love to hate you
Characters: rich boy!Chenle & female reader
Setting & genre: (one-sided) childhood ‘enemies’ to academic rivals (idiots) to lovers, college au
Summary: It was hate at first sight.
Warnings: petty arguments (MC and Chenle make everything a competition), prejudices against people based on their financial background, swear words, alcohol consumption, brief mentions of past bullying, probably inaccurate descriptions of Shanghainese college life
Words: 11.6k
Author’s note: inspired by this prompt. for @lily-blue (you haven’t guessed him, right?) <3
Love at first sight? Fuck that. It was hate at first sight.
You first met Zhong Chenle in kindergarten at the tender age of four. He was the new kid – ‘your new playmate’ as the teachers had previously told you – yet he was walking around as if he owned the place. In retrospect, you shouldn’t have been surprised since his father indeed owned the literal building in which the kindergarten resided in but four-year-old you had no idea and were pissed at this charming little kid stealing your friends with his cool games and offers of sleepovers at his home – which had an indoor pool, an arcade, a home cinema and everything one could image, so no wonder the other kids turned star-eyed at such an opportunity. Not that you weren't invited. Zhong Chenle’s mother invited everyone from your group, if not the entire children population of the kindergarten, to her son’s 5th birthday. Chenle was friends with basically everyone or rather everyone seemed to be friends with him, everyone but you. Because by the first time you two interacted, he had already befriended Jiayun who then pointed at you with that snarky little tilt of his mouth, a grimace you had already known, and said:
“Let her be. She’s weird. She doesn’t have a father and her family is poor.”
Children can be hurtful with their words and actions without knowing or meaning to. Children also have no perspective of rich and poor within the walls of the kindergarten, so later you realized he could have only said such a thing if he had heard it from adults, probably his parents, and it had been his parents too who had brought him up to be selfish and to keep his friends to himself.
But it was Chenle who had seen you for the first time then and looked at you with pity in his big brown eyes already. You felt your lower lip tremble, you didn’t want anyone’s pity, much less someone’s who didn’t even know you. You were such a child but a proud one, so you didn’t want to be friends with somebody who looked at you like that. You aren’t a charity case despite your family background or whatever you believed he thought about it back then.
“As if I wanted to play with you. You are gross,” you threw whatever you had in your hands, some kind of toy probably, at the two boys without thinking.
You, daughter of an industry worker, were scolded later by the kindergarten teacher for hurting the oh so sweet Chenle, son of a businessman and Jiayun, son of a doctor. Your mother was called in too, for a reminder that you were only in this prestigious institution because of the childcare program of her workplace. Later, you learned that it had been a warning. Like everything when it came to Zhong Chenle and his kind.
After kindergarten, your paths took different turns and you forgot about the young boy with manic laughter and schedule full of piano lessons, horse riding practice and other stuff your mom used to call ‘crazy rich bullshit’. But then Zhong Chenle walked into your Introduction to Economics class during your first year of university at Shanghai's best business school and once again, he was there to ruin it all.
You tried to be the bigger person at first, trying to treat him like every other classmate but what actually pissed you off is that he didn't even seem to remember you. Oh sure, you were just a speck of dust among diamonds in someone like Zhong Chenle's life, someone insignificant, easy to forget. Sure, there might have been ten or so kids in the group, it might have been only 2 years what you had spent together and it might have been over 12 years since. Logically, you knew you shouldn't have blamed him, at least not him alone but it was hard not to when his appearance had turned your simple, idyllic childhood upside down. There he was forgetting you like one forgets boring lyrics while you, on the other hand, spent your entire life working your ass off to prove that it didn't matter: that maybe your mother raised you alone, maybe you could never afford to go to vacations abroad but you were dead set on leading a successful life, so people like him who were born with the silver spoon wouldn't look at you with pity. So you studied hard, became the best student in your classes and later class president, worked multiple part-time jobs to afford after-school academy to not burden your mother who had been already working hard to afford a good high school after you passed the placement test, you then graduated with flying colours to earn a scholarship at one of the most prestigious institutes of Shanghai, if not entire China.
Hence, if the golden boy ever just acknowledged your presence with something akin to recognition, you might have just noted that he at least remembered how much he had ruined your joyful kindergarten days and you would have been able to forgive him. You had been just kids after all, he acted the same way he had been taught at home, he hadn't known better. But he didn't spare you a second glance, not even after your name was called during the first, second, third attendance check. Him lacking care just proved what you had already believed yet, it made you furious and fury made you more competitive than ever. Suddenly, you didn't care about being the top of every class, every debate and every competition possible, you just needed to be better than Zhong Chenle.
Being better than Zhong Chenle however wasn't an easy thing to do. He was annoyingly smart, quick-witted, his charms (if not his family's money) got every professor by his side and he lied through a smile.
You kept reminding yourself that it wasn't high school anymore but the way girls turned after him, whispering behind his back and blushed whenever he looked their way made it feel like it. And he wasn't even the typical Chinese definition of handsome. He didn't have sharp enough features, thin enough face, or a high enough nose bridge. Instead, he had smooth lines, plump lips and a big head. His ego must not have fit in smaller, you thought pettily. In your memories he was a scrawny kid with short, dark hair and cheeks that puffed out when he smiled. That was still the same even though he had grown taller, his shoulders had gotten wider and he had dyed his hair a pastel colour. He wore designer clothes, an Apple Watch and carried fancy bags while walking around with confidence. The same arrogance you had hated before you could name it.
But the most Zhong Chenle thing about him was his eyes: cheerful on the surface but sharp underneath, cutting and arrogant, full of pity as he looked at you when you got a point less on a case study analysis. It was the third time in a row. You made a show out of burning a hole into his skull while the professor was busy reciting an ode about how profound and high-level his deduction skills were. He just smirked at you.
"Don't be so sad, sweetheart, you can do better next time," he said when he passed by you in the corridors later, his wink irking you a lot. He made you feel like high school all over again: childish and competitive.
The first time you saw him outside of the classroom environment, it was at a university party in your second year during Qingming Festival and he had a wide, starry eyed, taller boy under his wings.
