#electric butter churn

[milkyday011]

Milky Day offers butter churners both electrical as well as manual types to meet the requirements of our clients. Before installation and use, read the Milky butter churn manual carefully. Low price and a 2-year warranty. For more info, visit www.milkyday.com

#Milky Butter Churn #electric butter churn #hand butter churn

[t4tnalu]

Looking at manual whipped cream makers and got recommended butter churns... I mean yeah I guess...

#i dont wanna churn butter #totally happy with that being mechanized #but electric whip cream makers rely on n2o capsules which seems wasteful #and also i try not to buy things that are electric that could easily be manual #💋

[impala-dreamer]

Captives of The Court - Chapter One

A Supernatural Series

~Strange things are brewing in Connecticut, so Dean and Y/N go check it out. After stumbling through town, they fall into something that’s been going on a very, very long time. Can they put an end to the bloodshed and make it out unscathed or will they need a little help this time?~

Starring Dean Winchester x Y/N Y/L/N

Chapter One Word Count: 529

Series Warnings and Info may be found on the Masterlist Here 

Impala-Dreamer’s Masterlist  ~  Patreon  ~ Published Works

The room was dark but it was easy to see once her eyes adjusted. Tall tapers and fat pillars filled every flat surface, circling the room with a delightful glow, and the flames danced like fireflies in the darkness. They twinkled at random and the illusion was mesmerizing.

There was a sweet scent in the air, something delicious that lingered in her nose, filling her senses with a sensual hunger. There were hints of something rich like warm butter and freshly baking bread. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it but the idea of finding out had lodged itself in her head and forced her to wake. She shook herself and blinked into the dim light, confused but somehow unafraid.

Y/N groaned loudly as the room came into view. Her head was swimming, body tingling with electricity. She tried to move but the carpet around her was so soft, the pile deep and comforting as it cradled her naked flesh.

“W-what’s going on-”

Her question faded into a strangled cry as a wave of pleasure washed up from her cunt. She bit down into her lip and raised her head just enough to see the top of Dean’s head. His face was buried between her thighs, bobbing up and down as he licked thick stripes through her wet lips. His hair was damp and matted, his green eyes glazed and unblinking as he worked.

She squirmed, wanting to pull away, but his big hands shot up from underneath her ass and locked around her thighs like cuffs. His fingers slid down to spread her sex wider and Dean sealed his plump, hot lips around her clit.

“Oh fuck- Dean!” Her breath caught and she pushed herself up, elbows disappearing into the thick carpet. She bucked her hips against his mouth as the pleasure built higher and her muscles grew tighter.

There was no reaction from her lover. No smug smirk, no proud chuckle, no teasing glance. He worked like a machine tasked with making her cum and nothing more. She could barely feel his breath on her skin, almost as if it wasn’t there.

Something was off with him and Y/N squinted at his face, trying to figure it all out as the questions churned in her mind.

Where are we?

How did we get here?

What the fuck is going on?

Dean’s tongue flickered against the tip of her clit and Y/N couldn’t help the contractions it caused inside her body. Her pussy clenched at nothing and her whimper echoed around them. The pleasure was too strong, too enthralling. Another pull from his mouth and Y/N sank back down into the carpet. Her arms fell limp at her sides, her knees dangled over Dean’s broad shoulders. She trembled and struggled to think but the suction of his mouth was too much, the heat of his tongue too thrilling.

Thick fog settled in her mind as the sweet smell of oven-fresh bread wove its way through the air and wrapped itself around her.

A hard orgasm broke through her body and Y/N’s mind went blank, her eyes fluttering closed as her body quaked.

#supernatural fanfiction #series #angst #dean winchester x reader

[butler-on-beale-street]

Let Me Call You Mama | Austin Butler X Reader | Part 1

Warnings: Minors absolutely DNI, This fic is 18+ only. Oral, giving and receiving. Lots of background and slow burn. More warnings to come...this is just a taste.

Word Count: 2.7K

A/N: I decided to break this into two parts to give the reader a little relief between parts. I didn't want the story to feel like a marathon. The second part will be out soon. I hope you enjoy this first part!

After a twelve-minute standing ovation, he really just wants to celebrate with you.

“Hey baby, where do you think we can get some dinner here?” Austin asked you with a smirk.

“In the middle of France at–” you looked at your phone. “12:13 am?” You looked back up at him. “Your best bet is some bread and butter back at the air bnb.” You watched as he flashed you a brilliant smile, pinching his cupid’s bow with his index finger and thumb in the mannerism you knew so well. 

“Honey, I’m so unbelievably proud of you,” you said, reaching for his hand. Tonight was the first official screening of Elvis at the Cannes Film Festival. You knew how anxious Austin had been for this evening. Every time you could sense his discomfort, you’d tell him the same words. “Baby, you’ve already done the hard work. You’ve worked for almost three years for the role. You deserve to be rewarded for it.” Now, you walked down a sloped cobblestone walkway with him by your side. With his hand in yours, you felt whole. You were grateful to share such a momentous occasion with the man you loved. 

“A twelve minute ovation…” he said, mostly to himself. “That’s how long Baz said they stood.” You nodded silently as Austin stood, staring at the starlit sky. “Do you think he’d be proud of me?” He asked. 

“Who, Elvis?” He eyed you from the side before returning his gaze above. “I think he’d be honored to have had such a wonderful and dedicated actor portray him. To have told his story with dignity.”

He lowered his gaze back to you before leaning to the side to kiss you on the top of your head before continuing to walk. “I’ve always wanted to do something that mattered. This was my opportunity.” His tone was reflective and thoughtful. “I just wish mom could have been here.”

“I don’t know what comes after life. But what I do know is that your mom was so proud of you, Austin. She IS proud of you. I can feel it. Did you not feel the electricity in the room earlier? There is absolutely no way she wasn’t there with you.” 

There was silence between the two of you as you walked toward the airbnb. It was only two blocks away, so you both agreed that there was no need to order a car. “Thank you,” he said, finally. 

