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standardquip · 4 months

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Esoterra

Video:Bakemonogatari, Kizumonogatari, Wolf's Rain, Haibanei Renmei (Charcoal Feathers Federation), Vision of Escaflowne, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Steins;Gate, Castlevania, Made In Abyss, Princess Mononoke, Grave of the Fireflies, Puella Magi Madoka Magica The Movie Part 3: Rebellion, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, Puella Magi Madoka Magica The Movie Part 1: Beginnings, Patema Inverted, Demon Slayer, Big Fish & Begonia, Origin: Spirits of the Past, KARAS, Children of the Sea, Btooom!, Dorohedoro, Psycho Pass, Shinmai Maou no Testament, Flip Flappers, Dragon Dentist, Girl That Leapt Through Time, Golden Kamuy, Jyu Oh Sei Planet of Beast King, Puella Magi Madoka Magica The Movie Part 2: Eternal, Nisemonogatari, Mushi-Shi, Princess Kaguya, The Perfect Insider, Your Name, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Jojo's Bizarre Adventure Audio:Aurora – Apple Tree Premiere Date:2020 Status:Downloadable, Streamable Genre(s):Other, Artistic Cons/Awards: Anime Weekend Atlanta 2020 PRO contest finalist for Artistic and Best Video A-M-V.Org 2021 VCAs: won Best artistic Agamacon 2021: won Best Artistic Endeavor Outside Links:.org, AMVnews

I got weirdly defensive about my editing abilities in 2019 so decided to make something specifically to show that I could, in fact, make a really good edit. /shrug

Started: october 2019 during AWA PRO 2019 Finished: 12 August 2020 Spent countless hours on it during that time. Started keeping actual track of hours in Jan 2020. So total project time below is heavily UNDERstated.

Time spent: 94hr 3min 10s total. (again- understated. I normally just round up to 100 lol) 72hrs 38min 10sec for Premiere CS6. 18hr 42min for after effects CS6. 2hr 43min VLC (looping betas lmao).

Finalist in AWA PRO 2020: Best artistic, best video. No Awards won.

Many thanks to all my beta testers, for the editors on discord who actually tried to explain what flow was in esoteric ways so I could maybe understand it, and their help with footage procurement (searching for certain scene compositions in anime I didn’t know). Special shoutouts to TheLazyDaze for continuous hype and feedback, SeasonsAMV who showed me The Perfect Insider, which finished a big blank spot I was struggling with, and Niotex and Dr. Derpface who convinced me to just make my own butterflies in After Effects (Previously I had tried to mask them out of a Demon Slayer scene. It was awful).

Breakdown of the baby scene: (released 26 dec 2020)

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My PC nearly died while I tried to make this, and it didn’t even render correctly in the end. I’m sorry for the glitchiness, but due to the difficulty this is likely the only thing like this I will do for Esoterra. [The gold mandala & meat pieces scenes show up later than they should, making accurate comparison pretty difficult. The other overlays seem mostly in sync. I apologize.] This is all the overlays involved for just the one part of the baby scene. The baby scene is not even the most complicated scene in the full AMV, but it is the one that is most obviously different and the one that seems to get most the positive remarks. Hope this is interesting to someone.

Breakdown of the whole thing: (released 6 Jan 2021)

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Finally a breakdown that I’m semi-okay with. It’s not as detailed as I wanted, but I think it gets enough of the message across. It’s still a bit buggy in some areas (2 different video files stitched together to get all the video tracks on screen) but it’s in sync. This timeline is actually pretty organized. Any video that’s on it is actively being used in conjunction with an opacity/layer blending mode, masks, or keying. (But 80% of the time it’s a blending mode). Any nested sequences that seem to have the same clips repeated continually are due to the same reasons. On this timeline, Green is nested, Pink is an AE project. I didn’t do pop-ups for every nested sequence or AE project because most of them weren’t anything complicated. The others were either complicated or I just wanted to show off for whatever reason. Especially the butterfly segment. I hand-made and animated the butterfly swarm. All frames are shown on the tracks for informational purposes; I don’t edit like that. Anyway, this was submitted and made finals in AWA PRO 2020, but didn’t win anything (My other video, “Dysphoria,” did win best tech in the same contest though). Esoterra was the most complicated and tech-heavy video I’ve made. Also clocking in at the longest time I’ve ever spent on a project, nearly 100 hours. Feel free to ask any questions!

