#ffvii nonsense

[prismaticpichu]

Angeal’s comfort food: A warm bowl of corn meal

Genesis’s comfort food: A warm bowl of tomato soup

Sephiroth’s comfort food: A warm bowl of cheddar mac and cheese

Zack’s comfort food: A stick of butter with sprinkles

#sephiroth #genesis rhapsodos #angeal hewley #zack fair #ffvii #ff7 #crisis core #randomness #stupidity #brain pudding #late night nonsense #you see this is funny bc I used to do this #comedy gold #shshshhsh I’m half asleep #*collaspes onto face with a snore*

[hedonistbyheart]

People seem to think that one of the changes they'll add to the FFVII Remake triptych is that Vincent will be Sephiroth's father instead of Hojo and I refuse to accept it. I'm going to utterly deny any hint at the possibility until they force me to accept it. I hate it.

I LIKE that Sephiroth's conception is not a product of love, I like that his parents are both hyper intelligent and utterly horrific people. I like the idea that he is a child with so much potential, but the fact that his parents did monstrous things, without literally being monsters, corrupted him.

If Vincent is his father you get more of a tragic lovers scenario, but it muddles how Sephiroth ended up being the genesis (excuse the pun) of everything. Lucrecia's motivations are already fucked, but if Sephiroth is a lovechild, Hojo would have to have stolen him I suppose. It's a possibility, but I still prefer the og explanation. I prefer it because it's fucked up, to be clear.

I also like the idea of Vincent feeling responsible for Sephiroth because he was in love with Lucrecia, rather than because Sephiroth is his actual child. There's something very gothic about feeling guilty about the child of the woman you pined after, but never actually had, and the irony of the man who contains monsters being more human than the one who did father the godlike child.

#ffvii rebirth spoilers #ffvii #ffvii meta #maybe they'll sell me on it if it happens #square enix is remarkably good at selling me complete nonsense #but for now I do not see it lol

[altocat]

Fifty bucks the EC Christmas event is time-travel portal nonsense in which adult Cloud learns the true meaning of Christmas by NOT immediately killing Miniroth on sight.

#sephiroth #ff7 #ffvii #final fantasy 7 #sephcanons #cloud strife #ever crisis #ffvii first soldier #First soldier #ffvii ever crisis #Nah fuck that tv special nonsense cloud aim for the head #Shitposting #Loling #Ff7ec #young sephiroth #ffviiec #final fantasy 7 ever crisis #ff7 ever crisis

[miss-midnightt]

The Firsts trio adopt a five year old version of Cloud

Angeal is mom

Genesis is dad

And Sephiroth, for reasons unknown, is grandma

———————————————————————

*Cloud runs into the room waving a sheet of paper*

Cloud: Grandma, grandma, look! I drew us!

*He shows Sephiroth a crayon drawing with one large blob with a silver blob on top and two green dots (eyes?) and a small blob with lots of yellow lines on top and two blue dots (eyes?)* Sephiroth: I love it, thank you Cloud!

*Genesis looks like he is about to explode.*

#ff7 #ffvii #final fantasy #final fantasy 7 #sephiroth #genesis rhapsodos #ffvii crisis core #final fantasy vii #cloud strife #cloud nonsense #baby cloud #shitpost #shitposting at midnight

[tenderdevils]

Firstly, I need to apologise for how unhinged I get when discussing Lucrecia and her relationship with Vincent.

Secondly, I have no plans of stopping.

#tomfoolery and nonsense #ffvii #vincent valentine #ff7 #final fantasy vii #final fantasy #final fantasy 7 #lucrecia crescent #vinlu #vincent x lucrecia #vincrecia

[imfreesaturday]

Mr strife, you’ve got a red nose

#art #illustration #ffvii cloud #ffvii #incorrect ffvii #ffvii fanart #cloud strife #cloud nonsense #final fantasy vii #final fantasy 7

[scrawnytreedemon]

hi! it’s me. tumblr user renegaderhapsodos coming to you live from your inbox(wow!)

what is a crack headcanon that you rotate in your head constantly/semi constantly?

personally for me it’s the one my sister forced upon me, that being dio brando was cloud strife’s dad the whole time.

WOAH cris!!! no way!!!!!

