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theyanderespecialist · 3 years

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True Master List, Fandom List, And Rules

Hello my sexy readers! You all know Marie my stunning co author. She made her own archives of her own account with her oc which is basically her (aka Marie) she has a very good story for hazbin hotel when Alastor was alive check it out!

https://archiveofourown.org/users/MamaMaries/pseuds/MamaMaries

This idea and writing is all her own and man is it really good new concept even I did not think about! So excited for more!

[Hello My Sexy Readers, this has the master reading list which is a work in progress and the fandoms I will do list and the rules for requests and so on. Enjoy!]

Now there is no way with My Anxiety and such I be able to create a master list the normal way. but I can send links to wattpad and Quotev where you can read ALL The one shots which are organized in different ones. I hope you all enjoy that.

https://www.wattpad.com/story/206301464-yandere-anime-headcanons-scenarios-oneshots

https://www.quotev.com/story/12293375/Yandere-Anime-HeadcanonsScenariosOneshots

https://www.wattpad.com/story/183947183-borderlands-yandere-headcanons-oneshots-scenarios

https://www.quotev.com/story/11815392/Borderlands-Yandere-HeadcanonsOneshotsScenarios

https://www.wattpad.com/story/197426891-yandere-creepypastas-one-shots-head-canons

https://www.quotev.com/story/12108537/Yandere-Creepypastas-One-ShotsHead-CanonsScenarios

https://www.quotev.com/story/13032330/Death-Is-Not-An-Escape-Yandere-Dead-By-Daylight-HeadcanonsOne-shotsScenarios

https://www.wattpad.com/story/239181858-death-is-not-an-escape-yandere-dead-by-daylight

https://www.wattpad.com/story/214294875-yandere-disney-pixar-various-yandere-disney-pixar

https://www.quotev.com/story/12470273/Yandere-DisneyPixar-Various-Yandere-Disney-Pixar-HeadcanonsScenarios

Yandere DC And Yandere Marvel

https://www.quotev.com/story/12007517/Yandere-DC-And-Yandere-Marvel

https://www.wattpad.com/story/220808385-various-fandoms-yandere-one-shots-headcanons

https://www.quotev.com/story/12619156/Various-Fandoms-Yandere-One-ShotsHeadcanonsScenarios

https://www.wattpad.com/story/200350402-ancient-greek-yandere-yandere-greek-mythology

https://www.quotev.com/story/12165737/Ancient-Greek-Yandere-Yandere-Greek-Mythology-HeadcanonsScenariosOneshots

https://www.quotev.com/story/12167034/Yandere-HetaliaNyotalia2p-HeadcanonsScenariosOne-Shots

https://www.wattpad.com/story/200396558-yandere-hetalia-nyotalia-2p-headcanons-scenarios

https://www.quotev.com/story/13778065/Yandere-Hazbin-HotelHelluva-Boss-HeadcanonsOneshotsScenarios

https://www.wattpad.com/story/266870624-yandere-hazbin-hotel-helluva-boss-headcanons

https://www.wattpad.com/story/242852617-yandere-star-wars-headcanons-scenarios-one-shots

https://www.quotev.com/story/13119151/Yandere-Star-Wars-HeadcanonsScenariosOne-Shots

https://www.wattpad.com/story/234962746-yandere-degree-of-lewdity-headcanons-one-shots

https://www.quotev.com/story/13384826/Yandere-Degree-Of-Lewdity-HeadcanonsOne-ShotsScenarios

https://www.wattpad.com/story/169172649-merry-yandere-x-mas-various-yandere-one-shots

https://www.quotev.com/story/11498513/Merry-Yandere-X-MAS-Various-Yandere-One-Shots-Christmas-and-Holiday-Edition

https://www.wattpad.com/story/215192593-yandere-outlast-headcanons-scenarios-possible

https://www.quotev.com/story/12490990/Yandere-Outlast-HeadcanonsScenariosPossible-Oneshots

https://www.wattpad.com/story/193344576-yandere-overwatch-one-shots-headcanons-scenarios

https://www.quotev.com/story/12023937/Yandere-Overwatch-One-ShotsHeadcanonsScenarios

https://www.wattpad.com/story/200388610-yandere-slasher-horror-everything-halloween-themed

https://www.quotev.com/story/12166876/Yandere-SlasherHorror-EverythingHalloween-Themed-HeadcanonsScenariosOneshot

https://www.wattpad.com/story/212576147-yandere-team-fortress-2-various-yandere-team

https://www.quotev.com/story/12432485/Yandere-Team-Fortress-2-Various-Yandere-Team-Fortress-2-HeadcanonsScenarios

now here is a bonus the lists on wattpad of almost every single story I have ever made over 750 stories

https://www.wattpad.com/list/922283303-epicnessqueenco-author-reader-stories

https://www.wattpad.com/list/922283957-epicnessqueenco-author-oc-stories-for-the-oc-mark-or-marie

https://www.wattpad.com/list/922284812-epicnessqueenco-author-ocs-story

EPICNESSQUEEN/Co Author: Oneshots, Headcanons, Scenarios series

https://www.wattpad.com/list/922334325-epicness-queenco-author-reader-stories-2

https://www.wattpad.com/list/969841721-epicnessqueenco-author-oc-stories

And lastly the completed list of stories on wattpad

https://www.wattpad.com/list/922294661-complete-stories-by-epicnessqueenco-author

.No Sex Scene with any characters 16 or younger

.No World Leaders or Real People such as youtubers or Celebrities

.Keep It At Least DUB CON or less

-What You Can Request Supporting Hints-

1: Genders and Genderbents

.You may have the reader be, (Male, Female, No Binary Or Transgender) (If Transgender say born as (Fill in birth gender) Identifies (Fill in Gender they identify as)

.Genderbents you make take a character from the list of fandoms bellow and ask if you want them to be the rule 63 aka genderbent version of themselves (Like with Superman Clark Kent being genderbent to Superwoman Claire Kent and anything else)

2: Sexuality

.You can Have Reader be Any sexuality there is (Straight, Bisexual, Pansexual, Gay, Lesbian, Asexual, and so on)

.Same with Characters from Fandoms. Since they are fiction you may make them any sexuality you want (Kinda obvious a yandere is yandere for whatever gender)

3: Roles and AU's

.You can make reader be anything (From Superhero to royalty, from homeless to Villain anything really may it be headcanons or scenarios I even had one story I made reader a chess champion so anything and everything (Except racist and pedo and rapist Obviously)

.Same with the characters from fandoms (Like I have Made priest characters, Dad characters, professors, serial killers and more, anything excpet those three things is good to go)

.You can do au request of like a fandom in a fantasy world or au's with soulmates and so on.

4: OCS

.Yes yes there is OCS and we do better me and my co author writing smut for them here they are

.Marie (My co author as her oc based off of her)

.Mark (My co author with Rule 63 genderbent of her based of her if she was a man)

.Michelle (My Oc based off of me EpicnessQueen)

5: Poly Relationships AKA Sharing

.Yes you can be in a poly relationship where two or more yanderes are dating each other and have the same darling

.Sharing where to yandere decide to share the same darling

-Headcanons-

.You all know how this goes by now but for anyone new. You can ask for headcanons in many different ways with the rules above and also how they deal with any type of reader like even suicidal or yandere from sharing to single it all works.

-Scenarios-

.You can ask for a scenario like (Darling finds out (List of yanderes you want) is yandere for them or anything really.

-Questions aka Q AND A-

.How would (Insert yandere or yanderes) Be like as yandere, propose what pet names they have for darling and any other questions you have in mind for the yanderes

NOW ONTO THE MASTER LIST OF 2021

-Animes Cartoons-

Hazbin Hotel

Helluva Boss

Bleach (Seen all the anime almost)

Naruto (Seen all the anime)

Naruto Shippudin (Seen a good amount of it)

Tokyo Ghoul (Only in season 1 right now)

Black Butler (Seen most of it)

Ouran High School Host Club (Seen all the anime and manga)

Attack On Titan (Seen First two seasons)

Death Note (Seen Most Of The Anime)

One Piece (Seen a LOT OF IT)

One Punch-Man (Got The Gist Of It)

Fruit Basket (Read all the manga got to watch the new anime)

Rosario Vampire (Seen season 1)

Vampire Knight (Seen all the anime)

Cells at Work (Watching Season 1 now)

Fullmetal Alchemist (Know The Gist of it)

Future Diary (Seen most of it)

Kamigami No Asobi (Seen all of it)

-Horror Themed Ones-

Movies (TV Series will be after)

A Nightmare On Elm Street (Seen Most Of these movies)

Alien (Seen All Of Them)

Alien VS Predator

The Boy

Candyman

Carrie (Only the Original )

Child's Play (Seen the original one in 1988 not the sequels and will now do the remake)

Children Of The Corn

Deep Blue Sea (both)

Dracula

Evil Dead (2013 Remake)

The Exorcist

Final Detestation (Only The Third One)

Frankenstein

Freddy VS Jason (GO JASON!!!!)

Friday The 13th (All of Them)

Get Out

The Grudge

Halloween (Seen Them All)

Hannibal

Hannibal Rising

Harry Potter (All Eight movies)

Hellraiser (All of them but cannot remember most of them)

I know What You Did Last Summer (Seen it once)

IT (Original 2 parts and part 1 of the 2017 remake)

Jaws

Jeepers Creepers (1 and 2)

Meat Train

Orphan (Seen once)

Pet Sematary

The Phantom Of The Opera

Predator (All Of Them)

Prom Night

Psycho (The first and second one)

The Purge (first one)

The Ring (2002)

Saw (All Of Them)

Scream (Just first one)

The Shining

The Silence Of The Lambs

Silent Hill (First One)

Silent Hill (1999)

Split (Yes it is under Horror)

Sweeney Todd: The Demon On Fleet Street (Can't remember which one)

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (All Of Them)

Village of The Damned

When A stranger Calls

The Wolf Man

Wrong Turn (Some of them I cannot remember )

Zombieland

---------

Next the tv shows which is shorter for reasons (Dont question me)

Bates Motel

Buffy The Vampire Slayer

The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina

Hannibal

The Walking Dead

------

Horror Games as I now a lot of you will want that :D

Alice The Madness Returns

Baldi's Basics

Bendy and The Ink Machine (Half of it so far)

Corpse Party (The First One)

Danganropa (all of 1 and some of 2 and 3)

Doki Doki Literature Club

Emily Wants To Play

Five Nights at Freddy (ALL OF THEM)

Hello Neighbor

Little Nightmares

Lucius (The First One)

Mad Father

Misao

Resident Evil 2 (The Remake)

Resident Evil 7

Resident Evil 8 (Currently watching it)

Ride With Strangers

Silent Hill (A Couple of Them)

Unforgiving The Northern Hymen

Until Dawn

We Happy Few

Welcome To The Game (1 and 2)

-Various Other Fandoms-

(Games)

Dream Daddy

Bully

(TV Shows)

Avatar The Last Air Bender (Not The Legend Or Korra)

Grey's Anatomy

Law and Order SVU

Prodigal Son

The Blacklist

Breaking Bad

Criminal Minds

Bones

Sherlock

A Series Of Unfortunate Events

DR. Who

Good Omens

Once Upon A Time

South Park

(Movies)

How To Train Your Dragon (Both Movies and TV and Netflix series)

Rise Of The Guardians

-Dead By Daylight-

all killers most survivors

-Outlast, Outlast Whistlerblower Outlast 2-

all characters

-Overwatch-

all characters playable or not

-Disney/Pixar-

all characters will not do the live action remakes

-Star Wars-

Most characters so far

-Degrees Of Lewdity-

All important non playable characters

-Borderlands-

all

-Greek Gods, Tales and Mythology-

everything even fucking Greek monsters as long as age is met

-hetalia-

all 1ps all 2ps and all their nyotalia and cattalia

-creepypastas-

most of them

-DC And Marvel-

Most of the characters

-Team Fortress 2-

All characters.

