Day 145 | id in alt
I am a FIRM believer that utahime vs Gojo would be basically sukuna vs Mahoraga and Gojo wouldn't be the sukuna of that fight.
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ok folks this lives and dies between us but i swear to god with every passing moment and every new fact i learn i am more and more convinced that had i spoken portuguese at age 11 when i got into minecraft youtube the first time i would BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DOUBT have had a tiny little baby 11 year old celebrity crush on pactw
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almost 4am can't stop thinking about the meaning of the idiom 'to have blood on [someone's] hands'—to be responsible for a person's death—combined with the fact that Zach is the one we are specifically shown with Daryl's actual blood on his hands (once for real and once in a dream)... Not Josh who had been holding the sword Daryl fell onto, but Zach who took the sword out.
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Forgive me for being frank, but considering your last post I just wanted to pitch this out there.
I can't remember when I subscribed to your tumblr, but but for the last while now I've read a great deal of your posts - on night shift in the ER, at home when my son has been sick and is sleeping on my chest, in the quiet moments when I have a second alone and want to think a little.
As an old fart I have to tell you that have an extraordinary way of seeing things, a depth that I find rare and endearing. You're multidimensional, thoughtful, and you shake things up. All those qualities add up to very little on this hell site, because by definition, that's what it is - a hell site.
I'm not sure the degree you are pursuing, or the dreams you have for your life, but I think you have a calling that's far more vast than tumblr. I think you have a heart made for greater and real adventures, and you could make changes you can't imagine now.
In my old lady life I never found God on my phone, and He certainly never looked for me there either. We met each other in the mountains I now live in, and it's from there I found my purpose with people.
Take heart, little one. You are talented and designed for something amazing. Whether it's your degree, a wild woman who lives in the woods, or a scholar of literature. If it's on your heart, don't ignore it. Set your feet on a path and follow it. I think you're going to do incredible things.
I can't remember the last time I was told something so kind that touched me on such a deep personal level. I started crying from the second paragraph and I'm still practically sobbing as I type.
Thank you so much for this.
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my last post and the shameless mountain goats reference i threw in there got me thinking about one of my favorite story beats, because it combines a lot of character work and thematic oomph in one: ed being a victim of his own legend and ability to protect himself by hiding in plain sight + codeswitch into the version of himself that best suits the company/situation he’s in, in many ways but often most visibly through his interactions with izzy.
my take on “is blackbeard real or fake” has always been “yes”; blackbeard is pieces of ed filtered and strained and assembled and pruned down in ways that scarred him even as they kept him safe, in ways that are very sad and often stretching the definition of safe as far as ed’s personal definition of murder. nonetheless: it got him to the place he's at, still alive. could he have done it another way? who knows! that was the way he did it, it's the way he knows will work because it did work.
or: he thinks he knows that. but the legend was never all of ed and in fact demanded he spotlight pieces of himself he doesn't like so much a lot and repress a lot of the things that make him feel good, it’s not helping/hurting anymore. it’s just dragging him down.
so ed is sick of the blackbeard schtick; and here’s the rub. if he’d been worse at the art of personal fuckery alongside the pirate type, maybe none of this is happening. the world never knows his name; or worse, once he gets spotted as a man who won't kill they mock it.
that version of ed does not attract izzy ‘ask me about my boner for the sunk cost fallacy’ hands, or does not keep him. because izzy has built his identity around ed’s legend; who is blackbeard’s first mate, if there is no blackbeard? who the fuck even is izzy hands, if he’s not seated at the right hand of edward teach?
now. you would hope, in a better world, that izzy would be like you know, edward, the thing here is: you wanting something different involves emotional consequences for me. i would have to figure out my whole life over again and i am simultaneously con o’neill’s age and emotionally sixteen like the real world me was, so you can see that would be super complicated. i have so fucking much baggage and you are just adding to it, and i do not like that. also: this fucks up my work situation and my home life at once, it makes me feel sad and abandoned and itchy in ways i do not wish to label with words because they would be gay ones like ‘please don’t leave me, i love you and i thought it was mutual’ so like... world rocked, thoroughly and in ways that make me want to rant until past last call, in conclusion this sucks and i think it's twenty mistakes in a trenchcoat, some of them maybe life threatening! i wish you would not.
and then he would step back and let ed make his own fucking choices anyway and either do the work to figure himself out in the same space or finally grab those cds from the car and find his own place to do the same, because a shitty fact of adult life is sometimes people cannot be what we want or need. sometimes that is because they suck: sometimes, it’s just because they can’t or don't want to, and that isn't them being mean or withholding. they don't owe us more than the basic kindness and dignity we all owe to each other just because we put in our hours longing for them to do so. that’s some toxic, entitled shit. understandable! an impulse i share at times! but we should never be That Guy (gender neutral) because the friendzone doesn’t actually exist and nobody deserves to win someone else as a prize for hanging around long enough and driving them to the airport. that’s just called being friends, etc.
