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epizkage · 4 years

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the first chapter of my good omens fic! its a uni au, the main ship is ineffable bureaucracy but there is also background ineffable husbands, hastur/ligur, and maybe future dagon/michael! i’ll be uploading this to ao3 tomorrow, as well as uploading a page of sketches for each chapter both on here and on my art insta. thank you for reading, im grateful for any feedback at all!! tagging as #ineffable neighbours on all platforms!! (here, ao3 and instagram!)

“Crowley, what the fuck?” Bee groaned, incredulous, as Crowley handed them another houseplant through the car window. They were sat in the passenger seat, knees near enough at their chest with how far forward the seat had been pushed, their lap and arms already full of plants which they may as well have been juggling in trying to make room for more.

“I have to bring all of them, Bee, they’ll be lonely if I don’t.” Crowley answered sincerely, handing them another, which Bee shoved rather frustratedly into one of the cupholders by the gear stick.

"Oh, don't worry about me-" Bee huffed sarcastically, taking the tray of mini cacti that Crowley handed them and sliding it onto the dashboard. "-I'll just be a fucking shelf, shall I? It's not like I wanted to say goodbye to our mothers or anything."

"Language, Bee!" Came their mum's joking voice, though from where Bee couldn't quite tell, their peripheral vision on both sides blocked by leaves and greenery.

"Yeah, Bee, language." Crowley mimicked petulantly, having the gall to try and hand them one last plant through the window only to be stopped by a string of very colourful curse words. Bee managed, after a lot of growling and swearing and heightening claustrophobia, to transplant the innumerable pots into the vacant driver's seat, swinging the car door open with enough vigour to nearly hit Crowley as they made their escape.

The tiny battered car was stuffed to the brim, back seats folded down to make room for two lots of possessions, Crowley and Bee's lives packed up into boxes and stacked in the world's most audacious game of Tetris, scraping the roof and blocking the back window entirely; sure to make Crowley's already terrible driving even worse.

"Arsehole." Bee scowled, stepping back from the car to join their parents on the pavement, all watching and doing nothing to help as Crowley attempted to strap a way-too-big suitcase to the roof.

"Don't call your brother an arsehole, dear." Their mama said jovially, nudging them in the side.

"He is a bit of one, though." Replied their mum - the other one - coming up to their other side. Bee smirked at the two of them, and busied themselves with rolling a cigarette.

"Oi!" Crowley called, turning to throw them all a faux-offended pout, ignoring the suitcase for just long enough for it to start sliding off the roof. At the sight of him frantically trying to stop it from either hitting the ground or smashing one of the car windows, Bee choked on a laugh and dropped the filter they'd been holding between their lips, figuring it was karma for laughing as Mama rushed to Crowley's aid.

"You could help, you know, dear sibling." Crowley yelled, way too loud for a quiet, late September morning, as he tightened the straps on the makeshift roof rack. The neighbours, inevitably, would talk amongst themselves - middle class businessmen asking "oh, aren't you glad that those bastard kids are finally going back to uni?" over a neat and orderly breakfast, wives responding "I never did understand them anyway, Karen mentioned Satanic witchcraft, but really I think they're just hippies." Maybe they'd even pop round with fake neighbourly intent, presenting the couple with a rehearsed spiel of "my Sophie left for uni again a few weeks ago, you don't appreciate the alone time until they come back!" and a horrid fake laugh when really all they were trying to do was nosey around and determine whether their neighbours were lesbians or just really good friends.

Really good friends, who shared a surname, raised children together, and held a garden party last year to renew their vows.

Bee ignored him and sparked up their cigarette. Both mothers shared a glance and rolled their eyes, and Crowley rounded the car to lean against it.

"Is that everything?"

Bee nodded through an exhale of smoke, and suddenly their parents had zoned in on them, Crowley being dragged into their huddle while Bee was made to extinguish their cigarette.

"Oh, we'll miss you, horrible children." Their mum laughed, pulling both Bee and Crowley into a tight hug and kissing them both, Bee on the crown of their head and Crowley on the cheek, before passing them off for Mama to do the same.

"We'll miss you both too." Crowley replied, his smile showing clearly all of the anxiety he was trying to keep hidden.

"Don't worry, kiddo-" Bee slapped him on the back as they spoke, a rare moment of genuine and open kindness flashing between them and making their mothers smile from ear to ear. "-Everyone's nice, you know that."

It was Crowley’s first year while Bee was going into their second, and Crowley was to move in with Bee and their friends that they’d met last year. Crowley had met them all before, too, even considering them friends of his own after spending a lot of time at Bee’s flat, though nothing could help keep the anxiety at bay.

Truth be told, the poor kid looked like he might cry, and so with a sigh Bee decided to take control.

“Come on, we gotta go, I’ve got all the keys and I don’t want Hastur or Dagon tearing into me for making them wait.”

Crowley looked understandably dejected, but nodded nonetheless, and with one last long family hug the two bundled into the car.

Bee got in first, bringing all of the plants back into their lap to make room for Crowley, who soon after slid into the driver’s seat, hands balled into fists on his thighs as he took a deep breath.

“It’ll be okay, kid.” Bee tried to be reassuring despite their voice sounding bored and their face being almost entirely blocked by plants, but Crowley smiled at them anyway.

“I know, it’ll just be weird to be so far away.”

Bee nodded with a hum, both of them waving goodbye to their mothers, before they set off for their new house-

-which was fifteen minutes away, in the city. ~

Crowley and Bee had managed to unpack the car and near enough move everything in before the first of their housemates even showed up, perfectly chaotic and exactly at the wrong time, as Crowley battled to fit the giant suitcase through the front door while Bee laid on the sofa and did nothing to help.

Her arrival was made known by three things: the sound of Britney Spears’ ‘Womanizer’ muffled through car windows and getting ominously closer until coming to a head as she pulled up, a crash as the aforementioned car hit the lamp post outside the house, and then a loud, blunt exclamation of “fuck.”

“Ah, Dagon’s here.”

She ran out of the car, leaving the engine on, door open and music still blasting, and gave Crowley a hard clap on the shoulder as she pushed past him and threw herself into Bee’s lap, only to be promptly deposited onto the floor.

“Aren’t you guys buzzed?” She grinned, red hair messy and falling into her face, partially covered by a black baseball cap that said “women want me, fish fear me” on the front.

“I was until you got here.” Bee fired back playfully, snatching the hat from Dagon’s head and shoving it on their own. It was way too big and the peak fell down over their eyes every time they moved, and they readjusted the size, quite intent on wearing it for the rest of the night, as they got up to help Dagon unpack her car.

Dagon had brought with her far too much of what she didn’t need and far too little of what she did; half of her car being taken up by a giant fish tank (“I’m going back home tomorrow to get them, I hope they don’t miss me too much.”) while the tiny suitcase on her passenger seat apparently held all of her clothes for the year. The music, still Britney Spears, was only turned off once Dagon had unloaded the car completely (as Bee and Crowley had discovered, she had created a playlist of every single Britney Spears song on Spotify), by which point many of the neighbours had already given them some rather distasteful looks from behind their net curtains.

With the playlist blaring again, now through a speaker upon Dagon’s insistence, the three of them had split up to investigate the house. The outside was irregular and dirty-white, made complete by a wooden door with chipped black paint and a half shiny, half rusted number six nailed to the wall. The inside was no better, old carpets and ragged papering complimenting holes in the plaster and rusty radiator pipes.

None of them had even bothered to look around the place before signing the contracts - an offer of cheap rent and ‘satisfactory’ facilities more than enough to sway them.

Bee had taken to the garden, itching for nicotine, and they extracted a cigarette from behind their ear, scattering loose tobacco through their mess of black hair and making no effort to even acknowledge it, let alone remove it.

The garden was small, narrow and void of greenery completely, except from a pitiful looking tree that looked more like a long twig that had been plunged into a patch of gravel than anything that had ever been remotely alive. The ground was plain concrete, mossy and damp and unappealing in every sense, resembling an alleyway more so than a garden. Bee thought it crunched nicely beneath their thick-soled boots as they walked, and that was enough for them.

They hopped up onto the shoddy brick wall that ran the length of the garden fence, almost barreling straight into the tree-that-once-was, and once they’d found their footing they paused to light their cigarette.

Crowley would be sure to try and bring the thing back to life, of that they were certain.

Eyeing the fence, Bee was sure that it would fall down before the year was up, what with the rot and knot-marks and holes between the panels; and they suppressed a laugh at the death-rattle it gave when they kicked it. They spared a glance over into their neighbour’s garden, and then their nosiness overcame them and they draped their arms over the fence entirely, wrinkling their nose a little at how nice next door seemed in comparison.

