#colson baker!tommy lee

[sourwolf-sterek32]

The Dirt (Your Version)

Summary: Meeting Nikki Sixx and Tommy Lee was a coincidence. Being friends was a choice. But falling in love with them both was beyond your control.

Or

A rewrite of The Dirt with all the highs and lows of Mötley Crüe from your perspective.

Pairings: Nikki Sixx x Reader, Tommy Lee x Reader, Nikki Sixx x Tommy Lee x Reader

Word Count: 4k

Trigger Warning- language, mentions of past child abuse and past self-harm

Previous Chapter

Chapter 21- Mötley fuckin' Crüe

A week later, you and Nikki were pulling up in front of Tommy's double story mansion across town.

"What are you going to say to him?" You asked, climbing out the car.

Nikki shrugged, "first an apology."

You simply nodded before you walked up the tall stairs to his front door taking two at a time before Nikki knocked. A moment later, Tommy pulled the door open with a cigarette between his lips and a look of surprise on his face.

"Hey, guys." He greeted hesitantly, glancing between you and Nikki unsure what was happening.

"What I did at your wedding..." Nikki began to say causing the confusion on the drummer to double. "I didn't... know... how to do that. How to be there."

"What's up, Nikki?" Tommy asked stopping the bassist struggling with his apology.

"I was really fucking selfish, and I shit on something that was important to you, and I am really sorry."

Tommy glanced over at you briefly before focusing back on Nikki. "I know you pretty well, Sixx, so... I kinda get it. And it's okay. But can you say that last part one more time for me?"

"Don't fucking push it, T-bone." Nikki shook his head with a smirk.

You and Tommy began to laugh before the drummer stepped to the side allowing you both to walk through the front door.

"I heard you and Heather broke up."

Tommy nodded, "yeah."

"I'm sorry, man." Nikki grabbed his shoulder with a small squeeze.

"Knew I'd get you to say it again." Tommy grinned with a laugh.

"Fuck you." Nikki removed his hand while trying not to smile.

Your eyes widened in shock not having realised that him and Heather had broken up. But of course, they would have. Heather would've seen the magazine with the photo of her husband kissing another girl on the front page. And not just any girl. It was you. It was the girl that Tommy would hang around with backstage. The girl he'd lean against during shows. The girl he asked to be his groomsman. The girl he ditched their honeymoon for. No wonder Heather was gone.

"Fuck, Tommy, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have-" You began to apologise before he cut you off.

"It's okay."

"It's not okay. Heather broke up with you because of me. I mean, fuck, you were married for seven years and-"

"Y/N, look at me." Tommy instructed, stepping in front of you and pinching your chin gently between his thumb and index finger before tilting your head up until you met his eyes. "It's okay." He repeated.

"How is that okay?"

Tommy sighed, glancing over your shoulder at Nikki. The two of them had a silent conversation you weren't privy to before his warm hazel eyes met yours once again.

"Because I've been in love with you since high school."

Out of everything you thought Tommy might have said, that was not on the list. That wasn't even on the draft of the fucking list.

Holy shit.

You opened your mouth to respond but no words came out.

"Kiss her, man." Nikki said from behind you, giving the drummer the permission he needed before Tommy tilted your chin up higher and he leant down capturing your lips with his.

You melted against his mouth and cupped his face with your hands deepening the kiss before pulling away and glancing over at Nikki who was smiling.

"Alright. We're going on a mission." He declared holding his hand out towards you.

You grabbed Nikkis hand before taking Tommys in your other and the three of you walked out the house towards Nikki's car.

It was time to go get Mick Mars.

Apparently, Mick just had hip replacement surgery, so you drove out to the hospital to pick him up.

You leant against the side of the car between Nikki and Tommy, and the look on Micks face when he saw the three of you together was priceless.

"About time you three got your shit together." Was his form of greeting as a nurse wheeled him out the front doors on a wheelchair.

You smirked pushing yourself away from the car and walked towards him.

"It's good to see you, Mick."

The older man smiled, "you too, kid."

"How's that new hip, dude? Feel like The Terminator now or some shit?" Tommy asked heading straight for the handles of the wheelchair.

"Touch the chair and I'll terminate you, Drummer." Mick threatened pointing at him.

Tommy quickly raised his hands and stepped back before Mick thanked the nurse behind him and slowly stood up out the wheelchair.

You took a step forward with your hand out, Nikki doing the same unsure how steady he would be on his feet, but the older man simply waved you both off and began walking to the car.

"Stop looking at me like that. Let's go get our fucking singer back already."

-

Locating Vince Neil was harder than you anticipated.

He wasn't at his house and after using the spare key to get inside, it was clear that he hadn't been home for a while.

"Where the hell is he?" Tommy asked, looking around and you had a sinking feeling you knew where your brother had ended up.

Moonshadow's bar downtown.

When Skylar was sick, that was where he went every single night and when she passed, he practically lived there. That place was like a second home to him at that point.

You thought rehab had helped him. He sounded fine when you spoke to him on the phone not long ago, but your brother was still suffering.

"Shit." You sighed, rubbing your face with your hands causing the guys to all look over at you. "I think I know where he is."

The four of you climbed back into Nikki's car and before you knew it, you were heading towards the front door of the small quiet bar. But before you pushed it open, you paused and turned to face the guys.

"Look... just let me talk to Vince first, okay? I-I don't know how he'll react."

They all nodded in agreement before you turned and entered the building.

There were a few people seated at various booths and tables, but there was one man sitting at the bar and there was no mistaking that long blonde hair anywhere. The guys remained by the door, for once actually listening to you, while you walked straight across the room towards your brother.

"You got company." The bartender warned, eyeing you and the guys by the door cautiously.

Vince glanced over his shoulder in confusion before his eyes met yours and he sighed, turning back around staring down at his glass of Jack and coke.

"I-I'm not drinking like I was. Don't worry. This is my only drink even ask him." Vince said defensively motioning up at the bartender.

"It's true. He refuses to let me serve him more than one drink."

You nodded, a little relieved to hear that because for a moment you feared your brother had really fallen off the wagon again.

"I'm proud of you." You admitted, sitting down on the stool beside him before leaning over and resting your head on his shoulder. "And I love you."

Vince didn't say anything to that but tilted his head until it was resting against the top of yours.

"How's your hand?" You asked after a moment, looking down at his scarred knuckles wrapped around his glass.

"Healed." He answered letting go of the glass and squeezing his hand in and out of a fist. "I should have never let dad touch you again. I should have seen it coming and-"

"Vin, it's not your fault."

"It kinda feels like my fault."

You lifted your head from his shoulder and turned in your seat to face him properly.

"It's not your fault." You insisted, reaching over and grabbing his arm. "I'm a grown woman. I can take care of myself."

"Yeah? Well, I'm your big brother. It's my job to protect you and I failed, again."

"You can't protect me from everything, big brother." You whispered, mimicking your words from the day you both ran away from home.

Vince smiled sadly catching on before repeating his own words too, "I can try."

Neither of you said anything for a few minutes while Vince sipped at his drink savouring his one alcoholic beverage before you glanced over your shoulder at the others and nodded them over.

"Vin, the guys are here. They wanna talk to you."

That had your brothers head snapping around so fast, "what? No. Y/N, I don't think-"

"We just wanna talk, Vinnie. That's it." Nikki explained calmly reaching the bar, but your brother just stared down at his glass refusing to look at him. "Come on, Vinnie."

Mick suddenly reached out and placed a firm but gentle hand on your brother's shoulder causing him to flinch.

"Let's talk." Mick said.

Vince glanced over at you hesitantly and you gave him a small reassuring nod causing your brother to let out a deep sigh.

"Okay."

The group of you moved over to a table at the far side of the bar away from everyone else. You sat down between Nikki and Tommy while Mick grabbed some soda for you all and placed it on the table while Nikki spoke.

"I was scared." Nikki admitted, looking at Vince beside him. "After what happened with Razzle, I was scared that I was losing the only thing that ever mattered to me."

"Yeah, your band." Vince muttered.

"No. No. This." Nikki explained motioning to all of you around the table. "Look, we went to war together. Shit changes, people change, but I don't fucking care if Mötley Crüe never plays another note. All I want is my fucking brother back. Because this is the only family that I've ever known."

"We love you, Vin. Okay, fuck, I love ya." Tommy added.

"And I am sorry about Skylar, man." Nikki said gently.

Vince lowered his head avoiding everyone's eyes as his body started to shake and you knew your brother was trying not to cry at the mention of his daughter.

"It's against the laws, man." Vince sobbed, shaking his head. "It's against the fucking rules of the universe."

Your own eyes began to fill with tears as you stared at your brother struggling to hold it together before Mick wrapped his arm around him and that was all it took before Vince started to cry.

"Hey." Nikki soothed, resting his hand on Vince's shoulder.

"We got you, brother." Mick whispered, holding him. "We got you, brother."

Tommy suddenly pulled you into his side while you silently cried, his thumb rubbing soothing circles against your back. Tears trickled down your face in a heavy stream despite how hard you tried to stop them, and Nikki reached over with his free hand and grabbed yours on the table giving it a small squeeze for comfort.

Eventually, the tears came to an end. Vince managed to get a hold of himself while you sniffed quietly. Your brother glanced over at you noticing your tear-streaked face before he looked at Tommys arm around you and Nikki's hand holding yours.

"Look, Vince-" Nikki quickly began to say, but your brother cut him off.

"You three together?"

Mick stiffened from across the table fearful that this might be the breaking point for Mötley Crüe. If Vince couldn't accept it, that was it. There was no coming back for Mötley Crüe and the older man knew it. You all knew it.

"I love them, Vince." You began to say before either of them had a chance to open their mouths and say something stupid.

A look of shock washed over your brothers face at those words. He knew that the three of you used to hook up and you eventually told him about the miscarriage. But Vince probably just assumed that it was a casual thing between the three of you. He didn't know that you were in love, and you hoped like hell that piece of new information wouldn't make him any madder than he already was.

You loved Nikki and Tommy.

You loved them both so fucking much, and you were done trying to hide it.

"Yeah, I love them." You continued to say. "And I know you don't approve of that. And we shouldn't have snuck around behind your back way back when, and for that, I'm sorry. But I can't change how I feel."

Vince remained worriedly silent for quite some time while he looked between the three of you carefully.

Tommy and Nikki seemed too frightened to speak which was probably a good thing and Mick was sitting there holding his breath, waiting to see what would happen.

"You guys love each other?" Vince eventually asked, his tone forcefully neutral as he glanced between you all.

"We do, man." Tommy answered without hesitation. "I know your sister is off limits, but we love her, dude. This isn't just some fling or something. We love her."

"He's right." Nikki backed up, Vince's eyes shooting over to the bassist. "Look, man. I've never felt the way I feel about your sister with anyone. I love her, and I'm not going to apologise for it. If you want to walk away, we aren't going to stop you."

"Or you can come back and Mötley Crüe can start playing again." Mick spoke up, resting his hand on Vince's shoulder.

Your brother glanced over at the older man briefly before shifting his focus back to the guys beside you taking in Tommys arm around your back and Nikki's hand still holding yours against the table.

Your heart felt like it was beating out of its chest in anticipation until your brother eventually nodded.

"Let's make some fucking music."

-

After announcing Mötley Crüe were back with Vince Neil as their lead singer, the first show sold out within an hour of tickets going on sale.

"Tommy, sit still or I'm gonna ruin your makeup." You warned from where you were literally sitting in his lap trying to apply his eyeliner, but he kept tapping his foot. "God, I forgot how fidgety you used to be before a show."

"I can't help it. I get nervous." He said defensively but managed to stop moving his foot so you could finish.

You lowered the eyeliner and stared at his beautiful hazel eyes making sure they were both perfectly even before you nodded at your handy work in approval.

"Can I move now, baby?"

"Yes, but be careful not to smudge-"

His lips crashed against yours before you could finish that sentence. It was rushed and needy, but perfect all at once.

You tossed the eyeliner in the general direction of the desk before resting your hand over his bare chest. Your fingers traced over the new tattoos that weren't there the last time you were on tour together. His hand shifted down to your waist, sliding up under your jacket until his warm fingers found your skin and he kept his hand there while you kissed him back needily.

The door to your dressing room suddenly opened causing the two of you to pull apart. You looked over your shoulder to find Nikki walking inside now dressed in his leather pants and new black jacket. His signature warpaint stripes were on his face along with a bandana around his forehead.

"Looking good, Sixx." You whistled as he closed the door behind himself, his cheeks blushing a little at your compliment.

You glanced back over at Tommy who was still holding you in his lap and now had red lipstick smeared over his lips.

"I need to wipe this off." You said reaching up to his mouth, but he grabbed your hand before you could do it.

"Leave it. It'll remind me of you."

Your heart swelled at that small gesture before Nikki walked over to the two of you and spun the chair you were both occupying around until you were facing him.

"Your look is missing something." Nikki observed looking your new outfit up and down.

It was just a simple pair of leather pants with chains hanging from the belt loops and a sleeveless red lacy top that probably showed too much skin and cleavage, but neither of the guys commented on it not wanting to control what you wore which you appreciated.

"Close your eyes for me." Nikki instructed.

You raised your eyebrows, "um, why?"

"Do you trust me?"

"With my life." You answered without hesitation.

"Close your eyes."

You nodded and closed your eyes before Nikki's hand cupped the side of your face gently and then you felt him drawing a small line along your left cheek bone.

There was no mistaking what that mark was.

"T-bone. What do you think?" Nikki asked tilting your head to the side so Tommy could see.

"She's fucking beautiful, man."

"Yeah, she is." Nikki agreed before he lowered his hand from your face, and you felt the chair start to turn again. "Open your eyes, princess."

Slowly, you blinked your eyes open to find yourself now facing the mirror on the desk. Your eyes shifted down to the singular black stripe of warpaint on your cheek that was identical to what you used to have all those years ago.

You smiled at the mirror, "like old times."

Nikki and Tommy both met your gaze through the mirror with bright smiles.

