#correction: they kill someone dressed as Santa but they take it very seriously | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shianhygge-imagines · 4 years

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{R} [Bungou Stray Dogs Reactions] Where Do Babies Come From, Mister?

AN: I’m going to go ahead and finish writing this request while I wait for FFVII Remake to finish downloading. What’s funny, is that all four of them would be the least qualified to handle a child’s question about that :D

A bit on the short side, since I’m pretty sure that these guys wouldn’t get very far before someone interjects bails them out. I also read the prompt wrong, so sorry if it sounds a little jumbled.

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Dazai

Let’s be honest here... this entire mess probably started with Dazai and his scheming to get his friends into uncomfortable situations.

Dazai’s too smart to be ignorant of sex and all the related topics involving the act, but he’s also too well aware that the topic of sex can make some people uncomfortable.

He purposely starts to put all his coworkers in situations with children involved, knowing that one day, a child will ask that question... and when that time comes, it will either be him answering... or one of his poor colleagues.

So in preparation, the ex-Mafia member decides that he’d make up a story about how babies are brought into existence and tells it to every naive soul that would believe him.... namely Akutagawa, Atsushi, Gin, Kyoka, and even his S/O... though they eventually figure out that it’s his way of tricking people

When the child asks Dazai how babies are made, the man goes on a long tirade, doing his best to add as much melodrama as possible as he recites his story... and then his s/o just slaps a hand over Dazai’s mouth and replies with a smile, “Long story short, Santa delivers the babies to new parents.”

Dazai gets away with his story telling and plotting because everyone involved is too embarrassed to really process what situation he lured them into... and by then, they just want to forget that it happened... and because he has a partner in crime ;)

Atsushi

In all likeliness, Atsushi probably doesn’t know where babies come from either. >.>

Highly likely that he believed the stork story that the orphanage caretakers told the children.

Definitely not one to question anything until he was forced out of the orphanage... and even then, he didn’t question it until Dazai or Kunikida brought it up for a case.

Would have probably answered all innocently that children were delivered to new parents by storks... which would send Dazai into a laughing fit like no other...

And then Dazai would sagely inform Atsushi that babies were delivered to new parents by Santa, but rarely on Christmas because poor Santa was always backed up with orders for babies during the holidays. So parents would just receive their babies around 9 months after they wrote a letter to Santa for one.

When a child innocently asks where babies come from, Atsushi rather seriously conveys Dazai’s wisdom to the children. Dazai laughing in the background before Yosano corrects both Atsushi and the child.

Needless to say, Atsushi felt rather foolish for believing Dazai...

But the next time it happens, Atsushi is baffled at what to reply. To which his s/o, who turns out to be in league with Dazai, kneels in front of the little boy and rather seriously replies, “Santas brings them to new parents.” Atsushi is caught between amazement at their impression of a serious Dazai... and horror that they just lied to a child

Chuuya

Of course Chuuya knows where babies come from!

Despite the level of standard that each of the Port Mafia members upholds, they are a crime organization, and it was inevitable that they would be involved with affairs of the sexual manner.

The petite-mafioso (*Chuuya glares at Shian*) would have some experience with sex (*Chuuya: Why only some?!*) plus he’d have to deal with any of his members being irresponsible with their partners.

More than once, Chuuya’s probably had to track down his mens’ bastards and ensure that they were in a safe environment.

So, it’s not like Chuuya’s uneducated about sex....

The poor man just gets uncomfortable like no other when one of his subordinate’s child asks him where babies come from.

Because what is he supposed to say? That babies are the product of when a woman and man bump uglies?

And if he does decide to be honest, how detailed was he willing to get?

Damn it, it wasn’t his job to educate children in the first place.

In his panic, Chuuya would probably splutter out nonsense until his s/o took pity upon him and recounted the story that they had heard Dazai tell Akutagawa and Gin.

Chuuya, rather grateful for the save, will ask where his s/o got the story from... and promptly get mad because it’s Dazai’s story

Kunikida

Oh boy... poor Kunikida... how he managed to let Dazai get him into these situations is above him.

He had the entire day planned to the second in his notebook, checking his watch carefully as he went about his day’s tasks.

