#brain why would you? I’m just minding my fuckin business hoe

[claymorexpunisher]

My brain just betrayed me and reminded me of Sami hitting Ro with a chair to the back just like Seth….

#in Sami’s case it was warranted but OH GOD THE EMOTIONAL DAMAGE. THE PTSD. 😭😭😭 #o u c h #brain why would you? I’m just minding my fuckin business hoe

[goffilolo]

Revival of Midoriya Izuku chapter 3

It’s been 84 years huh? As always the fanfic is up on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16929483/chapters/52652386

also im aware of like some formatting issues with the fic when it comes to tumblr, so reading it on ao3 might be better if you particularly care about like italics and what not, but otherwise it’s all the same stuff.

“Move your ass Boom Boom Bitch, I wanna get there early!” shouted Izuku, as him and Bandit sat on rather stylish, but uncomfortable couch in the Bakugous’ living room that was probably worth more than both of them put together, which probably wasn’t even that much anyway since they’re both garbage, but it’s about the principle of the thing.

“Shut your mouth you Trash Twink, I’ll get there when I get there! And what the fuck are you doing in my house?” screamed Bakugou all the way from upstairs, although with his voice being as explosive as his quirk he might as well be standing right next to you considering the damage he does to everyone’s eardrums.

Speaking of hearing damage “Katsuki!!! Is that how you talk to our guest you rude brat?! Get over here!” exclaimed Aunt Mitsuki.

“Shut it old hag! Deku’s not a guest, he’s just an annoying cockroach that invites himself wherever he wants and does whatever he wants!” which is a fair point, considering Izuku has invited himself to Bakugou’s first day at UA for less than wholesome reasons. Some people might see it as the ultimate bitch slap to Bakugou’s ego (partially true), but for the most part it’s merely a testament of how far Izuku has come, considering he now only sees UA as a place where he can flirt with Tensei’s hot brother, rather than a means of accomplishing some bullshit dreams... But it’s not like Kacchan knows any of this, so he can fuck off.

If you were to ask Izuku what his deal with Bakugou was, he would reply “Best friends, duh” with enough sarcasm to last you the next ten years. If you were to press for any specifics his reply would be more along the lines of “I dunno, get the fuck out of my apartment” followed by having Trash Bandit sent after you. The bottom line was, his relationship with Bakugou was complicated, as were most thing in Izuku’s life, but that’s not unusual.

Izuku’s presence at the Bakugou household though? That’s quite unusual, yet more likely than you’d think.

And although the screaming match between the two Bakugous was ever so entertaining Izuku had places to be, and guys to seduce, so “Leave it Auntie” he exclaims in a dismissive manner “We don’t want to rile him up too much, otherwise he ain’t gonna get that 30-day chip from the anger management that he’s been gunnin’ for” he adds half-jokingly.

“I know, I know” she says “But you’d think he would act a little nicer by now, after all these months of therapy.”

“Wouldn’t expect miracles if I were you Auntie, you know what the say; Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree ” replies the boy with a shiteating grin as he motions towards Bakugou descending down the stairs, not missing the way Mitsuki flinched ever so slightly at his rather obnoxious comment.

“And to think you used to be such a nice boy yourself, I used to always tell your mother how great it would’ve been if Katsuki was more like you” she says in a mix of bittersweet nostalgia and regret.

“Yeah well, considering the shit I got for being nice , I think from now on I’d rather be a bastard and then some” exclaimed Izuku as he got up from the couch with Bandit in tow and made his way towards Bakugou. The other boy was getting ready to leave as well and his excitement for the day was concealed even more poorly than his mother’s discomfort at the current conversation “Have a good one Auntie!”

And with that, the two teenagers and one (1) sheep were on their way.

“Kacchan please , not everything is about you” said Izuku exasperatedly, hurrying over to the only empty seat on the train.

“Like hell it isn’t! This was supposed to be MY DAY, my first day at the school of my fucking dreams, and you’re trying to ruin it by following me around dressed like a dollar stripper!” replied Bakugou in a whisper-scream. He may have anger issues but he wasn’t a dumbass and the two of them were already drawing enough attention as it was. It wasn’t exactly easy to remain unnoticed on a train while carrying a green sheep; a task which fell on Bakugou, because Izuku was a weak-noodle-arm-bitch.

“First of all, I’m flattered that you think I’m worth a dollar” said the weak-noodle-arm-bitch in question “And second of all, this is my best outfit.” Said best outfit consisted of a worn out tank top that had THE HOES written on it in what once was a glittery pink; a pair of booty shorts with ENEMY OF STATE hand stitched onto the backside and rainbow patterned knee socks. The look was completed with a pair of pink platform crocs, because Izuku had standards ... and because he was short.

“God I hate you” murmured Bakugou.

“Don’t I know it Kacchan?”

The rest of the train ride was spent in silence.

It wasn’t until they actually reached the gates of the school that Bakugou had a thought; one that he probably should’ve had before they even left his house, but having a coherent thought while carrying a sheep and bickering with the sheep’s owner about whether the sheep should be referred to as a dog or not is in all fairness not possible.

“They won’t let you in” he said, voicing the sudden epiphany.

“Sure they will” replied Izuku.

“Oh yeah? How? Deku, you don’t fuckin’ go to this school, you don’t go to ANY school!” shouted Bakugou, because they were no longer on the train, therefore arguing with a lunatic stripper looking guy was now acceptable.

Izuku for the most part did not have a problem with that, because not only did he love having petty fights with people, he also loved proving them wrong, especially when everyone and their grandma accuses him of being a high school drop out.

“Shinjuku Metropolitan would beg to differ” he says, dropping the metaphorical bomb on the unsuspecting dipshit that is his childhood friend, after which he continues to walk, crossing the gates of UA High like he owns the damn place.

After about a minute of Bakugou standing frozen in shock, he finally snapped out of it when Bandit decided to start chewing on his uniform “Oi, hold the fuck up!” screamed the blond as he followed Izuku inside, while the sheep was being dragged along like a betrayed ragdoll  “Did you just say Shinjuku Metropolitan?!”

“Kacchan, you know I can’t hold you, you’re too heavy” replies the other teen, while pointedly ignoring Bakugou’s question and the looks he’s been getting from the students.

“Don’t change the subject shitty Deku! How the fuck did your ass get into a top non-hero high school in the whole damn Tokyo you bitch?”

“What, like it’s hard?”

“I fuckin’ swear to God-”

“Do it! Pull the trigger piglet!”

“WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?”

Their pointless quarrel, which was on a steady way into becoming a straight up brawl (Izuku having already pulled out his axe and lighted a cigarette using one of Bakugou’s warning explosions) came to a stop when they were interrupted by one of UA’s teachers, although in Izuku’s opinion she made a wrong career choice, considering being a Dominatrix probably paid more.

On another note, when someone asks you ‘what’s going on?’ that doesn’t mean they’re actually interested in whatever is happening at the moment, it means ‘stop’, therefore Izuku’s answer to that question, which usually involves something along the lines of “You see, I’m small, horny and full of rage, and I have no outlet for these emotions” is rarely appreciated. That is not to say that the lack of appreciation is going to stop him from spawning whatever dumb shit comes to his mind when faced with the judgement from authority figures. If anything it makes everything worse.

“That’s just how we flirt” replied the teen instead, all the while looking THE Pro-Hero Midnight dead in the eye and putting out his cigarette on Bakugou’s uniform jacket. Bakugou, for the most part was unable to even be mad at the cigarette burn considering he was busy recovering from being metaphorically punched in the kidneys by that line.

