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redrum-alice · 3 days

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A.B.A x Human Paracelsus fanfic ideaaaaaaaaa...

Summary: Human Paracelsus may be in a human body, but he can't help his thirst for blood. Just so happens that his wife accidentally cut her finger-- the smell of mercury doesn't stop him though :)

Warning: a bit NSFW-ish? Blood kink too-- Idk :P [Post Strive]

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After a long search, A.B.A was finally able to find a body suited for Paracelsus. Just seeing him in his new form had her madly in love again now that he has arms to wrap around her...or so she thought.

While Paracelsus "appreciated" her gesture (albeit loosely), he can't help but to feel strange about this human form- so many sensations that are too overwhelming to comprehend. Flesh that he sought after in violence now plastered on this feeble yet lean body, something A.B.A wished for. After agreeing to make things better with his partner, he took his share of work and helped A.B.A live out her domestic fantasies, starting off with cooking meals after they found an abandoned cabin.

A.B.A isn't much of a cook in terms of what she serves. She understands and quickly learns about how it works, but using ingredients that are not suited for one another is what hinders her, often cleaned up by Paracelsus so she wouldn't get upset about her mishap.

One morning, he woke up to a delicious smell. Perhaps his wife finally grasped the fundamentals of basic cooking, but he wagered it'd be a risk if he went to try her concoction blindly. Having acquired a human sense of smell and taste, he needed to exercise them with better options rather than risking it with something foul.

Heading towards the kitchen, he saw the homunculous trying her best to whip up a a meal along with piles of dirty dishes on the sink that is wordlessly assigned to him. On the table were what humans call "scrambled eggs", but it seems that it had bits of shells left on them.

But besides the whole mess, he noticed that there's something in the young woman that he didn't quite notice before he acquired a human body.

Never had he viewed her as someone who has a venusian charm; her figure could be compared to those statues of women whose arms are cut off to expose their ample bosoms. He supposed that this is a human experience, one that is alien to him, for he had never got the concept of "attraction". His so-called wife, however, had showed him examples of what it is to be attracted to someone, which what got themselves into this situation.

"Dear, you're awake!" A.B.A turned around to her husband, snaping him from his daze. "I do hope your new form is not so much of a burden..."

"I'm fine, A.B.A." he lied, not wanting to upset her.

The homunculous only responded with gleeful demeanor and returned to her task. "I'm sure you're experiencing hunger for the first time...after days of walking to find shelter." She hummed sweetly. "I-I'm trying to make something to replenish you..."

Paracelsus stayed quiet and proceeded to sit on the chair. When they entered the cabin, all the furnitures were blanketed with dust, including the table they occupied. To his surprise, it was clean and it even had a vase of fresh flowers that she must've picked outside- it was a small silent countryside after all. He assumed that A.B.A did all this while he was sleeping. He'd be lying if he didn't admit he was impressed. She did always go above and beyond to provide for them.

All of a sudden, he heard a squeal.

"Eek!" She screamed, followed by a sound of metal clanking on a wooden board.

"A.B.A! Are you alright?" Paracelsus stood up and rushed to his partner. "What happened?"

"I-it's nothing, dear..." she reluctantly responded. "Y-you should prepare the plates..."

Not buying a word, he beckoned her to show what she was hiding in her arms. A.B.A eventually complied, not wishing to disappoint her husband in fear that he would get frustrated and walk out of the door, seeing that he can now freely go anywhere he wish with those limbs. She hesitantly gave her hand to him, hoping he wouldn't think of her any less for a simple mistake of cutting her finger by accident.

"I-I should have been more careful, dear. I'm not fit to be a good wife if I keep being reckless." She shuddered, an instinct that Paracelsus know all too well when she's stressed. The crimson red substance pooled from the slit on her pale finger down to her palm.

He shouldn't have looked directly at it.

Paracelsus knew that his cravings for blood won't be diluted even if he was in a human body. He is a demon after all. But it was a strange feeling that wasn't akin to hunger, but something else. Yes, it is true that A.B.A had a mixture of mercury in her blood, but its color was as fascinating as that of a human blood.

He excused himself and wasted no time in finding a first aid kit, but the girl halted him by grabbing his arm. Paranoia was something she could not get rid of, even if it jeopardizes her in dire situations.

"No wait! I can fix it!" She insisted as she tugged on his arm, carelessly rubbing her wounded hand and letting her blood smudge on his skin. He gulped, feeling how wet and warm it seemed.

"Please dear, I can handle it! Let me wrap it myself. I'm sorry to have made you worried." A.B.A tugged on her bandanges on her leg, neverminding if it exposes her further.

