#but after we thought about it for awhile???

[sunkissed-zegras]

Paige nsfw hcs pls

─ warnings | NSFW under the cut! read at your own discretion!

─ taglist | @xocherishxo @iienstein @yazmunson @euphternal and here's a link to my taglist if anyone would like to join!!

─ ev's notes | the long awaited nsfw headcanons for paigey, i finally got the motivation to write it after i kept reading the INSANE smut yall keep writing (keep it up im lovin it) also this is such a mess, this is just rambling and not organized whatsoever, but wtv i hope yall enjoyed :)

woo, where do i even begin?

let's begin with the obvious, paige is a TOP, i can't stress this enough

i genuinely can't see anyone topping her she's just .... a TOP

but that doesn't mean she won't let you take the reigns every once in awhile, esp after a bad game/tiring practice because everyone once to be taken care of sometimes

i'm def not the first person to say this and certainly will not be the last but STRAP GAME GOES SOOOOO HARD

i feel like at first she's gonna be weirded out cus like... she likes only girls for a reason??? and she has her mouth and fingers??? why would she need a piece of plastic to make her girl feel good???

but the first time y'all try it, she's hooked

she forgets ab her hands after that

jk but like

yeah she's HOOKED

she gets really into it LOL, def can imagine her calling the strap her dick

oh and she fucks HARDDDD like, no room to breathe or anything

like you'll be gasping for air after and she'll be super duper proud

i read this one fic with like the dual ended one (i didn't even know that existed) and then i was like yep, yes this is the oneee

with positions, i can't see her doing anything more than like missionary (cus she loves to see your pretty face) and like from the back

but as soon as she discovers riding, it's OVERRRRR for you

she's making you ride her strap anytime she can, cus she loves it

she has her hands on your hips as she's guiding you and she LOVES IT so fucking much, like the power she has over you makes her go feral

oh and do not get me started on sucking her strap, cus again she loves the power she holds over you

she has your hair in a ponytail and the more you get comfortable with the whole thing, she WILL make you gag

she acts like it's her dick (yeah i know we covered that) but like esp when you're sucking her strap, she will just dirty talk u the entire time

"you like my dick, pretty girl? like gagging on my dick?" cus yeah, u do

oh and yes, she does have breeding kink

it breaks her heart that she can't get you pregnant 😪

but she sure as hell will pretend to!!!!!

will 100% bend you over and just yap about getting you pregnant

also if she's fucking you in missionary, she expects you to look at her the entire time

so if you turn away, she will grab your face and keep you looking straight at her

FUCK IDK WHY THAT'S SO HOT

paige is a D1 yapper i fear, and that would 10000% seep into the bedroom LMAO

mostly praise cus babygirl would feel really bad but when she gets into, she GETS into it

like she will call you her slut as she's about cum

that post-nut clarity goes hard the first time tho cus she's like no way i called my gf a dirty fucking slut 😭😭 she sits with her thoughts for a good 10 minutes trying to recollect herself

she is a munch for sure, like she will eat you out for hours and hours on end (not an exaggeration btw)

but she LOVES when you give back

it makes her go fucking feral when she sees you eating her out, like yessssssssssssss

she has to close her eyes bc if she keeps looking at your face, she WILL cum

she has a bad hair pulling problem, like she will grip your hair so hard your head will hurt after

it's apart of the appeal tho 🎀

her fav spot to get absolutely ate is her gaming chair cus like, she needs you in between her legs giving her support to get that victory royale 💯💯💯

she hates when she gets ass or tits bc she genuinely cannot pick

it depends on the day bc they're both great, she will never pick one

i feel like she's definitely thought ab fucking you in public but she can't risk it

SHES A D1 ATHLETE !!

the only time yall did was in a bathroom at an event and it was SOOO bad afterwards cus everyone could tell

you had to pretend like you didn't get your brains fucked out and paige had to pretend she didn't DO the fucking

but lowkey she enjoyed it a lot, but would she do it again?

maybe, a solid maybe (with the right motivation)

okay but like ....

she def has fingered u while the girls are over cus like, she was in a silly mood?

you just looked too fucking good, she had to

but thank god no one noticed (at least to yalls knowledge...)

she's a horny fuck ARGUE WITH THE WALL

she will get turned on by anything you do, like homegirl is just sooooo down bad for you

you could be applying chapstick and paige will be like "we need to fuck, now."

paige's aftercare is just giving you water and cuddling with you for 10 mis while scrolling on tiktok and then gets up to play fortnite with kk

she literally is the tiktok where it's like "after he rearranges my organs he goes and plays fortnite" i hope yall know what i'm talking about

but you don't mind ofc cus she makes you sit on her lap while playing

but then turns into another round cus shes a horny fuck

paige is all for hickies on YOU but she gets pissed when you give her a hickey cus she's like people are gonna see

like she's the only one who has to deal with the public 🙄🙄🙄

but she loves marking you EVERYWHERE, esp on your collarbone like it's so sexy

oh and god bless you in the summer, the ones on your thighs are getting AIRED OUT bc paige does not care

↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !

↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

#wcbb x reader #wcbb #ncaaw #uconn huskies #ncaa wbb #women's college basketball #paige buckets #paige bueckers x reader #paige bueckers #paige x reader #paige bueckers fanfiction #paige bueckers smut #paige bueckers x oc #paige bueckers headcannons #paige bueckers fic #uconn wbb

[botanicadrabbles]

Hydrangeas'

Lucifer x Reader

Warnings: Hanahaki fic. Established relationship, jealousy, self-doubt, relationship anxiety, blood, vomit.

Part 1

Word count: 1,241

Hell was never some where people actively wanted to end up; Tales of an eternal afterlife of suffering and punishment, when you first arrived in hell that’s what you expected. Opening your eyes to see a… Some what inviting place, was absolutely not what you had expected.

However that was years ago, now you’re helping Charlie with the hotel, no real want to redeem yourself. Charlie always asks you why and you have to just shrug and not really explain, your relationship with her father was a secret and you didn’t know how she would react to him dating someone else other than her mother.

You always heard from Charlie how amazing their love story is and how deeply in love they where, “I mean he still wears her ring” she would say. You always deluded yourself to think the reason he kept it on was because he still was in love with her. That he still solely cared about her, you felt you had no place to tell him he has to take it off, he was grieving the loss of his wife and you have to respect that.

But when with him, and just him. You never felt any pressure to be something different. Dancing around in his flower garden, his arms resting around your waist, yours hanging loosely around his shoulders.

Music was playing softly in the background, post modern jukebox. He always says how he loves more classical and older styled music compared to the new way music was made, but you where born in the early 2000’s and enjoyed the music you grew up with. So you made a deal (though not a magical one) that we only listen to music covered by them so we both get enjoyment out of music while with eachother.

