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yoelarmas04242003 · 2 months

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Ride of The Doors (my version)

Bowser was running into the hallway, carrying both Kiyi and Mario. “Glad you came back, Mario.” Bowser said. “Someone has to take care of you, you big Shellhead.” Mario said, patting Bowser’s hand. Screaming can be heard, until it’s revealed to be Peach charging towards Mario and lunges to the red capped mustachio. Knocking him out of Bowser's grip.

“Peaches, I really can’t talk right now…” Mario protested, as Bowser grabbed him by the wrist, unintentionally dragging both Mario and Peach across the hallway floor.

“Mario, if you don’t tell me what’s going on right now! We are through! You hear me? Through!”

Mario hastily spoke, “Okay, here’s the truth! You know the kid that they’re looking for? Bowser let her in! We tried to send her back, but Krabs had this secret plot, and Zanza is right behind us, and he’s trying to kill us.”

Peach growled venomously, “You expect me to believe that pack of lies, Mario Mario!”

Kiyi peeked over Bowser’s shell, and burbled happily, “It’s-a me, Mario!”

Peach screamed in alarm, letting go of Mario, as he was being dragged into the scare floor. “I love you, Peaches!”

Peach turned around and saw Zanza and Sargent Guy going after the duo. “Look out you…” Zanza bumped into a cart of scream canisters. “…idiot!”

Peach glared at the blonde male. Meanwhile, with Mario and Bowser, the two push through their fellow coworkers. “Look out! Coming through here!”

Bowser issued, “Sorry!”

Mario urged, “Make way! Move it! Hurry up! Hurry up!”

Bowser takes the keycard out of Kiyi’s costume and swipes through the slot on the console, anxiously waiting for it to arrive. Zanza and Sargent Guy entered the scare floor. “They there are!” Zanza pointed to our main trio.

Mario and Bowser were nervous as Zanza made his way through.

“Attention, all employees. Zanza has just broken the all-time Scare Record!” Peach spoke through the P.A system, causing an impromptu celebration. “What? No, I didn’t.” Zanza tries to say as the other video game villains cheered for him.

“Go get ‘em, Red Knight!” Peach hung the intercom receiver back onto the wall, knowing she’d played her part.

Kiyi’s door shows up from the shaft that leads into the vault. Mario points towards it, “There it is!”

Get off of my cape! Let me through!” Zanza growled as he pushed through the cheering crowd. Bowser gasped as he saw Zanza approaching him. Making a hasty decision, Bowser slammed his fist onto a red panic button, causing a massive door recall.

“Bowser, what are you doing?!” Mario asked, as Bowser ran to the door station near him, and grabbed onto the frame. “Grab on, Mario!” Bowser said as the door was getting ready to return to the vault. Mario grabbed onto Bowser’s tail, “Are you out of your…” Mario said as the grabber rose up, “…MIIIIIND?!”

Zanza finds the duo high up, so he climbs up another station's grabber and clung onto that station’s door. The doors start to head back into the vault, with Mario whimpering during the whole thing, the doors went through the shaft, “Bowser, what’re we doing?!”

“We have to get Kiyi’s door and find a station!” Bowser explained. “What a plan, simple, yet insane!” Mario commented, while unbeknownst to them, Zanza is still after them as he hopped to the door in front of him. The doors exited the shaft and into the vault, a massive room that contains millions of doors, that leads to every corner of the globe; United States, Canada, Mexico, Panama, Hati, Jamaica, Peru…

“Whoa..” Bowser couldn’t believe the sight, but Mario was more apprehensive. “Oh, boy.”

Soon, they were approaching a booster that was on the conveyor track. “Hold on!” Bowser warned as their door went through, sending it speeding down the track. The door raced through the conveyor track like a hi-speed roller coaster, going through twists and turns. Bowser and Mario, along with Kiyi, were screaming at the top of their lungs, with the latter having the time of her life.

“Don’t look down!” Bowser yelled as their door went through a raised section of track. It wasn’t long when they saw some doors going downhill, Bowser and Mario gasped as their door went down into a near vertical drop. Bowser and Mario screamed in terror, while Kiyi screamed in joy. Bowser noticed that the indicator light was going on and off as Kiyi was screaming in her aforementioned joy. The drop soon led to a twisted section of track which curves around a post.

“I’m gonna be sick! I’m gonna be sick!” Mario chanted as they curved around the post. “Oh, no!” Mario said as just up ahead, doors were being switched to different tracks. “No!” Bowser shouted as Kiyi’s door was switched to one track, while theirs was switched to another, same with Zanza. “Kiyi‘s door?! Bowser shouted, while Mario tracked it and pointed to it, “There it is! How are we supposed to get to it now?”

Soon, their door stopped in a dark corridor made from nearby doors. “Oh, it’s a dead end, Bowser!” Mario laments as Zanza appears on the row next to them. Mario gasped, “There he is!”

“Make her laugh!” Bowser ordered Mario.

“What, Bowser…” Mario tried to protest.

“Just do it!” Bowser urged, and Mario relented as he reluctantly punched himself in the face. “Ow!” Mario yelled in pain, but this got Kiyi laughing. Her laughter echoes, powering every single door in this massive vault. Zanza was riding a door that was sent to this row. “Get it open!” Bowser exclaimed. Mario got the door opened and inside, with Bowser following suit. “Here he comes!”

“Give me that kid!” Zanza yelled as he lunged towards the door that our heroes entered, but ended up smacking against it as it closed. Meanwhile, Mario and Bowser exited a beach house, with the former taking in the scenery, “Why couldn’t we get banished here?”

“Come on, we gotta find another door!” Bowser said as they went to another beach house a few steps away. Bowser exited the door and stopped himself from falling off. Bowser looked around frantically, until he spotted a familiar bamboo door. “Look, Kiyi’s door!” Bowser pointed it out. Bowser, then climbing to the door on the row above him. Opening the door, Bowser went inside the room associated with that door. Mario looked behind and saw Zanza hot on their trail. “There he is! Hurry up! Hurry up!” Mario panicked as he shimmied up the door frame. “Give me your hand.” Bowser said as he stuck out his hand. Mario tries to take Bowser’s hand, but slips off the frame, luckily Bowser catches him by the ankle, and pulls him inside. As soon as the door closes, Zanza comes out of the tropical door.

Meanwhile, the three were in a Japanese household, and stopped at a paper door, Bowser was confused, until Mario hastily advised, “Come on! Come on! It slides! It slides!”

“Oh, right, right, right!” Bowser slid the door open and they ran across the room. The next door they exited was moving along on the conveyor track. “Jump! I’m right behind you!” Mario calls Bowser. Bowser jumped to a door on the track below, and with Mario following suit. The three came across a balcony and they dropped onto it. They soon run to a door undergoing some maintenance, as Bowser finds Zanza still hot on trail. “Hurry up! Keep moving!” Mario urged. Bowser opened the door and urged, “Get inside!”

Mario hopped into the door, but due to the door lying flat on the ground, his trajectory was changed, as he fell into a French household. Landing onto the floor, Mario was confused, “That was weird…”

Bowser jumped in, but ended up landing on Mario. “Mario?” Bowser wondered, until he heard some muffled yelling, along with an angrily pounding fist pounding the floor. Bowser then realized that he was sitting on the poor guy. “Sorry, buddy…” Bowser apologized as he pulled Mario back on his feet, albeit a bit dazed, but he recuperates as they head out. Zanza, already on the balcony and went through the French door, he growled when he got in. Zanza emerges from a door moving along on the conveyor track, he was about to jump to another door, but the door suddenly slammed in front of him, leaving bits of his blonde hair sticking out. The door slammer was revealed to Mario.

“I hope that hurts, God boy!” Mario taunted as he jumped to the track below him, joining Bowser and Kiyi. “Great job, buddy! We lost him!” Bowser congratulated his pal, until Kiyi suddenly slipped from Bowser’s arm with a scream. “Kiyi!” Bowser exclaimed, as Zanza suddenly showed up with Kiyi in his grasp. “No…” Zanza pulled out a pin that caused the hook to let go of the door and send it into free fall.

“Nice working with ya!” Zanza called out to the falling duo. The door was plummeting fast as Bowser screamed, “Get it open!”

“I’m trying!” Mario exclaimed.

“OPEN THE DOOR!!!” Bowser yelled as Mario got the door to open, he went in first. Once he went in, he grabbed Bowser. “Come on, get in here!” Mario yelled as he pulled Bowser in, and shuts the door moments before being smashed upon impact. Zanza jumped from the hook to another door as Kiyi cried in fear when being held by Zanza.

A flatbed cart with doors and door parts stacked on top of it moved, until Bowser and Mario burst out of it. Bowser and Mario looked around the balcony, where they saw a familiar holy dressed figure riding a distant door. “There they are!”

Bowser raced to the edge of the balcony, over to more moving doors. The koopa balances himself on the railing, hoping to catch up with Zanza. Mario asked, “Bowser, what are you doing?! Bowser!”

Bowser hopped to a passing door, behind the god, with Mario doing the same. They rode along as Mario urged, “Looks like we caught the express, pal!”

“Do you see them?” Bowser asked Mario. “Straight ahead!” Mario pinpointed where both Zanza and Kiyi are, prompting Bowser to hop to another passing door. Meanwhile, Kiyi squirmed in the god’s grasp, but he only tightened it. Bowser dropped to the door on the track below him and dropped to a second one, but he slipped, causing the door to tilt. A passing group of doors slammed against it, alerting Zanza. Bowser fixed his position as Zanza entered the door he was riding. Bowser swung the door, and used the momentum to break into the room, finding Kiyi.

“Dragon!” Kiyi greeted her shelled guardian.

“Kiyi!” Bowser cheered, as he was about to pick her up. Zanza kicked Bowser in the face, causing him to dangle off the bottom of the door frame for dear life. The god stood over the koopa, both evilly and triumphantly. “Look at everyone’s favorite villain now, YOU STUPID PATHETIC WASTE!!!” Zanza shouted as he kicked Bowser’s left hand off the door frame. Kiyi whimpers in fear as Zanza shouted, “YOU'VE BEEN NUMBER ONE FOR TOO LONG, KOOPA! NOW YOUR TIME IS UP!”

Zanza stepped on Bowser’s right hand and pushed it an inch. Kiyi’s fear was soon replaced by seething rage. “AND DON'T WORRY, I'LL TAKE GOOD CARE OF THE KID!” Zanza finished as he grinded his foot into Bowser’s hand. “No!” Bowser winced.

“YAAAAHHHH!!!!!” Zanza yelled out in pain as he was pulled back inside, revealing to Kiyi sitting on his shoulders, holding onto his blonde hair. She yanks on Zanza’s blonde hair, causing him to yell out in pain with each yank and she flies him into a bookshelf, in which he slides down against. Bowser, meanwhile, pulls himself back up as Kiyi flies Zanza into another wall, causing him to go low to the ground, where she notices a baseball bat, grabs it and proceeds to use it to beat him in the head with it. Kiyi hopped off as Bowser grabbed and restrained Zanza, Kiyi growled at him.

“She’s not scared of you, anymore.” Bowser said to Zanza as Kiyi kept growling, then smiled. “Looks like you’re out of a job,” Bowser smirked as Zanza gulped.

We then cut to Mario propping a door against a railing, and then opening the door. “All right, let’s see the old stuff here, pal.” Mario spoke like an umpire, as Bowser swung Zanza back and forth.

“No, no, no, no, wait, please, don’t! Don’t!” Zanza panicked.

“Hum baby. Hum baby. Here’s the pitch…” Mario continued his baseball style speech.

“NO!” Zanza yelled as Bowser chucked him through the door. Mario instantly closed the door as soon Zanza went inside. “And he is… OUTTA HERE!!!” Mario announced.

—————————————————————

Meanwhile, in a cabin in the woods, the lights turned on, revealing both the kid’s and Zanza’s silhouettes. “Momma, another slasher got in the house again!” The kid pointed to a silhouetted Zanza, which cues in the mother’s silhouette. “Another slasher?! Gimme that shovel!” The mother told her kid, who obliged by giving her the object of choice. “Come here!”

The mother whacked Zanza, who’s getting another butt whupping for the second time. “Yeah, momma, get that slasher!” The kid cheers for his mother, who kept whacking Zanza, highlighted by his cries of pain.

—————————————————————

Meanwhile, Bowser punched the indicator light, shattering it, effectively putting that door out of commission. Bowser then gestures to Mario, “Care to the honors, Mario?”

“With pleasure…” Mario accepted, and he tipped the door over the railing sending it into free fall, where it got smashed upon impact. Kiyi waves in a taunting manner and blows a raspberry at the end. “That’s right, Kiyi, you beat him.” Bowser congratulated Kiyi. “Come on.” Bowser advised.

The trio finally made it Kiyi’s door after all of the madness that just happened. “Okay, Kiyi, it’s time for you to go home now. Behave yourself and be a good girl, okay.” Bowser told Kiyi, until they opened it, revealing other doors stacked behind it. Mario gasped, “Oh, no.”

“The power’s out. Make her laugh again.” Bowser exclaimed, gesturing to Kiyi. Mario stood on the conveyor track. “I got a move here, it will bring down the house.” Mario said, as he jumped, did a flip, and that resulted in a rather… painful landing. Bowser flipped Kiyi’s hood back and apologized, “Sorry, she didn’t see that!”

“What?!” Mario exclaimed, pulling himself up, shaky in the legs after that rather… painful landing. “What did you do, forget to check that her stupid hood was up, you big dope?!”

“Uncle Mario, try not to yell at her. You know that we need her to laugh.” Bowser said in a sing-songy voice. “Right!” Mario said, sheepishly. He chuckled and said, “Hey, Kiyi! Just kidding! Look!”

Mario slammed the door on his cheeks, squishing them in an attempt of making a silly face, and spoke in gibberish by his puckered lips. Kiyi was not amused as Mario continued, “Funny, right? Huh? See what the…”

“These are the jokes, kid.” Mario said in annoyance. “Whoa!” Mario exclaimed as the door suddenly lurched, and started to move along on the conveyor track. “What’s happening?!” Mario asked. “Hold on!” Bowser advised.