THAT'S SO FUCKING GOOD OML 😭😭😭 HE COULD... HE WOULD... adding to the crackshit crackcanon family tree. President Shinra move out the way, Dio can get it!

You've stumbled upon a can of worms, the issue now being which one I get to pick out. My whole mind is insane crack-headcanons. I build dynasties off these crack-canons!

I guess while not crack-crack, I do rotate the theory of Cloud potentially being one of President Shinra's bastards. We have two confirmed bastards, Lazard Deusericus and Evan Townshend, both of whom are blond and blue-eyed, like the President and Rufus, and Cloud. How Claudia Strife hit it off with the most powerful man on the planet beats me, but the guy has his ways.

This also makes all interactions between Cloud and Rufus much funnier to me because I am a sick bastard.

I hope this shall suffice 🙏

#scrawny rambles #scrawny answers #ffvii #cloud strife #and dio brando too ig #to be clear i *rotate* it i don't necessarily stand by it in any meaningful sense #i've heard other people hate it when everyone in a given property is related to each other #but to me that's the funniest fucking shit i love it #it's why i kept watching once up/n a t/me even after it got bad #i just HAD to see what other nonsense they could pull #that shit is like crack to me #you MUST understand! #plus small world ykno ykno #world's worst community 😭 #but yes so true bestie dio brando would totally father cloud strife #i still need to pick it up again (was reading the part 3 manga before losing my place in the pdf) #but isn't one of the later characters one of his kids? that guy can get it on #even and especially between space and time #nothing stops dio

[nierielfaegir]

Let the headcanon continue!

#i don't care what hojo said in the game he's a bad guy i don't trust him #and i'll aknowledge what the writer said post game but i still call nonsense #look at these two! #vincent valentine #sephiroth #final fantasy vii #ffvii #ffvii ever crisis #crack theory #mypost

[prismaticpichu]

Angeal, passing by the training room, catches sight of Zack scrolling through a PHS with Sephiroth sitting casually on the bench beside him. A scowl crosses his face as the doors slide apart and he stalks inside.

“Zack! What do you think you’re doing? I specifically took away your phone so you wouldn’t get distracted.”

Zack, having stiffened from the bark, glances up with cornered eyes. He swallows.

“Erm—“

“He is not distracted,” Sephiroth cuts in smoothly, glancing up himself to confront the approaching Angeal.

“Oh really?” the man folds his arms.

“Yes, really. We are simply looking at a list of potential missions for him to take on. I’m the one who lent him the PHS, as he didn’t have access to his own. I was quite shocked to be frank.” Sephiroth’s stare hardens a bit. “Perhaps you should have thought about the device’s necessary resources to a SOLDIER before commandeering it.”

Angeal is struck silent. The scowl has quickly faded from his visage, now replaced by a more stunned, almost humbled look. Sephiroth nods in approval.

“Now, if you will excuse us, we would like to return to work.”

There’s a beat, before Angeal returns an understanding nod.

“Right. Thank you, Sephiroth. I appreciate your diligence with him.”

“Of course.”

Zack and Sephiroth watch the man leave, staring at his retreating back until the doors have shut and Angeal is out of sight. Only then does Zack let out a sigh of relief, smiling impishly.

“Phew. That was a close one.”

Sephiroth nods in agreement, stern, before a resurfacing smirk breaks the facade. He glances back down at the screen.

“Show me the video with Genesis shouting at a stop sign again.”

#sephiroth #ffvii #zack fair #crisis core #randomness #angeal hewley #the new era of ‘sephiroth breaks character to do nonsense with zack and take him under his nonexistent wing’ #lying to protect the pupper #ff7 #genesis rhapsodos

[tinyjellyfishy]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CLOUD STRIFE

#my art #cloud strife #ff7 #ffvii #ff7r #yeah so it appears I've become Cringe. disappears for months to bring you this nonsense #scribbled in less than an hour and was like 'this fucking sucks. post'

[chronicas]

The FFVIIR trilogy should end with a normal looking low-poly Cloud waking up in his little JPG bed and going “Guys I had the weirdest fucking dream last night.”

#I’d forgive them for all the retconning and compilation nonsense. #ophidian lore #ffvii

[altocat]

ooooh, consider this for even MORE drama: seph ends up in that au shinra sanctioned marriage, but the woman actually falls in love with him! since you interpret seph as gay, he'd never be able to return those feelings, so what would happen?

