#every time ive asked what i can do | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

transdib · 8 months

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the nhs be like

me in march: hi i have moved here from australia, i have been on testosterone since 2018 on a 3-monthly injection and i have a letter from my aussie gp to verify this and that i have been linked in with a psych and endo since then too and i just need a prescription continuation of my treatment. my next shot is due in june and i cant be late

gp: ok :) i have to make a referral to the nearest gender clinic and theyll be in touch and i'll send them the letter from the aussie gp

me: ok thanks

gender clinic a week later: hi we got your referral + letter but we need some more info

me: okay heres some more info

gender clinic: no thats not enough info we need your entire history including your Diagnosis TM from the psych as a letter + recent bloods arent enough. but once we get those we can streamline you through as a review patient so youre not on the waitlist

me after a fuss between me and the aussie gp due to email troubles: ok heres all the documents they have on my file im about a month overdue i need my shot asap

gender gp: thanks we will be in touch asap

*silence for over a month*

me: hey when am i going to be seen to? im nearly 2 months overdue for my t shot

gender clinic: weve had a high amount of referrals and youre on the waitlist so youre just gonna have to wait

me: :}

*another month of silence*

gender clinic: hi so thank you for sending those documents over, since you have already been on hrt since 2018 you dont actually need our services so we're discharging you and we're gonna write a letter to your gp explaining this and that she can prescribe the dose as recommended on our website

me:.....okay well....what do i have to do now?

gender clinic: im gonna write up a letter to send to your gp and they will be in contact with you to arrange an appointment and you can get your hrt easily like that

me: *on the brink of having a mental fucking breakdown cuz of being 3 months overdue for my hrt and all of the hormonal and physical changes that have left me feeling unbearably distressed and anxious and su1cidal and all the other fucking stressors that have come from this* okay......thanks :}

#negative -#life of doge #this summary doesnt even begin to scratch the surface of just how distressing this has been for me #i just cant wrap my head around how you essentially have no control over the letters given #or control over the correspondence btwn the gp and the gender clinic #every time ive asked what i can do #ive just been told to wait for a call #then when i inquire theyre like oh we never got that letter :)#even aus was never this fucking difficult #i really do feel for the clinics and how understaffed they are #and how they get fuck all funding and theyre the ones paying the price #for the stupid gov making stupid decisions and setting the system up this way #but my fucking god. my fucking god.#every person i talk to has their own arbitrary idea of the process #and nothing makes sense and i just want my goddamn hrt #i just want to feel okay again #ive been crying almost daily from so much stress #and i dont even know when im gonna get my t #and it feels like i wont get it until i am actually getting it #cuz who knows what the gp is gonna say now.....fucksake

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marblerose-rue · 10 months

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click for better quality!

are you gonna start climbing, or what? / needletail

#my art #do not copy trace or steal #needletail #wc #waca #warrior cats #wc art #uhhhh I DO THIS EVERY TIME i forget what my normal tags are #if i said ive been working on this all day please dont take me literally . ive been working on it off and on all day i probably spent like #3ish hours total on this thing #LITERALLY RIGHT AS I STARTED THIS ONE OF THE TREES OUTSIDE. HALF OF IT BROKE AND FELL LMFAO everything + everyone is alright dwdw #i just needed to stare at it for a while . and there was also a butterfly i brought inside and fed hummingbird feed to with a cotton swab #this is a request from twidder :-] my account is private bc im weird about twitter but if mutuals can ask for my user they can ^_^#THIS IS A NEW COLORING METHOD if it looks weird pls tell me and i will go about it differently bc its still experimental #scratching my chin OH YEAH i repotted almost all of my plants yesterday i have like four more left to go #if this is out of character for her also please let me know i have not read avos . or anything beyond that x_x

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 10 months

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so i've been watching Muppet compilations-

#currently my top three Guys are: miss piggy / gonzo / rowlf #their vibes are immaculate <3 #also im saying it. yeah miss piggy is hot as fuck. sure im jealous of kermit why do you ask #a little pig puppet has no business serving that hard #every time im watching a compilation and She comes on im immediately sitting up and paying complete attention #i also pay attention when rowlf and gonzo pop up but for Very Different Reasons #gonzo because he's gender. he's me. what more can i say #& rowlf because he's funny as fuck #like ive been watching rowlf clips from the jimmy dean show #i haven't laughed like that in a While #funny doggy....#my favorite style of humor is like. deadpan & sarcasm & puns. yknow. wisecracks and the like #which is ironic considering half the time i dont pick up on sarcasm irl!#but suffice to say rowlf hits all the humor points with me #and there's just something nice about his design! he's friend shaped!#scribble salad #the muppets #muppet fanart #puppet brain puppet brain....#sesame street clips have also been funny #i have watched. So Much bert & ernie #boy am i thiiiiiiirstie..... that clip has been stuck in my brain for days #and elmo's beef with rocko... what did rocko ever do to him smh...#i like watching compilations titled like 'most chaotic moments / muppets getting hurt in stupid ways / etc'#i like puppet violence! its very amusing!#i might start watching the muppet show from the start #i could make it a routine (that would quickly fall apart cause i cant keep up routines for the life of me)#that consists of watching an episode per night while i crochet #a nice little break yk yk #chip away at projects. have a laugh. sounds nice