izzy is sadly currently stuck on being That Guy. so instead of realizing ed is an adult man and can make his own choices, even if izzy thinks they're bad ones, he fucking panics and starts swinging around and finally runs to big daddy england to make stede bonnet stooooooooop (messing with ed’s brain).
and of course he does something like that! he thinks a relationship is when you metaphorically own each other and when you can only be tender after putting your right foot in and then putting it out before once again putting it in and then proceeding to shake it all about, violent rituals unlock love style. he’s a desperate man in a hell entirely of his own making.
and so is ed, in this entirely different way but stuck in his own fucking orbit as firmly as izzy, only ed is trying to claw his way up and out to see what else he can be, while izzy would do juuuust about anything (including lick the king’s boots) to stay the same forever.
that’s some tragic shit. i love this writing team, the end.
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you ever autism blast about something that isnt even one of Your Things its a thing a friend is into but somebody brought it up and youre autism blasting basically just what that friend has told you and you have to clarify to the person youre talking to that you Are just spewing bullshit and do not know anything about the media yourself. but you do love your friend.
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espagnol anon... COMBATTEZ-MOI, J'AI LE POUVOIR !!!
AHHHH SUPER BON BON ATTAQUE
-French anon… 👹
ARE YOU REAL OR AND YOU AN IMPOSTER FRENCH PERSON!!!!!!
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Just gimme Vol 5 already Dx
I don't want to wait a whole month.
And I don't want to wait half a year for Vol 6 either Dx
I can't reread the previous books again, please >.<
Be aware, spoiler for happy marriage novel vol 4 in the tags.
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I need one of my more rough-and-tumble f/os to spar with me whenever I get into Rage Mode over the most inconsequential bullshit. That would fix me.
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So idk who stayed and recovered my area but it looked fucking perfect aside from some areas needing filled (minor minor problem) and honestly I'm shocked sggddggd since I started I have not once come in and seen it look that nice before 4am
Also jfc I work with 50 year old middle schoolers
I stg these women are way too old to be acting the way they do
Like we work retail and it's 4am, all of our jobs are fucking hard, don't start fights with other sections bc if they have to cross and work YOUR section it's gonna be a shitshow and it'll all be bc you never grew up past being 10 years old
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Just outlined the next chapter and got some of it written and have I mentioned before that my core competency as a writer is writing angsty arguments that drive forward character devopment bc it is and I have
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how come "wonder" is your favorite movie of all time? and have you read the book?
(coming from someone who never got to watch 'wonder' during my obsession with the book)
tysm for asking i have two answers for this
the short one being that I am extremely neurodivergent and was hyperfixated on wonder for a long time in 2017 after the movie came out so it will always hold a special place in my heart
the slightly longer answer is that the movie (and the book) is a masterpiece. it's not without it's problems ik but I think overall it's just incredible. i think the story is so good on it's own (and even though our experiences aren't exactly the same it's definitely something that resonates with me having grown up autistic), the cinematography in the movie is so beautiful, the soundtrack is amazing and the acting especially from kids so young is so so good. the movie does such a good job of bringing the book to life and it almost feels like a more personal experience bc you get to see real people living through the story and like i said before they do an amazing job with the acting and it all just comes together and i just really really love it i definitely recommend you watch it if you can
(and yes i have read the book and i did really like it too)
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Wrestling rambling, putting it below the cut for heavy subject matter
I think a heel going up on the mic to use a real actual persons struggles with addiction as a way to gain heat just. Sucks actually. I think the key to doing a good script for heel shit is knowing where the line is and walking up to it, but not over it, and any time they have somebody just stride over it like that it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Like, man. Can you imagine having something Bad going on in your life and having your boss put that into a show in front of thousands of people. That just. Blows. That can't be good for anyone. And it's not a new nor unprecedented thing this just is part of a Thing in wrestling and i hate it tbh; wrestlers are performers, they are human beings with real lives. I would much prefer if actual real genuine struggles that can severely impact people's lives weren't utilised to gain heat, you can gain it w/o doing that, it just feels like a cheap and dirty shot and not in a fun in-kayfabe way, in a 'man this isn't fun' way. Wrestling is a performance, i wanna watch a good show, i want a good script and great performances, not scripts that are just taking cheap and nasty low blows just to get a reaction; man, get a reaction with a good performance. Make me believe in a heel instead of resorting to That. Everyone is better than that!! You can do better!!