It didn’t surprise you because Chenle had many friends at university, too, that hadn’t seemed to change since his kindergarten days. Whether it was his own charm or his family’s money however, it was hard to tell. You didn’t even care, you didn’t want to do anything with him. Being in one kindergarten group was one thing but university must have been different, right? You tried to avoid him as much as you could. It must have been big enough for you two to not interact more than necessary, right? Wishful thinking because even at a party with dozens, if not hundreds, of people, he somehow ended up at your table where you were left alone by your friends. Shuhua was getting drinks and Yiren was on the dance floor with a boy she knew from her hometown, so you were by yourself, snacking peanuts and bobbing your head to the music when a body collided with the table and you looked up at a smiley, tipsy boy, followed by Zhong Chenle as if he was dog sitting a misbehaving puppy.
“Hi, I’m Mark, nice to meet you,” the former spoke up, his words accented, so you could tell Mandarin wasn’t his first language.
You glanced at Chenle, suspicious, wondering if it was some of the games of the wealthy ones to play with you but the wide eyed boy in front of you seemed harmless, at least to you, you wouldn’t have been sure about himself.
“He’s a Canadian exchange student. The Baijiu hit him hard,” Chenle clarified even though you didn’t ask. Although it explained the accent and why the lanky boy was behaving like that, you decided to ignore your classmate after switching to English and introducing yourself to Mark. In the meantime Chenle was busy making sure the over-zealous boy didn’t spill his drink but soon he gave up with a sigh because of the other’s unnecessarily big gestures, not that you cared, you just asked the exchange student if he was enjoying the party.
“Oh, man, it’s so good,” he grinned at you, obviously enthusiastic and very much chatty as he proceeded to tell about how he didn’t even know about this holiday but he was invited by someone called Renjun whom he lost after his first round of shots and that was how Chenle found him. It still didn’t explain why he walked up to your table to just talk but he was drunk, so maybe you shouldn’t have tried so hard to find an explanation.
“Are you here alone?” Mark blurted out, true wonders in his eyes as he asked and you were starting to think that this was the part where you would be hit on by a guy who wouldn’t even remember it the next day, but before you could have told him that no, you were with your friends, he continued. “Chenle thinks you are pretty.”
There was a beat of silence, at least it felt like it despite the too loud music playing from the speakers, as your gaze met the shorter boy’s. You didn’t know how to feel about the statement and about what it entailed because it would have been one thing for Zhong Chenle to think you were pretty (not that you needed his validation) but an entirely different thing to tell about it to others. What kind of prank was he trying to pull off?
“I said ‘pretty annoying’, you idiot,” the boy in question clicked his tongue, rolling his eyes in annoyance as the English words rolled off his tongue. The whole situation made you snort. Of course, why would the university’s golden boy, who always placed ahead of you tests, have called you pretty, especially in front of a drunk exchange student who didn’t seem to shut his mouth?
“Talking about people’s backs? Calling me annoying doesn’t make it better either,” you retorted in your native language, not sure if Mark had good senses enough to detect the sarcasm in a language he didn’t know that well. You didn’t expect more from the likes of Zhong Chenle, rich boys only caring about the things they could afford. You went to enough prestigious institutions on scholarship and thanks to your mothers’ hard work to know the kind. It was just like in kindergarten: people with silver spoons were encouraged to avoid those who had grown up among weeds.
“I’m just honest. What do you want? A written apology? Don’t act almighty as if you didn’t badmouth me behind my back, too,” he remarked but he didn’t seem mad or annoyed, he said it matter-of-factly as if he was used to it. As if it was getting boring and you had to bite your tongue because you knew he was right: you did complain about him a lot to your friends. Every single time when he flashed that annoying smirk at you.
It was that moment when you realized that it was the first kind of proper conversation you had with him because you never talked with him in or outside of class and obviously you didn’t have heart-to-heart sessions in kindergarten either, especially after that incident with Jiayun. Yet, he managed to annoy the hell out of you like this, too. You sighed.
“What do you want? I have had enough of your games back in kindergarten,” you said pointedly and the way Chenle furrowed his eyebrows made it clear he was trying to wack his mind to figure out why you brought up such a young age and maybe it was a realization (finally?) or just pity but his eyes widened as he opened his mouth to speak. You never got to know what he wanted to say though.
“Guys, are you flirting or arguing? I really can’t tell,” Mark whined in English between the two of you, his balance kept only by the table’s steadiness and you couldn’t help but laugh at his cluelessness. Flirting? You and Chenle? It was ridiculous and seeing his expression, for once, the boy seemed to agree with you.
“Man, you are wasted,” he groaned, dragging out his syllables to show his irritance. “We’re leaving.”
He said it with such conviction that Mark had no chance objecting and you were kind of glad he did because you didn’t want to explain the two guys’ presence to Shuahua when she would get back with your drinks.
“Oh, and if you feel wronged and petty over something that happened a decade ago, try to find something better to obsess over, we are not kids anymore,” Chenle turned back to you with words cold like ice and a cutting tone which had you clench your jaw, not knowing how to answer because his claim felt both offensive (easy for him to say!) and right (no, you indeed weren’t kids anymore).
Mark waved you goodbye with a giddy grin but you just sat there with your leftover peanuts thinking: you just let Zhong Chenle walk over you and won once again. Admitting defeat hurt more than him calling you annoying or petty. You wouldn’t have cared about those if you had taught him a lesson just once about how it felt being on the sore losing side. Right?
Zhong Chenle's life was picture perfect.
He had grown up in a loving family as the second son of a successful businessman. He was an exception to China's one child policy because when you had money, such things didn't apply to you. Chenle had learned at a young age how much influence wealth had meant but for the longest time he didn't know what he had in his life – the dozens of gifts, the overseas island vacations, the buildings his father owned, the private piano lessons from genius pianists and all that – wasn't given to everyone. He had an apartment on his name in Shanghai at the ripe age of 18 as a birthday gift, he had a bank account full of money despite never working before, he had many friends just as influential and wealthy and he was on the top of his major at university. It sounded perfect, didn't it?
But nothing could be such a thing without at least a few drawbacks. What flaws a problem-free life could have one could ask but anybody in Chenle's shoes could tell them about how it's always about money with him. Whatever he did, people always asked about his family, his connections, his prestigious schools, his competitions, his future that might not have been decided for him but was expected of him anyways. Those damned expectations all the damn time. People rarely asked about him: what he liked, what he didn't, what he did just for fun or else they expected grandiose things like jet skiing in their private holiday house just because he could do so.
