#but not what im looking for in a permanent dog right now

[abirddogmoment]

Mr. Laundry went home a couple days ago and I already miss his squishy face.

#dogblr #the man the legend: laundry #i do not miss his leash walking (lack of) or the amount of drool he left whole drinking from a bowl #but he was a really really sweet dog who adapted really well to life in a tiny apartment with a pinecone #and that really says something about Carla's dogs so #im so glad she lent him to me #it was a great reminder why im going with a slightly lower maintenance breed #i was feeling nostalgic and thinking i wanted to stay in britts and luckily laundry fixed that for me #he needed A LOT of management #(the same way mav did at a similar age tbh) #and it was a really good thing to keep me out of my head for a month #but not what im looking for in a permanent dog right now #he played so well with pike though 😭❤ #she was so happy to have a friend

[emilio-the-dumb-wrestler]

My coach is such a pussover. Im doing the sport just to get girls, not for my career. Ugh i swear that pot-bellied man doesn't even train me well since he's nearsighted. Being bald with that smelly hygenie of his bushy hair coming from everywhere on his body, no wonder he's living alone. I would pay and do anything to make him feel my perspective for him

Can you say that a little louder ? Also the payment I take is something you’ve already offered. And that’s your agreement. You’re agreement to what I’m going to do to you. You wanted him to feel your perspective so be it ! He’s going to see your perspective on him. From your body! The only thing is that he’s your coach. In college. And don’t college boy tend to have relationships with their coaches long after college. Grab a few beers here and there. You didn’t specify the length of time so why not just slam you into that big fat hairy of his for good. It’s obvious you want to be trapped there. To live as him. I think the wish is more suited to say “I wish I was stuck as my big fat hairy coach for the rest of my life!” Ok done! You scream no right before I snap my fingers. Everything go dark.

Waking up in a foreign room that you have never been in was startle. But you’ll have time to get used to it. After all it’s yours now. And you struggle to get up. Again. Something you will get used to. You look down and you see your coaches big strong hairy gut resting on your lap and his large sweaty feet on the floor. Even though you are just getting up you are sweating like a dog. And you smell even worse. This must be why he wears so much deodorant. But that’s ok. That’s your problem now. Your face is itchy and you realize you’re now going to be stuck with his face looking back at you in your mirror. For good. His handsome bearded face. Maybe next time you will word your wish more carefully. But I’m sure he is having a blast in your body. I mean…his. After all this swap is permanent.

[love-toxin]

this may seem outlandish.. foolish, even… but i bring you, as an offering, the concept of SCARYASS SUB YANDERES!?!?!?! i’ve had this idea in my mind for sooo long and my god it’s been driving me insane. i think it works well just because of the inherent obsessive, frightening nature of yans in the first place? it’s scary, the way they’d do anything for you. kill people for you, abandon everything they know for you, die for you. it’s terrifying. and sooo fucking hot.

specifically eddie and steve…. my god. My God. they’re both just drooling over you, and grovelling for even an ounce of your attention. whimpering and begging by your feet like dogs… its food for thought, eh?  

at first you’re scared of them. they’re always lurking somewhere, far away that they think they won’t be noticed, but they are. you know they’re there. creeping around the bushes, just out of the corner of your eye. they’re always there. changing their schedule when they don’t have any classes with you. they’re a permanent pest that’re always ogling over you. nasty ass stalkers <3. it’s even worse when you notice them beginning to team up. it was bad enough when it was just one of them cornering you, eddie offering you a spot in hellfire every day after class and steve flirting with you every chance he gets or when you stop by the family video store. but both of them? absolute menaces. 

the king and freak of hawkins?  a surprising duo! it’s unheard of. nobody would’ve ever thought of it. nobody would even believe you, and nobody does. and they have their eyes on you. watching you, following you, bothering you, and you’re just so scared. they won’t leave you alone, and nobody seems to believe you, either. they’re just so big, and you’re so small. steve’s always been strong, you know that, and you’ve seen it too. playing on the sports team, roughing around and fighting constantly, you know what he can do. and just because eddie’s thin doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have height. he’s so fucking tall. and not to mention his reputation? even before the whole chrissy incident, he’s had a reputation of being a monster with connections outside of the school. (it’s only reefer rick, but he’s not gonna tell anybody that.)

you try your best to avoid the two of them, but you can’t. not anymore, at least. one of them is always shepherding you into the other. eddie padding behind you after school, and steve always so conveniently positioned. and one day, eddie’s hounding you after school. he’s not stopping either, chatting you’re ear off. you’re not even talking back, just trying to get away from him. schoolbooks clasped tight to your chest, looking at the ground, and he’s just bouncing behind you. you don’t even realize where, and it’s dark out now, how long have you been out? 

you’re immediately snapped out of your thoughts when you hear steve. eddie’s laughing, of course he is, and steve’s cooing at you. you back up, but there’s nowhere else to go. let’s say you’re in the woods, right where eddie does all of his deals, and you have nowhere else to go. you’re trapped in between the both of them, their eyes dilated to the max, and you’re about to cry. 

they’re going to kill you. that’s your only thought, and you start to sob. you close your eyes and wait for something to happen but… nothing does? they back up and give you space. steve’s freaking out, instincts kicking in from having to watch the kids for years, and eddie’s the same, if not worse. 

they’re… pampering you. it’s weird. eddie’s on his knees, grasping at your hand and kissing at your hand trying to make you feel better- to fix his wrongs. steve’s rapidly shooting out questions, “are you okay?” “what’s wrong?” “who hurt you?”

and honestly… you kind of like it. both of the two biggest, baddest guys in hawkins reduced to simpering little idiots? it's a nice change.

Holy shit this is long as fuck. apolocheese.

A-ANON, ANON!!!!!!! YOU......YOUR BRAIN........SUB YANDERE STEDDIE + ANGELFACE.....IM ON MY KNEES.....

ok. breaking this down. the individual stalking aspect: fucking gold. you have both men constantly in your peripheral, Eddie and Steve both fighting for as much time as they can possibly spend with you, and being absolutely nasty stalkers in the process. coming home after a long day of avoiding them both and finding your drawers raided, your cassettes out of order with a couple missing, maybe even your sheets wrinkled and smelling a bit of sweat like someone's been laying in your bed.

maybe one day you walk through the halls at school one day and see Eddie with a bloodied nose, Steve with bruises around his neck and his wrists, and the two guys who usually don't even acknowledge each other are glaring daggers at each other the whole day. but when the marks fade and heal, you start seeing them get a little closer....and they often do so while watching you. when they start sharing those smarmy grins and whispering to each other as they pass by the other in the hallways, that's when you start to really worry.

and you're right, nobody will believe you. the only noticeable change is Steve flirting with you whenever he sees you at school or when you're at the video store, and you should consider yourself lucky. why don't you just go out with him? give the poor guy a chance at least, since he's so nice to you? but the people telling you that don't know how invasive he is, they don't know that you've spotted him hanging around your house late at night and seen him glare down anyone who talks to you. and they don't know that when he leans in close to whisper into your ear, the dirtiest things come out of his mouth that only you can hear. "I just wanna rip that little top off you" and "wish I could fuck you over this counter, sweetheart" and "meet me in the back and I'll make you fall in love", things that make you scurry away from him as fast and as soon as you can manage, leaving him shaking his head and smirking at the back of your head because you're so, so cute when you're playing hard to get. but obviously he needs to be a little more direct.

