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#companion of pretzel
birdsflypiecemeal · 7 months
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i fucking love fnc
just
The Bastard and the One.
The One. Perfect in every way, a holy vessel of the gods, and will conquer the world for his people! The Chosen One is taught to hate anything that is different from himself and the perfect image of those around him, but he is not the One. He was never made for the role the elders wanted him to be, oh, no. They worked him to the bone to get him there but in the end it was all too clear to them that this pathetic boy in front of them could never be what they had imagined the Chosen One to be. So Gillion Tidestrider cannot be it. They tried to get him to fit, but he can't. No matter how hard he tries, and gods, he TRIES. They banish him. And, after floating on the surface, refusing to leave the water, for so long and wallowing in self hatred, WHO LIFTS HIM OUT OF THE WATER???
The Bastard. The Bastard with warm eyes, a shit-eating grin, a missing tooth, and just ONE earring. Where is the other one? What happened to his tooth, and how could one kid have so many scars? He is HUMAN. The face of human nature, imperfection personified. He sailed on the waters which Gillion used live in with as much ignorance as possible, as a child, not thinking deeper than the surface and what could be used for himself. The Haunted One. The Bastard. The Pirate. He has seen so many things that while Gillion Tidestrider may be Gillion Tidestrider, Champion of the Undersea, Hero of the Deep... to Chip he's just another person. One that can be used. While Gillion Tidestrider's view of the world is confined to a perfect box, Chip's is vast and unlimited and they are POLAR OPPOSITES.
Gillion's name, his status, means so much to him. The world and more. Chip doesn't even know his "real name," and "Chip" is real enough, thankyouverymuch! Chip is everything Gillion was taught is wrong in the world, and he is the one who lifts him out of the water, and sees him as more than his destiny. Oh, and Chip wasn't taught anything. He doesn't even realize how much that matters to Gillion.
anyway
i like silly pirates
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ashchoo · 8 months
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would you want some fish
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instantly floods everything with fish with no hesitation
GAH!!—I’VE BEEN FISHED!!
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I do have one more fish to add to the pile,,,,Gillion Tidestrider :D
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i am the dragon of the dungeon. wait why is the bard walking up to me alone?
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enchantedanimal · 1 year
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I'd like to think Pretzel and Lizard would be friends :)
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pretzelfishes · 11 months
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everything wrong with me can be perfectly explained by the fact that my taste in men ranges from corso riggs to malavai quinn
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majjiktricks · 9 months
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i fucking love cream cheese
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ollierachnid · 2 years
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laying on my back smiling vacantly and remembering that ian marter was not only bisexual but also built as fuck
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boygirlctommy · 8 months
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cries wait the next episode is called oath of vengeance. oh god pretzel? pretzel? pretzel? are you okay? pretzel?
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valeovalairs · 3 months
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Guys look it’s Gillion Tidestrider, Champion of the Undersea-
-Hero of the Deep, Pigeon Lord, The One, Warrior of Rock and Roll, Singer/Songwriter of Gillion and the Tidestriders' hit single "The Hole in Your Heart", Moisture Master, Horse Tamer, Defenestrator of the Adulterous, Friend of Dugon, Dugon's Best Friend, Dugon's Pal, Walking Fish, Fish, Dirt Eater, Chum of Chibo and Chums, Co-Captain Gill of the Riptide Pirates, Co-captain of the Albatross, Companion of Pretzel, Paramount Champion, Knighter of Julian That One Time, Pretzel Carrier, Leviathan Tamer, Serpent Rider, Brother of Dugon, Healer of the Sick, Friend of Duke D Dukem Duke of Dooke, Eater of Grass, Beater of Ass, Grandma's Good Boy, Dismantler of Evil, Eater of Shit, Capitalism Hater, Royalty Assassinator, Sufferer of the Spice, Weed Eater, Slayer of Evil, Loffinlot Liberator, Fruitninja, Eater of Sand, Juice Enjoyer, Rescuer of John, Fishy. Bitcoin Miner, NFT Purchaser, Driplord, Grandmillion, The One Who Will Change The World, Roller of Tens, Grimm Slayer. In Need of a Dad, Goblin Gobbler, Lime Lord, Tuber, Chip's Nightmare Fuel, Monsoon And Moon Son, Eater of Ass, Pretzel Seeker, Vibe Master, Pussy Slayer, Murderer of Vice Admiral Kuba Kenta, Gillion Motherfucking Titty-sucking Tidestrider, Egg Hater, Bong Obliterator, Baby signer, Babygirl, The Red One, Skillion Liedsneaker, Fishy Boy, Tidestrizzer, Rizz Reverent, Jorts Storm, Hero of the Hour, Popper of Sacks, Tree Hugger, Summoner Rider, Brother of Lucy and Gilly-
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one without the background effects
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amjustgoose · 6 months
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Big fan of those fanarts of all of Charlie's characters where it's just
- Charlie Slimecicle
- Charlie Slimecicle
- Charlie Slimecicle
- dnd character that vaguely looks like Charlie Slimecicle
- dnd character that really looks like Charlie Slimecicle
- SIR GILLION TIDESTRIDER, CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA, HERO OF THE DEEP, PIGEON LORD, THE ONE, WARRIOR OF ROCK AND ROLL, SINGER/SONGWRITER OF GILLION AND THE TIDESTRIDERS' HIT SINGLE "THE HOLE IN YOUR HEART", MOISTURE MASTER, HORSE TAMER, DEFENESTRATOR OF THE ADULTEROUS, FRIEND OF DUGON, DUGON'S BEST FRIEND, DUGON'S PAL, WALKING FISH, FISH, DIRT EATER, CHUM OF CHIBO AND CHUMS, CO-CAPTAIN GILL OF THE RIPTIDE PIRATES, CO-CAPTAIN OF THE ALBATROSS, COMPANION OF PRETZEL, PARAMOUNT CHAMPION, KNIGHTER OF JULIAN THAT ONE TIME, PRETZEL CARRIER, LEVIATHAN TAMER, SERPENT RIDER, BROTHER OF DUGON, HEALER OF THE SICK, FRIEND OF DUKE D DUKEM DUKE OF DOOKE, EATER OF GRASS, BEATER OF ASS, GRANDMA'S GOOD BOY, DISMANTLER OF EVIL, EATER OF SHIT, CAPITALISM HATER, ROYALTY ASSASSINATOR, SUFFERER OF THE SPICE, WEED EATER, SLAYER OF EVIL, LOFFINLOT LIBERATOR, FRUITNINJA, EATER OF SAND, JUICE ENJOYER, RESCUER OF JOHN, FISHY, BITCOIN MINER, NFT PURCHASER, DRIPLORD, GRANDMILLION, THE ONE WHO WILL CHANGE THE WORLD, ROLLER OF TENS, GRIMM SLAYER, IN NEED OF A DAD, GOBLIN GOBBLER, LIME LORD, TUBER, CHIP'S NIGHTMARE FUEL, MONSOON AND MOON SON, EATER OF ASS, PRETZEL SEEKER, VIBE MASTER, PUSSY SLAYER, MURDERER OF VICE ADMIRAL KUBA KENTA, GILLION MOTHER-FUCKING TITTY-SUCKING TIDESTRIDER, EGG HATER, BONG OBLITERATOR, BABY SIGNER, BABYGIRL, THE RED ONE, SKILLION LIEDSNEAKER, FISHY BOY, TIDESTRIZZER, RIZZ REVERENT, JORTS STORM, HERO OF THE HOUR, POPPER OF SACKS, TREE HUGGER, SUMMONER RIDER AND BROTHER OF LUCY.
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hanasnx · 6 months
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MINORS DNI 18+
MODERN!ANAKIN SKYWALKER is happy to see you when you stop at his garage to drop off his lunch. His coworkers know about you, wolf-whistling as a joke when he wraps a grease-streaked sweaty arm around you to tug you into him, greeting you with a wet kiss.
"Don't get her all dirty, Skywalker." one taunts from afar. His companion elbows him.
"Nah, he'll do that later."
"Ignore them. Long day." Anakin speaks against your lips, but you're unbothered, an amused grin gracing your features instead. His hand pats your behind lovingly, "What'd you bring me? Smells good."
"Some leftover roast from last night. Peas, carrots, sliced apples."
