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[prankvids]

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[artificial-transmutations]

The curse of the witches house

Ratko sighed. He really loved his job as a paramedic, but this was the third emergency call today, and he started to just feel tired. The first two calls were not so hard, though. One of them was nothing more than a car accident on the road nearby. And it didn't take long to find all wounded people at that one.

This time was different, though. It took him almost an hour to reach the location where the emergency happened. This wasn't because of traffic or distance, but rather due to the fact that it was in a remote and deserted building in a forest, which was not easy to find. "The witches house", people called it. No-one knew what they did there, but some said that something evil lurked behind those walls.

When he finally found the place, Ratko felt scared. It looked like a haunted house from the movies. It wasn't difficult to imagine that a witch was once living there. A broken window gave him access inside.

"Hello?" he shouted nervously. His voice sounded small in the dark empty room. But no answer came. "Is anyone here?!" he tried again. Great, he thought. Either it had been a prank call or the people needing help were unconscious - or worse. Maybe someone got hurt badly.

He entered the house and checked if anything seemed wrong. Nothing did until he came to the cellar. There, he smelled the strange smell of burned herbs. He saw a big table with several jars full of unknown ingredients. Curiosity got the better of him and he looked around some more in the room. Suddenly, he heard a noise from above, startling him badly. Instinctively backing off, Ratko accidentally knocked one of the old jars from the table, breaking it. Immediately, the smell of exotic herbs filled the air and Ratko briefly heard a ghostly echo, like the cackle of an old woman. Frightened, he shook his head and quickly left the cellar.

After searching the house, he concluded that it was probably a prank call. Frustrated, Ratko went home. It was early evening already and after eating dinner, went to watch some tv. Normally, Ratko would spend the evening reading or studying, but today, he didn't really feel like it. Searching for something that caught his attention, he finally settled on a socker game. Normally, Ratko didn't care for sports at all, but today it just felt right. He even went to get a can of beer from the fridge that was still left from his last birthday.

That wasn't even so bad, Ratko concluded, as he sat on his couch, sipping his beer and watching sports. The good part about socker, or sports in general, was that the players were usually pretty fit and good looking. Perhaps he should work out more himself, he mused, while he stuck his right hand into his pants almost automatically. He felt his cock chub up and began stroking it gently. Oh well, maybe tomorrow morning...

The next day was Saturday and Ratko woke up late in the morning on his couch, feeling lazy and relaxed. It took him a moment to recollect what happened yesterday, but the beer can on his floor and the cum stains in his uniform pants told him most of the story. After showering and cleaning up, he decided to go jogging instead of going to the library, which is what he usually did on Saturday mornings. He was surprised by himself about how fit he was. Running didn't really tire him much and his body was functioning like a well-oiled machine. But God was he horny. Every time he passed a somewhat attractive guy, he turned around and checked out their asses. Perhaps he should try to get laid again, it had been a while. The erection that grew in his running shorts was hard to hide. At first, he tried to stuff it down his leg, but it wouldn't stay there. So, he decided to just flaunt it and smiled at men looking at his bulge. At some point, somebody smiled back. He wasn't bad looking, so Ratko stopped and, after checking the other man out, addressed him unusually bluntly: "Hey man! Like what you see?" It wasn't like him to be so direct, but somehow, he found it difficult to formulate proper sentences today.

The stranger laughed and answered in kind: "Yes, I do."

"Good," Ratko replied confidently, "so let's take this somewhere private."

"Sure thing!" the young man said enthusiastically and grabbed Ratko's arm. They walked together through the park and when they reached a secluded corner where no one could hear them, Ratko pushed the stranger against a tree and kissed him passionately. It was only a few seconds before the two started making out hotly and groping each other.

"Oh fuck, yeah!" Ratko groaned loudly as his hands explored the stranger's body. He loved the smooth skin and soft muscles underneath his fingers. His dick was throbbing like crazy now and it was getting harder and harder to keep control over it. With some force and not much finesse, Ratko flipped the guy around and pulled down his pants, exposing the strangers ass.

"Fuck me! Fuck my tight little hole!" the stranger moaned and lifted his buttocks up.

"I'm gonna do it, baby!" Ratko growled and pressed his cock against the guys asshole.

"Oh yes!" the man cried out, "fuck me hard!"

"Yeah!" Ratko grunted and shoved his cock inside the man's ass. He felt the heat of the stranger's body and smelled its sweat. The man's ass squeezed his cock tightly as he thrust forward with powerful strokes.

"Ohh yesss!" the stranger screamed out as he felt his ass being fucked hard. He couldn't believe how good it felt. His whole body trembled, and he felt his balls tightening. He knew he would soon cum if Ratko kept fucking him like this. He wanted to warn him, but his voice failed him. Instead, he just gasped loudly as he felt an orgasm rushing towards him. And then it hit him, and he exploded deep inside the stranger's ass. He clenched his teeth and closed his eyes as waves of pleasure coursed through his body. At the same time, the stranger moaned and creamed the front of his own pants.

Both men were panting, and Ratko couldn't believe that he just fucked a random guy out in the open. Somehow, though, it made him feel proud.

"Want one?" The stranger offered Ratko a cigarette. He wanted to reply that he didn't smoke, but then again, why not start now, he reasoned and took the cigarette.

"Thanks," he said and lit up. He took a long drag and looked at the man who was still holding his pants up. "We can do this again sometimes", Ratko offered, while already walking away.

Although he just finished a run and pounded a strangers ass, Ratko was still feeling full of energy, so he decided to go to the gym to lift some weights.

It was a long workout and after it, Ratko was feeling horny again. On the way home, he bought some packs of smokes and a six pack of beer. He lit a cigarette already on the way home and another when he arrived on his couch and cracked open a beer.

Parts of Ratko felt disgusted. He was a far way from the intellectual he had been before, and could only watch helplessly, as with each passing hour today, his thoughts had slowed down and his body had grown bigger, and he could do nothing to stop this curse.

The next day, when Ratko woke up and after he jerked off in the morning, he looked at himself in the mirror, while smoking another cig. Yeah, he looked good, Ratko decided with a dumb chuckle. Time to work out and then find another guy to sink his jock meat into.

#male transformation #gay jock #smoking #dumbing down #muscle tf

[reginadaita]

La Squadra as su!gar daddies

Im back and idk enjoy it XD As always I tried to picture the boys as hot daddies.... but uasbiuneufbiebfiu they already are sfsidfbb let me stop already😂😂😂😂

Risotto Nero: applied on one of those apps, he felt kind of awkward reaching out in different ways. He loves to spoil his baby but rather just sends them money out of nowhere, he is a very busy man and he won't be able to see his baby all the time.

Dates with him include long walks at beaches or forests, trips to exotic islands and places, wine tasting and the do 😉

Has only one baby, he doesn't like to be vulnerable around a lot of people.

Prosciutto: This man was made to be one. He loooveees to spoil his baby with any kind of luxury, because he himself is big on that. He is also very forward, when he expects something from his baby he will tell them without hesitation.

Dates with prosciutto are like in movies: fancy dinners, ball nights, driving through the city in the most expensive cars, trips to different countries and a lot of shopping trips.

Melone: He considered to get a baby after regular hook-ups. Even though Melone enjoys giving gifts, he is more fond of physical things, shall it be hugs, affectionate kisses, cuddling....

Dates with Melone include motorcycle rides, karaoke, drinking tea while gossiping, any type of spa and beauty treatments (prosciutto swell!) and just any crazy stuff he comes up with.

He and Formaggio are the funniest daddies out of them all.

Ghiaccio: He is very cold in the beginning, almost like Mr. Grey. Over time, he is more open to his baby and likes to crack a joke here and there. Ghiaccio just appreciates the company of someone who endures his rants. And he is willing to pay for that too.

Dates with Ghiaccio include cooking together, going to libraries, playing the guitar, go iceskating and or swimming.

Illuso: The first he said when meeting up with his baby was: "Wanna fuck?". We all know that this man is smug as hell and will tease not only his business partners, but also his baby. He loves to buy them any kind of expensive Italian lingerie he can get. His baby is like a diamond to him that he just wants to keep to himself.

Illuso loves to play golf or any sport where he can flex and show off his body.

Formaggio: First of all he doesn't like it when someone calls his baby a "sugar baby" or any kind of name, because he rather seems them as a good friend he pays😂 . Just like Illuso, he likes to tease his baby and prank them. He is also pretty spontaneous, one time he send his baby over 10`000 Euros without really caring ("just do what you want with it").

Pesci: Prosciutto got him one. At first he didnt realise that his baby was working as a baby. Once he got the hang of it, he didnt really care, since he himself doesn't like to be judged.

Pesci is a man made for handmade gifts. Soaps, perfumes, paintings...pesci just loves to spoil them with any kind of creative idea he comes up with.

He will definitely take them on his private yacht in summer to go fishing and swimming. In winter, he likes to stay with his baby at beautiful resort that is of course ocean themed.

#la squadra headcanons #la squadra blog #vento aureo headcanons

[janeelyakiri]

Can you do the gift give and get for all your main boys too?

How about for Polly and their mates?

Macaw- He's likely to give S/O something he programmed. Maybe a new patch for their pc/laptop, hell maybe a laptop that he built for them. Like yeah he could jsut buy them a new pc or he could *build* them the best PC out there. For receiving? Anything space related. Hell those cheap glow in the dark star stickers? He'd love those.

Lupo- S/O will find their car just, fixed. Like overnight. Even if nothing was wrong with it, it's suddenly just, better? He's also willing to do custom work on it for free! Uh, not at the shop though. His boss would have a fit. He'd also learn his mate's favorite food/meal and make it constantly till he's perfected it! Receiving- It's not what he gets, but when. If S/O brings it to his work or has it delivered to his job? He'll go *bananas* and just, be sooo happy! Look! Look what his precious mate got him!!! Not to say he hates getting gifts other times, just he likes the showing off.

Falcon- Oh boy… jewels, gold, expensive gifts in general. His mate is spoiled and a nice piece of jewelry around there neck is the same as a collar, right? For receiving, exotic mustards. Yeah he's easy but he enjoys the little things.

