#even tho there are more opportune times

[bennydwight]

Stan doesn’t ask questions, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t got any

#gravity falls #gf #steven universe #su #stan pines #stan #steven #two kids and their cars #art #comic #background intolerant #didnt mean to make stan look so sus #i think i post these so late because i like to wake up to notes #even tho there are more opportune times

[riverofrainbows]

Lately I'm hearing a lot about PDA and autism (PDA = pathological demand avoidance) and it's very good that people become more aware of it and are able to learn more about their own needs. However i often see it framed as like a type of autism, as in PDA autism that's just this thing that happens randomly.

But it isn't just a flavour of autism or something that comes from who-knows-what, it's a trauma response. To having forced yourself to do so much shit that goes against your needs, to feeling like you have to/having to force yourself to do things that go over your capacity, that disregard your needs and do harm to you. Including things where people don't even know their own needs and can't communicate them.

It's a trauma response caused by a lack of autonomy and accommodations (from yourself for whatever reason and your environment). To the point where having to do anything, hearing any demand causes this message of doom to your nervous system

And there is a very simple but not easy solution to it, with the potential of even a cure: Do not force yourself to do anything until your nervous system has healed. Now this is very hard to be able to do, which is the difficult part, because most of us aren't in an environment where we can do that, often have to work etc to survive and don't have people support us for a few years while we do not acquiesce to any demand. Additionally, many of us don't even know how to honor our needs because we trampled all over them for years, were forced to mask them and might not even know what they are or how to recognise them in ourselves.

A possible way to at least some healing of our nervous system is getting to know our needs and working on meeting them better, to try and build down the mask and only conciously use it where necessary but for example not at home or in a safe space, and try to have as many safe spaces to unmask as possible. You might only be able to start while completely alone but even that helps. Another point is decomposition time, soup time as i call it. Where we take however much time we have available, preferably at least a couple days, whenever we can, and do not force ourselves to do anything, even hobbies or getting out of pyjamas, except staying alive, and just drift like driftwood. This also massively helps with autistic burnout.

One additional tipp to recognising our suppressed needs and wants is that when you think "Oh i want this" but immediately shut yourself down: try to recognise this happening and ask yourself "Why can't i do this?" and if you don't have a good reason why not, try doing the thing you want. Might be something as simple as a juice packet or be some leftover rule from childhood. Similar for "I don't look forward to that": if you don't have a reason why you have to do it, and do it exactly this way, consider not doing it. For example you don't have to go to an outing you are very uncomfortable at. You don't have to do the dishes a certain way even tho it's awful sensory wise. Try finding those small impulses and listening to them. It gets easier over time.

This PDA trauma response is also one of the factors of executive dysfunction. Especially for things like when we can't even do our own hobbies or plans we had that we enjoy. Other reasons for executive dysfunction are difficulty transition tasks, sensory issues that make us avoid a task, pending decisions related to the tasks, unknown elements of a task, or not wanting to interrupt the current activity such as listening to music or watching a show (especially since these are big tools for escapism and distraction/coping to keep emotional distress at bay or otherwise aid in emotional regulation).

Btw this whole essay is built on my own experiences, i am not a psychologist or professionally qualified in some other way. So do take this with some critical thinking as my sources are "it's in my head" and we should never take (mental) health advice on the internet without thinking about whether it makes sense and applies to us, and do additional research if any questions or doubts or further thoughts come up.

#own post #if i need to go to the toilet or get a glass of water but i don't want to do it if i have to stop my show then i will just take it with me #even if i watch it on the laptop and not my phone i will just haul the laptop to the bathroom for two minutes #can highly recommend #i have had this issue with forcing myself to do things made so much more poignant because i also became physically disabled but would force #myslef to push through it and hide it from ny surroundings as well. it made me quickly realise my limits tho #and i had the opportunity to not fulfill many demands thanks to my parents and the free time of semester breaks #and unmasking at about the same time #so this whole post speaks from personal experience

[bestialitybestiary]

I've just realized they did that to Peter two times! They made him guilty of what he's done when he wasn't in his right mind/conscious of his actions. But Jackson was clearly a victim, hm?

