#because i was like RED FLAG RED FLAG RED FLAG the whole time

[anthurak]

Okay so this is actually part of a much longer (series of) post(s) detailing/speculating on what I'm calling 'Ruby's and Yang's Family Reckoning' in Volume 10 and beyond, but I thought it'd be fun to throw this up as it's own little thing for now:

I actually completely understand WHY some fans keep defending Tai as a 'good'/'not-actually-a-total-fuckup' parent.

Because the show/writers are actually pulling a long-game, subversive narrative rug-pull with Tai just like they did with Ozpin, Ironwood and Qrow.

Think about it; Tai is introduced early on in the story as the seemingly 'Good Dad'. And he certainly LOOKS that way on the surface, given his lack of typical 'shitty dad' traits he see so often in stories. He's even first mentioned alongside what SEEMS to be a typical 'Bad Mom' who left her kids in Raven.

Just like Ozpin, Qrow and Ironwood were introduced as similar 'good-guy' archetypes; the Wise Teacher, the Quirky Mentor and the Heroic Soldier.

All while planting NUMEROUS and evergrowing hints, clues and red flags in the margins, between the lines and just outside our audience field of view, all in preparation for when the story is ready to yank the proverbial rug out from under both the audience AND our heroines that the adults they've been trusting this whole time are actually MASSIVE screw-ups who have been making a mess of everything.

The hints to Ozpin's general shadiness, the clues to Qrow's self-destructive alcoholism and depression, the red-flags that Ironwood was actually on the fast-track to fascism, and all the indicators that Tai was actually a complete and total fuck-up of a dad.

The only difference with Tai is that the show hasn't decided to shine the light of narrative focus ON all of his numerous problems and fuckups and force our heroines to confront them like it already has with Ozpin and Qrow in Volume 6, and Ironwood in Volume 7.

At least, not YET.

And do you remember how we actually had plenty of people who MISSED all those hints, clues and red flags surrounding Ozpin, Qrow and Ironwood? Specifically people who were denying that those meant anything right up until the moment they DID mean something?

Yeah, I'm not actually surprised at all we're seeing the same thing with Taiyang.

#rwby #rwby analysis #rwby theory #taiyang xiao long #character parallels #ozpin #qrow branwen #james ironwood #archetype subversion

[riririnnnn]

Plsplsplsplspls make headcanons for charles if you have the time UR WRITING IS JUST SO GOOD??

YO??? This was unexpected since I rarely write here. Well, I can't understand what type of headcanons you want, so I'm writing all three: Silly; As a romantic partner, and Red Flags.

-> Silly

He doesn't mind farting in front of everyone in the locker's room and then blames whoever he feels like for blaming. He'd even add a top-notch acting of being grossed out like, "What are you doing, dude? Have some manners!"

He has definitely pulled down someone's pants right in the middle of the Blue Lock's cafeteria and then ran away cackling like the little shit he is.

He pulls prank on a daily basis and the main victim of them is Tokimitsu. He tried pranking Zantetsu, but lost interest because that fake glasses boy never even understood his pranks in the first place.

He has never quietly entered that communal bathhouse bathtub (or whatever that is). He always dives or bodyslams into the water—he once nearly cracked open his skull while doing a summersault, but he never learns his lessons.

Loki put him on a child leash during the flight to Japan. He also threw a tantrum to sit on a window seat, but then whined later because he could only see clouds.

-> As a romantic partner

Loyal. Very loyal. In fact, he is so loyal that he legit finds every other person ugly except you. He is so, so whipped for you to the point he physically gags thinking about someone else.

He is definitely the guy to be at a party or anywhere else and suddenly, he misses you and drops everything to go running back to wherever you are.

Just forget personal space and breathing when you are with him because he is going to shower you with so many kisses on your face that you'll actually suffocate.

Little spoon or big spoon? He doesn't care as long as he can have his head on your chest. Your calming lub-dub of your heartbeat is the mellowest lullaby for him.

If you cook or bake something and send it for his WHOLE team, then I promise you, he isn't giving a single crumb to anyone. He is inhaling everything doesn't matter if he gets stomachache later because of overeating—it's worth it, according to him.

-> Red Flags

Be honest, we all saw it coming—yes, he is very immature. Everything is a joke to him and though at first, his personality may prevent fights and arguements, but in a longer run, it becomes draining because he doesn't take anything seriously.

If you don't find any of his 'interests' as interesting, then he'll whine and whine until you give in to his demands. However, he won't do the same for you if he isn't interested in your 'interests'. He'll just act indifferent.

He doesn't know anything about periods and he actually doesn't even try to learn about it. Even when you'll try to educate him about it, he would show no efforts and might even say that, "Girls are so dramatic."

He might indirectly, and maybe even unintentionally, humiliate you in public by talking about you in a crude or inappropriate way. Even when he is called out for it, he just thinks he is being funny.

When you'll break up with him, he'll defame your character in public. He'll make you look like the bad person, spread false rumours about you being unfaithful and will make sure his fans harasses you.

That's all, I guess.

It's a bit tough to write about him without making him seem OOC, to be honest.

I hope the above headcanons make sense.

#blue lock #bllk #blue lock headcanons #bllk headcanons #charles chevalier #雪 writing

[babsisbakery]

How far will you take it?

Lia Wälti x fem!reader part 1

Do you love me or do you love that you have a gf. That you aren't single. That you don't have to spend nights alone. Someone in your arms or someone to hold you. Would you love me if i wasn’t ur gf or just when I am. Maybe you just love the idea of love but don't actually love me. Or maybe you only “love” me because you are bored and have nobody else. I'm just here and showed you affection, so you took it. Took it, to be in a relationship, to get as close as possible to actual love. In reality it isn't though. It's just a fantasy you create. But what about me?

You love being in relationships. Exes of you have warned me, multiple, so so many. I ignore your red flags. As if I had a red and green colour deficiency. I give and I give, do I receive anything in return? No. Because you need, want the affection. But when I need it, you are nowhere to be seen. When I'm clingy or want some attention. You take your sweet time responding. Time away from me.The cold shoulder, silent treatment, no response after I shoot a text. Even Duolingo messages me more than you and that's sad to admit.

I'm wondering if you leave me on-read on purpose too. I know you do sometimes on insta. Why's that? Did I offend you? Lia, you leave me with crumbs. Crumbs of your existence. Which I absorb like a greedy vacuum. This isn't healthy. It makes my mind spiral every night. Wondering if you love me. Wondering if you are cheating. Wondering if you have found the one but stay with me out of convenience. No-one in a relationship should have to wonder if their partner loves them, yet here I am. You give me almost nothing. Stop messing with my feelings, don't drag me around if you don't feel the same. Let me find someone who does in fact love me if you don't. I want a relationship where both sides give 100 percent. A balance. Yet still all my words fall to dull ears, Words spoken to someone who doesn't want to change or listen. Someone who wants to live their life to the fullest, but why drag me into this chaos of a life. 

So either you get a grip of yourself or I'm done. I'll not only leave you but Arsenal as well. I wouldn't be able to look you in the eyes. So I'm giving you an ultimatum. Yes, like one in the show but without a ring, I want to sense your commitment. Because those restless nights are plaguing my brain. I want to become a mother eventually and for that I need a partner. If it's you or not, I can't foresee. If you can't imagine a future with me, then don't. I'll go. I'll be gone. Just say the words. I’ll be out of your hair once and for all.

- Your dear friend/gf

This is the letter Lia found on the counter top after returning from a cruel training session. Lia sat down on the sofa, still in her gym clothes. She initially assumed it was some sort of grocery list, she wanted to ignore it. But something in her mind nagged her to take a better look. She was shocked and ashamed of herself. She had really broken you. This wasn't in her plans, to destroy your whole being. She simply wanted to have some fun, have you as her girl. Yet there wasn't a trace of you. Not in this apartment, albeit your belongings were still at their places, nor in training today. Now she knew the reason why you were out of sight this evening. You are gone for now. Somewhere you felt loved and cherished. She had led you to exile with one foot in the door. The question is will Lia convince you to stay or will she set you free to be at peace? Which path will she choose?...

#woso #woso imagine #woso x reader #arsenal women #lia walti #lia wälti #lia walti x reader #lia walti imagine #arsenal wfc #awfc x reader #awfc imagine #awfc

[thebirdandhersong]

i personally think there was no need to make remarks about age

#i dont need to feel any more ashamed about this when i shouldn't feel ashamed about this in the first place #because three years is not a HUGE difference. it IS an age gap but it isn't a GIGANTIC red flag-waving age gap. #but i guess for a guy it is if the girl is older #but anyway man it was comment after comment line after line and i felt like i was standing in front of a firing squad #not gonna lie my whole chest literally hurts when i think about it too deeply! #i have literally never been told before that i'm not an option because i'm too old #i also personally (and this is a bit bitter of me to say so maybe) i resent the fact that he did take the time to tell me that he was not #personally attracted to me. and then add at the end of the conversation that if i were younger he'd consider it #like. you literally told me you don't like me that way and aren't attracted to me that way #so the only reason you'd consider me as an option really is the fact that you know I'M interested in you ???? #anyway makes me want to throw up:) #the waiting room chapter

[bibiana112]

There's nothing wrong with people having their dearest most specialest blorbo be Eric ztd it is unironically good for the ecosystem and I always love seeing the different perspectives from other fans but what I am here today to ask is why is no one like that about Mira. whatever happened to feminism.