"Anything sweet?"
"Chocolate covered pretzels."
"I don't want the peas." You follow him under the shade of the shop with a frown on your face.
"But I made them special!"
There's a tarp that he lifts for you, and you duck under his arm. An inside look at the inner workings of the auto-body profession, and your eyes wander. When a peer approaches him, you notice how Anakin tugs the toothpick from his mouth, using it to point at him as he addresses him. You don't register the words until you realize he's speaking another language. Is that Spanish?
It's rapid, a back-and-forth exchange as you watch him argue like he's spoken it his entire life. Too quick to register anything he might've said, just that they both looked tired and upset. It's kind of... attractive. Not only is he a renaissance man, but he looks hot doing it. So effortless, so sweaty. When he returns to you, his hand guides you at the small of your back to lead you to the back breakroom. Thankfully, it's air conditioned.
"I didn't know you could speak Spanish." you tell him in admiration, and bite down on your lower lip. He has to pull you out of the way of a door beam because you're not paying attention to your path, hooded eyes glued to him as your mind wanders. What else could you get him to say? Does he know anything dirty? "It was kinda... hot."
He regards you with a look, drawing you to his side to speak under his breath. "Cállate, mami."
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Hi so I wanted to request something I just thought of if that’s okay! A little meet cute story from season 4 where reader is the midwife who helped deliver Henry and her and Reid meet in the hospital and just hit it off🥺
this is so cute! this strays a lot from the plot of the episode because i haven't watched it forever and don't feel like it lmao
The Lanky Guy in Room 603
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She wasn't sure if the long, lanky man curled up in the uncomfortable chair was Jennifer's brother or husband. He looked young; with a blemish-free baby face and a mop of soft brown hair. She could tell it had a slight curl to it and she had to resist an urge to tuck the stray pieces that fanned out behind his ear. Perhaps it was because she spent her days and nights caring for expecting parents, she just couldn't help but want to care for the sleeping man.
Jennifer was watching television, a pained look on her face as she held her round belly.
"You said it would be today," Jennifer groaned, the pain of labor evident on her face, "It's almost tomorrow."
Y/N sat on the stool beside Jennifer's bed, "I know I did, honey." She pressed a damp cloth to Jennifer sweaty face, attempting to cool down her body temperature. "But it seems like this little baby's got a mind of their own."
"Just like her mother."
The voice came from behind her. The sleep man, now not sleeping, unfolded himself from his pretzel-like position on the chair. He joints popped as he stretched his legs. Y/N noticed his socks were patterned. His left foot donned socks with gray tabby cats and a navy blue background. His right foot donned pumpkins on a lavender background.
Jennifer smiled, thanking Y/N for the damp cloth, as her companion checked her vitals. He peered at the numbers, probably attempting to decipher their meanings regarding his wife's health.
"Your wife is perfectly healthy, sir. You''ll have a healthy, sweet, baby within the next day. I'm sure of it."
Jennifer chuckled, "He's not my husband. Spencer's my....."
"Co-worker. Very proud godfather of her soon to be born baby girl?" Spencer injected, still reading the vitals.
"I'm concerned about JJ's vitals. Are you sure that her lab work is updated? It needs to reflect the high stress nature of her job. And her blood pressure? It was last checked thirteen minutes and twenty seven seconds ago. And does the satellite birth center have enough blood in the bank. On average a laboring mother may loose about...."
"Spence," Jennifer, or JJ as the man named Spencer called her, "I'm going to be just fine. The baby is going to be just fine. Please don't harass the midwife. Or I'll have to switch you out for Penny instead."
"You know if you wanted to get stuff done, you should've picked Hotch or Emily," Spencer countered, "I'm just going to be a nervous wreck."
"You're going to be fine. And think of it as practice for when your wife is pregnant. You'll be a pro by the time that rolls around."
Spencer chuckled dryly. His cheeks blushed crimson as he checked the clock. "It's now been fourteen minutes and thirty four seconds." He whispered under his breath.
"Are you and your wife expecting as well? It kinda smart for her to send you here for a dry run?" Y/N commented, making light talk with Jennifer and Spencer. Through her couple of years a midwife, she learned that many laboring parents and their companions need to have their minds occupied.
"N-no, no wife," Spencer said, his lips formed a tight smile as he looked at Y/N and then back to Jennifer, "We have a very time consuming job. Dating is hard. And family life is even harder. It’s common for many families in the BAU to end with divorce between the two partners.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Spence,” Jennifer quipped as a wave of labor pains came over her.
“I don’t mean you and Will,” Spencer backtracked, “You’re not even married to him.”
Jennifer rolled her eyes at Spencer, and Y/N got the sense that the Spencer and Jennifer shared a sibling-like relationship. It made sense, she supposed as she watched Spencer continuously checked Jennifer’s vitals. He hovered like a mother hen, but made no attempt at physical contact like the husbands usually did.
“Distract her,” Y/N whispered to Spencer, “And don’t talk about how her marriage is statistically likely to end in divorce. That’s not the way to comfort a mom that’s about to push a 8 pound baby out of her vagina.”
Spencer shut his mouth quickly, returning to Jennifer’s side. As Y/N walked out of the room, she noted that the soon to be godfather asked her if she needed anything.
***
“Y/N!” Nurse Lorraine said from her perch. “That tall kid from Room 603, the one that looks like he’s about to faint? He’s looking for you.”
Room 603? Y/N checked her chats, shuffling through the pile of laboring parents.
Ah! That would be Jennifer Jareau. And her very eager friend/co-worker/godfather of her child.
“Oh, Spencer? He’s a sweetheart. Trying to help her. He could teach those husbands a thing or too.” Y/N said, as she typed away at her computer.
“He’s not the husband?” Lorraine questioned, her tone making Y/N stop typing.
“What are you doing, Lo?” Y/N sighed with exasperation. “You’re meddling. And it’s not a cute look, I’m afraid.”
“It’s been how long since that idiot of a man dumped you for his unpaid intern? Todd? Taylor? What was his name again?”
“Tyler. He was an ass. I don’t think I’m ready to get myself back out there. He really did a number on me.” Y/N lamented. She took a sip of her third coffee of the day. It was a distraction from tearing up or worse, actually crying in front of Lorraine, the hardass nurse who makes Attendings cry.
“Y/N, honey,” Lorraine sighed, “Don’t waste your youth or your beauty on someone who doesn’t deserve it. I’m not saying that man in 603 deserves you, but he’s holding his coworker’s hand as she’s delivering a baby that’s not his. All because her boyfriend is stuck at work in New Orleans. He’s a good man. And he’s looking for you. And he blushed when he asked for you.”
Y/N rolled her eyes at Lorraine’s gossipy tendencies. “How do you know all that? I’ve been with him all day and I hardly can get him to tell me his name. Beside the snide comments about me not checking the vitals enough.”
“See! He’s protective over people he cares about, even if talking to the gorgeous nurse terrifies him. I can lock you two in the supply close if you’d like. I mean the piles and piles of extra large padsicles and bed pens aren’t very romantic, but maybe romance isn’t what you need right now.” Lorraine quipped.
Ignoring Lorraine, “I’m going to see what he wants from me.” Y/N said, recoiling because she knew Lorraine would twist her words into some sort of sexual innuendo.
“Go get’em, Tiger!” Lorraine called from the Nurse’s Station with a mischievous glint in her eye.
***
“Spencer?” Y/N whispered, noting that Jennifer was sleeping in her bed, “Nurse Lorraine said you wanted to speak to me.”
Even in the dark room, minus the glow of equipment monitoring Jennifer, Y/N could see his light blush. He was cute. She thought that before Lorraine even broached the subject. She though that when she silently wondered if he was Jennifer’s husband or not.
He was cute. Handsome, even.
Spencer couldn’t be more than 26 or 27. He had brown eyes that were kind and warm. Spencer looked gentle, and that was evident by the easy way he cared for Jennifer.
“I wanted to make sure I was doing it right,” Spencer confessed, “I’m not really good with all this,” he waved his hand around the room to show what he meant, “My mind can only focus on the possibilities of what can go wrong. I’m not cut out for this.”
“For what being a companion? A godfather? Spencer, Jennifer clearly cares for you and wants you in her baby’s life. She sees that you’re kind and caring and gentle.”
