#dunno how to say it but it feels like a lot at times and i am proud of how you always keep going no matter what happens

[mirrology]

— Rowdy .ᐟ ☆

୨୧ rowdy: ( noun) a noisy and disorderly person. (adjective) noisy and disorderly.

Ft. boothill, gender neutral reader. platonic. Wc: 722

Content: short bit of hc's and a small fic at the end, readers age is not specified, boothill being a little shit, he cares abt u tho, typical sibling shenanigans, sibling bonding, cursing, boothill may be ooc.

A/n: first ever platonic boothill fic /j, also this is kinda lazy but whatever.

He would definitely be one of those annoying brothers that come into your room just to look at you, then leave without closing the door.

but he genuinely cares about you and your safety considering his job as a galaxy ranger.

Boothill also definitely calls you runt, squirt, & kid no matter how old you are or no matter how much you complain.

Frequently ruffles your hair as a sign of affection, although this ends in bickering when you do your hair before it.

Definitely can't cook for shit, every time he tries to make something for you out of the kindness of his heart, he absolutely wrecks it.

It ends up burnt and inedible, and a purple aura around in a cartoonish fashion. and oh, the poor kitchen, you can't count how many times you've had to fix something. it has gone through a lot.

The two of you have sleepovers where you do skincare, watch movies and gossip about anything and everything.

you would think that Boothill is more of a horror movie and/or action movies type guy but he has a soft spot for sappy romance movies and the saddest films possible.

and if you feel like it, both of you talk about your love life.

Trains you by sparring in hand-to-hand combat, he usually wins the sparring, but you've gotten close to beating him.

After your training session you flop on the floor like a dead fish and beg him to carry you back inside, he obliges but not before teasing you for falling to the ground.

he picks you up in a princess carry or in a piggy back ride.

Boothill gives you things at the most random times, "oh but it's not a holiday or anything special today!" you can say but he won't care. accept his gift.

If you just as much glance at something in a store for 1 millisecond you'll find said thing in a gift bag with a little note, handwritten by him.

Since he's part robot he can't drink water or even touch it or he will malfunction, even though he's made to sustain the harsh weather of the desert and attacks from the criminals he hunts down.

so if he's being stubborn and does go through with touching water, you're the one who (quite literally) brings him back to life.

and because of this you've become well-versed in technology. you constantly fix anything that is wrong, such as a jammed finger. Although can't seem to get rid of that swear filter that he's unfortunately stuck with.

Overall Boothill is a very fun elder brother who wants to keep you safe.

You woke up to the feeling of being moved from your spot on your desk. you had been working on one of your tech projects, spending hours on end tinkering away in your room. You cracked one eye open, sleep pulling at your eyes, wanting them to close one more. You were met with the familiar face of your brother above you. then you registered the feeling of his hand on your back and underneath your knees.

Boothill noticed your sleepy gaze on him, and he smiled cheekily, "Heya, runt. I see ya' woke up" he chuckled in amusement at your disheveled appearance. He laid you down on your bed and placed the covers over your body, you immediately sank into your mattress and the soft feeling of the blanket on top of you was making you sleepier.

"Jeez, how long have ya' been up?" His smile dropped a little as he noticed a faint outline of dark circles underneath your eyes. "dunno..." you slurred out and turned to your side, facing him. "Hey, big bro?" you quietly said, Boothill raised an eyebrow "yea?" he asked.

You softly grinned, "Love ya'" you said, then suddenly being interrupted by a yawn. there was silence as your eyes drooped and eventually closed as you fell into a deep slumber.

Boothill stared at your sleeping face, it wasn't exactly surprising that you had said that you loved him. It was just that you didn't say it often, it wasn't that you didn't want to. Boothill's schedule is almost always full, so spending time with him can be hard. A rare soft smile graced his features and he reached over to caress your head.

"I love ya' too, kid." He whispered.