#every categorically insane man in this series has their dedicated fans and every popular character also has a bunch of red flags so like #to be fair no one's too crazy about Lotus or Alice either hm like people either outright dislike them conceptually because of their designs #or you know just have an appreciation for them as characters but not quite focusing on them much at all #like me #and like are the tropes that make up her character problematic? yeah! that didn't stop y'all from liking Saito a whole lot #now he's better woven into the narrative of the game he's in but then my point's back to Eric lol #like it is just fucking ludicrous the amount of stuff in the whole Series not to mention the game Alone that she's responsible for #but it does feel disconnected (being responsible for the Kurashiki's parents deaths) #frustrating (being responsible for injecting Phi whith Rad-6) #and overall just kinda glossed over? (beheading Junpei and killing off D-Team that one time because she was in cahoots with Zero) #so like I get why people wouldn't like her she's a bad plot device but THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING #THAT'S NOT REALLY STOPPING ANYONE and it's not even like people are very vocal about hating her either #at most I've seen it be lumped in with some major complains about the game like as a whole #the way we find out so early she's a serial killer it's kinda shocking but not really? it ends up as just kinda ridiculous and underwhelming #imo that's the whole game but again even when it comes to people who Do Like this game #anyways free to reblog I Do wanna talk about this but I am absolutely Not putting this in the tag lmao could you imagine #like is the trope of having one big booba female character per game and for it to be a Defining Characteristic kinda not great? yeah #but also like shrug #we've let Uchikosh get away with worse

[trevanent]

I think one thing I will say about the finale was that the most problematic aspect of the concept of the show was how it feels like they had to use the Fionna and Cake plot to Trojan horse a resolution to a swathe of loose ends Simon and Betty's arcs had. They pulled it off even better than I ever wanted to let myself hope for for the most part but I would say my main issue if anything was how cramped the finale felt when I think they could have left a lot more up to season 2 speculations (especially with the resolutions for the alt universes, they didn't really feel necessary when they basically just had to egg Scarab).

I feel I liked the understated melancholies of seeing Simon recontextualized and kinda infantilized in that temporary form hosting his mind, and some people have said the Casper and Nova thing felt hamfisted but I thought the vibes were too cute to care that it wasn't particularly "efficient" as far as metaphors go, but that does slow down the pace which probably crunched the ending a little harder :'). But it also worked in further showing the sad side-effect of the crown on Simon's relationships, including that of stunting his ability to have ever matured in his understandings of love and his relationship with Betty. I also think their last scene in the memory worked because it was Simon reconsidering how he viewed their relationship for the first time, even if his attempt to do for Betty what she did for him would have just been an inversion of their original flaw, the scene rests on them understanding it's unchangeable anyway, so that decision doesn't matter so much and it's not something for Simon to dwell on.

I also feel I liked the scene a lot in spite of how scarce it felt in the finale was because of what was most conspicuously unaddressed, which was just the sheer logistical impossibility of any different choices they made having possibly been any "better." It sticks out because Betty says they could have made better choices, which kinda seems to situate their relationship in a vacuum as if there wasn't a very high likelihood had they done anything different at that crossroads, they would have just been literally nuked into orbit regardless. Sure, it seems like enough time had passed for them to have worked out their relationship better at least and then died, but that kinda seems better by an arbitrarily less tragic amount, and really it seems the least tragic possibilities ever were either that they conceive their relationship more healthily, Simon finds the crown and protects Betty from exploding somehow and also doesn't warp her to the future, and they live some terrible survival life but at least they get a chance to live something kinda fulfilling and Betty probably would have taken care of Ice King decently for the remainder of her life once Simon was gone while also having a better understanding of what had happened to him. The only other hand would be that she also was still warped to the future he finds the crown but Simon had not enabled her self-sacrificial tendencies and so she becomes less undividedly obsessed with saving him and instead integrates into Ooo more properly and also accepts what had become of him (I find it hard to think she would have just let him die either way though lmao).

That all said, they had been around a long time to have reflected over everything. I think it is a bit of an issue that they don't really allude to that, but I find it easy to believe that they did recognize how thwarted a happy ending would ever be for them by all angles of their reality, yet they still had that tender ache of that simple and small tragedy just between them two that still exists within the torrent of catastrophe that engulfed them and the breadth of their fate. So much horror in their lives but they reconnect and find themselves primarily concerned with that last regret of not having been able to make the ideal relationship they quite thought they had.

#fionna and cake spoilers #Besides that I would say my other kinda issue with the best part of the finale was that you also don't get to see much more #of how Simon enables Betty besides the elaboration on what Betty alludes to in Temple of Mars #Like they only show the red flags at the start of their relationship but I feel they could have taken some time out of the Scarab fight #to have pretty much just one more scene of his lack of awareness in their relationship after they got together #Because we literally only see him make a misstep right at the inception and that Casper and Nova imply this was a continuous pattern #But Simon has literally no autonomy over himself or Betty for like 95% of the original Adventure Time #and tries to stop her from saving him the first time she shows up #Granted I suppose he saw it as being for his own good should he die and leave Betty alone in some alien world #But that whole situation was profoundly different and difficult to have controlled #save for Simon having not opened that portal at all but the considerations and assumptions of how that might have affected her #a thousand years ago... seems difficult to forsee mid-rigor mortis #So it just sorta feels like Casper and Nova kinda was just pointing to something we didn't actually get to see that much of #And though Simon failing to consider that it wasn't great Betty threw out her plans to do Simon's thing like it was nothing #and then overlooking that more directly and with initiative a second time even with Babette yelling at him was a strong enough prelude #for you to “get the idea” but like. Damn! I wanna see a little of the idea maybe

[gibbearish]

yknow what bugs me is when ppls criticism of YA media boils down to them just not knowing how teenage crushes work

#'bella being depressed because edward wasnt at school is unhealthy obsession' no that's called having a crush #'him asking her out by them hearing a rumor saying theyre dating and bella going 'what should i say' +him responding 'well i guess you could #tell them yes. yknow just because its easier' is lame and boring' are you kidding me i ate that shit up at that age #when two shy awkward people flirt thats how you end up in a relationship is you both kind of just sidle your way up to it #and i dont even feel like that one contributes to like 'things abt him that arent necessarily red flags on their own but as a whole point to #bad things' like. from what i gathered feom the movie bella did not seem like the type to like some big first move #like. shes an emo bruh girl. if it wasnt some sort of edgy teenage heartthrob performance then shed just brush him off like #every other Conventionally Attractive Dude™ falling all over her #ppl keep acting like her not going for every other dude who wants her is a character flaw or bad writing but. like #literally just have you ever met a depressed teenage girl. #shes Not Like Other Girls™ and finds regular guys who express emotions in regular ways boring #her wanting him over every other bland boring safe guy she could have in an instant isnt a plot hole‚ its characterization #also i disagree with the vibe that she's just a blank slate like. as someone who was a depressed teenage girl #she didn't come across as blank to me #she came across as. depressed and emo and trying so very hard to look cool and mysterious at all times and had #spent her life up to that point praying to find out magic was real and could whisk her away into a life of adventure and romance and drama #you look me in the eyes and tell me that girl didn't spend middle school chewing through every book she could get her hands on #as fast as possible. #idk #origibberish

[quietwingsinthesky]

returning to the jack & abigail dynamic: i'm imagining that after the first two or three times abigail drags jack home to have dinner with her family, hannibal pulls her off to the side like "are you sure this is the friend you want to make? :)" (<- is thinking about how Jack is allergic to using napkins properly and will wipe everything off with his sleeves) (he's not rude, he was just unfortunately raised by winchesters)

and she just crosses her arms and shoots back with "you get to keep will >:(" (<- knows she will get her way, partly because hannibal is going to give her what she wants, partly because if he doesn't, she's not above asking jack to do a little mindwiping.)

at which point, hannibal just has to accept that she's going to bring home a weird little guy just like he did.

#parallel here not meant to imply jack & abigail romantic relationship tbc #its just that abigail hasn't had any friends since that one girl died. and jack hasn't had any friends. uh. ever. #they're not dating they're more like the codependent homoerotic friendship you form with that one girl in middle school. you know the one. #abigail is weirdly obsessive about jack in a way that would be red flags for anyone else #only he (models his idea of how relationships should work off of the ones he's seen ie sam & dean. dean & cas. sam & lucifer) #sees it as sweet. abigail stalks him once #and he knows the whole time because angel powers and he's 🥰 'she cares about me so much. we must be best friends.' #spn #hannibal nbc #jack kline #abigail hobbs #hannibal lecter #they get high one day (hannibal's secret stash) and abigail goes 'i would eat u u know.' #and jack goes ':3 i mean you could! i don't think it would hurt me! i'll heal!' #they are such normal besties

[mejomonster]

Someone please tell Me if aiming for 1 date a week when single is realistic

This book How Not To Die Alone gave such advice and while I realize where it's coming from good intentions in theory (making dating Hesitators who always feel they need to be more perfect before dating to just Go Date), i also frankly don't know how I'd meet 1 vaguely stable vaguely compatible person to ask out in a year let alone weekly.

