually survive. I don’t exactly have the best track record when it comes to keeping fish as pets. How about a farm animal? Probably pig. So, do you have hoes in different area codes? No, and ew. What is the most annoying song you can think of that came out recently? Haven’t been exposed to a lot of new music lately and the songs I do get to hear on the radio whenever I drive are actually pretty good. This totally doesn’t answer your question but my favorites so far have been Birthday by Disclosure, Kehlani, and Syd; and Plain by Benee, Lily Allen, and Flo Milli. What is a song that you hate to admit you like? Any Kanye song I like. What inspires you to get off your bum and do something productive? Not wanting to go into another downward spiral. Do you ever use Urban Dictionary? Extremely rarely. I only do when there’s a new slang I’m completely unfamiliar with. Do you find the definitions on there to be generally funny or stupid? Stupid for the most part. I find them too immature or vulgar, but that’s one of the points of the website so I guess I’m just not in their target audience lol. What comes to your mind when you hear the word 'transformation'? Uh, the Transformer robots.

What was something you regularly played with as a child? My cousins’ toy soldiers.

Have you ever given in to peer pressure? Eh, a few times. If so, what did you do? I’ve been pulled to drinking sessions here and there when I really shouldn’t be drinking because I had an important test tomorrow or something else was happening the next day that was just as significant. What part of your body have you had the most problems with in your life? Teeth, I’m pretty sure. I’ve had braces, needed a tooth extracted, gotten a cavity, and gone through a severe toothache.

Do a lot of people check you out when you're in public? Idk I never look around because being aware of it would just freak me out and make me feel like I’m naked. What is a good name for a turtle? Would depend on their personality. And this applies to all kinds of pets, at least for me. I don’t decide on their names until I have a good grasp of their attitude. Can you imitate any accents well? If so, which one(s)? Stereotypical Filipino mom and valley girl. Do you like having your ear nibbled on? Sure. What makes a good kisser a good kisser? I’ve only kissed one person so I’m not the best judge for this; but I always like it when my lower lip is tugged or grazed on. How many times a year do you have a family thing? This is a little vague for me. Do you mean get-togethers? Giant-ass reunions? Movie nights? Game nights?  What are the best things to put in a smoothie? I only like one kind of smoothie and it’s sold by a local joint – and I think I’ve already shared this before but that smoothie of theirs that I like has “apple, banana, cinnamon, oats, coco sugar, chia seeds, greens, and soy milk,” according to their menu. So I guess those are the best ingredients for me, ha. Do you ever eat with your eyes closed and just focus on the taste? When I find something extremely delicious, yeah. What do you dislike most about where you live right now? For the most part I can’t wait to get out of suburban residential villages. I’d love to finally experience living in a condo in a super busy and active city. Has anyone ever given you a rose/roses? Yes.

Are you watching your weight? Not really. I’m trying to gain pounds though, if anything. I haven’t eaten much in the last two months. Have you ever become really good friends with someone you found online? I trust y’all with my life, so that’s one. Apart from Tumblr, the best friends I made were probably the people in the AJ/Punk fandom, back when I had a stan account on Twitter. I don’t remember most of their names now and we fizzled out pretty quickly when both parts of the ship left WWE, but I look back on that period with fondness. Those people made high school a lot easier for me. What makes your best friend your best friend? She doesn’t care whether I’m on top of the world with happiness or completely self-destructive and crying my eyes out; she has always been present. Do you have a drunk uncle? *rolls eyes* We don’t wanna open up that can of worms... Do you hear weird noises in your house at night? Nope. What is something you do that is generally more like something the opposite sex does? Based on personal experience and not to come off as sexist, but it’s liking wrestling. I have never met a girl in real life who has even the most remote interest in pro wrestling or can tell me who Hulk Hogan is. And the ones I’ve had discussions with - from shallow/casual to in-depth - have all been guys. Seeing girls who are into wrestling is like finding a rare Pokemon, at least in real life. What is the girliest thing you do, if you're a girl? Idk. What is the coolest tattoo you've ever seen? Probably the spork tattoo of Josh, a crew member from Good Mythical Morning. It’s just a line tattoo. Of a spork. On his arm. But he managed to make it so goddamn fascinating lmao; and apparently, as I learned just now, it has a pretty touching backstory to it too, which makes it a million times cooler. Have you ever created anything artistic that you're proud of? If so, what? I’ve never finished any of the crafts I bought. Never finished a coloring book page much less an entire coloring book, a painting, a gem painting...it’s something I’ll have to bring my butt to do one of these days. I can’t imagine how fulfilling it would feel. Do you only eat the middle of the oreo, if you eat oreos? I eat the whole thing but I honestly find Oreos too sweet and I’ve always much rather preferred Oreo-flavored stuff instead of the actual cookies.

Do you know anyone with a huge ego? My mom. If so, is there anything else about them you actually like? She’s fed me for 22 years and gave me an education, I guess. Though it’s something I appreciate more so than like. Have you ever used a racial slur, even jokingly? Probably as a dumb kid, when historical context wasn’t a thing to me yet. I still wince thinking about it, but I suppose what matters is being better and more responsible moving forward. Do you have any friends who are more like siblings to you? Angela and to some extent Andi. 

If so, what about them do you like most? They are both understanding when it comes to me - almost to a fault. What do you like on your hotdogs, if you eat hotdogs? When you say ‘hotdogs’ here, it refers to the sausages itself. The sandwich kind of hotdog isn’t super popular here. What is everyone else in your house doing right now? My siblings are still resting in their rooms; my dad is preparing for work, I think. What is the most money you've ever had at one time? Something like P10,000 or P15,000 when my mom needed me to pay for something in cash. How long do you think it would take you to run a mile? Idk, maybe 10 minutes. I won’t be fast, that’s for sure. Look down. What do you see? My legs and the pillow I’m sitting on. What is a subject that makes you uncomfortable? Right now, probably my failed relationship. I haven’t gotten to the sharing stage yet and remotely thinking about it gets my voice all shaky. What is a subject you can talk on and on about and not get sick of it? Paramore. What kind of mood were you in most of today? It’s only 7:52 AM. My only mood so far is just woke up. Has anyone ever walked in on you naked? Yeah. Because people in this damn house never knock. Tell me an inside joke you have with someone. The word ‘ariba.’ What is the worst thing someone could do to you emotionally? Break my trust. So simple but it packs a punch. What is the worst thing you've ever done to someone emotionally? Idk if I’ve ever been that aggressive. When I want to do something destructive towards someone I always end up asking what it would feel like if the action was done to me, and it’s always been enough to sway me away from doing the thing. How do you feel now about the first person you ever dated? Sad. How about the last person (your last ex)? Same person. What is the best invention ever invented? Air conditioners.

What is something that needs to be invented? Portable air conditioners. What always makes you burp? My burps come randomly. What are you doing tomorrow? It’s my last weekend before my new job, soooooooo...I’ll be bumming around for my last two days of freedom.

#survey #surveys

[goldenchildkatsuki]

WHITE FENCE, PURPLE ROOM

Kacchako Positivity Week Day 6: Ten Years Later

Summary: An epilogue of some sorts of 'Red bike, purple Bellflower' and 'White sand, blue ribbon'.

Writers note: I'm sorry but I can't give this universe a rest. I love writing the two of them in this environment and I would be lying if I didn't think about going further than this for a second but I think I'm going to leave it here. I have a lot of ideas for further chapters I think you can call it at this point, but this feels like a good note to end things on.

I recommend listening to the song: "Mothers" by Daughter.

Here's my contribution for the last day, day 6 of the Kacchako Positivity Week. It has been a lot of fun writing all these pieces and looking at all the pieces that other people made. They were all so good!

Thank you, Maddie [@quirk-y ] for organizing KPW and all the effort you put into it.

(see the end for notes)

Word count: 7.889 

AO3 link: (x)

Ochako sighed and jumped up to sit on the kitchen counter. "I don't see how that would hurt him."

"I understand, I don't think it's a big fucking deal either but we don't have a say in this."

Katsuki held up a bowl of blueberries and she nodded at it. He added it among other bowls of fruit on the counter and turned to the stove to add milk to a pot. Ochako watched him stir the contents in the pot in silence. She knew he wanted to put a hold on the argument, and all honesty, she did too. But she couldn't help herself and speak out on it.

"Maybe we do have a say in this. I feel like we're in a position to at least speak up on it," Ochako continued to argue.

Katsuki continued to stay silent and kept stirring the oatmeal. She watched him with arched eyebrows, finished preparing the meal and scooping it out of the pot into two bowls. He decorated the bowls of oatmeal with their favored fruits and then added two spoons. He took his breakfast and put his back against the fridge opposite Ochako.

He had gotten angry a couple of times before when Ochako kept on bringing up the same matters that he was convinced should not be discussed. She expected him to react the same after staying for silent for so long. Instead, he looked somber as he stirred the spoon through his oatmeal.

"Listen, Ochako. I think it's about time I say this," he began.

Ochako frowned as she blew onto her spoon full.

"Reiji is not our kid. If his parents don't want him to be anywhere near ice cream than we should respect that. We have no right to get involved with how his parents choose to raise him. Even though we have been there for him more than they have. Since the beginning, I told myself not to get too attached to him and you told me you had would do the same."  

She knew that this subject was going to be brought up eventually. Her own words continued to replay itself over and over in her head whenever the neighbor's son was at their house. A warning she gave herself and was determined to listen to became nothing but a bit of background noise in her head whenever she was around the six-year-old.

Katsuki exhaled deeply before he continued speaking. "I know it's hard, I know. But we save ourselves a lot of fucking heartache if we don't get too close to him."

The first emotion that sparked in Ochako was anger. His kind words were like gasoline to a smoldering fire and awakened something ugly inside of her, having an opposing effect to Katsuki's intention. Feelings of jealousy and unfairness molted together in white rage that she had to try desperately hard to contain inside of her. Despite how it made her feel, her husband was right. He had told her seconds ago that she once agreed with him and she would've been a fool to ignore the fact that she had been getting extremely attached to Reiji.

But couldn't he cut her some slack? Couldn't the world cut her some slack?

What if she didn't mind the heartache? What if she thought it was worth it? If she could love a child like it was her own, give them all the love they deserve, then she was sure that the satisfaction she would get from that could eventually heal any scar on the heart.

Ochako had been silent for some time. She knew it was starting to scare Katsuki but if she would open her mouth now she would say something she would regret. And frankly, she didn't have the energy to pretend everything was fine until Reiji had gone back to his home and mend things with him.

"You know I'm always on your team Ochako, but it had to be said. We'll give the topic a rest though since I can't afford you to get overwhelmed."

He pointed at her bowl with his spoon.

"Speaking of, can you at least try to finish your breakfast?"

Ochako's mouth set in a hard line. Sometimes it really didn't feel like they were on the same team. But Katsuki always proved to be in the end. In the end, he always cared for her, more than she could ask for him. Almost quite literally.

For almost a couple of weeks now Ochako had been infected by something that seemed to be like a summer flu. It was so typical for her to catch a cold during the summer. She described it as a cold, however, it had been holding her down more than a cold should and lasting longer than anyone would like it to last. But since it was something she never had before her immune system had to try it's hardest to fight the infection off. Katsuki however, had been getting more worried by the days and treating her like she had already hospitalized. Offering to do anything that required the slightest bit of energy and creating insanely nasty medicinal dishes and drinks to improve her health.

The man could easily replace his apron for a lab coat since every time he went into the kitchen it seemed like a mad professor performing some kind of experiment. The intentions were right but she didn't know how many mysterious servings she could take.

"This tastes like wet woodchips." Uraraka scrunched up her nose as she poked the tip of her tongue in the thick substance.

Bakugou played around with a piece of banana and frowned at his breakfast. "It's gluten free, what did you expect? But that's all we had since Reiji started coming over and I need to you to hold up until we can go to the doctors."

When the pair moved from the city to their small dream town they expected to only come across the benefits. Their expectations were met for the most part but unlike people that have lived in the town their whole lives they weren't used to almost every shop being closed on Sunday's or not being able to reach the town doctors during the weekends. It could be quite irritable, especially at times like these.

"We could just drive to the city, honey," Ochako muttered after attempting another few bites to then putting her bowl down next to her.

"And get you checked out by some person that isn't familiar with your body at all? No fucking way."

