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chaerssss · 7 months

Text

REDAMANCY

Word count:- 4.2k (approx.)

Pairings:- childhoodbestfriend!hwa x y/n

Type:- Mini series (part 1)

Genre:- Fluff, angst, romance, comedy, a hint of fake relationship. (look forward to the smut in other parts besties!)

Song reccs:- Love, Maybe (secret number), stay with me (miki matsubara), Day and night (Jung seung hwan), Some (bol4)

Seonghwa's theme:- Ditto (instrumental)

Y/n's theme:- Gone (instrumental)

FYI:- the title means, 'A love returned in full'

"I'm so bored."

"Should we go eat at a café?"

"No."

"Karaoke?"

"No."

"Arcade?"

"No."

"Comic store?"

"No."

"Wanna go jump off a building with me?"

"Yes please."

The latter chuckled at your response and shook his head. His hands shuffled through his pockets and he took out an item familiar to you. "Here, you left your scrunchie at my house. My mum found it." Your eyes go wide to finally see the scrunchie you had almost died finding yesterday, "and i thought I had lost it."

Your hands hold the scrunchie and you wear it on your wrist, as you always did. "Seonghwa's always at your service ma'am!" Seonghwa said, imitating a butler and you laughed it off. The bell rang and it was finally time to leave the school. "Ok but seriously I'm in need of food!"

"But i recommended a café before, didn't i?" Seonghwa recalled how you had rejected the proposal, "but I wanna eat rice cakes made by you!"

Your hands clutched his arm, and Seonghwa's eyes fall to your face. You looked so tiny from his perspective, but he knew if he said it, he'd get beaten up. Then came your eyes. So pretty. And so...magical. As though they casted a spell and he fell, his heart couldn't take the visual right now. So he turned his face to the other side, hoping you won't see his red face, "alright!" He mumbled.

Coming back from school was probably the best part of your day back then. Going to beaches, cafés, random karaokes. Even in the middle of the night, you were glued to the computer screen, talking to Seonghwa, while doing your homework together.

The next morning, meeting at the same river with your cycles to reach the school at the same time. It was like you were living the best days of your life. And...you took them for granted. Maybe that's why it was taken away.

Everything was planned for the future too. Your savings for your future to buy an apartment together, then getting a job for college to pay the fees. Oh and how could you forget the seperate section of money both of you collected for an exo concert.

Everyone assumed that you both were in love.

You weren't. But he was.

And so you still dread that day. Graduation. Because, all your plans had scattered before your eyes. You maintained a safe distance from him. All while, faking a smile as your principal allowed the students to throw their hats in the sky. The crowd was so loud, strange and..dark.

It felt, as though, everyone around you were in slow motion. That's when your eyes met his. Instead of those bright, round eyes, you saw sorrow in them... Regret, pain.

He glanced at you once, as if capturing this moment with his eyes. His hands untied something on his hand and he turned his back at you. You could see him wipe his tears despite his attempts to be subtle. And seconds later he disappeared. And it all went blank.

"../n?"

"...ke up!"

"y/n?"

"Y/n!!"

Your eyes open with a gasp. You lay there for a while, trying to make sens of your surroundings, until a head pops out. "You're sleeping during work hours?" Uh-oh your boss had seen you.

"Jeez, joong you gave me a scare." And you turn your head in the other direction and cover it with your arms while on the desk.

This guy. With blue hair. Was your best friend. You both met in the first year of college, both a little lost, both a little crazy. You guys had sewed together many dreams. Unsure if the future was anything like you had planned for yourself. However, fortunately.

Both of you got admitted to a fashion company in your second year. Which is pretty big for you guys because you were still inexperienced. With ups and downs you learned, and eventually you officially became permanent members of the company.

Hongjoong was dear to the previous CEO, so she promoted his position. Many other employees were so jealous and some even left the company because of the mistreatment but to you, Hongjoong deserved it. Despite being young, he had worked hard. And now the company is doing even better than it was a few years back.

"I scared you? You were practically wincing in your sleep." Your expressions dropped at his comment. "'Don't leave, don't go...' who were you dreaming of?" He leaned, raising one of his eyebrows. "No one."

He laughed aloud, which you knew very well was his sarcastic laugh, "you've got some guts to lie straight to your teeth and to 'me'!" He pointed at his chest, knowing damn well, who you were dreaming of. "I'm going to get a coffee, it's already time to go home. Take a good rest."

The walk back home wasn't long, mere 20 minutes. You decided to walk or cycle, rather than use a vehicle. One could say you were health conscious. And yet, it felt like an hour. Your eyes wander around, gazing at the dipping sun and the ducks in the lakes were swimming back.

The old couple, as usual was at the bench, never failed to make you smile. A brisk breeze makes your hair dance. Your path is decorated with brown leaves that fell from the now leaf less trees. A few get crushed under your shoes making a crunch sound, giving you a sense of satisfaction.

It was the same actually. Your hometown. Nothing had changed. And yet, something felt missing.

You bought an apartment as planned, it's well decorated, your salary is decent too, good Neighbors, a boss that's a friend as well, you have family and friend reunions from time to time. Everything was fine.

Then why?

Why did you still cry in the shower everyday?

Why did you still looked at that one picture frame for a little too long?

Why did your heart ache while watching those rom coms you once loved to watch?

Why did he still appear in your dreams?

Why, why won't your brain let you forget him?

A ring reaches your ears and pulls you from your thoughts. You put back the same photo frame, of him and you on the first day of school. He had a bowl cut and you had two silly pigtails. His cheeks were wet, he was crying, like his mother used to say...a crybaby. And you stood near him cracking the cutest pose when the kid next to you was having an existential crisis.

"Hello? Mom?"

"Oh hello honey, how are you?"

"I'm doing fine..what about you?"

"Oh me too, uh...sorry to call you at this hour but Surprise, surprise Mr and Mrs Park are here!" She exclaimed.

"...uhm, mom be specific."

"Seonghwa's mom! Well his parents are here and they wanted to meet you. After all it's been so many years. You should come by."

"...what?"

Your heart sank. You could feel it. All the other sense had been turned off. You couldn't hear a thing or what your mom said and then cut the call off, the only sound you could hear was a precise ring. It had gotten a little hard to breathe. You put the phone down and held your head with your palms.

You can't comprehend what just happened. Neither do you know why's this happening but your anxiety level had risen to a whole new level. You keep walking around your living room in your comfortable extra large hoodie, in stress.

Was it really required for you to be there? And first of all, out of all the times, they decided to greet us now? What if you just ran away? Hongjoong could help!

And for a moment you came back to your senses, your thoughts had halted and you gently sat on the edge of your sofa's arm. Your lips let out a scoff, "he still has an effect on me..." That's the funny thing. Because all those years, there was not a single spark between you and him. Well, it might've been different for him. But, at the the same time you could never imagine a day without him.

Why are you like this? What has he done to you? You stare off at the empty wall, with the spirals of your words you doodle across it with your eyes. Just like that the time flew by and you hear your house bell ring. It pulled you out of your thoughts and you open the door without thinking much into anything.

Or without predicting that the person at this hour could be none other than...Park Seonghwa. "How is my favourite person doing?"

7 years.

7 fucking years.

And these are the first words he says to you. The last thing he said to you was something you still remember. Now look at him, calling you out so nonchalantly. Yeah...look at him.

He had changed. His style had changed. Or perhaps, seeing him after so many years was so...shocking. Back then, he couldn't style clothes for himself, or tie his tie. You remember, you were the one who taught him to tie his laces in around 2nd grade.

Look at him now. He looks lovely. As if he just came out of a magazine cover. Not a blemish on his skin, brighter than the sun. His jawline had gotten so sharp, and his shoulders. Even though he wore a coat due to the chilly weather, you could see they had gotten broader. His hair a little longer, his eyes...still intense as ever.

You probably look like an idiot, standing there with your jaw open and eyes wide, staring at your childhood bestfriend. So invested in his beauty, you had forgotten to speak. So the man just made his way inside the apartment.

"Woah, so you did buy an apartment for yourself. I must say it's well decorated!" He wandered around the house, admiring each and everything while you slowly started coming back to reality.