“And why aren’t you wearing uniform?” she asks suspiciously, pointing at Izuku’s attire.

“Oh, I don’t go here” he replied casually.

“Then pray tell , why are you in this school?”

“To get laid”

“TO WHAT?!” screamed Bakugou in surprise.

At this point Midnight took out her phone (no, her costume doesn’t have pockets, please don’t ask where she keeps it) and clicked on one of three contacts she keeps on her speed dial.

“Principal Nedzu, we got a situation…”

After telling Bakugou not to worry and that he will see him later in class, Izuku was dragged to the principal’s office by Midnight.

On the way there he tried cracking up another joke, telling her that his safe word was ‘avocado’. She did not appreciate that one either. For those of you wondering what happened to Bandit, the sheep ended up following Bakugou, much to the blond’s dismay.

Now, being sent to a principal’s office, especially of a school that you don’t even attend is usually a sign that you have royally fucked up. Not for Izuku though, because he had a plan! Contrary to the common belief, Izuku is not dumb. The fall didn’t kill off any of his brain cells, only his ability to give a shit, which made life much easier since he no longer had to worry about things like: people’s opinions, social norms, laws and heteronormativity.

Anyway, back to the plan. Izuku was not dumb, therefore even he knew that wandering around UA while not attending the school would not fly. He needed a way to stay, and for that he needed the guy who runs the whole shitshow; Nedzu.

Which is why the moment Midnight opens the door to the office Izuku stomps in like a man on a mission and stops right in front of an animal of questionable origin in a suit that is allegedly UA’s principal. A little unusual, but if a scumbag like Endeavour can hold the title of No. 2 Hero in Japan, then an animal can run a school.

The principal in question was calmly sitting on a couch and drinking tea, totally unconcerned with whatever bullshit Izuku was about to throw at him.

“Now, what seems to be the issue with this young man?” asked Nedzu.

“This young man-” said Izuku, pointing to himself in a rather cocky manner “has a message for you!”

“And what would that message be?”

The principal’s question was answered with what Izuku can only think of as the ultimate power move, or in this case; a literal ace up the sleeve. The boy proceeded to pull out a Monopoly “Get out of Jail” card out of his shorts (since he technically wasn’t wearing any sleeves) and slam it on the table right in front of Nedzu.

While to an outsider the current situation might seem absurd, it is important to remember that Izuku had a plan; one that could’ve never come to a fruition without a little help from the most unexpected person, which is why that card was no ordinary Monopoly card, but a very specific reminder that only Principal Nedzu would know the meaning of, and when he picked it up and flipped it around, the neatly written message on the back made its presence known.

It read: “You owe me one. - Hisashi”

“My dad says ‘Hi!’ ” exclaimed Izuku, taking one look at Nedzu’s face and knowing that he already won.

Was cashing in on a favour that his dad secured like 10 years ago a morally good decision? Debatable, but it got the job done so he’s not gonna complain. All that mattered was that Izuku now had a pass to enter the UA grounds whenever he pleased and nobody could stop him, and so here he was about to enter the classroom where Kacchan is supposed to be in. The bell hasn’t rung yet so he still had some time and who knows, maybe the handsome guy from the police station was in the same class?

With that in mind he opened the gigantic door and made his way into the classroom and was met with what looked like a pissing contest between his crush and his childhood friend.

“REMOVE YOUR FOOT FROM THAT DESK! SUCH AN ACTION IS INSULTING TO THOSE WHO CAME TO UA BEFORE US AS WELL AS THE CRAFTSMEN WHO MADE THIS DESK!”

“LIKE I CARE! WHAT MIDDLE SCHOOL ARE YOU FROM, YOU EXTRA ?!”

Ah yes, pissing contest at its finest, which meant that Izuku had options . The most obvious course of action would be siding up with Tenya and taunting Kacchan, which is not something Izuku would ever say no to. However , it also happens that the object of his affections had a massive boner for rules and authority, which is the exact opposite of everything Izuku stands for, so siding up with Kacchan it is.

And so he made his way to the pair of bickering teenagers and promptly pushed Kacchan’s feet off the desk, earning a scoff from the blond and an approving but baffled look from Iida, which only lasted for about 2 seconds, because Izuku being the gay disaster that he is simply HAD to ruin it all by claiming the desk as his sitting spot and giving Tenya the most ridiculous bedroom eyes that had Kacchan fake gagging like his life depended on it.

“Umm...Izuku, was it?” asked Tenya, feeling awkward under the other boy’s intense gaze.

“It sure was” replied the boy, feeling happy about leaving enough of an impression to be remembered from all those weeks ago “Fancy seeing you here, huh?”

“Indeed-”

“Oh for fuck’s sake Deku!” exclaimed Bakugou, completely fed up with the cringeworthy display in front of him “Just tell four-eyes that you came here because you wanted to see him and be done with it!”

“WHAT?”

“Kacchan, not now! I’m trying to put on some moves!”

“Well your moves are shit-”

“Hey, aren’t you that guy from the news who stabbed a villain in the eye with an axe?!” shouted one of the students while pointing at Izuku. There was something ironic about the fact that it was his stunt on live TV from 2 weeks ago that got everyone’s heads turning and not his iconic outfit, or inappropriate behaviour, or literally anything else about him. Like that’s just rude ok? And interrupting him while he’s trying to flirt? Also rude.

“Bitch, I might be” he replied anyway, because his reputation was on the line and because at this point literally everyone has gathered around the desk that he sat on, so things were way past the point of return. People were throwing questions and accusations at him left and right, Trash Bandit is nowhere to be found and his quil flask is not full enough for this bullshit. At this point Bakugou simply got up from his seat and sat at the back of the room, as far away from this nonsense as possible.

“It’s you!”exclaimed the boy with dual coloured hair and equally mismatched eyes “You’re the guy who keeps T-posing in front of my house. Can you please stop?!” he asked with the most deadpan face Izuku has ever seen despite his voice being filled with desperation.

“Look, I T-pose in front of a lot of houses so you’re gonna have to be more specific” he replied sarcastically — despite knowing exactly who he was talking to — since it probably wasn’t a good moment to mention that you’re besties with that person’s mom because you were both stuck in the same loony bin and so you already know all the family drama and have dedicated a good portion of your time to harassing her abusive piece of shit husband…especially with like 20 people around you.

“You’re the one who egged my limo!” shouted one of the girls at the back. She was a very tall girl with long, dark hair tied in a seemingly gravity defying ponytail and a kind face. She had an air of a distinguished lesbian about her, which Izuku could respect even if she was rich if the limo comment was anything to go by. He egged several limos in his lifetime because seeing rich people out in public makes him go apeshit, as it should, so really how is he supposed to remember everyone?

“And I will egg it again!” promised Izuku “When I see rich people out and about it triggers my fight-or-fuck response”

“Don’t you mean fight-or-flight?” she asked.

“No”

“Are you ok?”

“Not in the slightest”

And with that more people joined in on the conversation, including a particular girl who very much looked like an alien with her bright pink skin and black sclera who ended up complementing his outfit, which thank fuck someone here actually had good taste , as well as a guy who ended up being Ms Shouji’s son, and the only reason he found out was because the guy recognised his antics based on the gossip his mom told him and isn’t that a small fuckin world? And in the middle of it all laid an inconspicuous yellow sleeping bag that has been conveniently ignored by everyone for the sake of the plot up until now.

The sleeping bag began to seemingly unzip by itself and soon enough Bandit’s head poked out of it.

“Bandit! There you are”

“Baaah!”

“Guys! Look at this dog!” exclaimed one of the students who Izuku thought looked like a personification of weed, but he wasn’t going to say that. At least the guy knew what he was talking about.

