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#and like first of all what a thing to comment absolutely hilarious
aurae-rori · 1 day
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DR RATIO ANALYSIS PT 3 BUT IT'S JUST GAY
Now, you might be saying - "Aurae, you've done part one, and part two, so why do we need a part three?" The answer is because of two things - one. I made a deal with the Tumblr Peoples that if one of my posts hit more than 50 likes I would do this analysis. Two. Mihoyo is making this shit canon. I CAN'T MAKE THIS UP. So, let's delve into my usual disclaimer, as we might have some new people joining us for the first time with my insanity.
I have been researching psychology personally for about six years, so although I am not a professional (crawling my way there through the education system. I will be one, one day.) I do have some experience with analyzing homosexuals. Psychology hours, my children. They don't call me "chronically cooking" for nothing. Maybe I should change my url to that...
NOW THAT MY LONG AHH DISCLAIMER IS OVER, LET'S GET INTO THIS! It's time to deconstruct these homosexuals like a modern airplane, because they might as well be taking off with how canon they are.
"It can't be canon," they say, but then Mihoyo DOES PAID SPONSORSHIPS WITH THESE FUCKERS BEING GAY. We've all seen the paid partnership edit. We've all seen the video where Aventurine has the audio of "nice rack" as he talks to Dr. Ratio. PAID SPONSORSHIPS. Now, if that piece of evidence isn't enough for you - let's dive into their actual relationship, which is just a HOMOSEXUAL MESS. I will be focusing more on how Dr. Ratio sees this guy as this is a Dr. Ratio analysis™, but hey, the crumbs.. we eat 'em all. Amen.
Let's start off (I say as I write this part three days later) about how people are like, 'Aven is Ratio's favourite idiot' WRONG. Ratio does NOT consider Aventurine to be an idiot and knows that he is smart and capable in his own right. While Ratio is book smart, Aven is extremely street smart and holds his own very well. Ratio does not consider Aventurine to be an idiot as he takes off his plaster head around him and actually indulges in his whims around him. This is a blatant showcase of fondness because although he is emotionally constipated and can't be affectionate through words without sounding semi-backhanded because he's never had true affection in his life, he showcases his love through actions rather than words. He's just bad at showing love, okay? But he does love Aven. Or like him, to some extent, if you don't want to see them as romantic, which is fine. However, no matter what you label their bond as, it's obvious that they care for one another.
Also, the fucking ZEST FEST that was 'keeping up with Star Rail'. He says, "wait a minute - MUTUAL?" which indicates that he has respect for Aventurine in the first place. He LITERALLY TOLD US that he respects Aventurine and he was commenting on Aventurine's playstyle & everything.. also, at the end, he was here because 'I appreciate this show's dedication to knowledge' - his TONE. Kudos to the VA because that was not convincing at all. Bro was NOT here for the knowledge, bro was here to be GAY!!! Also his little own bathtub couch. We all know Aven bought it for him. Trust, I am John Hoyoverse.
"The Charming Audacity" HUH? BRO? Okay this is hilarious to me because this is the first time that we ever really see them interact with one another, and we get absolutely bitchslapped in the fact that Dr. Ratio calls this guy's audacity 'charming'. That's GAY. That's HOMOSEXUAL.
Also, comparing him to a peacock.. a very beautiful bird.... Must I say more?
Now, the part that I really want to focus on is the part where he gives the Doctor's Note to Aventurine. This shit is important. And I agree with the people who are like - Acheron helped him. Because she did. She was a big part of it and she helped Aventurine get back on his feet in the void. Dr. Ratio is not his only reason to live, but the note, showing that someone will stay by his side? Showing that someone truly cares for him? Someone who's waiting for him when he get back? This bond that he has with Dr. Ratio isn't fake. He already has a starting point to get back to - an anchor to return to. Dr. Ratio is his anchor. Whenever he goes off to do crazy shit, Veritas Ratio will be there when he returns. Because Ratio is loyal. Ratio cares. He cared enough to almost jeopardize their plan to make sure that Aventurine was going to be okay. He cares so damn much about Aventurine that he decided that this man's emotional state after the fake betrayal was more important than all of fucking Penacony.
If you want an example of "I would let the world burn for you," it's Ratio. He's a romantic not in the traditional sense, but he cares and loves Aventurine so damn much it makes my heart hurt. "Do stay alive," he says, knowing that Aventurine struggles with living. Those three words mean the whole fucking world to someone who struggles with suicidal ideation and suicidal thoughts. Someone wants you to live. Someone wants you to stay. Someone wants you by their side.
Dr. Ratio cares. Let me say that again - he cares. He banters with Aventurine, tries to create an environment where Aventurine can feel a little bit more comfortable with the two of them, even in a place as dangerous as Penacony. He will put his own life on the line for Aventurine.
He cares. He cares so damn much. I hate gay people. They make me VIOLENTLY homophobic.
Dr. Ratio after expressing his care indirectly and complimenting Aventurine indirectly: Did I do it?
Aventurine, who has caught none of the hints:
Anyway, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
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happy 3rd birthday to the hottest thing bastille has ever done anyone but me x nightmares (24.08.2020)
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gendercomsumer · 2 months
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hiii ^^ I would like some headcanons for riddle, malleus, vil and rook with a fem mc that accidentally ends up making them laugh (because what she says or does is very random xd maybe an example would be like jennifer lawrence sjjs she is very funny ) well that's all, thanks and take care <3
Riddle, Malleus, Vil, and Rook with an S/O who can make them laugh with the most random things
A/N: Hello to you too Anon! I know this has been in my inbox for gods knows how long- But thank you still for sending this in! I hope this is to your liking! I actually did watch some Jennifer Lawrence videos for inspiration and I have to agree the comedic timing she has is perfect!! I also used some google translate in Rooks part so it may not be accurate ^^;
Characters: Riddle, Malleus, Vil, and Rook
Warnings: Cursing to a mild degree, playful mention of stalking in Rooks (I love him I swear!!!), lightly proof read
Fem!Reader
Riddle Rosehearts
Riddle is a bit difficult to get a good genuine laugh out of, at least in my opinion.
Like sure you have a small chuckle when he finds something amusing, but i feel like it'd be a bit of a challenge to get a good genuine laugh out of.
Then you came in, saying the strangest things at the most unrelated times!
And Ace and Deuce find this absolutely hilarious
You'll say the most out of pocket shit with the straightest face and somehow half the people around you start to laugh some others breaking out in giggles
Ace and Deuce have definitely talked about this 'talent' of yours, at least in their words.
You had said some of these strange comments around Riddle and he found them strange a bit endearing as well
I'd think the time you got a good laugh out of him was when you had come with him to take care of some of the hedgehogs
The two of you were sitting in the grass some of the hedgehogs were playing while a few had decided that climbing on the two of you was a good way to pass the time
One had wandered up onto your head and almost fell off but luckily you were able to save the little guy before he fully hit the ground
After Riddle worriedly checked the little guy over you while looking over his shoulder at the small animal said:
"Well at least we know this one has no self preservation"
Unwillingly, or maybe subconsciously, a small laugh makes it's way through Riddles chest to his lips.
Well, now maybe he saw what those two were blabbering on about
Your little comments were always appreciated with Riddle
Even if they didn't cause him to laugh they did brighten his mood at least somewhat
"Yes, this one does tend to be a bit of a handful. Reminds me of a certain rose I know"
He teased before you two fell back into the pattern of caring for the small animals
More chuckles and comments to come no doubt
Malleus Draconia
At first Malleus didn't understand why the rest of Diasomnia found your remarks so comical
Yes his child of man did tend to bring a certain warmth where ever she walked
But he didn't see this as an excuse for the amount of laughter you cause people around you
Most of the remarks you make will fly over his head
I'm sorry but he seems like the kind of guy to not get the joke until you explain it to him-
Now the Thorn Prince does share a few chuckles with those around him when he finds something amusing, similar to Riddle
But it's even more difficult to get a laugh out of him considering he doesn't get a lot of the play on words type of jokes
but something abrupt and slightly out of context?
I feel like that would get some sort of laugh out of him
One day you were talking with Malleus about some of the things you did in your old world
The topic of amusement parks came up and you started listing the rides you used to go on as a child
Roller coasters, bumper cars, lazy rides where you could relax, until you blanked on the name of a ride
It was frustrating considering it was probably something simple and you would remember it after their conversation, but you wanted to keep the ball rolling
Malleus mean while was partly enjoying seeing how frustrated you got over a simple word
You really were a strange thing weren't you Child of man?
"I'm sorry Mal- I know what I'm thinking of! It's on the tip of my tongue- It's like one of those horse tornado things!"
Horse.. tornado..?
Now that got Malleus attention
he understood the other rides you described, favoring the lazy rides
but what ever this horse tornado was... it sounded.. strange, yet curious at the same time
"CAROUSELS!! FUCKING CAROUSELS, THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE CALLED!"
Malleus let out a small puff of air before he started chuckling under his breath
You truly were a strange one weren't you child of man, just like the world you came from
Malleus pressed a kiss to your forehead letting out one more chuckle before speaking
"Truly fascinating, maybe one day you could bring me to one of these 'horse tornados' you have me interested"
Sure jokes your fly over his head, but he would tease you some what for your small skips in memory
Vil Schoenheit
Now Vil, having acted in a lot of movies, (If I'm correct) Would have probably had a few good laughs in that line of work
Weather that be on set or behind the cameras
But he doesn't often let out a good laugh in public, it's not really part of the proper image he'd want to put out there
As for behind closed doors or with close friends he's definitely willing to have a laugh
And who better to bring a smile to his face than his lovely sweet potato?
Though one good moment always stuck out to him that caused him to have one of the most genuine laughs in awhile
The two of you were getting ready to go out to a fancy restaurant, courtesy of Vil of course, hair, makeup, shoes things like that
While Vil was sitting at his vanity working on his eyes when you came out of the bathroom in a stunning dress hand picked by Vil
It brought out all your best features while still being enough coverage to where it wasn't uncomfortable to wear into a public area
The two of you made idle conversation as you sat on a near by chair to slip on a matching set of heels for the dress
As you stood up in the heels to work on your own makeup you lost your balance thanks to the new height the heels provided
Although Vil was quick to catch you making sure you came no where near the floor he still was concerned
"Oh sweet potato are you alright? What happened?"
Yes looking back on it the question seemed dumb but he was concerned
but you just let out a giggle while regaining your balance before saying:
"Well I'm not sure what happened, but I remember wanting to yell 'fuck' as my last words before I embarrassed myself"
Vil took a moment while looking at you
then a chuckle escaped his lips which soon turned into the two of you sharing a small laugh
Now Vil doesn't know why he laughs at your antics, in hindsight they're just normal phrases
But maybe it's the delivery?
Or the way you smile at him?
What ever it may be it always causes a smile to grace his lips or a chuckle to be drawn from him
Sure Vil maybe all about preserving beauty and making sure he looks flawless
But if he happens to get a few smile lines because of your antics, he will never hold it against you
"Well my darling, I'm glad to hear you're alright. It would be a shame if you or your lovely dress got roughed up before we left. Now come, you still want to do your makeup don't you? Allow me to help"
Rook Hunt
Now Rook has plenty of laughs in his life
Weather that be from stalking some poor soul or a genuine laugh among friends
Rook out of the four is probably the easiest to get a laugh from
He's a joyful guy wanting to see all nature and the world has to offer! Can you blame him?
Then enters you who some how can't help but leave Rook giggling when ever you do something!
You put your tie on wrong? Oh silly Trickster aren't you just the sweetest thing!
Then comes your words which to Rook is a whole new ball park
Rook tends to hold onto every word meant for him, weather that be written or spoken out loud
His darling Tricksters words are so elegant and so sweet how could he not treasure everyone!
What really gets him chuckling and laughing is the moments when your words aren't as sweet and graceful
Cut to one day when you and Rook were in the fields often used for flying class
Rook had a desire to teach you archery so he happened to drag you along with a quiver and bow to some targets set by his hand
After the first few moments of Rook teaching you how to properly hold and aim the bow and making sure your arm guard was secure (He wouldn't want his darling trickster to get rope burn!) He let you shoot
All was going well as you hit targets in an... acceptable way
But all that seemed to end when a large gust of wind sent your best shot yet off course and into the ground
And just as Rook was about to offer some encouragement to keep going and try once more
some colorful language came from you to say the least
"Wind!? Really!?! Could you not wait two fucking minuets!! Nooooo! You just had to thro my best shot off course you-!"
Now don't get Rook wrong he hold the sweet words you two share close to his heart
But there was just something about you yelling at the wind of all things that caused him to start laughing
As he laid on the grass of the field eyes closed as he laughed
Oh? It seems your colorful language is directed towards him now? Even better!
"Trickster- reine de mon coeur! Please I believe- I believe you have shared plenty enough words with the wind today!"
A/N: This is actually the first time I've taken a good look at the name of Malleus' dorm. Dia = Dragon. Somnia = Sleep
Diasomnia = Dragon of sleep
just a ting i found silly :)
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thebirdsandthebats · 7 months
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Okay @s-p-r-i-n-g-t-i-m-e I’m sure you know plenty BUT I’m going to use your wonderful and hilarious comment on this as an excuse to talk about Bernard, bc I realized recently that there are plenty of ppl who haven’t read most of the comics he’s been in. So get ready for my long overdue:
UNPACKING BERNARD DOWD + HIS TRAUMA (for those who cannot keep up with comics but want to get to know him)
So to start, Tim met Bernard years ago ofc, when they were in high school. It’s established pretty quick that Bernard is an extremely Unserious guy LMAO, the first thing he does is literally circle Tim and try to feel him out socially, see what kind of guy he is. He’s the kind of guy who gets himself in trouble with his big mouth, and seems to enjoy poking at Tim and testing his patience. By the time we meet Bernard again in the recent years, he’s grown a lot, but at his core he’s still the light-hearted, fun, goofy guy with very strong opinions. Just less stand-offish, maybe
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Throughout the time Tim spends at this school though, Bernard does experience some wild shit. He lost Darla (somebody he really cared about), he experienced a shooting at his school, and then Darla came back from the dead, kind of scared the hell out of him, and used him to contact Tim again. It was kind of played for laughs, but like. That’s gotta fuck you up. (Robin #140)
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Obviously this is the kind of thing that maybeee has a lasting effect on you. And BECAUSE Tim Drake: Robin got cut so short and the writer had to rush to wrap up the series, we’re left to fill in a lot of gaps and draw conclusions about the years we didn’t see Bernard ourselves. But we absolutely get some insight as to his life after Tim left that school and we stopped seeing him in the comics. Spoiler alert: it was hard.
In TDR, Bernard discusses the the cult that he’d been in that Tim saved him from in Urban Legends. He says that “he’d accepted himself”, but others hadn’t. Obviously there’s the natural reading that he means his queerness (which has me chewing through drywall), but I think that he’s speaking very broadly too. Bernard is a very odd example of a civilian, because he’s always getting dragged into things much bigger than him. And even before that, he had his big ideas, his conspiracies, his loud personality. He tended to rub people the wrong way in high school. Then in issue #7 of TDR (the Bernard pov issue my most beloved, weird pacing aside) Bernard refers to this “oozy, sticky feeling” that he ALWAYS feels when Tim isn’t around. He says when he’s alone it’s harder to put one foot in front of the other. To keep GOING. To wake up every day.
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I think that Bernard has always felt like an outcast. (Robin #121, he doesn’t fit into any clique). He wasn’t as okay with it as he acted. And I think he wasn’t getting any attention from his parents. (Batman: Urban Legends #5, Bernard’s parents nonchalance to the days leading up to his kidnapping)
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So just like Bernard explained to Tim, that feeling got bad. and he wanted to let go. The chaos monsters, the cult, all of it was a means to an end. But then Tim agreed to see him again, and I think that sparked something in him. Because he started learning to fight. When he was tied down to that alter and Tim was saving him, I think it fully sank in to Bernard that he didn’t want to die. Reconnecting with Tim gave him hope and made him really feel something good for the first time in ages.
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So now that they’re dating after the cult fiasco, we get to know this current Bernard. A less goading, maybe calmer Bernard. But he’s still himself, of course, rambling about his ideas and making bad jokes and sticking to his guns (he has NEVER been a pushover, no idea where people get that idea?). I think a lot of people complained that Bernard mellowed out too much in terms of attitude, but I think if he seems “nicer” it’s because 1) he’s grown now. It’s been a while since we last saw him, and he’s clearly changed a lot. And 2) because he’s dating Tim now. He likes him a lot, and he’s an affectionate partner. He wants to lift Tim up.