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crimsonmoonscrypt · 8 months

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AN OC FUR ESOTERRA ON INSTA! CHRCK IT OUT

#kyrukatart #esoterra #my oc #flynn #character sheet #robot #Voltaire #we love him

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unluckyplanet · 2 months

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I nneed to write about my troll ocs more they're such fucked up little guys

#Note this is homestuck not trolls the movie #Though mine are like my own weird au version of alternia?#Esoterra I've deemed it #Anyway I need to write more of these messy pale relationships and weridly loving hate mates

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insearchofdeath · 11 months

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Supersonic Death Screams - An interview with Atrax Morgue ESOTERRA # 9 magazine (USA), 2001 What first attracted you to Noise? I started to be interested in experimental music in 1990, when I was 20. I was simply bored by the standard music and I needed to explore more that goes "beyond" music. The first noise band I listened to was Whitehouse and, at first, I didn't like them. Now, Whitehouse is one of my favorite bands, as well as Nurse with Wound, The Sodality, Sigillum S, Genocide Organ Organum, early Current 93, and Coil. I also knew about Cold Meat Industry, buying some of Roger Karmanik's first releases, like Memorandum's Aux Morts LP and Maschinenzimmer's 412 LP. I was hit very hard by the sounds of these bands, very obscure and harsh, and also by the quality of the packaging. At that time, I thought Cold Meat Industry was the label that completely satisfied my tastes. I wrote a congratulation letter to Karmanik and, since then, I have always had a good relationship with CMI. Brighter Death Now has influenced me very much, cause it's the very pure expression of darkness, pain, and death sounds. So in 1992, I recorded my first demo as Atrax Morgue, In Search of Death. I just tried to express my obsessions and desires through harsh electronic sounds and vocals.

Why are you fascinated with death, murder, and serial killers? I'm very obsessed with death and I think that's very clear in all of my works. My ideals and philosophy reflects that "we are constantly in a lackness"; we die and are re-born every moment. Death comes in a moment, in a moment that only faith knows. Death is the moment, the moment is death. Each breath we die, and next breath we are reborn. Each orgasm we die, and so we are reborn. Each sleep is like to die, and the awakening is to be reborn. I'm feeling always in a process, between life and death. I don't feel the passing time. The past doesn't exist; it's only an echo of noise in my mind. The future is destroyed because I live for the moment and I never see any future in front of me. My life condition is like a reflex of energy. A corpse falling into energy's power. Regarding reincarnation, yes, I believe in it, I feel the echoes of my past lives sometimes. I am interested in the pathologic and the extreme, because I think that through the extreme experience everyone can touch deepness himself. Murder is considered the most repulsive act, but it's part of nature, and nature makes the balance between good and evil, day and night. If there's light, there must be the darkness. If there's a birth, there must be a death. Serial Killers are only one of the many manifestations of evil. It's about our modern age and I think it's an interesting phenomenon. In most cases, serial killers show an attitude to sex-death fantasies, and it's just this dangerous mixture of sex and death, to become an obsession, the drive to kill. Kill to satisfy an obsession. I understand these guys. And I haven't shame to talk about it. I myself see death as a beautiful woman. Isn't that an attraction to be destroyed by the object of desire? Those who see beauty as death have seen their killing reflection in a mirror. I haven't any favorite serial killer or murderer. These creatures are only sad testimonials of the human condition.

Have you ever murdered anyone? If I had killed someone, I'll never talk about it to you, don't you think? With my mind I have murdered thousand of humans, and I'm sure that every person has had fantasies of murder at least one time in their lives. It is normal, I think. When I love, I give total love. When I hate, I give total hate. I have fantasies of murder when I see a beautiful woman. It's the same circle of connections between beauty and death. I have not experienced necrophilia but I find it very fascinating. In 1997, I made a short movie regarding this subject. It is called Cockskull Fantasy and it featured about fifteen minutes of masturbation with a plastic skull. The interesting thing about necrophilia is that you can love expecting nothing in return, just pure love. I think it's the highest expression of love, because it goes beyond, in any case. Like pornography, subjects are transformed into objects, in which register a cold, pathologic calligraphy.

Why do you feel so alienated? Alienation is just a rule for me. I have learned to survive with my alienation. But alienated by what? By people? By myself? I hate people, cause I hate myself. I despise people, cause I despise myself. I see the horror through others because I am the horror. It's all a reflection, a deformed mirror. I love people. I really love them. They are so kind, so loving. I love you all. I love myself. I am in love with myself. I am pure contradiction. The point between black and white. I believe in nothing, nothingness. I believe in the next moment. Now, passed. The next… I believe in my corpse, that is my own God. The only thing is to overcome myself, always, and make myself into a masterpiece again and again.

Have you collaborated with any other Noise bands? Yes, I did a collaboration with the Italian experimental Noise band Lunus, under the name Necrofilia. We did just a tape, nothing more. I also had a project with a friend of mine called Progetto Morte, in which I did the electronics and my friend the spoken words. We released two tapes. As Atrax Morgue, I have not collaborated with anyone. It is a strictly personal project. Atrax Morgue is only me, and I'm alone.