“I’m pretty certain it’s a sheep-” added Tenya, taking his role as the last standing voice of reason in this room very seriously, even though his voice has practically drowned in the sea of teenagers chanting ‘good doggo’, similarly to how one might feel if they were standing at a dance floor while Baby Got Back started playing.

It’s also important to note that while all of this was happening, Bakugou who has sat himself at the back of the room was forced to witness the chaotic force that is Izuku interacting with multiple people at once while being able to convince about 20 of them to refer to his sheep as a dog, and in that moment he turned around staring into the void and asked himself “Am I having a fuckin stroke?”

“Nah, he’s always like that” replied the one person who was sat at the back along with him that Bakugou previously did not bother to notice.

“And how would you know, you damn extra?” asked Bakugou somewhat offended, because sure him and Izuku were not on the friendliest terms and the whole incident from last year really changed him and what not. But they still knew each other their whole lives, so really that had to count for something and Bakugou was not willing to compromise on that with some random extra who looked like a Tinky Winky humansona on drugs.

Unfortunately Bakugou was not able to get an answer because the entire class was interrupted by a homeless looking guy coming out of the yellow sleeping bag to shame student kind. “If you’re here to socialise, then get out” he said. Soon enough the room was filled with a tense silence as the students were unsure of what to expect next.

“It took 8 seconds for you to quiet down. Time is a precious resource. You lot aren’t very rational, are you?” asked the man as he walked to the front of the classroom, making it very clear that he was in fact their teacher. The man was rather tall and unkept, his hair was long and slightly curled, similar to Izuku’s own and the outfit he wore could only be described as a goth onesie. There was something very familiar about him but Izuku couldn’t quite make out what it was supposed to be.

However, just because Izuku’s memory aligns very closely with a slice of swiss cheese doesn’t mean that the same can be said about the teacher in question. As soon as he turned around to get a good look at his new class his eyes fell on Izuku and his face has swiftly shifted from that of practiced disinterest to shock and recognition that Izuku honestly was not expecting.

“What are you doing here problem child?” asked the man with a certain degree of disbelief in his voice. Once again there was something very familiar about him and the way he addressed Izuku and wait a minute did he just call me a problem child? That can’t be-

“Uncle Shouta” exclaimed the boy in a way that felt uncertain, yet childishly hopeful “Is that you?”

“Of course it is brat, who else would I be?” he replied with a hint of amusement.

#revival of midoriya izuku #demise!au #bnha #fanfic #midoriya izuku #bakugou katsuki #trash bandit #aizawa shouta #iida tenya

[zanybohbot]

The Outsiders: Squit's Sh*ttiest Birthday Ever!

The Outsiders: Squit's Sh*ttiest Birthday Ever! (Episode 6)

Published: 11-04-19 - Updated: 11-08-19

It's Squit's 29th birthday and he is planning a dinner party but it clashes with a more popular bash so that his only guests are Pinky, Brain, Wakko, Pesto and Brain's exchange neighbour Patrice. This is the 6th fanfic episode of The Outsiders. Thx. Rated R for Strong Language/Mature Themes/Sexual Language.

Part 1: About Squit's Girlfriend

(The main 5 are at Squit's house with Patrice, a 22 year-old French exchange neighbour. Squit is using his computer.)

Brain: [about the French exchange neighbour] I dunno, he seems a bit weird. He asked me if I've tried the "Sleeping Beauty?"

Wakko: Oh, it's so awesome.

Brain: What, you know it?

Wakko: Yeah, you sit on your arm 'til your hand goes dead. 10-15 minutes is normally enough. And then when you jerk off, it feels like someone else is doing it.

Brain: How do you know these things?

Pinky: Oh, everyone knows the Sleeping Beauty; that's so 1984.

Brain: Is it?

Pinky: Fuck yeah, my cousin's brother invented it. He and his bros used to be called The Dead Hand Gang.

Squit: They had a gang based on masturbation? Oh there's nothing gay about that.

Pinky: Yeah, well he's in the Air Force now, so how gay's that?

Squit: Still quite gay. (Charlotte's online on Skype) Oh, shit, Charlotte's online.

Wakko: You asked her along yet?

Squit: No. I don't know if I should.

Brain: Go on, it'll be great.

Squit: Really, do you think so?

Brain: Yeah, it's cool, just say, "Hi".

Squit: (finished typing) Done it. Oh, wow, she's come straight back. She says, "Hi, whassup". Smiley face.

Pinky: Now, ask her the fuck out!

Squit: No, can't just jump in, not the way things have been with us.

Brain: At least have to charm her a bit first.

Squit: (finished typing) I've written "Just hanging out with Brain and his French exchange". Okay, another smiley face. Can't bring myself to send a smiley back, but I could write "lol" if I absolutely had to.

Pinky: Do that. That'll be dope as hell!

Squit: "LOL! Anyway, it's my birthday. Come for dinner, please?" (silence) That pause isn't good.

Pesto: Calm down, it's only been a second, dummy!

(Another short silence)

(Charlotte's offline)

Squit: (annoyed) Oh, for Christ's sake! She's gone offline rather than answer whether or not she'll come to my birthday?!

Wakko: Maybe the connection dropped?

Squit: Nope, it was back and forward, back and forward. Then a question about dinner and she's gone.

Pinky: Look, she didn't say, "No" did she?

Squit: No. But she did hang up.

Brain: C'mon. I'm sure she'll be there.

Squit: Well, not sure, but y'know.

Anya: (came downstairs) Oh, hello, Brain.

Brain: Hey, An.

Patrice: Bonjour.

Anya: (giggled) Oh, my goodness, you're French.

Brain: This is Patrice, he's my sort of French exchange neighbour. Patrice, this is Squit's sis.

Anya: Hello. Well, I'm just gonna play tennis. Ha, don't know why I mentioned that. Bye.

Brain: See ya.

Squit: Thanks, bye!

Wakko: See ya lata.

Pinky: Peace.

Anya: Au revoir, Patrice.

Patrice: Au revoir. (She leaves the house.) Your sister is very ze sexy.

Squit: Uhhh...what?

Patrice: She has ze sex. (walks away awkwardly)

Pinky: Well, damn! He's a strange one. Fuck me, right?

Wakko: But he's French, they're sometimes weird?

Squit: Oh, god, please don't be racist.

Wakko: How's that racist, I'm just saying that he barely says anything and when he does speak it's always about sex. Just like all French people.

(Squit N/R: The next day was my birthday. Whilst I was making my final preparations, including putting on shit music girls would like, Patrice had been busy too.)

Patrice: I just had a really nice, er tug, thinking about your mother. I think some went on the floor. Sorry. (Shows Squit the liquid on his red sofa.)

Squit: (sarcastically/disgusted) Great, thanks, Patrice. (The door rang) I'll get it. It could be Charlotte. (He opens to see Pinky, Brain, Pesto and Wakko instead of Charlotte)

Pinky: Yo, bender. (Drinking Red Bull)

Squit: (looking unimpressed) Oh.

(Squit N/R: Happy birthday to me. It was 8.30pm on my 29th birthday in July 19th 2006, and my party was in full swing.)

Brain: Where's your plus one anyways, Pinky?

Pinky: Not coming. She got a modelling job, had to fly to Paris. Barmaid by day, supermodel by night.

Squit: (sarcastically) Sounds likely.

Pinky: Where's Little Miss Stuck-up Cock-tease?

Brain: Do you mean Billie?

Pinky: Uhhh...yeah. Duh.

Brain: I don't think Billie will make it.

Pesto: Why not?

Wakko: Is something up?