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quarterprioritymidnight · 8 months

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happy 3rd birthday to the hottest thing bastille has ever done anyone but me x nightmares (24.08.2020)

#mine #bastille #i talk about bastille all the time irl but mentions of blond dan will not pass my lips #i am boygenius not strong enough #to this day i do not understand it #i dont usually like blond guys and hes basically wearing an emo hawaiian shirt #but ive seen this video so many times and every time i end up blushing and smiling to myself like a fucking teenager LORD #someones commented something like 'great cover dan has no sex appeal' on the youtube vid #and like first of all what a thing to comment absolutely hilarious #second like fair ig each to their own but like THIS is the video you chose to comment that on????#anyway anyone but me x nightmares u will always be famous lives were truly changed forever #i hope that one day u will be allowed on oph so we can have u on spotify #i am once again asking rockstille album when also like maybe dan should just bleach his hair again for it #idk would that be such a bad thing while were out here brainstorming just throwing some ideas out into the universe nothing serious idk

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puppyeared · 15 hours

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i think the reason why im so drawn to spirit tracks and pkmn scarvi is that having the legendary/princess as a companion rather than a goal that marks the games completion makes me feel satisfied the way i would after helping a friend

my brother always teases me about how I still havent finished botw after almost 7 years bc "id rather be out picking flowers" which i wont say is untrue. and yes i know Zeldas been holding off ganon for 100 years, yes i can get some sort of idea what her relationship with link was like by recalling memories and going through her diary. ive always loved botw for its unique storytelling and setting which makes it stand out, because it lets you get to know who you're saving.

but because theyre memories, it only works if theres something for the player to investigate that already happened. its retroactive (but effective nonetheless)

on the other hand, spirit tracks does something similar but instead of having the player try to piece together memories and interpret them as a spectator, you actually have an opportunity to get to know zelda yourself by talking to her and working together. besides making it a gameplay mechanic, giving the player control over how they interact with zelda makes it so much more personable.

and I find that making the goal feel personal instead of an obligation gives me more of a reason to work towards it. I know what kind of person botw zelda was but as the player, shes still very much a stranger to me. but spirit tracks zelda? thats my friend!!!! she invited me to go to the beach after we get her body back!!! i dont want to whip her to make her move faster thats mean :(

you know how hostage negotiators are trained to introduce themselves and get to know the person theyre negotiating with because its harder to hurt someone when you know what their favorite food is? its kinda like that, because it feels like im helping a friend than being told or led to do smth

and although i havent played scarvi myself, i feel an attachment to koraidon and miraidon even just watching playthrough clips because its like!! thats my weird scaly dog!! it loves sandwiches and we're friends!!! you know!!!!!!

#i dont normally write long posts like this but i think ive been trying to put this into words for a long time and it finally happened #my cloth mother spirit tracks zelda and my wire mother lttp zelda #ACTUALLY ANOTHER THING when i was a kid i always felt guilty when i had to catch the legendary at the end of the game #because to me it was like 'i know none of this is real but if i capture you and have you under my thumb am i robbing the world of something #normal thoughts for a 10 year old to have #when i talked to my brother abt this he was like 'i mean yeah the point is to dunk on the NPCs what were you expecting' and i mean i think #i get that its supposed to feel rewarding because the legendary is THE reward. but it doesnt feel right and i dislike he feeling of pushing #others down to get ahead. i guess u can argue sun/moon does smth similar where you have nebby with lillie #but lillie still ends up handing nebby over to the player and i STILL feel bad because im like shit man you raised that little guy #and koraidon/miraidon feels less like a reward but more like overpowered motorcycle lizard that is just so oupydog. and i love him #and in spirit tracks i went out of my way doing some of the side quests bc zelda asked nicely and honestly that was enough for me #i think all of this boils down to.. i feel very protective abt things i care abt so stories that give me a reason to care hits harder #this can also go the other way bc i CRIED when i finished links awakening because i KNEW every person and im responsible for #literally the end of their world. like. there was a family with 5 kids. marin loved singing and cared about me. she was my FRIEND #i just. ugh. i have too many feelings rn. i kinda wanna draw more spirit tracks link and zelda i think that wld make me feel better #yapping #diary #loz #pokemon