Tell me about your Murders fanzine. I released three issues of Murders in 1990. This self-printed magazine was the first step I did and the creation of Slaughter Productions. It was written in Italian and it featured articles about serial killers, necrophilia, extreme sex, and pathology. It also featured a review section about extreme Industrial music.

What equipment do you use? I use an analog synthesizer, a microphone connected with a multi-effect, tape decks and a mixer. Just that. As you can see it's really cheap equipment, but I think the most important thing you must use doing music is your mind.

How do your family and friends feel about your music? I don't have any sort of relationship with my family regarding my work and I don't care to explain what I do with my "music". I have good relationships with some friends, but this is always beyond my music. Atrax Morgue is simply a reflection of myself. My friends are very respectful with me about what I do.

Are you heterosexual or homosexual? I am sexless. I'm feeling between male and female. I am beyond sex. I am enchanted by female beauty because it's possessed with a sort of perverse power and attraction. My love for female beauty is so high that sometimes I feel like changing into a woman just to become my own object of desire. It's the other side of my nature. The metamorphosis is another little death, because I left the old skin, to become a new born creature.

What kind of reaction did you get when you first started performing in Italy? Not a very good reaction. I performed three times in Italy and the audience was bored and they had not a bit of an idea of what I was doing.

What is Italian society like? I don't know. I'm feeling not Italian and don't give a fuck about Italy. You can change any place in the world but you can't change your mind and your interior life. I've always felt outside of society, living in my closed, aseptic world. A world I've created specially for myself. I love to travel, but I'm always feeling the same sensation any place I go-- like a visitor from an outer space.

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#atrax morgue #marco corbelli #industrial #My love for female beauty is so high that sometimes I feel like changing into a woman just to become my own object of desire.#It's the other side of my nature. The metamorphosis is another little death #because I left the old skin #to become a new born creature.#long post

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esoterra01 · 13 days

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EsoTerra honors the tradition of collaborative agriculture by blending locally sourced fruit to create a cider that is as unique as our community. Slowly fermenting into a tart, tannic masterpiece, each batch boasts a well-balanced flavor profile that celebrates the abundance of our region. Year after year, our community comes together to gather apples from their backyards, parks, and feral trees with two noble goals in mind: to craft a stunning cider and to deter mischievous bears from indulging in the fallen fruit.

So join us in raising a glass to the fruitful bounty of collaborative agriculture!

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annevandillen · 1 year

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insta promo voor Esoterra students benefiet massage

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lharmonieprecieuse · 2 years

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✨ Aujourd’hui je vous propose de découvrir la Lampe De Sel D’Himalaya 🧡 Cette Lampe au sel d’Himalaya contribue à purifier l’air dans une pièce. 🐡 Les cristaux de sel associés à la source de lumière produisent des ions négatifs qui neutralisent les ions positifs de l’air transportés par les moisissures, les allergènes et les bactéries 🐚 Sa lumière est très douce et apaisante, ainsi vous pouvez l’utiliser en veilleuse ou même en lumière douce pour un peut de lecture avant de vous endormir... 🦋 Provenance: PAKISTAN Fabrication artisanale Marque : ESOTERRA 🌺 Hauteur 20cm / Poids entre 1 et 2 Kg. (ampoule, kit électrique norme CE et socle en bois) 🏷 Prix : 18€ #lampedesel #lampedeseldelhymalaya #ambiancezen #maisonsaine #veilleuse #creationsfaitmain #ete2022 #bijouxdeplage #bijouxboheme #braceletlithothérapie #lithotherapie # #bijouxcreateur #bijouxfaitmain #bijouxfemme #bijoux #creatricefrançaise #creatricefrancaise #creatrice #creatricedebijoux #yogafrance #yogafrance🇫🇷 #artisanat #artisanatlocal #braceletpierresnaturelles #braceletfemme #medecinedouce #chakra https://www.instagram.com/p/CfrUYdcIL_H/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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truthshield · 2 years

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West Slope Startup Week Line-up Announced Pagosa Daily Post News Events & Video for Pagosa Springs Colorado