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The turtles got their new food and they seem to be liking it well. They had been using the sandbox all night in and out so it looks like I will be building a much bigger sand unit onto their enclosure. My other tank got a very expensive cleaning last night for peppermint and foremost. I also was able to get them an air stone. I also bought anything to vacuum out their tank and so last night they got quite the cleaning which will be finished this morning. I was also able to get half of my cutting done in my garden yesterday so my garden is finally taking off as well. Hopefully today I can put it in a little more work and bring my garden a little bit closer to being started. Artemisia is very watchful that I don't overwork myself because sometimes I have a tendency to where my garden is concerned. So the coffee is made and I'm sitting outside and enjoying it right now other than the fact that all my dinosaur buddies are sitting here in a circle looking at me in the trees bullying me to give them more food but we of course has suspended operations because of the bird flu. Sorry little guys but I think I know better than you I can read the medical journals you can't. So until I feel like it's safe again you guys are on your own I hate to say that. I guess I will offset that by giving my inside buddies a little more attention than they've been getting. The little tank is looking a lot better. Foremost loves the air stone much more than peppermint does. I think our reading let us to the correct decision that the snail needs an AirStone and that is exactly what she got. I also scraped off the six masses of eggs that she laid around the top of the tank, luckily I don't have a female to fertilize them all or I would have a million snails like I'm afraid I'm going to have a million Turtles before it's all over with. I won't be able to release them in the wild if it actually happened but we'll cross that bridge when we get there. I love my critters and my critters love me.
I would add more tags but they only allow me a certain number so I should end it there. Or else I'll talk myself right into a bad mood. And that's not fair to my little buddies is it?
Mark my word, we are all going to live to see the day to read about that man doing something incredibly stupid. I'm not going to try to lay any future or philosophical View on what that could be. Trust me, he's a pedophile with an arsenal of ghost guns. And it's a situation that I'm too old to try to help and solve. My other two grandchildren the one being autistic and the other being transgender make me want to reach out and help them and yet the transgender child is under extreme brainwashing by him. One time he even told her that he would fuck the lesbianism right out of her, and for me that's not something that should ever come out of a father's lips to a daughter ever no matter what the situation is at all. And yet that same transgender child, under his pristine Direction, hates my very guts. The only one in the family who would actually call you by your real name and would refuse to use your dead name and yet I guess the fact is that Alan loves his father and any concessions that meat had makes for her must make her feel at least somewhat accepted. But because of the Meathead Saga I do not get to see those two sets of grandchildren anymore. Because I'm a deep state leftist, if you can actually believe that's a reason to hold your children back from someone. That's very sad to me I have seven grandchildren all together. It is only two that I get to react and deal with everyday living here with me and I'm so thankful of that. Many people would say it's a financial burden I should not subject to myself to. But I've always been a firm believer that you never throw kids to the wind ever. Especially not in this fucked up world the way it is now. If you throw your kids to the Wolves you're no better than a Spartan throw in your baby off the edge of a cliff. And that's not how I was ever taught that parenting was done. I have never raised a hand to a child ever not in my whole life. I've always gotten so much more from children when you talk to them and treat them like people the people that they no doubt are.
Anyway, Meatheads brand of ineffectual terrorism doesn't really scare me in any way. I have no idea why I'm really on this this morning. Perhaps the youngers are arguing last night reminded me of the tension in the house when Meathead was here pretty much destroying everything in his path. We're trying to destroy everything in his path which included me. I had six police officers and four doctors all together bum rushed me in the room to convince me that I needed to press charges. I told him if I pressed charge does that means I won't be able to get them out of my house and the only thing I want is for them to be out of my house like tomorrow so I didn't press charges against him, which I'm sure he walks around in his own little tiny house Castle now Vindicated somehow that the cops wouldn't touch him when really it was me that kept that from happening. Trust me if it had been any other situation I would have made sure he got every little bit of punishment he deserved for it but it was more important for me to clear this place out and have a nice calm place for my Artemisia and our wonderful youngers
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“I am starving!” //From Gogeta
Hearts stared at Gogeta blankly for a moment or two as he tried to figure out what exactly he had meant by that statement. If the ivory-skinned alien knew anything about Saiyans, it was the they tended to eat a lot and generally weren’t picky when it came to what they ate. Of course, that wasn’t to say that all Saiyans were like this, but it could be used as a general rule of thumb when interacting with or dealing with them. How did this apply to the fused fighter? Of that, Hearts was not sure. He had suspected that the other might’ve simply been looking for some food, but he also couldn’t rule out the possibility of Gogeta looking for another fight (but not outright saying it.) A small part of him was hoping that that wasn’t what the other was looking for, considering how the outcome of his last battle with the metamoran fusion had turned out, and yet, he was also looking forward to it. How strange.
There was one last possibility that the mind reader could think of, but was ultimately dismissed because it seemed the most unlikely out of the three options he considered. Deciding to focus in on what Gogeta’s heart was ‘saying,’ he finally determined that the other was just hungry. . . . Unfortunately, it couldn’t tell him what the fusion desired as far as food went. So, he figured he would ask.
“That’s a rather broad exclamation, now isn’t it? What are you in the mood for?”
@dragvnsovl
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