#I'm not salty #More like a little disappointed #Like #I think they (the characters) treat him like this because he's not stupid #He won't let anyone see his weaknesses so they don't see him as a real person #In a way #In s1 this lack of trust and empathy was perfectly justified #Those were scared kids and this mean guy was scaring and hurting them #and was much more in the know than them #So even tho I can see his reasoning I don't have a problem with him being a villain #But s4? #Nah #They actually made him work with Kate so we would also stop trusting him #Because it never was about morals #It was about trust #They were only waiting for the opportunity to get rid of Peter because they didn't trust him AND he was smart #Even tho he helped them so many times #Damn my bias is showing XD #teen wolf #peter hale

[skitskatdacat63]

I know it would literally never happen, but whenever the speculation of who the next James Bond will be comes up, I can only think about how I would sell my soul to get a butch lesbian James Bond 😣

#cause people are always arguing against having a female 007 bcs it would change too much #okay so why not just swap her gender and change nothing else 😌 #i realized when writing this post tho that my one oc is literally my concept for a lesbian james bond 😭 #butch lesbian womanizer who wears suits all the time and smokes/drinks too much and loves money and weapons #i think about this every once in a while and i want it so badly but it will literally never happen #please she would be so masc and cool and sexy #i dont know if i necessary like the idea of making a new chara to be 007 #but like....female James Bond but nothing else changes 👀 #im trying to fall asleep and i can only envision various scenes from casino royale but w my version of james bond #pls she could be jamie bond!!! #sorry this is completely random and probably nonsensical but it haunts me so often #every time i rewatch casino royale im like man...espionage movies are cool! and then start fantasizing about female james bond #the names bond. jamie bond. #maybe i will draw it sometime #just not sure how id design her bcs as i said my brain cant help but be a bit stuck on my oc that fits pretty well #but seriously. they wouldnt even have to change anything! #like they have all the jokey pun names for women...guess what. even more opportunities #but like gahhhhhh i think about a masc woman in the bond movies ive watched and im like wow i would enjoy this movie substantially more! #like the shower scene in casino royale........ #i cant even rly bring myself to watch bond movies older than the daniel craig ones bcs the objectification and misogyny bothers me too much #but imagining a masc woman in their place 👀 i am on board! #imagining her with bond girls 😳😳😳😳😳 #sorry again: super random but it is late please forgive me #catie.rambling.txt

[yardsards]

so i've seen the idea that hunter, due to something about grimwalker anatomy/creation, would start to have issues with his physical health after being disconnected from the ambient magic of the isles (like how luz's glyphs don't work in the human realm), which is a cool source of angst or hurt/comfort

but if i may add some fluff/extra comfort to that concept:

(some background first)

1: witches have their own stores of magic bc of their bile sacks, like how lilith could cast spells in the human realm. (i personally imagine their bodies can generate their own magic for a while even after not absorbing any of the ambient magic of the isles. but after TOO LONG (specific time length depends on the individual witch + how much bile they use every day but i wanna say a couple months on average maybe?) their body kinda stops being able to produce bile; it's like vitamin deficiency preventing your body from regenerating but instead of vitamins, it's titan magic)

2: things like galderstones and palismen/palistrom wood (which hunter is made of) kinda like, connect to and channel the magic of whatever witch wields them. and this generally only happens when the witch is physically holding said items

what i am getting at, with these two things in mind:

-hunter would need to absorb/connect to the magic of his witch friends ("witch" as in species, in this case), as a temporary replacement for magic from the isles/titan, at least until they can get back home

-the way for this connection to happen is by physical contact

SO BASICALLY: hunter, while stuck in the human realm, needs to be held (or otherwise be given physical contact) quite often, for his physical wellbeing

