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introspectivememories · 16 days

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walki with me... tommy kinard calling buck "baby"..... tommy kinard kissing buck..... tommy kinard gently holding buck's waist.... tommy kinard making buck laugh.... tommy kinard listening to buck ramble with stars in his eyes.... tommy kinard peppering kisses all over buck's face as buck blushes..... tommy kinard letting buck set the pace for their relationship..... tommy kinard calling buck "evan".... buck learning to love his own name because how can he not when tommy says it so gently..... buck sitting in tommy kinard's lap..... buck getting hurt on a call and tommy is there right away taking care of him.... buck waking up in the morning with his head pillowed on tommy kinard's chest as the sunlight streams in through the window and casts tommy in a sort of halo and his breath catches and buck is so happy he made it through his twenties and the tsunami and truck falling on him and the embolism and the lightning strike and any of other myriad of ways the universe has had it out for him because he gets to wake up to tommy motherfucking kinard in his bed as the sunlight gently cradles them in her embrace

("baby," tommy says, eyes still closed, less than two seconds later, hand brushing along buck's spine to card his fingers through buck's hair, "you're thinking too loud. go back to sleep."

buck honest to god flushes at the endearment. because that's what he is, tommy's baby. he's tommy's baby. jesus fucking christ, he feels like combusting. burying his head in his boyfriend's (boyfriend!!!) chest, buck tries not to whine.

"don't wanna," he whispers, peeking up at tommy, "wanna look at you."

tommy's other arm comes up to settle along his waist and buck wants to, fuckin', purr or whatever with how right it feels. tommy cracks open his eyelids to peer down at him.

"evan," his boyfriend (boyfriend!!!) says fondly.

and that's another thing he never knew about himself until he started dating tommy. he loves his name. not his nickname or his last name or buckaroo or any variant of that but his first name. he fuckin' loves the name "evan" or maybe he just likes the way tommy says it. and tommy has so many ways he says buck's name.

there's a soft, whispered "evan" in the mornings, and fond "evan" in the afternoons. there's an "evan" that tommy says like he's holding 3 tons of solid gold in his hands. there's an "evan" that he can barely get out through his laughs when buck bursts out with a fun fact at a wrong time. there's a choked-off, bitten, "ev-" when they're in bed at night and tommy can't believe buck is under him, gorgeous and panting. and there's the panicked "EVAN!" on a call gone wrong and there's an angry "evan" when buck doesn't take care of himself and there's a worried, two-syllable "ev-an" when he comes home with more bruises than he left with and there's-,

well the point is that there's a lot of different "evan"s that tommy says these day. he's going to catalogue them all one day. like his very own personal auditory archive. something to pull out on his off days.

"evan," tommy says fondly, "i'm not goin' anywhere sweetheart. i'll be here when you wake up. so go back to sleep, i'll be right where you left me."

and well-, buck forgets sometimes that this is a two-way street. that he may be tommy's baby but tommy's his boyfriend too. that tommy's practically required by law to be here when he wakes up. (oh by law?, he can almost hear his boyfriend snark. buck's bites the inside if his cheek to stop himself from giggling.) and more than some vague, ephemeral, Boyfriend Laws™️, tommy wants to be here when he wakes up. this is something tommy is actively choosing to do.

so when tommy says, "go back to sleep sweetheart" and "i'm not going anywhere, evan", well, who is buck to question that? he burrows deeper into the warm cocoon tommy has made, and let's his boyfriend's heartbeat lull him back to sleep.)

#are you still walking with me?#sorry about the word vomit at the end. this was supposed to be a joke post and then the bucktommy brainrot hit #nearly collapsed at work yesterday thinking about tommy calling buck 'baby'#and buck learning to love his name because of the multitude of ways tommy says it.... that's the good shit #they're endgame to me. like i still love buddie but like even if we never get buddie..... bucktommy is good for me #buck and tommy trying to hide their relationship except buck gets hurt on call one day and tommy comes running over and is so worried #he outs them. just gently calling buck 'baby' by accident in front of 118 and buck who is hurt and just wants comfort leaning into the #warmth tommy provides. well now i am just giving you a summary of 'all i know since yesterday everything has changed' by perfectlysunny #great fic btw. adore it. i rotate it in my head all the time.#911 abc #bucktommy #evan buckley #tommy kinard

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lighthouseas · 1 year

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i just think it's funny that mike's whole arc about saying i love you was done in the same season where el had to find strength in her mother saying i love you to her

#emphasis on MOTHER #the amount of miIeven + family parallels is never ending and it's just. very funny to me #but they're endgame guys because um. uhhhhh well mike loves el #totally 100%#stranger things #mike wheeler #el hopper #byler #st.txt