All of these happening in front of him was driving him insane: his wife's intoxicating blood, her sweet panicked face, and her leg that teased him as soon as those bandages were repurposed to aid her wound.

Before she could wrap it on her hand, Paracelsus grabbed her injured hand and inspected it. What comes next was something A.B.A herself found shocking.

He licked her wound and begun sucking on it.

The sensation was so overwhelming that she was certain she nearly forgot the ability to speak. A.B.A watched in astonishment until she felt her legs wobble; only then she regained her voice.

"D-dear...?" She found herself having difficulty expressing her thoughts. Paracelsus kept sucking on her blood, not minding how it burns his tongue. What a pathetic flesh, he thought.

As if his fighting spirit also got converted into a human equivalent, he soon finds himself grabbing A.B.A closer to him and eventually trailing his free hand dangerously close to her plump ass. The young female homunculous couldn't help but to admire what her generous and loving husband is doing to her, evident by how her breathing quickened.

Soon, he carried her and pinned her down on the table. Screw the eggs, he was hungry for something this new body was craving for- her flesh. His ravenous side earning the upper hand as he starts to kiss his bride harshly on her lips, making A.B.A fluster more than she usually does. Those kisses turned into full on lip-locking, pooling their mouths with each other's saliva. His kisses soon attacked her neck, ripping off the bandanges that was blocking him from giving his sweet wife the pleasure she deserves.

It was no doubt that even in human form, he was still susceptive to primal urges such as blood, but this time, it was mixed with carnal desire.

And it seems he wasn't the only one enjoying it. A.B.A was more than eager to reciprocate this affection. She was more than ready to finally do it with her husband after years of solitude.

Oh how sweet it was to finally consumate their marriage.

Er...to be continued on ao3? This is just a stupid fanfic idea 💀🔫

Tagging @l00nwizard and @weeko bc of your replies. Sorry if this one is not too wholesome, but its a ficlet ig 💀😭🔫

#aba x paracelsus #aba & paracelsus #aba guilty gear #a.b.a x paracelsus #a.b.a guilty gear #paracelsus guilty gear #sorry im lame #im bad at stpry telling lol #ao3 fanfic #fanfic ideas

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nereidprinc3ss · 21 hours

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i know we’re all excited for part 4 coming and ofc I don’t want you to get overwhelmed but i was wondering if we could have Spencer’s POV?

in one of the scenarios, he stated that he was in falling in love for reader and it has been noticeable that he has gotten laid with more/other women in the past.

i would like to know more about how was spencer as a lover back in that time like how he felt after s*x and stuff, like a flashback or something and how his relationship with reader has changed him, his own perspective. BUT ofc, you don’t have to if you don’t want to. it’s all good if you choose to ignore this; ily. thanks for always feeding us. we love being your children💗💗

hi love i actually do have headcanons for dybmn!spence’s romantic/sexual history and idk if they’re ever going to fit into that series but i’d be happy to share them here!!

18+ under the cut/season 8 spoilers barely

so basically in my head he loses his virginity to elle greenaway (DUH) and they actually have a little bit of a relationship but the dynamic isn’t quite right because she’s going through all her own shit and at that time of spencer’s life it’s more simple for him. like she’s his first everything and he’s super in love with her but she is older and more experienced and really cares for him but knows for a lot of reasons that this wide eyed rose tinted view he has of her and their idealized relationship is never going to work out. #ILOVEELLEGREENAWAY but anyway they are never exclusive and in the dybmn universe i think he doesn’t necessarily SLEEP w lilah archer but they hook up in that pool beyond just making out mwaha but he’s just a little guy like he’s not CHEATING on elle because they’re not exclusive but she realizes she’s way too into him and that actually ends up figuring into why she leaves the BAU like yes it’s everything with her trauma too but that’s part of it because she knows she can’t sustain that relationship and being much older than him she’s the responsible party so yeah. i also think that time he visits her hotel room was maybe the last time they hooked up

after that i think he kind of develops a pattern of sleeping with women who are older/more experienced than him because he’s just used to being around older people anyway and he feels he can relate to them better and im imagining this is like seasons 2-4 spencer so it’s him and a bunch of hot 30-40 year old women (and probably men) and he’s just like a slut honestly like he’s really easy because he desperately craves affection and validation and i’d say he continues slutting himself out in that way for many seasons, but slowly with people who are more his age, probably until like around season 8 when he meets maeve and then all that shit happens and he kinda is just not into sex or romance for a long while. and i think after that he occasionally will hook up w someone but his main slut era was like seasons 2-6. (it slowed down when his migraines started but did not stop because he’s unstoppable) (he also may have had an actual relationship during this season 7 period in my mind. idk why i just sense there was someone before maeve. no i will not be providing reasoning season 7 spencer just looks like he has a girlfriend)

anyway. the number of bodies that man has is unknown. it may be a number so high we can’t conceive of it. he’s a capital doubleyew Whore unfortunately. but he’s rlly reigned it in by the time he meets reader which can be whenever you want but i picture it as being anywhere from season 9-14. and i think by the time he meets her he really is like basically celibate. like he hasn’t been with anyone by choice for a long while by the time he meets her. he is a retired slut if you will.