Well I think that is it for this year master list I may add to it but this is it right now. Please Enjoy and stay sexy!]

#yandere #yandere various #yandere anime #yandere horror #yandere video games #yandere tv shows #yandere movies #everything yandere #masterlist #yandere masterlist #epicnessqueen #my masterlist #over 700 stories

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buckybabybaby · 4 years

Text

Mr Hollywood (Epilogue Part III)

Summary: Bucky Barnes, an underpaid teaching assistant in a small English village, dreams of a movie career back in his home country of America. He finally gets the break he's always wanted, and if it wasn't for you, his best friend, he wouldn't have been able to take it.

But is that fact enough to save your friendship when it's tested by the pressures of Hollywood?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Reader (Gender Neutral)

Word count: 1532

Chapter summary: The peace of normality, for once.

A/n: Probably the last epilogue, but who can say?! I think this rounds if off nicely though...

(If the picture is all blurry, opening it in a new tab in browser helps!)

Warnings: Just fluff.

Previous: Epilogue Part II

Mr Hollywood Masterlist | Main Masterlist

*****

“Do you mind it when Mr Barnes kisses other people?”

You don't have to look up to know Isabella is staring across your desk at you, eager to know the answer. Her younger sister Emilia has also drifted in to your classroom this evening, dragging with her a box full of building blocks, and is currently creating a mini town on your window sill and ignoring everything else, not quite old enough to be interested in gossip.

If you can call it gossip. Even with Bucky's dramatics over the month you spent in America, the paparazzi didn't catch on to anything and you returned to England and your work just as anonymous as you left.

That doesn’t mean, however, that curious little eight year olds can't figure out that something has changed between you and him. Edwin and his wife Ana both work full time, which isn't usually a problem as the two girls attend after-school clubs most days of the week, and even on Fridays when there aren't any running it's still not a problem as there is plenty to keep them occupied while they wait to be picked up. The music room seems to be a favourite of theirs, the lure of bashing around on the drums or piano unsupervised too hard to resist, but more often that not recently they can be found with you.

Isabella's continuing. “And do you make him clean his teeth before he kisses you afterwards?”

You laugh, still surprised at how direct she is. It only took her a couple of minutes to wrangle out the truth about you and Bucky on you the first day back, and so far it seems like she's stuck to her vow of keeping it to herself, in exchange for stories of your time in Hollywood.

She's still talking. “Does his character kiss other people? I haven't seen the show, daddy says I can watch it when I'm a little bit older.”

“Your daddy's probably right,” You say, not answering her other questions.

That doesn't stop her asking, “Will you get married to him now?”

“We'll have to see.”

“Will daddy get an invite to your wedding? 'Cos then I could come too! Emilia's too small but I could come, couldn't I?”

“Don't get too excited, Isabella. Nothing will happen for a few years yet, probably.”

Resting her head on her crossed arms, her brow furrows in obvious disappointment and you feel guilty.

You can't have that. “Tell you what.” Holding out your hand, you offer her your little finger and she wraps her own much smaller one around it with a grin. “When we get married, I'll make sure you get an invite, okay?” She gasps happily, and you add, “And one for Emilia, because I'm not planning on marrying him any time soon so she'll be old enough by then.”

“If you wait a few more years then the new baby can come too!” Isabella's hands clap over her mouth as you both realise what she's said. “I wasn't meant to say!”

You feign confusion. “Say what?”

She slumps back into her seat in relief, giggling quietly when you wink at her.

Then a soft knock interrupts from the classroom door and you look up to find Ana leaning against the frame. Not so subtly you glance at her tummy, trying to see if you can make out a bump, and from the look on her face, she notices.

Isabella and Emilia jump up at her arrival, gathering up their belongings as she comes to perch on your desk.

“I'm guessing she told you?”

“In her defence, it was an accident.”

Ana shakes her head fondly as she watches her oldest collecting her pens and zipping them away in her bag. “We didn't really expect her to not too. We're in the process of telling people so it doesn't really matter, and I'm just so pleased she's excited.”

Her daughters have finished fastening their coats and are hovering by the door, tired now after a long week and more than ready for dinner and bed.

“Thank you for looking after them.”

You whisper your congratulations as you hug her goodbye, waving as they leave, and you've nearly packed up your own book bag when you're interrupted again.

“This place really doesn't change, huh?”

Spinning around, you're met with the most beautiful sight you can imagine on a Friday evening. Bucky, taking advantage of a break between his scenes to visit you for the first time since the summer, is stood in your doorway in the outfit he tends to wear every time he travels, and before you can stop yourself you're skipping across the room and into his arms.

“I thought I was picking you up from the airport?” You mumble against his shoulder.

He shrugs and holds you closer. “Got an earlier flight. So I thought I'd come and surprise you.”

“You're the best sort of surprise I could ask for,” You admit. “If you'd been here ten minutes ago you could've also surprised your biggest fan.”

“Edwin's daughter, 'bella?”

“Yeah. She's first on the guest list when we get married, too.”

He leans back slightly to catch your eye, grinning widely. “Oh, it's 'when' now, is it? Not 'if'? That's encouraging.”

Your smile matches his. “But we'll have to wait until both of her siblings are old enough to attend too, I've made a solemn promise I couldn't possibly break.”

Bucky frowns. “Both her-oh, a new baby?”

“Yep.”

“And you don't want screaming babies ruining your big day?”

“Nope. Well, not ideally.”

“So, three to four years is how long we've got to wait?”

“If you're prepared to?”

Bopping your nose, he slides his lips briefly across yours. “Don't worry doll, I'm a very patient man.”

*****

“He's going to spoil your little girl rotten, I hope you know that.”

Sat on one side of your lounge with Sophia, you watch Bucky on the other side of the room cradle week old Amelia like she's make of tissue paper. The timing of his trip back 'home' is perfect as his baby niece was born just days ago, a much easier birth than her older brother so the whole family's able to come round to your house for the afternoon when she's still so young.

“Well, not rotten,” You acknowledge. “Never rotten, not one of your children, but he's still going to absolutely treasure her like he does Benjamin.”

“I know. I don't really think there's anything I can do to stop him.”

“Nah, you've just got to embrace it.”

“And what about you? Does he spoil you too?”

You flush at the knowing look she gives you. “He tries to.”

Not elaborating nor giving her a chance to pry any further, you get up and saunter over to admire the newborn, sitting next to Bucky on the sofa as Dayton slips away back to his wife, leaving the two of you alone for a minute.

Bucky turns to you. “Do you want to hold her?”

“Oh, er-”

“Here.” He holds Amelia out to you carefully. “Just keep her head supported and she'll be fine.”

“O-Okay.”

Waiting until you settle comfortably, he then passes you the precious bundle. You're tense at first, terrified of holding her incorrectly and causing her pain, but when she doesn't stir in your arms, you sink back into the sofa and watch her sleep. She looks almost exactly like her brother did when he was born, just that the soft hair across her forehead is darker, the same colour as her father as opposed to Benjamin's blonder curls, matching his mothers.

“She's so tiny,” You murmur in awe.

Bucky nods, smiling down at her when she stretches. “But she won't be for long. Which is yet another reason to come back more often.”

*****

It may be October half-term, but with the sun shining down it's warm enough to enjoy the fresh air in the garden, at least for a little while. Benjamin drags himself away from his little sister long enough to offer the chickens some corn, and under the watchful eye of both his parents he hesitantly holds out his hand to them, even after you warn him their beaks may hurt. Just like his dad and uncle, he loves a challenge.

Bucky guides you away from the others, ambling around the edge of the borders as he tells you about his and Sam’s latest antics, finally stopping at the base of the apple tree that holds so many memories.

“I miss you Y/N.”

“I'm right here.”

“I know, but when I'm gone, I-” He pauses, sighing. “I wish it could be like this all the time.”

“Me too.”

“I was thinking, for the next project, I could find a role a bit closer to you. Maybe a British production?”

“You shouldn't limit yourself for me.”

“No. But if something came up...”

“Then that would be very nice.”

“Wouldn't it?”

He holds you tight as he kisses you in a sunny patch under the slowly yellowing leaves, and you know that, whatever comes your way, as long as you have moments like this nothing will ever tear you two apart.

*****

Epilogue Part IV (Final!)

*****

A/n 2: if this is this last part I just wanna thank everyone who read and commented on this over the last eight months! It's been quite a while, so if you've stuck with it, thank you!! Once again I find it hard to let go when I feel like I've built a little safe family around Bucky, but there's always more stories to write, and different ways for him to fall in love with y/n, so watch this space ;)

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky imagine #bucky barnes imagine #buckybabybaby #Mr Hollywood

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remywrites5 · 5 years

Note

1. with spideypool or wolfstar, please? ❤️

Hi! I hope you meant number one for the Halloween prompts because that’s what I did. If it wasn’t just let me know and I’ll write you something else!

******************

Wade could not believe he hadn’t realized it was Halloween. That’s what he got for being stuck in Monaco on a job for over a month. He’d been to three different stores and all of them only had black licorice and candy corn left. Wade wasn’t about to give those out. He’d get on the bad side of the children and who knew what they’d do then? Children were terrifying.

Wade went into a Walgreens and prayed for something that wasn’t shit. His prayers were apparently answered because standing by the register was none other than Peter Parker (aka Spider-man, aka Wade’s not so heterosexual man crush, aka dat ass). “Please tell me you have some candy left?” Peter asked, pushing his glasses up his nose. Wade wished he didn’t have such a thing for hot nerds because Peter was currently working it.

Wade quickly dashed towards the candy aisles and grabbed up the last few bags of stuff that were chocolate and not The Worst TM . He had just finished bundling them into his arms when Peter joined him. “Wade?” Peter called out, crossing his arms over his chest. “Please tell me you didn’t just take the last of the edible candy.”

“So what if I did?” Wade asked, hoarding it close to him. “Finders keepers, baby boy.”

