#contracted jobs

[andisupreme]

I moved recently to start a new job and part of my commute now involves one of those high capacity toll booths where a two lane road suddenly flares out into 5-7 lanes of total anarchy with no lines anywhere, and then narrows back down to two lanes again, and we're just supposed to sort ourselves out? Who designed this

anyway I dreamed up this helpful anatomical guide on the drive home

#thought of flipping it upside down for it to read correctly but then it didn't feel like the driver pov #oh also yeah aside from generally pulling back from online spaces for the most part I've started a FAST-PACED full-time job #after on and off contract/part time work since 2020 #I am WIPED #all the time #exhausted #I'm told I will adjust and I am trusting these people but holy shit I'm capital B Bushed #you will not see me frequently anymore but do not mourn for me #I am adjusting to my new fish tank... #I will be thriving #by the time I turn 30 next year I will be able to hit my 30s at a run #I'm feeling it mr krabs

[amphibianaday]

day 1609

#amphibian #frog #frogsona #amphibidextrous #its so funny i started the project to have something to do after signing the contract but before starting my new job (~month long period) #but got distracted by other projects and only finished like 20% and then slowly did like. 1 seam a month #until last week when i went “i wanna wear it to a party i should finish it” #(didnt finish it in time for the party but by that time i had the momentum to finish it the day after)

[little-pondhead]

Classic "promised-at-birth-to-the-Ghost-King" story, except the contract never states how, exactly, the King is to use the offered soul. Usually, one would be offered as a bride or sacrifice. But with Pariah Dark sealed away, his retainers got a little lazy in the last few millennia. They just made some generic contracts and practically handed them out like candy.

When Danny took over as king via conquest, that included all the weird and messed up soul contracts the previous retainers had signed. And since ghost magic was a thing and seemed to have it out for Danny personally, many of these contracts updated their terms and conditions as soon as that crown hit Danny's head, reflecting the new King's subconscious desires and personality.

This caused many issues with those still around to profit from these contracts. Some people lost their power, some gained more, and some were unbound and kicked to the curb. A few special people found themselves dropping dead after their less-than-ethical abilities disappeared.

Danny was unaware of the chaos he had unintentionally caused for quite a while. It was only brought to his attention when a letter arrived on his desk one day with a copy of someone's valid contract enclosed. The new changes have been highlighted, and a separate note is attached.

It seems that in exchange for blessings of near-immortality for her infant son, a mother had offered Pariah Dark both their souls in order to ensure her child's survival during harsh times. (The souls were to be collected upon death and were to be used as soldiers in the King's Army.) The mother's soul had returned to the Keep decades ago and was recently assigned to tend to the gardens, while her son seemed to have grown into a fine gentleman and was still alive. He used his mother's gifts to serve his country and loved ones well, it seemed.

At first, Danny didn't see what any of this had to do with him. If the mother was already a part of his kingdom, and the son would be eventually, why was a letter about the whole thing showing up before him?

Then he read the revised contract, which bore his magical signature. A signature that overruled the power of Pariah and binding it to him.

'...and as such, in return for the abilities stated above, [Mary Pennyworth] and [Alfred Pennyworth] will fulfill the conditions detailed below, upon pain of Ending.

[Mary Pennyworth], when returned to the Kingdom of Dark Kingdom of Stars, will work as a lieutenant in the Skeleton Army caretaker in the Gardens of Pluto.

STATUS: COMPLETED

[Alfred Pennyworth], when returned to the Kingdom of Dark Kingdom of Stars, will work as a general in the Skeleton Army caretaker of the King and his Court.

STATUS: PENDING'

Danny had to re-read the contract several times to understand what it was saying. He now had a caretaker? What did a caretaker do? Was it like a ghost parent? Could this guy ghost-ground him??

He sighed and pressed the speed dial on his phone for Tucker. Time to find out who the hell this Alfred Pennyworth guy was, and how to break a magic contract when it wasn't even fulfilled yet.

