#but I guess at least it’s a break from school work???? idfk

[gazeboarcade]

this week is such a mf bummer

#my littlest sister is in a bad situation and had to be hospitalized #my college friend from undergrad I just found out died abt 2 months ago #I’m so goddamn tired and it’s only Wednesday :(( #I feel very lonely bc I’m struggling to communicate about everything #and I feel like an idiot for wanting attention #I feel like a bummer and a drag #I’m just so worried abt my sister and there’s legit nothing I can do!! so that blows #school is rlly stressing me out so THAT blows #lots of big things to worry abt doing #and I can’t bring myself to do them today bc I feel so sick abt my sister #and my friend #and like work is incredibly rewarding IF it goes well but mostly stresses me out lately #but I guess at least it’s a break from school work???? idfk #I’m just overwhelmed and feel rlly shitty abt myself :( #delete later

[embcrry]

ok thisss took wayyy longer than i’d expected . like it’s fucking midnight ? like guys im such a mess omfg . anywaysss * tana mongeau vc “ welcome to my trash bin daught or welcome back to my trash bin daughter ... what ? was ? that ? idfk . if you wanna plot with my overly tired ass give this post a like and i’ll love you down i promise !! also i apologize for how long this intro is going to be in advance !

new york’s very own  𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐄 " 𝐄𝐌𝐌𝐀 " 𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐘 was spotted on broadway street in 𝘓𝘖𝘜𝘉𝘖𝘜𝘛𝘐𝘕 𝘌𝘓𝘖𝘐𝘚𝘌 𝘉𝘖𝘖𝘛𝘚  . your resemblance to barbara palvin is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐃  birthday bash . while living in nyc , you’ve been labeled as being guarded , but also dependable  . i guess being a 𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 explains that . 3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be  𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘢 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘶𝘱, 𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘫𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘸𝘰𝘯 + 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘱 𝘢𝘸𝘬𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦𝘴  .  &  ( female & she/her  )  +  ( faith , 21 , she/her , est . )

𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

FULL NAME : emilie sierra berry . NICKNAME : emma , em , emma bear ( by her little sister ) . BIRTH DATE : march 1st , 1998 . AGE : 22 . GENDER : female ( cis ) . PRONOUNS : she + her . ORIENTATION :  pansexual ( attractions are equal ) , panromantic ( leans more toward women ) . BIRTH PLACE : brisbane , australia ( see home here ) . the family still owns this house but don’t use it much . HOMETOWN : new york city ( upper west side ) , new york ( see home here ) . her dad + little sister still live here today . CURRENT LOCATION : new york city ( upper east side ) , new york ( see home here ) . moved in one year ago after break up . EDUCATION LEVEL : highschool diploma .   OCCUPATION : olympic swimmer ( emulated after katie ledecky ) , socialite , escort ( no one knows ) . NET WORTH : 32million ( every year up until she’s twenty five she receives a percentage of her trust fund ) . FAMILY NET WORTH : 3.1billion ( father ) , 4.8billion ( mother + step - father ) . PARENTS : adrian berry ( father , 51 , hedge fund manager ) , natasha laffont ( mother , 48 , former super model + philanthropist ) , thomas laffont ( step - father , 50 ,  businessman + art collector ) . SIBLINGS : tatiana berry ( sister , 10 , student + ballet dancer ) , bradley laffont ( step-brother , 24 , new york rangers player ) . PETS : jagger ( ragdoll cat , picture ) , maggie ( pomeranian - husky , picture ) . NATIONALITY : australian - american . ETHNICITY : hungarian . CLOTHING STYLE : expensive yet casual ; alot of black , hoodies , leather is a staple , high end sneakers , boots , colorful suits . JEWELRY : gold ; dangly earring , cartier bracelet , tiffany rings , barbell nipple piercings. DIET : pescitarian , no dairy ( lactose intolerant ) . WORK OUT HABITS : six times a week ( mostly boxing + swimming  ) . PERSONALITY : guarded ; there is nothing emma hates more than talking about her feelings or letting anyone know who she’s feeling , she has trouble trusting people for good reason ( the girls trust issues have trust issues yall ) + dependable ; if you need anything in the world go to emma she will move mountains to get shit down for you , she’s very punctual , and super disciplined probably due to being an olympian + goofy ; she doesn’t take much too seriously tbh , ( similar to joey + phoebe from friends ) she can be a bit of a space cadet and that always ends in her making everyone laugh + stubborn ; one thing is for sure about emma she’s extremely hard headed , loves getting her way , and is incredibly unforgiving . 

𝐁𝐈𝐎𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐘 ( in bullets )

her parents met during college , where they both attended princeton university . natasha , her mom , was in the middle of her modeling career completely blowing up while adrian was already setting the foundation of his investment company . they had a whirlwind romance and were married just a year after adrian graduated from princeton . both coming from old money , emma’s grandparents on both sides are extremely meticulous about the image of their family + so the same mentality was instilled in adrian + natasha .

 emma spent the first nine years of her life in brisbane , australia . her parents had moved out to australia just a couple years before she was born for the sake of making her father’s company an international success . 

with her parents always off doing something , emma was raised by her nanny + butler . when she was six she expressed her desire to get into swimming after watching michael phelps in the 2004 summer olympics . she was in absolute awe by him + wanted to be just like him . so the next day her nanny spoke to her parents and later that day she was enrolled into a local swimming program .

when she was nine her parents broke the news to her that they were moving to new york . at first she wasn’t all too mad about the move , she didn’t have many friends in school , wasn’t a big fan of her teachers , and knew the one thing she loved she could still do in new york . her outlook on the move changed when she found out that her nanny + butler would not be making the move across the equator with them though . how dare her parents steal the only people who’d ever taken care of her away from her ? she thought . she threw an absolute fit in protest ; completely wrecking the home + locking herself away in the bathroom in her room for nearly 20 hours before her nanny talked her into coming out . 

once in new york , emma was miserable . she had tantrums everyday and even stopped swimming for a few months . what inevitably pulled her out of her funk was a trip disneyland paris + her mom bringing her out to buy a whole new wardrobe . yall ever heard of a spoiled brat ?

once she was open to the idea of new york she kind of fell in love with the city , to be honest . she grew close to her new nanny + butler , of course and fell in love with her new swimming coach .

when she was fourteen her parents got a divorce and just six months later her mom was married to a billionaire living in connecticut with a son just two years older than emma . anyone with a brain could put together that her mom had been cheating on her dad , that was except for her dad who’d fallen into denial that his ex - wife would come back . 

[ trigger warning : alcoholism , child abuse , violence ] after months of listening to her father , emma broke , the two got in a huge screaming match about how her mom wasn’t coming back saying things like “this is so pathetic, stop graveling over a women who doesn’t want you” + “she doesn’t want you” + “just move on, she’s never coming back, she’s fucking an art collector in connecticut”. mind you she’s fourteen talking to her dad like this , yikes . he started spiraling after that , drinking heavily , doing coke more than just at events , and when emma copped an attitude he’d hit her . it started with just a rough slap , pushing her into the pool or down the stairs , and then it turned into punching her . it got so bad her coach started noticing during swim practices and inevitably threatened her dad , either he let her move in with him or he’d call the police . so , not wanting a tarnished reputation , her dad sent her off to live with her swim coach .

[ trigger warning : grooming ] life with her swim coach was cool , she got to swim alot more plus he was extremely high profile due to sending swimmers to the olympics as well acting in a few movies so she got to go to alot of events with him all across the world . she enjoyed her time with him more than she’d enjoyed the entirety of her life and then he got her to the 2012 olympics in london + her trust and appreciation for him sky rocketed . in her eyes no one int he world could or did love her more .

coming back from the olympics , her had fully sobered up and was ready to bring emma back home .  her and her coach weren’t completely gun ho for the move but she inevitably moved back home with her father .

[ trigger warning : statutory rape ] just a month after being back home , her coach started being a little too touchy with her . she felt uncomfortable by his advances but figured her was only taking care of her . then he kissed her and she was pretty creeped out so she asked what he was doing , basically the creep told her he was just missing her alot because she wasn’t living with him and reminded her about how he was really the only person who cared about her . she accepted what he said and soon after they started sleeping together regularly . he didn’t even have to tell her not to tell anyone , she innately knew if she ever told anyone he wouldn’t be her coach anymore and emma just wasn’t willing to lose the best coach she’d ever had . this continued for a little over a year until she went to the doctors and her mom went with her , her mom stayed in the room because the check up wasn’t all that invasive + then when her doctor asked her if she was sexually active her mom answered no but emma , not wanting to lie , stayed silent . she inevitably confessed at the appointment that she was sexually active . her mom freaked out and wanted to know who but of course emma didn’t spill that . she inevitably lied and said some guy she went to school with . within a week her mom found out she lied and refused to let emma go anywhere until she confessed who she was sleeping with . knowing her mom wouldn’t let up she told her it was her coach + that it wasn’t a big deal . but emma knew it was . her mom gave her coach an ultimatum he either quit coaching for good or she’d turn him in . she he quit and emma never heard from him again . 

she stopped talking to her more directly after that + stopped going back to connecticut for the weekends like she had been since her parents divorce . she was now sixteen without a swimming coach + completely mad at the world .  she’d had a rough few years , to say the least . she turned to partying , HEAVY , to cope with it all . she slept with anyone who so much as gave her a second look she didn’t care if they were older than her , had a girlfriend / boyfriend , if you were into her you could have her . it took her almost five months before she committed to a swim coach + they really whipped her back into shape . no more partying , emma went from school to practice and then home . it was awfully boring for the new party girl but she had one of the best coaches in the world + they promised to stop coaching her had she not listened to their every word . the only thing she cared more about then letting loose was going to another olympics . 

she attended a private school in manhattan where she completely smashed each and everyone of the school, districts , and state records in swimming . she was never big into her academics but she upheld a b average for the sake of being able to stay on the schools swimming team . if she received anything less than a b she would guilt her dad into giving her school a donation so they’d give her the grade she felt she deserved . 

she graduated from highschool in 2016 and although she was accepted into multiple schools across the nation , with athletic full ride offers from each school  , but she inevitably declined each school because she did want to spend another second behind a desk . knowing her dad would never approve of her not going to college , with his ivy league education ass , she lied to him and said she was attending nyu . 

she went to the 2016 olympics in rio and completely dominated ( 4 gold medals , 1 silver + breaking five world/olympic/american records in the meets ) . 

just months in 2017 her dad started to pick up on her lie about attending college . telling her she needed to enroll immediately or he’d cut her off . calling his bluff she didn’t enroll . she quickly learned that he wasn’t bluffing when he completely cut her off , telling her she had a month to find a place to live and move out .  

thanks to her olympics money + her endorsements with tyr sports + adidas she had enough money to get an apartment but her saving would deplete quick so she knew she needed to do something to make alot of money + quick .

desperate and running out of time emma joined seeking arrangements under an alias as sierra meyers . there were a few success and plenty of total blunders on the site but she got lucky with the first women she met with who offered to get her into escorting . emma didn’t even give it a second thought before she said yes , the only thing she asked is that the clientele not want her to attend highly publicized events with her as she's quickly get caught due to her socialite status   . 

within a year she’d made half of what her entire lifes work had made her , she grew obsessed with escorting and what made it crazy was there were people who would pay her half a million just to have dinner and talk with her . of course , those were the unicorns though because most wanted to sleep with her at the end of the night . 

when she turned twenty one her dad gave in and gave her back her blackcard + even offered to move her back into the house , she took the credit card but decided to continue living outside of his walls . 

she could’ve quit escorting right then and there , but she’d grown an addiction if you will to her work . there was something about the secrecy of it + her ability to make millions so easily that kept her going .