Peter sighed. “Okay Wade, what do you want?”

Wade shifted uncomfortably. “What do you mean?”

“For the candy,” Peter said, flicking his chin towards the bag in Wade’s arms. “I promised my Aunt I’d get it and I completely forgot. So unless you want my sweet Aunt’s house to get egged, you will at least hand over one of those bags of candy. Just name your price.”

Wade looked down at the bags and then back up to Peter. “Come over tonight,” he said after weighing his options. Asking for a kiss felt a little to creepy, even for Wade, and he didn’t want to go too small with his request. He’d never have this kind of power over Peter again so he might as well take advantage.

Peter’s eyes widened behind his glasses. “That’s…not what I was expecting,” he told Wade honestly. He scratched his chin; a little bit of stubble growing there and Wade couldn’t help awing to himself that his baby boy was growing up. “Okay, fine. I promised I’d help my Aunt pass out candy for a while but I could come over around eight?”

It was Wade’s turn to be surprised. He had never thought in a million years Peter would actually go for it. “Really?”

“Sure,” Peter said, shrugging his shoulders. “Now hand some of that over, you candy hog, and don’t even think about just giving me the milk duds. I’m watching you.”

Wade laughed and handed over a bag of Snickers and a bag of Kit Kats. “You know where I live, right baby boy?”

Peter nodded. “Had to drag your ass there enough times,” he joked with a grin. He turned around and Wade absolutely took the opportunity to stare at Pete’s ass. “See you at eight!”

***

Wade was a nervous wreck. It had taken an hour arguing with himself about whether to wear his mask or not. Peter had seen his real face before but that didn’t mean he wanted his hideousness on full display. But Petey had mentioned other times he didn’t mind the face, whether he was just being a sweet kid or not. Finally Wade decided on no mask with the right to change his mind after Peter showed up.

He’d ordered a pizza for them and had eaten most of the candy himself to keep from eating the pizza. He wanted eight o’clock to come sooner but was also absolutely dreading it. It was his one opportunity to be super fucking cool and hang out with Spider-man. It wasn’t as if their studios played well together anyway.

Eight o’clock rolled around and Peter wasn’t there. Wade felt crushed that he’d gotten his hopes up. Of course Peter wasn’t going to come around to his shitty apartment and hang out with him. He’d just been saying that to get Wade to give up the candy.

Wade looked around his dingy apartment and thought about killing himself in front of some kids to give them a good Halloween scare. He was just about to go find his gun when there was a knock on the door. Wade grabbed the last few scraps of candy (milk duds of course because eww) ready to throw them at the kids at the door.

Instead he found Peter standing there looking soft and cute in a t-shirt with a pumpkin face on it. “Trick or treat,” he said with a small smile.

Wade held out his hand and offered Peter the candy. Peter’s nose wrinkled in distaste and Wade thought it was the cutest fucking thing he’d ever seen. “Sorry baby boy, it’s all that’s left. But I’ve got pizza if you’re interested.”

Peter slid his way into Wade’s apartment. “That sounds good,” he said, walking over to the kitchen counter and grabbing himself a slice.

“It would have been warmer if you’d been here on time,” Wade grumbled, shuffling his feet against the carpet.

“I don’t mind cold pizza,” Peter said around the bite in his mouth. “Besides I get held up with my Aunt. I tried to call you but the number I have is disconnected.”

“Oh yeah,” Wade said, scratching the back of his head. “I change numbers a lot.”

Peter hummed thoughtfully and continued to eat his pizza. Wade grabbed a slice and picked at it, having stuffed himself on candy with his nervous eating. He still couldn’t believe Peter Parker was in his apartment, willfully, eating pizza and carrying on a conversation like it was no big deal. “Wanna watch a scary movie or something?” Peter asked, breaking Wade out of the internal argument he had been having.

“Sure!” Wade said, bounding over to the sofa and sitting down. To his surprise, Peter came over and lay down sideways on the sofa, his feet dangling off the end and his head in Wade’s lap. “P-Petey?”

“I’m exhausted, Wade,” Peter informed him with a yawn, stretching his long lanky body like a cat. “You don’t mind, do you?”

“Nope,” Wade said, shaking his head emphatically. “Not a care in the world. Just, you know, don’t think less of me if I get an erection because your face is like right there.”

Peter laughed. “I won’t hold it against you, Wade. I know you think I’m sexy.”

Wade sputtered. “You’re not sexy, you’re cute.”

Peter raised a knowing eyebrow. “Is that why you were staring at my ass today in the store? Because you think I’m cute?”

“Damn your spidey-sense,” Wade said, curling his hand into a fist and shaking it as if cursing the heavens.

Peter laughed again and Wade took it as a personal victory. Most other heroes never laughed at his jokes. Most heroes never gave him the time of day. At least Peter was kind enough to tolerate Wade. “Comes in handy,” Peter murmured, sliding his hand up and cupping the back of Wade’s head. Before he knew what was happening, Wade was bending over, being led by Peter and their lips were touching and oh.

Wade broke the kiss and stared down at Peter incredulously. “What’d you do that for, Petey?”

Peter shrugged. “Been thinking about it since the store this morning,” he murmured softly. “Thought maybe you would ask me for a kiss in exchange for the candy.”

“Blackmailing heroes into sexual favors isn’t really my thing,” Wade said, shifting on the sofa because hello Mr. Erection nice of you to join us. “Or at least I would never do that to you. Wolverine, maybe.”

Peter grinned. “Does it count as blackmail if I really wanted to kiss you?”

“Had an inkling to make out with the outside of a cantaloupe, did you spidey?” Wade quipped, confused by what was going on. He hadn’t hit his head at some point had he? Maybe he really had killed himself and this was just a wonderful dream as his body mended itself.

Peter sighed and let his thumb graze over Wade’s cheek. “Maybe I like you more than I let on,” he said quietly, staring up at Wade. “Maybe over the past month I’ve missed the way you’re always interrupting my missions just to flirt with me.”

Wade tentatively reached out and brushed his hand over Peter’s stomach, feeling the muscles underneath his t-shirt. It sure felt real enough. Wade slipped his hand under Peter’s shirt and felt the warmth of his skin. Peter was biting his bottom lip and his cheeks had gone pink.

“I am aces at flirting,” Wade managed to joke, playing with the bit of hair on Peter’s stomach leading downwards into the danger zone.

Peter smiled. “Most of the time I’m glad I’m wearing a mask because you make me blush like crazy.”

“I like it when you blush,” Wade told him, cupping Peter’s cheek with his free hand. “It’s cute as fuck.” Peter pulled Wade down into another kiss and if this was just his mind playing tricks on him he would happily never take another treat in his life. “Please be real.”

Peter smiled against Wade’s lips. “I’m real,” he whispered softly.

“Yeah, well, this isn’t the first time I’ve hallucinated making out with you, Spidey.”

“And how long do those hallucinations usually last?”

“An hour, maybe two.”

“We spend that whole time just kissing?” Peter asked, looking skeptical.

Wade shook his head. “The you in my mind is filthy.”

Peter laughed. “You said an hour or two, right? Well put on a movie and when it’s done in an hour or two and I’m still here, you’ll know I’m not a hallucination.”

Wade beamed at him. “You’re so smart, Petey.” Wade flipped through Netflix and put on Scream. Wade continued to let his fingers dance over Peter’s skin, memorizing each scar that he could see.

“Wade,” Peter whined, wiggling when Wade accidentally touched a ticklish spot. “You’re not watching the movie.”

“I’d rather watch you, baby boy.”

Peter chuckled. “You can watch me later,” he said, lacing his fingers through Wade’s so they were holding hands.

“Promise, Petey?”

Peter nodded. “I promise. Now shh, this is the good part.”

Wade turned his attention to the screen for a moment before being distracted by Peter again. As the credits rolled, Peter was still there, on his sofa, real and soft and warm. Wade hadn’t woken up from some kind of dream. Peter was still holding his hand.

“Told you I was real,” Peter teased, giving Wade’s hand a squeeze.

“It’s a Halloween miracle!”

Peter laughed. “I don’t think that’s a thing.”

“Sure it is, baby boy,” Wade said, wiggling his eyebrows. “Now, trick of treat?”

“Treat,” Peter said, already meeting Wade halfway for another kiss.

If that wasn’t a fucking Halloween miracle, Wade didn’t know what was.

#spideypool #spiderman x deadpool #i write things #fluff #halloween prompt #suicidal thoughts tw

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thisislizheather · 4 years

Text

July Jiffs 2020

This was me all month.

The key word being was. We bought an air conditioner! We’ve been an A/C-free family for some time now, but since we’re spending so much time at home, we figured now was the time to be cool. In other news, everything still blows! What a shock! Here’s how I spent July.

I didn’t even know another Halloween movie was being made but of course I’ll go see it even if it turns out to be trash, you gotta support classic horror franchises, that’s just basic horror etiquette 101.

This is the most basic, boring-sounding sandwich on planet earth, but it tastes incredible I promise you (I didn’t add bacon, but I did add fresh mozzarella) and whatever bread you use, it’ll still be great. I find myself constantly forgetting about the greatness of mayo because I, my dear, am an idiot.

I ordered a bunch of new address labels on Zazzle because they were having a Christmas in July sale, so I bought some seasonally inspired labels to use over the next few months. If you’re not seasonally co-ordinating your return address labels, are you even living?

I’m still doing Nathan’s podcast on Patreon incase you’re interested. (You can find more clips on his Instagram.)

I attempted to watch the new Baby-Sitter’s Club on Netflix and it’s really not meant for me. I was never into the books or the movie or any of it, I never liked the idea of kids caring about making money, it seemed too sad to me. “Just be a kid!” I’d always thought.

Speaking of childhood nostalgia, I have started to watch reruns online of Sweet Valley High, which I loved as a kid. It’s no Breaker High, but it’s still pretty great to rewatch. God, Jessica really was an absolute bitch.

Some other things that I’ve rewatched: Con Air (practically a perfect movie, will always love, *Nic Cage forever* might be the only tattoo I’d ever get), Supermarket Sweep is on American Netflix and I was so excited (for about three episodes) then I moved on with my life, Sleepless in Seattle (still a very nice, average, reliable movie), Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure (actually a really great summer movie, will always be a fun time to watch, will forever be a huge Keanu fan, I just feel like I could trust him??), and Dick Tracy (will always love this movie even if it has eight million too many montages, the set design is gorgeous, and this one outfit that Madonna wears makes me question… everything).