So... how he found himself in a daycare with his s/o and Dazai... well... he could only glare accusingly at his partner, who smiled innocently.

Still, Kunikida couldn’t simply make his s/o leave the daycare when they seemed to enjoy taking care of the children so much. He would put up with the screaming, yelling, and hair tugging so long as his s/o was happy.

Besides, so long as the children didn’t try to speak to him, he would be just f-....

“Kunikida-san! Where do babies come from?” a little girl in a lilac dress and pigtails asked innocently, staring up at him with two other children by her side.

Adjusting his glasses, Kunikida raised a brow, “And what makes you think that I know the answer to that question?”

“Dazai-san said that you were the expert about where babies come from!” The little boy next to the girl pointed to where Dazai was busy reading a book to the children.

“C’mon, Kunikida-san! Tell us!” the girl begged.

The detective faltered, eyes darting back and forth, nervously. He couldn’t possible tell the children the truth. He would have too many angry parents at the Agency’s door... as he thought of another explanation to give the children, he glanced back at the girl and boy, only to discover that the amount of children standing before him had increased.

“Ah.” Dazai, I’m going to kill you!

“Children!” his s/o’s voice cut through the noise and Kunikida breathed a sigh of relief as they smiled kindly and answered, “You know how Santa brings good girls and boys presents on Christmas? Well, grown ups are allowed to make a wish to Santa to be gifted a baby. But because babies are ultra-special precious things, Santa can only bring parents a baby when the baby is ready after nine months!”

At the end of the day, when Kunikida questioned his s/o’s choice of explanation, they only huffed, “I didn’t see you coming up with an explanation!”

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promiscuous-jalapeno · 6 years

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MC bringing home RFA (and V &Saeran) S.O. to meet their family over the holidays?

Tis the season!! ⋆ᗰદ૨૨ʏ⋆ᐠ₍⁽˚⑅̆˚⁾₎ᐟ⋆ᘓમ૨ıડτന੨ડ⋆

~I’ll base some of the things on Christmas since it is the holiday I know the most about

◉ Yoosung

Not nervous at all?

Just suuuper excited to meet them, honestly

The week before you guys left, he was dragging you through the mall asking a billion questions about what your family likes and what to buy each of them

Took almost a whole day making sure he wrapped them beautifully and was so excited when everyone opened and loved their gifts

WILL GO THROUGH ALL YOUR BABY PHOTO ALBUMS AND FAWN OVER EVERY PICTURE WITH YOUR FAMILY

Fits in like he’s known your family for years

“You guys know you can’t trade me for Yoosung, right?”

They urge you both to kiss underneath the mistletoe and then take pictures when you finally do

You both are blushing like crazy

Yoosung always making sure to help with dishes and even gets up early to start breakfast for everyone

(they’re so shocked and happy about that)

Your family is so sad when it’s time for you both to leave

◉ Jumin

Laughs when you ask if he is nervous

“Should I be? I think I’m actually quite likable, wouldn’t you agree?”

He still makes sure you both are dressed in very nice clothes and he has expensive gifts from his company to give to everyone

Can’t stop talking about how much he absolutely loves you??????

It’s honestly embarrassing but your family is eating it up because he is saying all these lovey-dovey things with the upmost seriousness

EVERYONE LOVES ELIZABETH 3RD AND SHE LOVES THEM

She is LIVING for all of the attention she is getting

Is already planning family trips around the world

Tries to show your parents photos of your guys’ travels but they’re all terrible and blurry and your family just has to smile and nod

Asking questions like crazyyy

“What are these…socks, hanging here for? What is their purpose?”

“What is this eggnog? Quite the peculiar taste, but not disagreeable.”

“I don’t understand the origin of the tree, but Elizabeth 3rd seems to enjoy playing in it. We should get one for the penthouse.”