This is trickier. I could see Sephiroth being selfish with plenty of slips...but not without feeling actual remorse. Seeing how his wife is not acting malicious on behalf of Shinra, he finds himself bound by duty to be kind to her, and to try to make her happy.

She does fill SOME emotional void, particularly the part of Sephiroth desperate for some maternal warmth. He does come to love her...just not in the way she needs or deserves. He does what he can, even if there's an undercurrent of unhappiness there. And when he finally musters the strength to tell her the truth, even knowing he risks sending her straight to Shinra to blab, he finds her both heartbroken... and understanding.

It is because of her acceptance and unconditional loyalty to him that he decides to stay with her, at least for a while. They even manage to produce a single child together, a huge challenge though it was. When Sephiroth decides to leave Midgar in pursuit of what he really wants, he encourages her to take their child and come with him, so that they can ALL be free.

They officially separate once they've made their escape, and this actually works out best for them in the long run. They can be real, genuine friends now, and she can finally find someone who truly deserves her. They still co-parent their child together, though Seph proves to be an aloof and emotionally distant father, freedom or no. Some things never change.

#asks #ff7 #ffvii #final fantasy 7 #crisis core #sephcanons #sephiroth #AU #Soap opera nonsense

[someoneoffthestreet]

this new song has me scratching my head because at first glance the lyrics kind of play out like your typical love song, but I keep getting stuck on the title: "No Promises to Keep"

looking at the lyrics, I'm trying to find the narrative: that the singer is talking about this person, and how it was neither fate nor destiny that brought them together, just random chance. so now that they are parting again, the singer hopes that chance will smile on them again and reunite them. there are no promises, no "I will find you"s or other intents to search for or wait for each other, just a hope that one day luck will bring them back together for good.

(which, in Cloud's own words: "Survival is a matter of luck or skill. And you can't rely on luck.")

laying all that out, the singer insists that they don't need promises, but I feel like the lyrics almost tell on themselves, especially paired with the video that was used for the trailer. the singer hopes that a reunion is in the cards, but hope itself is a sort of promise, betraying the casual attitude to their relationship. and especially I feel the video itself contradicts the "no promises" angle, because it feels like a theme going forward is all about how being a person, being a living creature in this world, is about the promises we make to ourselves and each other, such as Bugenhagen's promise to Seto, or Barret's promise to Dyne. (this is in contrast to Shinra, which makes and breaks promises on a whim.)

the singer (Aerith) says they don't want or need promises, they'll be fine if luck doesn't go their way again. and like, I can see a romantic angle to this, I do, but in the greater scope of Aerith's story, there's something almost fatalistic to this. it feels to me like the song is saying that Aerith is used to broken promises and has learned not to rely on them, because all they bring is disappointment. this also lends a melancholic read to her Resolve scene in Remake, where Cloud says he's coming for her and she just smiles sadly and says "thank you". if we read that this Aerith has some idea of what's in store for her, then there's the idea that she knows that she cannot be saved, and that Cloud is going to carry the guilt of not fulfilling a promise that was impossible to keep. so this is a way for her to say that he's off the hook, he's holding himself to a standard she never held him to, that he doesn't need forgiveness from her because she was never holding him to the promise he made. he was never going to save her, so it was enough that he was there at all. (all AC stuff btw.)

ONE FINAL THOUGHT (and this one is a reach):

because the phrase "promises to keep" makes me think of the closing lines to Robert Frost's "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening":

The woods are lovely, dark and deep, But I have promises to keep And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep.

because maybe Aerith believes that there are no promises between her and Cloud keeping them together- but Cloud has promises of his own. the obvious one is Tifa, of course, but there's Zack, too. Cloud has to keep these promises he has made, and has to keep going, miles and miles, to where the promises lead him back home. but Aerith, who has "no promises to keep", will be parting ways with him and lingering in the woods.

#if this makes sense at allllll #in which I ramble #this is suddenly a video game blog #FFVII #ffvii spoilers #please don't start nonsense in the notes #this is just me thinking out loud #if you don't like what I have to say you can just move on

[booty-uprooter]

why are these ones like. genuinely pretty good

#ffxiv #ffvii #ffvii remake #cloud strife #ai art generator #zack's random nonsense