Some new movies that I’ve watched: Always Be My Maybe (so, so great! How did it take me so long to see this! So many good scenes, such a good movie), The Karate Kid (insane that I hadn’t seen it before, kids were uncomfortably mean in the 80s, favourite part was when Mr. Miyagi beats up the children, great movie), The Stepfather (pretty fun time, so happy we’ve starting watching horror movies again), Eat Pray Love (ugh, I don’t know, I do love movies about women just leaving and doing fun shit alone and abandoning their lives, but this was pretty lame, I hated James Franco’s character more than life and truly didn’t understand how Julia Roberts was even briefly into him), and finally the original The Hills Have Eyes (which I loved weirdly enough despite being incredibly tense the entire movie, I just thought it was so well done and scary and incredible, the rape scene is of course awful and I shut my eyes for that part, but that was the only thing I hated, it doesn’t make sense that I liked this movie so much).

I don’t know how to word this, but something is off with the reasonably priced (and almost too cheap) parmesan sold at Trader Joe’s. It melts weird. It doesn’t taste like normal cheese. Something is afoot and I won’t buy it any longer. I’m truly dreading and equally anticipating the day that all of Trader Joe’s secrets are exposed. Be warned.

That being said, obviously I’m in love with the seasonal summer candles that TJ just released. We have a complicated relationship.

I made this gruyere mac and cheese with caramelized onions (I used almond milk and it still came out good) and can every recipe just include caramelized onions? The world is ending, let’s just put sweet, tiny, brown onions on everything and call it a day.

Ennio Morricone passed away last month and I find myself listening to the Cinema Paradiso soundtrack on repeat.

Read this great piece about summer blockbuster movies which also has just some great ideas for movies to rewatch right now.

I have to remember that Essie’s vibrant colours just f-ing suck. Only their muted/bland colours are good. They should really just stick to those. And if you’re looking for loud colours that stand out, the summer collection at Urban Outfitters is my go-to (and there’s always a 3 for $10 sale with them).

I listened to Taylor Swift’s new album and so far my favourites are definitely: the 1 and this is me trying.

Ugh, Astoriaaaaaa, DO BETTER.

I’ve been thinking about cancelling my Ipsy subscription again (because I think I don’t care about makeup at this current moment in time) and when I logged on to cancel, they let me choose one of the items being sent next month as if they knew I wanted to leave! So I chose a Sunday Riley product (because any sample I’ve tried from them, I’ve loved) so maybe I’ll cancel next month?

I tried a sample of Drunk Elephant’s shampoo & conditioner (which smelled so lovely) and my hair did seem softer the next day. There’s something about this brand though, I feel like they might be tricking us with their beautiful packaging and minimalist persona.

I bought and tried the ancient Biore Strips and I have absolutely no idea if they did what they’re supposed to do. Are you supposed to see the blackheads or whiteheads come off onto the strip? It felt like it just tried to peel my face off. No idea what’s going on with these.

I have been in love with the Peter Thomas Roth Correction Pads, I use one pad before bed each night and I think they’re doing something good because I always wake up with no new pimples. It has even started erasing all of the redness I’ve been experiencing lately from the summer heat and sweat and mask-wearing. At this point, I can definitely see myself rebuying when I run out, and if I do then I’ll definitely not get them from Sephora because you can get them way cheaper at other online retailers.

I’ve also started using this Dr. Dennis Gross All-In-One face cleanser and I think it’s a good one. It’s hard to tell because I started using it the same day at the correction pads I mentioned above (yes that was a bad idea but here we are), so maybe they’re working together to make my face good? We’ll revisit this.

I finally opened up this Belif set I bought a few months ago and it’s really nothing special. I think the face cream is probably the best item in there because you truly don’t need to use a lot to feel moisturized. But the face cleanser? Meh. I don’t think it does very much, it definitely didn’t help any redness. And the toner? Don’t get me started on how I kind of think toner might be a scam. And the “eye moisturizer”? Seems superfluous. My eye area is plenty moist, thanks.

Perfect summer soap scent: Fresh Rainfall. If I can’t travel this year, I will escape into this scent. (Send help.)

Very excited to hear about Lindy West’s new book.

So I heard that Lady M now ships their cakes to Canada and I was able to scream in excitement for approx. four seconds before looking into it and seeing that it’ll cost you over $100 to get ONE cake sent. THE GALL, I tell you. THE GALL.

I briefly looked into the app Sweatcoin after hearing good things, but it really just seems like an app where its main goal is to track you. And yes, your phone already does that whether you’re aware or not, but I think I’ll pass on the extra tracking.

I heard that the upcoming Halloween Bob’s Burgers episode will “follow the kids as they try to deliver a burger to the hotel on their street.” It’s such a sad little bit of tiny information, but I love their seasonal episodes so much that I’ll take any crumbs available.

Actually helpful tips on how to clean your home efficiently.

Christ, why do I keep forgetting that Bareburger is absolutely nothing special? Why in the good fuck is it taking so long for a Shake Shack to come to Astoria?!

I ate on the patio at Hoja Santa in Astoria and the tacos were nothing to write home about. The service, drinks and chips were outstanding though, so I may have just ordered badly.

New favourite beer alert.

Best tweets of the month over here.

I tried Thai iced coffee and it was so wildly sweet and too aromatic, I probably wouldn’t get it again. And I also tried a Vietnamese iced coffee and it was the perfect level of sweet! What’s the difference between the two, you ask?

I finally tried the katsu sandwich at Hi-Collar as takeout in the East Village and it was absolutely nothing special. No idea why people are so into it.

I haven’t been to Bite in so many months, so it was nice to get takeout earlier this week. God how I’ve missed their ciabatta bread. They use it on their sandwiches and it comes from Balthazar each morning and it’s always heavenly.

I have found the perfect, light summer blanket and I’m trying not to focus on the fact that it came from Amazon.

I tried a grapefruit shandy and holy shit, it might be my favourite new summer drink.

I ate on the patio at L’Artusi since it just reopened and good god, that carbonara will change you. So psyched to see they have the wagyu steak tartare on the menu now, too. The burger, the panzanella salad and the charred corn were all great, but that carbonara was the standout.

Some things I’d like to do this month: I’d love to try this tomato toast with blue cheese mayo, I’m going to start using a new clothes steamer I just bought with the hopes of getting rid of my iron & ironing board, I rebought a tube of Revitalash because of how great my lashes were looking when I used it a few years ago so I’ll start using it on August 1st and track my progress to prove how great this product is, I can’t wait for Moesha to be coming to Netflix this month, and I am waiting waiting waiting until I can find time to return to Lilia (on the patio) to eat this incredible tomato focaccia & garlic butter (shown below).

If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in June over here.

#monthly post #this is liz heather #Liz Heather #July 2020

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anonthenullifier · 5 years

Note

Do you think Tommy and Billy would ever given a tour of Stark Industries? I mean their Dad did technically help run it in a previous life.

Thanks for the ask! I don’t think this is what you were looking for, but it is the first thing that came to my mind after reading your ask. I do apologize if the characterization is off at all, I don’t usually write from either of the twin’s perspectives but it was the only way to do this story . Hope you enjoy!

“And now we move into what many consider the true heart of the tour,” a peppy smile goes with a peppy wave of her arms and the impressively uniformed pep in the tour guide’s step, “the hall of heroes.”

“Kill me now,” Tommy groans next to him, mood perpetually spiraling downward for the last hour, “please just blink me out of this reality.”

The field trip isn’t that bad. Well, it’s not great, but it could be worse, like the time they went to the wastewater plant and there was a leak. “This is the last room.” It is also, admittedly, the worst room to be in as children of Avengers. Being in a shrine devoted to worshipping your parents and family while surrounded by peers that already view you differently kind of sucks.

“We’re at Stark Industries,” Billy waits for his brother to make some sort of point, shrugging off the aggravation in his voice and inspecting the first generation uniforms of their parents. The plaque has an asterisk that leads the eye down to a note stating all uniforms on display are originals, graciously donated by the heroes except for The Vision’s (Billy frowns at the unneeded The) which is a replica due to the still unexplained power he has to shift molecules.

Tommy begrudgingly joins in staring at the uniforms, “This crap is not what we should be seeing. We’re not fucking tourists.”

“Language.”

Dad has been trying, and failing miserably, to curb impolite language, so when he is not around, Billy takes joy in turn-coating his allegiance and policing it. “Oh bugger off, traitor.” They both laugh at the loophole they discovered early on. If dad doesn’t realize they’re cussing, then they can do it freely, until mom stares them down, anyway. “I’m serious, I want to see the top secret stuff, not,” he flings his hands out at the post-Thanos uniforms, “this.”

They’ve listened to their grandpa wax poetically about his innovations, sat dumbfounded at the technical questions from both their dad and their other science minded relatives. There is so much more than old Iron Man uniforms and the ten different shields good ole Captain America has used to protect freedom. “Mom and dad are meeting us at the end, we could just ask-“

Tommy recoils at the comment, side-eying him the same way you would a person espousing mind control through frozen corn kernels on the street corner (though that actually ended up partially correct and led to a few months without corn in the house and deep, empty looks on their parents’ faces). “You trying to steal the funkiller crown from dad?” Hands turn Billy toward a small, gray door with a white and red sign stating Authorized Personnel Only. “You know the good stuff is back there.”

“No,” even if they can easily distract the chaperones and slip away from their classmates, it’s not worth it. “In less than a day, I get to go with Teddy on a houseboat.”

Tommy’s unempathetic stare is typical when matters of his relationship come up, “And…?”

“And I’m not risking it.”

Billy moves on to the current day display (all replicas), fingers tapping through the buttons on a screen introducing him to the training rooms and the Stark tech that is changing not just the world but universes too. Unfortunately the twin devil on his shoulder follows. “We won’t get caught.”

“We get caught 91.35% of the time,” a stat so graciously computed by dad three weeks ago when Tommy ran (literally) out and got them Taco Bell for lunch and then proceeded to proudly eat his chalupa in front of the teacher monitoring the lunchroom.

A scoff signals this fight is nowhere near done, “One, even dad admits his computation is flawed,” a margin of error assumed of plus or minus five percent for instances of misconduct that went fully undetected, “and two, that means we have a ten percent shot at success.” This is said as if ten percent is equatable to seventy five.

“Or we don’t and I have a hundred percent shot at a weekend without mom and dad.”

“Traitor.” Tommy shoves him out of the way, taking over control of the interactive display. “Yo display lady.”

A pleasant, lightly accented voice streams from the luminescent screen, “How may I help you?”

“Where are these rooms?”

A three second lag exists between the question and response, “Official training rooms are located at the Avengers compound, while beta-testing and highly complex simulations are housed here at Stark industries.”

Tommy stares at him, assuming this is somehow convincing. “No.”

“How many records are held by Vision?”

More silence and then the screen displays a table of dates and times, “Vision,” no The this time, likely because it was programmed by grandpa, “has eight time trial records across the two facilities.”

Another look from his brother implies this is all they need to know. Billy shakes his head. “And Scarlet Witch?”

The screen dissolves before providing new information. “Scarlet Witch has five records for time and three for amount of damage caused.”

“Go, mom!” Tommy is always more impressed by damage than time, something Steve has issues handling in their own training with the Young Avenger Initiative. “What about as a team?”

