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honneythatsgay · 3 years

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Representation matters

"Why are there so many gay characters in movies nowadays. It's not like we need them."

Maybe you, a straight cis white person don't need them, but many people do. And you may think you don't need them, but if you say it, the truth is, you do. You need to see them to realise, that other people might need seeing them to accept their own selves.

Growing up catholic, with no positive gay representation in media, I was homophobic. As a child, you don't think for yourself, espetially if the things that need to be filtered, are said by church, and as a catholic kid believes, by God. I didn't understand what I hated, I just knew it was bad. There were the bad gays, the gender ideology, the freaks.

I was a homophobic kid. When I liked someone, some band or celebrity, and then heared that they were at least rumoured to be gay, I stopped liking them, just because.

When at age 10, maybe 11, I realised I enjoyed looking at female actresses much more than at male actors, I told myself on and on, that I just wanted to look like them. I didn't like them, like other girls liked male actors, I just wanted to look like them. "Just look at her face. Don't let your eyes leave her eyes." I had to tell that to myself, when my eyes started wandering on their bodies. Liking girls is bad. Lesbian is a bad word. I'm not a lesbian. I can't like girls.

Now as a young gay woman, seeing all the representation, I find comfort in those characters. I look back at my childhood, and think that I'll never raise my children in that hypocritical church. I'll never let that happen to them. I'm still afraid of the Polish word "lesbijka". I don't think I'll ever use it. I don't even know if I identify with it. Because of growing up in the heteronormative world, I don't even know if I'm attracted to men, or if it's my internalised homophobia. The belief, that if I'm still attracted to men, that there's still hope for me to be normal. To fit in. For the homophobic part of my family, to not hate me.

"Why do gay people need to act so gay? Why do you need to make it your personality?"

For our whole lives, we keep building walls around ourselves. We create masks, to hide who we really are, in order to protect ourselves. We're never truly who we are on the inside. We grow up, creating false personalities, acting like we're not affected by everything that goes on around us. Until we fully come out, we have to live, like full time actors. Even when we come out to some people, there are still many we fear for to find out. For our whole lives, we have to smile, when people say hateful things about us, not even knowing they concern us. We have to nod and agree with them, because we're trying to protect ourselves.

We live in constant fear. Someone we don't even know, may be a threat, just because of who we are. People die, just because of who they are. Because of things they didn't choose.

So when we finally come out, when we're comfortable around someone, we act overly gay, because we can express ourselves, be who we are and not fear.

"Why do you care about those real life people so much. I understand if they were fictional characters, but why female football players? Why do you care about them?"

Fictional characters show existence of gay people. This representation matters. But there is no more important representation, than real life people. They show that no matter who you are, you can be happy. I care so much about their gay relationships, because they give me hope. Looking at them, I know that there is a chance. That you can find love. Looking at them, I feel more at ease. Like they were here to save me.

"Why do you spend so much time on social media?"

Because that's where my community is. No matter where I am, and where they are. When I see them, when I read their posts and talk to them, I know I have people beside me. I know I'm understood. There are people who go through similar things. People from whom I can seek advice. People who can be there for me, when noone else is. People whom I, can help if they need it.

When I'm on social media, I'm with my people. With people who don't judge me, and if they do, I don't care, cause I don't really know them. I can be judged and hated all over on the social media, and it'll never hurt as much as knowing that my own family hates who I am, even without knowing it.

"Why do you care so much about trans rights? Why do you care so much about black lives matter? Why do you care so much about matters, that don't concern you?"

They may not concern me, but I understand people they do concern. I, at least partially, understand the hurt they're going through. I know, that seeing other people care, helps. I understand how it is, when people who know nothing about you, decide your fate. I understand the fear of rejection and having your rights taken away.

So I want to help them. I want to make them feel better. I care about all people, I care that they're happy and feel as safe as possible.

Everyone should care.

Representation matters, because it makes you not feel so alone.

Representation matters, because it makes you realise you're not a freak.

Representation matters, because it gives you community.

Representation matters, because it shows people whom it doesn't concern, the hurt other people go through.

Representation matters, because it makes other people help.

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whitehotharlots · 3 years

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Previewing the 2024 Democrat Primary

Within a couple weeks of his being sworn in, just about every person on earth will wish Joe Biden was no longer president. Sure, the few surviving John B. Anderson voters will be thrilled to see 4 years of crushing austerity and half-assed attempts at Keynesian stimulus. But most people will begin dreaming about a brighter future.

Good news! The 2024 Democratic primary field is going to contain dozens of options. Bad news! They are all going to be disgusting piles of shit.

The “top tier”

While it’s too early to do any handicapping, these are the candidates the media will treat as having the most realistic chances of securing the nomination.

Kamala Harris

Kamala did not win a single primary delegate in 2020. This is because she dropped out before the first primary, and that was because no one likes her. She has no base beyond a few thousand of twitter’s most violent psychos. Her disingenuousness approaches John Edwards levels: any halfway incredulous person can see immediately beyond her bullshit. She has no principles whatsoever, and while that may be par for the course for Democrats, she lacks even the basic politician’s ability to intuit anything that might, hypothetically, constitute a principle.

Even better: she is an awful public speaker. She sounds like how a talking dog would speak if he were just caught stealing people food off the kitchen table. She communicates in weird grunts and faux sassy squeaks, which is how she imagines real black women sound like, but something about her is unable to sell the bit. She begins her sentences in halfhearted AAVE, stops and panics halfway through as she realizes that maybe this sounds fake and offensive, and then reminds herself oh wait, no, this is okay since I’m black. This doesn’t happen once or twice per speech. This is how every single sentence sounds.

Kamala is like Nancy Pelosi in that no sketch show will ever impersonate her correctly, because anything that came close to authenticity would be considered far too cruel. This might benefit her in the primaries, as she exists in the minds of Democrats as someone and something she absolutely is not in reality. Nominating her would be like allowing your child’s imaginary friend to attempt to drive you to the store.

Andrew Cuomo

Easily one of the 50 worst people alive, Cuomo has a solid chance because Democrats, same as Republicans, are unable to differentiate between electability and self-serving ruthlessness. Cuomo used the deadliest public health crisis in American history as a pretext for cutting Medicaid and firing 5,000 MTA workers, and his approval rating increased. New York Dems are little piggies who love eating shit. If we assume that the political media will continue their habit of refusing to discuss the legislative history of right wing Democrats, Cuomo might well cruise to the nomination and then lose to literally any human being the GOP nominates by an historic margin.

Joe Biden

The party loves him because he is a right wing racist. “Progressives” tolerate him because black primary voters over 40 supported him, and their opinion is supposedly a magic window into god’s truth. Everyone else can tell he is manifestly senile. I don’t put it above the DNC to pick a candidate who is in horrible health, dying, or even dead--whatever the financial sector wants, they’ll get. But I would be shocked if his approval rating is above 39% by mid-2023, and by that point deep fake technology will be advanced enough they’ll put out a very lifelike video in which the Max Headroom version of Joe explains he’s proud of his accomplishments--that budget’s almost balanced already--but, man, I gotta abd--I gotta abdica--, uhh, I gotta, I, uhh, I gotta move down, man.

Wild Cards

These candidates would have all have a chance if they ran, but they could all much more easily retire to Little Saint James off of kickbacks they’ve gotten from Citibank and I.G. Farben.

Rahm Emanuel

Rahm is going to receive some hugely influential post in the Biden administration. Let’s say he becomes Secretary of Education. His signature achievement will be replacing all elementary school teachers with Amazon’s Alexa, which saved the taxpayers so much money we were able to quadruple the number of armed police officers we put into high schools. This will give him several thousand positive profiles on network news programs and the near-universal support of the Silicon Valley vampires who will own 99% of the country by the time Biden’s term ends. They will use their fancy mind control devices to convince geriatic primary voters that Rahm’s the one who will bring Decency back to the white house. His candidacy will be the paragon of wokeness, as expressing concern toward the fact that he covered up the police murder of a black guy will get you called a racist.

Rahm has a bonus in that Jewish men are now Schrodeniger’s PoC. When they are decent human beings, they are basic, cis white men who are stealing attention from disabled trans candidates of color. When they love austerity and apartheid, they become the most vulnerable people of color on earth and criticizing them in any way is genocide. No one will be able to mention a single thing Rahm has ever done or said without opening themselves to accusations of antisemitism, and that gives him a strong edge against the rest of the field. The good news is that an Emmanuel candidacy would result in over 50% of black voters choosing the GOP candidate--which, I guess that’s not really good but it would certainly be funny.

Gavin Newsom

Newsom is every bit as feckless as Cuomo, but he doesn’t put off the same “bad guy in an early Steven Segal movie” vibes. He will mention climate change 50 times per speech and no one will bother to mention how he keeps signing fracking contracts even though his state is now on fire 11 months of the year. If anything, this will be spun into an argument about how he’s actually the candidate best suited to handle all the water refugees gathering on the southern border. Look for his plan to curb emissions by 10% by the year 2150 to get high marks from Sierra Club nerds. He’s also a celebate librarian’s idea of what constitutes a handsome man, so he’ll have some support from the type of women who claim to hate all men.

Larry Summers

I mean, why not? Larry, like most members of the Obama administration, has politics that are eerily similar to those of Jordan Peterson. In normal circumstances, this makes a person a dangerous fascist who should not be platformed. But if that person has a D next to their name this makes them a realistic pragmatist who has what it takes to bring suburban bankers into our tent. If current trends in Woke Phrenology continue apace, Larry’s belief that women are inherently bad at STEM will be liberal orthodoxy by 2023, and his dedication to the Laffer Curve could see him rake in massive donations. Seriously, I’m not kidding: cultural liberalism is now fully dedicated to identity essentialism and balanced budgets. Larry is their ideal candidate. If he were black and/or a woman, I’d put him in the very top tier.

Jay Inslee

Unlike Newsom, Inslee’s attempt to crown himself the King of Global Warming won’t be immediately derailed, since his state is only on fire because of protestors. This, however, poses a different problem. He’s going to be a good test case for the Democrat’s uneasy peace with the ever increasing share of the electorate who become catatonic upon hearing a pronoun. On the one hand, you need to take their votes for granted. On the other hand, they’re not like black people or regular gays: most voters actively, consciously despise wokies, and associating yourself with them will ruin a campaign even in deep blue areas. There’s still gonna be riots in a year. Biden’s gonna announce the sale of all our nation’s potable water to the good folks at Nestle and some trans freak named Sasha-Malia DeBalzac is going to use that as an opportunity to sell their new pamphlet about how it’s fascist to not burn down small businesses. No matter what Inslee does in response, it’ll end his career.

AOC

I’m not one of those “AOC is a secret conservative” weirdos, but I am aware enough of basic reality to know she has zero chance of coming close to the nomination. The right and the center both regard her as a literal demon. The party is already blaming her for the fact that a handful of faceless Reagan acolytes failed to flip their suburban districts even though they ran on sensible pragmatic proposals like euthanizing the homeless. The recriminations will only get more unhinged when the Dems eat shit in the 2022 midterms. She will be a Russian, she will be white male, she will be a communist, she will be a homophobe: any insult or conspiracy theory you can name, MSNBC will spend hours discussing. Her house seat challenger will receive a record amount of support from the DNC in 2024 and it’ll be all she can do to remain in congress.

Larry Hogan

Don’t be dissuaded by the fact that he’s a Republican. Larry is the DNC’s ideal candidate: a physically repulsive conservative who owes his entire career to appealing to the most spiteful desires of suburban white people. He’s an open racist in a material sense--if you’re old-school enough to think racism is a matter of beliefs and actions, rather than the presence of cultural signifiers--but his is the beloved “never Trump” style of racism that Dems covet. He’s also a Proven Leader who thinks the role of government should be to finance the construction of investment property and give police the resources they need to run successful drug trafficking operations. Few people embody the Democrat worldview more than Larry.

The Losers Bracket

These people will have at least a small chance due solely to the fact that the Democrats love losing. They have lost in the past, and in the Democrat Mind that makes them especially qualified.

Joe Kennedy

The man looks like a mushroom-human hybrid from a JRPG. Trump proved that physical hideousness need not doom a presidential bid, but a candidate still needs some kind of charm or oratorical abilities or, god forbid, a decent platform. Joe aggressively lacks all of these things. A vanity campaign would be a good way to raise money and perhaps secure an MSNBC gig, so Joe might still run.

Mayor Pete

I am 100% convinced that Pete’s 2020 run was a CIA plot meant to prevent working class Americans from ever having a chance of living decent lives. I am also 100% aware that Democrats are dumb enough to enthusiastically support a CIA plot meant to prevent working class Americans from ever having a chance of living decent lives. If we have some sort of military or terror disaster between now and 2023 the Dems are sure to want a TROOP, and wait wait wait you’re telling me this one is a gay troop? Holy hell there’s no way that could lose!

Stacy Abrams

Never underestimate the power of white guilt. She lost the gubernatorial race to Gomer Pyle’s grandson, and her spiritual guidance of the Dems saw the party lose black voters in Georgia in 2020. Nonetheless, she is regarded as a magic font of fierceness within the DNC. She might stand a chance if she can establish herself as the most conservative non-white candidate in the field, but there’s going to be stiff competition for that honor.

Elizabeth Warren

Liz is probably angry that the party so shamelessly sold her out even after she was a good little girl and sabatoged Bernie’s campaign for them--yet another example of high ranking US government officials reneging on their promises to the Native American community. Smdh. The fact that this woman hasn’t been bankrupted a dozen times over by various Wallet Inspectors genuinely astounds me. So Liz is probably going to run again, and her campaign will be even sadder the second time around.

It might surprise you to hear this if you don’t work at a college or NGO, but Liz diehards actually do exist. She’ll get even less support this time because there will be no viable leftist in the field for her to spoil, but she’ll still hang in long enough to make sure the very worst possible candidate beats out the second worst possible candidate. Maybe she’ll fabricate a rape accusation against Sherrod Brown. Maybe she’ll spend her entire allotted debate time doing a land acknowledgment. With Liz, anything is possible--so long as it ends in failure.

Amy Klobuchar

Amy was the most bloodthirsty of the 2020 also rans. She will double down on the unpopular failures of the Biden administration, explaining that if you weren’t such a selfish idiot you’d love the higher social security retirement age and oh my god are so such a moron you think you shouldn’t go bankrupt to get a COVID vaccine? There’s a non-unsubstantial segment of the Democratic base that’s self-hating enough to find this appealing, but it won’t be enough to make her viable.

