#this is all incoherent and im sorry

[halforcdad]

serenading was really the last thing i ever wanted Kate to do as her grand gesture and i still don’t love it, but the amount of people who keep calling a big, awkward, public gesture hugely ooc for Kate and keep saying they miss the old whistler who wasn't dumb, oh DIA Whistler was so much better. its the show’s first season. i don’t think it’s even possible to be ooc when the writers are just starting to create these characters and we barely know them. we only saw ‘cool, confident, bossy dia whistler’ for about 6 episodes before 1x11 happened and changed everything, and while she’s still all of those things she was changing even before the breakup happened and with all the growth she’s gone through, she’s going to end the season looking pretty different to how she started (fair warning, this is a little unhinged and unorganized, just a little)

her arc has been about her learning to let people in and learning to be more honest with her feelings, to not be afraid of putting herself out there and learning how to stop pushing people away as a result of the impact Lucy and the team have had on her. it’s about making yourself vulnerable and trying to find people who will accept you even if you’re an awkward giraffe. throughout the season the writers have been telling us that she: finds it hard to be open and show her emotions, she puts her orders before her feelings at work causing everyone to view her as the ‘bad cop’ and that sucks, she really wants to make connections with her coworkers, but she doesn’t know how and she’s kinda bad at it, she was afraid of starting something with Lucy (and messing it up) because Lucy’s the most amazing woman she’s ever met and she wanted to keep it on the downlow until she felt she could handle it, is actually very charming and sensitive and goofy underneath that hardened exterior

there’s a reason Ernie describes her as “the tall one acting goofy,” she tries to keep her relationship with Lucy a secret and yet you can see her softening as a result of it and being unable to hide their connection and pull to each other even at work. Jesse notices they’re making googly eyes at each other during the Pearl Harbor tour in 1x09 and remarks that “there’s a certain DIA officer i haven’t seen around your desk recently,” because she couldn’t fight the gravitational pull drawing her to Lucy’s desk everyday, literally the worst kept secret at the office you morons! In 1x12 she’s sprinting after Lucy practically shouting after her (loud enough for all of Pearl Harbor to hear) even when she’s asking if Lucy’s going to throw their relationship away that easily. Kate gets a pass with Jane because how can you pretend you don’t care about Lucy after she could’ve died on an UC mission and as for Kai, well, he has two eyes so he definitely noticed too

the Whistler in 1x01 would definitely not be going over to Tennant’s house after 1x14 and sharing a drink with her (might not have warned her about Glenn Smith either) and maybe she wouldn’t have tried comforting her when Jesse went missing in 1x15 (not because she wouldn’t have wanted to, but maybe it would have been harder without all the stuff that happened in between as a result of the Lucy romance) and that’s growth baby!

as for her acting ‘dumb’ and goofy, whistler’s greatest hits (paraphrased):

1x07: the entire opening scene right in front of Ernie's coffee, like ladies its barely 9 in the morning 

1x09: “i want to be intimate” “here???” 

1x11: "i like this" "the coffee? its fair trade." "so i think i win the dumbass award." "yes...no! NO!"

1x14: “creds... that’s what all the cool agents say :)”

1x17: “the source of the attack was some sort of pineapple” “like the fruit?” (also forgetting she never apologized to Lucy)

1x20: while looking like a beaten bloody piñata “I’m fine just some bruises...and some minor head trauma...” “i did not have Lucy surf quotes on my bingo card today” 

1x21: “about the power of love!” -silence- “...anyway i think that’ll help us get through to David” (we were all raving about this scene and how cute it was, but we don't want to acknowledge all the work it took to get here?)

The writers have been showing it all season, this is just who she is the more you get to know her, not liking it is different than ooc

Kate just sucks at talking and processing her emotions on the spot and can’t always immediately formulate a response right away whether you’re her boss or her colleague or her ex girlfriend (she ghosted a girl for months for god’s sakes which is probably honestly where most of the ‘this feels ooc for Kate’ criticism comes from and it’s hard to blame anyone for that because wth Kate, but it also serves as the biggest indictment of how her lack of social skills has effected her life and now it’s finally catching up to her)