Eddie, at least, is slightly more believable. but he's much, much sneakier, and way more subtle about his advances than Steve. he's more of a menace--always on your heels every perceivable second of the day, running you ragged with questions and mindless chatter that you never can seem to get away from. and it's not just talk, either--he's always using his stature against you, boxing you against your locker or the picnic table out by the woods, drawing his lips close to yours like he's gonna force a kiss out of you, only to breathe softly against them as he asks you again if you'll join Hellfire. don't you wanna spend some more time with him? he'll even give you a private lesson on D&D, just for you, the cutest student in the whole school. you have to push on his chest to get him to even lean back, before you duck out of his reach and dash away, and he's too giddy from having you touch him to even worry about you getting away and telling someone he was being a creep.

and when he gets you back in the woods after school, corraling you like a little lamb towards the jaws of the wolf, Eddie can't help but have a spring in his step. he can't wait for this one.

when you see Steve waiting there by the trees, leaning against the trunk of one, you immediately back up. but you come to a stop when you hit Eddie's chest, and with a quick glance over your shoulder to make sure he's not gonna get out of the way, you turn your gaze back to see Steve approaching you and fear starts knocking your knees. Eddie holds your shoulders from behind to keep you from running, and when Steve gets close enough to lean down real close to your face, his hand on your chin, the tears spill out of you and you hiccup those choked-up words: "please don't kill me..."

the air changes almost immediately. Steve shakes his head like he can't believe you just said that, his eyes soften, and a "never, baby" escapes him. meanwhile, Eddie turns you around by the shoulders so you're facing him instead, and drops to his knees so he's tilting his head all the way back to look up at you. he grabs your wrist in a strong hand, and pulls your arm closer--and he nuzzles your palm with his face, kissing along each knuckle and all five fingertips while his other hand is braced on your thigh. Steve wraps his arms around your midsection from behind, and coos those sweet words in a reassuring tone "are you okay? did someone hurt you? sweet thing, don't have to be scared of me, okay?"

it shouldn't be so comforting, so satisfying to have them both whimpering for your approval, but it is. they'll do anything to pull that smile out of you, and as soon as they get one, they'll both relax and get even cuddlier in your presence. even though they're the ones who scared you in the first place, and they're the ones who have such an unhealthy attachment to you....but you've been suffering under their thumb for so long, would it be so bad if you took a little bit back from them? torture them a little to get what you want? that seems like more than a fair exchange for the hell they've put you through.

#yandere eddie munson #yandere steve harrington #yandere eddie munson x reader #yandere steve harrington x reader #yandere steddie x reader #eddie's angelface #steve x reader x eddie #st 4 #yandere stranger things #ellie writes #anons #under 1k

[fairycosmos]

hey chloe, i’m really struggling today and i dont know how to carry on living. could you tell me about your day to distract me? also if you know any magic cures to pure suicidal self loathing please lmk <3

so so sorry to hear you're struggling, my lovely. i know words never really put a dent in these feelings when youre in the thick of them but i did want to let you know i get it and i don't blame you for being exhausted and at your wits end and i would be happy to tell you ab my day as a distraction. it was a WEIRD one! i woke up feeling depressed as fuck and super disconnected from reality but i had to go give a presentation at a university building in the city as a part of this job hunting process that im currently doing and it took like 2 weeks worth of mental energy to get up there in front of people not even being dramatic ive been so fucking insane in my head about this. i was thinking of my sister a lot during it all wondering what she would think of me doing it LOL. then on the way home someone stole £20 from me and then someone ELSE kicked my backpack on the train and smashed the bottle of wine i had in there and i was very close to crying but didn't. then i got home and took my pill and listened to music and made dinner which was a chickpea curry and gave my dog some of the treats she was begging for. and since then ive just been sitting and blogging and breathing and i still feel like shit, but the feeling is constantly moving, constantly proving itself not to be completely permanent the way it wants to convince me it is in my lowest moments. i am really sad right now but not enough to kill myself and that is improvement. while there is no magic cure to suicidal self loathing there is the knowledge that you're not alone in this and that no feeling is final and that you deserve better than this even if the thought feels completely fake and foreign in your head. verbalising what you're going through, learning to identify what triggers you, building a crisis plan and a support network for yourself.....none of it is easy or a straight up solution and none of it is really enough, but it is something, it is proof that where you are isn't where you'll always be. as cheesy and as horrible as it is to feel and admit and know. i am gonna leave some links to a few resources that recommend some great coping mechanisms - again, not cures - but if you let them in they can be enough to get you through. it's ok if youre not ready for that right now and need to come back to it later, there is no rush or timeline. just know it'll always be here if you need it and i care very much about your wellbeing, and i believe in your ability to manage and live alongside these feelings even it seems like a complete impossibility in this moment. sending a massive hug, please please look after yourself. X

resource / resource / resource/ resource / useful hotlines

#tw suicide #anon

[elvencantation]

damsel liveblog

tbh my forward arrow fingers are itchy so im gonna be skipping through a lot of this

okay that opening quote was just tacky. we get it. we've seen the previews. youve made the point with the movie title

dude youve brought like twelve people to kill a dragon?? how badly do you want to die?

ooooooo i do love some mushroom arthictecture!! gimme more pls

also love how the fire almost looks liquid in some spots. or maybe thats the melting armor

oh look she's cutting wood she's not a regular girl

they did pick the right task tho chopping wood is kinda hot (see that one canadian lady on instagram)

why does her maidservant already annoy me? its cute theyre holding hands tho

i like their furs. giving stark family vibes

queen of aurea?? seriously??? queen of gold with ships of gold? how on the nose??? or is that the point

srsly giving reverend mother vibes with the 'your holiness' and matchmaking. or maybe ive just got permanent dune brainrot that's closer to the surface after seeing pt2 twice in imax

oooooo cool hair!!

WAIT THATS HER LITTLE SISTER? oh okay the side by side shots make more sense now

more cool hair i wanna see closer!!! and cute sibling interaction

OMG THIS LOOKS SO COOL I WANNA GIF IT

screen recording aquired, will link when i gif

i'd be annoyed at the parent's reactions to aurea if i didnt think about just how much it weighed on them to not be able to provide for their people

i need to take a break and go walk mom's dog

back after that and yummy dinner and just hanging out in bed with puppy and re-reading star wars time travel fics

love how the mountains are immediately ominous behind the beautiful manicured gardens and the stately if a little smudgy castle

AHA THERES THE HAIR!! WHAT BEAUTIFUL BRAIDS IM OBSESSED

lovely balcony and once again, ominous mountains! so pretty so pretty

also yes i know this is pretty basic symbolism but having her in full sunlight and the other girl in shadow? *chefs kiss* i love it every time

girlie why you drawing a labyrinth? i thought she was journaling or something

GOD I LOVE ROBIN WRIGHT. I WANNA SEE HER EVIL

excited to see what the labyrinth will be. boy be calling it a maze smh

awww i do love a good horse ride!! and they match! too bad he's about to toss her into a chasm like a sack of sacrificial potatoes

oh no did they brainwash her poor dad?? also my god stepmom is on fire with the braids and outfits

the cracks are starting to show. but seriously, forgetting the name of the girl youre about to sacrifice?? thats just plain rude

ahhh here's the scene i saw like five times on instagram

oh god please dont make the corset weird please dont say anything weird about it P L E A S E for the love of marzi!