Katsuki emptied his oatmeal in the trash, chucked his spoon in the sink and shuddered at the aftertaste. Ochako sighed in relief and did the same. If she had forced herself to eat anymore she probably would have to make a run for the toilet.

Ochako slid herself off the counter and then perked up at the sound of the nails scratching the wooden floors. Soon after she heard barking come from the living room.

"Danuja!" Katsuki yelled and he stomped past her to the living room.

Before his feet, the dog slid across the floorboards and to the front door. There she trickled from one paw to another, looking like she was dancing and loudly barked looking up at the window in the door. Ochako came out of the kitchen and held back the overly excited rottweiler puppy with her leg as Katsuki opened the door.

He greeted the man and woman standing on the porch with a simple nod to then quickly squat down on to reach the eye level of the boy standing in between them. He fist bumped the child and took time to ask how he was doing. If he tried out his new pencils yet and if he had already drawn something with them. Reiji happily revealed the pencils and the notebook he had hidden behind his back and Katsuki pretended to be taken aback.

Ochako enjoyed seeing the two interact, she could genuinely watch them together for hours on end but someone had to attend to the parents, especially since they looked like they were eager to leave. The woman already stood a little further back than her husband, clinging onto his arm as she stared frightened at the little dog behind Uraraka's legs.

"Ochako, Katsuki! We couldn't thank you enough for being able to look after Reiji so last minute." Reiji's father began as Ochako met his eyes.

"This award at the country club is quite a big deal you see, we could not let this slide!" The woman added as she kept clinging to her husband's arm.

"Sounds…Amazing!"

Ochako found it harder with every conversation to stay civil with the two. Every time they interacted she came to realize how they would never truly click because their personalities and ideals were simply worlds apart.

The woman clapped her hands together. "You two should definitely come to the club with us one time!"

"Who would watch Reiji, then?" Katsuki mixed into the conversation. Ochako doubted that they noticed but to her, it was obvious that her husband was struggling with the same thing but unlike her, he was losing patience with the pair fast.

The parents busted out in obnoxious laughter and the man ruffled his son's hair.

"Ah, of course, of course! Like we said, couldn't thank you two enough!"

Danuja started barking at the laughter and Uraraka couldn't thank the dog enough because it made the woman jolt and drag her husband off the porch.

"A-alright then!" she squealed. "See you in the afternoon, Munchkin! Oh and Ochako, can you please keep that dog off the lawn? We've just planted some new flowers, would be a shame if he ruined it!"

Ochako waved the couple goodbye, "she will stay off your lawn, don't worry!"

She watched the two climb in their old timer and drive out of the street. A loud exhale left her body and she glanced at Reiji who luckily didn't seem to have taken note of the tension between the pair of adults. The boy just kept showing Bakugou what he had already drawn and pointed out what he liked the most about his work. Ochako compassionately laid a hand on his cheek, pinched it and let the boy in. She hadn't even closed the door yet or Dunaja zoomed between her legs and skipped over to Reiji. She jumped up at him, only reaching his knees and wagged her little tale as the boy give her the attention she wanted.

The dog managed to get Reiji on the floor and he cradled her in his lap, licking his face completely wet while he continued. Licked his face completely wet whilst Reiji continued to pet her and scratch her behind the ears.

"Ah ‘Nuja!" The child chirped between the dog's licks.

When the kid could barely get his words out Katsuki picked the Rottweiler up and held her under his arm.

"I swear she likes you more than she likes her owners, kiddo." Katsuki furrowed his brow as he looked at the heavily panting dog. "We're the ones feeding you as well," he mumbled.

Katsuki carried her into the living room and Ochako waited for Reiji to take off his shoes in the hall. He tugged off his little fancy shoes and let out a sigh of relief when he could finally stretch his toes. Ochako lent him her hand and helped him up. Reiji dusted off the dog hairs of his clothes and picked up his notebook and pencils.

"You've already drawn so much since the last time I saw you!"

Reiji flipped through his book again and showed Ochako what he had shown Katsuki minutes ago. He continued to explain the same exact same thing and she pretended she hadn't heard it before.

They started walking to the living room and saw Katsuki sitting on the couch with Danuja jumping against his chest. He pointed out the window.

"What's with the bike? Why is it laying against the fence?" Katsuki asked.

Reiji ran up to the couch and jumped on it next to him. He hung over the couch, pointing along with Katsuki.

"I was going to tell you!"

He turned to Katsuki and started blushing. "The bike is broken…I think. It makes a weird noise, the standard doesn't work and think one of the brakes doesn't work either."

The man sat up and looked from the kid to the bike and then back to the kid.

"How did you manage to do that?"

Reiji got even more flustered and started picking at the buttons of his shirt.

"I, erm, I tried to ride the bike without hands, like you said you used to do Mr. Bakugou. I thought I could do it but then I fell."

Ochako and Katsuki shared a look with each other. She crossed her arms and leaned against a chair.

"Is that so?" She kept glaring at her husband.

"I fell hard," Reiji raised his arms and showed his elbows that had more than one plaster on them and Katsuki hissed at the sight.

Ochako knew something like this was bound to happen soon. When Katsuki decided to give Reiji his first bike he couldn't give it without telling the stories that came with it. The afternoon he handed Reiji the bike they had sat on the front porch for hours. Bakugou told him everything from the moment he got his first bike to when he had to leave his bike behind since he could at one point drive everywhere he needed to go. Ochako sat on the swing on the porch and listened to every single story as if it was the first time hearing them and as if she wasn't there for most of the stories.

Katsuki mentioned skidding, leaning back so far he would be riding on one wheel, swerving on the roads to pester Ochako and of course -- riding his bike without hands. The more excited Reiji got the more excited the man himself got. Ochako tried to signal to him that he should maybe calm down a little but Katsuki was so engulfed in his storytelling he didn't notice her.

And now the inevitable happened. Ochako cringed at the thought of what Reiji's parents must've thought when he came back with his elbows scraped open and a broken bike. Knowing Reiji he probably knew how his parents would've reacted if he told the truth about what caused the fall and probably kept it hidden from them. Ochako's face softened at the thought.

"Oh Rei, well, that must've been a nasty fall but now you will remember to keep both hands on the handlebars," the woman tried to scold the boy.

"Or you can just get someone to sit on the back and yell ‘Two hands please!' every time you do so," Katsuki shrugged.

Ochako covered her mouth to not show the boys her smile.

"I'll fix the bike for you. Though it sounds like it probably needs more parts than what I have in the garage."

He looked down at Danuja who was still desperately trying to get his attention.

"I'll go and get them whilst I take this one on a walk. She has too much energy to be in the house right now." Katsuki put the dog on the floor and groaned as he stood up.

He couldn't even set a couple of steps without almost stepping on the dog who was somehow able to be more energized after she heard the word ‘walk'. Reiji followed Katsuki and tugged at his shirt before he disappeared into the hallway.

"Can I come?" He asked enthusiastically.

Katsuki was hesitant before answering. Reiji folded his hands upon seeing the doubt in his face and tried to make the same face Danuja made whenever they were eating at the dining table.

"I'm sorry Rei, but if you're around she's not going to behave much. Besides, I need someone to be the man of the house and take care of the Mrs. when I'm gone. She's really not doing so well remember?" Katsuki brushed the curly bangs out of Reiji's eyes as he kept pouting at him.

Ochako turned to them. "You say that as if I can't do a thing myself anymore," she argued.

"Hey, I know you're a kick-ass woman but we don't know what's going on with you right now. I would rather be safe than sorry alright?" Katsuki countered, rather harsh.

Reiji looked at the two adults with a confused look on his face. The kid was probably starting to think there was something very serious going on with her.

Reiji's goldfish had actually died not too long ago and the boy had been concerned about every little thing that seemed off about the body for weeks. Just having learned about ‘death' he thought that everything that was off meant it was near. Though they had managed to talk to the kid about it and calmed him down Ochako wouldn't be surprised if Reiji was on edge again.

She chose not to go further into the discussion with Katsuki and mouthed at Reiji that it was alright.

"I-I will stay here then! I'll take care of the house and Mrs. Bakugou!" The boy straightened his stance and saluted Katsuki like a soldier would greet his commanding officer. It made the man scoff.

Katsuki went to take Danuja's leash and with a bit of struggling put it around her collar. He then took his wallet off the cabinet in the hall and turned back around to face Ochako and Reiji.

"Now take it easy alright? When I come back we're going to do something awesome."

He quickly scooted towards Ochako, put a hand on her lower back and planted a kiss on her lips.

"Promise," Katsuki said before leaving the house.

Ochako smiled when Reiji crossed his arms and looked up at her. What a determined look on his face. He was really ready to take his assigned job seriously, huh? It looked like even if she suggested an activity for them to do that required the slightest bit of energy the little guy would try everything in his power to stop her.

"Come on Shortcake, let's go and draw in the reading area. I want to see your create more future museum pieces," she told him.

Reiji's face lit up and he ran back into the living room to get his pencils and book. He then followed her and climbed the small staircase to a platform which was the reading area. He laid down on the carpet and started tearing out a piece of paper out of his notebook, handed it to Ochako and gave her one of his pencils with it.

Ochako sat in the rocking chair and started coloring along with the child. As he was perfecting one of his drawing, she was casually doodling, mostly watching over Reiji's shoulder as he scribbled in silence, gradually surrounding himself entirely with all of his pencils. After deciding that she was even uninspired to doodle, Ochako laid her pencil down and leaned back in the rocking chair.

The boy was drawing Danuja, running in what seemed to be his front lawn. She tried to hold in a snicker when she noticed. To her, it would forever be interesting to see the mind of a child at work. And especially if it was a creative one like Reiji's. It was amusing to see him think hard about which colors to use and how to draw certain shapes. To see his little hand tighten harder around his pencils the more frustrated he became. To see him come up with an idea in the first place.

She would love to see him try to paint something one day. And she wondered how he would feel about clay. Was he too young to take lessons or would it be alright? How wonderful would it be if Reiji could be surrounded by peers that shared the same hobby? If there was something like that she wouldn't hesitate to put Reiji amongst that.

If he was her actual son, that was.

The words she shared with her husband came back to her.

The feelings of anger still smoldered inside of her but she managed to keep herself from exploding. Health issues and conflict with her husband aside, the last thing Ochako wanted was for Reiji to take note of this complicated situation that was going on around him. They were feelings she herself still had to figure out. A full grown adult. A six-year-old shouldn't even come close to wondering about things like that.

Ochako pulled her eyes off him and stared ahead of her. From where she was sitting she could just about look into one of the rooms they had left empty. Usually, the door stayed closed, she made sure it did.

She seriously resented the room.

The two had once decided that the room was going to be for their future child. When they first decided on dubbing that the baby room they spent most of their free time in there. They would sit on the floor, right underneath the windowsill and like old times talk about possible designs. Both of them couldn't wait to bring their ideas to life, none of them had thought that the room could stay empty.

After that revelation, they had only talked about the room twice.

Once, were Uraraka requested to keep the door closed.

The second time, being recent, where Bakugou told her he had been thinking about the room and wanted to do something with it. Not further elaborating why the sudden spark of inspiration.

After their talk and seeing the open door, it was clear to her now. It was really starting to bug him too. How hard it was to live with a gap in his life, which was unclear if it would ever fill itself. And though unclear, the odds looked like they were against him.

She had to do something. Unlike her, her husband didn't want to live with the pain. He wasn't fine with heartache and so choose different ways to cope. Arguably better ways. What kind of partner would she be if she didn't try to help him with that? After all the effort he put into voicing his troubles and making his emotions clear to her, it would be wrong for Ochako not to. It was undoubtedly going to be a strain on her mentality. But in the end, it would be fine. As she supported him, he would support her too. It's been like that for the longest time.

Ochako played with her wedding ring as she kept looking through the crack into the room.

The more she thought about it, the more benefits of changing the room came to her. The fact that she would be productive was a big factor. Ochako hadn't done much but resting for weeks and was itching to get back into feeling busy again. She was sure her little caretaker would forget his mission for a moment if she told him it was a creative project.

"Say Shortcake, if you could paint the walls of a room, what color would you paint them in?" Ochako asked Reiji.

The kid put down his pencil and turned on his back. He looked up at the ceiling and made weird faces as he thought.

"Purple," he eventually decided.

Ochako was a bit taken aback by the answer. She had no idea how Bakugou would feel about the clashing color in their interior, with their home almost being entirely white. But she was willing to trust Reiji's artistic judgment.

