#but god am I the most annoying about it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

softquietsteadylove · 3 months

Note

Both are attending a meeting with some business partners but soon they insult and make fun of Gil getting himself shot. Thena isn’t having it at all and soon they are begging for mercy and forgiveness 😈

For the tyrant king au of course 😁

"Then we're agreed."

Gil stood, although he hadn't said nearly as much in the meeting as Thena had with their associates. The businessmen in question were mostly interested in Thena's assets, after all, it was just that some of their 'goods' would be distributed through Thena's channels, as well as through Koreatown and Chinatown.

He wasn't nearly interested enough in what was being said; he wanted to be at home, with Thena, cuddling on the couch or listening to her read in bed while he played on his phone.

"Indeed we are," Thena nodded. The businessmen offered their hands, but Thena looked over at him. The Ice Queen didn't shake hands unless she was already acquainted with her associate.

Gil sighed, extending his hand to shake instead. The things he did for this woman. "I'm sure our doors will be open if you need to discuss anything else about the plans."

"Thank you," the associates traded looks, "Tyrant King. Your reputation precedes you. We have heard so much about your work."

He wasn't entirely sure what that was supposed to mean, but he slipped his hands into his pockets as they prepared to end the meeting, "great."

"Is it true you killed Kro?" the younger associate of the two asked in a near whisper, a juvenile glee coming from him as he asked.

"No," Gil answered without hesitation. The younger man looked disappointed before he moved his thumb towards Thena beside him, "she did."

"Ah yes, the Ice Queen is not without her own methods."

Gil caught Thena's eye for just a second. Again, he wasn't really sure what this young guy's deal was, but he was more and more eager to wrap things up.

"But The Prince Eternal, that most certainly was you!" the other associate now joined in. Technically, it was bad decorum--bringing up past business that wasn't anything they should be concerned with, Gil thought.

"Uh, yeah," Gil blinked. He wasn't sure how they had found that one out.

"Ah," the older one at least seemed to realise how rude they were being. "Forgive the intrusion. We do have quite a skilled information dealer we consulted before coming. Can't be ignorant to our honourable host's reputations, after all."

"You can be a little ignorant," Gil mumbled, although it was taken as more of a friendly joke than how he meant it--a genuine urging for them to get the fuck out of his office.

"You've had quite the past, Tyrant King!" the younger one chimed in again. "A bungled affair, sending business away left and right!"

"You even got shot last year!"

Perhaps they were unable to read the room--like, at all. But the two seemed elated to prove that they knew the lives of their business associates. They even grinned at him as they said it.

"It happens," the younger one waved it off like it was nothing, "I don't think you're past your prime at all!"

Gil bit his tongue. He didn't realise that was an opinion people had of him. What--because he got shot?! He didn't see how that was his fault.

"It was the fall of one of the great families in the business back in Korea! Their daughter still hasn't been seen in public."

Gil resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"Do you know why that is?"

Gil felt a shiver run up even his spine, and he wasn't the one in trouble. He looked at the men who, by the calm looks on their faces, didn't seem to know yet why the temperature had changed so much.

Thena just stared at them, but they didn't make a guess at all. So, she informed them. "It's because I cut off one of her fingers before I sent her back to them."

The two men looked at one another. Apparently that wasn't in the briefing done by their precious 'information dealer' (horseshit). They put on perfectly polite smiles. "We were unaware, Ice Queen."

"Most are," Thena continued to fix them with her icy green glare. She rustled her lace around her shoulders. "I also told her that she would be relieved of her ears next, if I ever saw her near me, or my husband, again."

"Your-"

"We weren't-"

Poor guys didn't even see it coming. They could have just looked down when Thena adjusted her lace to see that she had reached for her hip. Her fingers had grasped the knife she kept around her thigh, which was now driven into the younger man's leg, dangerously close to some key arteries.

She looked at the other one, who flinched just from that. "I take threats - and disrespect - of the Tyrant King very seriously."

"I-I-I would-" he stuttered, trying to back up to the office doors behind him. But he could never have moved fast enough, getting another of her knives launched into the palm of his hand he had been trying to use to show her he meant no harm.

The younger one pulled the knife out of his thigh, but he wasn't in any condition to fight back. Thena used the sole of her heel to push him over in his crumpled posture, like a wounded animal.

"Did you find the story thrilling?" she asked so dryly and evenly. Gil watched as she reached into the younger man's suit jacket and pulled out the weapon he had in an arm holster. She held it in a way that was kind of sexy, honestly. "Did you find it amusing?"

"I'm sorry!" he yelped, trying to crawl, but his leg was all but useless. "I'm sorry, I won't say it again!"