did they give her a bodice dagger?? or was that just the sheath? i love it

ahhhh i do enjoy some nature inspired jewelry!!

also the red cloak!!! lovely

pretty pretty pretty!!!

ahhh the creepy gold masks theyre so intricate!!!

and robin is now a reverend mother too

ooooo what a pretty shot and i want her jewelry wow

ahhhh i do enjoy how subtly uncomfortable the prince looks

aha there we go. now the fun can begin!

oooooo look at all those coins

also a very pretty shot!

oooooooo i need to gif this bit too

WAIT THE DRAGON TALKS?!?!!?

my god the voice is stunning

MAGMA DRAGONFIRE THIS IS GORGEOUS (pausing for more screen recording)

looks like the maw of a dragon!!!

wait im sorry why's the other girl burnt and dead if its only 'once a generation'???

avenging angel vibes pls continue

ok yeah so it was only a sheath. too much to ask for for them to give her an actual weapon

what the heck was in that pretty filigree egg thing?? also i want one. its so pretty. i mean i know it was some kind of scent. convenient that it burns like a lamp XD

wow this movie is just feeding me lots of pretty visuals tyty

good thing girlie's got lots of upper arm strength from chopping wood!

yeahhhh make a bioluminescent lamp!!! and double win, she got rid of the second sleeve. much better now

wow im gay

magically healing bioluminescent non-oceanic nudibranches??

thats my new indie band name btw

please tell me shes taking some magic slugs with her. youre gonna be climbing spikes pls bring some healing with you

such pretty stabby crystals!!

once again looking like a maw. though this time more like the maw of a sandworm ;)

"three were taken three must be given" ???? excuse me

ah. they were dumb enough to anger a mama dragon. they deserve to die

tell me her dad aint gonna get him and his men killed

also damn she made it all the way up just to have to come back down

oh we finally get to see the dragon!!! goddamn. she looks like a scaly gryfon i like it

dont you guys dare kill the dad off just as i was starting to like him. dont do it

yeah i guess they realized they had to redeem him so his death would have impact. rude

girl take chekhov's sword!

ohhhh this is so pretty i think i gotta screen record it too

this is some pompeii shit. oh i should watch that movie its got two hot people in it

even cooler!!!

theyre just killing everyone?? thats boring

the mulan hair thing woulve been cool if i didnt daily put up my hair in a very secure bun without any pins or hairties that only works when your hair is like mid back length at least XD

its a miracle you didnt hurt your leg with you fell elodie

oh noooooo oh god that was so awkward i cant

why is this so awkward?? whats happening

like you ever did what you were told?? whats happening? whats with the pacing, the dialogue the blocking?? w h a t

why did they have to show the queen with her crown melting off for so long??

oh they match! nice

ooooooo pretty pretty

overall kind of a fun movie. dont think i'd watch it again. still need to watch i am dragon

#damsel netflix #damsel 2024 #millie bobby brown #angela bassett #robin wright #damsel liveblog #damsel reaction #blue watches

[nobodies-png]

👋👋 this is my first time asking for something Im curious on how yandere repliku would react to his S/O being a guardian of light and would he kidnap them before the war?

ooo, welcome to the blog then! I’m just noticing that there’s quite the backlog for yandere stuff, hohohohoho 

general warning for usual yandere topics!

First, some context for the guy as a yandere! Repliku strikes me as one of the most common types - jealous, overprotective, possessive and aggressive, but oddly enough, it’s extremely easy to calm him down? Any affectionate gesture from his darling is enough to distract him from all of his anguish, even if all you do is meet his gaze and smile or pat his back. While he's starved for your attention, he knows better than to be greedy and force you to indulge him - it's way easier to keep everyone else at bay, after all. You have permanent scary dog privileges whenever you’re with him! It’s almost like having a cat that is mean to everyone except you for a pet.

But it’s very, very different if you’re actually dating him. The only thing that kept you relatively safe all this time is that fine line Repliku would never dare to cross - you are not his, so he understands that he has no right to demand your time nor attention, even if he still pouts and tries his best to drive your friends and loved ones away. But once it’s established that you are his partner, it’s fucking over for you, bestie </3.

Repliku is now your self-appointed and permanent knight in not-so-shiny armor. It gets worse the longer you date, because he stops from holding back and acts on every impulse to keep you by his side, feeling justified by your own choice to date him. You chose this. You did this. You wanted him, so clearly you’ll be okay with every measure he takes to keep you safe and happy. It’s also harder to please him now, he’s so clingy. Repliku feels entitled to every breath you take, every second you spend awake. And while his mind games have nothing on Vanitas’ guilt tripping and manipulation, Repliku still retains Riku’s keen eye - he can read you like an open book and say the right things to make you doubt yourself, make you feel like you need to depend on him.

It’s almost a miracle you wound up as a guardian of light with him orbiting around you, pulling you back every time you go somewhere he can’t follow. Repliku loves that spark within you that dares to oppose him, all so you can follow whatever bullshit you believe in about justice, light or the kindness of people’s hearts - he adores that side of you. And he’s fine if you want to be on the losing team (he’ll be there to take you back where you belong once you’re done playing around), he’s fine if you face him in battle (he’ll graciously accept every attack and scar you leave on him, marking you with his own as well). But the one thing he can’t stand is seeing people like Sora, especially Sora, breathing in the same direction as you.

That’s when it all comes crashing down for Repliku. If he sees you have a single positive interaction with Sora, he’ll lose it. It doesn’t matter if all you did was say good morning to him, or wish him luck in his adventures or just mention his name in passing conversation. Your name in Sora’s mouth is blasphemy, but for you to look so genuinely happy when talking to him? When he’s already eeryone’s favorite starchild? That’s unbearable, it’s enough to remind him that he’s not even the original copy, so there’s no way he can even compare to someone like Sora. 

What does he have that sets him apart from Riku? What does he have that makes him better than Sora? Is there anything in his made-believe life worth clinging to? Why yes, yes there is. It’s you. He has you. You and your love for him, the two things that define his entire existence. Repliku, so incredibly delusional and desperate, would absolutely steal you away way before the final encounter against Xehanort - hell, the guy would gladly leave the real Organization hanging way earlier if it meant having you locked up. He’d lure you with whatever is most efficient, maybe you respond better to threats, maybe you’ll fall for his act of begging for redemption.

Once he has you in his grasp, he’s not going to let go. He’ll provide food, shelter, entertainment and all you have to do is keep him company - hell, you can literally say anything you want or escape and fight him to your heart’s content, Repliku won’t mind. He still adores that spark in you and he’ll be there until that fire is snuffed out and all you can think of is him. Everything else is temporary - at some point, you’ll come to understand that it’s your turn to be a supportive partner. He let you play the role of hero, after all! It’s your turn to indulge him. Sure, he might lash out during particularly bad days, but never directly at you - he redirects that fury to the outside world. Sometimes, you wish it were you instead of all your loved ones.