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But the fact that he was pulled into a cult still remains. And as lighthearted as Bernard tries to be, that traumatic experience still happened. It said in Urban Legends #5 while Tim was searching for him that Bernard had welts on his arms and legs and had been acting different, so it’s not like he was just snatched up on a whim. He’d spent significant time there. For those who haven’t read much abt the ways cult trauma specifically can fuck you up, I recommend doing a search if you’re in a good headspace for that and want to understand him more. because it’s pretty bad.
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And then! yeah. you guessed it. Bernard gets kidnapped again. Chained up next to a BOMB that’s counting down. RIGHT WHEN HE’S WORKING ON HEALING FROM ALMOST BEING SACRIFICED BY A CULT.
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And surely this can’t get crazier. He’s almost died twice in the past 6 months. except, remember his parents? In TD:R #7, we really see a little more of his relationship with his parents. He doesn’t live up to their standards, and his dad specifically seems to just want to argue with him. The restaurant they’re at is attacked, and everything goes to shit, and. you know, I think these panels really speak for themselves.
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And for the record, when it’s revealed that everyone is seeing their worst fears, Bernard’s parents fears are not about him.
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So now Bernard has to deal with that. And we start to see that Bernard is really not as okay as he’s tried to be. He keeps a baseball bat by his door because he’s been kidnapped twice now. And just when he’d likely thought things couldn’t get worse, he heard the Chaos Monsters were back. I can’t imagine he feels safe. He lashes out for the first time since all this has happened and yells at Kate and Tim, because while they’re doing what they feel is necessary to save more people (AND I DONT BLAME THEM AT ALL), Bernard can’t talk about it.
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And I will forever be sad and insist that TD:R got cancelled too soon, just before we could get into the really juicy stuff, because things had to be wrapped up pretty quick and this was the only comic Bernard was consistently appearing in. But when Tim is giving himself up to the chaos monsters, Bernard goes out and rallies anyone he knows can help. Things were rushed because there was no more time to flesh out the story the way it could have been, but I’m including these panels just because I love Bernard Audacity Dowd using a fucking flashlight and shadow puppet to call Batman. geeking out for a minute. And then leading the battalion to save Tim with a SLEDGEHAMMER. gay people rule.
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So yeah! While I see the vision of how a lot of Bernard’s trauma was meant to be semi-resolved and let him come to peace after saving Tim back, we just didn’t have the time for him to heal properly. I’d give anything to get inside his brain again. UHH IF YOU READ THIS I HOPE YOU LOVE BERNARD NOW and don’t come at me if I left something out, some of my comics aren’t with me rn. Bonus TimBer for the road:
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genshin-obsessed · 3 months
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You smack his butt!! | HSR
This started as a joke between my friend and I but I think I took it too seriously. As you know, our genshin and star rail husbands have the best booties and yanno, I kinda would smack them. So! This is you, doing just that!
Just a short thingie: sorry for the lack of updates, I suffer from chronic headaches and they absolutely ruin my days sometimes. Those days, I can’t do anything and they’ve been lasting longer than usual nowadays. I’m good now!
Characters: Dan Heng, Jing Yuan, Blade, Luka, and Argenti
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▻ Dan Heng
He’ll let out a yelp if he didn’t expect it. His eyes widen and they immediately shoot to you.
You just shrug, throw out a comment about his butt looking great today and just walk away like it didn’t happen.
He stands there stunned for a good 2 minutes before he goes on his way.
Doesn’t realize it but he’s just a bit more confident after that. So please, do it again.
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▻ Jing Yuan
He has and will do it back. His first reaction is usually “woah!” And then he’ll just laugh at it.
As we have previous discussed, Jing Yuan is a very touchy husband. He will grab your butt every time he gets the chance. It’s his. You’re his. Don’t be stingy.
Jing Yuan actually loves it when you slap his butt. It’s a confidence booster.
Come on. Do it again, you know you wanna.
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▻ Bladie
“What the hell!?” His eyes widen and he immediately looks back at you, unsure if he was hallucinating or not.
It’s usually hilarious. So you’ll laugh, apologize and hug him, and gently pat his butt which makes him stiffen.
It’s not that he hates it. Not at all. It’s just so unexpected! Like, you don’t do it every day. It’ll just be a random smack so he’s never expecting it.
No, he likes it. It’s fun. It’s cute. Just make sure it’s in private and not in front of others or it’ll fluster him and he’ll be a little irritated.
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▻ Luka
Ahahahaha
It’s ass slapping war now! He will get you back every single time +1 extra. He is a lot more careful, so he doesn’t hurt you. But he’s getting you back.
Luka finds it the cutest thing and will question anyone who questions it. “You let them slap your butt?”/ “duh, it belongs to them. Of course they can.”
Best to do it before a fight, it just makes him feel great. He’ll win even faster after that.
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▻ Argenti
Very unexpected but he has to admit, he kinda likes it. You’re already special enough so why not?
Isn’t used to it, unsurprisingly, but does eventually become accustomed. You don’t do it every single day, but he has noticed it becoming more and more common.
He’s taken after you. If he sees a good opportunity, he will give you a gentle smack. Very gentle. More like he grabbed it as he stepped closer to you.
He won’t ever reel his arm back. Never. That would hurt you so he tends to be overly gentle than risking hurting you.
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y2niki · 7 months
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# thats when <3
→ bf! 니키 x you
warnings? none, gn pronouns!
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when he...
kisses your cheek; he whispers soft words of love, and he has the the sweetest smile gracing his face. “you’re so beautiful”, “you’re my everything”, “I love you forever”. thats when you know you’re lucky to have him.
says the dumbest things possible that come out absolutely hilarious. “why do some people say zed instead of zee? does zed mean multiple zees?” it gets you cracking up. thats when you know you’ll always smile whenever you are around him
grabs your waist and pulls you close, your chest resting against his, the way he whines that he misses you as he hugs you close which always leaves your heart racing. thats when you know no matter what, it’ll always be like love at first sight.
dedicates things to you. when he shouts out “this one’s for you babe” and your face flushes, with embarrassment knowing he’ll miss. thats when you know he is unashamed of loving you.
stargazes with you. he looks to the area of the sky he says he swears he’s seen something like this before. he says he’s seen it in you. that same beauty. thats when you know you feel as if you too are floating through those stars in the sky. 
is that loser boyfriend from american high school movies, with his matching socks, matching t-shirts that say “I love weird, I’m weird” he is glued to you 24/7 and claims he can’t detach himself from his soulmate. also in those instagram comments, boy, i know he’s crazy. he’s all like wow you single hottie? schmoking hot 🔥🔥🔥 their boyfriend is so lucky (im the boyfriend). thats when you know that between you two, your love will always be sweet.
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quill-is-brainstorming · 11 months
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I've just re-read the short lived duel that Aeneas and Achilles have in Book 20 of the Iliad and it's actually the most hilarious fucking thing.
So it starts out with Apollo disguising himself as Lycaon, one of Priam's many sons, and telling to have a go at Achilles. Keep in mind that this is post-Patroclus Achilles. Aka: berserk Achilles. Aka: so fucking mad he would fight a literal river Achilles.
Aeneas, who is capable of critical thinking, says he doubts he can actually take him on. He also references a time when he was herding cattle on Mount Ida and Achilles ambushed him, adding that the only reason he survived then was because Zeus gave him enough strength to book it (cracking up the official times that he's been saved by a god from certain death to 3, you go dude!).
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However, after a bit of back and forth and a ton of hyping up on Apollo's part, Aeneas decides to try anyway.
Like, what could possibly go wrong?
Achilles notices Aeneas charging at him and he begins to taunt him. It's something among the lines of: "I'm sorry, are you, background trojan character #61, actually gonna try and beat me? And then what? Do you think that Priam will reward you in some way? Maybe making you king after him? Well it's BULLSHIT, because Priam fucked so much that your chances of succeeding him are basically 0. Ahah. Loser."
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Now, you'd think that maybe Aeneas got enraged at the comment and attacked him, or maybe he even got scared and backed down, but NOPE. What does Aeneas do?
Well, first of all, he insults Achilles' insults, comparing his bickering to that of a child. Literally, "I heard third graders do better than that." And then he decides to list his and Hector's entire fucking family tree.
You know that part of the Bible that's like "this guy sired this other guy, and this other guy sired yet another guy" and so on? It's basically that.
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So after he's done with all that, Aeneas states that while he'd love to have a battle of insults with Achilles, because according to him he's actually very good at insulting people (his words, not mine), they should probably throw hands now. Achilles agrees.
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The duel is shortlived and Aeneas gets his ass handed to him. Badly. As expected. And he's about die when ✨️POV shift✨️ we're not on Olympus where Poseidon, Hera and Athena are watching this absolute train wreck go down.
Poseidon, pitying Aeneas, suddenly goes on a rant. It's something among the lines of: "come on guys, look at him, he's just a little guy! He literally has no stakes in this war, he doesn't deserve to die here! He even gives us lots of gifts and sacrifices, he's literally such a nice guy. How can we do this to him!?
...oh and also he's part of some prophecy, Zeus would get mad if he died."
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The fact that the way it's worded makes it sound like Aeneas being part of a literal prophecy is an afterthought to him absolutely floors me, Poseidon is literally just attached to a random dude that's fighting on the opposite side to his because he thinks he's nice.
After all that Hera is pretty unimpressed and states that she really doesn't care if our man lives or dies as neither her or Athena have ever saved a Trojan from death, she however adds that Poseidon is free to do whatever he wants.
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The literal moment Hera stops talking, Poseidon lunges down from Olympus and onto the battlefield to look for the two combatants. When he does, he saves Aeneas like only he can do.
You know how when Diomedes first tries to kill Aeneas, Aphrodite gently folds her hands around him to shield him? There's none of that here. Poseidon just runs up to him and literally flings the motherfucker.
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It literally says that he flies "high in the air". It's like a Looney Toons sketch.
So Aeneas lands and, while he's obviously a bit dazed, Poseidon proceeds to call him a madman and essentially tells him to never do something stupid like that again and just wait until Achilles is dead, then he'll be able to murder Achaeans to his heart's content. Aeneas is fine with that.
Achilles, who just saw his opponent just get yeeted into the fucking sky, just shrugs and goes "welp, guess that guy's off limits, I'm gonna go kill someone else now I guess lol".
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This entire scene is pure fucking gold and the fact that I've literally never seen anyone talk about it just breaks my heart.
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magicalink · 7 months
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Do they fuck or do they make love?
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Headcanons with no specific AU! Mainly character x reader but it ended up implying character x character ships too in sime characters. I wrote this headcanons and when I was reading them to my boyfriend (who is my only beta reader) he started giving his opinions about them and I found his comments absolutely hilarious so I decided to include them! 🤣 First go my headcanons about the character and then my boyfriend's comments indented. Some of them are unhinged 🤣
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Venti: Depends on the partner and the situation. He adores making delicate love to you but he's always up for a quickie in the middle of the house, the forest, anywhere and anytime you're willing. And oh Archons, is he intense when he does any of the two! He likes sex to be THE experience, and he tends to be over the top when it comes to it. Also an uncontrollable moaning machine.
Bf: Nah, he fucks. All the time. Cuz he is drunk all the time. We all know his only love is alcohol. I agree on the moaning machine part though, he is loud and doesn't care if others hear.
Diluc: Makes love. He has no time for sex if it's not with the love of his life. Doing it with him is a ceremony to remember. Expect long sessions full of kisses, heartwarming confessions, and body worshipping.
Bf: Accurate. Total gentleman. He only makes love. And possibly the first time you do it he will propose to you the morning after.
Childe: Fucks. He is all in for the adrenaline and pleasure in life, whether it's battle or it's lust. He wants to dive in and feel as much as he can,the more intense and dangerous, the better.
Bf: A fucking degenerate. He loves violence and competition and if he doesn't get it in sex then he's not interested. More of a masochist than a sadist, don't be surprised if you fight him and he ends up insinuating sexually to you. Especially if you're winning the fight. He wants to get beaten up. To sum up, he has a very weird way of "making love"...
Xiao: Makes love. To him, it's something sacred that should be shared with the people you love and respect the most. Will worship every inch of your body and be desperate to convey his feelings to you. Will focus completely on your pleasure, so make sure to calm him down and reward him a bit too!
Bf: Turbo virgin who self cock blocks all the time. He is always afraid: of hurting you, of making you uncomfortable, of saying something wrong, of looking at the wrong place...If you moan he asks you if you're okay. He gets soft all the time because he is afraid of hurting you. He has suicidal thoughts half the encounter. But yeah he makes love.
Albedo: Who knows, really. He's still studying what's the difference between the two. And he sure is doing an experiment and carefully studying it when he has sex with you. To be perfectly clear, he loves you, but this whole thing about sex and human relationships is new to him so he's trying to understand all these new feelings. 
Bf: "Making love? Fucking? What is that? I'm the chalkman." Doesnt have a dick and if he had, he is not interested in human relationships at all. But if you manage to fuck him he would be writing down notes about it the whole time.
Scaramouche: Fucks because he thinks giving in to love will make him weak.💔
Bf: Fucks and he only thinks about his mommy issues while doing it. He only fucks to dissociate. And if you treat him with basic human kindness he will start seeing you as a maternal figure so be careful.
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Wanderer: Now understands that lying about his feelings is the true form of weakness and doesn't want to waste a single more second of life, he makes love to you making sure he makes crystal clear how he feels about you: in the most explicit, toe-curling, fluid dropping way he can. If you like it hard, prepare to be smacked until you can't sit the following day.
Bf: He's gone to therapy so the mommy issues are better but he's still annoying af. He plays hard to get and pretends not to be committed but the truth is he's just being tsundere and hiding the fact that he is eating from the palm of your hand.
Kazuha: Makes the finest comfiest love in the world. Fucks like a horndog when he's drunk or high but won't stop telling you how crazily he loves you while doing it.
Bf: He is high af the vast majority of the time and during sex, it's no exception. If you manage to fuck him sober he will be the super reflexive and emotional type that cries during sex. But he fucks you lovely but won't make love to you, he only makes love with the love of his life Tomo, the rest of you are his cattle. He's a super friendly guy so after sex he will share his weed with you.
Gorou: He's a gentleman who wants to become good at making love but is extremely shy and gets flustered easily so he fucks sloppily. An adorable sight to behold!
Bf: I agree he is a little gentleman.
Tighnari: Makes love. Except when he's in heat. Then you have to be prepared if you wanna handle him. 
Bf: another stoner. He would experiments with aphrodisiacs all the time, makimg them into weird salts or sth.
Cyno: Very similar to his jokes. He's completely sure he's giving his best at making love to you or Tighnari and showing you his devotion, but his poker face, stoic manners, and scary appearance make him look like he's angry fucking you. He doesn't get what he's doing wrong and doesn't do it on purpose. But it doesn't matter since you know him very well and not only are you used to his antics but you also have become sensitive to his very subtle changes of expression.
Bf: He can't help bit to tell bad jokes when he fucks. Self cockblocks himself all the time: either he goes soft in the middle of the act because he's laughing at his own jokes or he makes so cringy jokes that his partner gets uncomfortable and leaves. He can't help it, if he doesn't get them our he will explode.
Itto: Fucks wildly but it's his way of making love. He is just too brute to control the size and strength of his body, especially when he is under the effect of the feral feelings he has for you. 
He loves you so much he can't help but to pick you up like you're a potato sack and swirl you in the air like you are a rag doll and take you with him everywhere. When he hugs you he leaves you breathless, when he kisses you he leaves you all sloppy and when he fucks you…well he leaves you sore for weeks but let's say it's totally worth it!
Bf: totally disagree! It would be so hard to fuck him, he would be clueless and friend zone or family zone you all the time. If you tell him you wanna be more than friends he would say "Superfriends??" With the biggest smile. And if you manage to fuck him he would be super careful, he knows he is a brute and is scared of hurting you.
Thoma: Makes super lovey-dovey love. Always double-checks if you're comfortable and enjoying the experience. Knowing he's making you feel good makes him glad and arouses him so don't be shy and tell him if he's doing it well!
Bf: nononono, absolutely wrong, you're blinded by his looks. He is a degenerate masochist and he only fucks Ayato. They have this weird dynamic where he literally acts as his dog.