#reader insert #x reader #boothill #honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #gender neutral reader #hsr x reader platonic #hsr platonic #platonic relationships #boothill hsr #boothill honkai star rail #boothill x reader platonic #boothill x reader #reader input #gn reader #child reader #teen reader

[oxygenpdf]

Late night thoughts with Oxygenpdf no.1

F1 2000-2013 friendships: Mark and Alonso, Seb and Kimi.

I should make this a mini series with the way I ramble.

There’s something about the way F1 drivers hug each other sometimes. Like Nando and Mark. Anytime Fernando hugged Mark, he actually hugged him. Held his racing suit tightly, or wrapped his arms around his neck. But it’s like, I dunno, I feel like when friends hug and it looks as securing as it did for them. It does show how safe that friendship was in the end.

Which at the time, a lot of the drivers were, in their respects, close but also extremely competitive. Possibly even more than now. So getting those moments where Redbull drivers like Mark and Sebastian, would find a friendship within a Ferrari driver like Fernando or Kimi. Just highlights how tight knit the grid was.

Same can be said now, truly, but back then it was entirely different. Or just felt different. I dunno, maybe I’m tired or some shit. But I live for those friendships where they can hug within their respects and really show that they’re friends.

Unlike now where Fans jump at the chance to call it “PR” just cause it isn’t their favourite duo.

Not to say Seb and Mark didn’t get on with the rest of the grid. Of course they did. But there’s always that one particular duo that just stands out along the crowd. I myself witnessed nearly the tail end of majority of this. I was also fairly young, practically a child, however growing up and rewatching the races I always spotted how close some driver pairs or trios were. In a very modest and respectful way.

Not to mention the clear and genuine fun a lot of drivers had on the podiums back then. While there was some awkward moments like Lewis and Nico, for brief moments. There was never a shy away moments between Mark, Seb, and Alonso. (And Kimi).

Unless you count the podium where Mark told Alonso he wasn’t going to Ferrari. (I mean what-)

But anyways. Late night thoughts. Late night thoughts. Maybe next one I’ll go into depth on a certain f1 season I enjoyed. Possibly 2023 and possibly 2022. Maybe even a in-depth thought at the 2006 (my birth year) season. Who knows.

Anyways, goodnight.

#late night thoughts #Late night thoughts with Oxygenpdf #formula 1 #f1 #formula one #mark webber #sebastian vettel #kimi raikkonen #fernando alonso #webbonso #sebastian vettel and kimi raikkonen #simi

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

This. This. This entire conversation with Morrigan actually makes me want to sob. She and my Tabris always becomes close friends over the course of DAO; that, paired with the fact that my Tabris always romances Alistair, makes everything about this hurt so much more when you take DAO's ending into account.

Her confusion over why my Tabris didn't send her away. Why she didn't abandon her after they learned of Flemeth's plans. Why Tabris went out of her way to slay Flemeth and bring her the true grimoire. She asks Tabris why, and is baffled when the answer is, "I did it because I'm your friend," as if it's that simple.

The way Morrigan looks at the warden, the way her voice cracks when she says, "I want you to know that while I may not always prove... worthy... of your friendship, I will always value it."

She knows how this will end; Flemeth sent her with the wardens with the end goal of stopping the blight and obtaining the old god soul through the dark ritual. Morrigan knows that Alistair and Tabris are the only Grey Wardens here, and assuming they don't find more, one of them will have to die defeating the archdemon unless they agree to do the dark ritual.

With that context, her asking Alistair, "And what if a Grey Warden has forced to choose between the Warden he loved and ending the Blight? What should his choice be?" suddenly has so much subtext weaved through the words that I'm gonna start foaming at the mouth. She's practically telling Alistair that a warden has to die. She's scrutinizing his reaction to find any hint that suggests he would agree to the dark ritual in order to save himself and the woman he loves. And when he doesn't choose, she has her answer.

Morrigan made comments to Tabris about him, almost hopeful that their relationship was just a physical thing between them and not actually riddled with feelings... and then gives disapproval when Tabris says she loves him.

She doesn't want the warden to die; hell, she doesn't want Alistair to die, either; whether because she does actually care about him or because she knows it'll break her friend's heart if she loses him, or both!