It actually became a new family game where everyone picks something and bets on whether Jumin will know what it is or not

And Jumin loves the game so much

◉ Zen

BALL of NERVES

He changes outfits like 17 times before he finds something he is comfortable wearing in front of your family

Praying like hell they have never seen any of his stuff/don’t know who he is, he wants to meet your family as someone they don’t have preconceived notions about

Holds your hand the whole trip there, for comfort

When you arrive, he is the pinnacle of calm and polite (but you can tell he is nervous by the random, almost undetectable fidgeting he does)

Mostly he just tries to be himself, and your family adores him

He is taking photos with EVERYONE

Christmas filters with antlers and santa hats and you all are laughing so hard

King of playing charades when it’s family game time

How many times can you hear the joke “What’s such a handsome man like that doing with someone like you??” they probably broke the record for it

But Zen is at your side every time, explaining how HE is the lucky one

And everyone just goes “Awwwwww” when he kisses the top of your head

Everyone is blown away when he sings along to the holiday songs on the radio and even more blown away that he could play piano and lead everyone in the songs

“You didn’t tell them we ride a motorcycle….right?”

“Zen, for the 100th time, no. They’d kill us both.”

◉ Jaehee

A bit nervous but for the most part, collected

She’s planned the entire trip, packed the correct number and type of outfits for you both, looked at the weather forecast, and grabbed appropriate gifts for everybody

Okay maybe she’s a bit more nervous than you thought because that’s when she starts planning like a crazy person

LOOKS SO CUTE IN UGLY CHRISTMAS SWEATERS IT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL

Your family loves her, she is so intelligent and can have a conversation with anyone on just about anything

Offers to bake christmas cookies as a thank you and your family decides she is never allowed to leave because they are SO GOOD

Shows your family self defense moves

It’s such a relief that they can feel safe that you’re with someone so capable as her after seeing her throw your dad across the room LOL

Ends up baking all of the desserts for the entirety of your stay because everyone loves them so much

You guys decorate ornaments together and get embarrassed when your family keeps making remarks on how cute you two are together

◉ Saeyoung

Says he is totally fine but on the inside he’s screaming

He has NO CLUE how to act in family environments and he wants to make a good impression

On top of the fact that he’s never been a fan of holidays

Gets strangely reserved and you have to kinda pull him out of it

When he first meets them he is so not like himself

Quiet, awkward

As time goes on he starts to warm up and get comfortable

Gets really teary-eyed when he sees his name on presents under the tree and a stocking for him next to yours

“They…did this for me?”

“Well, of course! You’re family now,” you smile and grab his hand

After that he starts to really dig the whole holiday tradition thing

eats SO MANY COOKIES

“I wonder if we can bake honey buddha chip cookies and dip them into PHD Pep-”

“Saeyoung NO”

Surprises everyone by dressing up as Santa and handing out the presents on Christmas Morning

◉ V

All he wants is to meet your family, so he is thrilled when he finally gets the chance

Right away he thanks your family for raising such an amazing and beautiful person

FAMILY PORTRAITS TAKEN BY V

Captures everyones hearts with his flowery way of speaking and plethora of life experiences

AND with how much he adores you

So observant and attentive, he is grabbing things for your family members before they even ask or cleaning up before they can even notice

No matter how much you try to stop it, this boy is getting every single story about you growing up and what you were like

Also asks to borrow photos and videos of you as a child so he can make copies because he loves you so much and he loves them so much

You didn’t even know he snuck in gifts for everybody but he did and somehow they’re all perfect??? How??

Over Christmas dinner he brings out several bottles of champagne and offers a wonderful toast to your families hospitality and again thanks them for bringing the love of his life into this world

He blends in so well

And he wishes he could just sit there forever around all the people you hold closest to your heart, listening to them laugh and talk about old times

◉ Saeran

Much like Saeyoung, he is crazy nervous

But also crazy stubborn and doesn’t want it to show

Puts on a Christmas sweater before you head over

“I look stupid.”

“Nooo! You look so cute and handsome! They’re going to love it, and they’re going to love you.”

When you first arrive he’s a lot like a lost puppy and he doesn’t quite understand what to do and how tradition works

B-lines it to the sweets

He is literally never without a cookie or candy cane in his hand

So much so that he becomes the honorary family taste-tester for the baked goods

Will NOT share the bowl or spoon when he gets to lick them and only sticks his tongue at you when you call him rude

“Honey, leave Saeran alone. Let him enjoy his treats, it’s Christmas!”