The faded scars on your face and upper arm from the car crash back in 1984 were traced with glitter like you used to do on tour. However, the healed scars on your wrist were covered with bracelets.

You fiddled with the bracelets for a moment before catching sight of the clock on the wall behind.

"It's show time." You announced, climbing off Tommy's lap before shrugging off your leather jacket and throwing it onto the desk. "You boys ready?"

Tommy nodded, "hell yeah."

"Let's do it." Nikki grinned.

You followed the guys out the dressing room and down the long narrow corridor towards the stage before you knocked on Mick's dressing room door as you passed.

"Mick, it's time!" You shouted before walking over to your brother's door and knocking. "Vin, let's roll!"

Nikki then threw his arm around your shoulders while he walked, Tommy off to his other side fiddling with his drumsticks. Mick came out his room joining you down the corridor wearing his long black coat and top hat and then Vince stepped out in his leather pants and black muscle shirt.

The five of you walked down the corridor in sync together.

Vince wrapped his arms around you and Nikki with a bright smile spreading across his face. Tommy sprung himself in the air with one hand on Micks shoulder and another on Nikki's as he jumped up excitingly causing you all to laugh as you made your way towards the stage.

You slipped free from Vince and Nikki as you rounded the corner towards the backstage stairs and paused at the base of them watching the guys all walk up towards the stage.

A swell of love and pride washed over you.

Whenever Tommy sat down behind his drums and Nikki picked up his bass, and Mick plugged in his guitar, something always happened. It was like the air thickened with excitement. You couldn't put your finger on it, but it was like a weird kind of electrical humidity. You didn't just hear it, you felt it. Then Vince would scream the first few words of a song and all you could think was, 'we're home.'

You were a lot older now but some days you still felt eighteen with these guys.

This band had outlived wives and girlfriends, managers, record companies, agents- everything but itself.

From living in the Mötley House along the Sunset Strip and playing at the Whiskey to this moment... Mötley Crüe had fucking made it.

Nikki suddenly stopped halfway up the stairs noticing you were missing and turned in confusion. His smoky eyes locked with yours and he held his hand out towards you. You jogged up the steps and took his hand with a small squeeze.

"You did it. Mötley Crüe are back." You smiled proudly at him. "This is our life."

"If life was a song, then meeting you was the best verse." Nikki whispered in your ear before he placed a tender kiss to your lips.

You closed your eyes savouring the moment before Nikki pulled away with a bright smile on his face. His hand squeezed yours gently before he led you up the stairs catching up with the others just as you reached the stage and the crowd erupted.

Vince threw his hands up in the air enthusiastically. Tommy and Mick holding up devil horns while you stared out at the stadium full of people in front of you. The crowd was screaming and cheering louder than you had ever heard it as Nikki held your joined hands up to the sky.

After everything the band had been through together. All the years of fights, drugs, alcohol, criticism, heartbreak... after everything, they were still here.

That's fate.

That's family.

And that's Mötley fuckin' Crüe.

-

...THE END

-

A/N: I'm actually crying...

I didn't think I'd get emotional about this. It's just a fanfic, it's a fake story... but it's also real. It's based on true events from the band we all know and love, but to me, writing this story has been like a lifeline. And now it's over and I have no idea what to do.

From listening to Girls Girls Girls in my dad's car on the way to school when I was a kid... to 15 years later and I'm blasting Kickstart My Heart in my own car driving to work... then fast forward a couple years to the 14th of November 2023, I'm standing at Marvel Stadium in Melbourne over 1,5000km away from home with my dad watching Mötley Crüe live in concert.

Seeing Mötley Crüe in person... seeing Nikki Sixx on stage playing his bass... seeing Tommy Lee unleash on the drums... hearing Vince Neil scream the songs I grew up listening to and hearing John 5 tearing it up on his guitar carrying on Mick Mars' legacy... words cannot do justice to how fucking amazing those couple of hours were.

In 2022, I moved to a small country town for my career. I live alone. I have no friends or family in this town, they all live over 8 hours away. I'm introvert with bad social anxiety and I like being alone. I like my own space and having my own house, but it hurts sometimes being this lonely, but Mötley Crüe have helped me. From their music to their books, to their movie; The Dirt, to all their YouTube interviews and documentaries to their social media presence. Mötley Crüe have made me feel less lonely. They have helped me in so many ways and I owe everything to them.

I know I'm rambling, but Mötley Crüe, Nikki Sixx, Tommy Lee, Vince Neil, Mick Mars and John 5 have saved my life. Sure, to some that might seem stupid and pathetic. Mötley Crüe don't know me. They never will. But they have impacted my life so much and I would not be here typing these words if it wasn't for them. 

So, from the bottom of my heart, I want to thank them.

I don't know what the future holds.

Mötley Crüe are doing some shows in America this year and releasing new music soon (I am so fucking excited to hear it) and according to Nikki on Twitter/X, the band will be back to touring in 2025.

Now, I don't know if that means they will come back to Australia or not, but just the thought... just the mere chance and possibility that Mötley Crüe might be back in my country that is enough to keep going. It is enough to get me out of bed in the mornings and go to work. It is enough for me to keep fighting and I know I will get judged for it but fuck anyone who hates on me for saying that because this band means more to me than you will ever know.

ANYWAY...

When I first started writing this, I never imaged anyone would even read it. I was purely writing this for myself, but I am so so happy that many of you have loved and resonated with this story and Y/N Neil.

Out all the fanfics I've ever written this one means the most to me. Thank you for coming along on this journey. I have had a blast writing this and at the moment, this story is finished, but who knows what the future holds ❤️

This is Sourwolf_sterek32 signing off. Until next time, stay safe everyone. I'm going to go cry and rewatch The Dirt for the hundredth time to make myself feel better xx

#motley crue #nikki sixx #tommy lee #nikki sixx fanfiction #nikki sixx x reader #tommy lee x reader #tommy lee fanfic #vince neil #mick mars #motley crue fanfiction #motley crue x reader #the dirt #john 5 #mgk #colson baker #pov #imagine #80s #music

[elscaptive]

Random "The Dirt" cast photos (๑-﹏-๑)

#Douglas Booth #Colson Baker #Machine Gun Kelly #Daniel Webber #Iwan Rheon #The Dirt #Nikki Sixx #Tommy Lee #Vince Neil #Mick Mars #Mötley Crüe #glam metal

[oskea93]

Keep it to Yourself (1)

✶ Douglas Booth!Nikki Sixx x OC ✶

Warning: This story will contain scenes of drug/alcohol use, sexual content, mentions of death, overdose, physical and emotional abuse. Please read at your own risk. I do not own rights to Motley Crue or any other famous person mentioned. Portions of this story will be pulled from Motley's book and film The Dirt as well as The Heroin Diaries. There will be parts that are complete fiction as well.

Taglist: @fancywasmyname1, @kaitieskidmore1, @xxisxxisxxis, @sparxx27,  @cruecifymesixx, @tempt-ress, @a-sia-san, @x-xinenas, @casualcomputerarbiter-blog​, @makaelahdelvalle

Author's note: Hello everybody! It's been a while since I thought about this story but now I want to bring it back to life. I think I rewatched The Dirt about 20 times in the past couple of days (Thanks snowstorm!) and i've been thinking about this story and all the other amazing Crue stories that are on Tumblr. So, with that being said - I have decided to rewrite Keep it to Yourself. I went back and read the original version and I want to revamp it in a way. I've changed a couple things and I hope to make it better than before. If you were tagged in the original version, I went ahead and just tagged you for this new update. If you would like to be removed, just let me know and I will take you off. If you aren't a part of the taglist and would like to be, just let me know and I will get you added. I hope you enjoy the new and improved Keep it to Yourself!

“Bryant –“ He paused. “I know I’m probably the last voice you wanna hear on your answering machine, but I desperately need your help right now.” A breathy sigh blew through the speaker. “I’m at my wits end and I have no idea what to do with him.”

I stared at the device – my hand curled against my mouth as his words flowed through my living room. “The drugs are constant – he’s high 24/7 – Half the time I don’t even know if he’s alive or dead when I get into his room. It’s not just him – they’re all fucked – but he’s the only one with one foot in the casket.”

How he got my number remained a mystery. They made him millions of dollars – more money than the man could even count – yet he was calling me about his issue. From the beginning, I told him that it would only get worse. The guy had issues way before he formed Motley – way before the money and fame came into the picture. Sure - he dabbled in drugs before hitting peak stardom, but the money was there, and he was a kid in a candy store.

“I know the two of you ended on such a sour note, but I feel like you’re the only one that can truly help him get out of this fucking mess. He needs you – I – we all need you, Bryant.” He went on to leave the number to the hotel they were staying at for the night. Begging one last time for my help. I must’ve played the damn message 10 times – each time making my anger rise. Doc was the one who let it get to this point – he fueled the fire when it should’ve been sprayed out years ago. He pushed the drugs in their direction – Nikki was always a step ahead though. He attracted the slime that had the harder, faster drugs. The drugs that would make him feel nothing when in reality his whole fucking world was crumbling down…

I continued to move the spoon around the cup, the sugar long dissolved by now. I was so lost in my own thought – Doc’s words swirling around in my brain.

“You’re thinking about going, aren’t you?” The brunette in front of me asked. “I know that look and that look tells me that you’re giving in.”

Hannah Hastings was the first person I met when I moved to South Carolina. She was an event planner – a free spirit in a Dynasty like world. She would spend hours on my couch, a bottle of wine being shared, as I spilled my entire life story into her lap. She knew all about my history with Nikki – how we met – our marriage – and the demise of our relationship.

I let out a sigh, “I don’t wanna go but something’s telling me that if I don’t –“ I paused. “If I don’t go, he’s gonna end up dead and then I’ll be blaming myself. At least if I go and say I tried and I don’t succeed, I won’t beat myself up if something does happen to him. Like – It’s not even a matter of if – it’s a matter of when.”  

“He was such an asshole though, Bryant. The man was toxic to you-“She reached across the table taking my hand in hers. “I don’t want to see you get hurt or worse. You know how drug addicts are – he could get violent and not even realize it until it’s too late.”

During the three years we were together, he never laid a hand on me. I was the one who had the heavy touch. Sure, we had awful arguments that pushed me to the point of slapping and pushing him away, but he always stormed off before touching me. The drugs at the time weren’t as hardcore as they are now though. I could walk in his house and come back out with a bullet hole this time. Hannah was right – drugs fucked with people’s brain – I’m sure Nikki was already there.

“Are you gonna tell Wyatt?”

I slumped back in my seat at the thought of telling my Uncle Wyatt. To say he hated Nikki would be an understatement. He warned me from the beginning that Nikki Sixx would be nothing but trouble, but I didn’t listen. He was used to guys like Nikki – being a kid from the wrong side of the tracks himself. He made a promise that he would do everything he could to protect me from men like Nikki. We only had each other and when Nikki came into the picture, the worst type of thoughts ran through his head. He knew what guys like Nikki did to girls like me – innocent until proven insane. It happened to my mother – her infatuation sending her straight to the grave.

“I figured I would just call him when I got to California-“Her eyes growing large. “You know so he can’t talk me out of it or worse come and get me.”

She shook her head in disbelief, “You know I love you and I’ll support you in any way –“I felt a “but” coming along. “But –“She smiled. “This is one decision I’m very wary about, Bryant.”

I felt the same way. I had multiple scenarios playing like film reels over and over in my head. Some pretty good while others resembled horror movies. Even I knew that Nikki’s reaction to seeing me would not be a good one. He broke my heart, and I broke his even worse. Besides the band, I was his only true constant. He barely had any family – his grandparents living states away – not even aware of their grandson’s antics. Sure, the art of touring and going to different states brought about groupies and so-called friends but he didn’t have anyone to call or return home to. I was that person for him.

“You and me both, sister…”

I waited for the line to connect – the operator being nice enough to connect me straight to his room. Doc and I didn’t really have a relationship. He was Motley’s manager and at the time I was just a wife. I was glad the guys had him at first – their success was growing like a wildfire but that was because of their drive for stardom – Doc was just there lending a helping hand. He was extremely pissed when I ended things with Nikki. His own mouth spewing curse words my way once Nikki was served with divorce papers.

It makes the band look bad when a member gets divorced.

Nikki refuses to get out of bed and it’s all your fucking fault.

Girls all over the world would stay with Nikki no matter what – cheating, drugs – Learn to turn a blind eye.

“Hello?” I sat straighter as Doc’s voice sounded – my thoughts suddenly escaping me. “Hello?”

“It’s me.” My voice cracking. “I – uh – I got your message.”

“Oh, thank God, Bryant.” He sounded relieved. “I was worried that I would miss your call –“He paused. “Or if you would even call at all.”

I stayed silent – not really up for conversation.

“Listen, I know this is a bit of a tall ask, but I really do need your help. Nikki – hell all the guys for that matter – are ticking fucking time bombs. Nikki’s clock is etching closer to midnight ever second the fucker breaths – and I pray every night that he’s still doing so. He’s high ever second of every day. He shoots up when he wakes and right before he passes out for the night. I have no idea what he’s even taking anymore. Shooting up, snorting, smoking – he’s the walking picture of Nancy Reagan’s campaign.”

My grip on the phone tightened as he spoke – realizing that he was more far gone than thought.

“I need you to come out here and help us deal with him. I think Doug and Fred can deal with the other three, but we can’t get through to Nikki. Fuck, it’s not even Nikki anymore that we’re dealing with. He’s so mean and terrible to be around. His moods go from zero to sixty – it’s even worse when he’s coming down. Poor Tommy’s getting married, and I can’t even imagine Nikki standing up there with him when he’s high off his ass. You’re the only one that I think can get through to him – he still loves you, Bryant.”

He still loves you, Bryant.

Maybe the old version of Nikki was still in love, but I can assure you the drugged-up version was only in love with his high. That was Doc’s way of trying to lure me in – telling me that Nikki still loved and cared about me. I still loved and cared for the guy too – the Nikki I met at a 7-Eleven almost 6 years ago. Pre-Motley Crue – before the fame, drugs, egos, and women.