"Purple like the flowers outside."

She hissed at that. The purple like the bellflowers in the front garden was far from what she had in mind.

"Well, that's going to be the color of the walls in the spare room. If we have the paint for it."

The boy's eyes started gleaming and he sat up, excitedly clamping onto his two feet.

"I think we have to check the attic for that." Ochako thought out loud.

She stood up from the rocking chair and waved Reiji to come along with her. Together they walked upstairs and gently she ushered the boy to walk up the narrow and steep stairs to the attic. The first thing Ochako noticed was they really hadn't come up here that often. A lot of things were stockpiled on each other and catching dust which there was a lot of floating around in the air.

Reiji went out to explore the only part in the house he hasn't visited yet as Ochako stood against a post wondering where she left the buckets she had brought up there months ago. The boy actually managed to bump into an empty bucket before she even had a clue where to look and took out the first bucket he saw by the handle. Ochako walked over to him and inspected the color.

Just as she thought, white paint.

She suggested Reiji should explore more parts of the attic as she forced herself into a narrow area where she spotted more buckets and took them out.

Green paint, yellow paint, turquoise paint, coral paint.

All gender neutral colors, like she remembered correctly.

Wasn't there anything she could mix to come close to the purple? Turquoise and coral maybe?

With the two buckets in her hands, Ochako turned back to Reiji who she now noticed had been awfully quiet for a hot minute. He was sat in a corner, bent over himself.

"'l-love'?" Reiji attempted to read something.

Ochako cocked her head, put the buckets aside and walked over to him. He had a big, old picture book on his lap. His finger hovered above the words written on a Polaroid picture.

‘With my love.' It read.

When he noticed Ochako's shadow casting over him he threw his head back and stared at her with his big blue eyes.

"Is that you and Mr. Bakugou?" His little finger went to tap on her face on the picture.

She sat down next to him and nodded.

"Mr. Bakugou looks so small," Reiji giggled.

It was true that Katsuki had grown a lot. And it wasn't the only thing that had changed about him. Looking at the pictures you could perfectly see him drastically mature through the years.

Like the curious kid he was, Reiji asked for the story behind the pictures. Ochako was happy to tell him all of them, it had been a while since she had looked through the book as well. She pulled the book on her lap and told the boy about the first time they ever went to the beach. Telling him about the long journey, and how they took a break in front of this very house wishing for what they had now. She couldn't stop laughing when she told Reiji about how Katsuki destroyed the sandcastle and how they competed in the sandcastle building competition with a little boy called Kaito.

Every other time they went to the beach she also remembered perfectly. Every detail came back to her as soon as she glanced over the picture, even when a lot of them looked remotely the same. Ochako told Reiji about time Katsuki got stung by a jellyfish and how he managed to shout out every curse word under the sun. And about the time they went when the water was too cold, but them being hard headed teens went for a swim anyways and caught a cold that had them bedridden for days.

The swimming shorts that drifted away, the ‘broken' kite, the chase after the vengeful seagull, the first car drive and the night of the empty beach.

Every memory a good one, especially the latter was close to her heart.

"Was this when…?" Reiji gasped.

"Mhm!"

Ochako pointed at her ring.

That was the last thing she saw coming when they went to the beach that day. She actually didn't think it was going to be a fond memory at first. That day they left incredibly late because Katsuki slept in, to then rush Ochako as soon as she was able to wake him up. He was irritable and quick to lash out at the traffic on the road, but to only then act like that wasn't the case when Ochako asked what his deal was. When they arrived at the beach, all they really did was sit on their towels underneath an umbrella and have multiple discussions.

Katsuki said he felt too sick to go swimming and Ochako suggested going home. But the guy insisted on staying, trying to convince her it would most likely be over soon. The hours went by and he didn't feel any better at all which caused to get Ochako more concerned. Eventually, she managed to drag him to the first aid hut and get painkillers to soothe his aching stomach. After that they laid for hours on their towels, apologizing about things that came out wrong and then teasing each other and joking around to lighten the mood.

More hours went by, the beach got emptier and Katsuki started feeling worse despite the painkillers. Back she was to being worried again, and after a few stern words he caved and agreed on leaving. When they packed up, Katsuki wanted to take a picture, like always before he left, insisted he would take one of her since they were the only ones left on the beach.

His faint smile able to convince her to go with his plan. Katsuki took her to where the waves crashed and asked her to stand to face the sea, which she did. She waited to hear the click of the Polaroid camera, to see the flash glisten in the water, but neither of those seemed to come.

When Ochako turned around she saw him, the big lump of nerves, with one knee in the sand and a small box in one hand, and that's when he snapped the picture.

She thought back to his welled up eyes.

"As if I wasn't going to say ‘yes'," Ochako laughed along with Reiji who had a good time imaging Katsuki as nervous as he was that day.

They continued to flip through the book and felt a lump swell up in her throat as she saw the wedding invitation.

"Woah! Did Mr. Bakugou draw this?"

She didn't think it would still be able to make her feel emotional to this day. But seeing the signature alone made her swallow down.

"No, a wonderful woman we met when were little drew this. She was a really good artist."

The card was a smaller version of the drawing Suzuki gave Ochako the first time she went to the beach with Katsuki. The invites were nearly not as beautiful as the original but still, her talent and hard work managed to shine. Ochako could remember how over the moon Suzuki was when they told her about the engagement and using her drawing for the invite. The woman cried tears of joy and signed that she was forever grateful for appreciating her art as they did.

Days after the wedding, she passed away in her sleep. Peacefully in the comfort of her rocking chair outside the home. Ochako who had started working at the home during college was the one who found her. Suzuki had a smile on her face, the fondest smile she had ever shown.

It was so hard to believe that the woman she was swaying with at her reception was sitting there, lifeless right in front of her eyes.

Suzuki had told her that she wasn't afraid to pass. That she actually wanted to pass. That after witnessing Ochako and Katsuki get married that she was convinced she had experienced every good thing the world had to offer. She had experienced, rejoice, reconciliation, redemption, and love that she knew would last a lifetime. She was ready for peace.

Ochako managed to make the conversation lighthearted, saying that by how strong she had been going it might take a while. She gave Suzuki years, but in it the end it was only four days.

Reiji sensed she was having a hard time to talk about the wedding and crept closer to her. He had sympathy written all over his face as he paid his full attention to Ochako's story. When she paused to regain her composure Reiji tried to fill the silence by commenting on the pictures.

Complimenting her dress, stating how shocked he was that there were so many plants, chirping that the fairy lights looked really pretty.

"It looks like Mr. Bakugou wasn't a good dancer. Did he step on your toes a lot?" The boy eventually managed to make Ochako laugh.

"He practiced really hard so he wouldn't do that! In the end, he did step on my toes once, but he didn't notice and I never told him," she winked.

They flipped through the book some more and came across a picture of the two of them in front of the house they lived in now. They stood in front of the white fence, Ochako with her arms around Katsuki as he looked at the silver key she was holding.

Building the house was a journey and a half. At Katsuki's graduation party his father revealed that he had actually bought them the plot of land years ago, convinced that the pair was going to last and wanted to help with their dream. It was the second time she had seen her partner cry actual tears of joy. The morning after the party Katsuki didn't waste any time and got in contact with the companies he made himself familiar with and made a name at to help him with building the house. From then on he spent almost every second he had on the project.

It ended up looking very different from his very first sketch he gifted Ochako on her seventeenth birthday. But as the years went by their taste changed, and so did Katsuki's art style. He also was more knowledgeable now and saw the importance in matters they didn't even think twice about when they were teenagers.

A lot of effort went into this. A lot of late nights full of frustration and neglect of health. Ochako pulled some weight off his shoulders by fully getting herself involved with the interior design. Katsuki played the yes-man and practically agreed to every stylistic choice Ochako had in mind. Though it was very much less frustrating than building the actual house it turned out it was still stressful styling the whole house, and that's why she stopped doing so and eventually left the rest to Katsuki.

Reiji slid his finger over the picture. "Why is Mr. Bakugou's hand on your belly?"

Ochako had tried her hardest to ignore that part of the picture. But now that Reiji had pointed it out she felt like she had to speak up about it.

"Because there was a baby in my belly at the time..." She carefully explained.

Aiming to leave it at that Ochako turned the page, only to be confronted by the picture of an ultrasound. She crossed her legs tighter together and held in a bit of her breath when she saw the boy's finger sliding over to the picture.

"Is this the baby?" He asked as he frowned at the black and white snapshot.

Ochako could only bring herself to nod.

"But where is the baby now?" Reiji pushed.

This was not something she could brush off. A curious child like him would keep pushing, not having exactly understood yet that this is a subject that comes close to heart. The more he would keep fishing for answers the more it would hurt her. She knew the strain of telling him would be less than not speaking about it.

How could she even begin to explain? This was not about losing a goldfish, this was about losing one of the things she cherished the most.

Ochako was careful to choose her words. "The baby stayed a very tiny bean. A bean that wouldn't sprout."

It was the most child-friendly why she could think of explaining a miscarriage to a six-year-old.

Thinking of it alone was draining to her. She didn't have a lot of energy, to begin with. But as long as Reiji kept asking questions, she would try to her best to answer.

Even though it hurt her so, even if she felt like the scars were far from mending now.

Reiji put his small hand on Ochako stomach and she dug her teeth in the delicate flesh of her lip, trying hard to hold back tears.

"No Shortcake, the bean is not there anymore..." She whispered as she combed her fingers through his soft, dark strands.

"Can't you make another baby?" He then asked as he kept his hand on her stomach.

Ochako couldn't answer that question because she didn't know herself. After the miscarriage, Katsuki and her were obviously beyond devastated. The house had never been so quiet after that afternoon they found out. Ochako was the first one to suggest that they shouldn't try again. Determined to fulfill their dream of being parents one day, they kept trying.

And trying.

And trying.

But their attempts were in vain.

Having no clue what they were doing wrong, they visited their doctor. Who then told them that Ochako most likely had underlying medical issues. If they wanted to find out for sure they had to make another appointment.

The appointment was never made.

Too scared to find out if she was infertile she avoided the doctors. Katsuki had tried to convince her a couple of times. Had even suggested to call the doctors himself.

That led to a broken house phone, a dent in the wooden floor and in one of the walls.

It was her body, she told Katsuki. He had no say in the matter whatsoever, she claimed.

He was in perfect health. She wasn't.

If she went back to the doctors she might have to live with the guilt of not being able to provide children and complete the perfect picture they both wanted so badly.

What did he have to feel guilty about?

For the first time since they lived together, they didn't sleep in the same bed.

The morning after Ochako woke up seeing that Katsuki was plastering the dent in the wall. They told each other good morning and never spoke of the appointment from that day onwards.

"I don't think so," Ochako breathed.

"But you would make a very good mommy and Mr. Bakugou would make a very good daddy."

"I wish that you saying that was enough for it to happen..." She felt a tear running down her cheek and quickly tried to wipe it away before it rolled off her face.

Ochako put an arm around Reiji and pulled him close to her chest. She put a hand on his head and left a kiss on his crown as she let a few more tears run down her face. His hand that was on her stomach wrapped itself around her waist and scrunched up the fabric of her shirt that was hanging loosely off her back.

"Don't be sad Ms. Bakugou. I meant it!" He mumbled underneath her.  

"I know."

The woman sniffled and kissed his crown again.

Children were too good for this world.

Scared she was going to smother him, Ochako loosened her grip and he sat up again. Lightly she rubbed the aching points on her chest.

The poor boy's eyes were glossy as well. With the little energy, she had left she forced herself to smile at him.

"Let's go and try to paint the room purple alright?" She croaked.

Ochako took closed the book and stood up to get the buckets. She picked up the turquoise and coral paint. Sh left Reiji sitting with the book as she looked for brushes.

She waved him over when she collected all the necessities and went back down a floor. She went into the master bedroom to fetch two old dress shirts of Katsuki's. One she threw over Reiji. As Ochako buttoned him up and rolled up his sleeves she asked him to go put the paint tools downstairs whilst she changed. He nodded and took the two buckets and brushes downstairs with his shirt dragging across the floor.

Ochako opened the closet again and fetched one of her denim shorts she didn't wear anymore out of a nook of the closet. She pulled down her jeans and noticed that she had dirtied her underwear a little bit.