Saeran: ;P

Can’t decide if he likes eggnog but he hasn’t stopped drinking it since you got there so that must be a good sign

Brought Poinsettias as a gift

Your family kinda loves that he doesn’t really speak much

Laughs at your old embarrassing photos and you have to smack his arm playfully

“Tell me more about that time you peed your pants”

“Saeran I swear to god.”

———–

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#mystic messenger #mystic messenger headcanon #mystic messenger imagines #mystic messenger scenario #mystic messenger christmas

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melyaliz · 7 years

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The Nickname Games

So @speedypan and I spent all night coming up with this. It’s just fun writing exercise and there is nothing else to say about it. There isn’t much of a format or anything.

It was something Faith had started as a way to remember everyone she met at during her first days at the Young Justice Headquarters. However, it quickly turned into a game between her and Gigi were they tried to figure out who could come up with the best nicknames for everyone.

Willow was the first as “The Ninja Santa Savior” for obvious reasons. Once they had finally put to rest the rumors (because YES, she DID save Santa thank you very much) Maia joined in on the fun.

This led to Clone Roy is the Angry Leprechaun and Real Roy is the Angrier Leprechaun

“Why are they so angry?” Gigi had asked over a pint of ice cream as the three of them sat watching everyone else hustle and bustle around them. Really where did she find these things? And how did she eat so much without getting sick?

“Just call them freckles and watch them try to kill me,” Maia said

“We would never want to see you die,” Faith said stealing a spoonful of Gigi’s ice cream, “But that’s good information for later.”

Tim became the doughnut eating monster- this one happened when Faith informed them that one day he ate a whole box her sister had brought in after a mission. He basically kept walking into the kitchen in a half sleep state and taking one and walking out only to come back a few moments later to take another.

Bart’s was "sneaky sneaker.” None of them really know where it came from. But it seemed to fit him so well it just stuck.

Then Gigi did the unthinkable. She called the Roys freckles. They had been fighting and she innocently asked Maia “why are the freckles fighting?”

“I probably shouldn’t have told her that” Maia mumbled to Faith as both boys turned in shock at the red haired girl.

“I mean she was bound to say it” the short brunette shrugged.

Needless to say, Gigi got the cold shoulder for an hour.

Something she didn’t really notice until basically that hour was up.

“Are Angry and Angrier Leprechauns not talking to me?”

“Why would you say that?” Faith snickered.

“Because when I was telling them a story about my new cheer retinue neither told me to go tell you, they just kept working.”

“Sounds like that punished them more than you.”

“So they were?”

“Yeah.”

Kaldur was Blub Blub, until Faith informed them that “Excuse me, he’s captain blub blub.” At first, the theory was that Captain Blub blub knew Ariel,

Or that was the case until Faith mentioned that M'gann might, in fact, BE Ariel. After they made Maia watch the Little Mermaid and Faith showed them the facts there was no denying it. "I mean she's got red hair and she's dating a fish guy"

M’Gann was indeed the little mermaid.

However, they put the theory to bed when Gigi saw M’Gann cooking seafood once.

“She’s not REALLY Ariel”

“But you said…”

And to say that it didn’t make missions interesting was an understatement. The poor enemy would get so confused, it’s not like their hero names were that easy to begin with. (I mean Speedy is the arrow kid and Kid Flash is the speedy one?)

During one mission while Kaldur and Red Arrow were arresting some goons the poor confused meatheads wouldn’t shut up about Angry Leprechaun and Captain Blub Blub.

But let’s not forget Conner aka Angry Spice

Which begged the question "I mean, why are you always grumpy?" Gigi finally poised one day while getting ready for a mission.

“But really, though,” Faith added, “No jokes.”

“Why are you?” Maia finished all three of them staring at a very confused and now even more grumpy Conner.

“I'm not angry!!" he snapped standing up and storming out. This didn’t really seem to help his side of the argument but they let him leave.

“Ok new game, whoever can get Conner to smile first get’s free ice cream from the losers.” Faith said.

The game was on.

Or it was until Faith cheated by informing Conner that if he smiled for her she would win ice cream so wouldn’t he want to help out a friend? It had earned her a smirk but Maia wasn’t about to lose to a cheater.

So she told him where Roy got the nickname “Freckles”

Gigi ended up just taking everyone out, including Conner who she somehow talked into just buying them all ice cream. Because he was the best and way cooler than even Superman. And why didn’t they hang out more? His superhero outfit was so normal and looked like something kids from her school would wear.