Brain: No, it's nothing like that. I just sort of didn't invite her in the end.

Pinky: Wow. You really are a pussy, why am I not surprised?!

Brain: Hey, at least I tried!

Squit: (slightly annoyed) So lemme get this straight, there are gonna be no women here then? None at all? I don't know why I bother.

Pinky: Well, I wouldn't say there will be no women.

Pesto: Yeah, not no women!

Squit: (confused) Wait. So there are some women coming?

Wakko: Maybe, maybe not.

(Pinky, Wakko and Pesto are smirking as their mischievous.)

Squit: (still not looking unimpressed) Look, it's very clear from your smirking faces and tone of voice that actually there are some women coming.

Pinky: We got you a special birthday treat.

Squit: Did you?

Wakko: (takes a deep breath) STRIPPER!

Squit: What?!

Wakko: Yup. (laughs)

Squit: Have you really bought a stripper?!

Pinky: Relax, she was only $5 million!

Squit: How have you paid for that?!

Wakko: We haven't yet, we'll just have a whip round when she gets here.

Brain: A whip round?! We don't have $1 million each!

Pinky: Nah, it's...oh...shit, you are absolutely right about dat, my paycheck doesn't come out till tomorrow at noon. Sorry, bruh.

Squit: (sarcastically) Great, so until a $5 million angry lap dancer turns up, we are without female company. Gee, thank you very much for my 29th birthday, I really appreciate it a lot.

Pinky: Okay fine, if ya gonna be savage about it, I will pick some girls up from outside.

Squit: (sarcastically) Oh, please! Pick me up some random girls from the street for me.

Brain: Or, we can go to Buster's party, it's happening right now.

Wakko: Yeah.

Pesto: As a matter of fact, why aren't we there in the first place? It will be much better than this shit joint.

Squit: (sarcastically) Why thank you very much for that remark right there. (grabs a bottle of wine) More wine!?

Pinky: Ohhh...I bet it reeks of ass in there.

Squit: Ohhh...and I bet it's not.

Pinky: Yes, it is.

Squit: No, it's not!

Pinky: Is!

Squit: Not!

Pinky: Is!

Squit: (getting angry) Not!

Pinky: Well, I don't see why NOT! (furious)

Wakko: Guys, please. Calm down.

Squit: Look, I put a lot of effort into this! I made a really nice coq au vin...

Pinky: Cock of WAT?! (laughs)

Pesto: Bruh...your fuckin' high.

Brain: You don't help yourself, do you?

Squit: Oh yeah, I see, 'coq' au vin, very mature! It actually means chicken in wine, doesn't it, Patrice?

Patrice: Quoi?

Squit: Well, it does, and it doesn't mean cock up my ass, or cock on my head, or...

Pesto: ...you got some cock in the back of a van.

Squit: Or that I got some cock in the back of a van! Look, all I wanted was a nice, civilised and sophisticated birthday party. Like we did back in 1993, when we first began out acting career back at Warner Bros. Just something a little different from the usual parties - maybe even the sort of party that girls are impressed by! OK, so there aren't any girls here, but why don't we at least attempt to have a sophisticated conversation? We are in the 20s and were not teenagers anymore. I know it's a tall order, and I'm not expecting sparkling, but let's give it a go, eh, fellas, since it is my FUCKING BIRTHDAY!

[everyone sits in chastened silence for a while. Then...]

Wakko: How much Lego can you stuff up your ass?

Squit: Oh, for Christ's sake!

Wakko: No not now, like when you were younger, how much did you get up there?

Pinky: Your fuckin' high.

Brain: Why were sticking Lego up your rear end?

Wakko: Not much, just rectangular ones. Unless, you wanna come to my house and prove it.

Squit: (stands up) FINE! Fine! Let's go to Buster Bunny's house!

Pesto: FUCK YEAH!

Brain: (whispers to Squit) Are you sure?

Squit: Oh, please. It's the last thing I wanted to do. She's not coming, is she? And a skillful raconteur like Wakko is wasted on just us.

Pinky: Nice one. Now I get a proper three-course meal, hoe, puh and a V!

(They all leave Squit's house.)

Part 2: A Long Journey

(Squit N/R: So we headed into the night, and found Pinky's three courses sitting on a fence.)

Pinky: 'Allo, 'allo. (Points at 3 girls drinking wine on the street) Here they are.

Wakko: Nice.

Brain: I dunno. They look a bit rough. Are they drinking in the street?

Pinky: Dirty. I love it!

Squit: Not quite the sophisticates I had in mind, but at least they're female.

Pesto: I think you should go over, Pinky.

Pinky: Nah, B should.

Brain: What? Why me?

Pinky: Alphabetical. You got that bent look girls go for anyway.

Brain: Fine, if you're gonna be a douche, you go!

Pinky: Sorry for being "a douche"! Look, are ya gonna go or not!?

Pesto: Just go, B, it's freezing out here.

Squit: Come on, Brain. For me? For my birthday? Remember?!

Brain: (sigh) God, fine. (He comes up to the girls) Hi, there.

Girl 1: What ya fuckin' say!?

Brain: Uhhh...hello.

Girl 1: And what?

Brain: Uhhh...I wanted to ask you to a party?

Girl 1: I'm 13.

Brain: (in shock) Oh, sorry. I didn't know.

Girl 2: And I'm 11, you scum.

Brain: Yep, there's been a mistake, so...

Girl 1: Like looking at little girls, do ya?

Girl 2: Like getting 'em to parties where you can touch 'em, do ya?

Brain: No, God, no. Look, I'm going now.

Girl 3: Pedo!

Girl 1: You fuckin' pedo!

Girl 2: Yeah, run, you pedo.

(Patrice strokes his dick right in front of them.)

Brain: What the fuck, Patrice?!

Girl 1: Ewww! I'm gonna get my fuckin' brother on you!

Girl 3: Motherfucka!

(The others run away.)

Girl 1: That's it, run away, pedo boy!

Girl 2: Keep going, pedo! Keep walking, you fuckin' pedo!

Pinky: (sarcastically) Nice one, Brain.

Brain: Me?! It was fucking Patrice who pissed them off in the first place!

Pinky: You tried to scum them up, scumbag!

Brain: (grabs Pinky's snout with anger) I'm not in the mood for this, just warning you!

Pinky: "Ooh, watch out, Uncle Brain might give me a special bop with his stupid pencil!" Look, you're being awkward as fuck! Girls don't love dat shit!

Brain: (let's go of Pinky) Whatever!

Squit: (reads his text) Oh, fuck.

Pesto: What's for pudding, Squit?

Squit: (sarcastically) Oh, I dunno. Just a middle-aged woman demanding $5 million!

(The message from a stripper that says "WHERE'S MY FUCKING MONEY AND WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!")

Wakko: Oh, shit.

Pinky: What are we gonna do?

Brain: I think we should go.

Squit: (sigh) Yes, fine, I give up. Let's try to get in to Buster Bunny's.

Brain: What about your dinner party?

Squit: Forget it. You can lead a horse to water but can't stop it sticking Lego up its ass.

(Patrice started pissing in the street for no reason.)

Squit: Oh, for Christ's sake, Patrice, don't do that!

Wakko: God, Brain, he's a nightmare! We can't have him scare all the hoes away at the party, let's ditch him.

Brain: I'm looking after him, I can't leave him stranded in a strange country.

Pinky: Well he comes from a strange country!

Squit: Brain, for once, Pinky and Wakko are right. Patrice is weird and boring. Do you really think girls will be impressed when we turn up with that?

(Patrice is still pissing.)

Brain: Okay. Probably not.