#eliot posts #toh #the owl house #hunter #hunter toh #hunter deamonne #he mostly gets this from willow and gus bc he is closest with them but also bc they are naturally powerful witches #willow takes the opportunity to hold him whenever she can #gus tends to hold his hand or snuggle against his side #if willow and gus are unavailable for too long then amity will take over hunter duty #she'll complain melodramatically but she doesn't actually mind bc he is her friend. it's just that i think she'd treat him like her sibling #they mostly just lean against one another #i think she does it less than willow and gus not just bc she and hunter aren't as close but also bc her magic is less powerful than theirs #it's kinda funny that she's the least powerful of the trio. like her abilities are more from carefully honed skill than natural power #also luz doesn't want to be left out and insists on hugging the sad boy anyway even though she has no magic of her own #thinking the time his voice actor said that if hunter were hugged for so long he'd get so comfortable he'd fall asleep #the boy is so very touch starved and sleep deprived #he ends up losing his eyebags by the time this is all over #note that all of this is meant to be read as platonic affection #i won't get mad if you read it as romantic w willow or mayyybe even luz tho #bit of you ship him romantically w the lesbiab or the 12yo then i will hunt you down #possible exception for the former if ur one of the folks that headcanons hunter as transfem i guess. no exception for gus tho.

[possiblytracker]

feeling normal (birthday in like 3 days that im not ready for) feeling normal (too artblocked and preoccupied to even think about finishing artfight and wrestling with guilt about it) feeling normal (-£600 in bank account) feeling normal (realised breaking my foot last year led to Lasting Consequences but cant see a physio abt my fucked up legs til january) feeling normal (has to learn to drive stick and the instructor is scary) feeling normal (stlil has no idea how to un-fuck social life after the great mental breakdown of april 2023) feeling normal (gross sobbing)

#'hows it going' yeah everything is happening so much its fine tho <2 #like im FINE im just. all over the goddamn place i need things to just settle down #i applied for a job thats like. actually the closest thing i can think of to my dream job. like. rare opportunity where i can suck up to th #employer as much as i want about the place having a huge impact on my life and mean every single word of it for real #(its at the bird park where i used to volunteer but this time doing flight displays animal training and education) #im slightly underqualified for it (no prior hands-on experience and no drivers license yet) so i might not even get the interview #so not getting my hopes up high yet #i can always volunteer there again on weekends while i work whatever retail gig will take me if i dont #but fuuuck it'd be nice. so so cool #'required qualifications: undergrad degree in fields related to animal behaviour' me rolling up with my shiny new Animal Behaviour BSc: #anyway. AUghrh #give things a few more weeks to shake out. ill be okay #having complicated feelings about one chapter of my life being over.. its a fucked up transitory period thats prolly gonna feel worse- #before it feels better #but ill settle into it soon especially once i get a job/my sister goes to college in september #....and i get the goddamn boxes out of my room so it feels more like a place i actually live again jgHJSDN #vent/ #its not Really but close enough

[craycraybluejay]

sex and hormone therapy and killing my abusers and doing hard drugs will fix me

#who boutta fix me #its really easy those are the steps #also like turning my therapist immortal #but thats optional i dont wanna see her die tho :( #but um #*flirting* do you fw any mafias aha like do you know any hired guns yk haha like just asking #ive been out of the dating pool for awhile but when i dated i constantly was drawn to dangerous ppl #it was fun! i was like a weird protsgonist with a murderer-o-meter #i kinda hope i see my ex at an upcoming social function just so i can revel in that #i know what they did and its unlikely many others do #i just like the knowing #and networking around #which btw always network everywhere even if its not a networking event #u never ever know when someones skills or luck can be useful to you or when you can pay it forward and help someone else #capitalists dont want there to be upward mobility n ppl try to make networking sound hard #but the truth is its just meeting as many ppl as u can and being polite and friendly #and even making real friends! #also always know your worth skills wise and be able to pitch at just an amateur level #like 'hi i do art and ive been dabbling at my dads mechanic job' #is more than enough #or even 'hi nice to meet you-- you seem really cool what do you do?' #remember not to overthink and just be genuinely curious about other ppl and open and receptive to new social dynamics #and dont write off even the most drastic opportunities #if you need time to think on it just say that #anyway what was i saying #im gonna get better and if someone doesnt fix me i will fix me