It was a wide, open space and the tiles on the ground looked brand new and almost shone under the early afternoon sun. Bee didn’t feel in the least bit bad about dropping cigarette ash all over them. In the middle was a patch of neat green grass, in the far corner a russet-painted shed, and the entire back fence was painted with a sunset-inspired mural.

Inside the house Bee saw a lone girl, busy packing things away into the wall units in the kitchen. Bee found themselves very intrigued, her deep brown skin flawless and shining with a rich gold highlighter that caught the sun every time she moved, and she wore a loose, ruffled white shirt that flowed with her movements and made her look like an angel.

For someone so seemingly put-together, she’d sure picked a rough neighbourhood to live in.

Bee stopped staring, then, and as they turned to duck down behind the fence to finish their cigarette they met eyes with Crowley, making his way out of the back door to join them.

“Dagon’s setting up her tank," He waved vaguely behind him as he spoke, up on his tiptoes to peer eagerly over the fence.

"What's next door like?"

"Nice." Bee replied genuinely with a nod, waiting for Crowley's hum of approval before continuing. "When's your boy moving in?"

Crowley choked, and Bee snickered when his face flushed almost as red as his hair.

He had started dating a boy named Aziraphale, though Crowley would only ever call him Ezra, Zira, or Angel, over the summer, having met online and hit it off in a fresher's group chat for their university.

"Weird name." Bee had commented, and then had immediately taken it back upon remembering that their legal name had very nearly been Beelzebub.

The two had met up a few times, and soon become an official item. Bee could still vividly remember the absolute joy on Crowley's face when he'd found out that, arguably through some sort of divine intervention, Zira would be living just next door when term time started.

Who else he was living with, however, Bee and Crowley hadn't the faintest. All Zira had said was that there were four of them, two second years and two first years, and all of them had met through family friends, university societies and extra curricular youth groups. Nerds.

"Uh, h-he-" Crowley cleared his throat, removing his sunglasses as if it'd help him think better, brown eyes so light they almost shone yellow darting this way and that but never meeting Bee's own. "-He should be here tomorrow, or the day after."

Bee smirked at him, quirking an eyebrow.

"You'll have to introduce us.”

Crowley very quickly brushed it off with an awkward nod.

“What do you think the rest of ‘em will be like?”

Bee finished their cigarette and stubbed out the end on the wall, little ashy embers flying back at them as they flicked the filter in the general direction of the drain by the back door.

‘Get something to put your dock ends in-’ Bee reminded themselves as they followed Crowley back through to the living room. ‘-Asshole. Think of the planet.’

“Insufferable, probably.” Bee shrugged, leaning back against the sofa and crossing one leg over their knee, their foot beginning to twitch and shake out of habit. They decided not to mention the girl they’d seen in the kitchen, knowing full well that Crowley would mislay the information to Dagon, who in turn would mislay it to Hastur, over-exaggerated and not at all true stories of Bee and the mystery girl somehow being an item forming from nothing more than boredom and a need for drama.

“Yeah, probably.” Crowley’s reply was half-hearted, paying no real attention as he instead stared down at his phone.

“Zira likes them, though, so I’m sure they’re nice enough.”

Bee made no effort to reply, but if they had, it would’ve been cut off. First by a crash, followed immediately by the second customary exclamation of “fuck” of the day.

It was beginning to feel like home already.

#good omens #good omens fanfiction #good omens fanart #ineffable bureaucracy #ineffable husbands #ineffable neighbours #my writing

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artificialqueens · 5 years

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living on the edge of the law ( biadore / sashea ) - chapter 7

sasha and shea finally come to terms and adore is having some issues of her own.

finally an update !! I’ve been so busy with my musical and other AU’s and school, I’ve decided that every week this’ll get an update so it’ll be a bit more frequent and such, hope y'all enjoy, the drama begins.

— *.✧

Sasha groaned, feeling her entire body sore and unable to move even if she wanted to, her eyes gently opened and her lashes fluttered, unaware of she was for a minute as she brushed her eyes with her fingertips, giving a yawn before looking around and noticing Shea still asleep, smiling and absentmindedly dreaming— Sasha felt a small rose colored blush appear on her cheeks and she smiled looking away realizing now exactly where she was before giving herself a high-five and praising that finally after years it had happened and it was all thanks to Bianca and some Whitney Houston.

A grumble was noised from Shea as she gently awoke to Sasha’s hand across her hair, running her fingers through it and simply taking it all in: it was hard to not give a grin to her best friend who sat in her bed wearing nothing but Shea’s shorts and a bra, her blonde hair definitely a little tangled though they could always fix that later with a brush and some willpower, “Sleep, I’m just awake is all.” The Russian whispered as Shea tiredly propped herself against the bedframe, she shook her head and opened her arms before Sasha gave a glimmering smile and collapsed in Shea’s arms, the blonde happily accepting the offer.

“It took too many years but it finally happened, Bianca and Trinity owe me twenty each!” The wink from her eyes undeniably sweet, Sasha softening her gaze knowing it was all in good fun in the first place, it was a bit suspicious having Bianca, who was definitely not one to be so oddly curious and kind for lack of a better word.

“My gut said so after Bianca kept asking me about myself and you, part of me was confused and the other part of me was praying that this was the next step to one of us finally confessing something,

“I hate to be awkward but—” Shea begun before yawning so she could take in a big yawn and wrap her arms around Sasha, who was beyond snug in her arms and felt protected and quite happy with her life currently, “What are we?” The question finally came out and the Russian froze, she didn’t exactly realize until now they hadn’t talked about the state of her relationship and friendship.

“What do you want us to me?” The question pondered to Shea who took no hesitation and time to answer with a quick, “Girlfriends.“

Sasha nodded and liked the sound of the word with them together, “Girlfriends…” She repeated in a whisper with nothing but utter joy in her heart, Shea quickly winking: “You know, lesbians, power couple, ruling the world: that’s us."

The giggle that left the Russian’s lips was enough for Shea to feel absolute success, "Get up, I still have to get my car from Katya’s you know.” Sasha gently hitting her lover in the far right beside her before Shea sat up gasping, the Chicago native hitting her back before grabbing her wrists and staring a glance at her newly announced girlfriend who was covered in now blue stains of hickey’s, she hadn’t even brought it up yet but not as if she could do a thing about it expect cover them and not think too much about them, as long as they didn’t interfere with her work who truly cared, Sasha did not certainly.

“Seriously!” The blonde eyed her girlfriend intensely, not letting her gaze drop until Shea groaned, getting up slowly but surely from the bed and running a hand through her own long and black hair, “I know, I know!” She called out though it was impossible to be aggravated at someone as perfect as Sasha and besides, Shea definitely did promise the Russian to bring her to go and get her car.

Shea stood on her tip-toes grabbing a baseball cap from her closet before jumping into some jeans and an old Chicago Fire jersey she still kept from her father, he was a huge sports fan and of course you have to support your hometown whether or not they’re any good, Shea knew Sasha was definitely a fan of soccer (football to her) to begin with.

The Russian clapped, “Football!” The twinkle in her eyes as her lashes fluttered seeing her girlfriend in a sport’s jersey was enough reason for Shea to wear the damn thing, no questions asked.

“Just for you.” The smile sincere before she leaned in to kiss her girlfriend, hands on her soft cheeks, Shea could definitely get used to this. Sasha nervously mentioned she had no clothes with her besides the alcohol splashed dress from last night, Shea waved her off and knew they both wore medium dresses atleast, handing her a tulle dress she had received as a gift from Trinity a bit ago.

Sasha grabbed her lover’s face and kissed her gently before Shea quickly felt her arms melt around Sasha’s waist before the Russian gently pused back, “We’re getting my car and then we can do whatever we want.” Shea frowned before taking her cap off for a minute, slapping Sasha’s behind, the blonde intentionally and overdramatically jumping while laughing, “Let’s go, Katya is gonna have far too many questions!"

"And I’m prepared to answer them all in detail.”

✧*。

“Let’s go, let’s go, Давай!” Katya clapped as she interlocked her hands around Sasha’s chair, spinning around aimlessly in their new conjoined cubicle, it was said to them Monday morning, the worst time possible, some of them were having to move into a conjoined office but the perk was the fact was that they were in an isolated room, Sasha loved the privacy though they did get a nice window by the wall, looking out the building and having a small glimpse of downtown Santa Monica.

Katya was just happy to share the space with someone she liked, beyond liked, loved like a sister, family. The closest thing she would ever have to family since running away years ago from Russia with just a carry-on and a dictionary, though she had studied English in school, her self doubt was far too strong to even attempt to speak English the first two weeks.

Sasha met her the moment she was introduced to the staff, the look and face said enough for Katya to lovingly strangle her with a hug, screaming in russian the minute she had heard the blonde say her welcomes in russian, more to comfort Katya than anything else.