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licorishh · 14 days

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Replayed Modern Warfare 3 2011 on Veteran tonight and goooooooood night. Blood Brothers never gets any easier to watch no matter how many times you've done it and the ending really never misses huh

I apologize for the amount of yapping in the tags I reread it all on mobile and started giggling because it went on for so long but eh. Blessed are those who won't shut the freak up and all that

#call of duty #modern warfare 3 2011 #i just. wow. wow wow wow wow wow #i've played these three games so many times over the last several years and i just.#they literally. never get old.#loose ends and blood brothers will never not make me cry and endgame and dust to dust will never not make me smile so hard #ending it with price smoking the cigar like he did in the first mission in the first game wHEN HE FIRST MET SOAP JUST UGHHHHHH.#i know y'all don't care but i don't care that y'all don't care i could literally yap about this until i shrivel up and die #i have never ever ever in my LIFE seen poetic justice played out so beautifully like it is at the very end #JUST. WOW. WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW. WOW WOW. WOW #they do not frickin make games like that anymore DADGUM #i also forgot how frickin sad down the rabbit hole is?? like jeez louise they didn't have much screen time but gosh #i also have never in my life heard such gut-wrenching anguish from a grown man in my life like price in that one scene #I KNOW Y'ALL KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT THAT MAN MAKES ME FULL ON S O B IN THAT PART HE HAD NO BUSINESS #anyway i'll keep cutely living in denial and pretending literally any of the main characters besides price and nikolai are fine <3 #foley and dunn and their team seemed just fine at the end of modern warfare 2 so i will accept that small mercy #at this point these games have taken everything else i love away from me so #y'all probably think i'm wild for how insane i get over these games but the nostalgia bit is a big part of it as well #like they're honestly in my opinion genuinely the greatest video games of all time #but the fact that i have that connection with my dad makes it so special #crazy cause he said he also cried in blood brothers and my dad is 54 and i have seen him cry one (1) other time in my entire life #heck infinity ward but also bless them i hope the devs live long beautiful wonderful prosperous delightful exciting fulfilling lives #Lord bless them and their entire bloodline for the contributions they have made to humanity not even joking #AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE FREAKING SOUNDTRACKS DO NOT GO THERE OAUSYDJAKAKDN #MW2 AND MW3 CREDITS. EXTRACTION POINT. COUP DE GRACE. RETREAT AND REVEILLE. CONTINGENCY. PARIS SIEGE. PRAGUE HOSTILITIES. RUSSIAN WARFARE.#UGHHHHHHHGHHHH everything about these games is so unbelievably perfect and immaculate #i have got to get over my art block NOWWWWWWWWWW #makarov is also the best villain i've ever seen idc bro he's frickin awesome #i mean obviously he's horrible and a disgustingly evil human being but as a character he's stupidly well-written

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chaoticeddie · 23 days

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ARE YOU TELLING ME BUCK AND EDDIE HAVEN'T ACTUALLY BEEN TOGETHER THIS ENTIRE TIME

hsksjdks despite the child they're raising together and their extreme reactions every time the other is in danger and their extremely homoerotic scenes together, no. no they have never been together in the show.

eddie added buck to his will so that if eddie dies his son christopher goes to buck instead of his biological family. there are so many scenes in which eddie and buck go to each other for comfort and hang out raising christopher together. they went on a poker date last season after buck gained some crazy math skills after getting struck by lighting. buck tried to dig eddie out of a collapsed well with his bare hands. he dragged eddie out of an open street with an active shooter after eddie got shot. buck went to eddie's house and fell asleep on his couch after getting overwhelmed by everyone else in his life hovering after he got struck by lightning. these are just a few of the scenes where they act completely different with each other than they do with the rest of their friends and family. and yet no, they have never been together in the show.

#they're not actually together now either #but buck is canonically bi!!!#he kissed a man and he liked it!!!#he's going on a date with him next episode!!#and honestly I'm extremely happy for him and tommy #even if they ended up endgame and buddie never happened I'd still be happy #but I have never doubted this show and I'm not gonna start doubting now lol #i am more certain than ever that it's gonna happen cause it's so clearly leading that way #let me know if you give the show a shot! honestly I think it's super well written and the characters are incredible #the found family vibes are off the charts!!#911 #911 spoilers #asks #iguessyouregonnamissthepantyraid

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wellhalesbells · 4 months

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i desperately need to know what "troll the respawn jeremy" is and also hi i love you and everything you've written 🤍 (i regularly go reread the classics because they make me Feel Things)

Okay, so, "Troll the Respawn, Jeremy," is 1) a quote from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt and b) the fic I've been trying to finish in time for Halloween for like.... years now. I cleverly only remember it exists in September, add a few thousand words, subtract about a thousand even, and then inevitably fail to finish in time. It's a great system, like, absolutely no notes on that, obviously. You're killing it, brain!