Ayato: Another one who depends on the partner and situation. Honestly, he's so overworked that he desperately needs a good fuck. Ok maybe many of them. But not only he doesn't have the time, but also he can't be seen sleeping around due to his political position, so probably he'll only get to have sex when he finally finds the person he wants to marry. He hopes to be able to marry someone he actually loves instead of marrying for political reasons. So if you're the lucky one, expect heated sessions of lovemaking from this touch-starved man! Also, he'll love you but that doesn't mean he's gonna stop being a merciless tease 👀
Bf: Degenerate sadist who only has eyes for Thoma and makes him go through so much weird stuff they don't even remember what is to have normal sex. Tying him up and putting him on a leash is the most normal thing out of what they do.
Kaeya: Fucks. He lives for the spectacle and the mystique of it. Also, he's super popular around Mondstadt and wherever he goes so he sleeps around a lot. He has tons of admirers from both sexes and he makes sure to reward their love and devotion. He knows exactly how to please people, how to exacerbate his natural beauty and how to leave them crazy for him. He's simply so erotically natured. Probably the most experienced guy you know in the field. 
Bf: Agree. Turbo slut. No more comments needed. If he manages to open his heart he can be sensitive. But that only happened once and it was with his own reflection in a mirror.
Heizou: Fucks lovingly 💕 He loves teasing and making his partner flustered. People and relationships are simply so fun and fascinating to him. And when he gets to be sexually intimate with someone it's even better! If you end up involved with him, be prepared to be taken to your limits.
Bf: Another degenerate. Probably makes you pretend you're a criminal to chase you around town. Pretty sadistic and I can imagine him having yandere tendencies. A cool guy though. When he is not horny.
Al Haitam: Zero interested in the matter. Until he met you. He is learning everything from scratch and even though he's always been a fast learner in everything, this subject is particularly hard since he needs to stop rationalizing and let his feelings take control for once. But his feelings for you are pretty intense, so little by little he is learning how to make love to you 💚
Bf: I imagine him as a turbo aspirator 3000. He would suck your soul out of your genitals. If you manage him to make him interested in sex, which is highly unlikely because he is like 0 interested in any kind of human contact. I picture him having sex with Kaveh and Kaveh would be a pillow princess and Haitham despite being the kind of guy who always sits down and just reads books he would be restless in bed, doing all the job and moving him around.
Kaveh: Another sweet-sweet love guy! He'll make sure to treat you like a princess and spoil you rotten in and out of the bedroom. He'll do the corniest expressions of chivalry but please bear with him, it genuinely comes from his heart. But if you want to see a more sloppy and wrecked side of him, you can always seduce him after he goes to the bar…
Bf: Sassy pillow princess. Or prince? Idk how to say it. He doesn't do anything but he will be all the time criticizing or praising what you do like a talent show judge. "Come on? Is it the first time you suck a cock or what?" You can imagine this kind of behavior is what infuriates Al Haitham and motivates him to go feral and fuck him around the whole house until he shuts the fuck up.
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BONUS: This is an old draft but now that Neuvillete and Wriostheley are out, we couldn't let them out! So for this, we are interchanging roles, my bf will give you his headcanons and I will comment!
Bf: I'm 100% sure both Neuvie and Wriot are completely opposite in bed from their personalities in public. Our chivalrous and calm Neuvie is a pasional beast in bed. He is unsatiable, he is a dragon after all. Gives me the same vibes as Zhong Li who acts super calm but when fucking Childe he destroys 3 hotel rooms every night (exactly the type Childe loves. He got a crush on him when he struck him down at Fontaine's court. I'm sure Zhong Li will get jealous when he finds out and we will have some dragon drama going on) Back to Neuvie, he is super feral but he doesn't fuck, he makes love. It's his draconic way of making love. He is also very emotional and if he likes you, after having sex and having calmed down, he will open his wallet and start showing you the pictures of his 300 Melusine daughters and tell you their names and each of their jobs. He is a very proud dad.
Wriothesley loves you from a distance. While you fuck he is super sweet and loving, but during everyday life, he sucks at showing his feelings. He reminds me of the dad of Komi San, super silent but full of love. He communicates through glances (like a dog). Everyone thinks he is a bad boy but he's a super sentimental guy (won't admit it though) If you give him a gift he will treasure it forever and if someone breaks it or steals it from him he will beat them up.
One of his phrases would be "If something happens to my schmoochpsiepups I will kill everyone in Teyvat and then myself," and when he messes up with you for being unable to show his emotions he goes to a karaoke and sings "Baka Mitai" all depressed. He has 0 emotional intelligence and would go there often, crying "Oh, I wanted to tell Y/N how much I love them before they went away and I just groaned 'hmmm' AGAIN 😭😭".
YET ANOTHER BONUS: If Neuvillete and Wriothesley were in a romantic relationship, I'm sure Neuvie would tell him about all of his Melusine daughters. Wriot would act all cold and as if he didn't care but in fact he remembers all their names and thinks about them as his adoptive daughters. Don't be surprised if you walk down the street and see a Melusine falling down and he rescues her and goes to buy her an ice cream cone. He is a proud dad too.
Me: I have no comments. I agree with everything. And Wriot singing Baka Mitai would be amazing, he has the voice of Jotaro and Erwin after all.
FINAL THOUGHTS: Wow this post was longer than intended. AND ONLY NOW I realize we left Lyney and Zhong Li out. I guess bc to me Lyney is kinda teen coded? I feel like they wasted so much husband material making him look so young. I've seen the fandom drawing him as an adult and he looks so hansome. And both my bf and I rambled about Zhong Li but we forgot to include an entry for him 😂 He says it's ok because he's tied to Tartaglia and we spoke about him in Tartaglia's section 😂 God we are a disaster. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the post, whether you found the headcanons hot or my bf's comments funny. He is scared of getting cancelled though 😂
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mischiefmaker615 · 7 months
Text
Interior Motive
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Summary: a simple game of truth or dare brings out one of your greatest fantasies
Rating: R
Requested By: @LiahAerians (Wattpad)
Your cheeks turned absolutely red when Natasha leaned away from you with a smirk. Upon entering this truth or dare game, you’ve stepped into it with confidence.. until she had to get Loki involved.
Another one of Tony’s famous parties, and as usual- to much booze, leads to other kinds of festivities. Usually involving teenager games just to give Tony a shot with any women that breathed under the roof, hilariously no one has asked him truth or dare yet.
Even Loki- who sat away from the group, pretended not to be paying attention but even he got dragged into this the moment you told Nat dare. Of course.. he didn’t know he was playing yet.
So far Thor has bailed to the next room when he got dared to see how many pop tarts he could eat, Steve gave us a to-long monologue of the first time he “did it”, and Bruce had to go order everyone pizza. Of course Natasha’s dare had to be sexual.. probably because she was the only one on earth that knew you had a major crush with the god with his nose in a book.
To many nights you’ve fantasized about him, countless times you’ve lost hours of sleep and felt your eyes drifting to his form whenever he entered the same room. You both had a respectful understanding of friendship where it consisted of small talk, most of the time him throwing around teasing comments that always made you red faced and loss of words. You’ve felt he’s watched you to, even making an effort to talk to you yet ignore everyone else around him. you even subtly tried bending down to pick up stupid things to show the shape of your ass, shy but confidence driven but no one has ever made a verbal move. Or a physical one to your disappointment.. until now.
‘’I hate you and may love you for this..’’ you hiss at Nat as you got rid of your blush and took a deep breath to call in all the confidence your body could muster. You knew you should have second thought about wearing this short of a dress but you’d just have to work with it as you stood up from the couch.
Smoothing out the mid-thigh dress, having gone with a silky black, you smoothed it down and Tony got small hints as he smirked and put on some not-so-kid-friendly grinding music. Giving him a look, you ignored the awkward awareness that everyone was looking at you while you made your way to your target that raised his eyes with a questionable look and the book lowering ever so slightly.
Once your eyes met his as you made your way towards him, walking slowly with your hips swaying with each step and a sultry look in your eyes, you said a metal prayer of thanks that the booze was kicking in where your buzz tucked away your shy feeling.
‘’what are you-‘’ Loki questioned as you carefully removed the book from his hands while he leaned back as you moved forward, straddling your hips as his eyes searched your face and body as he tried to figure out the scene.
‘’and hear I thought you liked a bit of mischief?’’ you smirked as you ran your hands up his arms so they could rest on his shoulders, his hands hovering as he raised a brow at you with parted lips.
‘’your playing a dangerous game darling, I’m trying to decide what your motive is..’’ he replied in a quiet voice only you could hear until his tone of voice changed when you began to grind on his bulge, hiding your impressed expression to find out just how big he was. Your fantasies apparently have been correct..
‘’an end goal could be a motive..’’ you whisper in his ear as you sway and rotate your hips to the beat of the music, feeling his hands slowly rest against your thighs where your dress apparently decided to rise up from. At least your backside was covered so the others wouldn’t get a free show other than..
‘’and what exactly is this end goal?’’ he smirked, his finger tips on your thighs pressing into your skin ever so slightly while his thumbs stroked your skin, making it a bit hard to concentrate as you kept at it.
Even your hands slowly glided up his shoulders to rest on either side of his neck, your own finger tips playing with his hair while your noses threatened to touch as you leaned forward. Your eyes peaked at his lips teasingly before going back to his beautiful blue eyes, a danger in them in which you knew you started.
‘’to see if it is even possible to bring a god to his knees.’’ You whisper, feeling his bulge harden as you felt yourself get aroused by the second same as he. Your answer almost made him chuckle as lust seemed to make his eyes dilate and his hands moved to your hips where he held you firm to subtly grind his hips up to your own, so subtly where the others behind you couldn’t even see it.
"Making plans to spend so much one-on-one time with me like this will make me think that you are perhaps falling for me. It's not wise to get my hopes up like that, Liah. I prefer to be the teaser, not the one being teased."
The way your name flowed off his lips every time was enough to make you gush from between your legs, and you knew he knew it as he rose his hips up and moved your hips forward and back, your instincts making you try to hump him but the setting of the whole thing forced yourself to refrain, not wanting a whole scene from the Avengers behind you still and you were thankful the music was to loud to here anything that might be said from them.
Screw them honestly, you were living your fantasy right here in the living room and you might not even get another chance like this again.. if this was all real. Maybe he was merely going along with it because he thought it was just a dare and you had no real feelings for him.. your lips parted, wanting to ask, put your thoughts into words somehow, and his features became serious ever so slightly as he looked at you but before you could utter another word-
‘’I hope you guys compensate me for gas at least for this stupid dare.’’ Bruce mumbled as he walked in with five orders of pizza before he was cut short, as was the music when he caught sight of you both.
You looked over your shoulder with a guilt expression and cheeks red, moving to get up but realized Loki’s firm grip on your hips prevented you from getting up off of him. your eyes moved back to his in which his expression remained the same: hungry and lustful and not giving two shits about the others in the room.
‘’I think you win Liah’’ Natasha laughed and raised her glass to you slightly before finishing her drink. ‘’lets eat.’’
While the others got up and followed her over to the tables, each giving you smiled and small laughs before twitching their attentions, your own moved back to Loki as you suddenly felt yourself being picked up so he stood before set down, his hand grabbing yours the next second after.
‘’where are we-‘’
‘’you still wish to complete your motive?’’ Loki smirked and began leading you to the elevator with you, red cheeks and eager to follow, gave Nat a smile behind you where she winked.
Once in the elevator, you didn’t know if you should laugh or question as Loki ran his hand over the buttons before you felt the elevator halt after the doors close. ‘’they don’t plan on needing this any time soon and you’ve taken my patience away already darling..’’ Loki breathed before his lips were on yours in a second.
Your eyes widen at the sudden action but of course you didn’t hesitate to kiss him back, your arms wrapping around his neck where he backed the two of you up so your back leaned against the wall with his hands grabbing your ass. You moaned against his mouth, eagerly letting him in after he ran his tongue against your bottom lip before it explored your mouth.
Your fingers tangled in his hair, tugging on it as he moved his knee between your legs, grinding it against your cunt where he growled against your lips. ‘’if you wanted to be on my lap darling, don’t wait for a dare next time..’’ he teased and you bit your lip.
‘’so.. you weren’t just going along with it?’’ you asked as he moved his lips to your neck and he paused to look at you strangely before he began sucking at your skin.
‘’gods no darling.. do you know how long I’ve longed to have you? You’ve merely just beaten me to it..’’ he murmured and your eyes widened as you gripped his shoulders, a small smile playing at your lips.
‘’then perhaps Tony did a good thing at suggesting this game.’’
Loki pulled away to rest his forehead against yours, a deadly serious expressing in his eyes that made you run a shiver down your spine. ‘’if you would have done that dance to Stark instead, he would have been a dead man and I probably would have taken you right then and there in front of everyone.’’ He growled as his hands moved to your hips. ‘’and I am a man of my intent.’’ He smirked before he slowly sank to his knees, holding eye contact as your own flirted with his.
His hands slowly ran up your thighs, his fingers dragging the bottom of your dress up to your waist to reveal that you had no panties on, making his eyes flick up to yours. ‘’oh.. you naughty girl..’’ he smirked, hunger consuming him as he raised one of your legs to drape over his shoulder, hands gripping your ass as he brought your cunt to his mouth.
A gasp left your lips as your head was thrown back to feel his tongue run against your pussy, hands gripping at his shoulders desperately. His lips sucked at your clit, running his tongue up and down against it every few seconds before he went to sucking again. The very actions made your legs begin to shake, arousal consuming you as your fingers dug into him.
One of his hands slide down before he slowly slide a long digit before your cunt, pumping and curling it at a teasingly slow rhythm that would do nothing but drive you mad. His tongue seemed to even match his finger pace while he alternated flicking his tongue against your clit before switching to slow strokes against it before he sucked at it against and repeated.
Gods he was amazing with his mouth, and all the dreams you’ve had didn’t do it justice as you felt yourself coming close to your climax. Your lips parted with your eye lids fluttering, even feeling your eye sight dance as the feeling in your pelvis grew. ‘’gods I’m.. I’m..
‘’mm cum for me darling.. fulfill my own fantasy as I push you off that delicious edge to pure pleasure.. cum for me Liah..’’ he murmured against you, the vibrations of his voice and his moans as his tongue caressing you did just that.
You fell off that beautiful edge and moaned his name, practically screaming even as your head fell back and your muscles tensed, shaking as he kept pumping his finger into you with his tongue massaged. ‘’fuck..’’ you breath as he slowed his movements until you rid your pleasure all the way before he carefully undraped your leg so you could get your proper balance again.
‘’is that your next motive darling?’’ he smirked as he slowly rose to his feet while he sucked his finger clean, making your cheeks redden as you leaned against the wall to catch your breath, his hands caging you in while your hands rested against his chest. With a shared smirk, your eyes rose to look at his hungry ones and the doors to the elevator opened to his floor.
‘’I have a couple more actually..’’
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mewtwo24 · 4 months
Text
I finally finished reading the fourth volume of svsss in full, and thing is--the first time through I only read the bingqiu content because I was ravenous for more of their happy ending.
Turns out that was a perilous mistake.
Because I started reading the airplane extras. And I swear to god. MXTX is trying to kill me
What do you MEAN demon lord Binghe was sitting on his big fucking throne. All stoic and forbidding. Surrounded by his demon generals who don't know shit about human courtship. Asking them what he should do, fully demoralized by constant rejections from sqq, only to have airplane tell him to act more pathetic and needy. Which is already hysterically funny and insane, UNTIL LBH'S RESPONSE IS THIS, KILLING ME INSTANTLY:
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LUO BINGHE. WHY DOES HE SAY IT LIKE: "I already tried that, didn't work--nothing works :/ not mean, not maidenly, not housewife, not spicy, not capable disciple. Is doubling down on clingy really all it will take? What's a born hater with only one love in his life to do????"
The dichotomy of him sitting there like 'how can I reach the unfathomable depths of shizun's heart?' A HEART HE'S ALREADY WON OVER, MIND and then in the Holy Mausoleum solving the puzzle without blinking and being like 'oh yeah you just have to hit the acupoints, no sweat.' Literally the comedy writes itself I'm so--
How am I supposed to be normal about this. MXTX understands the juicy quintessential queer joy of a person with the world's power at their fingertips wishing only for love. Willing to do anything to earn that love, when unbeknownst to them it's already been freely given. Totally not screaming and yelling and clawing at the walls
And that's not even touching airplane's uproarious account of events. The way he's like 'lol what's next, lbh and sqq are best friends now? smfh' only to see lbh TACKLE SQQ LOVINGLY. FOR SQQ TO BE BASHFUL ABOUT IT BUT SO SO FOND OF THE LITTLE SCAMP. This when we've been experiencing sqq's constant inner monologue of 'I'm so cool and so dignified about my role, truly the epitome of propriety and poser-level fortitude.' Meanwhile, in their universe:
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Airplane constantly flaming???? Sqq and lbh in his observations????? His absolute bewilderment and confusion????? Legendary. No notes every single second of this shit was hilarious.