Martha Coakley

She lost Ted Kennedy’s senate seat to a retarded man who was pretending to be even more retarded than he actually was. Then she lost a gubernatorial race to a guy who openly promised Massachusetts voters that he would punish them for electing him. Her record of failure is unparalleled, making her perhaps the ideal Democrat standard bearer for the twenty twenties.

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sanderssidesfanfiction · 3 years

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If There’s a Place I Could Be - Chapter Eighty Six

If There’s a Place I Could Be Tag

March 4th, 2003

Emile looked at the ring the jeweller had brought out for him to inspect. It was a little understated, just a silver band, no diamonds or other gems or even a stone put in. “Are you sure this is the one you want?” the jeweller asked. “I know you have the money, Mister Thomas, and most girls, even if they don’t say anything, prefer something they can show off to their friends...”

“It’s perfect,” Emile said, nodding at the jeweller. “Don’t worry. I know my future fiancé, he’ll love it.”

“Of course, I didn’t mean to imply...”

“Don’t worry about it,” Emile said with a kind smile. “My guy’s just that sort of special. Ring this up and we’ll be good to go.”

May 5th, 2003

Emile was absolutely certain that if Remy weren’t so stressed, he would propose right here and now, just to try and capture the perfect smile on Remy’s face for the entire rest of the day. Remy had opened the doors of Sleep Easy that morning to find a line that was wrapping around the block and the relieved grin he had on his face as he told everyone working there to get ready was something Emile would never forget.

Toby had taken a couple pictures before Remy went back behind the counter to help out, and Emile felt at the ring box in his pocket. He wanted to ask regardless of stress, but he needed to find a quiet moment.

Emile and Toby were currently sitting in the back of the shop, at one of the tables. Emile was fiddling with his hands and glancing at Remy periodically. Toby sighed and propped his head up on one of his hands. “Okay, Emile, spill the beans. What’s got you so worked up?”

Glancing at Toby before going back to look at Remy, Emile shook his head. “It’s nothing,” he said absentmindedly.

“Either you tell me what’s up or I call Remy over here,” Toby threatened. “Because you’re looking at him like he has a bomb strapped to his chest.”

Emile tore his eyes away from Remy long enough to check if Toby was serious. And he was. “You have to promise not to tell Remy,” Emile said.

Toby gave him a look. “You don’t have a ring box, do you?” he joked.

Emile sighed and pulled out the small box from his pocket, placing it on the table. “Wait, no, I was joking!” Toby exclaimed in a hushed whisper. “Oh my god, you seriously have a ring?! Are you planning on asking him today?”

“Potentially, if there’s a quiet moment,” Emile said. “But I’m starting to suspect there won’t be.”

“Yeah, no, people just keep coming,” Toby said, eyeing the front door. “If I were you, I’d wait for a moment where Remy isn’t serving customers,” he said. “Maybe propose tonight, after the shop closes, if you do it today.”

Emile glanced over at Remy, who was talking to a woman intently over a display of cookies. “Seriously?!” Remy exclaimed, loud enough to capture both Emile’s and Toby’s attention.

The woman laughed and nodded. She passed him a card which Remy eagerly pocketed and shook the woman’s hand. Emile and Toby glanced at each other. “What was that about?” Toby asked.

“I have absolutely no idea,” Emile said.

Remy came over to the two of them, and Emile quickly hid the ring box back in his pocket. Remy, with a massive grin, slammed his hands on the table. “Do you guys know who that was?!” he exclaimed.

“No?” Toby said. “Enlighten us?”

“She’s a reporter for the local paper,” Remy said in an almost-conspiratorial whisper. “And all the commotion from today caught her eye. She said that if I can keep interest for the rest of the month, she’ll do an exposé on the shop!”

Emile blinked, before breaking into a grin. “That’s amazing, Rem! I’m so proud of you!”

Remy beamed.

“Emile took the words right out of my mouth,” Toby said. “I have no doubt that article will happen. Who knows, maybe it’ll lead to more business and happier roads ahead!”

Toby glanced at Emile and Emile instantly got the meaning: save the proposal for the interview. And Emile couldn’t agree more with that sentiment. That would be the perfect timing, if there was one.

“Oh my god, if they ask me anything about my personal life, what do I say?” Remy asked, laughing. “I mean, I don’t think I should hide that I’m gay, but like...I pay a mortgage with Emile. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that we’re together.”

“I think you should be honest, Rem,” Emile said. “I mean, anyone who’d boycott the shop because of you being gay isn’t someone I’d want in my corner anyway.”

“True,” Remy hummed. “Okay. I’ll be honest. The shop shouldn’t go under because of it, most of the people here are open-minded. It’s a college town, after all.”

“It’s a college town, you’re an amazing person, and you make a mean cuppa joe,” Toby said, sipping at his coffee with a grin. “There’s no way you could scare off all the homophobes into ruining business for you.”

Remy nodded, smiling. “Thanks for being here, both of you,” he said. “It means the world to me.”

“Nowhere we’d rather be, Rem,” Toby said, and Emile agreed.

“Remy! We need you back here!” August called.

“That’s my cue,” Remy laughed, hugging Toby and kissing Emile’s cheek. “Talk to the two of you later.”

“Later,” Emile parrotted as Remy went back to the counter. “I’m definitely proposing during the interview,” he told Toby.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if Remy tried the same thing. He’s that extra,” Toby laughed.

“You know, you’re right, and I hate that you’re right,” Emile laughed. “We’ll wind up proposing at the same time, most likely.”

“He’s planning his own proposal?” Toby asked. “You guys didn’t agree that one of you would do it and leave it at that?”

“We made it a competition,” Emile laughed. “Loser has to kiss the winner.”

“How do you know who loses and who wins?” Toby asked.

Emile paused. “You know, I’m not sure we ever clarified how one of us would win when both of us are very clearly biased,” he admitted.

Toby laughed. “Oh, god. You two are both disasters. Like, I love you, of course, but you’re both disasters.”’

“Of course we are. To quote Remy, ‘If we weren’t such disasters we would have overthrown God long ago.’”

Toby cracked up. “Man, as a guy who’s still religious I’m inclined to agree with you. The two of you are unstoppable.”

“Throw in all the other gay disasters we know and it would be no contest,” Emile snickered. “God, Theo would love to overthrow a major religion like that. I’m pretty sure Clara would fret over us and make sure to bring victory snacks, Xavier would welcome our new gay overlords...it would be quite the sight.”

“Let me know when it happens, because I very much want in on the being a priest to you guys,” Toby laughed.

Emile snickered. “Oh, we’re both going to Hell.”

“No doubt,” Toby agreed.

They looked over to where Remy was working, and Emile sighed. “I do worry about him, though. He works hard, but there are days where I know he’d rather relax but can’t.”

“A tip that helped me in the old days with that: warm chocolate milk,” Toby said. “Don’t know how well it’ll work for you, but it always conked him out as a child. Now, it might not make him sleep, but it would at least be a bit of nostalgia.”

“That’s adorable,” Emile said, grinning.

“There were times where he wouldn’t even accept it from Mom or Dad because ‘Toby makes it the bestest,’” Toby said with a grin. “I love my little brother to the ends of the earth, but I suspect he loves me more.”

“He finds people who love him and he never lets them go,” Emile said with a sad smile. “I wish the reason he did that wasn’t there, but then again, without everything he went through, he wouldn’t be the man he is today.”

Toby furrowed his brows and Emile winced. “Uh, he doesn’t let go of people who love him because he’s worried that if he does they’ll just leave him when they get bored. So he works to make sure they’re never bored of him.”

“Oh,” Toby said. It was strangled, and there was so much shock and anger in that one syllable. “I would strangle our parents if I could get away with it.”

“Make sure they don’t have any more kids and we’ll call it a day,” Emile laughed awkwardly.

“God, I hope they don’t screw up as grandparents,” Toby breathed. “Like. I don’t intend on being a dad. But Vanessa...wants kids. She’s wanted kids since she was a kid. And if they ever have to stay at their grandparents’...well, I’d rather take them for a night than leave them there.”

“Frankly? I don’t blame you,” Emile said.

“You’ve met them, haven’t you?” Toby asked.

“I’ve met your mother, and frankly, I don’t even need to meet your father to understand the bulk of Remy’s trauma, and yours,” Emile said simply.

“M... my trauma?” Toby asked.

“They hurt you too, Toby,” Emile said. “That qualifies as trauma.”

“Oh,” Toby said, leaning back in his seat. “It’s different when it’s someone else. Like, yeah, Remy got really hurt by them, so I don’t blame him for using the term. But knowing that the term applies to me is...different.”

“It’s more personal,” Emile filled in. “And it’s scary. But it’s something that can definitely be worked on.”

“At least there’s hope,” Toby said with a weak smile.

“Exactly,” Emile said, pointing at Toby with a grin. “And if you ever need any recommendations for looking for a therapist, hit me up. I’ll see what I can do.”

“I might have to take you up on that,” Toby said with a shaky breath. “The holidays are a massive...what did you call it? A massive stressor. But I could probably find a use for one outside the holidays, too.”

Emile nodded. “At least you recognize it. Remy’s been really stressed lately but seems determined to stick it out on his own. I worry about him more because of that.”

Toby shrugged. “Sometimes he needs time to come around to a concept. Give him that time, and if you ever need help, drop me a line. I know how to talk to him too.”

“Do you ever use rationality on him, and does he get that grumpy almost-pout when you do it?” Emile asked with a knowing grin.

“Oh my god, yes!” Toby laughed. “And then he comes up with worst-case scenarios that both of you know wouldn’t happen, just out of stubborn spite at the fact you’re using logic?”

“And forces you to come up with a plan for what happens if you fall into a pit of invisible snakes!” Emile continued. “Oh yeah, we’ve had those talks.”

“God, I love him,” Toby said, shaking his head fondly. “Of course, to you, that scenario probably just indicates how much of an anxiety disorder he has.”

“I try not to diagnose people I know,” Emile said. “Not only because I don’t have my degree yet, but because my emotions can get in the way of a diagnosis if I get too close.”

“That’s smart,” Toby said.

“That’s therapists’ standards,” Emile said simply.

The two of them sat in companionable silence for a minute, before Toby spoke again. “I really worry about him, all jokes aside. Like, we can go for months without talking and pick up where we left off, but...those months in between when he doesn’t talk to me...they can get scary.”

“I know what you mean,” Emile sighed. “There are nights where I wake up with cold sweats from nightmares that Remy never dropped out of college and I went to his room one day to see that he’d hung himself. Fortunately, I wake up next to him to know he’s alive. I know you don’t have that luxury.”

Toby shook his head. “That’s when I usually call first thing the next morning...on the bad days. I can never get back to sleep but I wait until it’s seven before I call because I know you guys have sleep to catch up on. You don’t need to listen to my crazed, nightmare-induced ramblings.”

“I’d listen,” Emile said.

“Really?” Toby asked skeptically.

“Of course,” Emile said, turning to look at Remy, serving coffee with the biggest grin on his face as the customer complimented the store. “That’s what family does for each other.”

#if there's a place i could be #sanders sides fanfiction #remile #emile picani #ts sleep

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notribs · 4 years

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hello hello ! it is may again and i... am still 20, using she/her, and in the eastern standard timezone. i can’t say that’s changed in the amount of time between intros. anyway, i do want to say that i like this gif because i feel like it.............. is an accurate representation of ribs at........... almost all times.

‹ TREVANTE RHODES, HE/HIM, CIS MAN, BISEXUAL. › DAVID “RIBS” SHAFFER is the TWENTY-EIGHT year old from EMERYVILLE, CA. when a friend asked them what they thought of the manor they said, ❝ IT LOOKS LIKE SOMEWHERE JAMIE LEE WOULD BE LURED INTO. ❞ they claim ANY HORROR MOVIE WITH JAMIE LEE CURTIS IN IT is their favorite scary movie, and if they were to die in a horror film they would EXPLAIN TO THE KILLER THAT THERE WAS NO WAY HE MET THE CRITERIA FOR THE ‘FINAL GIRL’… JUST TO BE KILLED IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS SPEECH. their fears include HALLUCINATING, PARALYZATION and FIREWORKS, and they don’t know we know, but… HE MADE MONEY AS A DEALER WHILE HE WAS STILL WAITING FOR THE BAND TO TAKE OFF. hope they enjoy their stay. ‹ MUSE B from STRESSED OUT. ›

QUICK FACTS:

full name: david “ribs” isaiah shaffer

date of birth: december 1, 1992

*does not perfectly reflect the below Big Three zodiac chart because that’s so much math

zodiac big three: sagittarius sun, capricorn moon, pisces rising

gender & pronouns: cis man & he/him

sexual orientation: bisexual

occupation: drummer + backup songwriter + history of drug dealing

the song i listen to on repeat while i write the intro: “make or break” - bugzy malone

BACKGROUND INFO:

triggers: violence, mentions of drug dealing, very very very brief mention of self-harm (not the product of a mental illness which is why i forgot to include this until i looked at it again this morning - the product of wanting to keep a lie), very very brief mention of guns and fire in the ‘fears’ section

born to a very loving family bc i need a sunnier background hasfkljwas

david was never EVER academically inclined. he’ll tell you it’s because he just wasn’t interested and was too involved in music and boxing, both of which will be gone over soon, but that wasn’t entirely true. he was also very busy working odd jobs days and nights as a kid and days and nights at successful businesses when he was 16+ (see: papa john’s)

his parents did own a music shop! they were clearly doing their part! but, in the digital era and the era of guitar center, they were only getting so much traction. they were also much too calm about it, at least outwardly, so david felt as though he needed to help.

but it is true that he spent a lot of time practicing music and boxing! as just mentioned, his parents owned a music store and were both very musically inclined. they taught him how to be, at the very least, INTERMEDIATE at as many instruments as possible. he can now confidently say that, if the band ever needed it, he could play the guitar, piano, bass, or saxophone.

that being said, his instrument of choice was the drums. he began using jazz drummers, as well as various hip-hop beats, as his inspiration. his original inspirations were buddy rich, gene krupa, chico hamilton, art blakey, and the beats of grime and 90s rap.

it shows.

when he ventured into other genres, however, he began taking inspiration from nick mason, john bonham, neil peart, keith moon, ginger baker, karen carpenter, and ringo starr

(i have a music theory + history lesson for you if you think ringo is a bad drummer ok - he was a “songwriter’s drummer,” which is much more important to being a drummer in a band than being technically skilled or being able to show off with complex patterns and, thus, overshadowing the song. that’s why the beatles continued asking ringo to play the drums on their songs, even after they broke up. john lennon never said “he’s not even the best drummer in the beatles” - a radio dj made that joke and people started taking it literally. love that.)