I'm honestly not sure how the thought originated in my head now but I do know the prompt for it was nothing more than 'zombie!Stiles' essentially. Stiles dies and the gang brings him back and he's... not quite right. The memories are there but his emotions aren't so he's rebuilding relationships, morality, and the everyday in this new framework where the only thing to stop him being awful is essentially if it's more work or not.

When it's not dark humor, it's actively silly. There's a lot of Stiles building bonds with Erica, Boyd, and Isaac, since he wasn't very close to them before he died meaning they have the least expectations for how he should be behaving. It's a lot of Pack, figuring out how his relationship with Scott is going to evolve and Jackson coming back and Peter's curiosity naturally being piqued by this less self-righteous version of Stiles and he and Stiles and Boyd watching soap operas together because of course they would.

It's a fun one and a humorous one, even with Derek pining in the background and Stiles having to decide what his emotional responsibility for this person is and if he should be the one to police his choices or not. Because, well, there has to be twisted psychology in there, right? It's a resurrection fic, dammit!

It's also a lot of making Derek do the work too, which I like - especially when I have a good reason for it, because Stiles is all path of least resistance, so these people want him, care for him, would like him around and so he would like to be around and preferably in a way where no one's commenting on his behavior so everyone's trying to help him build boundaries, want the right things, do the appropriate action, etc. So Derek's figuring out in real time what Stiles' motivations are and learning to work within them and having exchanges like:

D: "We can’t keep fucking if I die.”

S: “Unless I bring you back. You might be more fun that way. Less with the frowny face probably.”

D: “Sounds like a lot of work for you.”

Same kind of thing with making monogamy something Stiles might want by framing it in a way that's appealing specifically to him. It's interrogating in a lot of ways what's necessary to make a relationship work. My little ace brain has questions and this is the only way I know to get answers, okay, LOL

Snippet(s):

“You gonna get all deep and philosophical on me?” The church is a tiny one and Stiles had only ducked inside to avoid, well, everyone. He hadn’t expected Boyd would follow. Truthfully, he doesn’t expect a lot of what Boyd does. He hadn’t thought about him much before he died and even less after. Follow he does though, settles into the pew ahead of and at a diagonal angle to him. Feet up on the wood next to him, arm stretched out over the back so he’s facing Stiles rather than the front. Like he’s expecting Stiles to offer the sermon tonight. Stiles blinks at him. “No, I don’t think so,” he says, when it dawns on him: “Should I?” He doesn’t know a lot about being dead, having only done it for a short time, but if he’s meant to start spewing revelations, or even Revelations, he’s willing to give it a try. “I’d prefer you didn’t,” Boyd says in his lazy tone of voice that seems indifferent to most everything around him. Stiles likes that; it sounds like he feels. “What are you doing here then?” “Isaac was around here.” It’s close to where he works, this little abandoned site of holy ground. And Stiles had kind of wanted to see if he’d taken on any vampiric dead-guy traits and couldn’t cross the threshold. He doesn’t know what the new rules are, and is starting to suspect there aren’t any. Which is about the most horrible thing he can think of. “Then his boss called, and he wasn’t, and I was bored. What are you doing here?” “Keeping an eye out.” The way Boyd says it, it sounds like, ‘figuring out how many things are wrong with you.’ “Think I’ll start eating brains?” Stiles is genuinely curious as to what the theories are. Wants to see if any match up to his own. Boyd shrugs. “Do you want to?” He sounds genuinely curious too. Stiles shrugs back. “I don’t have any moral qualms about it. But it seems like a lot of work and there’s just pretty much no way they’re as good as Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, right? It’s a bone-saw and blood and innards versus opening a plastic bag.” He weighs them in his hands. “That’s not even a hard decision to make. If I am a zombie, which I’m not conceding by the way, then I’m a zombie with some serious dietary deficiencies. I require processed foods, stat.” Boyd seems to consider this, then decides, “Cheetos would be good.” After a second, he adds, “I have Runts in my pocket.” Stiles jumps over the back of Boyd’s pew and lands hard near him, says, “Then break ‘em the fuck out, man.” Stiles steals all the banana pieces spread out on the bench between them, and relinquishes the cherry ones as penance. They don’t talk. It’s not half-bad.

(Angstier) Snippet #2:

“You’re not you,” Derek says gruffly, not meeting Stiles’ eyes when Stiles lowers his head and looks at him straight on. Derek and Stiles’ dad, they just can’t ever seem to get there. Derek says it like he thinks this is why Stiles is here and wants it out of the way. So Stiles won’t be here any longer.