a lot of people call Whistler rushing in without thought or backup to be ooc, and while they’ve shown that she’s smart and good at thinking things through (figuring out a way to help the team in 1x06, with the Clark Lohan thing in 1x10, using David's wife’s fate as leverage to get through to him in 1x21), that’s been behind the scenes we never saw her do field work during her stint at the DIA so there’s nothing really to base the ooc claim on, the first time we see her in the field is in 1x17 (she only transferred to the FBI 3 episodes ago) when she rushes in and Lucy has to stop her so it’s not out of the ordinary for her to do something similar in 1x20 at Agent Jones’s house, Whistler in the office and Whistler out in the field are different because they’re different environments entirely (and she’s new to the field)

i dont think the people calling Whistler ooc for acting goofy and socially inept would call her ooc for turning down a promotion anywhere from 1x06-1x13 to stay close to Lucy after early Whistler was billed as ambitious and career-driven (but i guess it’s different because it’s romantic without being awkward...), if we’re going to throw that term out there we should examine all her actions that way not just the one’s we maybe don’t like 

you can criticize the writing and the show all you want we all have different opinions we’re not all going to agree on how good Whistler’s development has gone, but i don’t think it’s fair to say any public grand gesture or Kate acting ‘dumb’ is completely out of left field, yes she was more cold and distant and mean earlier (and maybe you preferred that way more) but as the show has progressed you get to see a different more shy, uncertain, dorky side of her and that's not ooc that's just how humans are

she’s been slowly stepping out of her comfort zone all season and Lucy’s influence on her has inspired her to finally make a running jump into the deep end to win her back because she loves her and that’s how much she means to her (my favorite post about the grand gesture written before we knew it was a singing gesture LOL) that's the whole point isn't it? the power of love! has changed Whistler! she's never felt this way about anyone before and is clearly woefully inexperienced in love, she misses Lucy and wants to win her back no matter what so she's willing to listen to anything and do anything to show her she's all in and wants to be with her and only her! love makes us do crazy things, but it makes sense after a season of pain and regret

unfortunately for some people, Kate also happens to be less competent socially so that’s going to manifest in truly awkward (and secondhand embarrassing) ways, but she’s always been capable of this because she’s a multifaceted character and the writers have been showing us that

#ncis hawaii #kate whistler #kacy #all the criticism and thoughts ive seen on tumblr has been cool and fine but the twitter folks just make my head explode #its like every time kate shows a not Cool trait shes ooc? theres a reason everyone calls her the dumbest smart person (affectionate) #shes got one braincell for work! whenever she uses it for her personal life or for following ernies advice is laughs at her and explodes #imma be real this is kinda petty and ranty bc of one specific kate stan on twitter i keep seeing firhrgjrg #like i cant even enjoy their fics bc they start all of them with 'i wont do u dirty like the writers have' #like wym the writers have treated me fine i loved 1x20 i loved all the kacy angst lol #like yas and tori are great and theyre 50% of it but who wrote the lines they say that make me love lucy and kate more and more everyday #also i dont think its possible at all for a character to be ooc...in season 1 like the writers barely know them yet how can i claim i do #like ok you like the character but then you hate the writers for half the traits theyve given them so do you actually like them??? #this is all incoherent and im sorry #yes i still dislike the serenade but like i understand the point of the big gesture and why u would go there #get you a hot lesbian mess who can do both! #im delirious i probably shouldnt post this and ill regret it but i will anyway #like i saw someone ask what have they done to you whistler #oh idk given her a personality??? made her likeable and made the audience want to root for her? like yall LMAO

[posallys]

Also yelling bc in treasure island it says that flint drank himself to death in Savannah except the entire ending of black sails emphasizes stories and how you can never know what is true or what is untrue even if you were there to see it and so we as viewers only know what we are told--we never see silver kill flint, we never know if he retired, we dont know where he went, we learn about flint reuniting with thomas through a story silver tells, we learn that he drank himself to death because the words on a page tell us so and in the end you cant even find comfort in the ending treasure island gives flint because there is perhaps one man that knows the truth of it all except the truth has been warped and marred by time until it is completely unrecognizable even to himself and we're left with the ghosts of stories that are littered with truths but filled to the brim with lies and uncertainty and so maybe flint still haunts skeleton island or maybe flint haunts the sea or maybe flint haunts Savannah or maybe flint haunts silver or maybe the reality of it is that flint haunts everything because no matter which story you chose to believe and take as the truth they're all stories and in each and every one of them flint is a man that met his end by the hand of john silver