Stopping for a moment you detached from him to look at the garden, that is why you where invited over after all. To see his flower garden, he stays at the hotel but doesn’t trust any of the staff in the palace to actually look after the garden properly so he comes every day to make sure they’re being well looked after.

Lilies…Lilly of the valley… Royal lilly… Spider lilly… His love for Lillith ran deep and you’re no longer sure to yourself if he loves you as much.

“Y/N.. Are you alright? You’ve been looking at the flowers for awhile” He says, his voice is so sweet to you and you’re starting to hate it, you hate how jealous you’re becoming…How possessive. You want people say how in love he seems with you, you want flowers to be planted and taken care of as well as he does as these for you. You want to be more with him.

Ofcourse though, he doesn’t give you much more time to think as he scoops you into his arms, pulling you into a deep hug, lifting you off of the ground. Looking down was a mistake as you realise how quickly and how far you had gone off of the ground now.

Like any sane person you cling onto him worried about falling, souls where a fragil thing, and that’s all you where. A sinner, a lost soul who wasn’t good enough to get into heaven.

You could feel the two of you turning slowly in the air like a ballerina in a music box, scared still you look up at Lucifer and he has the worlds most loving and dotefull eyes. The moment seemed perfect, you hadn’t had a first kiss yet and thought it was now or never you swear you feel him pulling away but then feel the rain coming down, he laughs a bit and despite being confused you laugh along as he carefully but quickly hurries the both of you inside.

You can’t help but smile and laugh more at your circus leader boyfriend’s soaked hair and clothing making him look a bit like a sewer rat. He smiles too and for the first moment since being there today there was no doubt, no anxiety or second thoughts about your relationship with him.

“I’ll go get a towel for you” He says grinning with his sharp teeth you nod in response, “Okay Luce” you say and wonder the foyer into the overtly large dining room, raising your eyebrow at the grand and glaringly expensive dining room.

Lucifer doesn’t take long too come back puting the towel on your damp head for you to dry yourself off with. He takes a seat on the chair in front of you as he grabs your hands..Which forces you to drop the towel and look at him. “You’re so gorgeous Y/N” he’d tell you, you smile. You can’t help it, he has that effect on you. Something about him naturally makes you fall for him, wanting his praise and approval, some type of weird spell was cast on you the day you met him.

You didn’t even realise when you said it, fucking hell you regretted it the moment it came past your lips. You felt his hands retract from his, watched as his face fell and fear take over his previously peaceful and happy expression.

“I love you” is what you said..Regret is what you felt when he reacted that way, hurt is what you felt when he said “I’m sorry?” as if the complete notion of ever being loved by someone was lost on him. He laughed a bit when you didn’t respond, as if your feelings where a joke and what you had said was some type of childish prank.

Your heart ached, it twisted and turned and you where still, frozen in place as your heart begged your brain to start to allow you to move, run away. You can’t deal with him laughing in your face. It hurt. It wasn’t until the vomit crawled up into your throat that you felt your eyes tearing up. The rain didn’t seem to be a concern anymore as your legs moved.

They moved faster than you thought you could ever possibly do. Your own mind washing out the way he called out for you, the concerned voices of the hotel patrons and guests as you ran past and into your room.

You didn’t realise the breath you where holding, the amount of emotions you had until your legs trembled and gave out in your bathroom that was attached to your bedroom. Holding onto the bench you felt the vomit come back up your throat. That horrible feeling of vile burning the back of it until you couldn’t take it anymore and gave in.

As you vomited into the toilet, heaving and gasping for air, feeling as if your lungs where crushing under your ribs. Tears brimming your eyes as you hoped for it to pass.

The metallic taste in your mouth brought you out of the daze, confused you pat your finger tips to the soft skin of your lips.. Blood, there was blood on your lip, looking down at the toilet basin you see some of what you expect, pale vomit.. You didn’t expect to see a mix of blood as well as blue and while hydrangea petals.

You thought to yourself how stupid this was.

This had to be some weird curse, you read about it when you where alive. It was fictional right?

Well…Fiction is always based on some type of truth..

#lucifer hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar #lucifer magne #hazbin lucifer #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #lucifer x reader #lucifer morningstar x reader #x reader

[rayplacement]

Rayman / Fakeman selective rp. est 2024, April 27th.

This blog is a selective literate, semi-literate rp blog of the character Rayman from the Netflix series Captain Laserhawk: A Blood Dragon Remix. I will be leaning on CLH Rayman (real version) for some of my take on Fake’s personality and will also heavily lean on HC based interpretations of my own until we see more of him in a hopeful season 2.

I will be writing literate or semi-literate when interacting, but I prefer literate. You can interact however you like to, but just know I will reply in some length and all I ask is please give me something to work with. (If you do " unserious " roleplays, go for it. I can work with that too.)

Bio, portrayal, connections, etc. under cut.

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐢𝐨

Being let go from his job after an incident, Rayman was left feeling hurt and betrayed. He knew deep down in his own mind that they wouldn't...no, COULDN'T continue the Rayman Show and news without his likeliness. I mean, how could they? He was the host, the face, the main man of the broadcast which was shown throughout all of EDEN. The main show was named after him after all. Unfortunately, upon viewing the channel to see how they could have continued without him; there it was. A fully cloned lookalike of himself was seen talking directly towards the crowd from the screen of his TV.

Rayman, nicknamed Fakeman, Rayplacement, and sometimes FakeRay by the fan base, is Rayman's cloned counterpart who was evidently made to replace the actual Rayman. He is shown to be acting like the former; and shown as happy-go-lucky, sassy, and civic.

𝐇𝐂𝐬 & 𝐇𝐂 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐚𝐝𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐬

Rayman is more snarky, classy, flirtatious, and more dramatic than the previous Rayman.

Despite having a friendly face and friendly demeanor, he is shown to be more short tempered when not being broadcasted live. This Rayman also adores attention and having eyes on him. He practically lives off it.

When talking to someone, he often looks ahead of him and speaks out loud as if he has a crowd cheering him on from being used to the routine.

He tends to bow often and even clap after something good happens or something pleases him.

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

When interacting, feel free to choose a starting connection from below. Keep in mind this is OPTIONAL. It just helps me understand if you want him to act a certain way towards your character first.

𝐅𝐀𝐍𝐒 -

You are a fan of " Rayman." He sees you pop up at times, giving you autographs when asked and gives you one sided yet friendly gestures. He isn't your friend of course, just fulfilling a simple cater to a fan.

𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒 -

He confides in you. He will tell you how his day of work was without sprinkling non hardships. He finds you entertaining and good to be around.

𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐄 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒 -

What started off as a simple friendship now is closer. He confides in you and tells you many things. He trusts you and you trust him. He tells you about how his days are or really anything without sprinkling in sugar.

𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐄𝐒 -

Fake will poke fun of, make snarky remarks, and get all hot headed when he is around you. What a brat. He cannot stand the utter thought of being with someone like you for more than five seconds.

𝐍𝐄𝐔𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐋 -

He sees you at diners, clubs, and sometimes at the corner of a shop. He occasionally gives you a smile and sometimes even a wave. You two sometimes talk to one another when you so happen to run into each other. However despite this, nothing special comes to fruition. But that can change.

𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 ~

What a strange feeling. You two have been together for awhile and somehow you're here. He calls you by nicknames such as darling, my beloved, and dearest. He can be a bit of a jerk and perhaps once will put you on display for all to see, but at the end of the day he means well enough. You are his prize possession. Please note that he is bisexual. I am fine with shipping BUT they have to have known each other for awhiiile and should not be forced upon.

Feel free to send in your muses with writing in my inbox for a response or dm me for interactions. I don't mind short responses too! (Just keep in mind again; I like to be a bit lengthy sometimes as I like to write the characters emotions, actions, etc) I will work with anything :) This blog is also cross over friendly so I don't mind other characters interacting, I highly encourage it to be frank. I also do not mind others portraying the same character. I do NOT DO MAINS. I interact freely 💜.

Sorry for the long pinned post, I think I had to get some info out, especially the character.

Penned by - your mom.

Clh / Rayman rp wakey wakey wakey wakey are you awake now?

#{⭐️} 𝐓𝐨𝐨 𝐛𝐚𝐚𝐚𝐝 !~ // 𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 #{🎤} 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐈 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧. // 𝐨𝐨𝐜 #{💜} 𝐖𝐡𝐨 𝐦𝐞? 𝐈'𝐦 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 ~ // 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 #{☀️} 𝐌𝐲 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞! // 𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞 #roleplay #rp #roleplay blog #fakeman #rayman #crossover rp #clh rp #rayman rp

[destinygoldenstar]

Ninjago Dragons Rising Season 2 - Is It Good Or Nah?

So, I'm late to the party, aren't I?

Well I've had so much work that I think I'm having an existential crisis. So I had to wait till I had a free day to watch this season because I wanted to watch it with my GF.

We got to Episode 6, and then what did my boss do?

Slap me in the face with long work hours several days of the week.

I feel like I'm in a spiral of work after work after work with no purpose to life besides failure cause I can't trust myself to be capable at anything-

ANYWAY. We finished it now.

You know what the insane part about the season is? That it got the show trending on Tumblr.

That's an INSANE level of hype right there.

So I seriously had to ask myself "What the actual f**k happened in the show that caused THIS much hype?!"

So... here are my thoughts on the season.

SPOILER WARNING

Okay, so this may be a factor of my judgement, but due to my schedule, I was forced to watch only 6 Episodes one day, and then the last 4 Episodes today. Keep that in mind.

When it came to the first half of the season, was it good?

Yes. Obviously.

Was it living up to the insane level of hype?

Uh... not really for me??

Now, don't take that as a negative. This season is still REALLY good.

After the first season took awhile to get started as it needed to set up its characters and this new world, it makes sense for this season to throw the punches immediately.

The season gets started with its main plot right away with Ras immediately putting his plan into action, and by Episode 2, it's very clear the threat level he opposes and it's believable that we should be intimidated by what he wants.

Even though in Episode 2's fight, while AMAZINGLY choreographed, I was just screaming at the screen "HIT THE PERSON HOLDING THE GONG."

Like seriously, more than one of the characters in this fight can use projectiles with their powers AND they have a blaster in the Bounty, and the show never says that Ras has some sort of armor defense preventing him from getting blasted. He's literally standing out in the open. And the gong is clearly what's giving Cinder power. So HIT THE PERSON WITH THE GONG.

GOSH.

Anyway, that's not important. What's important is that this season's fight choreo is genuinely AMAZING. I am obsessed with the way the camera moves with the characters in these fights you have no idea. I was genuinely blown away by the last episode's fight in particular. But more on the ending later.

What also shocked me was how BRUTAL some of the stuff that happens here is, which caught me off guard.

I mean, Episode 2 has Euphrasia getting ambushed and crashed off the Cloud Kingdom with clear injuries, and Wyldfyre getting her leg SHATTERED. Like, WHAT?! HOW OFTEN DOES THAT HAPPEN?!! (Even though the latter's healing was unrealistic. Like, it would realistically take months for an injury like that to heal. Not a critique, just saying.)

Ras body slams Jordanna at one point. He puts Arin in a CHOKEHOLD. And also beats him up so brutally... like OMG this guy does not mess around.

The Fear Cave Trial also REALLY got me tripping. Not only was it such a visually appealing moment, but it also, as the same suggests, showed several character psyches that were insane.

Except Kai for some reason. That's gonna drive me NUTS until I get an answer. WHAT DID HE SEE-?!

Then we get to the dragon mentors, and...

Yeah the season kinda loses me in the middle.

Don't get me wrong, I love the character bits here as much as anyone. But with how dyer they made the threat of Ras before, Ras and his forces take a backseat in the middle portion of the season and we're mostly just sitting at these training grounds talking. And for four episodes of it? It's a little grating, even if it is important.

The middle is mostly where most of my issues with the season stand. And here's where I get all my negatives out of the way:

Like I said, because this season is so long, there's an awkward pause in the conflict on the dragons plotline to learn this Rising Dragon Technique. Which I wouldn't mind if it wasn't FOUR EPISODES of it.

With the exception of the attack at the Land of Lost Things ONCE, Ras's army doesn't go after the ninja at all. I can kinda get the dragons group since they didn't have Bonzle, but he has to know that they ARE a threat, right? They're obviously trying to figure out how to stop you.

And even with the group that has Bonzle, what they NEED, the forces that go after that group is the Administration and the one off magician man villain, the former really didn't need to be in this season even if it was for a compelling Jay cameo, and the latter has overstayed his welcome at this point and I just rolled my eyes when he showed up on screen.

I'm all for Cole being a badass as much as the next guy, but WHY this magician man, who at this point, is so disconnected with the main antagonistic forces that he serves no purpose?

Why not, I don't know, use this screen time instead to explain what in the world happened with Cole when he left?

Seriously, the first season had this huge cliffhanger with Cole's character and him going after Wu's ghost. I wonder what's gonna happen to him and what he's gonna find out-

Oh. He's just back.

That to me is a huge disappointment. What was the point of him leaving the Lost Family in the first place if this journey was basically nothing? He doesn't even talk about it! COME ON NOW.

Also I think Zane should get slay pass on the Administration guy that called him equipment. What do y'all think?

I don't like Egot. Or whatever his name was. He's very condescending and cryptic and talks down to his only hope of the world being saved. But I think I'm supposed to dislike him for it, and there's gonna be more of his characterization revealed later, so don't take this one as a critique. The female one is great though.