It was hard to make friends, true friends who didn't care about his wealth or had some other kind of interior motive because of his family. The boy had to learn the hard way that some people only befriended him to get into specific circles, to get into specific clubs, and some girls only dated him for expensive dates and gifts because he didn't care about price when it came to such things. At one point, he had thought that he would be better off with people in his class (whatever that ‘same class’ bullshit was he hated it but back then he hadn't known better) because they had less to gain with his closeness but he had to face the cruel truth that everybody wanted a piece of what they thought Zhong Chenle was. The wealthy might not want simply money but worse: they made a business deal out of everything, they put a price tag on his friendship or whatever they thought of it.
So Chenle had grown up to be a boy whose true attachment and care was hard to earn behind his goofy smiles and sparkling, always amused eyes. He always had people around him but he rarely had people at his, that place was only for the ones really close to him, the ones he really trusted, the ones who knew the real him. He could probably count the people who qualified the criteria on two hands: Qian Kun, his piano teacher who had known him for 10 years and whom he always teased with leading a boring life; Dong Sicheng, another big brother-like friend, son of one of his parents' friends; Huang Renjun from the facultative Art class he took in his first semester at university out of curiosity and who acted like he didn't give a shit about anything but was probably one of the most caring souls Chenle had ever met and for that he kept teasing him; Dejun and Yangyang, his online gaming bros who cared more about his scores than the amount of ¥ in his account, so he had already invited him over to play if they ever went to Shanghai; Mark Lee, the exchange student he had stumbled upon on campus and felt bad for because he had looked like a lost puppy and he was as harmless as one with his bright eyes at everything; and of course, Ning Yizhuo. his oldest friend to date and one of the most girly girls Chenle knew. They lived in the same neighborhood and attended the same elementary school and befriended at the age where kids made friends from one day to another only to forget them a week later yet they stuck together through thick and thin: Chenle was there for her when a boy broke her heart for the first time and she was there for him when he realized he had become just a paycheck for one of his best friends at the time. Many thought that at one point they would end up together but the boy couldn't imagine himself seeing her as anything but a cute little sister, especially not with how she was still reluctant to admit that he was better at PUBG after he had beaten her!
And then there was you.
Not as a friend, of course, god forbid! But if there were 1) the close friends, 2) the acquittances who might have thought they were casual friends and 3) the ones who wanted to take advantage of him, then there must have been another category, too: people who hated him not for who he was but for what he represented because there was no way you could have known him.
It wasn't his fault that he was born into a rich family, it wasn't his fault that he was loved by his parents and didn't turn out like an arrogant asshole, so if you wanted to hate him for something, you could have only rightfully done so because he worked harder. He didn't get his grades on a silver plate like he would get a job at his father's company or even a private jet. He actually studied hard to not disappoint but he wasn't particularly interested in business, so he found it dull and at one point, ironically you made it fun again. You with your pouts and eye rolls, you with your annoyed wrinkles between your eyebrows when he got the question right before you, you with your rivalry he didn't exactly understand where it had come from, not even after your comment at the Qingming party but at least he could be sure that you didn't want anything from him, so he went along with this, provoking you with his smug grins and cocky shrugs whenever he got better scores or faster answers than you. He found it cute when you were angry.
And oh how angry you must have been under the surface when Miss Xu handed over the application form for the national business case study competition.
"It would be great if the two of you could represent our universities. Your performance was outstanding in your tests and essays separately, so I'm sure you would be a very strong team in this competition. The application deadline is the end of semester and then we would have the entire summer break to prepare, so take your time thinking it through and get back to me if you have decided," she smiled at both of you politely but obviously hopeful.
Oh how fun, Chenle thought with an amused grin when the professor left to give you time and space for you to talk.
"I guess, we will be seeing each other a lot this summer. If you don’t act petty that is," he raised a brow challengingly at you as if your answer wasn't even a question. He had already known you couldn't back down, not from a competition even if it wasn't against him. He might not have known your reason for being so obsessed with being the best but he could understand the urge to say yes to challenges. Seeing through the cracks of your thick walls was one hell of a challenge after all and it had been a while he had as much fun as to see you suffer. He was already anticipating this summer.
You already hated this summer.
No, not because you couldn't laze around since you had a competition to prepare for but because you had to endure Zhong Chenle's almighty presence even during breaks. Sure, you could have said no, you could have avoided the whole situation altogether by telling Miss Xu that you didn't want to participate in this contest or simply that you weren't interested or didn't have time. But Chenle's last sentence irked you more than you would have liked to admit and there was no way you would let him think that you would run away or be more childish than he was, so applying it was.
At first, it only meant weekly meetings in your over-enthusiastic mentor's office room on the campus to discuss your findings about the case she had assigned to you the week before but it didn't take long for Miss Xu to put two and two together and realize that you and your teammate didn't interact outside of this practice at all. It was pretty evident that you didn't come to her as a team but individuals because you kept pointing out weak reasonings and faulty findings in each other's proposed solution. You started pity fights over matters of definitions or different interpretation of the text, about the importance of sustainability or company reputation, so no wonder even the young professor had enough at one point. You had it long coming if you wanted to be honest.
"You do realize that it isn't a competition between the two of you but you against other schools’ representatives, right? Will you keep arguing the whole time when you will have to solve the case assigned on the spot? You need to learn how to work together," Miss Xu reminded your duo while looking from one of you to the other. "It's good that you have different opinions and ideas but when the other shares them, don't just think about why it's not as good as yours but try to take it into consideration, too. You will have to agree on what to present as your final agreed solution at the competition after all."
For a long moment there was only silence following your quick, quiet apologies but then Chenle had to speak up and hit your nerves:
"I'm sorry for disappointing you, Miss Xu, it's just... she's impossible to work with."
"I'm impossible?? It was you who nitpicked on my perfectly viable proposition about the material shortage," you shrieked at which the boy rolled his eyes, already having his retort ready. But before he could have opened his mouth and blabber about nonsense, the professor intervened.