#IM ACTUALLY INCOHERENT RIGHT NOW SO SORRY #IM AWARE WERE ALL ON THIS PAGE ALREADY HOWEVER I WATCHED THE FINALE LAST NIGHT AND IM NOT DOING WELL #black sails

[underkunimi]

i think luffy and law are the couple that just don’t care(they’re pirates)(also hear me out). like obviously at first, law is like ‘hey maybe not in front of our crews’ but then at some point, he just stops caring. not only are they connected by the hip, you can literally find one of them hoisted onto something or pressed against a flat surface with their tongues in each other’s mouths. luffy is absolutely insatiable and law kinda loves it. don’t go to the crow’s nest after dinner, luffy is in law’s lap practically devouring him. on warm nights, you might find law pressed against the railing of the Sunny or pressed against a door. on most days, luffy makes law sit up on the helm with him and they give each other kisses while watching the open sea. law watching luffy absolutely devour his meal and has to give luffy the absolute filthiest kiss ever. they’re on an island, luffy is dragging law to the nearest secluded corner or alleyway and shoving his tongue down law’s throat

#lawlu #lulaw #trafalgar law #monkey d. luffy #these are late night thots #im sorry that i won’t shut up about them #im sorry that all i have to offer is incoherent rambling #it’s only 730pm lmao #look this ship hit me in the face like a bag of pennies #and i’m obsessed #all i think about is lawlu #okay okay i’ll (maybe) shut up about them #for like two days then i’ll get another idea

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

i don't know what order to start Dissecting, so i'll just start with:

it's absolutely fascinating how the dynamic Wally & Barnaby had - to my knowledge - before the update, and a dynamic i'd seen speculated elsewhere and generally accepted, has been completed turned on its head

see, given that Wally is the "main character" and Barnaby is classified as "his best friend", i got the feeling that Barnaby kind of... tags along on Wally's 'shenanigans'. that he's the sidekick, the best friend. especially since their dynamic has been previously & briefly described as "Barnaby is very polite to Wally." he's the Companion.

but the audios sorta paint a reverse picture. in the Interview, when Barnaby enters stage right, he completely bowls over Wally's introduction and dominates the interview. when the interviewer asks how the two of them are handling the fame, even outright asking Wally, Barnaby doesn't hesitate to answer the question himself, and only about himself. Wally doesn't get another word in edge-wise until the interviewer explicitly singles Wally out.

(now, an argument could be made that Barnaby knew that Wally was somewhat overwhelmed with all of the questions, and tried to take the reins to give him a reprieve. but, considering that the interview seems to be very early on the possible timeline - like, very soon after Welcome Home debuted - i don't think this is likely. i doubt Barnaby and Wally would've had the time to solidify their dynamic or really get to know each other that well yet)

and Barnaby continues to take point in pretty much all of their other conversations, too. like in the mystery Howdy/Barnaby/Wally audio, their interaction gives off the vibes that Wally is Barnaby's sidekick, his tag-along.

(on a related tangent, it's fascinating how the website described the episodes as "[beginning] with Wally introducing the focus or theme for the day before coming across other characters who would join him on his escapades until the end of the day." but from pretty much everything we've seen so far, it seems like He's the one who's just along for the ride, bouncing from neighbor shenanigan to neighbor shenanigan instead of having his own adventures.

of course, if the 14 audios are present time, which is honestly somewhat likely, this could be because the show isn't running. they aren't doing episodes - they're just existing, doing their things. no need for Wally to take point in any way shape or form. tangent over)

in the 14 audios with Barnaby, he doesn't even acknowledge Wally until the very end - which, of course, could be because that's how the scenes are set up. except that in some of them, the characters do directly acknowledge Wally's presence outside of the endings. Eddie in 5-14, Howdy and Poppy in 1-14, and Frank in 4-14 (technically, since he was infodumping to Wally at the very start before Barnaby interrupted). you'd think that a guy would try to include his best friend a little more!

maybe i'm reading into it too much. & given what we know about Wally as a character, it would make sense for Barnaby to be the go-getter Main Guy of the two. but it really seems like its Barnaby & Wally instead of Wally & Barnaby. he's just kinda... there. going along with whatever Barnaby is up to.

but also, on the other side of things - & it's occurring to me as i type this, it's interesting how in a lot of audios, Barnaby seems to seek Wally out. in "Just So", he shows up to fetch Wally. in 4-14, Barnaby interrupts Frank and Wally's gardening session, almost as if he's stopping by to check on his little buddy. in 7-14, Barnaby calls Julie's house (presumably) searching for Wally, or at least checking in once again. something to consider in all of this!

