#but I wanna make good food

[cocoreallylovesraiden]

lin-kuei trio x chef! reader

pre-events of the mk1 cinematic; mostly with tomas that can be seen as platonic or romantic

ooc-ish? this is just my interpretation on how it would’ve been like before things got bad for the lin kuei

1.5k

You slide the plate of food onto the wooden lazy susan, quickly warning your guests not to touch the plate. Almost immediately, Kuai Liang decides to place his fingers on the plate’s underside.

You step back, unimpressed.

“With all due respect, Kuai Liang. Seriously?”

“You call this hot?”

Kuai Liang’s good-natured smile is useless against you, because yes, you call this hot; you had to carry it the entire way from the kitchen yourself because the Lin Kuei eat with in absolute privacy, and you also did not have FIRE POWERS. So yes, it was hot. You pointedly place one of two bowls of rice you brought before Tomas, who gleefully rubs his chopsticks together.

“Cease your antics, brother.” Kuai Liang chuckles at Bi Han’s almost embarrassed seething.

“Thank you, Bi Han. You get rice.”

The second bowl is (gingerly) placed before him. You would slam it down too for effect, but you would rather not be frozen alive for having bad manners with the new Grandmaster Of The Lin Kuei.

You internally roll your eyes at the title. Whatever, Bi Han was Bi Han at the end of the day. The brothers had come to the teahouse enough times for you to know that if you gave him food, he would be grateful and shut up to eat it- unless he was on another-

Bi Han pushes the bowl to Kuai Liang with a small motion before picking up his chopsticks.

“You’re on another diet.” You exclaim.

Kuai Liang accepts the bowl with a sigh, likely sharing the same sentiment. Tomas takes a morsel of the stir fry and hurriedly shoves it in his mouth to share his piece, but the food is too hot, and he makes a show of cooling his mouth. Bi Han’ sigh mirrors Kuai Liang’s prior one.

These brothers. It was like a chain reaction, where each one of them were disappointed in each other’s behaviour.

“The Grandmaster needs to be in tip-top shape to fit his grandmaster uniform.” Tomas chides. “So that his arms look good in- ACK!”

His statement is cut off by a small mound of rice being shoved into his mouth, courtesy of Kuai Liang. Whatever he meant to say was replaced by yelps of “Hot!” and whining. He eventually turns to you with an expectant look, like he was hoping you would come to his defence.

You shrug. What were you supposed to do? Scold a ninja-extraordinaire for lovingly feeding his brother? No, seriously. Your relationship with these people was extremely conditional, and there was no doubt they would put you in your place if you ever tried to boss them around.

Except Tomas. There was some leeway bossing Tomas around.

“Is there anything you want to eat today- not you Tomas.” You physically push away the cheeky man’s face to maintain your eye contact with Bi Han. “Since you three cleared out the place, my treat.”

Bi Han looked at his empty plate for a moment, as if he suddenly had forgotten every meal he’s ever enjoyed. You kissed your teeth, immediately understanding. You yourself were the oldest child, so you knew how it felt to suddenly be asked what you specifically wanted. Either that, or if he was considering cheating on his diet just to eat your fried pork.

“The sweet pork. That you made last time.”

Yeah, okay. It just was never as emotionally complicated as you expected it to be with him. Well, it was terribly flattering that he’d take up the precious calories to eat what you cooked- though it did make you question Bi Han’s resolve; you had never seen him in battle, so you couldn’t gauge his self-control other than him crumbling at the promise of your cooking.

Either way, you gave him a thumbs up and an appreciative grimace.

“Right away, boss.”

You scuttle back into the teahouse kitchen, where you thankfully had all the ingredients available. Thank God, there was no emergency calling Kung Lao for the delivery of flour or vinegar. What would that phone call sound like, even?