"Do you know where he was shot?" she turned to the other one, who sprinted to the doors and pulled on them to escape.

She shot him from behind, two in the ribs and one by his clavicle (if he had been turned around facing her). "Is it painful?"

Gil just whistled to himself, impressed as always. Thena didn't even look back at him; she wasn't done.

She walked over to the man dragging his bloody hand down Gil's nice, solid oak door. Again, she used her foot to nudge him into looking up at her. "I said: is it painful?"

"Y-Yes," the man snivelled.

"Yes?" Thena glared down at him, flipping his hand over and stepping on it (the injured one).

"Y-Yes--yes, Ice Queen!"

Thena emptied the rest of the clip next to his head, scaring him very literally shitless. She left him kneeling on the floor, watching his life flash before his eyes. The completely empty and useless weapon, she tossed at the head of the other one, letting it smack him in the face like tossing a food wrapper in the garbage.

Gil pulled his hands out of his pockets just to clap. "Holy shit, Princess, that was hot!"

She glared at him, "is that truly the adjective you wish to choose?"

"Okay," he chuckled, walking over to her to amend his compliment. He kissed her temple, wrapping his arm around her, "it was ice cold."

Thena rolled her eyes at the silly joke (as the men screamed and cried in agony in the background). "That was far worse."

"Yeah, but that's why you're marrying me," Gil snickered, positively delighted to bring up their engagement at every possible opportunity.

Thena sighed, straightening his collar and unbuttoning his shirt, now that they weren't in a very important meeting. She liked seeing the edges of his tattoo sleeves encroaching on his shoulders. "I would not say that is why."

"Okay, okay," he chuckled, leading her out of the office that was about to stink of blood and evacuated bowels. "My devilish good looks were too much to resist, huh?"

Thena didn't chide him, at least, letting him lead her away from the mess they left inside. She merely let her lace settle in the crooks of her elbows as he led her to the elevators. "I am willing to agree if it gets us home that much faster."

Gil pointed at his office from the elevator doors, "that's gonna need a good bleaching."

"Understood sir!" his guys knew what that meant, and exactly what evidence to wash out of his area rugs.

Once they were in the elevator, away from prying eyes, Thena allowed him to nuzzle her cheek. "What an exhausting meeting."

"I barely remember anything from it," he agreed, and the way she laughed meant that he didn't need to tell her that. He kissed her cheek, "but I do remember you saying that you felt like sushi tonight."

"Something light, please," she sighed, allowing him to unravel the tight knots that comprised her business persona.

"Anything you desire, Ice Queen," Gil purred for her. He would tell her when they were home how sexy he found her whole defense of him. Maybe he could even get her to be a little pushy with him tonight.

#Ice Queen/Tyrant King AU #Thena is a badass #and Gil is a s i m p #he is king simp #he is his wife's number one fan #she said: does it hurt #Gil: oh my god oh my jesus fucking christ she's so hot holy shit god i love her oh my fuck she #Gil was ready to just be like ugh this is so annoying #maybe at most he would be like okay haha bad joke #Thena as soon as they joke about him being shot: I am going to make you shit your pants #they wanna joke about Gil almost dying?#about her biggest trauma to date #about the worst time of her life #okay sure she's going to toss a gun at you like a rock at a bunch of seagulls #(please don't throw rocks at seagulls I do not condone this)#also I don't usually bring up guns in my stuff because what am I american?#but Thena can damn well make good use of one if she really has to #she didn't have to shoot next to that guy's head #she does admit maybe that part was overboard #Gil is like baby there's a hole in my floor #Thena *shrugs*: technically I fired three shots so that's not a bad ratio

12 notes · View notes

godsfavoritescientist · 1 year

Text

Its funny how brutally honest the axolotl poem is. Imagine being the most feared triangle in the multiverse and some giant space lizard tells your twelve year old sworn enemies about the time you saw your own dimension burn and then tells them "[bill] says he's happy, he's a liar." I think if I was Bill Cipher I would put the axolotl at the top of my enemies list for that one

#bill meta #the axolotl is just like 'yeah bill has a mysterious tragic backstory and he is sad about it.'#bills response wouldve been 'NUH UH! ive never felt a genuine feeling in my life i have never regretted anything ever!'#'also stop telling people my secrets what the fuck'#'who even are you. why do you think you know me. you dont even know me.'#i am coming up with another brutally honest axolotl poem for my post-weirdmaggeddon fic. bills gonna be so annoyed by it lmao #bill having a completely one sided rivalry with the most chill space god to ever exist is so funny to me

77 notes · View notes

asbestos-11 · 2 months

Text

huhu the struggle of finding blade fics that are about him and his struggle with immortality and whatnot. huhu pleaseeee there's too little gen fics about him.