#and if the 14 audios are in the same day along a timeline - which they Are. im trying to puzzle it out rn but anyway - #its interesting how barnaby just kept. checkin. in. #they had three audios where they were already hanging out and then got two (technically three) more where barnaby checked in! #it feels like there's something there... #separation anxiety? a compulsion? love for his buddy? a secret fourth thing? #maybe he could tell something was Off with wally that day... #(which is a topic i will ramble about in a different post) #its a push & pull to be certain.... #but yeah that plus all the evidence of Barnaby kinda being the Lead and wally being brushed off to the side.... #what a complicated fuckin picture it paints!!! dont know what it means yet! #i have another post im working on centering on how the neighbors seem to treat each other - wally & eddie especially #but this post aint about that. itll be related though #homebogging #wh speculation #please let this have made sense! #when i make posts i just kinda throw myself at it bc i have No organizational skills! #my brain is a complete incoherent mess and i am so sorry if this post is messy <3

[scarycranegame]

thinking about. transfems. and trans girls. and how cool they are.. literally if you're a tgirl or girl-adjacent transgender person i want you to know that. you are so wonderful and beautiful and kind and talented.. we need you on this site now more than ever, and im so sorry about literally everything that's happened here. none of you deserve to be treated like this; you deserve so much better, and i'm sincerely hoping that other people (especially people with power to instate significant change that affects a lot of people) will understand this and work towards making this a safer platform for all of you. please don't let anything that's happening right now on this literal hellsite make you think that you're any less than amazing; i love all of you so so so much <333 please stay safe out there!!!

#not fandom #let's get serious #transgender #trans #trans positivity #trans rights are human rights #transfem #trans girl #trans women #trans pride #literally whenever i find something new that i love so so much and i look at who made it #its always a trans girl. always #how are you all so awesome at literally everything #also this includes nonbinary transfems!!! that should go without saying #everyone whos transgender and feminine in any way at all. i love you so so so much <333 forever and always #fuck photomatt this will always be the trans people website #on that note seeing so many people posting transition pics in light of this incident is. really inspiring to me #it gives me hope that someday i'll look the way i want to as well #just... i love trans girls. it cant be put into words how much hope you all give me just from existing and surviving #please keep doing it. please keep existing and surviving #its so so so important that you live #please remember that #sorry if this post is kind of incoherent my brain is. mush. because im thinking about how cool trans girls are #scary crane rambles

[aiteanngaelach]

ive been thinking about language a lot recently and doing a lot of studying of my irish grammar books and one thing that is always in the back of my mind no matter what is the grief over not being able to speak my own language, having to learn it in schools and at home, picking up a book in irish and feeling this unassailable choking frustration guilt and grief that i cant understand it at all. i can parse bits and pieces, stray words and phrases, but thats it. watching things on tg4 and not understanding a word and drowning in guilt over it. ive always felt this huge impenetrable wall in my mind separating me from from irish. and the prevailing attitude of most everyone i meet and talk to about irish is that yeah its sad that we got colonised and dont speak it anymore, but its dead and useless and redundant. the goverment puppets its corpse on roadsigns and documents and titles, paying lipservice to this unimaginable violence done to us as people that we cant speak our own language, but does nothing substantial that would actually help. is fearr gaeilge bhriste ná béarla cliste yeah but is there not a need for gaeilge cliste as well? this surrender to inability across the nation is such a disservice to the language and the people who speak it. im not talking about people not having perfect irish and still speaking it, of course not like i barely have any irish myself, im talking about the disrespect given to irish that it doesnt need to learnt and loved, only bastardized. my family have spoken english for a hundred years, irish for thousands of years before that, and even in that english, vestiges of irish have lingered in hiberno english form. irish hovers just out of reach for me, i surround myself with it through music poetry tv books, but i never am fully apart of it. and the thing is, something that im only just realising in recent years, is that (white) english people dont feel this! theyre not assaulted from a very young age by the knowledge this grief and inadequacy and the injustice done to their people. they dont even learn in schools about what they did to us! to every peoples across the world they colonized brutalised and exploited, every culture they massacred and did their very best to erase! they have the luxury of not caring! and thats incomprehensible to me, that people can live in this world free of the inherited grief of history, that they dont have to carry the weight of their families history on their shoulders, dont have to live with the fact that something intrinsic to them has been stolen! i have always felt like something was missing, and i cant even imagine living with a sense of wholeness, but for these colonisers that is their life! they dont have to face consequences for what theyve done to the world, they dont even have to remember! i wish i could speak irish, i wish i didnt have to know the ugly harsh syllables of this language. tá brón an domhain orm

#gaeilge #ireland #irish #colonisation #sorry this is really long and disorganised and incoherent #long post #im just so angry and frustrated and guilty all the time and it sucks!