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baeshijima · 4 months

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it is now officially the 25th which means...

merry christmas everyone !!! regardless of whether u celebrate or not, i hope u all have a lovely day with whoever u spend it with or with urself <33

#sophie's idle chatter #this is scheduled so im HOPING it posts at 12 am.... prays....#i havent been super active in the past month or two bc life is kicking my ass (<- has said this countless times already but its still true)#also !! i see asks and ill try and answer them when i actually have the time and energy 😭 ik i say this a lot but ive been drained good god #(not so) mini life updates :#the new lovebrush chronicles main story update has made me weep so much... ive done both clarence and ayns routes and....#my god.... this story is darker and honestly im loving it AND i love how they did the chara roles in this world (alkaid... ourgh...)#my tear glands arent tho bc ayn ending 3.... what the fuck was that i couldnt sleep after doing that ending??? ITS WAS SO SAD AND FOR WHATF #currently having to wait until the 27th so i can do lars route 😔#the recent ep of apothecary diaries.... ourgh my heart.... jinshi and maomao beloveds :((#oh !! and ive gotten back into my ace of diamonds/daiya no ace phase and have been rewatching the series...#sobbing chris and yuki and miyuki my beloveds.... kissing ur foreheads and holding u gently.....#the way i got back into it bc im catching up on s2 of a clean sweep (a korean baseball variety show that i love with all my heart ;w;)#my mum is a traitor tho bc she watched every new ep that came out on tuesdays while i was in uni 🧍‍♀️ so now im catching up on the 30 eps #on my own 🧍‍♀️#OMG AND ALSO DR STONE S3??? WHY WAS I NOT NOTIFIED THAT PART 1 CAME OUT MONTHS AGO AND PART 2 WAS MORE RECENT???#i havent been doing that much writing recently tho bc the fingers wont type but the brain is exploding with ideas i cannot handle this #i do want to get back to the haitham sxf series tho.... and also my oc various x reader series.......#tbh ive been contemplating abt publishing the haitham series on ao3 once i write more chapters before publishing them #idk i feel like the series would be nice to have on ao3 as well as tumblr JHDG #thats abt it i think?#anywho if u read this far then know i am giving u a warm cookie as a condolence prize for getting through this life dump <33 #ill leave it off here but i hope u all have a lovely day !! mwah mwah merry chrysler everyone 🎄🫶#queue... ueueue

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snailfen · 27 days

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logically i know hacking a 3DS won't be hard and it shouldn't require much but unfortunately ever since my battery bloated i am. Paranoid

#my first 3DS (the one who had a bloated battery) is REALLY old and every time it has a problem i loose 10 years off of my life #its got a bump on the back from the bloated battery. ive opened it back up like 2 times to make sure its ok. UGHHH #the second one is fine but its my only 3DS that can properly play DS games with the bottom touchscreen #my first one registers all touchscreen inputs to the top right corner with DS games #and ive heard that hacking it can cause that problem #so im not sure i wanna hack the second one #AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF i have TERRIBLE luck with electronics!!!!#so like yeah id probably be able to know what im doing but FUCK man im not sure if i wanna risk it #at this point I'm better off asking my mom to help me do this. she's fixed my 3DS before maybe she can help with this #mossball.txt #nintendo 3ds #3ds hacking #3ds homebrew

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scribz-ag24 · 8 months

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do you have any favorite fanfics involving grovyle, dusknoir, & celebi, either shipping or platonic? 🥺

In fact, I have some! Perhaps if I hadn't found them I'd be a bit more sane now, alas... So the next three are all from the same author and are my favourites from PMD (although I havent looked for Grovyle/Celebi or Dusknoir/Celebi alone, idk if someone has some recommendations for those). Still, tho, here is what I've read.

One more adventure https://archiveofourown.org/works/48325621

Platonic future trio (tho the author has stated that they can see the shipping happening lol). I like this one especially bc of the Celebi appreciation, she's the POV and has added lore abour her crucial role in keeping the dark future stable and helping to fix it. Also great dusknoir and grovyle characterization, but that's a given with this author.

The next three are actaeon (Dusknoir/Grovyle), so Celebi barely appears or has relevance. It's a shame, but they're still some of my fav fics.

Stars that shine https://archiveofourown.org/works/33070633

ABSOLUTE FAV. IVE REREAD IT LIKE 20 TIMES. ONE OF THE MOMENTS TOWARDS THE END LIVES IN MY HEAD RENT FREE. Btw you can ignore the tags, its not as grim as it sounds lol. No spoilers but this fic is the fic ever. Also Dusknoir is so in love in this one it hurts lmao. I sketched some fanart for this fic i need to clean it and post it.......this fic deserves it.....