[springcatalyst]

GOT AN INTERVIEW WITH FISHERIES THING I APPLIED TO. IN LIBRARY CANT FREAK OUT

#I ALMOST FORGOT I APPLIED. HELLO #ITS WITH RESIGHINI RANCHERIA AND IF I GET IT I GET TO DO MY GRAD DEGREE AT CAL POLY #I DONT KNOW HOW PROFESSIONAL INTERVIEWS WORK OR WHAT THEY EXPECT BUT HELLO. YO #ALSO TIME ZONES ARE A THING SO WELL SEE WHAT EVEN THIS GOES. BUT BRO #god it starts in january tho. thats so soon. and like what if i get into other schools that i want more but then the time is all messed up #bcause the research here isnt as 1:1 what i want to do but it IS a rlly good opportunity. but like AUGHGHOUH #GIRL HELP. I DONT KNOW LETS SEE IF I GET IT FIRST. HOLA #I THINK THATS ALSO A LOT OF SPECIFIC INFORMATION FOR THE INTERNET BUT ITS FINE. ITS A BIG SCHOOL I THINK WHATRE U GONNA DO? TRACK ME? #IM NOT EVEN THERE YET

[hudbannonarchive]

as i’ve been watching the sopranos i’ve been thinking a lot about how someone could watch this show and find tony to be an aspirational character and obviously the answer is in the way he’s framed. i think when you compare him to the rest of the big three peak tv antiheroes (don draper and walter white) he’s technically the most evil and i also think he’s the one who’s painted in the most sympathetic light, clearly evident in the way everyone around him is either a total baffoon or made to look one by the narrative. to me this is a classic case of the people writing a show misplacing its themes and ideas. in contrast, don is technically the least evil (i’ve said before those other two kill people don just cheats) but i think he’s framed the most critically. ofc you do feel sympathy for him, but i think he’s largely an aspirational figure to audiences because of the lie he’s constructed that is his life. audiences want to be him because he’s handsome rich brilliant and charming but don’t realize or care that all sits on top of his empty soul like oil on water. so that one is definitely on them.

#also because mad men is more of an ensemble it does give you more of an opportunity #to divest from don and root for a less familiar archetype #i have thoughts about breaking bad too but they’re vague it’s been too long since i watched the series in full #i think the show was appropriately disturbed by him but they went very hard showing us what a sad pathetic loser he is for a long time #he’s more sympathetic than some modern audiences even seem to realize because they’re primed to hate him #i personally think he’s less likable than tony but his reason for committing multiple crimes and murders #is ultimately more reasonable than tony’s to the average person #also you understand immediately walt has always been a weak person whereas you understand immediately tony is not #so that’s a factor too but like i said i’d need to rewatch breaking bad #i’m open to being wrong! not about don tho i’m 100% correct there #the sopranos lb #*

[matoitech]

i get the vibe w heris that if promare had been a series she wouldve had much more character complexity not bcuz they wanted to ‘redeem’ her (so i dont mean complexity in that sort of way) but bcuz trigger likes fucking around w writing characters whose sense of morality is based around like a specific other character or situation or whatever. like karre not caring abt the empires war crimes or whatever the fuck the bad ppl r called in star wars, he wants to get am out bcuz he doesnt want his sister to die. so like maybe trigger had their own ideas abt her specific relationships n morals n shit but its not something they rly explored in their 2 hour first time tryingto fit shit in2 movie pacing movie

