#fuck I hate it when allistics pull this shit

[go-go-devil]

Alright, this post here is mostly just me venting over some blatant ableism I witnessed in a reply to someone else’s Tumblr post, but this is a very important issue for me that I feel my white autistic self needs to address to any white allistics on here.

AUTISM DOES NOT “DULL” ONE’S UNDERSTANDING OF RACISM!

Whenever I see a post anywhere of some person talking about how “autistics need more help in understanding why blackface or whatever is racist” and that “they just don’t understand the implications of those things,” 9 times out of 10 it’s just some white allistic trying to use autistics as a means of justifying the continued presence of racist practices (usually framed in the form of a “gotcha” against a person of color trying to make a point about some racist practice that’s still going on today).

As a white autistic person, this ideology fucking infuriates me because it not only implies that I’m mentally inferior to my neurotypical peers when it comes to understand social problems like racism (good ol’ eugenics coming back again!), but also helps any proudly racist autistic whites out there justify their own shitty behavior. 

My disorder does not inherently make me a fucking asshole! I was able to understand how disturbing things like blackface and such were when I was a kid without needing anyone to carefully spoon-feed me info on why those things were awful, and I’m still doing my best to unlearn all the bigoted ideologies and practices my country brainwashed me into thinking was acceptable behavior. 

But of course, I’m just talking about myself here. I can only imagine how infuriating and tiring it must be for autistics of color to see allistics use their disorder to uphold this bullshit. Probably just another sad reminder that white allistics out there will do anything to avoid acknowledging their existence.

So basically fuck any neurotypical/allistic trying to frame autisics as people who are inherently incapable of unlearning racist practices on their own. That shit is ableist to the max!

White allistics reblog this immediately. Same with white autistics; we mustn’t tolerate any racists infecting our community!

#autism #actuallyautistic #racism cw #ableism cw #support autistics of color #autism stuff #important #fuck I hate it when allistics pull this shit #it's just another way of dehumanizing us #never tolerate this bullshit EVER!

[thechangeling]

Enough.

So a while ago I made a headcannon post about Ty's sexuality and the autistic exploration of sex and sexual desire. I have now written a fic about it. This ones for Alex @bedspells my very own Alyssa. Also side note I want to make it clear that yes, I still ship kitty 100%. But I've seen plenty of people write fics and headcannons about Kit exploring things with other people. There's no reason why Ty can't do the same.

Edit: Ok a long time ago this fic actually got a hate comment on Ao3 saying that I was erasing Ty's sexuality by having him hook up with a girl because he was cannonly gay due to a tweet CC made in 2013. Now I don't even have twitter and I wasn't a part of the fandom back then. Despite all of that I actually don't really consider that to be the basis of canon? And in the books he doesn't really express interest in anyone except for Kit. So as far as I'm concerned this was fair game. Not to mention gay people sometimes experiment before they realize they're gay. Especially autistic people!! And that was actually kind of the point of this fic. So maybe just keep that in mind going forward. Thanks!

Tw for mentions and discussions of sex.

Ty could count the instances he hadn't been bothered by another person's touch on one hand. This was certainly one of them. It was so late into the night it could certainly be considered the next morning. Anush, Ty and Alyssa had been doing research on Livvy and the effect she seemed to be having on a serge of demonic activity in the area.

Ty was fairly stressed about the possibility to say the least. It felt like everything was spilling away from him. Livvy, his family, his career.

Kit.

He really didn't want to think about Kit but it was difficult. It was like trying to ignore a bleeding wound that everyone kept referring to as a paper cut.

The shining lights in all of this were Anush and Alyssa. Befriending both of them had been the best part of coming to the scholomance.

Especially Alyssa.

Meeting someone who shared some of his thoughts, feelings and experiences was more then refreshing. It was liberating. Talking, laughing and crying with Alyssa about the things that no one else would understand was like a balm for Ty's soul.

At a certain point Anush had announced that he was retiring to bed and they should both probably do the same. Livvy was still floating around the room observing their work. But as time went on Ty had stopped paying as much attention to her. Now he was resting against Alyssa with his head in her lap. She was sitting on the couch in the library, carefully running her fingers through his hair and rambling on about something, Ty wasn't exactly sure what.

Ty reached up to wrap a lock of her long dark hair around his finger, then watched it spring back into place again. Alyssa's hair was wavy but not curly like- like some peoples. So it didn't spring and bounce very well. That was the interesting thing about Ali in general. So many parts of her dress and appearance were so neat and polished and well put together that Ty almost wondered what it would be like to see her more disheveled. What would it be like to grab and twist and pull until she was left with something that wasn't glossy perfect waves.

Ty panicked a little at that thought. Where exactly had that come from? He was now more then ever painfully aware of the fact that he was lying in an attractive person's lap. And his sister was still in the same room.

Ty looked up to search for Livvy but realized that she was gone. Guiltily he realized she could have been gone for awhile now. But he hadn't noticed. Lately he had been feeling further and further away from his twin and he hated it.

"Do you think stars have feelings?" Alyssa asked wistfully. Ty laughed joyfully, feeling so light and and so far away from every bad thing that had happened three years ago.

"Because I was just thinking," she continued. "Like, what if they're lonley you know?" Ty had to smile at the Alyssa charm of it all. Also the autistic perspective might have had something to do with it.

"I don't know," Ty said, sitting up. "Maybe they're like us. Maybe they like being alone." Alyssa pondered this for awhile.

"Well no one can be alone forever," she pointed out, then laughed, rolling her eyes. "God how did we get here? Remember when we were supposed to be doing actual work Ty?"

"Well we were stupid to think that would last," Ty announced matter of factly. Alyssa shrugged and leaned back against the sofa.

"Probably. Once the neurotypical left it was all downhill from there."

"I disagree, Ty said softly, meeting her gaze. "I enjoy spending time with you." Alyssa instantly smiled, the kind of beautiful, honest, heartfelt smile that allistic people wrote poetry about.

Instantly Ty was reminded of someone else, another brilliant smile.

He shook it off.

