#embarrassing….

[miss-conjayniality]

adhd meltdown over nu’est……….need to vent

NU’EST - a name that brings about a myriad of intense, tumultuous, goosebump-inducing emotions.

look….ima queue this shit cuz the thought of posting it in real time makes me cringe 💀

sigh. i hate getting this vulnerable. it’s uncomfortable. but i have to get this off my chest. it’s been two years since their disbandment. geez. time flies. and let me just tell you, this time of the year is always so sentimental to me. it hurts. it’s also when my adhd dives into extreme hyperfixation mode for them. no group (except for seventeen and skz) can invoke such feelings from me like nu’est does.

while I can still enjoy their music with love and gratitude even post-disbandment, there are rare occasions where i have to avoid listening to their music because it’s too painful to think of how it all ended. about what could’ve been.

i’ve been a DEVOUT nu’est stan since their debut in 2012 (alongside seventeen in 2013). i saw their peaks and troughs. and it feels like not only did i watch them grow, but also grew up with them.

and no i’m not saying this in a weird, creepy parasocial way. but genuinely in the sense that i’ve been listening to them since i was just a wee little middle schooler. their music, as well as numerous other groups from that era, served as the background music to my life.

thank you nu’est. thank you so much for filling my adolescence with insurmountable happiness during a phase in my life where I was clueless and insecure. thank you for being a source of comfort during my lowest periods. thank you for showing me the importance of grit and not letting a rock bottom phase hinder me from going after what I desire. thank you for helping me find solace in a community of fellow loves whom I still speak with to this day after all these years. and even though it’s been two years since the disbandment, it’s also been 12 years (wtf….no way) since the debut. and i WILL continue enjoying your music from years on out because it transcends time. it will always be a source of comfort and solace for me.

and even though I don’t truly wish to go back to the past, I will always cherish and respect the memories I held with your discography. and even though ot5 is no more, it’ll always be ot5 in my heart. forever and beyond.

every era evokes different eras of my own life - face, action, and hello from when I was just beginning middle school, sleep talking from when i was entering 8th grade. re:birth being released on my 15th birthday 🥺. their string of cringey japanese releases from when i was about to begin high school.

and of course, that segues into my next tangent - q is and beyond. during their inception, they had one of the most viewed debuts of their time and had a promising trajectory. face, action, and hello were all well-received. but then they fell into nugudom after sleep talking. and this was their first korean cb after 2 years. I remember rejoicing in happiness when q is came out. i remember listening to it on the way to my first period english class with my headphones and then continuing listening to it during our silent reading sessions lmao 😭💀. I cried happy tears and voted obsessively for them when they were promo-ing on music shows. they never won. but I was still happy and grateful they were back nonetheless. fast forward to later that year and they came back with an amaaazziingg fall album that i always come back to every september - canvas. this album was a source of comfort for me during that turbulent period coughs….the 2016 election…and when I started taking college classes in high school

we absolutely CANNOT talk about nu’est without discussing broduce 101. this absolute dumpster fire of a show tested my patience so much. I remember being PISSED when intl fans weren’t allowed to vote this season because I wanted to support my boys the same way I supported the pledis girlz who’d soon become p-…p….pristin….but that’s a tangent for another day daahhllliinnggss🥴🥴… i was so unhinged too that I even watched it during class sometimes LMAOOO HELP this is so hilarious to look back at😭💀

anyways I felt that this was simultaneously the best and worst season of p101 ever. most of the contestants were amazing and went on to release some gooood music afterwards. but good fucking god mnet tugged at my heartstrings wayyy too hard. I couldn’t stand it. as someone who is also a dedicated predebut carat, I also watched it for my baby samuel 🥺😢 mnet did both nu’est and sammy so dirty.