West Slope Startup Week has announced its 2022 event line up with more than 45 virtual and in-person educational and networking events happening July 11-15. Programming is available to participants throughout rural Colorado with in-person events happening in Grand Junction, Durango, Steamboat Springs, Vail, and beyond. Participation is completely free for entrepreneurs, small business owners, and creatives interested in attending, thanks to support from regional sponsors. Virtual Workshops for Entrepreneurs July 11-15 Virtual participants will be able to engage with West Slope Startup Week all five days of the event this year with virtual-only and live streaming content offered Monday, July 11 through Friday, July 15. Sessions will be offered in a variety of categories including; Capital, Communications, Makers, People, Tech, and more. Participants can learn directly from other experienced regional entrepreneurs and small business owners. Interested persons should visit WestSlopeStartupWeek.com to learn more and register for online events. In-Person Events in Grand Junction July 12-15 Pack your bags and head to Grand Junction for four days of in-person programming including the Greater Colorado Pitch Series and more than 20 educational workshops and networking events. This year’s Keynote Presentation will be given by west slope entrepreneur, Kerry Siggins, the CEO of StoneAge Tools, host of multiple podcasts, and thought leader in the space of entrepreneurship. Interested persons should visit WestSlopeStartupWeek.com to learn more and register for online and in-person events. Hometown Events in Durango, Steamboat Springs, and Silverthorne West Slope Startup Week organizers are hosting Hometown Events in several communities across Colorado including Durango, Steamboat Springs, and Silverthorne. Durango is hosting a fireside chat with regional entrepreneur, Erin Neer, on Wednesday June 22 4:30-6:00pm at the EsoTerra Outdoorsy Outpost. Steamboat Springs is hosting a discussion about the evolving workforce in Colorado mountain towns on Wednesday June 29 6:30-8pm at The Ski Locker. More Hometown Event details can be found at WestSlopeStartupWeek.com. West Slope Startup Week is a free event for participants, thanks to contributions from regional sponsors including Startup Colorado, SCAPE (Southwest Colorado Accelerator Program for Entrepreneurs), Greater Colorado Venture Fund, Aspen Technology Group, Downtown Grand Junction, Greenline Ventures, Grand Junction Economic Partnership, Mindsprings Health, Cloudrise, Alpine Bank, Routt County Economic Development Partnership, and Four Points Funding. Companies interested in sponsoring West Slope Startup Week should email [email protected]. West Slope Startup Week is a volunteer-run event curated by rural Colorado entrepreneurs for the startup community. The first West Slope Startup Week was held in Grand Junction, Colorado in 2019. Annual events have subsequently drawn 500+ regional entrepreneurs to both virtual and in-person educational and networking events. West Slope Startup Week also includes the Greater Colorado Pitch Series, which offers regional founders an opportunity to pitch their blossoming business ideas in front of a group of qualified investors and support organizations. To learn more about West Slope Startup Week visit westslopestartupweek.com. Post Contributor The Pagosa Daily Post welcomes submissions, photos, letters and videos from people who love Pagosa Springs, Colorado. Call 970-903-2673 or email [email protected] https://ift.tt/aZhUgyR https://ift.tt/etTDwkO

#Saas #softwaresystems #productdevelopment #software #practice #optimization #accuracy #efficiency #productivity #softwareprojects #cracksthecode

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rudyscuriocabinet · 5 years

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[Literature] A Mason & Dixon Christmastide (Thomas Pynchon) — Biblioklept

They discharge the Hands and leave off for the Winter. At Christmastide, the Tavern down the Road from Harlands’ opens its doors, and soon ev’ryone has come inside. Candles beam ev’rywhere. The Surveyors, knowing this year they’ll soon again be heading off in different Directions into America, stand nodding at each other across a Punch-bowl […]

via A Mason & Dixon Christmastide (Thomas Pynchon) —…

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#Biblioklept #Christmas #Esoterra #Literature #Thomas Pynchon

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waricwillowwitch · 3 years

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Hullo all!!

EsoTerra was an idea created to be a warm welcoming home for all wayward souls. We hope that you meet new people and gain more knowledge than when you entered. We have a discord community to join for those who want to be around like minded people. We have a wiki that is updated by our mods for information to share. The access is only obtainable through joining the discord. We currently are looking for new staff.

https://discord.gg/DcS3ryCyzE

Please join us if you so wish!!

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read-strelka · 6 years

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Bioslave – Way Back Home (Esoterra Remix)

#Bioslave #electronic #Esoterra #remix #Way Back Home

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standardquip · 3 months

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Dysphoria

A video representation of my experience with dysphoria. Made in 2020.

Video:Bakemonogatari, Kizumonogatari, Vision of Escaflowne, Escaflowne (movie), Revolutionary Girl Utena (movie), Neon Genesis Evangelion, Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion, Devil May Cry (anime), Fullmetal Alchemist, Noragami, Steins;Gate, Blue Exorcist, Guilty Crown, K (TV), Death Note, Death Parade, Akira (movie), Demon Slayer, KARAS, Children of the Sea, Dorohedoro, Psycho Pass, Nisemonogatari, Your Name, Paprika, Perfect Blue, Le Portrait de Petit Cossette, Weathering With You, 5 Centimeters per Second, Charlotte, Attack on Titan, Black Clover, Bleach, Erased, Darwin's Game, Deadman Wonderland, Drifters, Fate Stay Night Unlimited Blade Works, Free!, Sunday Without God, Blood Blockade Battlefront, My Hero Academia, Owari no Seraph, Chivalry of a Failed Knight, Re: Zero, Rozen Maiden, Strike The Blood Third, Sword Art Online, The Rising of the Shield Hero, Macross Frontier Audio:JT Bruce – Hypnic Jerk Premiere Date:2020 Status:Downloadable, Streamable Genre(s):Horror, LGBT+, Other, Artistic Cons/Awards: Anime Weekend Atlanta 2020 PRO Contest: won “Best Technical”, finalist in “Artistic” Agamacon 2021 – Honorable mention “Endless Nightmare” YoumaCon 2021 – “Now in Technicolor!” Award Outside Links:.org