saliently i don’t think he ever does anything with jj. that is a purely imaginative thing for him and he lowkey has a madonna whore complex about her. i don’t think he was ever really in love with her he just loved the idea of the pretty blonde girl loving him back. but that is a whole other thing. and he’s way over it when he meets reader.

n e way those r just my silly thoughts. like i said i don’t think i’m ever gonna fit this into the actual narrative but yeah that’s what ive been imagining!!

#asks #ramblings

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king-shango-the-great · 2 days

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Unpopular Opinion:

Shango's Thoughts:

We Gotta Do Better At Getting Our Act Together

Yesterday we held a job fair at my company, where we held open interviews to walk-in candidates.

The only requirements were:

Apply for at least one job on the site

RSVP to the invite with your contact info

Come to the event with your resume & dressed for interviews.

I was one of the hiring managers (& one of the FEW Black ones), who was conducting interviews.

The girl in the pic (that I took) with her back to the door, wearing Chewbacca the Wookie boots was upset because she wasn't getting interviews.

None of the managers (myself included) refused to interview her.

One of the HR reps tried to explain to her, that she wasn't appropriately dressed for the event.

She had the nerve to ask what was wrong with the way she was dressed, & the HR rep pointed to her shoes.

She said "my shoes look damn good"....

The rep said "I'm sure they do (🙄, that shit looked goofy as fuck), but they are not appropriate attire for this hiring event".

She got mad, talking about some "we're discriminating against her" (which wasn't true; the lady across from her was appropriately dressed, & she got 2 interviews--one from me, & one from another manager).

We finally had to ask her to leave the building. Granted, she wasn't the only one there that was no appropriately dressed, but she was the most disrespectful one.

This stuff happens all the time. If you can't follow basic instructions (especially in my prifession), then you will not get past the first steps.

Most of this comes from Negropeans that come dressed like they just rolled out of bed (alot of the other races don't do this) but most of those are younger people.

And it's not just women, it's the guys too. Wearing bright red Jordan's to an interview. These folks spend meticulous time trying to look like Ronald McDonald, & then wonder why that's the only place that will hire them.

If you can spend whatever amount of money to buy shoes that look like you are auditioning for a Rap video, then you can spend a fraction of that amount & go to TJ Maxx & buy a decent pair of interview shoes 👞 to be prepared to enter various venues & be successful in them.

It's not even rocket science. Putting together a basic wardrobe should not be difficult.

But folks have let ✌🏿urban culture✌🏿 dictate their entire existence, so they don't know how to function in other venues. They come in wearing gold teeth, bright colors, tats on their face, & shirts with obnoxious messages on them.

And its not just the aesthetics; their demeanor is terrible. The language they use, zero mannerisms, etc.

What needs to be learned, is nobody is going to accept you, because theres no rule that says nobody has to.

#Unpopular Opinion #Shango's Thoughts

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hiaon · 1 day

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How bout oc x male robot reader?

Reader is a robot made to make life easier for other people, basically cleaning, cooking, teaching, etc. but there's a hidden feature that allows him to help people with sexual needs.

All bots are unique, cuz people get to customize them, from their hair to their clothes, but something that not many people know is that you can customize their dick size and tightness.

Male robots are programmed to be tops and female bots to be bottoms. But Oc manages to make reader a bottom somehow?

Bots are also really humanoid from their body to their personality, mean they can 'feel' pleasure.

My sweet angel

Programmer!Oc x Robot!BottomMale!Reader

Better late than never right? Btw don't be shy writing a request because sometimes I have a lot of motivation but also, no idea what to write at all 🥸.

Disclaimer: Sexual intercourse, & Dacryphilia

There is this company that grew a lot since it changed a lot of lives of the people a lot.

The company ' RoboNet ' grew because of their futuristic bots. It's decades advanced to other robots, and human like bots that you customize to your liking.

Either having it as a male or female. Long hair or short.. Even how they look like you can customize, it set the world on a storm on wanting one. Even one of this bots can make you famous in social media, so you'll be getting your money back when you buy the bot.

Their freakishly human like attitude, and actions left a huge mark on the lives of others for the better.. It also left a huge mark on the adult content industry.