“Sharing an office with you is the biggest blessing and curse in my life, I can sense it already darling."

Katya cackled, jumping off her chair before sitting down, sipping the coffee Shea had so sweetly picked up for her as requested, writing a note down to remind herself to pay Shea back, "Oh please, if it was you and Shea you’d both fired in about a week because we all know this desk wouldn’t be used for working purposes.” Sasha almost gasped for air, gagging as she finished a small sip of tea, hitting her with her “Russia” decorated fan.

“Шлюха!"

The Russians hugged and played around before Katya smiled, head in her hands as her feet kicked back on the desk, "So how is it with your new lover?” Sasha always had the urge to completely push herself away from that kind of conversation with anyone, she liked her love life personal and locked up but being with Shea was so different. She wanted to bashfully speak about the joy sharing a bed and kisses with someone she had pinned for since she moved to America years ago.

“She’s great, gorgeous as usual, I have no complaints."

"If she hurts you I will fucking stab her and you know I’m not kidding, I love Shea Couleé but I love you more however, I do trust her. She only stared at you at parties, meetings, her eyes shined just for you!"

The comment started a bit crude and violent but then turned much softer than expected, Sasha looking away trying not to show her obviously content grin, that’s what she had always hoped to hear from others especially her friends who also were close with Shea and who wasn’t? She was the most likeable person in their job, head of communications for a reason!

"That’s good to know.” She brushed the crumbs from her scone off her work dress, Katya despite the head of their section and department somehow managed to constantly shit around, she only thought about five things: Trixie Mattel, the Lebanese restaurant down the street, Russia, Stationary and dancing— not an awful five things to think about, Sasha could probably summarize herself in about five things as well: Shea Couleé, journalism, fashion, Russia and her dog, Vanya.

They got back to their “work”, sipping on their drinks though all Sasha could think about was Shea, understandbly so as Katya was struggling to not think about her date with Trixie tonight, she hadn’t been on a date in almost two years and she didn’t want to screw this all up, it be especially awkward since Trixie is an aspiring singer with the possibility of a record deal here thanks to some strings pulled.

A knock at the door interupted her train of thought as Trinity waved, half hazardly, “Hey, Katya I need you really quick!” The older blonde stood up and nodded before waving goodbye to Sasha as Trinity and Sasha quickly ran to eachother all smiles, hugging, “I heard about the new girl, I’m so fucking glad she finally said something because I was about to tell you myself bitch."

Sasha laughed and hugged her close friend, the two met from work but bonded like no other the first year when they shared an office and Trinity never felt so glad to have a great friend around, Orlando was miles and miles away but she had Sasha and now she had a bunch of people but Sasha would always stick out to her the greatest.

"I’ll be back!” Katya yelled before shutting the door, Sasha shaking her head and aimlessly flipping through another one of her fashion magazines, she had an entire studio in her apartment dedicated to her fashion and designs, it was a good extra cash tip here and there but more for the passion: this job was nice, successful, paid well but nothing would ever compare to sewing or atleast writing about fashion, she always said to Katya how she felt about what others were wearing, in Russian of course, though it wasn’t spiteful: just legitmate observations.

“Maybe one day, but not right now.” She put the magazine down before getting on to her laptop, going back into work mode.

One day.

✧*。

Bianca sat her in her studio, putting away her laptop and dancing around her kitchen aimlessly, blasting music from the TV, hooking up her Spotify. She wasn’t exactly paying much attention, it was on shuffle and the playlist was actually originally made by Courtney and William who had to have a car playlist when they didn’t travel by plane.

Playing From Playlist

—

car trips <3 !!!

—

Currently Playing: Last Dance - Donna Summer

She sang along, not like anyone was around to hear her, she was absolutely not a vocalist, not even autotune could save the amount of shrill screams and cracks she had but she didn’t mind, she didn’t need to be a recording artist anytime soon, that was a last minute ditch plan.

A beep from her phone rang, it was from Adore which was worrysome considering she had begun packing away from her best friend’s house, they had finally made a deal on a condo, Adore insisted on a condo because she only cared about an extra room to be a studio and it needed a bathtub: well, that was an easy checklist and it even had a patio for her the text wasn’t exactly something Bianca had expected.

I’m in the rain, I’m near a bus stop, please come, please xx

The X’s at the end didn’t exactly calm down Bianca any more, immediately texting back a: send me your location right fucking now, I’m coming.

She turned off the TV and oven, checking just ever so quickly on the dinner she was trying to make before grabbing her keys and wallet and an extra jacket + a towel and bolting for her car, she didn’t hear the pouring rain from the blasting of Donna Summer but judging by Adore’s location she was only about ten minutes away with a car, five if Bianca really drove the way she always intended to: above every speed limit.

Not even baring to ask a question, her hands felt a bit tense as she turned into another corner, glancing in her mirror and keeping her eyes open at her phone’s GPS, she could be asking herself a million things right now but didn’t, knowing it wasn’t the best idea, she had to find Adore: plain and simple.

Six minutes (four minutes gained) of driving lead her to indeed, what looked like a bus stop, an abandoned one near a park for children, not as if Adore would have much fun in the rain doing that. “Adore!” She screamed without even thinking, rolling down her window quickly before screeching the brake and parking the car after she rolled up the window, putting a towel over the shotgun seat before the younger singer jumped in, “Please go, please, please.” She seemed out of breath and was definitely soaking wet, her hair all falling to her face and her mascara ruining.

Bianca stepped on it and handed her a jacket, “Jesus Christ, what the hell? Do I even wanna fucking know?” They stopped at the stoplight as her hands pressed the heating buttons, turning all the air towards Adore and making sure it was on a decently hot setting, Bianca would probably sweat to death in this car but hey: this was a part of the job in the end.

Adore burst into tears and the latino girl stared, unsure what she had said or what was going on, “I’m so sorry.” Was all she choked out before rubbing the mascara off on the towel, unapologetically though Bianca could always buy a new one or just wash it if she wasn’t a lazy ass. “Don’t be, don’t even talk about, we’re gonna go back to my place and you’re gonna take a shower, change and then we can talk."

She nodded silently, whimpering like a puppy into the towel, Bianca feeling bloody murder go through her head thinking about the possibilities, she might just commit a murder or three tonight if it was anything related to a single person who had may or may not hurt Adore, she had no clue who but she’d find out somehow.

They got into her house and Adore watched Bianca close the door and give a thumbs up, adjusting her own jacket on Adore Delano, who had yet to even adjust to the pressures of fame and every day was simply knee deep in stress but for almost four weeks she had Bianca every day at her side helping, being hilariously bitter and kind and occasionally brutually honest beyond realization.

"We don’t have to talk about it but just let your friend know you’re here, I don’t want her to worry, you can of course stay overnight, I don’t expect you to go back to the new house and unpack tonight."

"You should shower.” She mumbled, adding the words before taking the coat off Adore gently, the younger girl feeling herself almost unable to breathe, she hesitated before quickly leaning in and grabbing Bianca, by her wrist and kissing her, no thoughts even necessary. Bianca felt her entire face flush but let it happen, of course she was wanting it to happen for days but not as if their positions and jobs made it easy to talk about, neither was the fact that Bianca promised herself to not let romance get in the line of her work.

“Adore we’re…” She grumbled her speech, angry that this had to happen already, she just wanted to avoid all feelings and hide everything long as possible, “We work together and—"

"God, please shut up and kiss me you hag."

The words had a nasty edge but not like anything they ever said to eachother was taken too seriously, Bianca spoke about her feelings to Shea and Katya consistently and to Courtney as well but she didn’t expect Adore to take such director action though, this was Adore Delano.

Despite the hesitation in Bianca’s response they attracted like magnets and kissed again, Adore running her fingers through her hair as Bianca felt her hands touch her cheeks, freezing cold but she knew that wasn’t important.

They clinged needing this to finally happen badly.

However, Bianca felt her entire heart sink in nothing but guilt and pulled away: covering her mouth, for the first time ever too stunned to speak, "No talking, not now, you’re super cold, shower.” The obvious disappointment in Adore’s face was enough for her to scoff and angrily wave Bianca off, knowing where to go and what to do anyway.

A breath in and a breath out as Adore shut the door loud as possible, groaning from the bathroom as she turned on the shower.

Well shit

#rpdr fanfiction #bianca del rio #adore delano #sasha velour #shea coulee #biadore #sashea #katya zamolodchikova #trinity taylor #mention of trixya #lesbian au #celebrity au #roza #living on the edge of the law #submission #concrit welcome

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rosyredlipstick · 6 years

Note

You mentioned you loved YOI and read some good fanfic for it!! Would you mind recommending me some, maybe..?? :')

This took longer then I meant but im real serious bout my yoi fics. gets kinda long so under the cut!