#super mario #bowser #source: monsters inc #scene rewrite #crossover #atla kiyi #zanza #princess peach #Sargent Guy #xenoblade chronicles

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stupendoustrashmagazine · 4 years

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A 10-pp. selection of poems

Personage The terrace offers a point. From this point a view. It's only a stop-off; it assumes the motion requisite for temporary stays will continue. The speculative friction required to stop those passing through would require planned extinction; would require war against generations of persistence across biome, suffering & misery magnified it remains threatened always. Building requires digging. Digging creates hollows to be filled. A move past botanicals—it doesn’t exist. A pulse in the web. Walk toward beyond the view: journey’s luck to close in on production. Pace picks up, dusk’s dis- appearing light invites one in: welcome. Prelude Tonight the act of naming fell through the floor. We speak permeable solids inflected by light. Skull’s grid moves units indistinctly: windshield & palette cross paths, hatch an Ovidian shift, difixiones to devotio; the faux-gorithm teases pantheon from closet, traces flotilla’s down, hot air balloons, celebrating you or prairie fair. You’ll learn to kill that hunger for thunderhead drift. I follow shapes of your speech, attend to your syntax, taste your configuration; to keep up I sketch stick figure, code hypertext script cascading in style, the result of which confirms, again: we’re lost. Plot is a plait’d plat, flatland destination & another assemblage? I want aura to invite aural meiosis, aurora splitting into rural roads, for the bassoon quartet to be forgiven for plastic bag reeds on my direction, for aria to, moody, move into a different mode & travel out through spring’s open window; I want the racket splenetic melancholy, for dynamic accompaniment fit for unfashionable passion, the like. That state of exilium you described as a quantum between. Always pain hover triangulated. Frame Matisse with me, guilty stokes both— say the magnolia blooms shall remain & not at the expense of any other but they do not. Creek diverted, river dead: suck’d dry wax & cone though still dragonflies are purple, abdomen metallic sets of curvature & husk. Nearby: field of lightning. We walk through fjords of light forking down, resisting electrocution, naturally. The taste of our nakedness waking in early in your bed, black walnut leaves catching first October light. If I leave the house or library I sit on benches in Walmart or go to the Coralville mall alone, growing frosting in my chest & English ivy in my sinuses, scribble notes with my fork-tongue alone. Walk with me this once, again, into notional forest, ash-grey landscape dotted in umber, newborn beetles radiating, cobalt blue. Skykomish in Summer In Goldbar Washington boys crossed river with driftwood staves feet slick-step between slime & rock, underbelly of serpentine but liquefied, algal nets stretch’d between toes, Like scales without edge—stiffened Cold after crossing they crawl’d up & into caverns allowing in fractions of sun but they felt cradled in a way shielded, intimacies there before they dove into round pools spun by spit current’s swirls, the bank of the cove gritty enough for a grip as they’d climb out out of sorts, alive they’d look at the congregation from which they just emerged tangle of nets, sunken conflagrations their bodies against the wake pressed a force there, quiet, endless, sound moving through medium beckoning, shape taking a form inky jar, turbine spat out from the bottom of an oil well. Grass Cuts Nyanza Street. South Tacoma—we’re on A hill & approach it, tall grass, foreclosure. Blackberry brambles thick on the lawnslope purple, thorns & stickers, irritable touch. Boss climbs roofs with too steep a pitch; Hauls mowers from mud when I mire it Good in a ditch. His daughter today works with us, we weedwhack waist-high grass, rake clippings & tufts long enough to be hay in neat quadrants. They steam mornings we make it out as early as seven. A canopy borders the two-acre lot. I stare – emptying’s substance against nothingness of total inattention’s default setting. Metal asphalt shingles, roof’s pitch steep Low ground valley & everywhere: unhinged Botany thrives. Ivy plaits helices Around five-feet in diameter firs, in follow some twenty feet up when Jamie grabs a pitchfork. See something. It skitters through raked mounds, Goes through tunnels punctured By tines or cleat-roller aerating the lawn She shanks its body up against weed- blocker & brick. A metallic pling rings fades, she scoops it somewhere— this brought up her enjoyment killing, dressing, & cooking fowl. We move more grass I looking for insects, think of meat saws yawning day & night do they Day & night, fumbling—sound like chain saws or Colorado cattle feedlots, cottonwoods standing by during a drought, the sugar factory’s honey-butter burnt hair & soccer cleats left for week in a car. Mulch, juncos, midmorning sun on, sun off, Rake, return, pile, killing rabbits once we snapped their necks wrong, twice partial Breaks, botching it, both shaking we Shared an acute horror in our optics. Then we crushed their skulls with a hammer, But that’s when we lived near the volcano, when the halcyon sensation when standing at the bottom of Nisqually glacier, the sheaves of receding rose-grey gravel in aggregate felt like meteoroid field sent to grave resting place, armatures of old growth First & hemlocks in steep fractals jagged landings in glaciated river so thick with silt it looked an ash-blue sleeve. We take HUSKY 55-gal. trash bags of grass to the organic waste dump. We smell like gasoline & two-cylinder oil & grease. When I get home my house mama says Pew-whee! You smell like Marty; you smell like something that kills. Shards What was it that came out the water in a sled a Wayward gesture young-&-stuffed Mess to common rendition Duchamp’s Pearl Neckless? In his version The sledgehammer fell square to carcass/shard/caress. You wanted/saved like anyone else wanted, A sequence of diadems, diamondic scales on A yellow python’s back. Be-figure, a mole Amongst slag pits, a slog truce from igneous slab. Bats tunnel boroughs, funnel rigmarole We keep one ray or dot of spun molybdenum— Torque at the end of the…—that glint relieves Grog, luster, a clutch lets cable go its single, slackening line. True fundament! come to the party— From up there, from below? Come beat through this bog’s Excrement, creakily swung skew joints, fallen centurions, Carve away gluttony,—an economic model Levels the field of every thistle’s purple demarcation. Remains disappear. Binary caskets Glisten polyurethane on oak grab it… If - you – get – to – the – place To – get – you – the – records: Prefabricated dirt tastes discard bottles, Skittling crevice, crick or face, collections Binding fractures. That which goes unseen. Make & model, blue castes. Signature mummies. Huffing. That kinetic thrill Pushing hammers through Masonite, Bulls snorting horns at a flag The very requiem of the horse’s eye A black so dark it blued the muscle in deafening Postures of grey fog: a way: body: yes, a shard, Blight-bit, a descending distend, steep bends— A weather system approaches Centripetally, a large unformed cat, To distillate—nothing—to pray to the grommet, One ventricle, alas—poor valve, the idea Of the river. The river. Is. Itself. Course vessel in a Losing resonance a tributary vacillation tip-toed beyond A materiality that is, is not, any old trick. Spilling the Flour Began not thrush’s stamp, nor cardinal blue whistle but The sour flack going out, the waist line spilt. Emptying cylinders combed in sheet metal corrugate, Fill another vision, the conveyor belt muscle Persuasion. Sometimes a harvest sits like pheasants Before buckshot, freeze-frame, promise cannon— What will be. Corn stalks chopped at maggot root twist Wind crowing a parade, sans confetti, sans soleil. Platoon the distant mist, forgetting it’s metal multiplied In numbers not quantity. Not fog. That’s fire But the wound continuum in ears splits hair mimics a mime Brown cerumen flax spreads flat lays down in- To a line. Elements bind fetch needle & borrow thread Stitch from denim you see the voices hear. Spiders don’t mean to. Bats garner a wick of light Against normalcy of shadow. When is not Important. Con memory commemorate ingrown toe- Nail sunk into rib-line fleshed out for sake Of sake of being. Forsaken lake: equivalent to constrictor Vine, not theorem. Carpet moves imagined Equestrians run between alder beetles the abandoned Horses heaving in the meadow along the orange Vector. The chemilume incision furcates the dark shells Guarding liquefied innards, the many legs. The Awful Cutlery Traveling by Greyhound between Dominguez- Escalante and Grand Mesa National forest, We’re full enough In the filled up four-wheel lurch on blacktop I-70 elegantly swung across Secluded Rocky Mountain scrag. “This shit’s too country” a woman remarks. You see what she means. The rosaries Of apricot, peach, cherry, and plum disintegrate Vineyard to vineyard to bottle To California, mid-stride Maybe she means. Maybe Damian The off-shore welder tells me about hanging above The water, rigged up, slung out, strapped in, Gluing thousand-degree metal to solid stack Rigs, working twelves till three months pass So he can go—“I go everywhere”—to complicate Home—“Love Alabama but I need to see it all The whole shit.” Dusk is a disk with a predictable arc. I’m here twenty years, this red land. From bottom canyon ditch combs Of bygone eon drag across mesa, leaving scar, Evidence of water, wind, shaggy coats left To bear, bear themselves, on other creatures Pitching, tent-by-tent, a story, a new story, old. The mother tells you, you & me, of Rocky Mountain Flats, the Climax Uranium Mill, A fire beginning with a crack, croaking a Groan to a glow, plutonium then, dizzied in dust, Vapored amoeba flung across the whole Front Range. Cows were the first to show up Without usual parts: eye, ear or triple-tongue. Do I believe anything I say anymore? Set that head against Plexiglas. Feel the chill— A lavender fork makes an albino tarantula Of sky, yet there’s a merge, the speech Corks off. Into each direction, asymmetry Between passengers a music nonetheless, The hiddenness behind tall sediment walls Now, this cutlery mass Stalking hungry movers, clawing at the dirt To reveal the intact pores of a distant femur. Safe/Way Courtesy Clerk In the aisles of nondescription halogen baleen Sifts shop-cart rift-racket & geriatric dances. Old/new toothpick paradigm cues a mist/turn: Old is to new as young is to old, meaning Painting the urn in synthesizer blue still undoes. The unheard chambers are sweeter. Polyethylene is a mon-on- monomer ladder of Chain-stacks, bindings, writes the blurb We’re all in this together. Savings save you From it, from it you’ll be saved the lapse: Western tanager memorizes its own memory Launched in citrus beneath the varied canopy. Really: in this Safeway a woman chutes Hundreds of one-liters into the re/cycle Machine. She leans on cart rail, no wheel. Her child helps he laughed he threw them into The bin, the coins emerged. Someone said Music moves from a fix-point fence post, studded Down into ground. He’s right—what is there to do But do, bag up a customer’s purple cabbage Dreams stuff them sweet potato mush- Room into room, sacked. They’d blister From oxygen’s lack they’d try to make it, try To survive. Wouldn’t it be courteous To curtsy before bags bulge as balloons stuffed With vision? Even in tulip & rose section I Hand out the foxtail elixir, all the loot; were they Bodies turned down, turned into what now, soup? The day is butternut squash but wouldn’t A lizard do today let’s get all the gutter newts Recalling now how Scooby returned From a long drive he threw an iguana On the chopping block on the counter top In the apartment he was making soup He sawed off its head. What was inside The eyes? Nothing much. Eye cones con, resemble The black glass of a tick’s back. You’ll try To reach in & what — find out who looks back Tell yourself that’s you looking back. A gaze. Scooby ran cool water over the head, on it. Its jaw opened and closed again & again. “This is good soup that’s what happens After the head’s cut off.” What would the body Do after, what voice would reclaim itself, Would reconvene re — gather protest against scores Settled, dust made fall silk, unnoticed? What takes when taken back, how’ll things Exactly as they are be exactly as they’d been? What music shapes the marina, the guitar Rustling out a poison ivy arpeggio to become The place and the things of things as they are? How do you bargain or take the lead For the dreaded duet? The mouth opens cilia Tongue juts out pink premonition the sky boom Nitro’s paisley maize radished in the Word-Ward. Blue pollen doesn’t exist but when the man Who looks one-hundred buys the dyed-blue orchid & says “it’s for my” I cut him off & ask but He just laughs & says “it’s just a flower it’s just An empty bag” & walks out, away, toward Automatic sensor doors, glass partitions that open Like megafauna with a belly full of a world on fire.

#poems #poem #poet #poetry #excerpt #poetry ms.#revisions

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itskimtaehyung · 6 years

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Your Biggest Fan 2 (M)

라면 먹을래? (ra-myeon meok-eul-lae?) - A phrase in Korean that translates to “Do you want to eat ramen?” but can also mean “Do you want to have sex?”

Part 1

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Smut, comedy, fluff, idol!Jungkook

Word Count: 5.2k

Content/Warnings: Smut, multiple orgasms, using “bitch” as a term of endearment, BLOND JUNGKOOK.

A/N: This is not at all related to the first part and doesn’t even take place in the same universe.

Summary: After years of saying you would, you and your best friend finally pack your bags and take a trip to Korea. However, when you run into your favorite idol at an amusement park, your inexperience with the culture leads you to misinterpret his idea of a date.

The plane lands rather roughly onto the Incheon runway and you find yourself gripping the armrests for dear life. Once it comes to complete a stop at the terminal, you hurriedly unbuckle your seatbelt and finally let out the breath you had been holding. Your best friend, Sam, however, seems unfazed.

“Can you believe it?” She turns toward you in your seat, grabbing your arm and shaking it in excitement. “We’re finally here!!! We’re finally in Korea!!!”

“Yeah!” You muster as much enthusiasm as you can. “But I hope we can off board soon. I think I’m going to be sick.”

“Don’t worry. Once you breathe in that Korean air, you’ll be all better.”

Sam was right, because once you step out of the airport, back onto the sweet, sweet ground, you immediately feel at home in this foreign country.

“Oh my god!” You exclaim. “We’re here! We’re actually in Korea!”

“Yup! After saving up for a year, we finally made it.”

“I can’t wait to eat everything.” The both of you laugh, completely in agreement.

“I’ll call a cab and then we can head over to our Airbnb.”

“Okay!”

Since Sam decides to wander off to catch a cab, that leaves you in charge of getting your luggage. Although the two of you are here for two whole weeks, you agreed to pack lightly so that you could stuff your bags with makeup and skincare to take home.

You wait by the baggage carousel, scanning the conveyor belt for your luggage. You thought that bringing a bright red suitcase would make it easier for you to spot your belongings among all the bags, but apparently a bunch of other people have the same idea. About half the suitcases that pass you are also bright red, so you have to check the tags to find yours.

After already claiming Sam’s bag, you finally spot yours making its way toward you. However, it’s buried beneath a couple of heavier bags, and you struggle to pull it free. You tug on it, but the bags on top of it don’t budge. You’re about to give up and wait for the owners of those bags to claim theirs, until a tall stranger, dressed in all black and wearing a black mask, reaches over and grabs your suitcase for you, placing it at your side.

You thank him and he simply grumbles in response, slinging his own camo print bag over his shoulder and walking off. You blink and lose sight of him immediately. You scan the crowd but he’s nowhere in sight, so you just shrug and join Sam outside.

Once you arrive at the Airbnb, you immediately collapse on the couch. That plane ride utterly drained you, and you can’t wait for the sweet release of sleep.

Sam pushes your legs to the side so that she can sit down next to them. “Rest up, bitch! We got a big day tomorrow!”

You groan, the jetlag hitting you hard. “What’s on the agenda for tomorrow?”

“Lotte World!” She throws her arms up in excitement.

You instantly sit up. “Lotte World?! I’ve always wanted to go to Lotte World!” You’ve heard nothing but good things about Lotte World. An amusement park, shopping center, and aquarium all in one? What could be better? And it’s also known to be a hotspot among idols, so maybe you’ll see one there too.

“I know. Which is why I put it first on our list of activities. I can’t wait!”

“I would scream, but I’m far too exhausted right now. I just hope I’m not too much of a wimp to go on the roller coasters.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to force you on any rides you don’t want to go on.” She places a reassuring hand on your leg.

“This is why you’re my best friend.”

“I know.” She leans over to give you a hug, completely crushing you with her love.

“Now let’s get showered and go to bed.”

“Noooo,” you whine. “I’m too tired. I just want to sleep.”

Sam stands up and grabs you by your feet. “Come on.” She tugs on your ankles but you barely budge. “Either that, or you’re going to have to wake up extra early to shower before we leave.”

You groan. “Fine, fine. I’m going.”