By the time they came back with huge ice cream cones everyone else just wanted to know where they had gone.

Which was merely answered with meaningful smiles and off-handed “you’re not cool enough” comments.

Although Conner couldn’t keep a straight face on the next mission with Red Arrow and Willow. Which annoyed the Angry Leprechaun

"Why is Conner staring at me and laughing Maia?" "Oh did someone call me?"

Gigi sighed watching as Maia dashed off Roy following closely behind, “Poor Roy” she said to her best friend who was doing push-ups next to her.

“I guess… but also, whatever.”

Gigi took another bite of her ice cream, again where did she have all these pints? Who is funding this endless supply and where is she keeping them? "Fair point"

"Did you tell him about the freckles?" "Me? No! but I heard Dick talking about it." "Uh huh. Let’s just go tell him about yours then shall we?"

From across the room, Faith sat up and Gigi’s head turned around The Exorcist style.

Maia leaned forward so her two friends couldn’t hear her, "You do realize I basically have two teens, one with superpowers and one with no remorse in dislocating your shoulder, wrapped around my little finger right?"

Roy glanced over at the two teen girls who looked away acting like they were talking to each other "Ok fair enough"

Poor Roy, he couldn’t get away from those two girls.

He would finally get some alone time with Maia. Their favorite music playing in the background with her dressed in only his black hoodie. He pulled her onto his lap smiling as she leaned down to kiss him.

And her phone beeped.

She just giggled glancing at it for a moment before capturing his lips with her’s.

They were in full out makeout session when the phone started to blow up. Beeping like it was a time bomb about to go off.

Losing his concentration, which is hard when Maia was involved, Roy pushed her off grabbing her phone.

“WHO is texting you!?!”

Maia giggled pushing her light brown back from her face, “Do you even have to ask?”

“Do they seriously need to figure out what Nightwing’s nickname is at this very moment?”

“Aww don’t be made because you don’t have teen sidekicks because you are an Angry Leprechaun…”

The next night he pulled Tim and Bart aside.

“Meeting now!”

“Can Jamie come or…”

“Yes!”

He brings them to the large workout room “See Maia I now have three!”

“So we have Ice cream,” Gigi said who had brought a thermos of it with her to the training room. Gross, maybe, dedication, absolutely.

“Well you do” Faith corrected between her punches on the punching bag.

But it was true. Their threesome was built on ice cream so Roy decided to get his new team something else.

Heelies.

Because Maia hated heelies. They were unnatural and just made no sense to her.

Which the girls had to get too.

Which was somewhat of a disaster.

Because Gigi’s stretch powers and heelies didn’t really mix.

And Faith being annoyingly good at it. Like doing flips and triple axels in them.

While Bart went too fast and burned the rubber on his out too fast.

The fumes made Jaime sick.

Which he almost did on Tim who kept falling over and ending up just sitting on the floor while Faith did circles around him, "aww sorry," Tim glaring at her from the floor legs crossed, "YOU'RE NOT SORRY"

"Yeah..."

Tim chuckled crossing his legs resigned to his fate in life, “At least I didn’t have to get a child’s size shoe”

Faith paused for a moment, “Rude, my feet are proportionally perfect for my size”

“You mean Pocket size.”

“Faith! Your Polly Pocket!” Gigi screamed as she tried to untangle her leg from her two arms and neck. Bart and Jaime slowly trying to help.

Faith giggled doing a triple jump “just call me Double P”

“Enjoying yourself?” Roy asked as he cruised past Maia who was clinging to the wall for dear life. She glared up at him as she tried to take a step but slipped on her heel. She could feel for Tim at the moment.

“You and Faith can stop showing off.” she mumbled.

“Aww come on,” he said taking her hands pulling her upright, “It’s not that hard.” he then added something as he leaned forward whispering in her ear. She pulled back a smirk on her face.

“ROY!”

#roy harper #Tim Drake #Faith #Gigi #Maia #bart allen #roy harper reader #tim drake reader #bart allen reader #wings #my story #my writing #dc fanfic #jaime reyes #jaime reyes reader

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