Hey bestie! Hope you’re not too busy harvesting cabbages because I need you to bring me a cup of sugar to make a meal for the grandmaster of an organised family! Yeah Grandmaster! Yeah, ‘family’! Hope to hear back from you soon!

Just as you’d gotten the oil up and frying, the jammed kitchen door tries to open with a groan. You settle the breaded pork into the ladle, throwing it into the bubbling oil with a satisfying sizzle. The door tries to open again, and it gets a little further before inevitably getting stuck once more.

You roll your eyes. With a single outstretched kick, you manage to send the damp wooden door to swing open like it was brand new, leaving Tomas standing there like a kid caught with his hand in the jam pots.

“Maybe we should recruit you into the Lin Kuei.” The silver-haired man allows himself into your kitchen, carefully side-stepping a hemp sack of flour then once again to avoid a crate of bok choy that toppled earlier in the day.

The kitchen was messy, but when there’s only one person to handle a mountain of orders you learn to improvise. It was a strategic layout that only you needed to understand.

“Nice of you to let yourself into my kitchen.”

“Thought I’d keep you company.” A lie. He just wanted to spend some time away from Kuai Liang and Bi Han, an understandable sentiment. The three of them probably spent too much time together leading the Lin Kuei, and Bi Han was insufferably stuffy to share meals with.

You whisked vinegar and sugar in a bowl, but arms worked in autopilot as you stared at Tomas making himself comfortable on the stool near you cooking station. It was comical, watching the tall man fold himself like origami paper to fit perfectly on such a small surface, tucking his knees to his chest and peering up at you like a child.

This stool wasn’t just any old chair, though. After a couple years, people like Tomas and Kung Lao had turned it into the taste tester’s throne since it was convenient for You to just raise your arm and feed them little bits.

As much as you wanted to be a stronger woman, his grey eyes and boyish smile did make your heart clench. He looked so much like San Bing, the stray dog that you fed in the village- they even begged for scraps the same way.

“You do the same thing as Kung Lao.” Tomas huffed at the comparison, resting his chin on the nearby counter’s greasy surface and blinking with his light glittery eyes.

“But cuter, right?”

You balked, almost letting missing your ladle’s handle and gripping scalding metal in shock. How ridiculous did this man get? At his grown age, acting cute just to gain you favour, all in the name for some bits and pieces? Seriously, if these were the values that the Lin Kuei taught, the world was in grave danger.

A tender piece of pork is pulled out the oil and dipped in the sauce, and then shoved in front of Tomas’ face in the effort to stop him from continuing whatever it was he was doing.

“Do that again, and I will ban you from coming in every again.” You gravely state, and it’s funny how quickly Tomas straightens his posture and nods. “Be careful, it’s hot.”

Tomas is also remarkably like San Bing with how he snatches the food into his mouth, chewing loudly in attempt to cool the food down as he eats it. You continue to fix up the rest of the portion while Tomas watches you, sitting obediently on the stool.

Once it’s on a medium-sized dish, Tomas beats you to picking it up.

“This isn’t just for you, greedy.”

“But the plates are hot, right? I’ll bring it over, don’t worry.”

Tomas smiles, nose wrinkling in a way that makes you want to pinch him. You thank him with a pat on the shoulder and helps him open the kitchen door and watch him walk over to his table. You then pretend not to see him slam the dish onto the table and frantically rub his probably burning fingers on Bi Han’s cold arms.

You bite back the growing grin on your face.

As much as you would’ve liked to hang around the three as they ate their meal, you still had an entire kitchen to clean (to the best of your ability) before the teahouse opened again for the dinner rush. You settle for occasionally peeking at the solely occupied table through the kitchen pick-up area, wholeheartedly laughing when Kuai Liang gives you a thumbs up after taking a bite of the pork. Bi Han gives you a nod, which you assume is as close to kissing him on the mouth as it gets. 

Just as you focus fully on preparing your produce, you miss Tomas waving his chopsticks in the air, but hear him enthusiastically call out your name. This time, you let yourself smile fully as you chop away at some carrots.