Airplane's comment that sqq + older adolescent lbh traveling together was just watching a couple in their honeymoon phase. OR the fact that lbh is exceedingly petty and refuses to share their food in the wake of airplane's interruption of their time together, until sqq relents sheepishly and insists airplane eat what's left (ONLY AFTER PLACATING LBH WITH MORE FOOD FROM HIS PLATE, SOBBING)
Watching airplane salivate over Mobei-Jun and acting like that's totally normal behavior. Finding out mbj and airplane got together first. Finding out sqq encouraged airplane. LIKE THIS. WHILE HE IS STILL IN DENIAL ABOUT HIS OWN FEELINGS:
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Mobei-jun clearly thinking their arrangement is a forever thing, heartbroken his human abandoned him with all the hapless fury of a scorned wife swept away by false promises of fidelity. Airplane writing demons to be the type to beat up their crush lovingly and still unable to connect the dots about mbj's feelings. Mbj letting him go and respecting his wishes, only relenting when there's indication airplane was poorly processing his own feelings and didn't actually want to leave. Mbj caring for him and listening to him as soon as airplane voices what he needs directly and with clarity. None of these gays are functional and it's everything to me
Unrelated, but I physically can't hold this information in anymore:
I'm still reeling from younger lbh having his sexual awakening from the image of sqq wrapped in the immortal binding cables. Condemn me as you like he was so, so real for that.
And no I will not be taking any comments about how luo bingge couldn't bear to see luo binghe cherished in ways he never got to have and all the haunting implications of that. I will also not be taking any comments about luo binghe's instinct to look for sqq in that alternate universe, only to be shaken to the very core to be unable to find his shizun anywhere. The unspeakable and latent horror of his relentless mind likely piecing together what happened, but unable to say it; to suspect what is true, and live with the harrowing confusion of his double's actions. To blame himself, to assume that he had let his anger get the better of him in that world and result in unspeakable folly...
I also refuse to talk about how heartrending it is to hear Tianlang-jun weakly say "In the end, I really can't bring myself to hate humans." The implication that the foolishness of that hope and bright-eyed fondness--the very thing that put him through such unspeakable agony--couldn't be beaten out of him entirely. To discover that his faith in Su Xiyan hadn't been misplaced, to the contrary: his beloved hadn't scorned him at all, but rather fought to the miserable end to protect the fruition of their genuine feelings of love when she couldn't protect tlj or herself.
How MXTX has sqq deliberately draw parallels between their situation and that of ygy+sj and tlj+sx; desperately wishing it might not be too late for them. The concept of breaking cycles of abuse and harm pervasive throughout the newly devised story, how it evolves for the better only when love takes the place of power, pride, and domination. How the moment sqq chooses vulnerability instead of saving face, the genre shifts to the so-called "cringe" girly genre where most if not every character is more fulfilled, more true to themselves. How the "male-oriented" former genre was aimlessly sensationalized and sexualized, how it was a sustained performance of aspirational toxic masculinity. How men objectify other men without end. All of the unspoken gendered implications that come with that.
Anyways. Going to go put my head in a sandbox and try to process everything I just witnessed because even a second reading is not enough to find a modicum of closure.
#svsss#bingqiu#moshang#i swear to god this series is just 'gay man who doesn't know shit inflicting his delusional reality on everyone else and inciting chaos'#and literally it's slapstick levels of hilarious every single time; mxtx never change#also i fully agree that we did not get NEARLY enough mobei-jun and sqh/airplane content#the amount of mental illness to mental illness communication going on there was astonishing#mobei-jun being afraid of his uncle and bringing sqh because that's the only person he trusts fully (WAILING NOISES)#sqh having a tantrum but running away because for the first time he was honest about his needs + his dissatisfaction with catering to other#how that reflects his narrative compulsions and how he felt forced to warp more creative story paths for the sake of survival as a writer#how sqq's restoration of much of his original intent--as well as mobei-jun's acceptance of his needs--helps airplane begin to heal#how his happiness begins; how just like sqq he wanders in such confusion and denial before he's forced to realize what truly matters to him#SHREK VOICE: STORIES HAVE. L A Y E R S#it feels like modern day shakespeare and when i say that i don't mean it in a hollow elevating sense i mean it more like#mxtx just hits that perfect balance of poignance but also hilarious concentric circles of botched communication and brainworms#okay but real talk for a minute? .........;-;#the way lbh constantly struggles with such a crushing feeling that he'll be abandoned over any little mishap/thing/problem#really hit me where it hurts??? if only because its so clearly an anxiety that stems from original goods' upbringing#the way it becomes even more heartrending when you think back to all the sect leaders clamoring that he should have been killed as an infan#that he should have been aborted as a fetus--insisting right in front of him that his birth was a mistake and a disgrace#over having demon blood in his veins. like my god that scene is so viscerally upsetting i struggle to read it#the way its so easy to see the demons as a manifestation of otherness in precipitated form#how both sqq and sqh are influenced by human rhetoric without evening meaning to--assuming the worst against their better judgment#how both sqq and sqh both struggle with their own otherness in different ways and only find solace when they begin to accept who they are#how their lovers (lbh and mbj respectively) both are willing to navigate those confusing waters with them#how both demons love them as they are--accept them as they are despite how difficult forgiveness of perceived betrayal is for them#ty mxtx for changing my brain chemistry#as i get older i have such a fondness for the messiness of thematic queer self-discovery and growth into self-acceptance#that and how youth can so easily be defined by perfectionistic self-harm and the violence of repression
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sam24 · 4 months
Text
Officially Confused
Summary: Tony thought you and Steve were enemies. Apparently not.
Pairing: Steve Rogers x fem!reader
*****
Tony sighed as he took yet another sip of the tea Bruce had given him.
“It’ll help Tony, I promise. Just try it.”
Bullshit, Tony snorted. No matter how many cups he drank of Bruce’s alleged ‘calming’ tea, it wasn’t working.
His sleep-deprivation, bags under his eyes, major headache, and lots of meetings and press conferences needed to be attended to didn’t immediately disappear like he was secretly hoping.
And on top of that were you and Steve.
You two were a major pain in the ass for Tony, arguing all the time, during missions and meetings.
Even though he loved drama, the constant bickering had gotten a little out of hand.
Steve’s loyalty didn’t sit well with you, and your sarcasm didn’t sit well with him.
And Tony was stuck in the middle.
The first time you two had met was when he came out of the ice and Fury introduced him to you as his best agent.
The whole enemies thing didn’t actually start until you two went off on your first mission together a little bit after Bucky’s ‘rescue’ (Tony honestly didn’t know what to call it). Suddenly, you two were throwing passive-aggressive insults at each other like there was no tomorrow. After a while, the passive went away and they were just full on aggressive comments.
At first, Tony thought it was hilarious. Until he realized it was just annoying.
Individually, Tony actually really liked you, and he tolerated Steve. But together? Tony absolutely dreaded being in a room with you two in it, because nothing good could happen from that.
You both could somehow find the littlest things to argue about, and they would turn into full fledged debates in a span of 2 minutes. Usually you won, but that’s probably because Tony always waited until you had the last say to break it up.
But then something happened.
After your mission together in Craiova (even though Tony strongly vetoed the idea of you and Steve going together) something changed.
You stopped rolling your eyes the minute he opened his mouth, and he stopped leaning over to whisper something you probably wouldn’t like in Bucky’s ear whenever Fury mentioned you during Avengers meetings.
Tony once even thought he caught Steve looking at you during an Avengers Movie Night that Clint dragged you to, and not in the ‘what the hell is she doing here’ way.
Tony was needless to say shocked, but he didn’t have the time to enjoy it while it lasted because he was busy worrying that you would pull a ‘sike, you thought’ (at least that’s what Peter always would say) on him and you both would go back to making Tony go crazy.
That was the moment when you decided to walk in, taking a handful of m&ms from Clint’s ‘secret’ jar.
You raised your eyebrow at the empty tea packets decorating the kitchen counter.
“You might wanna throw those away before Steve calls the cops on you for littering.” You joked.
Tony hummed as he finished the cup with a long sip.
“Don’t blame me, it was all Doctor Bruce’s doings.”
You chuckled, not bothering to question it as you shoved another handful of stolen candy into your mouth.
“Well then please carry on. It would be hilarious to have ‘Death by Green Tea’ written on your grave.” You called over your shoulder as you left.
“Yeah, so funny.” Tony muttered before getting up to make another cup of tea.
He didn’t know if it was because he was tired, half dead inside, stressed out, or just high on tea, but he didn’t realize until 20 minutes later that the oversized hoodie you were wearing was actually Steve’s.
*
One hour later, Tony was fanned out on the couch, officially confused.
There was no doubt the hoodie was Steve’s, considering the fact he wore it all the time (and that it was an abnormal size).
Certainly you didn’t steal it from him. Steve would’ve guarded it with his life. But even if you did manage to, he would’ve hunted it down in 0.001 seconds.
Were you guys together?
No way, Tony thought. The only logical explanation is that she bought a ginormous hoodie because she was cold, and it looks exactly like his because they have similar style.
But even Tony knew that was stupid.
And in that moment, Steve strolled into the common room (what are we in, Hogwarts?), looking oddly happy.
“Oh, hey there Tone.” Steve pulled out a salad from the fridge. “You okay?”
Tony’s eyes narrowed.
He was supposed to be okay. The two people who hated each other like just last week were exchanging hoodies, so that was good for him, right? No more arguing?
Wrong.
Tony wasn’t worried anymore. He was suspicious. (Or, ‘sus’, as Peter would say.)
He decided to put Steve to the test.
“I’m fine, just tired.”
Tony continued talking about all the work he had to do as he watched Steve clearly zone out.
Step one: See if Her Name Gets His Attention.
Tony said your name, and Steve looked up so fast Tony thought his neck would snap.
“ -made me some tea though, and that really helped.” Tony carefully watched Steve’s face as he lied with no remorse.
“That’s good.” Steve was a master at the poker face, but Tony could tell it was coming down.
Step two: Watch His Reaction to Her Praise.
“I don’t know what I’d do without her.”
Tony was expecting jealousy to step two, but he got something even better.
“Yeah, she’s pretty cool.” Steve looked down.
Tony could’ve sworn Steve was blushing.
No, he did swear. That little bastard was indeed blushing.
At this point, the rest of the steps were useless.
Steve was making it incredibly obvious.
You know that proud husband look Tony had whenever Pepper did something great that made him wanna shout ‘THAT’S MY WIFE, BITCHES’?
Yeah, that’s exactly the look Steve had on.
Steve then had a very visible realization that he was smiling like a fool and staring into space, his salad forgotten.
Steve cleared his throat and devoured the remaining of the salad as quickly as he could and practically ran out.
Tony smirked and got up from the couch - but not to make another cup of tea.
His job here was done.
Now, all he needed to do was tell the whole compound.
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fairyofshampgyu · 1 year
Text
Now live ! Stream: 6
Genre: smut, camboy au, college au, crack
Pairing: camboy! Beomgyu x gn reader (afab when smut)
Warnings: camboy, sub! beomgyu, dom! reader, dry humping, top! gyu, nipple play
Synopsis: Every Thursday night at 8pm, you tune into your favourite camboy: Angel313. What you don’t know is he even goes to the same uni as you, is in the same class as you and is Choi Beomgyu, the campus fuckboy but will you keep his secret?
Word count: 2.5k
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You’d gotten a lot closer to taehyun and kai recently, coming over to hangout with them and beomgyu, playing board games and card games drunkenly for hours on end. They were extremely funny and you really gelled with Kai and taehyun, enjoying your new found friends thanks to beomgyu.
The christmas concert was only nearing as well, but you and beomgyu were certain it was going to go more than smoothly, having sorted pretty much everything for it and rehearsals sounding perfect with the ensemble now that everyone was confident on their parts. You were actually really excited for it.
You’ve also still been helping beomgyu film his streams and managing his channel, but you also showing up on his streams seemingly only a one time thing. You hadn’t really spoken about it since you fucked him, thinking it would be a little awkward. It was only a spur of the moment thing, right? But you do know that it had gained masses amounts of views and money since it was the first time anyone else had ever been with him and they all loved seeing him actually get fucked when it had just been him for the longest time. You’d see comments every now and then asking what happened to the other unknown person and that they really wanted to see them both again on a stream together.
“Y/n!! You’re playing against me! Come on!” Beomgyu calls out to you, grabbing the controller and tossing the other to you. You were currently at Kai’s place hanging out for the nth time this week, game chosen first for you all to play, the classic Tekken.
You roll your eyes but take a seat next to him, selecting your preferred character, beomgyu choosing Lee as you pick the map. You both narrow your eyes intensely and side eye each other as the words ‘GET READY FOR THE NEXT BATTLE!” played across the screen and your characters said their little cringey intro lines at each other, huening kai and taehyun whispering and placing bets, giggling behind you both like little schoolgirls as they excitedly watched.
“You’re going to get absolutely obliterated, y/n.” Beomgyu turns to you, cocky grin slowly etching onto his face as he dramatically gestures with his hand about slicing your neck.
“Shiver me timbers. You’re so scary.”
And so the trash talking ensues as you both intensely play the first round, landing hits and dodging attacks until beomgyu evilly and suspiciously laughs and then uses some weird combo and your character is dead. He laughs even more at your shocked face.
“Whatever. It’s only the first round, beomgyu.” You say, rolling your eyes at him.
And you start the second round, beomgyu somehow cornering you and repeatedly hitting blows to your character. “Looks like I’m about to win again, y/n.” Beomgyu smirks, very content and smug. But you somehow get out of it and corner his character instead, repeatedly kicking and punching until the words ‘K.O!’ appears for him.
“HA! Take that, you little bitch!” You turn to laugh now and mock him and kai and taehyun do the same to beomgyu, finding it hilarious.
Beomgyu huffs and sticks his tongue out. “You just got lucky.”
The final rounds seems like it last forever, both of you smashing the buttons at record speeds, tension in the air palpable, visibly sweating and Kai hiding behind taehyun in fear and anxiousness when it’s too tense, both of them letting out commentries and dramatic gasps.
You and beomgyu are on your last legs, either of you could die any second, both of you on the same level of health.
“Ahh! I can’t watch! I can’t watch!” Huening kai puts his hands up to cover the screen and taehyun does the same, screeching, not looking but looking.
You don’t know which one of you dies until the game yells ‘K.O!!!!’ and it’s your character.
Beomgyu dramatically jumps up from the sofa, hysterically screaming and laughing and running around the room that he won, doing a silly little dance and coming up close to you to teasingly pull faces.
He’s so annoying. You don’t know why you find yourself smiling a little instead at his antics though.
“Okay so which one of you bet on me winning!” Beomgyu points to taehyun and huening kai. “Ah really, I’m just too good. I bet both of you did.” Beomgyu flicks his hair.
“Um no one did…We didn’t think you’d win at all.”
Beomgyu gasps and clutches his chest, “I cannot believe this is how I get treated every day. No one has any faith in me!” Beomgyu dabs at fake tears. “I’m just a kind soul and I get bullied everyday by EVIL people.”
“I demand a rematch!” You shout, still not wanting to accept beomgyu won.
“No it’s our turn now! I’m not sitting through that again!” Taehyun says, him and kai taking the two controllers.
You sit close to beomgyu so you could both share the small blanket together, cozying up a bit too much, shoulders and legs touching but you liked it. It was nice and warm. It was only because the blanket wasn’t big enough anyway. You’ve found beomgyu being a lot more clingier lately though. You see huening Kai and taehyun exchange a knowing look. You wonder what that was about.
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You were on a bench outside with Chaewon, hot drinks in both your shivering hands as you talked in between your lectures, chaewon waiting for her next one which would start in a few minutes.
You spot beomgyu with yeonjun and a group of people gushing and giggling around him again, watching as he smiled and talked animatedly.
“Y/n, remember he’s a fuckboy don’t fall for him.” Chaewon catches you staring, grinning.
“I’m not!”
“Really? Because it looks like you’re giving him ooga booga heart eyes.”
“What the f…I am not! A-and he’s different-“
“Oh no. You’re not turning into those weird, delusional ‘I can change him’ people are you? Please stop oh my god or I fear we can’t be friends for longer.”
“But he is different!”