#rant #like. if i were to meet the once a qeek quota right now? #id basically HAVE to ask out someone with nothing in common or whos in a poly relationship even tho #tyats not what im looking for (so the relationsgip would go nowhere and id waste both our time) #or with red flags (overt ones... which i simply refuse to do) #and then... if somehow i disregarded all boundaries and asked out virtually Anyone #and thats assuming ppl say yes. and i matxhed 10k people once and 1 single incompatible person said yes in a whole year. #well even IF it all worked out and i found one date a qeek. #im chronically ill and have gastroparesis. so SITTING hurts a lot and EATING food is not always possible for me #if i have a bad day i cant eat foods for a few days or week #and even on good days... one bad food choice can mean puking and pain and unable to eat for a WEEK following #so im scared of restaurant food a bit. #because even when i order very safely and barely eat. a restaurant might make a mistake and add food im allergic too #or forget to remove what i asked. or i didnt realize they used dairy in a salad dressing #and then im puking and bloated and in oain and starving for days :/ #so like. a coffee date? a tea date? id be up for that. resonably safe its jyst flavored water. #but ANY restaurant or long movie (sitting) or something involving food and im quite scared i would be #very sick the remainder of the week. #and i have othef things to save my energy for vesides dates: WORK MEETINGS. work so i dont call in sick VOMITING. #my family wanting a nice dinner including some bread (and me reallt wanting the bread and to not have to skip dinner so i want to risk it) #my 2 times weekly PT where i cant call in sick and if im exhaustsd and vomiting and in intense pain PT is VERY hard. #my friends who (like dates) often wish to grab food. which as mentioned is always a huge risk and #i always sacrifice Getting to see friends i love with May Be Utterly fucked up for a week :c

[designernishiki]

I feel like whatever was going on with majima/mirei/katsuya in the early 90s was some sort of complicated bisexual love triangle situation. like majima is majima and katsuya’s handsome and eloquent and absolutely doesn’t seem straight to me, but on top of that it feels like there was some sort of confusing tension between katsuya and mirei, not sure if it was romantic or one-sided or what but. SOMETHING. I don’t know what the hell was going on with those three really but no way in hell do I believe the romantic/sexual/??? depth ends with majima and mirei

#katsuya is HANDSOME and CHARMING and ELOQUENT. I just KNOW at least one of them was into him. probably both #one way I’m imagining it could’ve went is like #katsuya introduces majima and mirei to one another and mirei crushes on him pretty quick (because she is 19 and quick to do so) #majima doesn’t really particularly have an interest in her- not cause she’s unattractive or anything probably mostly because she’s almost a #because she’s almost a decade younger than him and barely legal. but at some point she confides in katsuya about her feelings for him and #katsuya being the sweet and honorable kinda dude he is acts as a wingman and tries to get majima to go out with her #and eventually majima relents because he doesn’t want to end up admitting to katsuya that he actually had a thing for KATSUYA #and by playing wingman for his good friend mirei majima takes it as him being uninterested and thus doesn’t shoot his shot and yeah #katsuya’s hard to say no to and hey I mean maybe mirei- a civilian- will make his life more capable of Normalcy #she’s conventionally attractive and is a decent enough friend- albeit he didn’t really know what she was like as a person before she was #crushing on him and also. again. she’s 19 and an idol. so inevitably her identity in general is NOT solid yet #almost as if rebounding off a relationship he never even Got- things move insanely quickly with mirei and they’re married in less than a #year. the whole time katsuya is there cheering them on- he’s smart and I think he’d see the red flags when it comes to their ages and #maturity at least but I think that’d become more apparent over time and he’d start to have regrets but #it’s way too late for that. especially when she comes to him bawling her eyes out because she’s found out she’s pregnant and she has no #idea what to do. both for her career and because she’s literally barely an adult she doesn’t want a child at that point but obviously she #knows she’ll feel guilty and- more than that- deep shame for terminating. she’s insightful even at that age and also maybe can read majima #well enough to know that he might take her abortion as a sign for him to book it to no longer cause her anymore issues. katsuya reassures #her cause what else is he gonna do. but of course she’s right and his commitment issues kick in big time and yeah. over the years katsuya’s #the in-between still close with both of them. specifically he’s closer with mirei and they trust one another a lot more than majima with #either of them- just because majima’s Like That and his trust issues create distance easily. nonetheless at some point majima asks him if #he’s been single for so long because he was hung up on mirei and apologizes if he got in the way of them and that leads into some really #long overdue admissions and likely hooking up. but of course majima is STILL majima and again kinda books it because feelings are #inconvenient and their time for something like a relationship has passed (or something like that). #mirei often wonders if things would’ve been better if she’d have ended up with katsuya instead but similar to majima she’s career-focused #now and just wants to value him as a friend regardless of any lingering potential feelings. majima ends up falling hard for kiryu #sooner than later and life just moves on from any romanticism beteeen the three of them- a nostalgic closeness lingers instead #rambling #that was. a lot.

[robinsversion]

Some people really need to touch grass

#just… ughh! #having to deal with dogpiling from someone you’d think would have more important things to do right now but APPARENTLY NOT! #all while she’s playing the g*bbie h*nana I’m-the-victim shit #all over a fucking tiktok that no one would know was from her if she didn’t start a whole harassment campaign around it #i certainly didn’t recognize her and I used to follow her #emphasis on USED TO #like I’m also dealing with major grief right now and I have much better shit to do than create a villain of the week like her #watch her stretch out this harassment campaign for weeks like she did last time 🙄🙄🙄 #only now I’m apparently a part of it cuz I made a few comments defending her target #note to self: I REALLY gotta stop defending people cuz its more trouble than it’s worth #especially against people who live online and are overdue on touching grass #first and last I’m saying on it so hi if her followers are here come at me sluglord im ripped #particularly cuz I’ve already had to deal with bullshit this year from chronically online people #congrats on being someone’s puppet cuz they were bored or whatever #and needed to strike up drama #despite them claiming they’re not 🤦‍♀️ #it’s always the shit-stirrers who claim that huh #not even gonna tag this with my personal tag cuz I just wanna be over this #last time I ignore bad gut feelings and red flags and trust someone anyway because once again I’m attacked with bullshit #i swear #jeez it’s 12 30 #yeah that person really needed to just go to sleep if they were bored enough to do this #fucking hell…

[punching-today-in-the-dick]

So, I’ve just had an interview that has kind of blown me away. And not, in any respect, a good way. More in the way that, even though I’ve been unemployed for a year now and am rather desperate to find a position that will let me relocate cities (which this one would do), had me thinking no one in their right mind would accept this job.

I was already concerned when the job description was long enough to be three people’s jobs, but that’s just what EA jobs tend to be. And then this guy started talking and…. Yeah. This interview went for an hour and a half, by the way. He just kept going.

“We work predominantly with the mining industry”

Okay. Alright. That’s a bit squicky for me, ethically, right out the gate but I can probably grit my teeth and bear it if the rest of the job is respectable.

“Because we work with a lot of international clients, we’re really not a 9-5 company”

Okay, so I imagine you’ve got some sort of flexi-time or hours tracking thing going on.

“No.”

Alright, but there would at least be overtime, right?

“No. You’d get a yearly bonus that I get to decide arbitrarily and, because of that, we feel like we have the right to have you on-call 24 hours a day.”

Okaaaayyyy…..

“We’re an American-based company”

That doesn’t make you exempt from Australian labour laws, mate, and what you’ve proposed is very much illegal. I know you know this; you have a Law degree.

There’s literally no other compensation for forfeiting my entire life to this job?

“Nope! Just the bare minimum required by law and, actually not even that.”

“Let’s talk about your mental health…”

Buddy, respectfully, fuck you.

“Yeah, the woman currently in the role is leaving because she’s exhausted. So I laughed at her and said she should have taken a holiday four months ago when I told her to.”

Wow, you sound great. Please never contact me again.

#I think I kind of bombed the interview anyway because I was so uncomfortable the whole time and I’m kind of glad about it #there were already several red flags in the phone interview before this #and I mentioned them to my lawyer-mother and she’s like… #‘well that doesn’t sound great. probably best not to mention fairwork australia at the first interview in any case’ #job hunting #American job philosophy is fucken nuts #like some of the stuff I’ve found online #‘some employers will even offer sick leave!’ #uh. yeah. they have to. they don’t get a choice #‘you might get contributions towards a retirement plan like a 401(k)’ #yeah. it’s called superannuation. they have to do that. it’s the law #all you Americans should just emigrate out here #and then you can be horrified at *our* racist refugee policies but at least you’ll have labour protections

[theragethatisdesire]

scary dog privilege - best friend!eren x reader one-shot, 18+!!

hellooooo i have had this in my wips for like two entire months and i am giddy and ready to share it. this hopefully will just be a one-shot, but you guys know i love to create a universe for each of my erens so god only knows where we'll end up with this one. best friend eren appears to be my angstiest, broodiest one yet, and i love him lol. wanted to make some use of classic fanfic tropes, so here we get best friend eren and fake dating!! woohoo!!

beware: this is absolute, pure filth once you get into it lol

pairing: eren jaeger x afab reader

wc: 9.1k

DISCLAIMER: this post contains MATURE CONTENT that is intended only for those over 18. if you are a minor, please do not read below the cut.

CWs: smut, consensual hook-up, rough sex, biting, dirty talk, oral sex (fem!receiving), alcohol use, cussing, squirting, penetrative vaginal sex, swearing, use of names (baby, pretty baby, my girl), crying, multiple orgasms, eren being a menace per usual, jean's an asshole (i'm so sorry you guys know i love him but it had to happen)

have fun ;)

-

This is a terrible idea, and it had been from the start. You know it and so does he, but you had insisted. Now that you’ve made your bed, you have to lay in it, you suppose. You press your forehead to the cold, tinted window of Eren’s ridiculous muscle car, ignoring the vibrations from the rock music he’s blaring and the consistent fluttering in your stomach, and think back to your conversation earlier that week.

“Come on, Eren. It’s just one night!”

“And what about after? When you run into Sasha at the coffee place or Armin after work? Did we just suddenly ‘break up’?” Eren scoffs, pushing past you to grab a Red Bull out of the fridge. You collapse into one of the barstools in his kitchen, having prepared yourself to accept defeat from the moment you posed the question.

“I just can’t face him alone,” you sigh, “it’s only been four months and Sasha told me he’s hooked up with not one, not two, but three girls already. I haven’t even had a drunken makeout at the bar.”

“So? Just because Jean’s been whoring around doesn’t mean you have anything to prove.” Eren's tone is thoroughly unimpressed as he pops the tab to his energy drink.