#kingdom hearts #kh headcanons #repliku #yandere AU

[whoisfrosty]

just a silly headcanons about how my favorite bys characters write the text messages (with modern phones):

pete. pete writes many separate, small messages with mistakes. often he forgets about the "edit message" function and ends up trying to write the correct word in subsequent messages, which causes endless spam. pete also likes to send funny, cute and cool, in his opinion, videos, especially to tony. for example, how his pet dogs play with each other, or a video, where pete shows what a cool toys he built from lego

"hey tony"

"hows are you"

"ho w"

"how are your"

"how are you doung"

"i mean doing"

"im fine"

"i built one cool"

"cool toy"

"want me to show you"

"???"

tony. tony writes just like usual people from our time? i think. he uses a lot of short versions of words, words from the lexicon, and most likely looks up a lot of cool phrases from the internet to sound "cool" and "modern". most often tony writes medium or large messages, because he's very talkative and goes into too much detail. he uses text emojis

"heya wheelie ;) oh im great slick. feelin super good ngl. my old man the big tony (you know him it's my dad) made some delicious chocolate cranberry L size milkshake just for me after my bowling game. 3 strikes at a time can you believe it? my arm is gettin even stronger than before das for sure! >:D last time i played i had only 1 strike (lame i know) but i improved. its not so unbelievable tho i trained really hard you know. so yeah i expected my success today. anowhoo lets stop about me for a little while i want to see this lego thing of yours. then after it i can tell you more about my bowling success. you'll be shocked! :)"

angela. angela writes more competently than her big brother. she doesn't forget punctuation marks, writes messages that are quite normal in size, tries not to go into too much unnecessary details, and in general angela is a very good person to chat with, from whose message you don’t want to either turn off notifications on your phone or just ask to write more clearly. but, like tony, she sometimes uses words from the lexicon and abbreviations. loves to use emojis

"hiya, reese. whatcha doin'? ☺️ we haven't written to each other for a long time, maybe something happened to ya? don't be shy, you know i don't tell other people's secrets, not like my foolish brother 😒

speaking of which, he screwed up so badly at the bowling alley today, omg! i'll tell you more details, if you wanna. it's a pure comedy, that's fo' sure! 😂"

and reese. he writes small messages using polysyllabic, "smart" and rarely used words by other people. basically, reese doesn't like to write text messages, he prefers more live communication, because this way reese can see and feel all the emotions of the person. live conversation is much more interesting, isn't it?

"Good day to you too, Angela. Please, don't be so worry about my persona, i'm doing quite fine. The problem is, i caught a light cold not so long time ago - this is why i didn't texted you. But now i feel great. What about a little walk right now? During it, you can tell me another story about Tony's permanent failures."

#backyard sports #backyard sports headcanons #tony delvecchio #pete wheeler #angela delvecchio #reese worthington

[mukuberry]

regarding Haruka: why don't you believe the brother theory?

Ok so the brother theory I've seen spoken about the most is the "Haruka is jealous of his younger brother and the love he gets, so Haruka kills the things he loves and in the end, the brother himself" so I'm basing this around that, if there's any other form of this theory feel free to bring it up 👍

So at the start of the mv we see Haruka sitting in his childhood home, looking in a mirror, before his perspection of himself starts to flash between himself and his younger self. They look extremely similar, with 4 noticable differences, 1) the younger version is well... younger, probably around 8? 2) He has a brighter colour scheme 3) He looks alot happier 4) He has a light permanently shining on him. The image outside the window changes from a normal looking tree and sky (current Haruka) to the sky we see his memories later on (young Haruka). After his reflection rapidly changes, Haruka falls back in suprise, into what I'm calling the "Ocean of memories" cause it sounds cool as heck.

You could argue that the reason they look similar and the reason he sees his 'brother' in the reflection is because he envies him and wants to be him which- fair enough makes sense. BUT I'm not swayed yet. I think Haruka envies his younger self alot, if we look at his current life he's completely and utterly alone, his mother has abandoned him (as we see later on), he's in a pretty shitty place right now (in his life i am not judging his childhood home im sure its great. He constantly says in his mv that he wants "to be a pitied and loved weakling", something which child him was. Sure, he was still verbally abused and his father still had abandoned him, but his mother was still with him and he was still able to make friends with other children (seen later in mv). All Haruka wants is to not be alone, and child him isn't. Because of this, the younger version of him looks brighter and happier, because current Haruka can't really understand why he wouldn't be, also in many cases, when a child is born into an abusive home, they don't really understand that whats happening is wrong, they repress the abuse, make excuses from it, dissociate from it, so it makes sense that younger Haruka was genuinely happier than current Haruka.

After falling into Memory Ocean, he sees alot of things from his childhood: drawings, his dog and his mother and younger self walking. Younger Haruka looks pretty happy again here :D, and current Haruka, filled with envy, stops the memory to push him down. When younger Haruka falls into the water, current Haruka takes his place, which doesn't make much sense to me if they were different people. Haruka in the Memory Ocean now looks upon his younger self with a young girl of the same age, watching fireworks together and holding hands, before current Haruka reaches out to her and he's seen laughing over her dead body.

It's not really clear why he killed her, however I believe it was to stop her from leaving and forgetting him. As he reaches out to her, he says "I just had to make sure". She's the only person excluding the mother and Haruka in this mv, so I assume he doesn't talk to or interact with people very often, and I'm pretty sure he didn't go to school, I feel like once the firework event was over they wouldn't see eachother again. We're also never shown his father in this mv, however it's mentioned in the interrogation cards that Haruka 'disappointed' him and that Haruka loves him. It's safe to assume that his father left when he was very young, which probably left Haruka with a huge fear of abandonment. As to why it was current Haruka killing her instead of younger Haruka? A mix of 2 things. 1) As said before, children block traumatic memories out and dissociate from them. Before the murder, the girls face was censored, after the murder her entire body and surroundings were. The mv has alot of this- more traumatic things are completely censored out, but everything is overall weird, things are missing or out of place, discoloured or stuck together unnaturally, like Haruka is trying to piece his memories together. The only places that aren't like this are the room he's in at the start and the bed he wakes up in, when he's not in his memories. That's why current Haruka is doing the murder, he can't remember his younger self actually doing it, so he puts current him in place. It also ties back to his envy of his younger self, it's kind of hard to be envious of someone for how happy they are if you see them muder someone while crying, so he just changes the killer from younger him to current him.

Haruka falls through the Ocean of memories again, before finding a memory of younger him with his mother playing with his childhood dog. His dog runs off into the forest, and younger Haruka runs after him. Something interesting is that he's nervously walking through the forest in one scene, then he's out of breath in the next, rubbing sweat of his forehead. He looks down at his hands and sees them covered in blood. If it was his younger brother, why would he be out of breath and why does he have blood on his hands?? I think Haruka himself makes this connection, as when he sees the blood, the younger him suddenly has current Harukas colour scheme, as the bright perception of his younger self starts to break and blend with his perception of himself, and his brain panics and quickly shows current him doing the murder (for reasons I said in last paragraph lol). When he murdered the girl, we didn't see the actual murder take place, just him over her body. We do however, see him murder the dog (beating it to death with a rock, wowza!) This is his brain slowly unlocking more memories, and Haruka himself slowly starting to accept his childhood as being more brutal than he first believes.

After the dog murder, he wakes up in bed again, before we see current Haruka standing in Memory Ocean, the background completely filled with bright coloutful doodles, Haruka himself is coloured completely blue. He's lost sight of who he is and who he wants to be, his idealised younger has started to fall apart completely but he's not quite there yet. He tries to reach for his mother, but unfortunately for him she's abandoned him aswell, leaving him alone. If Haruka's mother loved his younger brother, hence Haruka's envy, why would she have just left him behind aswell? Same with his father, why just leave him instead of taking him with them? Eventually the background completely fades to white, this time not because his memory is broken and repressed, but because we're at the current day. One last time, Haruka falls into his Ocean of memories, and is confronted with the memory he saw at the start, of his mother and younger self walking.