“I’ll pay for your ticket out here and everything if you agree, Bryant.” He stressed. “I’m desperate – he’s gonna die if we don’t do something.”

I let out a sigh, closing my eyes, asking myself if I really wanted to do this. It was a constant battle with my head and my heart. My brain was yelling at me to tell Doc to fuck off, but my heart couldn’t deal with the thought of Nikki no longer being here. “You think seeing me will snap him out of this spiral?”

“I think seeing you will probably piss him off more but at least I know you’ll be there and have the chance to stop him.”

My brows furrowed at his comment, “You’re making it sound like I’m gonna be with him at all times?”

His silence confirming my question. “You can’t expect me to stay in the same house, hotel room, or wherever with Nikki –“

“That’s exactly what you’re going to do, Bryant.” He cut me off. “I need that man to have constant surveillance – can’t put a bodyguard in there with him. He needs to have someone that he’s familiar with – someone that’s gonna remain sober and not give into his advances.”

“Then why don’t you stay with him then?” My attitude starting to come out.

“I’d end up killing him and then all of this would be for nothing.”

I shook my head as I pulled the phone away from my ear. I could hear Doc’s voice as he continued to talk. “Listen-“ I spoke up, cutting his sentence off. “I will come out there but I’m only there for a week. Once that week is up, whether he’s getting help or not, I’m going back home.”

“That’s not gonna work, Bryant.” He huffed. “He gets more fucked up when he’s out on the road than he does at home. These fuckers waiting in back alleys and backstage – knowing that he’s looking to score – that’s where I need you the most.

I’d been on tour with Motley when they were first getting their feet wet. I watched as they performed their first gig at the Starwood and then when they were opening for bigger acts like Ozzy. Going on tour with four men – the four Motley men was not for the faint of heart. I saw more body parts than I cared to see. Drugs, alcohol, and women were being pushed in their direction – more so as their popularity grew than before. Nikki and I shared a bunk and even that got old after a while. Living with four men for months on end would cause any woman to eventually lose it. Nikki and I were constantly fighting. Hell, I was fighting with everyone, even Mick at times. This was their dream, and it was my absolute living hell.

“I don’t th-“

“What do I need to do so you will say yes? Walk on water – swallow arsenic? Please, Bryant. I have never been so desperate in all of my life.” His voice wavering. “You were in love with this man at one point – I believe you may still love him. Just remember the reason why you fell in love with Nikki and do it for that reason."

#nikki sixx fanfiction #nikki sixx x oc #fanfiction #motley crue fanfic #nikki sixx imagine #mick mars #vince neil #douglasbooth!nikkisixx #douglas booth fanfiction #douglas booth #colson baker #iwan rheon #the dirt #the dirt movie #tommy lee #douglas booth imagine

[nosensedit]

⊹ ִ࣪ এ credits on twitter ִ࣪ ⌁ like or reblog if you save! ♡ ¸. • *

#like or reply if you see #like or reblog #like or comment #like or rb if u see #icons without psd #icons sem psd #icons with fans #machine gun kelly #machine gun kelly icons #colson baker #colson baker icons #mgk #mgk icons #the dirt #good mourning #bird box #viral #power #tommy lee #london clash #london ransom #felix #cj #newt #movies #movies icons #american actor #actor icons #actors

[lovemurphythe100]

Mgk in The dirt he did very good in

#mgk #machine gun kelly #the dirt #tommy lee #colson baker

[domlovescolson]

Col via Instagram Story 🖤

#🔥 #machine gun kelly #mgk #motley crue #tommy lee #colson baker #est19xx #est4life #everyone stand together #mgk updates #updates

[kondensaduhhh]

what’s insane to me is the way motely crue fans, at least the younger side, don’t like MGK. which is very ??? bc how the FUCK do you like MOTLEY CRUE but not MGK?? they are he same motherfuckers, in fact im sure Motley has done much worse shit that Colson so lmao??? like yes, i know, about Coslon’s disgusting ass comments about minors, but don’t forget, Motley actually did have sex with minors, i thought we all knew this???

actually, even other rock fans don’t like MGK for the exact same thing their fave has also done, which is so fucking hypocritical, like c’monnn, jesus. “i don’t like MGK for his disgusting comments abt minors” like, yes, valid, but you saying that WHILE being a motley crue/GNR/aerosmith, etc. fan is so fucking stupid

#mgk #colson baker #motely crue #vince neil #tommy lee #machine gun kelly #mick mars #nikki sixx #motley crue #guns n roses #gnr #slash gnr #slash guns n roses #saul hudson #axl rose #w axl rose #izzy stradlin #duff mckagan #steven adler

[the-poet-and-the-pendulum]

#mötley crüe #tommy lee #the dirt #the dirt movie #machine gun kelly #colson baker

[throne-for-queens]

Do you see a resemblance between Tom and Pam and MGK and Megan?

Honestly, I think in a lot of ways they imitate their actions. How Pam and Tommy were came naturally. Megan and Colson came off like they were mimicking every rock and roll couple that ever existed. The most notable pam and tommy, Billy and Angelina, Marilyn and Rose, I'm sure someone can find more. But the difference between pam and megan is that pam knew that life with tommy wasn't sustainable. Even in her documentary she confessed that even though she didn't want to be with anyone else but him, she knew she couldn't be with him at the same time.

Pamela and megan share some similarities in how hollywood views them, I don't believe it was on the same scale but similar. They're upbringing were vastly different, but pam after all her trauma is reinventing herself for her. I dont think megan has reached that point yet.

Colson wants to be like tommy. You know a natural born rock star. But the problem with tommy lee is that he hasn't grown up. He hasn't stopped choosing himself. You can see it in how he acts now and from snippets of him in the documentary. But Colson is not that guy. Colson does struggle with that image but I don't think he is a carbon copy of tommy lee. He wears his heart on his sleeve and a badge of vulnerability that tommy kind of just sweeps under the rug.

So to answer your question without my rambling. I feel like for now it's fun and rock and roll. And they are focused on each other, but it's hard for me to say that they are similar because I feel like colson and megan often times played a caricature of these people. It never felt authentic, it always felt like they watched and studied them to prove they were outlandish, crazy and in love. And I don't think it was ever needed.

#machine gun kelly #colson baker #est19xx #megan fox #pamela anderson #tommy lee

[apolloanddaphnis]

Liz and Billy

Synopsis: Minka Farrah is the screen siren of the Art side of Hollywood's. David Lynch's new muse, inspires designers the new Elizabeth Taylor. Despite her appearance, she's always there for her friends. Megan's one of her best, but it turns out Megan isn't the only one who needs a shoulder to cry on, her fiancé Colson Baker, known to the world as the notorious Machine Gun Kelly, needs a shoulder too, and what a lovely sweet smelling, empathetic shoulder it is.

Going to be a Colson x OC fic.

It's going to be an explicit fic.

Warnings for first chapter: Not proofread, mentions of suicide attempts, mental health mentions.

I. Giant

♡♡Minka's POV ♡♡

Megan wasn't doing good.

We've been friends since we met on the set of my film Poison. We bonded over our love for music and she was easy and fun to be around, after that we started spending as much time as we could together and texted everyday, when we weren't filming on location she made herself an unofficial resident at my French revival on Ridgedale drive. Claiming I give the best sleepovers.

The harlot loves stealing my makeup too, Claiming I have so much makeup like a department store I wouldn't notice it missing. I let her, it's not as if I couldn't easily replace it.

I was the only person she told absolutely everything to, perhaps that's why I never corrected her when she would irk me.

Pour example, when she bugs me about why I don't get down there surgery, or after my mother who was my best friend died how I didn't find her warm enough, she has a habit of dealing with tragedy in a way Jack Frost would; Too much silence, almost like she's watching a car crash. And let's not forget that every time I desired to come out to everyone about being a transwoman, she discouraged it because my career is far too successful. Which in my good opinion is precisely why I should, I owe it to my fans to every child or adult who feels trapped inside a body that doesn't belong to them.

I well ignored her well-intentioned advice and came out anyway, while I was a judge on RuPaul's Drag Race. The media lost it people lost it, many angry men who harbored illicit fantasies of me were outraged and women claimed I was far too pretty to be a man. The news beautifully purged me of my ignorant fans, the loyal and open minded remained, and my film career didn't hurt too terribly because I was already in a more artistic genre, people would say I'm the Elizabeth Taylor of Isabella Rosselini, a Bettie Page sort of Isabelle Adjani.

When backlash arrived, Megan lovingly pointed out it was expected because of how people are, I didn't need that. She's not like Anya, who is my warmer friend.

It can't be helped, it's just her nature, she has never dealt with emotions and high stressed situations well, I can accept that.

Despite that, whenever something particularly irks or disturbs her good moods, I'm the first person she calls, and like a dutiful friend I drop it all to run to her beck and call.

She's been starting to see the rapping singer Machine Gun Kelly, the gorgeously painted tower of a man. I never listened to his music and as a fan of Motley Crüe I found The Dirt inaccurate and ridiculous. But he did a very good job as Tommy Lee. I'll admit that.

Megan is mad about Colson, that's his name. She's peanuts and almonds about him, I think it mainly has to do with how apparently skilled he is between the sheets which I can definitely see. But, unfortunately Colson like many artists, suffer from mental health issues, and Meg darling little Nutmeg is not the best with that especially as someone so beautifully intense and tragic as Mr. Baker.

Pete and I have talked about this, my best friend, my absolute beloved, who is actually Colson's beloved best friend as well. So funny that the rapper and I have only met once at Pete's birthday party. He stared at me for a rather long time before offering me a cigarette, I asked if they were French and he laughed before some girl took him away. And that was that, I was called away to Budapest for that Polanski movie.

But Megan has been telling me her forever love has been incredibly paranoid, and blaming her for not being there enough. She was thoroughly upset, and this morning she called me at 5, she couldn't sleep. She told me they fought all through the night and she was glad Casie was at her mother's. I bit back asking about her boys who she spends less and less time with these days. I climbed out of my big, comfy bed away from my canine kinder and American Sable. "Boys, we're going to Auntie Meg's a little early this morning." I Yawned, removing my silk sleeping mask and headscarf. This wasn't the first time I woke up at this time of course, but I savored my days off.

I tie on my vintage circa 1980 Victoria's Secret robe and slip on my satin rabbit shaped slippers before turning on the light on my side table.

I opened the curtains of my French doors that opened up to my bedroom balcony before inhaling the sweet air of the rose hour, and walked through the connecting door to my hardly humble and spacious master bath. No time for luxuriating in my jacuzzi tub, it's a shower today. I rubbed my eyed and messily pinned up what I could of my raven bob, pushing it back by a satin headband and capped it before slipping off my robe and entering my four person shower for one.

The heat was high and delicious and I had to remind myself that this was to be quick, Chanel facial care was my friend and aveeno's oat shower oil and doves macadamia nut body polish were the lovers that kissed my skin.

Once my duties were done I shut off the well pressured shower and dried off with my egyptian cotton towels from the warmer. I rubbed on my toner, serum, essence, moisturizer, spf, eye cream and lip care. I massaged my aveeno baby lotion on and brushed my hair down brushing in the L'Oreal mythic oil, and washed my hands with L'Occitane before moisturizing my hands with their hand cream. I quickly brushed and water flossed my teeth and for makeup it was very basic for my usual, just L'Oreal serum foundation, reddish sweetbriar and rose oil comfort lip oil by Clarins, and Lancome mascara to accentuate my violet-blue eyes a little.

I neglected my underwear today and pulled on my black, v-dipped spandex shorts, and pulled on my white polo halter, backless cropped top that says Los Angeles in black old English text on my right breast. I perfumed my pulse points with eau fraiche by Chanel before rushing to slip on my black 90s slip on sandal wedges.

I washed my chiweenie and skunks faces and leashed them up, before grabbing my Coach black tabby and 90s Prada sunglasses.

I locked up the house and called my driver Kaiden. In record time he pulled up in my black Rolls Royce that I was still too afraid to drive. I'm afraid of driving, yes, and I know it's ridiculous but I can't help the irrational fear. "Morning Kaiden, I hope you had enough sleep."

Kaiden is an ex user. I was at the Beverly Center one day and I saw this hungry young man who happened to be homeless, it upset me so much. I can't stand seeing people on the street and there's so many, so I asked him if he could drive and he said yes, and I asked him how would he like to drive luxury cars for a living. I set him up in a luxury apartment on la brea, got him medical and dental and mental health care all holistic, a signing bonus. The rest is history, Kaiden is like family and he likes to act as my bodyguard as well even though I do have one, Jack. He's protective of me, forever grateful. I look after him, make sure he goes to his therapy sessions and I cook for him and take care of his laundry. I've got a soft spot for the twenty four year old.

"I did, did you?"

"Yes I was a good girl, no parties last night, got my full eight hours father." I teased. "Have you eaten yet?"

"No mother." He teased right back.

I smiled. "I'm going to make breakfast at Meg's, she won't mind you joining, how does that sound?"

"Like I'd ever turn down your food."

"Don't make me blush."

It takes about forty minutes for me to get to Meg's new Encino mans with her rakish knight.

Kaiden parks and takes my skunk, Nikki, as I carry Vince, my chiweenie. I text her that I'm here with Kaiden and she tells me to go around back to not wake Colson.

We do as we're told and Meg is there waiting for us in her pajamas that consist of booty lounge shorts, UGG slippers, a t- shirt that obviously belonged to Colson, and her ebony hair up in a messy bun. "Hi beautiful." I whispered softly before pulling her into a hug and kissed her cheek that was warm from sleep.

"I'm so glad to see you, babe." She said softly as she squeezed me. She waved to Kaiden and slid the backdoor back to let us in.

I set Vince down who followed Kaiden and Nikki, my inked driver knew the routine and headed to the den to give Meg and I privacy.