“You’re my best friend. I just need one tiny favor.”

“Who would even believe us? It’s not like it’s a huge party- we know everyone going.”

You cock an eyebrow. “How many times have Annie and Mikasa tried to con us into a double date? Connie’s been teasing us for years, not to mention the waiter at lunch the other day–”

“Fine!”

“Fine?”

“Fine. I’ll be your date for one night. But all of the explaining is up to you. And,” Eren takes a sip, leveling a glare at you over the top of the can, “I’m going on the record as saying that this is a bad idea.”

He may be reckless, arrogant, and a bit of a brat, but if Eren Jaeger is one thing consistently, he was right. You chance a glance at your “date”. He’s in his typical uniform: black hoodie, black jeans, the little silver chain he never takes off, key swinging over his chest as he turns the car. He looks good, appealing even. If Jean dares to show up with a girl, she won’t consider you to have downgraded, that’s for sure.

You consider your own outfit, an anxious fist tightening in your stomach at the thought of seeing Jean for the first time as an ex. He would have hated it. Your nothing-to-the-imagination outfit is all thanks to Sasha.

You had clued Sasha in on the plan; you hoped having one more agent in on your secret would help sell the act. Sasha had gone all out, lending you an incredibly low-cut black top and some black leather pants that would have caused at least a twenty-minute argument with Jean. Had he not dumped you, you remind yourself bitterly. Sasha had insisted you borrow her all-black outfit to match Eren’s typical attire “just to be cute”. In hindsight, her enthusiasm about this whole situation should have been a red flag, but you’ve already gotten everything lined up, and it’s too late for regret.

It’s far too late for hindsight, too; you’re already ten minutes into receiving the official girlfriend treatment from Eren. He had worn you down on picking you up, opening the car door, the works. Hell, you wouldn’t be surprised if he pulled out a bouquet of roses at this point. You can hear his obnoxious tone now: Even if you’re my fake girlfriend, you’re getting the full package. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

Eren parallel parks smoothly on Armin’s quiet street, unusually busy with the buzz of a house party and lined with your friends’ cars. It’s Connie’s birthday, but Armin always hosts. It’s an unspoken rule at this point; you aren’t sure why he keeps volunteering, especially after Sasha had projectile vomited all over his bathroom at the last get-together, but again, dig your own grave and lie in it. You and Armin are in the same boat there.

When the car switches off, Eren takes a moment to consider you, wrapping and unwrapping his long fingers around the steering wheel, a nervous tic he’s had since high school. “You ready?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” you sigh, reaching for the door handle. Before you can wrap your hand around it, Eren leans over and pinches you harshly on the thigh. “Ow!”

“I open the door, remember?” Eren says, visibly annoyed.

You roll your eyes at him.“Isn’t this a bit much?”

“You think I’m going to be caught dead letting my ‘girlfriend’ open her own door? I have a reputation to uphold.”

You decide to bite back a snippy comment about the many girls who cried over Eren in college and cross your arms over your chest, pouting instead. “Fine.”

If Eren can be dramatic, so can you.

As naturally as if he had done it a hundred times, Eren slings his arm over your shoulders on the walk up towards the door; the weight of it, both physically and mentally, is heavier than you’re willing to acknowledge. When you catch sight of Bertholdt, Reiner, and Annie peering through the window, a flutter of nerves erupts your stomach; you reach a hand up to play with Eren’s fingers, absentmindedly spinning one of his rings and trying to sell the look as best you can. “We better pull this off.”

“It’ll be fine, just follow my lead.” Eren pulls you closer, kissing your hairline. Goosebumps rise all over your body; not at the action itself, but how disturbingly easy the affection seems to come to him. As Eren knocks on Armin’s bright red door, you pack that thought away and shove it to the back of your mind to collect dust.

“Hi…guys?” Armin’s friendly smile upon opening the door falters in confusion as he takes you in, absorbing the sight of you two intertwined on his doorstep. Armin’s wide, blue eyes flick between the two of you, and you can see the gears churning in his head, trying to make sense of how awfully close you and Eren are. Pitting your fake relationship against Armin’s intellect is the perfect first test; a nervous sweat breaks out under your skimpy outfit.

“Sup, ‘min?” Eren smiles back, the very picture of nonchalance, extending his free hand to shake Armin’s shoulder.

“Come on in.” Armin, ever polite, turns to allow for plenty of room for Eren to pull you inside. He doesn’t outright ask why Eren’s holding you, but his eyes betray his suspicions. It seems like your plan, as terrible as it is, is working. One down, a dozen or so to go.

Never dropping his arm from around your shoulders, Eren steers you into the living room where one of Connie’s favorite bands is already blasting from the speakers. Annie and Mikasa are curled up together in Armin’s recliner, hands interlocked as usual; Sasha and Connie are positioned at Armin’s bar cart, violently shaking two cocktail shakers apiece; Reiner, Bertholdt, Marco, and Jean are on the couch, arguing over something sports-related. With a sinking stomach, you notice that there’s only one unoccupied seat left in the room.

“My two favorite lovebirds!” Sasha cries, abandoning her cocktail shakers and rushing over to give you a hug. Upon Sasha’s impact, Eren drops his arm and grabs your hand that’s closest to him as a substitute, never taking his hands off of you. His actions are pointed, purposeful; every pair of eyes in the room looks between the two of you in surprise. You can practically feel a hazel-tinted laser beam burning a hole into your forehead. “You guys are so late; honeymoon phase gotcha already?”

“Laying it on a little thick, Sash,” you whisper into Sasha’s ear, cheeks burning. To your chagrin, Eren only curls his mouth in response.

“What?” Connie frowns, still shaking his drinks. “How long has that been a thing?”

You pause, your heart nearly stopping. You should have made up a story, you realize, something to explain–

“Just a few weeks.” The still-strange weight of Eren’s arm around your shoulder returns, and his jade eyes rest on you, adoration beaming through his always-cool gaze. Against your will, butterflies start dancing in your stomach; apparently Eren’s quite the actor.

“Yeah,” you jump in, grateful for Eren’s lead, “we just wanted to feel it out before we told everyone, that’s all.”

“Sasha knew.” Mikasa raises a suspicious eyebrow. Annie smirks at the two of you, a knowing look on her face.

“It’s about time.” Marco appears from the kitchen with a huge bowl of tortilla chips in one hand and salsa in the other. “Good for you guys.”

You can’t help yourself, finally meeting Jean’s eyes. He’s openly scowling at you, which is to be expected; where Eren is a criminally smooth liar, Jean wears his heart on his sleeve. You recognize that face all too well: anger to mask heartbreak, the same face he wore when you used to fight. For the first time, it occurs to you how cruel this plan might be, how Jean might react to you moving on with a mutual friend. Guilt washes over you, cold and heavy.

“Thanks for giving me a heads-up before you moved in on my fucking girlfriend, Jaeger,” Jean snips, taking a long swallow of his beer.

The guilt drops away from you as quickly as your jaw; you’ve forgotten what a prick Jean can be. Eren has been slowly guiding you over to the singular remaining seat throughout the conversation, and after Jean’s comment, he tugs you down firmly onto his lap. He rubs a large palm over your thigh, a blatant gesture of ownership.

“Not your girlfriend anymore, Kirschstein.” You can hear the distinct note of pride ringing through his voice, hear the nasty look leveled at Jean without turning to face him. It’s been fifteen minutes of fake dating, car ride included, and you can already feel the friendship line blurring. Your head spins.

“Anyway,” Armin, ever the gracious host, interrupts, breaking the awkward tension that has settled over the room, “what bar does everyone want to head out to later? Connie gets the first pick, being the birthday boy.”

The conversation in the room picks back up into a familial bickering over the evening’s next destination. All of your friends have become accustomed to the occasional awkward moment over the years now that some of you have begun to couple up; Mikasa and Annie especially are notorious for bickering like an old married couple, no matter who’s around.

“I need a drink,” you murmur to Eren, moving to stand.

“Do you mind getting me one, babe? Don’t want to lose our seat.” Eren pecks you on the cheek, smiling up at you as if everything about your situation right now is normal, natural for him. Jean’s eyes follow you every step of the way, and your face burns.

Over the years you’ve been friends with him, it’s never been lost on you that Eren’s attractive, not after the dozens of women he ran through in his college years. Peeking over your shoulder now, however, feels like you’re seeing him for the first time, seeing him the way the world sees him. Heavy-set dark brows frame his bright eyes beautifully, his jaw’s grown sharp and severe, and his lips are soft and pouty, stretching into a wicked smirk with sharp canines. He had grown into a heartbreaker, and he’s your best friend and now fake boyfriend– you swat away your private admiration as soon as it comes, taking a deep breath to center yourself and rifling through the bar cart in a daze.

“Want me to make you one?” Sasha waves a bright red concoction under your nose. “Connie and I made them- it has three different types of liquor in it, and you can’t taste any of it!”

One sip of the tiny cocktail straw has your nose wrinkling in disgust. You’ve worked behind a bar since the day you turned twenty-one, and the drink Sasha’s offering you tastes like an overly-syruped nightmare. “Um…no, that’s okay Sash. I’ll probably just stick to beer.”

Connie sticks his tongue out at you. “Boring!”

Predictably, Sasha pouts. “Okay, but we’re definitely making you take a shot. We can chill it in the kitchen, want to help me get some ice?”

Holding up a bottle of tequila, she cocks her head toward the kitchen and wobbles her eyebrows madly. You almost laugh; anyone who can’t pick up on a hint from Sasha is walking around with earplugs and their eyes closed.

“Fine. Let me just grab Eren a beer, and I’ll meet you in there.”