"Me too," Alyssa finally answered. Then she shook her head. "Ugh feelings. Gross."

Ty rolled his eyes at her and laughed.

Then Alyssa sat up again as she seemed to remember something. "Oh yeah I meant to ask you about Anush. Do you like him?"

Ty shrugged. "Yeah he's really nice. He's become a good friend."

Alyssa shook her head. "No, no Ty, I mean-" She paused. "I mean do you like him like you wanna date him? Or do you have romantic feelings for him?" She asked.

Ty paused. He honestly wasn't sure. He had been trying to avoid thoughts of those types of feelings for a very specific reason. A Herondale reason. But the truth was he did like really like Anush. He enjoyed being around him. Ty just wasn't sure what that meant.

"I'm not sure," he answered honestly. "Maybe." Alyssa fiddled with her hair, rubbing it between her fingers.

"Hmm. Well do you even like boys?" She asked. "I just realised I've known you for five months now and I dont really know what your deal is," she said contemplating. "Like sexual orientation wise. I mean not that it matters, it totally doesn't," she stammered.

Ty shrugged. "It was never really relevant before. But I'm not really sure. I guess I'm fine with whatever." Alyssa beamed.

"So I guess that means you're kinda like me huh? She said happily. "I'm pansexual. Women are so beautiful and angelic and soft and squishy and awesome, but men can be good too," she mused. "I mean men are......men, but some of them aren't so bad. I mean look at you!" Alyssa tossed her hair back over her shoulder.

"Thanks," Ty responded dryly.

"Anyways you know what I mean," Alyssa waved her hand. "So are you attracted to him at least?" Ty sighed.

"Yeah I am," he admitted. "But I don't- I don't want a relationship Ali. I just can't."

Alyssa studied him for a moment. "Does this have anything to do with the Herondale pendent you wear that you always tell me never to ask questions about?"

Ty scowled. "Yes, but I don't want to talk about it." Alyssa rolled her eyes and put her hands up in surrender.

"Fucking shit fuck! Fine!" She complained. "Anyways, my point is you dont need to date him neccesarily. Just have sex with him and see how you feel?"

Ty sat up and faced her. "What?"

Alyssa laughed. "You heard me. There's nothing wrong with causal sex between consenting adults. I mean, if you want to."

Ty felt the urge to stand up to try and aliviate some of the anxiety he was feeling, but he stayed sitting.

"I've never done it before," he admitted. Ty was 19, he knew most of the people his age had already had some sort of sexual experience. But he had always been too afraid. Too afraid of people touching him and demanding things from him with harsh vague bullshit. In Ty's mind it was just another social interaction that he could screw up and then pay the price for it.

Alyssa shrugged. "It's no big deal. Virginity is just a social construct anyways." Alyssa was playing with her hair casually and biting her lip slightly, to indicate that she was mulling something over.

Ty shook his head trying to explain it. "No, it's- I mean see, you say that, but, one of the things I've learned about this world is that social constructs kind of matter to a lot of people." Ty was taping his fingers against his leg and trying to stop himself from shaking. Alyssa noticed this.

"Because people tell you that's it's no big deal and not to worry, and then other people make it into a big deal like it means something, and then everyone's telling you to do something different," Ty explained with a panicked, rushed voice. "I don't know who you listen to, or what to do!" He was moving his hands frantically while he spoke to emphasize his points.

"Hey it's ok," she cooed, inching towards him. "Trust yourself. Or if you feel like you can't, then trust me." Ty felt a pang in his chest. A cacophony of conflicting emotions erupted within him. But mostly he found that despite his better judgement he actually believed her.

They had created something different between the two of them. Something that almost transcended labels or rules or traditional allistic boundaries. Alyssa was like the armor he put on every morning, with the strength and confidence that he wasn't alone in this world. In the midst of all of their jokes and late night heartbreaking conversations. In the midst of this fragile peace they had created, there was something there. Something indescribable.

Something like the sound of the page being turned in one of his Sherlock novels, or the sound of their favourite songs. A connection. A lifeline.

Ty looked over at Alyssa's concerned face and smiled softly. "I trust you," he promised. "I don't really trust many people, but I've always trusted you," he admitted. Alyssa inhaled sharply. She made an interesting facial expression that might have been a facial stim and then gaped for awhile before finally closing her mouth and avoiding Ty's gaze.

"Yeah that's cool. I trust you too," she said casually. She had gone back to pulling at her poor hair which was shedding everywhere. Anush always joked that he could always tell where Alyssa was by following the trail of hair.

"So, about the whole sex thing," she continued rather unceremoniously. Ty had to laugh a little. "Do you think it's something you're actually interested in? Or do you just feel like you have to?" She asked.

Ty pondered this for a moment. "I think I might want to. I just want to be with someone that I trust. Someone who will be considerate of my boundries, you know?" Ty did a quick glance around the room to make sure Livvy was still gone.

"Wait she's not here right?" Alyssa asked anxiously, catching on. Ty shook his head.

Alyssa paused for a moment, looking lost in thought. She was flicking her fingernails against each other and continuing to murder her bottom lip by chewing on it. Finally she looked up at him, looking rather amused.

"Ok. This might just be the exhaustion talking, or the autism, or a combination of both. So if you feel uncomfortable with what I'm about to say, then afterwards we can just forget it ok?" Alyssa sounded serious. Ty just nodded, trying not to be concerned.

Alyssa gave him an interesting look, one that he was pretty sure he had never recieved before. Her eyes scanned him up and down, then she smirked.

"I could potentially offer my services," she said innocently. Ty blinked a few times, then continued to stare at her. She stared back unflinching.

Wait. What?

Ty shook his head in confusion. "Hold on. Wait. You mean-?" He cut himself off. Alyssa nodded with that same smirk. "Yeah I mean why not right?" She shrugged, relaxing back against the sofa. "But if you dont want to then that's totally fine."

"Wait." Ty attempted to clear his head and stay focused. He stayed frozen for awhile, thinking. Then he folded his arms around himself, applying pressure. "Why exactly?"