I slipped off my sandals and followed Meg into the kitchen. I went to the coffee station to start that. I got her and Colson a Nespresso machine and milk frother with many capsules for a housewarming gift.

I put in the rich chocolate capsule that was known for its creamy and chocolate notes, and poured oat milk creamer into the frother. "Okay, I want your guts on the table." I said to her with a smile.

She sighed and slumped her body onto the island. "I can't even like…Mink…" she said my nickname with such exhaustion.

I went over to her and gently rubbed her back aside and pushed a random object off the counter. I love Meg but she's kind of a slob, but a very cute slob. "Deep breaths, like you're using a straw." I encouraged softly.

She did the breathing exercise I taught her and l went to grab three mugs and filled them with coffee, cream, and sugar. I gave her a mug and kissed her head. "Sip some of this and prepare to let It all out, I'll be right back." I left her briefly to give Kaiden his coffee, he and the fur boys were laying on the couch. I then returned to an exhausted Megan sipping her coffee. I took my mug and sat beside her. "Okay, let it out, it's just me."

She teared up as she nursed the glass mug. "It's so fucking hard sometimes, Mink." She whispered. "I can handle it I can but…I mean I'm fucking human, I can handle shit like remember I told you about the accident with Brian."

Brian was her ex husband, only knew him from playing David Silver on Beverly Hills 90210, and he's the father of her boys. They went through a lot together between his ex, being victims of the Bling Ring, and his car accident that had him partially paralyzed for a while and not to mention her affair with Shia LaBeouf. She's right, she can handle a lot.

"But," She continued. "It's fucking insane when you get called up at work from your fiancée, and he fucking tells you you're not there…" her eyes are watery and her voice starts to break.. "And talking crazy shit like somebody's after him, a-and he has a goddamn gun in his mouth!" She whispered hysterically before crying on my shoulder.

I felt my throat run dry, my tongue heavy, I set my mug down and pulled her into a hug as she wailed. Colson tried to kill himself? When was this? He must be in some awful pain to feel like he needed such an awful way out. I took a deep breath to push my own floodgates back, because it's not about me. "He was using at the time, he stopped since then, but I can't get that out of my head, Minka. I fucking can't. Why the hell would he do that to me? And I have been there for him I'm always there, I'm starting to think he wants me to stop my career and keep me in this fucking house!"

My blood ran cold, no wasn't the time for Megan to make it about herself. She Knew what she signed up for with Colson, he trusted her enough to be vulnerable with her. I took a deep breath. "Meg, I'm going to run you a bath, relax, listen to a true crime podcast and I'll make you breakfast okay? and try to clean this place up." The sink was full of dishes.

She let out a shaky breath of relief before hugging me tight. "Bitch, I swear to God I don't know how I got along without you before."

I wiped her eyes. "Please, I'm just nosy." I took her mostly empty coffee and put it in the sink before we both crept upstairs. The bathroom was chaotic and I ended up doing a quick cleaning and made a mental note to have Petra order them that new kItty litter I saw on TV with the cat goddess. I found some Lush bath bombs and put them in the big, hot jacuzzi tub, poured Laura Mercier in and lit some candles. I had Alexa put on some true crime and had the towels set up in the warmer.

Once Meg was situated, I crept back down to the kitchen. I had music on low and gathered ingredients from the fridge and pantry. From scratch I made Russian, honey poppy seed roll, croque Madame sandwich, and fruit salad. I made orange juice from scratch and added turmeric-ginger shots. I was cleaning the kitchen with the vigorous intention of making it spotless, dancing to 'Giant' by The The, swaying my hips when a familiar voice breaks into the scene. "Am I interrupting something?"

I stopped abruptly holding the broom, and spun around to see none other than all 6'4 of freshly awakened Colson Baker. He looked Michelin level delicious in boxers that hung low on his hips and absolutely nothing else.

His cobalt blue eyes weren't looking at her, they were staring. They traveled down her body making her feel self conscious. Like most people, she's attracted to him, he has that typical Taurus beauty that has you hypnotized. No one would ever guess from her vintage, art house style but, the entire punk rock and tatted I just got on parole for good behavior look is her absolute favorite.

"I just made some breakfast, Meg's in a bath, would you like some coffee?"

He sucked his lip in before giving me another once over. "Yeah, have you seen my lighter? Shit it looks clean in here."

"I have and no, you're not smoking right now." I said as I handed him his coffee.

He smirked and sat down at the island with his mug. "Okay ma." He moaned as he sipped the coffee. "Damn I love this shit, even though it gives me the shits."

I smiled. "Everything gives you the shits because you're taurus, you guys have issues." I teased as I made his plate. Megan is the same, the beautiful actress is quite gassy.

"Meg told me you know a lot about astrology."

I set his plate down, and a glass of the juice I made. "My mother was into it, her great grandmother was a gypsy from Krakow."

"That's bomb, was she psychic?"

I gave him a secretive smile. "I'll be back." I had Kaidens plate and bowls for all the animals in the house. After making sure everyone got their food, except for Megan because she's still in the bath, I grabbed my plate and joined Colson, who was inhaling his plate. "Fuck, this is so what I needed. You can cook, you know that?"

I don't know why I liked hearing his approval, he's just one of those people you always want to impress perhaps. "Glad you like it, I love cooking, I believe a good meal can fix just about anything."

"Well maybe if you hosted Thanksgiving this year, it'll fix how fucked up I am." He finished his sandwich looking like he wanted to say something. "She told you, didn't she?"

I didn't respond, which answered his question. "Did you come here to check up on her? And chew me out?" He had a defensive tone, used to people yelling at him to get his shit together no doubt.

"Truthfully, I wanted to make sure you were okay. Colson…I know we hardly know each other, but I worry about you. And you don't need a lecture you need…" he needs someone to understand him, he needs comfort, he needs everything Megan isn't giving him right now. But I didn't say that. "A few good meals." I finished.

His eyes were on me as his teeth tore into the poppy seed roll. My eyes admired him, he's so beautiful, the way he was put together was perfect. How could someone so beautiful be so broken? I didn't want to give him the you're not alone spiel, but he isn't. He's a true artist, he feels more than the average person and has gone through so much, being proven again and again he's no one's priority. He just wants to feel that he matters that his demons are wrong. He doesn't need to be told how to deal with his mental health.

Anything Anything by Dramarama played on my Spotify, he perked up before bobbing his head to the moody yet bouncy rock music. "Yo, I felt that before. I like these lyrics."

"Yeah me too, I love music like this, that makes you feel so raw."

I sang along but stopped as Colson stared at me wide-eyed. "Sorry, I know I'm not good." I said sheepishly.

"No! No, you actually have a very beautiful voice. Why didn't you ever do anything with it?"

I could feel my skin heat up. "I…acting is more of my calling and I thought my voice sounded too squeaky to be any good."

"Well, you can do both, it's done everyday. "

I smiled as I finished up my meal. "After you're done I'll clean up and get out of your hair, Meg's plate is in the microwave okay?"

"Nah you can stick around, kinda having a calming effect on the house. Like human sage." He smiled.

My heart raced and I couldn't help but return his effortlessly pretty smile.

He spoke again due to me not answering. "If you're not busy, I know you got a lot going on."

I took out my phone to text my manager. "We're good, I pushed it back."

His eyes lit up. "Cool, you play Mario Kart?"

"Never have." I don't play video games but for Colson, I will. "I guess you'll have to teach me."

"You're so…"

I bit my lip. "What?"

"You're like someone went back in time and brought you here, it's cool."

I laughed. "Thank you, I suppose."

"Hey, for real though, where's my lighter? I was a good boy and ate my food."

"More like inhaled it." I teased before going to a drawer and pulling it out and handing it to him, our fingertips brushed and I swore I felt an electric jolt. How strange. Our eyes met and I laughed before gently stroking his nail. "I need to give you a manicure, your paint is chipped." I took his hand and pressed a chaste kiss to it. I was always affectionate to all of my friends, kisses and hugs, they always teased me that despite looking like a child I behave like I'm someone's aunt that hasn't seen them in a while.

Colson must have not liked it because he stared at me like I grew two heads. I got up from the table and took his empty dishes. "I'm sorry, I forget not everyone likes to be touched."

"No, I– it's cool, I…liked it. It's just, unless it's someone I'm with, I'm not used to being touched."

"Maybe you're platonically touch-starved." I suggested as I loaded the dishwasher.

"Maybe you could help me satiate that."

A shiver ran up my spine at him saying satiate and it shouldn't have. He doesn't need more people who lust after him or want him. He needs someone to care just to care and not to gain.

"I was in a mental hospital for six months." I said suddenly as I started the dishwasher.

It was quiet for a moment and my heart was racing because Maybe I said the wrong thing.

"Minka…you don't have to say anything…" His voice was soft and tender.

"I want to, I want you to, to…I'm not just blowing smoke up your ass when I said I understand. I'm not just placating and patronizing you to make myself feel better 'helping' or to say I tried." I took a deep breath and turned around to face him, my back against the counter. His eyes wandered over my image again. "Colson, I was bullied so badly and I didn't know what I was…it was all so confusing, so awful…I didn't react too well…I don't know what I hated more, the hospital or school. My mom couldn't handle me being away that long and took me back home. I'm glad she did. She made it a little easier and less confusing…I don't know what I'd do without her." The last word turned into a frightened whisper. "I lost her almost two years ago and…it hasn't been easy, I feel so empty. I know it was awful for you when you lost your father Colson, even if he wasn't the father he should have been." A cold tear slipped down my cheek and I closed my eyes and turned away. I took a drying towel and dabbed my eyes carefully. I checked my reflection in a dish and turned back around To face him. He stared again, always staring.

"Minka…I'm so…sorry." His pretty powder blue eyes teared up.

I quickly made my way over to him and gently took his hands. "Goodness, you're tall." I put on a good smile. ''Don't you dare feel bad for me, and besides we're not making this about me. I just want you to know you can talk to me, be raw with me. You can be sushi!" I attempted to joke, he cracked a smile.

Unexpectedly, he pulled me into a hug. It was such a warm and comforting one, strangely it made me feel safe. I felt so selfish for thinking that way. I wrapped my arms around his slender waist. I think he needs a hug, but it's easier if he convinces himself it's for me.

We stayed like this for a while. He smelled like warmth and sleep and a little kush.

"Hey, I smell food!" It was Megan's raspy, sensual voice.

I pulled back from Colson fast enough to cause whiplash. Quickly I got her plate from the microwave and her juice from the fridge, handing it to her and pressing a kiss to her cheek. Colson went over to hug her from behind and kiss her neck. She giggled and turned to kiss his mouth.

I felt rude being here as their kissing became more intense, quietly I left the kitchen and headed into the living room. "Kay, gather pups, let's go." I texted my agent to tell him nevermind.

Music in Chapter:

#colson x oc #colson baker x reader #colson baker #mgk fanfic #mgk smut #mgk imagine #mgk x reader #machine gun kelly #megan fox #Spotify

[sourwolf-sterek32]

The Dirt (Your Version)

Summary: Meeting Nikki Sixx and Tommy Lee was a coincidence. Being friends was a choice. But falling in love with them both was beyond your control.

Or

A rewrite of The Dirt with all the highs and lows of Mötley Crüe from your perspective.

Pairings: Nikki Sixx x Reader, Tommy Lee x Reader, Nikki Sixx x Tommy Lee x Reader

Word Count: 4.1k

Trigger Warning- self-harm, mentions of past child abuse and cancer

Previous Chapter

Chapter 19- Truth comes out

"Who did this to you?" Nikki questioned, his fingers brushing over the dark bruise around your neck.

It had been a long time since you had heard that protectiveness in the bassist's voice. It had been a long time since you had seen him. And an even longer time since he had touched you like this.

"It doesn't matter." You sighed.

"Was it Vince?"

"What? No! He would never hurt me. Never." You insisted and Nikki nodded, his brows furrowing as he brushed his thumb over the bruise carefully.

"Tell me who and I'll fuck 'em up."

"It was my father and Vince already fucked him up."

Nikki's eyes widened in surprise knowing you hadn't been in contact with your father since you were a teenager. Nikki had questions. You could tell that he had many questions to ask but seemed to be holding himself back.

His sea green eyes were watching you worriedly. The last time you saw each other was that day at the studio. The day Vince had quit, and you walked away.

The guilt of that weighed heavily down on your shoulders. Mötley Crüe were finished. It didn't matter that they had a new singer, the band was over the moment Vince left and it was your fault.

"If you want me to leave. I'll leave." You whispered.

"I don't want you to leave, princess."

Just hearing that old nickname bought tears to your eyes and you lowered your head so he wouldn't see them fall. Nikki Sixx had seen you cry too many times to count over the years. You didn't want him to see you cry anymore.

"Come inside. Can I get you a drink?" Nikki offered. "I'm sober, so there's not many options."

You smiled, heart swelling with pride hearing that.

"Water is fine."

He disappeared in the kitchen, and you walked over to his couch and sat down hugging your knees to your chest. Nikki returned shortly after handing you a glass of cold water which you took with a small smile.

"It's not that I'm not happy to see you after all this time, because I am. But what's going on?" Nikki asked worriedly.

"Skylar died."

"Oh, fuck." He sighed heavily the shock of that information hitting him hard. "I'm so sorry."

You fiddled with the glass of water as Nikki walked around the couch and sat down beside you.

He asked what happened. You told him about the tumour and cancer that spread through the little girl's body. He asked about Vince, and you told the truth. Your brother was a mess but was trying to get himself better.

The two of you sat together in silence after that, Nikki trying to process everything while you sat there fiddling with the empty glass trying not to cry.

Grieving was hard.

Whether it was for your own baby or someone else's. Grief in general for a lack of a better word... sucked.

The suckiest part about it was how lonely grieving made you feel. And yeah, sure, your family had been mourning the loss of Skylar. But you've been mourning the loss of your own baby too because you had never really allowed yourself to grieve that unborn child until now.