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

former roommate ; these two moved in together after her dad kicked her out + even though she moved in with someone else months after they signed the lease she payed them for her half of the rent for the rest of the lease , ex ; they dated when she was cut off by her dad + they inevitably moved into together they could of had a rocky or really good relationship by broke up around this time last year , the guy she “ lost “ her virginity to ; he didn’t actually take her virginity , in truth these two could very well have never even slept together but he’s the guy she lied to her about sleeping with to cover up sleeping with her coach he found out about her lie when emma’s mom asked his parents if he was sleeping with emma we can decide where things went from there between these two , suspicious friend ; they’re starting to pick up on her random disappearing + secrecy , maybe they start following her at some point and inevitably confront her about escorting or maybe they think she’s doing something else and accuse her of that ? , first girlfriend , more exes , people she’s slept with , someone who she slept with + they had a significant other , fellow olympians , travel buddy , podcast co-host ; these two came up with an idea recently to start a podcast , they haven't released it just yet but it’d be similar to call her daddy / impulsive !

#wealthyhq:intro #* spongebob narrator vc * 200 yrs laterrr #🧜‍♀️ ⋆ ◜you dont own me / 𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓻𝓸 .

[httpxcastiel-blog]

idfk how tumblr works so heres a thing

pairing: destiel

(idk wth im thinking, its three in the morning as im writing this, give me a break)

Summary: Basically, Cas bothers Dean with a few questions about love and how to make his crush notice him in the way he wants to be noticed. Totally original plot twist: Dean is Cas’ crush and Cas makes his move.

And uh.. the story:

As Dean makes his way to the table in the bunker, he hears the pitter-patter of shoes following just behind him. Prepared for pretty much anything, Dean turns around, knife in hand, and is stopped by Cas’ own hand. 

Dean sighs. “Sorry, Cas. I’m just not used to you walking up to me like this.” He puts the knife away and relaxes himself.

“Dean, can I ask you something?” Cas speaks in a firm tone, ignoring Dean’s words.

“Yeah?”

Castiel gulps and loosens his tie, sweat moistening his skin.

“Cas, what is it?” He stares more concentrated into the angel’s eyes, almost sapphire, he thought to himself, before rushing to push the thought to the back of his head.

“Have you ever had a crush...?”

His vibrant, green eyes jerked away from his friend, and Dean found his seat and sat. “Make yourself comfy.”

Cas approaches the table, following him, and decides on a seat decently distant, and still reasonably close to Dean. Nervously, he sits and his eyes begin to wander, seemingly hitting everything in the room except Dean.

“Yeah, sure, I’ve had plenty of crushes. You can’t really pass high school without having at least one crush.” Chuckling almost silently at himself, the freckled boy leans forward in his chair, stares down at the open book in front of him that he was meant to be reading, and continues skimming through the pages where he left off.

“I have another question.” The angel stares directly at Dean now. His eyes pierce the younger boy’s, and as soon as Dean notices how focused Castiel’s stare was, he blushes a little and looks back down at the lore.

“Shoot.” Dean felt a little uncomfortable now, as an angel was staring at the top of his head and asking him questions about love. 

“What happens when you’re in love?”

“What do you mean? Like how are babies made?”

The corners of the angel’s mouth turned up and he chuckled. “No, I know that all too well. I mean...” He gets more stern. “...what do you do when you think you’re in love?”

“Oh...” Dean blushes a few shades short of ‘tomato red’ and thoughts chase each other in his mind. Angels can fall in love? Is Cas in love? With who? He jokes the thoughts away, knowing they’d only bother him until he got answers. “I guess I know a few people who would say they’d have sex and see if it lasts.”

“What do you do?”

He has to stop and think about it. Has he ever even been in love? I mean, he’s liked someone, but was it love? 

“I don’t know. I don’t think I know what love is anymore, romantically at least. I don't think I ever have. I love Sam, I loved Lisa and Ben like family, I love you...”

Cas clears his throat, now beginning to feel uncomfortable. “I think I love someone. Someone I shouldn’t.”

“Woah there, who is it?” Maybe angels can love?

“He... He’s like family to me.”

Dean stops flipping through the pages and looks over as the angel. A grin appears on his face and he’s confused as to why the way Cas worded that made him so happy.

“You like dudes or something?”

“Dean, humans are all the same to me, considering gender. And by angel standards, I don’t have a gender either. My vessel is only male.” He grows a confused look on his face, wondering why it meant anything to Dean whether or not he liked males.

“He’s human? I thought angels couldn’t like humans.”

“It’s not necessarily approved of back in heaven...”

“Oh, you rebel.” Dean leans forward to playfully punch Cas in the arm. 

“How do I show him I like him?” 

“Dude, I don’t know. Just be upfront with him.” Dean’s focus travels back to the pages

“O-Okay,,,” Cas stands up and walks toward his chair, waiting to gather all of Dean’s attention.

As Dean turns, just after their eyes meet, Cas pulls him in for a kiss, tilting his head up by the chin. 

As fast as he pulled Dean in, Cas pulls away, and stares into Dean’s emerald eyes for just a few seconds more. He’d treasure these moments, and he’d stow them away so that he could look over them later. They always comforted him.

“Cas?”

“Y-Yes Dean?” The angel, now red, turns his head towards the exit, expecting to be yelled at or kicked out.

“Do that again and this time, don’t you dare stop.”

--I KNOW THIS KINDA SUCKS BUT PLEASE FORGIVE ME IM BAD AT THIS OKAY? JUST TAKE IT AND LEAVE PLEASE LMAO--

#destiel #deancas #casdean #destiel oneshot #castiel #supernatural #dean #dean winchester #cas

[sizzleitupwithmaria]

i guess i have to return the favor now @baura-bear

anemone: favorite flower? 

i really like baby’s breath

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show? 

frasier babeyyy

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

idfk

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes? 

“dude, i just jizzed” (please don’t ask for context)

Aubrieta: Favorite drink? 

i’ve been vibing with san pellegrino lately

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? 

probably not

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love? 

yeah

Baneberries: Favorite song? 

the punch up of you make my dreams from punch up the jam

Basket of Gold: Describe your family. 

everyone hates each other and i don’t want them to do that

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? 

not really?

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

n i g h t

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

a cat so i could sleep for a long time

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? 

a farmer??

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children? 

some are fine but they’re mostly shit

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

i’m afraid of death bc what the fuck happens??

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood. 

the first album i remember listening to is rumors by fleetwood mac

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth? 

idfk it’s like 9pm i’m tired

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go? 

right now? nyc

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved? 

when people acknowledge my existence whoops

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

eh

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?  

just a sweatshirt, i’m about to Sleep

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

yeah

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged? 

my friend ashley

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed? 

uhhhh classified (it’s nothing scandalous)

Columbine: Are you tired? 

when am i not tired

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?

the weekend and also my crush’s birthday so i can talk to him whoops

Coneflower: Dream job? 

art historian that acts on the side

Crocus: Have you ever been in love? 

yeah

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about? 

i’d get hurt a lot but i wouldn’t die

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it? 

i have a purple build a bear that i made with my best friend in first grade, i still sleep with it

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering? 

by the greater population? no

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

getting “cast” in play as a freshman

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)? l

fuck them

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?

probably one of my friends

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at? 

mario kart babey

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at? 

talking to other people

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?

i’ve maintained a 4.21 gpa, i got cast in play, and i talked to my crush quite a bit

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today? 

average

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life? 

sure why not

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two? 

have a bf or gf LMAO

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed? 

queen dance parties

Hellebore: How do you show affection? 

by saying very nice things

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?  

i like to write and take more ap art history notes than i should

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything? 

my own brain?? the internet??

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have? 

quite a few i’d say

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? 

idk, somebody once said i had a red aura

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

depends on the day, rn i think i’m fucking ugly lmao

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself? 

my lips and my laugh (weirdly)

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?

my body shape in general

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child? 

when i was two years old i had a set of alphabet blocks and when i was sorting them i used to hold onto the one that said “C” because there was a picture of a cat on it. it’s sitting on my windowsill now

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid? 

idfk

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for? 

uhhhhhhhhhh

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about? 

BEING QUEER LMAO

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name? 

idk what it means but i’m named after maria von trapp :)

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.

columbus ohio, aka NYC Lite (at least in my opinion)

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up? 

sky blue with purple peace signs and full of a bunch of shit

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?  

they’re alright so far, better than preteen years

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

i was turning 12? and one of the two friends i had over called their mom to leave early without telling me. yeah.

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

NOT WELL

Pink: Where is home? 

my house?

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change? 

my personal life i have no idea but i’d like to preserve the library of alexandria

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them. 

ummmmm they’re a good artist and also funny

Primrose: Describe your ideal life. 

living in an apartment in nyc, having a nice wife and a cat or two and working at the met

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child? 

my father’s love

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory? 

fall play sleepover last year

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory? 

uhhhhh either beginning of october two years ago or winter break two years ago

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want? 

to have my room clean

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things? 

depends on who i’m talking to

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without? 

theater

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night? 

like eight hours? maybe seven

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning? 

i have to go to school

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

my jean jacket that i painted :)

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.

like...... alternative androgynous artist? sure

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?

literally just a hug

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now? 

my history test tomorrow

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called? 

i read of mice and men for english class and i’m currently rereading good omens

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year? i

lead role in the fall play with good grades

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is? 

yes but i wish i didn’t

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.

i have a crush on three people rn WHOOPSY DAISY

#nice lmao

[littlemulattokitten]

Dating App Conundrums

Alright so I’ve been planning to do this for a while, and may make a thing out of it just to chronicle the adventure from single to hopefully not, but who knows. 

Basically I decided to research a few dating apps and try them out, since I’m the type of person who’s content to stay home, but also only likes going out with a friend or small group (not alone) - therefore my chances of meeting people are probably in the negatives without dating services like the ones I’m currently on.

This post will probably end up being both a review of some of these apps as well as a master shitpost detailing the adventures of a straight female attempting to find a straight male to date online. And I know Tumblr well enough that at least half the people who read this will have yet another reason to be proud of their not straight orientation. Because good fucking lord the nonsense I’ve seen.

Storytime begins below the cut. This isn’t going to be short. That’s your warning. It will probably be funny at some points though. It’s funny to live it, at least. And I may break it into parts, Idk yet.

Let’s get a few things out of the way first.

Until this experiment, I’d never used dating apps ever. I knew of them. Hated them on principle (dislike them even more now, but we’ll get into that later) and wanted nothing to do with them. I knew a few people who were happily married to a Match.com or OKCupid match but aside from that – I’d never even downloaded Tinder like everyone else I knew in HS and college.

I haven’t actually dated anyone since my first semester of college. On purpose. I broke off my engagement to my elementary school sweetheart (thankfully we are still good friends and our friendship recovered from that near disaster) and I just wanted to focus on myself for a while.