Things would be so much easier if the only two Grey Wardens left to defeat the blight didn't fall in love, wouldn't they, Morrigan?

She knows that in the end, no matter the outcome, she will lose the woman she called sister and it's devastating.

Morrigan, who has never known true friendship. Who grew up isolated in the woods with an abusive mother and terrible implications for her future. Who discovered said mother planned to take over her body just as she did with her other daughters. Who doesn't understand kindness as it was rarely given to her without a catch. Who isolates herself from the others in camp. Who finally has a companion she cares about... and in the end, if her plan works and the dark ritual is completed, she'll end up pregnant and alone and wearing Tabris' resentment like a tender wound on her heart.

Or Tabris will reject the ritual, and will die to the archdemon.

Or her lover will.

I just- the dynamic between the warden, romanced Alistair, and Morrigan is so good and painful and rich that I'm gnawing on furniture as we speak.

#dragon age origins #dao #alistair theirin #dao alistair #dao morrigan #dao tabris #warden tabris #i'm replaying dao right now in case my recent written posts haven't made that obvious #the relationship dynamics the warden has with each of the companions is so so soooo good like there isn't a companion i dislike #i play into the slow burn with alistair's romance but it's not even just the romance aspect it's also their friendship too #playing dao and not romancing alistair would feel wrong at this point for me it's so crucial to the entire story and its development #and i love morrigan's friendship with the warden and how gutted tabris is when she comes clean about everything and offers the ritual #and then bails once everything is over and tabris is torn between hating her and feeling hurt and not wanting morrigan to be alone again #i talked more in depth about morrigan and the ritual in a previous post but it's a lot... especially when it comes to the witch hunt dlc #oh and then there's the friendship between tabris and zevran like don't even get me started on that sksksks i won't be able to stop #even a character like oghren who is the last person you'd think tabris would ever become friends with since he's y'know *oghren* #but i'll go on the record and say there's more to oghren that gets overlooked and overshadowed by his glaring flaws #and i don't wanna talk about leliana... she makes me too sad like ever since my last playthrough where i accidentally triggered her romance #while i was deep in alistair's romance i have a really hard time not reading into the things she says to tabris #in my last playthrough i dunno what i did but she confessed to tabris even though she was fully aware that tabris and alistair were togethe #and it was a *mess* okay like it really felt like we killed marjolaine and leliana was in a vulnerable position yet was hardened enough #to be like 'i know she and alistair are together but i'll take my shot anyway and attempt to break them up' like.... noooooo leliana D: #and the rest of the game it felt like she was bitter and still in love with tabris and i felt *horrible* #i just said i don't wanna talk about it but hhhnnngggg i'm taking extra precautions to not have a repeat of that this time #excuse my tag ramblings i'm just very passionate about dao and the companions okay #also want to note that this is my interpretation of morrigan's motivations based on how i play the game and my warden #so others might view this reaction and the warden/romanced alistair/morrigan dynamic differently and in that case #i would be interested to hear that different interpretations because those are always fun to read

[weirdgirlbymommylonglegs]

there’s being a teenage girl in your 20s then there’s whatever the fuck the babyface by sorry mom experience is

#i absolutely hate the phrase ‘teenage girl in your 20s’ idea it’s infantilising and will only stunt yr mental + emotional development #because if you keep doing that you’ll be 30 something saying shit like ‘i’m a 21 year old in my 30s’ which just sounds worse lol #and so on #and it’s not exactly a new phenomenon either bc women (mainly) will say they’re 21 with x amount of years extra experience #it’s just. idk. the obsession with perpetual yourh looks worse on people who are already young i guess #anyway back to babyface sorry mom. the album of all time; resonates with the ‘teenage girl in your 20s’ idea #(which for me has always been about being directionless and lost in life and feeling younger because you can see all your other 20-something #friends grow up and get jobs and finish their degrees n shit. and that makes you feel younger; almost teenager like) #(whereas i see a lot of people saying ‘teenage girl in my 20s’ as a way of almost bragging about being immature?? #like not knowing how to do things or speak on certain subjects #stuff like ‘when he talks to me about the economy but i’m #literally a teenage girl in my 20s’ LIKE DO YOU NOT HEAR YOURSELF?? #and of course i’m not shaming people for not knowing shit i mean look at me. i can’t drive i have no job and i dropped out of uni #but the REFUSAL to learn is astounding. like people think they can get away with being deliberately oblivious because they have #the self-proclaimed mentality of a teenage girl. and how do you think Actual Teenage Girls feel about people assigning their demographic as #being oblivious and vapid and lacking awareness #you know. traits that have historically been assigned to teenage girls that I Can Actively Remember trying to not associate with. #and my female peers were also arguing against as teenagers. #i dunno. in the words of tame impala it feels like we only go backwards) #long tags #kaycore #(fuck it. putting this in the sorry mom tag) #sorry mom band #babyface sorry mom