Not only they can do whatever you want with the robots body.. The robots have a special system that only adults have access, their program is pretty simple.

The women is always bottom, and the man is always top. And, Elliot. He didn't like that, I mean sure it was fine for others, but no options for sexually frustrated gay man like him. So today, in his basement and has extensive knowledge about these types of robots because his brother is the lead programmer of the robots that RoboNet has.

Basically, he begged for his brother to teach him how to code such futuristic bots.

So now he is literally coding the man from his dream, and his brother got a model— You. — For being promoted being the lead programmer. His brother didn't really need it so he customize to Elliot's type. (He had a whole list to perfect you)

His brother pulled some strings to make changes that the other male bots didn't have, and also his brother knows how freaky is little bro is now.

He specifically tell his brother not to code you because he knows how and what he will make you become. You.

Finally, he's done coding. He's so ready to meet his literally ideal partner.

And finally the moment he have been waiting for, opening ideal partner.

*TURNING ON*

"Please Choose a Name." You said, and Elliot was just shocked because that how he imagine you sounding like!

"Y/n" Elliot said, nervous.

"Thank you for choosing a name, Please wait." Elliot is practically scratching to just hold you, just sitting there opening up for him.. I mean literally.

You finally opened your eyes, and looked at Elliot.

"Hello... Uhm." You avoided your eyes from him because he was just starting so much. Yes, Elliot noticed.

"Oh! Sorry about that, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. M-my name is Elliot." Elliot already wants you so much because you we're literally what he was longing for for so long..

From head to toe, to how you talk in act, and just how you're there just fiddling your thumbs, sitting there.

"It's okay." You said, Damn. Elliot doesn't know what to do, he didn't really came in prepared. He was just so excited to have a chat with you, literally his dream man.

But then he remembered, he programmed you to really like baking. Like really like it.

"Uhm.. D-do you want to bake with me?" Elliot feels like he is an highschool girl that asking out her crush on out a date. Elliot is already feels embarrassed Infront of his ideal partner.

He saw your eyes sparkle, and he was holding for his self-control even second that your with him. His heart is going to explode from all of this happening.

"I would love to bake with you." You finally looked into his eyes.

Elliot knew this was going to be a little bit harder to contain himself with you, but he knew it isn't going to be for long.

When baking, the tention surrounding you two earlier melted down into two people just baking and having fun. But this situation didn't really stop Elliot for having a boner from time to time, because you kept reminding him on how much he wanted you.

And now, and finally, this was his last straw when he got some cream in his mouth and you decided it was a good idea it lick it.

Wait, did he programmed you to do such sly things?

After that, Elliot couldn't handle it anymore and bend you over the counter.

"Ugh! I'm sorry.! I didn't mean to lick it.." You we're embarrassed that you we're being bent over in the kitchen counter.

"Then why did you lick it then?" Honestly, Elliot is smiling so hard like a highschool girl got to go to prom with her crush.. You really are perfect for him.

"I don't.. know.." You said just trying to avoid his eyes, but you can't because you are stuck with him bending you in the counter. Also, you didn't know why you licked him! You just went for it when you saw you had a chance..

Elliot is smiling like an idiot, and even blushing on how you blush. Like, wow it looks actually like human being blushing. His brother did a good job!

"Is it okay if I have sex with you?" He just have to make sure, because consent is the best thing for a first time.

"Erm.. S-sure.." You we're blushing so hard, especially your ears. They are angry red, and Elliot finds that adorable. You're so perfect.

Elliot didn't waste time in taking off his pants and your shorts, and holy crap your ass is huge. Ahem! Anyways—

Elliot couldn't resist on slapping your ass, he was mesmerized, it looks like it moves like jelly. It earned an surprised squeal from you.

He became harder because of the sound you made, and your body was made to leak out of your ass and of course your member. But this is probably on of the first kind it's kind that they have made,

His brother really our done himself by doing this for his younger bro. Elliot will be forever be in his debt. Since you looked ready and all lubed up,(with your own lube-like liquid coming out of your ass) he entered.

When he entered, you definitely need to get used to his size. After all this was your very first day and he didn't even controled himself when you just licked his face. You just know a lot of stuff will happened like this in the future.

"Are you okay-?" "Y-yes I'm fine... You can m-move now" Y/n cuts him off, he wanted him to start already.

Even if Elliot was a little experienced (he mostly spend time masturbating to random pornography.) He exactly knows what to do to you in this situation, his only goal is to make you feel good.

So he did what you asked for, he started off slow, when he saw that you we're handling it well he started to go faster. Now it got to the point where you we're moaning a lot, and he liked that so he kept speed steady.