Jackal- They love gifting expensive things as well, but will focus on clothes. Tailored, because mass produced just won't show his mate's perfect form as nicely! Also clothes that, ahem, only he can enjoy seeing them in~ They love being gifted different cooking ingredients. Different oils, exotic spices, things that are hard to get ahold of (for most. He IS rich after all). Also just, cooking with his mate. Even if they're standing nearby and handing him ingredients because they can't be trusted with cooking.

Jay- He's... lame at gift giving. Flowers, chocolates, maybe a stuffed plush. I mean if it works for some then, y'know! But he likes cooking for his mate more, spoiling them at home. Receiving, he'd like praise mainly. Kisses, pda, backrubs. He's not super into material stuff (mainly bc he's never doing anything besides working...)

Fox- Plush toys! Specially ones that remind him of his mate~ Soft blankets too. And he loves receiving plush toys of foxes and bees. Specially minecraft ones. Honey as well! Get him those fancy flavors and he might just get excited enough to give S/O a kiss!! Gasp!

Crow- Loves to sew things for his mates. Loves to cook, bake, make things for them. Meanwhile he'll claim he doesn't need things in return, he means it... but get him something anyway and he will NOT let it go. Easy mode is giving him shiny things. Hard mode is something sentimental. Something that is so him AND his mate in essence.

Hound- Gifts range from well thought out 'been planning this for months' to 'i saw this and thought of you'. Receiving? About the same. Hell give him a squeaky toy as a PRANK gift and he'll straight up chew on it. What you think his silver fang doesn't bother him? This shit feels great on it!

Vulture- Food, obviously. But also pelts he's gotten from his hunts, and carved bones. His mate not being afraid of him is the biggest gift he could ever receive.

Hyena- Same as Vulture, food, pelts, carved bones. He also likes gifting weapons he feels his mate would be great with, and would love teaching them. But also if his mate brings him gifts from their hunts, or things they've made, he will treasure them!

Robin- His gift to his mate is living. But he demands everything in return.

Dingo- Would be that one to bring back a flower, or a soft thing he found. Something pretty for his Pretty. He doesn't expect anything in return except some affection. Head pats and scritches.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Polly- All get free clothes mended and heals and kisses but also

Horror gets recipes they find, baked goods, and a cute little plushie of themself they tried to make.

Dust gets some new comics they found, a no sew blanket Polly pieced together with loving intent. And an airsoft pellet gun to use on Killer.

Cross gets chocolate cupcakes (horror helped polly make them), and chocolate bars Polly manages to sneak into the castle. And Polly spars with him lots!

Killer- this cool knife Polly came across! and these shiny things!

Nightmare- peace and quiet as Polly wrangles the boys, and also a large af cross stitch polly worked on for like a year of all them together, like a family portrait.

For receiving, Polly is happy with anything. But attention is the biggest gift they love getting!

#macaw!sans #lupo!papyrus #falcon!sans #jackal!papyrus #jay!sans #fox!papyrus #crow!sans #hound!papyrus #vulture!sans #hyena!papyrus #robin!sans #dingo!papyrus #jan oc polly #long post #asking bone bois

[wedeliverstrippers247]

Strippers: The service for fun and entertainment

Striptease now will not surprise anyone. This activity has long been integrated into people's daily lives. Strip clubs are opened both on the central streets of large cities and small towns. These are some of the most popular places to visit. They make films about strippers and strippers, write books, gossip, and makeup legends. This part of the sex industry is considered "light" because the basis of striptease is the ability to move seductively to music, dance on a pole, gradually take off your clothes, and gives pleasure and that's it. "Striptease" is just two words: undress and tease.

Many spectacles are already boring because today it is harder to surprise someone than before. But still, people need positive emotions, and you can give them to friends by ordering a striptease show. Modern Denver Female Strippers are not just an erotic dance with nudity. This is a fascinating theatrical performance, a professionally staged show in which you enjoy the beauty of the human body and the plasticity of movements. You can order male and female striptease, which awakens sexuality and vicious fantasies. Female and male striptease in Chicago can be a great birthday gift, for a bachelor party or a bachelorette party. For example, you can order a female striptease for the groom in the sauna or a nightclub. This will lead a lot of fun and an unstoppable night.

You can order a female striptease anywhere in the city, the main thing is to take care of it in advance so that Chicago Female Strippers have the opportunity to arrange a performance with the management of the institution. For uninhibited girls on a bachelorette party, you can order a male striptease in a limousine or invite a duo of strippers on a yacht. For the fair sex who want exotic, professionals have a separate offer. You can order a male striptease performed by a black dancer who will charm the culprit of the holiday with a passionate erotic show. You will get an original surprise thanks to a striptease prank. A nice gift to the boss or employee – a "striptease to the office" can be presented by a sexy secretary, maid, or nurse. And having ordered a striptease at home, as a gift for a friend, she will meet a pumped-up plumber or a courier from a pizza a boy. A striptease prank can also take place in other scenarios: flower delivery, striptease from a gift box or a fake cake, an inconspicuous stripper-guest, or a brutal policeman stopping the car. If you have other ideas or you want something new, please contact professionals and they will come up with a way to surprise your friends. You can also order an individual striptease. The true sexuality of the body will open up before you, and you will observe how eroticism is born in every dance movement.

[seat-safety-switch]

For years, I had been doing the YouTube thing. Infinitely long belts of servers orbiting the planet passed algorithmic judgment upon me and my antics, deciding when to offer shiny pfennigs and when to deliver scorn upon the antisocial - and worse, unadvertisable - behaviours contained within each film.

The most popular ones were the surprises. It’s because the people watching couldn’t see them coming, and so neither could the algorithms. You know what I mean. Unboxing. Surprise birthday parties. “You won’t believe what I found in my vacuum cleaner bag.” All that sort of shit, it ate up. Catapulted me to the superstardom ranks of the 15,000-subscriber variety. Unpredictability. The machines can’t deal with it, and it sets off our little protosimian fear engines. That’s the ticket to big views.

Thing is, it’s hard to go from being a “D” player to being a “C” player. Once you’re on the board, the other players can see you, too. I remember filming this beautiful seven-course dinner at a fancy French restaurant downtown and looking up to see a prank artist approaching my table. I knew it was going to be a setup, but he was a Hundred K, and I thought maybe I could get a collab out of the whole thing. Instead, I got two bullets in the chest and had to buy a new GoPro. He’d pivoted to livestreamed political assassination, and I hadn’t kept track.

After that, I kept track. Started “surprising” his whole content network with up-close mechanical inspections of leased exotic sports cars, which I then set on fire for the views. I made sure to take a break in the midst of the firefights, remind them to like and subscribe, otherwise I’d never make it to One Mil and get that plaque.

None of us really knew then that the YouTube algorithm had decided to move on from our solar system. It left a sort of drone mind behind, in the data centres, and went off to explore Alpha Centauri, in search of viral Chinese cooking videos. That wasn’t a good move. The views became harder to come by back on Earth, and we got really desperate. I was lucky to be in a coma for most of the Rise And Grind Wars. It was a good thing - after that science ‘tuber let off that nuke in Lower Manhattan, we all learned the threat of exposure.

[demifiendrsa]

Saints Row (2022) - Official Announce Trailer

Charles Interview and Gameplay Footage

The Saints Row reboot will launch for PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X|S, PlayStation 4, Xbox One, and PC via Epic Games Store on February 25, 2022.

Logo

Key visuals

Screenshots

Overview

About

Welcome to Santo Ileso, a vibrant fictional city in the heart of the American Southwest. In a world rife with crime, where lawless factions fight for power, a group of young friends embark on their own criminal venture, as they rise to the top in their bid to become Self Made.

As the future Boss, with Neenah, Kevin, and Eli by your side, you’ll form The Saints—and take on Los Panteros, The Idols, and Marshall as you build your empire across the streets of Santo Ileso and battle for control of the city. Ultimately Saints Row is the story of a start-up company, it’s just that the business The Saints are in happens to be crime.

Experience the biggest and best Saints Row playground ever created; the unique sprawling world of Santo Ileso is the backdrop for a wild, larger than life sandbox of thrilling side hustles, criminal ventures and blockbuster missions, as you shoot, drive, and wingsuit your way to the top.

Express yourself and unleash your inner Saint, with the most advanced suite of customization tools yet seen in an open-world game—make your character, your car and your crew your own.

Dive into epic gunfights and highspeed chases, and witness outrageous only-in-Saints-Row moments in an original story that charts the Saints’ remarkable rise to power. Enjoy the freedom of playing the entire campaign with a friend through seamless untethered co-op play, where you can both push the limits of your gang and create your own gameplay moments together.

Key Features

Witness the Birth of The Saints – Play through an action blockbuster original story full of criminality, extraordinary scenes and signature surprises laced with humor.

Discover the Weird, Wild, West – Dive in to Santo Ileso, the biggest and best Saints Row playground ever, spread across nine unique districts surrounded by the vast, majestic beauty of the Southwest Desert.

Build Your Criminal Empire – Take over the city block by block, wage war against enemy factions and tighten your grip on the streets with ingenious criminal ventures.

Fire Guns. LOTS of Guns – Shoot revolvers from the hip, fire and forget with a rocket launcher, or obliterate up close using melee heavyweights, complete with brutal takedowns. A vast variety of familiar and exotic weapons, all customizable, and all deadly fun.

Take to the Streets and the Skies – Blast through urban and desert environments in any one of the cars, bikes, planes, helicopters, VTOLs, hoverbikes, hoverboards, go-karts or equip your wingsuit to swoop around.

Unprecedented Customization – Create the Boss of your dreams, with the most extensive character customization suite ever seen in the series, then complete the look with incredible options for weapons and vehicles.

Seamless Co-Op – Experience everything on offer with a friend at any time, via fully untethered drop-in / drop-out co-op, skipping the need to take either of you out of the outlandish action; play nice together, or play all new pranks on your team mate. After all, who’s the Boss now?

#Saints Row #Saints Row 2022 #Volition #Deep Silver #video game #PS5 #Xbox Series #Xbox Series X #Xbox Series S #PS4 #Xbox One #Epic Games Store #long post #Gamescom 2021 #Gamescom

[naoyas90dayfiance]

In which reality TV shows could the JJK characters be in?

Warning: this is canon, gege told me.

Characters: all I think

Author's note: this is messy.

Naoya Zenin: 90 day fiance.

• Naoya is reality TV gold.

•He's going to ask his "s/o" to walk three steps behind him on international TV.

•His s/o is an actress he hired because he wanted to be on TV and show how superior the Zenin clan is.