And then you'd felt angry at yourself for it because that was in the past and Skylar had just died. Your little niece had just died, but you weren't only thinking about her. And that made you feel guilty. And then that guilt turned into anger. And you were angry at yourself for being angry because dear God, it wasn't like they had died on purpose, but it happened, and you couldn't save either of them.

So, you were angry.

You were angry at the world because it kept spinning after those horrible deaths. And you were angry that you were still living when Skylar had her whole life ahead of her and your own baby never got to draw its first breath.

But you know what? You'd take the anger, the sadness and the guilt because the only reason all of that existed within you now was because love existed first. Because it still existed in you now. And you knew that if you had loved Skylar less or never found out about your pregnancy, things would be easier, but you didn't want to live in that world.

So, yeah, you had a lifetime of those sticky grief feelings ahead, but you welcomed them with open arms because you had four years of love with Skylar and a couple months of knowing about your baby and that will always, always be worth it.

"Shit, princess."

Your head snapped in Nikki's direction to find his sea green eyes swimming with tears, and you very quickly realised that you had just said all of that out loud.

"Can I hold you?" He asked, wiping his teary eyes.

"Please."

Nikki shifted closer on the couch before wrapping his arm around your shoulders, pulling you gently into his side and kissing the top of your head. You buried your face against his chest and squeezed your eyes shut not wanting this moment to end because you had missed this. You had missed him so fucking much.

Nikki eventually let go of you, saying something about needing to piss before he disappeared leaving you on the couch. You were pretty sure that the bassist just needed a moment alone to compose himself because he hadn't allowed himself to mourn or grieve over your unborn baby until now either.

You reached up and rubbed your thumb over the scars and cuts on your wrist thinking about your brother. Thinking about Skylar. Thinking about Razzle. Thinking about your unborn baby. Thinking about everything.

You were so lost in thought you didn't hear Nikki approaching until he sat back down beside you causing you to nearly jump out of your skin at his sudden presence. His shoulder was touching yours and you quickly shifted your bracelets to cover the cuts.

You leant your head against his shoulder, the two of you remaining quiet for quite some time, but you didn't need to fill the silence. That was the nice thing about Nikki, he could appreciate silence when others wouldn't. Not needing to speak just for the sake of talking.

He kissed the side of your head and squeezed your hand for comfort, knowing how everything was taking its toll on you.

But he didn't know everything. He didn't know about those dark thoughts that still haunted you. He didn't know about the cuts hidden beneath your sleeve.

"Let me see your neck." Nikki suddenly said, speaking up for the first time in a while.

He hooked his index finger under your chin tilting your head up as you lifted it off his shoulder. You hadn't had a chance to look in the mirror and see the damage yet, but by the frown forming on Nikki's face, you knew it wasn't great.

"Does it hurt?"

You shook your head and gently touched the angry purple and blue finger shaped bruises with a small wince, "I'm fine. It only hurts when I touch it."

Nikki didn't seem happy with that answer. His frown only deepening as he inspected the marks carefully.

He shouldn't care about you though. Nikki should be angry at you for what happened in the studio. He should be furious. He shouldn't be worrying or caring about you. You didn't deserve it. You didn't deserve him.

"You should hate me." You whispered.

Nikki's eyes met yours, "what? Why?"

"I'm the reason for Mötley Crüe's downfall. It's all my fault."

"It's not."

"It is!" You answered a little louder than you meant but you couldn't help it. "I mean, fuck, you warned us at the start, Sixx. You said hooking up with me would jeopardize the band and now look what happened."

"That's not on you."

"It is."

"It's not. That's on all of us." Nikki insisted and you knew there was no point trying to argue with him on this.

You sighed, "I should go. I-I don't know why I came here. You have your own life... I'm sorry."

You stood up from the couch but before you could walk back towards the door, Nikki suddenly reached out and grabbed your hand stopping you.

"Don't go." He said, his voice nearly pleading as he looked up at you with gentle sea green eyes. "It's getting late. Just stay here tonight. You can take the spare bedroom. Please. Just don't go. Not like last time."

You hesitated for a moment as you glanced over at his front door before looking back at him and nodding in agreement. Nikki's shoulders relaxed instantly, and he gave your hand a gentle squeeze before he showed you to the guest bedroom.

Given Nikki Sixx's track record with girls, you were expecting him to try make a move or convince you to share his own bed, but to your surprise he was a complete gentleman. He had matured a lot since the last time you saw him. So much had happened since then, yet for some unknown reason, Nikki still cared about you.

You ended up sleeping on the couch that night because the mattress in the spare room had a very distinct scent of urine on it. Underneath the black sheets were multiple yellow stains and although they appeared to be old, the smell was definitely there, so you retreated back to the couch.

It wasn't so bad. You had slept in worse places especially while on tour with the guys. So, a blanket on a leather couch was actually pretty good in comparison.

You laid there staring up at the antique looking ceiling fan above you in the dim light unable to fall asleep. Your mind wouldn't shut off. You kept thinking about Skylar which then turned into thinking about Vince and what your father had said.

Your entire life had been a lie.

Vince wasn't your brother, and your father wasn't even your real father. And your mother... she killed herself after giving birth to you. Did she not want you that badly? Did she really think that leaving you with that abusive piece of shit would be better than whatever she could provide? Was a bullet to the head the only choice she had?

Your mind was a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions as you laid there squeezing your wrist feeling the calming sting of the cuts.

You must have fallen asleep sometime though because the next thing you knew, your eyes were snapping open, and you sat up gasping for air.

A gunshot echoed in your mind. Your mothers blurry figure falling to the ground in a pool of her blood. Your fathers angry voice screamed in the background somewhere. You could still feel his hands around your neck choking you.

"Y/N, hey. Just breathe. You're okay, just breathe." Someone's voice suddenly said, but through the haze in your head you couldn't figure out who the voice belonged to let alone trying to focus on breathing.

You couldn't breathe. It was like your father was still choking you. All the air had gotten sucked out of your lungs and there wasn't anything you could do about it. You could feel your chest tightening as you buried your face into trembling hands trying to calm yourself down, but it wasn't working.

A small voice in the back of your head was telling you that you were having a panic attack, but that little piece of information did nothing to help.

"Hey, hey, hey. Look at me. Y/N, look at me."

Somehow you forced yourself to lift your head and your eyes locked with familiar sea green ones. Nikki was looking at you in worry, but you just shook your head unable to shut your brain off as the lingering nightmare flashed through your mind on repeat.

"It's okay. Deep breaths. Y/N, princess, just breathe. Copy me, okay?" Nikki instructed, kneeling down in front of you as he took in an exaggerated deep breath, and you mimicked him before he released the breath slowly and you did the same as he repeated the action.

It took a while, but eventually you managed to get your breathing under control. Your heart was beating out of your chest, your body shaking, but you were breathing. Small victories.

Nikki was kneeling beside the couch watching you worriedly and you only just realised that he was shirtless. Has he been shirtless this whole time? How the fuck did you miss that little detail? Or big detail because Nikki had definitely been working out since the last time you saw him. His chest and arms were more muscular than you had ever seen them.

You rubbed your face with trembling hands trying not to think about his attractive body before you slowly sat up on the couch with a heavy sigh.

"Shit, I'm sorry." You whispered, realising that he had just witnessed you totally freak out.

"You don't ever have to apologise to me."

"Did I wake you?"

"No. I was already awake."

It was a clear lie to make you feel better, but you appreciated it. Nikki didn't move from beside you though. His hand was hovering over your arm like he wasn't sure if he should touch you right now or not.

"Are you okay?"

Nope. Not even remotely okay, but were you going to admit that? Absolutely not.

"Yeah."

Nikki didn't say anything after that and you were pretty sure he saw straight through your lie, but he didn't call you out on it. He was good like that. He understood not wanting to talk after nightmares, God knows he was riddled with his own demons in his sleep too.

"Do you want to be alone?" He asked eventually, breaking the silence.

You shook your head because the thought of being alone with your thoughts sounded like hell.

Nikki simply nodded before he stood up and sat down on the couch beside you leaving a respectable gap between you to give you some space.

You traced your fingers over the bruise on your neck thinking back to what your father had said.

"Is it hurting?" Nikki asked worriedly watching you touch the bruise gingerly.

You shook your head, "no. I'm just thinking about something he said before he, uh, strangled me."

"What did he say?"

"That he's not my real father. Said my mother dumped me on his doorstep as a baby and then killed herself."

"Jesus." Nikki swore softly under his breath not knowing what else to say to that.

You remained quiet for a moment biting your lip fighting back tears you could feel coming. You were so God damn sick of crying.

"It means Vince and I aren't even related." You whispered.

Nikki must have heard the crack in your voice because he turned on the couch to face you properly. The only good thing about your childhood was having Vince as your big brother. But it turned out that he wasn't even your brother at all.

"There's more to family than blood, Y/N." Nikki said gently, hesitantly resting his hand on your shoulder. "I know that better than anyone."

You sighed with a small nod wiping the tears from your eyes before they could fall, and Nikki squeezed your shoulder comfortingly.

Vince had said that it didn't matter. He said that you were still his sister no matter what, but it still felt wrong knowing your entire childhood and sibling bond had been bought up on a lie.

"You and Vince, you're family. Nothing is going to change that."

You glanced over at Nikki and smiled softly needing to hear that more than anything, "thanks, Sixx."

Neither of you spoke for a while after that. Nikki flicked on the television giving you a much-needed distraction from your thoughts. He switched the channel to MTV and lowered the volume down while he leant back against the couch and kicked his feet up on the coffee table.

"Why were you sleeping on the couch?"

"Spare bed smells like piss." You answered honestly glancing over at him.

Nikki sighed, "that would've been Slash. He's peed on that bed a few times. Sorry, I thought it was clean after the last time."

You screwed your face up in disgust which caused Nikki to smile before he turned his attention back to the television and the two of you fell into comfortable silence after that.

An hour or so ticked by. The clock on the wall across the room indicated that it was nearly six in the morning. Nikki had fallen asleep beside you a while ago. His head was tipped back against the back of the couch, his hair covering the side of his face as he snored softly.

You watched the bassist sleep for a few minutes before you quietly slipped away and made your way outside through the back door.

It was still dark outside and the view from his back porch was stunning. His house was on a hill at the far side of town and overlooked the entire city. The lights of Hollywood shone brightly in the distance, and you leant against the porch railing taking in the stunning view.

You rolled the sleeve up exposing the cuts along your inner arm that were now on full display as you glanced down at them in disgust. The skin was painted with a mixture of fresh and old cuts, some healed and scarred, others bright red and fresh.

You covered your wrist with your hand and squeezed welcoming the pain as the fresh cuts started to sting, but it wasn't enough.

The pocketknife in your jeans felt like it was burning against the fabric before you reached into the front pocket and pulled it out.

Your hands trembled as you flicked the blade out. Dry blood stained the stainless steel as you pressed the tip of the blade against an unmarked section of skin on your wrist.

Tears started to burn in the back of your eyes as you sliced through the skin like it was butter. Bright crimson blood instantly rose and trickled down onto the railing you were leaning against. You watched the droplets fall. The cut stinging as the outdoor air blew against it and you closed your eyes, trying to calm yourself.

The pain grounded you.

It was fucked up, you knew this was fucked up, but you couldn't stop. It was the only way you knew how to cope with everything.

The sound of the backdoor opening startled you out of your thoughts. You hastily tucked the knife back into your pocket and pulled your sleeve down trying to hide the blood and cuts.

Nikki hovered in the doorway, but you didn't dare look over at him because you had a sinking feeling that he had seen everything.

"Y/N-"

"I just need some fresh air. Go back inside." You said, barely even recognising your own voice.

"And leave you out here to cut yourself?" He questioned bluntly.

Yeah, you thought.

But you didn't dare say that out loud though. And Nikki didn't leave.

Suddenly, he appeared beside you and his hand grasped your shoulder gently. You tilted your head up at him, but he didn't look at you, his wide eyes were glued to your arm that you were trying to hide, but clearly not very well.

You glanced back down and there was no mistaking the crimson stains soaking through the fabric of your sleeve.

Shit.

"How long?" He asked, his voice barely above a whisper. "How long have you been cutting yourself? Days? Weeks?"

"...more."

You didn't look at him as you spoke, not wanting to see the disappointment and pity on his face.

"Fucking hell." He whispered to himself.

Nikki let go, you could no longer feel his touch on your shoulder, and you fought the urge to reach out and stop him from leaving. Instead, you looked back out at the city lights watching the sun that was now slowly starting to rise along the horizon.

You listened closely for footsteps, but never heard any. Why wasn't he leaving?

A few tense seconds of silence ticked by before Nikki let out a loud exhale and leant down against the porch railing beside you.

"Princess, look at me."

You expected to hear him sound mad, to sound angry or pissed off, but he didn't. He almost sounded sad.

"Please. Fuck- please, Y/N, look at me." He practically begged.

Reluctantly, you lowered your hands from your face and glanced over at him through teary eyes and had to do a double take when you saw his own eyes glistening with unshed tears.

Seeing Nikki on the verge of crying was all it took before the flood gates opened. A violent sob escaped your lips as you cried, Nikki's expression breaking.

"I-I'm sorry. Please... please don't hate me."

Nikki's arm was instantly wrapping around your back, resting across your waist and pulling you into his side which just made you cry even more as you leant into him.

"No, no, sweetheart. I don't hate you. I could never hate you." He insisted, holding you tightly.

"I'm sorry. I-I... I'm so sorry." You whimpered, burying your face against his chest.

"it's okay. Shh, it's okay. It's okay."

He kissed the top of your head gently and just held you while you cried. You had been trying to hide your pain from Vince for so long, trying to be strong for him, but now, you allowed yourself to let your guard down and show your true feelings for the first time in what felt like years, knowing you were safe in Nikki's arms.

Eventually, Nikki lowered his arm, and you sniffed rubbing your face with trembling hands trying to calm yourself down.