“Not entirely,” Stiles agrees, tapping his fingers along the counter, the island a buffer between them. “But the basics are all there, I’m just having a hard time accessing my,” he does a half-assed robot dance, “bleep-blorp-beep morality center. I kind of think maybe because it just doesn’t exist anymore?” He grins widely. “Fucking cool, right?”

Derek stares at Stiles’ adam’s apple, glassy-eyed and blank, says without inflection, “What.”

Stiles slides into the stool at the counter enthusiastically and talks as much with his hands as with his mouth. “I mean, okay, there’s action and consequence, right? And arguably the biggest action and consequence: life and death, I defied it and now it’s like, I don’t know, I can’t appreciate that there are consequences.” He rubs a hand over his buzzed hair, back and forth, back and forth, jolting himself back into the present moment with the spiky side, losing himself in his head when he’s not fighting its natural direction and his hand hydroplanes smoothly over it. “I just don’t feel things the way I used to and that’s my best guess for why.”

It’s better than his second-best guess: that there’s still a part of him that’s dead, that the only part that ever gave a shit about any of these death-prone people/supernatural whoosie-whatsits didn’t come back with him.

Derek stares down into the depths of his cup, asks it, “Why are you hanging around Isaac?”

Stiles shrugs, staring more intently at Derek the longer Derek avoids his gaze. He can see Derek’s pulse thudding in his throat, fluttering like it’s trying to escape confinement entirely. There’s a heaviness to him that Stiles doesn’t think has anything to do with the sleep that’s still clinging to him. He looks like the weight between his hands, cradling his mug, is as draining as holding up a bowling ball with just his pinky fingers. “I’m fixing him,” Stiles answers succinctly.

Derek raises an eyebrow. “Why?”

Stiles shrugs some more. His gaze drifts down to the folds of the tank top over Derek’s stomach, he wants to flatten his palm there, smooth it out. Derek looks so warm and defenseless, leaning against his counter, barefoot and weary, defeated and just waiting for someone to finish him off. “Something to do. Plus,” Stiles adds, sly and low, “I fix him, I know how to break him.”

“You want to… break him.” It’s not a question, more like a naked declaration that wishes it were uncertain in the least. Derek’s eyes are downcast and sad.

Stiles sighs, places his elbow on the counter, drops his chin into his hand and stares at the stubble on Derek’s cheeks, can practically feel the rasp of it against his mouth. “I don’t know. Something to do.” He’s really not malicious, he doesn’t think, just easily bored and inherently curious about how other people work. Since he doesn’t seem to.

Derek drops his chin against his neck and Stiles watches a slow breath move the weight of him. He doesn’t ask for anything else, has no more comments to make, almost seems to be rejecting Stiles’ presence simply by virtue of ignoring it.

Stiles stares down at the island, lifts up his other hand. It hasn’t left behind an outline of perspiration. He rubs his dry fingers against a dry palm. Stiles’ hands sweat; they’ve always sweat.

They don’t now. Now. Now everything is scorching, burning up sweat and tears before they can even make an appearance on his skin.

He lets out a gusty breath and says quietly, but without judgment, “You shouldn’t have done this.”

Derek’s eyes close, rim of the cup against his lip, expression pained. “It was my turn,” he says softly into the steam. Stiles watches him and Derek’s head drifts to the side before he wrenches it back, jaw tight, looking in Stiles’ direction but down at his chest now, where the scar tissue is resting under the cotton of his t-shirt. “To save you.”

“But you didn’t,” Stiles tells him blankly, but not meanly.

Anyone watching would’ve thought it was an upper-cut though, the way Derek’s whole body rocks with the impact. His eyes are closed again and he doesn’t look inclined to open them, not while Stiles is still there. His hand slowly curls around the lip of the counter behind him, holds on tightly. He still answers though, through some weird sense of debt or something else Stiles doesn’t understand, but he answers, says, “I know.”

Wip list is here!