It’s to the credit of Tony’s programming that the AI understands the request in relation to the prior two questions. “Scarlet Witch and Vision, as a team, hold ten time records and eight damage records, including a combined record on training course Twenty Three, level of difficulty Wish You Were Never Born that has gone unchallenged for over eleven years.”

“Unchallenged.”

A smarmy confidence rests in Tommy’s eyes and finally the logic of his questioning clicks. “No way.”

Tommy glares at him before returning to the screen, “Where’s that course?”

“Course Twenty Three is located here at Stark Industries.”

There’s something infuriatingly infectious about his brother’s need to rebel as a means of satisfying his drive to surpass others. It’s so tempting to say yes, but Billy digs his heels in, refusing to go along yet again with one of Tommy’s plans that, though always fun, never have fun consequences and dammit, he wants to spend the weekend with Teddy. “Not a chance.”

Exasperation fills every inch of Tommy’s flail. They move on and the silence is nice, if not a bit unsettling. “Question.”

Billy makes sure his annoyance is firmly on display. “What?”

“Would you rather try and break their record or,” a lightning fast push spins Billy around, “watch Cody manhandle mom?” Mortification gnaws at his resolve, their classmate groping the mannequin from the brief time the Scarlet Witch wore a leotard and tights. It’s when Cody makes direct eye contact with them and starts pantomiming his intentions that Billy’s hands snap shut, blue energy tingling under his skin. “You take him down, guarantee that houseboat is gone.” An arm loops amicably around his shoulder, pivoting him towards the authorized access door. “We go see the good stuff and you have slightly better odds.” Billy is turned back to Cody, who has only grown more vigorous in his lewd gesticulating, “No houseboat,” and then back to the door as if there are only two options, “or a shit ton of fun and possibly a houseboat.”

Billy sighs and Tommy’s mouth tips into a beaming smile. “Fine.” Immediately his mind starts justifying the decision, an 8.65% chance not the worst odds in the world, plus, if they aren’t in the room when the prototype of the next-gen Iron Man happens to fall on Cody, then no one can point at him as the culprit.

Wordlessly they carry out the escape, Billy always taking on the role of distraction through subtle manipulations of perceived reality and Tommy gleefully vibrating his molecules to slip through the wall and open the door. “Let’s go.”

For some reason, he had assumed walking through the door would be like that one movie they watched, with the oompa-loompas, a door opening and a world beyond imagination appearing before them -flying suits, disappearing materials, explosions, scientists in white coats and blue gloves. Instead it’s just a hallway with beige walls and linoleum floors and doors lining the way. “So, what’s the plan?”

A thrilled, unconcerned lift of his brother’s shoulders drops their chances of success at least a percent, “Walk like we own the place and see what we find.” It’s sadly not his worst plan.

And walk they do, Tommy’s chest puffed out and arms swinging in casual authority. Technically, they sort of own some of the place, via dad’s stake in the company, so it’s not like they are being overly deceptive. Each hallway looks the same, making it difficult to track exactly where they are going, until they find another door stating Credentials Required and a face scanner affixed to the wall. Tommy doesn’t even hesitate in shimmying through the wall, so Billy follows, hands parting the space in front of him so he can walk through, closing reality behind him with some hesitation, certain there have to be cameras somewhere tracking them.

That concern is tossed aside because now they find the cinematic reveal, an open hangar in front of them with some sort of alien-esque ship on the ground and four floors of glass doored, luminescent laboratories spanning the reach of their eyes. “The good stuff.” This is far better than replica uniforms. “Let’s go find the simulation.”

“But look at this stuff!”

The self-confidence he had admired earlier also goes hand-in-hand with a tendency for fixation. “Yeah, I see it.”

Billy does his best to keep pace with his twin, who has a habit of speeding up his walk when excited while forgetting other people can’t move nearly as fast. That combined with Billy’s desire to peer into every lab space and marvel at the work, makes their trip stream by incomprehensibly. He thinks he saw a phasing suit, maybe a new particle generator, some sort of extraterrestrial looking staff, a portal to a mountain side, what he thinks might be a baby raptor, and also their grandma, who he usually loves seeing but pulled Tommy out of view before she could spot them. “Do you have any idea where you’re going?”

“Nope.”

“Fantastic.”

“Where are you going?”

The voice is instantly recognizable, one they’ve grown up hearing and it’s a little judgmental and a little bit amused. Tommy swings around and puts on the fakest innocent smile the world has ever seen. “Hey, Grandpa!”

Tony smirks, unconvinced by the tone of the greeting, but he isn’t angry, which is a good start. “How are my favorite rebels doing?”

“Great, on a field trip.” Billy is in awe of people like Tommy and Tony who can act so natural, can just ooze bravado and a sense of entitlement on a whim.

There is a nod and a contemplative droop of his goatee. “Seems you got lost.”

Tommy nods along, “Yeah, been trying to find our classmates, have you seen them?”

Now Tony chuckles, slapping his hands together, giddy at the lie but still showing no signs of annoyance or reprimand. “I have not, but I imagine they can’t phase through walls like you two can.” Billy, personally, wilts at the calling out, while Tommy shrugs again, matching Tony’s stance and attitude. “What do you two want to see?”

“What?” It comes out before Billy can catch it, surprised at the quick approval of their misdeeds.

“I asked what you wanted to see,” Tony stares at them, concerned he has somehow slipped into another language, “There has to be a reason you barged through my walls.” Learning to function in both the superhero world and just being a teenager with parents who have rules you don’t agree with, requires an ability to spot entrapment, certain phrases purposely worded as openings for waltzing right into admonishment. When neither of them take the bait, Tony acts hurt, a shake of his head and a pained, expertly acted, clutched chest. “I thought I was the cool, eccentric grandfather,” a smile threatens to wash away Billy’s anxiety as Tony continues in pantomimed betrayal. “Is it Thor? Would you tell Thor what you want? I mean, I don’t blame you, those gorgeous, puppy dog eyes are a killer.” A snigger from Tommy and all apprehension leaves the atmosphere, Tony’s toothy grin absolving all guilt of their sneaking around. “Seriously, what do you want to see? I’ve got a brand spanking new interdimensional travel lab, some Skrull-based camouflage trials, there’s a spaceship downstairs, Helen has an updated, palm-sized cradle.”

All of it, every last one is what Billy wants to see, but Tommy beats him to the request, “We want to do simulation twenty three, Wish You Were Never Born.”

Understanding dawns on Tony’s face, “Want to show the parental units up, huh?”

“Yep.” Tommy is close to vibrating through the floor.

“It’s really dangerous,” the mood darkens until Tony presents them a masterclass, uncaring shrug they’ve seen numerous times in his press conferences and Senate hearings, “but I’m not your parents and so it is my duty to aid and abet your delinquency.”

An ecstatic arm closes around Billy’s shoulder as they follow their grandpa down four different hallways and three staircases, emerging into a vast, utterly empty warehouse. “You all have suits?” Tommy whips off his sweatshirt to reveal the Stark crafted, green and white suit he always wears under his clothes, yanking his goggles from his back pocket and pulling them down over his face. Since this seems to actually be happening, Billy waves his hands, materializing his own caped suit in place of his jeans and t-shirt. “All right then, let me go upstairs real fast.”

The climb into the observation booth is agonizing under Tommy’s uncontainable excitement, his feet a blur as he warms up, running in place. “Quick disclaimer, boys,” they look up at Stark’s face through the window, “there are numerous things that can seriously maim you in this course, kind of why your parents hold the record, the whole made of vibranium slant your dad’s got going makes him uniquely qualified to handle a lot of this and your mom is terrifying as well, so together, magic.” A seed of doubt sprouts in Billy’s mind, yet it is not given time to be nurtured a, “Anyway, best of luck!” and then the room comes alive around them.

To say the difficulty level name is apt is a bit of an understatement. At any given time there are over a dozen different foes, and for each type of challenge, there are at least a dozen individuals within it. It ranges from laser guns, incendiary robots that look an awful lot like Ultron, replicas of the Black Order, phasing, flame wielding alien things, and Billy’s least favorite right now, microscopic, swarming jellyfish that blister the skin on contact. In amongst the chaos of fighting, he can hear Tommy cycle between “Shit, shit, shit,” “Oh my God!”, “What the fuck is that,” and maniacal glee. Slowly, and painfully, they take down the threats, sometimes combining forces to remove a particularly difficult foe, and sometimes splitting up to decimate the weaker challenges.

Looming over them is a very large clock, ticking away at their time and next to it, is the record of their parents. Their own clock continues, the numbers growing more similar to the goal and Billy assesses the surroundings, only taser faced bear-like creatures and giant bouncing orbs made of some sort of sticky, burning compound left. “Tommy!” His brother skids into view, mouth in a perennial smile and lungs heaving as he waits for the next strategy. “We have ten seconds, I say we vaporize.”

What seemed impossible is proven wrong, Tommy’s lips curving even higher as he fiddles with his goggles. “You hold them steady.”

“Will do.”

It’s a technique they birthed from their mistakes, the possibilities of their powers unknown and often discovered in embarrassing and unintentional ways. Like vaporizing soccer fields during gym class. Billy winds his powers around the last group of adversaries, wincing at the weight of their resistance as he adds more and more force to his hold. While he does this, Tommy runs a large circle around the bound creatures, legs pumping faster and faster with each lap until even Billy can’t track his position. That’s when it happens, a sonic boom that spreads through the warehouse, shoving Billy to the ground, puffs of smoke making the air murky, and then there is a “Hell yeah!” and the telltale sound of the buzzer their own training uses to signal success.

Tommy collapses on the ground next to Billy, “That was amazing.” All Billy can manage is a nod, lungs and body aching. “Do you think we did it?”

“Though impressive, unfortunately you were 8.65 seconds over.” Disappointing, but not bad. Far more worrisome is the unmistakably even English accent informing them of their failure.

Billy strains to sit up, glancing over his shoulder at the deep scowls of disappointment on his parents’ faces, next to the apologetic wince of Tony. “Fuck.”

“Language, William.” Tommy snorts and is met with a jab of blue to his chest.

Two strikes in less than three seconds and the houseboat is most definitely floating away, “Sorry, dad.”

“What are you two doing here?” This time it’s their mom, her accent thicker when she’s angry and currently it sounds like she just moved here from Sokovia.

A hand pats Billy’s arm, a reassurance that really isn’t helping. “The field trip was just so boring.” Nor is Tommy’s attempt at defending their choice providing any hope of bringing the boat back. “We just wanted to see stuff.”

The intercom clicks and they are presented with a predictably logical alternative, “You could have asked us after the field trip. You had shown interest in a more detailed tour the other night, hence the reason why your mother and I were meeting you here instead of at home.”

Billy flops his head to stare deep into his twin’s goggled eyes, “I suggested that.”

“Shut up.”