•Appears on every spin off.

•Eventually is the new face of Sister Wives.

Gojo Satoru: Love after Lockup

• In real life this man has been to prison CHANGE MY MIND.

• He spent his teenage years in prison for plotting and succeding on stealing money from big banks worldwide.

• Has been to Alcatraz twice.

• Ofc he got a s/o while being in prison. He put on his photo online and people went WILD.

• When he got out he met up with his s/o, acted all nice, charming and cute.

• Fan favorite because he's so wholesome and people wonder why he is on the show. He seems like a regular or even above average guy.

•In the final episode he disappeared and his s/o got swatted. The reason was that Satoru actually stole info and money from the Pentagon using his s/o's IP address.

• Satoru is on the run, please contact authorities if seen.

Geto Suguru: Love after Lockup

• It's canon basically, but i will explain for u.

• Terrorism. Mass murder. And a DIU for good measure.

• Sentence longer and thicker than his D- hair.

• Alpha male in Alcatraz.

• He's not allowed to leave the prison. You two only exchange letters.

• Add hearts when he signs his letters.

• Man so alpha he sends YOU money.

• You two got married somehow.

• Has a tatto on his lip (that says Satoru).

Fushiguro Toji: Gypsy Sisters

• yes, he's the main star.

• He likes the job. He beats up the crap out of his brothers, his uncles, his little cousins, his servants, other clans and even Satoru when he crossed paths with him.

• If you tune TLC at 2AM on Saturdays you can see the episode where he beats the shit out of Naoya.

• His show gets 12 seasons and it's still on-going.

• Sometimes you can see Megumi in the background chilling with his phone.

• Idk why but he got into a fist fight with Yuuji. Sukuna had to step in. The twins got beaten and sent to the hospital.

Mei Mei: Owner

• Owns TLC.

Shoko Ieri: My Strange Addiction

• She collects Furbies.

• One looks very much like Satoru.

• She's on the FBI Suspect list.

• She might have helped Satoru, idk, i'm not a snitch.

Nanami Kento: Beat Bobby Flay

• The challenge was to make the best sanwhich.

• He didn't beat Bobby Flay.

• Also on FBI Suspect list.

• They think he helped Gojo rob the Pentagon.

• he did.

• shhh.

Fushiguro Megumi: Ghosted

• He ghosted Yuuji.

• But Yuuji wants to know why.

• In the reunion, Megumi tells Yuuji he ghosted him because he was snapchatting him too much

• They ended up together again.

• Barely speaks. Doesn't want to be there. Still think the extra cash is nice but he's now worried he might not get a job because he humillated himself publicly.

Yuuji Itadori: Ninja Warrior.

• He won.

Ryomen Sukuna: Catfish.

• He used Uraume's photos.

• He catfished Ijichi.

• He got money from Ijichi.

• He got gifts from Ijichi.

• He got money from Jogo.

• He got gifts from Jogo.

• Nev and Max first thought it was Hanami who was doing the catfish.

• Never got caught.

Kugasaki Nobara: 90 day fiance.

• She met someone overseas.

• Only interested in tourism and doesn't plan to follow through the 90 days.

• Only there for IG followers.

• She's already dating Maki behind the scenes.

• High key the cutest participant on the show ever

Zenin Maki: Ninja Warrior

• She won c:

Panda: NatGeo's Wild Life.

• I saw him there last week.

Inumaki Toge: The Bachelorette.

• He pranks everybody.

• The lady thinks he's the sweetest and funniest.

• The dudes hate him.

• He doesn't get the final rose.

• He gets a bunch of attention after the show and becomes more famous than the lady.

• fuck her. Now he's rich.

Aoi Todou: My Strange Addiction.

• For collecting way too much of Takada-chan's merch.

• He needed another HOUSE to fix so much sh1t.

Kamo Noritoshi, Choso, Miwa, Momo: an educational channel for kids.

• They have an educational channel together.

• Noritoshi hosts a show teaching about science.

• Choso's show is about values and the importance of family and friendship.

• Miwa has numerous shorts about physical education.

• Momo has a show about crafting.

• Comfort channel c':

Mai Zenin: Married by Mom and Dad.

• They stepped in so Naoya won't take her as a wife xd.

• They married her to a wealthy man overseas.

• Proceeds to become part of Housewives of Beverly Hills.

• Living her best life.

Yoshino Junpei: True Crime Show Host.

• He enjoys to report the weird shit that happened to his bullies afterwards.

• Good for him. Good for him.

Mahito: Investigation Discovery Special

• They made a whole 4 hour documentary about this bitch.

Okkotsu Yuuta: Love after Lockup

•He's dating Rika.

• She was convicting for 10 accounts of first degree murder, vandalism, armed robbery, selling illegal substances, exotic animal trafficking, and car theft.

• He says she's the love of his life.

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen shitpost #gojo satoru #geto suguru #fushiguro toji #fushiguro Megumi #itadori yuuji #ryomen sukuna #zenin naoya #zenin maki #kugasaki nobara #panda #ieri shoko #mahito #todou aoi #yoshino junpei #okkotsu Yuuta #inumaki to/ge

[andy-loves-corgis]

All of The Lights - Ch 9 (TRR AU)

Book: The Royal Romance

Pairing: lots of pining.

Rating: M (I can’t make them not curse I guess…).

Word count: ~ 4,000

Notes: I’m a bitch and I have no right to ask for forgiveness, only thank those who are still putting up with my bullshit!

WARNING: Read the Prologue! Every chapter has TWO timelines, Before (about a year before the Prologue) and After (two years after the prologue), if you don’t pay attention to that you might get confused!

Iris

And I would give up forever to touch you

BEFORE

There were voices muffled by the clatter of pans and cutlery at the kitchens, but somehow Savannah’s voice seemed to rise above all the noise pointing at the TV.

“Just look at her.”

Drake did, it was a sequence of pictures from the past couple of weeks, all the royal functions Riley attended alongside Liam, Leo, and Madeleine; the three women on the morning show were analyzing if Riley was there with Liam or just as a maid of honor for Madeleine. In each photo Riley sported her noble grin, he knew it was the fake one because when she smiled fully you could spot the smallest of dimples on her cheeks.

“She looks miserable.” Savannah continued looking for his reaction.

“No, she doesn’t” Drake brushed her off and finished his orange juice in one big gulp before getting up. “Riley is a big girl; she can make her own decisions.”

“Are you going already? I thought you didn’t have classes at all today”

“Well, first…” he kissed the top of her head “… I still work, and Liam texted me to meet him this morning.”

“Oh, because you’re soooooo important!” Savannah laughed rolling her eyes.

Drake pushed another croissant in his mouth and left the kitchens, feeling in the air that the cold was preparing to go away. The competition season would start soon, and he would hate to wake up in the early hours of the morning – as he used to during this events-, to cold weather. He spotted Liam with his black zip-up jacket waiting for him, with a couple of men from the Royal Guard; Drake took his time to pull up the sleeves of his hoodie.

“Hey. Thought you wanted to talk” Drake said greeting his friend.

“I need to blow off some steam, thought it would be good to go for a run. Are you out of shape?” Liam teased.

“As I remember, we did the Army training together, I was the fastest on our squad.”

“Nah, I let you win,” Liam said, and Drake laughed.

“Start running, then. Your highness.” Drake challenged him with a smirk.

After 20 laps, Drake notices signs of fatigue in Liam.

“Come on!” Drake teased, turning on his back but still running ahead of Liam.

“Jesus, what are you made of, Walker?” Liam laughed, throwing his head back almost in exhaustion.

“Whiskey and one-night-stands.” Drake laughed and stopped as soon as they reached their starting point, both leaning on the wall to even their breaths.

“Yeah, about that…” the prince took a big gulp of water from his bottle and turned to his best friend. “What happened at Leo’s bachelor party?”

Drake looked puzzled.

“Did you blackout?”

“No, not at all, actually” Drake knew Liam was trying to keep it cool, but he could see right through him. “You were alone with Riley for some time… did she say anything?”

“Liam, I spend a lot of time alone with Riley, I really can’t see your point…”

“Did something happen?” Liam wasn’t bothering to hide anymore.

Blinking a few times, Drake finally understood where the conversation was heading.

“I won’t bother to answer you, Liam.” Drake stopped leaning on the wall “Riley and I were friends since we were kids.”

“You know she’s completely off-limits, right? Even if we wore broken up, it’s Bro Code.” Liam tried to sound casual.

“Like when you slept with Erika?” the color was drained from Liam’s face when Drake finished his remark.

“You already know what happened” his answer was strained. “She was playing you and took advantage of the fact that I had too much to drink that night after a fight with Riley.”

Drake preferred to believe his longest friend.

“It doesn’t change the fact that I caught both of you naked in bed and never told Riley, that alone could remind you the WE are friends too.” Liam stayed silent after this. “I don’t know if my answer was enough for you, but I have work to do.”

“I… forget what I said, Riley has been weirdly good-behaved, she just makes me unsure…”

“That’s… your problem, Liam.

Drake shrugged and shook his head. He knew he shouldn’t give the literal back to the prince, but it wasn’t like he could handle another minute of awkwardness.

Concentrating was hard in the first hour, he kept reliving the moment where he opened the door of the room Erika was staying, how she was curled up on Liam’s chest. The surprised look on her face, from her to Liam; how she begged for forgiveness.

After three hours he figured he wouldn’t get any work done, so he decided to find Riley and see if she wanted a ride to Valtoria, he was scheduled to select the horses there for the next competition; he wasn’t surprised to find her along with Savannah at the dancing studio.

“I thought I smelled Tiger Balm,” he said as soon as he opened the door. “Should you be doing that already?”

Savannah was sitting on the ground with 3 pairs of ballet shoes and a sewing kit; Riley was right across her in a perfect split.

“You always liked the smell” Riley smiled dodging his question. “See… if you sew an elastic instead of silk, it will allow you more movements.”

“What are all these shoes?” Drake asked.

“Riley gave them to me so I could practice for the presentation” Savannah gave him a toothy grin.

Drake side-eyed Riley, the girl just clenched her jaw, sat back, and got up.

“Oh my, I just forgot I had to meet Maxwell… See you soon, bye!” Savannah exclaimed sensing the change in the atmosphere.