[kurain-genealogy]

i said i was gonna post about it and i am. i don't think william afton hates his kids. i don't think william afton is a mad scientist that kidnapped and put children in hallucinogenic gas chambers. whatever the fuck dittophobia said about afton doing all that, plus not stopping/furthering the bullying between michael and cc, is just dumb & wrong. william wanting his kids to fight, even die, is comically evil in the "bad writing" way. him being characterized as someone who experiments on children (including his own with no regard for their lives) in order to achieve immortality or whatever his supposed motivation is, is just really... nothing? as a character there is nothing to make him feel real. in an attempt to flesh out this character, they made him into a cartoon villain with "evil" being his only defining trait. whatever, i could talk for so long about how dumb i think all the dittophobia stuff is but i think most ppl on tumblr are on the same page regarding that.

to me, william afton is best characterized as someone who, at the Very Least, Doesn't Want His Own Children To Die. he can be a shitty father all around, or he can be a genuine loving father who is also a serial killer, as long as he Cares if they Die? most of what makes william afton an interesting villain, and where a lot of people interpret his motivation comes from, is how despite all his best efforts, he cannot prevent the death or downfall of his own family. he is in a tragedy of his own making, a self-imposed hell crafted by his hubris and violence. if you take this away, why should i care what happens to him? william afton was scariest when he was just purple guy and we knew nothing. william afton is most interesting when we have all these relationships and dynamics where we can seriously study and speculate the circumstances behind/around his actions, when he has something to lose (and will lose). william afton is most stale when more things are added to his story without purpose, filling in gaps that were better unfilled or we didn't even know were there – anything after UCN, basically. bro isn't scary anymore because he's either peepaw afton who's brought back despite his story being over, or he's cartoon network's newest over-the-top villian that you can't take seriously.

okay anyway. ANYWAY. william doesn't hate his kids. even if he's a shitty father, i think he still loves his kids. why else would he try and scare his kids away from the robots if he didn't want them to die? why would he design circus baby after his daughter if he didn't care for her, adore her, even? if you believe the theory that he talked to cc through the fredbear plush (idr if that's actually canon), why would he be trying to protect/comfort him?

i don't think he's a perfect, or even a good father, by any means. if you interpret him to be on the better side, that's great and fine. i'd love to hear how other people interpret/characterize afton if you wanna share! continuing on for this post, i'm going to lay out how i personally see william afton.

to me, he is someone who is very concerned and preoccupied with his image and how others view him & his family. even if he's super shitty and awful towards his kids, he at least cares that they all look good as a family unit, that they're well behaved, that he can send family portrait holiday cards to all his business partners and investors.

he strikes me very much as the typical authoritarian parent of the 80s. harsher on his sons because "men don't cry," wants his kids to say "yes, sir," and "no, sir," believes in "tough love," often says "my house, my rules," he has the final say in everything, maybe thinks hitting them from time to time is a normal, necessary punishment. not all entirely malicious, but thinks he's doing what's best, what's right, acting like a parent and father Should act, perhaps how he himself was raised. unfortunately, a very common parental mindset (even outside of serial killers). maybe he was a little scarier sometimes though, a little more unhinged or violently angry. who's to say.

but he's still just a guy who could exist in real life. he still eats dinner with his family every night, hangs his kids' drawings on the fridge, had to turn the car around because they wouldn't stop fighting in the backseat, attended awkward parent-teacher conferences, everything. he was once a new father who happily came home with his first newborn, lost countless nights of sleep over the course of two more, loves them because they're his.

meticulously and senselessly killed children, then came home and tucked his own into bed and kissed them goodnight.

he can be abusive and still love his kids. he can be a murderer and still care for his own kids' lives. maybe the loss of his own kids is what triggered his actions, or maybe it was something else. i'm fine with not knowing because we don't need to know everything, and it's more interesting when we don't.