Great.

Though she wouldn't constantly get reminded of failed attempts by not keeping track of her menstrual cycle, it did mean that she was constantly getting surprised. Often at the worst of times. Like right now, right when she wanted to get busy.

But it was good her period finally came around. It explained why she was so tired and the heavy emotions that unexpectedly switched every now and then. Now that she kept thinking about it, it did explain practically every symptom that had been bugging her.

Slowly she lowered her panties and cringed at the few spots of blood. It made her feel a little queasy. Ochako groaned and threw the panties next to the laundry basket. She took another pair and put it on along with the shorts.

She washed her hands in the kitchen before meeting Reiji who stood in front of the crack into the room. She dried her hands on the shirt and pushed the door open. Back again that queasy feeling was. Now that she knew what was going on with her body every symptom seemed to hit her much harder than before. Add that with the unpleasant sensations the room gave her and she felt as sickly as she did in the morning.

Ochako sat down puffing out little bits of air and Reiji immediately came wagging to her side with a brush in his hand, aiming to help her. She waved him off, gesturing that she was fine and opened the turquoise paint bucket. With the brush in her hand, she hovered over it.

This was it.

The white walls were finally going to get a color.

The room was finally going to have meaning.

"What kind of room do you want this to be?" She asked Reiji.

His hand went on his chin and he hummed. "A room that makes you happy." He came up with.

What that exactly meant, Ochako didn't know but she couldn't deny that it was a good idea.

A room that made her happy.

Maybe after the walls were colored she knew what would have to be in it for the room to make her ‘happy'. But that meant she had to actually lower her brush into the paint.

Her hand didn't allow it. It refused to move its muscles the way she commanded them.

She felt herself getting lightheaded from staring into the bucket for too long. Her head was spinning and her stomach turning, nausea now getting extremely serious. So serious that she couldn't stay in the room for much longer. The first wave was making its way up her throat when Ochako threw her brush down and stood up. She covered her mouth and rushed to the upstairs bathroom so that Reiji couldn't hear.

Almost missing the toilet bowl Ochako vomited the contents of her stomach into the toilet bowl. She coughed between waves of vomiting and dry heaved. Messily she tried to hold her hair out of her face and keep herself from sinking deeper into the bowl. When the waves of pressure took longer to come she swallowed back the spit the was hanging from her lips and dried her eyes. The cold of the tiles felt horrible against her heated up skin and sent shivers down her spine. Desperately she tried to get herself off the floor but she had been completely weakened.

Something really wasn't right. Only now she realized that Katsuki's concern, how over the top it may have been, was fair.

Ochako tried to raise herself off the ground again and turned around to search for the ridge of the sink. Her eyes traveled downwards to the cabinets underneath the sinks. Her hand that had almost reached the ridge made its way to one of the golden knobs of the cabinet instead. Her hand gripped one knob tightly and turned it to the right.

Click.

"Danuja for fuck's sake, I thought you would be tired by now!" Clumsily Katsuki tried to fish the key of the front door out of his pocket as he got weighed down by multiple plastic bags and dragged off the porch by the still overly excited puppy.

After missing the keyhole a couple of times Katsuki managed to unlock the door. Immediately the dog zoomed passed him, running into the house looking for her other owner. With a bit of grumbling, he threw down the bags and stretched his arms.

How long was it going to take for that Rottweiler to become so lazy that it would think five minutes around the block was enough for the day?

Walking around with the dog this excited was an exercise he wasn't that fond of. Something that he couldn't pull off alone at least.

Maybe he should've let Reiji come. Now that he thought about it he was sure Ochako would have been fine on her own.

Just before he wanted to call out for them Danuja came running out of the spare room with Reiji. He was wearing one of his old dress shirts and letting the sleeves and the bottom drag across the floor. The dog chewed on one of the cuffs as the boy walked up to Katsuki. The man didn't know what to think of this sight and scratched his head.

"Rei, what are you wearing? And whe-?"

"I don't need the bike anymore," Reiji casually interrupted him.

Katsuki blinked at him and the kid simply stared back at him with his innocent eyes.

"What? Why? I just went out and bought the things to fix the bike. Couldn't you have told me sooner?"

"You can fix the bike, I'm only saying I don't need it anymore," the six-year-old elaborated.

Katsuki scoffed. "What are you…"

His attention then went to the creaking of one of the doors. He saw his wife stepping out of the spare room. Now more confused than ever he lost his words.

Why was she wearing an old dress shirt as well, why was she in the spare room, why did she look even sicker than before?

"Ochako, what is…"

A smile appeared on her face, a smile brighter than he had seen in days. From behind her back, she pulled out a small thin stick.

A pregnancy test.

Katsuki gasped, made his way to her and cupped her face.

"A-a-are you sure?!" He yelled.

She held up her other hand and showed three other tests that all showed the same result.

"I'm pretty positive."

Writers note:

Reiji, meaning: courteous child; a well-mannered baby; kind and well behaved. Danuja, meaning: knight, a ruler. The first child, a girl, Bakugou Sumire, meaning: purple, flower. The second child, a girl, Bakugou Seika, meaning: pure summer. The third child, a boy, Bakugou Katsuro, meaning: the victory of the son.

Beta reader: @kyuubaee  

#kacchakopositivityweek #bnha #kacchako #bnha kacchako #kacchaco #bakuraka #bakugou x uraraka #uraraka x bakugou #kacchako fic #kacchako fanfic #kacchako fanfiction #bakugou #bakugou katsuki #uraraka #uraraka ochako #kacchako positivity week day 6 #kpw #kpw day 6 #boku no hero #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero acadmeia #jj writes

[xswestallen]

‘Morning After’ Pancakes

WestAllen oneshot      Rated M     1896 words

Summary: Barry and Iris make breakfast together. Set early on in their romantic relationship, before they move into the loft together.

A/N: Just a fluffy oneshot I wrote real quick. Hope you enjoy!

“Is that the sun?” Iris asked, rolling over in bed to look out the window.

“It is.” Barry said, rubbing his neck. “I think we stayed up all night.”

Iris laughed. “I didn’t even notice the time.”

Barry blushed. “Me neither.”

Iris could tell Barry wanted to say more, the words were on the tip of his tongue, and she was determined to hear them. Iris put her finger on Barry’s bottom lip and dragged it down. He moved forward and kissed her lips. Not wanting to get distracted by Barry’s velvet, tender kiss, Iris put a hand on his pec and pushed him off her.

“You were going to say something, but then you stopped yourself. What was it?”

Barry smiled in embarrassment. He hid his grin with the bed sheet.

Iris pulled the sheet away. Barry wrestled her down and pressed her body into the mattress, concealing his face in the pillow beside her head.

“Come on!” Iris insisted. “Please tell me!”

Barry shook his head. Iris could only see his wavy brown locks shaking back and forth. She giggled at how one piece stuck straight up in the air.

“Tell me what’s so funny first.” Barry said, lifting his head up and looking at Iris now that the rose hue had faded from his cheeks.

“Your hair.” Iris told him. She reached out to smooth it, but Barry’s hair was even more stubborn than his personality.

“You’re not used to seeing me first thing in the morning. I usually put some gel in it before I go out.”

“No, I remembered how your hair would always look like this is the morning back when we shared a bathroom at my dad’s house.”

Barry smirked. “But, you’re not used to laying next to me in bed with hair like this.”

“I can definitely get used to it though.” Iris teased.

Iris and Barry had officially started a few weeks ago. Thing were going well. Iris was really happy, happier than she’d ever been. Transition from friendship to something more had been easier than Iris expected. While going on a first date with someone she knew she was already in love with was kind of awkward, the rest came instinctively. It felt natural. It felt like their friendship always had: comforting, fun, safe, but even better now that they didn’t have to hold back their shows of affection or their deepest feelings.

Barry had spent the night at Iris’ apartment (again). They went to bed around midnight after watching a movie, but apparently never went to sleep. Iris remembered putting on her red pj’s and Barry remarking how red is his favorite color. He slid her pj’s off and they made love.

After that, Iris remembered snuggling against Barry’s chest as they talked about movies. Barry told her how he used to imagine himself doing big romantic gestures for Iris like guys in romantic films do for their love interests. He described one day when they were in college, and Iris called him to tell him about the horrible day she’d had, that made Barry consider buying every peony flower in Central City, filling the field outside her dormitory with them, and surprising her, like the protagonist in Big Fish does. That lead to them making love again. Iris lost track of the conversations and the number of times she came after that point.

“Come on!” Barry said, giving Iris a few light spanks on her butt. “I’m hungry. Let’s make breakfast.” He hopped out of the bed and stretched. Iris admired the view of his muscles flexing.

“I’m feeling like pancakes.” He said as he put a pair of CCPD sweatpants on.

“Mmm.” Iris hummed. She was still laying in the same spot in bed.

“Iris! Come on!”

“Babe!” Iris scoffed. “I can’t up. I don’t think I can walk.”

She batted her eyes at Barry. He should understand why her legs felt like jelly and her center was sore, he was the reason for it. Iris slowly and seductivly moved her hand down her breast, stomach, and pelvis. She kicked the sheet off her so that Barry could see her hand continue to travel to her vulva, which she gently massaged with a feather light touch.

“It felt SO good.” Iris moaned. “But, I think you broke me.”

Barry leaned over Iris in bed. His big arms supporting himself as he lowered his lips to hers. When they touched, Iris felt a spark of electricity as strong as the ones she felt that night in Star Labs when Barry was in a coma and the night on the bridge when she found out Barry is The Flash. Now, instead of surprising her, it excited her. Iris felt her entire body tingle. She moved her hands across Barry’s back, digging her nails into his skin as he deepened their kiss.

All of a sudden, Barry moved away. He was equally breathless as Iris. They looked at each other, dumb smiling lighting up their faces.

“I want to feel you again, be inside you again, make you cum again. But, I really am hungry. Let’s eat first.” Barry straightened up and held out his hand to help Iris out of bed.

“Uh, I wasn’t kidding about the not being able to walk thing.” Iris informed him. She flopped her leg around to show how weak it was.

Barry smiled. “Then I’ll carry you.”

Iris didn’t think he meant it, but Barry put his arms under Iris’ back and knees. He lifted her out of bed and held her, bridal style, in his arm. Iris linked her arms around him for extra support. For a minute, Barry just stood there holding her, gazing at her like she was the most precious thing in the world.

“Don’t you want to go to the kitchen?” Iris whispered. “I thought you were hungry.”

“I am. I just wanted to slow down and take in the moment.”

Iris caressed Barry’s cheek. “That’s ok.”

He leaned into her touch and closed his eyes. Iris pressed a soft kiss to his neck.

“Barry, you don’t have to run when you’re with me.”

Barry smiled. He opened his eyes and walked with Iris into the kitchen at a normal human speed.

Iris’ kitchen was small, consisting of only one wall of counter space and an island that doubled as a table. iris didn’t mind the tight squeeze since she didn’t do much cooking in it. When she was cooking, it was usually at her dad’s house. The small space in the kitchen meant that if Barry and Iris were going to cook together this morning, they’d be very close, which made Iris all the more excited to meet some pancakes.

Barry sat Iris down on a barstool at the island. When hit with a 200 mile per hour wind Barry created with his movement, Iris’ hair blew in her face, but she was still able to see the red streak moving around her kitchen. A second later, Barry had all the ingredients for pancakes mixed together in a bowl, chopped fruits and chocolate chips on the side, and a greased pan on the stove.

“Do you want bananas, blueberries, strawberries, or chocolate ships?” Barry asked, gesturing to the various options.

“Bananas and chocolate chips.” Iris requested.

“Coming right up!”

Barry poured the extra ingredients into the bowl and moved his arm at super speed to mix it.

“Did you remember to add the milk?” Iris asked.

Barry nodded.

“And,” Iris continued. “You used flour instead of baking soda, right?”

“Hey, I only did that one time.” Barry said defensively.

“Yeah, the only time you ever made pancakes!”

“That was 10 years ago. I’ve made pancakes for myself since then?”

Iris looked skeptically at him. “Putting a frozen Eggo pancake in the toaster doesn’t count.”

Barry nudged her with his arm. He stopped mixing and poured the batter onto the pan. “You’ll see when your tasting the proof. I’m a much better cook than I was as a teenager.”

“Oh?”