Squit: Let's just leg it while his back is turned. It's now or never, B.

Brain: OK, fuck it!

(The others run away from Patrice.)

(Squit N/R: So we ran away. Yep, ran away. Something I hadn't done since John Cook discovered wedgies in 8th grade.)

Wakko: Crap! I've got a stitch wedgie. I need to itch!

Squit: That should be enough.

(Patrice was running from behind.)

Pinky: Fuck! He's behind us!

Wakko: No way!

Squit: Run! He's chasing us!

(Patrice is now next to them still running.)

Wakko: Holy fuck, he doesn't give up easily!

Squit: What does he think is happening?!

Pesto: I think he's caught us up.

Brain: (sarcastically) Yeah, good spot, Pesto.

Patrice: Brain, why we run?

Brain: Uhhh...I don't fuckin' know actually!

Patrice: You don't know?

Brain: Yeah.

Patrice: So we stop?

Brain: Yep, probably. Good idea.

(They stopped running.)

Brain: (sigh) Let's just go to the party.

(They are walking down the street to Buster's house.)

(Squit N/R: So after trying and failing to outrun a boy in Cuban heels, we headed for Buster Bunny's party, which we definitely wouldn't get into.)

Pesto: Who's gonna ask if we can come in, Squit?

Squit: I dunno, why are you asking me?!

Pinky: Outta the way you Kwik Shit Shitters, I'll do it myself!

(BUZZER DOOR OPENS)

Bull Gator: What?

Squit: Hello, Bull Gator. I'm Squit.

Bull Gator: Sorry. You can't come in, there's too many already.

Squit: Look, we'll be no trouble, I promise. I mean, look at us.

Bull Gator: Fine. One of you can come in.

Squit: One, five, there's hardly any difference, perhaps we could negotiate...

Bull Gator: No. (points at Patrice) Him. He can come in. (He lets him in)

Squit: Oh, right, well the thing is, Brain will have to come in, too, he's supposed to be looking after…

(Shuts the door.)

Squit: (sarcastically) Great. So we can add Patrice to the growing list of people more popular than us.

Pesto: DAT'S IT! (As he attacks Squit)

Pinky: (looking through the window) Fucking John's in there! And he's with a girl! He's got his hand on her tit!

Wakko: This is too tragic.

Brain: Holy shit.

Pinky: And Charlotte Big Jugs is in there.

Pesto: (as he finishes beating up Squit, leaving him with a black eye and bruises) Nice! (laughs)

Squit: (pushes Pesto away) Oh, c'mon!

Pinky: Time for Plan B.

Squit: (sarcastically) Oh, right, there's a Plan B, is there?! Plan A was so brilliantly devised I wouldn't have thought we'd need a Plan B! What is it?! Climb over a fuckin' fence?!

(The scene cuts to the Buster Bunny's fence near his backyard.)

Squit: I can't believe we're actually doing this!

Pinky: Don't shit yourself. It's only a fence, it won't bite.

Squit: Yes, Pinky, except I'm not worried about it biting, I'm worried about breaking my neck.

Pinky: Come on, it'll be sick, climbing and shit.

Squit: Will it tho? There must be another way.

Pinky: (looks at the backyard) Ah, it's full of puh. Give us a push, Wak.

(They all climb up the fence and jump into the backyard, except for Squit.)

Squit: Guys, c'mon, get a grip! I'm just not made for climbing, y'know? Maybe one of these panels is loose. (he saw a small gap in the fence) There's a gap here! (he gets into the backyard through the gap but struggles.)

Pinky: Jesus, did you even bother to lose weight at all? Just look ya, maybe that's why you're struggling!

Pesto: Come on, Squit. Just hurry up!

Squit: Huh? (He gets dog shit on his sleeve of his white suit) Oh, for Christ's sake!

Wakko: Why's he always gotta be different?

Pinky: Just hurry the fuck up, tubby, everyone's looking!

(Everyone was looking at them as Bull Gator came along.)

Bull Gator: The hell's going on?

Squit: Oh, hi, Bull. (he got out) As I was saying, it's quite important we look after Patrice.

Bull Gator: And you stepped on dog shit?

Squit: Yes, I have. But ask yourself why? That you've excluded us from this party because of some vague rules about popularity is ridiculous. Although it looks like we climbed a fence and crawled through dog shit, what we've done is challenged your social apartheid.

Bull Gator: You weren't invited 'coz you're not on the list.

Squit: That makes sense too, I suppose.

Buster: (he came to the backyard) The hell's going on? (saw Squit, Pinky, Brain, Pesto and Wakko) Guys! Long time so see!

Pinky: Nice to meet ya, bruh!

Buster: Welcome to my party, make yourselves at home! (looks at Bull Gator, angrily) Dude, why didn't you tell me about this?! (leaves)

Bull Gator: I dunno, they weren't on the list! (looks back at the others) God, if you're that desperate then just ask. But take that suit off before you go inside. (leaves)

Squit: Sweet, nice one!

Brain: He's right about the suit tho, it stinks.

Wakko: Oh, bruh, that is rank. It's all up your sleeve, look.

(Squit takes off his suit which it leads to the others laughing at his black vest he was wearing underneath.)

Wakko: Oh, Christ! (laughs)

Pinky: What the fuck is that?! (laughs)

(Pesto laughs hysterically)

Brain: Oh, my God. (holds in the laugher)

Squit: (annoyed) It was a present from my mom, okay!

Brain: And you've worn it?

Pinky: She been getting gift ideas from Pesto's old man?

Pesto: My dad's not bent!

Wakko: Honestly, that's not a good look.

Squit: Well, we've just gatecrashed a party that Big John was invited to, so none of us are winning the cool prize.

Wakko: But you are losing by a mile.

Squit: Hmph. Not for long. I'm gonna find Charlotte.

Pesto: Upstairs getting fucked, most likely.

Squit: Pesto, I've told you she's not like that! (pause) I'll check upstairs first.

(They went inside the house.)

(Squit N/R: The best thing about your birthday is everyone has to do exactly what you want.)

The Final Part: Worst Birthday Ever!

(Squit N/R: With this in mind, I went to find Charlotte.)

Plucky: (mocking Squit) Nice shirt! (laughs)

Max: (mocking Squit) Yeah, good look, briefcase.

Skippy: (mocking Squit) Someone's stolen your sleeves, boy!

Squit: (embarrassed) Yep, nice one.

Little Beeper: (mocking Squit) Where's the rest of N'Sync?

Squit: Retro, but a good one.

(Meanwhile, Pinky and Brain fight about who's using the bathroom first.)

Pinky: C'mon! Let me go first, you know I'm desperate.

Brain: Ha-ha! Unlucky. (shuts the door)

Pinky: Don't be an ass! Seriously, c'mon, bro, I'm bursting!

(Billie came along.)

Billie: Oh, hi, Pinky, are you waiting?

Pinky: Yeah! I might piss my pants any minute now.

Billie: Oh.

Pinky: Won't be too long tho!

Billie: Oh, right. I didn't know you were friends with Buster.

Pinky: Oh, no! We climbed over a fence.

(Billie looking confused)

Brain: (comes out of the bathroom as Pinky went in) Billie, hi.

Billie: Hi, Brain, how are you?

Brain: Good, you?

Billie: Yeah, pretty awesome.

Pinky: (comes out of the bathroom) Jesus Christ, Brain, what the fuck have you done in there?!

Brain: (confused) Uhhh...

Pinky: Have you been eating cat food again?! Oh, God, you've left skid marks down the bowl too! Nasty-ass!

Brain: (embarrassed) Uhhh...Billie, I didn't. I only went in for a piss.