Another click and mom is back on the microphone, “We’ve been speaking with the Altman’s,” any last, clinging hope withers away, “they were really looking forward to having you with them this weekend,” the feeling is mutual, “they suggested a nice compromise.” He waits to learn what this is, worried if he asks it will harm any goodwill left. “They invited all of us along on the trip.”

Despair is far heavier than the physical toll of the course, and isn’t helped at all by the thumbs up next to him and the out-of-breath, “Yes, I love houseboats!”

#billy kaplan #tommy shepherd #scarlet vision #wanda maximoff #vision #tony stark #ask anon #mine #deathofink #replies #the maximoffs

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themastercylinder · 5 years

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An Interview with John Dods

How did you come to be involved with The Deadly Spawn?

DODS: Well, it was a fairly simple turn of events. My friend Ted Bohus called me up one day and said, “Let’s make a monster movie!” That seemed like a good idea to me so we did it. I’ve known Ted for years and we worked on the (uncompleted) film Nightbeast together. Ted wanted me to be in charge of the special effects.

You are known primarily as the creator/animator of the Grog film series. Will there be any stop motion in The Deadly Spawn?

DODS: We had assumed from the beginning that some stop motion would be necessary to create Spawn locomotion. As it worked out I devised “live action mechanicals” that everyone seems very happy with. It looks real, and avoiding stop motion enabled us to use fluids. The baby “Spawns” are seen swimming around in the flooded basement of the house in the film. There’s also a lot of blood in Deadly Spawn. It’s hard to make fluids look convincing in the stop motion process.

What kind of special effects will we see in Spawn?

DODS: Most of the effects are on the set mechanicals. Simple puppetry was used for many of the shots-manual manipulation of the various sized models from beneath a specially prepared surface. For example, if a spawn is seen on the floor of the basement we had to build a false floor, flood it with water, and conceal the mechanism through a hole in the surface. Sometimes we had eight people lying flat on their backs making the spawn babies “act” their roles. If a spawn had to appear on a chair we would have to get a chair and wreck it-putting holes in it through which spawn controls could be concealed; that kind of thing. The mama spawn is just a big elaborate puppet that is mobilized by six crew members-one for each body part and another to propel it forward on a tracking system. We have some pyrotechnics in the film which Tim Hildebrandt helped us work out. There is a neat effect involving a miniature set that I’m not allowed to talk about. We have a lot of blood effects where we had to mechanically pump fluid through body parts. I’ve always had an ambition to create a monster that wasn’t an obvious “man in a rubber suit,” so from the very beginning designs for the spawns were far from human. I did a series of drawings and we all picked the one we liked the best.

Is it restricting to work within the confines of a low budget film?

DODS: I suppose so but I’ve never worked any other way! We’ve stretched every dollar to the limit and all of it is on the screen. I’m working with a very resourceful group of people. We could make an expensive looking film with the money that Dino DeLaurentiis spends on stationery. I know that our effects budget would be around $100,000 if we had done this film in any kind of conventional way—and I don’t think we’ve spent that much. On the entire picture.

Do you feel that the Deadly Spawn is different than the current crop of low budget thrillers?

DODS: I know that it’s different. We designed it to be different. The Deadly Spawn is presented in the manner of putting on a show, or like a tour through a chamber of horrors. We show the audience series of exhibits in a theatrical manner in the context of a story that resolves itself in a very satisfactory way.

What would you like to do after The Deadly Spawn is completed?

DODS: Work on another film with Filmline Communications, make another Grog puppet film, finish illustrating a children’s book I have been working on.

Dods’ title, as director of special effects, is one to be taken literally-virtually all of the scenes involving monsters and effects were directed by Dods, following his storyboards. In fact, Bohus’ first plan called for Dods and Bohus to collaboratively direct the film themselves. “I was reluctant, at the time,” he recalls. “Though I’ve directed stop-motion films, I’ve never worked with actors, and you see so many low-budget films that are hurt by bad acting, so I was insistent that we get someone who’d had experience working with actors.” The choice of McKeown, who has directed for the New York stage as part of the Jean Cocteau Repertory Theater, did not exactly eliminate that problem, however. Dods now doubts that he would be so reluctant the second time around.

Dods does, however, work singularly well with the monsters of Deadly Spawn. One of his primary concerns was the manner of locomotion used by the various critters. “The mother spawn was herself relatively limited in movement,” Dodds says, “but that was okay-she’s supposed to be a huge, lumbering 3,000-pound thing. Her slow movements make sense, so we avoided a whole lot of technical problems right there.”

The film does open with a sequence that shows, in silhouette, the adult monster undergoing rapid growth, shortly after killing a pair of campers; simultaneously, various inhuman schlurping sounds are heard on the soundtrack, as it consumes its human meal (“‘Every sound you hear the monster make came from my mouth,” Dods reveals). The manner in which the illusion was accomplished is one of the simplest tricks we’ve ever come across Using shadow puppetry, monster shaped cardboard cutouts back-lit against a wall.

Yet another sequence shows one of the repulsive-yet-somehow cute baby spawn wiggling through bloody basement waters with the speed of a frightened lizard. “Every monster movie should have one long shot of the monster, showing its method of locomotion,” says Dods, “and so many don’t have that-they try to get by with fast cutting, or some other technique, to give you the impression of having seen an entire creature in motion. Since my background is in stop-motion, I was planning to use that in order to get such a shot. Using a jigsaw, I cut an S-shaped, repeating wave form, a sort of curved slot. I then mounted a flexible, foam rubber baby spawn on a piece of plastic, and was going to shoot that in stop motion, travelling in that S-shaped curve; but then we found that, if you simply pulled it along in that slot, it traveled in a very lifelike, wiggling fashion, so we wound up shooting it in live action. That way, we could also have it speeding through the water on the basement floor-water is just about impossible to animate.”

The swimming spawn, and many of the other effects of The Deadly Spawn, were entirely originated by the effects crew; few were specially called for by McKeown’s script. “Arnold Gargiulo was particularly good at coming up with things,” says Dods. “For instance, it was indicated that the monster would attack Ellisa Niel in the face, but it was figured we’d simply track in, through the monster’s point of view, and then pull back to reveal the damage. Arnold came up with much more than he was asked for in several cases; in that scene, he did something I hadn’t seen before-a two-layered makeup, with a normal-looking appliance, which the monster rips away to reveal some pretty gruesome work underneath it.”

More contributions above and beyond the call of etcetera came from Tim Hildebrandt-including the contribution of his own little spawn, son Charles, as the film’s youthful hero. Wife Rita Hildebrandt served in various capacities as well, including the provision of her own recipe for monster saliva-a concoction achieved by mixing water and corn starch and boiling it down to a syrupy goo. Hildebrandt’s contributions to the effects are seen in the very beginning and end of the film, in the depiction of the spawn’s arrival on earth, and of its final (unless there’s a sequel) appearance. The Hildebrandts even sacrificed the attic of their home, which was transformed into a blood and-debris-spattered mess after the filming of a crucial confrontation scene.

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BABY SPAWNS

When a deadly spawn reaches a certain growth stage it reproduces. Before the movie is half over we introduce several dozen new characters into the story: rapidly growing baby monsters.

In clay, I sculpted four small creatures each representing a baby spawn in a different stage of growth. These ranged from six inches to three feet in length. Molds were made of the sculptures using a mix of 50% Hydrocal and 50% Ultracal; these are plaster-like materials that yield molds much harder than ordinary casting plaster. This extra hardness was needed to insure mold durability during the repeated use the five molds were subjected to to produce over 50 constructions.

R&D brand oven-cured foamed latex was used to produce most of the smaller spawn babies. The plaster molds were greased with caster oil or rubber mask grease paint (which I like better because unlike caster oil you can make about three positives without regreasing). The liquid foam-frothed with an electric mixer-was poured into each mold cavity to the point of overflowing and the mold halves were closed tightly. The excess foam came out through a large hold in the mold’s underside. This method never resulted in the air pockets commonly associated with injection processes.

The largest mold was over three feet long and would not fit into my oven. So a (more expensive) Isofoam “cold foam” process was used for this. This is a two part system that begins to foam by chemical action after parts A and B are vigorously mixed together for about 20 seconds. Effects assistant Sharon Levine and I mixed a series of small batches and gradually filled the large mold cavities almost to the brim. Then a final large batch was mixed, poured quickly, and the mold closed just as the foam was beginning to expand to fill the remaining space. In this process, the mold is not only greased conventionally, but is also coated with a layer of liquid latex “skin” before any cold foam is poured. This provides a smooth surface to the model (the cold foam alone has a very coarse texture) and keeps the cold foam from adhering to the plaster.

After the foam babies were produced, the teeth and mechanics were inserted; certain areas were hollowed out of the foam using scissors and tweezers. Super glue proved to be a good adherent between the rubber lips and the plastic teeth.

SPAWN ANIMATION

From the beginning of the production the method for getting the baby spawns to move was undecided. Most of the effects shots required the spawns to remain in one spot-chewing on body parts usually; this action was accomplished through simple puppetry. But the problem of spawn locomotion remained unsolved for some time. Because of my previous experience with stop motion (the Grog series of film shorts) this animation technique seemed to be a real possibility-yet eventually I decided against it. Unexpectedly, found a better solution to the problem.

I constructed a plywood surface into which I cut a repeating “wiggle” pattern with a jigsaw. I slit open the underside of a small foam rubber spawn and sewed into it a flexible plastic insert; this protruded from the underside of the model and fit into the plywood track. I had intended to move the spawn bit by bit along the track and create the illusion of movement through the stop motion process. I soon realized, though, that this was not necessary. By lubricating the track with Vaseline and pulling the spawn with a nylon cord I had created the effect we needed. It looked real

Hiding the track then became easy. In The Deadly Spawn there is water in the basement where the spawns are breeding; leakage from the thunderstorm raging outside the house covers the floor. I simply made the water (opaque with dirt and “blood”) deep enough to submerge the numerous tracks and we had another set of successful constructions: mobile spawns.

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PLASTIC FLESH

During The Deadly Spawn some scientifically oriented teenagers find a dead baby spawn and decide to dissect it in an effort to figure out what it is. For this sequence a construction had to be made out of a fleshy/jelly-like material that could be cut with a razor blade. After some unsuccessful experiments with alginate material found a supplier of Plastisol—the same material used to make artificial bait and those wiggly spiders seen in novelty shops. Plastisol comes as a white liquid that turns clear when heated on a stove for a few minutes; pigments can be added at this stage to color the Plastisol as desired. I poured pigmented Plastisol into two greased plaster mold halves and quickly closed them together; more Plastisol was poured in through a hole in the mold’s bottom half. After cooling (about one hour in a freezer) the Plastisol had set and was removed from the mold. Permanent Magic Markers were the only form of colorant I have found that will adhere to Plastisol once it has cooled to a solid state, but these do work quite well.

