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megamattzx · 1 year

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Inspired by "Are You With Me? " By Gosha. There's also some inspiration from the "Wishes Are Eternal" and "she saw everything" comics based on the Sonic series (Sonic Adventures 2 and Sonic Heroes to be exact) by ehuante on DeviantArt.

ehuante: https://www.deviantart.com/ehuante

Gosha:

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gosha/pseuds/Gosha

Twitter

Gosha™ (@Gosha_Chan) / Twitter

Also go read her Story, Are You With Me: https://archiveofourown.org/works/39842712/chapters/99754617

This has no tie to the actual story of Are You With Me itself but rather may reference the story due to it being inspired by it. However, if Gosha does wish to use this she is more than welcome to, as it is inspired by her story.

A Saiyan Raised on Earth's Regrets:

It had been several months since Goku and Chi-Chi had their separation, and only a couple months after Broly came to Earth. Several hundred Frieza Force battleships decided to invade Earth without Frieza's knowledge. However, Goku had disappeared for some time before he noticed they came back. Assisting Broly Gohan, Piccolo and Vegeta, Goku had been able to make sure the Frieza soldiers were all dealt with.

However the final battle conspired in space and it was between the Frieza Force members and the Father and Son Duo. The numbers were more than enough to cause Goku and Gohan to go all out for the entire duration of the fight. Tons of energy blasts and constant flying at intense speeds, and trying to clear the battle as fast as possible, in order to prevent any of the Frieza soldiers from landing on Earth.

Eventually the battle was over. Both the pureblooded Saiyan, that was raised on Earth and his hybrid son were looking at the void of space and the Earth. A beautiful view as they were close to the atmosphere again. Gohan was in disbelief that their various methods of energy usage worked but Goku had become more reckless ever since his separation from Chi-Chi. In fact, he actually hadn't slept in days. Weeks even. He was focusing too much on his mistakes that drove her away and now he felt that he deserved every bit of suffering that he was now going through every bit of pain and guilt rolling up inside. And the truth is he was only bottling it up more and more.

He wanted so badly to tell her how sorry he was for all of the mistakes he had made. To tell her how he truly felt about her but he knew he couldn't. She would only reject him again but she did the last several hundred times over the past few months. Ever since she first kicked him out. Everything that had happened within that span up until now, the divorce papers that he wasn't even sure were still up for debate, the scare of people jumping her, and him actually looking for the attackers to try to keep her safe, the time she constantly rejected him and pushed him away. It was like every time he tried to get her back or tried to make things right, he was kicked back down and now he was at a point where he just couldn't take it anymore.

He said he was done fighting, and yet here he was constantly trying to fight, for her. To make sure she was happy, that she was safe. Because why wouldn't he? How can you look at the one you love and choose to walk away. You never give up on them. Even if the road was hard even if it seemed impossible. Chi-Chi told him that but her rejection was killing him slowly on the inside.

And no matter how many times he tried so hard to let her go, he just couldn't. His heart would never stop aching for her even though he was tired of it. He was tired of his heart aching for her. He lived for her love and her affection. Her rejection the entire time was constantly killing him he couldn't take it anymore. Perhaps the world would be better off without him. Perhaps everyone including her would be much happier without him around. Maybe.....

Before he could continue his thought, Gohan then began to speak. "Phew..." he started with a deep breath. "I can't believe that strategy actually worked, Dad."

Goku could hear the disbelief and his son's voice still. Though he would never admit it out loud, he himself wasn't so sure it was going to work either. Especially in the condition he was actually truly in which he was surprisingly good at hiding, with both of them reverting back from Super Saiyan into their base form. "Of course it did, Gohan," The Earth Saiyan told his son. Disbelief was hurting his voice for the fact that Gohan even doubted him in the first place. "Why wouldn't it work? Did ya really doubt me, Kiddo?" Only Goku noticed right away, but he also knew it was only a matter of time before Gohan also noticed. He felt his breathing becoming heavier causing him to place his hand his chest where his heart was. It was clearly from exhaustion caused by a multitude of things with the fight only being one of them. The fatigue was finally starting to take a toll, which Goku was surprised it hadn't already.

Gohan was shocked by his father's remark, but then he remembered this was his father they were talking about. Taking a deep breath, he then spoke again with a little bit of relief. "Well it's the fact that we haven't had any major threats for a while and you didn't look like you were fighting in per-" It was at that moment the eldest son of Goku and Chi-Chi noticed his father breathing heavier than he was only a minute ago. "Dad!? Are you sure you're okay!?"

