#cw rape culture

[theremina]

Adoption causes way more intergenerational trauma and collective health crises than I think many "kept" people realize.

If you bother to read it, the science is clear: adoption is violently traumatic, causing devastating, irreversible health issues for millions of human beings. Yet I'd have more luck conveying the severity and longevity of my own trauma to most non-adoptees with "I was dropped on my head as a baby."

Heck, I didn't begin to contend with the horrors of my own situation until my mid forties. Being yeeted directly after birth into foster care and eventually adopted by lovely, well-intentioned folks who were not prepared *at all* to help me deal with the lifelong neurodevelopmental disorders and physical health problems directly caused by my abandonment at birth has permanently damaged me. I'm saying so as one of the "lucky ones".

I adore my adoptive family. They're incredible parents. We love each other dearly. This doesn't change the fact, not for one second, that I wouldn't wish adoption on ANYBODY. Thankfully, my folks understand this. I wish more adoptive parents did.

The modern adoption industry* is, by design, deeply misogynistic, racist, transactional, ableist, imperialist, colonial. Ignorance and hate and apathy and coercion and subjugation and dehumanization and capitalism keep the machine running.

We're already seeing the beginning of Baby Scoop Too: Electric Boogaloo on Facebook. On Twitter. On Instagram. On other social media platforms owned and controlled by obscenely wealthy white men who don't consider private adoptions to be unethical.

You may *think* that legalized human trafficking doesn't really effect you, but soon, if the Christofascists continue their cultural blitzkrieg, the amount of infants and children who end up in the foster care system, adopted by unqualified people, in devastating private "rehoming" situations like the one shared above, or worse, is gonna SKYROCKET.

So...I'm barely on Facebook anymore for a few different reasons. One of them is that I couldn't handle watching a whole bunch of ignorant self-proclaimed feminists making shitty adoption jokes after Roe was overturned.

Another reason is that Facebook is LITERALLY A BABY MARKET.

ADOPTIVE PARENTS ARE BUYING AND SELLING CHILDREN ON FACEBOOK. WHAT THE ACTUAL UNFORTUNATE FUCK.

Nearly 100 million American families are in the adoption triad, with a majority of adoptees' needs and voices being considered last instead of first. It's so backwards.

Non-kinship adoption is a systemic violence that cannot help but touch the lives of billions. That is so very, very bad for ALL of us, not just abandoned infants and children or their struggling parents.

Some straightforward response questions for every person who has ever asked me about about my adoption:

Are you a feminist? Are you antiracist? Are you a humanitarian? Anti-ableist? Do you consider yourself lefty, liberal, or otherwise progressive? Do you respect science? Then please reevaluate your perceptions of adoption.

For every adoptive or bio parent you listen to, listen to three or more adoptees. For every shitty adoption "joke" you've ever told, check in with an adoptee (or first mom) in a kind and caring way. For every ignorant question you've ever asked an adoptee about our "real parents", crack a book!

Please. Do some research. Learn. Please. Center transracial adoptees, international adoptees, disabled adoptees, queer adoptees. Please. This stuff impacts all of us just as surely as countless other aspects of systemic rape culture do. Try to understand. Please.

I'm more certain than ever that we must abolish before we can rebuild.

Please give a shit. Please.

*The fact that adoption is an industry at all should shock and horrify us all, and yet... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[image description: a screenshot of a Facebook post with a black border and caption reading, “Welcome to America, where people try to regime adopted children on Facebook Marketplace.” The Facebook post itself reads, “So basically they either want him to come back home, or have CPS place him in a foster home. Or I can find someone willing to take him in, and ‘under the table’ pay them the stipend, we get. If CPS places him they will have to have an open case against me. In doing that I will lose my job. I cannot work at a daycare, school, group home etc. if I have an open active CPS case against me. How the hell do I go about ‘re-homing’ my child? Should I create a post in market place? Through no fault of our own, we are being forced to re-home our thirteen year old son. He can be the most loving, helpful young man. He does suffer some learning difficulties. He comes with a complete wardrobe and a monthly allotment. Only serious inquiries please.” End id]