#omgosh thank you so much for the KIND THINGS #they made me giddy #i cannot explain to you how much this fic should be done and would be if it didn't only exist for me #in this one section of the calendar year lol #that is not helping it. there's also.... i don't want to fix stiles at the end #i'm much less of a 'let's make it so this never happened' person and more of a 'let's live with it' person #and i just don't know how appealing that would be to anyone but me #i already have the last scene dialogue skeletoned - like they're endgame for sure - but they're also not... perfect y'know?#because love isn't the framework for stiles anymore and i KNOW that's not gonna be easy for anyone to deal with lol #i love it but i am also a weirdo so #sterek #teen wolf #!ask #wips #my writing

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maddy-ferguson · 1 year

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Is it just me or do some Bylers reach way too hard to defend Mike for things he was objectively wrong for? Like the rink o mania thing is a perfect example, Will was not being bitchy (onscreen) at all to Mike until the argument where Mike was the one who started it by blaming Will for not telling him about El’s problems. Mike was being a huge asshole there, which even he noticed and said Will didn’t deserve the way Mike treated him. He then apologized and Will accepted it because Will knows that Mike was genuinely remorseful and that he wanted to be best friends again. I hate to say this bc 99% of the time it is deeper than it looks but for this I just don’t get how you can watch and think Will was actually in the wrong.

i do enjoy a good reach and i get not wanting one character to be 100% in the right and one character to be 100% in the wrong in an argument and i don't even think mike was 100% in the wrong at rink o mania but when you back up a bit...what did will do wrong exactly lol.

do we agree with mike that he was a douche for...not telling him that el was being bullied? nonsensical. he didn't even know she was lying to him before the airport.

was he wrong for barely talking and basically sabotaging the whole day? a day el said was supposed to be about the two of them, making will third wheel and feel like shit just like in the beginning of season 3 and for months before that? right...because that makes sense.

was will in the wrong for not calling mike and for making it sound like it was his fault they didn't keep in touch? this one i can get behind but he would have let that go (the painting being a welcome gift doesn't scream resentful) had mike not made it clear that he wasn't interested in anything he had to say by...rejecting his hug, agreeing to the whole day being about him and el, ignoring him save for the vomit green joke, And not calling for months. if the first three hadn't occurred maybe will wouldn't have felt the need to defend himself when mike started a fight because he didn't tell him his gf was being bullied like he's their couples counselor or something

it's like you said mike literally starts the fight and then deflects (twice) and Then he apologizes...idk!

long-winded answer but how exactly was will being a dick lol. i know he apologizes for being mean to him and for pushing him away in the van scene but when exactly on march 22, 1986 was will mean to mike. i can see the pushing him away because he didn't call but he said he deserved the fight and admitted to being a jerk to el (literally HOW. when) and wouldn't let lucas apologize to him in season 3 so i'm not taking his self-deprecating martyr word for it SORRY

it's especially funny when you remember that mike trying to call will is a THEORY

#i know mike is self-deprecating too. this isn't about him💖#i know even byler being endgame is a theory but #and i GET IT like even if it turns out mike DIDN'T call he's not the devil or anything and i knoww why he acts like he does but when you #look at it from will's pov his behavior makes no fucking sense if he cares about him even a little. like why would he reject that hug lol #you could say him rejecting the hug was because he felt like they weren't friends anymore because will didn't call him and like sure but #then how is will not allowed to feel like they're not friends when mike doesn't call AND rejects his hug AND makes him third wheel all day #you can even say it was because he was like oh will gay can't make it obvious that i'm in love with him but that's just beyond the #realm of possibility to will. do you know what i mean? of course he's gonna think he doesn't care about him and doesn't even wanna hug him #hello after six months of not seeing him because he in fact didn't want to hug him. rejected the hug and made will feel like he was the #only one who wanted to be friends just like before #and really can you blame will for not calling when even without taking the fact that he's in love with mike into consideration the last #time he tried to show this friendship meant a lot to him he got shut down like crazy and was told that he was acting like a kid #i would've wanted mike to make a little bit of an effort too after that tf #and i know why he didn't call if he did in fact not call i know all that will isn't a tumblr byler he knows none of that not calling + not #hugging + agreeing to you not being important to the day + making you third wheel = not caring about you is not a crazy leap #if you wanna do the will isn't a perfect angel who is always 100% in the right thing (which i respect btw) i don't really see how #rink o mania helps your case I'M SORRY #you just will never convince me that it was 50/50 #ask

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herosub · 10 months

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herosun college era snippet (moving from twitter) the whole person A falls first, but B falls harder idea. but also just a fluffy nap

hero falling first for sunny - realizing but then concluding he should keep quiet about it. why would sunny, of all people, like him? probably the biggest reminder of his dead sister? he’s happy to lie low, play it safe, for sunny’s sake. in their college years, they hangout for days on end - they just like each other’s company - it’s calming, and it feels like home.

where else could they, who else really... understood all that pain? they’re chilling in their room one day, sunny almost fully in hero’s lap. hero, unthinking, just slips his arms around his waist, locking his hands around his stomach.

sunny's heart finally drops, and he doesn't find it ever again, only in hero's arms. the butterflies only start from there, and the cute little blushes and cheeks on fire.

hero's mostly thinking: oh, how cute. his ears are red.