"Alright, you two, that's it for today," she sighed, looking through her papers to look for a new case to assign for your next session of practice while you folded your arms in front of your chest, refusing to look at the boy in the chair next to you. You didn't want to do anything with him in the next seven days until you had to meet up like this again. But you really weren't in the favor of Fortuna as it seemed. "Since you two get personal even when you shouldn't, your task for next week will be a bit different: analyze each other as if they were a case to solve. I want a page long, honest analysis from both of you and then I want you two to meet up and discuss your findings. Then write a paper about how your perception of the other has changed. I want both papers to be handed to me in two weeks and while I won't read these because it's your private business, I will know if you fill the paper with bullshit or skip out the meeting."
The new task rendered both of you speechless but you couldn't even protest because Miss Xu was already standing up and signaling you to pack up.
Walking out of her office with Chenle on your side had never felt so... nerve-wracking? Gosh, what kind of analysis it was! You shot the guy a resentful glance as if this punishment was all his fault and you saw the corner of his mouth twitch in what looked like amusement. Did he enjoy it? Or did he just enjoy your suffering? You genuinely couldn't tell and that was just one more proof that you didn't know him, but it didn't mean that you particularly wanted to. You came from two different worlds after all and your paths had already crossed each other more than they should have. There was no point in getting to know each other, not even for the sake of a competition but you weren't a rebellious student who could just ignore their teacher's words. You wondered if it simply wasn't the same for Chenle or he thought his charm could get him out of this as well because he left you without a word, without discussing anything about how you will meet up, as if it was just another boring case study the two of you took home to think over. Maybe for him it was and his nonchalance annoyed you even more.
chenle: how's your diss rap going lol?
Your phone pinged with the new notification and looking at the sender, it was easy to figure out that Zhong Chenle looked you up on social media to be able to get in contact just two days before your deadline. You were actually surprised he did because you were already planning to let go of your pride and search for his contact info a day before you would have to hand in two papers out of which you were merely done with one. Even that was an overstatement: you had a list of qualities you didn't like in Zhong Chenle but after you wrote all that you felt a tad bit bad and added a few sentences about how he was indeed irritatingly smart and witty which the professors seemed to love in him. He also had this magnetic aura that drew in people. Your analysis was simple based on all that: he had grown up without much hardships and he had gotten used to getting whatever he wanted and things going the way he wanted, no wonder he became arrogant and oh so cocky. What more was there to say? Should you have pointed out that he looked down on people like you and how it probably hurt his pride that he had to be in a team with someone like you, someone coming from not even a middle class fractured family? So what if your hatred had come from kindergarten if it was well-founded?
you: you could say so. curious?
You texted back instead of wasting more time asking about how he got your WeChat info. Since you shared multiple classes together in the last two years, he could have easily found you through one of the group chats. And it didn't matter anyways.
chenle: let's send it to each other
you: didn't miss xu told us to meet up to discuss it?
chenle: does it look like i care? or do you want to cry in front of me?
You pressed your lips in a thin line at Chenle's obvious attempt at riling you up and you hated how easily he managed to do it despite you being aware of his antics.
you: fine. [Zhong Chenle Analysis.pdf sent]
chenle: [miss_perfectionist.pdf sent]
You rolled your eyes already seeing the title of the document before you opened it and met curt sentences about yourself. You braced yourself for all the offenses in the world because you knew Chenle's words could cut deep like a knife if he wanted to be harsh and then you started reading.
Miss Perfectionist as it says is someone who hates when things are not perfect or not going perfectly how she wishes. She hates being told that she's not right. She hates being in second place. Therefore, she hates me as I stand in the way of her perfect plans.
She's a hard worker but she blames the circumstances when things go wrong. She's petty and holds grudges for long and over small things, too. She's childish with her retorts and annoying when she acts all self-righteous. She's sensitive and insecure...
You stopped reading. Okay, what else did you expect from him of all people?
chenle: why am i not surprised that you think i'm a heartless snob? Chenle's text came but you couldn't tell if he found the situation humorous in an ironic way or if he was just as bitter as you. Not that you cared too much as you typed out your reply:
you: oh because you know sensitive and insecure little old me so well apparently
chenle: you aren't exactly disproving my points with your behavior now
You clicked your tongue during a grimace. As if you had anything to prove, you didn't owe him explanations just because of this assignment.
you: aren't i? or are you just used to things always going your way?
chenle: you really think i have everything, huh?
you: well, prove me wrong
chenle: challenge accepted,
He replied right away but you left him on read.
What else could you have said? Not to mention this discussion was not at all helpful, as both of you seemed unapologetic about your behaviors, there was no way your perceptions would change, not enough to write another few hundreds words on the topic. You groaned into your pillow in annoyance and stood up to get yourself ice cream to fight both the heat and the fight-or-flight reflex you had whenever the boy danced on your nerves. But your phone buzzed again before you could have left your room, so with a sigh you checked the series of texts you have gotten.
chenle: [location shared]
chenle: be there by 6m
chenle: oh and dress pretty
Hah, as if. You snorted and threw your phone onto your bed, heading to the kitchen in your homey shorts and top. You didn’t plan on going out, much less for him.
Zhong Chenle stood in the middle of the garden in his loose Saint Laurent shirt, nursing a glass of champagne and he kept glancing towards the rose-laced entrance. He didn't particularly like to play dress up but he also understood that these kinds of events were important for his parents, so he did his best to doll up in order to repay them for the endless support he had gotten from them over the years. Because unlike many heir kids, he wasn't forced into studying business and following his brother's footstep nor he was expected to show up at blind dates, so he could marry a pretty girl from an equally wealthy family to provide the picture perfect image of their family. He studied business because he didn't know what else to do and because analysis and numbers were something he had always been good at. He planned to work for the company not because it was easy or because he was expected to but because he had seen too much of what happened at conglomerates and he didn't want to accidentally get into a dirty business somewhere else causing trouble for his own family. And the girls he dated, he was actually interested in them, even if briefly. So no, his parents never forced him to do anything and not because he wasn't the first child of the family but because they actually treated him like their son and not just another asset.
And that Chenle had had enough of being treated like early on.