“So I was thinking,” Sam, the mastermind behind this trip, says when the two of you are getting ready to leave for the day. “We can spend a few hours at Lotte World, have lunch there, go on some rides, do some shopping. Then we can head over to Gangnam and grab some dinner and explore a bit. Just kind of go with the flow of things so we’re not restricted to a schedule where it’s like 6:45 we must leave Lotte World and eat dinner by 7:30, et cetera. We’ll just see how we’re feeling and go with that.”

“Yeah, that sounds good to me.” You tie your hair up on a tight ponytail and grab a water bottle from the fridge to stuff in your backpack. “Should we bring some snacks?”

“There’s a 7-Eleven in Lotte World so if we want to grab something cheap we can go there.”

“Alright, cool.” You put on your shoes and lace them up. “Ahhhh I’m so excited!”

“Me too! Let’s go! Do you have the key?”

“Yep!”

And the two of you head out the door.

“Holy fuck. I had no idea how ginormous this place was,” you remark once you and Sam arrive at Lotte World.

“So like, there’s the main theme park, Lotte World Adventure, and the aquarium, the department store, and Seoul Sky, which is like a look out point where you can see pretty much all of Seoul.”

“Oooh, where do we start? Should we hit up the theme park first?”

“Sure, I’d be down for that!”

You and Sam skip on over to the theme park. The two of you go on the carousel, walk through the mirror maze, and pretty much partake in all the tamer attractions. That is, until Sam sees a particular ride toward the side of the park. One that you definitely want nothing to do with.

“Biiiiiitch. It’s the Conquistador! Can we go on it? Please?” She grabs onto your hand and jumps up and down.

You stare up at the ride and gulp. It consists of an open pirate ship that swings back and forth like a pendulum. You know these rides and tested to be safe, but you just can’t help thinking about how easy it looks for you to just fly off the ride to your death if the safety belt breaks or malfunctions.

“Y-you can go on,” you tell Sam. “I’m just going to wait down here.”

“Are you sure?”

You nod your head.

Noticing how nervous you are, she agrees. “You can walk around for a bit and maybe grab a snack, but meet me back here later.”

Again, you nod.

“I’ll see you soon!” She lets go of your hand and heads off to join the line.

“Okay! Have fun! Please don’t die!”

“Don’t worry, Y/N,” she calls back to you. “I won’t! Love you!”

“Love you too!”

And with that, she’s gone. Now you have to decide what to do until she gets back.

You look around at all the other attractions until your eyes catch a familiar figure in the crowd. It’s the guy that helped you with your bag yesterday. You’re positive it’s him. He’s wearing the same black hoodie, black jeans, and black mask. His eyes meet yours and you momentarily freeze. There’s a spark of recognition in his face. His eyes scrunch in what you believe is a smile and waves, and for some reason you interpret that as a cue to go over and talk to him.

The closer you get to him the more he seems familiar, not just from the airport yesterday, but you feel like you recognize him from somewhere else too. No, it can’t be, you tell yourself. But the closer you get to him, the more you’re convinced. It is him.

What do you say? How do you greet him? Now approaching him just feels inappropriate, but he already sees you walking toward him, he’s already anticipating your approach.

“Please excuse me,” you greet the tall figure in front of you with a bow. “But, I’m a huge fan.”

He guides you toward a more secluded corner of the park, near the drinking fountains and away from the large crowds. He then pulls down his mask to speak. “It’s fine.” He dismisses it with the wave of his hand. “Honestly, I was hoping you would come over and say hi.” He grins at you. Seeing you struggle to translate your thoughts into his native language, he adds, “It’s nice to meet you, what is your name?”

“Oh! Your English has gotten so much better!” You remark at his near perfect pronunciation.

He blushes. “Thank you.”

You tell him your name and he struggles to repeat the foreign syllables. You giggle. “Don’t worry about it. And if it makes you more comfortable, we can speak in Korean. I spent the last few years studying.”

He nods and chuckles. “Yes, that’d be easier for me. Although, I should be practicing, too.”

“Maybe I can help sometime,” you flirt, throwing all qualms out the window.

He gives you a shy smile and nods. “Hey, what year were you born?”

“97,” you tell him.

He perks up at your answer. “Oh! So we were born the same year! Shall we speak casually then?”

“Sure! So what brings you here to Lotte World? I thought someone like you would tend to stay away from crowded spaces.”

“I had been travelling for a while and I missed Korea. And what’s more Korean than Lotte World? Probably a lot of things, actually.” Jungkook chuckles. “But it’s good to be home, surrounded by my people. How about you? What brings you here?”

“I’m here with my best friend, Sam. We’ve always wanted to come to Korea and we finally saved up enough to do it. Also I keep hearing about how Lotte World is this amazing place and I really wanted to see what everyone was talking about.”

“And does it live up to your expectations?”

“From what I’ve seen of it, definitely.” There’s a pause in the conversation, and you take it as an opportunity to say, “By the way, thank you for helping me with my bag yesterday at the airport.”

“Ah, so it was you! Of course. It’s my pleasure to help a pretty girl like you.” The boy’s grin quickly turned into a smirk. “So what are you doing tonight?”

You’re slightly taken aback by his question. You just met him and he’s already asking you for your plans for the night. “I don’t know. I’m here with my friend and we don’t really have a plan. We were just going to go with how we felt.”

“Hmmm. You’re very pretty.” His deadly gaze pierces through you. “Do you want to eat ramen with me? We can go to my place.”

“Sure! I’d be down for that.” You love ramen and would definitely not want to pass up and opportunity of eating dinner with him. Surely Sam would understand your reasons for ditching her.

“Great! Uhhh,” he fumbles through his pockets for his phone. “Do you have KKT?”

“I do.”

“Can I add you?”

You nod. “Of course.” He hands you his phone and you type in your Kakaotalk ID. When you hand it back to him, he immediately sends you a message.

“KAKAOTALK!” Your phone chimes.

“Obama?” He smiles at you and gives you a questioning look.

“Of course, it’s iconic.”

He lets out a laugh. “Well, that’s my address. Let me know what time your free.”

“Will do!”

“See you later, Y/N.”

“Yeah, see you later, Jungkook.”

And you’re left to stand there thinking, Did that really happen? Did Jeon Jungkook really just invite you over to his place for dinner? You, just a random fan he met at the amusement park. Sounds fake, but whatever.

“I can’t believe you met Jeon Jungkook while I was gone!” Sam blurts when you tell her what happened on the train ride home later that day. “I have regrets! I regret going on the Conquistador!”

You laugh. “You had fun, though, didn’t you?”

“Yeah! But not as much fun as I could have had meeting the Jeon Jungkook.”

“That actually wasn’t the first time I met him.” You smile and turn to the side as you take a sip from your water bottle.

“What???” She leans over and grabs your arm. “Spill.”

“He helped me at baggage claim yesterday.”

“While I was calling a cab?! God, I’m never leaving your side ever again.”

“Um, bitch, you better. He invited me to dinner tonight.”

“Excuse me?! Huh??? You’re going on a date with Jeon Jungkook??? How the fuck are you so lucky?!”

“I don’t know if you could consider it a date. We’re just staying at his place and eating ramen.”

“HE INVITED YOU TO HIS HOUSE??? I’M SCREAMING! I’M– I LITERALLY CANNOT BELIEVE WHAT I’M HEARING RIGHT NOW. OH MY GOD.”

“Also, get this. He was wearing a sweatshirt with his hood up, but I swear I saw that his hair was blond.”

“YOU BITCH. YOU GET TO GO ON A DATE WITH BLOND JUNGKOOK.” She collapses onto the back of her seat and places the back of her hand to her forehead. “I can’t. I’m dead.”

“Anyway, long story short, I can’t hang out with you tonight.”

“I completely, 100% understand.”

“Thank you.”

Sam sits back up. “As long as you do me one favor.”

“What is it, Sammy?”

“If you see Taehyung, please try to hook a sister up.”

“Will do,” you say with a chuckle.

At that moment, an announcement comes up, letting you know that you’re at your stop. So, you and Sam pick up your bags of your seats and get off the train.

You step out of the cab and onto the street, taking in your surroundings. You can’t really call this a street. It’s a big metal gate that the foot of a hill. On the other side of the gate is a road that leads up to the houses and apartments within the community. You’ve read that BTS own one of the most expensive complexes in the area, and even in all of Korea.

“Damn,” you mutter. “The fuck did you get yourself into, Y/N.”

You debate whether you should walk up to the security gate or not. Did Jungkook enter you in as a guest? Probably not, especially if he was trying to keep any form of dating a secret.

Instead of heading to the booth, which, upon further observation, actually looks empty, you pull out your phone and call Jungkook.

“Hello?”

“Hey! I’m outside the security gate. What should I do?”

“Oh! Okay! Hold on a sec, I’ll come down to get you.”

You stand there, trying not to freeze in your dress as you wait for Jungkook to come down. You weren’t sure what to wear tonight, since the two of you were just going to stay in for dinner. Would you wear something cozy? Like sweatpants or pajamas? Or would that imply that you intend to stay the night? Do you wear something nice? Like a dress and some flats? Even though you’re not going out and will probably just be eating ramen on his couch while watching a movie?

You decided to opt for the latter, putting on the only dress you brought with you to Korea. But seeing Jungkook make his way down the walkway in front of you, you feel incredibly overdressed. He is indeed blond, for one. That’s just an important thing to note. He’s also wearing a simple black t-shirt and dark grey sweatpants, and with every bounce in his step, you can tell that he’s not wearing boxers. Your cheeks flush when you catch yourself staring and immediately look away.

When he approaches the gate, he pushes a button on the other side, causing the gates to slowly swing open. You take this as your cue to enter and walk towards him.

“Hey,” he greets.

“Hey, Jungkook.”

He slips a hand around your waist, which is a much welcome relief from the cold. You snuggle closer and kick yourself for not bringing a jacket.

“So, this is Hannam-dong.” He gestures widely towards your surroundings. “I don’t suppose you’ve been here before.”

“Nope. This is actually my first time in Korea as well.”

“Oh wow! Welcome to Korea, then!” He grins at you and the the warmth of his expression genuinely does make you feel welcome.

“Thank you.”

“In the spring, you can see cherry blossoms blooming along this road,” he motions toward the trees that line the sidewalks, now bare and flowerless. “And if you keep walking that way there’s a really big fountain. Namjoon likes to go there sometimes when he doesn’t want to go all the way to the Han but still wants the peaceful sound of the water. I would offer to show it to you now, but it’s late and they’ve already shut it off.”

“Aw that’s alright.”

“Maybe next time.”

The two of you smile at each other. Next time. Which means Jungkook wants to see you again. The thought has you slightly light headed. Jeon Jungkook wants to see you again. Jeon Jungkook wants to show you around his neighborhood. Jeon Jungkook, Jeon Jungkook, Jeon Jungkook.

“And this is us.”

His words break you from your thoughts. In front of you is the entrance to what appears to be the tallest apartment building in the neighborhood. Silently, he guides you through the automatic doors.

“Come on,” he says. He takes you by the hand this time and pulls you through the lobby. “The elevator is this way.”

The two of you enter the elevator and Jungkook pushes the button for the top floor. You can see him staring at you through the reflection in the metal wall, but you don’t dare look over, afraid he’ll see just how hard you’re blushing.

Thankfully, the ride isn’t too long, and soon, the elevator dings and the doors open. Jungkook lets you step out into the hallway first, but that just leaves you to hang back a bit so he can walk in front and guide you to the apartment. The apartment sits at the end of a long hallway, and although the hall is long, there aren’t many doors, which means these places are big. When the two of you reach the last door, Jungkook manifests a key from his pocket and lets you into the apartment. When you enter, you see a spacious living room, with a couch, a TV, and a little playpen where you see Yeontan sleeping.

When he sees that the little puppy is snoozing, he turns toward you and puts a finger to his lips, indicating that you both should be quiet.

“This place is two stories,” he whispers. “Hoseok, Jimin, Jin, and Namjoon are upstairs. Taehyung, Yoongi, and I are downstairs. Oh, and Yeontan, too.”

You smile at the sight of the dog in slumber. A soft, fluffy mound of fur, rising and falling as he breathes.

“The kitchen is through that door,” he points to the right of the living room.

Jungkook then makes his way across the living room, past the sleeping Yeontan, toward a door on the left side of the apartment, and you follow closely.

“And this is my room.” Jungkook opens the door and allows you to step inside first and then closes the door behind you..

You walk around the space, taking in the gaming equipment, video cameras, and even a bowling ball and shoes shoved in the back corner of the room. In the center is a queen sized bed, with a black frame and grey bedding.

When you turn back toward Jungkook, you see that he’s already leaning in to kiss you. It’s a desperate, open-mouthed kiss that leaves you breathless. He snakes an arm around you and uses the other to push the sleeve of your dress off your shoulder.

“W-wait, I thought we were eating ramen?” You stutter, trying to catch your breath, when he pulls back.

With a startled look on his face, he says, “Don’t you know if someone asks you if you want to eat ramen it’s a euphemism for sex?”

Your eyebrows fly up. “What? Then how do you ask someone if they want to eat ramen?” Obviously, this is news to you. You honestly don’t know if you would have said yes to him if you knew.

He just shakes his head and laughs, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. “Sorry for the misunderstanding. I should have been more clear about my intentions.”

“No, no! Not entirely your fault. I should have studied more Korean expressions.”

“So, do you want ramen? I can make you some?” He steps away and starts making his way toward the door.

You take a deep breath. “I don’t think I’m in the mood for eating anymore.”

“Oh.” His stops as his face falls and he looks down at his feet. “Sorry if I–” His words are cut off as he noticed you walking closer.

“What I mean is, I’d much rather do something else tonight.” You run your hand down his bare, muscular arm and gaze up at him through your lashes.

“Oh.”

You could feel goosebumps form beneath your touch as you continue to stroke his arm.

“Well, if that’s the case…” Jungkook closes the gap between you two and pulls you close to his chest, his mouth descending upon yours hungrily.

The two of you stand there kissing, one of his hands tangled in your hair, the other wrapped tightly around your waist. You don’t know where to touch, you just want all of him beneath your fingertips. After a bit of roaming, your hands finally settle on the curve of his pecs. You can feel his bulge growing, pressing against your lower stomach through his sweatpants.

Jungkook begins guiding you toward the bed, his mouth never leaving yours. His tongue tastes the inside of your mouth, seeming to never get enough of you. When the two of you make it to the bed, you lower yourself down and wrap your legs around him. He begins grinding his hard cock against your sensitive mound and you can’t help but moan at the sensation. Eventually, he pulls back, allowing you to pull his shirt over his head. He then tugs at the hem of your dress and lifts it off your body, discarding it onto the floor. This leaves you in just your bra and panties, and him in just his dark grey sweatpants, which now have a dark stain at the crotch.

You honestly didn’t anticipate getting laid today, but you’re glad you decided to put on a matching set of decent looking black lace bra and panties. Jungkook seems to be enjoying them, as his eyes are glazed over with lust as he drinks in the sight of you.

“God I can’t wait to be inside of you,” he utters and he leans over to press his lips against your neck.

“Then what are you waiting for, Jungkook? Just fuck me.”