#mk1 x reader #mk x reader #tomas vrbada #tomas vrbada x reader #mk1 smoke x reader #bi han x reader #kuai liang x reader #mortal kombat x reader #HEAR ME OUT PLEASE #I DO THINK THAG THERE IS A WORLD WHERE BI HAN WAS A GOOD OLDER BROTHER #I just really love the idea of lin kuei bros and chronically younger brother tomas #let me have this happiness ok #and the idea of a chef reader who’s immune to all the politics bc HUH U WANNA KILL ME? THEN WHOSE GONNA MAKE UR FOOD #ok bye #bi han #mk1 bi han #mk1 scorpion #kuai liang

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Culinary appreciation

[First] Prev <--> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #xiao xingchen #lan jingyi #lan sizhui #jin ling #And the mysterious red and green lads! Gosh I hope nothing bad happens to one of them in 6 days. #ouyang zizhen #nameless red disciple #(Note for latecomers: I did not tag Ouyang Zizhen in any of these comics until I made the red vs green poll. Where only one could live.) #I think a lot about how wwx thought about how he'd want to be friends with xxc #then him 'meeting' xxc and trying to save him. With flamin' hot congee. #It's true that many friendships can be forged via food. I have a hunch this one wont turn out so well #Let's give a good round of applause for xue yang for his outstanding performance. He nailed the role of xxc #specifically the fact that xxc if the kind of guy who gets handed dirt 'milkshakes' and leaf potions that children brew and drinks them #Then says he loves it. #I know we still have a day left on the cooking poll but I wanna just say that I think wwx also cooks like he's making dirt and leaf potions #in the sense he cooks by vibes alone and it does not always turn out well for other people #His little moment of throwing shade at the juniors for not knowing what good food (spice tolerance) lives rent free in my brain #sorry to break your confidence king; the one guys who said he liked it was lying to you because he wants something from you.

[b4kuch1n]

digital ink comm round 1 done! for @cosmic-cd, @chirping-astronaut, Gray D, @helianthyme, @holliehives, and @trucbiduleschouettes. I'll take tomorrow off, and then ink comms will be open again. please keep an eye out for that!

#bakuspecial #commission art #ough I go. take a nap now. theres some food I wanna make. but I have to be awake first #have a good day guys! thank u again for ur support. we're going slow but we're goin steady #tomorrow! the itch store will be updated. please also look forward to that #but meanwhile. sleep well and enjoy slumber

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

oh today was a TREAT! makeship drop + howdy ad, no work tomorrow, got free cake, new 911 season.. Yeehaw...

#I CANT WAIT TO SHEAR OFF THE BACK OF MY FLOOF #now that i wear a hair net... fuck it. BYE #the mullet era was good.... #AND IT WILL RETURN. EVENTUALLY. MARK MY WORDS #BURY IT SHALLOW BECAUSE IT WILL BE BACK! #anyway i cant wait for my makeship stuff to arrive #i was Literally the other day researching how to make enamel pins so that i could make my own barnaby pin #yk with my own art ofc #AND THEN THIS HAPPENS? OH HAWYEE! #barnaby!!! on my Vest!!! holy shit! #i love enamel pins i love them so much #absolutely unprompted #gonna have some cake & gaze at my purchase confirmation email & enjoy this Brief Freedom #pros of working in a kitchen: so much free food #cons: i am actively losing my whimsical will #OHHHH I CANT WAIT TO WATCH THE NEW 911 SEASON THO #THEYRE BACK!!! THEYRE FINALLY BACK! #AND I SENSE THAT ABC HAS LET THE WRITERS/ACTORS OFF THEIR LEASH! #i still wanna finish my rewatch but babey if im good at anything its Bingeing #we are feelin Good tonight... might even have the energy to create something.. #doodles perhaps... there is a certain wiggle i wanna scribble...