I remember the p101 s2 finale so vividly. I remember it like it was yesterday. I promised myself I wouldn’t peek at any social media that day but during lunch break i ACCIDENTALLY opened twitter and the moment I saw the spoilers, tears immediately made their way to my eyes. it broke my heart so bad. that entire day I was a fucking mess trying to make it through my last three classes of the day. the moment I got home, the first thing i did was lock myself in the bathroom and cry for an hour. I then cried even more in the shower.

it hurt me so bad seeing minhyun sobbing like that. the way jr still had the biggest smile on his face with happy tears for minhyun despite not making it into wanna one’s lineup still tests my sanity.

and the final straw? seeing the camera panning to seungcheol’s somber expression and samuel’s parents. and good fucking grief…….I cannot even imagine how seungcheol must’ve felt. I don’t think I could ever fathom the level of sorrow he felt at that very moment. for both nu’est and samuel. seeing all of his former colleagues that he himself grew up with being used as mere pawns by mnet. even after all these years, I still have to hold back tears whenever I dwell on this moment.

luckily that sorrow was soon followed by joy. when they created nu’est w as a workaround for minhyun’s year at wanna one, I was elated to see how successful they were doing on the charts and the way yEoBoSaYoOoO never dies🤣💀

where you at. deja vu. help me. all solid title tracks with immaculate b-sides to top it all off. ahhh. what a breath of fresh air the nu’est w era was. seeing them finally have their redemption after years of ridicule. and look….as much as I adored wanna one, part of me couldn’t wait until minhyun was finally back with nu’est sjsjsjsjsk😭

And when that moment came? OOOOOOF OMG!!!! I cannot stress ENOUGH how much I love happily ever after!!!! WHAT A COMEBACK ALBUM THAT WAS!!! NOT A SINGLE FUCKING SKIP! I still enjoy listening to it. it was an era that showed that they’re finally back in full force.

I felt that this era reflected nu’est in their fullest, highest form. THIS is who nu’est is! THIS is what their music sounds like! THIS is their image. if I were to introduce nu’est to anyone, I’d show them this album first.

later that year, they released the table and a string of songs with spoonz. such an underrated era tbh. not as strong as happily ever after was. but BOY OH BOY these guys KNOW how to drop a solid disco style song. love me is suuuch an ear worm that deserves more appreciation tbh.

and can we talk about THEEEE fucking NOCTURNE!?!?? OH MY GOODNESS WHAT AN ERA!!!! I’m in trouble is one of my fav title tracks next to bet bet. not even joking. reason being is coz as a britney stan, it really reminds me of oops I did it again lmaooo. moondance is one of my fav nuest b-sides EVERRR! AND THE WAY IT WAS PRODUCED BY JC CHASEZ FROM NSYNC TOO!?!??? I never expected to see my worlds colliding like this. just to clarify, I have a love-hate relationship and one-sided beef with nsync because of what justin did to britney. JC DESERVED BETTER! HE DESERVED WHAT J*STIN GOT!!! AGGGH but that’s a tangent for another day daahhlliinnggsss……..😪🤐

the nocturne really comforted me during the pandemic. during this point in time, I remember thinking “wow. it’s been 8 years. and even through this moment of global darkness, they’re still going strong and bringing light to their fans”.

a year later, they released their 2nd full album and their first release under the hybe acquisition and a week before drunk-slayed🥰what a slayful month april was. inside out wasn’t my absolute fav title track but I definitely found it to be a refreshing spring anthem. AND i llooovvee me some nu’solos 🤌🏼🤌🏼

i remember hearing about the news of NU’EST’s disbandment and going WHAT!?!??? it was as if I IMMEDIATELY felt my world turning upside down. I was in the middle of studying for finals AND wrapping up my internship. it was stressful already. i also went on a cold turkey social media fast. BUT I accidentally opened youtube and it threw off my whole vibe when studying for my exams.