Plastisol again proved invaluable when we needed a shot of a human head being eaten by baby spawns—chunks of flesh were to be pulled off the face by the greedy extraterrestrials. The Deadly Spawn makeup supervisor Arnold Garguilo prepared a mold from the face of the actress whose head was to appear to be consumed. I poured a one quarter inch thick layer of Plastisol into Arnold’s mold to produce a positive “face.” This was super glued onto an appropriately gory plastic skull and a realistic glass eye was inserted. The face was made up with rubber mask and conventional type grease paints.

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THE MOTHER SPAWN

Building the mother spawn began with the sculpture of hundreds of teeth using a material called Sculpey. Sculpey is a lot like clay but when you bake it in an oven (15 minutes at 250°) it hardens. The hardened teeth-ranging in size from 5 inches long to as tiny as a pencil point-were pressed into the gums of three clay spawn skulls.

I then had to duplicate the toothy creations in hard plastic so they would be more durable. Many layers of thick mold-making rubber were applied to the sculptures over a 10 day period. Before removal, the resulting molds were heat treated in a 300° oven for 20 minutes. Rubber that has not been heat-treated vulcanized) in this way can be stretched out of shape permanently; vulcanized rubber will always remember” its original form and return to it.

The molds were removed from the sculptures and scrubbed clean with acetone. Positives were made using Jet Dental Acrylic color #6 (the color most popular with dentists according to the salesman). This plastic material was applied to the insides of the molds in small sections—the fast hardening liquid being worked into the points of the deep mold cavities with a fine wire. I reinforced this thin covering with (cheaper) polyester resin—the kind available at auto body shops with chopped fiberglass mixed into it. Tooth polish and a scrub brush made the teeth shine.

The mother spawn was controlled like a puppet by as many as six people situated low to the ground in back of the construction. The operators were hidden by darkness, camera cut-off, and the bulk of the monster. One operator rode inside of the structure manipulating one or both of the side heads. Others worked the main head, arms, and body movement.

The substructure of the mother spawn looks like somebody had some fun with an erector set; it provides the needed support and control for the heads. The weight of the heads was counterbalanced with springs; gentle pressure would move the heads and necks forward and backward. The jointed mouths would open and close through manipulation of a hand control which also governed the head tilt.

In The Deadly Spawn the mother creature moves almost in slow motion (kind of like a giant slug), its speed held in check by inertia and its own massive weight. The entire structure moved on wheels that fit into a tracking system constructed from plumbers’ PVC tubing. This provided the very smooth movement we needed.

The monster’s skin was built up on top of the metal skeleton in layers. Half-inch foam sheeting was cut and stapled together to form the basic shape. Refinements were added using paper toweling soaked in thick latex mold-making rubber. Fans and hair dryers speeded the drying process. The spawn was painted with latex base wall paint with about 30-40% liquid latex added in order to keep the paint from cracking and peeling as the skin moved and flexed.

During the shooting the mother spawn had to be “made up” before every take. Spawns are very slimey. Initial experiments with children’s toy store variety slime gave way to a combination of mineral oil and rubber cement. This looked good but the oil rotted the rubber and the rubber cement was a nightmare to clean up. Executive producer Rita Hildebrandt suggested that we try thickening plain water with corn starch; this produced the best looking slime of all and at 65¢ per gallon it was super economical too (rubber cement costs about $20.00 per gallon).

THE FINALE

It was a real problem. How were we going to create the biggest effect of the entire production without any money, well hardly any money? It was near the end of the filming on The Deadly Spawn when Executive Producer Tim Hildebrandt and Producer Ted Bohus had their brainstorm. They wanted to cap the film with a shot showing just how big the ever growing deadly spawns really can get as big as a mountain.

Dino D’Laurentis might have spent a couple of million dollars on a mountain-sized construction, but with less than $500.00 to spend we had to think small. So, naturally. we built a miniature Tim Hildebrandt’s production drawing for the shot was our guide during construction as well as our inspiration to do the work necessary to make it happen on film. Tim’s teenage experience as a miniature landscape builder, as well as his more recent work on the 3M TV commercial (the one with the futuristic looking cityscapes), was instrumental in realizing the drawing, Tim in fact did all the landscape detailing himself. The rest of our effects crew for this shot included Glenn Takakjian who built the house, Frank Balsamo-cinematographer. Greg Ramundas-Deadly Spawn chief effects technician, and Robert R. Bohus. As usual, it was my job to build the monster.

BUILDING THE SET

Before doing any actual construction we cut shapes out of cardboard representing various proposed set elements. When viewed through the camera, these helped us to determine how big and how deep we would have to make the set in order to get the depth of field we wanted. This turned out to be about 10 feet wide by 15 feet deep, Plywood cutouts then replaced the cardboard so that the set would have a sturdy substructure Chicken wire covered the plywood and was shaped to Create the basic topography of the landscape. The chicken wire was covered with paper toweling and a low budget substitute for plaster cement. A V-inch thickness provided the strength needed.

Chunks of burnt coal from the Hildebrandt’s coal stove were pressed into the cement to form cliffsides and other rocky looking areas. Coal dust from the same source and flocking-applied with a flour sifter-created areas of texture and color. Lichen Spongy fungus growth was used to simulate areas of vegetation and the treetops. Lichen can be purchased where toy train accessories are sold, though it can be found growing naturally in places having good air quality imported a hefty bad full of it about $300.00 worth) on my way back from a trip to Ontario, Canada. Trees were made of real tree branch endings–sometimes bunched together and taped along the “trunk” section before being painted. A road was cut out of roofing paper and cemented into place. The gravel at the side of the road was kitty litter

Glenn Takakjian’s efforts in producing a scaled miniature house topped that of everyone else on the crew combined. Working 4 5 hours a day for 6 weeks. Glen produced a highly detailed accurate miniature version of the Deadly Spawns primary location; a house. Glen began by taking many photos of the house he was to copy: long shots and many close ups of detailing. The construction began with the assembly of a corrugated cardboard framework with holes being cut wherever windows were needed Proportions were determined by studying the photos. Floor by floor, the cardboard substructure was covered with balsawood “siding” using Elmer’s glue as an adhesive. The window frames were also made of balsa with molding detail being hand carved using an exacto knife. This was sanded with fine grade emory cloth. Clear plastic was placed behind the windows to simulate glass. The large vertical posts of the downstairs porch were purchased from a doll house supplier and modified using an electric Dremel tool. The “gingerbread ornamentation was reconstructed from parts of a doll house gate each “S shaped unit being made of 4 plastic pieces that had been cut glued, and sanded. The smaller posts as well as the rest of the porch construction were simply hand carved using an exacto knife and a great deal of care. The completed porch construction was coated with a plastic spray in order to smooth over and hide the grain texture of the balsa wood. The plastic surface also made it possible to use instant bonding Crazy Glue as an adhesive instead of the slow drying Elmer’s. The chimney was a balsa wood box covered with ordinary wall spackle Bricks were carved into the dry spackle using the end of small rattail file. Covering the cardboard tool with 1,200 shingles was the most time consuming part of the project. Each shingle was individually cut from thin cardboard and glued into place; the completed house was painted with acrylic paints.

THE MONSTER

In the shot we were planning the monster or monster head-had to first look like a distant mountain, and then to rise upwards, tilt up, and open its mouth Since we had determined that the head had to be a rather large construction 3 feet wide 3 feet high, and 4 feet long-it required a very substantial control mechanism to make these movements happen. This was constructed out of wood-2×4’s and plywood. A seesaw arrangement – the head being at one end of the seesaw-controlled the upward movement. A 10 feet long handle attached to what amounted to 2 oversized pairs of scissors caused the mouth to open. This handle also governed the tilt of the head.

The mountain monster’s gums and numerous teeth were cast in hydro hard plaster) using existing rubber molds produced earlier for other spawn constructions in the movie. These teeth-fragile but cheap to produce were wired to the substructure. Many of the smaller teeth were simply painted onto the gums. The bulk of the shape was made of chicken wire and sheets of foam rubber stapled together): the use of these materials helped minimize the weight of the construction. Finally, the monster’s skin was built up out of paper toweling and liquid latex rubber. The creature’s head was landscaped with burnt coal chunks.

Everything we built was backed up by an original Hildebrandt painting: Three panels of masonite were joined together and taped at the seams with gafers tape to provide a large canvas. The sky actually had to be painted three times. The oil based paint first used proved to be too reflective-it was impossible to light. Tim opted for redoing it rather than trying (expensive) experiments with large amounts of dulling spray. The second version painted in flat latex base wall paints-is the one seen in the film. Still another backdrop was painted when we decided to use the miniature-minus house and somewhat modified for the shot that opens Deadly Spawn: a meteorite crossing the sky and falling to earth. Ideas on how to produce stars in the night sky ranged from direct projection, to the use of bits of front projection material of sequins. The first thing we tried worked-almost unexpectedly-so we used it: Tim simply painted them on.

We knew from the beginning that we wanted to film the shot in slow motion in order to suggest great size in the creature as an avalanche of dirt and rocks (burnt coal chips and coal dust mostly) fell away from its rising body at a speed right for its apparent size. We were able to shoot at 64 frames per second(only about half of what I we would have liked.) This rapid rate of frame exposure increased our lighting requirements as did stopping down the lens to increase the depth of field on the set. It ended up that of the money we spent on the shot was spent renting lights about 8000 watts and extension cords. The final bill for the shot was about $360.00.

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A no-sound-look behind the work of “The Deadly Spawn” (1983) directed by Douglas McKeown.

Michael Perilstein ‎– The Deadly Spawn (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)

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Source Material

Fangoria Magazine 28

Fangoria Magazine 310

Cinemagic Magazine 22

Cinemagic Magazine 18

The Deadly Spawn (1983) Retrospective Part Two An Interview with John Dods How did you come to be involved with The Deadly Spawn? …

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ladystylestores · 4 years

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Two Projects Are Filming Again. Here’s How They’re Doing It.

Baltasar Kormakur, the Icelandic director best known in the United States for “Everest” and “Contraband,” turned to a color-coded armband system to get his Netflix sci-fi series “Katla” back into production in Reykjavik after the coronavirus shut it down in mid-March.

The producer Lucas Foster made the difficult — and expensive — decision to isolate his entire cast and crew in a small town in Australia to make a reimagined horror film based on the Stephen King short story “Children of the Corn.”

The two filmmakers are among the few who have found their way back into production amid a pandemic. Armed with expansive medical staffs, stringent protocols and imposing security guards willing to yell “Two meters!” whenever anyone gets too close, Kormakur and Foster are the unlikely trailblazers at the dawn of a new era in filmmaking.

Everyone wants to know how they did it. In lengthy phone interviews, the two explained in detail the steps they took to get cameras rolling again.

Color-Coding on an Iceland Soundstage

Kormakur has talked through his methods with London’s film commission, the American Society of Cinematographers and his former partners at Working Title and Universal Pictures. He’s currently making a video for Netflix to share with other eager creators looking for a way back.