The small handful of relationships I have had that lasted longer than 6 months taught me a lot about what I want in my ideal mate. The one or two less-than-6-months-barely-relationships I had in high school taught me A LOT about what I will never put up with from people.

My “type” isn’t reflective of my dating history. I’ve gotten to the point with these apps where I’m combining their shallow-indorsing metrics with my own personal preferences. Basically going through an aesthetic checklist then scanning through their profile to see if the actual person is equally pretty.

Spoiler, I have to swipe left A LOT.

I’m a very particular person. I’m very introverted and I hate when someone makes conversation harder than it has to be. I can hold a conversation. I just refuse to be the only one putting effort into it. (This makes more sense later)

I’m beyond fed up with dating app culture but my perfect or close enough to perfect guy has gotta exist so most of my accounts will remain I fucking guess.

I’m not necessarily looking for Mr. Forever. I’ll gladly keep him if I find him, but I’m also not looking for a relationship that I know will be temporary. I don’t do things by halves. I want something solid, whether it lasts forever or not depends on a lot of things.

I CAN’T EMOTIONALLY MULTITASK. I can really only give one person my full interest and attention at a time, which doesn’t bode well for these apps bc you gotta be able to bounce form one to the next no matter how excited you were about someone. These apps fucking suck.

Okay. Now let’s begin properly.

I started with Bumble. Yes. I know. Introverted female starting on a dating app that requires her to make the first move. That can’t go badly right.

I damn near have a panic attack every time I get a match I stg. Anyway.

I was skeptical at first. I’m not huge on people knowing a lot about me from the outset (or I wasn’t - i give so much less of a fuck now bc it makes almost no difference on these things) so my profile was pretty threadbare and cold. Now, a few weeks later, my profile is an efficient snapshot with a splash of Slytherin “Don’t fucking test me.”

Did I mention I’m an INTJ Scorpio? Yeah my entire approach is gonna scream that and my Hogwarts house, just you wait.

Round 1 ~ Bumble 🐝🍯

Okay so Bumble is interesting. For those who don’t know, it’s basically Beehive-Themed Tinder except for heterosexual couples, the lady has to initiate conversation. (Either party in a same sex match can message first) She has 24 hours from the point where her and a fella have “matched” to do so, then he has 24 hours to respond and seal the match – ending the time limits.

Bumble also gives you a rough estimate of how far away someone is sometimes. I’ve read articles about how bumble’s location estimate feature has ruined relationships forged through bumble and generally turned women into paranoid psychos over matches. Can. Fucking. Confirm. It’s the most annoying thing ever. Why?

Android vs Apple. That’s literally why.

The way Bumble’s location service is supposed to work is that everytime you open the app, it updates your location based on your phone or computer’s location. As far as I can tell, that’s exactly how it works on my android phone.

Apple users. Y’all are a problem. Not because I give a shit about your iPhone, I don’t give a shit do you ffs, but IOS location permissions can allow apps to update your location without the app being open.

Reread that for me.

Without. The app. Being. Open.

Which basically means if you match checks your profile, they can tell whether you’re where you were when they swiped right (say, 26 miles away) versus, oh idfk, a whole state or two away.

Real specific example I know. Why? Because I ended up unmatching a guy I REALLY wanted to get to know better because of it.

Though, to be fair, guys are really lax about how they behave on these apps in my opinion, which is a bigger problem than the stupid IOS setting.

Allow me to explain.

Dating App Etiquette 

It barely exists, but it should. Here’s the thing. On these apps, you basically swipe right on a pretty face and left on one you’re not interested in waking up to in the morning or sitting on. I’m only being half funny here. I’m convinced people use dating apps more for hookups than their intended purpose. Which, whatever, but for fuck’s sake make BumbleHookup. There’s BumbleDating, DumbleFriends, and BumbleNetwork or whatever. Just make BumbleDTF so we can filter these people out already.

BACK TO THE SINFULLY ATTRACTIVE AND INTERESTING DUDE I UNMATCHED

I’m still kinda peeved about this. In part at myself, but also just in general.

Most people seem to treat Bumble like Tinder. They don’t fill out their profile hardly at all. Have less than 3 pictures, have pictures that make it unclear who’s profile it is, or – my least favorite thing that is almost 100% regional – THEY REALLY FUCKING THINK A PICTURE OF THEM IN SUNGLASSES HOLDING A FUCKING FISH THEY JUST CAUGHT IS ATTRACTIVE. IT IS NOT. THAT’S NOT WHAT THE PICTURES ARE FOR. JUST SAY YOU LIKE TO FISH IN YOUR FUCKING PROFILE BECAUSE IF I HAVE TO LOOK AT ONE MORE MOTHER FUCKING FISH-

I’ve seen a lot of fish in the last few weeks. Like. So many that I’m basically auto swiping left if someone’s profile has less than 4 pictures and one or more contains a stupid fucking fish.

LOOK AT MY FUCKING USERNAME. LITTLEMULATTOKITTEN. IF A SELF-IDENTIFYING CAT TRAPPED IN A HUMANS BODY SAYS THERE’S TOO MANY FUCKING FISH – THERE ARE TOO MANY MOTHER FUCKING FISH.

I can guarantee this won’t be my last fish rant. You don’t understand how many fucking fish I’ve seen.

BUT THIS GUY DIDN’T HAVE ANY FISH IN HIS PROFILE.

So he already had my fucking attention. He was also startlingly handsome – not in a oh you exist off puss and nothing else there’s no other way someone as pretty as you with a penis could exist – but like “Oh. I’d…really like to look at that forever and sit on it if you’ll let me please.”

NOT ONLY DID I FIND HIM THAT ATTRACTIVE BUT HE SWIPED RIGHT ON ME TOO AND READ ENOUGH OF MY PROFILE TO ASK ME A QUESTION FROM THE LOWER HALF OF IT.

I was freaking the fuck out excited.

And frankly the odds of him seeing this are so fucking low that I’ll go ahead and tell you some specifics about the short convo we had, but nothing that could lead anyone back to him obviously.

He’d lived in my home state. First thing he asked was which city I was from. Then he guessed, claiming that guess was based off a beanie I was wearing in my second to last (I think) image available on my profile.

He’d lived in my home CITY. Which means he was familiar with the CULTURE. And would probably GET ME MORE THAN MOST GUYS IN MY AREA.

He worked in an industry/field I knew about and had almost gone into myself.

He was so fucking attractive. I have yet to come across someone who checked ever preliminary shallow box on my want list.

Biceps. Listen. We’re all a little shallow. Biceps do to me what ass and tiddy do to some guys. It’s one of the few really fucking strong visual things I have, followed by dark hair and blue eyes. But he was something of a gym rat, for sure, and I’d gladly torture myself at the gym if that man was going to be in my line of sight at all during the process.

Seriously. I’ve never seen someone who didn’t look like they had to be famous or an alien that made me go “He’s so pretty I want to cry.” EVER. I WANT TO CRY THINKING ABOUT IT BECAUSE WE’RE NOT MATCHED ANYMORE.

And last but not least – like almost every fucking match I’ve ever made, I could count his replies on one hand before he went radio silent.

So, how does this relate to that location issue, you may ask.

Because I didn’t fucking know that Bumble could update your location on some devices without you opening the app.

There’s no online/activity indicator for Bumble except their location updating. Which, when you’re really excited to get to know someone and they suddenly vanish, but they’re more likely than not still online, you might start to feel like you’ve been put on hold.

Life stuff, yes, makes sense, I get it. But these apps have push notifications (which can be buggy) and if you’ve matched with someone, odds are you’re interested enough to check back on occasion (unless you aren’t). So it quickly became a worry game.

Because, like I said, I can’t just say “I’m excited about you, but I’ll keep browsing”. I don’t work that way. Unless I’m not excited about someone, then yeah I’ll keep scatter-shotting. But if I’m not excited to get to know someone why the fuck would I swipe right.

Anyway. After a few days of silence, I was disappointed and getting bitter and the few proverbial bones I’d thrown him had gone unanswered. I knew I was overthinking it and letting my own insecurities get to me a bit, but at the end of the day, there’s a few general courtesies that should exist in online dating culture that don’t.

Why people are afraid or hesitant to say they’re too busy to respond much in their profiles is beyond me. Some guys have the right idea announcing that they’re bad at checking the app and offering their snapchat or telling matches to ask for it.

But even if you’re testing the waters with another match, we’re all on this app for the same fucking reason. Say so. I’m not the kind of person who will need to, because I don’t operate that way on these apps, but I would. Because if that person is really bothered by you finding out if you’re more compatible with someone you matched with prior to them, that tells you something about them.

Would I have been disappointed if that had been the case with this guy? Yeah, kinda. I probably would have felt like his second choice at best, even if he’d come back to chatting with me. But that’s how these fucking apps are designed. Buckle up or unmatch. Fuck your emotions and self-esteem.

I unmatched for my sanity, because that happened a few days into this whole experiment and I wasn’t on any other sites yet. I wasn’t really prepared to deal with this whole thing yet and I didn’t know what to expect. I felt like shit and decided that if he showed up in my feed again, maybe I’d super swipe him (paid extra special right swipe that tells them you REALLY like their face and whatever) but I still don’t know what I’ll do if he does. 

Lowkey hoping it was all a misunderstanding and whatever but like, not at all holding out for that because what are the fucking odds.

And again, my disappointment stems mostly from the fact that I was really excited to get to know him. The idea of finding someone on this stupid app in less than a week who wasn’t forcing his fish pictures in my face, would absolutely be the type of person to encourage my own wellness goals, and who was obviously smart because of his career path, was such an exciting thought. If we’d hit it off and gotten along really well, I’d have been so many levels of shocked and overwhelmingly happy that I just don’t know what I’d do.

When someone who looks like they’re 100% your type actually reads your profile and swipes right – you get excited. I was really excited. I’m still a little sad/disappointed, but I’m basically over it.

Other Misc. Things I’ve Learned On Bumble and other Dating Apps As a Relationship Seeking User

Take every profile with a grain of salt unless it’s so blatantly straightforward. And then still toss a pinch in.

The pretty pretty pretty buff boys who look like their players but their profiles claim they want a relationship? Odds are still players. They will try to convince you there’s 10 inches in their pants. They clearly aren’t smart enough to know that’s biologically uncomfortable for females and the best way to end up in the emergency room with a ruined cervix so don’t even swipe right. They’ll just ask for nudes.

People who use dating sites have some odd, hive mind fixation with The Office.

“Jim looking for his Pam” is in most profiles. I’m not sure why. References to The Office or mentions of The Office are about as common as all the stupid fucking fish.

I live in the wrong part of the country to find guys I’m actually going to share interests with. Just wait until I tell you about my experience so far on OK Cupid. I literally won’t find anyone where I live unless they’re from somewhere culturally similar to where I was born and are willing to move back with me. Because I am not fucking staying in the land of the god damn fish forever.