"What....what are you doing here?" You finally spoke as you closed the door behind you. The room temperature had fell down a little due to the cool air entering through the door you had opened for a little too long. "me?" He pointed to his chest, while looking at you with his boba eyes. As if there were more than two people in the room.

"...of course you!" You said with eyebrows furrowed because what kind of a question was that? He slowly makes his way to the sofa and settles there as though it was his house? He took out an apple from the fruit basket kept on the table, "I'm a friend y/n, of course I came here to see you. It's been 7 years after all!" He took a bite and it felt like the crunch had echoed through the dead silent house.

"...just like that?" Your eyes narrowed and had visible pain in it. And his were an opposite of yours. "Oh! You should get ready, my parent's are at your house, waiting for us to arrive." His voice muffled because of the fruit. And you just followed. You don't know if he had noticed your slightly teary eyes....you didn't care.

You were still perplexed and had to sit in the same car as him. This is the best time to regret your decision of not buying a car. Plus, the whole faking the smiles among his parents and yours. But it had been such a long time, seeing aunt and uncle. All the memories came flowing like water. Her delicious mochi dessert, or how she scolded hwa when he teased you. Uncle's first car, in which he took you to all the parks known to mankind, or his annual gifts for you.

So you just hugged them and sobbed like a child. Which didn't go unnoticed by Seonghwa. It reminded him how close you guys actually were. Even your families. All those little picnics and trips. And seeing you cry like that made his heart swell...how because of him a beautiful relationship like so was about to be destroyed.

Even though you said that you could return back on your own. Both of your families insisted that you should go with Seonghwa. And that man didn't back down as well. See if it would've been any other person, you would've agreed but to think it was Seonghwa. You had to again bear the awkwardness in the car.

The entire time you were looking out the window. Trying to distract your mind, which.... didn't work as always.

"Why did you come back?" You asked, still looking outside the window. Afraid to meet his gaze. The roads were empty as it was around midnight, it was a smooth drive. Thanks to that, the awkwardness was easy to manage.

"...I was trying to avoid the question." He chuckled which made you look at him. "Well not you can't..." "i know.."

He continued, " i know, I know it's weird that I came back..and at this point of life where, you probably moved on from the past. But I'm here to tell you that..."

The car came to a pause and because of the impact you slightly moved forward, and the words that's came out of Seonghwa's mouth were enough to rethink your entire life, "reconcile our friendship."

"....why?"

He seemed taken aback by your response, "well...it seems like you certainly don't want to." Jeez, his teasing habit still hasn't changed. "No...it's not like that,..." You paused and you fixated your eyes on dashboard, instead of his eyes, "why..did you have to leave in the first place..if you were gonna come back?"

Seonghwa gave out a deep sigh, "y/n-ah..." His honey like voice, said your name. He let his head rest on the seat and a lazy smirk appeared on his face...he must've been tired. Your heart...it's beating abnormally fast. "We were kids back then...and I was the one at fault. So... consider this as an apology, for what happened during graduation."

So carefree.

Why?

If the feelings he felt were true...so true that he decided to leave. How can he be saying these things to you?...were you...the one who hadn't moved on?

"I love you..."

His words. You still remember them. His expressions... his eyes. Everything.

"So what do you say y/n?"

Maybe you were in the wrong back then...or maybe you and no idea how to respond.

"I have..since we were kids."

It was flowing back to you as he sat right in front of you, recklessly asking you to turn back to the friendship he had broken. And made you like this.

"Hm?"

So,...your emotions weren't valid now, right? Neither were your feelings...So why should you care?

"Be mine for an eternity."

Your throat had started to feel tight. You took in a gulp to eliminate the lump, "I'm willing to be friends again..."

"Woah you look terrible.." Hongjoong says as he comes by your cubicle. Of course, you do. You couldn't sleep a wink last night. "Do you wanna know the reason?" You ask him while lazily typing on the computer. "Hm, as far as I know it could not be a human, so I'm guessing, a sad movie or series?" Terrible. What a reputation you had built.

"I'm afraid this time it's the opposite." You've never seen Hongjoong throw his bun on the ground with his eyes so wide they could pop out anytime, "what...the..f-" you cover his mouth just in time. "rest in peace, Mr bun, it was not your fault."

For the next few minutes, you explain Hongjoong your entire story. The way your life quite literally changed in a night. "... that's actually crazy...and reckless. I mean I would personally call it shameless but I know that you called dibs on him so..." You crane your neck towards him, "I did not. I never told you that!"

"Well it's obvious isn't it?" He plops from the desk and stands straight in front of you, "it is weird he came back out of the blue. If I'm being honest...you should clear out the things with him." His hands come to caress your head, "i care about you...I mean I'm enough for that jerk but I don't want you to get hurt in any way. Sort it out, what you feel and what he feels."

Your bestfriend's words kept circling around your brain. Even as you walk back to your house. However, you see a familiar car in the middle of the road, a man leaning on it's door, carefully looking at his watch. His long hair,...look so fluffy, his eyes are hidden by the sunglasses but as soon as he spots you, those cheerful eyes are revealed. His hand waving to you and you walk straight to him.

"What're you doing here?"

"Here to pick you up!" He says in an exciting tone, which you find annoying because can he tone his excitement down. And yet at the same time you can't take up the fact, how adorable he is. But then, Hongjoong's words echo in your brain again. And for some reason, right now, feels like the best time to ask him the question.

"Um...I wanted to ask you something." You say, hesistent at first. "Go on..." Your hands clutch the fabric of your tote bag, "If I'm being honest, you coming back...didn't sit right for me. And..I know that you understand that it wouldn't feel good for me...might as well take some time to adjust."

Seonghwa seems to understand each and every word and he knows where this is headed. Yet, you can't catch an expression of vulnerability. Or pain.

But why were you hoping for it? Why did you want him to feel bad about a thing that happened 7 years ago? "But...I hope...your feelings for me have died down." Oh my god, you said it! Could there be a better way of saying it? Were you too harsh? A ton of questions already bombarded you.

Seonghwa starts with a light chuckle, and a bright smile gets morphed onto him, "I know...i completely get you. I think i forgot to mention but...i have a girlfriend."

....

Oh.

".. that's nice. I'm.. I'm happy for you." Maybe you were. Tch. Who were you lying to? You weren't. Your heart sank and you couldn't hear a word he said afterwards. A girlfriend huh? So you really were the only one who was still stuck in the past. You wanted to cry. You wanted to weep. And ask him why?

Couldn't he have waited just a little longer? Couldn't he have given you another chance?

Why would he?

The smell of the wet grass reaches you from the park, the gardener must be working. A few moments ago, you couldn't hear a thing and it feels as if all your five sense have been activated. And you feel a little too hot. Your palms were sweaty and your head felt all woozy.

"So, shall we go to a café hm?" His soft voice reached your ears. You just had a lot of emotions bottled up. "Seonghwa... let's go to a bar."

You wake with a sudden feeling. It is becoming a habit of yours to wake up as if you just experienced a bad dream, like the way main leads in a movie wake up. For a few seconds, you lay there... contemplating your life. Your eyes wandering around the house.

The familiar fan you always open your eyes to, the blinds still closed but the sun light pouring in from the spaces, your tv on the front that you bought with so much excitement. The same cream and white walls. Yeah, you were home.

The bed started to feel like a fluffy cloud and you just wanted to sleep again, but...your head was pounding so bad. It was almost like you felt your heartbeat in your brain. And your throat felt so dry. You slowly got up, your hands gave support to your head and you turn to the side table to have some water.

While sipping the water you notice something unfamiliar kept there, a small glass bottle. The label on it read 'hangover cure'. Hm.

Wait.

So, you drank last night. Crazy how you had forgotten everything. It was there but a blur...maybe it'll come back. Because you definitely don't remember buying a hangover drink. But oh well, you took it because your head felt like it could kill you any moment. As you're about to take a sip, your hands feel a texture different from the glass. It was paper. Your turn the bottle around to see a pink sticky note with hello kitty's doodles on it. It read 'drink this, it'll lighten the headache!! - SH'

Ah. It was Seonghwa.

You carried on with your day. Slow. Thank God it was a Saturday because what would you have done if you had to go to work today? While doing that your mind tries to recollect what happened.

"I know...i completely get you. I think i forgot to mention but...i have a girlfriend."