“Of course, baby. I’ll always be here for you.” You squeezed his hand. “I’m blessed to be here with you.” He smiled softly in response to you, pulling you into him as you walked. 

“You’re the only one at the end of the day that I’ll ever need, baby. As long as you’re with me, I’m a better man.” You couldn’t help but blush into his chest as you walked. 

“You just always seem to know what to say.” You murmured, squeezing him as you walked. Suddenly, you felt yourself being whisked off of the ground. You yelped as you felt Austin grip your body to his, his arm braced securely under your knee and another around your back. 

“I’m gonna fall!” you sputtered in hushed panic. 

“I’d never let you fall.” He watched you from above, his eyes deep in thought. There was an unspoken proposition flitting between you in the moment, and no words seemed appropriate in the moment. You wanted him and he most certainly wanted you. “I’ll always catch you, baby.” You stared into his crystal eyes for an extended moment as he landed with you on the front step of the rental. 

“Promise?” You asked, knowing of course what his answer would be. 

“Always. Except, unfortunately, I gotta put you down to get the keys,” he said with a chuckle that made your stomach churn with butterflies. “Didn’t really think about that.” He set you on your feet and you waited for him to put the keys in the lock. You couldn’t help but giggle while you watched him struggle to get the key into the door. 

“Having some trouble there?” You asked, your cheeks pulling up in an eager grin. You could hear him mumbling to himself as he struggled before announcing “Aha!” He pushed the door open with force and you watched it crash against the wall before bouncing back between the two of you. There was a moment of silence between the two of you as you both stood in the doorway. In that moment, you could see in his eyes the question on the table. Your smile faded into something more serious and contemplative as his eyes danced between your lips and your eyes, drifting back and forth within the slowed moment. 

“Y/n–” He murmured in an almost whisper, asking to take you. You stopped him, choosing to live in the moment. You looked at him, taking his hand and nodded.

 “Please.” That was all he needed to hear. In the next moment, you were swept back into his arms and moved through the threshold of the house without another word. Austin kicked the door shut behind you and strode towards the bedroom, not bothering to turn on any lights. He kneed the second door open and padded into the bedroom, laying you lovingly upon the mattress. 

“Come here,” you beckoned him downward to you. You watched as he tore off his suit jacket, throwing it to the floor. Within a second, he was kneeled over you, staring into your soul. You brought your fingers up to his bowtie, untying it feverishly, pulling it into a long black ribbon that fluttered to the floor. He was unbelievably sexy dressed like this. This was the man that so many people were going crazy for. You knew that Austin was well within the realm of becoming America's next huge film sensation–but the man with you tonight loved you. Loved you. 

“Hey baby, what’re you thinking about down there?” He asked, pulling you out of your stupor. He met your eyes, trying to read your expression. 

You pulled at his cotton dress shirt, unbuttoning it. You shook your head, perhaps even reassuring yourself. “Just thinking about you. How proud I am of you. My movie star.” 

You watched as blush creeped up his neck and cheeks. “Baby, you’re the only woman I ever think about. I love you so much.” He leaned over you, kissing you softly on the lips. 

“You’re going to have the world at your fingertips, Austin,” you said, pulling his shirt apart to reveal his bare chest.You ran your hands over his sides as he watched you. 

He bent down to kiss you on your neck before whispering in your ear. “You are my world, Y/n. Always.” If any man knew how to make you feel loved, it was him. Without giving you more time to think on it, his hands shot underneath you, flipping you so that you were now on top of him. You sat up on his lap as his hands pulled at the hem of your silk dress. He pulled it up your legs and thighs and you lifted your hands over your head for him to bend upward and pull the garment over your head. 

“Why so red?” you asked, remarking on his face which was becoming noticeably pink in color. 

“Um…uh. You went to Cannes with no panties?” You felt his fingertips glide about your bare ass and hips. 

“Honey, silk hides nothing. Especially not panty lines.” You leaned over him, now completely nude. You hadn’t worn a bra either, and you could only imagine the pictures that would appear tomorrow showcasing your nipples through the delicate fabric for the world to see. 

“Makes me jealous to think everyone gets to see these,” He murmured as he pulled you down, latching on to one of your breasts with the velvet touch of his full lips. You couldn’t help but bite your bottom lip, letting your head fall back as he rolled your nipple with the tip of his tongue in a figure-8 pattern. You could feel the light prickle of his stubble against your skin. 

“Mm, but they don’t get to touch, do they?” You posed the question flirtatiously, as if this man weren’t already underneath you. 

You observed his eyes shift with a cocky glint, his lips pulling into a determined smirk. “No one gets to touch you except me.” His hands gripped your body hungrily, craning his neck to kiss your skin and sink his teeth into the softness of your breasts and down your belly. 

“Then touch me. Like the entire world is watching.” You challenged him, evening your gaze with his. “I want you to fuck me like—” you paused, attempting to pull words together. “You know how you felt tonight? So honored and proud of yourself? Feeling sexy and wanted by every woman and man in that room?” Your fingertips swirled on his chest as you contemplated. “I want–I need you to fuck me so good that you turn yourself on.” The filth that was spilling from your mouth surprised you, but you meant every word. Watching Austin accept so much kudos and admiration from film critics, producers and officials was quite a sight. He was always especially understated in his demeanor. He was extremely attractive; enough to be America’s next heart throb.

 In real life, Austin was an enigma; he loved being behind the camera, but never in front of an audience. His art was sacred to him, almost holy ground to him. The dedication and tireless hours that he spent with his craft continued to leave you in awe. You admired your boyfriend, and for many reasons. The optimism and love he had for life always kept you chasing the next big endeavor alongside him. But just as you chased the rest of his life with him, you also chased him. You wanted to share that fire that he felt for film. You wanted to be that fire for him. 

“Unlike some sorry bastards, I don’t have to pretend when I’m with you, baby. You’re the love of my life.” the way he said it erased any fear or doubt in your head in an instant. 

“Wait,” you said, pulling away from him to look him in the eye. “Austin, really?” You asked, tears springing to your eyes. 