Alyssa shrugged again. "Well why not? You're hot. I'm hot, and besides you know me," she pointed out. She paused, and then giggled.

"Four hours into investigating the paranormal phenomenon of his dead twin sister and chill, then she offers to take his virginity," she cackled. "I so enjoy our quality time together."

"The way your mind works really concerns me sometimes, you know that?" He asked playfully. Alyssa rolled her eyes at him and shoved him gently.

"Hey you don't have to, it was just an idea," she said, raising her hands in defense. Ty was silent. He was still thinking about it.

"Most people don't really do stuff like this right?" He asked warily. "Like most friends don't just randomly hook up and then laugh it off later."

Alyssa shook her head slowly. "Honey do you see me laughing?"

Ty was conflicted. There was something in him, a new, complicated feeling. A burning desire that nagged at the back of his mind everytime Alyssa bit her lip or pouted.

If he was really honest with himself. Ty could remember another time when he felt this way. But that was different, that was-.

He shook his head. No. Ty wasn't thinking about that anymore. He needed a distraction.

"God I can practically hear you thinking over here Ty," Alyssa teased. "Listen. If it freaks you out to much then we can forget about it. But-." She paused and reached towards him. Their fingertips met and she slowly dragged her fingertips down the top of Ty's hand.

"I want to do this for you because I care about you," she said solemnly. "I want make you feel good. Because you're special, and I dont mean that in the bullshit ableist way. I mean I think that you're special because you have such a big heart and you care so much," she said with a laugh.

Ty felt like he was about to cry. He was taking in long deep breaths trying not to get overwhelmed. He didnt know how to respond to this, this kind of attention and praise. His heart felt warm and tight absorbed in so much fondness and melancholy and regret all at once.

He knew this wasn't anything like what had happened that day on the beach. This wasn't that kind of love that he was feeling for Alyssa and that was a good thing. Romantic love, he decided, was too complicated.

"You deserve good things and good experiences. You deserve to have your first time be somewhere familiar. Somewhere you feel safe, and with someone who loves you." Alyssa wiped her eyes on the back of her hand.

"God sorry for getting all emotional like that," she joked.

Ty couldn't speak, so he just squeezed her hand. He hoped she would understand.

I love you too.

Ty took a breath, then nodded. "Yeah," he admitted. "Yeah I want that. I want you."

Alyssa exhaled, then grinned. "Ok then. Great. I'll see if I can pencil you in sometime this week," she joked. Ty cocked his head to the side in confusion.

"Oh," he murmered, suprised with how disappointed he felt. "You mean later?" Alyssa laughed.

"Well yeah, I mean aren't you tired?"

"Are you?" Ty countered.

Alyssa shrugged. "Hey you know how it is, autistic sleep cycle. I'm gonna be up for awhile. I just figured you might want some time to think."

Ty shook his head. "No I don't want to think anymore. I'm tired of thinking Ali. I'm tired of worrying and overanalyzing everything." His eyes met hers, she seemed a little worried.

She moved closer to him so that she was practically in his lap. "You need a distraction," she said matter of factly. "It's ok." She moved her hands from his arms to grasp his waist.

"Is this good?"

Ty flinched. "More pressure," he replied in a tone that was hopefully not too demanding. Alyssa pressed her fingertips down harder into his skin. A soothing feeling washed over him.

"Good?" She asked, scratching his skin with her fingernails. Ty just nodded, feeling slightly dazed.

Alyssa smiled, lowering herself gracefully into his lap. Everything she did was with precision and grace. Alyssa was a dancer. It was one of her special interests. She had stopped taking lessons a long time ago though because she found it challenging to dance in a group.

She could never copy what everyone else was doing exactly on count when she was supposed to. She was always going off and improvising on her own. There was probably a metaphor in there somewhere.

Alyssa's weight against him was comforting. She was moving her hands up and down his back underneath his shirt while still applying pressure. Ty felt heat beginning to pool in the base of his stomach. He stared at her curiously, taking in her soft curves and her smooth golden skin.

"Can I touch you?" Ty asked, feeling his fingers twitch.

Alyssa moved her hands to his chest. "Sure." She said softly. "Just be careful. Remember pressure and all of that, and try to avoid my stomach area. For some reason it's really sensitive." Ty nodded, instantly reaching for her long wavy dark hair and twisting his fingers around it, pulling slightly. She laughed.

This drew Ty's attention to her mouth. Her lips were cracked and rough looking from Alyssa constantly biting them, but Ty still wanted to kiss her. He had never kissed anyone before. He needed to know what it felt like.

He moved his hands to her shoulders and then to her sides, pulling Alyssa even closer. "Can you teach me how to kiss?" He asked looking her in the eye briefly. She snorted.

"I don't think you'll like it very much," she murmered. "It's not really a good sensory experience. At least not for me. Allistic people seem to like it though."

Ty nodded. "Exactly that's my point," he said, using one hand to cradle the side of her neck. "I need to learn for other people later on." He absentmindedly pressed his thumb into one of the divots in her neck, just to fill the space. Alyssa sighed and dug her fingernails into his chest.

"Ok fine but you're gonna hate the tounge thing," she breathed. She leaned down very slowly and then carefully pressed her lips to Ty's, kissing him softly.

It was a weird sensation but not entirely unpleasant. Ty happily slid his hands back into her hair and began to fiddle with a few thick pieces. Alyssa moved her own hands up his chest to cradle her face, applying pressure with thumbs against his cheekbones.

Alyssa deepened the kiss and slid her tounge into his mouth. Instantly Ty winced and felt every cell in his body seize up. But he didn't stop. He was determined to figure this out. If he wanted to kiss someone who wasn't autistic in the future then he would need to. Ty relaxed his body and kissed her back forcefully, making out with Alyssa until the uncomfortable noise in his head was too much and he broke the kiss.

Ty shook his head and Ali laughed, stroking his hair. "I fucking told you so," she exclaimed. Ty shut his eyes and allowed his breathing to return to normal.

"Ok so that's something we can forget about for now, thank god. The beauty of this whole situation is that we dont have to follow any allistic script for this sort of thing." Ty opened his eyes. Alyssa was watching him carefully, still only centimeters away from his face.