#fei's talking corner #i filter the living shit out of ao3 but by god i cant find anything #i refuse to read any renheng fic (i am a fixed dynamic person) and thats probably where one could find interesting stuff #but i find that romance annoys me more than not in these sorts of character exploration fics #its also a struggle for other characters too. like on god dr ratio is worse in this department. like hello i love all the aventurine angst #but can i pls get crumbs of ratio character study too?#surprisingly neuvillette and furina have a couple of genuinely good gen angst fics #tho most have either wriollette as a ship (and i cant find myself to like the ship or wrio as a character) or theyre nvfr #or its a cursed combination of character angst + ship angst + good lord this is beyond awful characterization #and i think the cherry on top is trying to find alhaitham character studies that dont involve kavetham or romance #like so far there's only been 1 fic thats been a character study i enjoyed and resonated with me but it still featured kavetham in the end #sighhhhhh why am i doomed to like characters who are so interesting and yet people only care about ships with them?

12 notes · View notes

simcardiac-arrested · 1 year

Text

once again sorry to everyone for bringing this to your dashboards. but some of you are like, genuinely delirious. not even in a funny way. & i hope you die. i hope we both die. hand in unlovable hand etc etc

#Just so fucking bizarre to me how people can be Like This. there has to be something so wrong with your brain on a fundamental level #i can’t even laugh about this or anything because i genuinely feel pity for these people. it’s so sad to me how you’re gonna be like 20 #and then go in a niche tumblr community and create drama over Nothing. over Thin Fucking Air #like do you not have a life? do you not have college? or a job? doesn’t it get tiring? don’t you ever feel ashamed about all this #and the fact that they go and complain about the shipping and the ‘fandombrained’ people as well…. oh my god #how are you going to be TWENTY. and DO THAT. are you seriously sick. ? do you need help #just say you are homophobic and that you hate kids and go. it’ll save everyone a bunch of time for sure #anyways. as someone who has been a rain world fan since 2018. i love you embracing canon. i love you changing canon. i love you disregarding #canon entirely. i love you ships that make sense in canon & that make absolutely zero sense at all. i love you fancharacters that don’t #follow canon rules. i love you ‘cringe’ fancharacters and self inserts. i love you self shipping. i love you oc x canon shipping.#and i love you taking inspiration from designs. i love you community & i love you artists & i love you art #i love you borrowing elements and being inspired and referencing something because you liked it.#are fandoms perfect? GOOD GOD no. is every Fan perfect? no. am i also sometimes annoyed or irrationally pissed off over a ship that #i think is stupid and is illogical. Yes! i’m only human! but i can still love and appreciate the whole CREATIVITY of it all. and the whole #Fun that people are having. i love you having fun. if i don’t like it or if anyone else doesn’t like it they can just Cope #instead of hateposting about it on main and indirectly bullying people who are most likely children. or lgbt. or both #anyways. please continue doing whatever you want. The world is your oyster and you only live on earth once #everyone else can fuck off

37 notes · View notes

nonuggetshere · 3 months

Text

GOD I HAD AN IDEA AS I WAS FALLING ASLEEP TODAY

About FaaF naturally

A sad one, TW fir near child death and harm

Involves Xero's attempt at an assassination, or it could be literally just any guard controlled by the Radiance

PK and WL need to talk about something private, and WL looks at the tiny vessel tagging along by her wyrm's side

"Should it be here?"

"It wouldn't understand anything anyway."

"Still, it's...a little..."

He sighs lightly, "Yeah, I get where you're coming from... Vessel, come here."

He kneels down and orders them to sit by the door and wait for them while they talk, says he'll come pick them up once they're done and not to move, then the two go to talk on the balcony and close the door behind them

At some point, Xero/the guard bursts in and attacks PK in the middle of the conversation, managing to take them by surprise and so gets one good swing in before PK darts away and retaliates, pinning them down with soul blades, though he has to keep his wife from killing them on the spot - he doesn't want to be so hasty, knowing they're infected and not themself. He pulls out the sword from his chest and that's when they realise, it's covered in void...

Child harm/near death TW beyond this point

After a moment of shock White Lady, who's closest to the doors, runs out and all her husband can hear is a horrified, heartbroken scream. He feels nauseous, his stomach twisting into knots and feeling like his heart is in his throat as he runs out after her. He sees her in tears, cradling a tiny bundle soaked in void. There's- there's so much void. It covers the floor where he left their child vessel and soaks through his lady's shawl and clothes as she cradles them in her arms.