Most people don’t look at religion and politics like I do. Which is “You do you, I’ll do me, we won’t talk about it and we can peacefully do each other.” I don’t fucking care if your politics contradict mine if that’s the only thing we have not in common. Just make it a blacklisted subject and don’t let one frankly insignificant difference of opinion ruin an entire relationship or potential relationship. And same with religion. I’m not even a little religious. I don’t care if my future husband is unless it’s in my face constantly, he tries to “convert me”, get me to go to church with him, or some other blatant disrespect of my own religious standing. You worship whatever you want. I’ll right fanfiction about magic demon princes fucking their human-born demon queen every which way to Sunday. If religion is that big of a fucking deal for you, be upfront about it. Most people are in their bios. Either way, I’m really fucking sick of people who put too much weight into these two things like they actually decide how compatible you are with someone unless you let them.

I fucking hate fish.

Dating apps need more filters and ways to narrow down searches. 90% of the filters already present are shallow as all hell. What’s a few more.

Primarily let me filter out a few NAMES. This sounds super picky, but I have a really big family. 7 uncles. Over 20 cousins including the few cousins of mine who have kids. There’s a few names that would just be weird and awkward for me to associate with a significant other. If I could filter out my stepdad’s first name (which is disgustingly common but still), my biological father’s name, and a few of my uncle’s names, that’d be fucking swell. You already let me filter by religion and race. Let me filter out some fucking names damnit.

And there have to be people who have traumatic associations with names too like?????

The Office is a funny, good show and all but WHY IS EVERYONE ON THESE APPS FUCKING OBSESSED WITH IT THE WAY I’M OBSESSED WITH HARRY POTTER. I’VE SEEN IT. IT’S NOT **THAT** FUCKING FUNNY. SOMEONE EXPLAIN.

YOU HOLDING A DEAD FISH ISN’T FUCKING ATTRACTIVE SIR. THIS ISN’T THE SHAPE OF WATER. SHOW ME YOUR FACE NOT YOUR FISH.

The dating apps that are probably actually worth using all require a paid subscription.

There’s no real way to advertise that you find sex and physical intimacy very important in a relationship without making yourself sound like a cock-thirsty whore. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, you do you, but I’m looking for someone to be a slut FOR, I’m not one already and I dislike not being able to be upfront about that without being profiled or attracting fuckboys.

WHY CAN I NOT FILTER OUT PROFILES THAT CONTAIN IMAGES OF FISH

STOP WITH THE FUCKING FISH COUNTRY BOYS. ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A GIRLFRIEND OR SOMEONE TO KEEP TRACK OF YOUR TACKLEBOX? AND DON’T TELL ME THAT’S THE SAME THING, MY FAMILY IS COUNTRY. IT AIN’T THE SAME FUCKING THING. ALL THAT FISH TELLS ME IS THAT YOU’RE PROBABLY COMPENSATING FOR SOMETHING.

Judging by the few fish-fucks with their profiles filled out at all – they’re compensating for personality.

With how shallow the filters on these sites are, just go ahead and fucking add eye color, hair, etc. Seriously. If you’re gonna let me be shallow enough to only pick men of a certain ethnicity, and religion, you may as fucking well let me see if I can find a guy with blue eyes, biceps, dark hair, non religious, who doesn’t want kids without reading every fucking profile I come across.

There are way more guys on these sites who want or think they want children some day. This baffles me. But then again my primary reason for not wanting children is pregnancy and giving birth which wouldn’t be their problem so of course they want them.

I just need to auto left-swipe if I see a fish. These apps are shallow anyway. Do not make a fucking fishing joke just because I said shallow.

OK Cupid has a better matching system than Bumble and such, but it’s still irritating as all hell. You can’t choose question categories that are more important. So if I see a 91% match, but he has no sex questions filled out or our sexual compatibility is like…50%...that’s not REALLY a 91% match for me. Let me mark 2 or 3 question categories as priority for fucks sake.

The bulk of guys on these apps fall into 2 categories (for me anyway) – Not enough giveadamn to explain their presence on the site & thank u, next.

Online dating is disappointing as fuck.

I’m seriously going to lose my mind if I can’t get away from the fucking fish pictures. ENOUGH. I GET IT. I NEED TO MOVE.

Seriously – I. Need. To. Move. Back. Home. I am not meant for this part of the country. These good ole boys are meant for someone but it ain’t me and my family is fucking country. I’ve been fishing, ridden 4-wheelers, made shit out of wood for shits and giggles, helped my grandparents in the garden, eaten deer my grandfather or uncles hunted and prepared, helped chop wood, ridden in the bed of a truck, etc etc etc. But ya bitch has lifestyle goals that only include mud at scheduled times. We can go camping, but we should also go out to dinner sometimes and go clubbing or dancing other times.

I was not born with this ass to settle for a man who looks like an angel and acts like one too. Why is no one non-ironically blunt about their sexual preferences?  You cannot convince me that the majority of men lack strong opinions on this subject. SERIOUSLY. IT IS 2019 NOT 1619. God DAMNIT. You’re on a DATING SITE. THAT’S AN ASPECT OF RELATIONSHIPS THAT CAN MAKE OR BREAK THEM. BE STRAIGHTFORWARD.

It’s not even actually about sharing every interest. I don’t give a shit if he doesn’t like Harry Potter much. If he’s annoyed by the level I like it, yeah that’s an issue. Otherwise, be supportive and kind about that kinda shit. That’s all I’m asking for. That’s how I am in return.

I make shit with yarn, write off the wall fanfiction, have a lot of sexual interests I don’t usually broadcast, and don’t understand how dating sites are still this ineffective in 2019.

This is super long already so I’m gonna save the other apps for a separate installment if this one is enjoyed or whatever. Jesus. These apps, guys.

Apps I still need to talk about that probably won’t require this many words each – Hinge, Coffee Meets Bagel, OkCupid (OkC might need a few thousand words).

I’ll probably look into some other niche dating sites too because at this point, what the fuck ever - I just wanna meet someone back home or willing to move back home with me who fits some reasonable criteria parameters. And I’m not even as picky as half the profiles I’ve seen, lemme tell ya. I’m just fucking opinionated. And beyond sick of this experiment already.

Sigh.

If I ever see a fish again it’ll be too soon. Bet the first profile picture on my bumble dash later will be another fucking fish though.

Those who expressed interest: @accio-echo  |  @infallibleangel  | @aconitumluparia  and those who liked are my followers so you’ll see it. This post is so long my browser is bugging out with tags or I’d tag you all too.

#kyla bitches about things #dating apps #the dating app experiment #Bumble #things dating app articles won't warn you about #dating app conundrums

[ofphcenixes]

BLUE & LIBBY - text thread 001

texts from 3:55pm to 7:01pm

blue

hey lib. (: havent talked today. just wanted to drop in and see if u were doin alright i have memes if u need them

libby

i mean, technically we did talk. i reminded you of the moment the world stood still: when valentine and you made contact (1) time. are you okay though? you seem a little, weird

blue

i maintain that valentine was an alien in a spider suit that wanted to destroy me but u know what I mean djdjdjd just chats between us. the gc has been a june holden fest lately lmao hope it works out for them tho anyways i am always weird in ur eyes djdjhd. but im fine. shit was crazy that night and we never really got to talk about what happenedand if u wanted to talk i just want u to kno im here ABOUT NADIA bc yeah kdjdjjd

libby

don't talk to me or my son ever again yeah, wow, okay so holden stayed over the night. i only know that because i saw his stuff in her room? i think she mentioned that like, it was a one time thing but i feel like... he might be coming over again which.. is Interesting oh. yeah, no i think i'm okay. i guess just in shock. june is very broken up over it, so i'm doing my best to be a good pal, and bring loads of ice cream and kisses. /: do you wanna talk? about nadia? i know that she like, meant something to you

blue

ok good luck getting me to stop talkin to u but as for valentine? bye Felecia! is that right. hmm well he doesn’t seem like much is goin on so maybe they were just,, hanging out. bringing a bag over is pretty damning tho. and if he does come over and u see him tell that bih he owes me $ bc he ate my fucking chorizo salad ): r u proud lib?? I ate a salad by choice well I would have if Holden wasn’t a lil birch bitch DONT CENSOR ME fuck. im sorry. ): i actually wanted to see june today tbh. but if u need anyone pls let me know alright? id skip practice if u needed me, lib WELL. i mean ok i was sorta close with her in middle school and she’s always been a friend and I just. I’m just fucking numb tbh. I really can’t believe it

libby

i'll have you know that valentine died shortly after my 18th birthday so ): idk idk, why would they hang out in her room if they were "hanging out"? like they have history. i feel like thats, a little too ... suspicious given the context. in a good way though. like i hope it works out theyre both so miserable without each other. oh my god!! look at you go! so proud of you, dude! ( even if you never got to it lmao ) no, no, it's okay. june needs all the support she can get, and i don't wanna impede. i'm really fine, i just sort of need to accept it and i guess reflect on how terrible it is. she was a really sweet person and fuck i really cant believe any of it i guess

blue

fuck what kdjdjdnd I thought valentine just yeeted shit that’s not a good way to put it fuck but. im sorry lib ): ok I take it back Valentine was alright. still scared the fuck out of me tho all i know is that if i loved someone as much as holden loves june, i wouldn’t let you go **THEM fuck Damn phone Typos Djdjhdi can’t believe u make me eat green stuff its truly CRUEL whomst? I only know nadia just didn’t fucking deserve any of this. shit even daisey didn’t. i just want to protect everyone and i don’t know HOW it goes without saying that im happy to be ur uber driver for the indefinite future

libby

no omg, i took good care of my boy. idk what happened, they can live up to like 15 years so i was pretty bummed tbh. i was a bad mom he appreciates your support from the grave though i mean, i guess. but not everyone you love is going to love you back, i think that's where holden's at. not everyone wants to be clung to, and june seems reluctant besides, you know all about that. holden, the love of your life, loves june. how sad it's good for you!!! i'm helping i ... feel so badly for both of them. i can't imagine how their families must be feeling, fuck. i hate this. i'm moving to spain ah, dude you don't have to do all that. you probably are busy with practice, and holden, and work. thank you tho

blue

im sure ur a great mother. ): but still valentine was lucky to have u. and im sure he misses u in his weird spider heaven web of flies and whatever it is spiders like idk ill dm peter parker and find out i mean... guess that’s true. I suppose I dont get to see how june feels most of the time. i just wish they’d talk about it and sort it out at least. they both deserve to be happy holden is the loml that is true aksjjsjd. holden has enough room for both me and june in his heart. so i mean technically i can love someone else too?? but enough about that lmfao you definitely are helping. even coach has noticed dkdjd. making me better without even trying u can’t move without me who’s gonna get me free popcorn ): you’re just as important as practise and holden to me, lib.