"So is there anything you want to do?" She asked him. "Just tell me and I'll see if we can make it happen."

Ty saw no need to maintain any sort of filter. "Well there are a lot of things actually, but for some reason I really want to bite you," he said pointedly, glancing down at her neck. Alyssa burst out laughing, nearly falling over.

Ty glared at her. "I'm sorry," she gasped breathlessly. "I'm sorry it's just,-," she regained her composure, shaking her head. "I just love how we all used to be the weird kids who growled and hissed at people on the playground if they bothered us and now as adults we're just super kinky. Like it's kind of poetic in a way," she laughed.

Ty rolled his eyes. There was no need to ask what she meant by we. When Alyssa said we, it only referred to one thing.

"I'm sure it's not absolutely every autistic person," he protested. "Also we should move, on account of the fact that this is still a public setting." Alysza's eyes widened as if she had just remembered that.

"Oh right. Shit, as if these people needed any more reasons to hate me. Let's go!" She rolled off of Ty and stood in front if him, holding out her hand. "We can use my room." Ty stayed sitting, taking a moment to fully absorb it all.

He couldn't help but feel the weight of the Herondale pendent against his chest as a heavy reminder. He willed himself not to get distracted. Alyssa smiled at him slightly, almost as if she knew.

"Enough," she said softly.

Ty didn't know what to say to that. He wasn't even sure if their was anything he wanted say. Then finally he understood.

"Enough," he echoed back.

He took her outstretched hand and let her take him away.

@ti-bae-rius @eutony-in-whisper @dianasarrow @dianasarrow @stxr-thxif @talia-lightwood @doitforthecarstairs @thelandunderthehilll @zfoxdraws @waterlillies

#tda #the dark artifices #tsc #twp #the wicked powers #ty blackthorn #Alyssa Reyes #autistic representation #Fae's oc

[hqgalpal]

LOCATION && WITH WHOM : : TING'S HOME W / @mindbottleds​

He planned it out perfectly and carefully, his plan of revenge. A year had gone by after the collapse of Caledonia, after Carmichael’s betrayal, after his own twin left him. And for what? For some fucking strangers who didn’t deserve him? Strangers who stole his only brother, his only friend from him? He hated them, every single one of them. He hated every friend that Carmichael made, he even hated the ex-Caledonia spies. Cole, Eva, Christian, Cecilia too-- he hated every single one of them. They were to blame for his life going to shits, for tearing Carmichael from him, for making him go into hiding. They all deserved one thing and that was death. 

Allister Davis was no stranger to murder, he made a better assassin than a spy. And he was going to make that clear now. He was quick and light on his feet, making sure that no one saw or heard him when he made his way into her home in the dead of night. This was easy, his previous assassinations had been more difficult than this. This was just some silly girl from a normal background, nothing of importance. Allister on the other hand was of great importance, key word was. 

Her room reflected her or at least of what Carmichael told him of her. Ting Zhao, an absolute sunshine of person. She doesn’t belong in this world, he remembered his brother’s message. She’s too good for any of this, Al, she’s just... the sun. The description made him sick to his stomach. His eyes never left her sleeping body, the knife that he brought in his back pocket. A gun would allow him to finish this with no problem but it was too loud, it attracted too much attention. He just needed something quiet and that would allow him to slip away with no problem. A blade was the perfect weapon to use right now. 

He noticed her moving the closer he got to her bed, Allister going rigid but he didn’t dare pull back. He kept moving, his blade now out in the open, ready to use it at any given moment. “Ting Zhao,” Allister said, venom dripping from his voice. “Do you know who I am?” 

#allister ☽ chat #ft. ting zhao #you probs dont remember this au but!!! i really wanted to do it #you dont have to reply to this ofc #weapon tw #me using old teen wolf gifs bc allister still has long hair

[thenicolasloane]

self para: slipping out

trigger warnings: self-loating, suicidal thoughts, death mention

mentions: marissa harrison ( @themarissaharrison ), cleo lopez ( @cmlopezofficial ), allister jackson ( @allisterjacksonn ), ellie robertson ( @ellicfm ), duke moore ( @mooreduke ), cordelia lopez (npc), lauren sloane (npc), delilah daniels (npc)

where: at nicola’s penthouse

when: the night after nicola, cleo and marissa left dorian’s party

that time at the parking lot in their car as she watched cleo and marissa, nicola hasn’t slipped like that, not at least in a long fucking while now. it’s been a decade. she hasn’t been in that state ever since she could even remember. she hasn’t been like this ever since she received the news over the phone.

“nicola, you might want to sit down for this.”

“what happened? where is she? why hasn’t she called me? she’s supposed to be home right now.”

“lauren’s dead, nicola. she got killed in action. she was…..she was shot multiple times. the doctors did everything that they could, and she didn’t—she didn’t make it, nicola. i’m sorry.”

she still remembers how it felt like, she could remember that phone call, her staring out at the balcony of the penthouse they’ve just bought together a year ago. the one that she’s living in right now, with cleo, marissa and cordelia. she couldn’t shake off that feeling back at club echo, that feeling that has been simmering for a while now since days after the attack. you’re a burden nicola, can’t you see how you’re making this hard for them? they don’t deserve this, they don’t deserve you.

of course, the bar owner can recall everything that’s happened before that; bumping into duke who she hasn’t seen in a long while, after making it seemed like she lied to him when she, cleo and marissa went official, and then seeing cleo drinking her heart out the smoking den, marissa getting her car stolen…it seemed like the world has been piling shit on them one by one at such a swift pace, and she was getting overwhelmed, hence her slipping out in from of cleo and marissa.