“You’re all I’ve ever wanted.” He assured you, swiping a tear from your cheek before leaning upward to kiss you.

You kissed him deeply, your core set ablaze with a need that was beginning to take over completely. “Take me, Austin. Please.” He pulled his arms around you, rolling with you back into your original position. Feverishly, he pulled at his shirt, pulling it off of his arms and tossing it to the floor. You heard him as his fingers flew to his belt, unfastening and ripping it from the belt loops of his pants. You heard the zipper pull open and tilted your head to watch them sink to the floor, exposing his bare legs and thighs. You sat up and scooted towards him, bringing your hands to the waistband of his underwear. “Let me,” you murmured, pulling them down his hips and ass before sliding them the rest of the way down to the floor. Here, he stood completely naked in front of you, completely vulnerable. “The most handsome man I have ever seen,” you said sweetly, stroking his thigh softly with your thumb. 

“Please, baby” He said, the learned southern drawl falling from his lips in a saccharine tone. 

“Say that again. I want to hear you say it,” you asked as you took his erection in your hand. You watched as his eyes rolled into the back of his head as you began to stroke him slowly. 

“Fuck, baby. Please touch me, just like that.” You would never get tired of the way he spoke, the deep smoky tone stealing your breath away constantly. With your thumb, you rolled slow circles upon the head of his cock, dispersing the bead of slick precum around and underneath the tip. “Baby…” he whispered, his voice completely devoid of tone. 

“I know, baby. I know you need me.” You cooed to him as leaned in to tease him with the tip of your tongue, flicking it every which way. It made you feel powerful to be the one in control, and not in a performative way. You would be the one responsible for his whimpers, whines and groans. If he was good, you’d be the one to make him cum, too. You took him into your mouth, hollowing out your cheeks and lolling your tongue around him. You felt his hand move to your hair, undoing the neat hairstyle you had worn to the screening. Your hair fell in tendrils about your face as it fell free. His fingertips brushed your cheeks and temples as he swept it up in a makeshift ponytail, looping the stray hairs around his knuckles. Gaining back just enough control, he steadied his footing beneath you and pulled on your hair like his own set of reins. You took more of him into your mouth, feeling saliva beginning to drip from your lips and drag down your chin. You heard him groaning softly above you as he held you there. There was no vanity left to be had in this position; pushing yourself, you took the rest of his length, closing your throat around him, tears springing to your eyes, threatening to fall.

“Fuck, baby,” he whined, arching his back and bucking his hips into you. His pitch had increased, introducing more gravel into his voice. You hummed against his cock, fully aware that you looked like a mess, but frankly, you didn’t give a shit as long as you could please the man above you. 

“Baby,” He said in a warning tone. “Hm?” you hummed against him. You heard the helpless sigh escape his body as he began to stiffen. Without warning, he backed away from you. “Not yet. Lay down for me baby.” His voice was deep and strained and you could tell that it took a lot of self control for him to stop himself. 

You grinned up at him and obeyed the order, rolling back on your back and waiting for him. You eyed him as he wrapped his hands around your knees, pulling you to the edge of the bed. “I want to make you feel good, mama.” Your eyes widened as you heard him speak. “Oh I–”

“Did you just?” You asked with a bewildered scoff. 

“I didn’t realize, I just– I” He said, fishing for words to say. 

“Say it again. I dare you,” you said, biting at your bottom lip. “I liked it.”

He caressed your thighs with his palms for a moment, considering the request. “You like it when I call you mama? Playing like I’m Elvis?” He asked the question, raising his eyebrows. 

“I just like it when you say it. When you’re so goddamn cocky, you can’t help but become him. Never thought I’d be so fucking turned on by it.” You were honest with him. You loved his Elvis voice, watching him all those times in the studio assume the character. On particularly successful shooting days, he’d come home and fuck you like he really was the King of Rock and Roll. He hadn’t ever slipped up and called you ‘mama’ though. This was new. 

“Well then, I’ll keep that in mind.” With that, he sank down on you, placing soft kisses on the insides of your thighs, pulling them apart to get a better look at you. “So beautiful,” he said, bringing his fingertips to your folds. “Hmph,” he said in an enthused tone. He lifted his slick fingers up so that you could see them. “So wet for me, baby.” You watched as your own wetness webbed between his fingers. “If my voice could do it for you alone, I wonder what my tongue could do, hm?”

“Austin, baby. Please.” You whined, wanting so badly for him to stop teasing you. “I need you.”

“Don’t you worry one bit. I’ll take care of you.”

End of part 1.

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#Austin Butler #austin butler #austin butler x reader #austin butler fanfiction #austin butler imagine #austin butler fanfic #austin butler smut #elvis 2022 #elvis movie #Austin Butler x reader

[isweartheyregayyourhonor]

As an offering due to ao3 getting absolutely wrecked, here’s a sneak peak. :)

Sneak Peak:

The tension in the room could be cut through with a butter knife. It was thick and nervous, emanated by every thespian there. Outside the auditorium, they had all gathered in anticipation of Mr. Vaughan posting the audition results. Her stomach churned with the suspense of it all. Every couple of minutes Cynthia could feel Lydia’s eyes on her. It made her feel uneasy, but she was safe for now. The other girl was lounging with her sidekicks on the other side of the room. 

Realistically, Cynthia knew it was only a matter of time. She knew what that pull felt like - how every fiber of your being felt a universal need to be close. Like the Moon to the Earth, you would inevitably gravitate towards your soulmate. Still, she resisted it, thinking of the consequences that would result if she let it. 

When the door opened to reveal Mr. Vaughan with a crisp paper, a hush fell over the room. As he pinned it to the board, he gave everyone a tired smile before getting out of there as soon as possible. The thespians flocked to the results like a hoard of pigeons honing in on a spilt tray of french fries. Instead, Cynthia leaned against a nearby wall until they cleared out. 

Despite all of their prior complaints about the play being Romeo and Juliet, everyone was a flurry of excitement now. Slowly, she approached the results and her breath caught in her throat. She got the part. Truly, she hadn’t been expecting to land a role. She was ecstatic; the emotion bubbled up in her chest and manifested in the way her hands did a twitchy dance by her sides. 