For a moment he's paralysed, before he just snaps. He flies back onto the balcony, screaming at the possessed guard that he'll kill her, he'll make her pay for this, and he slays them in his rage (something he'll regret and feel ashamed of later), still hitting and screaming at Her well after the possessed person is dead and she can't hear him anymore.

He collapses, panting, near tears, and just gets himself up and stumbles out the door and towards the two, he wants to see how bad it is for himself.

Flower survives, but just barely. They had multiple stab wounds and lost their left arm, if not for their parents immediately healing them they'd be dead. They're barely older than 5, still so very little and defenceless, PK is horrified at how could anyone hurt a baby this young and helpless (hypocrite), even if they're not alive.

They're still on bed rest because that was so much damage and their mother doesn't leave their side and their father only leaves when necessary. They still don't realise Flower's alive and they know they shouldn't be so attached but it still feels like their baby and they can't just leave them. WL spends the entire day by their side, gently stroking their hair and horns with her now permanently void stained hands and softly coos and sings to them

Of course, they quickly realise they ARE alive because no way in hell a toddler is getting this hurt and NOT crying and screaming the second they wake up <3

Which just makes this situation so much worse

#thylacines can talk #faaf au #mentions of child harm and near death in tags too btw #so dont read further if its something youre sensitive to or cant handle rn #i like to write him as more sympathetic in faaf but i cant state enough what a gigantic hypocrite he is #pk: How can you hurt a child?! they're FIVE!#child harm cw #radi: ...dude.#dont make your kid a child soldier but also you cant 'all fair's in war' your way out of stabbing a toddler radi #unrelated tangent but they both suck and god i need to focus some more on FaaF Radi. Ik this AU at times feels like sympathetic PK and evil #villain Radi AU but it's really not. They're both morally grey and while Radi is a bit more. questionable and less sympathetic imo. doesnt #mean shes completely evil. they're both meant to be morally grey and both did equally horrible irredeemable shit that they come to regret #and wish to fix. ik it doesnt come off this way at times because i have my things i prefer to write at times and this AU was always a #relationship dynamic exploration between Flower and all different characters. but neither PK nor WL are by no means forgiven. Most of their #kids range from ''i literally dont care about you you are not my parents dont contact me again'' to ''i hate your guts''#with sometimes an added flavour of ''And I WILL murder your ass if I see you again'' for some of them #(Razor my beutiful wife with unchecked anger issues <3)#sorry if the tags are incomprehensible it is 5 am and i instantly forget anything i write the second i cant read it fully #once i finish writing a tag and it collapses the contents of it instantly leave my short term memory. im not being dramatic btw the amount #of times i have to back out from editing tags to read them back bc i forgot what i wrote is annoying

11 notes · View notes

shieldwife · 5 months

Text

I need the hunger games to go back to no longer being relevant to most people because I keep getting genuinely heated over other people's opinions on a ya series and it's embarrassing

#STOP TREATING THINGS THAT I KNOW ARE JUST POPULAR FANON AS CANON PLEASE #I CAN LITERALLY TELL YOU WHERE HALF OF THESE THEORIES AND TROPES COME FROM OH MY GOD #BECAUSE THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A YEAR SINCE I WAS 10 THAT I'VE BEEN NORMAL ABOUT THE HUNGER GAMES #AND IT'S SO INCONSEQUENTIAL BUT SHUT UP ABT FOUR NOT BEING A CAREER DISTRICT!!#IT'S CAREER STATUS IS ESSENTIAL TO KATNISS'S REALIZATION OF WHO THE REAL ENEMY IS!!#and also you know. Finnick and Annie being much more interesting characters if they're careers and had to unlearn their indoctrination #as I know I've complained about on here before lol #also just bad interpretations of parts of tbosas #and the obvious misogyny when it comes to how some characters are treated like Cato vs Coral in the movies #like I know most of the Cato bitches only liked him bc they found his actor attractive #and them genuinely hating a similar character played by a woman (who is not traditionally feminine)... girl. I see what's going on #and I hate being annoyed by it bc it doesn't matter. but I literally am and it sucks lol

10 notes · View notes

possibly-eli · 3 months

Text

once again posting a reminder (very gently, when you consider how fucking frustrated i am) that i am anti-kff! there are otherkin terms that people can use and, instead of educating themselves on this, they actively CHOOSE to belittle and bully otherkin folks, all while being a teensy tiny little bit ableist in how they go about it. its not a "erm these people are just minding their business and they're ALSO kin anyway" NO they are NOT. they are, by very fucking definition, either 'hearted or 'link (IF their connection is genuine ANYWAYS). that is NOT. KIN. and its kinda fucking telling if you think a community whose entire existence hinges on deliberate ignorance and harassment of a group is equal to the group theyre harassing and bastardising the terms and experiences of