The sorceress lady was... a choice in the narrative. My one critique for the ending was the potion shenanigans. Not because they were bad, but because they just felt so out of place among everything else. Like, "Oh, this finale is too dark and intense! We need to occasionally cut to wacky shenanigans with this sorceress's magic to prevent kids from feeling too much dread!"

I don't know, for me, I would've placed this stuff with the Administration instead, and instead have the group fight Jordanna, lose, and have her get away and flow that to Arin getting to her. Especially since the Administration posed such little threat to them and they even say such.

(I also have a theory that this sorceress is Wyldfyre's birth mom. I have no evidence to back this up besides "They both have red hair and similar facial structure")

With Cloud Kingdom getting taken over and Euphrasia captured, I thought she would have more of a role to play in this since this is, you know, her HOME and she's their guardian.

But nope. She does next to nothing up until the very end and plays prisoner and waits for the ninja to save her.

For gosh sake girl, you're the master of wind. FLY.

And finally, my last critique, Cinder.

Yeah I'm sorry, I'm not buying this character so far. Not that I don't think he'll have anything to do in the second part, but for how threatening he was in Episode 2, that threat level kinda vanishes in the middle and only comes back at the end. He does next to nothing and we learn nothing about him other than "He likes power". Jordanna is probably more unlikeable, but at least she has conflict going on with Ras and her magic, and she still serves more of a role in the plan besides being a foot soldier.

And... yep. That's all my critiques for this season. Which all seem pretty minor.

You know what this season is real good at? Characters.

As though that wasn't obvious already.

I did NOT expect Bonzle to play any major role at all, I thought she was just gonna be the dry and cynical side character. But no. She has a history. She has a life. She has emotions. All of which REALLY shine through at the end when you hear her voice have more range in it. The VA killed it. I ended up feeling so bad for her.

Especially considering what happens to her.

They're also not even hiding it anymore with Geo x Cole. They're just NOT. I love them and I hope we see more of their relationship in the future.

I genuinely don't understand the critique of "Geo is so selfish referring to him as Cole's family when it's obvious Cole has other people in his life."

Well no shit, you ever heard of a character flaw?

But it's also a completely understandable flaw. You guys aren't forgetting the part where Geo was abandoned for being a mixed race, right? Of course he's gonna cling to someone as compassionate and encouraging as Cole.

The Jay cameo was nice. I expect him to play no role in this season, but it's really compelling what they showed and I was satisfied with it.

Lloyd's conflict was handled very well in my opinion.

What's it called when it's PTSD, but it's about future events rather than past events? Foresight Traumatic Stress Disorder? FTSD? Yeah let's go with that.

For a kids show that glosses over trauma, (That's not a Ninjago problem, that's a kids show problem), it was really refreshing for them to not do that for once. It's actually explored and talked about and Lloyd is given advice on how to cope with it, and he freezes up in panic attacks when these visions happen and-THANK YOU. THANK YOU FOR NOT IGNORING HOW HARD SOMETHING LIKE THIS IS.

Seriously, as someone who is going through stuff like this, minus the magic element, it spoke to me a lot. It really shows that this show grew up with me, and I both love and hate that.

I do think this sort of arc is going to hit hard for adults much more than kids.

Are kids constantly terrified of the future and getting paralyzed with these fears and finding it difficult to cope with the traumas that is time and human life?

No?

Kai is also a standout in this, especially towards the end. This is by far the best Kai has been in a long time in terms of quality. I love how one of his most significant flaws gets addressed here, that being his overreliance on himself and his own abilities over the others, who he feels responsible to protect.

And the way he grasps with that and learns to let loose like he did as a child back in the old days through what he loves the most, that being his family. And the flashbacks with him and his sister. And the whole sequence of him learning Rising Dragon - AUGH ITS SO GOOD.

How poetic is it that the character most devoted to family since childhood is only cocky and angry because of his own desire to be the one with power to keep them safe, gets power by letting that go, being a kid again, and joining the same roots as his own family?

AND THEN HE GIVES UP HIS LIFE FOR THEM-

And finally, Arin.

Oh you poor sweet, sweet child.

First of all, yes, I am completely subscribed to the theory that the show is building up Arin turning on the ninja and becoming a villain. It's all there. It all fits. The amount of times they say how sweet he is as though that's gonna get lost. The dragons, the creators of the world, the gods basically, telling him he's not good enough. Ras confronting him. Sora's stunt even after she's been the most encouraging of him, like the BETRAYAL there. It's all there. And I will be posting my theory scenario on this don't you worry.

BUT, I don't think that's the route they're gonna go. Kids show and all of that. They wouldn't do that to one of their main characters. Unless you're Star Wars. At most I think Arin will be tempted by Ras's master's power in an episode and even do it, but then with the power of love and friendship, it'll get fixed.

So instead I'd rather say that Arin, by far, has the BEST power crisis arc of the entire show so far.

I LOVE that he doesn't get powers. That's something the original show would've done. I LOVE that he doesn't figure anything out in the end and his inner doubts get proven correct. That's something the original show would not have the guts to do.

I liked Arin in the first season, but he didn't interest me too much. Mostly because Sora had the lion share of focus in the first season. Here though? He might just take the crown for THE most relatable character. And I both love and hate it so much.

Like, seeing everyone else succeed in mastery while you can't even figure out your own thing. You get told you have a natural talent and a lot of potential and that you're good at a lot of things, only for that to be put to the test in the real world and you end up letting everyone down. Even when your loved ones encourage you that you are good enough and you're special in your own way, you can't get those voices out of your head and you mess up again and again and again to try and meet the world's expectations. Then those in charge tell you you're not good enough and wasted potential. Then you try everything out in the real world anyway and you FAIL, and those that doubt you and your own insecurities get proven correct as you're left a broken mess of a young child who doesn't know what the hell they're doing-

I'M IN THIS SHOW AND I DON'T LIKE IT.

I probably love Sora more as a character, but I will admit I grasp towards Arin more right now. Sora's a great trans allegory in a world that hates trans people. But I'm not trans so I relate to it a bit less. Arin's a great autistic allegory in a world that doesn't know how to help autistic people. And I am autistic so I relate to it more. That's just a me situation.

I am so invested in where Arin's story goes from here. Evil or not.

So yeah, the season was good, but didn't completely live up to the insane hype, which, to be fair, is a high bar.

UNTIL THE LAST FOUR EPISODES.

And then all of a sudden, I AM SHOCKED AND SHAKEN TO MY CORE.

These last four episodes are an absolute emotional roller coaster that left me shaking and screaming the whole time.

I actually SCREAMED at multiple occasions.

I actually screamed so many times watching this that I am now HOARSE.

THAT'S how hard it hit me.

The story goes from 0 to 100 the moment the Blood Moon shows up. Which was what the whole season was building up to. And it did NOT disappoint.