Couldn't he have given you another chance?

Why would he?

"Seonghwa, let's go to a bar."

"I'm familiar with this place, a few of my friends and colleagues brought me here countless times." As if on cue the bartender called out for you and you waved back at him. Seonghwa was surprised at the interaction.

Especially, the bartender's reactions. He acted all shy and soft. Well...now that he's observing him, he's not that bad looking. Tsk. That is what's bothering him right now. However, his eyes fell back at you and he admired your features.

It was all coming back to him now. All from when his mum made him talk to the girl he used to look at secretly from behind the tree in the playground. And there you were. Your hair tied in two low pigtails, with ribbons on them and tiny clips holding your baby hair.

To when you both were in highschool, eating lunch together on the bench that was near a lake, having deep late night talks on the rooftop, movie sessions at his house specifically because it felt just right according to you. Him teaching you how to cook and you ended up burning whatever you made because that could not be called food. Or how....you used to say things so nonchalantly to him. Not knowing the effect they had on him.

"I'd do anything as long as it's with you."

"The moon sent you to me."

And now you're sitting in front of him, grown beautifully into an adult, drinking like a mad woman. He chortles at the thought. His admiration for you is interrupted because of a phone call. "Y/n..i have to take this. Stay here alright?" He made sure to tell you this very carefully because you were already so drunk. "Don't leave ok? I'll be back in a few seconds.." he left only after he had heard you say ok...or more like inaudible mumbles.

But of course you weren't gonna stay on your place. He comes back to an empty chair. In attempts of finding you everywhere, he has to now push through the crowds. The club is so noisy. (It's supposed to be noisy park Seonghwa smh). His anxiety levels are rising right now, you're an adult you can take care of yourself but being drunk...you can act quite crazy.

The universe is literally screaming at this point for Seonghwa to look behind. Because you are having your own concert on the random table and are surrounded by strangers. Who... apparently are enjoying it?

As soon as he turns his head he's... perplexed. Because you're dancing seductively on a 2000s song, in your work clothes. Which was actually not that boring since you worked in the fashion department. Your white dress that reached just above your knees and a cropped pastel blue sweater on top, supporting the attire with your kneee high socks and platform heels.

You ruffle around your hair, use your hands to touch your body, feeling yourself. Not caring about the world. Looking like the main actress of a drama. Oh god, why was his heart beating so fast? His jaw was open, as if surprised but not complaining. However, as soon as his eyes go below he finds a crowd of people there.

Clearly, he wasn't the only one having fun. So disgusting these people are. Recording and gawking at a young, drunk woman. Well...not all of them. Seonghwa tried to call you down but you kept rejecting, all in your world. Until you hit a light on your forehead slightly, and came back down. Seonghwa immediately covered you with his coat, and gently rubbed your forehead.

The next thing you knew, you were outside walking around. And your drunk self being silly as usual. From screaming at the ducks for being so cute, to complaining about why bananas weren't pink. And Seonghwa couldn't help but laugh which you were offended by.

"It's not funny, it's a geniune request for the universe!!" Your voice all raspy and wobbly and so were your steps. "Why did you drink if you're such a lightweight?"

"...i don't know, I felt like it."

Yeah right. It was all just to escape from the pain of confused feelings.

"Hwa?" Your lips let out the nickname after so many years and it ignited a spark in the said man's heart. He looked at you as if...you hung the stars in the sky. "Yes y/n-ah?"

"Do you believe in soulmates?" The question got him a little off-guard but he replied anyways, "I do.." you took a deep sigh and clutched his coat that was on your shoulders even tighter, the cold wind slapping your face, it turned your nose and cheeks red, "then, do you believe in lovers that are meant to be?"

"Yes I do." He said, without taking eyes off of you. He saw you pause a little, hesistent maybe. And then you turned your gaze to him and spoke in a soft tone, "...what about... lover's who are unaware of each other's feelings..."

The wind kept picking up it's pace, you saw his hair dance, while his eyes...they looked, hurt. Why? Did you say something wrong? It was because he knew what you were hinting at. He would like to talk about it...one day, he'll make you sit and talk all about it. But finding the right time is getting harder. And he's afraid he might lose the time.

Before he opens his mouth to speak you shut him by saying it's late and we should head back. The entire car ride was so awkward. Not that it was anything new, but the drinking helped to distract you from the situation. As soon as you got out of the car, you gave him his coat back. The warmth that was taken away, you felt so dejected.

Perhaps it was the alcohol, but he seemed even more mesmerising than before. You just wanted to kiss him...but it'd be too spontaneous huh? His scent felt so intoxicating. While walking back a few tears fell from your eyes, you're not sure why. Seonghwa saw you wiping them....it broke his heart to see you like that, but what could he possibly do when in the first place, it was because of you, the seperation happened.

You can be quite a handful. Sitting on the beanbag, with coffee in your hand and a book on your lap. Which was just..there. because your mind was preoccupied by your last night's embarassing acts.

You felt a vibration as you were sitting on the bean bag, then your phone caught your attention. 'mum' the words shone bright on them.

"Hey honey...how was your day yesterday?" Her voice as gentle as ever. "It was...alright. I'm hungover right now by the way." To which you received a fit of laughter. Your mum had always been your biggest support, she was like a ball of sunshine wrapped in the attire of a mother. She always taught you to stay humble, grateful and a little crazy for the fun's sake. That's why you can share whatever you want with her.

"Whom did you go out with? Was it Hongjoong? Or That blind date guy, what was his name? Mountain?" She asked and you internally laughed at the 'mountain', "San mom, his name was San." A little Ah, of realisation came from the other end. "And no...I was with, Seonghwa."

As if other people weren't enough she started making teasy sounds and the 'oohs', for a fact you know her eyebrows are wiggling and she's poking the air which indirectly is you. "Mooom!" You whined trying to stop her trail of thoughts. "You know we're just friends right?"

"Of course I do...but he's a good guy no?" You rolled your eyes as if she could see you right now, "That doesn't provide as a valid reason to date him?" And your mom counter attacked with, "well, San was a nice guy too, I also teased you about him but you never gave him a chance as well."

You halted, because if it was about your relationship status, you could never win in that section with your mum. "I'm just saying....you guys have known each other since you were kids, and he's attractive too, hm?" Yeah, you would agree on that one thing. All those memories, where a number of girls had approached you just to fish out seonghwa's number or to get close to him. Oh and how could you forget the amount of gifts he recieved during valentine's day.

Thinking about it now, really makes you realize that...what you felt back then, was 'jealousy'. And not in a way that your friend was being taken away from you. But because...he was yours. It had always been Seonghwa and Y/n from the start.

"Besides, the way you two look at each other, can't just limit you to just 'friends'."

Was it really that obvious? Your lips gave out a sigh and you took another sip of your coffee. "Oh also, Seonghwa's parents are celebrating there 26th marriage anniversary, and all of us are invited."

The location was sent on your phone, you had to focus on the 'getting ready' part. On god, you never thought much about your outfits but today. Specifically today, you wanted to look the best out there. If Hongjoong was here he would've said "who are you going to impress with that dress?" While smirking and teasing the shit out of you.

But honestly,...who were you going to impress? "S-.." don't say it. You can't admit it!

The party venue was so beautiful. It was an outdoor restaurant, and filled with nature. Those trees and bushes were decorated with golden fairy lights, as you walked a bit further, all the tables were settled and flowers were hung on strings with more fairy lights that acted like a ceiling. Every table had a candle lamp. This reminded you very much of Tangled for some reason.

Your parents had already met you, in fact, even Seonghwa's parents greeted you. The only person missing was him. The party had all sorts of people, some you knew and some were absolute strangers. Amongst all, you wanted to look for him.

So restless. As though, without him you can't breathe. It just makes you question how the hell did you survive these 7 years without him? It must be funny to him too. You could've stopped him....but something about his back on you, made you feel like you weren't worth him.

A champagne flute in your hand, you were there physically but your mind was lost in the clouds of memories. Should you even be feeling this right now. As you're eyes wander around a tap on your shoulder is felt to which you turn around, "Who're you waiting for?"