[kcrossvine-art]

i have a cute baking date with a cute cute girl wish me luck fellas

#we're making scones im going to feed her scones im so fucking excited #I HOPE THEY TURN OUT WELL I WANNA FEED HER GOOD FOOD

[awakenthebeing]

Hii!! I wanted to say that these two pictures remind me So Much of Totoro and Mei, although the mood is very different,, I'm picturing them in other scenes from the movie now and it's making me giggle /pos

What a Fella, so cool <3

Alsooo seeing the recent fake pep drawings and jusg.. how much love he expresses to those around me is making ME feel full of love, it is so sweet :)

NO BUT THAT IS A HUUUUGE COMFORT MOVIE AND WHEN YOU TOLD ME THIS???? I IMMEDIATELY DREW THESE,,,

They're of course!!!! Super heavily referenced images/screenshots from the movie itself and or arts from it!!!! These were very self indulgent but AUGHGHH that movie is such a Comfort!!!!!

#THANK YOU VERY MUCH for telling me this tbh #im bouta rewatch the movie again i havent watched it in a bit!!!!! #but thank you so much for this message!!! and enjoying the fake pep drawings too!!! #i appreciate your words very dearly... im glad it makes you feel full of love!!!! #make sure to be safe....!!! eat food and rest and drink water!!! sending LOTS of love your way!!!! #💘💓💖💓💖💓💘💓💖💖💘💓💘💖‼️‼️‼️‼️ #these were also a good excuse to make very slice of life feeling things... tho tbf i used the images from the movie as references!!! #i always wanna give credit where its due so i do wanna say that all the arts are referenced to the actual movie scenes and other arts!! #and that these were made for funs.... <:3 #Piepoe arts

[literallyjustanerd]

Okay so we finally know why we've seen so little of Echo this season

He's so fucking competent that with him around, none of the plot would have been able to happen

#finally some good fucking food #im not going to recover #i love him so much did you SEE what he just pulled off #now THATS an arc trooper #making rex proud #ugh i love him so much i wanna throw up #tbb s3 #tbb s3 spoilers #tbb spoilers #arc trooper echo

[notquitehuman-creations]

soup 👍

I think this perfect encapsulates how good it is:

#nqh irl #cooking #home cooking #making soup #soup #chicken noodle soup #food #tw food #wanna know something stupid #i made this bc my usual soup is hella expensive #seriously its 10$ for for cans of store bought #all of the ingredients for 10 cans worth of soup were 7$ #in this economy? #like ffs #anyway #good soup

[bruhstation]

He's such a magnificent bastard I am pushing him down the stairs.

The “L” hand pose good lord. no holding back…. no mercy….. the utter disrespect is insane. so cold. this picture encapsulates the core of Casa Tidmouth spencer

#asks #hkpika07 #for me #casa tidmouth #ttte spencer #up there with the ‘’funeral food so good I be forgetting who tf died’’ #first only coming to the funerals for the food and now capitalizing off the deaths of his cousins #AND HIS EYES MY GOD ITS THE WHITE DEMON!!!!! #AHHHH AHHHHHHHH #gordon’s gonna beat his ass‼️‼️ #scott’s just……. ‘’:(‘’ #I just know lemberg and polly and the others mad as hell rn #Okay but real talk he looks 100x more of an asshole in your art style #like the way you draw him makes me wanna pull his ears even more #I WANNA WIPE THAT SMIRK OFF HIS FACE SO BADLY!!!! GRAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! #THANK YOU FOR DRAWING HIM RED. I HAD A FEELING HES GONNA LOOK EVEN MORE HATER LIKE IN YOUR ART STYLE

[astranauticus]

the rwd season 4 qna inspired me to start thinking about college au headcanons except a lot of these are gonna be really specific to my school and y'all are just gonna have to deal with that <3