“You’re way past the help stage, dear lord. You are delusional.”
You sigh, defeated and unable to try and make yourself not sound weird. It’s little times like these that you’d love to tell your friend chaewon what’s actually happening and that beomgyu is actually Angel but you can’t. You swore to beomgyu you wouldn’t tell anyone he’s a camboy.
“Anyway I gotta go now so see ya.” Chaewon says and you both get up, saying your goodbyes that actually turn into another long conversation and both of you eventually leaving to walk in opposite directions.
As you walk back to your place though, you feel a snowball hurled at your shoulder. You turn around, ready to scold whatever silly teenage boy thought it was funny to do that only to see beomgyu in return, badly hiding behind a tree and laughing and giggling uncontrollably. That’s it.
You chase after him as he shrieks, picking up snow from the grounds to mould into a ball and throwing it at him as he ducks behind trees, cold air shivering your skin but you felt some kind of warmth in your body when you saw beomgyu bounding ahead, his hair bouncing as he laughed, feet sinking into the snow as he tried to run but it was very slow since there was so much of the snow. Goddamn it. Why was he so annoying and endearing.
You both fire snowballs at each other until you make a particularly solid and heavy one, threatening to throw it at him as you grin.
“Y/n, that’s literally just a block of ice. Please. I’m too young and handsome to die!” Beomgyu puts his hands in surrender and fear.
But you throw it at him anyway, he makes a dramatic pained groan before taking his revenge and piling up an absolutely massive and densely packed one, maliciously smiling at you as he chases after you.
He hits at your back and you’re pretty sure it would actually leave some kind of mark, Jesus but see it as a great opportunity, fake collapsing to the ground, pretending to be hurt.
“HA HA—oh shit, y/n? Did you die?” Beomgyu runs to your lying self, feeling guilty and concerned. “Are you okay? I didn’t think it would be that hard I’m so sorry.” He searches your eyes anxiously and helps you up, holding your body close.
Then you let out a short chuckle until you can’t stifle it anymore and laugh manically, holding onto your stomach. Beomgyu blinks at you once, twice until he rolls his eyes when he realises and playfully shoves you back to the ground. “Got me worried over you for nothing, you evil shit!”
“You gotta admit it was funny.”
“Fuck you.” He shakes his head at you, mouth slowly curling into a grin.
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As you both took turns showering at your place, ridding yourself of your cold and damp clothes, beomgyu sat on your bed with a serious gaze.
“Y/n. Let’s talk.”
“What about?”
“I know it might be too much to ask and you can say no but ever since we…fucked on that one stream we got a load of money and new viewers. It really blew up and they really want to see us both again, you probably noticed.” Beomgyu pauses, trying to articulate his words. “And…and I think we should do it again. Just doing solo can get boring after a while, there’s less you can play around with than with someone else and I think it’s a strong new direction to take on the channel. We’ll both be getting a lot more money. But you can definitely say no though! I totally get why you wouldn’t want to.” Beomgyu quickly adds, flying his hands in the air.
You know you had thought about it before but you’re not sure if you did actually want to be full on working with beomgyu like that, for everyone to see and open for people to say whatever they want. You know you’ve definitely seen some viewers say not very kind things to beomgyu sometimes and you would just report and filter them out. It could be a lot and also risky trying to hide personal information about yourself. But then again, you’d be making a lot of money and when you did do it, that one time, you have to admit you really liked it. You’d literally be fucking Angel, guy of your (wet) dreams for literal years and getting money for it.
“Okay. We can try it out and see.” Reluctantly, you nod your head.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. we can try and see how we feel about it. We could film it now, it’s a been while since a stream.”
So you both set the camera up, pressing the button to go live, already hundreds and hundreds of viewers swarming in and blowing up the comment section at the sight of you again, all of them excited and already tipping you both.
You straddle his lap and kiss him, trailing hot kisses down his neck as he softly moans at the contact of his crotch with you and starts humping up and rubbing up against you none stop, weakly holding onto your hips and whimpering into your mouth as you both continued to grind, rolling your hips on his and his dick only hardening in his pants as you both rutted against each other.
“Fuck me, baby.” You lay down on the bed and beomgyu stares at you dumbfounded between your legs.
“B-but I’ve never-” Beomgyu sheepishly averts your gaze.
“It’s okay, you’re so cute.” You hold onto his waist to bring him closer and stroke his wet dick a few times before you take it in your hand and bring it your entrance, moving forwards yourself to slowly sheath his dick into you, filling you up and beomgyu yelps at the feeling, body jerking.
He holds on to you tight, his face falling into the crook of your neck and moaning as you grip his hips, guiding him to fuck into you. Hips snapping into yours without experience and no rhythm and you can feel him practically drooling on your neck, already such a mess.
“S-so good…ah ahh…” Beomgyu eyes nearly roll out of his head as you grips his hips again and make him thrust into you so fast and hard and he lets out continuous strangled moans.
You pull at his hair to bring his face back up and away from your neck, he only looks at you with dazed eyes and a slurred groan as you roughly pull him into kiss, biting at his lower lip and he lets you dominate the kiss, still tugging at his hair.
“Can’t you fuck me better than this, Angel? Or are you just a pathetic virgin?” You pull away.
He shakes his head, lip wobbling, “I can, I can!” Beomgyu starts to try and fuck you harder, thrusts and pace becoming entirely erratic, rutting into you dumbly and cluelessly as tears roll down his heated cheeks in embarrassment and you know he won’t last long.
You move your hands up his chest and he shivers, pace staggering and chest heaving as you touch his nipples, flicking and rolling at the buds and he breathes heavily as he cries and moans, movements sloppy and desperate.
“C-can’t fuck you…am p-pathetic…” Beomgyu shakes his head and cries and wails, “close, gonna…”
You take one of his pretty nipples into your mouth and suck, swirling your tongue and your hand going to circle at your own clit so you can cum with him.
Beomgyu hides his face in your neck again, attempting to muffle his loud whine as he spills his cum all in your pussy as you do too, clamping around him and he stills his movements as he shakes, collapsing and holding onto you so tight as he gasps and tries to calm down his breathing.
You grab the camera again to film his pretty post-orgasm face, trying to pry his face and body away from you so you could film him but he doesn’t budge, refusing to let you go and instead, nuzzling his face more in your neck and clinging tighter onto you, whining at you for trying to get him off.
You switch the live off, cluelessly and a little awkwardly stroking his soft hair, “Gyu…we need to clean up.” But the only response you get is his soft snores. You sigh, knowing you’d have to be the one to clean you both up but you don’t have the heart to get him off you just yet, looking so cute absolutely knocked out. You can’t help caressing his soft cheek slowly with your thumb and he leans into it.
Please actually reblog !!!!!! and leave comments !!!! guys 😭 if you like the fic. It’s really appreciated and so nice tysm !<3🙏💕🌷🌷! It’s discouraging and sad when fics have such little reblogs ☹️👎🤨Feedback is always appreciated it makes writers want to actually write :) !
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pink-sparkly-witch · 6 months
Text
Everything
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Summary: Dumped by her boyfriend, Y/N goes home with her tail between her legs, praying that her roommate, Dean Winchester, isn’t there to witness yet another failed relationship. But fate doesn’t work that way, and what seems like the universe conspiring against her might actually be what she’s needed all along.
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female Reader
Warnings: angst, break-up, language, douchebag ex, Dean’s a bit of a dick at first, insecurities, heart to heart, frenemies to lovers
Word Count: 2.5k
A/N: I’m so sorry. This summary is awful. I hope you enjoy whatever this is 😅 Please consider reblogging to spread this far and wide around this Hellsite, or leave a little comment. It really does fuel our muse. If you’re too shy or too cool for people to know you read fanfic and you don’t want it showing on your blog, you can submit an anonymous ask or drop me a DM 💖
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The rain pours down, and thunder rumbles somewhere in the distance. You laugh bitterly at how the weather reflects your mood. Rain soaks your hair and clothing, your feet sodden and squelching; the stilettos you’re wearing offer zero protection from the torrents of water falling from the sky and running down the sidewalks.
You’re grateful for it, truth be told. At least this way, no one knows the mascara that runs in black streams down your cheeks is from the tears you’ve been crying over that asshole. The asshole you’ve been dating for two months who just dumped you at your local bar while sitting next to his date for the night.
Fuck, how did this become your life? How did you become this gullible, desperate woman who keeps falling for these kinds of men? Men who date you and sweet talk you, saying all the right things until they get what they want from between your legs and then leave you for someone prettier. Someone younger.
Maybe the asshole’s right. Maybe you are the type of girl to have a fun time with, not the kind to take home to meet someone’s mother. But fuck, that hurts to admit and fuck, you lose more of yourself with every asshole that spews those kind of lines to you. If you’ve said it once, you’ve said it a million times. You’re done with men. And this time, you mean it.
You turn the corner onto your street and stop in your tracks. Dread settles in your stomach as you see your roommate’s car parked on the side of the road. He just had to choose tonight of all nights to stay home, didn’t he? That’s all you fucking need right now. You consider turning around and walking away. Hell, he wouldn’t miss you. You were meant to be staying at the asshole’s place anyway.
But, this is your home. Well, the place you live, at least, and you need to go there eventually. Might as well get it over with. Your lip trembles, knowing you need to face the one person you really don’t want to right now, especially in this state. He already thinks you’re pathetic enough as it is.
You walk up the stairs, dread settling heavily in the pit of your stomach the closer you get to the door. You cast up a silent prayer that the only reason Dean is home is because he’s got female company over. At least then, you can get in, grab some whiskey and get to your room quietly and unnoticed.
“Hey, what are you doing home so early? Thought you were staying at Chuck’s tonight?” Dean says from the couch, not even turning to look at you.
“Yeah, well, plans change. Why are you here? Thought you’d be chasing some skinny ass, barely legal bitch at the bar.” Your tone conveys pure disgust, and you curse yourself for it when he turns to look at you. And, of course, he laughs.
“What the hell happened to you?” he buckles, scanning your absolutely hilarious appearance. “You look like someone threw you in the river and left you to claw your way back out again!” Dean laughs, and you huff, desperately trying to stop the fresh batch of tears threatening to stream down your face.
“In case you haven’t noticed, Dean, there’s a torrential downpour out there.”
“Yeah, that explains the puddle at your feet, but not the rest of you, bitch,” he laughs, and that does it. You know he’s not being serious; you constantly hurl insults at one another, and it doesn’t usually get to either of you, but this time, it hits differently.
“The only reason I kept you around so long is because you’re like a bitch in heat. Always needing to be fucked. But that’s all you’re good for, and it grows old pretty quickly.”
Your eyes water, and your lip trembles. A sob escapes unchecked, and you wish the floor would open you up and swallow you whole. “I’m going to bed,” you mutter and turn to walk away.
“Y/N, wait,” Dean says, his face softening into concern.
“What, Dean? What? You wanna laugh at me more? Call me a bitch again, huh? Look, I know you don’t like me, but you know what? A little compassion can go a long way. Some humanity might make me actually believe you have a heart.”
Your mind replays every conversation you’ve overheard Dean having about you with his brother, his friends, and his conquests, and your heart sinks to the floor at how true your words are.
“Who? Her? She’s just my roommate. Baby, you don’t have to worry about her. We’re not even friends, and she’s not my type. She’s basically my live-in maid. She cooks and cleans for me and pays me for the privilege.”
“Y/N, sweetheart, what happened?” Dean asks, stepping towards you, frowning when you step back.
“Doesn’t matter,” you sniffle.
“Come on, you’re upset. Talk to me, tell me what’s going on.”
“Why? So you can make fun of me like you always do? We're not even friends, Dean. Stop pretending you give a damn about me.” The hurt furrowing his brow surprises you, and you scoff. “Don’t look so hurt, Dean. I’m only repeating your words back to you. I’m the live-in maid, remember?” you turn and walk quickly to your room, slamming the door.
Whiskey will have to wait until Dean’s gone to bed.
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It’s been quiet in the main section of the apartment for over an hour now. It’s probably safe to assume Dean has gone to bed, and you can get the whiskey you’re so desperate to drown yourself in.
Leaving the sanctuary of your bedroom, you pad down the hall in your bare feet, trying to be as quiet as possible. Dean is a light sleeper, and he’d complained before about you waking him whenever you get up in the middle of the night suffering from a bout of insomnia.
“I was wondering when you’d come out,” Dean’s voice makes you jump as it rings from the small dining table by the kitchen window. He’s sitting in the dark, with just the moon’s light shining enough to see his silhouette. “I was getting worried,” he states, sipping from a tumbler.
“Oh, so you do have a heart?” you respond. It’s a bitchy comment, and you know it, but you’re in defence mode after Chuck. “Might want to show it once in a while.”
“Nah. Makes me look weak,” he chuckles. His joke caught you off guard, and you let out a little huff of laughter. “See? I knew I could make you smile!”
“Barely,” you quip back and sit across from him, grabbing the whiskey bottle and filling the empty glass Dean must’ve put on the table for you.
“What happened, sweetheart? You left here tonight looking stunning and happy, and when you came home—”
“I was crying, and you called me bitch,” you state, watching Dean’s head drop.
“Not my finest moment, I admit,” Dean says as he reaches for the bottle and refills both glasses. “I didn’t know how upset you were, and I was only teasing you. If I’d known that it wasn’t just the rain that made your mascara run, I’d never have said it, and I hope you know that.”
“I really wanna believe that, but you’re always saying hurtful things,” you say, draining your glass.
“The things you said earlier,” Dean nods. “I didn’t mean… look, Y/N, you’re a beautiful woman, and some of the girls I bring home get jealous, you know? I say those things to keep them sweet.”
You nod, thinking it’s a fair excuse. Dean does have a lot of women over, and you’ve pulled out the sting from more than a few of them.
“As for what I say to Sam and my friends, well, they tease me about living with a pretty girl and don’t believe me when I say we’re just roommates,” Dean continues. You have to admit that was also sound reasoning. It didn’t excuse it; he was still a dick, but you understood it a little better.
“It’d just be nice if you stopped for a second and thought of me as a person with feelings before you say those kinds of things in front of me,” you say, filling your glass again.
“Alright, sweetheart, I promise I’ll work on that,” Dean agrees, and you notice he’s watching you intently.
“What?” you ask, feeling uncomfortably exposed under his gaze.
“What happened with Chuck,” Dean asks again.
“I don’t want to tell you,” you sigh.
“Why?”
“Because it’s embarrassing,” you whine and hit your head on the table.
“Come on,” Dean says, topping up their glasses again. “I know you have no reason to trust me, but I promise whatever it is, it won’t be as bad as you think.”
“I got to the bar, and Chuck was there with another woman. He told me we were over and that Anna was his date for the night. Then, to rub salt in my wounds, as I was walking away, he told me that all I was good for was a great time in bed. Always up for anything, like a bitch in heat.”
“And then you came home, and I called you a bitch. Y/N, I’m sorry, sweetheart,” Dean takes your hand in his, and you can see that it’s a genuine apology, and he really does feel awful about it. “You know he’s wrong, right? You’re worth so much more than that?”
“I don’t think I am. He’s not the only guy to tell me that,” you shrug. “It doesn’t matter, anyway. I’m done with men and dating.”
“You don’t mean that. You think I don’t know about all the romcoms you watch on Netflix? All those girly books you read.”
“Yeah, well, a fat lot of good they did me. I’m starting to see why people are boycotting Disney Princess movies because they’re filled with romantic disillusionment and give a false idea to women that their Prince Charming exists somewhere out there.”
“This is more serious than I thought if you’re losing faith in the Disney Princesses!” Dean chuckles, and it makes you smile slightly. “Seriously, though, I think this is more about the men you date than you, sweetheart. They are way out of your league.”
“I am not out of anyone’s league, Dean. If anything, it’s probably the other way around,” you huff a bitter laugh.
“I’m out of your league,” Dean says quietly.
“You have that backwards. I’m the one out of your league. You’re gorgeous and charming, and I have seen the girls you bring home, and they are the most stunning women I’ve ever seen. I can’t compete with that.” The words spill out of you before you can stop them, and you think Dean might be blushing, but it’s hard to tell when the only sliver of light comes from the moon shining through the kitchen window.
Dean laughs, and it takes you aback slightly. “I have called you beautiful or some other variation of it several times tonight, and not once have you picked up on it. Those women are hot, sure, but you… You are on a whole other level of hot. You are stunning and so much classier than they will ever be.”
You scoff at his words, not believing them but not wanting him to know they affect you. You know Dean’s type, and it is definitely not you. “You don’t have to try and make me feel better, Dean.”