Your head rotates towards the voice to find Seonghwa in a fitted white shirt, the first few buttons opened to expose his collarbones. God, you could almost outline his built, might be the lightening or the material of the shirt and he had rolled the sleeves up to his elbows, which for some reason was so hot? The bottoms were black, his wrist had a rolex while his neck was adorned with a gold chain. Oh yeah...he used to wear that back then too. His hair were down, and so floofy, you wanted to run your hands through them.

"Y/n?" His fingers snapped in front of you and you came back to your senses, realizing you were practically gawking at the said man. However, you weren't the only one observing. You could feel his gaze go from the top of your head to your toes. Analyzing, more like admiring the way you looked. Although, he wanted to rip of the dress right then and there that hugged your body so perfectly, he had to control himself.

The bun didn't make it any easier as well, the dresse's square neckline exposed your collarbones and he noticed that the dress had a slit as it went down showcasing one of legs. Gosh, you looked like a goddess.

"Y/n...you look, beautiful." He complimented in his soft voice, the way he looked down on you, and for some reason he leaned in even closer, your breath had started to hitch so bad. Your aura was now filled by his stimulating scent, he slouched down to meet your eyes, his eyes boring right into yours.

Somehow the whole world faded away, it was just you and him. One of his hands came up and tucked a hair strand behind your ear, from there, it went to your earlobe. He caressed it so softly, you were sure you'd fall, your knees were so weak, all because of the proximity between you guys.

"Did your earring get lost?" He whispered, and you stood there dumbfounded. "Hm?"

"Your earring."

Then it made sense to you, he was talking about one of your earrings which probably fell somewhere and you had no idea. "Oh...um...i-i.." ah yes, the classic stammering. No, honestly now you get why those main actresses reacted this way, tongue tied because apparently your mind goes blank and all you can think about right now is kissing him.

His smirk was still pasted on his face, like he enjoyed teasing you, "that's alright we'll find it." The rest of the night was beautiful. You enjoyed every second of it. Because on the dinner table your parents couldn't stop talking about your childhood stories and the same was for hwa's parents.

All the little stories, and Seonghwa's were mostly embarassing and you knew he wanted to run away. His face was so red and the wine was absolutely not the reason. Meanwhile, your laughter couldn't be stopped. You guys really stayed together for so long huh.

After a while when you got up to get ice cream, you see Seonghwa talking to a man. He seemed familiar for some reason. Just as gorgeous, but his hair were longer and he wore earrings in both his ears, and was also shorter than hwa. You decided to join them.

"Hey guys..." You started but it felt like you made a wrong decision because the atmosphere for some reason was already so tense. "Yes, her." Seonghwa said and you looked at him in confusion because now both of them were looking at you with their narrow eyes. "Wh-" and before you could speak Seonghwa interrupts, "my girlfriend."

"Girlfriend?" A voice from the back greeted you. How lovely.

Both of your families had heard what this man had blurted out.

Astounded. You sit in the car. Staring into space. Seonghwa sat besides you, panicking visibly. No, because if someone passed by the car they would see the most comical scene. You hear a meek, really timid call for your name and you don't even bother to look at the man. Instead you click your tongue and start screaming on top of your lungs.

"YOU IDIOT! WHAT HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?! HUH?" While throwing anything and everything you could find- which somehow included a bottle of sanitizer and a chocolate box?

"YOU ALREADY HAVE A GIRLFRIEND! WHY THE HECK WOULD YOU LIE? ARE YOU CHEATING ON HER?? THIS WAS NOT THE WAY YOU WERE RAISED PARK SEONGHWA!!" nag nag, like a mom. And hwa was going through what could be described as a traumatic experience because now came your smacks and punches.

"Y/n let me explain!!" The man finally managed to say something but you hit him more before calming down. Seonghwa looked like a scared cat as he passed a water bottle to you. You glared at him and snatched the bottle, gulping it down.

"It's gonna come as a stupid excuse...but that just...slipped off my tongue." He began and you hands already found themselves in your hair, clutching them hard, "...what would you say to your girlfriend then? Why'd you take my name anyways?"

His face morphed into that of sorrow, "we...uh.." you already knew what he was going to say. "Broke up." It pained you to see him like this. You still remember vivdly, how he was so afraid to talk to other girls but some of his friends made him go on a blind date, and those girls were mean, they insulted him and he came back crying. This was 10th grade by the way. His head in your lap as you tried to calm him down.

He had always been so soft, you couldn't imagine what he would've went through in this cruel world. "We were already very distant. It always felt like we there just for the show. So last night...she finally decided to break up."

Now the stars align.

He then explained why he said that there on the spot. Apparently, Wooyoung, is one of his work rivals. He didn't want to back down in front of him, because he had taken a full 2 months vacation from his work, saying that he's getting engaged. And well, seeing Wooyoung here, he got a bit freaked out, because Wooyoung could end his career. But luckily you walked straight there, like an angel.

Yeah, more like a lamb walking into a lion's den.

"But you could've said it a little less loud... because the whole family heard...and it's going to take a lot of time to clear this misunderstanding." You began, because your families that already shipped you, were in their emotional phase right now and anything you would say could be and would be taken as a betrayal.

"Sorry..." He muttered.

Despite having a pout on your face you took your handkerchief and blew hot air on it so that it'll warm up and then used that as a heating devide on Seonghwa's forehead, "...must've hurt.."

Seonghwa watches you care for him, even though you winced more and kept asking "does it hurt?" Tch. Gosh, only if he could kiss you right now. Wait. What?

Yes, he thought that right now.

It's isn't his fault though. If one thing he has learned from his friendship with you, is that, soulmates exists. And one-sided love is true. God, he fell so hard. He can't look at anyone else like the way he looks at you. And no one, no one makes him feel the things you do. "You look like a dream..."

He says out of the blue, and you slowly move your eyes to meet his, that's when you realise you're too close. Dangerously close. "What did you say?" You whispered, too scared to speak up, as though breaking the shell both of you had created around you in a span of seconds.

"You look like a dream."

Wow, somehow you survived the situation. You're standing at your door step while Seonghwa's car is still outside the main gate, waiting for you to get inside. But you don't, you look back once again, with a grin, a little too happy for some reason and wave at him. You see him chuckle as he waved back and you got inside. You never wanted to leave but...had to.

As soon as you close the door you slide against the door, looking red like a tomato. Your palms hide your face as you squeal and giggle like a teenager in love. "I'm in trouble..."

Seonghwa thinks back at the moment, he got bold huh? But, someone honked right from behind then screamed "get a room". Yes. It was Wooyoung. He smiled at the memory, he takes off his watch and then his shirt to change into comfortable clothes that's when he realises, he forgot to return you something. His hand shuffle into the pockets of his pants.

A sigh leaves his lips, "guess this gives us another chance to meet." His palm held your earring that you had lost. He doesn't look like it but he is sneaky, he found that earring near where you stood but you were too lost in your world.

So you were Seonghwa's fake girlfriend now. And your family also believed that lie. Crazy, but now they kept teasing you for it. Something about marriage and kids and what not. You shurgged it off whenever you were on a call with them or ignored it when you were with them but secretly...you tried so hard to keep a poker face.

Even at work Hongjoong had caught you daydreaming, and he'd say "love looks good on you". If you were being honest... you've thought about it. How would it be feel to call him your one and only? To live with him? Sleep on the same bed with him....how would it feel if your feelings were reciprocated?

However deep down, anxiety rose in the pit of your stomach. The reality is not it...it's nothing like your imaginations and thoughts. He might not feel the same way at all. "might not?" A painful smile appeared on your face...he obviously doesn't. He had moved on, and you were still stuck in the past like a teenager in love. Sleepless at nights, thoughts of him lingering a little too longer in your mind, replaying moments with butterflies each time.

In a different home and setting...things were quite similar. He realised his feelings had not even decreased one per cent. He'd laugh at the fact how confident he felt when he came back from abroad, feeling 100 per cent sure his heart wouldn't pick up it's pace and your eyes wouldn't work their magic on him.

Oh boy, was he wrong?

The moment he saw you, his pupils enlarged and his jaw opened slightly to take on all your beauty. How can a person become even prettier as time passed by? The world suddenly started to seem bright with you. And it wasn't a foreign feeling at all, it was as though he'd come back home. You. Just like before, every love song was and still remains about you.