“Ugh, couples,” Connie rolls his eyes, wandering over to fiddle with the dusty karaoke machine that Armin claims broke years ago. You’ve always been dubious as to the truth of that, but knowing your friends, you can’t blame him.

Opening the cooler, you smile to yourself; Armin remembered your favorite IPA from the brewery down the road and stocked the cooler accordingly, nestling a few Hazy Daze’s between Reiner and Bertholdt’s domestics. You pick your way through the haphazard seating arrangements back over to Eren, holding a cold Budweiser bottle towards him. He pauses in his conversation with Reiner, grabbing your hand that holds the beer and removing it from your hand, bringing your knuckles to his lips, brushing them over in a light kiss. He looks you up and down lecherously as he does it, a dangerous curve to his lips.

You return a weak half-smile, doing your best to not appear outwardly shaken by Eren’s behavior and keep the what the fuck? thoughts from showing plainly on your face. Eren waves you off to the kitchen with a light pat on your bottom, innocent as ever.

“How’s it going?” Sasha asks, safe now in the privacy of the kitchen. Her face is already full-flush with excitement and that awful cocktail she was sipping.

“I mean, it seems like everyone’s buying it. Jean looks pissed, though.”

“What were you expecting? He’s always thought Eren had a thing for you.”

“Everyone thinks Eren has a thing for me,” you roll your eyes, “at least it’s working in my favor now.”

Sasha fixes you with a glare, wobbling slightly. “If you don’t think Eren actually has a thing for you, you must be blind. Deaf, too.”

“Sasha–”

“I mean, even if you hadn’t told me, I would have fallen for it. Is it not, like, weird for you guys? That it’s just natural for you two to–” Sasha burps, interrupting herself, and giggles. “Just makes ya think.”

“Sasha!” Connie calls from the living room. “Let’s do Eye of the Tiger first!”

“Woo!” Sasha shouts, abandoning you and running into the room to take part in the newly-revived karaoke festivities.

You stand alone in the kitchen, shell-shocked by Sasha’s observations. The truly irritating thing is that she’s entirely right. Not only do Eren’s little kisses here and there, the constant touching, even the pet names come naturally, it almost feels…nice. It’s as easy for you to receive his affection as it is for him to give it. You peek around the corner, grimacing at Sasha and Connie’s amplified wailing, just wanting to look at him. Really look at him.

Kicked back, beer in hand and jacket thrown over the back of his chair, Eren oozes charisma. Even doing nothing but holding a conversation with Mikasa, the room gravitates around him. Jean’s angry glare never leaves him; Armin has switched to drinking Budweiser, even though you know he hates it; Annie’s nodding along with whatever Eren’s saying; even Sasha and Connie are angling their performance around him, alternating between singing together and holding their microphones towards him, trying to elicit a reaction. He has this undeniable magnetic force, one that you aren’t exempt from.

You’d met him nearly a decade ago, in high school, and initially couldn’t stand him. His hair-trigger temper had hardly cooled with age, and his ego had gotten unthinkably larger, but you grew to find both of them charming– to a degree. One thing led to another, and before you knew it, Eren was the one cleaning you up and getting you drunk after every bad breakup, introducing you to all of your favorite sports teams and lending you jerseys for the games; hell, he even read that smutty fairy fantasy series you’d been obsessed with in college. Had the man you attempted Star Wars marathons with until you both fell asleep really looked like that the entire time?

He catches your stare, beckoning you over with one long, crooked finger. As his girlfriend for the night, you have to obey, even though you would much rather roll your eyes at the cliche.

“Missed you,” he mumbles as you sit back on his lap, breath hot against the shell of your ear.

“You too,” you respond accordingly, wrapping your arm lovingly around his shoulder. Eren’s eyes flit down to your cleavage, but knowing him, it’s impossible to discern if it’s part of the act, or Eren being himself.

His hands rest comfortably over the casing of your pants, one on your thigh and one on the small of your back, one thumb rubbing circles into your soft flesh. Reveling in the drag of his rings over your clothed body, you couldn’t help but wonder how they’d feel on your bare skin, on your throat, on your–

Surprising yourself at the dirty direction of your thoughts, you swallow your beer too quickly, coughing. Eren, who had coincidentally been taking a sip at the same time, laughs at you mid-sip, choking beside you and spraying beer out of his nose.

The entire room bursts into laughter; Eren regains his composure and joins in good-naturedly. You giggle along, relief coursing over your body. Sure, Eren might look a little extra handsome tonight and be a bit touchy because you asked him to, but he’s still Eren.

“They’re practically in sync already.” Hitch, Marco’s girlfriend who had apparently joined the party while Sasha and you were in the kitchen, rests her face on her hand dreamily.

“It’s a little freaky,” Annie observes with narrowed eyes, but the slight curve of her lip betrays her. Not only were they believing your little farce, but they were happy for you. That’s enough to make you flush a little, realizing how naturally everyone’s just accepted your fake relationship. Everyone but one person, at least.

Jean suddenly stands, ripping a beer from the cooler and storming into the kitchen. The laughter dies as quickly as it had come, everyone exchanging nervous looks.

“I’ll go talk to him,” Eren offers, nudging you off of his lap. You blanch.

“Eren, I don’t know if you should-”

“It’s fine,” Eren drops a soft peck on your forehead, walking away before you can stop him. You meet Mikasa’s eyes, wide and concerned. To everyone else, Eren’s walking calmly, not a hint of aggression in his gait. But you know him, know him well enough to catch the anger simmering in his eyes, quiet, but there.

Jean and Eren have always been friends, albeit reluctant ones at first, but too similar where it counted not to get along. That had abruptly come to a halt when you had fallen for Jean. At first Eren had been confused, but over time that confusion had melted into constant irritation. Jean and you were wrong for one another, you know that in hindsight, but at the time, you had chalked all the fighting up to a passionate relationship. The constant tears had driven Eren nearly to a breaking point; multiple times you had begged him not to bring his frustration to physical blows. And now, your fake-boyfriend slash best friend and ex-boyfriend with the two worst tempers out of everyone you know are “talking”. You bite down hard on the inside of your cheek to keep the worry in your chest.

“Are you alright?” The question comes from Armin, who’s placed a steadying hand on your shoulder. “I’m sorry that Jean isn’t taking the news well.”

“There’s no news,” Mikasa says low enough for none of the others to hear over the music, now standing directly behind Armin.

A neat little cross appears between Armin’s eyebrows. “They’re-”

“Faking,” she interrupts Armin, “they aren’t dating.”

Armin stammers, trying to correct her and apologize to you for her at the same time, but you just sigh. “How’d you know?”

“One of you would have told me,” she shrugs, “or at least I’d like to think you would.”

“It’s just…I couldn’t bear to show up alone, not with Jean here and apparently sleeping around since the breakup.” You cross your arms over your chest, grabbing your own shoulders tightly. It’s your fault, you know it is, but you had only wanted to feel a little less pathetic, a little less heartbroken. Drama had been an unfortunate and unexpected side effect.

“Why would Eren agree to that? It seems silly,” Armin muses, noticing your glare and immediately turning bright red, “I- I don’t mean you’re silly, just, you shouldn’t-”

“You know.” Mikasa bumps him. The slightest hint of a smile plays on her face, a knowing look directed at you. You frown, trying to look confused through the pink rising to your face.

A loud crash from the kitchen catches all of your attention, saving you from an uncomfortable line of conversation but making your heart beat that much faster. Dashing to the kitchen door, the entire house party hot on your heels, your thundering heart sinks.

Eren has Jean pinned up against Armin’s cabinets, forearm tight against the other man’s neck. Jean’s still seething at Eren, raw ego washing against the cool anger blazing in Eren’s eyes.

“Need to learn how to watch your fucking mouth, Kirschstein–”

“Eren!” Your voice is surprisingly firm, given the nauseating mixture of embarrassment, confusion, and panic swirling in your stomach. “Let him go!”

“Do you want to tell her what you said, or should I?” Eren hisses, nudging into Jean further. Jean’s eyes dart to you, back to Eren, and for a fleeting moment, you have hope that maybe this all can be resolved peacefully. And then Jean makes a fatal mistake.

He spits directly in Eren’s face.

Just as Eren swings, Reiner collides with the two, just barely catching Eren by his forearm before he can make contact with Jean’s cheek. Bertholdt, as always, is Reiner’s shadow, grabbing Eren by the shoulders and wrenching him away from Jean. It takes Connie, Reiner, Marco, and Bertholdt to restrain both of them, Armin standing in the middle and shouting how ridiculous the fight is above the curses.

“It’s my fucking birthday, Jean, come on bro!” Connie growls, pinning Jean to the cabinets with his back.

“Jaeger- back off!” Reiner manages to pull him back a few inches, hardly able to contain Eren, who’s struggling furiously, in his massive arms. Jean finally relents, slouching into the multiple arms holding him back. After several seconds, Eren does the same, never taking his eyes off of Jean. Into the shocked silence, Armin bravely speaks first.

“Maybe we should leave,” he suggests awkwardly, “take the party elsewhere.”

You pity him, poor Armin and his hosting inclination. Eren finally turns to face you. The wrath laid bare in his eyes sends a chill over your body.

“We are,” he spits, sparing Jean one last threatening glance before storming over, grabbing you harshly by the wrist, and practically dragging you towards the door.

“Eren, wait–” you try to reason with him and dig your heels in, but it’s fruitless. Eren’s strong, stronger than you, and you don’t stand a chance stopping him now that his mind’s made up.

He doesn’t drop the act at the car, ripping your car door open, waiting impatiently for you to step into your seat, and slamming the door behind you. As soon as he turns the ignition, the same angry rock music you had listened to on the way over blasts from the speakers; Eren makes no move to turn it down and neither do you. After so many years together, his temper rarely scares you anymore; it’s more of a nuisance than anything when it flares. You stare out of the window, seething with anger, arms crossed and foot tapping.