(also the same goes for nick mason but his drumming is rly only brought up when he’s brought up since pink floyd isn’t as talked about as the beatles)

ALSO!!! i have decided to be passionate about karen carpenter because girl won a 1975 poll that pit her against john bonham for best drummer and he got so mad and said she couldn’t last ten minutes with led zeppelin. the following is just alleged, but oh my god i hope it’s true: then she proceeded to compliment his drumming, say that she thinks it’s all very subjective, then got behind her set and played “babe i’m gonna leave you” while singing and not missing a single note. we have decided to stan forever.

he also took up boxing. as a kid, he was just practicing and taking any excess frustration out. when he turned 14, however, he found an opportunity in an underground circuit. he started fighting against other people, for real, and would be paid if he won the fight.

so: school from 8a-3p, drum practice from 3:30p-7:30p (i know), family from 8p-10p, boxing from 11p-2a.

his parents knew he boxed, but didn’t know it was as dangerous as it was. they assumed there were more safeguards in place..... but boy was bringing in a LOT of money for there to be a lot of safeguards in place. because of this, david NEVER let them see his matches.

when he was 16, he’d broken his ribs during one of the fights and refused to see a doctor over it. what did he say happened when his parents could TELL something was wrong? he said that he’d been mugged and beaten up. to support this theory, before he ‘showed’ it to them, he dug into himself with a knife to make it look like the muggers had a switchblade.

from there on out, he made everyone call him “ribs”

did his parents ever wonder where his excess income was coming from? DEFINITELY. he told them that, yes, his MINIATURE matches did bring in some money, but the rest of the money came from tips!! because people are clearly that generous!!

he also never showed them the full amount. he’d only give what was necessary, not out of selfishness, rather to keep his secret and save them from worrying about him. he put it in a savings account.

it should also be addressed that, during this time, he became friends with who would become the guitarist in his future band, joakim. he witnessed joakim fight a homophobic teenager and desperately wanted to join in... but his ribs were broken ahflskd

he continued boxing, even after being introduced to joakim’s college friend, gabe - the future singer of their band. that being said, they began jamming with each other and played in a few local circuits.

his parents were very encouraging of this and told him that he should go for this as a career opportunity.

can you tell they were idealists?

he wanted to... but it was very impractical. by now, however, he was out of school (and he never went to college). his parents let him continue living with them since they were under the belief they were short on cash and it’d be difficult for him to find an affordable apartment under the papa john’s salary.

he decided to take his parents up on this... but, while he was waiting for his band to find success, their music store was closed down. as they both began looking desperately for new jobs, he realized that papa john’s and the fighting payment wasn’t quite enough anymore... so he started selling drugs.

he doesn’t keep his fighting a secret anymore, but he does keep his drug dealing a secret. he fears that it’ll perpetuate stereotypes.

during one of his band’s gigs, he and the others met their future bassist - the missing piece - rory. she was marginally younger than they were, but she was an extremely talented bassist and songwriter, so the lineup was finally complete and devil’s wine was formed.

when they began skyrocketing, he quit drug dealing. he also stopped the dangerous boxing, although he continues to... box safely. he began sending money back home after they really started succeeding. his mother got a teacher licensure in music and his father got the opportunity to own..... a guitar center.

if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.

VERY IMPORTANT: uses a pearl custom kit, istanbul cymbals, aquarian heads, and vic firth sticks.

that was very important.

PERSONALITY INFO:

literally obsessed with jamie lee curtis. watching her movies has also made him very genre-savvy.

would genuinely die for her.

is the epitome of bob belcher’s “oh my god.” in his band. they get off topic during practice/recording just ONCE?? queue “oh my god.” and the gif above.

isn’t necessarily ashamed of his past dealings (literally) - like, joakim knows - but is genuinely afraid of perpetuating the stereotype of the dirty black boy. he’s open about the rest of his life, but he’s convinced that if people learn he used to sell drugs, he would be setting people back. having a black drummer in a rock band that’s on the radio? he needs to keep up appearances!!

never wears shirts during concerts. has to show off his ribs and also drumming, with a bunch of lights directly on him, is an extreme exercise and guaranteed sweat machine. dresses like bugzy malone otherwise.

ahflskjd again,,, like adrian,,, look @ his chart ig alhkfjd

FEARS:

hallucinating: he hates not only the idea of losing his mind, but also the idea of having a skewed view of reality after he really... saw reality, you know? his uncle had schizophrenia and, while he rarely saw him, the thought of going through what his uncle had/has to go through terrifies him.

paralyzation: this was a constant worry of his during his boxing matches - he was terrified someone would wind up taking out a firearm and would shoot him into a state of paralysis. not to mention, all limbs are required for both drumming and boxing.... so.

fireworks: less deep than the others. the house next door to his was set on fire due to a firework display being too close. while no one died and most of the house was salvaged, the idea of losing anything he has is terrifying to him. also the sounds they make remind him of guns so?

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

ok,,, so unlike adrian,,, he lived in california,,, a state many other characters lived in. while some cities in california can be like,,,, seven hours away,,, IT’S STILL AN IMPROVEMENT, so i’ll list a few past connection ideas too!

fans

people who hate his music

people who’ve seen one of his matches

old friends

someone who was constantly in his parents’ music store

exes

fwb

ons

???? im bad at connections!!!!!! but im down for brainstorming and/or working off of urs!!!!!!

#manor:talk #will be updated when more is figured out w his subplot ofc!!

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aelinbitch-archive · 5 years

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You've probably said this before but what's your favorite aspect of the TOG series? I've only read like ten pages of the first book lol

aaaaa thank u for asking!! this sort of leads into something i’ve been meaning to talk about for a while so i hope you’re prepared for An Essay No One Wanted By Me. anyway this is a two-part answer, read below:

1. Aelin. Celaena. The main bitch, whatever you wanna call her lol. Without her I probably wouldn’t have cared about the series at all and wouldn’t currently be trapped in ToG tumblr hell reluctantly stanning a racist and homophobic series, but unfortunately when I was like twelve years old or whatever and read the first book I literally imprinted on Celaena like a baby duckling. To the extent that she became, like, the default avatar for all my maladaptive daydreaming and If I Don’t Project On Her At All Times I Will Die. It’s not like she’s the only thing I like about the series (I loooove a lot of the other characters, especially the gals, and the writing can be really great and engaging and cinematic) but Aelin has always been the supermassive black hole at the center of it all for me. I wouldn’t know how to even begin untangling her character from my psyche at this point. It’s honestly a little disturbing. Anyway.

2. Part two is a quality of the series that I feel was unprecedented in its strength in the first five books of the series (ToG-QoS plus the prequel novellas) and really really disappointingly weak in the last two books (EoS-KoA). Like I said above, Aelin has always been my main interest in tog so I read and enjoyed the last two anyway, but I definitely felt the loss of this - “this” being the detail and attention paid to all different types of relationships between characters, and how rich and unpredictable those relationships were as a result.

That sounds like kind of a broad, vague thing, but what I mean is that (in my opinion) rarely are romances and friendships and rivalries explored with such nuance, complexity, drama, and realism in most YA as they are in ToG. I remember reading Cassandra Clare’s books (lmao.) as a pre teen and loving those as well, but totally being able to predict who was going to end up with who, and finding the character dynamics to be pretty cut and dry.

In ToG that’s not the case at all. Like, you’ve got Celaena and Sam, a really complex example of enemies to lovers to….. Tragically Dead Boyfriend Whose Demise Fuels My Guilt and Self-Hatred For Seven More Books, Lysandra and Aelin, two girls pitted against each other by their abuser who team up a year later to unlearn their internalized misogyny and kill him, and Aelin and Chaol, who… how do I even describe the ups and downs (and downs. and more downs) of their relationship.

And that’s just three pairs! Pull the names of two characters out of a hat and I can almost guarantee essays worth of material could be written about them. Arobynn and Aelin? Aelin and Nehemia? Chaol and Dorian, as much as I hate both of them and feel that their relationship as been widely mischaracterized? All fascinating!!! No two people in those first few books are just friends, or just lovers, or just enemies. It’s always more complex, there’s always a history or tension or competing agendas or viewpoints that Fuck Shit Up.

And benefit of that is twofold: one, everything that happens between the characters just…. lands so well. The betrayals and triumphs and losses and victories of The Assassin’s Blade and Crown of Midnight and Queen of Shadows (especially TAB) are fucking heart-stopping. It’s great character-driven entertainment!! Gripping and engaging and vivid to the point of being painful.

And two, there’s no way to predict where a relationship is going to go. Aelin and Lysandra teaming up in QoS instead of returning to their rivalry? Who would have thought! Ansel and Celaena’s summer fling (they were in love. fight me.) ending like That? Holy fuck. Nesryn and Chaol breaking up in ToD? Oh shit! I fell for it again! Rowan and Aelin ending up together after everyone swore they were brotp in HoF? Hell yeah! Chaolaena seeming like endgame and then ending forever, with Chaol and Aelin realizing that the rift between them that began in CoM was something that would never sufficiently heal? Unprecedented. Fucking badass for a YA book to curve everyone like that. Tween me was shook out of her mind.

(Important to note, though, that the downside of this style was that SJM couldn’t tell where ~unpredictable relationships and characters~ ended and fridging began, and as a result, not one but two woc were killed off to make white characters sad and it sucked beyond belief).

Aaaaaand then QoS, the peak of literature, turned into EoS, and SJM just… gave up on all of that. I remember the first time Dorian and Manon met, and I was like oh, okay. So they’re going to end up together. And I was right. I remember that on this site, before EoS came out, before Lorcan and Elide ever fucking MET, people predicted the existence of Elorcan!! And they were right!! Like how fucking boring? Everyone is just paired off into completely predictable heterosexual ships and those are now the only relationships we get to read about (with a few exceptions, like Aelin/Aedion, Aelin/Fenrys, etc.).

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: my least favorite thing about Manorian is not that I find the relationship to be shitty (although I do, I really do). It’s that Dorian is suddenly the only character Manon gets to interact with in any meaningful way.

Like, are you kidding?! I want to read about Manon and Elide, Manon and Asterin, Rowan and Lorcan, Aelin and Lysandra, Aelin and Nesyrn, even if it’s not romantically (although some of them, like Manon and Elide, absolutely should have been, and the fact that not only was that ship very thoroughly sunk, but also they didn’t even get to TALK after QoS, felt like a real slap in the face to gay fans, but I digress), because those pairings previously had hella complexity and drama. But we don’t get to.

And this trend that’s so painfully present in the last two books Sucks for two reasons: one, every relationship that isn’t romantic (which were previously some of the most interesting ones) is abandoned so that more time can be made for The Hets™ and two, the relationships that are romantic, now the only ones left, are totally fucking boring and predictable!! If two characters are interacting at any point (if one is male and the other is female, of course) then you know for a fact that they’re not only love interests, but endgame.

And that makes me not care even when there is drama between them. Elide giving Lorcan the cold-shoulder for three hundred pages, and Manon and Dorian arguing, and Aedion being cruel to Lysandra weren’t compelling narratives to me like they should have been, because the whole time I was just thinking “but it doesn’t matter. I know it’s still endgame. There are no stakes here whatsoever; it’s a done deal.” Whereas Chaol and Celaena’s devestating breakup in CoM felt like (and was) suuuuper Real. An all-in bet on the wrong person. Crazy shit.

And not that I think two characters should never have a happy ending together (I really like rowaelin and nestaq and I would have loved malide!) but imagine how much cooler and subversive and entertaining it would have been if Elorcan, which seemed soooo totally cute and endgamey and borderline like fanfiction throughout all of EoS just ended forever right there and then on the beach, with Elide turning to Lorcan and saying “I hope you spend the rest of your miserable, immortal life suffering. I hope you spend it alone. I hope you live with regret and guilt in your heart and never find a way to endure it” - and BAM. She never speaks to him again. He’s dead to her.

I mean, talk about shock value! (See, Sarah, you can have shock value without killing of a person of color to make a white character sad 🙃). And I totally get that relational twists like that alienate fans more than just going the expected route and having them kiss and make-up does (I mean, the ending of Chaolaena in QoS certainly did, Jesus Christ) but I, Bella aelinbitch, personally live for that shit, and isn’t it only fair that all media cater directly and specifically to me? Lmao. But seriously, I do think it’s objectively more interesting, and that it keeps readers on their toes (I was on my ASS in EoS and KoA. Like. I was flat on my back sinking into the Earth).

And there are still sort of… glimmers of the old way she wrote in the first few books, but it just feels like a tease rather than something that’s really explored and indulged in the way it was before, and it just ends up being more frustrating (like what was the point of Manon and Dorian not getting married at the end of KoA if I would bet my life savings that in World of Tog it’ll be confirmed that they’re either married or still together) and sometimes downright problematic? Like to return to a previous example, I think all the drama between Aedion + Lysandra was a result of Sarah’s previous (good) instincts to shake stuff up and complicate the character dynamics, but it backfires because when they end up together, it’s not ever… worked out? Or addressed? If you create really intense drama between two people, then that needs to show up in their relationship, no matter how happy they end up together. It doesn’t just disappear.

And despite the fact that her understanding of that concept (that shit between two people doesn’t just disappear like magic) is one of my absolute favorite things about the first few books, Sarah even went as far as to use the last two books to retcon some of the original complexity away, which makes me want to rip out my hair!! Like Aelin at the end of KoA just going “Love you Chaol and Love you Dorian xoxoxoxoxox best friends forever!!!” instead of having, like, any type of mixed feelings about the way these boys treated her? I mean, come on! 100 pages earlier Chaol was openly saying she should die instead of Dorian! Why is everything just peachy-keen instead of fraught with tension!! (I know why. I know. It’s because she introduced way too many characters/POVs/storylines as the series went on and didn’t know what to do with them all besides sideline the nonromantic ones and pair off everyone else boy-girl boy-girl down the line). Or if it has to be peachy-keen, why is the peachy-keeness never critically examined as, perhaps, a repressive mechanism for Aelin to avoid dealing with painful truths from her past? Now that would be interesting.

(My ideal World of ToG would be just a transcript of the characters’ therapy sessions where Aelin realizes that her insistence that “Chaol and Dorian Are Her Friends!” is actually a way to keep herself safe emotionally and that she has plenty of reasons to hate them, and Lysandra realizes she should divorce Aedion lmao).