The race to try and protect Bonzle. The intense visions and paralysis Lloyd suffers from. Ras and the army coming back to the plot to be absolute powerhouses. The last episode of DREAD the entire time to desperately try to stop this ritual.

HUMAN SACRIFICES?! AM I WATCHING A KIDS SHOW RIGHT NOW?!?!

I was begging for Arin to succeed at getting Bonzle to safety, even though I knew he stood no chance against Ras. "Come on Arin! You got this!! YOU GOT THIS, SWEETIE!!"

And then Ras just goes to TOWN on the poor boy and taunts his utter failure, which HURTS SO BAD MAN.

The entire fight with the army, Cinder, and Ras. The destruction of the mechs which knocks them unconscious for a bit. Kai figuring out Rising Dragon again when his family gets put in danger. The way Nya avenges her brother afterwards.

When Bonzle was getting morphed back into spell form, BEGGING, I was begging too.

But they still do it!

And KAI?!?!

I couldn't even process what happened other than me screaming. From the moment Ras alluded to sacrificing Kai against his consent, I was screaming "NO. DON'T DO IT."

AND THEN THEY SACRIFICE HIM.

LIKE HOLY GOSH THIS FINALE DID NOT MESS AROUND.

I predicted a while back, in the first season actually, that Kai was gonna get sacrificed at some point. Who's laughing now? I DID NOT WANT TO BE RIGHT.

Like, usually in Ninjago the character would be willing to sacrifice themselves for the others. But here? This is without Kai's consent at all. Ras might as well have killed him right here.

It definitely felt that way with the way the others react and BEG for his safety. The way Nya avenges him.

And Kai giving up his shot at escape for the sake of his family? BRO. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

It hurts even more when you realize that when the Merge happened, Lloyd was ALONE thinking only he survived. He only gained hope again because of his reunion with Kai. His beloved surrogate brother!

AND NOW HE'S GONE.

NYA AND LLOYD LOST THEIR BROTHER.

WYLDFYRE LOST HER SURROGATE FATHER.

THEY THINK HE'S BASICALLY DEAD.

BRO. THAT'S SOUL CRUSHING.

And then Sora?! Why you gotta betray Arin like that?!

The most encouraging friend towards Arin, the person who held onto hope and praises for him the most, betrays that hope and doesn't trust him enough to get the winning blow himself. Then LIES about it.

GIRL. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

That's going to be SO compelling once that gets outed. Like, morally, that was messed up and she was definitely in the wrong, BUT it led to the best possible outcome for them at the moment. They WON because she did NOT believe in Arin's abilities. Which only proves that the doubts about Arin's said abilities are correct.

And I have a gut feeling she's gonna learn Spinjitsu on top of that. And once that happens... double ouch.

Again, Evil Arin Theory.

I really hate to say it, but this reminds way too much of Arcane. If you know what I'm talking about.

I am totally imagining a situation similar to that in my head, that being a rescue mission for Kai, they decide to leave Arin out of it because of the lack of faith in him, he tags along anyway and he ruins their plan and Kai stays trapped there, Lloyd and Sora lash out on him for it, and before they can apologize they get thrusted back by something and Ras and Ras's master find Arin and take him in-

Again, I'll make a post about that.

The finale was by far the best part of this season. It has been a long time since Ninjago has made me HOARSE from being too invested.

That has not happened to me since Sons of Garmadon.

Because, yeah, I actually have NO IDEA where any of this is headed. How are they gonna save Kai and Bonzle? Why did some of Lloyd's visions not come true? What in the world is going on with Ras? Will the Administration help with that? Will the source dragons help with that?

What I probably do know is that Part 2 of this season is going to turn this into the best Ninjago Product since Tournament of Elements. Maybe even top it depending on my rewatches if my problems are still problems.

So... yeah. Good or Nah? Good. Obviously.

The hype is a little overblown to me, but it still deserves the hype.

#ninjago #ninjago dragons rising #dragons rising #dragons rising spoilers #ninjago lloyd #lloyd garmadon #ninjago sora #ninjago wyldfyre #ninjago kai #kai jiang #kai smith #ninjago nya #nya smith #nya jiang #ninjago zane #zane julien #ninjago arin #ninjago cole #cole brookstone #ninjago ras

[ka1t0-s]

wait no because actually, if satans physical form was created the day they fell, as seen in that one card animation and possibly mentioned in nightbringer, not that I can remember atm,

and if lillith died the day that they fell, as it was too late to save her once she fell,

doesnt that make satans birthday the end of the war? or more importantly, the day lillith died??

#I've had this thought for awhile #the brothers probably never celebrated his birthday for awhile after that #or if they did it was just kind of sad #probably got over it after awhile #they dont even celebrate birthdays until mc comes #probably just asmo #or they just do present exchanges #ik his days like 4 months away but its interesting to think about if they changed the day or not #satan obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me shall we date #obey me satan #obey me lilith #kind of #them sharing a birth/death day adds on to one of my many other lillith-satan similarity headcannons

[lecliss]

I'll never be able to take the theory that Vincent is Sephiroth's real father seriously cuz I cannot stress enough how important I think it is to the plot that Vincent wanted to fuck Lucrecia and did not get to.

#once again i jest but now i have to actually talk about it #like. okay we have no proof of any actual timeline for the dirge flashbacks other than. it was at least 30 years ago #so who knows how long they were at the manor. could have been weeks before The Incident. or months. or maybe a full year! who knows #but to me a timeline of like. they fucked and like a week later vincent found The Evidence and lucercia had her little breakdown #AND THEN EXTREMELY QUICKLY SHE AGREED TO THE EXPERIMENT AND IT COULD GO ONE OF TWO WAYS #1. she knew she was pregnant and thats why she agreed to the experiment cuz there was already a usable subject #and therefore she must have fucked hojo like a week after she fucked vincent AND THATS STUPID FAST FOR THESE EVENTS #or 2. she didnt know. agreed to the experiment. fucked hojo. and therefore thought seph was hojo's and NOT vincent's #AND BY THE WAY. i dont even actually believe hojo fucked either!!! cuz theyre both scientists so why wouldnt they think IVF was the best way #okay. well.... hojo is canonically a fucked up little freak. so. he might have taken the opportunity to... get in there. #also when did ivf even start being a thing? cuz that may play a factor into this if nomura even considered that #well either way lets just unfortunately assume hojo got in there #ITS STILL AN ODDLY FAST TIMELINE #also. fuck man doesnt lucrecia have a later line in dirge where she actually says shes in love with hojo? or something along those lines #IMPLYING ITS BEEN AWHILE SINCE SHE HAD THE FALLING OUT WITH VINCENT. YOU WOULDNT FUCK THE GUY AFTER ALL THAT SHIT #AND WHILE CLAIMING TO LOVE/CURRENTLY FALLING IN LOVE WITH HOJO!!!! LIKE CMON MAN!!!! SHE SUCKS BUT SHES NOT THAT KIND OF A MESS #i dont think vincent would fuck her until they sorted out their issues anyway and that CLEARLY didnt happen. #its VITAL that that did not happen!!!! #its just. if vincent and lucrecia fucked. everything would have had to happen EXTREMELY fast within like a 2 week timespan #and im just talking about up to when vincent learns shes partaking in the experiment. it was probably another week or two until vincent died #SO. logically it must have been like #fall in love->learn about the gimoire incident->refuse to speak to vincent->get obsessed with hojo->fall in love(?) #and then thats where i think its ambiguous on did the experiment become an idea before or after seph started to exist? #like chicken or the egg ya know. experiment idea or sephiroth zygote? #that feels fucked up to say. im so fucking sorry to seph to talk about this. yeah sorry i have to debate who fucked your mom bro #god imagine telling him that. like not even as a reveal thing cuz he knows who his father is. just like as a sick joke. your mom joke. #NO OH M Y GOD I HAVE A QUESTION NOW #in accordance to him having a photo of lucrecia in ever crisis. after he reads that jenova is an ancient (incorrect btw) #does he think that picture is still her? what about when he takes jenova's body from the lab???? #oh my god 30 tag limit. FUCK. i need like a rant blog for all this vincent talk now. my brain is going a mile a minute