I felt like a fucking wreck. It wasn’t until after that shitstorm was over when I actually checked out needle and bubble (lazy ass album thanks to hybe) and sobbed THEEEE absolute UGLIEST tears ever.

it broke my heart to see hybe disbanding nu’est like at the drop of a hat because they were JUST having their second career glory. they threw all of NU’EST’s hard work down the drain. and it’s disappointing because we could’ve seen more nu’enha and nu’txt interactions (living off my very few minhyun and baekho crumbs since they’re still under hybe) 😢 we could’ve seen them and seventeen together being big brothers to the youngsters and witnessed what would’ve been the sweetest, most wholesome interactions ever. sigh. the very few nu’enha and nu’txt interactions that exist are the crumbs I will madly eat.

NU’EST’s lore/backstory is what makes them iconic. and it’s amazing how even to this day they STILL inspire “nugu” idols to get a second chance and redeem themselves. no other group has the story nu’est does and that’s also another reason I respect them so much. what they’ve accomplished is not an easy feat. and their persistence in keeping their dreams alive actually inspires me to keep going in life even when I’m at my lowest. nu’est may be ‘disbanded’, but their story lives on and will continue to inspire and motivate others.

thank you aaron. thank you jr. thank you baekho. thank you minhyun. thank you ren.

thank you nu’est.

#q ♡ : spotted! a peek inside heidi’s queuetique #heidi’s tangents ♡ #BRUH….😭 not my rant being the length of a whole ass FANFIC💀 #embarrassing…. #well??? #that’s adhd hyperfixations for ya!!🤪 #and that’s also adhd tangents for ya!!!! #nu’est #nuest #minhyun #hwang minhyun #baekho #nuest ren #nu’est ren #nu’est jr #nuest jr #aaron kwak

[tariah23]

Whenever mutuals like post’s I reblog, I’m always immediately bombarded with every single typo that I made in the tags of that post like I go back, scrambling to correct my mistake 🗿.

#embarrassing…. #rambling #I swear I can spell and use proper punctuations 🚶🏾‍♀️

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours? #also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that! #unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

[stuckinapril]

people who only use conventional social media are so funny bc they’ll casually be like “can I see your tumblr??” are you Insane. this is no instagram or twitter. this is my vault of secrets

#im only allowed to be publicly embarrassing in front of people who equally overshare on this hellsite #text

[anartificialsatellite]

The older I get the more I admire people who are earnestly, genuinely into whatever their thing is. I know it sounds like an annoying cliche but unless you're being cruel or hurtful there is really no need to be normal about things. The dude with the bad fake accent at the renaissance faire is having the time of his life. The people having photoshoots with their fashion dolls are loving it. The old lady with a yard unreasonably full of tacky ass lawn ornaments is having a blast, HOA be damned.

Don't waste your time being too cool to have fun, y'know?

#it's hard sometimes not to be embarrassed when people tell you you should be and im still working on it #but life is so much more fun that way

[caffeinatedopossum]

Me when I remember something I said ages ago that was wrong or my values no longer align with

#my path of self improvement has been less self righteous and personally gainful #and more just. a lot of embarrassment and pain #like i wouldnt change the path i took to get where i am now but i wouldve chosen to travel that path sooner because omg #nothing hits me like the fear that future me will feel the same way about right now me that right now me feels about past tense me

[notherpuppet]

Radioapple at the beach

#hazbin hotel #alastor #hazbin hotel fanart #radioapple #Apple radio #hazbin lucifer #they’re both so embarrassing

[anarchopuppy]

I, a hearing person who likes subtitles just as a preference, shouldn't have to read a subtitle that's obvious nonsense, go back a couple seconds, and listen again in order to figure out what's going on. An accessibility feature should not be the most half-assed part of a professionally made production. Scripted media has absolutely no excuse for not having subtitles or having subtitles that aren't perfectly verbatim. Professional captioning services should be ashamed of the shoddy work that they put out. Captions should be treated as a part of the production, just like filming, editing, audio balancing, etc - and anything that releases with missing or bad captions should be seen as unfinished