Anyway tldr: The variety, complexity, depth, and unpredictability of the relationships in Throne of Glass was simultaneously the most realistic (sometimes relationships of all kinds fall apart or veer off in unexpected directions and love is temporary and the boy you met in the first chapter isn’t actually your soulmate and it doesn’t mean he’s a villain) and the most gripping and dramatic (I would have been totally chill if maeve and erawan weren’t a thing and tog was just like a medieval soap opera, that’s how entertaining the character dynamics were) thing about the series, and to lose that in the last two books because of Heterosexuality (and introducing too many POVs and not knowing what to do with them all)…. kinda devastating.

This ended up being waaaaaay more complaining than it was talking about what I loved, but the only reason it bothers me so much is because it used to be so good!!! So just imagine the inverse of all the frustration I just vomited into this ask and you’ll have a good idea of how much I loved the series when things weren’t this way.

#im SO sorry for how shittily worded/ranty/emotional/long this is but *antoni from queer eye voice* a shitty YA series is actually something #that can be so personal...#greatest hits: hot takes

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singingvio · 5 years

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Hi, so I was wondering if you have any headcannons about the Links in your soulmate au you'd be happy to share (I'm really curious as to how they each react to meeting their soulmates and would love to hear your interpretations!)

Okay, so my soulmate AU is modern, just fyi. not canon Hyrule. my version of modern Hyrule. got it? good, now let’s get to the fun stuff you actually asked for!

this PARTICULAR soulmate AU is the one when a sentence shows up on your arm at 9:00 pm every day showing something your soulmate has said that day. you can have more than one, but it’s very rare and is frowned upon by a lot of people, but not all. when your soulmate touches your soulmark, it disappears and is replaced with their name.

under a cut because this is long.

- Green lives with his father (Who I have named Leon because reasons) happily. he’s popular, part of the student council, and best friends with the most popular girl in school, Zelda, who’s treated like a princess and apparently has royal blood. he was pretty well-liked by everyone, but didn’t really have any friends. and no one questioned why he kept his arms covered all the time.

- no one knew Green had two soul marks for a really long time, not even his father.

- when they found out, Zelda was fine with it, his dad was just disappointed that he hadn’t told him, and the suddenly the entire school seemed to turn against him because he has two soulmarks.

- Blue and Vio are twins that are CONSTANTLY pranking each other, from stealing each other’s stuff and hiding it and other classics (Blue’s kind of pranks) to “accidentally” putting orange hair dye in the other’s shampoo (Vio’s kind of pranks).

- Vio is very confused about what his soulmate says. one time his mark read, ‘of course it’s ketchup, what else would I use as blood?’ he finds it entertaining, however, and they always make him laugh. he carries around a small purple notebook filled with these sentences when he wants to either A, try to piece together who his soulmate is, or B, feel better about something.

- Blue is very proud that he has two soulmarks, and his general neighborhood is accepting, lucky him. he shows them off a lot.

- Shadow hides his soulmark, not because he’s embarrassed by it, but because 1, his father and mother were a bad match and broke up, and his father despises soulmarks, and 2, he’s often confused by the long sentences that sometimes cover his whole arm that he doesn’t feel like interpreting, so he just covers it up anyways.

- Red’s family throws him out of the house when they find out that 1, he has two soulmarks, and 2, from the sentences he finds, they can guess that both are guys and they’re really homophobic.

- this leads to Red getting on a bus, using he little money in his wallet, and eventually making his way to DUN DUN DUN, Blue and Vio’s house.

- they take him in, but right as Red was about to leave for some reason (I haven’t figured it out yet, but it’ll have something to do with self-doubt of self-dislike or something), Blue found out and grabbed Red’s right arm (the one with blue writing), and this words on his and Red’s arms changed to read each other’s names.

- BOOM! also, this is pretty much the point when Red’s self-hate and just people being mean to him ceases, partly because Blue and Vio become his soulmate and older-brother figure, and also because Blue would probably… hurt… anyone trying to harm Red in any way.

- including his parents

- Green then meets Vio at school. Vio had been home-schooled by his request, but his parents practically tossed him at Blue and Red (who had started living with them because PARENTS and SOULMATE ONE), saying he had to interact with people other than family.

- so Vio is the new kid. Green get’s some relief from the teasing and bullying, it being directed at Vio instead. Vio’s a little… strange, by other’s standards.

- the Vio is saved from some particularly mean bullying by a purple-haired kid.

- I’m guessing you know who it is. Shadow helps him up (Because Vio was pushed to the ground at some point) and you can guess what happens.

- Blue is very surprised that Vio came back from school with his soulmate, he didn’t think the introvert would find his so fast. he was NOT AT ALL surprised that it was a guy, though. it was really obvious, even if Vio didn’t directly tell anyone, that he was into guys.

- then the bullying focused back on Green because there is no God. (there are goddesses. HA!)

- Blue saw this kid hiding in the theater with his twin and soulmate, all three of them eating lunch together, and he decided to join them. because, twin, and Blue knows what was going on. hiding from bullies. he had found out that Shadow also got bullied a lot, because of his race. he was a Lorulian, and Hylians DIDN’T GET ALONG WITH LORULIANS.

- Blue accidentally touched Green’s soulmark. boom.

- then Blue’s like, “COME WITH ME I NEED FOR YOU TO MEET RED” leaving a confused Shadow and knowing Vio in the theater with Green and Blue’s abandoned lunches. which they proceed to eat because they are little devils.

so, yeah, that’s kind of it, I need to start writing this, since I told you the basic storyline already. you’re welcome! :)

#four swords #red link #green link #vio link #shadow link #blue link #poor red #it's okay though it gets better as soon as he moves in with the twins #Shadow also has a pretty bad life but also it's okay because he meets the twins #the blue/vio twins fix everything in this AU #woooo sibling teamwork!#zelda #(mentioned)

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transboygenius · 6 years

Text

Closet Case (Nick and Betty fic)

Nick Dean and Betty Quinlan walked into the Candy Bar establishment, hand in hand together like a couple. As a matter of fact, they were a couple. The two preteens only dated for about a week now, getting along perfectly fine. They even had fun, such as talking and holding hands, but so far they never kissed. The closest their lips had ever met was during their acting rehearsals for MacBeth In Space. These last couple of days haven't been so bad, like, Nick hasn't broke his leg while skating ever since. Jimmy and Cindy didn't seem to mind their relationship with each other, except maybe all of Nick's heartbroken groupies. Any of them would've had a chance with him, but of course, the prettiest girl in school got to him first.

Before they had became an item, every kid speculated that Cindy would be the lucky one. 'Fortunately, Nick never had any interest in Cindy at all. She was obnoxious, bratty, demanding, and physically harmful. From what Nick recalled a couple days back, he did witness Jimmy covered in ace bandages, with a very angry expressive Cindy walking besides him, on the day their little "date" took place. Breaking his leg every now and then is better than having Vortex as his girlfriend. The reason why Nick had always been nice to her was because his mother always told him to be a gentleman towards females. All the girls that swooned over him greatly annoyed him to a degree, but he'd never tell them to "piss off," or give any rude remarks.

Betty was more understanding, and respected his personal space. Aside from her questionable beauty, she was kind. Needs a little work on personality, but kind. If there's anything to contrast between Cindy and Betty, Betty can be beautiful and nice at the same time. That would explain Cindy's bitter jealousy. While Nick isn't exactly the nicest kid on the block, he's still someone you could easily make friends with. These two were a dynamic duo, based on how people looked at them. They were both good looking and popular. So far, that's the only things they have in common. If that's the case, what had started the relationship in the first place?

Nick and Betty sat at a table reserved for two, and Sam handed them their menus. Nick opened his and browse through the selections. He took a quick glance at Betty, who's still staring at him, and Nick gave a shy grin in return. He lifted up the menu so he could hide his face. Nick was nervous about the whole thing. No, it's not date jitters, it's not butterflies in his stomach, it's only the thought that he may be making a mistake here. This whole week, with Betty as his girlfriend, had been boring. All they do is talk, and nothing else. Rumors have been flowing that the more juicer stuff happens when no one's looking, but that doesn't happen neither. They don't flirt, kiss, anything out of romantic games. They do hug, however. Lucky for him, Betty never pressured him into those things, nor has she bothered asking. Maybe she's just shy. After all, Nick is her first real boyfriend, so she's not ready for anything physical.

Betty is a real sweetheart, and no boy would ever deny a date with her, but why does Nick feel so miserable? Their interactions are quite bland. They don't have any chemistry at all, just similar high standards. No matter how drop dead attractive Betty might be, Nick just doesn't feel it. The truth was Nick had no interest in Betty at all. The reason for this relationship in the first place was a different purpose, but that's personal matters. He could end it right now if he wants, but he wouldn't want to break Betty's heart. She seems happy with them being together. She believes they make a perfect pair. Whenever the two reunite with each other, Betty is the one to run towards him with opened arms, and then hug him like he was her only comfort zone. Being in his presence was ecstasy to her. There was nobody else she'd rather be with than him. She even told him at some point that he made her the happiest girl alive, even if their relationship was made up of the most simplest things but romantic. He's never seen anyone so happy.

He didn't wanna ruin any of that for her. He must continue being a gentleman to the opposite gender. But, if Betty's gonna be happy, what about him? Eventually, she will loose patience for that much waited kiss. If Nick keeps this up, for let's say a couple of years, they'd probably get married too. Imagine forcing yourself to settle with someone you didn't return feelings for. Could Nick continue to live like this just for Betty's own sake? On second thought, it's Nick's life, so he should decide how to live it. He needs to tell Betty, but let her down gently. Maybe she'll understand like any civilized human, maybe she won't. If she doesn't take it well, Nick swears on his grandfather's grave that he'll do anything to make it up to her. It could take months, and he wouldn't give up until she's completely over him. Maybe he could hook her up with another nice boy. Carl needs someone that isn't Neutron's mom. Just because Nick can be a jerk, doesn't mean he's a bad guy.

Their orders arrived to the table; a sundae and a milkshake. While Betty was spooning ice cream into her mouth, she noticed Nick just twirling the straw around in his drink, looking depressed, despite being happy moments ago. She asked if anything was bothering him, but however, Nick ignored her question. He was gonna break it to her now, but then regretted it afterwards. He fears that if Betty receives the news at this moment, not only will she be torn, but he'll have to live with guilt on his conscience. Thinking about it right now made him sweat. Betty hated seeing her current boyfriend like this, so she asked again. Nick just shook his head. Betty knew he was lying, so she tried one more time. Nick took a deep breath, but still refused to look direct eye contact with Betty. She's got him cornered. This is gonna take all day unless he says something.

"Betty, don't take this personal, okay? I mean, you have every right to be angry with me, and heck, you can even hit me if you like. I don't know how long I can live like this." "What are you saying?" "I don't think... ...I'm..." "Go on." "I don't think, I'm attracted to you. ...in any form."

Nick got his response alright, but not what he hoped for. She stood up, planted both hands on the table, then her voice carried across the room. It sounded like relief.

"It's about time you said something!"

The yelling caught everyone's attention, leaving the couple frozen. A public eatery isn't the best place to discuss this. To save them from any further embarrassments, Betty grabbed Nick's arm, pulling him with her out of the Candy Bar.

"YOU BETTER HURRY BACK AND PAY! YEAH!" Hollered Sam.

Betty took Nick into the alleyway of the Candy Bar, where they can have their conversation in private.

"What is this?" Asked Nick. "I don't feel attracted to you either." Betty replied. "Huh? Wait a minute, is it because I'm not good enough for you?!" "NO. It's just that... Something else." "Is that something else a someone else?" "Probably, although there's plenty of fish in the market." "Could you just make sense already?" "You see; Boys aren't my preference." "Then why did you just say there's plenty of fish in the sea?" "Market." "Whatever!" "Nick... I'm gay." "What?" "I like girls, okay!" "So, so you're what we call... ...'lesbians.'"

Betty cleared everything for Nick. She never set her eye on any boy. All the attention young men give her, such as flirting and catcalls, although from the outside she looks like she's amused, on the inside she just wants to scream. These male species annoyed her. She doesn't want them, she'd rather have a girlfriend if it weren't for her parents' homophobic nature. Jimmy wasn't any worse from those disrespectful pigs, but he still got under her skin. The poor clueless genius use to be infatuated with her, going through any measurements just to win her over. Even though she's nice to him, she always mocked him behind his back for his lovesick antics. Betty told Cindy she could have Jimmy just so she'd get him out of her hair. The day Nick asked her out on a date, she told him she'd think about it. At first she wanted to reject him, until her mother found out the proposal came from the most handsomest kid in Retroville, so she pestered her daughter into accepting the offer. Next thing she knew, she got stuck with, of all things, a boy.

"So, now that you know, I guess you'd rather not be around me anymore. The fact that I'm... ...gay." "Wait, Betty, you don't understand! We're in the same boat together!" "You mean you're gay, too?" "*Deeply sighs* Yes. I like guys. Just as you like girls. That doesn't mean I'm looking for a boyfriend." "If you're gay, why did you asked me out?"

Nick had been gay all his life, since he was five, but of course he never knew at the time. It was his emotionally abusive father that drove him into the bad boy facade he's best known for today. Not to mention his dad was heavily homophobic, and would mentally scar his son with degrading words that put him into an insecure state. Nick never allowed himself to show any affection towards the same gender. He knows he'll get judged, it'll ruin his reputation, and like his father said, "Society doesn't want f*gs, they wanna burn them!" What makes Nick question his existence more is the lack of people, people like him, on television/movies. He’s never even met another gay kid (up until now). According to adult "logic," being gay is gradually an explicit thing. So instead, he adapted this "ladies' man" image as a method of convincing people that he's straight, but it always leaves him unhappy in the end. Nick Dean; the king of cool, and macho extraordinaire, likes boys. How ridiculous it sounded. If this secret ever came out, his friends would turn against him, girls would cringe whenever they saw him, and every boy would start avoiding him. He'd be a bigger outcast than Jimmy Neutron. He just wants to be himself.

Since that day Betty and Nick rehearsed their parts for MacBeth In Space, and almost kissed, rumors spread throughout the school about them being secretly into each other. Nick likes Betty, but in a more platonic fashion. Repeatedly for months, Nick has denied his feelings for Betty to be romantic. Everybody began to get suspicious. Nick thought they were all thinking, "If Nick isn't into a hot fox like Betty, then he must be gay!" "Ewwwwwww, you mean he dates boys?!" "If that's true, then we finally found someone worse than Nerdtron!" To keep his true identity from slipping, it was about time he'd give them what they wanted.