Spencer cracked a smile, warming Y/N heart. She hated it. Yet she liked it. And that only made her hate it more.
“Thanks.” Spencer said, taking a sip of his probably now cold coffee.
“You know there’s an excellent microwave in the nurse’s lounge room. Lorraine bullies enough attendings that I can totally sneak you in there to warm up your coffee.” Y/N offered, “Jennifer needs sleep. It’s the best thing for her right now. Besides, I can teach you how to swaddle a baby and change a diaper.”
“I know how to deliver a baby,” Spencer said, “It’s a lot messier than I thought.” He said with a shiver.
“Are you in healthcare?” Y/N asked they walked to the nurse’s lounge. It was so late that most of the families were either sleeping, in labor, or being discharged. “You certainly know a lot about medicine. And for the record we do have plenty of blood in stock. But we’re looking for donors every third Tuesday if the month.”
“Not technically. Well, not the doctor you’re thinking of at least. I have three PhDs. In mathematics, chemistry, and psychology. It’s….a lot I know,” He offered a small smile, “People either think I’m like some super genius or a freak. But not. I’m just….me.”
“Well I happen to think that you’re pretty awesome just being you. I can’t technically say it, but you and Jennifer are my favorites of the night. So it’s only my duty as a L&D nurse to make sure you are the best baby swaddling godfather in the metro area.”
“Now that’s quite the title to live up to. Do we use real babies or dolls to practice?” Spencer inquired.
Y/N giggled as she reached into the supply closet, “I’m in the business of delivering babies. Not kidnapping them, Dr. Spencer……?”
“Reid.”
“Reid.” She nodded, handing him a baby doll to practice with. “If it was twelve hours earlier I would be making you wrap my burrito to practice.”
“I think I’m going to equally as bad as wrapping a burrito as I would be a baby.” He confessed.
“Fear not, young grasshopper, your teacher is here.” Y/N teased, grabbing Spencer by the arm to the table where she ate lunch every day with Lorraine and Hector, her favorite to nurses on the floor.
She laid out a blanket and a baby on the table as her and Spencer stood side by side. “So fold the corner of the blanket down for the baby’s head to rest. And the you gently lay the baby down. Now wrap over the left triangle to the baby’s middle.” She watched as he followed expertly, “Good! Now fold up the little triangle at the baby’s feet. Make sure it’s snug, but not too tight.”
“It’s easier than it looks,” Spencer said as he folded the last part of the blanket and held up a swaddled baby doll.
“Now try when it when a baby is screaming at you and you’ve been on your feet for ten hours.”
“I’ll sit to my day job,” Spencer joked, “But call me if you ever need a swaddling partner.”
Y/N’s face heated at the thought of calling Spencer, of talking to him beyond this night when he friend was about to give birth.
“Where did you learn how to deliver a baby?” She asked, hoping to divert the conversation.
“I read about it.” Spencer replied.
“In college? Did you take a human biology class on pregnancy as well?”
“Uh, no,” Spencer said, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly, “I read about it. I read it today when JJ was getting admitted.”
“Getting admitted takes like 30 minutes? How on Earth did you read about human delivery in 30 minutes?” Y/N asked with awe on her face.
“Actually, it took 31 minutes and twelve seconds. Which is 2 minutes and 39 seconds faster than the average,” He blushed when Y/N raised eyes meant his comment only added to her questions, not answered them, “I have a very good memory. And I can read fast.” He explained.
“Oh,” Y/N said, taking out two mugs from the cabinet, “that explains the three PhDs and how you hounded me about vitals before. You’re brilliant. And a very good friend.”
“I don’t get brilliant often. Genius, yes. Freak, yes. Strange, yes. But brilliant isn’t usually reserved for me. I think my quirks out weigh my strengths and thus that changes how I’m perceived.”
“Well, I don’t see a freak or a stranger,” Y/N told him, “I see a man who’s probably 6’3” that crammed himself into a tiny plastic chair and has been fetching ice chips and throwing down with the toughest nurse to get his friend a blanket. That’s not a freak. Or a weirdo. Or anything besides a good, gentle, kind man. I don’t really know you, but it’s my job to watch people here. I watch all these husbands who don’t dote on their wives as they push a whole baby out of their bodies. They complain to them about how long it took to find parking, or that they had to pay 10 bucks for a decent cup of coffee at the cafe, or that the chairs hurt their back. I haven’t heard you say that once. You’re good, Spencer. There’s a reason Jennifer wants you to be her baby’s godfather.”
Stunned, Spencer’s lip twitched into what resembled a smile. He bit his lip as his eyes scanned the room.
“Thank you,” Spencer whispered, “it means more than you know.”
“Good. You seem like the kind of person that deserves to hear good things. And plus, I’m sure your wife or girlfriend will be very happy you spent the night learning how to swaddle babies and change diapers.”
“Uh, I’m not committed to anyone.” Spencer corrected, the blush returned to his face, this time it crawled all the way up to his ears. It only increased his cuteness as it increased the way Y/N’s heart pumped blood. Her nervous system was on overdrive and she hasn’t even touched the man. Yet there was something about him that drew him to her.
“Oh, seeing someone casually and don’t want to freak her out?” Y/N offered. “Because I will admit that’s not what you want to say to the girl you have a situationship with.”
“A situationship?” Spencer questioned, shaking his head. “Never mind. I’m not seeing anyone casually or otherwise. It’s never been my strong suit.”
“Seriously?” Y/N said, pouring her coffee and Spencer a cup, “That’s very surprising.”
“Why?” Spencer asked, accepting the coffee with a tight lipped smile.
“Not to cross any professional boundaries, but you’re literally what most girls look for when they want a partner. Especially one that they want to you know,” she gestured to the baby doll on the table, “settle down with. You’re husband material.”
“Husband material?” Spencer asked, clearly beyond confusion. It was like it was his first time hearing that he was desirable to women. An overwhelming urge to tell him just how desirable he was to her overcame Y/N.
She fought it hard.
“You know,” she started, “you’ve got a great job, nice and normal friends, you’re close friends with a woman, but there’s zero sexual tension between the two of you. That means a lot to girls. It means that you can see women as whole people.”
“What else would I see them as?” Spencer questioned aloud. “They’re people. Not props or conquests.”
Y/N threw her hands up in surrender as if she finally has given up. “See, you’re like perfect. Not to mention you’re very nice to look at.”
Spencer gulped a big sip of coffee, but the burning liquid spewed out all over him and the table. Y/N dodged it, spending nearly three years getting out of the way of mysterious liquids from all different patients had certainly paid off.
“Sorry, sorry, god that was embarrassing,” Spencer lamented. “I hope I didn’t get it all over you.” He apologized.
Holding in a giggle, Y/N waved off his fears. “Don’t worry. You’re just fine, Spencer.”
In more ways than one, she thought silently to herself.
“I apologize if I made you uncomfortable. It’s highly unprofessional of me to comment on your appearance.”
No matter how attractive she finds him.
Spencer’s face melted as she apologized. “No!” He practically yelled. “Don’t think that. Please don’t think that. I didn’t mind it at all. It’s just, I’m not used to hearing it. Especially from women that are like you.”
“Like me?”
“Smart. Hardworking. Kind. Funny. Beautiful.” Spencer confessed.
The last one hit a certain part of her heart that went pang. Tyler never called her beautiful. He would call her hot and sexy, but not beautiful. But maybe once he did. But he said she “looked beautiful” not that she was beautiful.
There was a difference between looking beautiful and being beautiful. And she was looking right at it.
“Spencer,” Y/N whispered. “Once Jennifer is discharged from L&D could I maybe take you out on a date?“
Spencer nodded, and she swore she could see his eyes light up at the possibility of something between them.
“Sure. Isn’t there a blood donation clinic next week?” He smiled and took a sip of his coffee, “I promise I won’t spew coffee all over you when you compliment me again,”
***
Tagging people who are active But please reblog and comment if you stumble across this. It’s a great way we can show our love :)
@reidsbookclub @boldlyvoid @foxy-eva @candlesandsoftrain @radiant-reid
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psalacanthea · 1 month
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I'm doing that thing again where a random scenario is showing up in my modern AU fic and I have to think of everyone's preferences so: BG3 companions, ice cream edition.