Kyana feeds some of the school cats. she would feed all of them if she could

Dani smuggled Plug (the scrawniest black cat you've ever seen) into her dorm room illegally and somehow management hasn't caught her yet (based on a true story) (Kyana visits to see Plug all the time)

Finbar keeps an updated tier list of every canteen in the school with breakdowns of the best stalls/dishes for each

A senior from the school of engineering once said to me 'all the engineering people dress like rats cuz our classrooms don't have aircon' (context: tropics) anyway that's Dani

Kyana would probably be involved in a lot of freshman orientation events from second year onwards. she just likes talking to the new kids and giving them advice like she would be the kind of orientation group leader who'd get messages from her freshies asking about all kinds of random nonsense because she's made sure they know they can always contact her with questions

VR-LA is The Guy you go to for textbook pirating resources

(this is more of a 'wouldn't that be funny' but VR-LA is just Veerle's discord handle)

Docent is the name of VR-LA's old laptop that broke down so he gave it to Cassimere (computer engineering major he met once at a networking event) to fix except Cassimere got everything off the hard drive and then somehow managed to fuck it up Even More so he had to get a new laptop (and named it Emi)

Roy has gotten food poisoning from his dorm meal plan at least once (based on at least one true story)

The heap trio + Mandy would be those friends constantly playing majong in the dorm lounge and if all the majong tables are taken they just play in one of their dorm rooms on a towel to dampen the tile shuffling noises (it was Mandy's idea)

Every morning Dani goes to the drinks stall at her faculty and orders one iced coffee to the point where the stall owner starts preparing an iced coffee whenever they see her approach (based on my true story)

Roy would be one of those people who goes clubbing every other week and every time he tries to drag the rest of the heap trio and Egan almost always goes and Dani would go if she didn't have a good excuse but always begrudgingly. anyway Roy would always be the only one having a good time until Egan gets drunk enough to start having fun

Finbar actually uses the dorm kitchens instead of just buying canteen food and it always makes the hallways smell really good

Vhas also uses the dorm kitchen sometimes but like. one time i walked into the pantry on my floor and someone had left cut sweet potatoes and 2 eggs in an inch of water in a pan on the stove. that's Vhas

Kyana's constantly applying for overseas exchanges and international summer/winter school programmes. the world is large and she wants to see it!

Maxim's the definition of a hall phantom. you know he lives on your dorm floor because you pass him by in the hallways sometimes and literally nowhere else. sometimes you're not convinced that he actually exists

VR-LA and Maxim's friendship stems from them being from wildly different faculties (VR-LA's in STEM, Maxim's doing anthropology so arts/social sciences) but also having lots of weird interests they cant really bug anyone in their home faculties about

Elyse is in student government and every once in a while Finbar receives a series of angry texts about the newest idiocy she's had to put up with

MR-SN and AS-TR start a stargazing club together. other notable members include AS-TR's girlfriend E-DN, MR-SN's friend C-RA (the one who always volunteers to carry the heavy ass telescopes) and MR-SN's friend K-LB who he pestered into coming to fix one of the wonky scopes even though K-LB's actually in electrical engineering but he's the only engineering person MR-SN (an arts student) knows

oh and of course VR-LA joins because he genuinely just likes space (developing a crush on his club chairperson was not on his bingo card)

Kyana and E-DN were MMA sparring buddies at one point which is how she found out about the stargazing and joined immediately