“That’s not what I’m doing. There’s a reason Sam and Cas and Benny are on my case so much about you, and it’s because I really, really, like you—”
“So, all the insults and barely tolerating my presence was what,” you smirk over at him, “you pulling my pigtails and pushing me over in the playground?”
“When you put it like that…” Dean cringes. “I guess it was. Look, you’re hurt and sad, and we’ve had a lot to drink, so I’m not going to push you to tell me if this is one-sided, but I will talk to you tomorrow when we’re both sober.”
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The warmth of the sun wakes you, and you stretch in its gentle heat. You’re not nearly as hungover as you should be, and for that, you’re grateful. Dean had some interesting things to say last night, and you’d rather your brain was running at full capacity.
Quietly, you make your way to the kitchen, mindful that Dean’s door is closed, so it’s likely he’s still sleeping, and start the coffee machine. 
You busy yourself with clearing up from the night before. You rinse dishes, put them in the dishwasher and put the almost empty whiskey bottle back in the cupboard. You grab your and Dean’s favourite mugs and place them next to the coffee machine.
Taking the cleaning spray, you spritz all the surfaces and wipe them down while patiently waiting for the coffee to finish brewing.
“How did I manage to find the only person in this city who likes cleaning?” Dean’s groggy voice sounds from the doorway, and you smile.
“Morning, Dean,” you say as you pick up the coffee pot and fill his mug. You place it on the breakfast bar and fill your own before hopping onto one of the stools and making yourself comfortable.
“Morning, sweetheart. Thanks,” Dean says as he picks up his mug and takes a sip. “So, about last night…”
“Wow,” you chuckle. “Straight to the point, huh?”
“I’ve wasted enough time, and now that my feelings are out there, I can’t sit on this any longer,” Dean pauses to take another mouthful of coffee. “I meant what I said. I like you, Y/N. I’m sorry if anything I did when I was in denial of my feelings hurt you. And I’m sorry for pushing you away and making you think I hated you so you wouldn’t find out how I really feel.”
“Dean, I don’t know what to say,” you say. “I used to like you in that way, but with how you were with me, I turned it off because, for the past year, I’ve been thinking you don’t like me, and I don’t know if anything is still there for you.”
Dean nods, looking a little deflated by your words, but it’s clear he accepts them. “Can I at least try and make you get it back?”
“I don’t know—“ you begin, but Dean cuts you off.
“Please, Y/N. One date is all I’m asking for,” Dean begs, and you feel your resolve waning. You know you still have feelings for him.
“I’ve seen the girls you bring home, Dean. And I’m nothing compared to them,” you try. It’s your last bit of fight, the last time you’ll be able to give him an out from this.
“You’re everything, Y/N. And I mean that. You are smart, funny, kind, beautiful… you’re everything they weren’t. Please,” Dean begs again. “Just one date. Let me prove it.”
“Okay,” you nod with a small smile.
“Yeah?” Dean says, breaking out into a boyish grin.
“Yeah. I’ll go on a date with you, Dean.”
“Awesome!” he grins, looking like he just answered the million-dollar question. “I promise you won’t regret it!”
Tags: @acitygrownwillow @akshi8278 @ashbatz @candy-coated-misery0731 @chriszgirl92 @deans-baby-momma @deans-spinster-witch @deansbbyx @deanwanddamons @duncanhillscoffeecups @foxyjwls007 @giggles1026 @globetrotter28 @hobby27 @hoboal87 @impala67rollingthroughtown @iprobablyshipit91 @jackles010378 @jamerlynn @jc-winchester @k-slla @kazsrm67 @kmc1989 @lacilou @ladysparkles78 @leigh70 @lyarr24 @maliburenee @michecolegate @mrsjenniferwinchester @nancymcl @negans-lucille-tblr @nelachu2423 @octoberclidan @perpetualabsurdity @roseblue373 @sandlee44 @sexyvixen7 @snackles87 @spnbaby-67 @spnwoman @stixnstripesworld @stoneyggirl2 @suckitands33 @synmorite @tristanrosspada-ackles @twinkleinadiamondsky @waters-2567 @winchestergirl1720
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tonicandjins · 11 months
Text
the room smells like absolute shit
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CHARACTERS: haechan | lee donghyuck and reader
WORD COUNT: 2.8k
GENRE: harry potter au, slytherin!haechan, ravenclaw!reader
WARNINGS: none, just teenage fluff
amortentia (the room smells like absolute shit) is the second installment from 23 moments with donghyuck.
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It’s no secret that the ongoing cat-and-mouse game between you and Slytherin House’s very own Lee Donghyuck remains unceasing from the day you and him were sorted five years ago to this day. Today’s no different than the others, except it’s the day before Slytherin House plays against Ravenclaw, your very own, and Lee Donghyuck seems like he’s decided to make your day extra horrible—he’s done it five times already, and it’s barely two in the afternoon.
one
The first one was during breakfast, and if you are being completely honest, you should’ve expected it. Lee Donghyuck likes torturing you when you’re on your period; you don’t even want to remember the full story of how the fuck he even knows what week of the month you get yours. (Long story short: Lee Donghyuck had to be there the first time you got your period in third year.) He claims that he knows your period is on as soon as you enter the Great Hall, because your hair is always uncombed on your first day and your eyebrows are always furrowed when you’re in pain. Donghyuck says if pain and aggravation had colors, you’d be burning in hues now.
“You’re easily the most predictable person I know,” he’d tease, mouth agape as he laughs at the way you would huff from the pranks he’d do just to make your day worse than it already is.
Today was no different. You hadn’t even seen him yet, but he’s made his presence known as soon as you sit and the loudest, most obnoxious sound of fart comes out. It’s Lee Donghyuck who laughs first, and you’re not really in the mood to say anything, hence you take the muggle-made fart cushion off from where you’re seated and throw it from where he’s sitting with his equally cunning friends. You wonder which of his friends brought it for him.
Yeji finds it hilarious. “He just wants to make you laugh,” she comments.
“More like want me to drop out and move across the world,” you grumble as you take a treacle tart and a piece of crumpets from the dishes. The pain stings as you try to sit comfortably. “Fuck this period. Why did none of our ancestors ever think of a stupid charm that could rid period cramps?”
Yuna sighs, agreeing. Yeji smiles even wider and hands you a vial filled with blue-ish liquid.
“What’s this?” you ask, taking it and observing how poorly it’s sealed. “Looks like something a first year would make.”
Yeji shrugs, a knowing smile playing on her lips. “It magically appeared on your seat. The same time that fart cushion popped up under your seat.”
You click your tongue, opening the vial and drinking it anyway. The ocean-colored liquid tastes like absolute crap, if you’re being honest, but its effects come as quickly as the potion runs down your throat. The cramping pain from your lower abdomen vanishes. Like magic.
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two
Whining, Donghyuck follows you around after first period—all out, arms wrapped around one of yours as he drags his feet wherever yours take you.
“Donghyuck, my books are heavy enough, stop dragging me with your weight!” you shriek. “I’ll come! I’ll come! Just let me go!”
Donghyuck cheers, surprising you with a big, sloppy kiss on your left cheek, letting you go while you stand frozen in place. “I knew you could never resist me. I will see you at Quidditch then. And you will cheer for me! Fuck Houses! I’ll cheer for you in the Annual International Wizard Gardening Competition!”
He runs off and waves goodbye as he catches up with other players clad in their Quidditch capes and jerseys, blending in like he’s always been born to be in this scene.
You can’t remember a time that Lee Donghyuck isn’t talking about Quidditch. You’d met him in first year, when his voice squeaked higher than it does now, and the first thing he had asked Madam Hooch was when he could join the tryouts. Poor little Donghyuckie spent the entire period sulking and pouting when Madam Hooch confirmed that he should at least finish one year of flying lessons and ask her again next year. It was truly all Donghyuck had ever dreamed about. Hence, he had spent his entire first year in Hogwarts learning about the Quidditch and practicing flying more than anyone in the entire castle.
Come second year, Donghyuck auditions the first day of class after summer break. You remember how the entirety of the Hogwarts had cheered when he showed off his flying skills. It didn’t take long for the captain of Slytherin’s Quidditch team to pick him that day. He’d started as one of the keepers, showcasing his impressive ability to defend Slytherin’s hoops, and made his way up as the team’s Seeker, having been promoted this year, fifth year.
And today was his first big game as their house’s Seeker. It’s Slytherin versus Ravenclaw for the first round, and the entire castle is just shuddering in excitement. Lee Taeyong was Slytherin’s most well-known Seeker, the second youngest Seeker after Harry Potter himself, and the longest one for House Slytherin—from first year until he’d graduated last year. This year is exceptionally intriguing because no one’s won against Slytherin because of Lee Taeyong—at least for the rest of Hogwarts.
It’s different for you, though. It’s appealing in some sense, but stressful in a way.
Donghyuck must feel so much pressure now. You’ve unwillingly known him for years, and despite the never-ending games of teasing and pranks, you and him are everything but strangers. Hence, you conclude that it’s normal to feel this way.
“Quidditch players are so damn lucky,” Renjun, a friend from Hufflepuff, huffs from behind you. “They’re excused for classes when it’s Quidditch season. I wish Slug Club get some sort of perks, too.”
You giggle, hopping and wrapping an arm around the Hufflepuff’s shoulders. “We get the Christmas party every year.”
Renjun shakes you off of him. “Hey, I don’t want to get in trouble with the Slytherins.”
You raise an eyebrow. “Why would you get in trouble with the Slytherins? That’s such a stereotype, Renjun-ah! You’re the last person I thought would have some prejudice over houses!”
“That’s not what I mean, idiot,” he replies. “Words say one of the Slytherins has a thing or two for you. And I don’t want to be in their radar.”
You slap him on the arm. “Didn’t take you to be such a gossiper.”
“It’s not gossip if it’s true!” he defends, ruffling your hair. “Off to Transfiguration?”
You groan. “Yeah. Let’s go together?”
“Sure. Did you finish the assignment—”
“Hey, idiot!” Renjun is cut off by Donghyuck running back to you. “I just remembered I need you for a moment.”
Then he’s pulling you away from Renjun.
You arrive late for Transfiguration. Because Donghyuck wanted you to look at his uniform. Talk about being annoying.
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three
Defense Against the Dark Arts is in third period, and Yeji hurts herself halfway through the hour. Yeji and Chenle were playing around and were practicing hex-deflection; the scenarios happened too fast that nobody caught on that Yeji’s been hurt until Chenle started screaming.
“She’ll be fine,” Madam Pompfrey assures as she covers the now sleeping Yeji with duvet. “I’ll have her stay here for the night, too. You can go back to class.”
You nod. DADA is over by now, anyway. “By the way, Madam Pompfrey,” you call out just before she closes the curtain separating Yeji’s bed from the others.
“Earlier today,” you start. “I had really bad cramps because of my period. I found a vial with a blue, green-ish kind of fluid and recklessly drank it. It really helped. Do you have any idea what that is?”
Madam Pompfrey’s eyes widen. “So, that was for you?”
“Huh?”
She smiles. “Donghyuck from Slytherin house has been experimenting on that potion with me for weeks now. He’s been studying in the library, looking for the best ingredients to help with women’s menstrual cramps without any side effects that could compromise the condition of the rest of your body. I heard he had a sister in third year, so I assumed it was for her.”
Your heart somersaults like never before. Madam Pompfrey smiles knowingly. “I guess it was for you,” she concludes.
You leave the hospital wing with your breath hitched, each step making your knees weaker by the second. Lee Donghyuck knows how to annoy you even when he’s on the other side of the damn castle.
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four
Lee Donghyuck pulls you away from your friends when you’re on your way out from the Great Hall after lunch.
The door of Room of Requirement appears before you, and Donghyuck pulls you with him, dressed in his brand-new uniform, different from the one he wore earlier before he ran off to practice at the Quidditch Tower. You wonder how he even finds the time to annoy you when the tournament starts in about two hours.
When the door closes, you observe that the room’s transformed itself into a room the size of a greenhouse, filled with lavenders, jasmine, and chamomile. And you have the slightest idea why Donghyuck needs a room full of flowers at this point. You gently place your copy of Advanced Potion-Making on a table that holds countless of ceramic plants holding lavenders.
He starts walking back and forth, anxiety showing in his eyes and the corners of his lips. You can hear how heavily he’s breathing from where you stand.
“Anxious?” you ask. Donghyuck only nods, still walking back and forth. “Here. Come here.” He stops, turning so he could look at you. You step closer when he doesn’t move and take both his hands in yours.
“Breathe in,” you softly say. Donghyuck follows. You start counting to five. “Breathe out.”
You and him repeat and stay like that until you hear his breathing go back to its normal pace. He keeps his eyes on your shoes.
“You’re gonna be fine,” you murmur. Donghyuck closes his eyes. You reach up and cradle his face in your palms. “Where’s all that confidence now? Did you run out of it after drowning me with an incredibly unnecessary amount of confidence all these years? This is the time you need it the most.”
Donghyuck falls apart in your touch and opens his eyes, chuckling. “I knew I made the right decision to pull you here. My confidence came back just now. You’re my confidence. Because you suck and I’m the best.”
“Yeah, yeah,” you reply, rolling your eyes as you step back, the space between you and him reclaiming its presence. “That, you are.”
He smiles. “You don’t suck that much. Just a little. Sometimes.”
“You, too,” you agree. “You’re going to kill it. I’ll cheer on you even if it means everyone in Ravenclaw House hates me.”
“No one could ever hate you,” he says like it’s a fact.
You smirk. “You do, though.”
“I’ve never said I hate you,” he bites back. “In five years that we’ve been unwillingly revolving around each other’s gravity, I’ve never said I hate you.”
You nod. “I know.” You reach up to gently pat his cheeks once again. “People will know you as Lee Donghyuck today, not Lee Taeyong’s replacement. I know that is exactly what’s been going around in that head of yours. They’re gonna remember you today when you show them No Hands and woo the crowd with Sloth Grip Roll. And you’re gonna win it out there.”
Donghyuck’s eyes follow your lips as you speak. He stares at it longer than he should, and you stare at his, like a magnet pulling you in. His honey-colored skin and tantalizing brown eyes look beautiful under the sunlight peeking from the windows of the room, and from where you stand, you see how much he'd grown. Part of you wonders if he feels the same, seeing you in this light and being taken aback to five years ago, the very first day you'd met in the train to Hogwarts. You mull over the possibility of knowing him beyond what the walls of this castle could show you, knowing him beyond teasing remarks and harmless pranks, knowing him beyond all these years of push-and-pull, knowing him beyond sneaking glances at his lips.
But you’re not about to kiss him in the Room of Requirement. Not when all your feelings are all over the place, scattered and lost. Not when you aren’t sure if he even feels the same kind of rush when you’re around.
It doesn't help that this, whatever this means, has been going on for years. You and Donghyuck are growing up together, and though you and him keep saying you're unwillingly spending your teenage years together, you can't help but think, if given the choice in a few years, would you finally, willingly spend your twenties together?
You're nearing the end of your teenage years together, involuntarily and as borderline friends. Does Donghyuck ever think of you in ways you—admittedly—daydream about him sometimes? Does he think of you when he drinks chamomile tea the way you remember him when you get a taste of butterbeer? Does he also wonder what you do in the summer and think of calling you, only to back out right before pressing call because his heart is thump, thump, thumping like fucking crazy just by the thought of hearing your voice?
Does Donghyuck feel the way your knees are weak now?
Your heart pounds, so loud that you can hear it beating right in your eardrums.
So, you flee, telling him you’re late for Potions, which you most definitely are, leaving Donghyuck and hopefully, the feelings you can’t seem to figure out.
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five
The room smells like the Quidditch pitch when you arrive fifteen minutes into the class.
Professor Slughorn raises an eyebrow on you, but tilts his head towards the board where it shows which potion the class is working on today. You find your way towards Yuna and it’s only then that you realize you’d left your Advanced Potions-Making book inside the Room of Requirement. Yuna lets you share her book. The entire class is halfway done anyway.
The potion for the day is called Amortentia, which is apparently the most powerful love potion in existence, which you think is absolute bullshit. You skip through all its description, effects, and history, proceeding to the details instructions of how it’s done.
You start with boiling half a cup of standard potion water and later on adding ashwinder eggs, rose thorns, refined peppermint oil, and moonstone. Once it’s exactly as it’s described in the book, you drop the mother of pearl. The last ingredient was a drop of blood, so you quickly prickle a finger with a needle, pressing your pink with two fingers until the red liquid drops from your skin down to the cauldron.