So from time to time, when he showed up at these parties of rich circles, he smiled politely at everyone who commented on how much he had grown even though he hadn't become taller in years or told them about his studies and over-the-top marks on his Gaokao exam even though he was bored with the same old questions. But just because he did so while he was wearing a dress shirt instead of his usual casual tees and styled his hair for once, he wasn't less of himself. Because if Zhong Chenle was a firm believer of something, it was that he wanted to control his own life by his own decisions even if he made stupid mistakes.
"Bored already?" Someone singsonged as he was nudged in the shoulder and turning towards the familiar voice, he faced Yizhuo's blinding smile. She looked like a princess in her silver, flowery dress, perfect for summer and while the boy would have never told her face-to-face (not without exceptional circumstances!), she was the prettiest without any glamour like this, the most vibrant too.
"You have no idea," Chenle sighed with a little dramatic grimace in the corner of his mouth which earned an amused chuckle from the girl who he swore must have lived to have fun at his struggling. Because unlike him, Yizhuo actually liked socializing at events like this. She liked flirting with boys who could never get her and she liked engaging in the latest celebrity gossip with the other girls. Whenever the boy called her out on being a bit too much at these events, she just shrugged and told him that it was just playing a role and she was doing a better job at it than him with his resting bitch face as she liked to point out.
"Entertain me then. How much?" she asked, stealing his glass and sipping on the sweet champagne.
There was a pause. Chenle wondered if he should have told her about the most recent mistake he made or if he should have let her figure it out. Maybe he could keep it (his momentary weakness) as his dirty little secret, maybe he should have...
"I invited Miss Perfectionist to the party," he blurted out anyways, without thinking because he needed someone else to tell him what he had already known: that it was stupid.
"You did what? For real?" Yizhuo's eyes widened in surprise and she immediately turned her head to look around in the tender green garden among blooming petunias and guests in fancy clothes. "Is she here? You have to introduce us!"
"I dunno, I don't think so and I don't think she will come at all," the boy shrugged knowing it all too well that it was just an impulse decision to text you that. He'd just had enough of you acting like you knew better when you didn't know him at all.
Chenle told himself he didn’t really care if you were coming or not. If you liked your delusions so much, who was he to break down reality for you? If you wanted to paint him like a villain, he could easily become one. Just for you.
You two had been dancing around each other for a year and half, making assumptions, competing even when it wasn't a competition. He didn't know your reasons but at first he found your behaviour amusing. Lately, he had rather started finding it a little annoying, so when you poked, he made sure to poke back.
"Too bad. I would like to get to know the girl who manages to get these reactions out of you," Yizhuo hummed behind the edge of the glass and clicked her tongue at Chenle's eye roll. "For real! Do you even notice how much you talk about her? She almost had me at the Economics test today! She has this weird habit of twirling her hair while thinking, like who does that?"
"I don't even sound like that!" The boy protested and not having a better comeback (an extremely rare occasion because Zhong Chenle's wits always had a suitable retort!), he plucked the now almost empty glass out of his friend's hands. "And get your own champagne."
Yizhuo's content smile was beautifully threatening as she tilted her head.
"And you, get your girl," she nodded towards the entrance of the garden. Chenle faked nonchalance as he slowly turned around and he swore under his nose when he saw you. He should have known better than to show your profile picture to someone like Ning Yizhuo. Of course, she would use it against him. Because now he had no excuse to not walk up to you. He had invited you after all. Shit.
You had no idea what you were doing at a place like this.
After Chenle texted you about the location and time, you tried not to think about it but then ended up searching on Weibo if it was the kind of event you should have known of and when you got to know that it was a charity 'picnic' to help underprivileged families provide better education for their kids, you couldn't not attend with your curiosity leading you. That and because both Yiren and Shuhua would have been so disappointed if you just ignored an invitation like this. And while you didn't wish to entertain Chenle's bossiness or society's conventions against women by following his almost orders, you did dress up 'pretty' or at least a bit more elegantly than you did for classes or your part-time jobs. You weren't sure exactly how fancy this event would be but you didn't want to stick out like a sore thumb. Mixing with the crowd was the best way to not get noticed and that was what you were aiming for as you walked up to the entrance of the gorgeous garden full of flowers and waiters running around among the guests. It looked nice but you weren't exactly sure how much of it was for actual charity and how much for the show. What did people do at such places anyway?
"Can I help you, Miss?" A man dressed in all black with a stern face walked up to you and you gulped anxiously. Were you supposed to have an invitation? Should you have been on a list of special people only to be there? Was Zhong Chenle pulling a major prank on you just to prove that he was indeed a jerk? Was he–
"She's with me," an annoyingly familiar voice spoke up by your side and you bit into your lower lip, stopping your thoughts from going haywire. Okay, so maybe he wasn't trying to humiliate you in front of a bunch of rich people, at least not like this, you noted as the bodyguard walked off and you turned to the boy. Oh, he looked differently from how he usually did as well, now he was more... tidied up? No messy locks, no shirt sleeves rolled up or buttons left unbuttoned. He looked more mature and unapproachable as he usually did.
"Am I your plus one now?" You asked him instead of thanking him for the intervention. You didn't like the idea of belonging to anyone but yourself but luckily Chenle didn't think you owed him anything for such a thing just because he invited you and you decided to come.
"No," he rolled his eyes with a snort as if the idea itself was ridiculous. Then he glanced away and shrugged. "You just looked a little lost there."
"What a gentleman," you remarked, tone full of irony but only because you didn't know what else you could have said. It was actually kind of him but at the same time you wouldn’t have been in this situation if he hadn’t invited you.
"Don't push it," he said it as a warning and you didn't keep questioning his mannerism. Instead you let him lead you farther from the rose-adorned entrance and get you both a glass of alcohol each as he briefly explained what kind of event this was. He didn't need to point out that his family was one of the regular donors and he was there to represent the Zhongs, your deduction skills were good enough to put two and two together.
"Shouldn't you be busy mingling with your rich friends then, instead of me?" you asked and if you wanted to be really honest, it was coming from your sense of inferiority rather than because you'd had enough of his company. You didn't think you were less than his 'rich friends' but you did envy them because unlike you, they looked like they fit into a crowd like this. Like that pretty girl in a frothy dress talking with two tall, lanky boys a bit older than all three of you not too far from you. She looked like she was born to be the star at events like this while you felt like an ugly duckling in your own dress and home-made makeup and hair.