Pinky: Oh, God, I can taste it.

Brain: (angrily) PINKY!

Billie: (disgusted) Okay, I might go upstairs now. (goes upstairs)

Brain: No, don't. I was only peeing. It was only a pee! I promise I didn't leave skid marks! (looks at Pinky, angrily) You fuckin' asshat! Why did you do that?!

Pinky: Your welcome. (Slams the door)

(Squit N/R: OK, so things weren't going exactly to plan. But if I could just find Charlotte, I was confident it would still be a birthday to remember.)

Squit: (he opens the door to see Charlotte in the bedroom) Oh, hi, Charlotte, there you are.

Charlotte: (shocked) Squit!

(Squit N/R: And I was right.)

Squit: (concerned, seeing Charlotte having sex with somebody) Uhhh...the hell's going on?!

Charlotte: Uhhh...please go away!

Squit: Time out, fella! You're not alone now. (he looks under the covers to see who it is, he noticed that it was Patrice) Oh, Patrice Salut.

Patrice: Salut.

Squit: (shocked) Wait. Are you two...?

Charlotte: (slightly annoyed) Seriously, what are you doing?

Squit: I thought we could do it together, y'know.

Charlotte: Squit, I don't know why you're doing this. And what are you wearing?

Squit: I've got a bottle of champagne at home, and I remembered when we first met we had champagne, as it's my birthday I thought maybe...I'm sorry, is he touching you right now?! (saw Patrice touching Charlotte)

Charlotte: Look, maybe we'll have a drink later.

Squit: (slightly upset) Yeah, later, of course. (he was about to leave)

Charlotte: Oh, Squit? Could you turn the light off?

Patrice: No, leave on.

Charlotte: OK. See ya, Squit.

Squit: See ya. (shuts the door)

(Squit N/R: Great. And I'd rather hoped the singlet was the worst birthday surprise. Meanwhile, my friends were making the most of finally gettin' into a cool party, by standing in a corridor, not talking to anyone, doing jack-shit.)

(Squit goes downstairs to see the others.)

Brain: Did you find Charlotte?

Squit: (upset) Um, yeah. Yeah, I did. Upstairs being fucked by Patrice!

Pesto: HA! Knew it.

Wakko: Ooh, unlucky!

Squit: Can you make him stop, please, Brain? As a birthday present?

Brain: Sorry, but no means no. That's just too weird.

Squit: Yeah, you're probably right. Let's just go home.

(Squit bumps into Newt.)

Squit: Oh, hi, Newt, I'm just going but if you were looking for Charlotte, I think she's upstairs.

Newt: (angrily) Fuck off, you prick!

Squit: (nervous) Thanks. Have a fun night!

(They all leave the party and walked down the street at night.)

(Squit N/R: So, ironically, it was Newt who gave me the best gift this year, a savagely beaten French perverted sicko.)

Brain: Holy shit! What if Newt kills him?

Squit: (annoyed) Good!

Brain: His parents will go satan on Newt's ass tho if Patrice is injured!

Pesto: (laughs evilly) Nice!

Pinky: Well, fuck 'em anyway, you'll never see him again, so what!

Brain: I meant to drop him off back at Paris and I...

Squit: (getting angry) I'm sorry, do you wanna go to France?

Brain: What? No!

Squit: Well then shut the fuck up! What about me, huh?! It's my birthday and I saw Patrice trying to mount Charlotte! The fucking baguette-eating dickhead frog!

Brain: Jesus Christ, dude. That's a bit racist.

Squit: Well he made me racist! He was racist back when he said he hates Irish-Americans, I mean c'mon, what did we do to you!?

Wakko: Did you get to see her boobies tho?

Squit: No, Wakko!

Wakko: (in disbelief) Ahhh...y'suck. Why am I not surprised?

Squit: Oh God, what if my birthdays just get worse and worse from now on?! What'll happen next year?!

Pinky: You get AIDS and die at the age of 30?

Squit: I'd have to have sex for that to happen.

Wakko: Or fuck a monkey?

Squit: Technically, that still counts as sex.

Brain: Or drink from the same cup as Pesto's dad.

Pesto: Fuck you, my dad does not have AIDS!

Pinky: Son, your dad is so AIDS, he's the one who gave it to your siblings!

Pesto: (furious) You take that back!

Pinky: That's what your siblings said to 'em. NARF!

Wakko: C'mon, bro, let's get back to yours. I'll let you beat me at Pro Evo.

Squit: Thanks, I just hope this night couldn't get worse than this.

Girl 1: (from the distance) That's them!

Newt: (from the distance, furious) What did ya say to my fuckin' sister, you fuckin scum!?

Girl 2: (from the distance) Fucking pedos!

(Newt and the girls started chasing them.)

Squit: RUN!

Pinky: Again?

Brain: Oh, shit!

(They started running as Newt and the 3 girls are still chasing them.)

Wakko: Split up, he can't get us all!

Pinky: He's got a fucking cricket bat! See ya around, bitches! (hides behind the car)

Brain: (pushing Pesto away) Pesto, go away!

Pesto: (pushes Brain back) Ayy, coo off!

Squit: This is the tin hat. Worst birthday ever!

(Squit N/R: So my birthday, or dog shit (Bull Gator: And you stepped on dog shit?), singlet, heartbreak day, as I've come to think of it, was over. It's fair to say it hadn't been the best. But I had learnt one important life lesson. If you go around to Wakko's, don't play with his Lego. EVER! (Wakko: How much Lego can you stuff up your ass?/Squit: Oh, for Christ's sake!)

THE END!

I hope you enjoyed the 6th episode of The Outsiders. Thx. See ya lata! Peace! ;)

#animaniacs #theoutsiders #goodfeathers

[fivepercentgodsandearths]