Together we'll be heroes https://archiveofourown.org/works/37172176/chapters/92737780

This one is also actaeon, but theres also focus on Hero/Partner. It's a retelling of EoS through snippets of Hero, Partner, Grovyle and Dusknoir's PoV, and is really well narrated. While i was put off at first by the idea of a retelling of the game, I was pleasantly surprised by how entertaining the story and characters are! ts unfinished, and unfortunately ends before the story progresses much beyond the plot of the game, however the part of the story that is set in post game is precious. and it also has my favourite thing ever, that is, future trio not knowing what the hell to do with their lives now that theyre not dead.

It's not unfounded https://archiveofourown.org/works/28630209

This one is not from the same author, but it's also short and sweet, and it even inspired one of my posta about future trio (the one with grovyle's "tail" wagging xd). Maybe it can get a bit too "fanfic-y" at times, but I still enjoyed it a lot. Its basically actaeon hurt/comfort and discussing what their future is gonna be now the the world is back on track and on its way to healing.

So yeah those are the ones I've read and enjoyed lmao. If you've looked for pmd fics before you might have already read them, since there arent a lot of fics and these are all well tagged and all.

#scribz answer asks in 30 words or less challenge #oh well now yall can see what goes on my brain 😔😔😔#ask #okay can you tell that i had the dusknoir/grovyle brainrot and celebi came afterwards #i think ive compensated it tho lmao #BUT FOR REAL STARS THAT SHINE IS SO PERFECT IT HITS ME EVERY TIME AND THERES STH ABOUR DUSKNOIR FEELING PUPPY LOVE THAT IS SO MESSED UP BUT #ALSO SO SO SO GRAHHHH #so yeah i liked it #also 'together we'll be heroes' is also so fun and the dusknoir and grovyle moments are peak #theres one part after grovyle's capture in crystal lake where dusknoir goes 'you know. if the people of treasure town knew the truth they #would side with me'#and thats the kind of bs dusknoir would do like yesss bullshit your way through a conversation with your greatest enemyyyy

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mcybree · 3 months

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Ok ok ok I'm not Tryna start discourse but bluestars prophecy was my first ever warriors book and bluestar will always be my favourite so I'm gonna make some counterpoints to you about her being a Smajor character

bluestar has always been led by an intense loyalty and dedication to those she loves and cares for - this includes her mum, her sister, her clan, eventually Firepaw when he joins the clan, and she has a VERY strong moral compass when it comes to doing the right thing - when she sees thistleclaw teaching tigerpaw to hurt a then baby scourge she very much discourages it and is against it

Afaik scott is Not like that, he doesn't have an emotional or love-driven moral code, he does things because they're smart decisions in the long term or because he wants to. Granted I havent seen a ton of his stuff but I have seen his limited life and 3rd life perspectives and he is very much a singular team player there, there to look after himself and well if people align with him that's great he's got allies (jimmy and Martyn) but he won't go out of his way to care for them

Bluestars defiance of starclan in the first series is BECAUSE she gave herself to them and what the warrior code demanded so much - yes she broke clan rules by having kids with crookedstar but she did everything in her power to make sure they'd have a happy life and felt terrible that thrushpelt was willing to say they were his to save her reputation. She didn't do it out of a selfish want, she only ever wanted to help her clan and those she loved, and her becoming clan leader is emblematic of that want. When she rejects starclan so wholeheartedly in the first series it's because THINGS KEEP GOING WRONG WHEN SHES TRIED SO HARD TO STOP THEM FROM DOING THAT - starclan has never cared about the sacrifices she made to keep her loved ones and clan safe, she lost her mother, her sister, her kits, her mate, literally everything, and things STILL KEEP GETTING WORSE. it's not a demand that she deserves to have everything good, it's a cry for help that shouldn't something go right after she's tried so hard???

C!Scott isn't like that. He puts himself above others and inherently believes he will get the best if he just plays his cards right, and he is good at it, he's very competent at lasting a long time in life series and getting what he wants - the ruthlessness of gem driven by desperation kills him in secret life, Martyn's complete fucking about face kills him in limited life, and I'm pretty sure it's etho who gets him out in 3rd life by luck. He doesn't plan to look after the ones he cares about, because he cares about himself first and foremost. Yeah you can argue when he doesn't get what he wants he gets annoyed, but his is less of a 'why don't I get this don't I deserve it' and more of a 'oh fuck this didn't work. Ok new plan double down on getting what I want by appeasing to people cos they're easy to read and therefore account for'

I don't doubt Scott would make a bluestar adjacent character if he made a warrior cats oc BUT his character would honestly be closer to darktail or ashfur than bluestar and that's that on that.

(sorry you activated 13 year old me's unskippable cutscene sjdjsjsjja this isnt meant to be a serious argument I just love bluestar a lot and love talking about her)

OKAY 1. this is fucking awesome thank you 2. i am going to do something new and exciting (advocate for scott instead of beating him to death with sticks) because unfortunately this bluestar info has only made me believe she is a smajor character even more.