“I will probably be more known for Covid than for any of my films,” Kormakur said with a laugh. “That is kind of sad.”

In March, Kormakur began filming “Katla,” an eight-episode supernatural drama centered on a subglacial volcano that disturbs a tranquil small town. Four days into filming on a 50,000-square-foot soundstage that he owns, the government shut the production down along with the rest of the country. Sheltering at home with his wife and four children, Kormakur engineered a system he thought would allow the cast and crew to return once the virus had peaked.

His method involved a color-coded armband system: Those wearing yellow could be near the camera; the actors, and the makeup and costume professionals wore black and spent most of their prep time in a cordoned-off area of the set; and the producers, script supervisors and visual effects people wore red and were sequestered near the monitors. A few lucky ones were given blue armbands, which allowed them access to all areas of the set. No group had more than 20 people in it. “This way we could monitor each other,” he said. “It’s hard with crews. People have a tendency to roam, and it’s easy to lose control of it.”

Kormakur’s system was only possible because of Iceland’s rigorous testing policies. Netflix, too, was heavily involved, with executives testing Kormakur’s methods. The streaming giant financed the extra costs associated with the safety protocols and paid the cast and crews’ salaries when they were shut down.

First, under the system, Kormakur and his entire 80-person cast and crew were tested. Then, each morning, everyone entering the set had their temperature scanned. Catering was turned into individual boxed meals. Doorknobs, toilets and other surfaces were sanitized on the hour. Most everyone except the actors wore masks, and the makeup artists and production designers were gloved. “So much for protecting the environment,” he quipped.

Production has been up and running now for four weeks. And though Kormakur and the other directors filming the series have yet to try a scene involving any close contact or intimacy, it’s continued without incident. (Kormakur says they will address those scenes once restrictions loosen further. If that doesn’t happen in time, they will retest actors before filming them. Iceland is currently reopening in phases.)

Two crew members who went to the set with elevated temperatures wound up testing positive for Covid-19. They were both sent home to self-isolate for two weeks, and no one else became infected.

“Our methods worked,” he added. “We caught two people who in another case would have been working with this virus without knowing it.” He added, “I think if you can create filters in society then you can help find the virus and stop it. Whether it’s film companies or other companies.”

When I spoke with Kormakur, only three Covid-19 patients remained hospitalized in Iceland. Now, Kormakur and the Iceland government are looking at bringing foreign crews into the country to bolster production. He says he could isolate them in empty hotels and get them all tested so they could begin work, a scenario he thinks could help restore Iceland’s struggling economy.

“At a certain point, the support and financial packages are going to run dry,” he said. “I don’t know if the Iceland government has much more to give.”

Isolating in a Small Australian Town

Foster, a “Children of the Corn” producer, was 10 days out from finishing his film when we spoke, and at the end, he said he would turn to the mountains of phone messages and emails from eager filmmakers looking for advice.

In a recent phone interview, he debated whether what he has experienced could be translated to other jobs: “I finished my 24th day of photography so I have 24 days of experience doing this and learning,” he said. “I think that’s the valuable part. But what we did in Australia is not a direct crossover to, say, shooting in Los Angeles or in Vancouver.”

The need for a cornfield in November is what first brought Foster from his Los Angeles home to Richmond in New South Wales. The pandemic is what kept him there. And on May 28, he and the writer-director Kurt Wimmer will complete production on their horror film, shot entirely during the spread of the coronavirus.

Like Kormakur’s set, this one was divided by job function. A nurse, a paramedic and a doctor were present daily. The cast and crew were required to fill out wellness questionnaires at the beginning and end of each day. Temperatures were checked. Surfaces were sanitized. During one particularly challenging sequence shot at night, the actors were dressed in neoprene suits both to keep them warm and to offer them another level of protection when they came in close contact during the scene. (According to Australia’s policies, the “two meters” rule did not have to be observed when the cameras were rolling.) Hand sanitizer was ubiquitous.

It was also crucial that the majority of the movie be filmed on an isolated farm in a small town. (The cast and crew have taken over hotels, Airbnbs and some cottages in and around Richmond.) Australia has also been very successful in flattening the curve and has begun opening its economy.

But for Foster, who said that the extra precautions added at least 20 percent to the initial $10 million budget of his indie film, the most crucial decision he made was to house his entire cast and crew together, including the guardians for more than 25 child actors. He even quarantined an actor’s dog.

“It was an uncomfortable decision but one that made this whole thing possible,” said Foster, who himself has been isolating with his film family for close to 80 days. “It’s not an inexpensive way to operate a film.”

He also contended with a shortened shooting schedule because of the usual restrictions placed on minors, navigated the stress levels of a disparate crew and found replacement actors when a few dropped out at the last minute. One 12-year-old was too afraid to get on an airplane from Los Angeles. Another actor, based in Sydney, decided against making the trip to Richmond.

“There is no cheat sheet for this,” Foster said. “Every single thing that everybody in every department has to do” must be rethought, he added. “Retraining on the job has been the most challenging thing.”

He also said that he underestimated the toll filming during a pandemic would take on actors, who had to stay present while copious distractions swirled around them. In the initial days of production, he admitted, he didn’t pay enough attention to his crew’s mental health, a situation he’s rectified with more thorough monitoring and less news watching.

“Everybody was stressed,” he said. “The economic impact of this and the physical toll on people was something we may not have handled that well at the beginning.”

Yet, even with all the extra pressures, Foster is comfortable with his plan to proceed.

“We made the decision as a group that we were better off isolating in a small town with each other and continuing to do our work, keep our employment alive and our sanity,” he said. “Our creative output is a large part of our identity. I didn’t want to kill that.”

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cwebberphotography · 7 years

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I got used to living in Japan. The bakery up the street. The shrines and temples all around. The friends dropping by. The insane things on TV. The bikes. The beers. The night life. The sushi and 7/11. The laundry mat downstairs.

The trains the crowds, sleeping on the floor, the morning coffee, reading in the kitchen, days spent alone while everyone else worked. I got used to walking on the sidewalks and having a vending machine every 20 feet in case I get thirsty or hungry. I got used to the Japanese sounds and being lost in translation.

The weather, always able to wear pants and a t-shirt, keep a sweater for night-time. Being able to walk down the street and keep my shoes clean. People being over the top respectful. No garbage on the street, nothing to trip over, and all the lights. Tokyo loves lights. Tokyo loves smoking in restaurants but not on sidewalks. Tokyo loves public transport and not private vehicles.

It was only two weeks. The culture shock from Kathmandu to Tokyo was not that much. The real eye opener, even though I’ve already been here, is coming from the land of the future back to India. Landing in Delhi it’s 4:30 a.m in Tokyo and I’ve just been flying for the last nine hours, watching three movies in a row, including Lion, which was a tear jerker.

I leave the airport in my sweater and pants and immediately feel the humidity and heat and the smell of burning in the air. 100’s of people stand with signs and rush you asking if you need a cab. I take one offer and ask to be driven to a medium range hotel.

The guys working the midnight shift don’t speak much English, and I’m so close to the airport that planes landing and taking off shake my window. They show me to my room and I lock the door and take a shower. The nozzle comes off in my hand, the toilet seat is just placed there for looks, unhinged. It’s a standard Indian hotel room with two small beds a T.V. and wi-fi. good enough for a nights sleep.

I wake with the sun and pack and dial 9 to make a bus reservation but they don’t understand. I go downstairs and ask for breakfast, and where I can find an ATM. Breakfast will be ready in 20 minutes, I point to something on the menu that I can’t read. Then walk out the door into a blast of heat and honking. Cows wander past me, motor bikes, people selling fruit, shit and garbage all over the ‘road’. The first ATM isn’t open yet. I walk a little further, the morning rush is starting, everyone’s going somewhere in a hurry, no one obeys traffic laws and no sidewalks so dodging puddles of black water and cow shit can be risky. Next ATM has no money, next one is off, next one doesn’t accept overseas cards. I make it to a dead-end and I’m face to face with a bull. so I turn around and go back for mystery breakfast.

Luckily the hotel has a taxi service so I can pay them for that and the room with my credit card. And wait. Someone comes with a small van and I get in, he does a 6 point turn on the narrow road under the overpass by the airport and we’re off. Once we clear that area the air starts to smell of roses. The streets clean up, all the intersections are roundabouts with beautiful gardens in the middle. Massive trees line the empty roads. The sun is still low, and people sweep the sidewalks making sun beams in the dust clouds.

Everything is green. Compared to being here in January when most of the trees are leafless. This is when we start to pass embassies, one after another, Canada, Japan, USA, Kuwait, all of them, no wonder it’s so well manicured. After a few miles of jaw dropping beauty we get closer to the city centre and its jaw dropping poverty again. People sleeping on the mediums between the highways, children begging and fighting each other for space at stop lights, homes made of garbage all around.

The driver takes me to the bus stop and says good luck. I get out, go through a metal detector and ask the information for where to find a bus to Rishikesh. She asks if I want a nice bus or normal. I say nice and she points me to counter number 14. I still don’t have any cash, my bags are heavy and I’m sweating. The guy says there is a bus leaving in 30 minutes and its 640 rupees. And the ATM is out the exit and to the right. I try that one several times to no avail. Someone says there are more ‘behind the metro’ so I venture out onto the road and 10 minutes later find a row of them, the first two don’t work but I hit the jackpot on the third and make it back with minutes to spare.

I’m directed to bay number 11 and start asking about a seat, along with 10 other people who didn’t plan enough to have a ticket. Two minutes before leaving they assign me seat number 40 and I find it at the very back of the packed bus, I get the row to myself, and all the leg room in the world. Now for the eight hours of podcasts and much-needed napping.

We get one stop for lunch and washroom half way and then pull in to Rishikesh around 5 p.m. I immediately get a rickshaw to the area around a certain ashram and near a bank, luckily the driver knows his way around. I have no way to contact my air bnb place but find it, and the shop keeper out front lets me in. I put my stuff down, wash my face, go into the courtyard I share with another room and knock. Alex from Portland Oregon answers, then Jewels from NYC comes out and I’m invited in, meet Judith from Spain and we hit it off right away and make a plan to swim in the Ganges and get dinner after.

The water was refreshing and somewhat clean. The current where we went in was extremely strong and hard to stand up in. Today I’ll try it a little further upstream where it’s calmer. We swam until sun set and went back to change and decide where to eat. There are few restaurants we could find that had english menus, but we found one a kilometre away across a suspension bridge and it was yummy. On the way back we sat on the banks of the river and made friends with a dog who followed us almost all the way home. In the morning I walked back to the same restaurant for breakfast, 150 rupees for corn flakes, toast, two fried eggs, and a coffee. Then I walked the opposite side of the river and had a chai and bought coffee grinds so I can make my own at home on my stove. Today I cleaned my new apartment, did my laundry and later we’ll visit the Beatles Ashram.

Swimming in the Ganges I got used to living in Japan. The bakery up the street. The shrines and temples all around.

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