#karpoozy #adoptee #adoption is violence #adoption is annihilation #adoption is racist #adoption is sexist #adoption = imperialism #adoptee voices #adoption is legal human trafficking #cw rape culture

[seakicker]

No i get you... There's something wrong with me because as a survivor I'm absolutely repulsed by noncon yet I sometimes get off to the thoughts of it and it feels so wrong

so i’m really thankful you brought this up because this is actually an extremely important topic to me— the idea of people feeling guilt, shame, and embarrassment over their kinks is something i consider really interesting and important, especially in the realm of fem-aligned people and/or survivors since sexuality is so stigmatized and demonized for both groups. i want you (and everyone else) to know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying scenarios related to your trauma, noncon included. i know people worry that they’re contributing to “the problem” by enjoying noncon scenarios, but to blame adults practicing kink safely in their private lives for systemic issues like rape culture and misogyny would be really misguided. rape culture is not perpetuated by victims and never will be, and any response you have to your trauma is already valid. people who become sex-repulsed after their abuse are valid, people who feel hypersexual after their abuse are valid, people who replay the scenario in their head are valid, people who seek to take control back by turning their trauma into a safe, sane, and consensual scene between them and a partner they trust are valid, all of it. i don’t want you to think that you’re gross or contributing to systemic issues by getting off to noncon because you’re not gross and you’re not perpetuating systemic issues.

#last i checked the statistic was like over 60% of women and 57% of men have had noncon fantasies #so it’s really normal imo #it’s all about how you act on the thoughts #chats #cw noncon #cw rape #cw rape culture #mutuals #adalynn 🔮 #cw abuse #cw trauma

[drfrankensteinvsthequeerborgs]

Mark of Cain!Dean: oh sure, it's always "kill your local rapist" until you do, then suddenly it's 'evil' and 'backsliding into losing my humanity' and 'foreshadowing'

#dfvq liveblog #dfv queue #dfvq spn #spn10x9 #dean winchester #mark of cain #incorrect quotes #cw rape #cw rape culture #foreshadowing #cw mutilation #saving people hunting things

[puppygirldick]

Tell me how tf a surgery on MY body is an over YOUR dead body thing

#ill probably just kill you #good riddance #cw rape culture

[amateur-glass-chewer]

on "if you leave a watch unguarded"

spent some time on the internet today. this was a mistake. now i am going to rant into the void.

(this is a rant about rape culture and bs arguments that blame victims for "objectifying themselves" or "asking for it" or whatever. click away now if that's a trigger.)

people like to make the argument that women showing skin is like standing in public, unguarded, while carrying $1 mill (or wearing an expensive watch or something).

before we even get into equating WOMEN with WATCHES, this argument is fundamentally flawed. in this essay (ok so it's not a proper essay, sue me) we are going to go over why it's a shit argument, starting with reasons that have nothing to do with the fact that females aren't objects, because apparently "females aren't objects" is too hard for people to understand.

so.

let us begin.

...

point the first: stealing is still wrong.

here is the thing:

if i stand in public glassy-eyed while carrying $1 mill in cash for some damn reason (why the fuck is this the classic clapback), it is still not my fault if i get robbed. it is the robber's fault.

here is the thing about ethics:

the goodness of an action is not based upon how easy or hard it is.

it is easier to rob a disabled child than it is to rob a trained and armed adult. this does not make it ethical to rob the child. this does not make it the child's fault for being robbed.

it may be more tempting to rob $1 mill if the security doesn't look tight. maybe you won't get caught because there are no security cameras.

still the robber's fault if they decide to rob.

so there's your fundamental flaw: it's still not the victim's fault if they get robbed even if they lack security.

...

point the second: consider other crimes.

if we've decided that all crimes are equal -- that we can make conclusions about every other crime based on an analysis of stealing money -- then we're gonna have to cross reference with other crimes.

and, well.

i do not walk around wearing a bulletproof vest.

this does not give you license to shoot me.

i do not carry a gun or a knife.

this does not give you license to shoot me or stab me.

i do not have a security team.

this does not give you license to kill me.

a lack of self-defense does not negate victimhood.