Dysphoria AKA Skeptic’s Hypothesis AKA Multicultural Panic Attack

Started: 12 dec 2019 Finished: 11 aug 2020 Work time: 47hr 58min in premiere 26hr 16min After Effects

General Comments I started out wanting to make a weird/creepy glitch video. But as I started making it it became something way more personal.

The part where I over-explain everything

I joined AWA PRO in 2019 with a video that was completely forgettable (Exposure). I came away from that feeling very weirdly defensive of my editing skills so I set out to make something to prove I could edit. That was the AMV Esoterra, which was largely a shallow, showy piece. Aside from the technicals, it’s also just a type of video I don’t generally make because nostalgia/vibe things don’t interest me much.

While that video was coming along I got the urge to do something edgy, and I have always wanted to do text and glitch effects in a video. I’ve had a love affair with JT Bruce’s “Hypnic Jerk” for several years so worked on cutting it down to something usable (the track is ~10 minutes long). Once that was done I set it aside to make after Esoterra was done, to make sure I finished it before the pro deadline. I didn’t intend to finish Dysphoria for PRO, but I figured if I finished it in time (a big IF) I would submit it in addition to Esoterra.

Once I started on Dysphoria, the time went by so quick. I wanted something that would separate the viewer from reality and just focusing on the song would have been enough. But I got this idea to attach it to something real. And eventually decided to roll with it. It’s weird, because when you look at these 2 videos (Esoterra and Dysphoria) You’d probably think Dysphoria was the gimmicky one, but it’s much closer to my brain than Esoterra is.

I’m not super open about it, but I’m transgender. I also have clinical/major Depression. I wanted Dysphoria to be about the fight you have in your head with yourself on whether or not you want to change, or if what you’re dreaming is really something you want.

During my time in the Navy (2009 – 2012) I was constantly fighting with myself on what I wanted more– transition or to stay in the navy? DADT was repealed shortly after I enlisted, but trans people were still largely unknown and had to be closeted. This video helped me work through some of that, I think. I had a pretty good idea I was trans when I joined, but I wasn’t sure until after boot camp. And once I went on my first deployment things sort of snowballed, and I was constantly weighing the pros and cons of staying in or getting out to transition (Obama’s trans inclusion thing didn’t happen to shortly after I was discharged).

I wanted this video to be relatable to anyone imagining what a mental crisis was like. It was very important to me that it was still “gender dysphoria” but it didn’t beat you over the head with it. I wanted it to be subtle. Something that maybe trans people would get but cis people could still appreciate without feeling like the vid has a specific message. Gender dysphoria can be fairly insiduous. I don’t think many people realize how much it can affect things. It is also easily attributable to other factors, so can be very hard to identify as an issue if you aren’t already 100% sure you’re trans. I guess this video is just relaying feelings, and the general steps/phases/stages you try to work through during a mental crisis or psychological break.

For the text, I watched a lot of AMVs with text in them and I learned that text seemed to work better when you weren’t concerned with reading it. So I made the text hard to read and I used it more as an artistic framing device. Any time the character was feeling the text, I tried to put the text on the character, especially over their face. There are two “worlds” in this vid, one being reality (which is almost always starring a female character), and one being the dream/fantasy. Reality is dim, has washed out colors and hard to read text. Fantasy has easier to read text but it’s usually in another language. It’s also way more raw and emotional, and not the lyrics of the song/track.

And, as especially the case for the first minute, I started out the text being fairly legible but then got more screwed up and harder to read as time progressed. Because in the beginning you think you’ve got things figured out, but the more you think about stuff, the harder it becomes to decide, and the more frustrated you get. Especially true for ~0:28 – 0:34ish, screwing with the text in such a way to be artistic but also to purposefully frustrate you that you cannot read it.

Which introduced an ongoing problem into my video: How do you make things specifically frustrating (especially the later glitches) without it being so frustrating that the video is no longer “good”? That was an ongoing conversation I had with at least 3 different beta testers. Much more about the glitches than the text, because I had very specific visions for the text. In the end, I think I figured it out okay so there is a good balance between “messy” and “not done well”. But that took several tries to get right.

People suffering with mental crises generally feel alone. So I wanted the characters in reality to be relatable but have a barrier between them and the viewer. That being the text, blurs, VHS overlays, etc. I especially tried to pick scenes where the real characters were not looking right at you.