Okay currently the fics im obsessed with -

Fics I rec:

The princess diaries au that has me SCREAMING WITH EVERY UPDATE OMG it has such an amazing aesthetic and plot and i ADORE all the characters and this victor???? Wow. amazing.

Seek those who fan your flames by @ebenroot

summary :

Yuuri gets hand-delivered a black-print T-shirt by one of his bodyguards on Friday. There’s a small sticky note attached to the collar in Victor’s handwriting that reads: ‘Our new band shirt! Logo is still a work in progress. Name too. But it’s a start! Let me know what you think after school. - Victor’

There’s a heart next to his name that is hastily scribbled out. Then another heart next to that one, like Victor decided to put it in anyways.

Yuuri thinks he’s in love.

–

in which Yuuri is a teenager that’s actually a prince, and Victor is a teenager with a band that just wants to listen to rock music with him

i love yurio here’s a fic with him prominently i love it

along with the popular fandom troupes of pining viktor and secretly caring yurio, there’s the troupe of yuuri being a beautiful idiot without realizing it i love them all

in wine we trust by @fireblazie

summary:

Yuri peers into the expanse of the apartment and finds a single, flickering light in the kitchen. He stealthily tiptoes across the floor with the baseball bat clutched tightly in his fists, only to find that, what the hell, this bastard is actually fucking raiding his fridge.

“That’s my pirozhki, asshat!” he snarls, ready to swing his bat when the intruder turns around.

Shit, Yuri thinks. It’s Beautiful International Student Yuuri Katsuki.

IM A BITCH FOR OFFICE AUS. LIKE. OH MY GOD.

I seriously adore everyone in this fic. Omg. ive read it so many times at this point it’s unbelievable. Wow.

the season of the spirits by counterheist / @kixboxer

summary:

Yuuri wakes up to one hell of a headache, a tie he doesn’t recognize knotted around his wrist, and two fistfuls of banknotes cradled to his chest.

An AU about cubicles, and the people who work in them.

THIS IS CURRENTLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE FICS EVER IT’S A STAR TREK AU MY GOOOOOOD I LOVE IT!!!!

everything here is amazing omg captain viktor and first officer yuuri with heavy heavy pining omggggggg yaaaas

To Boldly Go by @xyloophones

summary:

“Yuuri!” Viktor calls. “I’ve come to rescue you!”

Yuuri stares at him blankly. He gestures to the various unconscious space pirates with his recently discharged phaser.

“Oh, Captain,” he deadpans. “Save me.”

Or:

A year in the life of badass science officer Yuuri Katsuki, Captain Viktor “Team Mom” Nikiforov, and simultaneously the best crew and worst crew in Starfleet history.

ok so this next fic isnt finished BUT it’s the funniest fic i’ve ever read in this fandom. omfg. i was laughing so hard at every chapter pls read. it’s a speed dating au AND IT’S HILARIOUS also there’s phichit\seung-gil in this which i didn’t even know was a thing\didn’t ship UNTIL THIS FIC IT’S JUST A SIDE PAIRING BUT I LOOOOVE IT AND BOTH OF THEM

Speed Dating (Let’s Take it Slow) by @apalettefullofyou

summary:

“Why like this?” Yuuri asks, breaking the silence.

Phichit grins. “Because desperate times call for desperate measures. And if you haven’t noticed, we’re desperate.“

Tired of watching Georgi mull over his recent breakup, Viktor and the gang take him speed dating, hoping one of the twenty-something strangers could help fill the hole in his heart.

Now if only he could stop crying.

u like royal au?????? am i bout to blow your MIND

this is THE royal fic. so so so good. gods. the characterization. the pining. the povs. everyone is written so well OH MY GOD ITS SO GOOD.

The Rules for Lovers by @adreamingsongbird

Prince Yuuri Katsuki has a duty to his country, above all else (his desires, his dreams, and his happiness included), and he knows this alliance will help to ensure the safety of his people. That’s the only reason he accepts Prince Nikiforov’s hand in marriage. The pleasant surprise, of course, is the part where they fall in love along the way. The unpleasant one, well…

That’s a long story.

I went through a superheroes phase and this fandom is the best enabler. Pls check out this superhero series, like, even if you’re not that big of a fan. It’s so wonderful throughout and intriguing and god, the plot sucks you in so well. The characters and their powers are handled so well and tbh im so invested

The Yuuri!!! On fire series by @hinatella

Summary:

A detailed exposé of what working with an ex-villain is like, as told by a very distraught Yuuri Katsuki. (P.S.: it isn’t the fact that he’s an ex-villain that Yuuri is close to losing his mind.)

so! cute! domestic life after yuuri and viktor move back to russia!! so cute!!! omg!!!!

Safety Hazards in St. Petersburg by @lucycamui

summary:

In which Yuuri moves in with Victor in St. Petersburg and Victor discovers just how distracting living with him can be.

Alternatively titled, How Many Ways Can Victor Hurt Himself? or Idiots in Love

Authors I advise to immediately read everything they produce because fUCK

Ebenroot - they wrote the princess diaries fic above but jfc. Jfc. there’s so much more. They’re doing a fairy tale au that i scream into a pillow every time it updated. Everything they write is just so purely GOOD dear GODS

Xylophones i recced their star trek series above BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE! They did a halloween week of fics that im still obsessed with (GO READ MOONSTRUCK PLEASEEEE!!!) so there’s a ton more to check out!!!

Thehandsingsweapon / @handsingsweapon *opens coat* u want some wonderfully developed characters? Some of that good character development shit?? The best parents i’ve ever read for sir victor nikiforov?????? Literally please read these fics for the pure existence of victor’s wonderful lesbian mothers. God. its all i want in life and i have to live vicariously through these fics.

Spookyfoot / @spookyfoot if for some odd reason you dont have the time/will to read 30 wonderful yoi fics, for the love of god please read their spy/mistaken identity fic. God please. It’s been months since i got the notification email for it and i STILL LAUGH FROM THE THOUGHT OF IT. so good. im in love.

okay okay, it’s sunday night and im using this to stall doing my homework but i should go now. let me know if you want anymore!! lol it might take awhile for me to finally answer the ask but ill get to it!!!

#fic recs #yuri on ice #yoi #my asks #anon #rosy answers

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theofficialcunt · 7 years

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Simplicité - Chapter 1 {Biadore}

Hi everyone! I’ve had this idea in my head for awhile, and I’ve decided that this is going to be my main focus for the time being. I’m going to try my best to update this every Wednesday night/Early Thursday morning.

This is a lesbian AU, set in Chicago during present day. Bianca, 26, is a successful business owner of the fabulous Simplicité Salon & Spa. Adore, 21, is her new personal assistant/makeup apprentice from Southern California. The two are close in age but couldn’t be more different, but they might end up surprising one another as they get to know each other, as well as themselves. Adore and Bianca are both on their own paths to acheiving personal growth, and have the help of Courtney, Bob, Farrah, and more. 😽 This will have a few side ships, and I already have it partially outlined because well, some of these experiences actually happened to me personally.

This is mainly a teaser chapter, its 3.9k so somewhat lengthy so I really hope you enjoy!!

“Goodbye Mom!”

Adore was dressed in her signature red flannel, ripped shorts, and ripped tights, embracing her mom tightly in the middle of LAX. Her mom squeezed her back extra hard, rubbing her floppy straw hat and kissing her forehead one last time.

“Do you have to do this Adore?” Bonnie asked tearfully, moving a strand of fire engine red hair behind her ear.

Adore gulped, nodding solemnly as she clutched her hello kitty bag.

“Yeah mom. I do. It’s for the best.”

Adore had been in a slump since her high school days. She was stuck in an economic wasteland, known more commonly as southern california. She had a hard three years; from trying and failing to complete community college, to not being able to get a job due to her lack of experience, and on top of that being a raging lesbian with no love life in sight.

She had been desperate for change. She had tried everything from joining a baseball league, to partying in downtown LA by herself, to even trying to make friends through a stupid app called Bumble.

It wasn’t until she began looking online at the job boards, for any sort of opportunity that stuck out to her - where she unexpectedly found a new adventure.

Wanted: Personal Assistant & Apprentice in Makeup Artistry at Simplicité Salon and Spa

Salary will be contingent on candidates ability to perform daily tasks effectively, such as: heavy lifting, graphic design, answering phone calls, managing social media, greeting clients, and participation in off site events. Candidate must be able to work weekends, weekdays, and long shifts, as well as multi-task effectively. They must be open minded, and willing to learn new things daily. Experience not necessary. Room in house will be included as a part of employment, due to unpredictable demands and long hours.