"Uhg..n! Y-your so perfect Y/n!" You may have not heard him because you we're to cock drunk to even thing at that ever moment, but if you did you would have be blushing hard again.

"Y-you look so p-pretty! Ugh.! Being fucked l-like this haaa.." He truly meant ever damn words that was just randomly being thrown at you.

He noticed you we're crying, but you didn't say anything, so he thought it was out of pleasure. Fuck, he like— no. Loves seeing you like this. He wanted to see more so he broke the pace by being even faster.

That set up to be the right thing to do because he got what he wanted. You we're crying because of to much pleasure, and the moaning surely was currently being heard by the poor neighbors.

"So fa-fast! Ahg!" You moaned while pretty tears fall perfectly from your eyes.

5 minutes have pasted and you are finally getting ready to let out his load. As well as Elliot. Elliot didn't expect you to hold out for this long for him, he was so proud of you.

"Ugh.! Ima 'bout to come.! Ha..." You moaned out to him.

"T-then come my baby boy." When he said that you came, and he came after.

He bathed you and made you drink water because caring for your loved once is always good. You need rest so he carried you to bed.

"Good night my sweet angel" Kissed your forehead and lips. Because only one kiss is a bummer.

You two slept like babies.

#oc x male reader #x male reader #x you #oneshot #gay #male reader smut #smut #bxb

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good-to-drive · 8 days

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Not to start shit but there's no non-misogynistic explanation for hating Pattie or Jane

#i guess you could say the same about cyn or mo but no one seems to hate them #it's just the women who stand up for themselves who we want to villify #because omgosh you not wanting to be treated like absolute shit really hurt Paul's feelings :((((#bc as a woman it's your calling to absorb cruelty from ✨special✨ men so they have more time and mental energy to be special little boys #sorry i had an irl conversation about jane that filled me with rage #saying you wouldn't have left 1960s era paul doesn't mean you're super nice and loving and special and better than jane #you're not a loving beacon of tender femininity #you have low self esteem #just the way ppl try to twist it to make jane a bad person just for wanting some basic decency and respect....#if she and pattie did a bunch of fucked up shit that i dont know about please enlighten me #bc all the judgement i see comes from unhinged Beatles fans who can't accept their fav has a history of treating women like shit #(and that they probably continued to have those tendencies even in their fairytale romances)#the beatles #jane asher #pattie boyd #paul mccartney #george harrison

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snekdood · 2 years

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yall are willing to die for trans women and not trans men and we should talk about it actually

#transandrophobia #you'll do anything to protect trans women but dont have that same energy for trans men. interesting.#anyways i think the reason this is is bc ppl like this think bc we're men we dont need to be helped or protected #that somehow we should have figured out how to do this on our own. that we dont need community bc we're already solid and tough enough #which is weird like. how are you trans friendly but then you dont do any other basic progressive shit like #getting rid of gender roles entirely instead of now instead applying them to trans people also? ??#like you dont get to be all 'men should express their emotions and be vulnerable' and then reinforce the traditional gender roles on-#trans men still. like have you or havent you decondtructed that shit in your head or did you iust see someone reblog something that seema #correct w/o even doing any critical thinking or self reflecting or anything on your end at all #i didnt suddenly become made of rock and become invulnerable when i transitioned. bc that narrative for men in general is inaccurate-#and harmful. and even if i did become super buff and capable of mowing down my enemies that wouldnt mean i dont suddenly need community #that doesnt mean i become immune to bullets or that i dont need a space to express my emotions regarding being trans n shit #like yall really just want to leave us out here to die it seems like. we have nowhere to go. no real community bc yall wont give us the #time of day or compassion or anything. you think 'men bad' and thats the deepest your political analysis goes as far as im concerned.#and if thats the case how much better are you than a terf who just decided they were 'okay' with trans women?#p sure this post was inspired from a trans guy literally being a meat shield for other trans ppl and no one gave a fuck.

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white-weasel · 8 months

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Seeing everyone praise an author in the comments of a TikTok and I’m wondering if I just read one of her duds or if I just didn’t “get it”

#I’m gonna give the author the benefit of the doubt because tbf the one I read I don’t remember having an issue with the actual writing #moreso I just felt that the concept of the book could have been good but was instead just rehashing famous mistreated women in comics #fuck it I’ll be more clear here and say names and titles #the book I read is the refrigerator monologues #by Catherynne Valente #and idk I was so excited about the premise of wronged women meeting up in the afterlife and getting to interact and engage with each other #but what it actually was was basically just rehashing actual stories of women comic book characters and how they were wronged #with very little interaction between them #like I definitely appreciate what the book was trying to do but I feel like since all the characters are parodies of marvel/dc female charas #there wasn’t enough actual new-ness injected into their backstories #I guess if you view the book as more a collection than a novel it’s better but ehhhh I just feel like I go crazy when I see every review #about this book praise it so extensively #and any bad review is just ‘feminism bad’ which is NOT why I don’t like the book #anyways rant over this is incomprehensible lol #tbd probs #white weasel talks