libby

god, i miss him. you think the girls would be mad if i bought another one? like, to keep in my room.  i know! they're both obviously still in love, you can tell. i can't wait for them to overcome this and get to be together. also, im grateful for the amount of sleep i'm able to get now that... the room next to mine is less loud welp, i hope you find someone who is willing to share you with holden lol oMG, REALLY? IDK WHY THAT MADE ME IRRATIONALLY HAPPY LOL. WE CAN GET SALAD LATER let's go, we'll go to spain and take on a new identity. we can live along the coast and work in a bakery or something. get a puppy don't show holden that text he might cry. but dsjflk thank you, you're very important to me too. kinda my best pal

blue

u would have to ask. but if you did get another what would u call it? thanksgiving? funnily enough valentine is only a few weeks away. a sign?? i mean fuck ive known holden for years and can confirm he is happiest when he’s with june. when she’s not roasting him at least lmfao. and if my MasterPlan works im afraid things will get bad again djdjdj. I can take one for the team and try to get them to come over here tho - u don’t need to deal with that shit i hope i do too tbh. and who would I want it to be u ask? that’s right. danny devito. LETS NOT GET TOO CRAZY IVE ALREADY HAD THREE VEGETABLES THIS WERK AND ITS ONLY TUESDAY. I think it’s popcorn time 8) bold of u to assume i know where Spain is dkdjdjdjdj well he’s gonna catch on soon enough we spend every day together at this point lol

libby

i was gonna name this one patrick, after st patricks day actually lol. yes you know what's also approaching that is more important? your birthday! i know, it doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure that out. he's v much a relationship kinda dude, actually bc he's also kinda slutty lol. but even june is sad and its just, SO HARD. i hate when people are clearly, happiest together are like, nO IM GOING TO PROLONG THE MISERY. i feel like we're in a rom-com. how do we get them back together? i'll let him know. my v-day gift from me to you oooo, should i get the skittles ready too then? popcorn is kinda of a veggie if you think abt it omg, okay well now you can't come with me. offer rescinded. im going with the hot cop lslsfkjdjkldfs i mean its not like we're doing anything weird, so its okay, right?

blue

ur so cute wtf. although if u did do this i hope u know im calling him patrick star. also how the fuck do u tell if its a female or a male spider theyre so small and gross. fuck it is too lol. i dont have any money so im gonna let ppl down on the party front lmao. ud still come tho, right? how can he be both slutty and relationshippy. like not to be weird bc i know hes ur cousin and all dkfjgg but he doesnt.. have people over anymore. unless hes someone learned not to stomp around the house WHICH I DONT BELIEVE. and ha hA im already on plan 384 to get them back together get on my level lmao.  we just gotta force them to spend time together tbh. does that mean i have to give u the hot cop for valentines bc i mean. i would if that's what u wanted but im sure u can do much better than him OH FUCK UR RIGHT OUR WHOLE RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN A LIE TO CONVERT ME TO VEGGIES HASNT IT r u breaking up with me? well fine, ill take the dog ): it's... it's not weird unless we make it weird. and we haven't. have we?

libby

fdsjfjdsl shhhhh, back at you. Patrick Star will be his full name, i promise you this much. as for gender idfk, i am honestly assuming its pronouns lol. i'd be sued by the LGBT community if they knew. also dude, of course. i'll make you cupcakes. plus i know what i wanna buy you! i  can't wait dude what? really?? i thought he was seeing people this whole time, holy shit. dude he's really messed up over this huh? wow, okay, we need to kick this into high gear and have them get back together. tell me your plans. omg, no you clown. i don't even like him that much, he's just pretty. i do like... some personality and he has 0 GOD MY PLAN HAS BEEN FOILED. I CANT BELIEVE IT like i'd ever let you take the dog. she's mine sdfjlkdsfjlk iDK DUDE. I MAY HAVE MADE IT WEIRD BUT WE'RE BAD AT TALKING ABT STUFF, SO WE DONT HAVE TO LOL.

blue

do spiders even have gender i thought they were just the minions of evil lmfao lib u rly dont have to get me anything, really. altho now im curious tbh. but get ready for me to get a lit gift in june >:) ill even wrap it myself which says a lot bc i cant wrap for shit but i want it to be personal lmao not many that im aware of atm. will give u info is this changes. huh we r spies lib. >:) but i dont have any current plans except trying to force them to go in a photo booth together or something when we eventually go to the arcade djsjdh omg how did u know. but idk everyone speaks about him like hes gOD he’s just a dude. eyebrows on fleek tho I will say that IM SO HURT UD USE ME LIKE THIS LIB. ALL THIS TIME WE WERE GETTING CLOSE AND U WERE ONLY HERE FOR THE VEGGIES so u get Spain AND the dog. what do I get, sadness ???? you haven’t made it weird lib, i promise. not to me, anyway. maybe we both wanted the same thing. maybe. oR MAYBE NOT LMFAO but yeah we can talk about whatever lol

libby

don't talk about nate like that omg! i want to, plus its a surprise so no asking what it is. also wow i cant believe you remember my birthday, lol. you dont have to get me anything. you can buy me an ice cream though oh my gOD THAT'S BRILLIANT! aw, what if they take one of those cute kiss pictures in the photobooth like in the movies? i can't wait for them to love each other again, they're so cute. are you jealous that no one is talking about your eyebrows? you have nice eyebrows and nothing to be jealous abt GOD, IM SO SORRY. ROY HIRED ME. HE WAS WORRIED ABT YOUR HEALTH. IM SORRY YOU HAD TO FIND OUT THIS WAY. I THOUGHT YOU NEVER WOULD /: you get the memory of what we were to keep you warm right, cool. noted

blue

why do u talk about the string bean all the time i know u grew up with him but seriously he's like a pale pipe cleaner that i dont need in my life ofc i remeber ur birthday lib. dont u remember ur 10th?? probably the best day of my life lmao. and if u get me something i get u something thats how this works as long as june doesnt say anything mean and holden say anything stupid, its a pretty solid plan tbh. im not jealous HOW DARE ROY PLAY ME LIKE THIS. cant believe u betrayed me lib, after all we've been through ;-; but what if i want something to sell off now that u took the house oh fuck lib i didn't mean it like that. just... pretend i said nothing ok and. yeah talk about something else

libby

hey sorry, i gotta go. talk tomorrow.

blue

oh is everything ok? but alright talk tomorrow then i guess bye lib

libby

night

blue

its 6pm lib but okay night

blue

lib if i did something u dont have to tell me but pls know i didnt mean it, whatever it was. i hope youre okay. but i wont bother u again i promise. just. yeah

libby

it's okay, dude. i'm fine. it's honestly my own fault, it's not you. you're always great. i'm sorry. it's fine

blue

i dont understand what ur talking about but i can tell u dont want to so ill just... leave this. but you're always great too lib. the greatest, in fact. just let me know if ur still coming to the arcade later or not yeah

libby

i guess i'll go. i like pacman.

blue

if u... if u change ur mind i understand. but i really hope u can make it.

#( blue ; converse ! ) #( blue & libby ! ) #WE LOVE CRYING

[choisgirls]

BAM! Bold true statements then tag

TIGGITY TAGGITY HERES THIS SWAGGITY AND IM NOT EVEN SORRY THIS TIME

tagged by: @a-mess-of-a-princess

APPEARANCE:

I am 5'7" or taller I wear glasses (4: um i should be at least) I have at least one tattoo (4: i got em planned i just need the mons smh) I have at least one piercing I have blonde hair I have brown eyes I have short hair My abs are at least somewhat defined I have or have had braces PERSONALITY: I love meeting new people People tell me that I’m funny Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me I enjoy physical challenges I enjoy mental challenges I’m playfully rude with people I know well I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it ABILITY: I can sing well I can play an instrument I can do over 30 pushups without stopping (4: bitch even /i/ gotta stop in between) I’m a fast runner I can draw well (4: people tell me i can i guess idfk) I have a good memory I’m good at doing math in my head I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch

I know how to throw a proper punch 

(4: dont fuck with me)

HOBBIES: I enjoy playing sports I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else (4: i was?) I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else I have learned a new song in the past week I work out at least once a week I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months I have drawn something in the past month Fandoms are my #1 passion I do or have done martial arts EXPERIENCES: I have had my first kiss I have had alcohol I have scored the winning goal in a sports game I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting I have been at an overnight event I have been in a taxi I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year I have beaten a video game in one day I have visited another country I have been to one of my favourite band’s concerts RELATIONSHIPS: I’m in a relationship I have a crush on a celebrity I have a crush on someone I know I have been in at least 3 relationships I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them I get crushes easily I have had a crush on someone for over a year I have been in a relationship for at least a year I have had feelings for a friend MY LIFE: I have at least one person I consider a “best friend” I live close to my school (university dorm!) My parents are still together I have at least one sibling I live in the United States There is snow right now where I live I have hung out with a friend in the past month I have a smartphone I have at least 15 CD’s I share my room with someone RANDOM SHIT: I have break-danced I have had a teacher with the last name that’s hard to pronounce I have dyed my hair I’m listening to one song on repeat right now I have punched someone in the past week I know someone who has gone to jail I have broken a bone I have eaten a waffle today I know what I want to do with my life I speak at least 2 languages I have made a new friend in the past year

ew listen i love being tagged but tagging people is hARD, HNNNNN @mymistakewriting @beautiful-mystic-mess @paleasamoon @wishful-lolita

#hi have this #youre welcome #admin 404 #not a request #not mystic messenger #reblog #tag meme

[sketchesandnonesense]

idfk man I ended up writing a thing w/ Milly n my shitty db OCs n it sucks 

enjoy or somethin

Milly regretted coming here. She stood awkwardly out on the front step, pillow under her arm and a beat up duffle bag in hand that she may or may not have stolen. She felt like she was in fucking elementary school again, waiting outside for her new friends to open the door already. How'd they managed to convince her to come here anyway?

Oh right. 

Milly agreed to come if there was booze, and they promised her they'd have some.

They fucking better.

She rang the doorbell again, tapping her foot and considering kicking the door in. The door swung open just before Milly could make up her mind on whether or not this was gonna go from a slumber party to a breaking and entering. The first of her newer henchmen, A tan skinned girl with slightly spikey black hair and a red beanie. Same outfit as her other cronies, only she had a skirt and knee highs to complete the look instead of the standard pants. She gave Milly a manic grin, bouncing on her toes excitedly.

"BOSS! I didn't think you'd actually come!" The shorter woman clapped her hands together with glee.

"Yeah, well, How can I pass up free booze?" Milly half joked, pushing past her and making her way inside. "Lilly, right?" Milly pointed at her.

"Uh, Jill" She corrected, somewhat awkwardly. "Lilly's my sister." "right right" Milly used her foot to close the door behind her. Jill was visibly nervous.

"So, uh- This way's me 'n Lil's room" She led Milly off down a hallway, pointing out the linen closet and the bathroom on the way. She opened the door to the girls' shared bedroom, Lilly sitting on the end of the king sized bed they shared and playing video games on their decently sized but fairly out of date TV. She mirrored her sister's fashion sense almost perfectly, only she decided to go with standard pants instead of a skirt. Her long black hair hid her face from view somewhat as she didn't turn away from her game.

The room was adequitely sized, plenty of room for the king sized bed and two dressers, the entertainment center with the TV on top of it and DVDs stacked on shelves nearby along with an assortment of old games. On the far side of the room there was a pile of dirty laundry, mostly consisting of brown pants and red sweaters. There was acouple of bottles of wine sitting on the bedside table.

So they didn't lie.

"Just set your stuff wherever," Jill shrugged. "Hey Lil! Boss is here!" Lilly paused her game and looked over at her sister and their boss. She blinked, taking a moment to figure out what was going on apparently. Although with abit of a delay, her face lit up. "Hey girl!" Lilly greeted, setting down her controller and uncrossing her legs. "You actually came! wow!" She laughed, leaning down to pick up her slurpee she'd set on the floor and took a long sip. Milly awkwardly dumped her duffle bag in the corner along with her pillow.