Beside her, someone cleared their throat. She didn’t have to look to know that it was Lydia. Surprisingly, her apprehension about talking to her didn’t put a damper on her mood. Still, she pushed her hands flat against the side of her thighs and tried to keep her face neutral when she looked at the other girl. 

“Mercutio, huh?” 

“Yeah. To be honest, I was expecting ensemble.” She had to look away, she had to. One more second of looking at her soulmate and it would all come crashing down. Squinting at the list, she found Lydia’s name penned in next to Juliet. It was expected, of course, but it still brought an upward slant to her lips. 

It was quite for a moment until she responded, turning towards the greaser with her palm extended like an offering. Her eyes sparkled with curiosity, looking down at Cynthia like she had the answers to a myriad of unasked questions. “The name’s Lydia, by the way.”

Swallowing and nodding at the same time, she took her hand and shook it. Electricity sparked where their skin touched, sending that all too familiar chill racing up her arm. Before the other girl could question it, she dropped her hand. “As I’m sure you know by now, I’m Cynthia. Nice to make your acquaintance.” 

She was made hyperaware of her body by the eyes piercing into her. Her palms were sweating and her fingers were twitching. She could hear her heart racing, fighting her conscious mind for control. Everything in her screamed at her to run while she still could. Before this beautiful girl in front of her could figure it out and ruin her. But she stood with her feet seemingly buried three feet down in a lake of quicksand. She wasn’t going anywhere. 

“You're not half-bad for fresh blood.” Again, the brunette coughed like there was something stuck in her throat. To Cynthia, it felt like her heart was trying to come up her pharynx instead of air. She scoffed quietly at the attempt at praise, knowing that the girl likely meant it kindly. 

“Right.” Mentally gathering herself, she prepared to leave. Abandoning this conversation now would be the only way to keep this girl at arm’s length. At a safe distance. Putting her hands in her pockets, she shrugged and began walking off. Suddenly, a hand grasped her shoulder and pulled. Startled, she paused and looked up at Lydia. The hand quickly fell off, pulled back like it was burned. 

(if i could hold you for a minute - on AO3)

#rotpl #lynthia #cynthia x lydia #fanfic #sneak peak #very gay

[loiswasadevil]

living off grid is my life goal so i'm curious why you didn't enjoy it. what was it like?

Lets say a couple things first, Off grid = No technology; No electricity, Don't try to say im a fool by saying a Spoon is technology because i know it is, You all know what i mean when i say I had no technology. I was off grid for almost all of my Life as a punishment. It started when My dad wanted us to live a more pure life and stop watching shows like The simpsons and Family Guy, so imagine you lose your favorite interest like that in a snap. We had to do so much by hand like canning and hunting, fishing etc, It is a life filled with constant work and toil. My brother and I were forced to completely change our lives and throw away what we knew. We just wanted to watch cartoons and things like that and be normal But we were taken out of school and homeschooled Before going off grid and I hate that too. They thought that our peers were corrupting us And also shows like Family guy and the Simpsons, and the cartoons we would watch and things we would say in the house, And he blamed our mom for not instilling religion in us hard enough. Off grid was just a lot of work constantly all the time, Maintaining things and growing things and Preserving, I hate all of it. I hate processing my own flour, I hate churning butter, I hate fermenting, I don't want to do any of this preservation bull shit that i had to do, I want to eat foods that are from stores and not Because we are "living off the land". My parents told me and jonas that news and other things were privileges of the outside world So we werent even allowed to know about much at all, Except who would be elected president, But we were too young to really care or cherish that information in any way. I just wanted to watch shows, And whenever we would talk about shows we would get punished. Jonas and i would make Family guy episodes and create crossover episodes, infact jonas might have invented the concept of a crossover, But we would make crossover episodes and write them down and sometimes draw them, Usually jonas would draw them and not me because I cant draw, But We would come back from say getting firewood or some chore my dad would give us And He would greet us by making us start the fire with our drawings and stories, So we had to keep them in our head, or play them in secret and act out episodes as Peter and Lois and pretend the kids were with us. And we were so scared of my dad that we would wander off miles out in a straight line to play family guy in our Spot we called our Ditch. And we would always do it at night, And one time Jonas Got a disease called typhus And died to it So Off grid led to my brothers death because we had no access to proper medical care, And succumbing to the wilderness was just part of our punishment, But not to my mom. And a lot of people lie about what off grid is, they think that its just camping But its not. Its living off the grid, You can't be on the grid posting and looking at the internet and indulging of the things that this GRID provides to you.

#off grid

[smalltowngnoll]

Scoop of Meteor Ice Cream

Chunks of meteor not included.

This is a Mexican hot chocolate/rocky road hybrid. Instead of chocolate chips, I used chocolate cookie dough. That way there’s no giant frozen crunches of large chips! The recipe for the dough is at the end.

Ingredients

3 c milk

2/3 c sugar

1 tsp vanilla extract

1/2 tsp salt

1/cup cocoa powder

1/4 tsp chili powder

1-2 cinnamon sticks

6 egg yolks

3/4 c chopped walnuts, toasted

3/4 c chocolate chips/dough

Recipe

In a sauce pan, mix the milk, sugar, salt, cocoa powder, vanilla, cinnamon sticks, and chili powder. Bring to a simmer on low heat.

Put the egg yolks in a large, nonreactive bowl. Slowly add a little milk mixture at a time, whisking constantly. Continue to add milk mixture until eggs are tempered.

Return the mixture to the pot, and bring to a boil on medium heat, stirring constantly. Once the custard thickens, remove from heat and remove the cinnamon sticks. Let cool.

Once cooled, out in your ice cream maker and make your ice cream. I’ve got a wooden bucket churned with an electric motor, personally. So I need rock salt to make mine.

Towards the end of the process, add nuts and chocolate chips/dough in. Allow the mixture to continue churning to completion.