the feeling of her getting pulled down in a black hole deep beneath the sea was still there, its still got a hold of her, even though she’s got the loves of her life in her arms. for a moment, it indeed felt like she was losing them, and she got so scared that she spaced out of where she was and went somewhere else. it was happening again, right now as she sat fully awake in bed, watching cleo and marissa sleep in her arms. the pain in her chest wouldn’t go away, and she was close of not being able to breathe. yet she couldn’t make a sound, her girlfriends have been through enough already for the past three weeks, they’ve already done so much taking care of her ever since her attack….marissa taking over blue and cherry pop while cleo is hands on taking care of her whenever she’s home. both have been going through their own stuff already, with delilah’s death anniversary and allister and ellie….she couldn’t bring herself telling them this. she promised on taking care of them, they were supposed to take care of each other. it wasn’t just supposed to be cleo and marissa taking care of nicola, that’s not how it should be.

lauren….what should i do? she flutters her eyes shut as she cries to herself quietly, carefully getting up from bed so she wouldn’t wake them up. the older woman walks towards the solo sofa in the living room and sat down, watching both women sleep cluelessly without her in bed now. she could feel herself slipping from where she is again, the rest of the world being a blur to her, all she could see is darkness, all she could hear is voices of doubt in her head. they don’t deserve such burden like her. why am i still alive? what am i doing here? she brought her knees up to her chest and starts sobbing, biting her lip just so she wouldn’t make a sound. she hates this, she hates everything, she hates herself. she couldn’t even help them, she felt so useless. it shouldn’t be like this.

an hour or two after crying to herself, she knew some time from now, marissa is going to wake up, she was the earliest one out of the three, as always. nicola slips herself back in bed with the two women and returns to her previous position. at least she could help them both in this way, making sure that they always get the rest they needed. she can start from here as she swims out of that dark hole once more. she can do this; they don’t need to worry much for her. it’s okay, you’re okay, nicola louise.

#↣ 𝖈𝖔𝖑𝖉-𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙𝖊𝖉 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖗 :: self para #self loathing tw #suicidal thoughts tw #death mention tw

[beerecordings]

yooooo autistic Jackie is awesome!!!!! I actually picked up on some of those traits whenever u talk abt him and its really nice and good!!!!!! esp since its not a very common hc

yeh yeh yeh!!! oh so happy someone else thinks that’s cool. idk where it came from, it was kind of just a part of him as soon as I started writing him. okay you guys mind if i rant about austistic Jackie for a second?? too late I already gonna lol

@spicydanhowell helped me look over these and come up with a couple ideas!!!! i LOVE THEM YEEE

Wears his full-body onesie because he hates anything touching his skin and anyway that’s his outfit and he loves it.

Has a jumbo Sam he curls up with when he’s overwhelmed

Special interests come and go, but they include martial arts, crime statistics, Youtubers, SPIDERMAN (galaxy-brained suggestion, doodle) and whatever case he’s working on at the time

LOUD but he can’t really tell

Really extroverted and then people go “Wait you’re autistic?? No way” and he has to not hit them

Smells, sights and sensations associated with Anti make him gag: oil, blood, static shock, glitching colors and images, even that horrible shrieking noise he brings everywhere (this comes from his trauma too but he has never liked the way Anti fucking feels)

Uses things Jack says in videos as scripts sometimes

Touch-repulsed, but he’s plenty affectionate. Likes to bump into his brothers as he passes them. They’re just like “hey” and he’s like SAY HI TO THE W A L L *SLAM*

Way overworks himself when Anti shows up, spends hours and hours hyper-focused on videos and glitches, can tell you exact time-stamps and videos from every Anti appearance for the past two years

He’s the leader of his brothers and incredibly capable

HIGH ENERGY DURING A FIGHT but then afterwards he just gotta collapse, get him to bed

Pulls his mask down low when he doesn’t want to meet anybody’s eyes anymore

He and Marv learned sign language even before Jameson was created because a) they thought it would help while they were in the field b) they thought it would help with the times when he’s non-verbal and c) they were bored af and sign language is cool

Give him headphones!! He loves em!!! Pump the Spiderverse soundtrack over and over again!!! usually wears them out in public, they help

gets a little scared when there’s a new ego, even though he’s excited…. what if they don’t like him?? think he’s weird?? expect him to be allistic?? but they all figure it out in the end and his family’s very good about it and still respects the hell out of him

Loves the latex gloves Henrik wears when he’s stitching him up or something, he’ll just sit there snapping the glove on Henrik’s wrist and he just sits there -_- cause it’s the only way to get Jackie to sit still hahaha

That’s too bright. That’s too loud. Wants to go home and curl up under his covers for a month.

Alternatively, desperately needs something to stim with, takes to the city and spends hours doing parkour across buildings, loves a good fight to get his blood pumping

Eats peanut butter :) eats peanut butter :) eats peanut butter :) *repeat for many months*

Chase is the cook of the house and he knows all the shit Jackie will and will not eat at any cost (NO E G G S PLEASE)

Disaster boy but he has a very neat room. Please don’t move his stuff!!!

HAS A SPINNY CHAIR like Jack’s and he loves it

Hands never still

Would love to chill the fuck out, but alas

Literally an incredible fucking superhero, brother, and leader. doesn’t try to hide the fact that he’s autistic. he can do anything and he can do it without fitting into allistic standards of society

feel free to add more!!! specially if you’re autistic and actually know what you’re talking about when it comes to experiencing this! it’s exciting to me that other people might be into this :0

#jackieboyman #bee posts #ask #anon #oh lol i accidentally left that point about anti hanging haha #i decided to make it a separate post if i talked about it and then forgot it was there #deleted now

[saltyfilmmajor]

FROM RECKLESS MEN TO EMOTIONAL DISASTERS

AN ANALYTICAL EVALUATION OF THE AESTHETIC QUALITIES OF A FEW FAMOUS TOM CRUSE CHARACTERS

To start off, yes, I’m doing another essay on this. (Mel, this doesn’t change the fact that we are fighting because you know I’m right. So, write a paper or admit that I’m right.) This was requested by @sweetbouquetartisane because she wants to hear my thoughts on why I find Mr. Tom Cruise attractive, on a physical level anyway. And I am very inclined to write this first in the series of essays that will come out soon. But I digress, the main point is that Tom Cruise is a very good-looking man and that characters he plays from movie to movie bring out very different responses from me. So let’s dive head first on the characters of Barry Seal, Jack Harper, Ethan Hunt, and Danny Kaffee. This order corresponds from least favorite to most favorite. I don’t hate any of these characters. In fact, I love them. A little too much. But l Digress. 