#am i making ANY FUCKING SENSE #i swear to GOD #"dni antikin (this includes anti-kff) no the FUCK it does NOT #because kff ISNT. KIN #JESUS FUCKING! CHRIST!!!#kff “kins” are LINKTYPES and HEARTTYPES most often (again. if theyre not just being hashtag quirky on the internet)#also please please fuck off if you use the word “k/nn/e” i dont even care if you arent kff just. please go away #im stressed as balls man i dont like having to think about shit that stresses me out and annoys me but here i am! thinking about it!#this isnt directed at anyone btw i just keep seeing “omg this character is one of my biggest kins (kff)” and im so fucking tired of it #its mainly on tiktok anyways so im kinda shouting at air but fuck off #and like even when i see other ACTUAL otherkin/nonhuman/alterhuman folks say “oh yeah i 'kin' this character for fun”#it makes me so aggressively uncomfortable cause just. use 'link' man #use 'click' or 'heart'#stop Doing That cause thats not a fucking kintype and you are contributing to the problem (though minorly compared to other stuff)#theres also this one server wherein people would act and talk about their hearttypes as if they were kintypes despite outright saying -#- THEMSELVES “oh yeah this is a hearttype”#do you know what a fucking hearttype is?#are you stupid?

7 notes · View notes

boxwinebaddie · 4 months

Note

im OBSESSED with the idea of wlw tsot style truly genius wow

AHAHAHSAKHSDKHD!!!!! thank you, bestie! i love being a Genius!

jokes aside, last night, i was looking at the tsot concept, like really thinking hard, squinting at it like....whyyyyy....don't i like this? because idk, i personally think the tsot plot premise was badass, but maybe i am delusional, lmao -- that tracks for me. but deadass, i was like why am i not attached to this for some reason also?

...for some reason, the tsot style was never that enticing to me as a writer? and i thought it was because it was too complicated bc of the high fantasy elements...bc despite me masquerading as a genius i am a Fooking Imbecile like i am a court jester, the town FOOL...smh.

-- or even that it was...too sweet and wholesome for me??? because stan is so devoted to kyle in tsot and they are so in love. they're so cute? which is wonderful and all but i am an Angst Girlie, not in terms of reading fanfic ( yes, i do think its ironic that i write multi chapter slowburn style fanfics and only like to read fluffy oneshots where they get together at the end bc i'm impatient & cannot burn in hell )

tHEN THE SNOW DAY TRAILER CAME OUT AND I WAS LIKE????? EVIL STAN???? HEEEEELLLLOOOOOOO!!!!!! i am OBSESSED. that was an insane choice, i was so feral and i was like i need to write morally corrupted stan it's my duty as an angst queen -- which, you guys, i really think i was meant to write angst and hurt/comfort bc i was writing that lil ravesey drabble and i was like Levitating w/ energy i was so stoked omg i was having a BLAST...i love u, angst.

aN-KNEE-WAYZ! i developed that weird idea/tsot concept and i personally was fucking with it but i was still...not completely happy? and i couldn't tell why and it was pISSING ME THE FUCK OFF????

but now it makes sense...bc they are...Women, lol.

( okay, its uncle nina tsot idea info dump time! if you are rocking w/ me, ur welcome under the cut, please enjoy ur ncu toxic yuri <3 )

P.S. THIS IS VERY LONG -- VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED!

so i think stan...goes by stas? in the tsot universe. that just makes sense to me, i also don't want to get confused bc i've written style as boys for so long if i keep calling stas stan it will make my brain hurt. SO STAS, LOOOOL!!! which i think is short for...anastasia?

or something weirdly hyper feminine and stas hates it to death, also stassie or stasia is still 2 girlie, so she is kind of also not rocking w/ those...i like how gender neutral stas is. let me know if its not cute.

bUT ANYWAYS AGAIN!!! this post is really unhinged, it's 3 am where i am rn and i am being so crazy, i woke up being really insane abt this. so stas works at her family's inn to help her mom out w/ everything because shelley is kind of a hater and randy is...a menace to society. like when i say stas has to pull that waste of a man out of the tavern oR LIKE THE BROTHEL???? HELLO??? every goDDAMN NIGHT??? shes so mad. especially since he keeps BORROWING MONEY THEY CANT PAY BACK BC RANDY IS SPENDING IT ALL???? AND THE LOAN SHARKS ARE ABT TO FUCKING KILL ALL OF THEM?