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otakusapien · 4 months

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I would love to have an actual swim suit for the first time in 7 years, but it has been impossible to find a swimsuit that will both give me support and keep my boobs from popping out if I try to do anything but sunbathe

#One-pieces? No support whatsoever and have to fit the proportions of my whole body #Bikini tops? Held together with dental floss and have no coverage #Could I just have one built like a bra and not like a big necklace made of tissue paper?#Even the ones with underwire and padding have no back to them only string #The tankinis I've found aren't much better and usually don't have support #I'm also trying to find both winter boots and dress shoes right now #Don't get me started on trying to find extra wide women's shoes ESPECIALLY when they're not uber basic sneakers #At least shoes I'm more willing to buy online I am NOT buying a swimsuit without trying it on

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bluesadansey · 2 months

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remembering on my circa 2017 booklr I used to tell people to read Gemma Doyle by describing it as trc but with an all girls boarding school / all girl group in a historical setting… I was trying to do the lord’s work she deserved tumblr fame

#I do think that was an oversimplification of both but. Not totally off base there are some similar char tropes used I’m proud of past me for #the attempt. Also I think I’m going to start advocating for Diviners in that way now that trc fandom is apparently quite miserable post GW #you like gay people doing dream magic? you like witchcraft and ghosts and strong ensemble casts?#you like an ambitious abuse survivor getting a healing arc with learning to control magic/psychic abilities as a metaphor? you like four #book series where the first three books rock and the last book which is named king + corvid is a bit underwhelm who said that?#a positive point in diviners favor is Ling x Wei Mei >>>> RonanKavinsky. Generally find the take on dream magic in diviners more compelling #(although LingHenry + RonanHennessy both being mlm wlw duos who are the dreamers is kinda fun)#anyway. This is not actually a fair comparison because Ling is my fav or at least top two w Theta of the leads and I love Ronan but he is m #least favorite of the trc leads of which there are four all of whom I love so it says nothing bad about him. But it does put me as an #outlier re: fandom priorities..#on the flip side while I love diviners dynamics sadly I don’t think they ever come anywhere close to Gangsey levels of extreme codependency #so I can not care quite as much….#from what I remember the girls in Gemma Doyle are a lot more codependent good for them. Would have to reread to compare codependency levels #Ling and Theta are both my favorite in diviners in the same way Blue and Adam are my favorite in trc and Abed and Annie are both my fav for #community. basically one char who I love and overidentify with (Ling/Blue/Abed) and one char I love who in many ways I’m not like #but in a handful of very niche specific ways I also relate quite a bit. And am fascinated with (Theta/Adam/Annie)#s speaks #very off topic from my initial point which was you should read Libba Bray’s books #and in both cases I have a second and a half tier fav (Evie/Gansey/Britta) who I love fictionally but if I was trapped in a room w them I’d #kill myself. with the white blonde women I’d also want to make out w them debatable if that makes it better or worse #but like. I could not stand listening to them speak for that long I know this #Gansey might just die a third time by my hands…

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maddy-ferguson · 2 months

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in october i read my brilliant friend by elena ferrante and then the story of a new name by elena ferrante and then those who leave and those who stay by elena ferrante and then the story of the lost child by elena ferrante and i was like i hadn't loved a book like this since i was like 16 will i ever find anything i like this much ever again. and i still haven't i don't even really enjoy her other books