[thistaleisabloodyone]

Okay, take this with a grain of salt because this was me and three stopwatches, but I've timed how often I hear each vocalist in four different RMPG songs and in 3/4 of them, Hokuto comes in with the least time.

Tumblr Desktop is having a Freak Out and not working, so I can't upload the screenshots right now, but I did Swag & Pride, The Power, Silver Rain and Move the World.

Swag & Pride:

Kazuma: 1:17.0

Riku: 1:15.0

Hokuto: 0:46.2

The Power:

Kazuma: 1:18.8

Riku: 1:02.1

Hokuto: 0:55.9

Silver Rain:

Kazuma: 1:18.4

Riku: 0:55.7

Hokuto: 1:00.5

Move the World:

Kazuma: 1:05.4

Riku: 0:53.1

Hokuto: 0:43.3

So Kazuma comes out on top every time, then Riku is second most often in 3/4 songs and Hokuto is the least often in 3/4 songs.

Obviously there's extra notes, like for Move the World, I counted the echo-y "Move the World" towards Kazuma's total, since anytime it plays and you can see him, his mouth is moving. But this isn't a scientific paper, I'm not defending a thesis, so I won't go into that super much.

#the rampage from exile tribe #thistale rambles #this intrigues me #awhile ago there was a discussion #about which vocalist might have been cut if they had gone for 2 instead of 3 #(which i still say would've been an asshole move after picking 3 winners #but that's beside the point) #but this makes me wonder if hokuto wasn't as safe as we thought he was

[dylanconrique]

the rookie promo: implied chenford smex.

my brain: please no.

#*and this is icarly! #the rookie #the rookie spoilers #chenford #AM I CRAZY????? #like i don't know how time lapses work in the rookie world #but we're only two episode in from after the winter finale... #and in the first lucy told tim that he probably wasn't going to see her naked for awhile #now three episodes back and they're already going at it???? #hmm... don't know how i feel about that #ik dylan is busy touring but i hope we get a part 2 of tamara interrupting them #and then maybe continue to hold off till like episode 15/16? #idk i'm just rambling my thoughts and opinions here #ik a lot of you will probably disagree but that's okay lol #tim bradford #lucy chen

[hellpride]

Thinking abt the time I met J.eremy J.ordan without knowing and had a big mentally ill moment

#i will never live that down lmao #i was literally chatting about newsies to a friend after we walked out and hes just #im glad you liked it #i thought he was some creep and only responded ‘ok’ and ditched him #I DONT KNOW PEOPLE BY FACES THAT WELL #anywats onmw home to do replies #feel free to bully me #this was awhile ago ago

[bangcakes]

.

#im literally so NDJDJDJJDJDJDNDN #idk how i didnt see this b4......... but like LOL why did i think things could only develop from seeing each other in person #like if we message.... its pretty much the same as like those brief interactions we were havin anyway b4/between/after class #also.... much more doable JJDMDDJD #god i feel so....... !!!!!! fool..... #idk i think i just need to worry about it less....... things will progress still ... ya NDJDJJDJDJDJDJD #idk this is the first time im experiencing this.... so im just ???? clueless #plus like i havent wanted to keep in touch with anyone since high school. so its like. trying to do that while also having like adult #responsibilities is hard djdjdjsjkdjdj #hhhh anyway #proud of myself for coming this far lmao. thought i was broken for awhile bc i like. didnt know that you were supposed to pursue crushes #i thought it was just a fun thing JDJDJJDDJD until one of my friends in 9th grade was like oh so are you gonna make a move ??? #and i was like lol wut #but now i understand. i really do. it only took 29 years LMAO GOD. #personal #wait i should clarify that my friend said that to me while we were in 9th grade JDJDJDJD the way i wrote it sounds weird

[shroomierambles]

why’s it so embarrassing when u start catching feelings for someone aaaaaahhhhhh

#he’s simply a Silly Goofy Guy #not beating the Goofy Bi Guy stereotype lol #I do feel quite silly waitin for his ig notifs since he started dming me tho #unfortunately I do be Experiencing Feelings 😔 #but also fun vibes cause it’s been awhile since I Started Talking To someone irl (like not including dating app chats) #not that we’re Talking™. idk if we are. idk. social interactions are confusing lol #maybe we are maybe not ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #we messaged a bit yesterday when he messaged first #then today I sent him a meme & we’ve been messaging for awhile #he’s working on a play & we we’re chatting before the show started & I thought that might’ve been it #but he messaged again after it finished & we’ve been talking a lil while now too :) #he’s rly friendly tho & we were kinda just becoming friends so it could well be just Next Stage Of Friendship #cause it’s not like either of us have said anything flirty or anything. just talkin & joking #plus he’s a few years younger than me- not in a creepy way. both legal adults in college- #I just usually have a weird thing with age gaps over like 2 years because of a personal negative experience #so it would just make me feel better if I don’t initiate anything first #I’ll let him do that if he wants to & then ask if he had any thoughts about the bit of age difference #if anything were to get that far. who’s to say. he’s a v chill platonic friend too if that’s where things go :) #need more funny goofy friends in my life :) #ok I’m done lmao #shroomie rambles #shroomie long tags

[aria0fgold]

Okay, Mel rambling no. uhhhh 4? AIGHT, time for some of his hair facts. Mel's hair is dyed, his natural hair color is dark brown and he dyes it pink at least every month. Not doing it himself though, he goes to the salon for that. Although he did do it himself back when his hair wasn't so long.