“When I went away to college and had to live without your and Joe’s cooking, I forced myself to learn how to cook so I wouldn’t have a 100% ramen noodle diet.” Barry explained. He slid the pancake around the pan before flicking it into the air. When it landed safely, he grinned.

Iris got up to make some coffee with her French press. She didn’t need to ask Barry how he liked his, because she was still so used to making it for him after working at Jitters.

“Viola!” Barry cheered. He passed a plate with a pancake on it to Iris. “Honey, maple syrup, or whipped creamed?”

“Well, honey is the traditional pet name for a lover. But, I like the sound the sound of maple syrup.” Iris joked.

Barry rolled his eyes. “Haha cute. You better not ever call me whipped cream.”

Iris took a bite of the pancake. Her eyes widened and the world froze.

“Oh my god!”

Barry looked smug. “Good, isn’t it?”

“So good!” Iris mumbled as she took another bite.

Barry threw his fists in the air.

A realization hit Iris. She put the plate down glared at Barry.

“Hey, wait a second.”

Barry raised his brows.

“You learned how to cook but you never told me or my dad till now?!”

Barry’s grin fell. His eyes diverted to the floor. He looked guilty.

“I uh- Forgot to mention it.” He squeaked.

Iris didn’t buy it. “You were just getting out of having to make dinner for us one night a week!”

Barry became very focused on flipping the pancake.

“Shame on you, Bartholomew!” Iris scolded. “If you didn’t look so cute making pancakes shirtless, I’d be really mad.”

Barry smiled again. Iris could see his body relax.

“Here,” Iris offered Barry a forkful of pancake. “Enjoy your culinary genius.”

Barry opened his mouth and Iris fed him. The pancake was so drenched in syrup, that some ran out of Barry’s mouth and dribbled onto his chest.

When Barry reached for a paper towel, Iris stopped him.

“I’ll get that.”

She used her finger to wipe the spill of Barry’s chest, then sucked the syrup off her finger. The whole time, Iris made eye contact with Barry. As she took her flinger out of her mouth, she made a ‘pop’ sound.

Barry grabbed Iris by the waist and pushed her up against the cabinets, kissing her with urgency. Iris felt his dick starting to harden against her inner thigh as they kissed. As much as Iris wanted to keep going, she was now thinking Barry’s original plan was better. She slipped out of his arms and went back to cooking the pancakes.

Barry looked at her in confusion.

“Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.” Iris said. “And, you’re going to need a lot of energy for the day we have planned. You had no trouble going all night, but I don’t want to drop your blood sugar.”

Barry sighed, but helped finish cooking the pancakes.

“These are really good.” Iris reiterated. “You have to make them for me more often. Please?”

“Ok.” Barry agreed. He stroked her hair and looked lovingly at her. “If you keeping having me over for the night, I’ll make you pancakes every morning!”

Iris smirked. “That’s a win win!”

#westallen #westallen fic #westallen fanfiction #westallen fluff #westallen dating #westallen smut #barry allen x iris west #barry x iris #iris x barry #the flash fanfiction #westallen oneshot #westallen drabble #barry allen #iris west #iris west-allen #iris west allen

[pinksausageduo]

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 1K+

IM SCREAMING WTF YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING genuinely can’t believe i have more than 1000 of you actually liking my blog to the point of following me??!!! I have really bad updates LIKE REALLY BAD like for 2 and half months i’ve been on tumblr i’ve probably only been posting for 1 month and a bit. AND THE FACT YOU STILL ALL LIKE MY WRITINGS AND FOLLOW ME IS CRAZY!! i seriously mean it when i absolutely adore each and everyone of you following my blog like i love you guys so so much. and please don’t be afraid to ever talk to me whether it’s on anon or message whether it’s about how annoying your life is, ranting, my writing, advice, questions, literally anything. i just love you guys sooooo much like wow i never even expected more than 100 followers like i’m mind blown.

so since it is a milestone and usually most blogs do something, i did prepare a present for my followers and another one for my mutuals because i love you all.

FOR MY FOLLOWERS: A NEW SERIES!!!!!

i know i have still my enemies to lovers series that i need to complete and i will do that but there will be a new series and YOU GUYS GET TO CHOOSE which one I write first either;

Heirs 

located in an expensive private school, wanna one is known as the Heirs. they’re all extremely rich, good looking, talented and basically the kings of the school. each guy will have a girl that catches their eye, those girls will be you! from the quick witted and sassy scholarship student to the extremely rich ice princess who no one wants to even approach to the shy sweet nobody, one member will fall for you. choose to find out!

so will you choose the heirs??

Bodyguards

wanna one is a team of bodyguards assigned to people who need protection. over the years each and every one of them finds themselves falling for someone on the job. but falling in love isn’t part of the job or is it? they’ll fall for you! from the president’s daughter to another intelligence agency’s spy to even a princess, one member will fall for you. choose to find out!

so will you choose the bodyguards??

HOW TO CHOOSE

message me by kkt or tumblr

comment below

reblog with which one

choose in poll : https://goo.gl/forms/G4GrlZEfOPL30jnP2

CHOOSING WILL CLOSE IN AROUND 2 WEEKS ON 11/11/17 

please vote!!! i’ll love you all forever if you do!!!! 

FOR MY MUTUALS/PEOPLE I ADMIRE & FOLLOW: FOLLOW FOREVER/RECS/DESCRIPTION

WANT TO GIVE OUT A HUGE SHOUTOUT TO MY MUTUALS AS WELL AND IT’LL BE KINDA A FOLLOW FOREVER/RECS (it’ll be long asf (like REALLY long) so i’ll put it under keep reading) this will be in all three person sorry :( 

EVERYONG: i love y'all sm we all so so crazy and we occasionally talk about writing but eh it’s really just a mess but making our gc was one of the best decisions i made on tumblr AND IM SO SORRY if i don’t have you down below but i’m giving you all my love and appreciation rn here!!! BUT JUST LOVE YOU ALL!!

FIRST OF ALL SHOUTOUT TO DIAMOND @woojiniee FOR ENCOURAGING ME TO START THIS BLOG I WOULDN’T BE HERE WITHOUT YOU. lol it’s weird how my blog started from helping you w your english homework on harry potter lmao. i genuinely love you so so much and i admire you, your works and your blog and just thank you for everything!

ALSO A HUGE SHOUTOUT TO JAS @perkwoojin!!!! MY ABSOLUTE LOVE AND MY BEST FRIEND!! jas you’ve been here for me whether it’s irl problems or tumblr problems and you’ve never judged me for anything i’ve done. you are so so so special to me and i just love you soooo much i genuinely can’t imagine not meeting you on tumblr. we hit it off right from the start and we’ve only gotten closer. while the time difference may be annoying we still talk often and just thank you so much for always being there for me, love you loads!!!

MY SENPAIS (the people who inspired me to write and start this blog, i would literally check your blog for updates everyday before starting this blog) :

@imagineproduce101 genuinely think carina is the queen of writing in the pd101/wanna one fandom, she’s blessed us with so many fics on such a regular basis i’ve never talked to you personally and you probs have no idea who i am but just want to say thank you so much for inspiring me to write, your fics always made me feel so soft and fluffy i wanted to make other people feel that way so thank you!!! 

fic recs: rivals (pleaseee do pt 2), what are you waiting for, let me love you, banana milk love, red bull, new beginnings, all of mafia aus, all of hp aus, all of vampire aus 

@woojiniee i’ve already mentioned diamond^ but gonna mention her again cause she is one of my senpais LITERALLY SOOOO GOOD WRITING LIKE WTH PLEASE LET ME LIVE she’s less busy now so IM WAITING FOR UPDATES GIRLL but seriously check out all of her fics will not be disappointed

fic recs: alpaca boy saves the day, crushing on you, jaehwan soulmate au, dating a park at a park

@wanna-request-one​ such great paragraph writings mine will never live up to theirs writing is so amazing just so great if you want detailed long writing the best blog to go to all of them are AMAZING WRITERS congrats on 1.8K!!

fic recs: seongwoo soulmate, seongwoo brother’s best friend, jaehwan college, I HATE YOU IM YOUNGMIN (literally so in love w this fic)

@wanna-one-scenarios amazing writer!!! so so so niceeee she’s starting college rn so v busy i miss youuu we never get to chat but its okayyy BUT LIKE SHIT WRITING IS SOOOO ON POINT LIKE WTH just go through her whole master list won’t regret it

fic recs: DANIEL PRINCE AU!!! (like if y’all haven’t read this missing out on sm), jongyun father au, sewoon enemies to lovers au

@wannaonestars love reading her writing such great bullet points and really good ideas ALSO SO JEALOUS that like short bullet points BUT CAN MAKE ME FEEL SO FLUFF like that is a skill ppl 

fic recs: all of boyfriend series (like so fluff) ESPECIALLY SEONGWOO’S, jihoon soulmate, minhyun office au

@jsioos (was heochannies) MEIKE IS SO PRETTY AND NICE AND AN AMAZING WRITER LIKE WHAT HOW CAN YOU BE SO BLESSED has such a diverse range of works from scenarios to mtls to reactions so genuinely impressed with her blog like goals

fic recs: all of boyfriend series FOR EVERY SINGLE GROUP like she’s amazing at those, and movie night with seongwoo

@ukulelewrites ALSO LONG ASS FICS AMAZING BLOG seriously such amazing writing love so many fics of hers DESERVES MORE ATTENTION AND FOLLOWERS and super sweet as well 

fic recs: cherry picker’s club, a fanta-sea, homerun and ephiany (it’s nct ten BUT SUCH AN AMAZING FIC NEED TO PUT IT ON HERE)

@kanggdaniell STEPH IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND SO NICE AND RLY BUSY AS WELL but amazing writer just love her writing so much she isn’t as active as before but still should definitely check out master list cause so many amazing scenarios

fic recs: TSUNDERE (FUCK FUCK READ IT RN BEST SERIES FOR ME ON TUMBLR WOOJIN STANS COLLECT YOUR BOI), always in my heart, all of breakup scenarios, all of bad boy scenarios

ANOTHER SPECIAL SHOUTOUT TO IRIS AKA @alliwannado-w1 LITERALLY RELATES W ALL MY WRITING PROBLEMS ON A PERSONAL LEVEL IS THE ABSOLUTE SWEETEST CARES SO MUCH ABOUT HER WORKS, BLOG AND FOLLOWERS I LOVE HER WRITING AND ADMIRE HOW DEDICATED SHE IS TO POST SO REGULARLY just i rly should stop writing in caps but like just genuinely she is the princess of writing in the pd101/wanna one fandom and she’s just so so amazing and all her writings are always so much fun to read like i love her so much but like no offence iris but you’re fucking crazy in the best way possible like to have so many wips like GIRL YOU NEED A BREAK 

fic recs: FUCKBOY SERIES (iris got all her fame from here lol jk), daniel werewolf au, jihoon soulmate au, jihoon vampire au, woojin youtuber au, woojin policeman au, jinyoung barista au, sewoon soulmate au, youngmin youtuber au gonna stop there cause i’ll be listing her whole master list soon ;)

AMAZING WRITERS (just to give heads up have liked these recommended fics on another private account so if you like look at the likes and i’m not there that’s the reason):

@daehwifi​​ GENUINELY LOVE THESE TWO SO SO MUCH AND THEY’RE BOTH RIDICULOUSLY TALENTED and hella sweet like cutest married couple ik TIFFY thank youuu for always making me smile and MAE for being the sweetest angel but YOUR WRITING IS ALSO HELLA GOOD like great bullet point fics and regular updates 

fic recs: bandaid guanlin scenario, movies ongniel scenario, skype calls jinyoung scenario 

@deepdickdaniel​​ ARIANE EVERYONG GC MOTHER (aurora’s dad now) and the ultimate HOE for daniel but got guys chasing after her constantly SMH and all our gc is beautiful because of your genes ANYWAYS you’re also a good ass writer and if anyone wants bomb ass daniel fics FOLLOW ARIANES BLOG YALL

fic recs: doormat, all her soulmate aus especially taste, hiking w daniel

@dong-hyucks​ oKAY so jade has only like one fic on wanna one BUT SHE’S SUPER TALENTED AND SHE DOES SO MANY GROUPS like mutlifandom ASF AND I LOVE HER ALOT 

fic recs: daniel soulmate au, na jaemin spy au, i’m with you taeyong

@donghyxns​​​ IF YALL WANT MXM SCENARIOS/CONTENT THIS SHIT IS RIGHT HERE also has a lot of wanna one scenarios but maddie is the biggest donghyun fan ik and super sweet even though we haven’t talked much!