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#im just gonna complain abt it here bc i just have to accept that i can't irl bc no one else gets it #its hard to b a dyslexic grad student. u have to read so much. and its good. lots of reading is good. u just have to contend with a soul #crushing amout of discouragement at the fact u just kinda cant read while ur peers r like sure i can read this in class and have things to #say abt it. if u make me read in my head in class i literally cannot fucking tell u what i just read. not a god damn thing and if i try to #let my computer read to me i cant fucking pay attention for long enough so i just have to accept that from here on out ill have to #physically read papers aloud which i hate so much. its the only way i can fucking understand things and it still makes me feel dumb bc ill #somehow still space out while reading and have to reread like 4 times before i understand wtf is being said. it takes forever and it takes #energy and i dont like talking very much and it also restricts me to only being able to read at home which is frustrating #and im like i need to stop my brain from distracting myself with things that dont matter and my counselor is like: ur ocd is trying to make #work ur whole life and im like yeah thats how i got it. its the only way i can keep swimming with the non dyslexics #so its like wtf do i do? i kinda have to take the hit and make work my whole life rn. morn the loss of other things for a while #i dunno im still a bummer rn. like im probably coming off as more an asocial freak than normal bc its hard to talk ans maintain conversation #rn. but whatever. sometimes things just suck and theres nothing u can do abt it but accept it and move on. ill learn lots of things with all #the reading i have to do and that's never a bad thing ...no matter how much i dont give a fuck abt animals #like jesus. i could not even begin to give a fuck about like 95% of mammals. fish r cool tho. plants too #but microbes is where its at. i dont understand y ppl dont understand how cool they r. oh well ill just have to tell them #if i can find my fucking enthusiasm. ugh i have to make one of my classes read a paper and i have to work with someone abt find it. she #works with like rabbits. i refuse to assign a mammal paper. i fucking refuse. we will do plants or microbes or fucking paleontology #i will fight her on this. ugh. light filtering or orchid speciation would b perfect. annoying #at least i get to work with some culturs this week #unrelated

[calamitydaze]

long tag ramble below u have been warned

#ok i feel like i should say Something before i start being active again #but i dont want it to be a Statement which is why i’m putting it in the tags #(also bc i procrastinated doing this for weeks so i know this is a very stale topic by now #but i also haven’t been on tumblr literally at all so this is 100% my organic authentic opinion lmao) #so read if you gaf and ignore if you don’t #anyway: george def could’ve done more to ensure she was comfortable #and as someone who has also gotten in over my head with older men and regretted it #her hurt is valid and i’m deeply sorry she feels the way she does about that night #but with that said i see no reason to believe george Should have known how she really felt #or that he deliberately took advantage of either her youth/inexperience or her discomfort #and that’s the most important thing for me— he fucked up and misread a situation but that doesn’t make him an evil person #and i hope they can both move on and grow and heal #as for my future in the fandom: i honestly dunno how active i’ll be going forward #i was already becoming pretty disconnected so this might’ve just sped up the process? i’m tired of being put through the wringer #but i also don’t really have a fandom to replace this so i might just continue casually participating in the way i have been #either way rest assured i will never become a rabid anti. that shits embarrassing #i got HORRIBLE drolo rsd the other day when tommy’s mom needed clout and vagued him so like if nothing else. droloisms are forever #also as a last thing— this feels kinda silly and self centered to say but i will anyway #sorry for not opening up my blog as a forum for discussion again the way i did with the drituation #i know i helped a lot of people sort out their feelings and that was (and is) really really important to me #but it also tanked my mental health (mostly as a result of the fallout and not the act itself but still) #plus my life irl was pretty stressful at the time when everything was first going down #so i just didn’t feel up to putting myself through that again #but i’m sorry if anyone wanted to discuss w me but wasn’t able to #anyway. i think that’s all i have to say! #i don’t want to turn this into a capital D discussion but as always my askbox and dms are open #love you all tons! i hope you’re having a good day 🫂🫶 #bella talks