"You know, Nick, you really didn't have to go through that trouble." "What was I suppose to do?! I panicked!"

Nick slouched down against the wall, and buried his face into his knees. Betty joined him. She could've sworn she saw a tear drip from his eye.

"Look, Nick. It's hard for me just as it's hard for you." "No shiz, Sherlock." "And, having to deal with the same experience, I don't know how to help you with this problem. There's nothing I can do to make you feel any better." "I feel SOOOO much better now. Thank you." "But, I do know one thing. We're stronger than we are. What our preferences mean doesn't make us any different from anybody else. It's bigotry that makes people think otherwise. Maybe someday, we can stop caring how people would judge us, and just be happy as ourselves, and maybe even fight for our rights just to show how strong we really are. We should learn to not fear everyday, and be comfortable with who we are. Just remember, there are still kids just like you. Take me, for instance."

Betty's speech wasn't the most inspiring, but it did help him feel a little less awful about himself. She's right. He shouldn't let his own insecurities drag him down, and just feel proud in his pride. If Nick ever wants to come out, he needs to make sure he's ready for it, maybe in a few years. Not only that, but he'll also talk his friends into understanding him better. Just in a matter of time, there will be no more hiding. His father's no longer around to tell him what to do. Everyone is free to be themselves.

"It's... nice having someone to talk to. I appreciate it, Betty." "The least I can do for another gay buddy." "Say, what do you say we call this whole relationship off and stage a breakup, in front of the whole school?" "Hmmmmmm, maybe tomorrow. That'll give me time to rehearse it. I'm gonna miss you buying me stuff." "Don't push it. Well, I'm gonna go pay off our orders." "Oh, and Nick? One more thing may I ask?" "Yes?" "Did you ever had a crush on Jimmy?" "Please, there's plenty of nerdy boys I'd rather kiss, and Neutron ain't one of them." "Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight." "Him, and Sheen."

#Jimmy Neutron #Boy Genius #TVverse #TVEE #Nick Dean #Betty Quinlan #FanFic #Story #One Shot #Alternate title: Nick Dean Vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda

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multiple-ideas · 3 years

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Journal 000-21-03-21 TW/ Abuse, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Mentions of Dark Humor/Dark Jokes , Panic Attacks, Sexual Harassment, Undiagnosed/Self-diagnosed Depression, Undiagnosed/Self-diagnosed Anxiety, Mentions of Suicide, Mentions of Death, Trauma (Past Trauma), Mentions of Helicopter Parenting, Self-Harming (not cutting) CW/ Running Away From Home, Deafness, Blindness, Repetition, Fidgeting, Stuttering, Financial Problems, Insomnia, Intrusive thoughts, Not Sharing Anything To Anyone, Religion, Dismissive Attitude, Nonchalant Attitude to Stressful Situations, Bad Coping Mechanisms

BEFORE ANYTHING

Im not sure if I missed a tag, so any other topic relating to those up top, will be discussed, so please PROCEED WITH CAUTION AND THESE IN MIND!

Thank you! Stay safe, and look out for help if you need any while reading these!

--------------------------

Have I told you that I'm literally breaking? That I've been breaking since the 8th grade or probably even before then when my father told me not to tell you that he beat me up in the car parked in-front of our church in grade school?

Have I told you that my back cracks because I slouch a lot to help me curl up into myself and feel safe? Or how I move my leg a lot because if I don't it would feel like tons of needles are pricking it and either way I get tired?

Have I told you how my panic attacks are silent? And that they last for days and days on end but I can't do anything about it because everyone at home calls me and I feel really bad about snobbing whenever I get asked to do something when I'm in that state?

Have I talked about how my brain comes up with the most intrusive thoughts that I couldn't easily comprehend so many things around me? Why I end up staring at something without moving because my body decides to stop everything and stare at literally nothing?

Have I talked about how I couldn't get a lot of your jokes because I genuinely struggle understanding when people tell jokes or not if I haven't heard them before? Because I have an internalized fear that if I'm diagnosed with a mental illness that it'll be twice the struggle you already have with my brother?

Have I told you that I've thought about running away from the house and bringing my brother with me because I couldn't tolerate him being mistreated and beaten up at home all because he couldn't communicate well or he did something because he couldn't tell us what it was? How everything at home seems to be against him? How I took up this course solely for him and no one else, not even my parents?

Have I mentioned how I couldn't think well most of the time? How everything at home confuses me because one minute there'd be shouting and I want to run away with my brother, but the next it'd be safe and sound and everyone's laughing and I don't know whether to label our family as ok because other families fight too, or if there's genuinely something wrong and I have helicopter parents?

Have I talked about how I was gay and not a female? When I was screamed at on the phone in 11th grade by my father who said that I was off with guys around me, who were my close friends that were protective mind you, dating them? How my father told me that maybe I should go home with a boy instead? And that I'd get pregnant at such a young age?

Have you noticed how I didn't rebut saying "IM GAY! WHY WOULD I BOTHER?" because I knew my family was heavily homophobic and religious? How I can't tell them I'm nonbinary or that I'm asexual, or that I'm in the aromantic-spectrum because they wouldn't even bat an eye to listen to me explain how I could like girls more than the 0% of romantic interest I could get from guys?

Have you noticed that I have internalized homophobia? Because even if I was as gay as I come, I still held the strongest to my religion and I feel very dirty and in pain every time I see someone or my brain would link it up to being wrong even if I told someone God Loves All? Because I never truly went by all the things I told someone to comfort them? (Truly, a hypocrite, in the worst way possible) Because I look at my chest or my bottom and I think I deserve to live in whatever I got because of the way everything works around me?

Have I mentioned how I ask for fidget spinners, fidget cubes, rubber bands, lots of pens, lots of rings, earrings and bracelets, because these genuinely help me fidget and calm down to think about something, ONE THING, for that moment? How I don't understand why a lot of my things disappear, even if I know I probably left it somewhere and genuinely forgot I did something?

Have I talked about how I know my sleeping schedule is trash, and that I have a sick sense of humor? That my body is deteriorating and how I can't even hear or see well anymore to the point that I learned sign language (both american and british) because I fear that one day I might need it? And how I used to, and still sort of do, close my eyes walking around home and feeling the walls or the floor to practice if I went somewhat blind?

Have you heard how loudly I laugh when you're at home, or when I think someone is outside of my room (a skill I learned when I was a kid about if my dad was around the house), and you ask why I laugh so loudly, but in reality I'm usually so quiet on my own? How I think about how I want to live alone in a dorm/apartment but even Jillian knows that if I did, I'd starve myself unintentionally & intentionally, and that I'd refuse to talk to anyone or laugh because days like these drag on, but I act like they don't?

Have I mentioned that I talked to my best friend about how I have one twitter account extremely hidden with no followings or anything linked to my others because it's the most hidden and deep account that spills my most traumatizing-centered thoughts and has all my passwords and accounts there too because I fear if I die no one would know why or what I was? That they'd think I was such a loving straight female who didn't even talk to her sibling much or cook?

Have I said that I genuinely do want to learn how to cook, ride a bicycle, learn multiple instruments, get to have pets, know how to clean my laundry, but because of you guys telling me to get away from the kitchen or the laundry place at home when I was younger and until high school, I grew afraid of even cleaning at home, even if cleaning is one of my most favourite things to do at school, at home, or anywhere? How organizing and cleaning is a comfort for me? And that I can't do any of those because I genuinely fear so many things linked to our household?

Have you noticed how I make fun of myself a lot because I never knew how to talk about it before until I saw other people make fun of themselves too? I keep saying I'm not real, or that I'm going to die, did you notice those? How I couldn't remember something and I'd say I have the worst memory ever then proceed to laugh? How I'd stutter like hell doesn't know me and proceed to stop abruptly only to say I have a stupid stutter every time? That I joke around about how I know nothing about household things and I'd be a useless partner?

Have I talked about how I have tried multiple times before to tell someone my problem, but if they talk about it lightly, dismiss it, react softly, don't react much at all, or something, I feel offended, but then put it off as if nothing about it mattered? How I impulsively make everything come off so nonchalantly and it's fine with me, but if I bring that habit up, someone starts to worry about a lot of the things I say?

Have you seen the way I couldn't get close to most people? How I shiver internally whenever someone bothers to hug me if they're not batch 2920 or Tanya, Florence, Mave, Alweya, Farhana, or Salwa? That I can't stand the thought of being kissed anywhere (unless it's Jillian, for personal reasons) that I would literally shiver and freeze at the slightest touch anyone does (especially family members like my Mother or Grandmother who are very touchy) yet I won't explain why?

Have you noticed that I can't stand guys? For if you knew, then you'd know I was sexually harassed and I didn't like how those THS students looked at me, how I didn't like when they surrounded my computer used in the computer laboratory in 10th grade, or how they catcalled me whenever I used to pass by their hallway to pass something to a teacher, did you? How I, even when my clothes are the closes to masculine over feminine, were still being catcalled and looked at like I was an object? How I learned to hate people looking at me and glare back but was also just annoyed that I stopped looking at people in general unless I glare?

Have you noticed how I started to show my love for girls more these years? How I couldn't at all look at romance kissing scenes without going to look away with a face of disgust because truly, I couldn't understand how that works for me? How if I tell someone I like them, I don't genuinely think they would ever like me back and if they do, I don't know what to do and I think I lose my way and lowkey hope they didn't like me too? But feel hurt that they like me back and I should have seen that because now I'm responsible for their emotions too and if they get hurt because of me, it's better that way than getting hurt because of themselves for now knowing I was like this?

Have you seen how I couldn't say my words properly? How I genuinely can't get my thoughts across without blabbering for so long? Or that I've wanted help with my brain's thoughts and my antics, but I didn't want to spend my family's money on something that's so small (I think)? How I didn't want my family to worry about me at all so I don't tell them about these?

Have you noticed how I don't like buying things for myself unless it's for school? How I literally keep my money in the wallets you give me and I put my money only in the slingbag because the wallets are full and I don't know when to bring it up to you that I have money saved for you to use? That I told you "thank you" every time you gave me something but I was so hesitant to receive it every time because, why would you spend money on someone like me?

Have you noticed how I was so confused on my 18th birthday when my Grandfather said "We wish to be like her (me)" because I genuinely didn't know and still don't know what you guys see from me? What do you see? What part of me seems like I could be a good role model?

Have you seen the way I comfort other people? How I can't last any second seeing someone sad, hence why I can't take jokes easily because I worry that they're genuinely sad or in need of help? That I'm open-minded and understanding to a lot of things because my family members weren't? Because I grew up reading and being alone even with a barrage of people surrounding me as friends in grade school, I couldn't recall anything about myself from then unless told about?

How I thought about my undiagnosed depression, anxiety, and other things I still refuse to mention in fear that I might be making all of this up? How in 9th grade I walked around the science laboratory room banging my head on the wall and ending up curled up under the main desk trying to silence myself while 3 other classmates were there, who then proceeded to call my best friend for help? How the 9th to 11th grades were me in my deepest eras that I couldn't walk at school for hours and days and how Jillian had to help me walk around to get used to it before I got to go home and act like it never happened?

Have you seen how I keep sleeping on days I get silent? Because though sleep is hard for me, I force myself to sleep and hate myself through my thoughts for more reason to avoid being awake and drift into a space where I can't recall what happened when I wake up?

How I keep typing all of these, over and over and over again, yet I could never get over the past? How all of these are things that happened before that I drag on until today because I couldn't see them leave my life at all?

How these keep piling up and crawl up my back like the simplest air dust speck flowing through the wind to bother me? But I act like it's not there and keep living on my days?

It's... a lot. And if you reached this point, I'm sorry that you did.

It's a whole lot-

Why are you reading this

I should be studying for my 2020-2021 2nd semester midterms... I really should... but I want to sleep... I probably will... Maybe...

'Till then. This is log 000-21-03-21

I know there's a lot more I wish to add, but for now. This is it.

#jays brain journal

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theanatomyletter · 5 years

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here is a perfectly sane response to the climate emergency

Right so like 3 days ago once everyone found out a couple weeks too late that the literal amazon rainforest is on fire I went into a sort of anxiety/depressive spiral and it was terrifying!!! I was scared and shocked out of doing anything and kept thinking of all the bad things that are happening and how we are all going 2 die and kept thinking of how to make more ppl understand that climate destruction is part of the same racist project as white imperialism and I’m !!! Stressed !! And I was scared and freaked out!!! I remember as a kid one of my favourite things ever was the book Journey To The River Sea by Eva Ibbotson and I s2g that book made me a person it taught me so many things about what it means to love a place and to be alive in the world and how to sustain a sense of self and community in meaningful connection with that it means to be alive and here and breathing and it’s a book about the rainforest and the river and so I’ve just been,, thinking of it a lot, little blue butterfly from the cover floating thru my brain and all that. It’s hard!!! I thought I was afraid of not saving/earning enough money to do a masters next year but I was actually afraid of the consequences of the climate emergency. Pay more attention to your emotions and honour them for what they are and figure out what is at stake for you, what does it make you feel that the world is in crisis. I think that’s important

Depressing chat aside after I panicked and felt radicalised (what does that even mean?) I found this twitter thread which was basically like these are all the terrible things that can happen and here is how we stop them and at first I felt SO SCARED because there’s NO WAY we can actually organise mass strikes at this scale!!!! We have never had to organise at this scale before, I panicked and got really scared and went on a rant about how we have to use existing structures to fix things because we don’t have the time or resources to organise at this scale but like. I now think we actually do, I found this resource for organising strikes globally from 20TH TO 27TH SEPTEMBER and like, we have the Internet and we have a month to plan and prepare and if you are able to strike you absolutely should !!!!!! There are people smarter than me speaking to the urgency of this, I’m just having some feelings and writing this on my phone notes, but like. Read about strikes in your area. If there aren’t any, find resources to help organise one. Text your friends your colleagues your family whatsapp group the people you went to school with, spread the word and organise how you will sustain your community in that time

As a side note after I went on panic rants all over my social media I think I realised that terrifying people into frenzied action won’t work because it’ll often just scare them into inaction (that’s what it did to me) and I felt better only once I found that resource for actual organisation, the mass general strike felt like an impossible project until I found out it’s already being planned. So like, don’t be helplessly scared, we have multiple years to fix things, and I think this is important: REMEMBER TO BE ALIVE AND HERE AND BREATHING, it’s important to actually feel the absolute miracle that is consciousness otherwise all of the saving the world will have been for nothing. Take photos of your friends and give hugs to your pets and get drunk and go dancing and remember that what matters is that feeling of being so achingly alive and aware of your existence in the world when you look at the sky and feel dizzy with how small you are and how yet the whole universe is inside of your brain, remember to breathe and feel glorious and loud and bright and reckless.