eye...hate you so much, randy marsh. *stas vc* Burn In Seven Hells.

however, conversely, i do love stas, WHO IS AN IIIIICON!!!! a bicon if you will, she do be...lying awake having iMPUre thoughts of lying with women oodsfjodosjfpsojf, sins of the flesh lMAAAAOOOO!!!! down so bad like please get A LIIIIFE!!!!!! which she's like Trying, i see you baby!!!! but you know, she has to wear a dress ( she did steal her dads pants bee tee dubs bc its hard to run around in a long ass dress, she truly hates that shit bc its inconvenient as hell, smh ) but yeah she do be drinking plifered ale with the boys and having the worst posture and freaking burping the alphabet and being DISGUSTING????? when i tell you stas is so disgusting...smh. she is giving bean from disenchanted if anyone has seen that show like really and truly. xx

which is SO FUNNY???? because, like all my ncu stans, stas is an uncanny level of beautiful like SSSOOOOOOO PRETTY??? like it is truly INSANE, men be OOGLING her which ew so Much!!! bc A Scurb Is A Guy Who Thinks He's Fly But IS ALSO KNOWN AS A BUSTAAA!!! i think like ravenstan pre!rm boys were just kind of weirdly obsessed w/ her and trying to ask for her hand in marriage all the time like belle from beauty in the beast and she was like ahhhh hell nah KHDSLd.

also, working at the inn she has to deal with tHE MOST ANNOYING FUCKING MEN IN THE WOOOOORLD!!! they are like "you! tavern wench! fetch me some ale!" and she's like pls go fuck yourself but she's also So Nice like all my stans so she's like...Of Course, Sir.

maaaan, W!H!A!C!K!

i think like knights and stuff come and go staying at the inn and she's just like...sigh...that's so fucking COOL, wish that were me! LAME!!! like she literally is not allowed to fight bc SHES A GIRL!!! SO WHACK! she does have dreams abt it...like she does abt women and temptations of the flesh...stas...whack off or something, my GOD!!! nasty girl behavior, i am fucking crying, i love girl failure stas. Based.

i think she secretly kind of works down at the forge with tolkiens dad, btw, i think tolkiens name is...tolkien...blacksmith? lol so much guys. also !~ala pep~ they do still have a crazy rivalry...love my life. i think there is DRAMA during the Challenge Of Champions abt kylie. WHO STAS DOES NOT LIKE RIGHT AWAY BUT I DIGRESS!!!

so stas helps down at the forge bc she thinks swords are so cool. like she is obsessed and i think she makes a lot of armor and swords and stuff but she's not allowed to use them, obvi...and just has to hand them off to idiot men who should Go Die In A War lmaoooo!!! and it sucks so bad...her handiwork is beautiful, btw. i think she's made some shit that ended up at the broflovski castle they just Don't Know.

i am...talking abt this too much when i tell you i got Really Into It. so the RUFFIANS show up and they're abt to kill stas’ family but they give stas One More Day to come up with the money so she rides off ON SPARKY!!!! I LOVE YOU HORSE SPARKY!!!! to the disgraced high wizards castle who obviously...thinks stas is fucking pathetic and is like i quite literally do not give a fuck...ur whole family can choke? and is going to kill her but then...realizes stas is EXTREMELY GIFTED with the sword and is like...hm...i can use you. ;))))) lmao and stas basically has no choice bc if not they will literally slaughter her fam.

soooooo stas basically she ends up enrolled in the Challenge Of Champions which is literally so fucked??? like everyone is about to die, if i end up writing the fic, it's gonna be BRUTAL and very bloody and horrifying, just fyi, so sorry. also stas cuts her hair hella short to pass as a boy and there is a very iconique mulan-esqe montage of her stealing her dads clothes and kissing sharon on the head and riding off to an uncertain fate...leaves a crytic note or no warning? its very depressing stas...loves sharon so bad, she misses her mom. :(((

also i think when she rolls up and is in the camp w/ all the other challenge of champion competitors and contestants, they are like...so what is ur name and shes abOUT TO SAY STAS BC SHES SO FUCKING STUPID LOL I HATE MY LIFE and is like st---aaaaaan??? LOLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!! and does the medieval version of the nervous bisexual finger gun jazz hand combo i am in PAIN. and they are like...okay? i guess? weirdo? they do think stas is so weird that whole time, she does have a lot to prove AND SHE DOES BITCH!!!! they respect the hell out of her later bc she is WIPING THE COMP, BABY!