#like i do think they rly did have a lot of opportunity to make prmare like more complex n deeper than they wanted it to appear at first glan #glance they just also didnt want to overextend beyond them already trying 2 fit a series events into 2 hours #and they also r scared. #so like the relationship given the most time and complexity in prmare is galo and lios bcuz they were confident they could do the romance #successfully at least n like skim around enough on just dropping some stuff or implication and moving on w other stuff w him #to get by to where like u Get whats going on and Get that he was abused by kray but its not Getting Into It #even tho again... they couldve done it better #like i think just deciding on a course of action and going for it was prob smarter than trying to be like #vague in order to retain the 'yeah this was complex we just had to dumb it down to movie time' #tho its pretty obvious galo views kray like a father n kray abused him bcuz 5747575 reasons i could drop for how #the audience knows that that r obvious but like not gonna get in2 it #they COULDVE chosen more straightforward or better written ways to communicate stuff i mean #not in an 'audiences r dumb!' way just in like it woudlve genuinely helped their writing sometimes #also obligatory prmare does have a lot of complexity i just mean like in certain ways #promare

[latinokaeya-moving]

everytime. everytime i talk abt finding the whole immortality dilemma a lil funny/Personally trite bc i’ve very desperately wished i was immortal since i was like. 12 years old. i’ve gotten ppl trying to explain why immortality is narratively treated as a bad thing that has many downsides actually as if i haven’t heard the argument of “but you’ll outlive everyone you know🥺” before and just straight up don’t care that much abt it 😭

when i was watching iwtv this weekend w my cousin i brought it up bc obviously vampires r always talking abt the gift/curse of immortality n when i rolled my eyes n jokingly was like immortality rocks actually she very stiffly was like “you just say that bc you haven’t lost someone yet” and like yeah i guess that’s true but also i think you severely underestimate how much i fear my human mortality lol

#x #death stresses me out a Lot i’ve talked to my parents before abt how if it was possible i would be into being #cryogenically frozen or smth until ppl figured the whole lengthening lifespan thing out😭😭 #i was Extremely neurotic about it as a teen a lot of my intrusive thoughts involved me suddenly dying n that would make me freak out m just #start crying at the idea of it lol #the whole reason i started listening to podcasts was bc otherwise at the time when i was working in the evenings i would just let my mind d #drift* to the idea of death n i would get sooo agitated and upset abt it #i straight up often stayed awake for HOURS bc i couldn’t bring myself to fall asleep bc i was so scared of dying suddenly overnight like i’m #not kidding at all when i say i went insaneeee #everytime i thought abt death it’s always stressed me out. so i’ve Always said that id take immortality any day lol. #even tho my fear isn’t as Ever present n constantly bringing me to tears now i still stand by it sorry i know i know the conceptual issues w #becoming immortal and all but 🤷 death scares me more lol #if ur curious btw im not scared of death in an abstract sense i just Really don’t like that we don’t definitively know what happens after we #die and hate that. and the standard idea of when u die ur consciousness ceases to exist is upsetting to me lol i don’t like it at All #it’s why i sometimes wish i was able to be religious in some way bc i want the comfort of some kind of assurance of what happens after #but yeah. ANYWAYS. was just thinking abt this bc of the reminder of that convo w my cousin bc i saw iwtv on my dash #i AM the weakest link and would 100% ask to be turned into a vampire given the opportunity thank you very much

[stevethehairington]

besties i got SO sunburnt today 😩😩

#i am. suffering #its so awkward too its just the TOPS of my arms not the bottoms even tho all of my arm was equally in the sun for equally as long #and my face is friiiiied #ough and a little spot on my chest where the neckline of my shirt dipped #its. ough #mack rambles #but hey! at least i got some sick shots today!! #sf has some GREAT photography opportunities that is for suuuure #wish we had more time today but it was still a good day!