Cookie Dough Recipe

Cream 1/2 c butter with 1/2 c sugar and 1/4 c packed brown sugar. Mix in 1 egg and 1/2 tsp vanilla extract. Work in 1 heaping cup of flour, 1/4 c coacoa powder, 1/2 tsp salt, and if you plan to bake leftovers, 1/2 tsp soda. (Bakes 12 min at 350.)

Shitty Picture

Slow burn on the chili powder made this a memorable scoop of ice cream!

#neopets #neopia #nostalgia #recipe #neotag #neopetsfood #regular ass food

[piers-official]

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain

I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain

But that's just perfect for an Amish like me

You know, I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the morning, I'm milkin' cows

Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool

And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that

Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline

Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin

But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine

Then tonight, we're gonna party like it's 1699

🎶We been spendin' most our lives Livin' in an Amish paradise

I churned butter once or twice Livin' in an Amish paradise

It's hard work and sacrifice Livin' in an Amish paradise

We sell quilts at discount price Livin' in an Amish paradise!!🎶

#answered asks #pkmn irl #pkmn rp #//god this is so fucking funny #//my dad and i sued to listen to weird al in his car all the time #//so this song ACTUALLY has meaning to me #//good job anon~! #piers rp

[milkyday011]

Milky Day offers butter churners both electrical as well as manual types to meet the requirements of our clients. Before installation and use, read the Milky butter churn manual carefully. Low price and a 2-year warranty. For more info, visit www.milkyday.com    

#electric butter churn #hand butter churn #milky butter churn

[max--phillips]

Y’all I am losing my shit

Transcript:

“This is Gay Science. In today’s episode, do lesbians hate electricity? Lesbian love stories and modern technology rarely coexist. Why are lesbians always caged birds in the 1800s with no air conditioning? Do they only hook up after churning butter? Does Melissa Etheridge want us to wait by the light of the moon because she doesn’t own lamps? If you think lesbians avoid electricity, think again. At the Tori Amos Institute, a double-ended double-sided study showed that queer women hold 500% more electricity in their bodies than heterosexuals. In lesbian atoms, electrons just won’t slow down, and move in very very fast, causing a higher electrical charge, which also has its benefits. It gives queer women a stronger connection to paranormal activity and ghosts. It makes good use of their sandals, containing the energy in a closed circuit system, and just like any electrical setup, studs are essential for support. Queer electricity is also a major part of our power grid. Lesbians transfer their currents through their carabiners to their keys into a complex sapphic grid system. Niecy Nash powers multiple residential communities, Sue Perkins keeps the lights on at a dozen Tescos, and Tegan and Sara are the sole power source of the Coachella Ferris wheel each year. Queer women deserve better media representation that reflects their actual electricity, but until then, at least give them wifi.”

#video #tori says things #max says things

[uncaaj]

Fanfic - The Brekkie After (Bluey)

READ ON AO3 NOW!

The morning light crept into Bandit’s vision and seared his eyeballs. All at once he became painfully aware of how bad he felt. Time for his own version of the “Checklist.”

Dry mouth? Check.

Throbbing headache? Check.

Back aching from sleeping on Stripe’s floor and not his comfy bed? Double check.

Time to lay back. The show’s not going on today. 

“Ugh…babe?” he croaked. “I did it again.”

His wife Chilli didn’t move from where she lay next to him. “Me too,” she sighed.

“Me three,” groaned Stripe from the couch.

Bandit shrugged. “Well, that’s not too bad, I suppose.”

At that moment, a chorus of moans erupted from all the adults splayed out in all corners of Stripe’s living room, the casualties of the kid-free get-together they had last night that went a little too long and a little too crazy.

“Biscuits,” Bandit hissed. “Spoke too soon.” They were all irresponsible and were paying for it now. If he didn’t interact with any kids today, it would be a blessing.

+++

BANDIT: *yawwwwwnnnn* This episode of Bandit is called “The Brekkie After."

+++

Bandit massaged his forehead with his fingertips as he eased himself upright. Bright light assaulted his eyes as if the sun was right in his face. “Why did we think this was a good idea?”

“Can someone get the shade?” said Stripe, his strong bark barely a grunt today.

“Got it,” said Bandit. He dragged his lead paws behind the couch to the patio door. Pulling the shade across the glass felt like heaving a heavy rock across a swamp. He sighed with the relief of a dimmer living room.

“My towel is still wet,” said Wendy, rolling off the other couch and flopping onto the floor.

Pat scrubbed board game pieces off his chest and held up a bank note to show everyone. “Still have the bet I won when I dared you to jump in the pool.” He then let his arm go limp on the side table, accidentally knocking an empty beer can onto the floor. “Oops.”

“Only because Bandit dared to get cheeky with me,” Wendy grumbled.

“Seems to happen a lot at Heeler get-togethers, eh? The pool, I mean,” said Bandit, before feeling the roof of his mouth and making a yucky face. “Feels like there’s slime in my mouth.”

“Nah, that’s from when you ate a whole jar of peanut butter faster than Pat,” said Chilli.

“Blegh!” said Pat. “That stuff’s only good in small amounts and on crackers.”

Bandit leaned back and felt his back crack satisfyingly. He saw Josh Border Collie shiver and wince, which meant he was awake too. “I suppose since I’m the only one up, I’ll go put the kettle on and get brekkie goin’.” He shot a smug look over his shoulder as he stepped gingerly out of the living room. “You lot just lay there and have a think about what you did.”

“You as well,” said Chilli, sending that look back at him. “I recall this party being your idea.”

Bandit gulped. “Yes, babe,” he said as he trudged to Stripe’s kitchen.

“Well, I might have a shower then,” said Josh, sitting up rapidly, and collapsing back down just as fast. “Ugh, room’s spinnin’. Never mind.”

“Get in line, Josh,” said Wendy, shooting him a death glare with all the energy she had left.