“Whoa, where did you learn that?” Although his voice sounds surprised, he doesn’t pause for a second.

“Korean lessons aren’t all just useless tourist phrases, you know.”

“If only English books were like that.”

“Repeat after me, Jungkook. I want you to fuck me.”

He pulls back and surprisingly tries his hardest to say the words.

“I want you to fuck me?”

“Very good,” you commend, and while he’s distracted, you take the opportunity to push him onto his back and climb on top of him. “That’s exactly what I plan on doing.”

“Fuck,” he mutters, still trying to catch his breath from your surprise attack.

“Do you have protection?” You ask while running your fingers up and down his abs.

“Yeah, one sec.” He reaches into the pocket of his sweatpants and pulls out a condom.

You take it from him and rip it open with your teeth. You then set it down on his stomach and lift yourself off his lap so you can pull down his pants. You were right, he indeed is not wearing any boxers, and once you pull down the waistband of his pants, you see his cock, hard and leaking. Jungkook kicks his sweats onto the floor, and you just marvel at his naked body in front of you.

Although you caught somewhat of a glimpse through his sweatpants, you’re taken aback by just how big he is. But of course all that sexual confidence he has on stage has to come from somewhere. But still, damn.

Jungkook groans, which pulls you out of your daze, and you take the rest of yours clothes off. Then, you reach down to pull the condom out of its wrapper and roll it down Jungkook’s shaft. You can already feel your juices wetting his thigh, and the throb of your core is telling you that you need him inside you now.

You position yourself over his cock and slowly lower yourself onto it, giving yourself time to adjust to his size. Even though you’re really wet, there’s still a slight burning sensation. Jungkook bites his lip at how slow you’re going as he watches you. He wants nothing more than to slam his hips into you but he doesn’t rush you.

Once you’ve taken him to the hilt, you begin moving up and down, going faster the more your walls relax around him. You lean over and kiss Jungkook on the lips, then make your way down his jaw to his neck. You dart your tongue out and lick the sensitive skin and you can feel the vibrations from his moans. You then place a trail of kisses down his chest and wrap your lips around one of his nipples and flick it with your tongue. He cries out when you do this and you take it as a good thing. You can feel the rise and fall of his chest grow more rapid as you reach your hand out to play with his other nipple.

“Fuck,” Jungkook mutters.

“Mmmm,” you hum. “You feel so good, Jungkook.”

Unable to help himself any longer, Jungkook places a firm grasp on your hips, stilling your motions, and begins thrusting up into you himself. He’s hitting a lot deeper and going a lot faster than you were, and you can’t stop the whines that spew from your throat. You’re so close but you don’t want this to end and you try to hold it off as long as you can. But it’s difficult, and you can’t delay it for very long.

“Jungkook,” you gasp. “Jungkook, I’m going to cum.”

“Go ahead,” he grunts. “Cum all over me.”

The tightness in your lower stomach is becoming unbearable and soon you’re cumming around Jungkook’s cock, crying his name out so loud, you’re worried you’ll wake the rest of the members.

The intensity of your orgasm has you hunched over, gasping for breath. Jungkook gives you some time to calm down as you lean over him, but he still hasn’t cum and he so desperately wants to.

After he thinks you’ve had enough time, he slides out of you and flips you over so that you’re on your back and he’s between your legs. He hitches your legs onto his shoulders and enters you again, sliding in easily with your slick arousal. You didn’t think it was possible, but it feels like Jungkook is hitting even deeper this time, and with every thrust, you feel that tight feeling return. You use one hand to grasp onto his blond locks and the other to rub circles into your clit, but wince a bit at how sensitive you are.

Jungkook bends over to place his forehead on yours and gives you a wet kiss to stifle his groans.

“Jungkook! Right there!” You cry out as he hits your g-spot. He continues to stroke you there until you’re cumming for a second time, and Jungkook follows shortly, filling the condom with his hot, milky orgasm.

Jungkook collapses on top of you and kisses your cheek. “I was waiting for you to cum again,” he pants. He places his lips on your sweat soaked forehead.

“God, I haven’t cum that hard in a long time.”

“Me neither.”

A comfortable silence falls over the two of you, and the only sound in the room is both of your heavy breathing. You can feel Jungkook softening inside of you but you don’t want him to pull out yet. You want this feeling to last as long as possible.

“You feel so good around me, I never want to stop being inside of you,” Jungkook mutters. So you and Jungkook lie there, sticky skin against skin, until he finally decides to pull out and discard the condom into the wastebasket next to the bed. Wordlessly, he grabs a tissue from a drawer in his nightstand and gently cleans you up. You squirm a bit from your sensitivity. Once he discards the tissue, he pulls the covers up over the two of you and snuggles you close.

You’re so exhausted at this point, you try your best not to fall asleep. You don’t want to miss a single second of being in Jungkook’s arms.

You lie there, tracing your finger along Jungkook’s abs, when all of a sudden your stomach starts rumbling.

Jungkook laughs. “Are you hungry?”

“A little.” You smile sheepishly.

Coincidentally, Taehyung decides to barge in at that moment and shouts, “Hey Jungkook! I’m making ramen, do you want some.” His eyes then land on you. “Oh shit, sorry, I– do you want some ramen too?

You bring the covers to your face to hide yourself, embarrassed at being caught in bed with Jungkook.

Thankfully, Jungkook answers so you don’t have to. “Yeah, Tae. Can you make us both some ramen?”

You squeal and bury your face in Jungkook’s chest because you just want to die of embarrassment.

“Okay, cool.” But Taehyung doesn’t show any signs of leaving. “What’s her name?”

You sigh and lower the covers from your face, deciding to bite the bullet and talk to him. “Hi, I’m Y/N.” You give a small wave and grimace at how awkward this exchange is.

“Hi Y/N! I’m Taehyung, but you can call me Tae. I don’t mind,” he says, seemingly unfazed at the fact that he just caught the two of you in bed post-sex.

You nod.

“Well,” Taehyung begins to shuffle away from the door. “I better get to cooking.”

But before he closes the door, you remember the one promise you made earlier today.

“Wait! Taehyung!” He startles at the sudden urgency in your voice. “Are you single? Do you want to meet my best friend, Sam, sometime? We’re in town for the next two weeks!”

“Sure! Just let me know when! We can maybe get some real ramen sometime.”

Jungkook laughs and pulls you in for kiss as Taehyung leaves and closes the door behind him.

#jungkook smut #bts smut #bts writing squad #sonyeondannet #btssmutclub #btswriters #busanboysnet #networkbangtan #armiesnet #my writing #kookoo #your biggest fan

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zwei-the-penguin-with-a-pen · 6 years

Text

‘Color Pulse’

"Hold onto your tentacles..." Callie began as she and her cousin appeared on every screen in all of Inkopolis.

"... It's INKOPOLIS NEWS TIME!!!" Her cousin Marie finished. The Squid Sisters still ran the usual news broadcasts in the city, bringing the hottest scoops to the freshest squids and kids around... and today's news was EXTRA FRESH! The annual Splatfest was hosting its final battle today!

"We interrupt your regularly squid-duled programming to bring you this urgent news bulletin: SPLATFEST FINALS TODAY!!!" Callie yelled at the top of her voice! The small pink Inkling was especially excited. Splatfest was her favorite time of year!

"The epic battle between FRUIT and VEGGIE has culminated in this monolithic battle! Eight of the freshest squids in town will duke it out for domination! Well, make that seven Squids and an OCTOGIRL!!!" Marie cheered. The lime green Inkling could hardly contain herself. "We take you now to our awesome squidster station for a spot on the scene!"

The screen flashed, and a dark Octoling girl with long black tentacles traced with teal appeared. Behind her was a sold-out crowd awaiting the final match of the Splatfest!

"Thanks, Callie and Marie! It's your most favorite Octogirl here! And hopefully, I'm not only your favorite because of my shapes. I mean I know that's why Pearl loves me, but that's beside the point!" Marina joked. She was never one to miss an opportunity to knock fanboys off their game. "Marina here with the four finalists of Team FRUIT! I believe they started in the Cantaloupe Division, correct?"

"We certainly did, Marina!" Ruby Rose, the crimson Inkling with the compound weapon told her.

"So I've been hearing you girls will be using custom Ink colors as well as custom weapons in this last bout. Give us any details you're willing to divulge, please." Marina asked politely, twirling one of her tentacles in one hand.

"Ruby Rose, the team leader! I will be using my hybrid Carbon Roller SplatSniper! I like to call him the KRIMSON KRILLAH!" She bragged, holding up her compound weapon that was the horrific fusion of a Roller and a Charger. "I'll be using Red ink, my usual go-to!"

"I'm Weiss! I've acquired an exquisite Inkbrush for today's bout! I call it the White Knight!" Weiss Schnee, the short Inkling with the long white tentacles tied into an off-center ponytail, mentioned next. "I'll be using my signature white ink today!"

"The name's Blake! I'll be using my way fresh Tenta Brella! Complete with black ink and Suction Bombs!" Blake Belladonna, an Octoling with night black tentacles, told her. Weiss and Ruby had felt it best not to mention their bombs, but Blake kept no secrets when it was Ink Battle time.

"You can call me Yang! I'll be wielding Dualie Squelchers today and firing yellow ink!" Yang Xiao Long, the final team member, told Marina. Yang had bright yellow tentacles that flowed down her body.

"Red, white, black and yellow! It's gonna be a regular rainbow of ink at the Piranha Pit! Of course, the map will show your team color, which will be orange. Team VEGGIE will be blue. Speaking of who, here's Pearl with an interview with the losing-- ER-HEM I MEAN OPPOSING team!" Marina scoffed and grinned. She and Callie were confident in the talents of Team FRUIT.

Marie and Pearl were sponsoring Team VEGGIE. The screens flashed again, cutting to an interview with Pearl's team.

Finally cutting back to the Squid Sisters, they left their viewers with their usual tagline. "Staaaay FRESH!!!"

\/\/\/\/\/

"Alright, team FRUIT! I know we've got the Popularity score in the bag, and we've smashed everyone that's come against us! Let's get out there and smash this thing to bits!" Ruby cheered, her teammates joining her in a team chant.

"We're gonna be so awesome, you guys!" Yang cheered. This Splatfest had been loads of fun. They would be sad when it was finally over, but there would always be next Splatfest. Plus, it looked like they were favorites to win it all, and a nice payday would be lovely.

The call came for them to make for the platform and wait to be warped into the Piranha Pit. The four of them stepped onto the glowing circle and awaited the signal. When it came they morphed into their squid (Octopus in Blake's case) forms and were instantly warped onto the battlefield.

The three Inklings and the Octoling appeared at a launch point at one side of the Piranha Pit, an enormous quarry next to the sea. There were conveyor belts sprawled around the pit. They were easy to ink and counted at Turf, though they were usually vulnerable at all times to opposing ink.

The opposition appeared at the other launch point, and the countdown began. Once the cry of 'GO!!' hit their ears, Team FRUIT was off! Ruby and Weiss swiftly covered the Turf with their ink, rolling and painting with ease.

Blake and Yang inked in the gaps their teammates had left. These two were more thorough despite Ruby and Weiss having more inky weapons. Yang periodically laid Ink Mines for opposing players to surprise. If they were stepped on or swam over they would explode and SPLAT the one that disturbed them.

And suddenly, there was a blue Inkling in Blake's sights. She armed her Tenta Brella and fired at the enemy Inkling girl, dousing her in black ink that slowed her down and injured her. Yang fired her Squelchers at the blue girl to get the job done, the squid becoming a 'ghost' briefly before she respawned. Her Slosher never stood a chance anyway.

Some boy with a Roller exploded in a blast of yellow ink. Poor unsuspecting Squid!

Meanwhile, all the opposing team members became visible to Blake and Yang. Ruby must have used her Special, the Echolocator!

Weiss was in a scrap against some girl with Sprinkler Bombs and a Splatling gun. Weiss fired precise and artful strokes, slowly turning the girl white. She pulled out a megaphone suddenly. Her Special was the Killer Wail! Weiss dipped into her ink in Squid form to escape the huge shockwave of sound and ink, emerging to SPLAT the opposition from behind!

Weiss smirked at the 'ghost' squid that floated away! "You call that a Killer Wail? More like a KILLER FAIL!!"

"Wow..." Weiss heard in her earpiece.

"WHAT, Octopus?!" She complained.

"That was actually a pretty solid burn, Weiss!" Blake replied. Weiss blushed. "Don't be cute about it! That girl is pissed off and swimming your way!" Blake warned. The blue Inkling in question hopped out of the ink and tried to fire at Weiss from her Splatling, but before Weiss realized it the foe was covered in red ink.

"STAY OFF MY SQUEEZE, YOU SLIMY LITTLE HIPSTER!!!" Ruby commanded, retracting the sniping implement from her hybrid weapon and slashing down with the enormous paint roller. Weiss stuck the blue Inkling with her 'White Knight' to finish the job, though Ruby had already gotten the SPLAT.

The game clock read '1:20' and the map up on the huge screen showed a generous covering of orange ink. The four of them swam forward and found more Turf to ink.

Blake ran into the girl with the Sloshing Machine and took her out with ease. "This octopus OCTO-ROCKS!!!" She heard Yang say in her earpiece.

"Thanks, Babes! ON YOUR LEFT!" She threw a bomb at Yang that stuck on her, and the foe's blast caused it to ignite and cover both Yang and himself in black ink.

"Splatted by my own team! How will I ever go on?" Yang cried, her overly dramatic fake swoon causing her to fall into the water. Her squid body dissolved as she touched the surface. These sea creatures can't swim!!!

TEE HEE

Some of the Turf around their launchpad had been inked over, so Yang inked it yellow again, her Special meter glimmering as she did. She fired her Inkstrike into a noticeable deposit of blue ink. This apparently SPLATTED the entire opposing team.

"Yang fires the inks that makes the squids fall down!!" Blake rambled in a goofy voice as she saw the quadruple SPLAT come across the screen.

"We're crushing it, you guys! We've got to be the freshest Squids in the city!" Yang cheered.

"I'm an Octoling, so I'm fresher than you all by default!" Blake injected.

"I'd dispute that, but Yang would probably SPLAT me..." Weiss mentioned. With twenty seconds left, three of the opposing team members rushed their Team, all getting themselves SPLATTED instantly. Team FRUIT was not playing around...

"Their fourth squid has a Charger! Watch your backs!" Blake mentioned as her Special became ready. She found the sniper on the map and locked onto him. Her Tenta Missiles flew at him, causing heavy damage but not SPLATTING him. Weiss and Ruby took a high point and covered one another as the sniper boy swam up and rushed Blake.

His team all Super Jumped to his side, and the four of them came at Blake.

Weiss's Bomb Rush took them all down before they could get a drip of ink on Blake! The last countdown came just as Team VEGGIE spawned at their checkpoint!

The map on the screen was all but covered in orange ink, although their multicolored ink looked much fresher.

"The winner of this year's Splatfest is most obviously TEAM FRUIT!!!!" Marina cheered. "Pay up, Pearl!"

"I'm all outta coin, Marina!" Pearl complained, turning out the empty pockets on her dress. "I guess I'll just do that thing you love so much when we get home..."