How...vile of his heart? To not let go someone who doesn't even wants him. He hated the idea of you with someone else, but he was ready to leave you as long as you were happy. But...he didn't realize it was going to be this difficult.

Basically these two idiots had no idea, both of them liked each other secretly. They were hopelessly in love with each other.

Days went by, your work routine stayed the same but you know what else changed? Your evenings. Your nights. God, all the while you just patiently waited for your job to end, in fact, some days Hongjoong would let you off the hook early.

Then you and Seonghwa would explore the town in his car. Laughing, enjoying, mocking each other, taking silly pictures. It felt like those days were back, and you weren't going to take them for granted anymore.

Just like that, a dinner happened. It was organised by Wooyoung, Hwa's rival and both of you were invited. It was actually shocking to see those two act so in love at the dinner, because Wooyoung wouldn't stop kissing Seonghwa, he was just so drunk but then Seonghwa cleared that he was like that even when he was sober.

A lot of things happened during the dinner but the real fun...was after that. You guys strolled in the parks, laughing. Even catching a young couple, sitting on the benches, experiencing love probably for the first time.

Maybe it was invasion of privacy but it was just so wholesome watching the guy on the right put his hand on the bench and the guy, shorter than the first one, on the left inch by inch hold his hand and both of them looked on opposite directions probably blushing so hard.

You turned to see Seonghwa, his body was hovering you but his gaze was fixated on the couple on the front. You guys were hiding behind a few bushes. God if he looked down at you, you really couldn't control yourself. He never looked down but...you knew he was aware of you lingering gaze on him. How you traced his face structure.

You went to the karaokes, the beach in fact, which was eerily empty and because you were a fool in love, you found it romantic. Or going to the teokkbokki stall that was now built into a restaurant, and surprisingly the owner recognised you.

"Did you go to xyz High school?" The old lady with curly hair asked and Seonghwa responded yes, with a smile. "Aigoo, no wonder I've seen you before! You used to come here after school hours right?"

"Woah you remember!" You said, amazed. "So you guys became a couple huh? Ooh, such a cute and romantic dynamic. It's always the childhood sweethearts." She said while poking her fingers at Seonghwa's shoulder who was too perplexed to even deny her. You bit back a smile, watching his cheeks glow red and his silly reactions. He hadn't changed one bit.

Then when you sat on the bench near Han river, to watch a firework show. You don't think you can hold onto the feelings you felt when you were with him. It was so fuzzy...and warm. Like home..as you always said.

This time Seonghwa spoke, while gazing at the star filled sky, his eyes were bright once again. You aren't sure what he said at the start... because you were mesmerized by his magical looks...and not just because of his face, you could see yourself kissing his soft lips, holding his face in your hands, hugging him....

"Every time we're together, I just feel so happy and fulfilled..." 'I just wish I was brave enough to say the words, but maybe you feel the same way?'

You heard him say....and a smile creeped up your lips as he looked at you. A moment later the fireworks started to explode and your attention was preoccupied by them..in various colours they piped in the dark sky. Like painting an empty canvas... that's exactly how Seonghwa made you feel.

"I love you..."

You whispered while enjoying the fireworks, knowing damn well your words were muffled due to the loud noise of those fireworks. And yet it felt so light....that you couldn't stop smiling. "Hey..." He called for you and when you looked at him, he was holding out two sparklers, that ngit you lit then and smiled like children.

'I wish I was brave enough to tell you how I truly felt...'

"Hwa!" Your knuckles knock on the door of his hotel room. He wasn't living in his old house with parents but seperately, he said he wanted to buy an apartment just like you. Which amde you chuckle.

Today, you stood in front of his door because you were finally ready to confess after a contemplation of a week. Holding a bouquet, with a blush on your face. However, Seonghwa didn't seem to respond.

"..oh the door is unlocked?" Your hands wrap around the door knob and open it up, "..is he not home?" mumbling to yourself, you took in the view the room provided. The silence was really strange and uncomfortable. Because you could hear... something.

You turned around swiftly, in hopes for finding someone...but there was no one. A sound of something falling from the left greeted you, and your anxiety was growing...you didn't want to whisper for some reason. You just followed the voice, hoping that it was Seonghwa. It lead you to the bathroom.

A sigh left your lips once you saw Seonghwa, his body turned around...and half naked? Your cheeks were red....and when he moved just a little to the left..

It was another woman.

Your heart sank to your stomach...and your eyes dropped down. Your eyebrows furrowed, lips slightly twitched. Unconsciously, you clenched on to the bouquet, not realising it had thorns, which pricked one of your fingers.

A tears drop fell and mixed with the blood from your lips because you were biting on it too hard. With a sigh, you stormed away, but on your way you slammed the door. Throwing the bouquet somewhere in the hallway, the blood had trickled down till your wrists, while your lips won't stop bleeding and your tears....they were the same.

Fuck you didn't even have a car to escape as fast you wanted to.

Why?

.....why?

Your feet took you somewhere you knew you'd feel better, if not...you won't feel terrible like you just did a few seconds ago. Your mind kept replaying the scene like a broken casette. Once you reached the garden...you plopped on the ground and hugged your knees.

Clicking your tongue, you bow your head.."it doesn't feel that bad..."

So you said....still crying as if you had been betrayed. You felt like your world was falling apart in front of your eyes.

Everything seemed to melt away, and the ground beneath your feet was turning to dust. Your chest felt like it was caving in on you, and could feel your heart breaking in your throat.

You knew this would happen, that some day he would meet someone else, but to see it right in front of you... to see the two of them together... You just... don't know what to do with yourself anymore.

"So...I never really knew you.." you cried with your breaking voice. Maybe... you took all this for granted again...

Two weeks had passed by.

And you and Seonghwa hadn't talked since then.

Remembering your conversation with Hongjoong was just absolutely painful at this point.

"So...do you like him then?"

"I don't want to."

"But..you do?"

"I do."

Then proceeding to cry out a river. It was all so funny to you. You were the one who rejected him first anyway.

...

Did you?

Oh fuck it who even cares if I didn't or not...i never had the courage to tell him how i felt. I was so afraid..a fucking coward!

"Y/n!"

You turned around to see the same man, you wanted to avoid. Because you knew if right now you saw him...you'd break.

"Where have you been?" He came running towards you in his dress shirt, his tie loosened up, a few buttons opened. His hair still styled up, looked like he had just gotten off from his office.

He had grown up.

He came in front of you and painted while his hands were on his knees. "Wooyoung said he wanted to meet you again and it-"

"Let's stop acting like this Seonghwa." Your stern voice caught him off guard and he looked at you with a concerned look. "What?...but you agreed.."

"I did...and honestly, I'm sorry i did. I was an idiot." Your throat felt so hoarse and tight, eyes were glazed over, staring at the person in front of you.

You were trying so hard to stay calm and collected, but the tears were welling up in your eyes, threatening to spill over at any moment.

"No, no, no" you whispered to yourself, you can't break down like a child again. It was all for the best...right?"

"Did...did something happen?" His hand extended to stop you, to hold you, to embrace you...instead you took a step back, "You...have so many people that you have to meet. So many things that you have to do...I think it's best to spend them.. without me. Oh and.."

Your hand shuffle through your bag and take out a bracelet with a star charm, you remember you used to have an identical one but with an infinity charm, "here...keep this."

Seonghwa took the item in his hand, thoroughly observing it, "you...found this?"

"Mhm...I kept it when you untied it and there it in the middle of the ground." Seonghwa looked absolutely distraught. This was no what he had expected when he came back from the office, "don't keep sanitizers in your car." As though you were trying to make him realise what he had done wrong, you bitterly smiled but looked at him for the last time, "it'll remind you of us."

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rancidtae · 9 months

Text

ARCADIA’S LULLABY | CHAPTER 4

Genre: Mafia AU. Vigilante AU. Sci-fi (AI). Warnings: non-consensual drug use Pairing: exo & Original Female Character (Jung Jiah/Kang Rina) - Kim Minseok/Original Female Character - Zhang Yixing/Original Female Character Word count: 5k chapter summary: while the team is tailing Rina, Baekhyun gets hit with a feeling he thought he'd forgotten. a/n: I feel like a bunny calico critter scattering easter eggs here and there. btw this is where our flashbacks start, so keep an eye out for the date tags at the beginning of each scene

remember what's gone before not loaded with regret

masterlist meet the characters

081222 - 11:00 pm

Byun Baekhyun's a homebody. Always has been.