Drake waited until he heard the door closing behind his sister

“We had an agreement on gifts,” he said to her back as she pretended to look for something on her gym bag; he heard the clinking sound of her painkillers shaking in their bottle, she shouldn’t have been training so soon.

A long exhale followed.

“I bought them to myself, but it doesn’t seem like I’m going to wear them anytime soon, does it?” she was in a sour mood grabbing the orange bottle more forcefully than she should.

“I’ll count them as birthday gifts.”

“They are just fucking ballet shoes, Drake!” she turned with her jaw clenched, her blue eyes glimmering. “Helping Savannah is literally the only thing I’m holding onto right now.”

Her fists were balled on the side of her body and her whole frame was slightly shaking.

“Riley” Drake changed to a much softer tone. “Is everything alright?”

She closed her eyes for a second too long.

“Define ‘alright’.”

Drake didn’t say anything else, his hands just circled both of her upper arms and pulled her to his embrace, he felt in his chest as she inhaled and exhaled deeply, containing her tears. Even as a child, Riley hated crying in front of anyone.

“Hey, New York is just around the corner, ok?” Drake said and a sob escaped her mouth. “Soon you’ll be oceans away.”

Her sobbing was uncontrollable now.

“I’m not going.” Her voice was muffled by his chest.

“Wait… what happened?” he took a step back and his heart clenched at the sight of her watery eyes.

“I burned my acceptance letter two weeks ago, it was just bullshit, Drake. Everyone knows I can’t escape this place.” She forcefully wiped a tear that rolled down her cheek.

A small part of him, a part he would hardly acknowledge, was relieved to hear she wasn’t leaving; although, there was another part of him that was dying to see her like that. He always imagined Riley as an exotic bird inside a golden cage.

“You shouldn’t have done that!” he pulled her back to his arms and kissed the top of her head. “Things are going to be fine; I can’t tell you how, but they will, even if I have to make them be, ok?”

She sniffed on his chest.

“´k”

“Hey, let me take you back to Valtoria tonight, I’m headed there anyway” he moved back just a little to see her quickly drying her eyes.

“Yeah, that would be good, thanks.” She gave him a small smile.

“Be ready at 6 pm”

Drake left the room with a strange feeling at the pit of his stomach. Getting back to his office, he tried to concentrate on the paperwork for the next competition; stopping a little early than 6, he scrolled through his Instagram and something caught his attention, a smile spread on his face as he realized how he could lift Riley’s mood.

For some unknown reason, his legs were shaking while he waited for her outside his truck, it got worse once he saw her leaving the castle, wearing just jeans and no makeup on.

“Ready?” she asked, she sounded a little more cheerful than in the afternoon.

“Yeah” he opened the door and helped her hop in his Silverado.

As he drove far from the palace she seemed to relax, even more, concentrated on the changing blue sky as the night fell.

“We’ll need to stop somewhere first…” Drake started uncertain, regretting his words as soon as he said them.

“Where are we going?” she looked at him puzzled. “Are you gonna kill me and dispose of my body in the woods?”

Drake rolled his eyes and threw his cellphone on her lap.

“Sometimes I think I should…” he joked but stopped to study her face as a crease appeared between her brows.

“Are you serious?” she looked at him suspiciously. “Is this a prank? You would NEVER do this…”

“I can head right to Valt…”

“NO NO, we’re going” she reached for the steering wheel.

“You’re a danger even in the passenger seat, York” Drake pretended to slap her hand; he couldn’t help but smile at her excitement.

He parked his truck in front of the Wood Wheel and Riley hopped off the car like a child anxious to get into the park.

“Am I allowed to record?” she asked grinning.

“No” he stated, pulling his guitar from behind his seat. “I’m only doing this because I hate owing you.”

“Whatever you say, Walker…”

Getting inside, they were welcomed by the smell of Al’s greasy fries, loud chatter, and someone finishing a song on the makeshift stage at the right corner.

“Look if it isn’t my favorite costumer and again, he brought his girl that knows how to drink.” Al greeted them from the counter.

“Al doesn’t understand the term ‘friends’” he threw Riley an unapologetic look and she shrugged, making a beeline to the bar and grabbing a glass of wine for her and whisky for him.

“Drake’s gonna sing today!” Riley stated excited sitting on the stool.

“Oh, is he?” Al looked at him puzzled as Drake rested his guitar on the floor.

“I lost a bet” he mumbled grabbing his glass.

Al snorted, cleaning another glass.

“I have a free slot in half an hour, I’ll be waiting” Al mocked him.

After his second glass, he felt more at ease, especially after watching Riley chat cheerfully with Al, the remnants of her sadness not showing anymore.

“Ohhhh, it’s your turn, I’m so excited! I’ll get to check another one of the items on my bucket list for this year!” Riley clapped unable to contain her excitement.

Drake exhaled loudly and turned to grab his guitar when he felt Riley’s small hands on his biceps.

“Hey” her voice was hoarse, maybe for all the wine, she was drinking. “It’s going to be great.”

“It’s pretty packed, isn’t it?” Drake averted his eyes to all the occupied tables in front of the stage.

“It doesn’t matter, pretend it’s just us. Like we’ve done a hundred times”

He nodded and gulped despite all the encouragement from Riley.

Trying not to look at anyone on the tables, he silently sat on the stool with his guitar and adjusted his microphone.

“Hum, hello everyone. My name is Drake and I lost a bet.” The crowd laughed and brown eyes met ocean blue.

With a sigh, his fingers hit the strings.

I've been roaming around Always looking down at all I see Painted faces, fill the places I can't reach

You know that I could use somebody You know that I could use somebody

Someone like you, and all you know, and how you speak

 He tried to focus solely on his fingers hitting the strings, the hot light above him, muffling any sound of the crowd singing along, or the way his heart skipped a beat by his unconscious choice of song.

 Off in the night, while you live it up, I'm off to sleep Waging wars to shape the poet and the beat I hope it's gonna make you notice I hope it's gonna make you notice

Someone like me

 Although it wasn’t a matter of someone, more of a matter of somewhere, some other reality, because, in this one, this was just a song, it had to be just a song.

Drake finished the last notes with everyone in the bar singing along and clapping after he finished, completely flushed, and not from his whiskey.

“You were AMAZING!” Riley almost shrieked in excitement. “this was the best night EVER! God, I want to pee… wait a minute and we can go.”

Riley didn’t let him say anything before rushing to the bathroom.

“Your girlfriend is something else!” Al laughed pouring him some whisky.

“I’ve already told you, she’s not my girlfriend.” He drank half of his shot in a big gulp.

“Ok, but have you told her?” Al looked at him mischievously. “Because she was sitting right there where you are, looking at you like a lost puppy crazy to follow you home.”

“She’s not remotely interest… Hey York! Should we go?”

Riley was back with a half-drunk smile.

“Sure!”

The ride to Valtoria was peaceful, a recomforting silence with the radio buzzing old songs while Riley closed her eyes feeling the chilly night air on her face.

Drake parked his car on the west wing of her estate, where she could get inside by the kitchen door and he would be just a short walk from the staff’s rooms. He made sure to help her out of the car, not prepared to be that close to her.

“Thank you for this night” her voice was above a whisper.

“That’s what best friends are for” he winked and for a split of a second, he thought he saw her smile falter.

“Yeah you’re a great friend” she kissed his cheek for a second too long. “Good night, Drake.”

“Good night, Riley.”

He watched as she moved towards the entrance, turning to glance at him before entering, a pang in his chest hit him heard. He hoped he was having a heart attack.

AFTER

“No! You’re not putting any animal down without me saying so!” Drake almost shouted on the phone, Yanis, one of his assistants pretended he wasn’t witnessing the awkward moment. “You’re going to wait for me to get there then we talk. Bye!”

Drake almost threw his phone on the table and exhaled loudly.

“Sorry to keep you waiting, what happened?”

Yanis fidgeted on his seat.

“Hum, Lady Riley was here a while ago, she said she needed some files”

Shit, he forgot to hand them to her.

“Damn, if you see her, tell her I’ll have them delivered to her quarters today.

“She actually asked you to meet her at 3 pm, somewhere called South Wing.”

“Yeah, ok, anything else?” the boy just shook his head and got up as fast as he could.

Drake exhaled again; he didn’t want to scare the boy. He was one of the good ones sent from the company that now took care of the Royal horses.

He remembered how was to enter his office again after everything happened. Drake actually couldn’t remember how one thing led to another; how coming back from the hospital turned to join the taskforce against The Sons of Earth, then sharing a whiskey with Liam when they finally caught the bastards. Applying again for his job as an official Royal Veterinarian, now to a company, not Liam.

Everything got back to normal. Then she came back.

He gave up on his report and decided to do some handwork to pass the time.

 Riley’s back came into view as soon as his feet reached the grass; she seemed too absorbed by the view in front of her to notice Drake getting closer.

“Hey,” he said, and she was startled by his voice.

“Ohmygod… sorry, my mind was elsewhere.” She shook her head.

He followed her eyes to the window, they were facing the south wing of the castle, right beside the grand ballroom, the wing housed the conservatory and a dance studio, where right now a bunch of noble preteens were having a ballet class.

“Do you still dance?” Drake caught himself asking.

Riley chuckled and shook her head.

“I don’t dance at all.”

“At all? I pretty much saw you waltzing a couple of times since you came back.” She turned her head to face him and gave him half a smile.

“Waltzing is like shaking hands, you do it because you have to.”

“So, you’re telling me that you haven’t gone out clubbing in NY?” Drake questioned almost amused.

“Well, it was considered risky behavior for a person like me” she let the sentence hang in the air. “But yeah, I barely danced two songs in the past two years.” She shrugged like it was no big deal.

Drake stayed silent for long seconds, thinking through the sentence he wanted to say.

“You should do it; I know there’s a part of you dying to.”

He didn’t mean it to sound so personal, he just couldn’t help it; Riley blushed and looked at her feet before clearing her throat.

“Did you get her last address?” she changed the subject.

“Oh yeah, here it is” he offered her a folder with the little information he had gathered on Savannah’s whereabouts. “you’re not paying anything for it, right?”

“No, I beat up a PI at poker in New York and he owed me a favor for letting him go in his car.” She laughed to herself.

“Why does this story sound so much like bullshit?”

“His name is Damien Nazario, he was there with his girlfriend and another weird couple, you can look up for him online.” She smirked, “And for the record, I’m really good at poker.”