Meanwhile, Alfred had just found the original copy of the contract amongst his mother's belongings after it glowed and drew him in. The paperwork cleared up a lot of mysteries he'd always wondered about himself, even if he disapproved of his mother's methods. Nonetheless, he smoothed out the aged paper with dark green ink, noted the fresh (sloppy, a teenager?) signature, and began preparing to meet this supposed new King and his Court.

It wouldn't hurt to make introductions before he died, after all.

#pondhead blurbs #dpxdc #alfred is now their grandpa #i just want alfred to meet danny and his group of friends and unironically call him 'your majesty' and danny HATES it #like this is the guy who's gonna be my butler/caretaker after he dies? please man just say my name #it's not a cursed name i swear #no one else knows how to feel #cause like #if the contract wasn't in place everyone was sure Alfred would haunt the manor even after death due to his devotion to the wayne family #but now he's already got a job in the afterlife #so how will the bats see their father/grandfather figure now? #Bruce: the obvious solution is to adopt these random kids who still have families so alfred never has to leave :) #alfred isn't even dead yet but the bats are speedrunning their grief in like a week

[morganbritton132]

No one tells you when you get a Big Serious Job™ how many fucking abbreviations you’ll be forced to learn.

#or how many abbreviations that you’ll come across that mean something different from what you’ve always known #I stopped reading a requisition to make this post because I read a sentence that was like #‘something something the COR and the contractor POC’ #and I stopped like ‘contractor person of color???’ before remembering Point of Contract #also no one at my job tells you what any of this stuff means. they’re just like Morgan can you take care of this DOA?’ #and I gotta sit there like Dead on Arrival??? before figuring out it’s a Delegation of Authority spreadsheet

[pied-piper-pluto]

as a big proponent of Making Your Own Webbed Site For Your Webbed Comic myself, it bothers me how, every time naver webtoon gets caught mistreating specifically its contracted artists, that news gets used as a jumping off point to promote self hosting/reading self hosted comics... it feels like a self-interested distraction from the actual issue of "this company is screwing over people it has contracts with"

#as much as i love having my own website for my comic it is not A Job Paying Me Money #and responses like this to contracted artists being exploited #feel like saying 'just quit your job and strike out on your own!' to people who are frequently not in a position to do that #this isnt an issue that can be solved by just telling everyone to get their own website yknow? #maybe i dont have the solution either but distracting from the issue to self promote wont help

[slythereen]

lestappen playing padel publicly… rbr and christian posting lestappen content… openly supporting their friendship all of a sudden… do you think christian horner sent max on an extraction mission

#christian was like contract offers are not enough we need to lure him with vibes and fun hehes #do you think Christian has max texting Charles shit like tough luck mate 😔 if only you had a team that supported you 😔 #you can’t convince me that there isn’t a second (or third???) campaign push to poach Charles going on rn #like if there isn’t one after that race idk what rbr is doing #get him while he’s weak Christian!!!!! send the bestie you’re gift wrapping for him to get the job done!! #rbr charles #the agenda is here it’s present I’m living and dying by it #Ik some of y’all think rbr would be horrible to him but frankly I don’t think they’re that stupid tactically #their pr game is better than most at the very least they wouldn’t want the horrendous optics #and lbr the narrative of stealing Ferraris golden boy and treating him better goes crazy #that’s the sort of ego rush diabolical marketing rbr thrives on #i mean. look at daniel #charles leclerc #f1 #lestappen #red bull racing #*delphi

[drumlincountry]

Like, in many ways,

Snufkin 🤝 chilchuck

HOWEVER... They are also like, diametrically opposite types of (adorable little animated) leftist guys. Snufkin is a very chill anarchist drifter who is homeless & unemployed & above all else loves trespassing. Chilchuck is a very angry & very dedicated trade unionist who values hard work & professionalism, & above all else Sticks to The Terms of his Contract. They would NOT get on.