Wyll: The only man alive who gets an ice cream cone and somehow never drips. He loves a good quality vanilla, but likes it with additions, like a handmade fudge ripple or butter pecan. Will eat an ice cream cone with a spoon, confusing everyone.
Karlach: She wants to go to the place where they mix in shit in front of you. Gummy bears and pretzels. Red hots candy and caramel corn. She's inventing flavor combos you've never heard of. Also likes the blue bubblegum ice cream.
Gale: Ooh! Well, since you're asking, he knows a wonderful place a scant thirty minute drive away that makes their own handmade ice cream. He's been known to indulge in a pint or two...perhaps with a nice glass of wine! Toppings? Well, that would ruin the experience.
Shadowheart: She goes to the same place as Gale, but she hoards her pints in her freezer and you're not allowed to touch them. They have a dark chocolate raspberry she's obsessed with. It's hers, though. You can have a bite. Just one. Fine, you can have another bite.
Lae'zel: She goes to the fast food drive through, orders a chocolate sundae, and leaves. If their ice cream machine is broken again, they will pay the price. Will climb through a drive-through window to fight your manager.
Astarion: Goes to the trendy, insanely expensive restaurant, orders the thousand dollar gold leaf covered, smoked white truffle and whisky ice cream dessert, takes a picture of it for his instagram, and leaves without paying by climbing out the bathroom window.
Minthara: She will take two scoops of chocolate ice cream. Nothing more, nothing less. If you fail to deliver exactly what was ordered, she will have your business destroyed on Yelp. Her prowess on Yelp is legendary. Sometimes Astarion helps her make video reviews of restaurants. She has millions of views, adoring fans, and has no idea.
Halsin: He'd prefer something else for dessert, but he's already here, so...maybe a scoop of pistachio on a cone? Will get distracted and end up with it dripping all over his arm. Whoops! Now everyone's staring at him while he licks his own hand.
Jaheira: She prefers a pastry, but fine. She'll let you know once she's tried every sample at least once. Hmm. Not bad. And...you know what? Never mind. She's full now. Thanks for the samples.
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as-is-above-so-below · 9 months
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Cardigan - John Price x F!Teacher!Reader
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Part 1: It Starts In A Bar
summary: your friends take you out to a local pub when you would much rather be grading assignments. a/n: hello! big surprise, me writing for john price! I don't know how long this will be, but I definitely have a general idea of where I want this to go. I hope y'all like it!
thank you @lethalchiralium for dragging me into the clubhouse kicking and screaming LMAO << Previous | Next >>
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Why did they pick this place again?
Ah, right. “It’s a hometown pub, a staple to the community,” they said. That was clear from the couple dozen men and women, ranging from middle-aged to elderly, scattered about, and a few younger folks peppered into the crowd. It wasn’t run down by any means, just…a dive. You mindlessly picked at the peanuts and pretzels in little bowls, elbows perched on the edge of the sticky table, for hours. You chatted and occasionally laughed at the stories they shared about their homeroom students and the shenanigans the other grades got up to. You’d been teaching year thirteen for a while, students taking their A-levels in history. 
It was supposed to be a quiet evening, spent with a stack of papers to grade, surrounded by glowing candles scattered around your apartment accompanied by soft white string lights stretched across the ceiling. Instead, your friends somehow managed to drag you out of your cozy home to a dark dive in town. You loved them dearly (really, you did), but you had a routine. Your ideal Friday night wasn’t in a damp bar.
Your kids could be challenging at times in their late teens. They occasionally cause trouble, known for getting into fights, interrupting class, or bringing drama into the classroom. Nevertheless, you’d never had a set of students that was more than you could handle. They turned their work in on time and were always nosy about your personal life, which – much to their chagrin – was uneventful. Your love life was stale, to put it nicely. And your friends tried everything in their power to set you up on dates, every single one striking out miserably. It didn’t feel natural to meet some guy at a restaurant for a blind date.
One of them talked about themselves the entire time, barely letting you get a word in. The next ordered about three more drinks than you and a meal that cost twice as much as yours but demanded you split the cost of the date. You were all for splitting the bill but on the first date? Not a good impression.
The rest were uninteresting and immemorable.
“Seriously? You haven’t been on a date since – Oh, what was his name again?”
“Zachary,” you pointed out, taking a long sip of your drink. “You should know; you set up the date.”
“I know, I know. I didn’t realize he was such a bore one-on-one.”
“Thanks for that, by the way. Loved talking to myself for two hours.”
You all laughed at the memory, starting to finish drinks and gather belongings. “Let’s get to the next spot to find you a man!”
Bar hopping was the absolute last thing you wanted to do, but you knew better than to resist. It would all be over much faster if you just went along. Your companions were much quicker on their exit, considering the nearly-full drink that you felt like you just bought, and they were already moving on to the next dig. You threw the rest of your drink back, flinching as the big gulp of alcohol burned down your throat, and hurried to catch up with them. You took one of their outstretched hands, giggling as they just about pulled you into the circle exiting the pub–
“Excuse me, miss!” a deep voice called out. You’re not sure why, but you turned, feeling like the man was calling out to you. Your assumption turned out to be correct, and a tall, dark-haired man with a beard and a soft smile approached you. “Sorry, you left this.”
He held your cardigan to you. You must have abandoned it in your haste.
“Oh! Thank you so much. That’s kind of you,” you said, taking the garment back and draping it over your forearm. “I’d forget my head if it weren’t attached,” you added, tapping your temple with a soft chuckle.
“Quite alright.” Behind you, an elbow nudged your spine; you barely caught yourself from making a face and snapping at whichever acquaintance decided to egg you on. “I’d offer to buy you a drink, but it seems you’re heading out.”
He certainly was handsome. His beard was well-groomed, just like his hair. It looked like he went to a barber fairly recently. He even dressed well, in a cream, ribbed polo tucked loosely into his jeans. Dark chest hair peeked out where the top two buttons were undone. It was an enticing offer…
“Um, yeah, but….” You looked over your shoulder and met expectant glances. Some looked like they were about to bust apart at the seams with glee, which made you roll your eyes. Clearly, you wouldn’t be missed. “I could hang for a little while longer.”
The man's smile grew, and his stance shifted to open a path toward the bar. “Are you sure? Y’don’t have to,” he amended, his hands in his pockets. His energy was warm and soft but still masculine. He held a confidence that not many people carried, at least not the men you’d been on dates with recently. And the Liverpool accent? Maybe things were starting to look up.
“No, no, I honestly need another drink.” You flashed your teeth back to him, folding your arms over your chest with your sweater in hand.
“In that case, after you.”
Before taking his arm, you realized you’d yet to even ask for his name. “Thank you…?”
“John.” John’s right hand hovered before you and he flashed his bright teeth. His hands were clean, nails neatly trimmed. Although, one nail bed was bruised.
Man, he’s pretty for a grown man.
“Y/N,” you replied with an easy grin. He kept a steady hold on your gaze, carefully examining the bright twinkle they held. You didn’t know it, but John had just returned from a long mission. One that had left him yearning for a shower, a haircut, and somebody to come home to. He’d never had anything to look forward to and stay alive for; no affection or comfort after a rough assignment, no one to care for and spoil.
And he wanted that.
“A surname to that, John?” you asked, sliding your hand through the loop he created with his elbow. Holy shit, he was strong. Your hand rested on the soft but well-built muscle of his bicep. You figured he must have a labor-intensive job, or he goes to the gym frequently. John didn’t seem like the type to spend hours at the gym in his spare time, so you went with the first option. You’d keep that in mind when making small talk later.
“John Price.”
“Very regal name.”
John scoffed but laughed nonetheless. “That’s the first time I’ve heard that.”
John couldn’t take his eyes off of you. You were unbelievably bubbly, especially for interacting with a stranger who only gave back your forgotten cardigan. He’d been watching you from his spot at the bar, laughing with your friends but zoning out every once in a while. He was no stranger to giving himself a mental break, particularly in a hectic environment like a packed bar on a cool, Friday evening.
“I’ll call you when I need a ride!”
You and John watched the giggly group exit the pub, happily waving as they piled into a cab. You waved back with your free hand, your other palm still pressed against his warm skin. They didn’t embarrass you too badly, thank god. You met John’s eyes, a dark color twinkling with mischief.