American Made, for me as a film, was something I wished to watch for the historical nature of it, given that it sort of documents the situation surrounding the Iran-Contra affair (look forward to that essay soon). And so when I watched it the very first time this week, I was excited. I had never watched a film that directly talks about this stuff, especially with such a big-name star like Tom Cruise. He plays Barry Seal, a very crazy man irl who worked for the CIA and The Medellín Cartel and ultimately died before the Iran Contra Scandal went public. Now I’m supposed to hate this character very much cause of his involvement with said cartel and CIA, but from his very first words, he grabbed my heart and never let go. GOD, he’s so fucking charming it is insane. He speaks in a slight southern accent, he flies like a mad man. HE SPEAKS FUCKIN SPANISH, I JUST.

So, a bit of context about why that is important. Before I watched this film I was away in Guatemala visiting family for two weeks. Because of that, I was limited to Spanish only conversation. It got me thinking. Mel and I had a discussion on this about how great it would be if Ethan Hunt would speak Spanish on screen. We never get to hear it in a movie, and it was a very fun conversation. So I watched American Made the day I returned home, not knowing that Tom would be speaking Spanish. I FUCKIN LOST MY SHIT. I just couldn’t FUNCTION. And he starts off with very limited Spanish and over the course of the movie he gets a bit better. MEL AND I JUST LOST IT. I showed it to her the second time I watched (but she does not like Barry, she likes Schafer and she hasn’t watched to the end of the film.)

The outfits they put Barry in this movie, like in every scene almost, he has the Sleeves™ and Mel and I LOVE THE SLEEVES. Tom Cruise with rolled up sleeves, very good yes. Also, Mel, I know you appreciate when Tom is wearing a uniform and he wears a pilot uniform for a good portion of the beginning of the movie. 

HE LOVES HIS WIFE SO DAMN MUCH. AND WHEN SHIT HITS THE FAN THAT’S THE ONLY THING HE CARES ABOUT, HIS FAMILY’S WELLBEING. THE VOICE KINK IS STRONG IN THIS MOVIE FOR ME. (yes Tumblr I have a voice kink, the least Extra™ of any kink I’ve ever admitted to, shut up. Well, that and the Sleeves™.) Also, he fucks his wife in a plane and it just stresses me the fuck out but also makes me feel things. I’m very conflicted about it.

Jack Harper, The Softest™ Man. I can’t thirst over him, it breaks my heart too much. BUT THAT WON’T STOP ME. Look, he just wants to live a peaceful life away from this bullshit. And HE JUST LOVES THE EARTH SO FUCKIN MUCH. AND VIKA IS JUST A STICKLER FOR THE RULES. LET HIM KEEP HIS FLOWER FOR FUCK’S SAKE. PLEASE DON’T HURT HIM HE JUST WANTS TO BE HAPPY AND LIVE LIFE ON EARTH. (also, he does have that scene where he’s restrained and its…. fuck)

Ethan Hunt. Ethan Fucking Hunt. THIS MAN DRINKS RESPECT WOMEN JUICE FOR BREAKFAST LUNCH AND DINNER. He is such a badass and he cares so much about his loved ones it’s crazy. He just wants to protect the world and he fights his government to do the greater good. He clings of a plane, free climbs the side of mountains, marries Julia in the hospital before the mission (and then proceed to fuck in the medical supplies…JULIA YOU ARE A NURSE WHAT THE FUCK.)  He looks damn good wearing a tux and riding a bike. He has the sleeves in fallout. I just love him a lot.

Like ok look, not to go too in depth about Ethan’s character (Look forward to that essay as well) but he is an Extra Spy who cares too much and risks his life because ultimately he cannot let anyone die. He won’t allow it. The mission is all he has left, he has no life outside of that because he learned early on that the risk is too much for his loved ones. He’s always ready to die for the sake of a mission, and he speaks French and Russian. So, in turn, he dedicates himself to being the best agent, not for the sake of his government, however, (because the government is shown to be very sketchy.) It’s the embodiment of the thesis posited by James Bond in Skyfall. In Skyfall, when Bond is meeting  Q for the first time they have this conversation of Technology vs Old-school Tradecraft

Bond: Oh, so why do you need me?

Q: Every now and then a trigger has to be pulled.

Bond: Or not pulled. It's hard to know which in your pajamas.

Ethan Hunt is the embodiment of the critical thinking in the espionage trade. By that I mean, after his first mission gone wrong, he thinks about the decisions he makes. And it’s nice that people consider the consequences of their actions and don’t go shooting everyone who crosses their path. Ethan Hunt Certified Badass and Respecter of women. (also he has the scene in with the pole). He has an engineering degree and he was in the army. He DOUBLE MAJORED IN ENGINEERING AND INTERNATIONAL RELATIONS! HE’S A SMART BOI AND I LOVE AND RESPECT HIM VERY MUCH! JUST LET HIM LIVE A HAPPY AND NORMAL LIFE. (also he has those scenes...)

And lastly our last candidate for evaluation. You know who it is, THAT’S RIGHT. LT. DANIEL ALLISTER KAFFEE SMARTEST SMARTASS TO EVER SMARTASS IN THE HISTORY OF SMARTASSERY. (Did I ever mention I have a thing for lawyers?) This is different from all the others I’ve mentioned here. Like Kaffee is not the Tom Cruise Action Hero™ he is a quietly intense drama boi. He’s insecure and masks it with a layer of cockiness because he is afraid of the shadow of his father’s legacy. It’s just so sad. He’s a very smart Boi who doesn’t apply himself because he understands that litigation is an artwork to itself and he’s trying to make sure his clients get the best deal possible. He knows that if his case goes to trial he cannot control the outcome, he can present his case but at the end of the day, it is up to the jury to decide whether his clients are guilty or not. I could discuss Kaffee, my actual husband, all day. He has some certifiable looks in this movie.