Before Gohan could even say anything else, Goku quickly shouted, "Yes!" He then began to speak more calmly now, and he knew his son was seeing the tired looking eyes I could hear the tiring tone in his voice. "I'm okay..... Really... I am... I'm just.... Tired is all..... So..... Damn..... Tired...."

The way Goku was speaking was causing a lot of concern for Gohan. Trying to play it cool, Gohan carefully observed his father for a little bit before taking one good look at the Earth again. So beautiful and peaceful in space. "Yeah..." The hybrid hesitantly said. The concern evidently there. "Fair enough, I'm kinda exhausted myself. We really did use a lot of our energy against all those guys. Despite us being strong enough to take them all down, their numbers were really more than enough to wear us out. I'm surprised we're still in Super Saiyan at the moment. We should probably head back home and let everyone including mom know that we're-." He stopped dead in his tracks with what he was about to say when he saw his father slowly falling back into the Earth's atmosphere. "Dad...?" At that moment, he slowly realized what was going on. "DAD!!!!"

The son of Goku quickly chased after his father who was slowly increasing in speed as he fell towards the Earth. And as soon as Gohan was able to reach him, he then grabbed his father by the right arm. "Gotcha!" He shouted as he couldn't begin to imagine what his father could be thinking right now. "Dad! Please! Say something!"

What Goku said next broke his son's heart and she actually saw what he never saw his father do. Tell him something that Gohan would never have wanted him to say. "Let me go... " Goku said which caused Gohan to snap but not out of anger but with tears in his eyes.

"Are you insane!?" Gohan told his father frantically. The pain in his voice could be heard. "No fucking way, Dad! You are in no condition to fly! You wouldn't even be able to call the nimbus due to exhaustion! If I drop you, that's the end!"

"You don't know that...." Goku said blankly as if there was a bit of emptiness in his voice. It seems that all of the bottled up depression, pain and self hatred that he had developed that he just bottled up was now slowly coming to light for everyone to see.

"Well I know what I'm about to lose my father again!" Gohan fired back. His voice is sharp and stern. The tone filled with fiery passion behind it as if he was desperately trying to reach out to his father. To help him.

Goku didn't care about any of it and he couldn't clearly begin to fathom why anyone could try to want him to still be around. What he says next is evident. "Let me go..... Right now..." He said coldly. It was as if there was a void in his heart that was slowly eating away at him on the inside. "Gohan... Please don't make me do this...."

"Hell no!" Gohan then fired back. His refusal to let his father do this to himself made it evident that Gohan okay would have to do something drastic. "I'm not losing you again!"

"Yes.... You are...." Goku painfully said.

Gohan stared at his father in disbelief and pain as the tears continued to fall down his face. "Dad....."

The tears finally fell down his face and Gohan could clearly see that his father was in immense emotional and mental pain. Goku always said Chi-Chi was the strongest. And he meant it. Everyone thought he was joking but he actually meant it. No one had any idea not even Chi-Chi, about how much power she had over him. She was the world, she was everything. He could never beat her or truly ever say no. No matter how many times he tried to fight he knew he would ultimately cave in. He could never deny her. And now he feels that he never deserved her in the first place. What even made her love him?

Snapping back to out of his thoughts about her, he then looked at his son, the pain in his eyes and in his voice were seen and heard. "Ya need to stop and think.... about the right choice...." He told Gohan. It was clear that he didn't want to keep bringing pain to his family they wanted to end his own pain and pretty much relieve them of it. Believing that he was the reason why they're in pain. Simply because he was there. "What is more important, kiddo? The life of a Saiyan that was raised on Earth who failed his purpose and let everyone he knew and loved down, and ruined his life to the point of no return? That only screws everything up?" He looks down onto the Earth admiring his beauty for what he believed to be the last time as the tears continue to fall down before he continues. "Or the billions of people down there.... Including you, Goten and yer mom, who still have a chance to be happy..."

"DON'T SAY THAT!!!!" Gohan shouts at the top of his lungs. The desperation is now evident in his voice. "Every life is important! Including yours! You and Mom taught me that!" Goku looked at his son as Gohan continued to desperately plead Goku not to throw his life away. "I'm not about to allow you to throw your life away! And if you think I'd make the same mistake of letting you die because-!" Before Gohan could even finish, Goku quickly grabbed Gohan's arms to try to break free of his hold. He was also trying to give him his energy as well so that Gohan would get home safely. Gohan was not willing to oblige. "DAD!!! STOP!!!! PLEASE!!!!"

Goku didn't even let Gohan fight him on this as he started transferring what was left of all of his energy to his son. "just take my remaining energy..... And get back to the others.... Take care of your family.... Take care of your mom and your brother for me.... Tell your brother that I'm proud of both of you... and that... I always will be.... Tell the others I love them too... Most importantly.... Tell your mother.... That I love her.... And that..... I'm sorry..... For everything......."