“Your friends seem chipper.”
“I’m so sorry. They’re just happy to see me talking to a man.” 
“Oh? Is that right?” he chuckled, nodding to your previously held table. John broke away briefly to retrieve his unfinished drink and denim jacket from the bar.
You followed his lead back to the booth, attempting to keep control of the flush you felt beginning to heat your cheeks. “They’ve set me up on many an unfortunate date. Not saying I don’t get along fine on my own, but–”
“It’s rough out there?” he finished, sliding into the cushioned seat across from you. When you nodded in return, John smirked. “Believe me. I get it. My career makes it difficult to find time for much of anything.”
“Yeah, well, I have sixteen kids.”
The man sputtered, choking on what looked to be an old-fashioned. Possibly a bad joke, but it was such a great opportunity; you were feeling frisky, and you couldn’t help the giggles that erupted following his reaction. “I teach history for year thirteen.”
“Oh, thank Christ.” John wiped the cocktail off his lip with the back of his hand, shaking his head at your laughter. “You had me going there. Five minutes into our date, and I’ve made a mess of myself.”
You quirked a brow. “So this is a date?”
“Isn’t it?”
“Well, I would consider it light conversation. Getting to know each other.”
“That’s a date.”
“Mmm, I’d say it’s more casual than that.”
“I’m not looking for casual, love.”
You paused, examining his calm demeanor. He didn’t seem cocky, but honest, a welcome change to the pattern you’d observed over the last few months. None of your dates had been so bold as to know what they want and make their intentions clear. Especially not so quickly. It was refreshing.
“Me neither.”
“Good.”
You both sat in peace, pausing your conversation for the waitress. You ordered another drink, as promised, and folded your hands on the tabletop, fingers laced. “So, what do you do, John?” you asked, tapping your thumbs together.
“I’m in the military.”
You paused, expectantly waiting for him to continue, only to be met with silence.
“Care to elaborate?”
He tutted once with his tongue pressed against the back of his teeth. “I would love to, but I can’t.”
Interesting. Normally, resistance like that would be a red flag. On the other hand, his job could be “classified” or whatever is said in the movies. No alarms went off in your mind; your intuition told you that John was trustworthy, so you let it go. The pretty brunette dropped your new drink off and another for John.
“I can tell you that I’m a Captain.”
“So you have pretend kids too?”
His eyes crinkled at the corners as he hummed, swirling the whiskey in his glass. A slight tinge of the citrus notes from the expressed orange peel wafted across the table. John’s laugh was distinctive, chesty and rumbly, inviting. “Of course. Mine are bigger, though, I’m sure.”
“Oh? They’re not scrawny little soldiers?”
“No. One’s almost two meters tall.”
“Jesus. How many?”
“Five. Gaz, Ghost, Soap, Alex, and Farah.”
“Well, I for one can’t wait to meet them.”
“Likewise.”
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You fussed with your hair for about the thousandth time in your bathroom mirror and huffed when it wouldn’t settle right. John was to meet you in about fifteen minutes. Knowing him, that meant he would be buzzing up to your apartment any second. You’d been on a few dates and knew his date habits pretty well. If you’re not fifteen minutes early, you’re late. You had been out to dinner, grabbed coffee once or twice; you even grabbed an ice cream. So, it was a surprise when John suggested a trip to the museum. It didn’t seem like his thing, but you weren’t about to turn down a trip to the history exhibit.
As you expected, a familiar BZZT BZZT reverberated through your flat, signaling his arrival. The first time he picked you up, you let him into the building without using the intercom. You tried explaining that the speaker broke and your landlord had yet to fix it (shocker), but John wouldn’t hear it. You could have been letting in a random creep pressing buttons until some tenant unlocked the door. He insisted on creating a little system, so you would know it was him downstairs and not a kidnapper. From then on, he always rang the bell twice.
You gave up on your hair, switched the light off, and paged him in. Your unit was on the first floor (which wasn’t ideal), so it only took John a few seconds to reach your door. When you heard a knock at your door, you peered through the peephole (as promised) before unlocking the deadbolt, revealing a very well-dressed captain. John’s hair was a bit shaggy, but it suited him well. Your heart fluttered helplessly at the bright smile that appeared when he laid eyes on you, his gaze obviously taking in the sight before him.
It was a weeknight, and you didn’t have time to change between school and your usual errands. You threw a plaid skirt, thigh-high socks, and loose sweater together; just a sliver of skin showed between the top of your socks and hem of your skirt. You felt underdressed compared to John, but there wasn’t much you could do about it. 
“Hi,” he said, leaning to kiss your cheek. “You look lovely.”
“Same to you. You always clean up well.”
“If you saw the state I’m usually in at work – you’d understand why.”
John kept a watchful eye to make sure you turned both locks for your door before guiding you outside to a waiting taxi with a hand on the small of your back. He held the door to your building and the car open for you. The drive was short, but the weather was starting to catch a bit of a chill, and you didn’t want to walk too far.
Ever the gentleman, the captain followed closely behind you up the steps to the gallery. Even if he weren’t perceptive, with years of experience reading people, he could tell you were excited to be there; however, he wasn’t so experienced in the ‘romance’ department. John honestly couldn’t even remember the last time he visited any museum, let alone a dedicated history exhibition. But when he suggested it and assured you that he would have a good time, he was only being partially truthful. Secretly, the man just wanted an excuse to listen to you talk. What better place to bring you than an exhibit where he knew you would talk his ear off for hours?
You slowly worked your way through each exhibit, explaining some pieces you recognized and their significance to the period; at displays you weren’t familiar with, you both quietly hovered closer to the title cards, reading through the description. While that kind of date wasn’t John’s usual cup of tea, he was glad he planned it; it helped him figure out how to slow the fuck down and try to be normal outside of a military setting or a pub.
His breath nearly stuttered every time you laid a gentle hand on his arm and drew his attention to the next section, beaming as you animately but quietly pointed out the tiny details in a Renaissance painting hung on the wall. The man couldn’t help but stare at how your lips curved at every syllable, wide eyes glued on the intricate scene portrayed. John hadn’t spoken much so far aside from the occasional affirmation that he was listening; he was very much in his head, unsure if you were excited to be there with him or just excited to be there. But, standing in front of the big painting, you went quiet. You met his gaze, and his lips pulled into a lopsided grin, which you returned before you both shifted back to the artwork. It was peaceful, absorbing the atmosphere and just existing together. Suddenly, John was jolted out of his reverie by the feeling of something brushing the side of his palm. 
You were itching to hold his hand all night but were too nervous to take that leap. What if he rejected you? That wasn’t likely after so many dates, but still. Your nerves got the better of you for the better half of the self-guided tour. Regardless, you had managed to work up the courage, cautiously grazing your pinky against his wrist and hand before wrapping it around his. You didn’t look away from the illustration, but he did, moving to you, then down to your hands.
He simply stared for a moment, surprised but positively giddy at the same time. Surely enough, John took your hand in his, interlocking your fingers and leaning just a bit closer to you. He could stand there forever, basking in your warmth and energy, the sound of your voice sinking into his every thought–
“Oh no,” you said, breaking the silence. You looked up at him worried, wrinkles forming between your brows. “I-I’m sorry. I was teaching again.”
He immediately gave you a reassuring squeeze, thumb brushing over your knuckles. “Don’t be. I like hearing you talk.” Jesus, did he have a way with words. He liked hearing you talk? With that accent, he could spew nonsense, and it would still draw you in. But hearing John Price give you compliments and praise? Flattery? You were a goner. “Tell me more about the next one?”
As if he could get any more fucking perfect.
“Okay.”
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m00nsbaby · 10 months
Text
The invisible barrier.
(Jake Lockley x F!Reader)
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Tags - Warnings: Jake doesn’t know about Marc or Steven. Angst, smut, fluff, everything. Most of Jake’s dialogues are in Spanish, most of reader’s are in English except in November - December. Word count: 4,9 k. (Lol, sorry) Summary: A whole year trying to understand Jake Lockley. (Literally)
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January.
"¡Hola!" (Hello.) The sudden voice next to you made you jump as you made the most important and complicated decision of the week.
Would you choose pretzels with dark or white chocolate?