Something Is Seriously Wrong With This Guy And We Don't Know What or Why. when acquaintances find out he's a suspected murderer, it should be shocking and upsetting. he's such a great man and father, he wouldn't murder those kids! when michael discovers his father's crimes, he should be in denial. sure, he could be scary sometimes, but he wouldn't kill anyone... right? there's a great cognitive dissonance between who he appears to be and who he actually is.

whether william descended into grief-induced madness and obsession, or was just always some kind of freak, or both, i don't think he saw his own family as disposable. even if he didn't truly love them, he at least needed to keep up his own facade as a friendly family man. personally i like to see him as someone who was a shitty father but still loved his kids, because people like that exist, and it makes him a much more interesting, realistic, and nuanced character than if he just didn't care about them At All.

#fnaf #five nights at freddy's #william afton #purple guy #dontlistento me #sorry if this is so incoherent or all over the place or rambly. im insane. #fuck it im posting

[enden-k]

theres no reason for them to stay this close together, my ruan slay isnt all up ratios side either im. i. i babbled too much about aventio, my game is adapting to me

#sorry for not shutting up today im off work for once so you have me and my incoherent babbles all day <3 #hsr tag #own #tbd

[bassguitarinablackt-shirt]

okay so when i was very new to the pjo fandom i had alot of thoughts about being queer and being a half blood, so heres an old rant of mine edited a bit (alot) to be semi coherent and postable!

Being a half blood is by definition queer, not normal. Half bloods are unable to fit in with mortals, they're too different, too strange. Yet, they're able to find community at camp half blood, a place with others like them, others just as weird and different. I think this is something that resonates with alot of queer people, it's at the very least something alot of us have dreamed of or experienced something similar to.

Another thing that I think is worth mentioning is how we see, especially with Annabeth talking about her family–mortals sometimes almost demonizing half bloods, treating them as dangerous. Once again, in a way this speaks to alot of queer people. Being treated as dangerous for something you can not control, something that's just simply a part of who you are, the way you were born.

I think it might be worth mentioning how it's nearly impossible for a god to be cishet? Especially alot of the greek gods were as queer as can be. Humanity feels the need to fit themselves into boxes gods have no need for, half bloods i think fit right in the middle of that which i think might be a little reminiscent of how queer people are shoved into boxes that shouldn't exist by others around them.

I have no idea how to segue properly SO, MY FINAL POINT: The concept of being a half blood is something that i think speaks to alot of people, as a half blood you don't fit in, as a queer person you don't fit in; yet as either there are other's like you, a community that will welcome you with open arms.

tagging some people who might be interested: @agentwaffle @a-wondering-thought (i know you two want to see this) @genderfluidsgetguns @ssavinggrace (i just want you two to see this)

#asher says stuff #im so fucking scared to post this but like here goes nothing #my thoughts are incoherent and hard to put into words alot of the time so im lucky if this makes any sense whatsoever #also sorry if this feels like. dhdjhshsh idk the word fuck #i feel like i just used all the same points over and over again #okay im just gonna post this and go die in a hole <3

[mirusx]

does anyone grasp the depth of grief, persistence, and hope all at the same time from these supposedly just system notifications? please bear with me and my incoherence bcs i might actually be losing my mind????? i apologize in advance

[Story, --, has begun its storytelling once more.]

[Story, --, is continuing on with its storytelling.]

and then kindly replace those '--' with a story like "Life and Death Companions" or other stories affiliated with kdj and kimcom.

Orv has repeatedly emphasized how people are stories and how we are all just stories trying to understand each other. Seeing these 'stories' that were made from kdj and other's connection trying to continue on and starting once more evoke emotions deep inside me. Because Kdj and every member of kimcom live on through these 'stories', they embody the stories that they obtain. They're the ones who want to continue on and to begin once more. Because 'once more' implies that it has already come to an end at one time, and 'continuing on' means persevering despite of.

like resisting permanent death.