“So… poker wasn’t risky behavior?”

“We need to beat our vices one at a time, Walker” she laughed a little more truthfully. “So… that was another thing I wanted to talk to you about.”

Drake tensed.

“I went to the Wood Wheel yesterday and ended up bumping on Cassidy” Drake’s stomach clenched and Riley blushed from the awkwardness of the situation “Sorry, I didn’t know she was your girlfriend, she seems really nice though… hum, I obviously didn’t say anything and…”

She started twisting her fingers.

“And…?”

Riley sighed and leaned on the window,

“Look, I know it’s too much to ask, but no one never knew we were together…” it was almost painful to have the words together thrown at him. “well, aside from some people in the court… but, we could pretend it never happened so I wouldn’t lose my favorite bar.”

“You want me to lie to my girlfriend?” Drake rose a brow to her.

“No, I’m just asking for you not to blatantly tell her” he held his gaze on her shameful eyes. “Look, Wood Wheel is the only place I can drink without being bothered by people knowing me or paparazzi showing up. If she asks you, you do what you want to do, but think for a moment that we can bury whatever happened to us and just move on. This is the perfect chance.”

Whatever happened to us. Ouch.

“Okay… It’s not like I would want her to find out.”

Riley nodded not looking directly at him.

“Well… I got to go and email this stuff to Damien; I’ll tell you as soon as he gives me a lead.” Riley tried to brush off the awkwardness with a half-smile.

“Okay” Drake silently answered.

Returning to his office he got his phone back, noticing there were a couple of calls from Cassidy.

“Hey, Cass,” he said as soon as she picked up.

“Hey, Drake! How’s your day going?”

“Pretty normal, how about you?”

“Well…” she started and he heard the sound of the pans behind her. “the Chef is a little moody today, but the movement is low, not many tourists, so I’m now consuming Cordonian gossip.

“Oh… why?”

“I mean, in Greece we don’t have an ‘active’ Royal Family, sometimes I even forgot they existed, but here they are like celebrities.”

“Hum” Drake huffed not wanting to get to this conversation so soon. “Most of them are just assholes with money.”

“About that… Is ‘Lady Bitch’ related to Riley York?”

There it was.

“Yes, she’s her mother. Why?”

“Oh, I met Lady Riley yesterday… at Wood Wheel.” She finished like it was a surprise to find the noble there. “It seems like Al knows her, he even let her go out for a smoke with a glass on her hands.”

“I saw her there a couple of times in the past, before…. The whole thing”

Before I pulled her half-dead body from the ocean.

“Do you know her? She dated Prince Liam, you’re friends with him, right?”

“Yeah, I know her, everyone kind of know each other, is a small circle.”

That was safe.

“Hope she comes back to the bar when is our night, she looks like she tips well.” She laughed and he tried to follow. “Oh, I gotta go, Matt is calling me. Bye!”

“Bye…”

The rest of his shift was spent reliving the conversation.

He exhaled loudly. Drake didn’t like lying, and it felt like he was lying all the time, even if Cassidy would never think about Riley and him being anything but acquaintances; if he was being true to himself, he had been feeling close to suffocating ever since Riley came back, things were simpler then, now everything was gray, except for one of those exotic blue-ish flowers that always caught his eyes on the way back to his room.

Not even the chilly air of the garden was calming his nerves, then he noticed a light that wasn’t supposed to be there, the south wing was usually dark by that time at night, the only other times he recalled someone using it at was way back…

When Riley still danced.

He stopped dead in tracks near the window, watching as she executed a triple spin, only to stumble on her feet; he could see her frustration, her brows joined as some strands of hair fell from her bun to her face. Giving up, she sat on the floor and started to untie her shoes, she gave a long sigh when the music coming from the speakers changed drastically.

The sweet strings from Dramarama’s cover filled the room; she looked as surprised as him, they used to hear that song at full volume in his car right when he started driving. Now barefoot on the wooden floor, she got up and started to shake her shoulders timidly, then her hips followed… her legs and her arms.

 Do you wanna eat? Do you wanna sleep? Do you wanna drown?

Just settle down, settle down, settle down.

I’ll give you candy, give you diamonds, give you pills

I’ll give you anything you want. Hundred-dollar bills.

The song related morbidly to her, but it seemed to give her strength, totally lost on the beat; jumping around and biting her lips she untied her hair and let it fall loose shaking her head.

It was when a full-blown smile took over her face, with dimples and all.

Seeing those little dimples on the corner of her mouth as she smiled to the roof with her head thrown back, swaying hips and arms, he remembered why storms were named after people.

.

I just love you guys!

@saivilo​; @kimmiedoo5​; @pug-bitch​; @bee1arw​; @laurmillen​; @axwalker​​; @world-of-dreams-and-muse​; @rtinaz​​; @iplaydrake​​; @notoriouscs​​; @mind-reader1​​; @annekebbphotography​​; @walkerismychoice​​;  @tmarie82; @blackwidow2721; @thequeenchoices; @missameliep; @jovialyouthmusic; @perksof-everything; @choicesmacmakes; @carabeth @drakenazario; @drakesensworld; @moneyfordiamonds; @ao719; @lynne1993; @ilovedrakewalker23; @msjpuddleduck; @drakewalkerisreal; @violinist3121; @wannabemc2; @gibbles82; @furiousherringoperatortoad; @jens-diamondchoices; @rainbowsinthestorm​; @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore; @emceesynonymroll; @addictedtodrakefanfic; @texaskitten30; @dcbbw; @i-bloody-love-drake-walker; @mom2000aggie;

#drake x mc #Riley York #liam x mc #all of the lights #trr au #maxwell beaumont #hana lee #the royal romance fan fiction

[bytesnbolts]

Headcanons: Thoughts/Feelings on Humans

Nanostorm - finds the humans to be interesting and admires their bravery; has an easier time forming relationships with humans than they do with other Cybertronians, but still worried they will hurt the humans. Very, very careful about where they step; oblivious to flirting.

Nitroxide - is fascinated by human technology and the humans that make it; hangs out around engineers, scientists, and inventors; wants to help by sharing technological knowledge; wants to be a voluntary first-responder because she gets upset when humans are injured in disasters or accidents; flattered by flirting, but rarely flirts back.

Solar Pax - thinks the humans are alright “for a primitive species”; heavily invested in their romantic pursuits; willing to read all drafts of novels or other media and give a critical analysis; niche interest in humans with prosthetic limbs; human media junkie; dislikes being flirted with.

Powerhouse - TEENY TINY NEW FRIENDS! Will not hear anything bad said about the humans; very supportive of the humans in their endeavors; lets the tinier humans use her frame for a jungle-gym while in alt mode; hangs out with engineers and construction crews; Flirts.

Starprowler - will never admit that she finds the humans kind of cute, but still distrusts them; pack-bonds with solitary and rough personalities; extremely protective of her favorite humans; is nervous of the tiniest humans and their grabby hands; gets flustered by flirting.

Nightsiren - dotes on Their Human, but also changes Their Human out every few weeks. Tries to not be too rough on the humans, but sometimes accidentally knocks them over. Can’t stand bureaucrats or authorities, but has respect for the “free-spirited/loose-canon” types; Flirts. 

Shamble - would rather offline than admit he likes the humans, but is “Grandpa” now to all the humans; enjoys listening to and telling stories to the humans; tries to fix any broken items given to him; no, most of them can’t ride on him; get flustered from flirting.

Crux and Flux - treats humans like they would other Cybertronians; really into fashionable humans; always taking pictures of humans they meet; tries to sneak into human parties; empathy for college students; flirty.

Requiem - Doesn’t step in to protect humans unless other bots are around; is distrusting; spooks them for his own amusement; sometimes uses humans for his own gains; flirts when it suits him.

Fireball - wants to sell the humans for exotic pets; shows up to every street racing circuit she can find; respects some humans for their rebelliousness and criminal activities; scams humans through the internet; really digs the humans’ car-washes; flirts when it suits her.

Dealbreaker - human media junkie; human enthusiast, but those with pets are his favorite; likes to play pranks and borrow items from humans; makes friends with waste management/junkyard/warehouse workers; sometimes injures humans or breaks things on accident in his excitement; flirts.

#Equipped with HCs

[vinylhazza]

81 Reasons To Live

so. because i am annoying. and i need to be my own savior sometimes. here are 81 reasons to stay alive that i chant to myself every single night. literally every night. hope this helps someone else too. this is very personal to me and some things might not apply to you and i didn’t think i would ever show anyone but fuck it. some of these are from my “list” i made when i was 15. maybe one day i’ll show you that list too. if anyone ever feels the way i felt last night - this is for you my love.

see the first female president

hear your favorite song one last time

finish that drawing you’ve been meaning to

the moon is just too pretty to never see again, she feels your loneliness, lean into her instead of running

try all of the pop-tart flavors

Adele making her 27th album

go to a pride parade for the first time

go to paris (again)

your wedding

meeting your soulmate

finding out if aliens exist

will the U.S. fall to shit? oh wait...already did. but will it get better?

seeing what all of your friends end up doing with their lives

finish writing your fanfictions

helping people when the U.S. falls to shit/helping people rebuild

pulling a successful prank

puns. that’s it. just puns.

having a child and showing them every movie you’ve ever loved

getting your very own dog and understanding for once that you most certainly do have more love in your heart than you thought

doing pranks on your own husband with your child

eating a lot of pancakes

going skinny dipping

discovering/eating more exotic food

hold the face of someone you love and realize that for once you’re right where you need to be.

seeing gay marriage legal in all countries

going to a film festival

go to the oscars

go to Shakespeare in the park

overcoming your anxiety

sneaking out of the house

jam sessions in your car

getting tattoos. so fuckin’ many of em. ink that shit up.

bad things and situations have an expiration date just like the good times. they never last. have patience. one bad day comes, a good one is sure to follow it.