Reluctantly, you turned to your side to see a man standing just a few inches away from you. On another occasion, you would have probably jumped back or fled to another aisle in the supermarket, but the apologetic smile on his lips and the puppy-like look in his eyes told you that he didn't want to be in this situation either.
"Perdón, ¿Podrías decirme qué dice aquí?” (Sorry. Could you tell me what it says here?) The words came out quickly from his mouth and you furrowed your brow in confusion. Your fleeting and ridiculous Spanish classes had never been of much use, even less now that you had the opportunity to help an attractive man.
"I don't... Huh." You cleared your throat, searching for a way to say, 'Maybe I can't help you, but I'll move heaven and earth to try.' Dramatic? Yes, of course, but what more could be expected from a hopeless romantic? Many love stories began like this in your mind; this was a scenario you had imagined at least twice before falling asleep. "No hablo español." (I don’t speak Spanish.)
The man blinked a couple of times, as if realizing that he had gathered courage for about 15 minutes only to lose his dignity like this.
"Oh." He cleared his throat, nodding afterward. "Thanks," he said shyly, as if trying to hide his accent.
"No, no, let me help you. What do you need?" You turned the bag of Cheetos he was holding in his hands so you could see the list of ingredients on the back as he was asking. Both of you were guessing what you were saying. Your gaze scanned the list, nodding your head when you detected the problem. Everything was written in English.
Sure, your aisle companion had an extra problem on top of that. The letters were too small for his poor eyesight, and he would rather ask for help from strangers than give up on the idea of using glasses.
"Give me a second." Your fingers quickly handled your phone as you took the bag from his hands.
You took a photo and the app took care of the work for you, translating every word on the red packaging you held. You didn't hesitate to take a step forward and extend your hand far enough for your phone to be at the stranger's ear level, who didn't question your methods for a moment.
He just stood still, listening.
"¿Colorante rojo número 6?” (Red dye number 6?) He questioned when the voice function finished. And you quickly scanned the phone screen, trying to find the part on the list that seemed closest to what he had just said.
Well, seis = 6, that one was easy.
"Yes, 6." You saw him smile and take the bag back from your hands to shake it in a celebratory manner. "Why?"
"Huh?"
"Why 6?" He guessed based on how you tilted your head to one side what you were asking.
"Soy alérgico al número 4, o al menos eso creo.” (I'm allergic to the number 4. Or at least, I think I am.) He pointed to his throat. "Siento comezón en la garganta cuando como cosas que lo tienen.” (My throat itches when I eat things that have it.")
Did you understand anything he said? No, nothing beyond the number 4. So, you smiled and nodded, eliciting a warm laugh from him.
He was cute.
"Gracias." (Thank you.) It seemed like he understood the basics, just like you. It was better to use his words than to deal with the pronunciation of the "t" and "h" together.
"It's okay." You shrugged while continuing to smile in a friendly manner. It wasn't because the stranger was incredibly attractive; you always behaved this way with people, or at least you tried to. "Enjoy your Cheetos."
Another giggle. "Cheetos," he repeated, imitating the way you pronounced the brand's name.
You rolled your eyes playfully and went back to the pretzels without saying anything else.
Well, there went the potential love of your life. Both of you were too shy to engage in casual conversation. You were aware that pretending to have the confidence to do so would be a lie.
Silently, you paid for your pretzels covered in white chocolate, looking around in case the guy was still nearby. After a few seconds, you gave up. Well, it was nothing out of the ordinary, even with one more chance, you wouldn't have approached him. More than 20 dollars for a bag of chocolate covered pretzels? That must be a crime, the first time you bought one . . .
"Hola de nuevo.” (Hi again.) The leather of his jacket brushed against your skin as you bumped into him. He was in the exact same position as you, one hand holding his Cheetos, the other clutching the receipt he was trying to read with squinted eyes.
You almost had a heart attack.
"Hi." You smiled, your cheeks betraying you as they turned rosy just from being around him like this. You had to take a step back after the clumsy little push you gave him.
"¿Tienes cómo regresar a tu casa?” (Do you have a way to get home?) You frowned at the question. This only confirmed that your crazy fantasy wasn't going to work out; there was a huge barrier between you.
He could see the confusion on your face so he pointed outside. It was raining heavily.
"Oh." You had been so engrossed in your pursuit of him that you hadn't thought about that. It wasn't a terrible problem, though; you could just wait until it calmed down.
You could spend another $20 on an umbrella in the worst case. Or call a car to take you the 10-minute walk to your house.
"I'll just wait." You had to remind yourself not to get too deep into your words.
"Yo te llevo.” (I'll give you a ride.) He quickly said. "A ride." The way the 'r' rolled off his mouth was enough to make you dizzy.
"Are you sure?" This couldn't be happening. This genuinely couldn't be happening.
"Of course, I'm sure," he repeated, smiling. This couldn't be happening.
It couldn't.
That night, you ran together to his car in the rain, laughing. He opened the door for you, even though it meant a few extra minutes of water poured on him.
You gave him directions through your phone, and you learned how to say "cuadras" (blocks) to guide someone next time, and he kept telling you something you didn't understand, but he noticed you were just nodding for him to keep talking.
He said goodbye with a kiss on your cheek. He used a word similar to "custom" to justify it, ‘costumbre’ maybe.
Oh, and you exchanged numbers. It turned out the stranger, Jake Lockley, worked as a taxi driver most nights. You understood that because the words "taxi" and "noche" were in your mental dictionary.
February.
Your first date was a disaster.
You never considered that to spend the day together, you had to exchange more than 5 words, and Jake stained your beautiful pink sundress with an ice cream that didn't even taste that good.
Oh, at some point, you tripped too. You were so focused on trying to understand one of the anecdotes he was telling you that you ended up on the ground with a scraped knee.
That wasn't so bad, though. I mean, you had Jake on one knee, checking yours. He even had you step on his thigh so he could clean you up with his ice cream-covered napkin.
When the day came to an end, he took you home. You noticed he had memorized your address, making it easier for both of you. You hummed a song together to cover the silence of two people who had to resort to other means of communication than talking.
"I had fun." Lie, this hadn't been anything like you imagined a first date, not after reading books or watching movies.
He nodded silently as he got out of the car to open the door for you.
And even though the date was a complete disaster, Jake kissed you.
He kissed you against the closed door of your apartment, holding you by the waist as if you intended to escape from his arms, begging you silently not to separate from him.
"¿Repetimos la próxima semana?” (Second date next week?)
March.
Text messages flowed throughout the weeks. Depending on the day, one or the other used the translator to send messages that the other could understand.
Sometimes they were just silly pictures, mostly of cats. You found a silly liking for sending him videos and photos of different animals in romantic situations, hugging each other and such, with only the description 'us.'
Jake responded ‘nosotros’ with different emojis depending on the day. He liked the white heart.
His car became familiar to you, as well as the late-night drives with music. You wondered if Jake had started neglecting his work to spend more time with you, and although it sounded selfish, you didn't care much.
You enjoyed his company.
April.
Your fingers played with his curls while both of you rested comfortably on your bed, you on the pillows, Jake on your abdomen.
He was surprisingly interested in one of the old books you hadn't touched in a long time.
"Jake?" He immediately put the book down to look at you. "Can you help me with a word?"
"¿Ahora?" (Now?) he asked.
"Right now."
"¿Cuál palabra?" (Which word?) He closed his eyes as your fingers continued to enjoy playing with his hair. It was so soft that the gentle caresses you gave were enough to mess it up.
"Boyfriend."
"Novio." You stretched your free hand with difficulty. He opened his eyes again, looking at you with interest as you struggled in the least attractive way to open one of your drawers with one hand. Something cracked in it.
You put the bag of Cheetos on his chest, clearing your throat afterwards.
"¿Quieres ser mi novio?” (Do you want to be my boyfriend?)
May.
"Jake?"
The car hadn't started yet when he turned to look at you, raising his eyebrows as if to ask what was wrong. You stretched enough to touch his knuckles, which were marked with a purple tone and scraped.
Your gaze went to him. It was as if both of you knew how to communicate through looks.