He pulled out a red bandanna from his back pocket before he grabbed your arm and began to carefully pull up your sleeve. Nikki paused for a second when he got a look at your inner arm properly for the first time. A soft gasp escaped his lips, and you fought the urge to pull your arm away from him.

It was too late. He had already seen it. The damage had been done.

"Fuck, princess." He swore softly under his breath.

He pressed the bandanna against the still bleeding cut and neither of you said anything while he kept his hand pressed down on your wrist with the bandanna to slow the bleeding while you stared out at the view.

Nikki was staring down at your arm with a frown plastered on his face which was better. A frown was better than tears. You could deal with Nikki being mad at you. Anger you could handle.

"I-I didn't know... I never knew things were this bad." Nikki admitted, his voice thick with emotion. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

"I was the one that walked away."

"I should have called."

"I'm not your responsibility, Sixx." You whispered, wiping the tears from your eyes with your free hand. "I'm sorry. You shouldn't have to deal with my shit. Not after what I did."

Nikki let out a deep exhale, "what happened that day in the studio wasn't your fault, Y/N."

"We both know that's a lie."

"What happened. Everything we did... I would do it all over again."

Your eyes widened in surprise and Nikki smiled softly.

"If I could go back in time, I'd do it all again."

"Nikki-"

"I love you, princess. I didn't get a chance to say it that day, but I do."

You shook your head, fresh tears spilling from your eyes because you didn't deserve his love. You didn't deserve any of this.

"You shouldn't." You whispered still shaking your head. "You should hate me for what happened. You should hate me for this." You pulled your arm free from his grasp, the bandanna sticking to your wrist as you held it up for him to see.

"This doesn't change how much I love you. Y/N, hey, hey. Princess, look at me."

When you didn't move, he lifted his hand pinching your chin with his thumb and index finger and raised your head gently until you were forced to look at him.

"I'm serious. This doesn't change anything. I love you, Y/N. The next time you feel like this, come to me. I want to help. Let me help you."

You simply nodded, not trusting your voice at the moment as a fresh wave of tears resurfaced at Nikki's kindness causing his expression to soften before he pulled you into a hug.

"I just want you to be okay." He whispered, placing a gentle kiss to your forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too." You answered, and you meant it.

You and Nikki had started out cautious of each other. You were his singer's little sister, and he was the mysterious bass player who seemed to hate you.

Somewhere between that first meeting at Rock Candys gig all those years ago and to this moment now, the two of you had broken down each other's walls and had fallen in love without realising it.

-

Next Chapter

MASTERLIST pinned to profile

If anyone wants to be tagged just let me know

A/N: Sorry this chapter took so long. 

I just had to work 10 days in a row with 4 of those days on call after hours too (I hated it) but I finally got a few days off and I am already editing the next chapter which will be posted in a couple of days. 

I hope you are all still enjoying this story. I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments ❤️ 

#motley crue #nikki sixx #tommy lee #nikki sixx fanfiction #nikki sixx x reader #nikki sixx x you #tommy lee x reader #tommy lee fanfic #motley crue fanfiction #motley crue x reader #vince neil #mick mars #the dirt #douglas booth #mgk #colson baker

[mgkxximagines]

The Dirt

As I walked onto the set of the new biopic about Motley Crue, I couldn’t help but feel a mix of excitement and nervousness. Not only was I going to be able to see my boyfriend Colson Baker, but I was also going to see him play my uncle Tommy Lee.

Colson and I had been dating for a few months now, and things were going great. He had met Tommy a few times before, and he had always been supportive of our relationship, but seeing Colson bring him to life on the big screen was a whole new experience.

As I walked onto the set, I saw Colson sitting in a chair, deep in conversation with Tommy. They were discussing the nuances of Tommy’s personality and how Colson could capture his essence on camera. I smiled as I watched them, knowing that Colson was taking the role seriously and that Tommy was excited to see his story come to life.

“Hey, you!” Colson called out as he saw me approach. He got up from his chair and wrapped his arms around me, giving me a kiss. “You ready to see me play your uncle?” 

“I can’t wait.” I replied, feeling my excitement build. “I know you’re going to do him justice. 

Colson smiled and led me to a seat where we could watch the filming, As we watched, I saw him transform into Tommy. He had dyed his hair black and wore the same type of clothes that Tommy was known for - tight jeans, leather jackets, and bandanas. But it wasn’t just his appearance that had changed; his mannerisms and the way he spoke were completely different too. 

As I watched Colson on screen, I couldn’t help but feel proud. He was doing an amazing job, and I knew that Tommy would be impressed too. As the day went on, I watched Colson film scene after scene, each one more impressive than the last. 

Finally, when the day was over, Colson came over to me and gave me a hug. “What do you think?” He asked, a little bit of nervousness creeping into his voice.

“I think you were amazing.” I replied, a huge smile on my face. “Tommy would be so proud.”

Colson grinned, relief washing over him. “Thanks.” He said. “I wanted to do him justice.”

“You definitely did.” I replied, giving him another kiss. “I can’t wait to see the finished product. 

As we walked off the set hand in hand. I knew that this was just the beginning for Colson. He had proven himself as an actor, and I couldn’t wait to see where his talent would take him next. But for now, I was just happy to be by his side, watching him bring one of our family’s most iconic figures to life.

#colson baker imagines #colson baker imagine #colson x reader #colson baker #machine gun kelly imagines #machinegunkelly #machine gun kelly

[oskea93]

Keep it to Yourself (3 - Part one)

✶ DouglasBooth!Nikki Sixx x OC ✶

Warning: Cursing, physical violence A/N: Hey guys! So, this is kind of just a filler chapter that goes along with the last chapter. I promise things are gonna kick up soon and you'll get to see how everything goes down once Bryant is with Nikki 24/7. I just want to also say thank you to everyone that has been reading! You guys are amazing and I appreciate the love so much!!

Taglist: @fancywasmyname1, @kaitieskidmore1, @xxisxxisxxis, @sparxx27,  @cruecifymesixx, @tempt-ress, @a-sia-san, @x-xinenas, @casualcomputerarbiter-blog​, @makaelahdelvalle

“Okay, well thanks for checking.”

I watched as Doc hung up the phone, his hand moving down his face in exhaustion. That was the fourth person he had called and there was still no sign of Nikki. “Haven’t seen him.” He muttered as he started to pace. “I don’t know who else to call or even know where to look. He could be halfway out of California right now for all I know.”

The party quickly died out after Nikki and I’s explosive reunion. Nobody was really in the mood to party anymore after having to dodge glass bottles and whatever else Nikki could get his hands on.

“I doubt he went very far –“ I started. “He’s high off his ass, Doc. He probably went back to his house to get even more loaded.” Doc shook his head. “You knew this was going to happen – You and I both knew he wouldn’t react well to seeing me.”

“Well, I thought he would have a change of heart.” He rushed. “The bastard hasn’t seen you in a few years – he was fucking infatuated with you – he fucking loved you.”

“She left his ass standing on the stoop outside of his house, Doc.” Vince interjected. “Would you be happy to see the woman that left you the way she left him? He was a fucking wreck because of Bryant – You think this time is going to be any different?”

I turned to look at the blonde, “Everyone forgets the fact that he’d been cheating for months.” Our eyes locked. “But yet I’m the asshole because I stood up for myself and left. I guess I should’ve been like the whores you get with that’ll stay no matter how many women you’re fucking.”

He puckered his lips, earning a laugh from the bimbo attached to his side.

Vince and I never had the type of friendship that I had with Mick and Tommy. We tolerated each other and that was it. I was there the day he showed up to Nikki’s apartment.  His girlfriend led the way into the living room – the arrogance flowing from her like a cheap perfume. She was your typical rich girl from the Valley, who was basically just with Vince to piss off her parents. She bought that son of a bitch anything he wanted – spending thousands of her parent’s money on the man. I guess the coke they spent so much time snorting damaged not only her brain cells but also her judgement.

I rolled my eyes in disgust before removing myself from the couch. Doc had retreated to the backyard, a portable phone pressed against his ear as he walked along the pools edge. I decided that this was my que to leave – taking matters into my own hands. I knew of some places that Nikki frequented when we were together. If he wasn’t at his house, then I would try those places. Unlucky for Doc, he was notorious for leaving his car keys in the ignition – easy access for anyone that wanted to take it. I threw my purse into the passenger seat before climbing in and starting the engine. I tore out of Vince’s driveway – speeding onto the freeway as the warm, night air whipped through my hair.

“You think this is okay – You look like you’re ten seconds away from the fucking grim reaper coming for your ass!” He rolled his eyes as he paced the kitchen – his fists balled up at his sides. “Doc called me and ask-“

“You fucking called her?” His eyes wild as he stared Doc down. “You fucking called her!”

“I had no other choice, Nikki.” Doc was terrified. “You’re getting worse every day and you won’t listen to anyone at this point. I had no other person to turn too - She’s your wife, Nikki.”

“Ex-wife.” Nikki and I spoke at the same time.

Doc let out a sigh, “Wife, ex-wife – It’s all the fucking same. You two were married – you were madly in love with each other. Yeah, it ended badly but I know for a fucking fact that Bryant still cares enough about you to not want to see you like this.”

I kept my eyes on Nikki, “If he wants to kill himself with a needle then that’s his fucking choice.”

“What!?” I winced as Doc grabbed onto my arm. “What’re you saying, Bryant?”

Nikki and I stared at each other – he was still fucked up, but I could see the hatred and emotion coursing through his green eyes. “Nikki’s a grown man, Doc. A grown man that’s acting like a little bitch because of all the trauma that’s fucked up his life. He thinks that a needle filled with a feel-good drug is gonna help his pathetic ass – then let him think that. Who am I to say anything – It’s not like I wasn’t there when the real creative juices were flowing – when Motley was at the top of their game. Nikki’s choice is to be a junky – a fucking junky who’s never gonna reach the top – just the bottom of a 6-foot hole and his name added to the overdose roster..."

I parked behind one of the cars that was here earlier – quickly getting out and running towards the stairs. The door was still unlocked, and the house was still a disaster. I didn’t bother calling out of for him – choosing to run up the stairs and into the bedroom. It was a shock to see the once bright room was now painted a dark red – Tiffany lamps with scarves over them casted a low light across the room. The state of the room matched that of downstairs – the only difference being the random dime bags and needles scattered around. The TV that sat in the corner displayed a shattered screen – looking as if a bullet had gone right through it. Doc had mentioned that Nikki would hallucinate, the drugs telling him that his house was being invaded.

“Where are you?” I whispered as I moved towards the notorious closet.

This was his spot – his safe space to do dangerous things. I took a deep breath before slowly pushing the wooden door – the sight causing my stomach to drop. A collection of used syringes and a revolver laid on the burnt carpet. Bullet holes that matched the one that was put in his TV were displayed on the walls around the small area. This was the room that possessed Nikki – lured him in like a siren out in the ocean. The closet was like a mistress – their relationship buried behind the heavy cathedral doors.

“Nikki!”

 My head shot up at the sound of the shrill voice. The female’s heavy heels slapped against the marble floor as she continued to scream his name out. I removed myself from the closet, walking out of his room as I looked over the banister. She was petite blonde girl – late teens – possibly early 20s. Her clothing was typical of those that hung out on the strip – black leather, short skirts, and tits out for the world to see.

“Nikki, please baby –“She wined as she searched. “I need you right now, baby.”

“He’s not here.”  

She stopped dead in here tracks, her eyes nearly bulging out of their sockets. It was evident that she was one of his junky whores. She not only got to fuck around with Nikki – but she also got to indulge in the glamorous drugs that his fame brought in.  

Her face twisted into disgust, “Who the fuck are you?” Typical valley girl. “And how the fuck did you get in my boyfriend’s house?”

I couldn’t help but smirk as her feathers ruffled. It was cute that she thought Nikki cared about her. I pushed myself from the frame, slowly walking down the stairs. I kept my eyes on her as I took each step – her body twitching as the last of the drugs wore off.

My slightly taller frame stood over her, “I think the better questions is who are you?”

She shifted away – her mind trying to tell her to act normal but her body betraying her. “I’m Colette – Nikki’s girlfriend.” She spoke so surely. “Now – “ She cocked her hip to the side. “Tell me who the fuck you are and why are you in my fucking boyfriend’s house.”

I took a second, just looking at her and thinking what a shame it was that she was in the position she was in. Colette was a very pretty girl – probably came from a good family – actually graduated from high school and had a bright future ahead before she met Satan on the strip.

“How old are you?” I dodged her question.

She looked confused for a second, “19.”

Nikki – you fucking bastard.

“Why are you hanging around a 27-year-old man who’s addicted to ever drug known to man? You should be hanging out with your friends – going to college – not sleazing around on the strip looking for a fuck and a bump.”

“Nikki loves me-“

I let out a laugh, “You honestly think Nikki Sixx – big rockstar for Motley Crue – loves and cares about some little chick he met at a bar? Honey-“ I stepped closer. “The only thing that man loves right now is melted and injected into whatever vein he can find. You’re just a piece of ass to him – an easy fuck that he’s just gonna forget about when the drugs start to wear off. You and I both know you deserve way better than that – Don’t be one of those girls that are just hanging around and getting fucked up just to brag that you bagged Nikki Sixx.”

Maybe telling someone the cold truth wasn’t best when they’re coming down from drugs. Colette instantly broke down in tears – literally falling onto the floor as loud sobs left her body. I couldn’t help but just stand there for a second – to stunned to even do anything right away. I wasn’t expecting that kind of reaction – I was honestly waiting for her to start throwing punches or to cuss me out.

“Oh my God –“ I muttered as I pulled her off the floor. “I didn’t say those things to make you cry.” Mascara streaked down her face. “I was just trying to get you to understand that Nikki isn’t all he’s cracked up to be.” She was still crying – her eyes puffy and lipstick smeared as she wiped away the tears.

“Why do you even care?” Her voice cracking.