[mishkakagehishka]

With the language speaking poll, it varies from country (and state/county in the US)

In my area you're required 2 years of a language course

Most kids take it but do the bare minimum or just don't remember it. Usually you grow up knowing that language/being taught it young. Sometimes we learn jt in school and remember enough to keep taking to learn and remember. We usually offer use it or lose it languages, which most kids don't use it and then they lose it and then no one speaks other languages

Huh! That makes sense, actually, i feel like 2 years is not nearly enough to retain enough knowledge, and not even enough to learn a lot. I think when i started studying italian in 4th grade, we didn't even get to subjunctives by the time i was 8th grade, and subjunctives are a surprisingly common form. At least to the way I speak. And even among those who took the elective third language, i know a lot of folks who don't remember a thing about it, i'm assuming because even four years of a once-per-week class isn't enough for retention.

Well, it's sad, at least to me who is linguistically inclined. Quot linguas calles tot homines vales is something i take personally lololol but right! I guess it's the sort of inertion that happens to speakers of a lingua franca, there's no "need" to learn a foreign language, so even those who are talented for languages might never find out :/

Well, I hope thanks to globalisation, at least those who like foreign languages can find ways to learn even outside of formal schooling :>

#i think you'll notice easily that i'm a bit in love with foreign languages and really defend languages as a subject in school with my life #i once saw (a native eng speaker) call foreign language subjects joke classes and useless and i felt like maiming lmao #but i feel like i totally understand what you mean #it's one thing with english - it's a mandatory 2nd language from 1st to 12th grade in my country #which means that it's standardised and you're always learning more and more and more and thanks to media #you're bound to retain it. i even had it in preschool ! #and a related digression but it also depends on the age you give students a foreign language - the older we get the harder it is to learn #a language. not impossible but just more difficult. i think a huge part of the reason why i'm fluent is because of the fact that i started #learning when i was 4 years old. the third language is an elective in most 4th-8th grade classes and kids get to choose #between italian and german usually (a friend of mine took french tho) and despite the fact that they're languages we do get exposed to #but i tell you most kids i know don't remember anything. depending on the high school you either get a mandatory 3rd language or a #mandatory 3rd and 4th. again italian and/or german. but those tortured souls in classic gymnasiums had latin and ancient greek </3 #even from my hs class i don't know many folks who remember much italian. it's dependant on the kid's will to learn when there's not as much #time or focus on the class bc yknow. we took the same classes yet i'm quite comfortable majoring in a language my friends can barely #introduce themselves in. such is life. i'd love languages to be more focused on especially in these times of globalisation but well #i guess it'll just always be harder to implement a focus on anything non-english #bc it's considered one of the only useful language there's the inertion in anglo countries #and the unwillingness to bother in non-anglo countries #at least in mine where kids have like 17 other subjects i can see why they'd to the bare minimum for 3rd language #even i - linguistically inclined as i am - passed on the opportunity to take french in hs because i just had enough on my plate #asks

[kaotical]

guys ,,, I did ..,,. voice acting ..,..,.;.;.

#k rambles #GRGREAAHAHHHH #I WENT SO FOKKIN FERAL and it felt so good !!! #I was home alone one day for a LONG TIME and saw the opportunity to YELL into my mic without worries! #I mean it took a while to get used to as when I begin I always feel like there’s someone in the house even tho i quadruple checked #and i occasionally go to check and make sure that no one has walked through the door between breaks #even tho I know damn well there wasn’t a chance haha #I always start sweating ?? (but again it was hot asf and I couldn’t have my AC blowing during a VA sesh) but i swear it always happens #BUT I DID SOME CHARACTER IMPRESSIONS and a friend of mine said that I should try voicing this one character that went BATSHIT CRAZY #and I was like BET #my sister had come home by then but I did let her know I would be screaming upstairs #it’s progress !! i’m gaining more confidence in my voice and i’m so happy 💖✨ #I still think my general voice reel I made that day is a lil cringe tho but that’s cause i’m still an amateur #I need to train myself to not have such a bumpy voice #like .. when you make your voice go really low and it’s not one solid sound.. y’know what i mean ?? #I need to make my voice smoother because it’s like that .. all the time #almost all the time 🤔 MOSTLY when i’m paying rlly close attention to it I WILL take note of it #but anyways would u guys be interested to see ?? (I may just post it anyway - not rn tho)