meanwhile, sunny's gritting his teeth, trying not to gasp sitting so close next to hero - his arms snaking around him, his right palm gently cupping his face.

after that, they both keep making dumb excuses to hang out and fall all over each other like this - studying, 'hey hero, which class should i pick?', teaching sunny how to bake - he's gotta eat good food, right?

one night, sunny can't sleep - he calls hero over in the dead of the night. he doesn't even blink twice when hero's at his door in minutes, he just knows he can trust him to be there. if he needs him, he knows hero will be there. he just has to call.

so sunny just holds out his hand slowly, offering it to hero - and leads him to his bed. hero raises an eyebrow, but doesn't think to question him. he knows he's just cuddling him for comfort anyway. could you even imagine the nightmares the poor guy has? hero's heart absolutely drops at the thought of it, he knows exactly how hard they can be. helping sunny get some shuteye is the only thing left on his mind as he curls up behind him, gently stroking his soft hair, coaxing him to rest.

sunnys' breath deepens, and hero feels his shoulders relax. he smiles to himself, relief fluttering through his chest. he places a soft kiss on the back of sunny's head, and settles in to sleep himself.

#herosunny #test running i guess #changed my url for twitter people if you dont recognize me #no hard feelings if you dont like it - them growing to love and find hope in each other when they're older is just 110% my endgame #ive never gotten over them ohmygod

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foxhole-pipe-dream · 28 days

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My toxic trait is I love Neil ships but I will exit a fic if an Andreil breakup predates it, I cannot handle that 🏃🏾‍♀

#it's either they're besties who never dated or poly endgame for me sorry #they're my number 1

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naggingatlas · 11 months

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i think people's takes on jev being this like thousand year old creatura are fascinating and fit even my interpretation of his character and place in the story (as like. a representation of the setting at large. an archaic force being shoved into a simulation/loop/machine. cosmis horror kinda shit) but i also think it's 1. funnier 2. scarier 3. more emotionally scarring to imagine him as like. a 30, 40, 50 year old man. just a quirky little guy. he had a childhood, maybe he got picked up by seam as an urchin and they were a travelling magic act and clownery and judy n punch duo and they stole apples from the market and he climbed trees w his little paws before someone made him wear shoes. he was a brash teenager and he played the accordion and kept all of his trinkets in a little chest he used to sleep in. seam made his suits, from his own crayon drawings. he was a middle aged man disenchanted with his work and he sought shelter from the boredom in bothering others. and he ran away so many times and he slept outside and he helped seam make their own beer and mead and they still played the accordion and the hurdy-gurdy together. isn't it scarier to make him a normal man? who turns into what we see? doesn't that hurt more doesn't that make his character even deeper. he was just like you and this means That can happen to you too, grounding stuff like that is like one of the basic rules of horror. and then he just goes to jail they straight up lock a mentally ill guy with all those horrors in the basement - not an old-as-time-itself demon, not a savage beast, but. a man. jevil russian sleep experiment au.

again im not calling anyone out its just an interpretation ive NEVER seen anyone else come up with and i genuinely wonder why and if my other jev readings continue to be weird as fuck to other people

#jevil #its kinda like. a reverse dc joker situation. the jerker does get like. INSIDIOUSLY scary and mind-fucky when #you turn him into. i wouldn't say satan himself that takes the edge off. but something completely unknown.#im casually writing a batman script in my own continuity and i could never keep up w All The Lore cuz thats not what batman is abt to me #and i took most of my inspiration from a serious house on serious earth and. those intermission strips in snyder's endgame #where people from an asylum or a nursing home i can't quite remember that had encounters w joker #describe him as all sorts of things but not human. and not in like oh he's a monster but like That Is Not A Homo Sapiens #and they're not listened to because they were all suffering from delusions and hallucinations before that but #yea. i hate jerker origin stories i hate them with my whole entire heart. make him the unknowable. not even a demon not satan #nothing of folklore or religion not even a lovecraftian something-something. just an entity. maybe not even an entity. he's an scp to me #not even a character. just a concept with a design. an apparition made to teach humans a lesson #you dont know how he got here you dont know why you wont ever know when he'll be gone.#give me judge holden but even more amorphous and. not scarring me for life. but u get the idea #im tryyyiinnnggg to write joker like an apparition of a schizo psyche like my dreams.#my favorite song to 'write' j to is freefall by rainbow kitten surprise. and he's just a figment of bruce's imagination here #just a little more tangible. vague and wrong but it's j. probably. and it's bruce's pov. it's a couple lines of dialogue #that's j. jevil is the opposite.