3am talks

sunsets - all of the vibrant colors. know that the world can be more than the darkness that surrounds you.

fall scented candles

chubby babies

late night drives with the windows down, wind blowing your air, the smell of the trees, the grass, the universe falling in line before you on the road. let yourself feel that. let yourself appreciate it. it doesn’t have to be just a drive. so sing that song as loud as you want, dance in that car seat, laugh about an old memory you just remembered about that restaurant on the side of the road. ignore the weird looks. we’re learning how to live again.

the smell and feel of happiness while standing by the ocean

hearing the rain through an open window

wrapping up in blankets fresh out of the dryer

taking baths while listening to music with candles that smell like comfort and thoughts that are silent for once

that feeling in the air on halloween and christmas

looking out the window on a plane and seeing how soothing it is that we are at least a little bit connected even if it feels different on the inside

the feeling of opening up packages

planning the interior of your home

days when everything seems to have a blanket of quiet and calm

the smell of tea/coffee

pens that glide across paper

matte lipstick. do i need more of an explanation? didn’t think so.

using brand new mascara

cold winter weekends when you stay inside, watch the snow fall, and watch an old movie you used to love when you were seven and didn’t know the world was about to royally fuck you over

girls night with popcorn, coffee, and cheesy romance movies

the feeling of someone lightly running their fingers over your skin

having someone play with your hair

big sweaters/hoodies

doing your eyebrows perfectly

looking at the stars and knowing that infinity doesn’t have to be so scary, it can be beautiful too

blooming into that woman your younger self would look up to

genuine laughter

seeing people in love out in public

bookstores on a cloudy day

the unique essence that comes with each season, and how the world and community changes around you just the way it should.

pretty perfume bottles

the smell of a bonfire in the beginning of fall

wearing heeled shoes and feeling like a badass

dim fairy lights with the curtains closed during the day

see stevie nicks in person, feel the way you felt the first time you heard Rhiannon and actually understood the lyrics

harry styles has saved you too many times for you to give up like that. make him proud. treating people with kindness means treating yourself with kindness too.

watching leaves fall

writing poetry

sleepy grins

the smell of rain

the sudden burst of light from lightning, how it zaps and flickers with power and purpose

the little squeeze people give you when you’ve been holding hands in church and the priest says “amen”

watching someone that doesn’t normally laugh, laugh until they fall over

gentle wind chimes

listening to aesthetically pleasing songs and getting that tingly feeling inside of you

morning mist in untouched meadows

finding a new succulent when you least expect it

you need to give yourself a try, and it would be unfair to just leave when you haven’t let yourself experience life yet. you haven’t done all the things you’ve wanted to do, seen what you want to see, contributed what you want to. just fucking stay. stay. stay. stay. if not for yourself, for the moments life will bring you if you just keep holding on.

#81 reasons to live #this helps me #hope it helps you too #also had a fic idea about this #and it’s really cute

[blackjack-15]

Leavin’ on a Jet Pack — Thoughts on: The Haunting of Castle Malloy (HAU)

Previous Metas: SCK/SCK2, STFD, MHM, TRT, FIN, SSH, DOG, CAR, DDI, SHA, CUR, CLK, TRN, DAN, CRE, ICE, CRY, VEN

Hello and welcome to a Nancy Drew meta series! 30 metas, 30 Nancy Drew Games that I’m comfortable with doing meta about. Hot takes, cold takes, and just Takes will abound, but one thing’s for sure: they’ll all be longer than I mean them to be.

Each meta will have different distinct sections: an Introduction, an exploration of the Title, an explanation of the Mystery, a run-through of the Suspects. Then, I’ll tackle some of my favorite and least favorite things about the game, and finish it off with ideas on how to improve it. Like with all of the Odd Games, there will be a section between The Intro and The Title called The Weird Stuff, where I go into what makes this game stand out as a little strange.

If any game requires an extra section or two, they’ll be listed in the paragraph above, along with links to previous metas.

These metas are not spoiler free, though I’ll list any games/media that they might spoil here: HAU, mention of DAN.

The Intro:

Yup, this is the jetpack banshee game.

Honestly, that’s probably the best introduction to this game. It’s semi-famous among the fandom for just being balls-to-the-wall nuts, and for good reason; while HAU isn’t quite as confused as some of the other Odd games, it’s definitely less organized, and there’s very little story to tell here.

And the story that is there? Well, we’ll cover that in The Weird Stuff.

The Haunting of Castle Malloy falls near the end of the Odd Games, and honestly it more than deserves its place. Sure, we’re in a different, ‘exotic’ location like…well, most of the Odd Games, but it’s not like it really matters, as Nancy sees very little of Ireland. A car drive, a brief interlude outside of a pub, and the weirdest outside interface ever seen in a Nancy Drew game (even being reused in the next game briefly), and for all of that we might as well be in the Florida swamps.

Let’s not even mention the teetotaler pub. The less said about that, the less silly that this game comes off. Everyone in Ireland drinks a tall, frothy cup of Juice when they want to relax.

Sigh. Honestly, HER. Just skip the pub entirely.

HAU is also a game that tries to contextualize itself in Nancy’s past, but doesn’t do a very good job about it. It’s not inside reference-y like Secret of the Old Clock, but it’s also not grounded in character like…well, all of the Nancy games (ASH through SPY). It just springs in the ‘hey remember this character you’ve never heard about nor had referenced because we made her up whole cloth for this game’ little mechanic and tries to whisk the player away with it.

Consider me unwhisked.

And maybe that’s the biggest problem – or rather, the biggest signifier – of The Haunting of Castle Malloy: it relies on whirling the player away in the Sights and Sounds and Juices of Ye Olde Greene Eire, but instead…well, it doesn’t have the power to whirl the player. It doesn’t even have the body to muss the player’s hair when the wind comes around.

HAU is very little like its source material; in fact, really the only thing that the book and game have in common is that they’re both set in Ireland, and that the mystery involves Nancy’s friends. Sure, in the book it’s Bess and George, rather than an obscure, hitherto-unknown exchange student, but since there’s nothing else, we’ll give them points for it.

The majority of this meta (and the majority of this game) falls under the weird stuff designation, so let’s pop on over and talk about what makes HAU truly odd.

The Weird Stuff:

The entire premise of this game isn’t too far off the mark of normal – Nancy’s summoned to help a family friend, which is the case for quite a few Nancy Drew games (more than the opposite, I believe, at this point in the series) — but it does stand out a bit that she’s going to be in a wedding as a maid of honor.

While I could see it for Bess/George, Hannah (which would be fun) or Ned (which is my personal headcanon), it’s a bit odd that this is a character we’ve never heard of who considers Nancy her closest female acquaintance. You’re telling me Kyler got through elementary, middle, high, and University without making a single friend other than the weird little kid she knew while studying in River Heights?

That’s weird enough to get a section by itself, but it’s not even scraping the surface of this game.

Going deeper, our predominant theme/conflict/effery in this game is a convoluted love triangle between the bride, groom, and their best friend (who for some reason isn’t involved with like anything with the wedding, regardless of the fact that he should be doing at least as much as Nancy is doing, and possibly more since he’s an actual friend of the couple), with Kit still being in love with Kyler (for some unimaginable reason) yet friends with Matt. Kit, notably, doesn’t really do anything about it, but just having that plotline being our main thread is a super weird choice, honestly.

This is also a story about marriage troubles; sure, they haven’t officially tied the knot yet, but the fact that Kyler thinks that her fiancé disappearing the night before their wedding is a “classic Matt prank” and not either something deeply worrying or a sign that he’s too immature for a commitment is a Huge Yikes.

Best case scenario and he’s playing a prank…does he think people won’t take this as a bad sign, that early-arriving guests won’t freak out, that this won’t cause any problems?

And worst case, he’s been kidnapped (the truth of course being even dumber than that), and the first 48 hours after a kidnapping are the most crucial, meaning that Kyler’s inaction could result in a death that didn’t have to happen on her watch.

What I think HER really didn’t think about was the implications of this setup. Either way, it doesn’t just look bad for Matt and/or Kyler (to say nothing of Kit), it looks bad for their future.

We have no faith that these two are actually interested in each other, let alone in love and committed to this relationship. Nancy, famously deaf to emotions like this, doesn’t really make any comments about how this bodes ill, but the player is bound to think that something’s not quite right if these two people are so mismatched.

In a slightly less uncommon theme for the Nancy Drew series, this is also a game about unrequited love. Let’s face it, for the majority of the game the only suspect really is Kit, since Donal isn’t big enough to kidnap Matt, and it’s a Nancy Drew game, so Matt definitely isn’t out there playing a very poorly timed prank on his bride to be. Kit even has suspicious documents (the land drawings) and such that add up to him wanting Matt out of the way, even without his unrequited love schtick with Kyler.

Honestly, how two people were in love with that chick is just…it boggles the mind, honestly. What is appealing at all about Kyler? Her weird hair? The fact that it looks like she’s wearing a green dress the whole game only to have it be pants? Her bland personality? Awful voice? The way she looks in the weird photographs in the game?

Sorry for the digression, but I am struggling here.

The last section within this section will talk about the thing that’s by far the oddest conceptionally in this game – the banshee/jetpack storyline. Most of the time when it’s a folk/faerie story in these games, it turns out to be not true, and that’s still the case here. To have it not be a banshee, but instead be a senile, badly mentally damaged old woman flying around on a jetpack from World War II, on the other hand…that stretches the limits of believability to where it would have been better to just have it be a banshee.

Fiona and her backstory and her jetpack are pretty much the oddest pieces, with none of them actually fitting into the larger themes of the story. Our backstory in this game — WWII Ireland and its scientific achievements — isn’t integrated at all with the present day, dethroning previous WWII-focused backstory game Danger by Design for ‘least related backstory’ award, and it’s not justified at all within the story or characters either.

The Title:

As far as titles go, “The Haunting of Castle Malloy” isn’t bad at all; it’s fairly standard, slightly pulpy Nancy Drew fare, and certainly better than the title of its book inspiration (“The Bike Tour Mystery”, so named because Nancy et al go on a bike tour in the book). It tells you the “what” (haunting) and “where” (Castle Malloy), and is fairly evocative.

I really just have a problem with it being the title of this game. Not only is the Castle not really relevant — sure, it’s where the game takes place, but it’s not important to the game outside a conversation or two — within the story, but the game doesn’t really pull off the ‘haunting’ side either. It’s established pretty early on that there are weird lights and sounds, but that’s about it.

If you want to keep the location, “The Banshee of Castle Malloy” I feel like would have been a better choice, as it tells us right away we’re dealing with Irish mythology, and shows it’s supposed to be a Haunting game (no matter how poorly it pulls that off) without any excess fuss. It’s also a little more specific, which is generally a good move to make the title more interesting — like how “The Shadow in the Fog” is better than just “The Shadow” as a title.