Five minutes into the drive, you realize Eren isn’t taking you to your house, but to his. What he’s thinking, you can’t be sure, but you go ahead and start making your plans to give him an earful and call your Uber the moment you get there. You just can’t wrap your mind around why he would attack Jean and embarrass you like that– Eren may have been a hothead, but rarely did he let his temper escalate to that degree, especially against a friend.

Eren whips his car into the driveway, parking with such force you nearly knock your head against the headrest. You reach for your door handle, ready to throw it open, but Eren’s faster. He hits the child lock button and slams his own door behind him, storming around the car.

“The fucking child lock button?” You leap out of your seat once he’s opened your door, glaring up at him with your fists curled by your sides. “Is that what I am, Eren, a child?”

“Come inside.” Eren’s voice is low, dangerous. You’re too angry to indulge his temper.

“No,” you snap, “I’m going home.”

No sooner have you pulled your phone out to call an Uber than Eren snatches it from you, sliding it into his pocket. He repeats himself, more forceful this time. “Come inside.”

You stand rooted to the spot for a beat, so angry you aren’t sure what you want to do more: run home, punch him, or kick his precious car headlight in. Eren simply glares down his strong nose at you, face unreadable as ever, rage still glittering in his eyes.

“Come inside, please,” Eren repeats himself again through gritted teeth. You decide you’ll indulge him and go inside, hear him out, and then punch him. At least it’ll catch him off guard, and you’ll have a better chance of getting your shot in. Without another word, you stomp up the walkway to his house, into the house, and into the kitchen, shoving your shoes off. Stupid fucking kitchens, you think to yourself, kicking your bare foot against the base of his kitchen island. Immature, but the little burst of violence feels good.

Whether Eren’s house smells like him or Eren smells like his house you’ve never been able to decide. The distinct scent of him envelops you: a boyish, sharp smell, laced with a hint of the weed he kept in the living room. Ordinarily it’s a comforting smell, but tonight, it nearly makes you sick with irritation. Fighting with Eren is something you do rarely, but you know the both of you well enough to buckle down. Arguing with Eren means you have a long, nasty, and emotionally gutting night ahead of you. You’re more than ready, fists shaking by your side.

“What the hell was that, Eren?”

He doesn’t answer, swinging the fridge open and grabbing a beer. He twists the top, tossing it aside carelessly and taking a healthy swig, bun bouncing on the back of his head, making no move to acknowledge your presence.

“Answer me!” Your voice rattles the cabinets. “Yeah, was the fake dating a stupid idea? Sure, fine, it was stupid, but starting a fucking fight with Jean on poor Connie’s birthday–”

“You didn’t hear what he said,” Eren says simply, still chugging his beer and avoiding your gaze.

“What could he have said to make you do that? What was so awful that you had to–”

“It was about you.” Eren finally brings his eyes to yours, staring you down through the little hairs that have escaped his bun with such intensity that it nearly knocks you clean on your ass.

Your heart stutters. “You– what did he say?”

“Told me if I wanted to taste your ‘slutty pussy’ so bad, I could just smell his breath. S’why he spit in my face.” Eren’s fingers wrap and unwrap around the beer bottle anxiously.

Your mouth drops agape, tears immediately springing to your eyes. No, you set your resolve, praying your body cooperates. “He…he said that?”

“Why didn’t you tell me you’d been fucking him?” Eren spares you another scalding look. Your temper flares at his anger, one fire against another.

“Excuse me?”

“Don’t play dumb,” Eren snaps, “this whole thing was your idea. What am I to you, just some toy you can dangle in front of your pussyboy ex boyfriend? How long have you been fucking him?”

“I haven’t been fucking him,” you hiss, “he lied because he was jealous. And you’re not some toy, you’re– you’re my best friend. I needed you.”

Eren freezes, eyeing you across the kitchen. His expression has changed, infinitesimally so, a pinch of the fury fading from his face but none of the heat. It strikes you that in the years you’ve known him, he’s never looked at you like this before, not once. “Say it again.”

“You’re my–”

“The other thing.”

“I needed you.”

“Again.”

“I needed– fuck, Eren, what is this? Some kind of game?”

He stalks toward you, silhouetted by the light behind him and looking sinful, closing you in. He’s forceful and shameless as he backs you into the counter, as quintessentially Eren as he can be. “Say it one more time.”

“I…needed you,” you indulge him, brain slowing down to pick up each little detail. His cologne– when did he start wearing cologne?– musky and thick in the air, one of his tattoos peeking above the collar of his shirt, the tangible sensation of emerald eyes dragging along every inch of you.

“I like the way you say that,” his tongue darts out, wetting his lips. You stare blatantly. His mouth is red, pouty, and full, bottom lip a little chapped from where he was chewing it in the car. “That you need me.”

Words are lost on you; even if you could gather something to say, it would probably get stuck in your throat the moment it materialized. His presence is choking you. He brings one of those massive hands up, cupping your jaw, running a thumb over your lip. His posture, looming over you, is demanding, almost hungry.

“Do you still?”

“Still?”

“Need me.”

You blink, eyes still watery. “How?”

“You’re a smart girl,” Eren murmurs, hot breath laced with beer fanning over your face, “you know. You’ve always known.”

You do know. When he ghosted a hand over your thighs at the bar, when you fell asleep on his chest watching a movie, the way he had kissed your head, nearly fought Jean, protected you at every twist and turn. You had kept it relegated to the recesses of your brain, slid a hand between your legs and allowed it to simmer to the surface, maybe for a moment, before pushing it back down. You had always known. He has you on the edge of a cliff, and with a thin gasp, you understand him now: he wants you to jump. And so do you.

“I still need you. Now.”

Something critical snaps in both of you. The countertop digs into your lower back, a beautiful, aching pain blooming up your spine to meet the sting of his teeth sinking into your bottom lip. He’s kissing you; this magnetic, maddening man is kissing you, hard. It’s all tongue and teeth, fingers wrapping in hair, hands exploring familiar places in a new way. Greedy, demanding sounds slip through his teeth as he paws at your clothes, squeezes your curves through the silken shirt Sasha had lent you.

“This shirt is ridiculous,” Eren pants into your mouth, “wish I wasn’t about to rip it off of you.”

A little whimper leaves your mouth at that, and your knees buckle. Eren catches you, grabbing you by your torso and lifting you up onto the kitchen counter; you use the extra height to wrap your legs around his hips. A groan from deep in Eren’s chest rumbles against your lips as he rolls his clothed cock insistently against you. The low, simmering heat in your stomach catches fire; he’s big, even through both of your pants, rubbing himself into where you need him most. A hand creeps up your neck, grabbing a fistful of hair and forcing you to look up at him. It hits you how large he is; six feet and some change of taut, corded muscle, bad intentions, temptation.

His voice is quiet and controlled, so close to your face that his nose moves against yours as he speaks. “I’m going to take you to my room. If that’s not okay with you, I need you to say it right now.”

You nod urgently, relishing the burn in your scalp where he holds your hair tight. “I want it- want you.”

Eren slides you off of the kitchen counter and holds you firmly around his waist, making a beeline for his room. You mouth at his neck, enjoying the little grunts he makes against your ear. You drop unceremoniously onto the bed, left to watch as he tears off his shirt.

Oh, and do you watch. It’s difficult to comprehend that your best friend is the man standing above you. You’ve seen him shirtless countless times, but not like this: chest heaving, covered in a thin sheen of sweat, muscles flexing as he reaches for your shirt, ripping it from you and tossing it away. Your eyes draw towards the defined v leading down beneath his jeans, and you wonder how it might taste under your tongue.

Your bra comes next, Eren moving down to take your lips in his again as he deals with the clasp. He pushes you onto your back, kissing down your neck, sneaking harsh bites in between the gentle presses of his lips.

“Careful, Eren– you’ll leave marks,” you gasp, pulling at his hair.

“Good,” Eren replies against your neck, emphasizing his point with another deep bite to your neck, “you wanted everyone to think I was your little boyfriend, didn’t you? Let them see.” 

Your panties grow damp and hot against your core at that; you have no other response than to choke out a stunted moan.

“Fuck, you have no idea,” he growls, traveling down, teeth scraping the top of your breast, “what you do to me. How long I’ve wanted you.”

Your mind falters, caught in the crosswires of Eren’s confession and the way you’re clutching his head to your breasts, fingers desperately threaded in his dark hair and pulling him as close as you could get him. His mouth is so hot it burns, even against your feverish skin. 

“Remember…” Eren muses, mouthing his way down your stomach, “remember college? When you’d wear those slutty little dresses out?”

“I remember,” you breathe, impatient and urging him towards your lower half.

“Used to come home from the bar and jerk myself off, thinking about this sweet little cunt,” Eren tears your pants down your legs, panties following, “could practically see it in those short ass dresses. I’d cum thinking about how you’d sound when I stuck my tongue in it.”

A lewd whine rips out of your throat before you can stop it. Eren’s pressing your thighs open now, and his words and the quick little swipes he’s making across your clit are making you dizzy.

“Fuck…” Eren trails off, eyes wide, “got such a pretty pussy. Just look at you.”

“Eren, please,” you’ve never been the begging type, but the bright green eyes peering up at you from where your legs are propped open by broad, strong shoulders take your sense away.

“I’ve got you,” he shushes you, grinning as he leans into your center. A thick stripe of a lick up the center elicits a groan from you both. “So fucking sweet. Knew you would be.”

Eren hooks his arms around your legs, dragging you down the bed to be flush with his face. Eren’s no amateur when it comes to women, you know that, but you had never dared to let yourself imagine what that might translate to in practice.