"No sé qué me pasó. Mi teoría es que golpee algo mientras dormía.” (I don't know what happened. My theory is that I hit something while asleep.) He frowned as he extended his fingers to get a better view of them. It looked like he had beaten up someone, and he couldn't deny that it hurt, especially when he gripped the steering wheel of the car.
"Are you still having those strange dreams?"
"Weird dreams," Jake whispered to himself as a way to remember your words. "Sí, sueños raros.” (Yes, weird dreams.)
You pursed your lips without saying more as you brushed his knuckles with your thumb, as gently as you could.
"Let's go." You finally gave in, returning to your seat with an unconvincing gesture.
June.
"I don't understand football." You said as you walked hand in hand, leaning some of your weight against his body.
Technically, neither of you were drunk; you were just flushed from the heat of the alcohol, giggly and a little tipsy. Jake had mentioned how funny it would be to go to one of those bars where they show football games for fans, even though neither of you were fans. Choosing a team randomly to support, drinking things with strange names, and maybe sharing spicy wings sounded like a good plan.
That was your Friday night.
"Tampoco yo.” (Neither do I.) Jake was doing his best not to laugh. He failed miserably.
When you reached his car, you leaned your body against it, and your hands ended up on your boyfriend's shirt. He immediately knew what you wanted, bringing both hands to your waist and leaning forward, closer.
"Is it hot here, or was it the 4 margaritas we drank?" You whispered while trying to contain your smile.
"Debe ser ese vestido.” (It must be that dress.) His lips brushed against yours. The sudden change in his voice made you shiver, so husky. “O por lo menos es lo que me está poniendo caliente a mi.” (At least I know that's what's making me hot.) It was the last thing he said before kissing you as if his life depended on it.
You moaned into his mouth, pressed between his body and the car. The kiss was wet as his mischievous hands slid under your dress, squeezing your ass firmly enough for it to hurt. Not in a bad way. "Jake." You complained as you looked around to make sure no one was walking by to see you.
"Date la vuelta.” (Turn around.) Apparently, your Spanish only worked in moments of convenience because you obeyed immediately. You turned your body with difficulty, mainly because he refused to let go of you. You felt his erection against you as soon as your cheek collided with the cold metal of the car. He was rubbing against your ass while biting your neck to his liking, sucking and licking your skin until he marked it. "Fuck, Jake." You whispered with your eyes closed. You could have cum right there with just his kisses and soft touches. Fortunately, he was more considerate because one of the hands that rested on your waist little by little went between your legs, your dress was already raised enough to only have to worry about your panties, he brushed his fingers over your abdomen before sliding his middle finger between your lips. First he wetted it well before moving up to your clit. His touch made you tremble and hiss. "¿Un par de besos te tienen así, corazón?” (A couple of kisses have you like this, sweetheart?) You could hear the smirk on his lips as his finger traced circles against your most sensitive area. "Imagínate como será cuando esté dentro de ti.” (Imagine how it will be like when I'm inside you.) A shameless moan escaped from you. "Eso quieres, ¿No?” (You want that, don't you?) He kept talking in your ear while he distributed one or two kisses between your neck and your shoulder. “Sentirme duro. Profundo.” (To feel me hard. Deep.) He simulated thrusts between each word, his hip pushing yours harder against the car and against his hand that kept playing with your pussy to make you whimper. You nodded without opening your eyes. "Con palabras." (Use your words.) He said clicking his tongue.
"Yes please." You begged desperately while trying to get air through your mouth. "Buena niña.” (Good girl.) You swallowed the complaint of feeling him take his hand out of your panties, just because you immediately heard how he started to unbutton his jeans. "Escupe.” (Spit.) You could feel his girth between your legs, letting you know that there were no more clothes involved. You took a few seconds to be able to clean the fingers that were inside you before with your tongue, making Jake groan just by imagining what you would do with your mouth in another situation. When you were satisfied you spat into the palm of his hand as requested. He wrapped his hand around his cock, and covered it with your saliva. He used the same hand to accommodate it between your lips. A sigh of relief left your mouth when you finally felt it inside you. A muffled whimper accompanied the way your muscles suddenly relaxed, as if that was what you needed. "Mierda, amor." (Shit, love.) As Jake's forehead rested against your shoulder, he muttered under his breath. "Voy a terminar rápido si sigues apretándome así.” (I'm going to finish fast if you keep squeezing me like this.) His voice made you dizzy, you mentally thanked all those days you spent understanding each other because his words could have been enough to push you to the limit. It didn't take long for both of you to pick up a delicious rhythm. When he pushed his hip forward, you pushed back to make him go deeper. When he was pulling back, you were pulling forward almost taking his member all the way out to prepare for his next thrust. You were so close you had to bite the hand he put to your mouth to keep from screaming. "¿Vas a terminar para mi, mi vida?” (Are you going to finish for me, my life?) He whimpered. Oh god, he fucking whimpered. He had a desperate tone to his voice, almost like he was comforting you. "Déjame sentirlo, por favor, por favor.” (Let me feel it, please, please.) This time it was he who was begging. Your saliva had started running against Jake's hand. You were seeing stars from squeezing your eyes shut, and how close you were wasn't helping at all. The spasms had started around him, and without warning, the inevitable happened. He finished inside of you. His cum being pushed deeper inside you with each thrust he took to finish his orgasm was enough for you to reach yours. "Amor, carajo.” (Love, damn it.) His voice cracked at the sensitivity combining with your walls squeezing him every few seconds. You were milking him. "Te amo.” (I love you.) He whispered as his breath interrupted each of his words. That was the first time he said it.
July.
The only thing that relaxed you was that this 360° turn apparently had nothing to do with you.
Jake was someone else.
His flirty and playful personality was just a memory to you. Under his eyes, there were huge dark circles since his dreams had become crazier and more frequent.
There were unexplained wounds on his body, according to him. Or sometimes there were none, but he felt the pain throughout his body, as if a truck had run over him, he said.
He became silent, as if he felt he was talking too much when he started to let out words about what was happening. He still hugged and kissed you, still spent afternoons with you and continued to respond “nosotros" to your silly animal photos.
But something wasn't right. There was something so... strange.
You did what you could to work on it, to let it pass.
Even if it cost you the trust in your relationship.
August.
Your hands trembled as you dialed his number for the tenth time that night. Maybe you were being dramatic, but Jake always made sure to let you know when he had returned home.
The sudden change that had occurred in him over the past 3 months didn't help at all. You wouldn't last a lifetime without wondering why his body kept producing wounds he claimed not to remember, or about those days of complete dissociation on his part, when he swore you were playing with him when you told him it was Saturday and not Wednesday.
"I just want to know you're okay." You whispered with a broken voice to the voicemail. "Please, just tell me you're okay."
There was no response that night. You couldn't sleep either.
The next day, when he showed up at your doorstep with the dark circles you had learned to get used to over the days, your body's first reaction was to push him with all your strength. It was only enough to make him stagger.
"You're an idiot." You spat the words, your eyes flooded with tears.
"Me quedé dormido anoche, perdón.” (I fell asleep, I'm sorry.) He didn't even seem to believe the words coming out of his mouth, but how could he explain to you what was happening in his life if he didn't even know what the hell was going on?
"How much longer do you plan on lying to me?" You didn't care that people passing by on the street saw you both as crazy. You in your pajamas, him leaning against the car as a method of protection.
"No te estoy mintiendo." (I’m not lying to you.) He raised his voice a little, letting out a lot of the feelings he had been suppressing for a while.
"Do you think I'm stupid?" The worst part was that you also had things bottled up inside you, the worry for him being the thing that choked you every day, squeezing tighter and tighter.
"Creo que no quieres entenderme.” (I think you don't want to understand me.) He was angry. You had never heard him like this, especially not directed at you. "Creo que ni siquiera estás intentando.” (I think you're not even trying.)
Damn the day you started to understand his words.
"I'm not understanding you, Jake?" You had already broken into tears. Your finger collided against his chest in an accusatory manner while he seemed unaffected, even though inside he was falling apart.
It was too much for him. Everything was too much.
"I've been trying for months to ignore what you're hiding from me." It was so difficult to argue in this way that frustration was suffocating you.
"¡No te estoy ocultando una mierda!” (I'm not hiding shit from you!) You snapped.
With fear.
Mid-sentence, Jake had reached out a hand to push you. Not with much force, just enough to separate you from his chest.