[yellowocaballero]

ZAZIE/WOLFWOOD?!

AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YEAH.

It would have been dishonest to be too explicit about it so I just had to write them flirting and desperately hope that it would come through. If it didn't for somebody I don't blame them. Wolfwood doesn't show how he feels with words. He mostly just observes. Sometimes very aggressively.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but Zazie/WW had to happen. I struggled a shitton with the epilogue (this is a theme with this story), and I debated with myself a lot over if it was truly necessary. Eventually I had to decide that it was. This was partly because of Zazie - I felt as if they were a big loose end that I needed to explain ("What was up with what they did in the hidden city? How come they wanted WW to join the Gung Ho Guns? Where did Wolfwood get that gun? Were they helping Vash or Knives or what?"), and I didn't want to let Vash's story end on nothing more than a desperate desire. And I needed to prove the point that this was Wolfwood's story.

The gigantic barrier in the epilogue that sent it skidding to a halt was the fact that, basically, if Wolfwood saw Vash being ""besties"" with another twelve year old he would kill him or die trying. And there is no way he would ever, ever buy the amnesia story. Ever. So he had to get the amnesia story from a source that a) knew and knew for certain, b) had a reason for telling Wolfwood this, and c) that he trusted (kinda). Only Zazie made sense. So I had to figure out why Zazie would do that. Lots of reasons, for thematic and symbolic and foil reasons, but Zazie helps WW a lot, and why does WW trust him anyway, and...WELP. Romance: helpful for explaining irrationality.

The implication for me personally is that an essential trait of WW that persists across dimensions is that he's into aliens. Which. Sure. Why not.

The epilogue felt bizarre to write and read for a lot of reasons. Through Wolfwood's eyes, it's truly a different story. I don't think Knives understood how deeply Vash fucked Wolfwood up. Knives doesn't really see the consequences of his actions and his true impact. Good and bad. In many ways Knives was Wolfwood's Rem. That feels like...the final thing to me. A big thread through the story was "What is the impact of your actions?", because Knives and Vash had done things that had catastrophic impact that determined the future of humanity and Choices Have Consequences, but Knives lives based on creating the best impact and Vash lives based on following the best intentions without truly understanding the horrible impact (which is a big thing in Trigun itself). Wolfwood was the best way to show those impacts. And Knives leaving the impact of Rem on Wolfwood changed his life. It created a good person. Out of everybody, you know, Wolfwood deserved the chance to be a good person. I'm glad that the story worked out so he could have that. And date a bug person. Why not.

#so good to talk about this after the story is done #i kept so much of every character back until the end that i couldn't rly say much lmfao #esp b4 knives met b&l because they explain 75% about him #something to me that made the rem thing obvious but may have not been obvious: #in 98 Vash chooses not to kill Monev the Gale in Diablo because it would 'betray Rem' #and Vash thinks that if he kills somebody then she would truly die #Rem lives on through Vash's religious following of her rules and if Vash breaks that then he's lost the last aspect of her #at the end of the episode he's like “is this the right thing to do” #he doesn't even KNOW- it's not about that. #this is why i call vash selfish (affectionate) a lot #anyway when WW says that hurting somebody from fear makes him feel for the first time as if Doc's truly abandoned him #that's the connection. dunno how obvious. anyway! #my writing #my asks