Those words became the ultimate stake stabbed right through Gohan's heart as he slowly but surely started to let go of his father, without even realizing it. "Dad....." It was at that moment he saw his father smile. A pained smile. A smile that couldn't even hide the fact that he was in so much pain.

"I'm proud of you, Gohan..... And I always will be....." Goku finally said before he transferred what was left of his energy. And slowly began to fall when Gohan realized that he had accidentally let his father go.

Rushing towards his father to try to save him, the hybrid then began to scream out towards him. A scream that all of the earth could even hear. "DAAAAAAD!!!!!!!!!"

Goku couldn't help but begin to close his tired eyes and he continued to have that smile. He couldn't help but think to himself then maybe now this was for the best. The flames, slowly surrounded him as this happened. 'Chi-Chi...' he internally taught himself. Knowing she would never hear his words ever again, or so he thought. '...as long as you're happy..... And safe.... Even if it's without me in your life..... I'll be more than happy to die knowing that.... I'm sorry for everything I've done that hurt you.......... I love you..... And I always will......'

And with that he fully closed his eyes and started to let himself go. The last thing he remembered was falling deep into the water of the ocean.

A few moments later Goku was slowly opening his eyes seemingly in a strange and distorted world that he had no recollection of. He felt that he was laying on top of flowers of some kind as he slowly began to sit up, groaning a little bit as he did so. "mmHg... Oh.... My head...." He heard himself say, placing his hand on his head. "What happened...? Where..... Am I...?"

He then took a minute to look around his surroundings. The world he was seemingly in. It was mostly quiet. It was lonely. So damn lonely. It was dim and only a few spots where there was light. This wasn't anything like the other world so he knew he wasn't dead. At least not yet. It was confusing. Was he dreaming? Was he in the brink between life and death? Was this his own personal Hell? Sometimes he felt he deserved to be there for all the pain he had caused.

He found himself laying on top of the flower bed and then you noticed the familiar woman. Her Raven dark hair all the way down, she wore the yellow dress with the sleeves. Was that Chi-Chi? No. It couldn't be. She made it clear that she wanted nothing to do with him anymore, right? This had to be a dream. It had to be. "Chi-Chi...?"

"So....." Chi-Chi's look alike said in a seemingly somber tone. "You ended up in this lonely place again....."

Again? Goku was confused. But then it was at this moment then when he looked at the woman, she didn't just look like Chi-Chi. She WAS Chi-Chi. It was at that moment he realized he was dreaming. He remembered that ever since they separated all he did was dream about her. He dreamt about being with her again being able to touch her again. To feel her arms around him and having his arms wrapped around her. To kiss her with all the love and passion that he had for her. To tell her how he felt how sorry he was about all of his mistakes. Every single fucking one.

"Where are we?" Goku asked. There was clear confusion in his voice as he said this. "What's going on?"

"It's as you're thinking right now," Chi-Chi told him. "As You Are in the brink between life and death, I manifest through your dreams....." So he was dreaming. He has always been so aware of it. The dream version of Chi-Chi then began to speak again. "Which begs the question, what are you doing here? Or rather.... What's the last thing you remember?"

Goku took a deep breath as he felt a large amount of thought swelling in his mind. The most recent memory is hazy but there are bits and pieces that he was remembering quite vividly. "I.... I was.... Falling.... Falling back to Earth from space..... Someone was trying to catch me...." The echoes of Gohan calling out to him in a desperate scream to save him. ".....Gohan......" Tears started to form from remembering. "I was thinking about you as I fell into the ocean...... Why is everything else so hazy?"

The dream version of Chi-Chi then looked at Goku. There was a bit of pain in her eyes as she looked at him. He knew it was because of him that she had that sad look. It was almost as if she was on the verge of tears. "Goku.... Unlike the real me, I saw everything you've been going through ever since you and I separated in the real world...... I saw how much more reckless you became without me..... I saw you take a darker turn in your life.... And I'd be lying I said I wasn't hurt and worried about you with this truth, and the real me would have most certainly been destroyed by this. But I also saw the instances that let me know you were still there. You fought against those soldiers of Frieza alongside the others, you pushed through until the bitter end. But there is one thing that breaks my heart about that whole situation."

"What do you mean by that?" Goku asked in genuine confusion. This is probably going to be the only way he could be with the woman he loved again.