In seconds, he became aware of what he had done. If the car wasn't behind him, he would have moved even further away from you. He was overwhelmed by fear too.
He was losing himself as he had suspected.
"Me tengo que ir.” (I have to go.)
"Jake Lockley, if you leave, I don't want you to come back." Tired of seeing him run away from the problems, you resorted to the last card you would have liked to play.
You were foolish to think he would risk hurting you again. The last thing you heard was the sound of the engine accelerating to get away from you as fast as possible.
September.
The first part of September is blurry. You did your best to survive without him, but the days passed so quickly that you began to question if you were alive or just living in a bad dream that had lasted longer than necessary.
It was as if Jake was dead to you, without any sign, without any notice, nothing.
He simply disappeared.
The clear countdown of the days begins on the 13th, when your phone lit up to notify you that he wasn't doing much better than you.
✉: ¿Podemos hablar? (Can we talk?)
✉: Estoy perdido. (I'm lost.)
It hurt not having him, but it hurt more to see Jake's well-being. Not knowing how he was, where he was, what he was doing after that tragic day tormented you.
You replied, and the most important relationship in your life turned into a series of midnight calls where you tried to understand what your ex-boyfriend was mumbling from the solitude of his car.
You had friendships that had started in stranger ways than this, you could endure this.
Make it work.
October.
"Trick or treat." Mentally, he slapped himself for how ridiculous his way of reappearing was.
A half-smile appeared on your lips as you opened the door and came face to face with an embarrassed Jake, wearing your favorite leather jacket and both hands in his pockets as if he was waiting to be scolded by you.
"I doubt any of these things don't have artificial coloring number 4." That was your only response as you leaned your body against the door frame. With one hand, you held the huge container of candies that came out of hiding every Halloween.
"Estaba por aquí.” (I was around here.) Jake pointed back, the path that led to the supermarket, or at least that's what you assumed. He had a very lame excuse to see you, but that worked for you. The interest was enough. "Y pensé en venir a saludar.” (And I thought of coming. To say hi.)
"I'm watching Friday The 13th." You looked behind him. Children approached with shyness, seeking candy. "Come in, let me finish with the candies."
Your smile was so genuine that Jake's heart skipped a beat. How had he lasted so long without you? Those lost 3 months would always be present in the multiple mistakes he made.
That night, you kissed until it hurt. Until your lips hurt from bites, until the skin of his neck burned from love bites, until his fingers became imprinted on your waist. "I love you." You said between moans as the movie gave you an almost unreal vision of who the love of your life was. Flashes in white, in red, even in black showing you how beautiful he was from any angle or lighting. He made your sofa creak as he raised his hip toward you, thrusting into you even deeper if that was possible. "I love you, Jake." You repeated with a broken voice while your little jumps gained more strength. Your body was already exhausted, your legs were shaking and your hair stuck to your forehead and neck from sweat but emotionally you refused to get away from him. "Te amo. Te amo. Te amo.” (I love you. I love you. I love you.) His whispers mixed with his panting. You both seemed to be on the verge of tears. "Don't go away again." Your fingers tightened on his chest, scratching at his skin as you had done many times before. "Don't ever leave me again, Jake." The way you said his name burned in his heart. He brought a hand to one of yours to squeeze them on his chest, making you feel his agitated heartbeat. There was no need to say more, not while your kisses, movements and moans spoke for themselves. That night, as you rested on his chest after an orgasm that made you both shake from head to toe, he promised you never to leave. "Mi vida.” (My life.) He repeated as his fingers untangled your hair and your weight on him increased as you drifted off to sleep. "Mi cielo. Mi corazón.” (My darling. My heart.) He whispered in your ear. "Mi todo." (My everything.)
November.
Everything with Jake was stupidly easy.
Laughing, singing, existing.
As easy as in the romantic comedies you used to love watching before you met him. And it's not that you had forgotten about those because of him, but now you enjoyed watching action movies, those that allow you to get distracted without losing track of the plot.
You didn't press him to talk about what happened in those months, knowing that there were still a thousand secrets between you because you still saw strange bruises on his body, marks on his knuckles, or felt him getting up in the early hours of the morning when he stayed over with you.
"Leave me alone!" You ran down the hallway, laughing with him trailing behind. Probably restraining himself because it would be impossible for him not to catch you with his eyes closed.
He wrapped an arm around you to press you against his chest and used the other to prevent both of you from crashing into the wall. He was laughing too.
"Do you give up?" He squeezed you tighter with his arm.
"Never! Let me go!"
The laughter almost made it difficult for you to speak.
"Come back to me, and I'll let you go."
The seconds of silence churned his stomach.
"What?"
"I mean..." He cleared his throat. "Officially. Would you be my girlfriend? Please?"
It almost seemed like he was begging you.
You reassured his fears with a kiss.
December.
"I don't understand how you can eat these things." You took a deep breath through your mouth, sticking out your tongue, already reddened by the red dye number 6, to seek some relief from the burning sensation.
Jake was setting down a fifth box from his arms. He sighed, tired.
"No puedo creer que no me estés ayudando.” (I can't believe you're not helping me.) He approached you to steal one of the Cheetos from your bag while you licked your fingers. "Te dije que uses palillos chinos, así evitas el polvo.” (I told you to use chopsticks, that way you avoid getting your fingers dusty.)
"The dust is the best part." You popped your thumb out of your mouth.
"Disgusting." He feigned a look of disgust as he settled between your legs, resting a hand on your thigh and giving it a squeeze.
"You didn't say that when..."
"¡Dios mío!" (My God!) He gasped, biting his lower lip to suppress his laughter. He leaned forward, stealing a chaste kiss from you. "Compórtate.” (Behave.)
"Are there many more boxes left? I didn't think you had so much stuff in your apartment." You pushed the box aside as you leaned forward to prolong your kisses.
"This is my apartment." He whispered with a smile against your lips.
"Touché." Your fingers slowly roamed his shirt collar before pulling him closer with a tug on the fabric. "What if you take a break?"
Jake's hands were already on his pants, figuring out how to unbutton his jeans without separating from your body.
"I'm never going to stop unpacking." He complained as his lips began to descend towards your neck.
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Ok now that I have written happy endings for the three of them I’m sick of them, lol, I’ll try to get angst-ier with these thingies
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cursedslimecicle · 4 months
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Day 35: Sir Gillion Tidestrider, Champion of the Undersea, Hero of the Deep, Pigeon Lord, The One, Warrior of Rock and Roll, Singer/Songwriter of Gillion and the Tidestriders' hit single "The Hole in Your Heart", Moisture Master, Horse Tamer, Defenestrator of the Adulterous, Friend of Dugon, Dugon's Best Friend, Dugon's Pal, Walking Fish, Fish, Dirt Eater, Chum of Chibo and Chums, Co-Captain Gill of the Riptide Pirates, Co-captain of the Albatross, Companion of Pretzel, Paramount Champion, Knighter of Julian That One Time, Pretzel Carrier, Leviathan Tamer, Serpent Rider, Brother of Dugon, Healer of the Sick, Friend of Duke D Dukem Duke of Dooke, Eater of Grass, Beater of Ass, Grandma's Good Boy, Dismantler of Evil, Eater of Shit, Capitalism Hater, Royalty Assassinator, Sufferer of the Spice, Weed Eater, Slayer of Evil, Loffinlot Liberator, Fruitninja, Eater of Sand, Juice Enjoyer, Rescuer of John, Fishy, Bitcoin Miner, NFT Purchaser, Driplord, Grandmillion, The One Who Will Change The World, Roller of Tens, Grimm Slayer, In Need of a Dad, Goblin Gobbler, Lime Lord, Tuber, Chip's Nightmare Fuel, Monsoon And Moon Son, Eater of Ass, Pretzel Seeker, Vibe Master, Pussy Slayer, Murderer of Vice Admiral Kuba Kenta, Gillion Mother-fucking Titty-sucking Tidestrider, Egg Hater, Bong Obliterator, Baby signer, Babygirl, The Red One, Skillion Liedsneaker, Fishy Boy, Tidestrizzer, Rizz Reverent, Jorts Storm, Hero of the Hour, Popper of Sacks, Tree Hugger, Summoner Rider, Brother of Lucy and Gilly.
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