Haruka is desperately trying to piece everything together and understand why his mother and everyone else abandoned him, and he's so close to figuring it out (kind of). He focuses back on the happy face of his younger self, and instead of looking on with envy, he is absolutely distraught. One last time, he reaches out, not slowly like the previous times, but as quickly as he physically can as his emotions all explode. And he goes straight for the throat. He can't handle what he's just realised, but he can't unrealise it. He can't be that 'pitied and loved weakling' not because he is no longer a child, but because he was never loved in the first place. Despite this however, he can never stop his need to be wanted by others, and because of the verbal abuse he's faced his entire life, the conclusion he comes to at the end isn't "the people around me failed me and even though I've done terrible things, I didn't deserve what I've been through" he instead understands "I've always been a terrible person, I was unlovable from the start and always will be". The spotlight that has been stuck to his younger self finally shifts to the current him as he says and truly means "I was wrong. Yes, it was me."

TLDR: Weakness isn't a song about a boy torturing his brother due to jealousy over his mothers love, it's a song about a desperate man stuck in the past, trying to figure out why his life is the way it is, and coming to the wrong conclusion.

Sorry to the anon who asked this probably expecting a few sentences and getting an essay haha, honestly I was expecting like 3 paragraphs but while writing this I got a lil carried away, but atleast I finally have all my Haruka thoughts together ^_^

As always, obviously I could be 100% wrong about this! Milgram is about giving us little information at a time, there's no way we'd get the whole story from one mv and with his second trial video coming out soon who knows what could be revealed! If you made it this far, thanks for reading :) sorry if it's incomprehensible, most of my thoughts are

#milgram #haruka sakurai #sorry to my other anons i swear I'll respond one day ♡ #anyway time to cry what a tragic character

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

couple of disconnected thoughts but okay so like if daemons settle as a part of puberty then it is more of a process than a Moment probably even if it might look like a Moment from the outside it’s not really it’s part of like a continuum of growing, and different for everyone

also because it’s a representation of You most of the time it probably feels Right what it ends up settling as. children talk about i want this or that cool animal but i expect most people feel at least in part that when their daemon settles that it settles as the right thing. even if it’s something that doesnt look good maybe like a snake or those magisterium guards with the dogs. you’d think like seeing those daemons settle you might be like ‘damn thats me? i hate that’ but most people probably wouldnt be like that because they are like that. if that makes sense

but by no means everyone. and it’s by no means a yes/no kinda thing. it’s not you love your daemon or you hate it, relationships to self arent that simple. but i do think there are people who watch it settle and just do not feel right with that. people who are going through a trauma and feel like maybe the way theyve been for years isnt who “they really are”. they might feel like no you cant settle like this im not like this ive been warped by this outside thing. you cant settle like this, im only response to circumstances rn. you cant settle like this this is not my real self

there are also undoubtedly lots of people who try to postpone the settling. who try to stretch it. who maybe see their daemon settle and sorta know this is sorta for real like sorta feel this is sorta permanent and they pressure them just do whatever they have to until that daemon shifts again. not sustainable obviously but it’s easy to imagine

ruth wilson also says in interviews that the way she plays mrs coulter or like the headcanons she has for her theres some kinda trauma in her past. sure thats just headcanon but i share it so im just kinda gonna go with that for now

it’s not hard to imagine that mrs coulters daemon settled as something she maybe didnt entirely feel like was fair. or her. like she’d been operating just like in response to circumstances for a long time, like just playing defence basically, and now her daemon might have settled as this thing that maybe it wouldnt have if this Something hadnt happened to her (“you think you couldve been something else, someone else”)

that would make you resentful of it from the beginning. and also it might feel like a sort of,,, destiny. embodiment of how youve been irrevocably changed by something out of your control and now you have to live with it. this reminder of how you mightve turned out different

and at the same time try not to let it determine who you are. like mrs coulter definitely didnt do that but if you dont want to end up like her then what you have to do is not give in to like the worst possible reading you might be inclined to give to the form your daemon has taken. no animal is inherently anything but humans do give those kinda meanings to them. you might be tempted to look at your daemon that formed at a time in a way you didnt want it to and interpret its form in the least generous way. and apply it to yourself. “well now that im already bad and ruined aNYWAY” kinda thing. why not give in to your worst impulses. youve been made wrong youve got visible evidence. even if the daemon hasnt changed in response to whatever youve experienced. you’d never know for sure. you could still make that assumption

#no conclusions just vaguely connected thoughts #daemons

[satanfemme]

im really trying to find a place in my spirituality/religion/personal philosophy or whatever as an excatholique. idk. i get that it takes time and effort to find a new place in the world. but right now really i just wanna smoke a fat blunt with ol luci downstairs. any advice?

honestly? my advice is that if right now u wanna smoke a fat blunt with luci, you should literally go ahead and do that (u know, metaphorically speaking lol). try it out! see if it fits! it might, or it might not, or it might feel good now and then bad in a few weeks/months/years -- and if that happens you can just try something else out instead. nothing wrt ur personal spirituality needs to be inherent, permanent, or serious.

letting urself experiment with different beliefs/paths is hard when you're raised catholic, but ime it's the only way you're gonna find a comfortable niche! just keep it no-pressure, low-stakes. because it is. genuinely. I 100% promise. despite what the church sometimes teaches, an all loving g-d will always forgive you and welcome you back if you change your mind later or if you wanna go back at any point. and this is just my personal opinion: but most deities are like that in general too.

being a human is so hard and confusing if you get too focused on the big picture. so for now, focus on this moment. pursue however you feel in this exact moment. then stay mindful. and when the moment changes, you may notice the way you feel changes too, and then you should pursue that instead. this includes taking a break when you want to take a break, or analyzing your beliefs through a psychiatric lens if you ever notice a pattern of distress.

stay open, too. read and learn from as many varying sources as you can. different religions, sects, teachers, philosophers, etc. and be critical of those sources. ask yourself, "why do they believe this? why do they want others to believe this? who does this benefit? who might this hurt?", as well as "if I followed these teachings, who would I be? would I be the person I want to be? would I be someone else? how would I benefit? how would others benefit? could this hurt me in any way? could this hurt others in any way?" thirdly, pay attention to the other people involved in whatever you're looking at, and ask, "are these the kinds of people I want to surround myself with? are these the kinds of people I want my unaffiliated friends, s/o, or family to associate with? how do they treat people with different beliefs? how do they treat me? what do they have to gain or lose from me joining them? would they be ok if I left later on?"

and on a serious note: learn the BITE model. cults are real, and prey upon questioning people. scientology, mormonism, and jehovah's witnesses are all cults and dangerous. in the left hand path, joys of satan is a cult. the church of satan and satanic temple are not cults (afaik) but deeply flawed/harmful in fairly covert ways. individual churches/groups within an otherwise harmless religious sect can also be cults, so don't necessarily trust people based on the seemingly-safe labels they advertise. also, relatedly, please please go out of ur way to actively research antisemitism, dog whistles, and antisemitic appropriation. these prejudices are unavoidable no matter what path you look at (excluding judaism itself, I'm assuming), so you're inevitably going to encounter them again and again (and most likely already have). don't contribute to that harm.

anyways, that's a lot to process but I hope it helps. I understand how difficult this can be, myself being an excatholic occultist/devil worshiper (who still holds loose ties to catholicism anyway cause fr this shit isn't serious and it's fun to mix-n-match). and btw if ur ever really craving xtianity but don't wanna put up with the shittiness of most xtian churches, universal unitarianism is generally pretty ok and openly leftist (and not strictly xtian either, but that still kinda depends on the individual church imo).

wishing u the best of luck!