Dream world is brighter, vibrant, hopeful. The characters you see yourself as (the boys) are looking at you, and they’re for the most part cool, badass characters.

The glitches were predominantly hand-made using the very scenes they’re on top of. I did have some presets, but I’d say 80% – 90% of glitches were made from scratch. The presets mostly got used during the elevator scene around 2:13 – 2:17and 2:31 – 2:35. The only other help I had making this were VHS overlays which got peppered in throughout the video.

Despite Esoterra taking more time, I’d consider Dysphoria to be much more technical and difficult to edit. In Esoterra I was playing with, and learning about, flow, composition, and overlays. The time it took to effectively learn and apply those things was immediately used in Dysphoria which surprisingly has a lot of the same core concepts, just utilized differently. Despite them being nearly ideological opposites, I don’t think I would’ve been able to make Dysphoria as good as it is without having the experience of making Esoterra first.

Scene selection was incredibly intentional for every single part, and caused a lot of headache at times due to not finding what I wanted. Because my specific theme was gender dysphoria (and even more specifically, female to male) girls only show up at specific times: – the real world – the very first time the character goes into the dream world “at first it is a plunge into hyper reality” – when the character is actively fighting with themself (the yes / no sections) – after an implied suicide attempt at 1:32, when dream/fantasy start become one.

In the “Yes / no” parts of the video, the boy is always yes, and the girl is always no. That is specific to gender dysphoria, and to FTMs. When you visualize yourself? Is it as a girl or a boy? It was always a boy. But some trans people (myself included) will go through phases where they dream as their real-world (non-transitioned) self. For me, I went through a long period of denial, so would try to force being ok with myself, even though it brought me pain.

So all the scenes with girls in them are painful. The scenes of boys start out cool and confident, but then become trapped and locked away. They get angry and kill the girl around 1:20, which then results in the mental breakdown that follows. The suicide attempt, the male self saving the female self, the overall anger and confusion, and the “crisis” part of the video. The crisis is: Now you know you have to do something. Will you finally accept this part of yourself? Will you finally transition? The overlays at 1:53 signify the decision. Glass breaking, hands parting, and scissors cutting an umbilical cord.

The next section is “Help”. The character finally recognizes that they need help, because they are finally accepting that there is a problem. But just because you recognize there’s a problem doesn’t mean you’re any good at solving it. Therein goes the brief period of survival in the dream with the super clear picture of the man saving the woman. It works in two ways, one at surface gender dysphoria level because it’s a dude being cool, the secondary being that the masculine side is saving the feminine side. “Hey. You don’t have to die. You’re still a part of me. You might be transitioning to male but that doesn’t mean my feminine side disappears.”

The elevator section of the video was one of the first sections I edited, and so it is predominantly just a glitch fest as a way to transition from living in escapism to getting back to reality. It ends at the scene of the girl in bed. For me this symbolizes depression more than anything else. You know you need help, you are constantly thinking about how to get it, but sometimes you just can’t fucking do anything. So we have that scene and then shinji (the boy) appears as a reflection beneath. The video ends with shinji waking up in the hospital and the question “Are you awake?” It’s a throwback to the original video’s premise of a skeptic’s hypothesis… Can never know if you’re dreaming or not. But also a sort of ambiguous ending of never knowing if the character got the help they needed or not. Are they still living in their dream of being a boy? Or did they actually transition and this is reality now?

¯_(ツ)_/¯

So anyway that’s my over-explanation of this video. I put it off for so long, partly because I don’t like revealing this part of myself, and partly because I don’t think it’s right to force my interpretation/message on anyone. But overall decided the pros in putting this essay out there outweighed the cons.

Since I finished this video in August 2019, released it publicly in December, and only now just wrote this explanation at the end of February the following year, I forgot a lot of things maybe I wanted to touch on in between that time. But this is long enough as it is. If you have any questions, feel free to hit me up I guess. Contact info in my profile.

Some things I want to point out just because As mentioned previously, all scene selection was super intentional. But a lot of it goes by so fast and seems kind of random so here’s some things I want to bring attention to lol.

0:02 – there’s an overlay here of more rain (dropping on the camera) and also some faint glowing eyes. I wanted to bring some paranoia into this video but this is the only part that panned out.

Beginning to 0:21 – Your Name was amazing to work with because it had the perfect amount of scenes of girls looking at boys and being sad about it. This establishes the character’s life up to this point as being unhappy with who she is. The scene of her staring in the mirror at the boy and then crying really sets up the whole gender dysphoria framing device without being obvious about it.

0:24 – anthy is a fragmented, bare, vulnerable individual with a trapped and tortured boy prince inside :)

1:20 – metaphor for self injury. Also foreshadowing of some other chest-based scenes. 1:23 – the result of the previous scene. This was the best anime representation I could find for ftm chest surgery. Obviously the scar is all wrong but it was the only chest scar scene I could find that looked kind of believable for what I was going for.