You finish a little later than everybody, and you’re not sure whether you’d followed the instructions correctly, because yours still smell like the Quidditch pitch. You look around, and everybody’s busy smelling theirs. You lean over to your cauldron, and it doesn’t smell like anything exceptional in particular. Alongside the grassy scent of the pitch is warm tonka bean, deep cedar, and the overwhelming scent of rich jasmine and vivacious juniper berries, which isn’t really that impressive because you smell this all the time.
You smell it all the time because it smells exactly like Donghyuck.
You grab the book from the table you share with Yuna.
Page 62 says, “Amortentia is the most powerful love potion in existence. It caused a powerful infatuation or obsession from the drinker. It had a distinctive mother-of-pearl sheen, and steam rose from it in characteristic spirals. Amortentia is considered an incredibly dangerous potion, as one should have never underestimated obsessive infatuation.” Then why the fuck does it smell like Donghyuck? And the entire god damn room, too? Does Donghyuck bathe in Amortentia every day?
“Yuna,” you ask. “What does your potion smell like?”
“Sandalwood,” she answers dreamily. “And leather. And floral rose.”
Oh. Then you must have done something wrong. “I think I mixed up the ingredients.”
“Well, what does yours smell like?”
You shrug, “Something really weird.” You turn the page to 63 where the potion is described better.
“Amortentia smells different for everyone,” Yuna continues, and so does the book.
“Amortentia has a different aroma for everyone who smelt it, reminding each person of the things that they found most attractive," the book says.
“Basically,” Yuna’s voice fades in the background. “You smell whatever you’re attracted to."
"Even if the person did not acknowledge or was unaware of their fondness for the object of their affection themselves," the book shouts.
Oh no.
Yuna sighs dreamily, "I aced mine pretty well. I mean, for example, my potion smells exactly like—”
“Donghyuck,” you whisper when it truly, truly hits you.
“No, silly,” she laughs.
“No, Yuna,” you protest. “Mine smells like—”
“Donghyuck, what brings you here?” Professor Slughorn’s voice catches you off-guard. You and Yuna turn to where he’s looking at, and by the door, Lee Donghyuck stands, holding your copy of Advanced Potion-Making.
“I just wanted to bring this to Y/N. She’d left it when she was wandering around Slytherin’s quarters because she’s so obsessed with me,” he announces, smiling widely as he shows off the book.
You stay frozen in place. “What are you all cooking?” Donghyuck sniffs, looking around until he locks eyes with you. “What’s this horrible scent?”
Oh, no.
Donghyuck keeps his eyes on you, equally as confused when he starts realize what the potions smell like.
“Why are you wasting so much perfume, Y/N?” he asks. Everyone goes silent. “The room smells like absolute shit.”
Oh. Merlin’s Beard.
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bonus
Slytherin House wins, of course, and you lose your voice cheering for Ravenclaw and Lee Donghyuck, which earned you side-eyes from your peers and at the same time teasing remarks from Renjun and Yuna.
His friends call you an honorary Slytherin and invites you to their Common Room. You're the first person that Lee Donghyuck looks for at the afterparty.
He arrives earlier than the others, and his mates gather around him as soon as he steps in the room, but Donghyuck, Merlin's Beard, Lee Donghyuck doesn't waste time and goes straight to where you stand and kisses the air out of your lungs.
You're on your fifth year in Hogwarts when you learn that Lee Donghyuck tastes like strawberries and that the perfume his mother makes for him is made from jasmine and juniper berries.
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neon-junkie · 5 months
Text
Fractured
Summary: Tech's recent injury has led him to your Medical Bay, and despite you being excellent at your job, Tech needs additional assistance with easing the pain. You have something fun in mind.
Pairing: Tech x gn!Reader
Tags: Medical assistance, Fractured bones, Medic Reader, Friends to lovers, Oral (giving,) Handjobs, Size kink, Cock worship, Large cocks, Flirting, Pain relief.
Word count: 5.1k
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Notes: This is set after Episode 1&2 of Season 2. I actually started writing this back when those episodes aired, but then… depression… lol I have never broken/fractured a bone before (alpha genes,) so I have no idea what actually goes on when you break one lol. I did my research, but… IDK, this is probs off, but you're not here for the medical side of things, are you? Also, I like the idea of nerds with big dicks. I don't really care about size IRL, but Tech with an absolute unit of a cock? Yeah, sign me the fuck up!!!
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"You got squished like a bug."
"I did not-" Tech cuts himself off. "Like a bug? Please, restrain yourself from making such comedic remarks about my pain and suffering."
With that, Tech lets out a grunt, and you're unsure if it's at your remark, or an outlet from the pain that he's currently in.
Tech was squished like a bug during the last mission. Splat! As you so put it, after Tech explained what exactly happened in that war chest. The force of a thousand suns flattened his poor leg, and his thigh soaked up most of the damage.
That's what he gets for not wearing thigh armour.
That comment didn't go down well, either. However, Tech should know by now that your wit and sarcasm will never fail you. You have, after all, been running with the Batch long before the Clone Wars fizzled out into… whatever this is, The Galactic Empire, and those who opposite it.
If only Hunter would allow you and the others to join the fight…
Back onto the topic. Tech was carried into the Marauder's medical wing, with Echo's assistance, and left on the medical bed for you to check him over. He was hissing and wincing as he pushed himself up onto the table, his hands flexing whilst he gripped onto his thigh, and pleading eyes met yours as he began going over the series of events.
You were stationed with Hunter and Wrecker, seeing as Wrecker is your loyalist customer when it comes to injuries, only Tech has taken you by surprise!
"It's definitely fractured," you state as you dig through your medical kit, finding something exciting to dial down the pain. Tech has stated that he'd prefer to remain awake, which is understandable, seeing as you won't be stitching him up, or worse, cutting him open.
"I assume I'll have to lounge around with a cast on for the next six weeks?" Tech questions, his eyes watching you as you read over a few labels, deciding which drugs to supply.
"Minimum," you say with a soft nod, half-focused on his words. "These will do," you decide, holding the pill bottle in one hand, whilst the other shuts your medical box.
You turn to face Tech, and with a nonchalant expression, you order, "take off your pants."
Tech's eyes blink wide beneath his goggles, and he lets out a sheepish cough before asking, "pardon?"
"I can't do an X-ray with your pants still on, and do you really want your cast applied over those jeans?" you point to his new pants - casual, straight jeans, which surely can't be comfortable to work in?
Forgive him. It's his first time out in the Galaxy, and a newly freed man is bound to make poor decisions. Live and learn, Tech…
"Oh," Tech mutters. "Understood."
You hand him the pill bottle first, along with a glass of water, and give Tech a strict order to take his drugs before stripping off. "I'll give you some privacy, call for me when you're ready," you inform, and leave the medical wing, the door swishing shut behind you.
Sure, you've seen Tech in all sorts of states, almost naked that one time, back when you were new. Wrecker had found it hilarious to fiddle with the refresher's water supply as Tech went to take a shower, and poor Tech, who was rather reserved when first meeting you, had to leave the refresher with only a towel around his waist. He had barked at Wrecker to, "leave the hot water supply alone! Are you attempting to impress our newest member? Or perhaps, make a fool of me? Both? Do you find this amusing?!" blah blah blah…
-
Minutes have passed, and you overhear Tech calling out, "you may come in."
The door swishes open, and you're greeted by Tech in the same position on the medical bed, relaxing back against the headboard. An untidy pile of armour and clothing has appeared on the floor, not that he has the ability to neatly organise them.
Tech remains in just his turtleneck under armour, his fingertips currently running along the neckline, picking at its tightness. He's wearing a standard pair of briefs, nothing enticing, and the hemline thankfully stops above the X-ray zone. Great! You don't fancy having to order Tech to remove those as they're in the way…
As for the last item of clothing, they're-
"Tech," you speak with firmness. "Are those my socks?"
Tech stops picking at his neckline to gawk down at his feet. His wiggles his toes mindlessly as he sheepishly mumbles, "it appears they are."
"Is that so?" you repeat with a raised brow.
Tech's pleading eyes come out again as he meets your gaze. "I could not find a pair of my own this morning, and seeing as we were in a rush, I opted for the next best thing."
Your eyes trail from his to look at your socks once more, the little tookas on them smiling at you. They're fuzzy, warm and snuggly, and not the sort of item that you ever thought you'd see on Tech.
Omega? Perhaps.
Wrecker? Definitely.
But Tech?
"The next best thing," you repeat his words again. "I'm surprised that you picked the tookas over the voorpaks."
Tech scoffs. "Tookas are the obvious choice. Whilst voorpaks may be pleasing to the eye, they're needy, with no consideration for personal space. Tookas, on the other hand, are far more independent animals, with a…" Tech shuts his mouth, and nervously licks his lips before asking, "I'm rambling again, aren't I?"
"A sign that the drugs have kicked in," you say with a shrug. "Time to X-ray!"
Tech lets out a defeated sigh, and watches as you set up the X-ray machine. It's a numbing and dull task, but needed, seeing as such a smart man has managed to get himself injured.
The X-ray is taken, and you leave Tech to his own devices as you begin processing the scan at your desk. Whilst you wait for the image to form, you check on a few other things, and in the corner of your eye, you notice how Tech fails to sit still.
His fingertips are running along his neckline again, attempting to find fresh air, even though his under armour has never seemed restricting before. A light glisten of sweat is sitting above his brow, and whenever Tech's hands stray from his neckline, they rest directly on his lap. His fingertips begin fidgeting with the hem of his briefs, only for his eyes to meet yours, and his hands to fall motionless.
"Are you alright?" you question.
"F-fine," Tech mutters. "Just awaiting the results."
With that, the scan is processed, and you hum to yourself as you study it. Tech doesn't look away from you; he studies your reaction, and his shoulders drop with relief as yours do. "It's not as bad as I thought," you state as you rise from your desk. "I'll apply a cast, and unfortunately for you, you'll be bound to the Marauder for the next few weeks."
"Charming," Tech huffs.
You put together a bowl of warm soapy water, and hand it over to Tech, along with a towel. "Give your thigh a good scrub. It'll be the last time it's cleaned until the cast can come off."
Tech follows your orders, and leaves you to begin putting the cast supplies together. He's letting out soft grumbles as he scrubs himself down, not applying much pressure, seeing as bruises have already begun forming.
Within minutes, you're ready, and Tech is attempting to dry his thigh. The bowl of water is discarded, and you softly mutter, "here," as you take the towel from him. "Let me help."
With your order, Tech slowly bends his leg, raising his knee high enough so that you can gently dry the underside of his thigh - a task that he was struggling to do alone. He's still wincing as you dab over the area, but nowhere near as much as he was when tending to himself. It seems you're light on your touch, and Tech is silently thankful for it.
"Keep your leg bent like that," you instruct as you dispose of the towel, and bring your cast supplies over to the workbench.
You gently run your palm over Tech's thigh, questioning if his skin is dry enough to begin the application, and only now do you realise the predicament that you're in.
You're no stranger to Tech's good looks - impeccable cheekbones, a toned chest, nimble fingers, adorable doe eyes, and a hairline so sharp that it can slice through beskar - but the issue is purely that, his good looks. You're attempting to work, and the sensation of your fingertips dancing through the light hair on his tanned thighs is causing quite the distraction.
You scoot your stool over to the medical bed, and adjust the height. Once seated, you let out a deep sigh before beginning your work, attempting to keep your eyes on his forming bruises, rather than allowing it to wander… higher…
Tech looks down at you, quite literally, watching through his tinted goggles as you begin binding his leg, paying special attention to any signs of discomfort - not that he shows any. His fingertips are subconsciously entwining with each other, fidgeting, and attempting to cover up his briefs out of politeness. It's not that you've never seen Tech, or any of the boys in their undies before, but your face is less than half a meter from his crotch, and you're both well aware.
A huff flows from your lips as you fix the soft material in place, the easy part over and done with. Now, it's time to wet the plaster, and apply it one strip at a time - a lengthy process, seeing as you have to wait for each layer to dry before continuing.
As time goes on, you both seem to relax, becoming accustomed to your new-found closeness. Tech even strikes up a light conversation, filling you in on his side of the mission, and speaking highly about the civilian that he met on the way.
"He called me Ace," Tech informs you, "not that I had any issue with it. I found the nickname rather appealing."
Your eyes trail up to meet his, and a soft laugh slips from your lips as you repeat, "Ace?"
"I think it suits me," Tech says with a shrug. "Besides…"
His words continue, shifting into comforting background noise as you do your job. At least Tech is comfortable with you; when you first met, he'd only ever correct you, or information dump on you. Now, you can hold a conversation, seeing as you managed to win him over after correcting him on a minor detail a few weeks into being stationed with the Batch.
The more Tech mutters, the more his form relaxes. His hands move from his lap to adjust his goggles, not that they probably need it, and you can't help but notice something in the corner of your eye.
In hindsight, this was your fault. You shouldn't have looked. You should have kept your focus on your work, and prevented your eyes from prying at Tech's crotch. He is, after all, a grown man sitting in his underwear, with a pretty Medic rubbing their hands along his bare thigh. Tech is a soldier, and it's a known fact that soldiers don't have much leisure time, let alone spare time to do… stuff.
Your lips fall apart, and every circuit in your brain fries within an instant. Your hands, wet and covered in plaster, come to a halt in the middle of a wrap, and all you can focus on is… that.
Tech, after adjusting his goggles, instantly falls silent as he notices that you've come to a halt. He calls out your name, and despite his exceptional mind, it takes him a few moments to realise what's caused you to stop like a deer in the headlights.
"Oh," Tech sheepishly sighs as he puts two and two together. "I…" he stutters, but words fail him. So, thinking on his feet (and fractured leg) he returns his hands to his lap, covering up the issue.
Only now do you realise that you're a karking idiot. Seriously, why did you have to stare?! Why couldn't you have turned away, blushed, and continued working?
You go to apologise, but Tech beats you to it. "I apologise… It's… It's not intentional-" he sputters.
You let out a soft sigh, and shake your head in an attempt to slap some sense into your dense brain. "Tech," you mumble his name, and after blinking heavily, you look up at him.
Tech, with cheeks so bright that they outshine the suns, fails to make eye contact. He's breathing deeply, and mentally questioning if it's possible for him to run away from his problems, even with a half-finished, wet cast around his thigh.
Instead, Tech defends himself even more, seeing as the first option isn't doable. "I have been attempting to control myself this entire time, but it seems my-"
"-Tech," you call out to him again.
Tech finally meets your gaze, but only for a moment. He can't maintain eye contact, he simply can't, that is, until you state something that has his mind spinning in confusion.
"You're huge."
"P-pardon?" Tech sputters, followed by coughing into the back of his hand. That is not what he was expecting to fall from your lips.
You wave your hands defensively, droplets of plaster falling onto the medical bed. "I mean, it's alright, you can't help it," you sputter. Now, you're the one struggling to maintain eye contact, your mind fogging up, clouded with one simple thought.
"Can't help what?" Tech questions. "My erection? Or my size?"
A timid laugh flows from your lips, "I meant your erection, but both, I guess…"
Tech laughs with you, although it's clear that he's nervous. Whatever this is - intimacy, of some form - is new. You're no stranger to light flirting with your boys, and often receiving it in return, but holy Maker. Tech is rock solid, and there is no denying that you're the cause of it; the evidence is right there!
"Well…" Tech's words fall flat, and after adjusting his goggles, he gears up again. Rather than sit in silence, mutually starstruck over the unit sitting in Tech's pants, Tech decides to ramble as much as humanly possible. "…I have chalked my size up as a side effect from my enhancements. There are multiple documented cases that the standard clones all share the same erection size. I am, however, beyond those standards."
"Wait-" you cut him short with a soft laugh. "-There are documented cases of what?"
Tech lets out a chuckle, and shakes his head in awe that he's having to bring this information to light. "It's no secret that we clones have had intimate relationships, and some partners like to… how should I say it? Discuss their experiences with others on the holonet."
You repeat Tech's motions, softly laughing and shaking your head, amazed over this new information. "You mean, people like to jump on the holonet and discuss which Troopers kriff the best?"
"That is one way of putting it, yes."
"Dank farrik," you laugh. You mean, the information that you've been curious about this entire time, has been on the holonet at your disposal? Idiot! Why didn't you simply search for it?
There's no denying that you're attracted to both your squad, and their regular brothers, and as always, curiosity wanders… At least some beings were smart enough to post their findings on the net, along with… whatever else might be on there. You make a mental note to check it out later!