honestly i can probably think of more but this post is fuckin long LMAO

#rolling with difficulty #'do not let the internet turn you into an american' i say as i make posts that can be understood by me and me only #i mean im not sorry about it this is my house #like my experiences are just gonna be extra incomprehensible because my countrys fuckin tiny so the target audience really is me and me onl #too bad! you think its hard to read my posts? i gotta live like this! #if i sound extra confrontational i got 5 hours of sleep for the whole week unfortunately so just know its all /lh more or less #really tempted to make some kind of business major joke for roy even though obviously the heap trio would all be in engineering #bc its just common knowledge in my school that business majors are the ones with the most free time to go clubbing all the damn time #and *also* theyre the faculty that dresses the best which also tracks?? #didnt really nail down specific majors for everyone (besides the obvious ones like food science for finbar and mech eng for dani) #but i kinda like the idea of cs for VR-LA because of that 'programmers are real world wizards' joke and also.. projecting #cs with focus area in AI would even make sense bc of docent and emi. if i want to make the projecting Even Worse! #also if i ever do human designs for the old crew (doubtful cuz i find drawing robots more fun than drawing humans) #look up sally hansen hypnautical nail polish bc i wanna give human AS-TR that as a nod to her original design #didnt really get into the fashion of it all bc again i live in the tropics so nobody really dresses well here #the goal is to dress to not sweat more often than it is dress to look good #hands down my favourite line in the cqna was noir's i thermoregulate through my forearms #so in the middle of summer i still wear all black and just roll up my sleeves #like thats ME. except its summer ALL YEAR ROUND #walao #asto speaks

[arolesbianism]

Some concepts for the siblings

#keese draws #rain world #rain world survivor #rain world monk #just impulsive slug cat practice mostly but I also have been wanting to draw them #I wanna try my hand at making fun designs for some of the others so I needed to get my baseline first #I wanna go for more rodent vibes than cat but not too much so #I also wanna draw some of my other slugcat biology hcs but no promises I’ve been going thru it lately #oh yeah and I do imagine most slugcats as completely hairless so no fluffy arti sorry y’all #she does get the closest to having actual teeth of all of them tho so that’s a win for her #well ok all slugcats kind of have teeth but they’re more like small spines that line the front of their mouths #they don’t chew on food tho the teeth are for tearing bits of food off of things #carnivorous slugcats have bigger spines that more so resemble teeth but only in the sense that they’re much larger and easier to see #they also very much hurt more although usefulness in combat is often limited #as getting a good enough grip on a moving target ain’t easy #in fact these big ol teeth are more meant to be used for trapping prey while they like beat them to death or smth #but with larger prey becoming most carnivorous scugs main food source they don’t get used that way as often anymore #in my minds eye way way back slugcats used to be egg predators but as more and more dangerous predators started being common they adapted #a much more omnivorous diet with most of their protein coming from bugs #and hey now they eat bug eggs full circle Babey

[leggy-martian]

This fool has chewed the beginnings of a hot spot, or something like that, between his toes, so for now he must suffer The Sock (stocking edition for airflow)

#marte #borzoi #russian wolfhound #sighthound #dogblr #snootblr #tortilla blanky #he's doing ok it's healing nicely #I'm lucky he's good about sock time #i think the ppp kibble is making his feet flaky and that's bothering him #gonna change it in a month or 2 probs #wanna give his GI tract more time to get used to grain inclusive kibble first tho #we already changed from his old grain free to ppp beef to ppp turkey in the last 3 months or so #wanna give him a break from food changes for a little bit before we tackle these flaky peets #my poor baby boy

[adxmanial]

Hello everyone I am starting to learn how to cook for myself bc I cannot afford going out even half as much as I used to but I know Nothing about recipes so if anyone has some good recipe drops I’d love to hear them!!

#wanna make good food #have no idea where to start even looking for recipes since I don’t know what exists out there to make

[indigodawns]

.