Marina rolled her eyes but begrudgingly accepted Pearl's offer. "All right... But you'd better do it real FRESH for me!" She winked at her bandmate and squeeze.

"You two are disgusting! No wonder they hardly let you on the screen at the same time!" Callie nicked on the other screen. "Well, there you have it, little Squids! Team FRUIT has won the big Splatfest, and Marie owes me a ton of Coins!" She bragged to their audience, Marie rolling her big green eyes.

Ruby, Weiss, Blake, and Yang took in the spotlight for as much as they could stand it. They made off to find some local eats after the whole thing was over, settling for a nice variety spot near the Booyah Base. Here they could get just about any filthy fast food they could ask for, and they filled up on the gross goodness that the wait staff offered them.

They left a ton of Coins for the crew when they finished their meal. Ruby and Weiss decided to crash at Yang and Blake's pad instead of making the long walk to their own place. They could still hardly believe they won the whole Splatfest!

And that's the end of my crazy crossover fanfiction, little squids! Until next time...

Don't get cooked! STAY OFF THE HOOK!

And, as always, STAY FRESH!!

\/\/\/\/\/ \/\/\/\/\/ \/\/\/\/\/

Day Twenty-Six: Crossover of Your Choice

RWBY X SPLATOON CROSSOVER!!

Someone made fanart of Ruby using a Splat Roller, and suddenly this monstrosity came to my mind.

Basically Team RWBY as Inklings (and Blake as an Octoling) playing the final match of a Splatfest. Featuring the Squid Sisters and Off the Hook, and plenty of Splatting shenanigans!

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thinktosee · 5 years

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“Once Upon a time in Singapore”

Meryll, Julie Anne and Denmark Dominguez at Singapore Changi Airport

By Julie Anne, Meryll and Denmark Dominguez

Life is unpredictable. Unexpected things really happened. To go abroad and tour was one of our biggest dreams and yet it really happened. At this point of time, we would like to share our wonderful experiences from the “Lion City” also known as Singapore.

Our arrival at Changi Airport

We can still remember that it was April 20, 2019 10:30 A.M when my aunt, Melet or Edna, sisters Julie Anne and Meryll, and I departed Philippines for Singapore. For my sisters and me, it was our 3rd time travelling up in the air, although this time, internationally. We were all so very excited. We flew from General Santos City, near our hometown in Mindanao and transferred at Ninoy Aquino International Airport (NAIA), Manila for Singapore. It was 7:00 P.M when we arrived in Singapore. While the plane was circling above, we could view how lovely the Whole City was. The lights were indeed an art up in the skies. Inside Changi International Airport, we witnessed how strict the immigration was. But we truly understand the situation because they were just doing their responsibility so our salute to the officers. Moving on, around 9.00 PM after we had recovered our luggages from the conveyor belt, we were met by David’s father who’s waiting for us. He gave us a warm welcome with a nice hug. David’s father brought us to their home where we will be staying during our visit to Singapore. It had been a long day. We were all tired and peacefully took our deep rest because tomorrow’s another day.

Spize Restaurant in Bedok

And then it all began April 21, 2019 Sunday. It was a day off for the workers there including the Filipino workers. It was a day where Filipinos meet their friends and spend quality time and enjoy each other’s company. Moving on, the three of us together with our aunt Melet went to Lucky Plaza, one of the famous places for Filipinos in Singapore, to meet our other aunt Emily, who also works in Singapore. As we continued walking, we can tell that everybody in Singapore really worked hard to make some money for living and even the old ones did really worked hard for it. As we observed, we can tell that all of the products in Singapore were expensive and that made us realized why everybody worked hard for living. Indeed, Singapore was an expensive place to live. In the evening, we enjoyed each other’s company as we took our dinner in Spize Restaurant in Bedok. We were all tired that day but it was a worthy day. David’s father always prayed at night so we asked if we can join. So we prayed to God, our love ones in heaven and for David after which, we took our rest.

At Pasir Ris Park

Relaxing by the condo pool

April 22, 2019 Monday we all went to Pasir Ris Park together with Dumbledog, Sara and David’s pet dog and walked among the shady trees and swamp. It was humid, making us sweat a lot which was good to our health. It was quite relaxing because the tall trees, beautiful flowers and the ambiance was good. Indeed, a nice place to meditate. As we continued walking, we saw many young children picking up litter alongside the sea-shore. Starting the little ones at the young age to help preserve Mother Nature was a good thing to do. Before we left the park, all of us took the quick run challenge and ran fast as we can. It was a good cardio-vascular exercise and we really enjoyed a lot. At home, we went swimming to cool ourselves. In the evening, we thanked God, our love ones in heaven and David for a successful and wonderful day through a solemn prayer and took our beautiful rest.

At Chijmes, a lovely former Convent school converted to fine dining restaurants

About to board the “Duck”

The Marina Bay Sands with the ArtScience Museum in foreground

Aboard the “Duck”

April 23, 2019 Tuesday we’ve decided to go and explore the true beauty of Singapore. The three of us together with our aunt Melet walked around the streets of Singapore and were amazed by the tall and beautiful buildings. We took a lot of photos for remembrance. What a beautiful and wonderful city it was. As what I’ve said a while ago, unexpected things really happen. David’s father bought four tickets from Duck Tours. There we’ve rode and experienced the amphibious vehicle that can travel both water and land brought to us by Duck Tours. During the tour, we saw spectacular views and were amazed by the exquisite infrastructures of Singapore. All of us were astonished by the appearance of Marina Bay Sands Hotel. It was like a boat up in the sky with two buildings underneath. We were stunned by many views some of those were Gardens by the Bay, Science Art Museum and many more. It was really an awesome experience. And we went home with an overflowing happiness that day. At night, we shared our precious experiences to God, love ones in heaven, David, David’s father and our aunt thought of wonderful prayers. Tomorrow’s another day so we took our rest with a smile

“Universal Studios, Singapore Escapade”

Aboard the cable car to Sentosa Island

April 24, 2019 Wednesday. Life was really full of surprises. In the morning we all went to Vivo City Mall to ride a Sky cable car. As we rode the sky cable car, we were thunderstruck by the view up in the air. It was truly a magnificent moment. From Vivo City Mall, the cable car brought us to Sentosa Island and to one of the famous amusement parks in Singapore, the “Universal Studios”. Along the way, we’ve decided to have a walk and called it “Sentosa island hiking”. As we walked around, the noise created by bugs were everywhere. We sweated a lot from the humidity, but when we’ve arrived at Universal Studios, we were all charged up when we saw the beautiful place. There’s a lot of people walking around and taking their selfies and groupies so we’ve decided to take many photos before going to have our lunch.

After lunch, the magical moment happened. We all entered Universal Studios with full of excitement wondering what will be the attractions we will encounter inside. “This is it!” We all said with full of happiness. At the very beginning of the journey, we saw many familiar mascots who are characters in Walt Disney and Universal movies. We were entertained by different cartoon characters and laughed a lot with them as we took many photos. First stop was inside Elmo Street, one of David’s favorite Muppet characters. There, we all had a good time like we all went back being a child. Second stop was all about knowing how the directors create all kinds of special effects in their movies. So now we knew how movies being made and laughed with each other because we thought all movies were made in a real situation.

Julie Anne and Friends

Third stop was inside the Transformers roller coaster. The three of us went inside and didn’t expect that it was a bumpy ride so we all shout like crazy and laughed with each other. The most interesting part of the journey is that facing and conquering the two breath taking rides inside Universal Studio. Going up slowly, sudden down and twisting rides we all made it and conquered our fears. We also saw many replicas of dinosaurs from the movie Jurassic park. We also encountered mummies as we entered the Egyptians section they are not scary at all well of course we’ve conquered our fears now thanks to the twisters rides (chuckles). And then we went to the Kingdom of Far Far Away from the movie Shrek. There, we were entertained by a laughable show brought to us by Donkey. All of us laughed which made our journey much happier. Thanks to Donkey. Moving on, our last stop was Madagascar. We tried the carousel and boat ride, which was awesome.

Towards the end of our visit and just before closing time, we went to the souvenirs shop and bought something that will always remind us all the positive, wonderful and exquisite experiences we’ve been through inside Universal Studios. And we went back home with full of joy, happiness and unforgettable memories in our minds and hearts. At night, we were happy sharing those happy moments to God, love ones in heaven and to David and thanked them for making our journey successful through a solemn prayer. We took our rest by giving a warm hug with each other and bid our goodnights.

East Coast Park

April 25, 2019 Thursday was more on cardio vascular exercises. That day we went to East Cost Park to have some fun by renting bikes and rode it. Along the way, we can see more people who were busy with their physical fitness activities such as jogging and biking and couples who are sweet with each other. We did biking for at least two hours. So, when we were finished, everything was covered by the dark well of course it’s night already. Our attention were being magnetized by art in the sea. Actually, we thought it was a series of buildings floating in the sea but they were ships lighted in the night. The lights produced by many ships in the sea really create an astonishing view and can catch attentions. We went back home with another fascinating experience again and thanked God, our love ones in heaven and David for a very satisfying day through a solemn prayer.

Singapore Botanical Gardens

April 28, 2019 Sunday was all about going green. That day we all went to Botanic Gardens Singapore. David’s father told us that it was more than a hundred years old garden created by the British. We can tell that it was really old because of its big trees scattered all around the area. There, we saw lots of species of flowers. We were even shocked by a monitor lizard and big Fishes inside the pond of the Gardens. The size of the fishes was more like bigger than a newborn baby. Indeed it was a healthy garden. It was a Sunday evening and there was a jazz performance at the amphitheatre within the grounds. Moving on, there’s a lot of awesome views inside the garden so we took many photos that will serve as a remembrance from a historical place like that.

Meryll, aunts Emily and Edna and Julie Anne

Denmark with an old, old friend at the Gardens

April 29, 2019 Monday. We all got wet (chuckles) just kidding. We all went to the Wild Wild Wet Amusement Resort in Pasir Ris. As we entered the resort, we were all amazed by the beauty of resort and thunderstruck by its tall, long and very challenging water slides. We tried the slides and the thrill was actually there.

Trying all the slides gave us back the same feeling way back from Universal Studio Rides experience. Well of course we all got thrilled and shout like crazy during the slides. The resort has a wave pool so we tried it. We laughed with each other because as the wave hit us, our body moved like we were dancing for a bit.

We really enjoyed that experience. At night, we shared that precious experience as we prayed to thank God, our love ones in heaven and David for a very satisfying and successful day.

April 30, 2019 Tuesday. We all got wild (chuckles). We all went to Singapore Zoo and became friends with the wildlife. The three of us together with our aunt Melet went inside the Zoo. Along the way, we saw many animals for a very first time like Zebra, Giraffe, Orang Utan , Leopard, Chimpanzee, Rhinos, and many more. We’ve been also entertained by a wildlife show inside the Zoo. It was a very fun show and all of us enjoyed it a lot. During the show, we can tell that all animals they have shown were well adapted and trained. It was our first time also to see a gigantic python. We’ve learned many things inside the Zoo. Some of those were keeping the forest green to make the wildlife healthy. Indeed, if we all do that we can preserve the ecological balance because here in Earth, humans were not just alone so we need to take care the gifts that the creator gave to us. Go green and keep the animals healthy.

At Marina Bay

May 01, 2019 Wednesday. That day was the celebration of Labor Day. We’ve celebrated the Labor Day in Marina Bay and went to Gardens by the Bay of our last Gala (Filipino term for explore). Our aunt Emily and one of our aunts’ close friends, Leila joined our last gala. That time, the weather was so hot so it made us sweat a lot. We did walking and walking until we’ve reached our destination and relieved our exhausted feet as we were entertained by the exquisite views. We took a lot of photos which will serve as our remembrance. Indeed, Lion City has its unique beauty.

Julie Anne

May 03, 2019 Friday. They said every beginning has its ending and every hi has its goodbye. It was our last day staying in Singapore. David’s Father brought us to one of the famous restaurants in Singapore the Marriot Cafe in Marriot Hotel at the junction of Scotts and Orchard Roads. There we experienced an eat all you can and a very classy dining. All of the foods were so delicious and very satisfying to eat. Hours left staying in Singapore was so memorable as we enjoyed each other’s company. That day we all laughed and laughed as we all sing different nursery rhymes brought to us by David’s father and we were all so happy.

Mariott Cafe

In this journey to Singapore, we learned a lot. One thing was for sure, nothing was impossible. To all the people out there, continue to dream big because every day we continue to live, we learned something new. Continue chasing your goals and objectives in life with full of determination and perseverance. If you have experienced being down, take that as an inspiration and make that experience to motivate you more. Indeed, experience was our best teacher. For the three of us, we will continue to take the responsibility and put more actions to achieve our goals in life.

The iconic Merlion at the bayfront. Image by Pixabay

Our heartfelt gratitude to our almighty God for making all of this possible by making Family Singh and my Aunt Melet as your instruments to go beyond our comfort zone and explore Singapore. For David, thank you for watching over us during our stay in your home which gave us a very well accommodation. To David’s sister, Sara and Father MARAMING SALAMAT PO may God Bless you and your family always. MABUHAY SINGAPORE!

At Changi Airport about to leave for home

From - Julie Anne, Meryll and Denmark Dominguez May 11, 2019

Denmark is an accredited teacher, while Julie Anne majors in Business Administration at Sultan Kudarat State University. Meryll graduated last month from senior high school and plans to enroll in Notre Dame University in her hometown of Tacurong on the Philippine island of Mindanao.

It was a great pleasure and privilege to have been a host to these fine, young relatives of Edna’s. From this visit, I am reminded of the teachings of the ancient Greek sage, Socrates. He taught a method of inquiry which shows causation or linkages to life and to our actions. While this method is most popularly applied in the criminal justice system, it is my belief that Socrates’ legacy goes much further than this. He showed that everything is linked in this world. And so it is with Edna and her family in the Philippines, to Sara, David and me.

- David’s father

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724towingserviceomaha-blog · 5 years

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spurgo · 7 years

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Dreams

Driving through "Mexico", past endless miles of rusting industrial zones, cloned fuel tanks lining the roads like a Giger painting...huge rusting pipes sticking out of the ground in the middle of farmland, bent or snapped off, lime green grass growing over them. Up ahead a row of decaying factory buildings...one which is already leaning dangerously over the road suddenly falls , burying a few cars. Our driver doesn't even flinch, just accelerates and weaves around the flying bricks. I ask what all this was and the front passenger says "petrol". I remember reading that Mexico had just signed away the last of their industry to the USA. So this is the result. As we near our destination, the roads deteriorate further and we are obliged to steer onto the skeletal remains of the highway: parallel curved girders with grooves big enough for car tyres to fit, like a giant roller-coaster. I think they are kidding and feel a knot in my stomach. Use of brakes is forbidden, you'll either crash into the car behind or fly off on a corner, so everyone uses the natural speed which gravity and momentum offer...in other words scarily fast. Amazed that we make it, we split up and I find myself looking at the same junk shops as in several other dreams, still with the same indeterminate electronic junk. Hendrik Hegray is there and hates street art so much that he has decided to make his own, and so many of the sides of underground trains and the station walls are covered with his messy intimate drawings done in black marker on white paint which he has splashed over anything vaguely hip-hop/L.A. gang style. Sometimes it seems he ran out of white paint so we see improvised sheets of white paper pinned or taped onto the sides of the trains. Hendrik showed me a way to cling, spiderman-like, onto the side of the train between compartments in order to access narrow parts of the tunnel system, and out of curiosity I find myself in another train compartment somewhere near the end of the line, which is half full of womens handbags, some still containing packs of cigarettes or makeup, the remains after bag-snatchers have hastily ran off with whatever they can. I see one which I'm sure belonged to a friend, and reject the idea of taking it thinking she might imagine I was the thief.