Peace, I love and miss the 80’s era in Hip Hop, there was so many conscious MC’s such as Public Enemy, Poor Righteous Teachers, X-Clan, Brand Nubian’s, Kwame, King Sun and many more. I remember how we use to rock those leather Black Power or African medallions around our necks, I still have 2 left and one hangs from my car mirror to this day. I remember Flava Flav use to wear that damn clock around his neck and I went out and bought me one. The conscious organizations: Nation of Islam on the corners recruiting and selling their papers and pies. Dr. Yorks Ansaars in the streets selling his lies. The five percenters running around with book bags full of lessons teaching everyone they come in contact with. Conscious MC’s, Conscious music was the order of the day ! But what happened ? They are now replaced with rappers who are proud to be a nigga, proud to be a gangsta, proud to be promoters of black on black crime ! I listened to Capone n Noregas Album titled “ The War Report “ and these brothers talk all this Allah this and that and all these five percent lessons on this album and then on the same album they said: “ … gag her mouth so she can’t scream and start raping her… next day FedEx the tape next day in the mail “. Sometimes I wonder, do the listeners of this type of music ever stop and think and realize that these rappers are talking about killing another black man, selling drugs to another black man, raping a black woman ? Chew on that shit ! It was Paris (east coast) who said it perfectly: “ Mindless music from the one that makes ya, think less of the one that hates ya “. Seriously, what kind of Conscious Intelligent person sits and listens to Lil’ Jon and the east side boyz or get crunk wit it ? This is filth they feed to the public as if they are human pigs ! But hey, you are what you eat , right ? What happened to Conscious music ? The end of the beginning of Conscious music started with Niggas with attitude and after them came Hoes with attitude. N.W.A. sold so many records rapping about murdering black people that these white folks said this is what we want, THIS WILL MAKE US FILTHY RICH !. But this is a designed plan bigger then A&R’s and record labels, this was bigger then the F.B.I. This was the C.riminals I.n A.ction doing. Out with this black conscious crap and lets rock the Niggers back to sleep. Next thing you know conscious rappers started dropping off like flies. Conscious rappers like Intelligent Hoodlum, changed his name to a gangsta name and started rapping about gangsta life. You got Wu-Tang in the beginning rapping about the everyday struggle in the community and dropping the Nation of Gods and Earths lessons and then they flipped the script and started rapping about sniffing coke and picking up Mafia names. Fool, you not no damn Italians ! Why would you pattern yourselves after some people that hate Black people ! Did you see The God Father when they said only sell and put the drugs in the black community because the niggas aint shit and will never be shit. This happened for real !!! Go back and watch the movie “ Panther “ ! While your eating popcorn, your missing the message Tobie ! Fiddler plays his damn violin while you buck dance and shuffle your feet for whitey ! Negroes please, you mind as well paint your face black and yell Mammy ! You fake as Five Percenters on the mic ! You know who you are, you Wu-Tang members ! On Wu-Tang forever Rza said the meaning of Wu-Tang is: “ W-whistle U-universe T- truth of A-Allahs N-nation of the G-gods. Did Rza tell Wu-Tang what happened to his ass at the Nation of Gods and Earths 1997 annual Show & Prove ? Of course not ! Remember before 1997 he use to wear a cross around his neck with diamonds in it. After we got a hold to his ass, we found out he didn’t know no lessons but claim to be the razor sharp of the Wu! After we got a hold to him, now look what he wears around his neck. An Iced out Universal Flag which is the Flag of the Gods and Earths. I bet he knows his lessons now. Raekwon, Gza, Ghostface, Method Man and the rest, I listen to your music and how you use our lessons. Built for Cuban links the chorus was : “ why is my niggas always selling that broke shit, lets get money son, why you want to smoke shit, chill god, yo the son don’t chill allah, what’s today’s mathematics, yo Knowledge god ! “ and on the same ablum ghost and rae said: “ you memorize the 1-40 ? I’m at the 19th degree, if the civilized man doesn’t perform his duty what shall be done?…” This is all Nation of Gods and Earths lessons ! In a Hotel lobby back in Chicago around 1995 or 96 Raekwon said we couldn’t come up and build with them, The God asked him can we have your phone number and Rae said do you know 120 degrees ? The god said no ! Raekwon looked at me and said do you know 120 and I said hell yeah ! And Raekwon gave his number to me instead. Earlier that day, when Wu-Tang entered the door of the concert, I walked up to Ol’ Dirty Bastard and said Peace God !! Can I kick it with you all back stage, he and Rza asked me did I know 120 degrees and I said true indeed God and they said come on. 120 degrees are 120 questions and answers required for those in the Nation of gods and earths to memorize verbatim word for word. My whole point for saying all of this is, simple and plain you used our lessons to put a conscious message out and yet you never donated or gave a dime back to us. Method Man wearing our flag and has a righteous Five Percent name and I don’t know wear the hell he got it from but he donated over $10,000 to the columbine high school but Allah School in Mecca ( 5eadquarters in New york) floor was about to fall in at that time and you want to give these crackers money because little billy shot up his fellow devils !? I see Hell Razah, Killah Priest, 4th Disciple, Gza and more of these Pseudo-Conscious Wu-Tang members on Myspace and I ask them about doing a fundraiser here in Chicago so that I can raise money and start a community center to teach the youth about their culture and etc. and they take it as an insult. If I say, lets do a benefit concert to help the victims of September 11th or Hurricane Katrina you Negroes will break your neck for that. At least Arrested Development on Myspace is at least considering it and have not took it as a insult. Their down to earth and are not full of themselves, I respect them even if they decide and tell me no because they took the time to hear me out and see my legal paperwork. Wu members, I listen to your music on myspace, fool your not deep ! Your knowledge is a snack. Some of those Fischer Price lyrics you can take back to the Toys R Us. On return to the 36 chambers of Ol’ Dirty Bastards album, they couldn’t of said it no better: “ Coming in the name to proclaim your fame for protection, and you don’t know no fuckin lessons ! “ and Rza said on the same album: “ A Five Percent, but all he knew was 1-10, he love the Gods with his heart but his brain was full of sin… “. AFTER YOU READ THIS, YOU’LL PROBABLY PUT ON YOUR PAGE YOUR NOT A Five Percent, but let me do you a favor the only “ real “ members of the Nation of God’s & Earths that are Wu-Tang members that we as the N.G.E. acknowledge are: Rza, Allah Mathematics, Ol’ Dirty Bastard, Poppa Wu, Allah Real and Masta Killah ! There maybe 2 more but anyone else is counterfeit and just use our lessons because without them their lyrics would be meaningless. Nas and Az, two more who use the terminology from our lessons. Nas said: “ as for today’s Mathematics we Allah’s children, and this goes on in every New York’s ghetto, kids listen as Five Percent says there’s pork in Jell-O “ and who remember Nas first album when him and Az said: “ We were beginners in the Hood as Five Percenters… “? and on another album Nas said: “ My movado says the God hour, that’s if you follow, tradition started at the school not far from the Apollo “ the five percent school is down the street from the Apollo theatre and the God hour means 7 o’ clock. All I’m saying is give back baby ! I shouldn’t have to ask you to come do a fundraiser, you should send money instead, for the cause that helped you sell records. Take the Five Percenter lessons away from Wu-Tangs album, Poor Righteous Teachers album, Brand Nubian Album what do you have ? Chew on that shit ! Oh yeah, I haven’t forgot you groupies. A few low self esteem women hitting me up and saving me as a friend on Myspace, asking me to teach them the lessons and yet never call me so I can do my duty as an educator and the same day they suppose to call to build, I see them all over the Wu-Tang members comment book posting messages about thank you for listening to me on the phone and I shed tears when we were on the phone. Then I look at the date before that comment, they were just saved as a friend THE DAY BEFORE. Here it is a day later after you just met him, your on the phone crying to him. Groupie shit ! Wanting me to teach you the lessons but never call when you say because your doing your groupie thing on myspace. Another one says she doesn’t have a telephone yet but posting her groupie thing all in their guest book. I’m a busy Intellectual who don’t have time for people who should be riding that little yellow school bus. Do you actually think these are real rappers ? Do you think they just have time to be on the internet everyday with you ? You talk to them on the phone but is it really them or an obsessed groupie like you ? Hamm ! Look, The Nation of Gods and Earths is not some hip hop fade. Just because Wu-Tang advocates it and unfortunately some of our lessons are in the Wu Tang manual, don’t mean its some hip hop stuff fans should study to be a wu-tang fan or groupie. This is what we teach our babies, our children, our women. This is what we live, this is our culture and everyday life. Wu-Tang got ya thinking that five percenters is all about smoking weed and stuff. Allah Jihad is a real estate investor and own properties, including the house I currently live in. I don’t smoke weed or don’t even take medications. I’m a vegetarian and live a righteous and productive life. I’m an author of a $35 book, that I have received over 12,000 e-mails to my website of people waiting to buy it. Do the math $35 x 12,00 = ? If my off the head calculation is correct, that’s $420,000 and I didn’t get on stage and profess to be something I’m not, promote genocide of my people and that’s just online customers. I’m successful and not a weed head, drug dealer nor do I act like something I’m not. You better go to www.immortalbirth.com and read “ about the author “. and on that note, I leave you as I greeted you in… P.E.A.C.E. Allah Jihad 1st. Born and elder of C-Medina(Chicago) Author of Immortal Birth of Allah: Rise of the Five Percenters Writer and reporter for the N.G.E. News (former nge power newspaperfive

https://www.wutang-corp.com/forum/showthread.php?9940-Message-from-the-honorable-Allah-Jihad-of-the-NGE-addressing-the-Wu-Tang-Clan

#Allah #Hip hop #Wu Tang Clan #RZA #Raekwon #ODB #supreme mathematics #5% nation of gods and earths #nation of gods and earths #Allah School in Mecca #Allah School in Medina #Black Business #Black enterprise #Chicago #rappers #spirituality #Erykah Badu #Hotep #fake #five percent nation #allah's five percent #Five Percenters

[joseyfeli1-blog]

Triple Threat By Josey

Oh,

here it is.