As the overseer of, well... everything, project manager, and human tech support, his days consist of sitting at the base of operations, otherwise known as home. You’ll find him surrounded by his monitors, headset always in place, eyes everywhere at once.

If there’s a security camera or a mic near, he’ll have eyes and ears on the scene.

Guaranteed, baby.

But he's not against changing the routine from time to time. If anything it’s healthy for his back. He’s 30 now. Paying for years of bad posture is proving to be unavoidable.

And when it came to this, he had to see it for himself, right?

Because what better opportunity than being hit with the discovery that your childhood friend, who you considered dead for the past decade, is out there, alive?

And if that’s not enough of a plot twist, get this: someone just put up a generous price on her head.

He’s here to make things a little less invasive after tampering her security system. Sending Sehun, a stranger, to enter her personal space while she’s out at a party simply felt wrong. Granted, he hasn’t seen her or spoken a word to her for at least a decade, but that’s what happens when you think someone’s dead and you’re not the type to fuck around with the Ouija board.

But they spent their childhoods and the uncomfortable purgatory that teenage years are together. They held a funeral for mintchoco, the tiny little lizard at Arcadia, her father’s Arcade joint, and buried him at the park two blocks away. She framed some guy for distribution of tentacle porn at the church youth club because he burned him with a cigarette. He was there for her first breakup and her emo phase. She burned his eyebrows off playing hot potato.

You don't just forget about things like that. It all must count for something, that’s what he tells himself as he pushes the door to her empty apartment open.

“Hi, Rina.”

“You know she’s not here, right?” Sehun says behind him, the entrance corridor’s light turning on make him jump and clutch his heart.

He forgot the guy was there. It's always the same with him and Jongin, they walk so quietly, it’s like dealing with a couple of overgrown cats.

“Yep, I’m aware. I’m just practicing.”

He’s spent the last week thinking about what he’ll say to her once Yixing stops gatekeeping her attention, suggesting a sturdier doorlock might be too much of a giveaway.

This is it. A typical small loft made of white walls and laminated floor. A small bathroom right by the entrance, a compact c shaped kitchen with a short bar table and two chairs tucked in. The living room consists of a simple green Ikea sofa with a table and a tv in front of it. There’s also a desk next to a globe lamp and a bookcase. It has little to no space available, all the books fit snugly into place.

It’s… cozy, homely down to the details; small potted plants, a quirky variety of mugs, more plants by the balcony, a cat rug on the narrow stair leading up to the open mezzanine. There’s a messy bed up there, just on top of the kitchen.

Sehun hates those. It's common knowledge. He always hits his head on the ceiling.

Speaking of, he's flicking through her vinyl collection. “She’s got good taste.”

“How is it?” Junmyeon asks through the line. He’s back at home with Kyungsoo. They're overseeing the operation while Jongin, Jongdae and Chanyeol are tailing her.

Fucking weird.

It’s undeniable; someone lives here. This is the space of a functioning adult. It’s hard to picture her when she was neither of those things when they last saw each other.

“You can take a look for yourselves,” Baekhyun says, finding the perfect spot for the nano cam on a frog figurine. “All good, Kyungsoo?”

“All good,” he confirms. He sounds stiff, more than usual.

Baekhyun’s not any less uncomfortable than him about planting spying devices on her, but everyone agrees and understands why it’s necessary. Usually, he’d just hack into her tv camera or her laptop, but none of those devices gave a decent POV.

One camera is aimed at the entrance and another is angled from the kitchen. He puts the last one on a corner of the living room, looking in from the balcony. He does his best to avoid her bed upstairs.

“You hid them well?” Jongdae asks. Everyone’s on the line tonight except for Yixing and Minseok. “You know it won’t be pretty if she ever finds out.”

“I’ll come back and take them off myself once we’re sure she’s clear.”

“She can throw a fit if she likes. Faking her death means she loses privacy rights.” Chanyeol says.

“Alright Vladimir,” Baekhyun shakes his head at the amused glance Sehun gives him from the kitchen. He looks like a Barbie trapped in a Polly Pocket house.

“I’m just saying. Be an asshole, get treated like one.”

The recent discovery of Jung Jiah has had polarizing effect on the team. No one’s been more vocal about their discontent with her than Chanyeol, but that’s to be expected, and Kyungsoo’s sulky as well, spending more time with his plants on the terrace.

While Jongdae and Junmyeon remain as neutral as they can, Yixing’s with him on this one. The two agree that as long as they’re in the dark when it comes to her whereabouts, passing judgment on her is not a fair move.

Minseok, on the other hand, has been making himself extra busy at work, all death-trap eyes when he thinks people are not looking, no feedback during meetings when she's brought up, so that’s bound to be interesting.

There’s of course a Kim Namjoon factor around her that they can’t ignore.

Minseok and Junmyeon got home that Friday night with the certainty that he knew, and that he intended to drop the revelation on them.

One thing is clear in the middle of all that confusion, he wants to use her as leverage. He waited until Minseok signed the syndicate deal, successfully infiltrating the organization after months of negotiations, and put her on the table like all five of Exodia's card reunited.

But that doesn't explain the biggest mystery of them all. How did Kang Rina go from being locked up in a federal prison in the middle of nowhere, to the center of Seoul's crime ecosystem as a uni student/journalist under the name of Jung Jiah?

New name, new life, writing for a newspaper, pissing off the wrong crowd, a deadly post it note with Kim Namjoon scribbled on it attached to her head.

“How’s it going in there?” Sehun asks.

“So far so good. Jongin approached her. She's acting tough, but she doesn’t look too upset about it.” Chanyeol says.

It’s too bad that Jongin turned off his mic. There’s a bet going about whether or not she’ll respond to his charm. Jongdae swears Jongin’s everyone’s type when he works his magic, but Baekhyun disagrees. He’s too tall, too young and he’s missing the cat eyes.

For now, Baekhyun's putting the emotional shock to the side and handling this like she set a life-sized board game for them to figure out. If there’s one thing he had in common with her, is being a mystery enjoyer.

There are smartly placed storage cabinets everywhere to save up room like in most of these small single-bedroom apartments. She’s made good use of her entryway closet, it’s stacked with winter shoes, coats, all sorts of bags, and two or three umbrellas.

“Sehun, get your hands out of the fridge, you didn't even wash your hands.” Kyungsoo scolds.

“She has cat food, but I don't see a cat” Sehun hums. “And for the record, Baekhyun was going through her underwear drawer before he set up the cameras.”

“What?”

“See how he’s not even denying it?"

Baekhyun might’ve fought the false accusations, but he happened to be going through her coats and just noticed a barely noticeable irregularity on the wall– a seam where there shouldn’t be one. Pushing everything to the side and inspecting the interior more closely, he runs his hands along the smooth wooden surface.

Wood, not wall.

And exactly like he was hopping, there’s a line there, he feels it.

“Kyungsoo, I left the security UI tab open, can you do something for me real quick?” he asks, using his phone flashback to inspect the sides of the closet, finding a blank outlet.

“Sure.”

“Look through the 220 volts outlets and devices. Uh– there should be one for the ac units, the washing machine, the water heater, cooktop…” he starts counting with his fingers “It’s definitely a circuit of its own.”

“I see a weird one, it doesn't have a name though.” Kyungsoo mumbles.

“It’s a date,” Junmyeon says. “October 10, 2020. Does that sound familiar?”

No, but they can figure that out later.

“Can you try that one? Just poke it, see if anything happens.”

And just like that, a section of the wall springs forward with a quiet click. Baekhyun just can’t help the delighted grin that takes over his face. He loves his job, he really does. It's unfortunate that her name came up and she's in danger, but she doesn't disappoint.

“Gotcha, Rinrin.”

“Can you stop talking like she’s there in the room with you? It’s creepy.” Jongdae says.

Chanyeol calls his name. "I think you’re losing that bet."

“What makes you say that?” he asks idly, pushing the door open.

“She just looked at Jongin like he’s nothing more than a piece of meat.”

“Jongin, if you’re listening, reel it in, alright? Overdoing it might blow in your faces.” Junmyeon warns.