I took a deep breath, “ I was married to Nikki.” Her eyes connecting with mine. “We got together way before he formed Motley – back when things were less hazy. I was in your shoes at one point. I was that little girl that hung around the strip, and I let Nikki talk me into a lot of things that I should’ve never done, but he sucks you in with those green eyes and that smile.” Colette stayed silent as I spoke. “I guess what I’m trying to say is just stay away from Nikki or any guy with long hair on the strip for that matter. You’re too pretty to get strung out and have your life ruined by these guys.”

Just like a typical addict, her demeanor instantly changed and the girl that I first met reared back around. She pushed away from me, smoothing out her leather outfit as she rolled her eyes. “You’re a fucking liar.” She sniffed back the remaining tears. “You’re probably some psycho stalker that’s in love with Nikki and you’re just trying to push me away. I love Nikki and he loves me, and I won’t let you or anyone else for that matter get in my way, you stupid bitch!”

Before I had time to reply or react for that matter, her ring clad fist connected with my nose. Searing pain and the sound of bones crunching rang through my brain as I stumbled back. Not giving me the chance to recover, she lurched towards me once again, my red hair balled in her fist as she brought me to the ground. I’m usually scrappy, but the bitch was still high, making her have the strength that she typically would never have. If I didn’t think fast there was a chance that she could cause more damage or even kill me. Before she could send another blow to my face, I brought my knee up, practically stabbing it into her stomach, causing her to fall beside me on the ground. She moaned out in pain, giving me the chance to bring her equal payback...

I never liked fighting, but I could never stop once I started. I would go into another world – blacking everything out as my fist did the damage.

Colette was a bruised, bloody mess by the time Doc arrived, pulling me off her scrawny body. I didn’t even know it was him until his voice finally broke through the fog I was in. Pretty sure I hit him to as I flailed around as he tried to get me under control.

“God dammit, Bryant!” Doc yelled as he threw me onto the couch.

I heard another voice as I crashed back to reality – the site of jet-black hair kneeling beside Colette catching my eye. Nikki carefully picked up the young girl, carrying her bridal style up the staircase to his heroin den.

“She did a number on you, didn’t she?” Doc muttered as he started cleaning my face.

“Fuck you.” I spat as I stormed off the couch. My face was pounding – blood still falling onto my shirt as I walked out the front door. I knew my nose was broken – her rings wreaking havoc on my face with each punch but how fucking dare Nikki tend to her first! I could feel tears welling up as I paced the yard.

“Bryant, you need to get back in the house.” Doc spoke from the stairs.

“Fuck you!” I yelled. “Fuck you! Fuck Nikki! And fuck that stupid fucking cunt, Colette!”

Good thing Nikki didn’t have neighbors or else they would be getting a free show right now.

Doc trudged down the staircase, grabbing my arm off guard, dragging me back into the home Nikki and I once shared. “Sit your ass down.” He firmly placed me into the dining room chair, placing a rag full of ice on the bridge of my nose.

“Fuck me.” I winced as the weight and coldness of the ice balanced on my face.

Doc let out a sigh, “I was going to kick your ass myself for stealing my car, but I’ll give you a break this time.” I rolled my eyes. “Now, you gonna tell me what happened between you two?” 

I glanced up at him, “Isn’t it obvious.”

“It’s obvious you let her get the first punch in.” He smirked. “But I wanna know why it all started?”

“Well, he’s 6’1 and a fucking asshole.”

Doc looked towards the ceiling, “You’re fighting a fucking groupie over Nikki? I thought we got past that point back in 1982?”

“I told her that she doesn’t need to be hanging around a guy like Nikki. She’s too young to be strung out and hanging on the streets of Hollywood trying to get the attention of junky rockstars.”

“Brya-“The sounds of sires caught our attention as the cars pulled behind Nikki’s corvette. I walked closely behind Doc as he walked back to the front door, the officers halfway up the stairs. “Evening officers –“He was sweating. “What seems to be the problem?”

The officer looked over Doc’s shoulder, his eyes connecting with mine. “Got a call about an assault on a young woman.” He placed his hands on his belt. “Are you Bryant Mitchell?”

Doc spoke up first, “Listen officer, this is all just a misunderstanding.”

The officer wasn’t having it, “Doesn’t sound like a misunderstanding, sir.” His hands going for the handcuffs. “Now, are you Bryant Mitchell?”

He let her call the fucking cops on me. “Yes, sir.” My voice low.

The man nodded his head, pushing Doc out of the way as he reached moved behind me, grabbing onto my arms as he placed the cuffs around my wrists. “Bryant Mitchell, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say could be used against you in the court of law…”

#nikki sixx #nikki sixx fanfiction #fanfiction #motley crue #1980s #nikki sixx x oc #douglas booth #motley crue fanfic #nikki sixx imagine #mick mars #douglasbooth!nikkisixx #douglas booth fanfiction #douglas booth imagine #motley crue fanfiction #vince neil #iwan rheon #colson baker #tommy lee #daniel webber

[livingmybestfictionallife]

Live Wire--The Dirt--15

Summary:  Wren Ledden, Tommy’s best friend from high school, has had a rough life, and she intends to keep the nitty gritty details of her suffrage to herself until the day she dies. Only Tommy has gotten her to open up about a small portion of her troubles, and it’s only Tommy who she trusts with her life. That is until her life gets turned around sneaking into a concert one night…the same night Motley Crue is born.

A/N: This chapter is a super long filler that’s mostly fluffy, but mentions and discusses self-harm, suicide, and abuse. Additionally, (SPOILERS) there’s mentions of sex and a short sex scene. If it’s not your cup of tea, please know I tried to make it tasteful, but feel free to skip over it.

Also available on AO3

Nikki and Wren had spent the months of 1981 through 1982 as acquaintances  who became friends, and slowly learned to live with each other. They'd grown together in ways so silent to one another that when they decided they wanted a relationship, neither quite knew how to act, let alone react to the other admitting they wanted to be more than friends. The night they first kissed didn't follow up with an admission of their feelings, or either of them even saying they had any feelings towards the other at all. It was a simple fact known in their individual hearts that they wanted the other--soul, mind, and body. There was no vocal acknowledgement on either Nikki or Wren's part that they were actively starting a relationship with one another, no discussion of how that relationship should or should not be presented to the rest of the band, no conversation about boundaries or deal breakers, nothing except the fact that they each wanted the other in ways much more intimate than physicality--more intimate than either of them had ever wanted to know another person.

In public, Wren and Nikki acted as they always had with one another--teasing each other and bantering in somewhat arrogant ways--but in their time alone, their conversations became deeper. Even in their relationship, it took time for each to warm up to the other, but as the months ticked by, both Wren and Nikki found it easier to talk about their pasts with the other, easier to talk about their fears, and easier to trust the other with the information being shared.

Nikki had been the first to open up and paint himself in such a vulnerable light. He'd been home alone with Wren one night, discussing philosophy as they sat across from one another on Nikki's bed when Wren asked about a scar that ran vertically along the inside of his forearm. Instead of the nonchalant lie he normally told people, or even a false version of the truth, he slowly and steadily began to relay the horrors of his adolescence to her until he found himself nearly breaking down in front of her. Suddenly, all of the anger and neglect he felt as a teenager came boiling back to the surface, along with the empty feeling of never being enough for the people he loved. He looked down at his arm, noticed the gentle way her fingers traced the scar, and jerked it away from Wren as quickly as he could. At first, he didn't want to tell the truth. He feared what would happen if Wren listened to his side of the story: would she see him any differently? Would she think he was weak and realize she didn't want to be with someone so hopeless? However, before he could allow himself to think too long on these hypotheticals, he took a breath, looked into her eyes, and extend his arm back out for her to see.

"I pulled a knife on myself just to get away from my mother." His voice was flat. unemotional, and hung in near silence through the room before he decided to say more. Before he could stop himself, Nikki had told Wren about the revolving door of his mother's boyfriends and his step-fathers that would torment his life, and although he did note a few of the good ones that gave him hope, Nikki made a point to share with Wren just how horrible his childhood was. He explained how calming it was whenever he found happiness and stability in the life he had whenever he was shipped away to live with his grandparents; however the calm never lasted once she brought him back to the chaotic cycle of neglect and abuse in her household. "I figured if I could get her arrested, I would finally be free from her, but if I died in the process, well, that was also another way out." Wren could feel her heart sink into her knees as she absentmindedly traced the tip of her thumb across the scar. Feeling the mood shift to that of comfort, safety, and serenity, Wren pulled her legs under herself to sit cross-legged on Nikki's bed.

"Tommy doesn't like to talk about this, but I owe him my life," Wren said softly and found herself growing weaker the longer she looked into those light, hazel-green eyes of Nikki's. "I swallowed a bunch of pulls--some painkillers. some sleep-agents, some I don't even know what the hell they were. I had completely forgotten he was supposed to come over that day, and when he came in, I had passed out. It didn't take a genius to figure out what I had done, so he jammed his fingers down my throat until I'd thrown up and then rushed me to the hospital. I could see how much I hurt him by doing that when I woke up after having my stomach pumped, and it honestly made me feel so much worse about trying to kill myself. As much as I wanted to die then, I'm grateful Tommy saved me. Somehow, he continues to save me."

Wren and Nikki continued to learn how to be vulnerable with others through each other, and as their conversations deepened, so did their passion--for one another, for music, for the band. It was curious for Wren to see how close she'd become with Nikki throughout the beginning of their relationship, yet their interactions with one another in front of the band remained unchanged. She wondered how could part of the pair stay the same during such a drastic change in their personal lives, but part of her knew that their public interaction with one another had been the foundation of their romantic relationship. No change was necessary, there was no need to show what they felt or to announce it for that matter, because they each held one part of the puzzle that was their feelings. Together, they just clicked.

Mick had been the first to find out about Wren and Nikki's hidden relationship about ten months after they had gotten together. The couple had been drinking and smoking pot--Wren only a few puffs here and there to keep the buzz alive, and Nikki blowing through multiple joints at a time to reach the high he'd given up getting through coke due to his promise to her. It was a normal weekday night where they had been left alone due to Vince wanting to take Tommy to the strip clubs late at night. It was always during these times of solitude that Nikki found writing to be most productive, and this productivity only escalated when Wren was around to help him.

Wren sat on the couch with her feet kicked up, and a glass of wine in her hand as she passed the joint back to Nikki who continued to pace through the room. A half-eaten pizza sat on the makeshift coffee table, and beer bottles were littered about the pizza box. Mick had decided to drop by the apartment on a whim. He'd made tentative plans with someone he knew in the area only for them to decide to bail on him only after he'd driven out to the strip. Walking into the scene, everything appeared normal to Mick: Wren and Nikki were having their bickering matches over either lyrics or chords, and she seemed like she was wearing him down until he quipped back with some sarcastic remark that helped no weight when it came to Wren, because he knew that if she was criticizing something, it was for a good reason. Mick took a beer Nikki had offered him, pulled a seat up to the coffee table, and started in on what remained of their pizza. He played a few riffs that Nikki had asked him to in order to better who Wren his vision which she "was refusing to see." Then, he would play the altered version of Nikki's riffs that Wren had rewritten, and together, Mick and Wren convinced Nikki hers were better.

It wasn't until Mick glanced up from the pages of notes Nikki had put in one of Mick's hands and the pizza in the other, that he noticed Nikki stop pacing, make his way towards the pizza, pick up two slices, hand one to Wren, and then plant a soft peck on her cheek before he walked away. Mick silently smirked to himself as he smugly bit into the slice of pepperoni pizza in his hand. It was such a domestic thing, a moment of sweetness that no one ever got the chance to see either of these two rough and rugged people express, and it was this knowledge that kept Mick from bringing it up. He had briefly known Wren for a time when she was hardly thirteen, and even from that encounter, he knew she wasn't one to express her feelings. Hell, since meeting her again with the band, Mick still hadn't seen her be soft with anyone besides Tommy, and he never thought he'd see the day when Nikki Sixx of all people would be so docile with another person.

Mick ended up staying until the early morning hours practicing new songs with Nikki, conversing about theology, becoming a moderator for Wren and Nikki's differing points of view, discussing a variety of topics, and entertaining themselves with a variety of drinks. Shortly before three forty-five, Mick decided it was time to head home and get some rest, but on his way out, he forgot he had pledged to himself he wouldn't mention the little moments of soft, sweet, domestic life that Nikki and Wren had gifted one another with throughout the night.

"I'm glad you two found each other," he said as he made his way to the door. "You git each other well. Just don't hurt her, Sixx, or I'll hurt you."

Tommy was the next to learn Nikki was in a relationship, however they were able to keep Wren's involvement in that relationship a secret for a bit longer than anticipated. Tommy came home early one night from a family dinner with his parents and sister, and he quickly learned Nikki had a girl over thanks to the sound of the bed rhythmically hitting the wall and the heavy breaths that hung in echoes through the apartment. He quickly left the apartment, returned to his parents' house, and waited an hour to phone back home.

"Hello?" Wren asked through her shortness of breath as she answered the phone.

"Hey, Wren, you okay?" Tommy asked upon hearing her panting into the phone.

"I just got done working out," Wren sighed into the line as she leaned against the kitchen wall wearing only one of Nikki's shirts.

"Oh, my bad! Was today a cardio day or something?"

"Yeah, today's cardio day," she responded as a smirk fell over her face. With a laugh hiding in her lungs, she eyed Nikki where he sat on the counter, a bowl of cereal in his hands and a chuckle on his lips.

"When I got back an hour ago, Nikki was...occupied...with a girl. Is it safe to come back?" Tommy asked without a thought in his mind about Wren possibly being the woman Nikki was with.

"It's just me and Nikki at the house now, so I'd assume it's safe for you to come back," she said and watched the playful chuckle on Nikki's face fall to a sultry smirk as he waited for Wren to hang up the phone and return her attention to him. "Tommy's headed back now, so I think we have time for one more round if you make it quick."