The sink water filling up Stripe’s electric kettle sounded like a churning waterfall to Bandit’s sensitive ears. His headache rumbled inside him with the ferocity of a rolling timpani as he shut off the tap and placed the kettle on its perch to come to a boil. He then carefully placed the stray wine glasses on the bar into the sink before peering back through the entryway to the goo-like adults who had barely moved. “Stripe, what should I make for brekkie?”

“Could you make hangover eggs?” Stripe asked. “Those always do the trick.”

“What? No!” Pat protested, scrunching his snout. “That’s disgusting.”

“This isn’t like college, Pat,” Stripe rebutted, “I got more in my fridge now than just tomato sauce and day-old dim sims.”

“Don’t matter. Bandit’ll still put anything he wants in there, even stuff that doesn’t go together. Remember when he put instant noodles and anchovies in it after the ‘99 Winter Social? Blegh!”

“Never stopped you from lickin’ your plate clean every time, did it?” Bandit quipped.

Pat stuttered and the whole room mustered as much laughter as they could in their hungover state.

Bandit’s headache lightened slightly and his tail twitched with pride. “I’ve ‘improved’ the recipe through the years so just lay back and let the chef make some magic, alright?”

“Righto,” Pat chuckled, not willing to argue anymore.

Bandit nodded and went to grab some ibuprofen from a cabinet he knew was far out of reach for Muffin and Socks. The kettle clicked, signaling the water was ready. Just in time, thought Bandit. “And take some ibuprofen,” he told Pat. “It’ll take your crank away.”

Pat rolled his eyes and looked at Chilli. “Bandit sure is somethin’, eh?”

Chilli smiled. “Yeah. The best.”

After tea and ibuprofen were dispersed around the room, everyone seemed to come out of zombie mode. Of course, Bandit knew this was merely a chisel to the hangover when they needed a jackhammer. The kids were coming back from his big brother Rad’s pad later, so onto that brekkie.

The Faceytime jingle played on the tablet on the counter. Speak of the devil, and he shall ring, especially when you’re preoccupied with searching through Stripe’s refrigerator. He ducked away from the fridge to tap the green call button then returned to rummaging his paws through the vegetable drawer.

“How goes it, little brother?” greeted Rad in his usual sunny manner.

Cradling a green pepper, spinach, mushrooms, and bacon in his arm, he shut the fridge and turned to the tablet. He nodded to his brother on screen and tried to smile as he set the stuff on the counter. He silently wished that he didn’t look like he hadn’t slept in days, but perhaps the blue and red heeler mix wouldn’t notice. He was a little absent-minded at times.

“Whoa, you look like you haven’t slept in days,” Rad laughed. 

Well, throw that out the window. “Perceptive this morning, are we?” said Bandit, rubbing his eyes.

“Did you and your mates do it again?”

“Yeah, we did. Hope the kids ran you ragged as well,” said Bandit with a playful sneer.

“Yeah, I bet. Nah, it’s all good. We gave ‘em enough games to ensure they slept through the night. In fact, Bluey’s the only one up right now. She went on a run with me.”

Bluey scampered into the frame and waved. “Sure did!”

Bandit gave a thumbs up. “Good on ya, kiddo!” Didn’t matter if he was hungover or not, a grin from his oldest pup made feel light as a feather every time.

“Are you alright, dad?” Bluey asked, moving in closer.

Bandit rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, we just got to bed late last night.”

“Everyone?”

“Yeah, everyone.”

Bluey raised an eyebrow. “That happens a lot at Heeler parties, doesn’t it?”

A cold sweat formed on Bandit’s back. He had forgotten he used that excuse once before. He’d better hop off before any more questions were asked.

Luckily, Rad was on top of it as he pet Bluey on the head. “Alright, I’ll take care of brekkie for the kids. You just make sure everyone else is right as rain, you hear?”

Bandit nodded. “Will do.”

“Bye, dad!”

“See ya, Bluey!” With that, they disappeared from the tablet.

“Was that Rad?” asked Stripe from the living room.

“Sure was,” said Bandit. “Bluey’s up so I better make this quick.” He got to work chopping the bacon into lardons and the pepper into a fine dice.

“Hey, mate,” said Pat, wandering in, mug in hand. “Top us off, could ya? Everything still tastes like peanut butter.”

Bandit smiled. “No worries.”

After his mug was refilled, Pat took a seat at the bar and sipped the warm liquid, swishing it around his mouth to rid every last speck of peanut butter. “If my kids ever find out what we grown-ups do when they’re not around, I couldn’t look ‘em in the eye again.”

“Bluey nearly did, I think,” Bandit gulped.

“Ha! Insightful nose, that one.”

“Did I ever tell you about what happened after Chilli and I were here for New Year’s?” Bandit asked. Pat shook his head and took another sip. “So in walks Bluey and Bingo, looking to play Whale Watching with us-”

“Hang on,” Chilli called, making her entrance. “You cook, I wanna tell him this story.”

Bandit winked at her. “Fine by me, babe. You tell it better anyhow.”

Josh tapped his foot as he sipped his tea, the warm drink putting him in better spirits. “Will we ever, doo doo-doo doo, be that funky again?” he hummed to himself.

“You’re going to get that silly song stuck in my head again,” Wendy barked playfully.

Josh shrugged. “You kiddin’? That was the best part of the night right there.”

“I didn’t sound too bad, did I?” asked Stripe.

“‘Course not!” came Bandit’s voice. “I’m just glad you sang with me at all!”

“Just like old times,” Stripe called back.

A content silence settled around the room, broken only by the distant sizzling of bacon and the release of its sweet, smoky aroma into the air. The quiet was welcome among them all, not only because of their still sensitive heads but because it was such a rarity in their households since they had kids. All those old times when they had not a care in the world were now left behind, having made way for the new times and the joy and responsibility they now shared.

Wendy piped up. “Yes, I suppose it was a good song…do you think we will ever be that funky again?”

Stripe stretched his neck, feeling it pop. “Nah.”

Josh shook his fluffy head. “Nope.”

“Not a chance!” Pat exclaimed.

Everyone laughed, wistful nostalgia echoing between them until they all settled again into their tired, hungover selves.