Rented a house in some unnamed town which had become a Mad Max -style junkyard ran by Jase Deepkiss 720, who was apparently the man to ask before you took anything lying around on the street (bike parts, car engines, bits of guitars etc). Crowds in the middle of the road were betting money on some kind of mechanical horse racing screened on a pile of old tvs. Inside the empty house the "landlord" was trying to persuade me to adopt one of the many stray cats outside. I asked if cats were allowed in the house. "Unfortunately not", he said, while stacking up all the paperwork involved. Deciding that all this bureaucracy looked more like a representation of the landlord's precarious mental state I declined, and became nostalgic about all the cats I had known in my life, reminiscing about one which had undergone brain surgery and an eye operation. He surprised me by reacting with horror: "well I hope you got the video evidence; they are usually drunk when they do that!".

Movie night in the Vietnamese restaurant, film lists were in a phonebook-sized books on each table like in karaoke bars, and we picked out a cheezy-looking 'sell-through' effort in the "BAT VOMIT" series, the first film rolling wth the title sequence half finished as was usual with such quickly made flicks. The first scene was a nighttime jungle sequence of a truck transporting midget soldiers in tiny tanks, grumpy little men resembling squished metal plated turtles, their boss a seriously pissed off looking dude whose face was a mass of scrotum tissue frowns with machine-gun stems sticking out between the hairy folds of flesh, which continuously sprayed bullets at the enemy as they attacked the bridge. As the end credits rolled the restaurant's proprietor told us cryptically that it had been a good choice of film, and I agreed, taking this as a signal to leave until a friend decided we were going to eat one last thing: a snack made in oily cardboard containers which were stored (following some old tradition) on the backs of the exit doors, consisting of yellow/green oil, lemon grass, and seafood which he scooped into bowls. The famous taste was hard to replicate because the toxic conditions of the factory and ill health of the workers who produced the delicacy were responsible for it's unique flavour.

In this dream I was a close friend of Lars Ulrich (Metallica), who I was trying to find at some stupid-looking rock festival. A bouncer handed me the sandpaper part of a matchbox which had ANDY written in Lars' retarded scrawl; this was supposed to be my backstage pass. Everywhere was a total mess, super complicated to find the Metallica room, and no real idea why I had to. Leaving the modified toys I was carrying to show to my pal Lars sticking out of the bag to try to make it easier to spot, I threw it onto a giant conveyor belt which was heaped with Metallica fan's clothing, bags etc. Seeing that my gear would get lost immediately, I ran up to some security types, explaining that I was staying near the upturned car-henge sculpture, and was directed into a shop which sold energy drinks called things like GUZZLE and GOFORIT. I noticed a display of badly-molded and half-melted skull/pirateship/heidi architectural model toys, which played back crunchy, near-unintelligible low bit-rate samples of a phony Vincent Price reading boring horror and mystery stories, some of them playing backwards, batteries dying, with faded glow-in-the-dark stickers. During all this chaos I was reading emails from a friend who was worried about the part of a piano concert he was supposed to perform which required quickly moving the piano up 8 flights of stairs in order to play a solo. I asked why they couldn't just have another piano up there, and he angrily replied that this was impossible because everyone would know it wasn't the same piano. This reminded me that we were supposed to be finishing a Varese-like speaker installation for a rectangular monument in New York City, which the media were trying to sell as the new Statue of Liberty or Grand Canyon. The job was for Elizabeth Taylor, who was another friend of ours.

We were invited to check out a new "night club". The annoying club owner proudly showed us their new decor: a few rooms decorated with cheap plastic flowers and other crap. We were unimpressed until she announced "AND NOW, for the REAL attraction!!!", opened some swing doors through which floated a group of 'dolphins' (as they were referred to) which flapped around in mid-air, licking everyones faces in what was supposed to be a "cute" kind of "family" experience, but honestly it was pretty gross, making me think of the "trout farm" scene in Existenz. Some of these malnourished creatures resembled peeled bananas that has started to go brown, and some of the baby ones started getting into the hole in the sink. It was really difficult to get them all out of the sink and back through the door, and I felt that this club owner lady was very irresponsible.

My job was to expose an evil Scientology cult based in Salt Lake City. 2 Scientology girls were ticket sellers for a run-down cinema showing scratchy cult promo films and selling "pork and egg", which one of them told me was actually slices of road tar and shaving cream dyed yellow, and that the real pork was in Utah.

By Andy Bolus

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aoibaratraveler · 4 years

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A Look Back At My Time in Japan! Chapter 4

Third Month on Exchange: June

June is pretty much the rainy month of Japan and boy was this month wet! I still cycled to school every day or walked because I’m a crazy girl. There was just something so freeing about cycling all the time with my music in and taking in all the scenery even if it was pouring everywhere. There were times when I’d just park up halfway at Sumiyoshi though and take the university free bus from there. June also seemed to be the time when the people in the city started preparing for Nagasaki Kunchi, the city’s most famous festival that takes place every year in October. It was super cool catching a glimpse of the men practicing their march for the festival every evening on my bike since it was on my route. The first week was pretty standard from what I can recall, just university, teaching at my part-time job, home, and repeat for the most part. I also hung out a lot with my friend B from my part-time job. She showed me around Megane Bashi (an area with a bridge that looks like spectacles) and Shindaiku machi.

Now, I was super stoked for June because it meant that I’d be meeting up with my friend L and we’d get to spend the weekend in Osaka and go to Universal Studios! On the 9th, I journeyed to Nagasaki Station to try and find the highway bus that I had booked to take me to Osaka but it’s a good thing I got there like an hour early because I was scrambling up until the last minute to find this damn bus. I had no idea that the bus station and train station were in different locations. I know that sounds kinda dumb but I really thought that my bus would be taking off at or near the train station. In the end, the bus station wasn’t that far from where I was but I literally almost missed it. It was an overnight bus so I packed some snacks because I was planning to get off at the last stop: 9 hours later at Universal City station right outside of Universal Studios. The bus was pretty roomy and not too bad. It took me a while to find something affordable since traveling in Japan can be pretty expensive and I had to search for the bus online in Japanese but it was worth it. It had several pet stops so that people could use nice toilets, had wifi and retractable seats and cost the equivalent of about $64. A little pricey but it was ok because I found an even cheaper way back with Peach Airlines for about $20. So all in all not bad for a 4 day trip to both Osaka and Kyoto. Oh and of course my accommodation was free because Couchsurfing in Japan is the best. Oh, right forgot to mention that I was also fasting this month so I would be spending the day on rides and walking around USJ while fasting which I was a tad worried about at first but actually wasn’t too bad since the sun in Japan was going down every day at around 6:30 pm (Summer days in Canada are much longer). Anyway, my bus arrived bright and early the next day at Universal Studios and about half an hour before I was meant to meet up with L so I hung around the area for a bit until she got there and we proceeded to line up in the already growing line. I should add that it was a Friday morning and I didn’t have any class that day but it was still a normal day so I don't know why there were so many people; it wasn’t crazy busy, but we were still queuing for about 30 minutes. By the time we got in it was around 8 am and I couldn’t wait to go on every ride. We began by heading on over to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter being that we are both super big HP fans and needed to get that out of our systems first. We bolted on over to the Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey ride and it was amazing! It was so cool but unfortunately, we couldn’t take pictures and I wish it lasted longer. Afterward, we went to the gift shop and strolled around Hogsmeade. L bought herself a pretty impressive lifesize marauder's map and I got a couple of really nice keyrings. Next, we saw a live performance of actors playing Hogwarts characters but what made it more interesting was that half the characters were played by American or British actors and the other half were played by Japanese actors with the American/British saying their lines in English and the Japanese in Japanese. Upon leaving Hogsmeade we made our way around the rest of the park and managed to try out every ride. We also saw two musical performances, a bunch of life-size minions and some titan heads from Attack on Titan that were on exhibit by Cool Japan. Actually, with about 2 hours before we were meant to leave we had tried every ride but one: The Flying Dinosaur. Honestly, I was making so many excuses not to line up because I’m really not good with thrilling roller coasters - like this one where you are thrown up and down with your limbs hanging and at one point completely upside down. We also were meant to meet our Couchsurfing host at around 4 pm (yes, we had already spent about 6 hours there so far) and the line itself was about 2 hours long but L insisted and so we ended up doing it. I was terrified and screaming the entire time with my eyes closed--which I do regret. At the end of it though it wasn’t so bad and I did feel like I could do it again but alas it was time to go.

Our Couchsurfing host owned an electronics shop and asked us to meet him there. He was a very eccentric guy who loved hosting several people at a time, we were lucky though that we were the only two that had requested to stay at the time. He was funny and really only seemed to be interested in hosting girls since he claims they are cleaner. He was really insistent on adding me to Facebook though which I was a little against since I had just met him but luckily I had the excuse that I had just recently taken up the bf on the challenge of deactivating my FB for a month and just challenging myself to be completely off social media. Anyway, after he closed up shop he decided to take us out to a conveyor belt sushi place where he proceeded to throw a hundred questions at me, it seemed to be his goal to know my life story by the end of dinner. I mean, I was fine with it but it was certainly an experience. I’m glad he was friendly though at least and it wasn’t such a bad place to stay, we did have our own semi-private room as well.

The next day we walked around the town where the host lived and made our way over to the Osaka Aquarium Kaiyukan, the world’s largest aquarium. We saw so many species of marine animals and even capybaras, it was awesome. We spent a few good hours there and managed to see every animal and take lots of really cool photos. We then made our way to the giant Ferris wheel near the aquarium and chilled on that for a bit. It was my first time on a Ferris wheel and boy are they slow, we did get a nice view of the harbour though. We ended off the day by grabbing some food in Dotonburi and getting the second-best melon pan ice cream in the world. Not a bad two days in Osaka. The next day I parted ways with L at Osaka station since she had to go back to Tokyo, but I decided to spend an extra day in the region and go to Kyoto to meet up with my Japanese friend who was studying there and agreed to host me for a night and show me around Arashiyama and the monkey park. I love Kyoto, I love Osaka too but I especially adore the aesthetic of the Arashiyama area and on a not too busy day. It really feels like you’ve been transported to ancient Japan. Also, yatsuhashi, the mochi-like sweet of the area, are delicious. It was great catching up with my friend and even better having a semi-quiet day in such a popular tourist area.

The next day, I said goodbye to my friend and made my way to Osaka International airport, unfortunately for me though and as was the trend with big trips like this, I messed up. I fell asleep on the train to the airport and missed my stop. I woke up like half an hour later, all groggy and panicked and jumped off the train at a pretty deserted stop that seemed to be going under renovation. I remember running up to the nearest worker and just not being able to really say words. All I could muster was the world airport in Japanese and from my panicked expression, it seemed the station worker knew exactly what I wanted and pointed me in the right direction. You can rest assured that I did manage to make it to my plane on time, I did realize when I got to the airport I had actually forgotten my passport in Nagasaki and I was facepalming so hard at that point but fortunately for me, residents in Japan with a resident card don’t need a passport to fly within the country so mini heart attack aside, I was able to safely make my way back to Nagasaki.

It was business as usual again when I got back to Nagasaki for the next couple of weeks until the storm hit. I was hanging out late at the university as I was on most days that month since I was practicing for the Nagasaki dance festival, being that I was in the team to represent our school. The next thing I knew it became dark and started to rain. I tried to ride my bike back home as fast as I could and put my already finicky cellphone into my pants pocket without thinking but the storm was so strong and was raining so hard it felt like the ocean was coming out of the sky. By the time I got back home, about 40 minutes later, I was soaked through. It was a hot day as well so obviously, I had the window in my room open but when I got back my futon and blankets were drenched and there was just a huge puddle. I cleaned everything up and then got out my phone only to see that that too, was completely soaked through and would no longer turn on. I was freaking out. I had never gotten my phone wet until then and I didn’t know what to do. I was also mainly worried about how I’d be able to reply to the bf since him and I were sending messages to each other every day.

The next day, I searched up all sorts of ways to get my phone to work and obviously there was the rice thing but I didn’t want to use my homestay family’s rice for that so I saw that some people put their phone in the freezer and that helped fix it so I tried that but no dice. In my panic and frustration thinking that I would no longer have a phone for the rest of my time in Japan, I bought a new phone on eBay for about $50. The day after that though I did see some really cheap rice on sale at the market and decided to give that a try as well and what do you know? My phone worked after a day of being submerged in the rice. So I certainly felt dumb for buying a new phone but at least I had a backup.

Boy Drama Part Two:

By the start of June and through the first week, Y and I were meeting up pretty much every night and we were clearly into each other. I would either head on over to Starbucks and wait for his shift to end or he would meet up with me when I was done working at my part-time job at the English school. There wasn’t a day that he wouldn’t instigate a conversation with me on the LINE app. This is why I found it particularly strange when one day he was completely silent and didn’t message me at all. I tried to think nothing of it and just figured he was busy but it did feel weird for him to not even send me a good morning message. The next day, however, he apologised profusely for not saying anything and summed it up to just having had a fever which I thought was totally understandable. To make it up to me he even suggested taking me for a drive somewhere. He picked me up in the evening when I was already home and studying and drove me to this high up park that had the most spectacular viewpoint of the starry sky. I’m still not quite sure where it was since I never went back and he never told me. It was again all so romantic and was in line with his usual bravado of whisking me off my feet.

Things were as usual for the next couple of days until the day I went to Osaka with L. Again, he went radio silent. Not a peep and this lasted for the whole 4ish days that I was in Osaka and Kyoto. I had no idea what was going on but I was trying to play it cool and not ask him what was up because I’m sure he was busy---was what I thought. A couple of days after returning to Nagasaki though, I thought enough was enough and it was time that I stop this silly game that he seemed to be playing so I messaged him and asked if he had work that day and said that I would stop by. He responded and said he’d wait for me.