Location: Chicago, IL

“Mom!” Adore yelled, as she ran down the stairs excitedly. She ran around the corner to the kitchen, where Bonnie was preparing Chilé Quilles.

“Yes?” Bonnie asked, lips pursed patiently as she waited for her youngest daughter to tell her what was happening.

“There’s this job opportunity and I think I’m going to go for it!” Adore exclaimed, jumping up and down wildly. She didn’t know why, but when she saw the job posting she got the chills - and just felt like it was a good fit. But she didn’t want to apply for it without her mom’s approval.

“That’s great baby!” Bonnie squealed, clapping her hands relieved. “Where is it at? And what will you be doing?”

“See the thing is, is that the job will be in Chicago but I think it’d be totally cool for me to get out of California for awhile!” Adore said nonchalantly , twisting a red curl around her finger. “I’d be a personal assistant for a fancy ass salon though, and I’d get to do makeup!”

“Chicago?” Bonnie frowned, turning the flame off on the stove. She turned to face Adore with sad eyes. “Why do you want to move so far away?”

“Mom,” Adore sighed, frustrated. “I don’t, but it’d be totally temporary and I’d get to live in a brand new state! The job is an amazing oppurtunity, once in a lifetime-”

“Where will you stay? How will you afford rent? And groceries? Adore it’s not as simple as you’re making it-”

“A room to rent is included if I get the job. Apparently my new boss would need me at random times, which means I’d need to be at her disposal at all times.” Adore explained.

“That sounds a bit sketchy. Are you sure this is a legit listing?” Bonnie raised an eyebrow as she handed Adore a plate.

“I thought the same thing, but I looked on the salon’s website as well and the same listing is there. Did you know that it’s one of the top 5 salon and spas in the midwest?”

“No, because I don’t even know the name of the spa mija. We live in California, not Illinois.” Bonnie deadpanned.

“Oh it’s called Simplicité.” Adore said, unknowingly failing to do a horrible french accent. She shoveled the chile quilles into her mouth as her mom pondered silently over the news.

Of course for Bonnie, the move was going to be hard - especially since Adore is the last one left at home. But, she knew Adore was miserable here in Southern California, and maybe the change of scenery wouldn’t be such a bad idea for her.

Adore had been through alot in the last 3 years, and Bonnie had watched all of the unfortunate events happen to her. First it was the ruthless bullying for her alternative fashion sense, which Bonnie will silently admit wasn’t the best. Adore had been bullied so much, she had ended up dropping out of high school and going to continuation school instead.

Then there was the community college incident. She had decided to go to school for psychology, and ended up dropping out after one semester. She hated it, despised how she felt lost within the crowd and ended up trying to find a job instead.

Adore was into makeup, there was no secret about that. Bonnie would come home to her sitting cross legged in front of her laptop, practicing a smokey eye or contouring and highlighting. It was one of the only times she would ever see a smile on her daughter’s face. She had attempted to get a job at MAC in the mall, but she ended up getting cut because of -you guessed it: her interview attire.

Adore was young, and if this spa was willing to give her a chance - then she should go for it. Despite how hard it would be on Bonnie as a new empty nester.

“I think it’s a great idea.” Bonnie finally admitted, looking sternly into her 21 year old’s eyes.

“Yay! Thanks mom!” Adore squealed, tackling Bonnie into a bear hug before she ran back up the stairs.

A few weeks later

“Hello Miss Delano, this is Bianca from Simplicité. After careful review of your application and resume, I would like to extend an official offer of employment to you. I was very impressed with your charisma and charm over the phone, and think you would be a great fit for our team. Please give me a call back if you are still interested in the position. You would begin your employment on June 16th, and your airfare will be taken care of as a courtesy since you had mentioned how costly it is. Thank you and have a nice day.”

Adore dropped her phone in stunned silence as she realized it was happening. It was all real now.

She was finally going to have a chance at happiness again.

—————-

“Call me as soon as you land okay? I love you mija, show them all what a kickass chola you are.” Bonnie gave her a kiss one last time, before watching her daughter walk through the shiny glass doors of LAX. Adore looked back one last time, tearfully as she waved goodbye to her mom.

Her mom had been her best friend all throughout childhood. They had done everything together from the time she was born up until this very day, her moving day.

A part of her still couldn’t believe she was going through with this, who just packs all of their shit and moves 2,000 miles across the country? Who applies for a job in Chicago when they live in Southern California? Apparently Adore Delano does.

It was hard leaving her mom by herself, but she knew if she were to stay - she would never move out of her mom’s house and become independent. She would stay there forever, and never find someone to be with, and never get over all of the past trauma she had to deal with.

“Flight 329 to Chicago, boarding in 5 minutes.” The stewardess announced from the terminal. Adore shuffled across the airport, scurrying as she cut a dozen people in line to get through security.

“Miss, you can’t cut me!” An angry old man yelled.

“I have a plane to catch and if I miss it, my entire life will be ruined. Do you really want to fuck up my destiny man? It’s already bad enough mercury is in retrograde right now.” Adore snapped back bitterly.

“I could give two shits about your life and your planets!”

“Fuck off!” Adore yelled, throwing the middle finger up defiantly as she was ushered through security from TSA. She tore her converse off quickly and shoved her purse in a plastic bin, throwing her middle finger up again as she heard the old man muttering obscenities to himself. A guard pushed her gently into the full body scanner, telling her to hold still.

Stepping out of the scanner, she grabbed her bag and shoes quickly and began running towards her gate. She was slipping on the linolueum as her tights rubbed against the shiny surface. She cursed herself as she slowed down to a brisk walk, locating her gate and making a run for it.

“Group B, please stand up and get in line.”

Adore looked down at her ticket, and noticed she was group A. Fuck! She had missed her group. The odds of her getting a window seat now were slim to none. She ran made it to her gate, just in time for the stewardess to begin scanning all of Group B’s tickets. She slowly followed the line of group B’s and finally made it onto the plane, barefoot and all.

She looked around frantically, hoping she would find a window seat near the front. Luckily, she managed to slip into one near the wing. She sighed, excusing herself as she climbed over the overweight man and the small blonde teenager who couldn’t’ve been more than 15 to get to it. She slid her purse underneath the seat, and sighed in relief. She had made it. She was on the plane and she was about to start her new life.

She wouldn’t be arriving to Chicago until late at night, around 11:30 to be accurate. The flight was 5 hours from SoCal, which was the longest non stop flight she had ever been on. She pulled her ipod out of her pocket and popped the earbuds in, as she leaned her head back in the seat and drifted off peacefully.

————-

“It is 11:45 pm currently in Chicago, thank you so much for flying with us tonight. Goodnight!”

Adore rubbed her eyes sleepily as she woke up to the bright fluorescent airplane lights. She had slept the whole time! That was actually really nice! As she began to get up, a flash of light illuminated the airplane from outside.

It was storming outside?

Thunder cracked loudly overhead, causing Adore to jump - and she hurriedly grabbed her purse and phone.

2 new messages

Bianca: I’m downstairs by the baggage claim. I have red hair. I’m also holding a sign with your name on it, hopefully you won’t miss me.

Sassy, Adore thought. She scrolled to the next message and smiled.

Bianca: Your flight was clearly delayed due to the weather. You’re going to experience your first midwestern storm tonight.

Adore hated storms with all of her heart. They hardly ever got them in SoCal, but when they did she would refuse to go anywhere because of how unpredictable the lightning was. She put her converse back on and scurried out of the airplane quickly, doing her best to not look scared as she followed the crowd towards baggage claim.

A wave of nervousness washed over her. As she looked for Bianca, she couldn’t help but wonder why she was chosen for the job. She had no previous work experience, and on top of that Bianca had to pay for her flight out here.

She wondered how her new boss looked. Was she tall? Short? Fat? As she pondered it, she realized she had made it to baggage claim, and that there was a short red headed woman near the corner with her name on a piece of paper.

Adore gulped as she walked over to her timidly, holding her purse close to her.

“Ah, you must be Adore.” Bianca smiled, folding the piece of paper and putting it in her black purse. “I’m Bianca, it’s nice to meet you.”

Adore shook her hand softly and smiled shyly. Bianca was much prettier than she imagined, and much more intimidating. She was dressed in a sheer high low black strapless dress, a cardigan with a silver brooch on it, and black pumps. Her makeup was done heavily, and her sleek strawberry hair was tightly styled into a bun on the side of her head.

Adore was kicking herself for not dressing up, as she stared down at her worn black converse and ripped tights. She felt vulnerable now.

“God, you call that a handshake?” Bianca scoffed, “Try again, and this time try not to let your hand flop in mine lazily.”