fic recs: royalty au donghyun, actually all the royalty aus,  TIC TOK WOOJIN SOULMATE AU, youngmin as your boyfriend

@ennergetics​​ RAE my favourite drunk aunt ever like super funny and nice and talking about bts is always great with you RAE YOU ALSO LIKE AN AMAZING WRITER and make me feel all sorts of stuff when i read your works

edit: fuck me im so sorry rae lmao idk if it was the fact i wrote this at 3am or I'm terrible speller originally or it was auto correct IDEK BUT ILYSM DONT HATE MEEEEE

fic recs: bad first dates, prince aus, woojin college/barista au

@fromwannaone​​ ANNIE A COMPLETE UTTER SWEETHEART WITH WRITING SKILLS which put me to shame and fic ideas are always sooo good too just fuck meeeee i love youuu and your writing 

fic recs: ALL HER SCHOOL SERIES which is like all members basically sooo, on rainy days, sweet like candy

@hiyawoojin​​ RISSAAAA MY BABY MY PRECIOUSSSS I WANT TO PROTECT YOU AND HUG YOU AND LOVE YOU FOREVER but genuinely rissa is the sweetest person ik on tumblr and her sweetness is as equal to her writing BUT SINCE SHE’S A NEWBIE EVERYONE GIVE HER LOVE

fic recs: ALL OF THEM since there’s about 4 but i like the woojin and the minhyun in particular hehehe

@hwinkinghwi​​ XUAN WE BONDED INSTANTLY YOU ALWAYS MAKE ME SMILE AND LAUGH and we talk about the weirdest things but it’s still heaps of fun and xuan has short sweet bullet point fics which will warm your heart

fic series: both baejin fics: chicken first cuddles later, florist jinyoung, baker woojin, ___ as your boyfriend (all of them)

@jeonjeonggukks​​ I LOVE ALEX SM SERIOUSLY SO SO SO FUNNY LIKE WTH and sooooo easy to slander BUT SHE IS MY MOTHER (well one of them) AND I LOVE HER SO SO MUCH AND SHE’S ALSO AN AMAZING ASS WRITER so y’all should read her writings

fic recs: shipped jonghyun scenario, our necklaces sungwoon soulmate au, why her why him woojin

@jihoonslattee​​ AHHH WE JUST STARTED TALKING CHI BUT I ALREADY LOVE YOU AND JUST WOW YOUR WRITING IS INCREDIBLE WISH I COULD BE YOU AND HAS SOOOO MANY FICS DONE LIKE IM SO IMPRESSED wow i did that in all caps but like JIHOON STANS WHO WANT JIHOON FICS like chi’s blog like 100% recommend also does reactions SO CHECK HER OUT 

fic recs: jihoon prince au (this was sooo good), daniel CEO both parts, seongwoo boyfriend au, jihoon soulmate au

@mongniel​​ AURORA OUR SALTY ASS MOTHER/FATHER who leaves us regularly and is a daniel seongwoo stan (she says so at least) BUT LIKE GOTTA APPRECIATE HER ABILITY TO MAKE ME FEEL SO MUCH SHIT WITH HER ANGST also if y'all love angst daniel fics AURORA’S BLOG IS THE ONE FOR YOU

fic recs: BROKEN RECORD (heart BREAKING), no chance no way, in his dreams, no answer

@peachiejihoonie​​ SAYS IN DESCRIPTION SHE’S BAD AT WRITING BUT THAT’S RIDICULOUS her writing is sooooo good like not too many fics up BUT ALL OF THEM ARE AMAZING like what??

fic recs: demigod series, daniel fuckboy 

@perkwoojin​​ IVE ALREADY MENTIONED JAS CAUSE SHES MY ONE ETERNAL LOVE but genuinely wtf so talented I AM SHOOK she does EVERYTHING like gifs, reactions, scenarios AND SHE HAS TWO OTHER BLOGS for the boyz and stray kids fans CHECK THOSE BLOGS OUT TOO

fic recs: basically everything but in particular wanna one as prom dates, wanna one reacting to you how to solve a rubix cube, and all her series which include: boyfriend, fallen angel, AND check out woojin badboy pt 1 & 2 and now ive literally listed her whole master list whoopss

@playfuldisaster​​ CHRISTINE IS SUCH A SWEETHEART LIKE WOW genuinely like an angel AND I LOVE TALKING TO HER but she also has so many works up! WHICH NEED MORE ATTENTION cause they’re so good

fic recs: and i’m here seongwoo, attention baejin, my boy lollipop baejin, sorry kang daniel

@producedwannaone​​ SO UNDERRATED LIKE WHAT HOW EVERYONE WAKE UP also honey I NEED A MASTERLIST like need to stalk your blog easily yooo but seriously such a great writer and a sweetheart x 

fic recs: wanna one seeing their donsaeng in their t shirt, naps with guanlin

@starrywinters​​ SHEENA YOU HAVE SHARED MY PAIN OF HAVING SEONGWOO AS A BIAS WRECKER but like other than that you mean so so much to me you are positively brilliant in every single way AND DON’T TELL YOURSELF OTHERWISE seriously AND IT INCLUDES YOUR WRITING SKILLS 

fic recs: cute bandaids, minhyun college au, 7 minutes in heaven jihoon, hugs woojin, guanlin soulmate/vampire au

@wannabeone​​ just dammnnnn girl your writing is SO GOOD LIKE WHAT?? always makes me feel all nice inside just love reading your works fic recs: all of best friend lovers (like you will not be disappointed), kissing cuddling hugging wanna one

@wannamoon​​ JUJU IK YOU’RE ON HIATUS AND YOU HAVEN’T REPLIED TO MY MESSAGES CRI but i miss your baejin fangirl squealing and your posts which will be filled with sadness cause it’s you lmao BUT COME BACK SOON I MISS YOU AND I LOVE YOU but juju has such a good mix of fluff and angst fics and super unique and heart warming ideas

fic recs: crumble both parts guanlin, ALL HER LIFE AUS LIKE FUCK SUCH GOOD FLUFF, halcyon seongwoo, jihoon soulmate au

@wannaonescenarios​ SERIOUSLY SUCH GREAT SHORT FLUFF WRITINGS LIKE WHAT HOW I WISH and has a long ass masterlist WHICH IS AMAZING TO GO THROUGH just like go right now to her blog amazing writings IS AVAILABLE

fic recs: SOULMATE AU SERIES, dating series, college series (even tho it’s only youngmin), daniel cat cafe owner 

@wannasoftimagine​​ OMG SUCH AMAZING FICS BUT DOES ANYONE KNOW PHI WENT?? like she hasn’t updated in 2 weeks? or replied to messages? like does anyone know?? but if she’s on an hiatus without mentioning well idrk but phi’s works make me feel so so soft like super duper fluffy and always read them for a cheer up 

fic recs: ALL SOULMATE SERIES, classmate woojin, boyfriend woojin, and all of wanna one _____

@wannasseu​​ CYN CYN OMG I LOVE YOU SO MUCH PEOPLE CYN IS THE QUEEN OF ANGST if anyone says otherwise FITE ME drown in my tears whenever i read one of her angsts WHICH IS LIKE ALL THE TIME ugh cyn what are you doing to me BUT CONTRARY TO THE ANGSTY FICS SHE WRITES cyn is such a FLUFFY person 

fic recs: ALL HER EX BOYFRIEND SERIES especially seongwoo’s (i ranted to cyn for a straight hour about that fic lol), custard kisses, arranged marriage 

@wannatales​​ GREAT SHORT FLUFFS THAT YALL WANNA READ RECOMMENDING FOR STANS OF MAKNAE LINE since writings are only maknae line works always makes me feel all fluffy and gooey insideeee

fic recs: JACKET GUANLIN (fuck such a cute scenarios can’t deal), fool woojin, milk jihoon

@wannawrite​​ SO MANY FICS FOR SO MANY FANDOMS but like the wanna one master list IS HELLA LONG haven’t ever talked to admin N BUT I LOVE YOUUUUU LAETITA DATITA RISEEEE (is that how to spell it i can’t even remember) BUT ANYWAYS soooooo good fics like always love reading them just genuinely great writings 100% of the time

fic recs: FLOWER BOY SERIES LIKE YESSS, vamp series, i latte you very much minhyun, bffs to bf daniel, colourless soulmate au woojin, this isn’t part of the plot guanlin

@wanna-17​​ CATH OMG MY OLDER FUTURE TWIN IDEK i love you so so much and chatting you is always fun BUT you have so many mtls like wow I'm mind blown BUT YOUR FICS ARE ALSO SUPER GOOD 

fic recs: wanna one first meeting series, and any of the mtls you want to know about

@whatabrightplace​​ AHHH TINA PLEASE PLEASE WRITE FOR WANNA ONE YOUR WRITING IS ALREADY AMAZING AND DON’T BE SCARED JUST TAKE A LEAP OF FAITH wow I'm being rly dramatic but idc i want to see you produce wanna one writing content (did you see what i did there ;) ) ANYWAYS i also wanted to tell you i love youuuu

fic recs: HER RECENT DANIEL SCENARIO FUCK stars + you for our precious mother ariane and basically everything on her masterlist even tho it isn’t wanna one or pd101

@101scenes​​ JUST CUTE ASF SCENARIOS (at least the ones i’ve read) got me squealing and SOFT like such great writing 

fic recs: LATTE ART daniel scenario, guanlin soulmate au, ceo jihoon

TEXT BLOGS (not gonna do fic recommendations cause they’re texts and it’s harder to choose specific ones):

@laignlin​​ LILY I LOVE YOU AND I WANT TO TALK TO YOU MORE LIKE TIME DIFFERENCE AND SCHOOL SUCKS but our chats are always the best and it’s always hella nice talking to you BUT YOU’RE ALSO A GREAT WRITER AND AMAZING TEXT MAKER so i ended up putting you in text author lol also IM STILL YOUR PROM DATE but everyone just read through all of lily’s texts and scenarios cause they’re all on point asf

@pwjins​ I GENUINELY ADORE ALLISON BUT SHE HATES ME AND WE HAVE THIS BITCH FEUD THING GOING ON BUT WHATEVER I LOVE HER ALOT AND IK YOU GOING THROUGH A TOUGH TIME AND NEED A BREAK BUT LIKE I’M HERE FOR YOU TUMBLR HERE’S FOR YOU but i love allison’s texts they always make me smile and laugh and like my heart literally warms SHE ALSO WRITES occasionally so check those out and i don’t have any in particular but like the gc texts are always good and the CHANGING THE NAME LIKE LMAO that’s also amazing just check it all out BUT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ALLISON 

@texts101 YOUR TEXTS ARE SOOOO GOOD JUST THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR MAKING THEM like they never disappoint I LOVE the best friend, boyfriend, gc and name switch texts the most BUT LITERALLY ALL OF YOUR TEXTS ARE AMAZING and ik you taking a hiatus now SO PLEASE TAKE A GOOD REST AND FOCUS ON SCHOOL and don’t stress at all cause all your followers will still be here and ready for your return

@w1talks ANGELA IK YOU DO SCENARIOS AND TEXTS but the scenario list was getting WAYYY TOO LONG to put you there anyways I LOVE YOUR TEXTS AND YOUR SCENARIOS your writing is amazing but your texts are also great LIKE MULTI TALENTED MUCH and I ABSOLUTELY ADORED wanna one finding you went on a date with jinyoung BUT I ALSO ABSOLUTELY ADORE YOUUU

INCORRECT QUOTES BLOGS (not gonna do fic recommendations cause they’re quotes and there are hundreds):

@incorrect-produce101-quotes​ SUPER DUPER FUNNY and like totally could imagine your quotes being said by the guys and love how there’s a lot of the pd101 guys as welll 

@incorrect-wanna-one-quotes​ you were one of the first blogs i followed and your quotes NEVER fail to make me at least smile like i have properly cracked up laughing on multiple occasions because of your quotes and i just feel like my day becomes a little brighter when i see you on my dash

TALENTED ASF GIF MAKERS:

@daewi​ just really nice and cute gifs which are soooo aesthetically pleasing together also all your reblogs are just great AND I ADORE YOUR HS YEARBOOK AWARD THEMES 