"What were you doing on those sites?" you question, and decide to start working again, seeing as the plaster is slowly drying on your fingertips.
To your surprise, Tech's emotions remain calm as he mindlessly replies, "I was researching my… ahem, abnormality."
"I see…" you conclude. Curious for more, you take a gamble, and up your flirting game. "Has anybody started a thread for Clone Force 99?" you say with a soft purr, causing Tech's ears to perk up as blush begins to form across his cheeks.
"I…" Tech stutters. "Not that I am aware of, no," he says with a nervous chuckle.
Still with wet plaster on your hands, you put on a cheeky grin as you ask, "we could fill in the blank."
Your name comes stumbling out of Tech's mouth as all the heat in his body rises to his cheeks. "You cannot be serious!" He sweats, refusing to maintain eye contact. Nervous hands fiddle with the hemline of his shirt, wringing the fabric tightly in his bare palms, all whilst still attempting to cover up the topic in the room.
"I am," you say with a shrug. "I mean, I've just about seen yours," you gesture to his erection, hidden behind a thin layer of fabric, yet bold enough to make your imagination dance.
"M-Maker," Tech stutters once more. "Where are those pills?"
You laugh as Tech fumbles about with the pill bottle at his side, sliding another one out into the palm of his hand. He doesn't even bother swigging it down with water, dry swallowing the pill like an absolute mad man. "You do know those pills are to ease your pain, right?" you state whilst wrapping another layer around his leg.
"I am certainly in some form of pain. Although I am unsure of the exact type," he sighs, and finally takes a sip of water, correcting his prior mistake.
Biting back a laugh, you suggest, "painfully hard?"
Tech lets out a long and frustrated sigh, meeting your gaze as his shoulders drop in disappointment. "Hilarious," he sarcastically replies, pinching his brow in annoyance.
With a smirk on your lips, you boldly look down at his erection. "It sure seems like you are," you comment, then continue your focus on applying his cast, nearing the end. "You know, sexual pleasure can help ease the pain, and act as a good distraction," you hint, bringing the fact to light. If Tech wants more, then this is his opportunity to take it.
"As delightful as that sounds, penetration would be near impossible in my current state," he gestures to his leg, as if it couldn't be any more obvious.
"There are things that you can do besides penetration, Tech."
Whilst watching you apply the final layer, Tech moves a hand up, fingertips meeting his chin. His brows are furrowed, a sign that he's in deep thought. "You are correct," he hums, before crossing his arms across his chest. "Although I have to question if partaking in such an act will adjust our friendship, and our status within this squad."
"Only if you want it to," you respond, and begin cleaning up, allowing Tech's new cast to dry. "The way I see it, I'm just helping a friend out."
"Well, when you put it like that…" Tech ponders, shifting into deep thought.
Silence fills the air, and yet, you can practically hear Tech's brain ticking away. He's panning everything together, questioning every minor detail, move, motive. Sure, you are helping him out, but wouldn't this lead to other things? Would either of you catch feelings? Have you already caught feelings?
Tech's eyes flick between the pill bottle, and you. He studies you, letting out a soft hum as you tidy up, putting all your equipment away after washing your hands. "I can feel your gaze on me, Tech," you comment, not bothering to look up from your current task.
"Sorry," Tech exhales. "You do have a valid point. This… sexual favour would indeed assist in relieving my pain, yet I cannot accept such a gesture without reciprocating it."
"Let's say that you owe me one, and I can redeem it whenever I see fit," you suggest. You perch yourself on the edge of the medical bed, your form resting against Tech's undamaged thigh. Gently, you tap your fingertips on his cast, testing to see if the material has dried through. "You're all set. So, what do you say?" you offer with a raised brow.
Tech firmly shakes his head in agreement, "I accept your assistance."
"Great," you purr. Your hand comes to rest on his chest, instantly making the man beneath your palm nervous, and he doesn't bother to hide it. "But what do you want me to do, Tech?" you ask, drumming your fingertips against him.
Licking his lips, Tech's eyes wander down to where your hand is resting, before coming up to meet your alluring gaze. "Perhaps you… could possibly…"
"Spit it out," you tut.
"Just… touch me," Tech finally manages to spit his demands out, all whilst looking like he's about to faint. "Your hand alone will be more than suffice," he adds in an apologetic tone, as if he's embarrassed about what has just slipped from his lips.
Eager to see him burst, you ask, "do you want my mouth too?"
"Oh stars."
Tech, the most calm, calculated, and captivating man that you've ever met, is currently turning into putty beneath your fingertips. You've not even touched him, well, at least not in that way, and he looks like he's about to ejaculate at any moment! Maybe it's the pain relief pills that he's taken, or maybe it's because he has a secret crush on you. The answer, you'll never know. All you can do is work with what you've got - a whimpering mess of a man.
"You don't have to answer that yet. Let's just start with my hand," you answer for him. Tech watches through his thick lenses as the hand on his chest begins to trail south, over his lower ribs, across his soft stomach, and now meeting his hips.
Gently, you rest your hand atop of his erection, and Tech just about moans at the minor contact. "I apologise," he sputters, bringing a hand up to cover his mouth.
"Don't apologise, I want you to be vocal," you coo. "Well, maybe keep it down a bit, unless you want the others over-hearing?"
Tech shakes his head, then returns his eyes to watching the action. Your strokes are gentle, yet firm, the complete opposite of Tech's rising chest. Is he a virgin? Or has it been a while? Either way, you begin matching his pathetic state once his briefs are adjusted, and Tech's cock is finally free.
"Kriff," you whimper, eyeing up Tech in all his glory. Maker, you weren't expecting such a slender man to be packing so much heat! Sure, it looked rather large when hidden behind his briefs, but now it's here, throbbing in your hand.
You begin pumping his length, slow at first, until finding your rhythm. All the while, Tech is a panting mess, his gaze flicking between your expression, and what's happening between his legs. He all about caves when you slowly trail a blob of spit down onto his tip, lubricating his cock as you continue jerking it.
"This is going to be the death of me," Tech pants. His head rolls back to rest on the headboard, whilst his hands come up to hide his face. He groans into his palms, the odd muscle in his body twitching as pleasure washes through him. When Tech finally does remove his hands from his face, his goggles are on a slight tilt, and surprisingly, he doesn't bother fixing them.
"Oh?" you say with a quirked brow. "I can make things much worse."
"Do enlighten me," Tech suggests, gazing at you through half-lidded eyes.
"How about I show you instead?"
All Tech can do is nod eagerly, yet he fails to prepare himself for what's about to come. (Or who's about to come.)
It's an awkward position, but after readjusting yourself to lie on your side, you manage to make do. Tech's eyes widen as you move your mouth closer to his cock, soon introducing your tongue to the tip. He moans your name, followed by a painful wince.
"Stop putting pressure on your thigh," you look up at him, cock in hand. "That defeats the purpose of my assistance."
In hindsight, you should have propped a pillow beneath his ankle, but something was preventing you from thinking rationally!
Tech mumbles a, "sorry," whilst looking at you with pleading eyes. You know what he wants, and who are you to deny it? You continue introducing your tongue to his tip, his shoulders instantly relaxing at the minor contact.
You soon find yourself sucking the tip, your hand working magic on the rest of his shaft. Already, there's an ache in your jaw, and you silently question how you're going to make this fit… No matter, you'll do what you can, and all efforts seem to be highly appreciated by Tech, who is reaching the state of debauchery as every second passes.
Through the chaos of spit and slobber, a tender hand comes out to rest on the back of your head. The other one finds your free hand, and Tech makes an effort to entwining his fingers with yours. You vocalise your appreciation to his gentle gesture by humming, only that causes Tech to stir. The sensation of vibrations running along his cock earns you another series of pathetic whimpers, and you, being the mischievous devil that you are, decide to only make things harder for him.
Slipping his cock from your lips, you continue pumping the shaft whilst your mouth wanders south. You slip one of his balls in your mouth, gently sucking on it. Tech's mind quite literally explodes! The hand on the back of your head grabs a fistful of your hair, although he is careful as to not hurt you. His other hand, however, removes itself from your palm to grip on the edge of the bed, a desperate attempt at steadying himself.
"Easy boy," you coo, before focusing on his other testicle.
"I c-can't…" Tech sputters. "I cannot hold on any longer, please," he whimpers, begging for what?
"Tell me what you need," you instruct.
"T-To finish… inside your mouth, if you'd be s-so kind," Tech blurts out, his thigh muscles twitching with want. So much for helping ease his pain, hm?
Removing your mouth from him, you peer up to meet his gaze. Tech's hair is askew, loose strands hanging forwards against his flushed face. Desperation is clear in his eyes, although it's laced with warmth and admiration. Tech was right, you two aren't just going to be friends after this, and quite honestly, you're fine with that.
"How can I ever deny you?" you flirt, earning a sigh from Tech. That sigh shifts into a moan as you slip your lips over his tip, and work your mouth to its limit.
Your name is on repeat, drifting from Tech's lips like a prayer. In the back of his mind, he's thanking this strange turn of events. If he wasn't in that war chest, then none of this would have happened, and the pain is most definitely worth it.
A few pumps of Tech's shaft, and he loses himself in the warmth of your mouth. Tech has to remove his hand from your hair to bite his knuckles, a poor attempt of silencing his final moans. The Marauder does not have soundproof walls, so you two will need to come up with a story for when you finally decide to enter the medical wing, and regroup with the Batch.
"Thank you," Tech repeats, over and over, panting as if he's just run a marathon. He looks exhausted, yet you're the one doing all the hard work!
After removing your mouth from his tip, you swallow his load, which only causes Tech to fall even deeper into admiration. "How do you feel?" you ask whilst grabbing the glass of water, left forgotten on the workbench besides the medical bed.
"Euphoric," Tech responds without missing a beat. "The pain was worth it," he adds.
"Are you still in pain?" you ask, offering him what's left of the water.
He swiftly responds, "no," before downing the rest. "You seemed to have worked wonders on me," Tech comments.
You let out a soft chuckle, and rise to your feet, eager to get out of the awkward position. After wiping your mouth dry with a towel, you assist in cleaning Tech up, not that he needs it. It's his leg that's fractured, not his cock, but you're too sweet on the poor man. "You need rest," you comment as you tuck his cock away, putting his unit to bed within the confinement of his briefs.
Tech ponders, and only now does he straighten out his wonky goggles. "I have already asked so much of you, but I have one last request."
"Let's hear it?"
"I… require some assistance with getting to my bunk," Tech sheepishly asks, earning a laugh from you.
"Of course I'll help you with that!"
It's quite the task, seeing as Tech has the upper hand when it comes to height, but you manage to help him to his feet, swinging an arm across your neck for extra stability. You turn to leave the medical wing, until something crosses your mind. Gesturing to the pain relief pills, you state, "you'll probably be needing these."
A smug grin creeps over Tech's lips. "Oh, I don't think I will," he flirts. This time, you're the one blushing, yet you agree with his statement.
Hobbling down the Marauder, Tech's cabin soon comes to your reach, and before you know it, you're helping him into bed. Thank the Maker that the others have retired for the night, hopefully none of them heard that!
After removing Tech's shirt, a pillow is placed under his ankle, providing extra comfort throughout the night. You retrieve him a glass of water, re-entering his cabin to see that he's tucked himself under the covers, his goggles lying on the bedside table.
"Do you need anything else?" you offer, soon expecting to be in your own bunk. It has been a long day, and you're oh-so-eager for your own rest.
"Actually, I was thinking…" Tech trails off, which causes you to raise your brow. "Surely you should spend the night here with me? You know, in case I require support throughout the night-"
"-I know what you're hinting at, Tech," you say with a light laugh, shaking your head at him. "You don't need an excuse, but sure, we can use that when the others ask why I'm leaving your cabin tomorrow morning."
Tech chuckles, watching eagerly as you strip down into your underwear, soon joining him in bed. You're greeted by his stretched out arm, offering you a cuddle, which you gladly accept, all whilst keeping his injury in mind.
"Goodnight, Tech," you exhale, resting your hand on his chest as your head finds its place within the curve of his neck.
"Goodnight," Tech repeats, holding you tightly.
"And remember, I owe you…"
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bloodykora · 7 months
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If you’re still doing Buggy headcanons: Sooo I always actually thought big noses on people are INCREDIBLY attractive. Give me men with noses that look just a bit too beaten up, women with noses that are big and wide, give me Roman noses and hawk noses and any unconventionally attractive nose and I am SWOONING.
… I feel the prompt almost writes itself at this point, what would Buggy think of someone who sees his funny looking nose not as a flaw but a mayor charm point and just constantly gives it kisses, traces it affectionately, boops it or comments (in all honesty and absolutely genuinely) how handsome and distinguished it makes him look, how it really suits him etc?
Wanna read about that man bluescreening because he hasn’t even treathened them yet to not make fun of his nose and they are already at the „flattering him to save themself“ stage? What do you MEAN you’re not saying that to safe yourself?!
This fucking anon/ask made me giggle so much, I literally showed it to my friends. I hope I did you and the prompt justice!
Enter the moment in Annie where Ms. Hannigan sees Warbucks’ diamond and goes “Oh my god, is that thing real?!” in shock but also delight. Me at that dude’s honker. (I want to be put on his nose like he has gangrene and I’m a leech who sucks on it to get the blood flow going) Also enter the Doja Cat quote of liking big noses.
- At first, dude is fucking weirded out. People have made comments and jokes about this stupid little red thing on his face and you… you think it’s attractive??? Huh.
- Definitely thinks you’re lying at first (and for the next few months), you’re literally the only person who is able to shut him up.
- Curtain drops, spot light is on, the blue haired clown walks in. Blabbering on about how his entrance should be more enthusiastic, but you got your eyes on your own prize, bright big red nostrils. If he wants an entrance, you’ll give him one by starting to clap loudly, getting so giddy that you start slightly hopping.
- “Oh my goodness, that is just.” Loss for words. “Are you making fun of me?” He approaches you, you hear him but his words don’t really seep into your brain at the moment. “It’s gorgeous, literally the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” Your eyes are locked with his eyes and before he can even reply you reach up to brush your fingertip against his nose.
- Wants you dead first, no one has gotten close to touching it in years. And you, a low life nobody insults him like that. You get strung up immediately, your arm stretched so your fingers are out.
- “For that little ploy, I’ll take your fingers first and then your life.” Yes you’re scared but really could you regret it? This was the pirate’s life. “Oh, darn. Well, I’ll at least die happily. My eyes set on the most lovely nose I’ve seen in my years of life.”
- Thinks you’re still making fun of him until a few compliments later it clicks in his head that you mean it, with no hint of sarcasm or mockery. He lets you down, immediately ordering his crew to take care of the others you came with while he returns (runs) to his quarters. He’s a little intrigued by you, willing to die for a graze of his face. He keeps you as well, not that you’re upset by it.
- Crew thinks you’re hilarious, stopping a task to gaze longingly at the captain until either he realizes in which he shoos you back to work or he walks away. You boost his ego a ton though.
- From a distance he can ignore the thoughts he knows you’re thinking but up close, when they’re said in front of the crew, other pirates, hostages. He’s been known to cover your mouth with something so he doesn’t freeze up. When yall get together though, its game over.
- The first time you licked it, he almost saw some form of god. The angel's chorus was in his ears and he couldn’t help but say a little prayer in his head about you.
- Kissing it at least 3 times a day for good luck, rubbing up and down the bridge to soothe him to sleep, nipping at it when you feel playful. Not to mention he now has your voice in his head if he ever insults it going: “That’s not true! It is like one of the top 3 of the things I love about you and if you are mean to it again then I’m gonna cut it off and keep it all day!”
- Laying in his bed just watching him go about the day when you drop a “If my memory was wiped tomorrow I hope I’d get to keep at least the picture of your nose in my head.” before just turning over and going to rest. You hear him physically stop in his tracks and then a thud, he had let go of a boot.
- He doesn’t ever want to ask for praise about his nose on the days where he feels more insecure but you can tell by the way he rubs it on your collarbone and shoulder. You immediately pull out the good old “Have I told you how dashing attractive your nose is today? I seriously would just hop on and ri-” he doesn’t let you finish the sentence, cutting you off with a kiss knowing where it’s going.
- If anyone comments on his nose, you are the first to bite back. Threatening to cut out their tongue and string it up for future people to understand their place. Then squish Buggy while speaking highly of his stunning feature and how lucky they are to see it in the first place.
- You’re kinda crazy but hey, so is Buggy and he loves that you’re insane about him and his nose.
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