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keirametzbrassknuckles · 1 year

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Yeah okay like... the resolution to season 2 is BAD. They had so much more story to tell and didn't have the time to tell it and it's heartbreaking. It really reads like s2 was all planned and done and THEN they got the non-renewal notice and had to frantically tack on the ending they had for the series without any of the necessary build up or development. There is a WHOLE 10 episodes worth of content between the first 40 minutes of the s2 finale and the last 30. It's so depressing. Amazon I hate you

#carnival row #like... aaaah some time passes and its all fine now but nobody has actually put in any work or #had any struggles because that was a s3 thing and we didnt het a s3 so... aaaahhh just timeskip i guess?????#makes me so sad i love this show and its potential #i can see how this would have been satisfying if thered been a whole other story??? like #vignette and tourmaline are endgame which I LOVE but this season was them having like relationship troubles #and trying to figure their shit out and they NEVER GOT AN ACTUAL RELATIONSHIP ARC???#beyond 'oh i guess they're married now' and IM GONNA CRY THIS IS SO UPSETTING?!?!?!?#its truncated??? its amputated???

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oyyehoyyebasket · 1 year

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i just need this place to have more namrata x ayesha content so here we goooooo! ❤️

#mismatched #mismatched 2 #mismatched season 2 #mismatched on netflix #namrata #ayesha #these two are cute and they need to be endgame #celina has a great arc in s2 but i will never ship her with namrata #namrata x ayesha ftw #they're the endgame for me #wlwedit

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teddytoroa · 8 months

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i can't find it but ages ago (like several days) i saw a post that was about how fanfic turned into romance novels is like the tiktok of books bc they dont have any breathing space and just jump between the main plot points and it makes the book unsatisfying and im like yeah actually thats absolutely true. And imo it feels in line with the antiintellectualualism problem we have where people just wanna be spoonfed the "interesting" bits.

But also the flip side of that is when theres entire books of like,,character interaction that doesnt go anywhere and its marketed as slice of life or light romance or whatever and yall know me i LOVE some chill slow paced low stakes character exploration but even slice of life stuff needs like actual plot to hold it together or it just feels a bit like mush. some of my most favourite stories are slice of life with characters who dont do very much at all but theres enough actual development of relationships and an underlying thread of a plot (not always a conflict even) to tie it all together so its not just a loose collection of characters in a bag rattling around like marbles and going nowhere. does any of this make sense

#often i think of the novel i read a few years ago that had characters i liked and seemed to be building up to something really big and cool #but then it just kind of couldnt support its own hype and the second half of the book was just. flat. it was just nothing #it felt like the author sort of..ran out of ideas? or was just freestyling without any overarching plot or goal for the end?#it was very bizarre. a good slice of life should feel like just that- ur briefly dipped into a fully fleshed out world #but this was like. ok this is gonna sound mean but you know when youre playing dolls with a toddler #amd they're just making up big plot points as they go along because theyre literally 3 years old #like 'ok the barbies are married now. ok and now this one dies and the other one is sad. ok now they have a new car. ok heres a dinosaur.'#it felt like that. no substance no real plot no character development no goal no endgame no worldbuilding no meat on the bones #ANYWAY its just as well i couldnt find the post bc i wouldnt want to clog the tags with this #god that book bothered me. never read anything else by that author bc i just. like it wasnt good.#it was like ordering takeout from a new place that looks promising but it arrives cold soggy meanly portioned and missing half the order

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yamujiburo · 4 months

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Some of this might sound intentionally hostile in text and I apologize.

I'm saying this as an abuse survivor mind you - don't throw "abusive ships" under the bus so easily - at least, so long as they're not actually glamorizing the abuse. I lived that irl and I personally find someone overcoming it, slowly having enough of that bullshit and getting out over time, and the other person having to wipe their own butt for once after they've made the damn mess, very refreshing. Maybe that's not a ship in the traditional sense. It's no happily ever after bc it shouldn't be, but I find stories like mine shyed away from so often because even the portrayal gets considered a "canon ship". ... that's just how media works now, I guess? I very rarely See a fictional relationship not called a ship in literally any context now so that's the definition I'm running on.

I wish more people were willing to portray the hardships of finding acceptance outside of "whoever you can find will accept you" very much, and finding the better things after. I wish people weren't terrified out of portrayimg situations like mine.

Jessie.. is not a good person in canon. You expect me to believe she moved into to hanamusa seamlessly, without falling on her ass? I never see you talk about Jessie's abusive tendencies in canon. You never talk about the inherent meanness she needed to get over to get there. She's quite aml lot like my ex in canon, actually.

What do you mean you're going to just remove from the character that she is abusive to those around her. Jessie hits people. She takes her own junk out on others all the time. Do you even like the character then, are you actually invested in her growing, or are you just making an OC at this point?