1:24 – 1:32 I synced the tracking dot to the beat lol. Also the text on the bed moves when she lays down on it.

1:57 – 1:59 is all scenes with barriers because the characters are all trapped. The last scene is a first person shot of looking down at boobs, which in context of all the suffering scenes leaning up to it are meant to imply that boobs are bad. Character has massive chest-related dysphoria. It’s a quick callback to the other 2 chest scenes.

2:01 – 2:05 is dilandau!! From Vision of Escaflowne. I won’t explain the scene because it’s a huge spoiler but if you know the anime/character you’ll know why I used it here. :)

Note: the (uncredited) live action footage is a recording of myself.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Many thanks to my beta testers and our discussions about the intricacies of glitches: Ash, Dr. Derpface, TheLazyDaze

Thank you to Synaethesia for helping me with the VHS overlays.

Thank you to Kriegher for the help with including Hindi as a language.

I also must mention ProstrateConstantly/ZaneWins, whose DESTRUCT vid and making of vid heavily inspired me to make my own glitch vid. And to CrackTheSky’s blog for mentioning DESTRUCT, as I otherwise never would’ve seen it. D E S T R U C T: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=878jSaMBtxw Making of DESTRUCT: CTS’s blog: https://crakthesky.wordpress.com/

Original track of JT Bruce – Hypnic Jerk: https://www.jamendo.com/track/24044/hypnic-jerk?language=en https://open.spotify.com/track/0e3aRWcOl7XqYNWP1ss5AO

I did a large amount of work to the song to make it work- here’s a screencap of my Premiere timeline for the song:

In (approximately) September 2021, JT Bruce commented on the youtube video!

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centerforhavening · 4 years

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Happy Anniversary to Yoon Lee on being a Certified Havening Techniques Practitioner. 🎈 Dr. Yoon Lee, L.Ac., DACM, Certified Havening Practitioner Yoon is an acupuncturist specializing in psychosomatic disorders, and mental wellness. In her practice, she regulates the body-mind system for balance, prevention, treating pain, and illnesses using Constitutional Assessment. She offers individualized treatment plans, diet modifications, and lifestyle adjustments. Since becoming a Certified Havening Practitioner, she has combined Havening to help patients with a wide range of emotional and mental conditions. She found Havening to be a complementary and effective method in helping her patients as it can target specific memory centers that hold the original trauma and its associated content. In practicing Havening, Yoon has come to realize that it is such a powerful tool of not only releasing these emotions, but also exploring one’s internal landscape, or the subconscious. Havening allows a person to explore the trauma held in the body and then uses the power of imagination and creativity to release them through symbols and images. It works permanently to remove long-held belief systems, offering insights into oneself, to re-pattern ways of thinking and being that is optimal for one’s health. Practice: Esoterra Wellness Center: 19 West 45th St. Suite 501 / New York, NY 10036 Areas of specialization: Anger management, Anxiety, Childbirth, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Depression, Eating disorders, Exam nerves, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Low self-confidence, Low self-esteem, Obsessions and compulsions, Pain management, Post-traumatic stress disorder, Relationship issues, Relaxation, Insomnia, Stress, Weight loss, Adolescents, Grief, medically diagnosed illnesses and disease, Self-Belief, Self-Development, Shyness, Belief Creation, Confidence, Empowerment, Weight, Bereavement #havening #haveningtechniques®️ https://havening.org/directory/grid/view/details/14/763-Yoon-Lee https://www.instagram.com/p/CFVbvy9l7s6/?igshid=rx3voncubg84

#havening #haveningtechniques®️

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unluckyplanet · 9 months

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I hhave given up on making my homestuck ocs have a Sburb session (for now at least)

I am now simply chucking the humans on an alien planet and watching the chaos ensue like they're Sims.... That I have to write, but y'know

#My ocs #Never gonna talk about them again but sure let's start that tag.#Also wanna ramble about my troll planet #I finally named it! Esoterra #It was getting a bit too skewed to really be alternia anyway sooooo

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wildanimamusicwebsite · 4 years

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BIO

Wild Anima is the wild soul, the raw state of nature sleeping inside all of us. The intimate part of our living essence.

“[…] Like Enya on a Julianna Barwick trip, Wild Anima fills the air with magic, and soft light seems to permeate the woods even in the middle of the night.[…]“ - Cassette Gods

Wild Anima (Alex Alexopoulos) is a French-Greek Paris born, Berlin based sound artist and live performer. Her work explores various dimensions of intimacy in the relationship of the human psyche and nature framed by the layerings of her ethereal vocals and earthy electronica. Through a wide array of experimental vernaculars, Wild Anima creates a very sensual, visceral and avant/art sound.