As a general note when I talk about smajor characters as a collective here I’m referring to characters more in the realm of esmp/traffic/rats/pirates/etc, less vampire scott or necromancer scott who are intended to be villainous.

Scott characters tend to operate under a “If I am not a Good Person I may as well die” rule, and consequently abide by a strict moral code to keep themselves feeling clean. For instance: traffic Scott will never go back on his word, he will avoid dishonesty, and he won’t take from others unless he is sure that he can repay them. He will never betray his seasonal primary ally (even when they betray him first), and will often give people things just because they asked him nicely. He stakes a lot of his own identity on this, because it is through being a “good person” that he justifies his superiority (and, by extension, his own existence); in his mind he deserves the best and *is* the best because he is such a good person. When things don’t go his way, he thinks he doesn’t deserve it because he has been nothing but good, so he tries to place a reason. He often assumes that somebody must “have a vendetta” against him, even if this somebody is the world (see: him asking if limlife episode 1 boogeyman is some kind of joke played on him for not giving in to the boogey curse in Last Life.) which is very Bluestar to me, convinced that her misfortunes are a divine punishment.

This is all to say that Scott does have a strict moral code and deep sense of loyalty. Being a “good person” and devoted partner in the ways he understands it are so ingrained into what he is that I think he definitely has the capacity to be a Bluestar if he were raised being taught clan values, even if his internal systems are often built around never letting gross emotions be fully felt rather than what those emotions compel him to do.

#ive always wanted to partake in pointless character debate on tumblr #considered maintagging this but didnt want people looking at your ask weird. sorry yall we serve fucked up scott here #“But bree” you might ask “what about pearl? He wasnt a very devoted partner then!”#and to that I say: pearl isnt a person to him. and neither is jimmy. Scott fucked up with both of them and unfortunately if he is not good-#and justified 100% of the time he loses his entire identity so convincing himself that they are incompetent or crazy so that he #doesnt have to self reflect is how he gets by. he would literally rather kill himself than earnestly admit fault for anything #… huh. about the above tags I dont remember the lore but is there any parallel there with the whole bright heart thing #genuine question bc I do not remember why blue star did that and I dont trust the wiki #(Trying to space out names so they dont tag)#I really hope this makes sense btw bc I feel like I usually list a lot more examples… but im tired #I can elaborate on any point here if need be ig. I dont talk about this aspect of him often because the literal entire fandom does already #Every scott analysis post out there is about his damn loyalty… anyways yeah scotts loyalty is transactional more often than emotional but #It’s still loyalty and also. hard to draw the line between where the emotions stop sometimes because he can stop giving a fuck about—#most things on a whim. How much scott genuinely cares about something is a forever undefinable concept #asks #he is genuinely a very good ally to have usually. like jimmy was very much the exception there #he does like helping people out he does. he’s just also emotionally detached so he tallies his favors and good deeds to bring up later if—#someone he’s helped decides to go against him. If that makes sense #sorry man I just keep talking. I love this blue animal…….#thanks for the ask genuinely I love when paragraphs about characters #anyways im gonna pass out and. Shakes myself STOP ADDING MORE TAGSSS i think im so tired man

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girlcrushau · 1 month

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#me? about to use tumblr as a diary again? in 2024? unfortunately:/#but here have a waterfall i saw on a hike last week as payment #i am sO tired and exhausted emotionally after dating #there's this guy that i fr thought was going to last and be around for a long time. we spent like every moment together that we could for 2 #months straight and if we werent physicaly together we were texting or calling or on ft . just every part of our day had the other in it #not once did i ever feel unwanted undesired or uncared for. not once did i feel that i wasnt sure of his intentions. i felt safer with him #in those 2 months than i ever did with any one else i could think to compare to.#until one day he just didnt think it important to communicate any more. after 3 days of nearly nothing .. hardly any talking . i asked if #he was ok if we were ok. what was going on in his head. he said some ive just been with my buddies and family and havent been on my phone #and just. immediately thats heartbreak yanno. thats :// thats what they say when theres a new girl. but there'd never been a reason to think #there was another girl so i was like ok we're gonna trust bc this dude has been So good in every way. so i said imy but i understand. enjoy #your time with your buddies and with your fam -- i cant wait to hear about it (and hold you)#and i havent heard from him in the 3 weeks since. just randomly #so last night #i send the dreaded 'i miss you' text.#i dont expect to hear back and i accept the hurt that will come with that and the confusion that i've felt settles deeper into my heart #until this afternoon i hop on ig and see a hard launch that was posted an hour after my text was sent #that shit kinda hurt different. but also sent me into a bit of a delirious state where all i could do is laugh bc are you for fucking real #did she see my message? i know it. bc i know him and i know that he wouldnt hide anything from the person he's giving his heart #and his softness to. i can almost imagine how he showed her and promised her theres nothing to worry about #and there really isnt anything to worry about because he genuinely is the type to give his all to the relationship he's in #which feels silly to say after what happened w us. like no there wasnt a title ever #it sucks to call it a situationship because a month ago we were laughing in bed together about how we could never bc we were all in.#just the timing of the hard launch makes me giggle. did my text push them to have a conversation about what they are. was she really the #reason that he went away on me.#im trying not to blame myself . trying not to think about the phone calls i didnt answer. about what i could have done differently. trying #not to think about where we would be if i didnt let my anxieties hold me back. if i wasnt scared about what he'd think of the parts of me #that i keep hidden just a little bit longer than the rest.#and at the same time im trying not to put him on a pedestal. but that pedestal is just where i wholeheartedly believe he belongs #he set the bar for me. he set the standard. i was never too much. i was never too little. he made me feel perfect just as i am