He chose pink, cuz pink is his favourite colour. He frequents one salon and practically becomes a regular patron in it that everyone knows him. At first they thought that Mel is a type of customer that prefers peace and quiet, but one employee talked to Mel and they ended up finding out that Mel can be quite chatty so now they chat with him a lot.

Also he walks his cats everyday, 3 different cats each day. He puts his hair up in a ponytail using a ribbon whenever he does cuz that time of day is still too early for the neighborhood kids to be up and about yet. Basically he wakes up every morning at 5, tend to his hair a bit, walks the cats, feed em, and back to do the full hair routine. And he lets the cats out to the front yard afterwards where the neighborhood kids are up and about to come visit.

At first the kids weren't sure how to approach Mel cuz he rarely smiles (he loves to smile when with other people he trusts though). The kids thought he was unfriendly so they kept their distance for awhile, until they saw the cats in the front yard and one of em mustered up the courage to ask if they can play with em.

Frequent visits led em to becoming close to Mel and learning that hey, he actually isn't so bad after all. He lets the kids inside the house and also gives em snacks. He's literally living the life of an old cat lady that's like a grandma to the kids in the neighborhood.

In fact, Mel isn't that good with kids, he doesn't know how to actually handle em so he just watches over em and plays along with whatever they want as long as it aint dangerous (one time they wanted to reenact rapunzel with him where Mel goes to the balcony and lets down his hair for em to climb. He wanted to try that so bad but too dangerous for the kids). A great listener too!

#aria rants #i should add an oc tag to this actually #ariaoc #ariaoc: mel #there we go #i oughta edit the tags of the prev posts #i think this is the last for the day??? eeererrrrrr #i feel like theres one more that i should make #like theres a couple more stuff im missing bout mel #ill just put some broken pieces of facts i got in the tags #like at this point mel unofficially adopted those kids #he's like an unofficial godparent #each holiday he has smth to give for those kids #prepares em christmas gifts even #also his id is always with him in his pocket cuz whenever he goes to buy alcohol #sometimes the cashier asks for it cuz baby faced and tiny. my guy does not look like 30. #although some cashiers recognize him after awhile so they dont ask for the id anymore #would it be funny if i give him an incident where he's walking home late at night #and an officer thought he's a highschooler and now tryna scold him for being out and about so late? #curse of being tiny. he deserves it. i aint boutta be the only one tiny here #i say that but compared to his height. im still smaller #goddammit i have another more but this time bout his cats #time for another post les gooooooooo tags cannot contain my rotting brain

[bloggirl8842]

I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on my high school crush. It was this hugeee devastating thing to me bc I’d grown up w the guy and it was this torch I carried for three years so publicly and for no reason other than to have a hobby, though it started with what I still think was genuine chemistry (or the potential for it), and coming out of it made me shut off that part of myself almost entirely bc I thought I just became an issue when I felt that sort of affection but it’s all so crazy! I was mentioning this to my therapist as like blah blah blah I didn’t date growing up, I got a huge crush on my friend and I knew I didn’t have a chance so I pushed him away and he got a girlfriend and we didn’t really talk after that but I kept the crush isn’t that so weird, and she was like “wait no you did have a chance. You were friends and you pushed him away to retreat into fantasy but you could’ve tried to actually go after him or even just maintained the friendship after his relationship began.” And that’s been ringing in my head for a MONTH because it’s true and he and I weren’t even fully friends but we had the potential to be like we had inside jokes we admired each other’s work and I just cut any chance of that off because I was so freaked! I can distinctly recall myself avoiding chances at connecting! I wish I’d pursued that friendship I don’t think it would’ve been a big important thing or that we would’ve been close but I think it would’ve at least been nice

#it’s definitely too late now I followed him on ig once and he would not follow me back. really wrird bc his little brother does nd i dont #talk to that guy i just like his art #he’s still v sweet though. i ran into him a few years ago on the street and he walked around w me for an hour and kept missing his bus to go #home bc he wanted to keep talking. he also told me his deepest fear and made me tell him mine (mine was being alone) and i meant being alone #in a general no friends no loved ones no understanding way but he went ‘’aww im sure youll find somebody’’ and i was like i should kill you #for that. did you just assume im an incel. i mean i WAS an incel but come on #i wonder if he knew. he couldn’t have not known. worst part of all it was that i didnt even really like him like that after the first six #months i just did not get how any of this attraction love relationship stuff worked and didnt want to try anything real w anyone else #god this is gonna be a regret of mine for awhile i think we couldve been really fun friends 😭 #and instead i used the idea of him to just fuck my brain up #okay time to nap I cant stare at this one regret again im always moving! i really had not thought about it in years before like this month

[clamorybus]

we got bacl from grammie's wake. it was surprisingly pleasant despite how sad we were

#i gotta hand it to the funeral home--she really looked like she was asleep #mickey.txt #despite well. the occasion #it was a surprisingly pleasant get together #a lot of her old coworkers from when she worked at the supermarket were there #and i got to see my stepcousins i haven't seen since before covid #and it took my niece about an hour to get fidgety and antsy #which is an impressive for an 8 year old tbh #it was funny after awhile whenever the mood got really low my mom was like 'okay kid--do a cartwheel' #because my niece LOVES cartwheels and there was so much space for cartwheels #it was fun lol #just what grammie loved honestly; everyone sitting and shooting the shit #and the grandbaby/ies being cute #ngl everytime my niece did a cartwheel or jiggled the fidget toy i lent her #i had an instinctual gut reaction of 'SHH NOOO YOU'RE GONNA WAKE UP GRAMMIE' #i miss her already. i never got to bond with her the way i would've liked to #but she was a lovely grandma. the type that always fussed over everyone #'did you want anything sweetie?' 'jen you want help in the kitchen?' 'want me to do anything?' type of grandma lol #she was a worry wort but very sweet. growing up she always sewed us coats and dresses and blankets #she taught me how to knit; like 80% of my knitting stuff used to be hers #she gave me a whole carpet bag of knitting gear and yarn when i was like 14/15 #she taught me card tricks when i was kid. she used loved brushing my hair but she used #her old lady metal brush that hurt lol #she used to take us to the library #and she used to take us to the movies a lot as kids but she'd take us to a convenience store first to buy our candy #and as kids we thought that was the coolest most badass thing in the world #growing up we used to spend a weekend at her house once every few months #and on sundays she'd take us to her mom's apartment to organize her pills and stuff #idk. im glad she was in my life but i miss her already. at least now she's with her mom and brother 💕

[joycrispy]

Awhile ago @ouidamforeman made this post:

This shot through my brain like a chain of firecrackers, so, without derailing the original post, I have some THOUGHTS to add about why this concept is not only hilarious (because it is), but also...

It. It kind of fucks. Severely.

And in a delightfully Pratchett-y way, I'd dare to suggest.