...

point the third: temptation is not an invitation.

i have a functioning heart.

this is not an invitation to abduct me so you can steal my heart to transplant it in someone else or dissect it for study or eat it because you're a cannibal.

doesn't fucking matter how attractive something is or how well-suited you think it'd be to your own ends.

you don't get to be an asshole just because you wanted to.

...

point the fourth: clothing is not a defense.

so let's say those arguments weren't enough. fine. for the sake of argument, i will pretend (for like, five seconds) that stealing is fine, as long as the victim was undefended, and that stealing is the same as rape.

well, then: clothing is not a defense against rape in the first place.

i hate to break it to you, but even IF rapists were deterred by different fashion choices, well, everyone has different tastes.

even when we're talking about discourse over how much exposed skin is acceptable, people will say both "it's a woman's responsibility to be modest" and "maybe men are just staring at you bc that much skin showing is ugly". so... if that kind of bare skin is unattractive to some men, then wouldn't that be a rape deterrent against those men?

i think a lot about my own body: about the fact that i am disabled and generally fucked up. i'd argue that's rather unattractive and un-sexy of me. but the blood and scars that make me (at least conventionally) ugly might be a turn-on for some. the unattractive disabilities might make me an easier target. so no, "ugliness" is not a defense.

(also, subpoint: what if wearing clothes shows that i own clothes and that motivates someone to rob me? guess there's really no winning here.)

...

point the fifth: attention-seeking is not always sex-seeking

"but women wear those outfits to get attention"

have you considered that even if they did, creepy sexual attention is NOT the kind of attention they were seeking?

like. maybe i wear short-sleeves to the hospital to provide easier access to my arms for shots/venipuncture when i am demonstrating healthcare-seeking behavior. yes, i'm dressed in a way to help seek attention for medical purposes. no, that is not an invitation to ogle or rape me.

rape is fundamentally non-consensual. so no, they were not asking for it.

we do not "objectify ourselves" by wearing revealing clothing. you (general "you") objectify us by deciding to think of us as objects.

...

point the sixth: people are not objects.

and here is the kicker, and the argument that should have always been enough:

people are not objects.

it does not matter how big their breasts are. it does not matter whether you can see their thighs. it does not matter how heavy their makeup is.

people are not objects.

even IF stealing was ok as long as the goods were out in the open; even IF stealing was ok as long as the goods looked tempting; even IF stealing was ok as long as it was easy --

people are not objects.

...

TL;DR -- stealing objects is illegal, no matter how easy or tempting.

and even if it wasn't? PEOPLE ARE NOT OBJECTS.

#unedited #i am just pissed #feminism #victim blaming #cw rape culture #ethics #? #idk how to tag this #like this is mostly just me RANTING bc UGHHH #but i don't want to leave any triggers (or just generally blocked tags ppl don't want to see) untagged #idk #definitely tell me if there is a missing cw #anyways goodbYE #tw rape #tw sa #OK ACC LEAVING NOW

[batwynn]

Almost every day I think about that first post I saw a few years ago where someone decided that people enjoying the cuteness of otters needed to be destroyed for the sake of ‘reality’ and ‘facts’. The post was open from start to finish that they were telling you that otters did ‘horrible things’ because they wanted to ‘break the illusion’ or whatever. It was full of language and tone that implied or outright said that people were ‘stupid’ or ‘foolish’ for liking otters, and that they should be punished with this information. This fact. This fact that was a twisted form of humans applying their moral concepts on to wild animals, to begin with, but was also simply being put out in to the world to hurt people for liking that animal. And then I think about how everyone started sharing this ‘fact’, post after post sharing the same tone and language of punishment, of implied ‘stupidity’ for ‘not knowing’. People gleefully commented this ‘fact’ on thousands of otter picture posts, they posted it a million times on the otter fan facebooks, they made tiktoks, they hammered it in over and over again. Don’t like otters. Don’t think they’re cute. They’re Bad™️. You’re a Bad™️ person if you like them. And people genuinely believed that. I saw so many people genuinely hurt by this, who thought they were a bad person and needed to stop liking or sharing otter pictures. Or they’d add a little note at the bottom, ‘I know otters are Bad™️ but I still think they’re cute.’ And I can’t not think about how pointlessly fucked up and cruel that entire thing was from the start, and how manipulative and shitty it was. And how it spun out into the universe until even now, on an otter video posted earlier this year, there’s dozens of comments about how otters are Bad™️ because one person decided that this wild animal doing something that is repugnant to humans, the animal with no knowledge that this is Bad™️ or with malicious intent (because it’s a wild fucking animal), meant they needed to hurt and punish anyone who liked that animal. And, finally, that people were so afraid of being seen as morally wrong/Bad™️ that they destroyed their love for this animal on the word of some fucking rando online without stopping to look internally at their own moral compass and understanding of animal behavior.