For another three months, Wren and Nikki kept up the joke of Nikki having some mystery girlfriend whenever they were around Tommy. Nikki went so far as to leave a pair of Wren's underwear in his laundry for Tommy to find, knowing he wouldn't suspect they were hers. Wren went out of her way to buy a shade of lipstick Tommy would never expect her to wear in a million lifetimes so she could smudge a kiss on Nikki's lips or cheeks or neck, only to wipe all remnants of a the color from her face, only to keep the joke alive. Tommy didn't become fully aware of who Nikki was dating until he heard splashing water and those heavy, sexy breaths coming from the bathroom one afternoon. He decided to wait in Wren's room rather than leave this time, and after a few minutes, he could hear the shower turn off and people exit. Once he was certain Nikki had brought his guest back into his room, and that they were clothed, Tommy emerged from the bedroom only to see Wren sitting in the living room.

"When did you get home?" Tommy asked her as he sat down beside her as she thumbed through a book.

"I've been home, where have you been?" The question left her mouth without a second thought.

"I've been in your room waiting for Nikki to stop fucking his girlfriend in the shower," Tommy grumbled as he kicked his legs over Wren's lap and titled his head back as he heard Nikki walk down the hall towards the living room. "Other people live here too, Sixx!" Tommy shouted out. "Just take it to her place like I do most nights." With a smirk playing on both Nikki and Wren's lips, Tommy's eyes quickly flashed back to his best friend. Her nose was buried so deeply in the book that she was sure her expression wouldn't give away her secret, but her hair was a different story. The soaked brown strands fell around her shoulders in wet waves, and Nikki's black locks were no different. With a quick glance between Wren and Nikki, Tommy's eyes and moth widened. "Oh, shit!" he cried out in realization and then jumped up and trapped Wren in a hug. "Nikki, you better not just be fucking my best friend!"

"I'm not," Nikki grumbled in response as he reentered the room to see his girlfriend tangled up beneath the mess of limbs that was his drummer. His girlfriend...the words still hadn't left his mouth since the pair started their relationship over a year ago, yet they felt so right hearing them in his head.

"If you so much as make Wren cry, I'll end every part of you, Sixx," Tommy tried to threaten Nikki as he eagerly hugged both of his friends in excitement.

"Get in line! Mick has first dibs," Nikki grumbled as he broke free from Tommy's grasp and fell into an armchair to allow Tommy to sit with Wren.

"Mick's known before me? You two are shitty friends for that," Tommy huffed as he threw himself back down and put his legs over Wren again.

"Not to Mick, apparently," she smirked only to have Tommy lightly kick her arm, which caused her to drop her book. "Seriously thought, T. we didn't say anything to anyone."

"Well," Tommy sighed as he locked eyes with Nikki, "how long then?"

"How long since what? Since Mick found out?"

"No, how long have you been fucking my best friend?" Tommy had a faux bitterness in his voice that his excitement over Wren and Nikki being together couldn't hide.

"Dude, she's like your sister! Do you really want to know that?" Nikki asked as he tried not to laugh at how happy he was that Tommy was this  excited for him and Wren.

"You're my friend too, Nikki, so guy-to-guy, how long have you been fucking my surrogate sister?" Wren smirked at how red Nikki's ears became under his jet-black hair as he realized he was being forced to answer the question.

"Only a few months, but we kind of started going out on dates a little over a year ago." Wren bit her lip softly as she heard the words leave Nikki’s mouth. She didn’t expect him to be honest with Tommy about the timeframe of their relationship and its relation to their timeline of intimacy, simply because she knew how the guys were. Tommy had a new girl almost every week as teenagers, and now it seemed he was making the acquaintance of a new girl almost every night. Vince was still technically dating Lovey, but each night he found himself either at a strip club, or fucking a fan before a show. Nikki was definitely a looker, and Wren wasn’t ignorant or naïve enough to think she was anywhere close to his first. Although he wasn’t truly hers, he was the first to not pressure her into something she wasn’t ready for,; he was the first man she wanted to be with, and even then, it was nerve-wracking for her to admit her fears and reservations about sex to Nikki.

Nikki would have taken Wren to bed the night they first kissed had she been anyone else, but he knew enough about her to know not only would that never happen, and trying to do so would be a terrible move on his part. Getting her to open up about what happened in her past with Clay was damn near fucking impossible, and he wasn’t ever going to pry that out of her. He figured that with time, she’d feel safe enough to come to him about it, and until then, he’d just test the waters and see what she was comfortable with. Very slowly, she grew to trust more of her body to Nikki, and each time she did, he tried to show her true pleasure without asking of anything in return. He thought things were fine between them sexually and knew she would eventually come around and either talk to him or feel safe enough to take the next step with him. However, one night roughly five months ago, as Nikki’s hands found themselves around Wren’s waist while she lay next to him in his bed, he could feel a hot tear somehow transfer from her face to his.

“Wren, what’s wrong?” The lights were off in the room, but Nikki swore he could see Wren’s sorrow radiating from her heart. “Come on doll, talk to me,” he said as he pressed his lips to her temple. For a while, she remained unmoving in his arms as his breath traveled gently down her neck and he waited for her response.

“You’re being too good to me, Nikki,” she sighed through a small hitch in her breath. “And I want you! I mean, I really, really want you, I just—”

“Wren, we don’t have to have sex right now if you’re not ready,” Nikki tried to say despite the pulsing in his groin.

“I want to, Nikki, I really want to, it’s just—”

“You went through something hard that you don’t have to talk about, Wren.”

“Clay forced me into a lot, and tying me to a bed while he forced himself on me after I screamed and begged for him to stop is something hard,” she said through anger as the tears slowly stopped falling from her face. “But I don’t want some fucking asshole taking something from me to keep me from wanting to be with you.” Nikki traced small circles on Wren’s back as she leaned into him with her arms wrapped around his shoulders. After he felt her breathing subside, Nikki pulled her even closer to him and whispered softly into her ear.”

"I'm never going to expect something from you, Wren. You should know by now that you don't have to change a thing about you to be special to me."

"Nikki, I know I put up a front, and--"

"You don't, Wren. I know you think you're just playing a part of the badass rock and roll chick, especially when life's being a bitch and you're feeling more vulnerable than you care to admit, but just because shit happens to you doesn't mean you're not that badass. You are one of the only people I can hold an intellectual conversation with, you're defiantly strong willed even though it causes us to butt heads, you're so talented and insightful that I'm ashamed to admit to the fear in the back of my mind that, without you, the band wouldn't be what I can feel it's becoming, and most importantly, you are the single most incredible woman I've ever known. Just so we're clear, you will never have to change anything about yourself for me. I just want to let you know that I’m here when you’re ready, and until then, I don’t mind continuing to show you that I’m not going to push you into anything.”

Wren had her eyes pressed closed as he spoke, but when she opened them, she could see the moonlight fall over his clear skin and dance in his light eyes. Before she could think about her next steps, her lips were on his as she pulled him over her and she lay her back against the bed. She’d wanted this for so much longer than she thought she had and was surprised by how gentle Nikki was with her. Everything about their first time was different than either could have expected. Normally, sex wasn’t something Nikki had to wait for, and was almost always was quick, rough, and near emotionless; however, Wren wasn’t one of the random hookups or cheap dates he was looking to get a quick lay out of. He wasn't lying when he said she was special, but he didn't quite understand how special until then.

Part of Nikki knew his soul was drawn to Wren’s the second she stepped around him and paced out of the men’s room and into the bar, and then again when she made her way through the diner to his table and sat down defiantly across from him. There was a fire in her that drew him to her like a moth to a flame, and it wasn’t long since they met that he knew he’d do anything for her.

From the second they became one, Wren was weak and trembled under Nikki’s weight and touch as she clung to him so desperately. Every motion they made together caused her heart to swell in her chest and her walls to come crumbling down. Nikki sighed heavily and his breath trickled down Wren’s neck and chest as he stared at how beautiful her skin looked as the light from the moon fell over her body as it lay beneath him.

“You’re so beautiful, Wren,” Nikki sighed against her ear as he pressed his bare chest against hers, “so fucking beautiful.” He could feel himself getting close to finishing as he looked into Wren’s eyes and saw them locked on his. The way her mouth hung open as she gasped with each slow thrust he took made him weak, and he felt a pull in his stomach when a soft, longing gasp fell from Wren’s lips. As her nails clasped into his back and her legs tightened around her waist, Nikki couldn’t hold back any more. A low moan escaped his lungs as he felt her clench around him before he collapsed onto her on the bed and got lost in the smell of coconuts as he buried his face in her hair.

It wasn’t long after Tommy found out about Wren and Nikki that Vince was clued into the little secret that had been floating around in the band. He’d finally been caught cheating on Lovey just before a show one night, and despite being upset for about half a second, after the show he wasted no time in making a pass at Wren.

“So, now that Lovey’s gone and you’ve forgiven me for the bullshit in high school, what do you say about getting a drink?” He asked as he tried his hardest to keep his words from slurring. Tommy and Nikki had left her, Vince, and Mick at a table in one of their regular bars—one that her great uncle or one of his friends didn’t own—to get another round of drinks. Wren tried her hardest not to laugh at Vince’s proposition, so she directed her attention to Mick, who was smugly smirking across the table with his eyes narrowed on her. “And not just like this. I mean without the guys as chaperones.”

“Hey singer, I don’t think that’s a great idea,” Mick chimed in after Vince drunkenly ignored Wren shaking her head.

“And why is that? Are you trying to play the long game with her, mister two-kids-and-an-ex-wife?” Vince snarled.

“That’s pretty big talk for the guy who knocked up a girl in high school and hasn’t seen his own kid in who knows how long,” Wren snapped back.

“Damn, Wren. I’m just trying to be nice and ask you out!” Vince grumbled as he finished the drink before him and glanced up to see what was taking Nikki and Tommy so long with the next round.

“And I’m just saying don’t bother,” Mick again tried to intervene on Wren’s behalf in order to keep her and Nikki’s relationship under wraps.

“And why is that?” Vince repeated his question again in a mocking tone as he stared down the guitarist across the booth from him.

“Because Sixx would kick your ass,” Mick muttered as he took a swig of his beer and narrowed his eyes on Vince.

“Sixx? Oh, come on, he hasn’t done shit to try and get with her in the damn year and a half of knowing her. Shit, if he wants her, he’s gotta work quicker than whatever he’s been doing. I’ve waited long enough for him to make his move,” Vince huffed just as Nikki and Tommy returned with the group’s drinks. With a smirk playing on Wren’s lips, as Nikki slid back into the booth beside her, she brought a hand to the base of his head, pressed her lips firmly against his, and smiled into the kiss as she felt his hands fall onto her waist.

“Hey, babe,” she said upon pulling her face from his and seeing Nikki’s taken aback expression.

“What did I do to deserve that?” he asked in sultry tone that was meant to be under his breath but was loud enough for the table to hear.

“Vince was asking me out so I figured it was about time we just let this cat out of the bag,” she said as her fingers wrapped around the chilly glass he’d just brought her.

“Are you fucking kidding me? How long did I miss the window to make a move on you?”

“You’ve over a year late, Vinny,” Tommy said with a laugh in his voice as he saw his two best friends in a new light. Sure, Nikki had been the only other person besides himself who could get away with being physically affectionate with Wren, even before they were a couple. Tommy had noticed since the early months of the band’s existence the subtle ways Nikki would sit closely to Wren on the couch, the way his arm would find its way around her shoulders, the way she would gently rest her head against his, he’d seen it all, but something was different the moment Tommy saw Nikki pull Wren closer to him in the booth, rest his chin on her head, and glare over her at Vince as he spoke.

“Were you seriously just trying to hit on my girlfriend?” Nikki’s gravely voice rolled through the air and caused Wren’s heart to rise as if it were a helium balloon. As the last word of his sentence fell from his lips, Nikki could feel his lungs deflate, his cheeks grow warmer, and his stomach twist into knots. Almost instantly, he became even more aware of her body language—the way she was positioned against him, the amount of pressure she placed on him as she leaned her torso into his, the way her jaw felt as it rested on his shoulder. It was as if his were dialed up to their max so he could detect any non-verbal indication of what he said being either a good or bad move on his part. He didn’t want to have the “what are we?” talk with her because he had been damn near certain that they were a couple—not two people who were dating, not just friends, not even friends that had sex. To him, the second they kissed in the hallway that night over a year ago, they were a couple. Thankfully, the way Wren gently folded herself against him, leaned further into his embrace, and lightly traced circles with her thumb on his thigh was enough to convince him that they were on the same page.

#The Dirt #the dirt motley crue #Motley Crue The Dirt #The Dirt Movie #nikki sixx the dirt #motley crue nikki sixx #nikki sixx #nikki sixx fanfiction #Nikki Sixx Motley Crue #Douglas Booth #douglas booth fanfic #douglas booth fic #douglas booth nikki sixx #douglas booth the dirt #machine gun kelly #machine gun kelly tommy lee #colson baker!tommy lee #tommy lee the dirt #mgk tommy lee #colson baker #mgk #iwan rheon #iwan rheon!mick mars #iwan rheon the dirt #Mick Mars #the dirt mick mars #mick mars motley crue #Vince Neil #motley crue vince neil #daniel webber!vince neil

[lifesasickjoke]

It’s not like she has anything to do with us getting married. Baby, it’s sweet, all right? It’s tradition. + Nikkis facial expression 

#the dirt #the dirt 2019 #douglas booth!nikki sixx #colson baker!tommy lee #machine gun kelly #douglas booth #colson baker #motley crue #mötley crüe #i make gifs now

[kondensaduhhh]

i love how motley crue fans keep shitting on mgk like lmao, bro, if you think mgk talking about how hot teen girls are, said racist stereotypes, is bad, wait until you hear abt all the shit motley crue actually did, like beat their wife, and said the n word, actually having sex with minors (bc lets be fuckin real here, they totally fuckin did), and so many more :]]

#theyre all sucky human beings lol #get ur fuckin head outta ur ass #bffr istg fuckin hypocrites #mgk #machine gun kelly #colson baker #tommy lee #vince neil #nikki sixx #mick mars #motley crue #mötley crüe #the dirt #the dirt 2018