#I believe that Snufkin is principled. I also believe he's never signed a contract in his life. Let alone upheld one #They are the kind of guys that less-political mutual friends would be like haha you two should deffo hang out u have a lot in common #And they then try to have One Drink together and NEVER speak again #Me Fein #Moomins #dungeon meshi #snufkin #chilchuck tims #I am aware that trespassing is kind of chilchucks job #But ALSO it isn't because he has a permit and he is on the clock! He would not be exploring dungeons otherwise lol

[merverelli]

dec 2023 - jan 2019 - sept 2017

its a redraw of a redraw!

(psst: here's a speedpaint if you're interested! https://youtu.be/9nn73oxU7eg)

#antisepticeye #jacksepticeye #septicart #gone back to my roots: smashing one interest into the other #ngl i was always scared of doing a second redraw of the 2019 art in case there was no difference between that one or the new one LMFAO #i basically dumped everything major that happened into the desc of the speedpaint so heres sparknotes version: #i graduated uni a second time lmfao #i got a temp contract job that fuckin ruled and i miss it #so now hopefully i can do more art (this is not a legally binding promise sadly) #thanks for sticking around! love u #just like art

[shortcakelils]

Lily and Cup as Stolitz makes so much sense and idk why 😭

teehee

#cddwtd #cddwtd lily #cddwtd cuphead #ask #helluva boss #crossover #it may have something to do w the fact that they both heavily crave love but are too scared to be genuine #plus they just act alike to the characters they’re crossed over with #I can totally see cuphead killing people for a job and lily being a love deprived royal who wants to be happy and appreciated #nothing that drastic #my art #lily rose #cuphead #I wanna draw them more it’s so fun dude #I kinda wanna make an ask blog for them but I already have so many #edit: ACTUALLY CUPHEAD DOES GO AROUND COLLECTING PEOPLE'S SOUL CONTRACTS FOR A JOB SO IG IT'S SIMILAR??

[rusty-courage]

i don't talk much about my irl life and stuff but i've been on a few animated shows in my career and the one i'm on currently is the most disorganized one i've been on so far

#taking days to give me feedback and then telling me to fix something that should have been another department's job smhhhh #this contract only runs through december so at least it's not forever but ugh

[ninamodaffari]

Remembering the portraits that I got to paint for Pillars of Eternity, one of my first contract jobs ever!  ✨

#poe #pillars of eternity #portraits #illustration #art #my art #digital art #portrait drawing #portrait #artists on tumblr #one of my first contract jobs! #forever grateful to obsidian

[wejustvibing]

THE GOAT STAYS 🐐🫶🏾

#that video is 44sec 😭🥹🫶🏾 #good job #lewis contract extension #lewis hamilton #mercedes amg f1 #f1

[inthroughthesunroof]

When your boss hands you a non-compete contract to sign that would prevent you from working for anyone else in the industry for 18 months after the job ends, and it takes five minutes on Google to find the exact state law that prohibits that...

#and also penalizes employers for intimidating employees out of competing #by doing things like asking them to sign bogus non-compete contracts #so is she too careless to realize this isn't legal or just hoping I'm too dumb to look it up? #good thing I'm not attached to this job anyway #I'm pissed

[tswwwit]

Wait, does the cheating thing on the bond always works? bcs that would be kinda freaky for R!Dipper like imagine you get pinned down by someone in the corner of a br or smthng and then said person kissed you and proceeded to explode into red mist and you literally have no idea what happened.

Also, would the constellation mark be a "cursed" Mark over the years, like you would give birth to a baby and the doctor says "😟 I am so sorry ma'am,,, I'm afraid your baby has the Cipher Companion mark. ( could also be something equally as science-y like Ursa Major, Constellation Calamation, etc idk)" And you just burst into tears.

Would that mean that dipper would get into a special program(demon wrangling program or smthng, demonologist? Maybe)? Or would the parents hide it away hoping that Bill would never take their child away?