I'll explain:

As inferred above, both Crowley AND Aziraphale have canonical Biblical counterparts. Not by name, no, but by function.

Crowley, of course, is the serpent of Eden.

(note on the serpent of Eden: In Genesis 3:1-15, at least, the serpent is not identified as anything other than a serpent, albeit one that can talk. Later, it will be variously interpreted as a traitorous agent of Hell, as a demon, as a guise of Satan himself, etc. In Good Omens --as a slinky ginger who walks funny)

Lesser known, at least so far as I can tell, is the flaming sword. It, too, appears in Genesis 3, in the very last line:

"So he drove out the man; and placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life." --Genesis 3:24, KJV

Thanks to translation ambiguity, there is some debate concerning the nature of the flaming sword --is it a divine weapon given unto one of the Cherubim (if so, why only one)? Or is it an independent entity, which takes the form of a sword (as other angelic beings take the form of wheels and such)? For our purposes, I don't think the distinction matters. The guard at the gate of Eden, whether an angel wielding the sword or an angel who IS the sword, is Aziraphale.

(note on the flaming sword: in some traditions --Eastern Orthodox, for example-- it is held that upon Christ's death and resurrection, the flaming sword gave up it's post and vanished from Eden for good. By these sensibilities, the removal of the sword signifies the redemption and salvation of man.

...Put a pin in that. We're coming back to it.)

So, we have our pair. The Serpent and the Sword, introduced at the beginning and the end (ha) of the very same chapter of Genesis.

But here's the important bit, the bit that's not immediately obvious, the bit that nonetheless encapsulates one of the central themes, if not THE central theme, of Good Omens:

The Sword was never intended to guard Eden while Adam and Eve were still in it.

Do you understand?

The Sword's function was never to protect them. It doesn't even appear until after they've already fallen. No... it was to usher Adam and Eve from the garden, and then keep them out. It was a threat. It was a punishment.

The flaming sword was given to be used against them.

So. Again. We have our pair. The Serpent and the Sword: the inception and the consequence of original sin, personified. They are the one-two punch that launches mankind from paradise, after Hell lures it to destruction and Heaven condemns it for being destroyed. Which is to say that despite being, supposedly, hereditary enemies on two different sides of a celestial cold war, they are actually unified by one purpose, one pivotal role to play in the Divine Plan: completely fucking humanity over.

That's how it's supposed to go. It is written.

...But, in Good Omens, they're not just the Serpent and the Sword.

They're Crowley and Aziraphale.

(author begins to go insane from emotion under the cut)

In Good Omens, humanity is handed it's salvation (pin!) scarcely half an hour after losing it. Instead of looming over God's empty garden, the sword protects a very sad, very scared and very pregnant girl. And no, not because a blameless martyr suffered and died for the privilege, either.

It was just that she'd had such a bad day. And there were vicious animals out there. And Aziraphale worried she would be cold.

...I need to impress upon you how much this is NOT just a matter of being careless with company property. With this one act of kindness, Aziraphale is undermining the whole entire POINT of the expulsion from Eden. God Herself confronts him about it, and he lies. To God.

And the Serpent--

(Crowley, that is, who wonders what's so bad about knowing the difference between good and evil anyway; who thinks that maybe he did a GOOD thing when he tempted Eve with the apple; who objects that God is over-reacting to a first offense; who knows what it is to fall but not what it is to be comforted after the fact...)

--just goes ahead and falls in love with him about it.

As for Crowley --I barely need to explain him, right? People have been making the 'didn't the serpent actually do us a solid?' argument for centuries. But if I'm going to quote one of them, it may as well be the one Neil Gaiman wrote ficlet about:

"If the account given in Genesis is really true, ought we not, after all, to thank this serpent? He was the first schoolmaster, the first advocate of learning, the first enemy of ignorance, the first to whisper in human ears the sacred word liberty, the creator of ambition, the author of modesty, of inquiry, of doubt, of investigation, of progress and of civilization." --Robert G. Ingersoll

The first to ask questions.

Even beyond flattering literary interpretation, we know that Crowley is, so often, discreetly running damage control on the machinations of Heaven and Hell. When he can get away with it. Occasionally, when he can't (1827).

And Aziraphale loves him for it, too. Loves him back.

And so this romance plays out over millennia, where they fall in love with each other but also the world, because of each other and because of the world. But it begins in Eden. Where, instead of acting as the first Earthly example of Divine/Diabolical collusion and callousness--

(other examples --the flood; the bet with Satan; the back channels; the exchange of Holy Water and Hellfire; and on and on...)

--they refuse. Without even necessarily knowing they're doing it, they just refuse. Refuse to trivialize human life, and refuse to hate each other.

To write a story about the Serpent and the Sword falling in love is to write a story about transgression.

Not just in the sense that they are a demon and an angel, and it's ~forbidden. That's part of it, yeah, but the greater part of it is that they are THIS demon and angel, in particular. From The Real Bible's Book of Genesis, in the chapter where man falls.

It's the sort of thing you write and laugh. And then you look at it. And you think. And then you frown, and you sit up a little straighter. And you think.

And then you keep writing.

And what emerges hits you like a goddamn truck.

(...A lot of Pratchett reads that way. I believe Gaiman when he says Pratchett would have been happy with the romance, by the way. I really really do).

It's a story about transgression, about love as transgression. They break the rules by loving each other, by loving creation, and by rejecting the hatred and hypocrisy that would have triangulated them as a unified blow against humanity, before humanity had even really got started. And yeah, hell, it's a queer romance too, just to really drive the point home (oh, that!!! THAT!!!)

...I could spend a long time wildly gesturing at this and never be satisfied. Instead of watching me do that (I'll spare you), please look at this gif:

I love this shot so much.

Look at Eve and Crowley moving, at the same time in the same direction, towards their respective wielders of the flaming sword. Adam reaches out and takes her hand; Aziraphale reaches out and covers him with a wing.

You know what a shot like that establishes? Likeness. Commonality. Kinship.

"Our side" was never just Crowley and Aziraphale. Crowley says as much at the end of season 1 ("--all of us against all of them."). From the beginning, "our side" was Crowley, Aziraphale, and every single human being. Lately that's around 8 billion, but once upon a time it was just two other people. Another couple. The primeval mother and father.

But Adam and Eve die, eventually. Humanity grows without them. It's Crowley and Aziraphale who remain, and who protect it. Who...oversee it's upbringing.

Godfathers. Sort of.

#good omens #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #good omens 2 #crowley #aziraphale #good omens meta #I have no idea if I've made a coherent point here but I'm tired of this being in my drafts; RAW FEELINGS IT IS #it's about being sent to destroy and instead staying to love and protect and nurture I'M CRAZY I'M CRAZY RAAAAAAAGGHHHH #gnu terry pratchett