Idk. Do you, boo. But you are posting about a character who, whether you like it or not, is canonically abusive. I just don't buy that dating Ash's mom alone fixed her. That isn't... How that works. It would be excellent if it did. Part of my love of hanamusa is that it signals Jessie's change - but she could have changed for anyone before now.

What makes Delia different? How is she specifically a turning point for Jessie? Because Jessie's flaws go well beyond just bossing people around.

I would love if my abuser had the same outcome as your Jessie. I adore your portayals of hanamusa, where she's still flawed but still strives to do better. That's all I ever wanted from my ex.

What the fuck got her there tho.

Anyways I've been watching a lot of Bojack Horseman lately -

I agree with you! I don't think abusive relationships (or any tough subject matter in general) should be shied away from in media. It can be powerful when executed well and written by folks who are equipped to tell those kinds of stories. I do think it's sad when people treat it as off limits. But the ask I got was definitely more about which ships I have where I actually like the relationship between the characters. I think the semantics of the word "ship" are kind of vague or rather, over time, got so specific to only mean "absolutely love together and want them as endgame" (for most people anyways). So that's usually what I take the word to mean when people ask me about it.

I can 100% appreciate how an abusive relationship is written and handled, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna ship an abuser with their victim (that falls into the glorifying you're talking about). Love Bojack Horseman! Big fan! I think the way they handled Bojack and Sarah Lynn was beautifully and tragically well written. But does that mean I ship Bojack and Sarah Lynn? Absolutely fucking not.

I've talked about Jessie's character plenty on this blog and the way she's handled in earlier seasons specifically. This is kind of a summary: If we look at it on surface level, yes we can say she was abusive. But I think it's important to acknowledge and take into account the medium, time period and culture. Slapstick and cartoon violence was HUGE in anime and animation in the 90s (and prior to that too). Characters were always cartoonishly slapping each other around with giant mallets, folding fans, etc. Looney Tunes style. These slapstick bits were always distinct from real abuse and hurt (for Pokémon, Jessiebelle comes to mind). Mean slapstick wasn't a character trait exclusive to Jessie either. We saw it in Misty, James, Meowth, characters of the day and pretty much any character who got mad. It was a visual shortcut to show anger.

This type of slapstick has since (thankfully) died out and it hasn't really been a part of the Pokémon franchise since the early 2000s. However, Jessie was a notably special case. One of my favorite fun facts about the Pokémon anime is that there was a point in the series where Megumi Hayashibara (Jessie/Musashi's seiyuu) told the writers that moving forward, she no longer wanted Jessie to be violent or to be shown hitting James or Meowth (source: her memoir "The Characters Taught Me Everything"). She thought it directly went against the vision Takeshi Shudo had for Jessie, James and Meowth, when he created them, which was that they are good natured villains. If you watch from DP and on, Jessie never lays a hand on either of them. I think it was a such a good move on Pokémon's part to change her character like that and I'm forever grateful that Hayashibara said something! Whenever I write Jessie now, I always keep that in mind. She's mean, shouty and stupid but would never genuinely hurt those she cares about.

From then, her character becomes much more bearable. She's still bossy, mean and vain (typical cartoon villainess attributes) but I'd hesitate to say abusive. She'll still yell at James and Meowth, they all yell at each other, but in more of a sibling way (imo) rather than a "i'm actively trying to hurt your feelings way". The show makes a point especially in later seasons to show that Jessie, James and Meowth are not beyond being redeemed. From conception the whole POINT of the Team Rocket trio was that they are redeemable but their persistence and obsession keeps getting in the way of them seeing that there's a better life for them out there.

I won't deny that Jessie was unsavory in earlier seasons, but when I write her, I choose to write the version that Takeshi Shudo and Megumi Hayashibara had envisioned from the get go. She's still incredibly flawed and makes plenty missteps but wants to be better as you stated! My favorite part about Jessie is that she's a piece of shit LOL and I enjoy writing the changes she goes through to be better (but then still showing her default so some of her evil tendencies). In this AU, Delia doesn't fix Jessie. Jessie fixes Jessie because she is with someone makes her want to be a better person. She's already in the middle of turning over a new leaf before even meeting Delia, after leaving Team Rocket. Writing Jessie as legitimately abusive I think could work, but that's not my story to tell and if someone who were more equipped to tell that story did, I'd be very interested to take a listen!

I hope this doesn't come off as trying to deny or invalidate your experience. If you see that in Jessie, I hear you! This is just how I've interpreted her character over the years, having watched every episode of Pokémon and reading Japanese interviews from the cast and crew. She's such a compelling character and I love how messy she is

#ask yam #long post #tw abuse

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