This is where it takes a turn. I went to Starbucks after finishing my classes at university with my friend LY and we sat there and chatted for a while and then when she left, I was approached by someone else for a chat before I finally got to studying. Y and I hadn’t made any plans to walk home together or anything but I just assumed we would so I stayed there until close. The whole time that I was there though I could tell that he would look over in my direction but he never acknowledged me or came to say hello. I, again, just summed it up to him being busy. At around 8:30/9 I decided to just pack up and leave since he didn’t seem to want to talk but then I got a message from him that said if I wait outside then he’ll meet me and we can walk home together so I did just that. A couple of minutes later I was approached by a girl who seemed to be just a few years younger than me. She asked me if I was waiting for Y and I said I was. She then said that she would like me to stop--”やめてほしい” (yametehoshii or I want you to stop) a phrase she used repeatedly for the next several minutes. She said that she was his girlfriend and that they had been dating for the past three years and I said no, there’s no way because he told me he was single (which was true, we had confirmed with each other that we were both single when we first began chatting, no way was I going to chase after a guy in a relationship). She then clicked her tongue and began verbally attacking me. She said she knows I like him and that she had read all of our messages to each other and she wants me to stop talking to him, being friends with him, coming to Starbucks to study and to delete his LINE ID. I was of course in a lot of shock because this just didn’t seem real, had I entered some kind of soap opera reality without realising it? I’d never been in this type of situation before. I told her that I didn’t like him (lie), that I wasn’t going to stop talking to him and that this is all just crazy. She wouldn’t have it. She began interrogating me and wanted to know everything about me down to my address and university. I didn’t tell her. I told her that I didn’t want any trouble and that I just wanted to go home and have some dinner (I had been fasting). She snapped at me and called me a liar because she knew I was planning to have dinner with Y (first of all we had never actually eaten together and, no, I was not planning to have dinner with him). This was all happening while he was still in the shop, working and watching everything unfold. She began to get a couple of calls. When she finally answered I could tell that he was calling her and was actually asking her to leave but she wouldn’t have it. I told her that I didn’t care anymore and I just wanted to go home and she refused and said that we were going to wait for him together. There were a few moments of silence before she finally bent close to me and whispered that I should really give up on him because she was carrying his child…...this little 19-year-old girl was really trying to pull this soap opera type crap on me...obviously I didn’t believe her and immediately blurted out “うそつき!” (usotsuki! liar!). After what seemed like hours, Y finally came out of the store and said nothing more than “ああ、疲れた” (aa, tsukareta/ahh, I’m tired). I was so uncomfortable. What do you even do in this situation? Finally, all I could think of to say was “じゃあ帰る” (jaa, kaeru/ ok, I’m going home). A very anticlimactic end, I know but I was dumbfounded as to what to do next. They clearly didn’t mind because as soon as I said that they turned in one direction and I turned in the other.

I was a mixture of both laughing and crying on my bike ride back home. Guess I was truly in shock. What even just happened, right? When I got back, I quickly sent him a message asking for an explanation but nothing. A few days later was when my phone drowned in my pocket. Que where it all went downhill with the crazy receptionist, M, from my part-time job. I won’t go too much into detail about her because honestly, she’s irrelevant. She was a foreigner obsessed Japanese woman who was in her late twenties (?) and was also a pathological liar. Did I mention she had crazy eyes? Anyway, she was also completely obsessed with my friend B, and even me for a while up until I borrowed her phone. The day after I damaged my phone, I was panicking for all sorts of reasons. I had thought up a temporary remedy to remaining in contact with the bf but LINE was the only way I was in contact with Y and I was worried that he had replied to me while my phone had been down. I asked to borrow M’s phone to sign into my LINE on her phone, well she also partially offered. We both hadn’t realized that if you sign out of your LINE account on your phone to sign into another one then you completely lose your own account with all of your contacts which is what happened to her. Oh boy, her being upset was an understatement. It was an honest mistake and I apologized numerous times but I had wronged her and she never forgave me and hardly spoke to me again after that. It’s cool though. Oh, and Y never did reply to me. I never heard from him again.

#japantravel #lifeabroad #studentexchange #studyAbroad #shoestringtravel #livingonabudget #stormy #boydrama #workdrama #studyabroadmemories #crazylife #is this the real life

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natatorta-blog · 6 years

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A cake with a history

I love classic cakes! Not only for timelessness, unique look or classic recipes. They're so tasty! The classic cakes have absolutely marvelous combination of ingredients. In fact you can use different cream, stuffing or substitute some components for the ones you like. But in most cases you won't get the same texture and symphony of taste. Surprisingly, the classic recipes are not complicated and the ingredients are available for everyone. So, if you choose what cake to make at the beginning, try the one of those. The classic cakes are simple, tasty and look gorgeous even with minimal decorations. As for me, my very first cake was "Napoleon". If you haven't tasted it yet, you definitely should. It's creamy, soft and tender texture and delicate sweetness is absolutely addictive. As the simplicity and speed of baking process. And the cake's made by your own hands is two times tastier, of course. I do suggest it as a good one for beginning baking and have a great start. The cake is almost no-fail, and you can develop some basic skills. First, some history. As the name says, the "Napoleon" has strong connection with a famous French emperor. But the cake is not French, it belongs to Russian baking goods. If you look for the origin of "Napoleon" you will find some legends but no reliable information. And instead of one classic recipe you'll conquer with hundreds of different modifications. This is because the cake is very popular in Russian and other countries of former USSR. And regarding its simplicity it became the one of domestic cakes everyone can make for family holiday without big effort or time wasted. And every housewife there has her own recipe passing between generations. And this is good! You can choose between lots of different recipes for the one you'll like and use without being scared you won't get the real result. When I was deciding the one for my own "Napoleon", I tried to find a simplest one. That time I didn't know how to make a pastry or whip eggs in a right way yet. Actually this recipe does not require any whipping at all, except for the custard. The very classic "Napoleon" of course, requires a real puff-pastry. But that time I didn't know how to make my own one. So I went with a "false-puff pastry" and the result was great! You probably know that the main idea of puff-pastry is the dough rolled with a butter between two layers. They are additionally folded many times like a towel, and the butter appears between each pair of them. While baking in the oven the butter then melts and disappears, soaking the layers and leaves the free space in between. It fills with tender custard soon and you have this incredible taste. The false-puff pastry dough can be made much more simpler and quicker but the result is really great! The main idea leaves: the butter and the dough. The butter should be cold. Butter 400 g (cold!) Eggs 2 Water cold 150 ml Flour sieved 650 g Cognac 3 tbsp Vinegar 9% or balsamic 1 tbsp Dash of salt As about time, you'll need to spend approximately 2 to 3 hours on this step, but at the beginning you'll have two long breaks:). All you need for this step is a glass, a table spoon, a knife (big and heavy one is better), a roller and a baking sheet with a paper. And a clean dry table or countertop to work on. First of all you should decide about the shape and the size of the cake. It will define the number of layers you get and also the high of the cake. The very classic "Napoleon" is rectangular, also its simpler. But I prefer to make it round and high. The recipe produces approximately 15-16 round shape layers or "cakes" with 24 cm in diameter. So, let's bake! 1. First of all you need to create a cold environment in the kitchen and keep all ingredients cooled. It's very important because we need butter to survive till the baking in the oven. Let's make a filling for dough. Put the two whole eggs in a glass and mix them a bit with a spoon. You don't need to whip them well, just shake it up. Then add cognac and vinegar you have (I like to use balsamic) and watch the foaming. (The used method will serve as a baking powder to lift up the dough in the oven). Add the cold water to the edge of glass and slightly mix it again. Done. 2. Now let's make the "false-puff pastry"! The one of the first I found an advice for sieving the flour before any baking. It really works! The flour smashed and collapsed in a bag gets the air bubbles and becomes light and also dissolves quicker and spreads in a dough more effective. Also, I try to use unbleached flour any time I could, as it's healthier and it gives goods a nice color. So, sieve the flour right on the clean, dry countertop as a hill. Take the butter from the fridge (it will be 2 packs) and cut it right on the top of the flour hill. Cover it with some flour. And continue to do so piece to piece, until you get something like "grits". Don't worry about some bigger pieces - the pastry will be lighter and airy. The main idea is: the flour will help to separate the butter you cut, and in a oven, while melting, it will leave a free space in a dough. The method sounds like a shortbread, but some differences will make it solid, thin and velvet instead of crumbly. So, you have a hill of "grits" on your countertop. Now, you need to make it wider and to create a small hole on the top of it. In this hole it's needed to pour the egg mixture in. But do it slowly and little by little! Otherwise the liquid will leak and flow everywhere! Instead do it slowly and start mixing the dough by fingers right in this "crater". Soon, the liquid will soak in and you'll be able to add a little more. Continue to do so, grabbing the "grits" from the sides and put it inside. After a while you'll have a ball of very soft, plastic dough that you need to knead a little more till uniform texture. It will be warm-yellow color with some light pieces of butter in it. It's almost done, you just need to cool it down. Cover with a film completely (otherwise it gets a crust from the air) and put it on a plate in a fridge for an hour. Now you can have a long break! After an hour, take the dough. It should be solid and rather firm. Knead it a bit and then divide on equal pieces (14-16 and more means better) and roll each in a small ball. Cover them by a separate pieces of film and return to fridge for additional 30 minutes. Meanwhile preheat the oven till 400 F. And prepare all you need: the cutting board, the roller, the baking paper and the baking sheets. After you make a dough you'll be like on conveyor line:) It's better to have at least two shapes or sheets to work with. Personally I found that the best cakes are baked on the round, full of holes, metal plate for pizza. So if you have the same, don't be afraid to use it! If you want to make a round shape cake (as I did), you'll need a dinner plate in the same size you want a cake. Cover the cutting board with a baking paper and sieve some flour on it and on the roller. Then each small ball you get from fridge one by one, should be rolled into a flat disk near the size you want a cake or, better, slightly bigger. Cover it with a plate and cut around the contour. Do not remove this edges, instead let them bake. Carefully transfer the baking paper with the cake on the baking sheet. The important thing to do is to pierce the cake with a fork everywhere - it will help reduce the bubbles and keep the cake straight flat. Bake it approximately 14-16 minutes waiting for golden-brown color on edges and crispy structure. Remove it from the oven and let it cool in a quiet place. While baking the first one, you'll have time to make another one.

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arievlex · 6 years

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Sample of EINSTEIN’S CONVEYOR BELT

A Science Fiction Short Story by John Adams Theibert Jr

Dr. Mierriden walked up to a clear glass podium wearing an orange spacesuit without his helmet. NASA’s trademark symbol was etched on the front plate of the podium. A large cluster of microphones stuck out from the center of the podium. “It’s the beginning of a new dawn of space exploration,” that’s what Dr. Mierriden said as he prepared to unveil the first interstellar spacecraft ever designed.

Huge, fifty-foot high and three-hundred foot long, blue curtains, with yellow stars and galactic disks covering them, wrapped around the spacecraft behind the stage where Dr. Mierriden was giving his speech. A twenty-foot wide forty-foot tall navy-blue tarp, also behind Dr. Mierriden, had NASA’s trademark on it and below that a symbol for the spacecraft, which was that of a golden conveyor belt, starting with the first roller, and heading off in a curving line into a starry expanse. “This is the culmination of many years of research and development and is based on the near-miraculous finding of the now world-famous Einstein Conveyor Belt Papers.

“The irony of the pages of Albert Einstein’s lost theory was that they were found on a mysterious play he had written. The play was found thirty years ago in a yard sale in Pattonsburg, Missouri population 225. It was purchased by retired Nuclear Physicist Dr. Marten D Haginstein for fifty cents. It was titled ‘A Pathway I Found One Day’ by E. A. Steinbert. Hidden in the play were clues to its contents, encrypted in its prose, and the name of the true author, Albert Einstein, encoded in the pseudonym.

“Dr. Haginstein eventually decrypted the theory and gave the world a great hope for future space exploration. Apparently, in the play, Einstein also gave a reason for withholding the theory until as it states: ‘Natural forces line up to allow the discovery of the “Pathway” for the key to its gate is in its location.’”

Dr. Mierriden continued his speech, which eventually ended thirty minutes later. Dr. Mierriden was lucky enough to be selected by Congress to be the first person to take a ride on the space vehicle, in what was called the “First Interstellar Test Flight Hearings.” After four grueling ten-hour questionings sessions and after being grilled by nearly every member of Congress on everything from his knowledge of the machine to his political persuasions, Dr. Mierriden, who was appointed by The President to be the world’s first “Ambassador to Extraterrestrial Species or Beings,” was eventually confirmed.

After Dr. Mierriden’s speech ended the blue curtain covering the spacecraft and the tarp slowly rose. The spacecraft behind the curtain looked like a huge high-tech lathe with the single-occupant pod connected to the center of a ten-foot-thick, sixty-foot-long, silver cylinder. At either end of the central cylinder were too massive magnetic hyper-solenoids, or two huge torus-shaped electromagnetic coils.

Bundles of wires and conduits snaked throughout the machine giving it an ominous appearance. Dr. Mierriden walked back towards the machine. At the top of the ramp next to the pod, an official placed and fastened a helmet on Dr. Mierriden’s blaze orange spacesuit. The pod’s front-facing door opened and Dr. Mierriden stepped into the cockpit. The doctor took the seat, which he was all too familiar with, having been the chief design engineer for the spacecraft. Dr. Mierriden used the intercom to tell the thousands of members of the press more about the machine. The press and guests were all gathered inside the newly constructed largest open-air structure on Earth called the “Hollow Matrix Spimeon Collector.”

The collector was a huge hemispherical geodesic dome with deep blue tubes connected together in even geometric patterns. The structure was five hundred meters tall and one thousand meters wide at the base. Dr. Mierriden stated that: “The collector harnesses the Earth’s extra spimeons or space-time particles in order to help the machine curve space-time around its hyper-magnetic cylinders.

“The hyper-magnets line up the spimeons so that they can grab space-time like a clamp. The spimeons then rap space-time around the machine, until the space-time starts to stretch. The stretched space-time then spools around the cylinders in thin sheets, pulling the dimensional framework of the universe together creating what is known as a ‘Spimeon Dent.’ As the spimeon dent deepens it pulls the space-time of an increasingly distant point in the universe around the cylinder. In effect, the dent brings the destination to the machine in discrete sheets of space-time.

“Essentially, I won’t be leaving; I will be bringing a sliver of the distant place I am going to, to this machine. After the place I am going to gets here, I will open the door to this pod and take a spacewalk in the space surrounding the pod. I will be tethered for the first missions, as I am now. The tether clamped into my suit when I took my seat. I will be using rocket jets on my space suit to maneuver around during my spacewalk. Then when I am finished with the walk the tether will winch me back into the pod and the door will close. I can take some questions from the press now,” the doctor stated. Many reporters raised their hands, and a reporter was selected among them by an official. The reporter was from a national newspaper.

“Dr. Mierriden, approximately how far will you be going on this first mission; and could this ‘spacecraft’ allow you to walk on the moon?” The reporter asked.

“Good question, as for the first part, we are testing it at about near earth orbit for this first mission. We will be implementing the new computerized orbital insertion techniques requisite for the spacewalk; otherwise, I will just end up dangling from the tether under nearly full Earth gravity. Strikingly, until I leave the pod I will still be under full G-forces.

“As for the second part of your question, I think it should certainly be able to send me to the Moon, or Mars for that matter, actually the applications for exploration of just our solar system are practically unlimited. We could visit basically any of the planets, moons or other bodies in the solar system with this machine, in mere moments rather than the years it normally takes; next question.”

Another reporter was selected by the same official. “Hi, Garrison Knightly, Reuters. Could this machine have military applications such as, and I don’t want to be alarmist but, planting of bombs and such, in enemy strongholds, throughout the world,” the reporter asked?