(Sorry this au is just very interesting to me,,,, I hope u get more motivation, keep writing author 💪)

These are all options! The fun part of reincarnation AU being left ambiguous is that technically any of them could happen.

#Answers #Okay but for full transparency #I never really figured out what the 'cheating' consequence is #It's a nebulous concept since I've never had to write it happening #And left ambiguous because neither of these two are into anyone else - and as a writer I like to leave my options open! #I would assume that one of the few things they agreed on when making the contract was that unwelcome advances didn't count as cheating #But that the villain in question would get what was coming to them. Very Violently. They wanna step on a landmine? Let 'em have it #Dipper would have made a frowny face at the violence but agreed. Privately thinking well that's actually a *bonus* #A built-in defense system of sorts #(Something Bill was also thinking but absolutely phrased in the possessive aspect) #Whether or not the Consequences kick in before they meet again - their equivalent of their vow renewal - is up for grabs #Dipper trying to fend off someone only to have them burst into flames and/or blood would feel a terrified sense of relief #Who knows! Maybe Dipper has protection but has a chance for other actions before they meet again! #But the odds of that occurring are very slim. Partly due to his general awkwardness #And distinct hesitation on Dipper's part. Even though he *thinks* he should be enthusiastic #He looks at the person he's in bed with and just. It feels weird. Maybe because he hasn't (in his memory) done this before #Great job Dipper!! Someone in your bed and the best you can do is kinda grimace. Real sexy. #If he does ever manage to get up to something it's not even a tenth of the time he has with his husband #Dipper reincarnations are all very unfortunately attracted as hell to Bill Cipher and they're deeply alarmed by it #I do like the idea of different parental groups finding Dipper's birthmark and having different reactions #Perhaps a random incarnation of one of his family members ends up in charge of him one time #The results would vary *wildly* depending on who it was #On a scale of Mabel Mom to Ford Uncle how are you preparing this person for his invitable enhusbanding #(Stan remains pretty much the same but has a lot of bad marriage advice) #Wow that's a lot of tags even for me #I am going to queue this and sleep

[comite-de-salut-public]

are any members corrupt?

Is bread made from flour?

#I CAN'T GIVE SPECIFICS #I'M UNDER OATH HERE #NOT TO MENTION UNDER CONTRACT #ONLY THING WORSE THAN LOSING MY HEAD WOULD BE LOSING MY JOB #I CANNOT GO BACK TO BEING UNEMPLOYED #...anyways too much information #committee inquiries #french revolution #frev #frevblr #unreality #gimmick blog

[theflyingfeeling]

...😭

#i've never had a job in my own field that i've liked as much as i've liked my current one #the semester is ending soon and today i heard my contract will not be renewed bc the person i'm substituting will return to work after all #i've been feeling so tired and a bit poorly after the nokia arena show and i probably should have called in sick today #as i was absolutely useless today #and then after my only class today my students came to me with a gift?? 😭 #a pink enamel moomin mug and some chocolate and a paper on which they had written nice things about me + a drawing of a dachshund 😭 #and i burst to tears right there in front of them because i was so touched (and also because i'm just really really tired and emotional) #i'm so tired about having to apply for new jobs and having to start all over again #i'm so tired of having to do shitty short-notice substitutions again #i feel like i deserve better than that but on the other hand i fee like life's giving me exactly what i deserve and maybe this is it #i'm dreading the summer because idk if i'll have a job to go to in the autumn #and even if i did find something it won't be like the job i have now #also. it's may day eve and the weather's lovely #and i'm hiding in my apartment with the curtains closed so i won't see all the people going out and having fun with their friends #for me may day eve has never been like that. i've always felt so very excluded from those celebrations #on top of that i got yelled at by a bus driver and i'm the worst friend that ever existed #i'm trying to quit on whining about my sad little life but it gets so lonely #please know i'm not writing this for attention or pity. i know y'all have problems of your own and i'm just being a dramatic crybaby