#otters #internet culture #moral panic #moral police #internet trolls #tw: ableism #ableist language cw #tw: animals #tw: otters #tw: swearing #cw: stupid #I used that word in quotes because that is the word I frequently saw used in these posts about otters #message me for additional tw tags #anyway just thinking #about people being fucking mean on the internet #yet again #additionally and in case people #think this means I condone rape because they can’t read or comprehend #no I don’t fucking condone rape

[ribstongrowback]

something that radfems fail to understand about rape, is that it's a system

they'll tell you that they do, but if they did, they'd understand why trans women are much more likely to be on the receiving end of it than the other way around, and for this you just need to look at the way rape culture works.

look at bill clinton. look at dominique strauss khan. look at harvey weinstein.

everybody fucking knew.

everybody shut the fuck up.

god was in his bedroom and everything was normal. people understood on a fundamental level that these powerful men could do whatever they want, and whenever they were "exposed" people jumped to their defence because it was normal.

There is a system in place and it is meant to protect specifically white cishet male from repercussions when they commit rape.

specifically white, because POC men are seen as animals.

specifically cis, because trans men are seen as either dangerous butches or weak women who must be saved

specifically het, because gay men are seen as pedophiles

and specifically men, because women can't want sex

I'm focusing on men here, of course, because that's what radfems see us trans women as, so the way rape culture protects cis women from consequences when they do commit rape and the intricacies of that are beyond the scope of this post

what I'm getting at here is that trans women are exempt from this protection because there is nothing normal about a trans woman anywhere other than within a 100% transfem space. a trans woman is expected to be a rapist. if a trans woman rapes someone she is dead. if a trans woman is ever in a grey area situation with anyone she is dead. if a trans woman ever makes someone else uncomfortable she is dead.

trans women face scrutiny at every turn. men don't. men just get to rape people and escape the consequences. their friends will stick by them. the media will comiserate their ruined career while they get million dollar gigs talking about economics or whatever.

a trans woman will have to move back into her parents and into the closet, and die.

that is what sexism, on a political level, on a systemic level, looks like. if you fail to see that, you cannot hope to help any woman.

#feminism #radfems #terfs eat shit and die alone #trans rights #rape culture #rape mention #cw: rape #cw: transphobia

[drfrankensteinvsthequeerborgs]

[Image ID: Kim Kardashian meme with Kim labelled Dean, captions read "I'm like dropping hints that I'm a bottom." "I'm rather have the little green dudes." End ID]

#dfvq liveblog #dfv queue #dfvq spn #spn10x12 #it’s pronounced meme #dean winchester #cw rape culture #knowing way too much about dean’s sex life part ♾ #the truth is out there

[borderline-culture-is]

TW rape

bpd culture is having been raped so many times you have scar tissue inside of you and don’t have full feeling down there anymore but you’re also hypersexual so you consistently injure yourself trying to get stimulation -🧷

.

#borderline culture is #borderline personality disorder #bpd #bpd culture is #bpd culture #bpd safe #actually borderline #actually bpd #tw rape #cw rape #rape cw #rape tw #- 🧷

[ziggy-solarecreator]

#cw rape #tw rape #rape culture #sex based oppression

[vague-humanoid]

“It Wasn’t That Bad” is R@pe Culture

#rape mention cw #csa tw #rape culture #Youtube