Your concerns and feelings weren't invalid even if Chenle scoffed nor just because you were glad he did. So he didn't care what others might have thought of him because he was being seen with you? It was a relief you didn't know you needed to bear.
"If you really think that I would do that, why did you come at all?" The boy questioned, pointedly, and he had every right to be confused. You weren't sure why you really came: was it the charity, was it the possibility of your friends' nagging or was it because you were curious whether he could prove you wrong? You had no idea, so no, you weren't going to tell him that.
"Why did you invite me?" You threw back the ball to his court.
"Touché," Chenle grimaced but there was something akin to amusement in the corner of his mouth. He took a sip from his drink before adding: "I don't keep company to show off, so I don't care about them being rich or whatever, just that they're being real about themselves."
At first you didn't understand what he meant by it but within the next hour your duo was approached by multiple people, all of them asking about his father's business and asking for favours without actually asking. Barely any of them acknowledged your presence as if you were a pretty accessory even if Chenle made sure to introduce you to the other guests and vica versa. You appreciated the sentiment because this way you didn't feel so lost even if you weren't particularly fond of the conversations themselves. Chenle didn't seem to like them either.
"... and she's a classmate from business school," he told about you to a nice-looking lady in her fifties when she asked Chenle how he was doing after noting that it had been quite some time since they had last talked and that it was such a pity that him and her youngest daughter had broken up. Oh, you never imagined him dating before but it made sense to the picture you had of him in your head that he would date a girl in these circles.
"That's fantastic. What are your parents doing for a living?" The lady turned to you, probably expecting that you were the daughter of some big shot businessman to attend a prestigious university like that. These people kept forgetting that scholarship opportunities existed for a reason and not only the rich could get higher education anymore. It baffled you for a bit and Chenle must have sensed your hesitance, so he decided to intervene to lessen the tension.
"Mrs. Lu, I don't think–"
"It's okay," you interrupted him because even if you appreciated the gesture, you were no damsel in distress. And most importantly you weren't ashamed of who you were. "My mother is an employee at a garment company and my father hasn't been around since I was young."
"Oh dear, that must be tough," the lady's face turned sour as if she bit into a lemon and pity was so obvious from her sweetened words that you could practically taste it.
It was that moment again, you thought: it was Jiayun and kindergarten all over again, just unlike kids, this woman didn't point out as straightforwardly that you didn't belong among them, that Chenle shouldn't have mingled with your kind. She just looked at you with those eyes, unsure how to keep the conversation up as if she lost any interest in you just because of your family background. She most probably did. But before you could have thrown hands (or anything) like you did when you had been 4 years old, the boy beside you spoke up:
"I know, right? But she even got into the university without having to bribe anyone!" He threw the random information out there casually and the lady's expression told you the untold side of the story: her family probably needed to pay extra to get their kid(s) into Shanghai Business School. You could have felt wronged because you didn't need to be defended but you knew that Chenle didn't do it for your sake only. He didn't treat you like a damsel in distress, he just wanted to call this woman out on her bullshit for his own entertainment, so you could barely suppress your amused smile when the lady excused herself and you exchanged a knowing glance with the boy.
You two weren't alone for long and you met so many people that you couldn't even remember half of their names. But there were so many fake people, so many shallow conversations, you started to understand what the boy meant by being real was what he mostly cared about. It was a rare thing to find that in these people or at least in this situation where everyone seemed to be counting debts and favours.
"Is it always like this?" you wondered aloud, stealing a glance at the boy beside you.
"Yeah, pretty much."
You hummed, wondering if you could do it in the long term.
"How do you do it?"
"I guess... you just get used to it after a while," he shrugged before flashing you a wide grin. "But at least there's free food."
You cracked up at that. It must have been true that no matter how wealthy one was, free food always tasted the best. Even if the food served at this event was too fancy for you to cease your hunger.
At one point, you had separated from Chenle and had an interesting talk about the education system with someone from the government. While you were away, the boy had found himself company in the person of the pretty, giddy girl you had seen before who waved in your direction with a bright smile.
"Is she your girlfriend?" you mouthed at Chenle quietly while the girl was busy with calling others to the table. The guy followed your gaze and laughed, loud and hard; he shook his head.
"Gosh, no. Come on, I'll introduce you to her, just promise me you won't believe anything she says or I'll regret this," he said and it had you raising eyebrows curiously right away. Oh, so she was that kind of acquaintance who had the most juicy stories. Good to know.
"Why? Does she have more embarrassing stories about you than me seeing you eating sand and snails in the sandpit of kindergarten?" you teased, this time genuinely and well-meaningly only for the sake of entertainment and not to offend. Nor did Chenle when he rolled his eyes.
"I take it back, you're worse," he sighed but you saw the smile in the corner of his mouth.
You spent the rest of the night laughing along with Yizhuo, Minghao and Junhui at some stories about Chenle who wasn't shy to get back at them. It was fun and it had nothing to do with who had how much money, so maybe you were wrong, maybe not everything was about that. Maybe Chenle could exist as an individual entity with his friends regardless of his financial background and he never implied you were less than then, he never pointed out your scholarship or part-time jobs, never made fun of your family issues in front of his usual circle. Whenever he wanted to poke you, he only called you out on your meticulous to-do lists, your nagging personality and tendency to disagree with him.
"Thanks," you blurted out once you were outside of the garden, hovering before leaving for the bus stop.
"For what? For opening a door for you?" Chenle blinked, trying to hide his genuine surprise with a joke. You couldn't blame him, it was most probably the first time you thanked him for anything since before your pride was always getting in the way.
"For not treating me differently," you admitted because it meant a lot to you. Your whole life you had been the one to stand out for the wrong reason. You could attend prestigious school because of your mother's job but you had always been the poor one who didn't share others' interests or lifestyle. You had been treated like dirt, like a pushover but if anything, Chenle had been treating you like an equal, worthy of competing with.
"Whatever," he shrugged, clearly not seeing why this was a big thing for you or he just didn't want to prolong this strangely sensitive moment of yours, so he quickly changed the topic. "I'll take you home,"
"You drank," you pointed out even though you knew he didn't drink much, just for the sake of it to have the last word, as if it was something to win. But this time you didn't take it bloodily seriously and found it amusing when Chenle rolled his eyes.