He licks little figure-eights around your clit, not quite hitting it; he’s teasing you, the antagonist that he is. You tremble under him, little gasps and whimpers puffing out of your lips. Eren smiles contentedly against your pussy, nose flush with your clit, nudging against it rhythmically as he licks through your folds, circling your entrance. You bring your hands down your body, grabbing a fistful of dark hair and pulling him closer to you; you don’t even know what you want, the singular word more ringing in your head like a church bell.

Eren chuckles. “You need something?”

“Stop fucking with me,” you breathe, inwardly cringing at the desperation in your voice, laid bare for him to see. You brace yourself, looking down to meet his eyes, and instantly regret it. The anger has faded entirely from his face, replaced by an unyielding hunger. A wet, wicked smile plays at his mouth; you can physically feel your cunt dripping just at the sight of him.

“You want me to stop fucking with you?”

“Please, Eren, I need you–”

“That’s all you had to say.”

And then, like he does with everything else in his life, Eren licks into you like his life depends on it, like he’s trying to drown himself in you. His tongue pushes in and out of your hole, swirling around your clit, and you can distantly hear the most obscene sounds you’ve ever heard slipping from your mouth. He’s so good, better than you’ve had in years; you throw your head back against the bedspread, hardly able to focus on breathing.

Just when you think it can’t get any more intense, Eren slides one long finger inside of you, curling it against a spongy spot in your walls that makes you see stars. He chuckles at the loud, long moan that you let out.

“My girl likes being full, doesn’t she?” He pumps his finger slowly, testing your limits. Your walls clutch down on him, begging.

“M-more,” you stutter, barely able to form a coherent word through your panting.

“What was that?” You can hear the shit-eating grin on his face.

“I need– fuck– I need more.”

“Magic word?”

“Please, Eren, fuck!”

“Good, good girl,” he coos, pushing another finger into you, “so sweet and needy for me, yeah?”

Your eyes fly open at the stretch, the fullness of his fingers moving inside you. His other hand comes up to push on your lower stomach; your head snaps up, and you frown at him, panicked.

“W-what are you– oh,” you hate yourself for it, but you can’t even speak as he applies pressure onto your abdomen. You feel strange; it’s just right and too much all at once. The familiar bubble of an impending orgasm swells in the pit of your stomach, but it’s more intense, wetter than you’ve ever felt it. 

“Close?”

“Mhm,” you force out through gritted teeth. Eren moves his elbow slightly, just enough to bear down on your hip bone where you’re pushing your hips up towards him unwittingly. “But it- it feels weird…I, I can’t–”

“Sh,” he murmurs, mouth back against your clit, “you can do it, just for me, I know you can. It’s going to feel so good, you’ll see.”

Your eyes roll back in your head as you teeter on the precipice, blood roaring in your ears. You want to, you need to–

“Cum all over my fucking face baby, give it to me.”

The band in you snaps, your eyes rolling back into your head. You can feel your cunt spasming around his fingers, pushing something out. Liquid sprays from you, all over Eren’s face, soaking the sheets beneath you. You can’t even hear the lewd sounds coming out of your mouth, too surprised at the gushing orgasm. It finally winds down, and once you gather the energy, you shove insistently at his hand still pumping in and out of your sensitive pussy.

“You have the messiest little cunt,” Eren chuckles at you, wiping his face and kissing his way back up to your gasping mouth, “knew you were a squirter.”

He lands a few gentle taps against your sore pussy, and you flinch. 

“I–I’ve never…” you take a shaky breath in between every word, “never done that before.”

Pride illuminates his face. “Really? I knew you could do it– just for me, right?”

You nod, sitting up on trembling elbows. “Your cock, I– I want it in my mouth. Please let me.”

You reach down to fumble with the button of his jeans, but Eren grabs your wrist, pulling your hand up to kiss it gently. “Next time. I’d never forgive myself if I busted before I got to fuck you.”

Too overwhelmed to answer, you simply nod again, sitting back as he shimmies his pants off. Once you catch sight of it, your mouth waters. He’s big, bigger than you thought, wide enough to where your fingers wouldn’t touch if you grabbed it, and long enough to make you gag. The thought goes straight between your legs, cunt still throbbing and clutching around nothing, and a rush of anticipation washes over you.

Eren flips you over onto your stomach, shoving a couple of pillows underneath your hips to prop your ass up. “Christ,” he exhales, landing a sharp smack to your ass.

“Please, Eren- oh!” You jump; Eren’s circling your asshole, using the mess you’ve already made as lube to pop the tip of his thumb in. “Eren…”

“You’d let me fuck you there, one day, I bet,” he mutters, more to himself than to you, you think. Your body tenses in response, the memory of your first glance at his cock fresh in your mind. Eren swears under his breath. “Maybe next time, then.”

You hear him spit, hear the slick sounds of him lathering himself up. You have a brief moment to think to yourself, with the last glimmering shreds of consciousness in your orgasm-dazed mind, that this is Eren. This is your best friend, pinning you to the bed by the back of your neck, rubbing your lower back, admiring you, fucking you. And then the head of his cock is pressing into you, and that last little bit of hesitation gives way.

“Oh, baby,” Eren bends over you to growl in your ear, “never gonna forgive you for keeping this perfect pussy from me all these years.”

“Eren, it’s so– oh my god,” you trail off, eyes rolling back into your head as a few more inches of him sink into you. The way your body stretches for him, the way he fills you, is unbelievable, sweetened by just the slightest burning sensation.

“Fuck,” he hisses, pressing his forehead into the back of your neck, “you feel so fucking good. Best I’ve ever had.”

You whine at that, pushing your hips back into his and forcing him to bottom out. Eren swears against your skin, nearly collapsing on top of you. Your cunt pulses around him, desperately trying to hold him. You can hardly fathom the weight of him inside you; you’re just so full, the word runs through your mind on a loop.

And when he rolls his hips into yours– you nearly start praying. He drags against your walls so nicely, you nearly cum again then and there. He works up a torturously slow rhythm, grinding his hips into yours. You bite down hard on your bottom lip, trying your hardest to suppress the obscene groan about to leave your mouth. You taste blood.

“Never giving this pussy up,” Eren grunts above you, “never letting you give this to anybody else again. It’s mine, isn’t it?”

You nod into the pillow beneath your head, tears pricking at your eyes. He’s picking up the pace now, and the exquisite push-and-pull rhythm of Eren moving inside of you coupled with the fact that it’s Eren moving inside of you is destroying any semblance of intelligent conversation you can muster.

“Say it’s mine,” his face is beside yours now. A hand grabs your hair, turning your face towards him. You know how dazed you must look, mouth open in a permanent gasp, eyes watery and full of hearts. “God, you look fucking incredible. Say it.”

“My…my pussy is,” you swallow hard around the delicious knot of shame in your throat, “yours. It’s yours.”

“That’s my girl,” Eren sits back up, thrusting even faster, “my pussy, my girl. Isn’t that right?”

“Yes,” you pant, canting your hips back against his, feeling your next orgasm approach embarrassingly fast. Eren understands, already knows your body as well as he knows you, and moves the angle of his hips just so to hit that spot he had found so quickly with his fingers earlier. You keen, drooling into the pillow, letting him fuck you stupid.

Eren shoves you over the edge for the second time that night. It’s toe curling, almost violent in nature, the way you cum around him, listening to him hiss as you tighten around him, vice-like. He fucks you through your orgasm for just long enough to see you through it, and flips you onto your back the moment you begin to twitch and shove at his hips, desperate for a break.

You slowly blink your eyes open in surprise, letting the tears roll down your cheeks, expecting to see Eren lining himself up, ready to fuck you senseless once more. Instead, he’s studying you, wiping a tear from your face, licking it off of his finger. There’s a moment happening here, an important one, one you don’t have the mental capacity to absorb right now.

“I want to see you now,” Eren says quietly, “need to see your pretty face when I cum, m’kay?”

You nod dumbly, not knowing how to respond to him in the thick air hanging between you. Before Eren can get any more words out of his open mouth, a loud ring startles you both.

Your phone is buzzing on the floor where it fell from Eren’s pocket; the name on the screen nearly stops your heart. Jean.

You stare into Eren’s eyes, a long, silent beat passes between you both. Your hazy mind is scrambling, grasping at anything you can say to take his mind off of the awkward interruption, but to your surprise, Eren cracks a grin. It’s a wicked grin, prettier than the devil himself and twice as evil.

“Your other boyfriend calling? Checking up on you?”

“He’s not my-”

“Better not be. Not after what I did to you tonight,” Eren’s voice drips with ego. Something in his eyes is territorial, carnal.

You find your words, but they come out quiet. “He’s not. Never again.”

Eren’s grin grows darker. He’s nudging your knees apart with his own, reaching down and pulling one of your legs to wrap around his waist. He’s pushing himself in now, the ringing of your phone fading into the background as the all-encompassing stretch of Eren inside you takes over your thoughts.

“Such a good girl,” he coos, thumbing at your bottom lip, “such a good mouth. Always telling me what I want to hear.”

You nod again, urgently this time, pulling your other leg up to hook them around his waist, hold him inside you, make sure he never leaves again. You’re addicted already; addicted to the pressure in your abdomen, addicted to the way his tip kisses your cervix, addicted to the taste of his sweat as you lick a strip of it from his face, cheekbone to temple.

“I…” you aren’t sure how to articulate how good it is, how good he is. A defeated laugh of your own making interrupts you. “You feel so fucking good. I feel so fucking good right now.”

“God, just look at you, all fucked out for me. You love it, don’t you?” Eren kisses your forehead, face to face with you after propping his elbows on either side of your face. “Love how I fuck you like a whore, don’t you? Tell me, baby.”