In her approach Wild Anima seeks to bind the emotional and spiritual processes as a means of healing, utilising the ecological framework. She has recently released a concept album as well as a musical short film developed at the Fish Factory of Stöðvarfjörður, Iceland and is the result of an ongoing project that explores the field of ecology of emotions; ie. how our mental health reflects in the state of the environment.

The various sources of her influences and inspirations can be found in sonorities such as the byzantine harmonies of her Greek origins, the polyrhythms and polyphonies of the Mbira music of Zimbabwe or in the British experimental electronica of the early 2000’s that she drew inspiration from living in Bristol, UK and exploring its thriving underground music scene during most of her twenties, between the years 2008 and 2014.

Wild Anima’s releases for British cassette label Blue Tapes won praise from the likes of NTS Radio and The Quietus, who compared her stark, voice-only Songs From Above release (Blue Twenty-Two: Wild Anima) to Carlo Gesualdo, William Basinski, Keiji Haino’s Nijiumu, The KLF’s Chill Out, Pandit Pran Nath and even Enya!

Words: Lukasz Polowczyk / David McNamee

FEATURES PRESS & RADIO

LATEST

15 Questions about healing with music: https://15questions.net/interview/wild-anima-about-mantras-healing-heart-oscillator/page-1/

GENERAL

15 QUESTIONS INTERVIEW : https://15questions.net/interview/fif...

11+3 INTERVIEW - DIGITAL IN BERLIN http://www.11plus3.de/wild-anima/

4SEE MAG https://4seemagazin.com/en/spotlight-on-wild-anima/

2021

HIDDEN EDEN (musical short film)

NINU NINA https://www.ninunina.com/blog/2021/2/19/hidden-eden

SONOFMARKETING - HARLOT https://www.sonofmarketing.com/2021/03/02/video-premiere-lush-agave-arlot/

SONOFMARKETING - MY EARTH IS BEATING https://www.sonofmarketing.com/2021/03/10/video-wild-anima-my-earth-is-breathing/

SNOW TELETAHY (ep)

https://pleiadesounds.com/post/643366054148587520/wildanima

2020

ALKHEMY (concept album)

NINU NINA https://www.ninunina.com/blog/2020/6/9/wild-anima-presents-alkhemy

SONOFMARKETING https://sonofmarketing.com/2020/06/19/streaming-premiere-wild-anima-esoterra/

SOUNDS GOOD WEBZINE https://www.soundsgoodwebzine.com/wild-anima-forgive/

BEATRADAR https://www.beatradar.com/2020/07/diversity-at-the-beach-lounge/

BOULIMIQUE DE MUSIQUE

“An instrumental composition of the Ambient-experimental type. This structure with both organic and synthetic sounds has a psychedelic side that is totally bewitching, even for the uninitiated of exploratory music. Let yourself be swept away by the softness of these carefully crafted layers of sound.” - Boulimique de musique

2018

KEXP

Featured on Sharlese Metcalf’s Expansion show.

https://www.kexp.org/shows/Expansions/

FISH FACTORY ARTIST RESIDENCY, ICELAND

https://inhere.is/2018/06/wild-anima-alex/

MUSICMAKERS HACKLAB, CTM FESTIVAL

SWARM ANIMISM

https://sarahmartinus.com/swarmanimism

https://archive2013-2020.ctm-festival.de/archive/festival-editions/ctm-2018-turmoil/transfer/musicmakers-hacklab/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xb-ERRfqrfk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tv48dC48UvE

2017

LIVE IN ORLANDO WITH AMI DANG & LUSH AGAVE, FLORIDA

ORLANDO WEEKLY

https://www.orlandoweekly.com/Blogs/archives/2017/09/20/ami-dang-wild-anima-conjure-worlds-of-adventurous-sound-at-stardust-this-friday

2016

BLUE TWENTY-TWO

NTS LONDON Do! You! Breakfast show https://www.mixcloud.com/NTSRadio/the-do-you-breakfast-show-w-jack-rollo-wild-anima-live-9th-august-2016/

Don’t trip https://www.nts.live/artists/35382-wild-anima

LIVE AT CAFE OTO

https://www.cafeoto.co.uk/artists/wild-anima/

https://www.cafeoto.co.uk/events/blue-tapes-and-x-ray-records-present-trupa-trupa/

SPOOL’S OUT - THE QUIETUS Tristan Bath https://thequietus.com/articles/20949-tape-cassette-review-blue-tapes-bokeh-versi

TABS OUT http://www.tabsout.com/?p=14013

WE NEED NO SWORDS https://weneednoswords.wordpress.com/about/

COLLECTIVE ZINE https://www.collective-zine.co.uk/reviews/?id=10589

ATTN MAGAZINE https://www.attnmagazine.co.uk/music/10795

TINY MIXTAPES https://www.tinymixtapes.com/

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