"Okay, let me rephrase that: let me call my family's driver to take you home before he takes me home," he offered once again, determined as always. It was tempting, the comfort of it, so you made a pondering noise. But the thing was, you didn't like to owe anyone and you weren't sure you were close enough friends to accept favours without returning them, so you didn't want to agree to that. Instead, you made it into a challenge:
"How do you feel about taking the bus?" you raised an eyebrow, teasing him about rich boy privileges with personal drivers and at the end of it somehow you managed to get The Zhong Chenle onto a public bus with you which was half full of not so decent, drunk people whom the boy openly judged with his stare. You will never forget this day.
In Chenle's humble opinion Miss Xu was a bit too happy about the progress of his and your team work after her unconventional task (which she never failed to bring up as a casual conversation starter like: what new did you learn about each other since last time?). Once you confessed that he wasn't as arrogant as you thought nor you were as rigid as he thought, he admitted, preparing for the case study competition seemed like a child's play for the two of you. The two of you challenged each other, could put together a nice list of arguments easily and researched more efficiently together. You stopped treating each other like rivals when you could just work together, so you started having coffee shop and library meetings to work on your homework from Miss Xu but you usually spent half the time with watching puppy videos on Chenle's phone, talking about your friends, the video games he would so beat you in and what you wanted to do after university. Yizhuo liked to remind him that it sounded like you started being friends, which he usually didn't comment on. He couldn't really deny it anyways after he invited you over for a hotpot.
It was a small get-together with a few of his close friends: Yizhuo, Renjun and you. A night with the familiar whine of Renjun's about his movie choice, Yizhuo's laughter at his suffering and you helping him out in the kitchen. You offered your help and while Chenle didn't exactly need it, he let you join him in his very professional kitchen because he had a feeling you just needed an excuse to not be stuck with Yizhuo and Renjun alone. The fact that you were more comfortable around him than around his friends stirred something in the boy's chest but he decided not to acknowledge it for the sake of his sanity.
"You are pretty good at this," you remarked suddenly, in the middle of washing some bok choy.
"At what? I'm pretty good at a lot of things," Chenle boasted with a smirk because he knew an answer like this would annoy you and he indeed laughed at your resigned sigh. He had always found it amusing when you were irritated over small things like this.
"At cooking, I mean," you pointed out the obvious, staring at the nicely cut onion pieces in front of him. It was easy to tell that it was a practiced skill which you couldn't master with years of cooking because your diced onions always looked like chunks.
"Of course, I am. I have lived alone since I was 18 and I don't have a personal chef nor can I live only on delivery food, so I learned it," he shrugged as if it was natural. You didn't think it was. You knew a lot of college students who ate out, had their food delivered or packed lunch boxes from home and they weren't as well off as Chenle. He didn't have to learn cooking but did it anyway and you appreciated it. Plus, guys who could cook were hot… Wait, what?! Forget that.
"Still, it's impressive. Take the compliment like a normal person would," you told him and even though he just laughed, you could see pride swelling in his chest. Maybe a bit of ego boost couldn't hurt from time to time.
Leaning against the kitchen counter, watching him prepare the spicy soup, you couldn't help but wonder though as you imagined him usually cooking for one person only: himself. You were too used to cooking for two with your mom, so you imagine it a bit… lonesome.
"Doesn't it get lonely? Living alone?"
Chenle looked up from the stove with a bit of amused surprise in his usually mischievous or stern brown eyes. He croaked an eyebrow and tilted his head to get a better look at you.
"Hah, you are probably the only one whose first reaction is this instead of claiming how cool it must be to have my own place so young," he said and you weren't too surprised to hear that. Sure, a part of you understood the envy of being independent and being well-off enough to be able to do so but at the same time, living alone required a lot more effort than living at home with all things included. It was a two-sided coin like everything, now you knew better than to judge too fast.
"When it does get lonely, I go and bother someone. Don't worry about me, it's not a good look on you," he added with a teasing edge to his sharp words and with a gentle flick of his fingers against your temple before turning back to the soup with an evident grin on his face. "Go, put the ingredients onto small plates instead!"
You stalled for a moment too long because looking at his smile – that you once thought annoying –, you realized that worry might not be a good look on you but happiness definitely suited him. Here, at his home, he was comfortable, unguarded and happy; and it was nice to see this side of Zhong Chenle, you decided.
"Yes, sir~" you saluted jokingly to keep the atmosphere light and playful instead of the corny and sentimental feelings that were budding inside of you. You took care of the ingredients and with the help of others, who were more familiar at Chenle's place, you set the table right before the chef of the day finished the base soup for the hotpot, ready to put it on the table to keep simmering it over the mini stove.
During dinner you argued about what to put into the hot pot, in what order and for how long, just usual hot pot debates. You laughed a lot and had so much fun that you didn't even mind losing the game of paper, rock, scissors that determined that you would do the dishes. Yizhuo even joined you willingly to dry the plates while the boys set the movie up afterwards on the 4K smart TV in the living room. You weren't sure you wanted to know what exactly went down there but you heard Renjun scream a swear word and Chenle laugh.
"You and Chenle got really close lately, hm?" Yizhuo nudged you on the arm with news-hungry sparkling eyes but... there was no news. It had been a few weeks since you had started spending more time together outside of the schoolroom environment, he had even managed to get you to play PUBG with him and now you were at his but would this be enough for 'really close'?
"I wouldn't call it 'really close' but we are on good terms now, I guess," you shrugged, trying to play it cool. You didn't want the girl to get any other ideas (But based on what? What were you afraid of if there was no reason for her to do so?)
"I mean, I know he isn't that heart-to-heart talk kind of guy. He's more like the kid on the playground who pulls on your pigtails to get your attention," Yizhuo chuckled to herself at the metaphor before leaning against the counter. You could feel her eyes on you but you focused on the pan in the sink instead. "You know he has a hard time letting new people get close to him. You probably noticed but he doesn't care about money, he basically throws it on anyone close to him whom he cares about but when people befriend or date him solely for that, well, that understandably leaves a scar. Even if he doesn't show. He might like to seem invincible but he is just human too."