On that note, I was having a hard time giving a shit about much but I copped on a bit after I talked to my friend Naoise Dolan (buy her book it is out soon !!!) I felt like calmer and more like I was allowed to enjoy things and write things (that’s why I finally pulled it together enough to do this) and so I LISTENED TO THE NEW TAYLOR SWIFT ALBUM ON REPEAT and I’ve decided I love it, here is my ranking of all its songs from worst to best, I have so many thoughts, the lyrics are golden, I’m so happy to be alive in the world at a time we can make things better and listen to music like this that’s tailor made (sorry) for us to forget about any guilt we may feel from bopping to boardroom produced songs about corporate feminism

18. Miss Americana and whoever the fuck

Idk what this obsession is with high school motifs (shout out Mike Dolan for pointing this out) like it’s just weird for a 29 yr old to use school as a metaphor for her love life. The “you win stupid prizes” bit sounds nice though. It’s like a low-key creepy obsessive song like why is she doing that funny voice? Is it meant to sound vaguely haunted? What’s going on

I’m also just tired of “America” (the white kind) as a cultural construct and it being used as an expression of identity in popular culture like we get it you built a nationalism out of “gas stations” and “hallways” and “whatever” but you’re still racist, Stop. Like it’s just an inherently violent construct and nobody white is reckoning with it responsibly so at least maybe stop romanticising it or just shut up. Heck yea I’m reading too much into this. I do what I want

17. You Need to Calm Down

This song is bad. It’s so bad. The lyrics are pointless, the ohoHHHH is annoying, her voice is irritating, it’s also just gross and patronising and tries to do twelve things at once (are we leading a parade to pat ourselves on the back for telling homophobes to “take several seats” or are we saying we “all have crowns” wtv that means?)

This song is actually just gross and it doesnt even SOUND GOOD

16. ME

It’s less problematic than you need to calm down and that’s the only reason it’s slightly less bad. It’s a garbage song idk why it exists i’m so mad at it

15. Paper rings

IM SORRY tHe mOoN is HIGH like your friends were the night that we first met I’m sorry WHAT miss swift we get it you have been near drugs, Jesus CHRIST this song is a juvenile childish self important mess. The lyrics r awful and her voice is sneaky and weird and she does weird noises and the chorus is dumb like the “uhuh that’s right” makes me want to give CHITTAR. Also she says darling WAY too much in this album like we get it you’re dating a Brit. It’s not The Worst song because if you pay zero attention to the lyrics or her voice it’s kind of fine sounding? It’s so bad tho lol, I remember when she wrote Mine and the video came out I was like wow wild this is weird and adult and why are you pregnant but this one is even MORE weird. I also HATE every time she says dreary mondays and “baby boy” (GROSS) and I hate that she keeps repeating it lol. The I hate accidents line is kind of fine

14. I forgot that you existed

I hate the lyrics and I hate the premise (we get it you’re indifferent that’s why you wrote a whole song about it) BUT it’s such a bop, it’s very /this feels like a perfect night to make fun of our exes/ vibes and I would be LYING if I said I didn’t enjoy that. Yes we exists

We are pretending her fake laughter and starting to talk in the middle of songs things isn’t real though. It wasn’t cute in we are never ever etc and isn’t cute now

13. I think he knows

I love the 16th avenue bit, it fills me with giddy happiness, the rest of the song is shit, and also lazy. Also stop being obsessed with being 17, it was weird in starlight and is weird now

The bridge is also sort of nice but not nice enough to redeem the rest of it

12. London Boy

Im sorry I promise I know this song is bad. It is bad. I hope it’s ironic? But it’s bad. It’s a weird colonialism complex fetishisation of posh brit whiteness and its even more gross when it’s like “btw IM american, DOUBLE whiteness”, it’s icky and bad. It is a bad song. I apologise for enjoying it and I promise I am ashamed but also u know what, if you ignore the lyrics entirely and pretend you’re 15 and un-enlightened about the violence inherent to the fetishisation of an english identity……….maybe a fun tune. I know. I know. I am sorry. I promise I enjoy it only ironically

11. The man

Corporate white lady feminism? With the word HUSTLE in it? In this economy? Yes obviously

The lyrics are a bit ehhhh but some of them are quite clever and I think she’s quite honest in this song in a rare sort of way without trying to exaggerate it for shock value and it’s a very like, this is my life, here you go, sort of tune, it doesn’t do anything for women’s rights but I think it sounds nice and is probably fun to dance to, and “I’m so sick of running as fast as I can, wondering if I’d get there quicker if I was a man” and “if I were a man, I’d be the man” are fUN lines !!! Idk how wild this comparison is but like, I feel this song is trying to deal with similar things as I know places (a very privileged rant, if you will, without much self awareness) but I think The Man does it better because it’s less self important and has less ambition about it solving or expressing the world’s worst problems.

10. False God

Ok, so, what is it with the religious motifs in this album, i don’t get it, though it kinda works a lot in this song? I wanted to rank this higher but after a few listens it got slightly grating, the beginning is a bit unecessary too? Like it’s trying to create this weirdly artificial aura of glamour and sophistication, it’s quite an unnerving and haunting song and I quite like that about it and it makes me a bit surprised and startled. This thing she’s doing with like slow, building, repeating tunes i think has worked the best in this song (we might just, get away with this, religion’s in your lips e-,ven if its a False gOd) also, THE ALTAR’S IN MY HIPS, OOF, the chorus does the trick honestly and i love when she’s like slightly laughing but in a wry sort of way. Love it tbh, something about it just makes me a bit stressed though and not in an intentional way (i think)

9. It’s Nice To Have a Friend

Miss taylor who gave you the RIGHT, to shove your hand into my chest and grab my heart and step all over it. I love it and it makes me cry and it’s so soft and sweet. Zero complaints abt it it’s a beautiful song. There r just MULTIPLE EXTREMELY GOOD SONGS that’s why it’s not like my absolute fav and im confused too as to why it’s so low but like. Idk. it is a very soft and sweet song. I love it. If anything maybe it’s a bit uncreative n lazy but i think that’s slightly on purpose so doesn’t rlly constitute a criticism

8. Death by a thousand cuts

I like this song a lot a lot. The lyrics are SO GOOD IM SO HAPPY SHES DOING GOOD LYRICS AGAIN. I love the “one for the agEs” line and i’m generally a slut for any mention of chandeliers in music or poetry (dont ask), her voice is delicate but proud and wild and i’m a fan, honestly, cannot wait to bop to this. The My my my bit is annoying tho

7. The archer

I HATE the bit where she says CoMbAt but otherwise this song is soft and lovely and gentle and I love it !!!!! I love the lyrics and I love her gentle restraint of how she slowly unfurls them and then let’s go in “help me hold onto you”, there is such a commanding frankness to it, it’s an ask for collaboration, an ask for honesty, an ask for I want to do this with you

I think it’s one of the strongest tracks lyrically and she also shows like great skill vocally which has been annoyingly missing from so much of what she’s recently produced. I feel like there’s a bunch of annoying stylistic choices (the they see right thru me bit is grating) but like the song overall is lovely, I think you can feel in her voice she knows she’s created something good and it’s not the usually insufferable IM A GENIUS vibe. WHO COULD EVER LEAVE ME DARLING, BUT WHO COULD STAY !!!

6. Soon you’ll get better

Made me cry. We’re not talking about this one

5. Lover

This song is soft loving, slow whispers, careful realisations that you can build a life with whatever you like and love will save everything, I love it, I love it I love it I love it, “can I go where you go?” moves me to tEARS it is such a soft and gentle expression of care, it is such a kindness, it’s such surrendering, such reckless care, I love it so much, it’s so hopeful and also sure, it’s so frightful but also unafraid. I think this is one of Taylor’s most earnest songs ever and it does the thing of combining that earnestness with brazen daring that doesn’t turn into embarrassment only because she commands her lyrics with such certainty, and that’s rare and often I think that daring has ended badly for her (LOL most of reputation) but here it’s done so beautifully and w so much happiness and LOVE, this song is truly just a beautiful lil piece of art with so much happiness dripping thru it

4. Cornelia Street

This song. This SONG. It builds up so beautifully with this ever so slightly hesitant fascination with its own emotions, i’m so obsessed with it, the lyrics are lovely and perfect, i was expecting it to feel slightly forced and oddly specific because wtf is a cornelia street anyway, but it WORKS. I think it wants me to think of like a glowy streetlighty street and it DOES THAT, “filling in the blanks as we gooooo” sounds so gorgeous and does that thing with her voice which literally is just showing off that Yes She Does Know How To Sing and it’s so certain and sure and restrained and open and bare (again in “i thought you were leading me onnnnn”). Also, “the city screams your name” should be a tired cliche but its just an excited expression of abandon im,, in love. The song is so shaky and uncertain but completely confident and relaxed at the same time and it FEELS EXACTLY LIKE COMING TO TERMS WITH BEING IN LOVE AND WANTING IT TO LAST FOREVER, also like, when did she learn how to write good bridges again because yEs

3. Daylight

Solely for the lines “i’ll tell you the truth, but never goodbye // i don’t want to look at anything else now that i saw you” she deserves a grammy it actually pierces my emotions and makes me want 2 explode, this song is sooooo lovely and it has the vibe that makes me feel like i’ve already heard it years ago (but maybe thats because ive had the album on repeat 2 days straight) but it’s just,,, very good and it feels like sunset and glitter and i think is a perfect ending to a great album i love how it builds intensity and then strips it down and just,,, love it.

2. Afterglow

This is i think, one of the most beautiful things this woman has ever produced, one of the loveliest and most powerful songs ever made, i love it so very much. She finally learnt how to do autotune properly lol, this song is like, a crescendo of emotion, everything is falling down around it and it’s like a little haven of bare, frank honesty and complete surrender, of complete vulnerability, the whole song sounds like an act of care and an act of expressing pure emotion, it’s so gorgeous. It moves so softly and doubles in on itself and she’s sorry and sad but so proud of this love and so certain of its importance, “i’m the one who burnt us down”, it’s such a zooming in on a very specific emotion and it’s done so well, i love it

1. Cruel summer

I LOVE THIS SONG. I LOVE THIS SONG. The lyrics are flighty and exciting and shivery, WHAT DOESNT KILL ME MAKES ME WANT YOU MORE- plug that shit into my VEINS. This song makes me feel like it’s 2015 and nothing is real yet and I’m living inside a YA novel and my biggest problem is my crush being mean to me and I’m RELISHING in that freedom and indulging every last drop of emotion because being alive and paying attention to it is incredible and Extremely Cool Actually (I DONT WANT TO KEEP SECRETS JUST TO KEEP YOU, dead right gal)

That said. Organise for the climate strike. Read up on what’s going on so you can answer questions in your family whatsapp group. Field those conversation, DO THAT EMOTIONAL LABOUR (again, what even), spread the word. But take care of yourself !!!! Listen to Taylor swift and remember that we are an absolute joke of a species, we went to the MOON, we can do this, I love you

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thehorrorofnachosandhamantaschen · 7 years

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A Mist Minute: Episode 1 - Pilot

Sometimes we just don’t have the time to make a whole podcast episode about something like a TV show because they’re sooooo many episodes long and we’d need a million podcasts to cover them adequately. Who has time for a million episodes? Certainly not us! Just putting out 40 or so a year is killing us already and the sacrifices we’ve had to make in our personal lives are unmentionable. But every now and then there comes a TV show, nay, TV event, that we feel that we have to cover, especially when they relate to episodes we’ve covered already. I am of course talking about the new The Mist show, based off of the story by Stephen King (And 2007 Film) which we have definitively covered more extensively than anyone else on the internet ever and you can listen to HERE. So without further ado, the first of our “Minute” series, The Mist: Episode 1 - Pilot:

EPISODE ONE - PILOT

Military guy from The Arrowhead Project has amnesia, because of course he does, it’s TV, but I’m glad that they’re sticking with The Arrowhead Project and not making up something else goofy. Military guy gets his dog killed by something in the mist and then arrested for acting like a nut going on about mist.

A bunch of the gauntest actors around get up to adventures! Gaunt mom from The Vikings gets fired from school because she told kids about Blowey J’s! Gaunt daughter doesn’t like her gaunt mom because she won’t let her go to a football party! Gaunt daughter’s gaunt bisexual friend’s dad hates him because he wears make up! Gaunt drug addict lady kills a dude with a pitchfork, tries to dig up a bag of money from someone’s shed, get’s arrested!

Not so gaunt father tells gaunt daughter she can go to the football party behind gaunt mother’s back so long as she brings gaunt friend. Football players don’t like him due to him not just wanting to pound chicks because stereotypes are easy and everyone seems to treat sexuality like it’s the 80′s and not 2017. Maybe small town Maine is just super homophobic even today!

Well the lead up to this show talked about how much sexy sex was going to be in it, but what they didn’t tell you was that it was going to be the rape of a minor, ugh. And of course nobody but her parents believes gaunt daughter was raped by a football player, who is the son of a police officer! And of course the other football players throw rocks through the Gaunt’s house windows and spray paint whore outside the house! Any other cliches we can throw in here?

Frances Conroy is in this too! She’s so much better than the material provided and only made me wish they had cast her as Mrs. Carmody in the 2007 film. She notices a bunch of frogs and birds coming out of the woods and goes to the library to read about the “Black Spring” of 1860, allowing a little of the dialogue Mrs. Carmody has in the short story to show up for the first time.

40 minutes into the episode the mist shows up. Not so gaunt father has gone to the police station to report the stoning and gets stuck there with rapist football player cop father, doofy officer, gaunt friend, amnesia army guy, and gaunt druggie. A bunch of roaches eat doofy officer, cop father drives off in his car, and the other 4 are left at the police station to fend for themselves.

Frances Conroy and her husband are walking back from the library when some crazy guy comes out of the mist, shoots her husband, then hearing some monster kills himself, she runs to a church and meets Father Guy from Frasier.

Gaunt mother and daughter are at the mall where a character named Mrs. Carmody throws some shade about mother teaching BJs in sex ed, but mother comes back with some shade so hard about Carmody’s son that all the other old grandmother’s in line at the pharmacist with them give a knowing “Bitch got served” look. It’s cool though, Carmody goes out in the mist and gets her jaw ripped off so that she can look gory screaming back through the window at the other people in the mall. We also see that football player rapist is stuck in the mall with gaunt daughter too.