#Anonymous

[rattyarts]

i drew the rest of team margret as my oc species (mostly because i just wanted to, a little for practice drawing these species)

sugarbeans (nobody knows what their naming convention-obeying name was; i felt it was more fitting just to keep the name) is a penodir.

theyre an adult by now of course, but their story is that they were headed back to the homeworld after a successful hunt. they were about as old as penodir are allowed to get before being reset, so they likely would have been if they made it back to the homeworld.

on their way back, sugarbeans’s ship needed refuling (penodir ships take a variety of fuels, including random organic matter), but while they were gathing bits and peices, somebody refuled their ship first and took off with it.

sugarbeans had happened to land on the planet margret had set up on. at the time she only had her talons on that one planet, but would eventually expand to the rest of the solar system (still pretty dinky in this settings terms but, as far as im aware, so is only having one city). eager to have a penodir on her side, margret took sugarbeans on as her newest goon. theyve been there since. they cant exactly go back to the homeworld now, theyll be killed by the pseudodeity.

design wise, theyre supposed to give off a 2000s vibe lol.. the owo speech would also likely be a side effect of the penodir unfamiliarity with speaking.

blanche (true name bromine) was one of the first tox to leave yonrova (although tox can live for up to a billion years so that says nothing about how long ago it was). she was an athiest and was kicked out of her family (a family of preists nonetheless) household for that, leading her to leave yonrova for the wider galaxy. the dog pack, an offworld tox gang, was just begeinning to form, and picked her up (many athiest and pagan (by tox standards) join the dog pack for some form of support system). blanche was part of them for a couple thousand years, until fenrir came to power. fenrir was one of the first tox assigned as a division leader of the dog pack (it was growing exponentially and cerberus and orthus (the leaders) couldnt handle it by themselves) and over the centuries, became cruel to her pack members. she set up a blood sport akin to pitbull fights. members of her division of the pack who didnt perform satisfactorily would be thrown in an arena and forced to fight eachother, sometimes resulting in casualties. this also brought in quite a lot of money for fenrir, and the best fighters in the arena would be kept there permanently. the worst would have their teeth and claws filed down to be used as bait/training dogs. not only is this exceptionally cruel, but it violated the core tenant of the dog pack: ‘pack dont hunt/hurt pack’.

blanche was among one of the best fighters in fenrirs arena, but also ultimately the reason it was stopped. cerberus and orthus were begeinning to become suspicious of fenrir, but everything was confirmed when blanche snapped and killed and ate her.

fearing retaliation, she hijacked a small spaceship (killing its crew in the process) and ran to a secluded solar system. this happened to be the same system marget was setting up in.  the dynamic from there on is pretty much the same.

blanche is based from a lion and gets a mane because tox are sexless, it looks cool, and it means i dont have to figure out how to position her neck vertebra.

mayhem anon (shuck) is pretty much just an anon. popped out of the anon city into spacetime, joined margrets gang and the rest is history.

however, mayhem is unique in that, if she wished, she could leave without reprocussions. shes an anon with relatively few mutations in a light years wide city with a population of at least ten times the amount of members of a given species that have ever existed; it would be extremely difficult to track her down and likely just not worth the time.

(i know this drawing is terrible and i didnt manage to get the smug bastard look right)

margret is an autumn fae. she and her brother georgios (fitting the fae naming convention of names being at least three syllables long) were kicked off the fae homeworld for their crimes and dumped on a backwater planet in a secluded part of the galaxy. this would prove to be the action that would allow them to become much, much more powerful than before, eventually spreading their influence over the solar system they were dumped in.

but eventually, margret decided to get rid of georgios. she forced him to shapeshift into a pickle jar and welded him into an iron box. it has a little window so she can talk to him if she wishes, so george can technically escape, but the moment he shapeshifts into something with flesh to burn he’ll be horribly and painfully burned by the iron.

These are FANTASTIC omg. Makes me so happy when people decide to stick my characters in another setting and making their own interpretations of them.

I especially love how Margaret resembles her human design, that’s so fun!

#submission #notmyart

[hammerheadgirl]

i emailed my high school english teacher the other day

sinuses worsen and the sentiment festers! in other words, the microphones/ mount eerie sound good again.

feeling pulled by the tide. im drifting yet swimming for a cause but im aware it'll be fruitless in the end. this ocean is huge, guys!

feeling so ick that I called in for an appointment with the psych and inquired about the shrink. help!

ive been so good at backfloating down the stream with nothing in my hands but cool, running spring water. now the emptiness is flipping me out a little maybe! what do i hold on to? what if i want to stand up for a second? how deep is this pool anyways???

it feels like the rivers and streams are intertwining. yes im repeating but it's funny because what i was about to say is that every experience and feeling is both fleeting and permanent. it's all cyclical! it all returns to me like a meandering stream that got bored. im gonna go look for a therapist soon.

i feel like im living in dissonance. feeling like i don't like who i am but who else is there to be? what exactly is wrong with me, you ask? im thinking and ive concluded im mainly annoying (umbrella term). how do i even start changing that? im gonna work on that doc for myself about how to be a better human: introspection and mentalities.

last night I dreamt my (nonexistent) nudes got leaked and im pretty sure my dream self dealt with that pretty well considering the situation. there's something to be said about that!

been thinking about physical sensations lately. like I can pet the air and vividly feel soft stuffed animal fur on my skin. wanted to talk about how i miss my dogs jumping on my shins as I enter the house. there's other sensations too. i think touch is my strongest out of the 5 senses and i think that im right.

gonna explore now

#yapping #bow wow #lewis and clark

[lonespektr]

OCTOBER 5TH HORROR WATCH

Talk to me (2023)

Wait this is Australian?

I have no idea WTF just happened.

How old are these kids supposed to be?

Not lil sugar

Injured roo - do they not effup card like bucks

Couldn't do ett

Jeeezus violent family

No subs im tired and this accent

I'm going to miss this dialogue y'all

Oijua board shit common at parties i seriously can't tell what age they are supposed to be

And they don't believe she saw something but they are confident they can be easily hypnotized??

And they are confident weird things will happen???

Do they think they are just high??

How do they explain the phenomenon

What am i missing???

Axolotl!!!!! 😃😃😃😃😃

She's a bad big sister

Mom is not playing

Where did they get the hand

Brick wall

But yea it's hardly a party there are less than ten people

This is a hang at best

Hand rumors

Now there are questions

Is he belted in

There's like a moosh of ages

Great acting from everyone

This spirits a cunt 🤣🤣

Wow as much as i have heard about the film can't believe nobody spoiled that one

Ambitious scene there

Odd cuts

Yo i thought he left

Dude also a bad sister

The popular kid bully concept is always... interesting i think at best in only hinges on if they have access to shit, in this case the hand

Nasty work having the mom pop up in the kid

And then you move away okay rebound

Didn't get the eye

Keep going like this on the trangressive end

Now who's this?

Are those dual hitaachie?

Ofc she has it

They are still at the hospital

Oof

Why play with her if shes not interested he's already friends with protag?