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loser-jpg · 2 months

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hate teacher.

so angry.

he told me my 6 months worth of work has to be scrapped and entirely redone in 2 weeks. thats literally impossible. i am the tiniest inconvenience away from having an entire meeting with him to read him a 5 page essay on how he has been of no help this entire semester and last and how he has done nothing but inconvenience me all year.

hes seen the work many times before but only brought up the issue now. 2 weeks before a progress report. He told me the thing hes been having me work on for an entire month cant be part of my progress report because its not specific enough.

IF THIS WAS GOING TO BE A PROBLEM HE WOULD HAVE ALREADY KNOWN AND HE SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME BEFORE I WAS 6 MONTHS IN.

he blatantly holds favoritism as every other student (they all happen to be cis men) get all the help in the world yet i get no help at all and when he tells me i have to scrap all my work he doesnt even point me in the right direction just says redo it you have 2 weeks.

this is a group project but every other group is doing one project with all people working together yet mine is doing one project each person meaning i cant even get assistance. two of the people in my group HAVE NOT SPOKEN A WORD TO ME SINCE THE BEGINNING OF THE YEAR.

he is also needlessly rude. instead of just politely saying there might be an issue he feels the need to make me feel like an idiot for not realizing it sooner. I am half convinced this man finds joy in publicly humiliating and shaming me in any way possible. You are a grown ass man what the actual fuck. You are in your god damn 50s.

#loser speaks #vent #i am two seconds away from yelling at him in front of everyone #i am going to continue with what ive been working on till the progress report than fix after and if he doesnt let me im kicking his ass #it is litterally impossible to redo it in the time i have #i can legit use half the stuff i have even after redoing but only if he lets me keep going with what i have till the report #i am almost baffled this man even has his job because every issue ive asked help on hes clueless #like more dumb than me. did not know how to help and i had to figure out myself #HOW DO YOU HAVE YOUR JOB IF YOUR DUMBER THAN YOUR STUDENTS #also he just. cannot get his thoughts across #every time he talks its like random nonsence with no meaning #none of his words MEAN anything #like. is it so hard to answer a simple question with a straightforward response?#typing this out tho has made me realize this man is an idiot and a giant baby so i actually dont care anymore #honestly im better than him and am going to do so much greater things than he ever did so im just gonna ignore him #get through the year and ill never have to see him again 👍

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hella1975 · 1 year

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choked up in my room rn bc i was sat in the car with my mum completely lost in thought and she out of nowhere went 'are you okay?' and i was like 'yeah? why?' bc i was totally fine i was literally just thinking and she let it go and then five entire minutes later she goes 'are you sure? have i done something?' and she sounded so genuinely anxious and i could tell she'd been thinking about it the entire 5 minutes while id been completely oblivious and i spent so many years as a child letting everything bottle up until it all burst out in a messy and ugly breakdown that took her down with me and despite that she never hated me she only ever blamed herself for not seeing the signs and she's never been able to see my signs because i keep everything to myself and it terrifies her that she might miss something and she handles things poorly when she's scared and she gets too angry but fundamentally she's trying her absolute hardest to be a good mother and it wasn't always enough and i know i have to hold her at least partially accountable but also she's my mum and im her daughter and she always just wants to know if im okay and most of the time im not and somehow that feels like ive betrayed her