Fuck the bet, Baekhyun thinks, he’ll pay for Jongdae’s meals for the rest of the year after this. This, right now, is promising to be a goldmine.

He crosses the threshold, exits another closet just like hers, and finds himself inside the adjacent apartment.

“Baekhyun?” Sehun calls out. He crawls out of the closet and looking around in awe. “Wow. She’s definitely wacky.”

“Kind of” Baekhyun laughs airily, making his way inside and turning on the lights on.

It’s the exact same layout as hers, only mirrored, absent of any furniture other than a desk and a simple chair. It feels more spacious like this, and the temperature is not warm, nor cold, just at the right spot to feel comfortable.

But there's a wall, and things take another turn. Sehun and Baekhung stop and take it in.

“Not kind of, totally wacky. Something is seriously wrong with her.”

“She got it from her dad.”

“Why? What’s going on?” Kyungsoo asks like he fears they'll say they found human bones.

“I’ll send you pictures in a bit,” Baekhyun assures, attention sucked in.

Now standing in the middle of what should be the living room, the grin slowly relaxes to a curious, careful little smile.

Just what have you been up to, huh?

“Wait, hyung, how’d you know she’d have something like this?”

271111 - Eleven years ago

She called his name and said,

“There’s something I want to show you,”

Baekhyun gave up on the Spiderman-themed decorations. The guys would arrive in about half an hour with drinks, food, and cake for Chanyeol's 19th birthday party, just before the rest of the people they invited, and if Minseok made it, he'd absolutely fix and organize everything to his meticulous standards.

So he jumped from the chair, dusted his hands, and followed her into the backroom.

There was a time, when they were kids, when he envied her so much he sometimes questioned their friendship.

How could he not? Her father owned an Arcade, and that alone gave her a 1% kind of privilege over all the kids at school. Mr. Kang was probably the coolest adult he knew. Everyone liked him at school; he was the teacher that let people hang out in his office and gave free coding lessons on the weekends.

To sum it up, Rina always had it good. She inherited his smart genes, so she didn't have to work herself to the bone to get into a good school, and even if she failed academically, she'd definitely inherit Arcadia.

Now, as a 19-year-old and as a part-time worker for her father's Arcade, Baekhyun had started to feel a hint of pity for her.

It began when she brought up her suspicion about her father hiding something—a family on the side, a shady job, gambling addiction. Chanyeol and Jongdae dismissed her worries and called her paranoid.

And honestly, Baekhyun kind of agreed with them, he just wasn’t that upfront about it. Eventually Rina moved on, started dating some flower boy that was way more into her than she was for him, got her hair done, and that was it.

But late afternoon, when he was getting rid of paperwork from months back and had nothing better to do, curiosity and boredom got the better of him. He sat down and paid attention to the numbers.

Things didn’t add up.

Arcadia was barely making any profit, sometimes not even enough to cover his salary. Granted, Mr. Kang had inherited the building, so he didn’t have to worry about rent. The electricity bill, the water bill, and maintenance costs were consistently covered. Baekhyun had no idea how much being a math teacher paid, but he had a feeling that it wasn’t nearly enough to get Mr. Kang out of the red.

That was two months ago, and Rina didn’t have much of a reaction when he mentioned it, so that was that. Assuming that she’d moved on for good, it didn't cross his mind until pay day came and Mr. Kang acted as relaxed as always.

It definitely didn't come up as he followed her into the dreaded utility closet where they had once encountered the biggest, fattest spider ever.

Then, she opened the wall right inside the closet.

A door. Where he never knew there was one. Because it was a wall. And walls usually don’t open or have hidden hinges like that.

But this one did.

Hesitating but kind of curious, he followed her down a dimly lit set of stairs, his hands trailing along the wall.

There was always something about stairs when you don’t know where they lead you. Fear pulled at his gut.

“Say rinrin...” he began, voice wobbly.

“Mhm?” she responded, her unbothered tone added to his unease.

“This seems kind of unsafe, don’t you think?”

“You’re good, don’t worry,”

That didn't reassure him much, but being Rina, how bad could it be?

Before he could play off his concern with a joke, cold lights blinded him. The peeling paint on the walls and outdated vinyl floors gave the basement an eerie feel. A chill started to get to him, this room wasn’t heated.

Not that they could afford that anyway.

Rina waited for him at the bottom, red beanie on top of her head, washed-out strands of blue highlights coming down her shoulders.

“Dude.”

“Alright, I’m going. You kind of look like a zombie flick character in this lighting, by the way. Like you just got bitten, but people just can’t tell yet.”

The basement sprawled out before them, larger than any basement Baekhyun had seen. Endless pipelines crisscrossed the ceiling, and despite the layers of dust, it looked and smelled relatively clean.

It really was cold as fuck.

The was a desk in the middle of the room, with a chair he recognized—a high-end, back-friendly model. Crazy expensive.

But that wasn't it. Several empty server racks lined the back. Baekhyun had never seen that many in his life.

“Wow.”

“Right?”

On the desk were two quad monitor mounts, a keyboard and mouse. Everything covered in a light layer of dust.

“I looked through the paperwork the other night,” she said, watching him curiously hit some keys. “I found blueprints. They didn't include this, but the utility plans mentioned a basement.”

He counted up to fifteen rack cabinets around them, all empty except for one, tucked away in the corner.

“You’re the only person who knows about this,”

His head whipped in her direction.

He felt kind of proud first, knowing that he’d been the first person someone trusts with something. She had Kyungsoo, Minhee, Minseok, and now her lovesick boyfriend. Chanyeol and Junmyeon as well. But she chose him.

But then it settled on him. She’d just put the responsibility of being the only other person to know about this place.

She’d been right all along.

Mr. Kang was hiding something, and it all led down to this basement. Baekhyun knew it looking at the cluster of servers. It just had to.

081222 - 11:30 pm

Sehun is, once again, going through her personal belongings. So far he’s found a loaded 22 under the bed, a brand new set of throwing knives wrapped like a Christmas gift inside her closet, and a hideous khaki jacket with tangled up faux fur on the lapel and cuffs.

“Why is Baekhyun quiet?”

Baekhyun’s sure taking his sweet time back in the eerie mirrored apartment, deep in a trance induced by all the information on the wall-sized bulletin board.

Sehun took a look at his eyes, realized that he wasn’t even listening to him, and decided to give the guy some alone time.

Everyone’s emotional these days.

Earlier today, Baekhyun told him that things could ultimately fall into his and Jongin’s hands, seeing that they're the only members of the team not compromised by personal involvement. He didn’t think much of it then, now it looks like he might've been right.

“He’s busy.” he mumbles, eyeing the small desk just opposite her bed. He has to bend his back to avoid hitting his head on the ceiling, his neck is starting to strain.

Stationery junkie. Explains the bulletin wall. She must take her Pinterest boards extra seriously.

Junmyeon is not happy with the lack of explanation. “Doing what? Why is he still in the closet?”

Chanyeol cuts in. “I’m not gonna make a joke out of that sentence. But I could, if I was in the mood. I’m just not.”

“He found a hidden door inside the entryway closet, it’s connected to the other apartment. She has the creepiest bulletin wall. She has pictures, documents, maps. Nothing related to Lee Chungjae, I think.”

Whatever intel she has in there, it looks like years' worth of work.

Sehun is more concerned about how a journalist can afford double rent in this economy and how she got a secret security door installed without the building owner finding out and getting a hefty lawsuit.

He's kind of impressed..

Chanyeol sighs. “She has a fucking death wish.”

“No. She has a job.”

“Oh. That's definitely not a work thing, that shit is personal. Stalker levels of information. And she definitely doesn’t want anyone getting their hands on it.”

He would've approached it differently—nothing as flashy as a whole wall filled up with evidence. But he respects her for staying on the analog side of things.

If there's something they know in their line of work, is that digital means vulnerability.

But still, it took Baekhyun less than an hour to find his way in there, perhaps even less time than it would've taken him to find it if she stored everything in a bulletproof server.

All the effort, surely a few paychecks of investment, all for someone to go through that door and just find hard evidence on everything.

“Guys, this is gonna be awkward,” he says, pausing before further investigating her pink skincare mini-fridge. “But she’s got– uh, a fuckton of downers in here.”