Adore’s eyes widened, shocked at her crassness. She gripped her hand firmly again, shaking it with confidence as she met her beady brown eyes. She was tired, the heavy makeup distracted an untrained eye from it - but Adore found it easy to see through that.

“Long day?” Adore asked, studying Bianca’s eyes carefully. A look of surprise flashed across her face for just a moment, before she composed herself.

“Everyday is a long day when you’re a business owner.” Bianca said, plastering on a smile. “Grab your bags and let’s go. We need to get home, especially since we have an early start tomorrow.”

An early start? They were starting her training already? Wow, not even a one day’s break, Adore thought. She wasn’t expecting to be thrown in immediately.

Bianca smirked at the younger girls panicked expression. Clearly she didn’t realize she would be starting so soon.

“There’s no rest for the wicked, Miss Delano. We have a lot of work to do.” Bianca said, studying her new peer. She had dry, brittle, red hair that looked like it needed a brush ran through it six months ago, as well as 5 or 6 other products. Her choice in fashion was… interesting to say the least. Definitely still trying to make a statement, she noticed as she scanned the mismatched prints of her flannel and polka dot tank top.

Once Adore grabbed her bags, they settled into Bianca’s suv - a Hyundai Santa Fe with a couple of various items littered in the backseat.

“Is that..a nightstand?” Adore asked confused as they loaded the last bag into the trunk.

“I like to get crafty,” Bianca smiled toothily. “That’s actually one of your projects for tomorrow. I’m looking to switch up the spa a little bit.”

“Great.” Adore said as enthusiastically as she could for someone who had been traveling all day. She was suddenly exhausted, finally feeling the impact of her day.

“Don’t worry, we’re gonna be home shortly.” Bianca comforted as they pulled out of the airport parking lot.

Adore surprisingly dozed off as Bianca drove through the city, despite the storm. When the car finally stopped moving, Adore jolted up noticing that they were parked in another parking garage.

“This is where you live?” Adore asked, bewildered.

“Where WE live.” Bianca corrected, opening the trunk as she grabbed one of Adore’s bags. Adore stretched her arms outwards before she got up, flipping her red hair over her shoulder nervously.

She stepped out of the car, feeling the sticky humidity grab her skin. The rain had stopped, but left it overly humid. “Gross.” Adore muttered quietly under her breath as she grabbed her bags.

“Get used to it. This is pretty common here.” Bianca chuckled, leading the way to the elevator, where there was an attendant standing inside.

“Good evening. Late night Miss Del Rio?” The blonde perky attendant, Alisha asked.

“Yes. I had to grab my new roommate from the airport.” Bianca smiled widely, elbowing Adore.

“Welcome to Chicago, Adore. I’m here in the evenings, for your convenience.” Alisha smiled at Adore. “ Floor six right?”

“Correct.” Bianca responded, as they settled into the elevator.

It was silent in the elevator as they awaited their floor. The two women were both exhausted, Bianca was amused at the younger girl’s attire. She was about to be in for the transformation of a lifetime. She wanted so bad to touch her hair, to see what exactly she would be working with, but the elevator dinged indicating that they had reached their floor.

“Good evening.” Alisha nodded, watching as the two women exited with their collection of luggage.

Bianca’s heels clacked on the marble tile in the hallway. This was a very nice building, Adore thought. Much nicer than anything she had ever been used to.

Bianca stopped in front of their apartment, a giant 305 was sprawled across the dark wooden door in elegant gold cursive.

“This is us.” Bianca chimed, unlocking the door with ease.

As Bianca sauntered into the home, Adore stopped and stared as she took in all of the sights around her.

In the entry way was a beautiful antique chandelier, it had to be a couple of hundred years old at least. But that’s not all. Bianca had pictures sprawled across the narrow hallway - pictures of her with famous people, in front of the salon on opening day next to a very attractive blonde and a sassy looking black guy wearing a fedora.

“That’s Courtney.” Bianca mused, watching Adore study the picture closely. “She’s a cunt.”

Adore laughed, surprised at her ubrupt description of Courtney. “You’re always one to keep it classy aren’t you?”

“Well of course. A southern belle like me always minds her manners.” Bianca said sarcastically.

Adore let out a long hearty laugh as she closed the front door behind her, settling into the hallway. Her jaw dropped at another picture, eyes widened with envy.

Bianca froze when she saw her gazing in awe at one of the pictures in particular.

“Ah, you must have found one of my celebrity meet and greet photos.” Bianca smirked, closing the distance to see which picture she had discovered.

“I can’t believe you got to meet Anna Nicole. She was my idol.” Adore gushed, tracing her hand longingly over the picture frame.

Confused, she looked up at the girl. How did she even know who she was? She wasn’t that old.

“Aren’t you only 18?” Bianca asked confused.

“I’m 21.” Adore said hesitantly. “Didn’t you see my age on my background check?”

Oh. That meant she was only 5 years her junior. She acted much younger than her age, which really threw her off. She would be lying if she said she didn’t envy the young latina’s genes, she had smooth porcelain skin and bright blue eyes that dazzled. Her hair was a choice, but that was an easy fix. It was really too bad that she was hiding all of her natural beauty underneath the giant dry heap of red hair.

“I guess I should have. Well great.” Bianca said, taking the rest of her bags. “Let me show you to your room. I’m fucking tired.”

Adore raised her eyebrows as she followed her down the long hallway. Their rooms were across from each other, she discovered that Bianca’s door was closed.

As they entered the chic room, Adore was in shock. It was much bigger than the room she had lived in at home. She had a large window next to her bed; that had a great view of downtown Chicago. On top of that, her bed had brand new comforters, string lights hung around the vicinity, and scented candles from bath and body works were littered on her bedside table. As well as a notepad, a journal, and a planner.

“I got my inspiration from tumblr.” Bianca grinned, “You like?”

“Bitch, I fucking LOVE this! It’s totally me.” Adore squealed, kicking her shoes off and letting her feet sink into the shaggy black rug in the middle of the room.

“You might have noticed the notebook and planner on your bedside table.” Bianca cleared her throat uncomfortably. She didn’t know Adore very well yet, but felt weird about switching the conversation to a more business like setting. “You’re going to need to take notes. In the car, at work, wherever I am.”

“Notes? Why?” Adore asked.

“Well,” Bianca started, sitting on the edge of the black and white checkered bed. “You see, my mind goes a million miles an hour. And sometimes on a whim, I’ll get a really good idea and forget all of the specifics about it. So at any given moment, I’m going to need you to take notes as soon as I say basically. As you get to know me, you’ll know when my mind will start to go off the rails and when to start writing.”

Holy shit. Not even here for an hour, and Bianca was already telling her her expectations. It was midnight for fucks sake. Adore could barely process the fact that she was in a luxury apartment in the middle of Chicago, let alone taking notes and listening to every word Bianca says.

“Also,” Bianca continued, not waiting for a response. She grabbed the planner from the side table and placing it in Adore’s hands. “This is really important. My schedule is constantly changing, and I’ll need you with me pretty much at all times. You are basically my scheduler. This is where all of my meetings, appointments, etc should go.”

Adore nodded numbly, thumbing through the pages quickly to see how much room exactly she would have to write things out. She was a very detailed person when it came to notes, unfortunately the planner did not have very much room. It was going to be quite an adjustment.

“Dress code is black, white and grey only.” Bianca stated, eyeing Adore’s suitcases suspiciously. She had a feeling she hardly had anything appropriate for working in a salon, but she decided for now she would give her the benefit of the doubt.

“Also, hair and makeup needs to be done. I wont let you go into work with frizzy hair.” Bianca let her eyes linger on the wild red mane before moving on. “While I’m cutting and styling hair, you’ll be working the front desk. You need to look like a 10 at all times, got it? We work in the beauty industry, not the ugly industry.”

This was a lot to take in. Adore could feel herself getting overwhelmed. Bianca had a lot of strict rules and expectations for her. She couldn’t blame her, if her apartment was this nice she could only imagine how upscale the salon looked as well. She had to do her best to fit the bill.

She was feeling very insecure and very unprepared. She thought a couple of nice pairs of black pants would suffice, but she was starting to feel like that wouldn’t be enough for Bianca’s standards.

“A response to any of this would be nice.” Bianca snapped, rolling her eyes.

“Sorry. It’s just a lot to take in.” Adore gulped.

“You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.” Bianca chuckled to herself, standing up. “I’ll let you go to sleep. Gotta get up bright and early tomorrow. We’re out the door at 8:00. I expect you’ll dazzle me with your first day outfit.”

“I’ll do my best man. Goodnight Bianca.” Adore smiled weakly.

Bianca flashed a tight smile before she walked out of the room, closing the door behind her.

There was no doubt about it.