Mom blames her specifically. I feel like that's against her initial characterization and she would blame everyone, her first but everyone else too

Thot dog, what a way to jump start career

Tiny statues

He's already said it "They read what we think"

Dated prior when dating doesn't mean anything because they are kids

Okay she's mad at her too

Wait I'm trying to remember the first thing the ghost said

She likes you?" Like protag likes lil bro? Via ghosty?

Where's youngin?

Who the heck is that odd cgi

Oh he right there

She's the only one we've seen with residual effects

That will fix it

They are jumping face first into the addition analogy

Well i guess i mean jumping into it quickly as an very quick downward spiral

Who?

Parasitic in how souls are said to glum on

Brain damage too?

Ooo bit permanent possession and suicide attempts

She really letting him

Yea trangressive

this particular one is almost a barley sheilded kink

Hes said he was seeing what?

This is the kid with the brother who killed himself ?

She got on

They all did

They are all blaming her

The candle

They gon let her do it on her own

Hows he gonna do the invite?

I don't think, that's how it works?

Who that kid?

No timer?

Whoa she said i let you in whoaaaa

Okay internal state is torture and torture looked vaguely like an orgy

Lots of links to sex and violence

Secret mom note

Lol they didn't actually show them blow out the candle.

Suicide note.

This is actually great framing for a thing to watch out for suicide awareness folks if your very depressed person is suddenly uplifted and vibrant (and maybe giving away their shit) if it's a 180 like that, they may have decided to off themselves and are feeling lighter and freer because they are letting go.

Oh they are playing her like a fiddle "he's lying"

Oof this is a lot now on an addicted person yes they can rip through lives but jeebus

Annd full hallucinations they got her to off her dad

Now the number one person she loves

I love when movies do the thing when they have the person apologize for being wrong at the exact moment something changes and now the person is right about them.

We were already primed with the roo and i forgot

Great work on that

Damn he's still alive

Traffic

Oh now it is a full loop

Another cut

Another cut? No same one

Ok i,m confused

It was a good ending but we are literally missing a whole chunk like you needed to wrap that last story before you hit us with the kicker

Kids gonna keep trying kids gonna keep dying

This was a hard chemical argument

There was no off ramp

No hope

No wrong turn

It was a one and done, no hope after

One time and you don't know up from down

There are definitely a few reads on this that are bad like at least 2 or 3 that are offensive

I don't think that was the intention i think it would have been metter to mitigate them by making different choices

#talk to me #graywatchhorror23

[perfectsoyeggz]

Stardew Valley fanfic im planning! Heres what I have planned out/written so far:

Main character: Jonathan (Johnny) Pike

- 29

- He/Him

-Bisexual/Demiromantic

- 5'9"

Birthday: Fall 27(? Cant remember)

Likes: Dogs, scavanging, woodwork, simple clothing, sleep, heat/summer, music

Dislikes: Birds, small talk, cold/winter

Facts: occasionally smokes, used to have curly hair at a young age, when he lived in Zuzu city he occasionally played in a local neighborhood band, takes depression meds

Appearance: Lean but has a little bit of belly chub, dark brown hair (you can really only see its brown in the sunlight), dark brown eyes, long hair that goes down to his shoulder blades (its a bit messy, but when done properly its wavy and has a bit of volume), spotted with permanent sun spots all over but especially his arms and back, has decently sized hands and can easily grab his tools.

Everyday outfit: wears a clean white T shirt with dark blue jeans and brown boots, wears his hair either in a low pony tail, or in a messy bun

Story plot:

Jonathan woke from another nightmare, one where he kept running and running with no end, a constant dread, but no threat to be seen. Ever since his Papaw passed he felt a constant restless feeling. Finding the letter he gave to him when he was just 18, as a graduation gift, he opens it and discovers the deed to Pike Farm, residing in Stardew Valley.

Jonathan used to visit with his parents when he was younger, running around the farm and attending local events were a staple of his childhood.

Although Johnny wanted to go, there was something, or someone holding him back, but he had to go, his life in the city was miserable and his depression wasnt letting up, even with meds.

1st day

Johnny was a quiet man, but tried his best to be friendly with the red haired woman blabbering on about home renovations. Her name was Robin, another man named Lewis was suppose to have come along, but had business to attend to, so only said a quick hello before running off.

The two eventually come to a stop before an old withering home, it showed its age, but looked recently retouched.

Robin turned and smiled at the man, "So... what do you think Jonathan? I know its not much of what it used to be, but it should be livable for the time being"

Johnny knew he had to be careful with his words, "Well.. it is something alright, I think itll suit me fine for right now" he gave a polite smile, "Thanks.. Robin was it?" He inwardly cringed for already forgetting the carpenters name, but felt relief when she gave him a hearty smile,

"You'll get the hang of it, luckily this is a small town, you'll know everyone's names by the end of Summer"

He chuckled a little at the claim, considering he knew how badly he forgot things, but took the woman's words regardless.

After a few minutes of chatter, Robin checked her watch, "Shoot, I was suppose to help Demetrius with some gardening. Im so sorry Jonathan I gotta go" panic rising in her voice.

Jonathan gave the panicked woman an assured smile, "its alright Robin, I have things to do anyway, thank you for you help"

She sighed in relief, and quickly bid her goodbyes before running off.

Johnny didn't have much to pack, the heaviest thing he owned was probably the blow up mattress, but soon realized Robin and Lewis had already set up sleeping arrangements for him.

"So well for the mattress.." he scoffed as he set his stuff on the nearby table.

Deciding to take a stroll through town, he decides to leave the introductions for later, he needed some quiet time.

(Event)

Runs in Leah and Haley, who were hanging out near the river, taking photos with Haley gossiping about drama in the nearby town, Leah quietly listening as she whittles a small figurine.

Significant dialogue

"Yknow if it werent for the clothes you might actually be cute" before Leah could say anything to the rude girl Johnny pipes in

(Insert something funny Johnny says)

(After the event)

After the walk Johnny takes the path up near a ranch, where he sees a small child playing by herself, figuring her parents must be somewhere nearby, he moves along up to his farm.

The pathway up was covered in decaying logs and bushes, making it extremely difficult for the inexperienced man to get through, he eventually makes it though, and heads up to his home only with a few splinters and scratches.

Earlier he had planted the parnips Mayor Lewis gave to him, and so far everything looked okay with them. He never farmed before except for helping out his grandpa when he was younger, but he still wasnt sure what exactly he should be doing.

"Maybe I should check if theres a library.. there should be something there" he mumbled to himself as he dragged himself in the house. That would be a job for tomorrow however, the busride from Zuzu, the introduction to Lewis, Robin, Haley and Leah, planting and watering his first crop, plus the walk home; tired him out more than anything.