"So," Jill quickly scuttled over to the DVD shelf and picked up two anime dvds, holding them both up with a grin. "Which should we watch first?"

Milly lowkey hated she was having as much fun as she did with these two. They'd been watching bad anime and laughing at it together for acouple hours now, halfway through their first bottle of wine. Lilly and Jill had changed into Pyjamas halfway through their marathon, n Milly eventually did the same since it was getting late. Didn't wanna pass out in her cape and wake up strangled by it. When Milly came back in the room wearing an old tanktop and shorts, Jill looked away suddenly, opting to stare out the adjacent window to avert her eyes.

"what?" Milly gave her a look as Lilly snickered.

"She's just got the hots for you and is being -FUCKING OW- JILL WHAT THE FUCK" Lilly elbowed her sister in retaliation to getting kicked, the two shoving eachother and trying to push the other off the bed.

Milly brushed it off as siblings being dicks to eachother, grabbing a pillow and whacking Jill upside the head with it. This knocked her into Lilly, causing both of them to fall off the bed.

"Fuckin' asshole" Jill grumbled, getting off her sister and climbing back on the bed only to get smacked in the face with a pillow yet again. Lilly cackled at the sight and snatched another pillow off of the bed.

"PILLOW FIIIIGHT" Lilly screeched, joining in on wailing on poor Jill with pillows as both her and Milly cackled at her expense

. Eventually she managed to crawl to the other side of the bed and grab her own pillow, using it as a shield until Lilly got the bright idea to hit Milly instead.

Milly gave her a look, staring at her for a moment before slamming her in the side with her pillow, showing zero mercy. 

The pillow fight just got real.

After about 30 minutes of walloping eachother with pillows, they finally decided to stop when they were getting tired and Jill had nearly managed to knock Milly into the TV.

They went back to watching anime for abit, still sipping on what was left of the wine.

"Honestly sucks we only got subs." Lilly grumbled, taking a swig from the second bottle they'd opened.

"What? You're kidding" Milly gave her a look of mild disgust. "The dub for this was fucking terrible."

"Still better than subs," Lilly hummed, nearly choking when Milly stole the wine bottle from her mid sip.

"Take it back"

"Wha-"

"The dub is fucking awful." Milly reiterated. Jill quietly took the bottle from Milly, not wanting to let her have an impromptu weapon should the fight escalate. She quietly slunk to the other side of the bed, not wanting any part.

"I. Like. The. Dub." Lilly glared up at Milly, sitting up and crossing her arms.

"The. Subs. Are. Better." Milly got in Lilly's face, the two of them glaring eachother down.

Jill took a swig of the bottle she'd confiscated, and in the time it took her to take a drink, Milly had put her sister in a headlock.

"ADMIT THE DUB WAS SHIT. FUCKING ADMIT IT!"

Lilly gasped for air, managing to croak out a quiet "Fuck you"

Somehow, Jill managed to pry the taller woman off her sister, Lilly sitting on the edge of the bed as far away from Milly as she could. "How about we play some games, huh?" She smiled awkwardly and looked between the two still very bitter women. "I got Wimple 2."

"....I've never played it" Milly said quietly, still obviously somewhat upset.

"It's pretty good." Lilly piped up. "The graphics are pretty stylized so they aged alright"

Jill sighed with relief as she got the game booted up, Jill sitting in the middle as Milly and Lilly threw in their two cents on what she should do and occasionally do silly character voices, cracking eachother up with shitty jokes and made-up dialoge.

It was around one in the morning, Lilly had long since fallen asleep cuddling the empty wine bottle. Milly was barely hanging on, propped up on her elbows as she watched Jill find a save point. Jill turned the game off and set the controller on the floor, looking over at her sleeping sister n chuckling.

"Stupid nerd," She said, grabbing a throw blanket off the ground and tossing it on her sister. She looked over at Milly, seeing her eyes closed as her head was starting to droop. Jill carefully got up, trying not to disturb either girl. She grabbed another blanket and Milly's pillow, managing to ever so stealthily slip the pillow under milly's head before it fell out of her hands, and throwing the blanket over all three of them.

Jill rolled over onto her side and got comfortable, mumbling her goodnights to her two bedmates.

Jill woke up in the early hours of the morning, light coming in through the curtains nearby and lighting up the room somewhat. Jill, her sister, and Milly, had managed to get all tangled up together in the night, Lilly cuddling Jill and Milly having all her limbs awkwardly wrapped around the two of them.

"Hey...you awake...?" Milly groggily mumbled into Jill's back, lifting her head abit and retracting her limbs awkwardly. Jill remained still and silent, mostly out of fear. "hm..guess not..." She sat up, ruffling her hair and grumbling about being stiff and still tired.

Jill pretended to just then wake up, yawning theatrically and stretching. Lilly ended up woken up in the process. "Oh, mornin' sis."

"Bout time, dickheads," Milly hissed. "I'm hungry as shit. What's for breakfast?"

"Fuck if I know," Lilly grumbled. "Usually we don't get up til like...noon..." She squinted through the sunlight. "what time is it?"

"like...nine I think?" Jill looked at the alarm clock on the side table. about 8:42. close enough.

"So, you're just gonna let me fuckin' starve? is that it?"

"Jeez, fine boss." Lilly rolled her eyes, getting up off the bed and going to her pile of undone laundry, grabbing some clothes off the top. "We'll go get doughnuts or somethin'. Our treat." 

"It better be. No way in hell I'm gonna pay when I'm the damn guest." She frowned, going to go get dressed.

Soon enough they'd gotten dressed and went to go hold up the nearest seller of doughnuts, Milly threatening the store owner who was woefully used to how things worked in the garden.

After breakfast and shooting the shit talking about last night, they ended up heading their separate ways again. Milly was off to set up a trap for her least favorite degenerate, and the twins were off to cause some mischief in Roke.

Milly ended up making it a habit of showing up at their place late at night to stay over, even if they hadn't agreed.

They had games she liked and anime she wanted to watch, so of course she's gonna take advantage of that.

She totally wasn't going back and hanging out with them because she LIKED them.

absolutely proposterous.

#becca babbles #fic

[rum-and-shattered-dreams]

Personal ramblings and continuing frustration with art block...

Some days I can’t ignore the actual very terrifying underlying reason for being depressed and having anxiety.  I have tried so many times to prove people wrong when they said I’d never be able to make it on my own.  Doctors said I’d never be able to work full time or go back to college because of my chronic illness in 2001.  They said I’d probably be dead by 30 but I’m still here.  I found my own ways, outside of their prescriptions (which gave me brain damage and didn’t actually help anything.) to manage things and survive but I believe the root cause of everything was never touched upon.  I believe the stress from trying to conform while having no idea that I’m on the Autistic spectrum caused my illness to flare up.  Maybe if I’d known earlier, a lot of my life would have been different.  (But I’m not even going to go there because I didn’t, it wasn’t, it’s over now, and there’s nothing I can do to change that past.  I just want kids now and future kids to have a better experience with a more knowledgeable society.) And now it’s becoming more and more apparent to me that I can’t prove the friends who said things like “I can’t imagine you living on your own” and “what are you going to do when you’re 30 and still living with your parents?  You don’t want to be that pathetic person, do you?” wrong.   I had to quit community college once because I couldn’t keep food inside me for nine weeks and nearly died.  I did make it through an eight month technical school and managed to get a job in my field for a while but the company went out of business right around the time I figured out that every day was leaving me a little more drained than the last.  I probably would have had health issues again if they hadn’t gone out of business.  Other than that, I’ve worked retail and had to take breaks from full time hours when my health took a downward spiral again until I finally had to quit that too. Anyway, what it all boils down to is that I’m trying to come to terms with not having the mental/physical capabilities of functioning in a full time job which also means constantly not having enough money to afford living on my own.  I’m pretty good with household things like cooking and cleaning but if there’s more than basic bills to pay I start to get overwhelmed with that too. And of course there’s the inevitability that my parents won’t be here anymore someday.  I don’t have any siblings and to be honest, I haven’t seen any other family members in so long that if I met them at random, I’d have no idea who they were.  Not that that would happen since they all live in another country.  So quite honestly, I don’t know what I’m going to do.  I don’t make friends easily (but I love the few I have) and probably will never have a significant other because apparently there’s something inherently off-putting about me even if I try to look nice.  And being a sex-repulsed asexual doesn’t help (but it really sucks when you do crave romantic physical and emotional experiences.  Ha ha ha what does it feel like to cuddle?  IDFK...) I simply don’t know how to interact properly and the lag in my comprehension of things (especially spoken words and physical signals) means I’m always slow to pick up on what’s going on and even slower to react and my reaction will most likely be inappropriate in some way.  All of that means that it takes more energy to interact with people and makes interacting with groups nearly impossible.   As an example - I love the idea of D&D style tabletop games and I love listening to people play but if I try to play, my comprehension lags and I end up a nervous wreck who can’t even figure out which side of the D20 is actually facing up.  Someone else would have to help me add things if there’s multiple rolls involved.  So, while half of me wishes I could find a group and join a campaign, the other half just stays home because I don’t want to drag them down and make them have to pause every time it’s my turn to do something.  And then probably pick something dumb as an action and be completely boring because I can’t think fast enough to be funny and am overwhelmed by everything.  So basically, I’ve always known I’m not invited.  And I get why.  And I don’t blame anyone for it and I try to make it easier for them to feel like there’s no obligation because why should they have to make special accommodations for me?  It’s not fair for me to make an entire group have to change the way they do things.   So I just try to stay out of the way because I’d feel uncomfortable with people having to sacrifice anything to include me  (which is a much deeper feeling than it appears on the surface.  I want to be able to keep up.  I want to be able to do what they do and when I can’t and others have to treat me differently, I feel like a humiliated child so, believe me, I know it’s not other people who are a problem and I don’t want anyone to feel guilty or anything.  I know other people try the best they can.  But, there’s probably nothing anyone else can do.  I know it’s my problems and I’m the only one who can do anything about how I feel.)  And that’s where the suicidal ideation cuts in and I have to fight against my own brain. At the moment I’m at least useful for helping my parents with things around the house.  But when things inevitably change, I don’t know if I’ll be strong enough to fight my own brain anymore.  I know what my options are for things I can do when the time comes as far as continuing to survive (sell things, move into a smaller place, try to find a job that doesn’t kill me, probably move out of the US since I’m not a citizen here for the reason that I’ll probably move away at this point because there will be no reason to stay.) but I don’t know if I’ll be strong enough to actually do them and to do it alone. And this is probably causing a lot of my recent art block.  I’ve been trying to get better at it but suddenly I don’t know why.  I probably won’t be healthy enough to find a job or go back to school.  And I’ve hit this point where there’s something about all of my drawings, something about the curves and angles of my lines or the overall feel of it that I really hate and I don’t know how to fix it.  I know it’s not good enough.  I know I’m not there yet.  And I feel like I’m still stuck back in art class when my work was never good enough to be accepted to the gallery shows and the only time it was ever displayed was when we were required to have a piece displayed.  Somehow I always miss when there’s a zine looking for works and whenever I do happen to catch one, I’m not accepted so clearly I still have a lot of practicing to do.  I’m not willing to open commissions yet because people don’t even want to request things from me most of the time (Super thanks to the people who do!  I appreciate it so much.  I really do want to get better and you’re helping me practice.) and I know part of that is that I don’t send requests to others because I never have any good ideas (hence why I need requests).   TBH when there was a call for Gravity Falls fan artists on twitter, part of me kinda wished someone might suggest me but part of me is glad no one did because if I’m not good enough for someone to have done that, then I’m not good enough to do whatever it was they needed an artist to do.  And I’m just at that point of frustration where I don’t know what to do next in order to move forward and get better or if there’s even a point to it. It’s getting harder every day to make myself sit down and do daily drawing or look for tutorials and classes to try to make some sort of headway but I don’t want to stop because then I’ll never get anywhere.  I’m trying to fight and stay as positive as I can but sometimes I just get tired and start to wonder why I’m even bothering to try because it stops being fun when the frustration kicks in.  I need it to be fun again, I guess.  Maybe I’ll get there again.