Adore was fucked

#biadore #simplicité #chapter 1 #au #multi chap

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artificialqueens · 6 years

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Lipstick and Perfume 2 (Sashea) - North

AN: Hi I’m North, I’m glad you guys enjoyed the first chapter. Thank you for the feedback.

Summary: Lipstick City inspired lesbian AU. Sasha’s husband has been cheating on her, and Shea helps her get even.

Sasha wakes up in a bed that isn’t her own.

“Morning.” A warm voice says from the doorway, and Sasha’s eyes are met with the longest legs she’s ever seen. The woman has long black hair that’s placed behind her shoulders and she’s wearing a baseball tee and pyjama shorts.

Where is she? Sasha looks around the room, taking in the peach walls decorated with framed pictures. She recognizes the stranger in the doorway in the pictures, along with many other people. Some of the photos are of them laughing, and others are serious. It’s strange, in this digital age, for someone to have so many printed pictures.

“You should drink some water.” The vaguely familiar woman says, handing Sasha a glass as she sits up in bed.

“What time is it?” Sasha asks, taking a sip and wincing when the ice hits her sensitive teeth. The pain spikes through to right behind her eyes.

“It’s almost four pm.”

“God!” Sasha gasps.

“Yeah, you were pretty out of it last night.” The woman takes a seat at the foot of the bed where Sasha’s feet don’t quite reach. “Do you remember anything?”

“Vaguely.”

“Wanna enlighten me on ‘vaguely’?” She smiles widely and her white teeth are at slightly different angles in her gums.

“I remember going to the bar, buying a few drinks. I remember a man with horrible breath. And you… helped me throw up in the toilet?”

“Wow, I sure am glad you remember me wiping vomit off your face but not getting you away from that creep.”

Sasha bites her lip. “Sorry…” She can remember flashes of things, and she’s not sure they’re in order. She certainly doesn’t remember going home—or rather being brought here.

“I’m joking, girl.” The woman smiles again, chuckling deeply. “And do you remember my name?” she asks expectantly.

Sasha scrunches her eyebrows together to think. She’s got this. “Sherry?”

“Close!” The girl–Sasha thinks of her as a girl now, without her makeup–laughs out loud. “Shea. Shea Couleé .”

“Right, Shea. Fuck, I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok, I wouldn’t expect you to remember much. How are you feeling?”

“My head hurts like hell.”

“I’m not surprised.” Shea reaches over to the bedside table and hands Sasha her phone. “You’ve got a couple missed calls, but I figured you needed the rest.”

“Fuck.” Sasha says as she views the notifications on the phone. “It was my husband.” She can’t quite bring herself to unlock it. There are two voicemails and three missed calls. That’s more interaction within a single night than she feels they’ve had in weeks.

“Pietr?” Shea asks.

“Ah, I told you about him?”

“Not much.”

“What did I say?”

Shea bites her plump bottom lip, eyes falling away from Sasha’s gaze.

“Please, anything you say will be better than what I think I could have said.”

“You just said something about him ‘fucking his sidepiece’.” Shea says with a pitying smile. “It was hard to understand you through the mumbling.”

“Well I guess that’s pretty bad.” Sasha admits.

“Yeah…”

“I should really go, shouldn’t I? I can’t thank you enough and I’d like to apologize for being such a goddamn mess.” Sasha pulls herself up off the bed, suddenly feeling terribly embarrassed. She’s never been out of control, and it’s as if this stranger knows more about Sasha than she’s ever been willing to admit about herself.

“Hey, it’s ok. We can all be a mess sometime.” Shea says calmly, a contrast to Sasha’s frenetic reaction. “You don’t need to go, I made coffee and you could probably use something to eat now that you’ve slept all day.”

“I don’t want to be more of a burden than I already have been. I’m sorry you had to bring me here.” She feels bad. This girl, Shea, surely has better things to do than watch over her. She shouldn’t have had to take care of Sasha at all. Stupid.

“I was worried about you, to be honest. And it’s no burden, please stay.”

Shea offers her a t-shirt and jeans, which Sasha is grateful to change into. The pants are too big but with a few rolls at the ankle, they’re manageable. Her suit jacket is a wrinkled, stained mess so the white t-shirt is much nicer.

She stares at herself in the mirror trying to piece her memories of yesterday together. She washes the mascara stains from under her eyes, as well as the rest of her smudged makeup. She hasn’t been bare-faced in someone else’s company in years and her hot pink bra is very visible under the translucent fabric covering her chest. This whole situation is so unlike her, drinking to oblivion, ending up in a stranger’s house. It’s reckless, irresponsible.

She steps back into the bedroom and Shea is there with a cup of coffee. Sasha takes it gratefully, noticing a first aid kit on the bedside table. She looks up at Shea and raises an eyebrow.

“Oh I didn’t end up using it.” Shea assures her. “I’ll be honest, I was worried you’d been drugged. I called someone just to make sure you weren’t showing signs of overdose. They told me to let you sleep it off. Do you remember deliberately taking anything?”

A shiver runs through Sasha’s body. “No…”. She may not have been herself, but she knows she wouldn’t have. Had she been that visibly off?

“I’m not trying to scare you, I’m sorry.” Shea interrupts her thoughts.

“No, it’s ok. I should be more careful.” And what if Shea hadn’t been there? How stupid of her, to get into a situation like that.

“C’mon, I made toast.” Shea changes the subject. “That’s about as close to cooking as I can get.”

They settle down in Shea’s kitchen and Sasha finds her stomach rumbling with hunger. She puts butter on her toast and watches Shea slather on a generous layer of butter, followed by a layer of strawberry jam. It’s the kind of decadence that she would have enjoyed as a child, but seems wholly unnecessary now. Can Shea even taste the butter through the sugary sweetness of strawberries?

“You’re an actress, right?” Shea questions.

“Yeah.” Sasha replies, taking a bite of toast.

“I’ll be honest, I didn’t recognize you yesterday, but then your name and face matched up today.” Shea smiles. “Can you tell me, is Sasha Velour your real name?”

“Haha, not the last name. I have a Russian last name but Velour suited me once I came to America to act.” She’d picked it from a movie character of one of the only American films she’d seen as a child.

“You have just the slightest accent, I should have known.”

“I’ve tried so hard to loose it.” Sasha blushes.

“It’s endearing… A bit Dietrich, right?” Shea pauses. Sasha considers bringing up that Marlene Dietrich was German, not Russian, but decides against it. “Do you like it? The movie business?” Shea continues.

“I do.” Sasha says without meeting Shea’s eyes.

“Really?”

“I like the work, I really do. But everything that comes with it, it’s a lot sometimes. I went to school, I was a Fulbright scholar in Russia, but here they treat me like I don’t know anything. I’m just a woman in front of a camera.”

“I can’t imagine what it would be like to be famous.”

“I’m not, even. But there’s pressure to do everything perfectly and obviously, as you’ve seen, I’m far from perfect.” She laughs bitterly. “Life’s not everything it’s cut out to be.” Sasha swirls the spoon in her coffee mug, falling silent.

“I’m sorry about your husband.” Shea finally says. She’s probably sensed Sasha’s sadness.

“I mean, it is what it is, isn’t it? It’s not like we’re soulmates, I’ve always known that.”

“Why did you marry the asshole, anyways?”

“It made sense, socially, at the time. In fact, my agent suggested it. I was very green when I moved from Russia, and the only publicity I was getting were rumours of promiscuity, nothing about my talent. People said I was sleeping with almost everyone in the business.”

“Were you?”

“That’s my secret to keep.” Sasha says in a sultry voice, giving Shea a wink. “But no, I wasn’t. I got jobs here because of films I did back in Russia, not because of my sexual prowess.” Sasha softens her tone as she continues. “Pietr was kind enough, looking to settle, and he was successful, an editor for the New York Times and his parents owned half the city, which was the kind of power I needed on my side. I suppose I was young and naive; everything I dreamt of was about to come true, and I was infatuated with him, if anything. We were fond of each other, and it quelled the rumours.”

“It’s a fucking double standard, isn’t it? He can go fuck any bitch off the street and keep his job but they roped you in with him because of mere rumours?”

Sasha shrugs, but Shea has a point.

“Aren’t you angry?”

“Furious.” Sasha replies honestly.

“Are you? You seem so calm now.”

“I’m angry that he used me, that I let him use me. And maybe it was naive but I thought he loved me, or at least respected me.”

“Then do something about it.” Shea says. “Call him the fuck out! Don’t just let him treat you like that.”

“And what do you suggest I do, Miss Couleé?”

“Get even.”

——-

“Shea, there’s no way I can go out in this!” Sasha exclaims, holding up the leotard to her body. “And if someone recognizes me!”