Based on his experience with fake people at those parties and how important it was for him for others to be themselves you could understand where this came from, you just weren’t sure why Yizhuo was telling you all this.
“Is this a friendly warning to get out of his life if I’m one of those people?” you turned towards her, asking directly because you knew her as a straightforward person, not someone who would honey their opinion about such matters. She seemed like a good, loyal friend, like the type who would pour bleach into the shampoo of girls who broke her best friend's heart.
“Oh, please, we both know you aren’t. Chenle couldn’t shut up about how much you despised him before that party,” she said, crackling, obviously finding it funny. “It might just help you understand why he is like this.”
Like this meant being clingy during movie nights, it meant being whiny when he didn't get enough attention or being the shield between you and the tv screen after he teased the hell out of you for being scared while laughing loudly. But it also meant being caring when he brought your favourite latte from your usual coffee shop as a good luck token for the case competition, being protective when one of the other guys at the scene acted a bit out of line or calling you cute whenever you frowned at something he said. Being friends with Chenle was like him paying for all the fancy cocktails as a celebration after the successful end of the competition and then whining about how you should buy him French fries at McDonalds at 2AM. But being friends with Chenle was also damned butterflies in your stomach when he passed out over your shoulder on a bus loveseat. Fuck.
For someone as direct and unapologetic as Chenle, he was sure hard to read. But knowing how much he hated people who pretended and faked themselves around him, you knew you had to tell him about your realization before you started acting weird. He would have probably just taken it as an ego boost and would have teased you good-heartedly about how you couldn't resist his charms after all before rejecting you kindly. You could take that rejection, you could stay friends once it was out there and you could move on, you told yourself. You were sure Chenle wouldn't have made it weird by acting differently around you just because of your newfound or at least newly realized feelings, he must have had loads of admirers back in high school who brought him sweets on May 20th as a symbol of their crush, so he must have been used to this. Still, you wanted to give him and yourself space, so you could have an excuse to leave without feeling too awkward about it. That's why it was just you two on a 'study date' at a campus café now that the new semester had started.
Chenle tried to get the Stats homework right while slurping on his Americano loudly (gosh, it used to annoy you so much, now you found even this cute, what was wrong with you?) when you blurted out a question that had been bugging you ever since you met at Economics 101.
"You really don't remember me from kindergarten, do you?"
Chenle looked up from his notebook full of his chicken scratch with a questioning expression on his face as if asking 'seriously?' and he had every right to be confused about the reason behind your sudden question. But you didn't back down as you held his gaze.
"I have a shitty memory," he said eventually but it sounded like he weighed his options about what to say. But one thing was sure, he was genuine when he said he didn't remember and it wasn't something you could have held against him a decade later.
"Nah, actually I think it’s normal. It was just me being hyper fixated on you. Don't be cocky! I mean it,” you rolled your eyes when you saw him starting to smirk. You were trying to be serious, come on. “I don't remember most of the other kids either. But I remember you because I hated you."
Hate might have been a strong word for a child though but you sure blamed a lot on Chenle just because you could and your brain justified it even so many years later until you realize how silly it was.
"I had a guess," the boy laughed, clearly finding your enlightenment amusing and probably not understanding what you were trying to say with it.
"No, listen to me. I hated you like a kid hates the world just because she couldn't get her favorite candy. It was unreasonable and unfair to you, I blamed you for everything even though you just caused the ripple in the calm water. You weren't even the one who made me feel shitty about being poor. So I guess I still had this kind of mindset when we met again and it pissed me off even more that you didn't remember, which is once again ridiculous," you told him outright even though you hated admitting that you were wrong and based on his very first written analysis on you, you knew that Chenle knew it as well. Now all his attention was on you and you suddenly felt bashful under his sharp gaze but didn't stop. "And then I hated you even more because it wasn't as easy to hate you as it was in kindergarten."
"So you are saying that you don't actually hate me?" Chenle asked as if he was taking a guess, uncertain, which was so unlike him and maybe he had just as much of a hard time reading you as you had, so you spelled it out for him:
"I'm saying that I think I like you." A beat of pause, a beat of silence then a rushed addition in the usual cacophony of the coffee shop: "And I know it's stupid, we are so not compatible, we're barely frien–"
"Hah," the boy noted quietly, simply to interrupt you and his reaction made you stop on your track. That was it? You looked at him, bewildered.
"What?"
"You beat me to it," Chenle put a hand over his chest, dramatic, as if you scored best on a test instead of him. What a ridiculous reaction.
"It's not a competition," you reminded him, scolding instead of feeling victorious for being faster than him at something.
"Oh, everything is, sweetheart," he smiled at you devilishly and ruffled your hair playfully as if you didn't spend twenty minutes just to make sure it looked nice for once.
You just stared at him, stunned for a moment, before you let his earlier words process and your eyes widened.
“Wait, so… do you like me, too?”
“Whatever, don’t act too surprised. It’s not like I planned these disgustingly cheesy feelings,” he shrugged, looking back down on his Stats textbook before he looked back up with a shiteating grin on his face. "You know, it was a very weak confession though. I'm feeling generous, so I'm giving you a 5 out of 10. You can do better."
"Do better?!" you echoed in disbelief but barely able to stop smiling so hard that it hurt your cheeks. "What about you trying to do it better if you are so smug about it?"
"Oh, it will be a marvelous confession, you will be swept off your feet, you can be sure. Just wait for it," Chenle teased and the promise of it made you all giddy inside. You could barely concentrate on the numbers and calculations for the rest of your time in the store. Chenle with his bright smile, his funny laughter and feet nudging yours under the table was too distractive. Gosh, he was so annoying (fond).
Do you have that, too, when there's a new song that you found bad and annoying at first but the more it keeps popping up, you stop skipping it and after a while you end up just vibing to it in the kitchen? Well, falling in love with Chenle was like that: no smooth sailing on calm waters, no mutual attraction at first glance, but a slow, gradual process. Your feelings hadn't changed overnight, your perception of them did. Chenle had grown onto you over the summer or maybe even earlier but you wouldn't have changed it for the world. Because if he was a song, he would be your new favourite that you wished to listen to on repeat.
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