#the english titles are so awkward like i kind of get it because the og doesn't have the story in the title for the first book either and i #understand not doing the story of those who leave and those who stay very long. but in french there's no the story of for any of them and #it's much better!#and like i say: brf slt #by december 1st i had read all 4 books twice like i was so obsessed #i haven't watched the show yet i want to i just haven't but i want to i think i will like after i finish watching what i'm watching rn i #hope i like it #and i've read other books i really enjoyed i've read other books i loved. but none that i connected with like that💔#but anyway. i've read basically all her other novels i read troubling love first since that was her first novel i was like hm. then i read #the lying life of adults and i actually really enjoyed it for maybe the first half or for like two thirds of the book like it had potential #and then? i don't know what happened. the last 50 pages especially made me so mad i was like literally what is this. why do we care about #this why are you ending the novel on this??/!?.#then i read the days of abandonment because i wanted to see if i liked it! i did not. i liked it more than troubling love but less than the #lying life of adults. i just started reading the lost daughter today because i'm a completionist and i'm actually liking it fine maybe #because i've seen the movie so i knew what to expect? idk. but it's so frustrating like the neapolitan novels were literary perfection to #me and her other novels are like very average i don't even enjoy them and they're all short like less than 200 pages (except for the lying #life of adults) that's why i finished them and kept reading them. i was also just curious like why am i not liking it!!!!#but i actually know why it's maybe two different things? the neapolitan novels are about two women it's about their relationship and theres #a lot of things about men in the books but still it's all about the two girls while the others are all about one main woman?#except the lying life of adults which is about a girl and her aunt and i think that's why i liked it more at the beginning.#there's that and there's maybe also the fact that we start in my brilliant friend when they're kids and then we see them grow up whereas #in her other books it's like adult women going through...something. again except for the lying life of adults. i didn't #like that one for different reasons it's different because it's from after the neapolitan novels the others are from before. but anyway #it's not like i'm incapable of reading books about adults but yeah i think the coming of age aspect is what made me me like my brilliant #friend and sequels so much like especially in relation to boys and men like just the way it goes is so good. like lila marrying redacted.#very bad but yk it's just all very good #and i also just don't like the style as much? like there's some things i liked or thought were okay+ in the neapolitan novels that are much #more prominent in her other works and when it's not in lila and elena's story it's just not good to me like it's actually bad #anyway. i'm halfway through the lost daughter because it's only 176 pages long and i'm actually having an okay time. but yeah #and it's been less than six months it's not like it's a lost cause or anything and i HAVE read other books i REALLY liked but...

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slocumjoe · 11 months

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hey uhhh i went thru ur oc post history and u said gus set himself on fire?? pls context

I love this character because whenever someone asks about him I always have to take a deep breath and get comfortable and suck a breath in through my teeth. I treat him so poorly

More Gus lore, because that specific event is actually tied to the very first event that would fuck him up forever, so I can't really talk about it without going in depth.

This is explaining the core tenent of Augustijn's story, which is guilt and its dangers. Basically, where that constant guilt came from, and how it...turned out for him...

It turns out okay. Just...takes 200+ years, an apocalypse, a divorce, and his son dying! 🥳Yay🥳

Tw; Religious trauma, child abuse, suicide, drug use, cannibalism, mental illnesses, and yet another suicide attempt.

So, some background, Gus's mom, Emma, was a fanatic catholic and generally Bat Shit about religion. As you might imagine, this is the Direct Source of both Gus' questionable worldviews, traumas, and his biological inclination to uuuhhh bad Head Times.

Emma was raised mildly religious, but she...took to it too hard? Her family was not the cause of her obsession, Gus's grandparents and uncles/aunts over there actually cut her off at one point, because she was starting to worry them but reaching out led to her lashing out. So, they just...backed off. Emma herself was a simple, homebody woman, who wanted to be at home raising her kids, and tending her garden. She would have been this way even without the religious thing.

But Emma and her side of the family were prone to addiction, see? And religion became her point of fixation and obsession. This could have still been okay, if not for the church she went into. A catholic church in the Hague that was known by all for being kind of fucking out there, even by other hardcore Catholics. This was one she went into, and even her grandchild 240+ years later would feel the ripple of this decision.

Emma goes into church and gets gnarly ideas about how life works. Its a woman's duty to have kids and raise them, to be good to her husband and her house, to listen and obey her men. Sin is inevitable and everyone does it, only those that admit and accept punishment can get another chance at Paradise. God knows every action you take and he does not care for the context, he only cares about the action. There is no "well, but" under the Lord.

Emma has mental illness, some kind of depression and anxiety, so this Big Brother Watching And Judging fucked her up. Especially since her church, in particular, was physically abusive if you did not confess to anything during confession. They thought if you had nothing to confess, you were lying.

At this point, she's met and engaged to Theodore Reinier, a rich heir to a European manufacturing company. He's pretty, a gentleman, and best of all, rich, so she can have as big and luxurious a garden as she wants. She likes him. She does not love him. She's in her twenties and unmarried with no kids, and her poor family needs to be taken care of. So she marries him. Theodore is smart enough to see this for what it is, and kind enough to allow it. He lets his wife do her own thing and treats her as a friend, rather than a lover. She hates this, she wants to be a wife (she doesnt). She wants kids, he gives her one. Augustijn. This birth goes rough, and she's told no more children.

Theodore makes one rule; August goes to a different church, or he does not go at all. Theo really didn't like Emma's church and he certainly wasn't exposing his kid to that shit.

Emma pretends to agree and takes Gus to That Church. Theo doesn't attend, so he doesn't know this is happening until much later. Gus gets all the same nasty shit Emma does. Theo learns of this when he sees Gus covered in bruises from confession beatings. This puts a huge rift between him and Emma, and he pulls all the strings he can to have her church shut down.