“Relax… I’m telling you now the people you’ll meet won’t tell a soul if they do.” Shea puts her fingers to her temple and her long black hair comes off her head: a wig. Sasha never would have known. “Everyone will be dressed appropriately, so if you don’t want to stick out, you’ll take the clothes I gave you.”

Sasha retreats back to the bathroom, slipping the tight black garment onto her body. There are matching pvc boots and a blue faux fur jacket to accompany the outfit. She feels like a child putting on adult clothes.

“You look good, I swear.” Shea assures her as Sasha plays with the straps on the bodysuit.

Shea does her makeup, smoking out her eyes and overdrawing her lips with blood red lip liner. Her curly hair is slicked back, stick straight, and Sasha doesn’t recognize the woman in the mirror.

“Wow.” Sasha can’t think of anything else to say.

“You’ve been styled for magazines, this can’t be different.” Shea says, watching Sasha’s reflection.

“This isn’t my brand, I’ve never worn anything like this.”

“Forget about who you’re supposed to be. Be someone else for the evening.”

Shea disappears to change into a tight, low cut pink dress. It has a belt that accentuates her tiny waist. The hair she’s got now is like honey and curls at her shoulders. She looks beautiful.

Once they arrive, the entire club is filled with a cloud of smoke. The music is so loud that the bass echoes in Sasha’s chest, shaking her core. It’s dark, and tall figures sway to the music as a single unit, unrecognizable save for bright neon makeup and accessories that glow in the UV light.

“This is crazy Shea, I can’t believe I agreed to this.”

“I just want you to hear her out.”

Sasha fires off a text to her husband. She can’t have him worrying.

Sorry I forgot to text. Aja asked me to take care of her dog so I stayed at hers. Not sure when I’ll be back.

“Merci chérie.” Shea tells the bartender, taking two drinks in hand. She passes one to Sasha.

“Oh, I don’t know if I should.”

“It’s sprite.” She assures her, with a sad smile. “I wouldn’t want to drink either, for awhile.”

Sasha stands awkwardly, observing the neon madness, and Shea leads her over to a quiet corner with a table and a gentle lamp.

“You speak French?” Sasha changes the subject, not liking the way Shea seems to be able to see right through her.

“Yeah, I learned it when I was little.” Shea says nonchalantly, flipping her curls over her shoulder and sipping her drink. “I’m not just a banjee cunt you know.”

“I can tell you have many sides.” Sasha really takes a look at her. This is the Shea she vaguely remembers from last night, suave, gorgeous, in control, not the girl who woke her up and gave her no name brand ibuprofen this morning. The lamp light hits her skin just right, her cheekbones pop, her glossy lips pout, and the arch of her brow is just bitchy enough to be intriguing.

“You do too.” Shea tells her, with a smooth look.

“Hm?”

“Have more than one side.”

“Do I?” Sasha says doubtfully, taking a sip of her sprite.

“You’re telling me that you’re just a rule follower, a pretty face?”

“I’m an actress, I have to be those things.”

“Not with a brain like yours.”

“You sound like my mother.”

“And what do you think she’d say about all this?”

Sasha goes quiet. She knows her mother would have told her she deserves better, that she shouldn’t waste her potential, her intellect by living like this. “She’d say I’m too smart to be tied to a man like Pietr.”

“I like this woman already.”

“You would have, everyone did.” Sasha says fondly, but with a tinge of hurt.

“She’s dead.” Shea states, and her voice isn’t pitying and shocked like most people Sasha tells; it’s refreshing.

“Yeah, cancer. Almost a year ago now.”

“I get it, girl. Both my dad and my sister died recently too. Cancer.”

“God Shea, I’m sorry.” Sasha feels guilty. She’s barely heard about the other woman’s life, she’s been so preoccupied with her own problems. Losing her mother had been devastating, she can’t imagine losing two family members.

“It’s okay.” Shea says nonchalantly. “I mean, it’s not. It’s really fucking shitty, but I’m okay.”

“Yeah, I think I’m still trying to be.” Sasha says honestly. “I have a lot of regrets.” She falls quiet. Her mother had never met Pietr; she hadn’t been able to come to the wedding. Sasha had been to Russia to visit her only once while she was sick, near the end, but had been pulled away by responsibilities (a husband, a career) too quickly. The only other time she’d been since moving to America was for the funeral.

She falls out of her thoughts, glancing back at Shea as she remembers where they are. The awkwardness between them grows. Sasha finishes her sprite, the straw slurping at the half-melted ice cubes. They’re really just strangers.

“Do you want to dance?” Shea finally asks, breaking the silence.

Sasha’s face must betray her discomfort because Shea is quick to reassure her.

“It’s easy, I promise.”

She leads Sasha by the hand to the edge of the crowd. She feels so small in comparison to all of them. Shea faces her, moving her body gently to the beat of the music. Sasha tries to follow along, but mostly stumbles over her own feet.

“Here.” Shea says, putting her hands out as if asking if she can touch her. Sasha nods, swallowing awkwardly. “It’s all in the hips.” She gently touches Sasha’s waist, moving her side to side. “And bend your knees,” she adds.

Sasha feels like she’s starting to get it. She tries to convince herself that it’s no different than doing a movie. She’s had to pretend to be much more complex characters than a woman at the club. She rolls her shoulders back, letting her hair sway. She lets her body have power, and the anxiety drains away from her movements.

She glances again at the crowd, noticing people dancing closely together, an amalgamation of different and same-gender couples grinding hips as if they are all the same as anyone.

“Who are all these people?” She asks Shea.

“Somebodies who want to be nobodies, and nobodies who want to be somebodies.”

It’s a vague description, but Sasha thinks she understands. Her own identity has disappeared. It’s just her, Shea, and the music. They sway together, Sasha’s heartbeat races. Colours bounce off Shea’s skin as the lights move around them, flashes of pink and blue. Her jacket sleeve slides down to her elbow and she bares her pale shoulder. She’s having fun, lost in exhilaration.

Suddenly, Shea stops. Sasha tenses at the change, the charade falling away again faster than she’d put it on.

“Kim will see you now, Shea.” A woman with legs longer than Shea’s–if that’s even possible–approaches them. “And this is?”

“Naomi, this is Sasha.”

“Pleasure.” Naomi says, giving Sasha a forced smile and a once over. She can feel the woman’s eyes roaming over her body and she self-consciously pulls her coat back up, aware of her exposed cleavage like never before. Can she tell Sasha doesn’t belong here? An interloper in this bustle of beautiful fishnet-tight-clad aliens without a care in the world.

“She looks fun.” Naomi spits off to Shea as she leads them down a set of stairs at the back of the club. Shea shoots her a look and Sasha can’t read the silent conversation the two are having with their eyes.

Naomi pulls open a dark red velvet curtain, raising an eyebrow as Sasha passes her to enter.

Sasha would be lying if she said she didn’t have a moment, upon seeing Kim Chi and her crew, where she thought she was in too deep. For what must be the fifth time that day, she considers leaving.

The woman is larger than life. Big hair, big eyes, big lips. And she’s tall, her presence commands the room. Around her, people in costume, people who appear to Sasha as neither male nor female, but so polished that she can’t help but gasp. They watch her predatorily, as if they might scratch her eyes out if she gets too close.

“What have we got here?” Kim Chi asks Shea, glancing at Sasha but not meeting her eye.

Shea nods at Sasha, encouraging her to speak.

“I’m Sasha.” She tries to keep the bubbling anxiety from her voice.

“Let me guess, you’ve got a lover who’s mistreating you?”

“A cheat.” Shea pipes up. “And maybe more than that.”

Sasha bites her lip, glancing around the room before nodding.

Kim Chi stands from her velvet seat and her posse breathes with her as she moves. She approaches Sasha, circling around her once, agonizingly slow.

“Nothing like a broken heart, right Shea?”

“Quite right,” Shea answers quietly, tersely.

“You let yourself love him, and look what he did.” She addresses Sasha now. Sasha can smell the woman’s perfume she’s standing so close. The scent of geranium flushes her senses; it smells like her grandmother. “Men like that just can’t be trusted.”

Kim places her manicured fingers under Sasha’s chin, bringing her gaze up to meet hers. “How long?”

Sasha scrunches her eyebrow under the scrutiny. How long what? She wants to ask, but is too intimidated.

“How long have you been married?” Shea clarifies for her.

“Three years.” Sasha replies, grateful when Kim finally removes her hand.

“Will you help?” Shea asks, obviously a bit impatient with whatever game Kim is playing.

Kim takes a step back, addressing both of them.

“Make sure his guard is down.” She says coldly. “That’s when you strike.”

#lipstick and perfume #north #sashea #sasha velour #shea coulee #lesbian au #lipstick city au #rpdr fanfiction #submission

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