It's like no matter what catastrophe befall the world or the universe and how long these stories and connections may stay dormant, they will always awaken once someone remembers them. Once someone speaks of them. It's like how people have this irrational fear of being forgotten, and so being remembered, being told, and being shared just like a story somehow realize our existences. And we all know that these system notifications appear when the people involved in the story are wielding their shared story/experience to get through something(scenarios) or to someone(between themselves) and hope that the stories they've created are good enough to be acknowledged. Whenever the system narrates a story— one, both, or all of the parties included in the story want to be seen, recognized, and understood as we all crave to be good enough to continue being somebody in at least someone's story— in someone's life. It's like our souls despairing and rejoicing at the same time, "i'm here! i'm still here. i'm still continuing on. our story's still existing.", pleading to be read.

and so once someone recognizes our story, connected with us, and understood us— our story continues on despite of, and it begins once more even when it might have ceased at one point. It tells this new story of not being forgotten

and how our existences— our already written stories, always endure. just like theirs.

....the grief, the persistence, and the hope of it all.

[Story, Life and Death Companions, has begun its storytelling once more.]

[Story, Life and Death Companions, is continuing on with its storytelling.]

fuck did this even make sense im so sorry. i just really needed to get this off my head, it's rotting my brain

#nothing is more stubborn than the stories that love dokja‚ they will always prevail and conquer anything #so u better be back with them dokja cause i really cant anymore #why am i writing this at 6am with no sleep #is this even coherent im sleepy #this is all because of all the post epilogue fanworks that ive seen and read and how almost all of them incorporated those- #system notifications whenever kdj the company reunites or have a very meaningful moment #and it just shattered my brain #is yhis cringe imnsleeoy im sorry #now im sleepless and incoherent zfuck #please someone say that u at least undestood what im tryna say 😭 #im not good with expressing i suck ass at it #orv #omniscient readers viewpoint #omniscient reader #omniscient reader's viewpoint #kim dokja #kim dokja's company #kimcom #han sooyoung #yoo joonghyuk #life and death companions #joongdok #kdj #yjh

[ace-apple]

okay so none of us actually think that the losing team is like DEAD dead like permadead right. like we all agree its just for the event right. and we're not gonna panic right.

#mcyt #qsmp #THIS IS JUST. IN CASE I SEE SHIT ABT 'OMG THEYRE ALL DEAD FOREVER' #i havent seen that YET but like. im sorry thats certainly. a conclusion to come to. #sorry im still salty about ppl in this fandom forgetting that. catharsis is a thing. and instead making it about just angst angst #and more angst <3 #im a little bit incoherent rn so forgive me if i make no sense lmao

[ohbo-ohno]

please talk more about ghost clicker training soap (and other ways he treats johnny like a pet.) also I love it when in fics simon carves his name into soaps body.

oh man i said this in the original ask about this but i never ever write clicker training because i love it too much. like every time i start thinking about it i start shaking like a rabid animal. i don't know how to properly put into words something i enjoy so much, every time i try it just ends up coming out in a string of like "oh my god. i cant even. can you imagine if-? oh my god" and no one wants to read that lol

in the replies of that post 391780 brought up ghost training soap like a sheep dog and like. oh god. can you imagine? instead of ghost saying "head right" he says "come by" in that Command voice? oh dude. dude. he totally would, and johnny listens perfectly like the obedient hound he is <3

canyoubethestalkertomytango said ghost clicker trains soap for sex and ohhhhh im fucking GONE. three clicks and soap is humping his leg. oh my fucking. i cant. i cant do this. a long whistle and soap is on his knees, ready to suck ghost's cock, no matter where they are

#not tagging the people i mentioned because tagging people is a Little Scary sorry guys #they're linked! click the links! #i dont write clicker training stuff for the same reason i dont write lesbian stuff (despite being a lesbian) - im literally too into it #i get all incoherent about it #asks and answers #ghoap

[mira0000000-blog]

Concepts for a Surgamy fankid named Nerine, created in a fit of Surgamy thoughts at 6am and I cant draw him again..So i think im gonna abandon him for a while haha.. sth

#i dont know how to character design at all im so sorry for his colors lmaoo #i dont like how his clothes turned out.. gonna try doing somethin else for his wardrope when i feel like it eee now im angy at him #he never met surge or amy as a kid! he doesnt even know he is technically their son! its complicated! #he never really doubted or thought too much about where did he come from either #also hes very forgetful! he only forgets more stuff over time and nobody can tell why.. #he was born and found around a time where sonic wasnt heroin anymore so he takes the role! as weird as that sounds! #his lore is very incoherent cos he was born yesterday lol just a silly incoherent guy.. #surgamy fankid #surgamy #surgeamy #Nerine the Hedgehog #sth #wee my art i gues