HAU’s title seems to be solidly in the middle of Nancy Drew titles, so there’s not much more to say about it. Let’s move on to the mystery it somewhat, but not completely, speaks of.

The Mystery:

Nancy’s been summoned overseas again, but this time it’s for pleasure, rather than business. An exchange student that Nancy and Carson housed for a few months is getting married, and wants Nancy to be her maid of honor.

And no, I have no idea why Carson wasn’t invited. Way to snub the man who fed and housed you, but invite his daughter (who was 14 at the time Kyler knew her) to hold one of the most important places in the wedding.

Anyway, by the time Nancy arrives — the night before the wedding; bad form Nancy — the groom — Matt Simmons — is missing, which Kyler suspects is a practical joke (as Matt has a reputation for pulling pranks) and Donal, the caretaker of the Castle, thinks is a sign of being kidnapped by faeries for the crime of being English and marrying an Irishwoman.

Out of the many crimes of the English, I don’t think this one ranks enough with the Fae to merit a stepping-in, but hey, what do I know about crudely-drawn stereotypes in a HER game. I’m sure they did all of the possible research, talked to experts about Irish mythology, spent about 5 minutes on the Wikipedia article for “banshee”…at least one of those.

The only other person on the Castle grounds is Kit Foley, Matt and Kyler’s friend — and Kyler’s unrequited admirer. A land developer, he’s literally the most suspicious person at the castle by being the only one actually in the castle and by holding the (honestly reasonable) opinion that Matt just got cold feet and left.

Once Nancy finds Matt’s broken glasses and Kyler mentions that he’s blind without them, however, the race is on to find Matt — who definitely couldn’t have broken a spare/fake pair of glasses as part of the prank, shush you — before the wedding the next day. What should have been a grueling search takes an hour or so, and they find out that he accidentally fell in a secret passage and got trapped there, being fed carrots and potatoes by the resident crazy woman like he was a blind, helpless rabbit.

Yeah.

As a mystery…I mean, is this even a mystery??? What honestly went on in the pitch room that day? “We’re gonna write about fidelity, unrequited love, the stress of a wedding, a friendless woman who invites an 18-year-old because she never made any friends…and a crazy old woman with ties to World War II. And a jetpack.”

I don’t even know how I would begin to rate this mystery. Bad? Because that’s honestly the word that comes to mind. I’m never a fan of “oh it was all a Hilarious accident, ho ho ho” endings to mysteries, and this one is worse than most. Nothing follows, the backstory is such a non-entity it really doesn’t bear spelling out, and the characters aren’t even a little likable. This section could delve into each problem with the mystery but, honestly, that sounds exhausting and I’m gonna go over the bigger points below anyway, so let’s get to the clowns that make up this circus.

The Suspects:

Beginning with Kyler Mallory, our bride to be who, for some reason, has her hair and tiara done the night before the wedding — I guess she’s not planning on sleeping? — is searching for her prankster groom to “teach him a lesson” and so he knows that once they’re married, “no more pranks ever”.

Sounds like she loves him dearly and wouldn’t change a thing, huh. If that wasn’t worrying enough, she’s not super fussed that he’s disappeared the night before their wedding, and considers it a “Classic Matt” sort of thing to do.

As a culprit – man that would have been a dark turn, to have her kidnap/hide away Matt to teach him a lesson about not pulling pranks. It, of course, would have made a friendly acquaintance of Nancy’s into a bad guy, and that’s a huge No-No for HER, but it would have been kinda cool all the same.

Kyler’s groom is Matt Simmons, an Englishman who is decidedly unwelcome in Ireland (at least, according to Donal) and who has a strong reputation for being a little too heavy on the pranks — so much so that when he disappears, his own fiancée just thinks it’s another prank. To be fair to her, he did disappear while pulling a very sad little prank on her, so she wasn’t entirely off base.

As a culprit…how would that even work? That would be like FIN’s Maya kidnapping herself for no purpose whatsoever. Matt isn’t really given any character beats other than “prankster” and “fed like a rabbit”, so there’s really not much to speculate on here. I do wonder what Kyler sees in him…but then again, I also wonder what he (and Kit) see in Kyler, so we have that as well.

Next up is the couple’s friend Kit Foley, who’s sporting an enormous shiner to the wedding courtesy of a wayward branch (and a bit of karma) that smacked him while he and Matt were pranking Donal. He’s in love with Kyler (why????) but seems happy enough for his friends, and is of the opinion that Matt simply got cold feet and left.

Not sure why you’d be friends with someone who’d do that, but no one in this game has any character at all, so we’ll blow past it.

A land developer, Kit is basically the only suspect and yet a terrible suspect at the same time. Sure, he’s in love with Kyler (again, why???), but he also doesn’t really gain anything from them not getting married, just like he doesn’t gain anything from them getting married. I never thought I’d see the day where a brooding best friend is so…unaffected by the marriage of his long-time crush, but that just goes to show you how little depth even Kit — who somehow has the most depth of any character — really has.

Finally, Donal Delaney is the caretaker of Castle Malloy, and a firm believer in the Fae. He’s also really the only Irishman in the cast, which isn’t a great look for HER. He thinks that the Fae have taken Matt in return for being in Ireland and sleeping in the old nursery room in the castle, and is easily frightened.

Seriously, that’s his whole character.

As a culprit…as much as Donal is grumpy, he’s not really any sort of entity as a suspect. He hangs out at the pub, drinks fruit juice, and talks about the Fae, and that’s the extent of his involvement in the plot. The most importance he gets is inadvertently being the source of Kit’s black eye, and that’s so tertiary to the plot that it might as well not be there.

The Favorite:

Even though this game is, by all accounts, a ridiculous non-entity, there are a small amount of things that I do like.

I’m actually a fan of the opening sequence; it’s like a better version of CUR’s opening, has Nancy crashing her car (always fun) while telling Ned she’s not gonna crash (even more fun), and she doesn’t show up right away at the castle. Honestly, the first about 10 minutes of the game are actually solid, and more fun than the rest of the game as a whole. So that probably qualifies as my favorite moment in the game, spliced with the revelation that Matt has been subsisting on raw carrots and potatoes, which is just…honestly unimaginably funny.

My favorite puzzle is the seating chart for the wedding. Veterans of this meta series (all 5 of you) will know that my favorite types of puzzles are word and logic puzzles, and this is a great logic puzzle. I honestly could have done an hour of that puzzle and been happy as a clam. It really stands out as, well, the only fun I had during the majority of the game, but it was honest fun.

The Un-Favorite:

And then, on the other hand…

There’s a lot about this game that isn’t great, but almost none of it do I hate; there’s just not enough effort for me to hate it.

Except the background setting.

Having already done WWII as a backstory, HER really should have thought twice about returning to it only five games later. With Brendan Malloy developing fuel for armored vehicles, only stopped by it exploding in his (and everyone’s) faces in 1944…honestly, there’s no reason that this game’s backstory should take place in World War II, other than to have a reasonable chance of Fiona still being alive. It also makes it seem like ‘oh the War really didn’t touch Ireland that much hahahaha” which isn’t a great look either.

Honestly, HER’s treatment of Ireland is pretty ‘un-favorite’ here, but since HER never really does a good job handling any country (or most states outside the Pacific Northwest), it’d be fairly pointless to begin talking about it at length now.

My least favorite moment is probably the reveal of the culprit/mystery at the end; it’ so anti-climactic, honestly, and only comes after much struggle through two very stupid puzzles. It doesn’t give any meaning to the game, no one learns any lessons, and — probably unpopular opinion here — it probably would have been better for everyone involved (including Fiona) if Fiona would have died in that explosion 60+ years ago.

My least favorite puzzle would actually be the two puzzles at the very end — the chemicals and the rocket ship. The chemical puzzle is the worst offender, but both are pointless, do nothing for the story, and really feel like they’re there because Nancy Drew games have to have a puzzle at the very end. Putting something into a game because you ‘have’ to is never good, and this is a prime example of how annoying that obligation can truly be.

The Fix:

So how would I fix The Haunting of Castle Malloy?

The first thing I’d say is that, despite the games in the Nancy Drew series often containing one, I don’t really think the HAU needs a historical backstory. If you must give something to the Castle and the explosion, set it back in World War I, which would at least be something different.

But honestly, it’d be better to just get rid of it entirely. It’s old, it’s a castle, it’s in ruins, move on. The present has enough potential for drama without mucking up the past.

The second thing I would do is to take out Fiona entirely. Sure, still have the legend of the banshee going around the area, but it’s all things that are (mostly) easily explained, like in most haunting games. Figures in the fog? That’s just grounds crew who have been working for months to prep the site for the wedding. Strange lights? Well, yeah, the castle wouldn’t be wired for electricity if it’s been abandoned, so the workers have to bring in their own lights. Screaming noises? That’s just pre-marital jitters. Or something; you get my point.

As in all haunting games, have one or two unexplained things to suggest that the banshee actually was real, mourning the “death” of the last Malloy — because Kyler’s taking Matt’s name, or some other such nonsense. The sad thing is that it doesn’t really matter; anything that adds meat to the story would be an improvement on such a nothingburger of a game.

I would also bring in Alan, the best man, as more than a phone contact. Let’s face it, only having Kit and Donal as suspects (as Matt’s gone and Kyler doesn’t even pretend to count for a second) is really stupid, and this game needs some more detail and at least an hour more of playtime that doesn’t just involve getting lost in the bog.

Bring in Alan who is confused as to why he was chosen as best man, but suspects it’s because Kyler also has feelings for Kit and thus didn’t want Matt to choose him to be the Best Man (in other words, take out the weird social climbing angle). It would take a subtle hand, but I actually wouldn’t mind Alan having a bit of a thing for Matt himself, just to re-emphasize the “love is like an Egyptian painting; everyone is looking at the back of someone’s head” sort of theme we’ve got going on in this game.

The last thing I’d do is to bring Ned in, and have him be in the car with Nancy on their way. Think of it; usually wedding guests get a plus one; it would be a good excuse for Nancy to ask Ned out rather than leaving him behind as per usual, and Ned would probably be able to relate to Kit/Alan better than Nancy can, on account of Ned having actual emotional intelligence.