which, speaking of stas passing as a boy...i actually do not think she is trans like ravenstan is? i think she is just Really Masc? and likes a lot of traditionally masculine activities and having short hair and doesn't reject the idea of being a woman but thinks its stupid that She personally gets rejected and is not allowed to do things she likes because they reserved exclusively for Men! stas vs. the patriarchy! listen i think raven would fuck w/ stas so heavy she would Scare Him though, like she is Powerful for a human.

i do think she is lowkey ripped like....HEEEELLLOOOOO???

kylie get ur jaw off the floor bestie!!!! STAND UP!!!!

running joke in tkak, i think, that everyone is like...squints...u know u are...like very beautiful for a man? you are kind of the most beautiful man i've ever seen like you are honestly pretty enough to be a girl? and she's like...ahsshahhaa thank you? my mom does tell me i'm kind of like having a boy daughter sometimes...ALSO THAT MADE HER SO DEPRESSED BC SHE WAS THINKIN ABOUT SHARON AND SHE WAS LIKE WHAT FUCK I HATE IT HERE bc i think sharon thinks shes dead or something bc she rode off & just disappeared completely?

okay, moving onto kylie...i am OBSESSED with her also!!! i got a little less on her, but stas is kind of the protag rn so it makes sense? but so when i was developing tkak At First, i gave ky...Reeeeally Long Hair bc i am obsessed w giving kyle really beautiful curly long hair ( jersey my beloved please kiss me on the lips ). she also ONLY has her hair up like for most of the fanfic? in REALLY ELABORATE hairdos?

like the handmaidens do her hair every morning and put that shit up and it does take forever which is suuuuch a pain in the ass ( yes kylie do be dummy thicc like actual kyle...i actually do not think stas has to bind tbh bc shes always in the armor and the really flowy tunic and riding pants and the boots w the short ass hair ( WHEN I TELL YOU SHE IS FINE I MEAN THAT LIKE PPL DIED!!! LITERALLY!!!! )

...she also has zero boobs i gave stan no ass and i think its only fair that stas has zero boobage...but when i tell you...oh my goodness oh my damn...kylie in the corset thing w her biddies pushed up to heaven...stas is abt to throw up constantLY!!!! DOOOOOWN SO HORRENDOUS LIKE PLEASE GO TO HELL!!!!! sooo funny. i have been laughing typing this whole goddamn ask meme, i'm screaming!

stas lying awake at night in a cold sweat bc Women...jaaaaaaail smh.

speaking of women, kylie is like 100% a lesbian like it just tracks bc all my kyles are super mega gay. people don't know about it, they only know that she hasn't taken a husband yet and that her dad keeps trying to set her up with these stupid ass idiot men from other kingdoms and she quite literally drives them away bc shes so SCARY. all my kyles are so scary, kylie is no exception like they call her the tempest bc she is literally so frightening. men run away screaming.

tbh gerald is so serious about her being princessy and hidden away in the castle...when i was developing tkak again and i gave ky the long hair and gerald was constantly having it put up with no exceptions like she is not allowed to be seen by anyone w her hair down? and i was like is it bc kyle...just has long hair and is kind of a little femme? idk? but LISTEN IT ALL MAKES SENSE TO ME NOW BECAUSE ITS ACTUALLY BC GERALD THINKS KYLES MERIDA HAIR IS UNBECOMING OF A WOMAN AND HES A MOTHERFUCKER AND MAKES HER CONFORM THE STANDARDS OF BEING REFINED.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! IS ANYONE ELSE SCREAMING???

oof...the day stas sees kylie w/ her hair down...the homoeroticy...its gonna be so crazy, the tension is going to be so intense omg.

okAY SPEAKING OF THE TOXIC YURI TSOT STYLE...they do hate eachother. kylie specifically hates humans bc sheila is dead in tkak..smh...she was also killed by humans...so kylie HATES humans. she is also really spoiled and coddled and Baby. and stas is tough and worked for everything in her life and is hard as a motherfucker i love you so bad stas...she's so cooooooolll!!! but yeah they bicker a lot. btw...kylie is short in the ncu tsot and stas is tall like i think there is a whole dialogue where stas is like i just never thought that the princess of all kingdoms who possesses all that power would be soooo....and kylie is like? enchanting? radiant? ravishing? beautiful? and shes like...Little. KHDLKHDSLK LOOOOOL IM CRYING HELP.

i am talking so much i'm so sorry guys but i said the tsot toxic yuri was like mulan and it so is...its also like Tangled, which are the two best disney movies which fuck you so much disney! free palestine!