[eyesoftxmorrow]

i'm not rly the type for mcyt stuff, but i think i finally managed to articulate why qsmp in particular just feels so incredibly special to me.

it's the way that the language proficiency of literally everyone involved is slowly evolving the longer they play together. the way that the english speaking players are making an effort to talk to one another in spanish and vice versa. when this thing started i remember hearing from multiple eng povs that they had to lean a lot on the google translate tab (and thats ok!), but something that really excites me is when i see those same eng ccs express how much they want to learn more about speaking spanish bc it's a way that thet can genuinely connect with their fellow players.

it's not even the fact that it's a minecraft smp; that just Happens to be the medium through which we get to watch this unfold. it's the first time, at least to my knowledge, that we're able to watch both the spanish and english-speaking communities bond over a game they love at a level as involved as this. both sides of the community are equally prominent, and more importantly, they're united in a way that i've never really observed in an online space until now. genuinely ive never seen anything like this before and its just really fascinating to see how all the players take on the challenge of building that bridge over something that once was a communication barrier for them. i love language i love cooperative gaming i love humans having fun learning new things from one another

#qsmp #sorry if this is incoherent its 2 am and im having feelings ab this series #as someone who spent their entire college career studying spanish and psychology and communications this smp is like the perfect storm #finally. a social experiment made specifically for me /J #the lore and the eggs and all that are just as entertaining ofc #but i think that the linguistic implications is what really got me invested. ygwim? #huge HUGE props to quackity for putting this smp together man. he really has created something so incredibly special #skip speaks

[lighthouseas]

i just. sometimes i think about how mike must have felt. and Still feels. he's seen how will got bullied for his alleged sexuality . he's SEEN that homophobia in real time, and imagining how he must have felt - as an invisible queer, as someone less obvious but still struggling with those feelings (especially after will and el left) god. the paranoia. the fear. the isolation, thinking he's the only queer he knows, thinking there's no way out, that he's just going to have to stay like this - invisible, paranoid, a fucking teenager in seemingly unrequited love, or face what will did for so many years. thinking about the nights he probably spent toiling over this. the nights he stayed up, trying to push it away, to make the feelings go away, because he can't live like this. he can't, he can't. him living with the fear that someone is going to find out eventually and everything will be out in the open. him living with the constant paranoia that that spare glance at the random boy in his science class was enough. it was enough to know. was it enough to know? was hugging will enough to know? was he enough? would he ever be enough?

would he ever be enough? could someone ever love....someone like him?

i think about this a lot.

#sorry this was so incoherent im sad #mike...mike....MIKE #i go through phases where all i can think about is Him #and then i get sad #stranger things #mike wheeler #will byers #byler #st.txt

[theek-ache]

I read somewhere (Twitter i think) that it was great that Sanji's dream is to find the All Blue, not to be the greatest cook ever, etc. And I have to agree.

First of all, I think that if he had been written as wanting to become the best cook, it would have quickly become gimmicky: I mean, even a great writer like Oda cannot do how many variations on quite a narrow theme (the anime has great filler arcs about it though as far as I can remember).

But it also further highlights Sanji's kindness and care. There is something casual to his approach to food: yes of course it is delicious (mentioned so many times) and it aims at serving Luffy in him becoming the pirate king. But he's not a snob about food?? Of course he will look for good quality ingredients and interesting new recipes, but as long as it feeds someone it's all that matters too. He knows that food is a basic need and he will make do with what he can find as well.

His dream of finding the All Blue is a way for him to try all the fish in all the seas, but it also drives him to go on this great adventure with Luffy, a more personal decision for someone who always feels like he gets validation from doing things for others.

And I just love that about him, and the way Oda managed to develop his character. Post-WCI Sanji is often interpreted by fans as purely selfless and kind and caring etc (which I love and is truly a part of himself), but I feel like we can bring a bit more nuance by taking into account his personal dream. In the end, he is a full-fledged character, one of the best written in the series because of that imo.

#im writing this at like 4 am on a weekday sorry if it's incoherent #but i thought of it just before falling asleep and i needed to get it out #lmk your thoughts #sanji stans rise #one piece #sanji #black leg sanji #one piece meta #op spoilers #spoilers: whole cake island onwards #all blue #all blue smile