“Certainly, that would be a violation of international law, and could not be applied to this machine. So the answer is absolutely no…” Dr. Mierriden stated.

“Excuse me, but what you are saying is it’s not legal but it’s still possible, physically?” The reporter retorted.

“Clearly it’s physically… plausible, but highly, highly unethical and illegal; next question.”

Another reporter was selected. “Humm, pardon me, Rachael Oliver, BBC. Not to sound silly, but is it safe to be in here, with all these subatomic particles whizzing about? And if not what kinds of health concerns should be worrying us?”

“Yes, it’s perfectly safe, the particles, the spimeons, are collected and focused at this machine, and all of them are used to wrap up space-time, so none are going to be reaching you…” The doctor said.

“Yes, Yes but, what of the space-time rapping? Is that terribly safe?” The Reporter interrupted.

“It has been done successfully thousands of times before bringing this program public with this first human test flight. We have sent robotic probes and conducted thousands of very thorough tests with the most sophisticated sensory equipment on Earth, to test radiation and other phenomenological exposures of occupants and audiences around the machine. All have come up as safe and secure. No ill health effects have been detected at any point during the testing.”

Another reporter questioned. “Dr. Mierriden, what exactly is a ‘spimeon,’ and how exactly are they collected by this, structure?”

“Excellent question; spimeons were referred to as space-time particles in the Einstein Conveyor Belt Papers. They are a part of a recently proven quantum theory of gravity that Einstein developed in secret for obvious reasons, some of which were alluded to in previous questions here. As for the method of their collection by the ‘Hollow Matrix Spimeon Collector’ that is accomplished through the careful application of Einstein’s quantum theory of gravity. You see according to the theory all matter in the universe radiate space-time, specifically in the form of these space-time particles or spimeons, which is chiefly why all matter has mass.

“In order to make a spimeon collector we had to first find a way to curve space-time. This structure is not only the largest but, even if you consider the Great Wall of China, also the heaviest known man-made structure on Earth. Each of the colossal 260 foot thick tubes of this 1,650-foot high geodesic dome is filled with concrete laden with large quantities of depleted uranium. The shape and mass of this geodesic dome curve space-time just enough for this device, at its center, to grab that curvature and wrap it around the outside of the cylinder of the spacecraft.”

After several more questions regarding everything from religious concerns to conspiratorial posers, Dr. Mierriden ended the questioning.

***

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turn-30-traveltheworld · 7 years

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Wine tasting in Italy

Today was an amazing day! (But they all have been so far)… I will post pictures soon

We went on a wine tour in Italy! We went to an area around the Cinque Terre Riveria, to the Cinque Terre winery, where over 100,000 bottles of wine are produced every year! Driving from the yacht to the winery took almost two hours. We had to go through many cities and basically up a huge mountain to get to the grapes, which were all grown mountain side (you can see them in the photos).

The most crazy part was when the wine maker got in our tour van with us to take us to the vineyards. He didn’t speak any English, and took us on of of their “Monorotieia” basically mono rails, that they use to collect the wine. Essentially it is a metal cart on a track, with nothing to hold you in (since it is used to transport grapes).

I went in the front basket by myself, and literally had no idea what I was getting into. The slopes were extremely steep, you had to hang on to the sides and keep your feet against the bottom for safety. And the went down and down to the ocean. Along the way we saw grape vines, cherry trees and peach trees!

However, the scariest part came with the last slope. Imagine a roller coaster ride level scary. All I could see in front of me was the blue ocean and nothing else. The rail went down over that, with a steep drop to the end. Where I got off (out of confusion) and had to get right back on to go back up (great).

Getting back on was the most trippy, because there was nothing but a small rail and a flat bed that I had to lay on, with only cliffs underneath ! Ah!

Afterwards, I was so glad I did it because when in my life again would I have the chance to ride the grape conveyor belt, on the side of a mountain, at an authentic Italian winery… but during, I was praying we made it back alive. Who was I thinking going first and alone was a good idea!

After the vineyard tour we went back to the main wine store and sampled many wines. The woman who helped us was a small Italian woman with broken English. Her family was the original owners of the winery since 1936!

She gave us a sample of champagne, a white grape that grows near the ocean bed and a white grape that grew where we rode on our tour (my favorite one).

She also gave us a taste of a special wine that was like a port, that she said they only drink for very special occasions such as marriage, new baby, graduation, etc. She had us mix this one with biscotti and even though that sounds odd, it was one of the most delicious dessert like treats I have ever experienced!

After the winery we headed to the coast and had a delicious Italian pasta lunch. All of our dishes were so fresh and fluffy!

After that, Matty and I headed to a rocky coast area and sat with our feet in the water. It was breathtakingly beautiful, the water was various colors and the cliffs and village behind us full of vibrant color! Also... On the drive home, we saw what looked to be snow on the mountains so we asked our driver and he said that is actually marble! How rad!

All in all, it was a spectacular day and I am so proud to say I have now had a very legit wine tour and tasting in Italy!

We are in the van headed home now, tonight is the white party on the yacht. We are all dressing in white with white decorations and white themed food! Should be a blast, will definitely have more to share on that soon!

Hugs, B

#wine #wine tasting #italy #tourism #authencity

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meisteralready · 7 years

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A Supermarket at 45 rpm

1982. Reagan was still just an actor in the white house, my hometown baseball team would win the World Series, and I was turning nine years old. We didn’t have cable, my Mom and I lived in an apartment in Fenton, Mo, St. Louis County. South of the city. That summer was awesome. I think it was sunny everyday. I went camping for a whole weekend for the first time with someone other than my family. I also kissed a girl for the first time. It was on a trampoline late one afternoon in Eddie Weber’s backyard. That summer, I bought my first record as well, a 45 rpm.

All summer long, we kept hearing the same song, at the pool, in movie theater parking lots, at the field house where we would go or sno-cones after soccer practice. It started off weird, the song did, with what sounded like someone hitting empty coke bottles. The guy singing had a strange accent. It was a rock song, but it had a lotta flute in it and no, it wasn’t Jethro Tull, In the lyrics, he talked about vegemite sandwiches. I found out the name of the song was “Down Under” and the name of the band was Men At Work.

I remember being in the car with my Mom and the song came on. I quickly asked her to turn it up, which caught her attention, for this was not something I did on the reg. She chuckled at various references in the song especially “where the beer would flow and men would chunder", which I only found recently meant to puke. Mom stated, halfway in the song, “I think these guys are from Austraila”, and when the famous vegemite line was uttered, she laughed, “Oh, yeah, they’re Aussies,” adding, “your father and I knew a lot of blokes like that.”

I didn’t quite know what that meant, but she beamed with pride. My Dad and Mom, when they were first married, lived in Sydney for a few months, then Melbourne, before having to come home because my grandfather got sick and Mom found out that she was pregnant. It was hard for them to leave Australia, they were a young couple in the prime of their lives, living abroad in a friendly country (Well, friendly at least to white people at that time, aside from how they treated aborigines), and they seemed to be deeply, madly in love.

Their photo albums from that time were like highlight reels for happiness with pictures that made it seem like they’re living in heaven on earth. After they moved back, Grandpa did die and grief-stricken, Mom miscarried. Three years later, I was born, but they were miserable together and eventually got divorced. Yet Australia, was this gem of their time together and, even today, the greatest times of their lives.

Back in 1982, The DJ on the radio in the car confirmed that, indeed, Men At Work were from Australia and that they were HUUUUGEEE there. Now at that time, the only other band I knew that was from Australia was AC/DC and I was told by John Hrdlicka, my next door neighbor with the most christian mother i had ever met, that AC/DC actually meant After Christ, Devil Comes. My cousin Kathy had an album of theirs with Angus displaying his devil horns, so that, in essence, confirmed it. To a eight year old, Satan was some heavy shit.

A week or so later, Mom and I went to Schnuck’s, our neighborhood grocery store. This was the early 80s, we didn’t go out a whole lot, and going to the supermarket was a BFD. A Big Fucking Deal. Sometimes we’d see a friend of mine from school or Mom would flirt with the store manager to get double coupons on a week where there wasn’t double coupons. And Mom usually let me get something, like candy or a comic book or the like. But this time it was different.

Mom, by now six years divorced, still beautiful, and very liberated, was talking it up in the meat aisle with a guy wearing a wide-open, chest-hair-filled polyester shirt. I didn’t know him and it didn’t seem like anybody else did as well. They displayed all the signs of attraction between two people, something that, years later, I would come to recognize. He would lean in to her to tell a joke, my Mom would lilt in her laugh and shift her hips side-to-side. I didn’t even know if the jokes were good, and, being nine, kicked at the rollers on the shopping cart, and was generally, loudly bored. After an elongated “MoooOOOoooM,” she turned to me, quickly dug into her purse and handed me four bucks.

FOUR BUCKS. That was pretty incredible. Outside of Christmas cards or birthdays, it was the most money I had ever held in my hand. I was dumbfounded. “What do I do with this?” I asked. Mom, never breaking her gaze from her Meat Market Adonis shooed me away with a “whatever you want.” I walked away amazed and let them continue their budding romance next to the pork steaks. I had to get one more meat joke in.

The supermarket was now, a whole new world to me. I was willy wonka and this was my chocolate factory, everything seemed at my disposal. WHAT TO BUY WITH ALL MY RICHES? I went to the comic books - nothing new there, I had all the latest editions that were on the shelf. I looked at the candy and nothing was overly biting me - I believe I had one of those sno-cones only an hour or so earlier. I went closer to the liquor aisle, no, i was pre-pubescent wino. Near the liqour, Schnucks was trying out something new, something I had never seen before outside the local Sam Goody - a section for 45 rpm records.

Now, in the history of vinyl, these were the waning years of the record single. Tape and later CD singles would be the 7 inches’ demise, falling to an all-time sales low in 1985. And supermarkets, being the dinosaurs of change, added a 45 record section in the last dying breaths of the medium. It is though, historic to me for it was where I bought my first record, next to a guy buying a fifth of Seagram’s Gin and Similac.

I looked through the two rows of singles - Hurts So Good by John No-One-Had-Yet-Heard-of Mellencap Cougar, Abracadabra by Steve Miller Band which did not reach out and grab me, and many, many copies of Always On My Mind by Willie Nelson, which I almost bought because Willie looked like a space cowboy on the cover wearing a silver jacket, changing out his regular red bandana for some teal blue sari-looking one, all the while with weird sand dunes in the back that made him look like he was one Mars. He probably picked the album cover while stoned. Who I am kidding, everything done by Willie Nelson was done while he was stoned. Shit, if I could do that, damn right, I would. But all of us can’t be Willie Nelson. I think. What was I talking about?

Right, the record. So, I’m flipping through the singles and come across Men At Work. I knew I like the song and I distinctly remember the price tag reading $3.30. Right in my wheelhouse. So I walk up to the register and put in on the conveyor belt, and right as it was getting zapped by the mysterious green light that under the glass plate that somehow knew all the prices of everything everywhere, the cashier asked me if I was interested day-old roses that were on sale for a quarter a piece. She listlessly waved her hand toward it in such a way that I still have hope today that she finally found a job that fulfills her. Feeling rich and proud of my very unlike-eight year old purchase, I think I literally said, “Throw it on my tab.” My flirt with the cashier didn’t go as well as did the older gentleman with my mother. She sighed and I was immediately embarrassed, my only wish was to be back in the meat aisle.

I turned, defeated, to find my Mom. She and Mr.-70s-held-over were near the front of the store by the half-priced store-brand cereals that were on the endcap. I sauntered over with the rose hidden behind my back. Mom was tearing what I guess was her phone number on a piece of paper from a pad in her checkbook. This pad, usually used only for to-do lists, now included romantic encounters. As she handed it to this poor-man’s-Chuck-Barris, I pretended to be interested in a box of knock-off fruity pebbles, which I think they were called Fruit Rocks. He swaggered away and i presented my Mom with the rose. She smiled so brightly. I can still feel that kiss she gave me on my forehead.

I don’t know if that guy, who I will now always call Fruit Rocks, ever did get a hold of Mom, but what I do remember is getting home and Mom happily loading up that single on the record player. you see, I was not able to touch the hi-fi for at least another two years. The first time was when I bought my first long-playing record, which Prince’s Purple Rain, but that’s a whole other story.

That night, though, I had Mom play Side A of that 45 over and over. “Down Under” definitely brought the Thunder, which, coincidentially, is now the name of an Australian all-male stripper revue. Mom & I danced and laughed at each other for hours. I never got the drug references in the song, of which there are many, for example, “Lyin’ in a den in Bombay. With a slack jaw, and not much to say”? Really? You do the math.

OPIUM.

Dancing the night away back then with Mom is a great memory. I HATED the B-side of the record, though. I can’t even remember the name of it. It was pure crap. Some song that I have erased from my memory. I detested it so much that I got a steak knife and intentionally scratched “I HATE THIS” into the grooves. I mean, I could do it, right? It was mine. I BOUGHT it. Over the next couple months, I lost interest in the 45 and eventually, lost track of the record.

Fast forward to 2009. My Mom, after a long and truly courageous battle with an illness, passes. Yet, she lived long enough to see her only grandchild born, something she always wanted. My daughter Evangeline, who adored her. Evie looks just like Mom, and is just as funny as she was, just as kind, and is just as beautiful.

It took me a long time to go through Mom’s stuff. It sat for years. In 2015, I began. God forbid anything ever happened to me, my kid wouldn’t know what any of this stuff was. I catalogued things, wrote a bit about each box I would go through, made little quicktime movies. It helped a lot. Tremendously cathartic. One night last summer with Evangeline visiting, I open up a box marked “silverware”. It was in my Mom’s handwriting, which was always beautiful, the way all Mom’s seem to write.

Inside was no cutlery at all, instead, loose odds and ends and on top was something small, flat and wrapped in bubblewrap. I opened it. It was that old Men at Work forty-five, one side still scratched to hell with the price tag reading $3.30 staring me dead in the eye. I had never mentioned it before, in all conversations I ever had with Mom, even as an adult, that this was my first record. But she knew. She protected it. She cared.

I began to weep, softly. Evie, a little alarmed, stopped playing with her toys on the floor, came over and hugged me. She asked me what was wrong. Kinda just like what Mom would do. I told her this very story. She cried a bit as well. Eve was only two when my Mom died. She has fleeting memories. She said that she missed “Meemaw”, what she could recollect of her. She said she was sad because she could not remember her voice. We, regrettably, neglected to take many videos of her and Mom.

After a bit, Eve reached into the box and pulled out a small package. It was a rubber banded manila envelope of cassette tapes. it was marked “Austraila”, again in Virginia Meister’s expert penmanship. These were taped audio letters, sent back and forth, from Mom & Dad to each of their parents in America, while they lived abroad. One side would be of my parents’ adventures in Oz, with the other being the whole family relaying stories of back home.

Evie and I sat the rest of that night and listened to them while flipping through the treasured photo albums. She remembered her grandmother’s voice and for the first time in my life, I heard the voice of my grandfather whom I had never met.

And we played that Men At Work 45. And we danced and we laughed at each other. But we only spun “Down Under”, never that B-Side, because that other song? That was pure crap.

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724towingserviceomaha-blog · 5 years

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