#like my mum is such a loud powerful force of a woman that these little moments of vulnerability where she's just HONEST with me #and she shows me that she's worried or scared or unsure instead of just constantly putting up a strong front #always always bowl me over #like ive literally said to her time and time again that i'd find it easier to communicate with her if she wasn't so strong all the time #like of course i hate crying and being emotional in front of you when youve made it v clear my whole life that you hate doing that #when it's you that's the one being emotional like that's not fair #but also being strong all the time is literally a survival thing she had no choice but to implement bc her own life was so hard #so how can i just ask her to lower those walls for me? even if keeping them up is to both our detriment?#and like ive talked on here before how she's openly admitted to me that she finds my temper harder to handle than my sister's #even tho mine is quieter and significantly less messy. but she's also said to me that in general she finds my sister easier to deal with #bc my sister's so open and if she's angry she yells if she's sad she cries if she's happy she talks ur ear off etc etc #i just insist on handling everything myself and the worse i feel the more i deal on my own and it TERRIFIES my mum #BECAUSE it's led to mistakes in the past but also just bc i have never ever doubted that she has so much love for me in her heart #like even when our relationship was at its worst it was never ever a lack of love and she just does genuinely care and worry about me #it's just if she's scared she just gets ANGRY and her angry means her hurting my feelings and my feelings being hurt means i shut down MORE #and it's literally the worst combo but we love each other so much that we're both clawing through it anyway it makes me want to cry #and because she's always so strong i FORGET that there's just a scared vulnerable person behind those walls #that has no idea what she's doing bc her own mum never taught her anything good #and my mum blames herself so completely for every bad thing like she says things like 'i feel like ive failed' and idk how to tell her #that she IS messy and incredibly flawed and she HAS done things that have hurt me beyond comprehension #and there are bad parts of my personality that exist because of her and her alone #but ive also done terrible things to her too like not even considering the fact our responses arent compatible and that hurts her #i also did some DUMB shit when i first started tackling ye olde mental illness that had a HUGELY negative impact on everyone around me #but she is still my favourite person in the world and my best friend and i love her and i know she loves me and i just want to hold her #girls when their mum isnt an all powerful being but instead a flawed human trying their best: SKJDGHKDJSHGJKSDHGJKSH #hella goes home

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halforcdad · 2 years

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serenading was really the last thing i ever wanted Kate to do as her grand gesture and i still don’t love it, but the amount of people who keep calling a big, awkward, public gesture hugely ooc for Kate and keep saying they miss the old whistler who wasn't dumb, oh DIA Whistler was so much better. its the show’s first season. i don’t think it’s even possible to be ooc when the writers are just starting to create these characters and we barely know them. we only saw ‘cool, confident, bossy dia whistler’ for about 6 episodes before 1x11 happened and changed everything, and while she’s still all of those things she was changing even before the breakup happened and with all the growth she’s gone through, she’s going to end the season looking pretty different to how she started (fair warning, this is a little unhinged and unorganized, just a little)

her arc has been about her learning to let people in and learning to be more honest with her feelings, to not be afraid of putting herself out there and learning how to stop pushing people away as a result of the impact Lucy and the team have had on her. it’s about making yourself vulnerable and trying to find people who will accept you even if you’re an awkward giraffe. throughout the season the writers have been telling us that she: finds it hard to be open and show her emotions, she puts her orders before her feelings at work causing everyone to view her as the ‘bad cop’ and that sucks, she really wants to make connections with her coworkers, but she doesn’t know how and she’s kinda bad at it, she was afraid of starting something with Lucy (and messing it up) because Lucy’s the most amazing woman she’s ever met and she wanted to keep it on the downlow until she felt she could handle it, is actually very charming and sensitive and goofy underneath that hardened exterior

there’s a reason Ernie describes her as “the tall one acting goofy,” she tries to keep her relationship with Lucy a secret and yet you can see her softening as a result of it and being unable to hide their connection and pull to each other even at work. Jesse notices they’re making googly eyes at each other during the Pearl Harbor tour in 1x09 and remarks that “there’s a certain DIA officer i haven’t seen around your desk recently,” because she couldn’t fight the gravitational pull drawing her to Lucy’s desk everyday, literally the worst kept secret at the office you morons! In 1x12 she’s sprinting after Lucy practically shouting after her (loud enough for all of Pearl Harbor to hear) even when she’s asking if Lucy’s going to throw their relationship away that easily. Kate gets a pass with Jane because how can you pretend you don’t care about Lucy after she could’ve died on an UC mission and as for Kai, well, he has two eyes so he definitely noticed too

the Whistler in 1x01 would definitely not be going over to Tennant’s house after 1x14 and sharing a drink with her (might not have warned her about Glenn Smith either) and maybe she wouldn’t have tried comforting her when Jesse went missing in 1x15 (not because she wouldn’t have wanted to, but maybe it would have been harder without all the stuff that happened in between as a result of the Lucy romance) and that’s growth baby!

as for her acting ‘dumb’ and goofy, whistler’s greatest hits (paraphrased):

1x07: the entire opening scene right in front of Ernie's coffee, like ladies its barely 9 in the morning

1x09: “i want to be intimate” “here???”