@defsouldanik​ LITERALLY IM IN SUCH AWE OF YOU LIKE THE GIFS YOU MAKE IS ALWAYS LIKE THE MOMENTS I WANT GIFFED?? and like all your got7 content makes me happy as well and just THE QUALITY IS SOOO GOOD AS WELL

@kimsjaehwan​ ONE OF MY ULT FAV GIF MAKERS always gifs are so nice and the gifs are always hella good quality just always makes me smile when i see them 

@kngniel​ YOU WANT BASICALLY PERFECT GIFS OF DANIEL HERE IS THE BLOG FOR YOU genuinely so many gifs you’ve made of him smiling and just MAKES ME FEEL SOFTTT 

@ongeuigeon​ SUCH AMAZING GIFS WTF like the gifs in a set always match perfectly with each other in every way AND I LOVE IT WHEN YOU ADD YOUR OWN LITTLE COMMENTS IN it always make the gif that much better 

@parkswoojin REALLY NICE GIFS and like you regularly make new ones so thank youuu for that and just really nice quality AND IN GENERAL A GREAT GIF BLOG TO FOLLOW

@park-woojin​ I LOVE YOU JUST FOR EXISTING AND MAKING WOOJIN GIFS LIKE all of your gifs are so nice and clean and great ass quality AND SINCE ITS WOOJIN i always smile my ass off whenever i see any of your gifs 

@rosybaejin AMAZING ASS GIFS LIKE WOWOOWOWOWOW mind fucking blown y'all AND also in general amazing blog to follow great baejin content

@sungwhoon really pretty high quality edits and gifs AND LIKE THE COLOURS ALWAYS LOOK AMAZING just so nice to look at your gifs

@woojinnies WHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOU IN THIS FANDOM genuinely believe you are a staple piece of creating gifs in this fandom YOUVE MADE SOOOO MANY AND THEY’RE ALL SOOO GOOD like you have A GIFT just thank youuuu for making your gifs 

OTHER GREAT BLOGS:

@boo-jinyoung​​​ summer you’re an amazing ass dancer like woah and totally a baejin stan even tho you deny it CONSTANTLY and you are a  complete sweetheart everyone follow for HELLA GOOD jinyoung and guanlin content 

@crystalkpop​ I LOVE YOUUU THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH FOR BEING ONE OF MY BIGGEST SUPPORTERS AND LIKING/COMMENTING MY WORKS JUST I APPRECIATE YOU SO MUCH

@dearlydaehwi AMAZING DAEHWI CONTENT LIKE DAMN like i love seeing the smol soft bean and you DELIVER like all daehwi stand should follow you just daehwi overload in the absolute best way possible

@extraongdinary LITERALLY PROVIDES ALL THE SEONGWOO CONTENT I NEED and reblogs good ass content SO HAPPY ASF leah ily even tho we’ve never talked you just ultra great 

@fywannaone​ JUST THANK THE LORDS FOR YOU best updates such great pictures literally don’t need to follow any other blogs cause like SO FAST just constantly blessing me with wanna one content SO THANK YOU 

@ricepot-jisung​ I KNOW YOURE A WRITER BUT I HAVEN’T HAD TIME TO READ YOUR WORKS which i bet are amazing AND TBH JUST FOLLOWED YOU BECAUSE YOU REPOSTED GOOD ASS CONTENT AND SEEMED SUPER NICE AND PERSONAL POSTS WERE RELATABLE ASF (whoops wrote all that in caps) 

@soft-baejin BRI we’ve barely talked since i’m never on the gc but you’re super duper sweet and nice and also have a really nice blog and you reblog really good jinyoung content and great content in general 

@wooh00jin SUPER SWEET and adores woojin great ships and i bet you have so many flooding in when ships are open cause you put so much detail into them and GREAT WOOJIN CONTENT  

@asongofmagicandtime | @sewnho | @lai-panlin | thank you for always being nice to me on the gc and I'm sad its not as active as before but all three of you are SUCH SWEETHEARTS and have GREAT ASS CONTENT on your blogs

MY FAVOURITE MUTUALS/CLOSE FRIENDS (which have not been mentioned above or i just felt like putting you here lmao):

@danielsoftgf​ DIAN YOU WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME NO MORE SENDING GIFS OF KOOKIE TAE N WOOJIN LIKE YOU RLY WANNA KILL ME but you so so soft for daniel it’s sweet but also so easy to exploit hehehe but i can see seongwoo just around the corner ;) but genuinely love your blog it’s so so so nice and chatting with you is the best I LOVE YOUUUU

@hyuckland​ OKAY IK WE JUST STARTED TALKING TINA AND I HAVEN’T GOT THE CHANCE TO STALK YOUR BLOG YET so i can’t really properly comment on anything BUT ONE THING I CAN is that you’re an absolute sweetheart and you made me feel SO MUCH BETTER with your messages BUT IK WE’RE GONNA BECOME HELLA CLOSE 

@jaehwansspookywife LUCY LUCY LUCY you are the funniest person ever you are so nice and sweet and hilarious and conversations never get boring w you we don’t talk THAT often but when we do i always genuinely enjoy it love youuuuu ALSO OBSESSED W JAEHWAN DON’T LET HER i don’t think he’s cute FOOL YOU

@kpopsincejune07​ JEN I LOVE YOU you were one of my first fans and you’ve been a huge supporter ever since AND WE BECAME CLOSER and talk when our stupid time zones all us lol and please don’t stress about work and take care of yourself also thank you for always reposting great fics BUT IM WAITING ON YOURSSS PLEASE PLEASE POST YOUR FIC i am waiting till this day for it ily

@ongsecngwoo​ GINNY MY LOVEEEEE i always love talking with you our conversations are always good and hella fun even tho we end up replying hours/days after EH ITS TIMEZONES but also i love your blog it’s so pretty AND THE CONTENT YOU REBLOG just yes yes yes also DONT STRESS ABOUT SCHOOL TOO MUCH AND YOU BETTER TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF but also you haven’t replied to my messages in ages so i hope everything’s okay?? i just love you loads :)))

@parkkwoojin ace we don’t talk as much as before but I STILL CARE AND LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH you’re soon easy to slander but since i promised to be sweet i’m being sweet hehehe BUT GENUINELY YOU POST BOMB ASS GIFS AND ALWAYS IMPRESSED BY THEM and your gifs of woojin OOFT MY HEART DIESSSS just thank you for existing

@porkjeojang SUMMER OMG SUMMER YOU ARE SUCH A SOFT SWEETHEART WHICH I LOVE SO MUCH but you can also be one HELL OF A BITCH sometimes ya know?? also she says she’s loyal to jihoon but IVE SEEN HER EYEING DANIEL UP but she super multi talented making pixels, gifs, mood boards and writing scenarios LIKE TEACH ME YOUR SECRETS but i love you so much and without you my dashboard wouldn’t be complete

@spooky-jihoon NAIA IK WE AIN’T THAT CLOSE BUT YOU WERE ONE OF MY FIRST MUTUALS I TALKED TO sooo i put you here hope you don’t mind I MISS YOU A LOT you’re a literal angel AND PROBABLY THE MOST DEVOTED JIHOON FAN I KNOW like jihoon content right here ppl right here and ik you won’t see this after your hiatus BUT I LOVE YOUU 

@wannabl​ okay hana we haven’t talked in fucking ages cause i felt like you just didn’t really want to chat ya know? especially cause you’re so so busy w irl stuff but like i do really really miss you and i’ve actually sent a few anons saying that i do miss you and wanting to see how you’ll react never got a reply :( but genuinely in awe of how easily you make friends and that you have so many different types of works and i’m so glad you have so many people that recognise that like your anons (and i’m sorry if i was too overly jokingly bitchy) and everyone just go through her master list or just check out her blog cause genuinely such a funny person and has amazing content on there

@wanna-one MERVE you’re my sister/protecter from all things bad (like makeout scenes lmao) but even though you “hate” daniel you have your sweet ASF moments about him you basically confess you love everything about him AND SO MUCH DANIEL CONTENT ON YOUR BLUG BUT you’re always tired and stressed and i wish you were decently okay and happy but remember you’re so sweet ridiculously smart AND i still need to see a photo of you anyways i love you sooooo much and so does daniel ;)

@woojinstinygf OMG KITTY YOU ARE SUCH A SWEETHEART AND PROBABLY THE MOST DEVOTED WOOJIN FAN IK (sorry all those woojin stans out there but like kitty takes it to ANOTHER LEVEL) i always love chatting w you and you always make feel so soft and happy ANYONE WANTS WOOJIN CONTENT OR SWEET WORDS OR ANYTHING ABOUT WOOJIN OR STRAY KIDS LMAO FOLLOW N MESSAGE KITTY (not actually her irl name but she tells ppl to call her that soooo ya)

IM SORRY IF I MISSED YOU PLEASE PLEASE MESSAGE ME SO I CAN ADD YOU ONTO THE LIST 

I LOVE YOU ALL BUT AGAIN VOTE!!!! MAGU MAGUUUUUU!!!!

#@MUTUALS WHY I DIDNT REPLY TO MESSAGES I WAS DOING THIS #THIS WAS EXHAUSTING #IT TOOK ME HOURS #IM SO DONE #BUT ALSO SUPER PROUD I FINISHED #ANYWAYS #I LOVE YOU ALL #THANK YOU SO MUCH #PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE VOTE #wanna one #wanna one scenarios #wanna one imagines #produce 101 #produce 101 scenarios #produce 101 imagines

[lighthouseofthewanderess]

Food

(Noun): any nutrition the living being needs in order to sustain and grow.

Part 1: Hunger.

I’ve realized that food is just a vast concept to grasp. There’s the ingredients, the actual cooking, the tasting. More complicated words like Gastronomy can be thrown in with food as well. So many methods to cook the same thing, so many recipes floating around or rotting away with the grandmas of the world. I will never be able to fully understand it; only grasp it here and there. That’s why I’ve decided to take you on my culinary journey through life, starting with food that wasn’t even there. A privilege.

The first thing I consciously remember having was Cerelac. Blessed be milk powder, really. But I had stolen this bowl. It was meant for an infant in the house, the ‘big house’ that I was dragged into for my staged birthday picture. Heart beating out my little rib cage, I sat under the bed and made sure I was extra safe before indulging in the first spoonful. It melted away in my mouth, and my knotted stomach opened up to welcome it. Its textures comforted my taste buds, this was possibly the best thing in the world. How very different from the kanji that I get in the servant quarters. And that pickle that came along with it? So acidic that it burned sometimes. Though I was found out and given a good beating, I told myself it was all worth it. Even on nights that I went hungry, all I had to do was remember that sweet moment and my stomach would be easily tricked into satisfaction.

Malnutritioned and unkempt, I could easily pass off as a kid on the street. And for twisted reasons that are beyond me, my father and his family liked to see me this way. I was made to stay with the servants and one of them would walk me to school and back. The big house was out of the question. I sometimes even felt like a court jester, brought to show face to the visitors, to recite my alphabets, or write from 1 to 100. Fruit would be passed around, but I wasn’t allowed to touch it. Were apples juicy? I wouldn’t know. What’s inside a grape? I wouldn’t know. Every time I set foot into the house I hoped I would stay the night, I sometimes dozed off even; always finding myself wake up in the quarters. A year or two flew this way, food always staying within my sight but out of reach. I yearned to eat it all, taking my own sweet time. Have patience. Someone rang my mom up and told her,

“Something’s wrong with your daughter. I … I think it’s better you ask your husband about it.” My mom was confused. Why? She was speaking with me over phone, she saw pictures too.

“Priya isn’t just malnutritioned, she’s lost. She doesn't talk when you talk to her. She doesn’t even smile. Just trust me, have her with you in the US.” Fast forward through the haircut, the reunion at the airport, and the house with wooden walls. We are now at the exact moment I had a real meal. Rasam, rice, beans poriyal, and yoghurt.

My mom sat kneeling opposite me while the neatly arranged plate of food sat waiting for me to devor. But I just couldn’t. I didn’t know how to eat it all. Funnily, my mom thought I didn’t like her food. I waited till she served herself, and then watching her, I slowly curved my fingers around the warm, soft, fluffy rice and had the first bite. After that, I just couldn’t stop. I pulled out all the vegetables, the curry leaves, the tempering and gobbled up all the rice.