[cowardlycowboys]

those "are you lgbtq+ polls" are so silly honestly because of course almost everyone is gonna vote yes.... that's the audience you've curated like and the chances of it "breaking containment" is unlikely even if you had all your followers reblog it because they probably also run in those same circles

#omg kiera no one cares #like i get why we're seeing so many and not just for fun #is because tumblr said only a quarter of its userbase is lgbtq and people think that's untrue #but you 100% do make your own circle and see no other outside that unless u choose too #like i saw someone say on that official tumblr post I've NEVER seen a cishet on tumblr #like buddy i know several cishet people on tumblr you just don't see them because that's the circle you run in #which is great that's how i like it !!! #i don't like how on twitter i can see anyones fucking ideas and opinions on things while here i have definitely curated my own space #that i feel safe and nice in minus a few times when people are weird #like i dunno i think it's just a bit silly and it's okay to do those polls for like fun but you're not gonna get any REAL proof I'm sorry #amyway i voted no on a recent one i saw even tho that is NOT TRUE because i needed to add realism #like one of the perks of this site IS you curate your own space!!! but i think a lot of people are forgetting that right now #for some reason

[moongothic]

Absolutely losing my fucking mind over the KSBD page like. Fuck. Fucking fuck. God. Fuck.

We’ve watched Allison go through absolute fucking hell, so much pain, suffering and heartbreak, and now we get to see a glimpse of her ASCENCION

And as if that wasn’t touching enough as it was, like

Like we’ve slowly over the course of the story met and gotten to know all Demiurges

We’ve seen all the dope ass introductions to them that I can not even fucking include here in full because there’s so many and they’re full page panels BUT YOU GET WHAT I MEAN

We’ve met the other Demiurges over the past 5 books, a process that has taken 8 years in real time

And like, all this time, we all thought this fucking comic, this god damn story, was about the task Zoss gave Allison back in Book 1, the reason he gave her the key, the mission he sent her on

We thought that’s what the title drop was

But no

Zoss was calling Allison by her true name

The name she has now claimed, with her ascencion

And I’m not fucking okay bro what the fuck

#Mine #Text post #KSBD #KSBD Spoilers #You know althought there's a lot of media I enjoy there's only a few pieces of media that I can genuinely say changed me as a person #(/is a foundational piece of media for me) (Those being Don Rosa- FFIX and One Piece) #((Which considdering the fact that most people would considder me a Digimon fan first and foremost says a lot)) #And here's fucking. KSBD. Crawling its way into that tiny fucking group of stories #About to fundamentally change me as a person and how I view storytelling #This fucking comic man god dammit #AND NO I KNOW THIS MOMENT ISN'T EVEN THAT REVOLUTIONARY OR ANYTHING #THIS IS BASIC STORY TELLING #BUT LIKE. I DUNNO MAN IT FUCKING SHATTERED MY KNEES ANYWAYS #I'm so fucking used being completely fucking NUMB to stories and never feeling a god damn thing about anything #Just let me have this man I'm experiencing the first emotion about a story in a long time JUST LET ME HAVE THIS #(Also I may be calling this basic storytelling but being basic is fine ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU DO IT THIS FUCKING GOOD)

[orcelito]

Ykno the common critique I've seen around is that trimax fights r hard to follow & such. And I've always had the kind of thought of like "I mean sometimes it can be confusing, but if u stop to study it it's really not that bad"

Having a fight analysis post kinda blow up tho I'm seeing ppl comment over and over in the tags about how hard it is to keep up with the fights... and I'm just like. Is it really that confusing? Like genuinely. I thought it was one of those overblown fan critiques but it seems like a Lot of people agree with it.