HE HAS HIS REGULAR NAVY UNIFORM.

HIS SOFTBALL OUTFIT

THE JOCK OUTFIT

THE WHITE NAVY UNIFORM

And my absolute favorite HIS CLASS A UNIFORM.

HE HAS EVERYTHING I LIKE. ROLLED UP SLEEVES? CHECK! TOM CRUISE IN JEANS? CHECK! SMARTASSERY? DOUBLE CHECK! UNIFORMS? CHECK FROM HERE TO COLOMBIA! ISSUES WITH AUTHORITY? CHECKAMUNDO! (also his reluctantly subbish tendencies, but not everyone is into that. BUT FUCK YOU MEL, I’M RIGHT JUST ADMIT IT)

LOOK MY ACTUAL HUSBAND DANIEL KAFFEE

This man is such a disaster, he doesn’t know how to eat apples, he gets sick on boats (Jesus Christ Kaffee, You’re in the Navy.) All he has in his house is Yoohoo and Coco Puffs, He has a baseball bat fetish (not the sexual definition, the witchcraft one.) He fuckin walked in the rain drunk af and then proceeded to drive a few blocks looking for Joanne, while still drunk (Sam WHAT THE FUCK, WHY DID YOU LET HIM DRIVE???) When he tells Jessup to return to the stand and he drinks water, he’s fuckin shaking. He swears when he’s frustrated. His voice, oh my fuck, HIS VOICE. He gesticulates a lot in court as well (I’m thinking about his cross-examination of the doctor specifically) I don’t know why but I find that endearing. The way he speaks in court is so smart, and when he whispers, It just. IT’S Like ASMR but I like it instead of being creeped out. He just, GOD HIS VOICE. I LOVE IT. He never has a pen on his person, like Danny, sweetheart, please. He just. GOD I THINK I’M IN LOVE.

So that’s essentially my Deep Dive™ on Tom Cruise characters that I’ve watched this week. He’s just so charming in all these roles and they all have something different to offer. All are distinct people: Barry Seal, the most fucking reckless man ever. Jack Harper, the softest soul who just loves earth please just let him keep his flower. Ethan Hunt, the most badass Extra™ spy who consumes gallons of respect women juice. Daniel Kaffee, my Harvard educated smartass who is very fucking stupid. Each of them just provides me with a very different experience emotionally, but they all have their merits and I love them all.

(Mel, fuck you. I’m Right.)

#tom cruise #a few good men #tom thirst #or Tomrst™ #ethan hunt #american made #jack harper #deep dives #supergeekytoon #essays #my essays

[stimmyvillainarchive]

what makes me angry as a person whose been bullied before, is stimmywhale knows EXACTLY how diehard her fans are. she knows EXACTLY what happens when she calls people out. She uses her "well I was bullied too!!!!" card to escape the fact that not even once has she said "please dont send people hate" because I imagine she does it herself lmfao! Shes nothing but a bully who refuses to admit it. Shes a manipulative bitch and GDI IT MAKES ME SO MAD

It’s because she doesn’t actually give a fuckin shit about bullying. You know what she cares about?? Herself, and only herself. I mean, this bitch thinks autistic people should DIE if it would save an allistic person’s life on the basis of allistic = better. She has no sympathy and honestly? Her tears are fucking fake as shit. She isn’t actually upset under the basis of “3: people are meanies!!!”, she’s upset because she’s being exposed and that deals a heavy blow to her overgrown, fucking ugly ego. I’m serious, she’s an egotistical little shit who��s obsessed with herself. It’s always “me me me” with her, and anyone who disagrees with that is a “SJW (buzzword here)”. She RELISHES in being a bully, she just doesn’t say it. But I’ve dealt with shits like her all my life. Honestly she reminds me of that abusive sister of mine the more I look into her behavior and wrongdoings. And you’re absolutely right she’s absolutely manipulative. She loves to play the part of being a bully, but in her eyes she’ll be DAMNED if she has to pay for the consequences of that role. So she pulls up a victim facade so people will side with her and feel sorry for her, and it’s the perfect cover. Cause that means anyone calling her out on her abusive actions/personality/etc (as in: me and a couple friends of mine) MUST be the wrong ones, right?? Because this poor, defenseless blogger couldn’t POSSIBLY be in the wrong because she said so! So clearly I, and others, are the bad guys.

sorry for long response but when I say this rabbithole keeps going down and down, I MEAN it’s going down and down

#asks #anon #villaincourse #long post #ableism mention #ask to tag #Mod Joker

[unhingedera]

self para: slipping out

self para of: nicola sloane

trigger warnings: self-loathing, suicidal thoughts, death mention

mentions: marissa harrison, cleo lopez, allister jackson, duke moore, cordelia lopez (npc), lauren sloane (npc), delilah daniels (npc)

where: at nicola’s penthouse

when: the night after nicola, cleo and marissa left dorian’s party

that time at the parking lot in their car as she watched cleo and marissa, nicola hasn’t slipped like that, not at least in a long fucking while now. it’s been a decade. she hasn’t been in that state ever since she could even remember. she hasn’t been like this ever since she received the news over the phone.

“nicola, you might want to sit down for this.”

“what happened? where is she? why hasn’t she called me? she’s supposed to be home right now.”