#whining #art block #personal ramblings #depressing things #Eeeeehhh sorry I usually don't do this because I don't want to bring people down #so please don't feel like you have to read or reply or anything this is just like... for the sake of putting how I feel out there #For the sake of honest communication I guess. #And because sometimes I can't fight being terrified #by covering it over with cartoons and fics and art

[surveystodestressme]

47.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 8

701. What is your favorite mixed drink? i like sex on the beach a lot but i honestly like a lot of mixed drinks 702. When answering these questions are you often pulled in different directions, as if committing to one answer eliminates the possibility for all others? nahh, i try not to put too much thought into my decisions lol 703. Chicken Mesala, Pasta Primavera, Veal Cutlet Parmesan or Linguini with Clam Sauce? i don’t know what any of these are.  i guess pasta primavetra 704. If you were alone in your friend’s house/room/apartment would you look in their drawers and notebooks? i’d probably just watch tv

705. What would you really like to do but you don’t because you are afraid of getting caught? gamble??? lol idk

706. Of the following, which word best describes you: responsible: this one i guess spontaneous: tactful: uninhbited: 707. Which band would you most likely check out? The Smiths (indi-pop 80’s-90’s) probably this one The Lords of Acid (acid/house/dance 90’s) Front 242 (80’s-90’s industrial/dance) 708. How can one put an end to procrastination, as a bad habit? commit to everything that you ever need to get done 709. What feature would you want on your car that is not currently offered? well, i don’t have a car but if i did i would want bluetooth so i can always listen to my own music 710. What kind of poetry speaks to you? i don’t like poetry 711. What is your favorite store that is open 24 hours? uh... walmart? i guess 712. Do you find that sleep is just so much sleepier when you are supposed to be doing something else? absolutely 713. Do you also find that the books you chose are so much more luscious when you have a stack of actual assignments that you Should be reading? lol i mean kind of? 714. If you have had the chance to compare the original 5000 Question Survey to this edited version, what is your opinion? i haven’t done the originial so i have no idea honestly 715. What’s the most creative answer you can think of for ‘what is black and white and red all over’? a sunburnt penguin 716. Why do people slow down on the highway when they pass a cop car pulling someone else over? just to be cautious, i guess 717. Are they afraid that the cop will STOP pulling over whoever he is pulling over and pull them over instead? possible, i guess 718. It’s daddy’s birthday. What do you get him? something sports related 719. What’s your 5,000 question survey nickname? Look at the word next to the 2nd letter of your first name A anything but B bubalicious C captivating D deadly E erotic F funky G greasy H heaps of I indie J jelly K kinetic L lasher M Mr. (or Mrs.) N neglected O ogre-like P parading Q quacking R Rico S stinky T the one and only U uber V Velcro W wishing for X x-tra Y yearning for Z zoobalee Now take the first letter of your last name. A aardvarks B baboo C creme pie D drag queen E eggbert F flex G god H hell I Isabelle J juice K kisses L lightning M mannish boys N nice O octopi P porcupines Q q-bert R rainbows S suave T tushy U underwear V valor W weenie X xtc Y yohimbe Z zipper Put the two words together for your nickname. indie creme pie 720. You know that shaky feeling that you get when it’s all coming to a climax, and everyone involved is breaking into the good kind of cold sweat, working as individuals and at the same time as a single force of energy, and it all meshes together, and for a brief moment, you’re holding your breath and tingling all over, and after it’s done you’re on an explosive and dizzying high for the rest of the night? What does that feeling come from? drugs prolly 721. How many of your teachers can you imagine drinking or doing drugs on the weekends? definitely some of my high school teachers 722. Do you like Alice in Wonderland or Through the Looking Glass? i like alice in wonderland 723. Write a question and answer it here. what do you want to be doing right now? eating 724. Who is your favorite playwright? i don’t have one 725. What movie has come out recently that you couldn’t have less interest in? there are so many lol 726. What would the worst movie ever be about? poop 727. Do you like truffles? Do you like Turkish delight? not a huge chocolate person 728. Can you tell the difference between a transvestite and a real woman? it doesn’t really matter if i can or not 729. What’s funnier, plants or fire extinguishers? lol neither? 730. For question 720 did you write down sex? You pervert, I was thinking of musical theater. i didn’t actually 731. Which is better, leopard print or plaid? plaid for sure 732. What would you consider ordinary? blondes 733. What is out of the ordinary? dogs with sweaters 734. Do you ever watch COPS? I FUCKING LOVE COPS 735. Is there always room for j - e - l - l - o? i hate jello 736. If you had your own TV show, what kind of show would you make it? a horror drama 737. Do you know how heavy things like airplanes stay in the air? buoyancy??? idk if that even makes sense 738. When do you act the most dramatic? every single day of my entire life 739. Are you one of those people who have, “see photo id,” written on the back of their credit cards? i don’t think so 740. It’s mom’s birthday. What do you get her? she’s hard to shop for so idk, i’d probably ask 741. What celebrity has pretty much disappeared leaving you wondering 'where are they now’? amanda bynes 742. Would you get angry if you and your girl/boyfriend saw the preview for a movie and talked about seeing it together and then they saw it with one of their friends while you were busy? jack has done that before lol.  except with his mother and i was a lil mad because we talked about seeing it and he went without me but it ended up being a good movie and he took me later that week or something 743. How many people do you think will finish this whooooooole survey? not many, i’d say 744. Have you ever written a message, sealed it in a bottle and thrown it into a river/lake ocean? nah. 745. If you haven’t would you want to? sure 746. If you ever did what would you write? something significant 747. What do you wish you could always be protected from? death 748. What small thing annoys you so much it should be a crime? when people chew with their mouth open 749. Would you rather watch a video of fish in a tank, or the Yule log on TV? fish in a tank 750. Is it better to be loved or feared? loved 100% 751. What causes you to panic? lots of things man 752. Do you believe that you have a strong personality? i think so? unless that’s a bad thing lol 753. When Jesus saves souls…does he trade them in for valuable prizes? idfk man, do i look like jesus? 754. What resolutions would you make if it were new years? lose weight or at least get in better shape 755. Why wait? bc i’m lazy 756. Do you feel like time is on your side or working against you? working against me most of the time 757. What do you do for yourself when you are down to put a little joy back into your life? watch something or read something 758. How much Tolkien have you read? i don’t even know what that is 759. These are the songs on the radio. Which are you most likely to listen to: Time Bomb by Rancid Dead Man’s party by Oingo Boingo The Sun Always Shines on TV by A-ha this one 50 Ways to leave Your Lover by Paul Simon Run by collective Soul 760. Do you believe that Jesus existed as a real person? no 761. Do you believe he was the son of god? idfk dude 762. How do you feel about organized religion? i don’t care 763. What sentence have you heard lately, that would sound pretty odd out of context? idk 763. If you had to choose one image to be a symbol of our times, what would you pick? a cat 764. Name a group of people: crowd 765. How many of them does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hopefully 766. Do you like the movie The Labyrinth with David Bowie and some muppets? never seen it 767. Do you like the movie The Dark Crystal? never seen it. 768. Metallica or Guns N’ Roses? metallica 769. Do you follow the Chinese zodiac? i used to 770. Do you like reggae music? not really. 771. What makes your life worth it every day? getting to see the ones i love 772. Do you seize each day and sink your teeth into it? sure 773. I’ve heard people say that Jim Morrison never yawned because he was just so full of life. How often do you yawn? every single day 774. Who decides what behavior is 'crazy’ or 'sane’? anyone who wants to i suppose 775. Who are the most inspiring artists, musicians, poets, and writers? oh there’s tons.  robin williams was always an inspiration to me and so was van gogh. 776. Did anything historically significant happen in the year you were born? not that i know of 777. Besides blowing out birthday candles when do you make wishes? on shooting stars whenever i see them 778. Are you self-sufficient? i try to be 779. Is it better to be wanted or needed? wanted 780. What do you feel is an appropriate age to lose one’s virginity at? whenever they are ready 781. Do you feel that the appropriate age for girls and for boys is different? no 782. Are you a hard person to get to know? i don’t think so.  i’m an open book 783. What is the craziest thing you have ever done out of anger? hurt myself 784. What’s the MOST annoying sound you can think of? nails on a chalkboard 785. What’s the silliest vegetable you can think of? idk 786. Do you believe in love at first sight? not really 787. Name one thing you have referred to in the past as “better than sex”: food lol 788. What do you see when you turn out the light? it’s dark so probably not a lot 789. Do you like jazz, blues and/or swing music? nope 790. Do you prefer gold or silver jewelry? silver 791. In what ways do you want your children to be like you? i don’t want children 792. In what ways would you want your children to be different from you? ^ 793. What was the scariest movie you’ve ever seen? back when i was little freddy kreuger scared the actual shit out of me 794. What was the funniest movie you’ve ever seen? grown ups or horrible bosses 795. What was the worst movie you’ve ever seen? the haunting of molly hartley 796. Are you a good massage-giver? i think so. 797. What is one question that no one can ever truthfully answer 'yes’ to? if they know everything 798. Is there more to this world than human beings can perceive? of course there is 799. If matter is neither created nor destroyed then is it possible that you are made up of molecules that once made up Ghandi or Jesus or Einstein? sure why not? 800. Are you often sarcastic? pretty often.

#bored #quiz #questions #survey

[survivor-hosts]

Ep. #5: “TRICK ASS RAISIN” - Andrew

For this round, the game was One World and the players will allowed to talk to the members of the other tribe. The tribes competed in Crack the Code with the tribe with the lowest combined amount of guesses winning Immunity. Naicha lost for the second time in a row.  There was a lot of confusion throughout the day about who had what advantage with the members of Jinsei trying to influence the vote as well.  Matt decided to use his vote reveal on Drew seeing that Drew cast his vote against Matt instead of Allision like he said he would.  Matt went to Sam asking her to use the Haumaru idol for him stating that the votes were coming his way.  In a deal to still play the Haumaru on herself, Sam gave Matt the Sapphire Idol to use.  Sam and Matt tied the vote by voting for Allison and Josh to cancel out all 6 votes cast at tribal.  Only Drew and Connor were now eligible to be voted for and Drew was sent home in a 3-1 vote.