"Goku..." The dream Chi-Chi started as she placed her hands cheeks. "Goku I know this is hard.... I know what you've been going through and I'd be lying if I said that I could completely understand just how lost and hurt you are right now.... But you made the right choice...." The dream version of Chi-Chi then took a deep breath before she began to talk again. "But what our son, Gohan, said to you before you fell. About every life being important. And you being no exception, he was right. But now you're here, even though you can't stay for long. Even right now, all of our friends are trying to save you as we speak."

And she was right. In the real world Goku was taken out of the ocean and placed in an island where the other Dragon team members were able to find Gohan and Goku. Gohan tries to do the compressions with his gi to try to get his father's heart to beat again. The Earth Saiyan's body was completely lifeless which confirmed that he was indeed currently on the line between life and death. Goku was so tempted to try to find a way to jump the line between life and death and embrace death. But he couldn't find it. He couldn't find the door.

And he was also processing everything she just said, "Then.... I'm actually...... alive....?"

"My love...." The dream Chi-Chi continued. "You have suffered so much and forced yourself to suffer so much more because of your mistakes. And even though you're trying to make things right by doing what you think is best, I need you to do something. Goku..... You deserve the same happiness as anyone else does..... I know this is going to hurt and that it's going to be difficult. Especially now..... But I want you to live...... I want you to be happy......"

Goku could feel his heart sink as the tears started to fall from his eyes again from the dream of his wife truly telling him what she wanted. What Chi-Chi would have really wanted from him. "I..... I can't Chi-Chi....." Goku told her in his most pained voice possible. "I've only ever truly been happy when I was with you... So please.... Don't leave me alone again.... Even if it's only a dream...."

"Oh Goku....." Chi-Chi in his dream said that she hugged him tightly while she whispered into his ear to reassure him that everything was going to be okay. "Goku... I know it hurts to know that the real me is out of your life because of your mistakes.... But I am just your dream of her...... I'm not real.... Please try to understand that you are never truly alone..... Everyone has come to you even when you try to push them all away....... To see what happened to you..... They wanted to help you..... Our son wanted to save you...... And know that I will always be watching over you, Goku..... And with you in your heart..... I wish I could do more but the least you can do for me is try to understand that...."

"Chi-Chi...." Goku was only able to say.

And Chi-Chi was shocked by this but saw Gohan deliver another chest compression that actually started Goku's heartbeat. It was then she realized that Goku was about to wake up as she predicted. The others were able to save from death. She then continued to speak softly once more. "You'll be waking up soon. So it's almost farewell."

"What!?" Goku said in shock as he then continued to try to figure out what was going on. "What do you mean by "waking up"!? What's happening!?"

"Don't be afraid, Goku...." She then told him. She continued to reassure him that everything was going to be okay. "What will happen next will be as much of a mystery as it is for me. But there that doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing. There's so much I wish I could still tell you, but at least I was able to get the most important stuff that I needed to tell you out."

"Chi-Chi!?" Goku questioned again but then noticed hands were grabbing him and a sudden pain in his chest could be felt from the compression that triggered another heartbeat that guaranteed his heart to function normally again. "WAIT!!!!! PLEASE DON'T DO THIS TO ME!!!!!" He heard himself screaming desperately.

"Life won't always be happy Goku," Chichi assured him. "But I know you'll find a way to be able to walk again and carve the path that you are set out for with all the strength in the world." It was at that moment the dream of Chi-Chi began to tear up and she then started crying softly as she finished everything she was going to say to him before he woke up. "Please.... Goku.... Try to live for me and the real Chi-Chi, okay?"

"What is this!?" Goku couldn't contain his desperation and emotions as he desperately tried to beg this version of Chi-Chi that manifested in his dreams to not leave him like the real one did. He couldn't pair his heart being shattered to pieces a million times again. "PLEASE!!!! DON'T GO!!! DON'T LEAVE ME AGAIN!!!!!" It was at that moment he felt another pain in his chest as he cried out from the pain.

"Sayonara Goku...." The dream told him as all of this was happening as he slowly was being dragged into the abyss that was manifested by him being dragged back into reality. "I love you..... And I always will......"

It was at that point Goku screamed out for his wife's name as he was slowly dragged into the hole that would cause him to wake up from his dream while he was in limbo. "CHI-CHI!!!!!!"

At that moment, Goku began to cough up whatever water managed to enter his body. He could hear everyone's sighs of relief and took deep breaths as he slowly began to open his eyes. He saw all of his friends there, and he even saw Chi-Chi. And the first thing she would have seen was the tears falling from his eyes...

#son goku #goku dragon ball #gohan #gochi #goku x chichi #chichi #goku #hurt/comfort #dreams #near death experience #regrets #inspired by another story

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