“I love it,” your voice is quivering, and you’re vaguely aware of tears streaming down your face. You’re overstimulated, you at least know that, but he just feels so good that asking him to stop seems more painful than letting him keep hammering into you.

“My pretty baby, you’re so fucking perfect,” Eren rambles, “so pretty when you cry for me.”

You can’t break away from his gaze, not through the tears or the rapid-fire speed of him fucking into you. Your legs are shaking so badly you can barely hold them up; Eren’s letting a flurry of little grunts and groans fly out, grabbing onto your cheek with one hand.

“Gonna cum soon,” he huffs, hips still pistoning into you hard enough to hurt, “gonna cum in your pussy, really make it mine, okay?”

“Okay,” you whimper, clamping down on him at the mere thought of it.

“Fuck, you like that don’t you?” He seethes against your forehead, thrusts beginning to falter. “You want to be mine? Want this pretty cunt stuffed full of my cum?”

You can feel him getting closer now, sloppy thrusts punching into your cervix, the ache of bruises forming on your inner thighs as he uses you, chasing his orgasm. You force your eyes open, meeting bright, hypnotizing green. Your voice is going to break, you know it, you hate it, you love him for it. “I– I want to be yours. P-please cum in me Eren, I need it.”

He slams into you one last time, holding his hips as tightly to yours as he can manage, cumming deep inside you with a breathless curse. You arch your back, relishing the feel of his cum in you, warm and filling. Even in your fucked-out mind, you know it’s a lot; you can feel the drip of it, seeping out around his cock and down onto the sheets. The leaden collapse of his body into yours, the gradual softening of him inside you, grounds you, pulling you down from the clouds and back into the bed.

It’s Eren on top of you, sweaty skin clinging to yours, his cum that you begged him for leaking out of your abused pussy. Your eyes shoot open. He’s incredibly heavy, your breath still coming out in short puffs as you try to catch it. He slides out of you; one last pitiful whimper leaving your lips as you find yourself empty.

“Holy shit,” Eren breathes out into the tension, a humorless and exhausted laugh punctuating his statement. As he rolls off of you, you’re overcome with the urge to smack him.

“That’s one way of putting it.” You scrounge around in the bed, trying to find the edge of the sheets to cover yourself with. Eren lays beside you, arm tossed over his eyes, as if the entire axis of your friendship hadn’t just flipped on its head. After a beat, you speak your mind, testing the waters. “I should probably call Jean back.”

That catches his attention. Eren sits up, scowling at you. “Why?”

“Maybe he wants to apologize.”

Eren snorts, rolling off of the bed and pulling you up with him, bridal-style; you aren’t sure where he’s taking you, but all the fight’s been fucked out of you, and you melt into his arms, eyes falling closed. “Who fucking cares?”

“I might,” you answer quietly, adjusting to the heat radiating off of his body. When your eyes open, you realize he’s carrying you to the bathroom to clean you up. Your heart thuds sadly in your chest, overcome with so many emotions you couldn’t begin to name them if you tried. You almost want to cry again, for a different reason now.

Eren sits you on the toilet, not responding to your small confession. He drops to his knees before you, reaches a long arm behind him over to the fixtures on his obscenely large bathtub, pushing the plug in and turning the water on. You draw your knees up to your chest, suddenly feeling incredibly exposed. Satisfied with the water temperature, Eren turns back to you, one hand placed firmly on each of your kneecaps.

“You don’t need him,” he says, solemn as you’ve ever seen him, “and from what I saw tonight, you don’t even want him. You know that now, right?”

There’s something about the way he says it, a hidden thread of pleading woven into his words. Your exhausted brain holds onto that, but your heart refuses to believe in it, broken and beating wildly in your chest.

“I just–”

“I meant it, you know,” Eren avoids your direct gaze, eyes flitting over every feature on your face, “I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. Meant every word of it.”

You pause, wondering absentmindedly if he can hear the pounding of your pulse. “Really?”

“We don’t need to get into it now,” he shrugs, “but you know that. You know I’d do anything for you. You know I’d treat you well. ‘M not a bad guy.”

Your chest aches. “I know, but Eren–”

“So that wasn’t the best sex you’ve ever had in your life?” He fixes you with a singular, raised eyebrow, so serious that you giggle in his face.

“You might have me there.”

“Better than horseface?”

“Watch it.”

The light returns to his eyes; it loosens a hard little piece in your chest, flooding you with warmth. It hits you just how much you love that little sparkle amongst the green, just how much you would give to see it as often as you can. “We won’t talk about it, for now at least. I’ll get us cleaned up, and we can go watch–”

“Mamma Mia,” you blurt, hopeful.

“No fucking shot. But we can watch something else of your choosing, if you let me eat you out again.”

“Eren!” You smack his shoulder, scandalized. Both of you laugh; your fake outrage is twice as funny considering the state of you right now, smeared makeup and bruises on your neck.

He grins crookedly back at you. “That’s not a no.”

#aot x reader #eren x reader #eren jaeger x reader #eren yeager x reader #eren jaeger smut #eren x you #eren yaeger x you #eren yeager smut #aot fanfiction #eren jaeger fic #eren jaeger fanfiction

[littlebirdy0301]

(cw grooming mention) TELL ME WHY IM JUST SITTING IN MY ROOM CHILLIN, REMINDED OF MEMORIES FROM EALRY HIGHSCHOOL AND ALL THE SUDDEN HIT LIKE A FUCKING TRUCK THAT I GOT GROOMED AT 14/15

#CW grooming #cw trauma dump #I’m tagging this accordingly so don’t read if you don’t wanna hear about this subject. I just wanna get it out without telling irl people #I cannot fucking believe this. This realization hiT ME LIKE A FUCKING TRUCK WHAT THE SHIT #As a freshman I was friends with this senior. I was learning what it meant to be in queer spaces & learning what queer friendships were lik #And queer friendships that are also Theatre Kid friendships are often very touchy. Lots of behavior that is typically read as romantic #Hand holding cuddling playing with hair etc #So it was a bit like that with this 18 year old senior #They asked me out (in front of all our drama class friends & whatever other students happened to be around) #& I had no idea they had romantic interest so I was shocked. Didn’t know what to do or how to process #I ended up saying no telling them it was b/c I just realized I was queer & wasn’t out & didn’t wanna hide dating from my family #The memories are fuzzy but we kept talking & it still had the overly affectionate queer vibe #And they’d say romantic things to me and I think I’d say things back because I was still in a whole new world of discovering myself #And didn’t know what I was or wasn’t feeling #So when they’d act that way I just felt like I should act that way back #I was so young and immature and didn’t know anything at all about myself. I came from a stuffy conservative background so it was all so new #Then over time they pursued me romantically again and I (again not knowing anything & just taking a shot in the dark) said yes #They were in a relationship at the time too and suggested polyamory #And another red flag was that at one point I referred to their bf to them as “your man” and they said “sweetie that’s our man” #But I had never fucking met this guy!! Never had one conversation with him!!!! #And in actual ethical polyamory there would’ve been a discussion about all of our comfort zones and which of us wanted to be together #But I was just left to guess what the situation was so I assumed that they were dating both of us but he and I weren’t dating eachother #Because again!!!! I didn’t fucking know this man!!!!!!! #But anyway #when we actually “got together” it was all over text and it didn’t last long at all #Because THANK GOD my gut was telling me that something was VERY OFF #so THANK FUCKING GOD I broke up with them over text before I ever hung out with either of them in person post-getting-together #I am so fucking grateful right now that I listened to my gut because I’m sick thinking about how things could’ve gone if it went on longer #I avoided some major fucking trauma by getting out before I’d hung out at all with them in person. Fucking christ #Holy fuck I can’t believe it’s taken me 7 fucking years to fully realize what happened

[jerriisspeakingnow]

I am fully understanding why a lot of people don’t try to get into the Fate franchise.

#rant time! #personal #I don’t even think I’m going to watch more Fate than just Fate Stay Night: Unlimited Blade Works #I deadass started Unlimited Blade Works with my sister because I just wanted to stare at Lancer and Archer #(but now I gotta throw Gilgamesh into the whole ‘Reasons for Watching’ mess AAAHHHHHH) #but my GOD if I have to Google the answer for another question I might just throw myself out a window #like I am enjoying it but I don’t think I’ve wanted to yell this much since watching season one of Code Geass #like I got a lot a questions for Lancer so EXPLAIN YOURSELF SIR #and really can Ufotable stop putting out such good animation?? #I’m suppose to not like Gilgamesh solely based on principle BUT HERE I AM - a weak simp for another red flag #delete later? delete later #I have no idea what I’m typing I’m just here like AAAAHHHHHH

[sammygender]

clinical needs-to-always-emphasise-with-the-other-side-in-a-theoretical-interpersonal-disagreement disorder (has a libra mother)

#its SUUCH a problem. #i’ll see a post of someone talking about their abusive ex #and jm like But we don’t like. KNOW that their ex was the bad one. this is probably also what the ex said. i refuse to form a moral judgment #on this situation which i know nothing about. #anyone’s like ‘my ex friend ruined my life’ im like Don’t say that. have EMPATHY. maybe they’re HURTING #whole time i regularly whine about my terrible ex and my old friends ruining my life……. #its so bad i immediately jump to emphasising with whoever’s being said is shitty #Because not like anyone else in this tiktok is standing up for them are they💔not like anyone ELSE is considering nuance #disclaimer that obviously i don’t do this with real people i know blah blah blahhhh #God j am like. i’d say a walking red flag but i morally agree with the vast majority of what i do and say #i just feel like i could get deemed one. Not my fault tho yall are allergic to nuance! #oliver talks