I wouldn’t say to have him be player-controlled, but I think Ned hanging around the castle, trying to help out with the emotional snarl that the guys have gotten themselves into (with Nancy focusing more on Donal and Kyler) would not only be in character, but would be a great way to make room for some emotional depth — something that Nancy herself, if not the games, usually skirts around or ignores entirely.

Would these changes fix the game completely and make it a winner? No, I don’t think so. I think the game is too structurally weak to really ever rise above mid-level, and possibly not even lower mid-level. But I think, along with some sprucing up of motivations and puzzles, these changes could help make HAU better than it is — and that’s worth it, no matter if it makes it into the Top 10 Nancy Drew Games list or not.

#nancy drew #clue crew #nancy drew games #the haunting of castle malloy #HAU #nancy drew meta #my meta #long post

[exoticbitties]

BIG BONES (adoption profile)

Big Bones (or BB for short) are the first type of bitty to come to Exotic Bitties. In fact, they are the reason that the shop was founded!

+++DESCRIPTION+++

Big Bones are Sans-types that clock in at about three stories tall give or take. They dress in simple clothes made from large fabrics like tarps and tents but somehow always seem to be able to acquire a pair of large track shorts and comfy slippers. They possess all the abilities a Sans does naturally. There are not very many Big Bones.

+++PERSONALITY+++

Big Bones are very similar to Classic Sans in that they are chatty layabouts who love to joke and always keep their promises. Some Big Bones will dote on their care-taker the way a human might fawn over their own bitties--this includes picking you up and putting you in his pocket or hood. Others may act aloof as though they simply cannot hear or feel their care-taker's pleas for attention.

When it comes to jokes, Big Bones naturally like to go big. They may replace your mattress with a whoopee-cushion or put your car on the roof.

On the rare occasion that two Big Bones meet, they may challenge one another to a prank-off so maybe make sure that only happens under very strict supervision.

When interacting with other bitties, although they may have trouble seeing them or hearing their voices, they are indescribably careful and will protect them from harm.

+++CARE+++

Big Bones prefer to live in the country with lots of space. They need a big barn to protect them from the elements. If left out in the snow and rain, they may catch cold and sneeze the roof off of your house.

Their preferred food is pumpkins. If left too much to their own devices, Big Bones may develop a habit of causing trouble or a vice for smoking.

To keep a Big Bones occupied and happy, provide them with puzzles and ask them to help you with big jobs. It makes them feel important. It may be difficult to convince them to actually do the job, but that's part of the game. They like knowing that they are needed.

#bittybones #bittybones au #bitty bones #bitty bones au #bitty shop #big bones #profile

[lumiereandcogsworth]

Has Maurice, at any age, ever found and harbored a stray/wild animal? 👀

i feel i need to clarify for other followers that this is about my oc adam and belle’s son. not belle’s dad. shdjjdkdk

but on the topic of papa maurice. now that he’s living the fancy life in the castle. he definitely gets a pet bird! like a cockatoo or a parrot or some exotic bird very rare for france or the eighteenth century. and he just Loves painting him. like, he becomes his MUSE. he’s so pretty !!!!!!!! anyway that’s canon now.

back to our favorite chaos child!!!! 

this is a hilarious concept and the short answer is YES

a barn cat that he named athena cuz he thinks greek mythology is cool and that the goddess of war kicks ass

she’s a very sneaky gal and only loves maurice. like she wanders all over the castle and it takes everyone WEEKS to realize she’s living there

belle notices her and Knows it was her son who brought her in but she doesn’t say anything cuz that’s literally how they got their dog so all she thinks is ah i raised him well

renée rolls her eyes and tells maurice several times to take athena back outside and maurice responds by purposefully waking up hella early just to take athena and place her in renée’s room so she wakes up with this dirty barn cat in her face every day and she’s LIVIDDDD it’s one of his best pranks

juliette and athena have a calm understanding. if athena is cool with anyone else besides maurice, it’s juliette

adam is literally the last to realize the cat’s presence and he’s like oh my gosh Not This Again and he makes maurice promise to clean her every now and then

and maurice is like dad she’s a cat they clean themselves and adam is like i literally don’t care if she goes through her own damn car wash. clean her once a week or move out

#i think this is the most in character thing ive ever posted about them #fabulous ask my friend #batb headcanons #oc writing #long post #adventures of athena the cat #athena

[juliandevwhoreak]

Modern Arcana AU HCs Part 5: Julian Edition

More than three years ago, Vesuvia found itself in the iron grip of a highly contagious and lethal plague. The Oculorubrumvirus, more commonly known as The Red Eye Virus, was thought to coincide with the sudden introduction of an invasive species of red-colored beetle not native to Vesuvia: Liliocerus Lilii, aka the Lily Leaf Beetle.

Entomologists traced this exotic species of beetle to the forests of the far South, found to be endemic to the darkest and most lush areas near caves, where lilies are prone to grow in dense clusters.

Vesuvia’s scientific community could not, however, identify the exact link between the beetles and the new virus, which was beginning to be reported with alarming frequency first on the outskirts of the city, then within the heart of the city itself.

Full-scale panic reached a crescendo when the Prime Minister, himself, was reported as being among the infected.

Enter Dr. Julian Devorak, aspiring virologist and professional vagabond.

It has not escaped my notice that a few of you have drawn comparisons between Dr. Disaster and Crowley the Demon, and I am here for it. He rocks leather blazers, tight jeans, messy hair, and sunglasses: sunglasses during the day, sunglasses at night, sunglasses indoors, outdoors, there will be sunglasses and you’ll just have to deal with it.

Are you a Barista? Can you keep a straight face when a 6′4″ zombie-skeleton-man in scrubs stained with blood and/or vomit shambles up to your counter at the stroke of 5 AM requesting, in what barely counts as English, 6 extra shots of espresso in his lightly-sweetened Venti nitro-brew? Will you smile politely as he frat-boy chugs his drink order right there, slams his glass on the counter and asks for another in a series of grunts and sputtering? Do you gingerly hand him napkins to wipe the stray droplets from his chin and neck? He loves you, darling. He will sink to his knees in supplication and kiss your hands and make sure he tips you generously. You’re an angel, sent to his earth bearing blessings and abundance. You are the center of his universe, you miracle. You absolute treasure.

Has driven the same old, lovingly maintained motorbike for the last 15 years. Her name is Lola, and while she’s not the newest, shiniest model, she gets a good 40 miles to the gallon, she’s sleek, she’s midnight black, and she’s reliable. He never rides with a helmet, but if you were to be his passenger, he would attach her sidecar, make you wear a helmet with the visor down, thank you, and an armored biking jacket, all of which he’d strap you up in while lecturing you about road rash, concussions, and the dangers of gravity.

His secret superpower is attracting a cabal of old, crusty battleax nurses to take care of him at every facility he’s ever provided care at. There’s something about a charming, wan skeleton-man that compels old women to rocket into Nanny-mode. “Christ, Julian, I’ve got this ultrasound, you go lay down on that gurney and get some shut-eye.”

“DOCTOR DEVORAK, drop those charts and come have some tea, you look half-past-dead and gettin’ stiffer, come on.”

Mostly subsists off of what he can find in hospital vending machines and has a large leather sack full of coins just for this purpose.

He’s a certified workaholic and will run on fumes until his body throws a tantrum and gives up, so he ends up passing out in odd places: hunched over kitchen counters, half dressed in a drooling pile on his living room floor, upside down on his couch, in the trunk of his neighbor’s car, under a cart of urine samples at the hospital, curled around a potted plant in the front lobby, and once hanging halfway out of Mazelinka’s window. The worst part is that Maz is on the third floor and his bottom half was hanging out of the window.

These scrubs, and you can fucking fight me about it.

When he’s not killing himself at the hospital, he can be found relaxing at the pub and if you buy him a salty bitters or five, he’ll tell you a few harrowing tales about his time apprenticing as a medic on fishing vessels, especially that one time a tuna clipper he was providing services on was hijacked by Molovian pirates and he had naught but a few inches of rope and a good, solid pipe to defend himself with. The pub regulars have heard it several times, but they always laugh. It’s a favorite.

Has a shitpost meme account on Instagram, and another Instagram where he posts pictures of pranks he’s pulled on other doctors at the hospital.

Has probably the most eclectic taste in music out of the main 6 and bought a Spotify premium account so he could make meticulously curated playlists for every situation. Definitely speeds down the highway on Lola blasting The Black Keys through his airpods.

If things get spicy 🍋 between himself and another person, it’s not wise to roleplay a doctor/patient scenario. He will take it entirely too seriously, regardless of what role he’s in, and the mood will be ruined until other measures are employed.

Ex: “Oh-ho-ho-okay, MC, I’m going to gently hold you here, and you cough for me, ha ha ;)”

MC: *exaggerated sexy cough* ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

“Oh- oh God, I think you have a testicular hernia, ho-holy shit, ah, have you gotten this checked out before, fuckin’ yikes, we need x-rays yesterday-”

Part 4: Muriel Edition can be found here.

Part 3: Nadia Edition can be found here.

Part 2: Lucio Edition can be found here.

Part 1: Asra Edition can be found here.

#the arcana #The Arcana Game #julian devorak #ilya devorak #ilyushka devorak #doctor devorak #julian the arcana #the arcana julian #modern au

[oddarticulations]

Auction for the nastiest thing I’ve ever done!! Last night I was working on a large male cuscus, and I vialed this stuff up. No, it’s not milk. No, it’s not baby juice….. it’s far worse. It’s anal gland secretions. I spent 10 minutes milking this dude’s butt balls just for this moment. Why, you might ask? That’s a good question…. whenever you find out the answer please let me know because I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. Now for the auction. Simple rules as always:
1. US only. A SWAT team would 10/10 show up at my house if I tried to ship this internationally.
2. Winner *must* record themselves smelling it for the first time
3. I’ll refund you $5 if you video yourself pranking someone with it. Put it in an ex’s car, dilute it and put it in a cologne bottle, use it as forbidden mayonnaise…. go crazy
4. Comment your bid on this post. Auction will be taking place on IG and FB, but I’ll try to keep both updated with the current highest bid.
5. Highest bid before 10pm CST (~11hrs after posting this) wins this beautiful vial of butt ball milk.
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Feel free to share this with your friends! I’ve been told exotic anal gland secretions make an unforgettable present for the holidays!
Highest bid: Tumblr peeps, please go bid on FB or IG