#speculation nation #in the original manga Yea fights were pretty hard. took me a Lot of squinting to figure out what actually happened with the Nebraskas #but idk most of the fights r just vibes. u follow along and feel what the characters r feeling and the fine details dont matter. #a lot of times i do end up flipping back and forth between pages bc there r details revealed later on that make earlier things make sense #or just looking for clarification. that kind of thing. #so yeah it kinda does take some work to fully understand it but i kinda figured that's like... how manga fights go... #i much prefer this over the common shounen trope of stopping the fight to explain every single move that's done #so im just like 'come ON i already understood it!!! can we keep going already????' #is it the fact that nightow doesnt do this that makes it so confusing??? so ppl dont get the play by play as it happens??? #this all probably sounds obnoxious but im just genuinely trying to make sense of it. #i guess im also just a perceptive person when im paying attention to smth. maybe that's what it ultimately boils down to. #one person commented saying theyd kill if i did play by plays for all the trimax fights lol #i probably wont for All of them bc that sounds like quite a project #but if another catches my attention in this same sorta way... then maybe. #i guess understanding nightow's fights is a skill. probably at least partially assisted by being able to read the sound effects. #oh yeah. that's another thing lol. i can read the sound effects. and that especially helps with knowing how many shots there are #stuff like that. 🤔 yea i dunno. i wasnt expecting that post to get so many notes. #but it's well over 400 now and still counting. waking up to 99+ notifications is... an experience lmao

[mrpsychokiller]

i keep having embarrassingly deeper-than-they-should feelings about caboose that im not sure what to do about, with how i feel like i relate in a pretty genuine and sweet way to him in an autistic level and i do feel like reading him that way makes real sense but im just incapable of feeling very good about it when its very very clear caboose's neurodivergent esque behavior is applied exclusively to make the butt of the joke off how stupid he is. i care about him a lot as a character but i mostly just wanna rip him off r-slur-loving rooster teeth's hands and handle him with a minimum level of respect

#i dunno i feel about bad about it like if i even acknowledge my reading of him it comes off badly when once again hes the dumb one #going off topic onto a tangent i think i just yearn for a fictional representation of autism that isnt just easy and palatable #like there are lots and lots of autistic and autistic coded and autistic read/head cannoned characters out there #but it feels like its always just. nice character whos very nerdy about a subject or is kinda weird or awkward at times #its always just this ''high functional'' kind of autism where the proof theyre autistic are a few traits here and there #there just arent characters who stutter and mumble and get lost with words and sound weird and have weird voices #and say genuinely weird things in genuinely inappropriate times. who genuinely come off as weird or dumb or childish #who struggle with simple things or dont get concepts or instructions or things said at them #autism that isnt quirky or always fun or always endearing or easy to deal with or easy to dismiss #i cant think of a single character in media who i relate with in an autistic level in how my autism actually feels beyond the superficial #and i think thats why i get a genuine comfort in caboose of all things #in how unapologetically and undeniably weird and kinda dumb and kinda childish he comes off #and it isnt always nice and it annoys and troubles the people around him and of course himself beyond a way he can control #i get touched by the moments here and there when people actually treat him well #when tucker takes some time to gently explain to him that church isnt coming back. #and when hes given a sincerely emotional moment to say goodbye to church and well as that one episode of season 14 #or generally when characters are nice to him or talk in ways he can understand better #i dunno i just really do like him #which i guess just backfires when it feels specially hurtful when hes called dumb and stupid and is hated and threatened #and condescend upon and treated as useless and incompetent and just a burden the others need to take care of #mannnnn i hate rooster teeth #🧃

[surreal-duck]

absolutely love reading tags on my art and i adore each and every single nice thing anyone has ever left on them whether its an “aww nice” a keysmash or an analysis that spans three or more tags but this takes the cake for one of my all time favorites

#yeah when i really like something it does not live rent free in my brain its in an all expenses paid penthouse for real #duck rants about something #ok but i do have almost every single nice tag ppl have left on my art since i started this blog saved somewhere and its just really nice to #look through whenever im having a bad time #(which has decidedly been all the time lately) #dunno sometimes i feel like im probably not enough. im fairly okayish in terms of skill among my year and considering more than half of the #kids in it are a year or so younger than me really got me to take a hit to my already low self esteem #so seeing ppl enjoy my silly art is just!! really uplifting im glad i can make one or more ppl's day a bit better with it #iirc this one specifically was from my s.k8 art from 2020 but i think abt it a lot #well anyways thank you to anyone who has ever left anything nice in the tags or a reply or a comment i appreciate every single one of them #i really cant say how much it means to me. genuinely. this past year has been one of the most hellish ones ive had but i really cant count #the amount of times my day had been made better by them #you guys are real ones