but i digress again and i will explain myself because you know how i am; i do not put anything out unless i feel strongly about it. so kylie does not want to engage in ~Princessy Stuff~ mostly bc its whack and she is not trying to belong to a man like Property? but its also because...She Wants To Be A Doctor. <3333

i was thinking too hard about ship in a bottle kyle being the ships sawbones and pep kyle ripping stans throat open to save his life and i was like...doctor!kylie! but obvi...its very frowned upon...women cannot be doctors...Princesses Cannot Be Doctors. she also is nooot allowed to leave the palace bc of sheilas assassination, aaaaalso bc shes a woman...are we sensing a theme here? men suck.

but okay, so stas passes pretty well for a man...also her voice is really raspy and husky WHEEEW ONE CHANCE STAS!!! but obvi when kylie finds out stas is a girl, she says something funny like By Gods! By All The Seven Hells You Are Woman! and stas is like oooooooooofffffffff!!! pleeeease don't send me to the gallows i can explain ( she cannot explain she is supposed to kill kylies dad ) but kylie is like...i will let you live...Human Girl...on one condition...( stas is like u have to be fucking shitting me bc like this is the second time this shit has happened to her...smh ) anYWASAYS!!! kylie is like on one condition...u sneak me past the palace walls and let me see the outside world.

aGAIN STAS HAS NO CHOICE so she's like...Sigh...okay. and i think they have a wizard friend in the castle who charms kylie to look like a boy ( respectfully my ladyship she is so Well Endowed in the chest area and very femme so she cannot pass as a boy like stas can...rip so sorry ) so she can sneak out and not get caught BUUUT!!! the magic only lasts so long so she has to be back like within the hour? stas takes kylie to kupa keep at some point and its...very cute. pls clap.

LAST THING THIS IS THE VERY LAST THING I SWEAR YOU GUYS! so it's called to kill a king bc stas is supposed to kill gerald and not kylie which...stas does avoid asking abt it later bc shes in love with her i hate my life...but its bc she cannot ascend the throne bc shes a girl. again, i hate everything. choke and die gerald. WHICH WITH ANY HOPE!!! HE WILL!!!! MAYHAPS! but cartman is like nahhh i do not rlly care abt killing her she's not a threat?

but then she IS A THREAT bc she's getting in the way of the assassination attempt and stealing the piece of the stick of truth cartman needs to be all powerful and evil so cartman is like just kidding ur gonna have to kill her bestie, she's pissing me off. so he has stas...SLOWLY POISON HER??? w/ some kind of mushroom concoction that goes in her daily tea? and kylie is like oh! thank u stanley...but i think she knows stan is stas at that point bc theyre friends mayhaps...BUT ITS SLOWLY MAKING HER SICK. which is hard to notice bc its really slow to avoid suspicion, kylie is also super chronically ill...she has some sort of Illness the whole fic that makes her kind of weak and frail even tho her mind is strong to mimic kyles diabetes in sp? BUT OOOOOOF I HATE MY LIFE EVERYTHING SUX.

anyways for the 7934709324 time! STYLE TOXIC YURI!!!!

what do we think gayng??? are we rocking w it? *sweats*

-uncle nina, who has to stop coming up w/ crazy au ideas

p.s. i might...accidentally misgender stas and kylie or use stan or kyle by accident when answering questions...if i get them...bc i'm so used to my styles being masculine and boys. so if y'all could be patient with me, i'd really appreciate it bc *stas vc* I Am Only Human.

#I TALKED SOOOO MUCH ABOUT THIS #i went crazy stupid i fucking love the toxic style yuri sm #as a crazy bisexual bitch who wants a scary wendy testaburger gf this thrills me so much ( i fumbled airport girl so bad dont look at me )#i love stas and kylie so much #also i hope we like my weird stas name choice i refused to have her go by...*wretches* sh*n or sh*nnon bc its rm!stans deadname #actually hideous its also not that cute #i think stas is cute and also its four letters like stan <3 #fair warning she does have to go by stan like most of the fic which is whack but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do #which is assassinating the king of all kingdoms #and his annoying but mega fine daughter #when i tell u stas is down so bad like bestie my eyes are up here!!! i am crying she b losing her train of thought often #she do be getting whacked in the face by her lance and walking into walls STARING...go to jail stas...horny girl max security dungeon #BUT ANYWAYS DO WE THINK THIS IS COOL I THINK THIS IS SO COOL I AM SO FUCKING STOKED ON IT #me: BY THE GODS!!! WHAT IN SEVEN HELLS #i'm sorry if this was way too much information i got really excited i hope u are also hooked and excited #UNCLE NINA TSOOOOOOOOT

7 notes · View notes