So I don’t hate this. Amnesia and football player rapist are both some seriously overplayed BS, and a rape is always a super cheap way to get some tension going so there’s that. Whoever did the casting also has an obvious hardon for gaunt actors, so if you have anything other than an ectomorphic body type you’re not going to find anyone like you in this so far. Even though “trapped in a mall with monsters outside” is not a new concept, I think it’ll work here, especially when I know ol’ Isiah Whitlock Jr. is going to be running it.

And speaking of swearing, I do like that they are dropping the F-bomb through the episode and just muting them out. I think this a much better than having grown adults not using the kind of language that grown adults would use as you see on really any ABC/NBC/CBS cop/hospital/crime show. What I DON’T like is that when you have bought the episodes on Amazon they are still muted out, because they think I’m some kind of delicate eared baby or some shit. I don’t know whose choice this is, Spike or Amazon, but I do know that when I watch The Magicians I get to hear all the fucks and shits and sexy talk in that (which is most of the show, granted) no problem. What I’m saying is that SyFy is more on the ball than Spike so far as third tier cable stations goes.

Lastly, let’s talk about third tier cable stations, and how you might think they might have the budget to afford technology better than a film from 10 years previously, but so far it’s not looking like it. All the mist seems to be done digitally or via a mist filter and it looks generously not good. I’m hoping they are saving all their special effects budget for the monsters, which may be the case as all we’ve seen kill a guy is some cockroaches somehow. That’s not super clear at this point because we’ve only heard a bunch of guys getting killed by monsters but have yet to actually see one. I swear to god Mist tv show, if you fuck me over on my mist monsters...

So yeah, there’s some garbage here, but there’s some possibility too. TUNE IN NEXT WEEK FOR HOPEFULLY SOME MONSTERS AND SOME MORE SEXY SEX SEX!

Also check out:

Episode 11 - The Mist v. The Mist

A Mist Minute: Episode 2 - Withdrawal

A Mist Minute: Episode 3 - Hide and Seek

A Mist Minute: Episode 4 - Pequod

A Mist Minute: Episode 5 - The Waiting Room

A Mist Minute: Episode 6 - The Devil You Know

A Mist Minute: Episode 7 - Over the River and Through the Woods

A Mist Minute: Episode 8 - The Law of Nature

A Mist Minute: Episode 9 - The Waking Dream

A Mist Minute: Episode 10 - The Tenth Meal

A Mist Minute: Show Retrospective

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#The Horror of Nachos and Hamantaschen #Horror #Nachos #Hamantaschen #Podcast #Comedy #Literature #Film #Television #TV #Cinema #Stephen King #The Mist #Spike

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aaronpullinteeth · 5 years

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Get To Know Me:

Found a list of questions online....I’m bored.....so here we go:

1. What’s your philosophy in life?

Don’t judge a person by the box they tick, judge them on if they’re an asshole or not.

2. What’s the one thing you would like to change about yourself?

My hairline.

3. Are you religious or spiritual?

Nope.

4. Do you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert?

More of an extrovert nowadays.

5. Which parent are you closer to and why?

My mom. Since I haven’t seen my dad in about 10 years.

6. What was the best phase in your life?

The middle point of my college life I’d say. End of first year and start of second year.

7. What was the worst phase in your life?

I was aged about 13 - 14 years old. I lost my grandfather and my dad and I had a huge fight and he kicked me out so I ended up losing half of my family, my half siblings and most of my life.

8. Is what you’re doing now what you always wanted to do growing up?

No. I never saw myself doing this. Plus as a kid I wanted to be Spider-Man.

9. What makes you feel accomplished?

Seeing people smile.

10. What’s your favorite book/movie of all time and why did it speak to you so much?

The Crow. Something about the dark, gothic aesthetic and cool story, the music...just everything really. Watch it if you haven’t.

11. What is a relationship deal breaker for you?

Someone being intolerant (racist, sexist, homophobic etc)

12. Are you more into looks or brains?

A bit of both, but neither matter if the person is an asshole.

13. Would you ever take back someone who cheated?

I did once. It was a bad idea.

14. How do you feel about sharing your password with your partner?

On the one hand, I don’t mind it, since I don’t hide things, but on the other hand, you should trust your partner enough for them to have their own space, if you don’t trust them enough to have their own space like that, then the relationship isn’t gonna work.

15. When do you think a person is ready for marriage?

.....when they say they’re ready? I don’t know. There isn’t one thing where you can say “That’s it, you have passed the Ready For Marriage” test.

16. What kind of parent do you think you will be?

Honestly, I have no idea. Hopefully a good one. I mean, I have the textbook template of what not to do in my dad.

17. What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner?

Already been there. Just accept it. Since my mom trusts me enough to, as she puts it “make your own stupid mistakes”

18. Who is that one person you can talk to about just anything?

An old friend of mine from school.

19. Do you usually stay friends with your exes?

I have done before. Depends on the ex and how it ended.

20. Have you ever lost someone close to you?

Yes I have. A fair few people.

21. If you are in a bad mood, do you prefer to be left alone or have someone to cheer you up?

Depends what’s happened, but usually I prefer to be left alone.

22. What’s an ideal weekend for you?

Staying in all weekend and gaming, eating shitty food and never having to get dressed.

23. What do you think of best friends of the opposite sex?

I think I’d say my best friend is the opposite sex.

24. Do you judge a book by its cover?

Everyone does. The important thing is being open to having that judgment changed once you get to know what’s on the inside.

25. Are you confrontational?

In a way, not in an aggressive manor.

26. When was the last time you broke someone’s heart?

I think about a year ago.

27. Would you relocate for love?

I’d consider it.

28. Did you ever write a journal?

No. But I write lyrics which are usually based on my mindset at the time so... kinda, I guess.

29. What are you most thankful for?

Punk rock and dogs.

30. Do you believe in second chances?

Sadly, I do.

31. What’s the one thing that people always misunderstand about you?

A lot of people think I’m gay. I don’t mind when people think I am. It’s not an insult. I’m not, however.

32. What is your idea of a perfect vacation?

A cottage in the countryside of Scotland

33. What did your past relationship teach you?

Don’t ever get with someone because you think it’ll be easier.

34. What are your thoughts on online dating or tinder?

It’s just a newer way of finding people. Just be careful with it.

35. What’s on your bucket list this year?

Well this year is almost over so I’m gonna count this for next year and say: Go to more concerts and get back in shape.

36. When have you felt your biggest adrenaline rush?

Playing live on stage.

37. What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done and would you do it again?

Depends on your definition of crazy, I guess. Some would say playing music on stage, some would say streaking on the street for a dare, some would say having to “sing” Monster Mash on stage for a play, when I cannot sing to save my life, some would say walking through the streets dressed as an old woman....take your pick. And yes, I’d do all of those again.

38. If a genie granted you 3 wishes right now, what would you wish for?

More money. The chance to play in a band again. For my mom’s cancer to be cured.

39. What’s your biggest regret in life?

Being too shy to take the risks in life I should have. I’m not that way anymore, but there are a fair few chances I missed in the past because of it.

40. What do you think about when you’re by yourself?

Usually pro-wrestling or punk rock.

41. Does your job make you happy?

When you really get to help someone, then yes.

42. What did you want to be when you were younger?

Spider-Man

43. Why did your last relationship end?

A number of reasons. But deep down, I didn’t love the girl.

45. What’s been your biggest mistake so far in life and what did you learn from it?

Letting someone back into my life after they treated me like shit. I learned not to let someone back into your life after they treated you like shit.

46. Where is your favorite place in the entire world to go?

Oddly specifically, there’s a pub at the very bottom of the massive hill in Robin Hood’s Bay that over looks the sea. Being in the beer garden of that pub, sitting on the wall, looking over the sea....it’s the most at peace I have ever felt whenever I’ve been there.

47. What are your top five favorite movies?

The Crow, The Dark Knight, 10 Things I Hate About You, Guardians Of The Galaxy, Toy Story 2.

48. What are some of your favorite songs?

Basically anything by The Wonder Years, Bowling For Soup or Blink182.

49. What qualities do you admire about your parents?

Nothing about my dad. The work ethic, optimism and open mindedness of my mother.

50. How would you describe your best friend?

Fucking awesome and my rock.

51. What’s your favorite hobby to do alone?

Writing.

52. What’s something you can’t go a day without doing?

Breathing...it’s important......ok, seriously, it’s cuddling with my dog.

53. What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve done lately?

I’m not sure....it’s been a while since I’ve had the chance to do anything truly spontaneous.

54. What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done for love?

Ran away.

55. What’s your biggest pet peeve?

Ignorance.

56. Why do you think you’re still single?

I don’t get out enough. And possibly my face.

57. What accomplishment are you most proud of?

My band’s album.

58. What is one dream you have yet to accomplish?

Get to have an actual wrestling match.

59. What is your greatest fear?

The Birdseye Stuffed Bear.

60. What are three things you value most about a person?

A sense of humor, open mindedness and the ability to talk about utter bullshit at all hours.

61. Who are five people you are closest with?

Currently I’d say there are only 3 and they know who they are.

62. What is the greatest struggle you’ve overcome?

Losing half of my family.

63. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?

Either in America (somewhere like New York) or in the middle of the Scottish countryside.

64. What’s the most exciting thing that’s happened this past year?

To me? Probably going to see NXT UK live.

65. What’s your favorite beer?

More of a whiskey drinker to be honest.

66. What’s one thing that bothers you most about the world today?

The political landscape.

67. Who are you closer with your mom or your dad?

Mom.

68. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?

I’m sure I answered this already, but my hairline. I miss having long hair.

69. If you could change one thing about the world what would it be?

The political landscape.

70. Who was your favorite teacher and why?

Mr Hope. He was my teacher in Maths when I was in year 9. He had the best sense of humor and somehow made it so Maths wasn’t the most boring thing in the world.

71. What sport did you fall in love with?

Pro-Wrestling

72. What is the weirdest thing about you?

Almost everything about me is a little weird. Maybe the fact that the bones in my wrist pop in and out of their sockets.

73. What was your longest relationship?

Not that long to be honest, 4 or 5 months.

74. What would your best friend say is your best quality?

She once told me my best quality is that I’m “quirky”

75. Who is your favorite historical figure?

If it counts, Kurt Cobain.

76. What made you choose the college you went to?

It was accessible and offered the courses I wanted? Isn’t that why everyone chooses a college?

77. If you could tell your former self one thing right now what would it be?

Take those chances.

78. What food could you not live without?

I think I could give up any item of food if I had to.

79. Dogs or Cats?

Dogs, but I love both.

80. What’s closest you’ve ever come to being arrested?

Not sure.

81. What was your best birthday?

I’m not much of a birthday person so I don’t often do much.

82. What’s one thing you wish you knew how to do?

Play guitar.

83. Where’s one place you’d like to go that you haven’t been?

America. (I know it’s huge, but I haven’t been anywhere in America so...)

84. What was the last book you read? And When?

Batman - Death Of The Family, about a week ago.

85. Where do you usually get your news?

The internet or at work.

86. What are some of your own personal goals in the next 5 years?

Get in shape. Move forward in my job. I don’t know. I don’t like looking too far ahead.

87. What would you consider your greatest accomplishment so far?

Again, pretty sure you’ve asked this. Recording an album with my band.

88. If you could get away with anything that you do?

I think the grammar failed here.... not sure.

89. Who is your greatest hero?

My mother.

90. What’s the greatest risk you’ve ever taken?

Up rooting my life and moving miles away to start a new one.

91. Why are we here?

Our parents got busy and well.... 9 months later.

92. If heaven is real and you died tomorrow, would you get in?

Probably not.

93. Do you believe in fate?

No.

94. How do you think people see you?

With their eyes..... oh, you mean metaphorically? Likely as an idiot.

95. If you had the ability to erase something that you did in the past, what would it be?

Letting someone back in.

96. What song makes you unconditionally happy?

My dog.

97. If you could have anybody else’s life, who’s would you take?

I wouldn’t. What’s the point in wishing you were someone else? These are the cards you’re dealt, do the best you can with them.

98. What fictional character do you most relate to?

Jason Todd.

99. If I asked you at age 5 what you wanted to be when you grew up, what would you say?

You’ve asked this already....again. Spider-Man

100. What is your biggest irrational fear?

Again....you’ve asked this. The Birdseye Stuffed Bear.

101. If you could take us anywhere in the world right now, where would you take us?

Right now? At this exact moment? Where’s RAW being held tonight?

102. What is your biggest regret?

I had a chance once to apply for a wrestling school and I didn’t take it.

103. If you died tomorrow, what would you wish you had done?

See the above.

104. Can you pin point the moment in your life where you were the happiest?

The first time I got to perform Dammit by Blink182 live on stage infront of an actual audience.

105. What song makes you unconditionally sad?

Elvis Presley - An American Trilogy. It was my granddad’s fav song and was played at his funeral.

106. If past lives are real, what was yours?

I’d like to think i’m brand new.

107. Have you ever seen something you can’t explain?

Pretty often.

108. What is your biggest accomplishment?

You’ve asked this 3 times.

109. If you could do one thing without suffering the consequences, what would you do?

Punch a certain someone in the face......with a brick.

110. What is the strangest dream you’ve ever had?

That I was a sentient tree and couldn’t move anywhere but I was able to make sarcastic comments at everyone who walked by.

111. What is the darkest thought you’ve ever had? What about the darkest thing you’ve never told anybody?

I once saw a baby crying on a bus and I thought to myself “I wonder how far the baby would go if I punted it” And I haven’t told people a lot of dark things I hear daily at work.

112. Is there something out there, a thought, an idea, a current event, or a fear that you find deeply unsettling?

The political landscape

113. What would you consider to be your deepest fear? (This question can be really telling of the depth or lack thereof of a person.)

You’ve asked this question so many times already!

114. Is there an activity that calms you? A place or a thing that makes you feel at ease?

Hugging my dog while watching wrestling.

115. What makes you feel uneasy? Overwhelmed? Anxious?

The political landscape....I mean, we’re on the verge of World War 3 here.

116. What is your favorite song and why?

Peaces - Sum41. It’s just..... too relatable.

117. Do you have a favorite book? A line in a piece of literature? A poem? Why do you relate to it?

“ All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That's how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day.” - Batman: The Killing Joke

It just speaks to me on how close you can be to breaking. You have to try and be the best person you can be, always.