#the subtitle mistakes i've seen are absolutely fucking embarrassing #subtitles should make something easier to understand not harder #and i can hear just fine so i'm lucky! #i've seen the kind of mistakes that would make an entire video unintelligible to someone who doesn't have the audio for any reason #it's unacceptable

[cowardlycowboys]

girl who needs to ask for reassurance would rather be stabbed than admit they have needs

GIRL GENDER FUNNY‼️ POST MADE BY MOST FEMININE HE/THEY SHUT UP‼️

#omg kiera no one cares #admitting u have needs and stuff is so embarrassing like I'm literally an adult grow up #like I'd rather go crazy then ask if you still like being around me and love me #unfortunately that's unhealthy and i gotta work on that but until thats complete i will think about being gutted like fish instead

[charliebugz]

When Izzy first walked out I was worried that he would be made into a joke that the crew would laugh at

but then he started singing and the dancing began and I realized that he wasn’t meant to be a joke at all. This is the most open and happy we’ve ever seen Izzy and the show treated it that way. Not mocking him but instead celebrating this moment.

When we talk about queer representation it’s usually just focused on queer relationships, but what I love about this episode is it shows other sides of being queer. That moment where Izzy saw Wee John doing his makeup and had a realization that he wanted that too? That is what being queer means to me. The crew singing along and cheering for him? That is what being apart of the queer community means to me.

What i love about this show is that it shows queer joy, not in a sanitized way, but in away that is messy, beautiful, and without any mockery or shame.

#the fact i expected him to be made fun of just reflects how queer people are usually presented in media #i was preparing myself for an awkward scene full of secondhand embarrassment for izzy #but then it didn’t happen. And it just made me immediately feel so warm and fuzzy inside. #like he can express the not socially acceptable parts of himself and not be outcast for it #and that’s just so fantastical to me #our flag means death #ofmd #ofmd spoilers #our flag means death spoilers #ofmd s2e6 #izzy hands #rambling #i speak!

[throathole]

#embarrassed that my answer is so early

[wasabi-gumdrop]

local ladies man’s signature move totally useless against autistic monster enthusiast. more on Kabru’s fumble era at 6

#i’ve seen so many interpretations of that 1 hr freeze frame of Kabru’s smile in ep 16 #he’s meeting his long time crush of course he’s trying to charm him #Kabru so obviously has a big fat giant crush on Laios #like atp in the story he’s tried to talk to him and get his attention so many times agjdjajdj #Laios is the human rubix cube he’s been searching for his entire life #everyone else is almost too easy for Kabru to pin down #Laios on the other hand … a treasure trove of autistic mystery #Kabru is so locked in #Kabru used signature move: charming smile #Laios: no effect! #there’s something so beautiful about the popular pretty boy entering his fumble era when his one true love turns out to be autistic #labru #laios touden #kabru of utaya #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #wasabi rambles #seen so many clock that smile as nefarious and machiavellian #baby no Kabru is just dialing the charm up to 100 and what we’re all feeling is second hand embarrassment LMAO

[meatculture]

thinking about how this time last year i liked j*** h***

#embarrassing…. #it started in portland so don‘t @ me

[seagiri]

there's something happening in my head rn

#my art #dungeon meshi #chilchuck tims #chilchucks wife #<- embarrassing #senshi #chilshi #chilchuck sandwich #<- we're out of ideas for the ship name #eating crumbs from the ground. eating the moldy bread i left in the cupboard

[kermitspussy]

like where did it come from i was literally doing a silly little art and craft

#dropout tv #game changer #sam reich #erika ishii #me mid-apple butter stirring: i am inherently worthless and also remember that embarrassing thing i said in ninth grade history class yikes

[ajaynetic]

i know nothing of bg3 but every time i saw art of that astarion guy i always had to do a double take because he reminded me of how some ppl draw rick…

#im rick brained #i gotta make everything about him wtf #am i just crazy #embarrassing….