“That’s okay, though,” said Stripe. “I like how funky we are now.”

Wendy nodded and sat back. “Yes, I agree.”

“It’s certainly easier on me head, I’ll tell ya that for free,” said Josh.

“Brekkie’s on!” shouted Bandit.

Soon they were all congregated at the dining table, each adult provided with a generous egg scramble on a piece of toast. Tea was refilled and they all proceeded to tuck in.

Pat didn’t know what he was in for, but it was hot, it was here, and any brekkie he’d wait for back home would just be dry cereal. He picked up the toast and hesitantly took a bite. 

“What do ya reckon, Pat?” Bandit asked.

Pat swallowed and couldn’t help but wag his tail slightly. “I forgot you made ham and pineapple pizza a religious experience,” he said, licking his chops. “I will never doubt your abilities again.”

“Uss!” Bandit cheered, pumping his fist. “Still got it!”

“Good job, babe,” said Chilli, squeezing his hand.

“As long as I wake up to this,” said Josh through a mouthful, “Good friends and good food, I wouldn’t mind doing this again. Just not too funky next time, eh?”

Everyone nodded. “Agreed.”

#bluey #fanfiction #aj tries to write #bandit heeler #chilli heeler #pat bluey #lucky's dad #wendy bluey #judo's mum #stripe heeler #joshua border collie #mackenzie's dad #ao3 #hangover #fluff #humor

[doberbutts]

I know this wasn't The Point but I have a cat who used to be (against my wishes and control as a kid/teen) indoor/outdoor and hunted a lot, and have always STRUGGLED with getting her to enjoy playing with toys, so I would love if you could elaborate a bit more on the rabbit hair covered toy! Was it like a rabbit pelt over/sewn to a toy, or..? Was it like a string toy or a moving toy or just like. A little sewn mouse?

Oh! So I used to live in a place that was hideously rural, like... roughly half the folks travelled by horse either on their backs or pulling buggies, most people churned their own butter, most people made their own clothes and blankets, schoolhouses were often one or two rooms with a whole mess of kids of varying ages, most people didn't even have electricity in their house, etc etc. I was specifically a little more modern than all that but that was my general area until I was in my early 20s and left. So I don't know if you can buy a similar product in a store or online, this was something handmade as most things you found in stores were handmade.

But it was basically a little plastic or cardboard tube with catnip inside, and a piece of rabbit pelt sewn around it to make it look like a mouse. And all of my cats have always gone absolutely apeshit over it vs other toys they'll play with but not nearly to that extent. I'm sure you could probably make something similar if you had the supplies, and it shouldn't be obscenely difficult to do either. I bought them from only a specific local-owned store, the man's wife made them by hand in her spare time and they were like $5 for three.

[prettyboykatsuki]

bro not having electricity or data had me doing so much to try and pass the time. i churned butter in the dark. i read a whole book. i beat my meat to smithereens and passed out from heat stroke. i finished like 2 fic chapters. cleaned my keyboard. just doing anything

#aristotle.txt

[loiswasadevil]

WHY THE HELL ARE BUTTER VIDEOS EVEN RECOMMENDED TO ME AT ALL, I ALWAYS SEE VIDEOS OF FAMILIES CHURNING THEIR BUTTER, THIS TIME USING AN ELECTRIC DRILL THAT HONESTLY WAS INGENIOUS BUT FUCK THAT, THE POINT IS WHY THE HELL DO I NEED TO BE SEEING BUTTER MAKING VIDEOS.

[deputygonebye]

Sense and Other Specific Headcanons

What does your muse smell like?

Shane smells like the black coffee he drinks, the beverage that starts every one of his mornings, hints of a richness unfound anywhere else. Combined with touches of Old Spice Cologne, warm spring water and bar soap, campfires and freshly churned dirt, natural musk, Shane's scent is all his own.

What does your muse's hands feel like?

Rough and callused. From years of dedicated work as a deputy and as a survivor of the apocalypse thereafter, Shane's hands have been through hell. Hardened around the edges, scarred from where battle had been seen and fought. Almost like sandpaper in certain spots, muscles in the hands themselves strong, soft only toward those loved most.

What does your muse usually eat in a day?

Shane's day always begins with a fresh cup of black coffee. No sugar, no cream. Just straight black, but most always accompanied by some sort of breakfast treat. Life as an officer didn't always allow for a big and hearty breakfast, life of a survivor isn't all that much different. For those quick mornings, if he can, he'll grab something small to go with his coffee. A doughnut. A piece of toast with butter. Something easy to make and quick to eat. For days when he can actually enjoy the meal, sit and feast comfortably. Shane likes to go all out. Scrambled eggs, bacon, toast with jam, hashbrowns, pancakes and/or waffles, yogurt. It's all there. Lunch is usually a bit lighter, in terms of quantity. He'll go for the simple: a sandwich with chips on the side, maybe soup. A meal far more plain but never less satisfying. Dinner's much like lunch, never as heavy as breakfast, but still able to carry its own. More often than not, Shane settles for protein orientated dinner options. Big steaks. Big burgers. Big fillets of fish. Served with a side of veggies, potatoes or mixed greens, sometimes French fries, if he has the patience for the prep, sometimes pasta, it really depends on his mood and what he's craving.

Does your muse have a good singing voice?

No. Shane can't sing to save his life, but he does try with great effort! Though he's guaranteed to be a little off-pitch and off-key, he'll sing to his favorite songs until his heart's content. For his own enjoyment and the enjoyment of friends who are forced to hear him, he's so bad, he's almost good. Belting out his favorite Elvis tunes, or singing the chorus to any Pearl Jam classic, Shane takes center stage without fear.

Does your muse have any bad habits or nervous ticks?