“That’s bad manners” my mom say=id. “You have to eat everything.” Oh wait, these were eatable? (Edible was a word I learnt maybe years later.) With mom I tasted so much more, that it made me feel like I was truly living life.

When we went grocery shopping,  my mom would tsk at the prices of coriander leaves, pudina, and the little things had go into the authentic flavor of our food.

“The vegetables here are tasteless. You’ve felt it too, yes?” my mom asked as we picked out the groceries. I nodded like I knew how vegetables even tasted like. The cool mist from the invisible pipes in these grocery sections fascinated me. I removed my gloves, put one hand in and pulled it out. Like another world. I glanced at all the items in the open cooler; so many boxes, so many colors of things that people just ate? How did that even work. When I looked around my mom had piled up veggies onto the cart and at the exact moment my stomach gave a huge growl. I guess this is how, the stomach just asks for it.

Shopping was one of the fun things I liked to do. I’d find a cart, give a little push and hoist myself up on the cart as I zoomed past the aisles reading out the list. At the end of an aisle I’ll wait for mom to pick out the items I called out. If I got lucky, there would be free treats at the corner aisles, people handing out funny tasting samples. And this is how I met the two staples of my then life: Texas Garlic Bread and Frozen Mini Pizzas. Why was this hidden from me for so long! The Garlic Bread would sizzle with all that butter as it did pirouettes inside the microwave. Garlic always tickled my nose and sent a secret message to my stomach that would make it flip in anticipation. The Mini Pizzas on the other hand, had pork and I never even knew. I believed it to be chicken and hogged my way through it all. This is also how I chanced upon the world of cereals and pop tarts: sugary things that just hit the spot, you know? Cheerios. Lucky Charms. String Cheese. Sliced Ham. Pitted Black Olives. There was no knowing when food was going to hit me with it’s next best thing.

I wanted to eat a little bit of everything, and I didn’t care if I couldn’t finish it. I just had to taste it. My mom found it all too overwhelming, how her kid turned out to be a greedy little pig. She controlled what I ate without knowing that life was just Kanji and Lemon Pickle for me until I came here. She would never buy the frozen dinners that you just heat up and eat, and never the yellow luncheon boxes that almost every kid in school brought. “But why...” I wailed. “I like the little compartments, and that Cheddar Cheese, the Crackers, and the…” my mom cut me off short.

“Because that is not real food. You have a family, and you get good food that is cooked with love. These boxes don’t mean a thing, they’re an excuse for mothers who can’t cook for their own children. You are blessed enough to be healthy.” Woah. Some volcano just erupted and the only thing I knew after that was to stick to the sambar the kootu and occasionally treat myself to the Chicken Buffalo Wings (how could I forget) in the freezer when mom came home late from work. I wasn’t averse to Banana. I was averse to the idea of eating it every day. I was caught up in the world of food, and a nation that had 90% of its population on the brink of obesity. So when my mom placed a banana alongside the too-big bowl of cereal, I’d frown at it. I started talking to Mr. Banana when mom wasn’t looking, saything stuff like “Not today” , “Na na, Banana”  -- the only thing this one-sided conversation resulted in, was rejection. For Mr. Banana ended up at the bottom of the garbage bin every day. Somedays, I even dug out a little trash to place him safely, deep inside, so that mom won’t ever find out. But mothers always do. Uh-oh.

“Do you know what a banana even costs?” my mom was upset, but trying to keep her calm.

“Do you how privileged you are to have three meals a day?” Of, course. I hardly had a meal earlier.

“Some people live on bread, do you know that?” Sounds better than kanji.

“In fact kuttima, all I used to get at your father’s house was a milk bun. Every day, that’s all I had when you were just born.” Wait what? I looked at my mom when she said that, and I could tell she was wishing she could press pause on motherhood so she can just let somethings out. I could sense these things and so I held her hand and said “What mom? Just a bun?”

That broke her dam and she spoke of how even when she was a lactating mother, she had just a bun rationed out to her. When I started eating, she would break off a quarter for me from that same bun and survive on the rest. I was a kid, I don’t have a big stomach. But for someone who is used to proper meals to go hungry; what a shame. She didn’t have to repeat anything about the banana after that. Or wasting any food for that matter. We’re so used to reaching out and having something to munch on. Opening the refrigerator and fixing a sandwich. Unlocking the phone and ordering an evening snack. What happens when that option is not even there. It is a scary thought. And what of stress eating, mindless eating, eating because it is there in front of you, eating because someone passes it to you. A privilege. That’s when I made up my own meaning for the word. Years after I was no longer malnutritioned, the aisles of baby food would put me right back in my place. Hunger: A state of mind. And lucky are those who never feel the kind that almost kills them.  

Part 2 - Taste

Me hating men is an established fact. Don’t worry, I don’t hate them now. But the only thing that I hate about hating men is that they are amazing cooks. I used to try and limit my interactions with my mom’s friends and my relatives too. Then came the day when I realized I have to forgive all men for something that can be pinned only on my father. Someone who cooks so well, cannot be a bad person. I know what you’re thinking, save it; my mind is a weird place.

Aparna aunty lived somewhere in the wilderness. 13 hairpin bends later, you would find her house nestled into the side of a mountain. Three floors of sprawling space, just for her and her husband. And almost every room overlooked the woods. When we visited them, we usually stayed over. Her husband was the cook of the family… and he always checked with my mom what I liked so that there would be no typical 8-year old dinner fuss. I remember the first time I tasted his food. It was just a Curry of Lima Beans, Coconut and some Spices. He sat at the head of the table, and I on the other end. Food was served and I tucked in, eating my way through the morsels, feeling the way the beans mashed up easy and the hint of coriander spice through it all. I was so lost in enjoying my food that I almost muted out one sentence. The sentence.

“Rajeev is an excellent cook. Can you blame me for not learning?” Aparna aunty giggled and looked at her husband as she took her next bite. While she chewed, I slowly stopped chewing. This was made by a guy? Oh no. The paradoxes of life.

“Priya ma, do you like what I’ve cooked?” That sentence was directed at me now. My mom looked at me with guarding eyes, suspecting that something was coming. She wouldn’t have been prepared for what I did next. I shook my head to signify a no, got up and left the rest of my plate untouched.

“I hate you, and I hate your food.” I looked at him dead in the eye and shouted the words. And I can still feel the hurt behind the still, calm eyes. My mom immediately moved in to whisper and correct what I had said, but Rajeev uncle stopped her. “It’s ok. Taste is subjective. In food and in people.” Later on that night, I thought long and hard. That lima bean was on my mind. It did taste so good, I told myself. What if I made an exception. Just this one guy? It didn’t seem harmless at all. Later on Pradeesh Uncle would be the second person on this list of exceptions and then slowly some more. I made up with Rajeev uncle, and in return I was treated to a feast every time we went there. It got me thinking, if it wasn’t for that food I would’ve never known what an amazing person he is. Then I realized that some of my lighthouse moments in life were with food. What a surprise. Food helped me mark some important memories.

Like the time we went to IHOP and I discovered a Garden Omelette. My mom was talking about an expiring Visa to Pradeesh Uncle at that time. Or the Halloween Spider Cookies at my Scout teacher’s house. She was telling my mom about how marrying someone and living off on alimony isn’t such a bad option. Or the HashBrowns hat Pradesh Uncle made in his university room. He was lying on the phone to his parents about mom and me not being there. Some good memories, some neutral, and some just bad. When I first had Vadagam, a fry-yum sort of thing, I almost broke down. It was a repressed memory surfacing, and this harmless vadagam was the trigger. It reminded me of how when I was in Chennai, I was sent up to the terrace to make sure the crows didn’t come pecking at the vadagams. Most families made it at home, and left it to dry out under the blistering sun. They check up on it now and then, but I was there the whole time, starving, looking at the thing and wondering how it tasted. I knew if I did try to take one, I would be reprimanded badly. The sun was blistering hot, and it was getting all too bright. I tried my luck and walked down the steps to where my father was shaving his beard.

“It’s too hot to stay on top. Can I check later?” He glanced at me and didn’t say a word. I repeated the question, this time a little louder. Still no answer. But at that high pitched voice, my grandma came running out and slapped me hard.

“Go back and stay up there till I call you down. If you don’t I’ll skin you and leave you also up there with the vadagams.” Well, it was worth a try. I climbed up sulking and sat there tasting my spit and blood and wondering if these vadagams were any better. I guess that’s why when I really tasted one, I cried out of happiness that it was so much better than my expectation. So much.

From then on, when I want to relive a certain moment, I would try and remember what I ate. Get my hands on it and relish every bite, travelling back in time blissfully. Papa John’s takes me back to the watery Garlic Dip I would pour over every pizza, sitting in front of the TV. Chicken Pot Pies take me back to my ballet classes, when I would eat one right after school and before class. Krispy Kreme doughnuts take me back to the 4th of July when there were special red-white-blue sprinkles. The second I taste it, the moment rushes through me like colors after a happy pill. Food was so pivotal. What was I doing just eating it?  Taste: A mastery that needed to be learnt to recreate a moment. To make someone feel something with every bite.

Part 3 - Flavor

“Don’t stab the vegetables! Cook with love otherwise no one will digest what you cook.” my mom yelled as she passed by the kitchen. This is a theory, and I hate to agree that it sometimes makes sense. Food tastes better with the secret ingredient of love - not for the person eating it, but for the process itself.  “Fine!”I yelled back, carefully turning the Arbi and letting it roast evenly. I have told my mom time and again, not to comment on how I should be cooking, not to even enter the kitchen when I’m making a meal. She does it anyway; secretly I know that she wants to know what tricks I use.

I started cooking when I was in 2nd grade. Mackenzie and I made Noodles. We took an hour to chop up the vegetables finely, and then dropped them into boiling hot water. My mom took a picture of us cooking the entire thing and eating it too. After that I started helping mom out in the kitchen. She wouldn’t let me cook anything just yet, but I could cut the vegetables, rinse the spinach.

“No mom. I want to do the actually cooking; near the stove kinda cooking.” I was complaining away again.

“Help is help. You don’t get to pick. And listen - cooking is everything. From the cutting to the cleaning up afterwards.” came my mom’s curt answer. I stuck around and watched what she did, making up a mental recipe for each dish. One day, when she was late to come home, I made Rasam. I made it with rice and surprised her. She just smiled from ear to ear and asked to be taken through the process. I had messed up the tempering, but it was definitely a start. Eggs, toast and the simpler stuff came later. I just  plunged into the family basics. Chicken Curry. Pumpkin Pulli Kozhambu. Tomato Rice. Potato Fry. I was surprised how if I followed the exact proportions, the exact order, and the exact time limit for each step - I could remake most dishes in the exact flavor. And when grandma came over we, it turned into a riot. Jalebis. Cheeniurundai. Samosas. Cooker Cake. The air would turn sweet and I would imagine sticky webs against the walls of the kitchen. Mom came home to a different delicacy each day and cursed god for the free time we both had to casually spend it on cooking. We would grin at each other sheepishly and serve her more of the day’s special.

If had more time on my hands, I would first look up a recipe online and try making it at home. Try and introduce it into our daily lives. Sometimes the experiment backfired, or went undercooked. Sometimes I gave myself a challenge to make a feast out of with the limited items at the end of the week. Whichever way I looked at it, cooking wasn’t a task. It was almost therapeutic. And it just cannot be rushed. Flavor was a secret; it lied in the hands that touch each ingredient the careful measure of masalas, and the patience that hung around the plate waiting to be served upon. And flavor was shy yet demanding; if you talk over the phone when cooking or skip a step you might as well turn the dish into something else. Cooking for just mom and me, I got used to the 2-person proportion for most dishes. When I had guests over, I got anxious doing the math. I would stress over it so much that I could feel the dish’s identity crisis. But if I went about it with some music in the background, improvised as I went along, it always turned out great. There’s another thing I learnt about cooking. Sometimes you make it others and not yourself. Those times, it’s bound to get a little tricky. While it is true to cook something to one’s taste, the method to the madness has to be yours. The more of you in it, the better it gets.  

“Love it, and it will love you back.” my grandma used to say. She didn’t realize I took words too literally. Flavor: The secret ingredient that often comes from within you and makes all the difference.

#nanowrimo #nano 2018 #nano writing #writers #writedaily #loveforwriting #wrimo #writing challenge #day5 #hunger #food #flavor #taste