1x11: "i like this" "the coffee? its fair trade." "so i think i win the dumbass award." "yes...no! NO!"

1x14: “creds... that’s what all the cool agents say :)”

1x17: “the source of the attack was some sort of pineapple” “like the fruit?” (also forgetting she never apologized to Lucy)

1x20: while looking like a beaten bloody piñata “I’m fine just some bruises...and some minor head trauma...” “i did not have Lucy surf quotes on my bingo card today”

1x21: “about the power of love!” -silence- “...anyway i think that’ll help us get through to David” (we were all raving about this scene and how cute it was, but we don't want to acknowledge all the work it took to get here?)

The writers have been showing it all season, this is just who she is the more you get to know her, not liking it is different than ooc

Kate just sucks at talking and processing her emotions on the spot and can’t always immediately formulate a response right away whether you’re her boss or her colleague or her ex girlfriend (she ghosted a girl for months for god’s sakes which is probably honestly where most of the ‘this feels ooc for Kate’ criticism comes from and it’s hard to blame anyone for that because wth Kate, but it also serves as the biggest indictment of how her lack of social skills has effected her life and now it’s finally catching up to her)

a lot of people call Whistler rushing in without thought or backup to be ooc, and while they’ve shown that she’s smart and good at thinking things through (figuring out a way to help the team in 1x06, with the Clark Lohan thing in 1x10, using David's wife’s fate as leverage to get through to him in 1x21), that’s been behind the scenes we never saw her do field work during her stint at the DIA so there’s nothing really to base the ooc claim on, the first time we see her in the field is in 1x17 (she only transferred to the FBI 3 episodes ago) when she rushes in and Lucy has to stop her so it’s not out of the ordinary for her to do something similar in 1x20 at Agent Jones’s house, Whistler in the office and Whistler out in the field are different because they’re different environments entirely (and she’s new to the field)

i dont think the people calling Whistler ooc for acting goofy and socially inept would call her ooc for turning down a promotion anywhere from 1x06-1x13 to stay close to Lucy after early Whistler was billed as ambitious and career-driven (but i guess it’s different because it’s romantic without being awkward...), if we’re going to throw that term out there we should examine all her actions that way not just the one’s we maybe don’t like

you can criticize the writing and the show all you want we all have different opinions we’re not all going to agree on how good Whistler’s development has gone, but i don’t think it’s fair to say any public grand gesture or Kate acting ‘dumb’ is completely out of left field, yes she was more cold and distant and mean earlier (and maybe you preferred that way more) but as the show has progressed you get to see a different more shy, uncertain, dorky side of her and that's not ooc that's just how humans are

she’s been slowly stepping out of her comfort zone all season and Lucy’s influence on her has inspired her to finally make a running jump into the deep end to win her back because she loves her and that’s how much she means to her (my favorite post about the grand gesture written before we knew it was a singing gesture LOL) that's the whole point isn't it? the power of love! has changed Whistler! she's never felt this way about anyone before and is clearly woefully inexperienced in love, she misses Lucy and wants to win her back no matter what so she's willing to listen to anything and do anything to show her she's all in and wants to be with her and only her! love makes us do crazy things, but it makes sense after a season of pain and regret

unfortunately for some people, Kate also happens to be less competent socially so that’s going to manifest in truly awkward (and secondhand embarrassing) ways, but she’s always been capable of this because she’s a multifaceted character and the writers have been showing us that

#ncis hawaii #kate whistler #kacy #all the criticism and thoughts ive seen on tumblr has been cool and fine but the twitter folks just make my head explode #its like every time kate shows a not Cool trait shes ooc? theres a reason everyone calls her the dumbest smart person (affectionate)#shes got one braincell for work! whenever she uses it for her personal life or for following ernies advice is laughs at her and explodes #imma be real this is kinda petty and ranty bc of one specific kate stan on twitter i keep seeing firhrgjrg #like i cant even enjoy their fics bc they start all of them with 'i wont do u dirty like the writers have'#like wym the writers have treated me fine i loved 1x20 i loved all the kacy angst lol #like yas and tori are great and theyre 50% of it but who wrote the lines they say that make me love lucy and kate more and more everyday #also i dont think its possible at all for a character to be ooc...in season 1 like the writers barely know them yet how can i claim i do #like ok you like the character but then you hate the writers for half the traits theyve given them so do you actually like them???#this is all incoherent and im sorry #yes i still dislike the serenade but like i understand the point of the big gesture and why u would go there #get you a hot lesbian mess who can do both!#im delirious i probably shouldnt post this and ill regret it but i will anyway #like i saw someone ask what have they done to you whistler #oh idk given her a personality??? made her likeable and made the audience want to root for her? like yall LMAO

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