Yup. He definitely does! In terms of bad habits, one is the fact that he drinks when he's upset. Shane doesn't have a dependency on the bottle, but when he's overly stressed about something, utterly depressed, it's where he turns to. A bottle of beer to soothe his hurting heart, a glass of nothing but good whiskey to calm his spirits. It's not the healthiest choice - Shane isn't proud of his habit - but it is one that he makes continuously whenever he's in that certain funk. Nervous ticks are few and far between, but one that he does have would be running a hand through his hair/scalp. Whenever the feelings of anxiousness creep over, instantly, Shane's hand is in his curls, roaming through them, touching them. Even with the buzzcut, fingertips are always rubbing his head, working out the worries as best as they can.

What does your muse usually look like/wear?

Shane's look never really changes, nor does what he chooses to wear. He's sported the same look for so many years, it's almost weird to see him without it. Curls styled by moose on top of his head, a buzzcut shaven clear to the scalp, with mindful eye of the electric razor, sometimes he has a beard, sometimes not. Outside of those four styles, Shane doesn't venture to try new things. Doesn't care to. In regards to what he wears, his go-to look is a nice pair of dark blue jeans and a basic t-shirt, usually black or brown. A pair of brown boots on his feet, a thick black belt across his hips, his clothing style is definitely casual and practical. Occasionally, he'll throw on a flannel, red plaid with detailing of black or navy blue.

Is your muse affectionate? How so?

Affection for Shane is most always saved for the people he loves or cares about. Warm embraces and tender kisses. He's not very touchy-feely with those he doesn't know, unless it's someone in honest trouble or in desperate need of help. Strangers won't come to know his physical affection at all, and enemies will only be welcomed to the brutality of his fists, his guns and weaponry. Around kids, though, especially those within his own group or community, he's a total softie and turns into a real teddy bear of a man. Very gentle and very affectionate.

What position does your muse sleep in?

Shane sleeps on his belly. Done so ever since he was a little boy, when Jean would rub his back to help him fall asleep. It's hard for him to find sleep in any other position.

Can you hear your muse in the hallway from another room?

Yes. Most definitely! Either by voice or the fall of his footsteps, Shane isn't exactly a fieldmouse of a man. He's loud and obnoxious. Even when he isn't in one of his tempers, he's just a commanding person and can be heard from any nearby space. One stomp from his foot, or one joyous laugh, and anyone who knows him would recognize them as belonging to Shane.

Tagged by: @wexarethewalkingxdead

Tagging: ALL THE PEOPLES!

#wexarethewalkingxdead #Heart of A Soldier || Headcanon

[pulsdmedia]

The Week Ahead 5/7-5/13

The sun is shining for the most part, and we’re taking full advantage by filling our calendars with all the fabulous things happening this week. And food. So much good food...

$119 Spring Bash: A 3 Hour Premium Open Bar & Food Gala

Returning for another year of drinks, eats, & delights for a great cause, The Annual Young Professionals Committee's (YPC) Spring Bash is ready to serve up ample deliciousness to benefit Big Brothers Big Sisters of NYC! In addition to masterfully-mixed & poured libations, sip on blissful liquids from beloved brands like élevé Water, Ghia, and Recess, taking a break to devour dreamy cookies by Maman, ooey-gooey Rainbow Grilled Cheeses by Toastieland, Jet's Detroit-Style Pizza, Oishii Berry, and then some - not to mention as much ice cream as you can stomach, so come hungry! Gather your foodie friends, arrive ready to indulge, and celebrate giving a helping hand - let's do it!

Electric Dream Days With Mercedes-Benz

Calling all car lovers! It's time to electrify New York City! Experience the all-new, all-electric, Mercedes-Benz vehicle portfolio at Mercedes-Benz Manhattan! Pick any car in their electric fleet and take it for a test drive in the city. Plus, unlock some amazing exclusive offers & freebies for joining. You'll definitely feel like the coolest person around!

$75 Ticket To An All You Can Pasta Festa! A Food, Wine, & Cocktail Festival

What better way to live la dolce vita and celebrate the arrival of warmer months than by diving into handmade, authentic Italian pasta, luscious wines, top-notch cocktails, and countless Italian bites at Eataly? The night will be abundant with flavor as you twist and twirl your way through every pasta under the sun and sniff and swig a wide array of vinos and cocktails, encouraging cheers of "salute" with every sip. You'll swoon over the Ravioli ai Piselli (house-made ravioli filled with calabro ricotta and spring peas with a lemon butter sauce), while the Penne con le Melanzane (Afeltra penne pasta salad, roasted eggplant, cherry tomato, ricotta salata, and basil) is an unbeatable Spring classic. Top off this wonderful evening with fresh Gelato - this is how you do dreamy decadence, Italian-style...

Gallery Opening Party

Anthology Editions is proud to present an exhibition of photographs by Patrick D. Pagnano in celebration of the release of his book Empire Roller Disco. Join for an opening party and groove to the tunes of the legendary Empire Rollerdrome DJ “Big Bob” Clayton, browse their pop-up (by celebrated record & roller skate store, The Shop), and grab a drink to go with your copy of Empire Roller Disco.

Texas Chili Cook Off

The time has finally come that you've long been waiting for: The Texas Exes New York Chapter is bringing back their famous Chili Cookoff to New York City! Get ready for a foray of fare as New York City's best Tex-Mex institutes go head to head - think Pig Beach, Stout, Hill Country, Horns Hook, Javelina, Mellers Sports Hub & Grill, Cooleys BBQ, Salsa Pistolero, King David's Tacos, and Whole Foods, all churning their riffs on the heartiest, most addictive chilis. You'll even get the chance to vote for your favorite! In a gorgeous outdoor space & within rustic interiors at Pig Beach BBQ, you'll get lost in flavors, adding in some velvety Queso & endless swigs of ice-cold beers, wines, and potent cocktails! Live music, tailgate games, amazing prizes, and a surprise Kendra Scott trunk show exhibiting her newest pieces will add even more revelry to the shenanigans. The heat is on - don't miss a bite...

Skincare Masterclass

Join Alex Yanez, National Education Manager for SK-II for a skincare masterclass! Bloomingdale's experts will create a personalized routine, tailored to your skin concern. Learn how to transform your skin at home with unique tips from our most awarded, best-selling Beauty Essence. Plus, receive a special gift with your $400 purchase.