Yep,

of course.

It's stricken

I'm- Tick, Tick n'

Tick, Tick

and defective

and confusing

better get to boozing!

so won't be losing

and continuously wasting

space, time and emotions.

Can't stop the fixations.

Start of the predisposition

of jumping to conclusion

and watching the worse case scenario

wash over me like a tidal wave

while I eat these fucking oreos.

Mmm they my fave

this box is their grave

no want to save

no problem with them, They've

Got me moving to a rave.

Not such a place of tame,

all calling me lame.

If I get an attack they be the blame.

God, my heart on flame,

wish to get the fuck out and flame on,

Shit I shouldn't have came!

Feeling like imma get my puke on.

got in a stall and claim, the throne

Goddamn it's a shame that my aim is off taken,

can't remember my name,

my game is forsaken,

holy shit I have a weak frame.

In just this time frame

I could've played a computer game, changed my surname, defeated a war-game, rerouted the mainframe, made it on the hall of fame for a fuckin golf game, maybe played a board game, kissed a dame, start and end my fame, fix a window frame, fucked with a company name, screw over the family name, bounce a check over an insurance claim, try my hand in the gambling game, disinflame my heart burn, set my lust aflame, nail a picture frame on the wall of shame, stare at a candle flame, star in a con game, create a stage name,

disclaim my first name, exclaim in name that is all the same, and one of the same, and truly it is such a shame.

If only I were to overcome, this burning wart.

Now I got these Hoes

shouting spit and eating their ho-hos.

All I can wail is, "Oh no! The prom's tomorrow!"

An' all these P-O-Cs, they tellin' me!

"Won't you stop worrin' 'bout the whales!"

"No need to learn Braille!"

"Don't eat that! It's stale!"

"All you got to do is exhale!"

"I'm gonna blackmail you, for drinking that cocktail. But Imma need more detail on what makes you shake that tail, talk to me female! I mean the fuck! You a shemale? Goddamn you are a fail!"

Uhm, Hmm. Well, Uh. Mmm...

All words escaping

Mouth like a bar,

Vaping.

Best would be taping

and explaining,

and talking,

but maybe it'll end up fine.

Only awareness takes time.

Can't lie, that isn't fine,

Gotta say that sounds assanine.

Oh shit! It's nine; little late, don't you think

time for your friend?

No not one with hands and warmth,

the one where you seek for

a being that took time to make,

one that is processed for your problem.

There you go, you're getting it,

something that helps you defend, gets you out of these chills.

helps you pretend- Fuck, take your pills! Already,

No life ain't glam, Just fuckin' swallow them!

Uh, oh.

Here's the hell-

so here it is

it's gotta start

the span of its flight

has taken height.

it's been fun,

anxious.

Tonight I forget everything.

Now gets cautious,

but not an alien feeling

let it with openiness.

Till it's sealing,

not allowing leaking.

Feels cold.

Don't get bold;

just let go of your hold,

realize your worth.

Had it since birth;

it's the truth,

gotta let these go.

They say they care,

No!

Just don't want to bare.

"Don't have an idea of what to do?"

"Nothing you want to share?"

What would that do to Bo?

Nah; that's not fair.

Internalize;

keep it inside

keep it down

and pipe down!

No one wants to hear that shit!

It's your shit

you fucking handle it!

Your fault you got bit

Better fix it;

on one sit!

You're so full of shit!

You gonna be like this?

All your life?

'Til end of time?

Why must I be shite!?

Stop feeling this.

Be that Bitch!

Act fucking different!

Change yo taste,

altify your accent,

conform your heart!

Call this the opposite

site of high.

I've finished my hustle

get ready for this bustle

no need to hurry.

But bye,

Hello.

Hi-

Mind for an intro?

Your a huge reason I cry

No need for the duction,

fuck you, you mess with my diction.

Quite so.

So,

Start? No.

Why not Hoe?

Cause I love teasing you. The feeling I get from you, not needing to brew, making you feel blue, changing your life askew, fucking you like a corkscrew, kicking your ass like I know kung fu, thought you had luck to get through set proof to set through and pull through not knowing that I'll just cut through and push you and use nitro to subdue you. I know how to live up to and move into, like a metal screw, to just eff with you.

I may be a shrew, but we both know this is overdue. Oh look! navy blue, your favorite hue. Now to give you my review and cause you to mew! Thought you'd grew? And flourish, become a florist, and polish yourself, to tarnish me? You can't leave me, I am apart of you, and I come back to say boo!

I've been told to be happy.

To grow up and make it snappy.

Maybe all I need is a long nappy?

A dirt nap. A few pills can help, do it in a snap. And then you won't care whats happening, nope.

But everyone says not to, that I shouldn't strew with you. All I gotta do is sit and wait for my breakthrough, and collect my internal revenue, then I'll feel like new.

No!

What? No?

Yes! Dear god, yes! Think 'bout it, all life is a mess, no more stress over a dress, to not obsess with the success of life, to possess this gallant crest.

Do I need to digress? No more worrin' about the economic process, your life is your business, I'm the boss.

Sit all crisscross and pray under my cross. I'll tell you how to toss, and throw your life away and end up dead and glossed. Take a huff of Nos. No one wants you, you not a loss. The redcross hate you, wasted their time on you already, emboss yourself in gallons of hot sauce, seriously you are not a capital loss. Trust me, I ain't a double cross.

'S not what everyone is sayin'

Idiot! they lyin'! What? You ain't gonna give in? You want be cowadice? Fine!

Now you're scarin-

Good!

Now come on! Get the show on! Get the knife and show your brawn! Spread that fake lawn on your face and smile for a while! You've brought this on yourself! Can't blame anyone! I'm inside you! I frown upon you! You bastard can't handle this!

It'll all be gone at the swipe of a knife.

You're ridiculous.

What?

You saying that you're insidious,

So what?

You are hideous. You're acting villainous. You're my oblivion.

Look, I'm the one that-

Stop! At this period I am the one that ain't delirious. You the amphibian, you ain't got experience to run this machinery; I've been the imperious, you haven't dealt the injurious I put us through, you such a devious bitch! God you're the idiot! Acting mysterious and serious, you ain't lastin' longer than Sirius. And I'm being considerate; damn, I feel vigorous. Despiteous our affiliates it's obvious your nefarious acts are just reruns, and you're outta acts to play out and this is your last scene and as you seek a finish line you won't see an end, and you won't be seen or all you've been will just be part of a trash bin.

Now it's time for your blubberin' an' wailing! While I'll hunt you down like whale and dump your blubber where it pollutes and consume you.

You got salt?

No.

Probably cause you got smelt, and dealt with! Time to halt and exalting whale oil on you and start training for the loss of Traan and switch to partnership of solar and water transition to power of position, stop hating on trans, and take trip on a train and brain over the thought of dispossession on me from now on.

You've lost me, I ain't losing myself. Not over you.

#my words #song #lyrics #my work #me #triple threat