[solardistress]

the only flag i need is the bisexual one its where i live

#its where i lay every second of every day #god beautiful boys and handsome girls….. theyre everywhere and i fall in love with them every time #esp this one guy hes great 💃💃 i heart him lots he deserves the world #the stars the sky the moon the sun every glimmering things out in the universe seen in his eyes as they light up #what am i talking abt ? i dunno. hes beautiful to me. #he deserves so much. actually. so much love and appreciatation. so many things #maybe not the moon though. the moon knows what i say to it i dont need it telling him all those things the moon is mine #he can have the sun #he IS like the sun in a way #i cant really ever look at him for long i end up smiling like an idiot #lights up my days #yknow how it is #moon is almost always smiling and i cant see what the suns face looks like but hell its bright. and it feels happy. warm. bright.delightful #what was this post abt again? ive already forgotten #ah yes. bisexual. yes. wonderful things when you get choice but would they ever be the sun to my moon? the light to my night? #the joy to my day? #no i didnt think so #theyre one of a kind #anyway what am i talking abt again? bisexual? oh yeah im that i guess haha

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#ugh. im feeling chatty today. probably bc i feel kinda weirdly anxious. like when u can Imagine bad things happening in detail #and like it feels like ur wait for it even tho its in ur imagination? whatever. anyway. ive been watching a lotta #stuff on like professional artists and idk maybe im just in too deep on science academia but i dont. i dunno the culture #seems so weird to me? like what does one do in art school? i guess i took a lot of art in high school but my teacher was kinda trash #all we did was paint realisticly using a grid and i hated that. but i image ur supposed to exercise different styles and medias? how tf #does that get graded? i dunno. i haven't taken any uni level art classes. i should tho. id probably like it #its weird tho. anything that tries to give structure to art stuff seems so weird to me. like u go to school for science stuff to build up #ur background knowledge and i guess u can do that with art but it feels different. i guess bc ur training muscle memory. i dunno #i like to imagine an au where i go to art school but i legitimately cannot fathom doing that. cannot fathom a life outside of my toxic #relationship with academia. i dont even kno what i would want to specialize if i went down that path. maybe illustration #bc it makes me happy when ppl say my style looks like something out of a kids book. i dunno #i guess classes would help with things like forcibly learning shadows and anatomy and composition #maybe i just need to make art friends. like what is ur life like? im too much in a science bubble #i guess going to art school also just devotes all ur time to art. not just tiny pockets of time between all the things u have to get done #god. i can only imagine the panic of procrastinating an art project and physically not having enough time to finish it #thats how i felt with my masters thesis. there was just physically not enough time for me to fix my code in all the ways i needed and rew #rewrite things. but i finished it somehow #ugh. god. i have things i need to finish coloring. i will finish them today. i will #i hate coloring. but colors r so pretty ;_; #unrelated

[blujayonthewing]

I am in and out of the art discords I'm in now because I get on and off overwhelmed by being in a discord but I really appreciate that they're Nice To Be In and I like them very much

#just thinking about how my friend started streaming art and had a discord and everything and it became unappealing to me SO fast #very quickly dominated/ overwhelmed by Drawings Georg who posts fifteen times a day which idk... set a weird tone I guess? #it was a small community to begin with and a lot of us didn't post very often either #like... it felt more like the discord was this guy's art twitter a lot of the time? #intimidating and a little offputting... and look-- nice guy! friendly- usually left nice comments on other people's art #but-- I dunno the best way to explain the vibe is to say hardly anyone is ever active in that server anymore but he still posts every day #I'll open the server and it'll just be a wall of his posts with no comments or feedbacks or reactions cause no one's been on #ANYWAY. the discords I'm in right now feel good and nice and I like them and I like being in them #even if I am not very active very often #thank you art friends 😊 I love you 😊💕 #about me