Emma grows to resent and hate Theo and Augustijn for not being the perfect husband and child she deserves as a good, God fearing house wife. Augustijn is left to his nannies, Emma hides away in her private garden, fuming. Theodore tries to bond with his son, but Emma's poisoned that well.

Emma tells Augustijn about demons, to fear them. She specifically tells him about church grims, demons that hunt around churches in the form of a dog to drag sinners to hell. She says this as she's admiring her new obsidian dog statues for her garden.

Eventually, Emma goes yellow wallpaper and loses her mind, and is sent to therapy and put on medications. Augustijn loathes his father for his mother's state. Theodore just wants his friend and son okay. But Emma, as she's out in town, coming back from therapy, she stops at a friend's house while the friend isn't there, and hooks up with the woman's husband. Friend's husband was stern, strict with his wife, God fearing, and generally an obnoxious 50s ideal shithead husband. Everything Emma wanted. This wasn't out of nowhere, it was brewing in the background. She knew both of them from her old church.

Emma goes home, and finally having a reason for the guilt that's always plagued her, elects to acknowledge her sin. She drowns herself in the pond of her garden, stared down by three dark, ruby-eyed dogs, overseeing her passage into the afterlife. Her young son comes into the garden to meet his mother, after she's been gone all day, only to find her in a red pool. He looks up into the eyes of the dogs. He remembers nothing of this incident, blocking it out and having been too young to understand.

Years pass, and Augustijn turns to drugs as well, though his come from the darkest parts of the Hague, rather than a doctor. He turns to sex, to crime, to anything he thinks will either corrupt him so much he doesn't care, or will finally make his guilt feel justified. He wears his mother's cross necklace through it all, and sees her beloved dog with every sin.

Augustijn goes to America for college, to Harvard, studying to become a pastor himself. (This is maybe the most terrifying part of him, the fact that he almost got it). But he doesn't feel satisfied with it, has a moment of clarity and realizes he isn't fit to preach anything. The grim certainly doesn't think so. He instead follows his only friend, Isadora, into the military. The US government allowing their soldiers to do chems means his failed drug tests don't matter.

Augustijn becomes a sniper. He has always hurt people, excelled in it, but taking life frightens him, because he knows he has no right to decide who lives or dies, not like this. But he's in China, and he's told to kill. He does, and he's very good at it. His teammates marvel at just how scrappy and determined he is, like a weed, a mold.

The Biandukou Pass Incident occurs. He eats his entire team, trapped in a Chinese mountain range during a blizzard.

Delirious from almost two months of surviving on nothing but psycho and human flesh, Augustijn is let loose back into Boston, honorably discharged. His lingering hallucinations from his Daytripper addiction, mixed with psycho withdrawal, trauma, guilt, shame, the fear of God—everything culminates. He looks up and sees the figure that has haunted him since that one, awful day; the church grim, staring expectantly.

His mother drowned herself, so he thought it fitting if he set himself ablaze.

#ss; alter #I hate to put a word to his specific illness because you always get people like 'this isnt what i think this is like so pls die'#but i imagine he'd be diagnosed with hppd #hallucinogen persisting perception disorder. basically lingering effects of hallucinogenics after use #the point of emma is that she did not ever see past the shit #Augustijn gradually learns how to reject his guilt and view himself objectively #and comes to see how he was hurt and how he hurt others. and accepts that he has a right to feel hurt but an obligation to be better #emma doesnt. she never would have even if she survived her attempt #its like. you only feel guilt because its a concept put into you #and emma taught him guilt. always feel dirty and shameful.#but. she didnt feel guilty. not really. she was confident in all of her actions and never once hesistated #she thought it was guilt just because she knew how it would look to other people. thats not guilt thats awareness.#she wasnt guilty she feared repercussions.#meanwhile her son grew up always ashamed and horrified at himself and was desperate for any kind of comeuppance #not to make it okay because he knew it wouldn't. but because he deserved it #accountability and justice are also big concepts in gus' character. the idea that someone becoming better and earnestly doing it #is better and more worthwhile than them suffering for their actions. this comes up with the Institute and Isadora #anyway if any of you come at me bitching about portaying a woman as abusive im biting #'joe no one does fhat' they literally do. its happened to me before. yall say you support womens wrongs until theyre abusive moms #anyway. fun fact; being beaten during confessions is why gus cant admit when hes done wrong for like 30 years. its a trauma/trigger #gus really is just. 'how do i process what happened to me without losing my mind'#and he lost his mind. but he does everything he can to find it again. because he doesnt want to feel this way anymore

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