All I wanna say is fuck matt summers for inventing the jeopardy swap.... Luckily we won, but Sam is a big meat shield and it would be nice to have her around that way I'm not seen as a threat and the target is all on her. Thats why I'm contemplating abducting her which is a big move, but risky cause then i have to explain why I did it and how i found the amulet and i dont have the answers to that. I guess I'll see how this tribal goes. I'm really happy to reconnect with Jessy cause I think the two of us could do some mad damage in this game. I'm trying to get info now so hopefully that works. As for MJ, hes cool but I dont think he really tries if that makes any sense. Oh well, hopefully I can last longer since I'm right back to having no alliances again

*Playstation Trophy Sound* Got Past 13th Place

Can't wait to be fifth boot

i see you palawan twist i see you

miss sam getting the haumaru idol makes things complicated because i want to flip next tribal to work with mj but in order to do that i need lydia to come along. in the event we end up losing sam's gonna be asking what's happening because she needs to know how to use the idol. i'm no dummy and knows that she would want mj to go before anyone on this tribe so i can't tell her that we're voting scott/andrew out because i know she's close to scott, and if i tell her we're voting mj/jessy then flip to work with them, i've lied to sam and she won't trust me. god this idol really just came at the worst time possible. the best case scenario would be to win this round because i really can't deal with this idol getting played against me

So fuck all of this? Honestly the Solomon one world twist giving me all this tea is life but the tea burnt my tongue and I'm pissed the fuck off. Because I'm literally gonna be advantaged out again! So let's just run through all these supposed advantages: Sam - Sapphire Idol but like could be a Phoenix Idol? Idk Sam's a shady fuck and threw me under the bus to Scott to make him not trust me. "Just know they have a chat without you" IT WAS 9 MINUTES YOU TRICK ASS RAISIN (also has a regal idol? idfk but girl can go) Matt - Regular idol? Idk? Idk how him and Sam would both have a regular idol. Also a vote negator I guess. Wtf? Scott - Amulet Of Abduction that he didn't tell me about. Which ngl? Hurt? Like I thought he was my number 1 and yeah I was skeptical I was his ACTUAL number 1 but. He knew about the map since day 3. And now almost every space is gone and I just hate myself so thank you Scott! Like love him but highkey pissed at him rn because all of these people having the map for so long and everyone having all of these advantages has psyched me out :') Jessy - Obsidian Idol which is the only thing I'm not fully mad about. Except I guess everyone knows about it. But this could be good if we need to break a tie. But could also not work because we're in One World and people could transfer idols and shit to MJ/Lydia/Connah. So now I'm in this fun f3 with Scott and Jessy. Love Jessy. Am now skeptical of Scott. They both know Allison and I are hosting Hoenn on the side but like, I changed my name to Kyoto host hehe. Except everyone has probs noticed oops idc. All I know is that MJ, Lydia, Connah, and Sam are probs together. And I'm really pissed at Sam like? She had no reason to not wanna be with us. I just thought that the older players would be mature enough to not rely on past relationships but instead they're all Obligation Flocking™ and I'm like okay whatever that's fun. Can't blame them for taking the easy way out when at the beginning of this game I was so ready to unapologetically vote out Allison or Drew - 2 very close friends of mine. But hey maybe I'll give them some benefit of the doubt and they'll start backstabbing one another. If they do, I wanna be here for it.

Okay so, a lot of shit went down so I need to dive right into it. Not gonna lie I was really happy to see Sam make it out of there alive and that they voted out David, cause I was scared as to what would happen. And I was surprised to see David come for Sams life at the end of that. Her target is growing bigger and bigger with each passing moment, which is a huge concern to me. Now in the moment I thought I did the right thing by doing this, but I revealed to Sam that I have the Amulet of Abduction and told her I would use it on her if she was ever in danger. We decided not to use it this round, but to wait until the next cause she found the Harimau Idol, so she has to automatically play that this round. Jessy also approached me and revealed the map to me. I wasn't surprised she did this, but I was surprised that she wants to lead an army against Sam and her other allies. Which I'm happy I'm not the only one that realizes her threat status, however I don't think I'm in a position to really go after her. Like I feel like I could be like how Matt Summers was in Adversaries if I flip. Cause they have all of these advantages, and I don't want any of them to screw me over. Most importantly, I dont want to be the first person to be Sapphire Idoled out twice so I need to do my best to maneuver around all these advantages. So Jessy and I made an alliance with Andrew to potentially lead the resistance against these big threats and we agreed that one of them needs to go during premerge. I think I'm in a good position because I don't have like a big duo. In Maluku, my duos were Mattica and Maria and they made flipping to the favorites 10x easier. This time around I don't really have any strong significant allies, but I would rather be at the end with people like Jessy and Andrew over people like Sam and Lydia. I kinda just feel like I'm Sam and Lydia's secret lapdog just because they include me in somethings, but not everything. Like I don't appreciate how close they are with Connah/MJ/Matt Summers when all three of them don't ever converse with me unless I go an initiate the conversation. And if I'm going to align with people, I need to know that I can trust them. For now I'm gonna act like I'm with Sam/Lydia, but I dont see it lasting too long. If we lose they'll want to vote out either Jessy or Andrew and I don't want to see them go.

[18/06/2017, 11:12:22 AM] Josh: should i start calling you wonnor [18/06/2017, 11:12:26 AM] connor: no. [18/06/2017, 11:12:30 AM] Josh: just a 1 letter difference to winner tho :~) [18/06/2017, 11:12:43 AM] connor: uh [18/06/2017, 11:12:44 AM] connor: no [18/06/2017, 11:12:46 AM] connor: its two

For the past 7 days or so this game has been making me anxious and i'm not sure why! i dont like checking chats or even Skype. Yesterday I took a nap, woke up and saw a PM from Lydia and I'm like "HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH right im playing TS". I dont know why i feel like this!!!!! This dosent happen at all. I've played too many games to know that. I suspect it's the one year gap between Gens and this one. The stress is 3 much 5 me. Anyways I needed to rant but here's game stuff now lol. Idk what to expect this coming round. I dont feel comfortable on Naicha. I have Connor, I know but I have a feeling is hiding something. I want to work with Sam because in the long term I want to work with Lydia and slide under the radar. I HOPE it's the Sri Lanka twist so everyone gets a fresh start but I might be taking for granted the position I have in Naicha. I do not like having control and not being in the loop. If we factor in everyone. It's an Old School feel on a New School game and I can't keep up with modern Tumblr Survivor. I'm gonna get eaten alive in this game. Wont be surprise if i go out premerge again lol

I love suffering

Honestly I'm just so happy we won because.... I can still hide in the background for a bit. I know if my tribe were to go to tribal, I would have to pick a side to work with. Do I go with Jessy/Andrew, or do I go with Lydia/Connah/MJ. And honestly if we lost I probably would have stuck with Jessy/Andrew because I really don't... trust MJ. Like he makes no effort to like talk to me, which I could reach out to him but idk its kinda awkward so I might do that tomorrow. But like I don't see why people expect me to work with people who I have no relationship with. As for Connah, I actually am starting to like him. He's been approaching me for once and we actually hold decent conversations which really caught me by surprise. Like I thought he was faking everything but turns out he's being legit. Which is good for the Sam/Lydia side of things, but I'm also starting to get the feeling that they are wary of me. I don't blame them because if they are suspicious they have every right to be. If it wasn't for Jessy dropping the T about them I probably would have been their goat. I'm thankful Jessy clued me in on what's really been going on just because now I have the chance to really impact this game. I just hope all of these advantages don't become the death of me. At least the Haumaru idol gets played this tribal so thank god.

i'm playing with a bunch of dummies

The plan right now is to have a 3-2-1 vote. 3 votes on Matt, 2 votes on whoever Sam and Matt vote, 1 vote Sam. This is to be safe in case Sam plays a Sapphire Idol, or Sam plays an idol on herself. People are concerned about Sam having a regular idol/haumaru idol so it's just a safety net in case those happen. I am not confident going into this tribal council at all. This is an important one and this sets the tone for merge. I'm prepared to get voted out as well.

This has been crazy, and i'm barely getting this in before tribal, so here's a summary: So Sam tells me her advtandage is a ruby idol but tells others that it is a saphire idol. The challenge was indiviudal so people thought it was the Palawan joint double tribal of doom twist. Josh, myself, Connor, and MJ made and alliance since we are starting to be seen as duos (Me/Josh and MJ/Connor). We lose the challenge and its a regular tribal. I called with Josh to figure out our approach to tribal, with three of us (ending up being myself, Drew, and Allison) voting Sam, Sam and Matt voting another (for Allison), and Josh voting alone for Matt. TBH it's scary but im glad its not my name being the second name, because there is more than likely a buy-back so even if an ally gets voted out, theres a high change they can and will come back. 3-2-1 ensures that if a saphire idol is played, which is probably what Sam has and lied to me about having a ruby idol, Matt goes home. If no idol gets played, Sam goes home. If a regular idol gets played on Matt and Sam plays the saphire idol, we revote. The only way shit hits the fan and allison goes home is Sam or Matt play an idol on Sam. To make sure the plan works tho, I had to take a page from Nick Wentworth and record some calls. I went on 8 calls today alone, and I recorded all of them. Will they be useful? We'll see. To make sure the 3-2-1 works, we had to make sure Sam and Matt vote one way. To do that, I worked a conversation on iMessage with Matt so that he thinks he came up with the idea of voting out Allison (or any one). I let him lead the conversation, saying that I was "ready to make a move" (true) and i was "over naicha" (no?) so that an alliance was made of me, Sam, Matt, and Drew as safety. I made fake receipts with Drew so they think the alliance is legit. So, in summary: I am literally in an alliance with everyone on this tribe.

When Sam tells u on call she wants to use the Sapphire Idol to save Matt Summers.... tbh I don't see that being a good move moving forward cause there's so many people she has to explain her reasoning's behind that too. I'm actually kinda hoping Matt  goes cause then it breaks up the big Sam/Lydia/Matt/MJ/Connah alliance that everyone is so worried about and it can ease me in this game knowing that I'm not too much on the bottom. Honestly Sam should just worry about saving herself and whatever happens to Matt happens to him. He got himself in that mess and it isn't Sam's responsibility to save him. Moving forward, I'm starting to think it's best that I just stick with Jinsei. While my tribe is filled with threatening people, Niacha seems to be pretty strong moving forward and with Jessy already on the outs I don't see how flipping to them would benefit me long term. But I do need to figure out how to work the A Dora Bowls (Me/Jessy/Andrew) in this game because honestly they're people I want to go to the end with.

mj and i this entire round

allison is so funny KLSJSLKSJKL me: MJ king of thinking this is a monarchy allison in my pms: Omg u dislike him too? BKLMSDFMKLSKLMSD i told her ass the Tea. We WORKING TOGETHER to get out these Jinsei hoes + Matt/MJ. jinsei minus a dora bowls at least People who won't vote me out: - MJ (possibly) - Andrew - Allison - Scott (possibly) - Josh - Connor - Drew (possibly) People who will vote me out: - Connah - Sam - Lydia - Matt (possibly)

#torchsnuffers