#been sitting here for 1.5 hours now trying to decide if i should go see my friend as promised #or not. basically i texted earlier like heyy sorry can we do tomorrow im all over the place (mentally extra unstable*) i don't wanna #make you deal with that #but she said she might not be able to do tomorrow and she's told me she hates when ppl cancel bc so many ppl have been #cancelling on her and yk. feels bad. so i really should go but im also just. ??? #idk what it was but today is just so not it ive been crying a bunch and barely working and i v much needed #my noise cancelling headphones on the train and then i just kept them on for 1 #and then i just kept them on when i got home and ive just been on my bed scrolling and trying to decide dhsjsjdjd #yes i was supposed to work 8 hours today 💀💀💀 #so that's the other part like if i go see my friend i know tomorrow will probably be rougher and i also need to work then yk #ugh anyways i should go we can just chill im sure #* headphone context for myself bc im just like 🤨🤨 am i just kinda sad and tired today or do i really need to rest #anyways. Thoughts? dhsjjdjdjd #other context is that my friend rly isn't doing good at all and i haven't seen her in a week and it's been #even longer since we could talk 1 on 1 #like 2 weeks rip #maybe i just need food tbh ive mostly had sugary stuff today rip

[stabbyfoxandrew]

oh... gods i just realized i have ao3 comments that are two months old...

#TWT i didn't mean to not answer them i just... Got depressed as fuck and stopped working on cosmic lost and found and #i was gonna wait till i got the next update ready before i answered them bc i needed motivation and comments are good food :) #however i got Incredibly Stuck on that next chapter even though i THOUGHT i had it done. i was a fool. #well actually the next chapter Was done but then i decided i needed to add aNOTHER chapter and so #i got stuck on THAT ONE and now it's been almost two months since i updated it and i kinda wanna jump off a building #but thankfully i do not live in an area with tall buildings #or cliffs lmao #anyhow if you have commented on any of my fics in the last two months and i haven't answered i'm so sorry i love you i'm kissing your cheek #eventually when i can make myself work on CLAF again... i will answer #but it literally made me Insane(r)... More insane? #you know what no one is reading anymore but yeah sorry for being dumb about commintz #i love them i crave them i just suck at answering sometimes #diaerie

[silenthillbunni]

🤧🐀🌧️🌊

#need to clear my head; #im in such a bad mood. my face is in a perpetual angry state. im just so so bitter nd pessimistic rn #trying not to get stuck in negative chaos thought spirals nd to just take it as it come #nd be patient bc recovery takes time i know. but i havent been able to feel healthy or functional for 7 months nd i am so tired #i cant help but worry abt my health nd what kinda diet i can have nd how to work all of that out. #like the removal of the gallbladder dont ensure a good digestive system. they remove it bc it can irrepairably hurt u #also im so so stressed out abt school nd my courses. i already had to drop one last week. nd it isnt looking like i'll be able to pass my #eng class.. it just isnt looking like it's realistic at all :/ i personally dont mind if i fail. but i can get issues w my wellfare hmm #bc like im still feeling rough nd u only get sick leave for one week after surgery.. so i have to go on thursday nd friday but im gnna #be in pain plus be so hungry nd be unable to concentrate idk #idk idk!! im already willing to take out loans to finish my upper secondary school.. but i have to make it work w timing nd stuff so im not #sitting here unable to pay rent or the bills or food lmao. so idk have to fix it somehow #nd the pressure of this country rapidly declining state is stressing me tf out!! having nazi conservative rightists in the ruling is just #dreadful!!!! for many reasons but atm idek if i can do distance classes like i wanted to :// #i just.. wanna be able to go for my long walks. go to the gym. eat normally. have coffee. study nd finish highschool. #then apply for whatever program i can nd move to another calmer city. prob eventually find a path to move to another country. like norway.. #im thinking too much but my thoughts are spinning nd killing me like i cant stop it im so scared nd anxious lmao 💀 #im also trying to be brave and write to the psych clinic for personality disorders nd be upset nd 'beg' them for help ksksksks. #but like... the thing abt having avpd is that i kinda dont wanna bc im scared of the possibility of them helping me lol #im just in a low place nd bad headspace and it's just getring worse nd im getting more nd more tired #i dont have much more energy to keep it together nd pretend like im ok or like i have hope lmaoooo idk what to do #anyway... idk idk guess i just gotta .. keep crawling forward anyway i can