118. What scene in a movie has evoked the most feelings out of you?

More a scene from a TV show, rather than a film, but...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GN5Yv8Hfk_o

Excuse the shitting quality.

119. What do you do or where do you go when you need to be alone?

I go home and stick headphones on.

120. What makes you feel like you need to be alone?

Usually after work.

121. Can you remember a time in your life you felt the most alive? Tell me everything about that memory.

Being on stage, playing a live performance with my band. It was just living a dream.

122. When have you felt the lowest in your life?

Likely about 3 years ago. I had just lost a job, my neighbors were bullying me to the point I was terrified of leaving my house and I had just let someone back into my life that decided to try and wreck it again.

123. Where have you felt the most failure? The most success?

See above for failure. Most success was when my band’s album got online and I could see that people where actually listening to it and like it.

124. Tell me about the facts or harsh truths you choose to ignore but know you shouldn’t.

That one person was extremely bad news.

125. When have you felt like you were living life to the fullest? When have you felt like you weren’t?

I think I’ve answered this already.

126. What is the first lie you ever told? Which is the biggest?

I can’t remember my first lie....I was likely about 3 years old. Biggest? I told someone I loved them when I didn’t.

127. What is the first secret you ever kept from anybody? Which is the biggest?

Not sure about first but biggest might have been that a girl cheated on her boyfriend with me multiple times.

128. Are you a religious or spiritual person? Tell me why and tell me how.

No I’m not and because it just doesn’t make sense to me.

129. Have you always had the same political beliefs? Is there something that impacted them?

Yeah, I have always felt the same.

130. Where do you find meaning in your life?

Writing, creating and friends

131. Have you ever been in love? Tell me about the times you have been.

Yes I have. Once. I’m not going to go into the details but let’s just say, she didn’t feel the same way and kinda just used me.

132. Tell me about the times someone broke your heart.

See above.

133. Why did you cry the last time you did so?

Last time I really really cried was when I found out my mom has cancer.

134. Have you ever cried tears of joy?

Once.

135. What did you do when you hurt someone the most?

Ended a relationship I wasn’t truly invested in and I didn’t feel even close to the same way, so I know it was the right thing to do but she didn’t see it that way.

136. If your life was a movie or a book what would be the title to it?

I’d like to think it would be named after one of my songs....maybe Swallow Me Whole

137. When have you caused the most harm to yourself?

Mentally or physically? Mentally, well, as I’ve already said, letting someone back in. Physically....I guess from drumming so much I’ve fucked my wrists

138. What has been the biggest change you ever made that made you the most proud of yourself?

Fighting against being so shy.

139. Think about the people you love the most in your life, what do you do for them?

I like to think I make them laugh and I’m always here when they need me. Just at the end of the phone.

140. Is home for you a place or a feeling? Describe that place or describe that feeling.

I’d say it’s more a feeling of true comfort.

141. If you could be anywhere other than where you are right now, where would you be and what would you be looking at?

Right now? Where’s RAW being held tonight?

142. Have you ever questioned your sanity and why?

All the time. You should see the characters I create.

143. What is your most cherished childhood memory?

Sitting in the car with my mom for hours singing Bon Jovi.

144. Have you ever had dreams about a past life?

Not that I can remember.

145. Do you have any recurring dreams or nightmares?

Yeah, I have a couple.

146. Do you believe more in fate or that we are the creators of our own destinies because we are governed by free will?

Creators of our own destinies. I mean, sure, you can’t change the hand you’re dealt, but what you do with that hand is 100% down to you.

147. Do you believe in extraterrestrial life? Elaborate on why or why not.

I do. There’s just no way that we are alone in the universe. The fact that the universe is ever expanding and evolving, that shows that there must be life out there other than on our planet.

148. Would you find more comfort in the theoretical idea that that we were the most advanced species in outer space or would you find more comfort in the idea that we weren’t?

That we weren’t. Because if we are the mos advanced, the universe is fucked. I like to think we will always have something to learn.

149. What would be your thought process if you were presented with irrefutable evidence that a god didn’t exist? What would be your thought process if you were presented with irrefutable evidence that a god did exist?

Evidence that a God doesn’t exist - Well I’m right.

Evidence that a God does exist - Sweet. Where have you been all this time, asshole?

150. What do you think was there before the universe came into creation?

....Nothing....

151. Do you believe in other dimensions and parallel universes?

I’d like to. I love the concept that every decision you make branches off into another dimension where the opposite call was made. I find that fascinating.

152. How do you define art?

Expression in the form of creation

153. If you could have the option of eradicating pain from your life would you choose to do so? Why or why not?

No, to quote Butters from South Park (of all characters) “ Well yeah, and I'm sad, but at the same time I'm really happy that something could make me feel that sad. It's like, it makes me feel alive, you know? It makes me feel human. And the only way I could feel this sad now is if I felt somethin' really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good, so I guess what I'm feelin' is like a, beautiful sadness. I guess that sounds stupid.”

154. Is a life exclusive to pleasure (no suffering) worthwhile?

Nope.

155. What do you think happens after death, if anything?

Honestly, I think nothing happens. I think you just die....that’s it. End of. Game over. Roll credits. Blank screen.

156. If you could be given the date of your death would you want to know it?

No.

157. Presented with the opportunity to be immortal would you take it?

I can see ups and downs to it. I think I’d go for yes

158. Would you rather be loved or love?

Can’t choose both? If I had to pick, I’d rather love.

159. How do you define beauty?

Something so nice it makes you feel good in some way.

160. Where does happiness come from? Define what happiness means to you.

Feeling fulfilled by something.

161. Do you believe yourself to be truly free? If so, why? If not, what is holding you back?

In a way, yes. But the way society works, you’re not truly 100% free due to the need to earn money for food, shelter and comfort.

162. Deja-vu: is there anything to it or merely coincidence

Coincidence I’d say.

163. What was your father or mother like at home? How does he or she act different outside of family?

My mom acts a lot more relaxed at home. My dad was an asshole at home and tried to come across as a decent person in public.

164. If you were given a choice to choose your manner of death, how would you die?

In a blaze of glory.

165. Tell me a really, really stupid joke that made you laugh.

I JUST KICKED STAN!

166. Pick two out of physical chemistry, lifestyle compatibility, emotional compatibility and intellectual compatibility.

Emotional Compatibility & Lifestyle Compatibility

167. If you were forced to vote for one the biggest dictators of history, (Hitler, Mussolini, Mugabe, Mao, Saddam or Stalin), which one would you pick and why?

How’s about none? How are they gonna force me?

168. Show me a music track or a scene from a film that made you tear up.

I already did this.

169. If you could have any animal in the world as a pet, what would it be and why?

Just more dogs.

170. If you were given a chance to explore the oceans, go to outer space or visit 50 different countries, which one you choose and why?

The countries, to see all the different cultures and ways of life.

171. Do you think that men are more rational and women are more emotional?

Nope. I think it doesn’t make a difference what gender you are. It’s who you are as a person.

172. Out of the negative emotions of greed, anger, jealousy and hate, which one would you say affects you the most?

Anger.

173. Out of the positive emotions of compassion, positivity, enthusiasm and initiative, which one is your biggest strength?

Compassion

174. If you could be President of your country for an hour, what is the one thing that you would change?

Brexit.

175. Describe your best first kiss.

Spontaneous, passionate and likely a mistake.

176. Has another’s pain ever given you joy? Be totally honest.

Yes.

177. Tell me your biggest strength outside of your workplace.

Creativity, I guess.

178. If you were given a choice to turn into a zombie or to die, which would you pick?

Die.

179. If you had to pick one, what is the most important value you would teach your children? Honesty, Kindness or Courage?

Kindness.

180. Are you health conscious?

Less so than I should be.

181. Name the one bad quality you wouldn’t mind in a partner.

Being untidy because so am I.

182. Name the one worst quality you cannot tolerate in a partner.

Intolerance.... ironically.

183. Tell me your biggest supernatural or paranormal fear?

Don’t think I have one.

184. If you got a free cheque for $5,000 right this second, how would you use it?

Pay some bills and likely go and take my mom out for a meal and then split the rest up between the closest people to me.

185. Name one really surprising thing that set your heart pumping and gave you an adrenaline rush.

Nothing really surprising has. Just the stuff you’d expect.

186. Tell me about the time you were so embarrassed in love, you wished you could disappear right there and then.

Anytime you confess to someone and they laugh at you.

187. Have you ever been unable to sleep? What do you do with your time then?

Fairly often. Usually game

188. Tell me about your biggest love regret that made you wish you could turn back time?

I don’t ever really wish to go back in time.

189. Do you believe in materialism or spirituality?

I believe in them, I am, however, neither of them.

190. If you were forced to pick one religion on this planet, which one would it be and why?

In all honesty, I’d pick atheism. It would force people to actually live their life for themselves and their closest family & friends, not a being that may or may not exist. Also it would eliminate one of the biggest reasons for war throughout history.

191. What is the most romantic and loving thing you have ever done for somebody?

I’m not sure what other’s would say, but to be, I’ve wrote someone a song.

192. What is the most adventurous thing you have ever done in your life?

I’m not sure....I guess the fact I was someone’s art project once.

193. What’s your day-to-day mantra?

Be a good person;

194. What quote resonates with you more than any other?

There’s only ever going to be one you, don’t make that one you an asshole.

195. What’s your anti-motto?

Errrmmmm..... Everything is awesome?

196. What trait do you envy in others?

The ability to play guitar

197. What skill do you wish you had?

See above.

198. How do you wish to be remembered?

As a decent person....and kinda funny.

199. How would your best friend describe you in five words?

Quirky, funny, drumming, idiot....five.

200. How would you summarize your life purpose?

To make people happy, I guess.

#me #life #questions #this took a long time

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duaneodavila · 6 years

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Debate: Maybe Civility Wouldn’t Hurt

Ed. Note: After two prominent intellectuals, a New York Times reporter and an award winning British media personality failed to debate the question ,“Be it Resolved: What You Call Political Correctness, I Call Progress,” former Fault Lines contributors Chris Seaton and Mario Machado attempted to succeed where four others failed. Bellow Chris’ argument.

Those who know me or read me work realize I’m no fan of political correctness. I abhor the idea of “trigger warnings” in academic syllabi. The notion that my children will be taught growing up there’s more than two genders is absurd to me. And I find it ridiculously infantile that at the start of each semester, college professors must ask students, “What is your preferred set of pronouns?”

Despite all this, today I write in defense of political correctness because it has brought us some degree of meaningful change, despite what the Perry Van Ness* polo-shirt-wearing crowd might think.

Political correctness leveled the playing field for the better when it came to groups like women, people of color and LGBTQIAAP2** individuals. It means that as much as we hate to admit it, men know it’s not okay to call a female colleague in the workplace “sugar tits” in passing. Heterosexual men and women march in the streets during Pride celebrations with people who love differently than them.

And it meant everyone, regardless of the color of their skin, could marry into the Kardashian family.***

As I swallow each of those statements with a bit of bile, I will acknowledge political correctness went horribly wrong somewhere. It was a great thing when it was giving us equal treatment for people who were different than us. Our society started jettisoning the idea of political correctness when it stopped asking us to be polite to each other and demanded some person you might find a tad shady share a bathroom with your children.

It’s hard to pinpoint when political correctness started going too far. It’s easy to see when peak political correctness harmed our country. On September 9, 2016, Hillary Clinton referred to those who disagreed with the notion that it was “her time” to be President of the United States as a “basket of deplorables.”

“You know, to just be grossly generalistic, you could put half of Trump’s supporters into what I call the basket of deplorables. Right?” Clinton said. “The racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, Islamaphobic—you name it. And unfortunately there are people like that. And he has lifted them up.”

In that moment, many of the people who didn’t care for Hillary Clinton hardened their hearts. It’s not fun to be called a racist, sexist, transohomophobic bigot. Especially if you may hold some views progressive folks refer to as “on the wrong side of history.”

Those “deplorable” people who didn’t like political correctness showed up on election day and gave HRC and everyone who chased the dragon of political correctness towards the blinding light of the sun the biggest “fuck you” possible. They voted a loudmouthed braggart of a New Yorker into the highest possible office our country has because, well, fuck you, that’s why.

Since January 20, 2017, that blanket rejection of political correctness has divided us more than ever before. Without the pretense of seeing each other as individuals, but now as oppressed members of groups, Antifa dons black and fights the Proud Boys openly in the streets. Colleges can’t invite conservative speakers to campus without six figure security fees.

Our increasingly polarized society plunged into the morass of calling media outlets we don’t like “fake news.” Social media is either an online hate mob or increasingly irritating arguments with your Aunt Tammy because she won’t stop sharing those InfoWars posts and she doesn’t get how nasty that Alex Jones fellow is.

More often than not, we’re seeing our fellow man (or woman, let’s not be sexist here) as not an individual or part of a group. We’re seeing them as an Other. And that’s not the place we need to be.

So today, I’m proposing we return to a certain kind of political correctness. It’s called “civility.” It means you’ll forgive someone for calling a person an Eskimo because they’re rednecks and can’t pronounce “Inuit” to save their lives. Give a person a pass for calling a Lakota an Indian if they can’t spell Lakota right.

And please don’t get upset when someone says “gay” instead of using a ten letter acronym.

Talk to people. See them for the individuals they are instead of members of a group. Get to know them and love them for all the crazy, weird shit they think. Even if at the end of the day you think that person’s a nice guy who’s wrong about everything, love them for the fact they took the time to tell you about it.

I close by paraphrasing from my favorite comedian turned prophet, Bill Hicks. You have a simple choice to make: fear or love. Which will you choose? Only one answer will throw open the doors we’ve closed and let us see all of mankind as one.

Even if it means you have to grit your teeth and use someone’s preferred pronouns once they ask you to do it. It’ll be a pain in the ass, but they’ll know you made the effort because you care.

*No, Proud Boys, I’m not talking about you right now. I’ll get to that later. (suckers)

**I understand the number 2 in the current abbreviation stands for “two spirited.” Somewhere down the line you’ve got to be fucking kidding me with this. I’m trying hard here.

***But would you really want to? Honestly?

Copyright © 2007-2018 Simple Justice NY, LLC This feed is for personal, non-commercial and Newstex use only. The use of this feed anywhere else violates copyright. If this content is not in your news reader, it means the page you are viewing infringes copyright. (Digital Fingerprint: 51981395c77d7762065ca2c084b63e47) Debate: Maybe Civility Wouldn’t Hurt republished via Simple Justice

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