He’s seen some shit in his own time, but nothing like this. Several crystal bottles neatly lined up next to her toner pads and chemical exfoliator.

“Ok,” Junmyeon says, very carefully. “What– what kind?”

“Isoflurane.”

"That's not even a thing. You just made that up."

“You're joking.”

“Isn’t that... anesthesia?” Jongdae asks, but it looks like he already knows the answer.

"Anesthesia!?"

Sehun would love to know how she gets her hands on it. Few substances are as meticulously handled as anesthetics.

He holds a bottle in his gloved hand and reads the label. If he remembers correctly, isoflurane vaporizes at room temperature, so it makes sense that she keeps them here. Inside a skincare fridge, though? Who even thinks of that?

But she sleeps with a 22 under her, so there’s that. Absolutely fucking wacky.

“But she doesn’t look– you know? She seems healthy. Yixing says she looks great.” Kyungsoo argues, sounding really against the notion that she might be using. “It doesn’t make sense.”

“There’s something called high-functioning addiction.” Chanyeol counters.

“I know that. But it doesn’t make sense.”

Sehun agrees.

We’re missing something here.

Frustrated, he moves on to a plastic storage box under her desk. The first thing he finds, much to his surprise, is a bunch of packaged gas masks.

She’s meticulous. She carefully set up the door and the wall at other apartment. But Baekhyun found it. Easily. Like it was child’s play.

There’s a package underneath the gas masks. Blue filter replacements. Enough of them to make him stop in his tracks and his stomach drop.

He recognizes this grade. They’re made specifically for toxic fumes and chemical substances.

He slams his head against the ceiling.

“Fuck!”

“Sehun?”

Sehun rips the plastic with his teeth, hastily puts a mask on. And runs down the narrow stairs.

“It’s a setup.”

He runs down the corridor.

Inside the closet.

Pushes the door. Enters the mirrored apartment.

And there’s Baekhyun, sprawled on the floor, motionless.

Unconscious.

081322 - 01:45 am

They’re usually better than this.

As in, most days in this job don’t end up with two people in the emergency room, and someone donating blood.

Turns out he has the same blood type as Miss Nut Nut.

The night came to an end in a blur, and then things slowed down to an almost unbearable pace. Thankfully Dr. Jangmi picked up Junmyeon’s call immediately and made sure Baekhyun and the girl –who got in the way of a bullet, successfully this time– both had the best attention. As soon as possible.

Naturally, and thanks to the fact that they knew what substance he was on, Baekhyun gets discharged first, within hours.

He looks like he’s seen better days, pale skin, dry lips, IV drip next to him as Jongdae wheels him inside the private waiting room. Still, he flashes a boxy grin, rolling his eyes at the different looks of concern he gets.

“Wait, listen– it wasn’t that bad. I think I could be a drug addict in another life.”

Some find that funny, some don’t. Overall, everyone’s relieved to see that he feels fine enough to joke around.

“How’s she?”

“Still in surgery,” Kyungsoo says, holding an empty cup of coffee between his hands.

It’s been a while since they’re all in the same room at the same time. There’s always more than one person missing, even when they go out for a meal and drinks at night. Usually, it’s Jongdae and Minseok, sometimes it’s Yixing.

“Is it bad?”

Jongin blinks down at the floor, fresh out of the shower, with a fresh set of clothes on. His whole shirt and lap were soaked in blood. Through and through. Sehun took a look at him and let him know that he would kill it in any Japanese horror movie, and congratulated him for surviving his interaction with Miss Saw.

“She lost a lot of blood, but they have it under control. They’re fixing up an artery right now.”

Minseok walks in, tie undone, bags under his eyes, a cloud of tobacco around him. He closes the door behind him and nods at Baekhyun, coming to rest a hand on his shoulder.

Jongdae offers to get another batch of coffee.

“You alright?”

“A little drowsy, but it’s cool.” he fixes his throat. “It’s like waking up from the best worst nap ever. Uh– she knows, by the way.”

Minseok’s fingers running through his hair still, Baekhyun fears for a moment that his fist will close. His scalp is too sensitive.

“I’m sorry, what was that?”

“Jongdae, be a sweetheart and get me some water, please. I’m still,” he grabs the handles of the wheelchair, ignoring the awaiting eyes on him. “figuring this thing out.”

“What does she know?”

Jongdae forgets about the coffee and gets him a bottle from the fridge.

"For fucks sake, Baekhyun."

He holds a finger up, taking short sips and making sure to wet his lips. Kyungsoo stands up and swiftly grabs the bottle from his hands.

“Talk.”

“That is incredibly rude, I almost died tonight.”

“And you still can. Start talking.”

“Ok. Alright. Look, she doesn’t know know, but she’s… well on her way there.”

All eyes are on him, as if waiting for the punch line to drop, or for him to start laughing and tell them how bad they fell for it.

Junmyeon’s careful blink means he knows there is no such thing as a joke going on at the moment. “What are you saying right now?”

“She knows about High Tide. She doesn’t know know about the Arcadia Initiative, but she’s… I don’t think she’s that far off. Oh, and there was... something called Project Selene."

“Is it ok to talk about this here?” Sehun asks, side-eyeing Jongin, and finds that his face is contorted in a strange grimace.

Junmyeon stands from his seat, running both hands through his hair, sounding breathless. “How’s that even possible?”

“She talked to Krystal, they met at some point. She must’ve been one of her sources.”

Sehun wonders if his ears are deceiving him. “What?”

“I’m sure of it. She saw my tattoo and mentioned a friend who had one just like it. Red, back of her neck. It had to be Krystal.”

Chanyeol’s voice is hoarse and quiet. His hands hang between his thighs, a grimace wrinkling his face.

“That’d be shitty, wouldn’t it?”

“What do you mean?”

“After Mr. Kang... you know. She was right about him from the start.” he chuckles humorlessly “And now when she’s close to finding the truth, if she-- if she doesn’t make it--”

Baekhyun cuts him off. “That’s fucked up, man.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I was angry and I got distracted. This wouldn’t have happened if didn’t stall.”

“It’s not your fault.” Kyungsoo protests, put off by the fact that he’s considering such a thing, looking around for backup.

“We all made the call. I could’ve stepped up, talked to her and got her out of the city for a while, and we could’ve avoided this.” Yixing follows, putting his hand on Chanyeol's shoulder. “So don’t blame yourself, Chanyeol. We’ve had a rough night, but she’s stubborn. She’ll pull through. Dr. Jangmi's helped us out of worse before.”

“It was a delicate situation, we all knew there was an added risk.” Minseok's tone is unreadable. But there’s nothing new about that.

“You’re right.” Yixing nods. “We’ll discuss what we’ll do about... everything Baekhyun found in its due time, once she recovers. And we’re all cool-headed.”

“Yeah. Let’s just... deal with this later.” Junmyeon says. There’s a haggard look on his face, but his bloodshot eyes keep staring at a specific spot on the floor, probably already thinking of the implications of this revelation, of the consequences, and the possible moves to make.

Jongin and Sehun share a look. The tension has risen again, as it has several times this week when the subject comes up. Every single time it feels like an argument is imminent and shit will hit the fan, though it never quite gets there.

And it only adds up for the next time.

“What’s there to discuss?” Minseok asks in a tone that leaves no space for answers, regarding Junmyeon and Yixing with a coldness in his expression that takes Sehun by surprise. "Isn't it obvious?"

His tired expression from before and heavy eyelids have sharpened to a stern mask they’ve seen only a few times since he met him. It’s not usual that Minseok talks like the eldest, so when he does, the room stills and holds its breath.

“The second she learns the truth this will make it to The Chronicle’s front page. When that happens, this all goes down, we go down, and she goes down. They won’t be this sloppy.”

Junmyeon looks away, jaw clenched. Chanyeol keeps his eyes on the floor. Jongdae looks out of the window at the view from Kyunkook Hospital. It started to rain a few minutes ago, and he can’t tell if the timing is terrible or soothing.

“She's not a risk we can afford to take.”

Baekhyun looks down at the diluted blood filling up the drip chamber in his hand.

Only Yixing looks directly at Minseok while he’s speaking. His expression gives away nothing.

“Jung Jiah can never know the truth. She got close, and that’ll be it. We'll make sure of it.”

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