He lazily kicked off his boots, and climbed into the suprisingly comfy bed, he quietly hummed as he pulled the comforter over him, absorbing the comfort it gave him, despite the fact still wearing his t shirt and jeans, but thatd be a problem for tomorrow.

~~~~~

Very heavy wip I know, but once I get more written I'll make another update; in the meantime, my A03 account is Neon_toast !

#stardew valley #fanfic #current wip #writing #stardew harvey #stardew oc

[patchworkghost]

its 5 am I dont have work today but im awake because my dog decided not only to wake me up but throw up in my bed right next to my head so now im laying here with no sheets cause theres a wet spot where I lysoled the bed but also im laying here cause i still have back pain cause its taking forever to heal & Ive just been like low key crying at work every day because I cant stand going because I either fear hurting myself AGAIN AGAIN or having to tell people no constantly cause no I cant do that sucks you are backed up but im not injuring myself permanently to get a crappy pay check & no health insurance Im job hunting but LITERALLY everything is part time cause no place thats decent wants to hire and everything wants part time so they dont have to give beneifits also being at work again I come home and im honestly to tired to focus on filling out more applications for shit jobs i dont want and again dont want to give me anything or only part time so why bother and finally after crying again today at work I realized being injured fucked up my schedule so hard ive been forgetting to take my meds which isnt helping since im already unstable given ive been injured & either doing nothing or going to work where I got injured I CANT EVEN HEL P my mom out around the house much which makes me insane and heck even myself my sink is messed up but i havent fixed it cause of injury so even washing my hands has been a hassle my rooms a mess & I want to cry every time i drop stuff on the floor cause it means i have to bend again

Ive been keeping away from my hobbies for the most part too cause this job gave me carple tunnel as well as back pain so ive been MEGA depressed from that on top of everything

I just want to leave but that would basically fuck over everyone at my job and make everyone else look at me like omg what a piece of shit typical mental ill bitch isnt working again even though ive been steadily working since recovering years ago it makes me low key wish id get injured a bit again so I can just say well damn not for me I must leave right tf now sajghdakjhgjasdhg people like oh no if you dont work you will be at home depwessed like NO OPPOSITE IF IM HOME ILL HAVE TIME TO HEAL & JOB HUNT & NOT FEEL LIKE KMS everyday

I literally even job searching is just reminding me how whats THE FUCKING POINT all im gonna do is waste most of my life working my bones to the dust and wasting my mental energy & even when im off I havent been doing hobbies due to pain FROM WORKING & even if i was healthy my friends are busy at work like I get to see my BF a whopping maybe 4 hours maybe 6 if we push staying up late a week cause he has work all the time and gets off late evening and its like yay were together till we just fall asleep cause he has work in the morning

fuc k dude I hate everything Need a job that pays minimum $40 an hour for me to not kill myself

#long as ramble rant because ive been depwessed lately and i woke up cause my dog threw up right tf in my bed #& im sick of being injure Im sick of my job IM sick of job hunting im sick of capitalism !

[artguymax]

max n frankie ep.1

INT - One Bed, One Bong, Two Buds - early evening

There’s giggling and the sound of a bong bubbling. Lofi beats play in the background. It’s chill inside, chilly outside, and the sun is going down. MAX n FRANKIE grind bud, pack bowls and rip bong while they chat. 

MAX

     (gooped n gagged)

K wait, seriously?

FRANKIE

Yup! It had never happened before, hasn't happened since but that day it fuckin’ happened and it changed me on a cellular level man. 

MAX

Okay I’m gonna need a minute to integrate this info into your file.

FRANKIE

My file? Not my permanent record! Now I’ll never get into a good school. This is gonna ruin me. 

MAX

You’re gonna need a good reference letter now pal. And it’s gonna have to be from like, Blue Ivy herself.

FRANKIE

Oh my god or Venus AND Serena Williams. Tell me more about this brain filing system of yours? I’m intrigued. 

MAX

Oh sure! Yah, I like to think of my brain storing information like my computer does and each person I know has their own file. Each file has a bunch of shit in it. There are basic facts like what job someone is working or where their hometown is, were they raised christian or nah? There’s the general vibes i feel when im with them like, “silly and a bit reckless” “giddy and spiritual”  “horny and confused” “completely myself”. Umm, oh! There are personal observations like “really passionate about blank, but doesnt have much family support”  “fabulous kisser, horrible fucking garbage breath” “is really sweet until disagreed with hashtag beware the beast”. Some of the files are buried deep cuz i don't open them so much, but some i keep right on my desktop for easy access. Your file is definitely on me desktop, and must definitely be updated.

FRANKIE stops whatever they may be doing and smiles @ MAX. They hold each other's gaze for as long as they’re both comfortable.

FRANKIE

What else is in my file besides hashtag beware the beast? 

MAX

That’s not in your file. Okay let me pull it up. 

(closes their eyes) 

Well it’s pretty smokey in here and the lighting is correct. Your file is a vibey hot box. I have your birth chart as a big poster up on the back of the door, and a great tapestry on the ceiling that’s a map of the neighby hood and the walking route from my house to yours is marked out in stars. There’s a huge couch made out of hundreds of books that’s deceptively comfortable. The floor in front of the couch is covered with a prickly rug of your fuzzy hair but it's not gross its cool and cute. In the middle of it all there's a big round glimmering coffee table that's the exact colour of your eyes. 

FRANKIE is blushing and suddenly doesn't know what to do with their hands. They’re both quiet for a while. It’s not necessarily awkward, they’re pretty high.

MAX

I also have a file for my dead name self. My she/her days if you will. I mean really more like my she/her years.

FRANKIE

May I ask, what’s in that file?

MAX

(MAX smiles, they like the way it feels to be spoken to politely)

You may ask, and I may tell you- I mean I will tell you. I want to tell you, so I will… tell you. Um, there’s… 

MAX looks around the room as if looking for this file. It seems to be one that's buried deeper. MAX closes their eyes and takes a deep breath. This description doesn’t come out as easily as the others.

MAX

(Continuing with eyes closed.)

There’s a long wooden shelf filled with oversized shiny trophies mounted on a wall covered with too many certificates. The edges of the space are lined with piles and piles of seventeen magazines. All the quizzes are filled out. There’s a giant hologram of my childhood family dog sleeping at the foot of my bed and then waking up and hurling on my duvet then eating it then going back to sleep that plays on repeat. I can kinda smell the yarf. The floor is made of faded wood but it’s not polished and every once and a while there’s a nail that’s sticking out so shoes are necessary. In the middle of it all there’s a burning hot spotlight shining on an impossibly long ‘To Do’ list that’s being crossed off and added to by a petite professional pressed purple elf with jingly jangling bracelets and clicky clacky acrylic nails, poppin’ their bubble gum and getting shit done. 

MAX keeps their eyes closed for a few moments after they’re finished speaking. FRANKIE smiles and rubs their hand on their chest showing us where this offering is felt. 

FRANKIE

Thank you for sharing that with me.

MAX

Thank you for asking. And for listening. You’re a really great listening- Listener! 

FRANKIE

Oh wow thank you for saying that. 

MAX

Do you not think that you’re a good listening? (this time on purpose) 

FRANKIE

According to Kirsten I’m laughably bad.

MAX

Are you fucked? 

FRANKIE

The last time I saw her she got all pissy because I wore my jean jacket on a rainy day.

MAX

She has no right to disrespect a ‘Berta Boy’s suit. Something about how people really be struggling to behave themselves in these streets.

FRANKIE

THANK YOU (laughing) I will keep wearing it in the rain just to spite her. 

MAX

You think you’ll see her again? 

FRANKIE

Ermmmm yeah probably. The next time I’m bored at 1 am hehehe 

MAX

And you wonder why she wants more from you.

FRANKIE

OK sure, but I never claimed to be a monogamous bean looking for love.

MAX

No, but most folks don’t expect a corny romantic to also be a...what does one call a non-binary slut?

FRANKIE

Great Q! Hmmmm. I need to be more high to coin a term.