“lauren’s dead, nicola. she got killed in action. she was…..she was shot multiple times. the doctors did everything that they could, and she didn’t—she didn’t make it, nicola. i’m sorry.”

she still remembers how it felt like, she could remember that phone call, her staring out at the balcony of the penthouse they’ve just bought together a year ago. the one that she’s living in right now, with cleo, marissa and cordelia. she couldn’t shake off that feeling back at club echo, that feeling that has been simmering for a while now since days after the attack. you’re a burden nicola, can’t you see how you’re making this hard for them? they don’t deserve this, they don’t deserve you.

of course, the bar owner can recall everything that’s happened before that; bumping into duke who she hasn’t seen in a long while, after making it seemed like she lied to him when she, cleo and marissa went official, and then seeing cleo drinking her heart out the smoking den, marissa getting her car stolen…it seemed like the world has been piling shit on them one by one at such a swift pace, and she was getting overwhelmed, hence her slipping out in from of cleo and marissa.

the feeling of her getting pulled down in a black hole deep beneath the sea was still there, its still got a hold of her, even though she’s got the loves of her life in her arms. for a moment, it indeed felt like she was losing them, and she got so scared that she spaced out of where she was and went somewhere else. it was happening again, right now as she sat fully awake in bed, watching cleo and marissa sleep in her arms. the pain in her chest wouldn’t go away, and she was close of not being able to breathe. yet she couldn’t make a sound, her girlfriends have been through enough already for the past three weeks, they’ve already done so much taking care of her ever since her attack….marissa taking over blue and cherry pop while cleo is hands on taking care of her whenever she’s home. both have been going through their own stuff already, with delilah’s death anniversary and allister and ellie….she couldn’t bring herself telling them this. she promised on taking care of them, they were supposed to take care of each other. it wasn’t just supposed to be cleo and marissa taking care of nicola, that’s not how it should be.

lauren….what should i do? she flutters her eyes shut as she cries to herself quietly, carefully getting up from bed so she wouldn’t wake them up. the older woman walks towards the solo sofa in the living room and sat down, watching both women sleep cluelessly without her in bed now. she could feel herself slipping from where she is again, the rest of the world being a blur to her, all she could see is darkness, all she could hear is voices of doubt in her head. they don’t deserve such burden like her. why am i still alive? what am i doing here? she brought her knees up to her chest and starts sobbing, biting her lip just so she wouldn’t make a sound. she hates this, she hates everything, she hates herself. she couldn’t even help them, she felt so useless. it shouldn’t be like this.

an hour or two after crying to herself, she knew some time from now, marissa is going to wake up, she was the earliest one out of the three, as always. nicola slips herself back in bed with the two women and returns to her previous position. at least she could help them both in this way, making sure that they always get the rest they needed. she can start from here as she swims out of that dark hole once more. she can do this; they don’t need to worry much for her. it’s okay, you’re okay, nicola louise.

#self para: nicola sloane #self loathing tw #suicidal thoughts tw #death mention tw

[autistic-science-cryptid]

Comment Exchange about a Manipulative Autism Mom

As I promised, here is the comment exchange, which I did on the Patheos blog Roll to Disbelieve, which discusses the behavior of a particularly manipulative Autism Mom™. To sum up: The owner of that blog, Captain Cassidy, once worked in a call center, and the Autism Mom™ in this case grabbed up the fanciest TV package she could find, one she could not afford, and played the autism card (complete with the whole array of humiliating details that so any Autism Parents show without the child’s consent) to get her bills forgiven indefinitely so she could basically et these services for free. I responded talking about how this is a well-known phenomenon within the autistic community, one we really do not like, and she and I ended up in an exchange talking about how this behavior affects the kids and how annoyingly manipulative it is. This is what led me to the conclusion that this type of manipulation, while it may not be always against companies, may be driving a lot of the vocal refusal to accept the sort of advice we have to give. After all, they want to hear a pat answer that makes their child convenient - they don’t want to hear that they may need to try multiple things, accept messy parts of life, and various other things we suggest that are likely to work, but are not something you can just implement and forget.

Exchange under the cut - note that a few other people on that blog, allistic people, do agree with the sentiment that people who claim autism as their identity when they themselves are not autistic, while simultaneously denying this identity to actually autistic people, is really a disgusting thing to do. All users except Captain Cassidy and me are designated with initials:

Captain Cassidy (blog mod, also calls herself Wielder of the Banhammer) Perpetual victims tend to leave nothing to chance when it comes to fucking up their lives. It's just amazing how they manage to cover every single potential base with epic failure so that there's only one possible avenue of help--which is guaranteed to be someone who'll be hugely put out by rescuing them. It's like watching the human version of a slow-motion train wreck. Then when nobody leaps forward to save them from their own poor choices, they'll whine that "so-and-so doesn't want to work with me." Yeah, been there and done that with call center work. You could always immediately tell who those people were: they'd have tons of little credits and line-item deletions on their accounts, a balance that hadn't been current since their account started (and a fairly recent activation date at that), a constant wave of promotions and specials they probably shouldn't have gotten, and--the tip-off--a pattern of forgiven late fees, disconnection fees, and bounced check fees, each noted with some new disaster the customer had suffered that had prevented them from paying their bill on time and in full that month. They always had some ideal solution in mind, and it seemed like they would refuse every option and possibility we offered if it wasn't that solution in their head. Usually the solution involved total absolution of all fees and balances, but barring that they'd happily take a very large discretionary credit "for being such good customers" and as "compensation" for the hassle caused to them by the disconnection or whatever. If a frontline agent refused to "work with them" that time, they'd escalate as high as they could to try to get their bill credited. I was one of the people in that escalation chain, but had the good fortune to be working for a company that was cracking down HARD on those kinds of credits so I could refuse knowing upper management wouldn't give in either. These idiots would ride the carousel as long as a company would let them, then fuck off and go right along to the next provider of that service. I remember telling one that sooner or later they'd go through all the providers in their rural area and it might be a good idea to talk to someone about learning how to budget and all that because she'd hit the limit on what we could do to save her from herself. It didn't go over well with her. (She had an autistic son, she said, and she'd gotten that company's largest entertainment package on a new customer promotion about 18 months previously. The son had gotten used to watching a channel that only came with that package and would, she assured us, beat his head against a wall until he landed in the hospital if he couldn't have that channel on all the time. She hadn't actually paid a bill at all in about 16 months and now owed the company somewhere around $2000. Normally that was an impossible balance to accrue, but we'd inadvertently taught her a very dirty trick we could do in cases of extreme need: When she got disconnected every month, she'd call up and pity-party someone into taking pity on her and reactivating it, even if that meant re-aging her account to get it back online, with the assurance--never fulfilled--that she'd totally pay in full "soon." The company's fraud team had flagged her account and made it impossible for ANYBODY not on their team to reactivate her without payment in full plus three months in advance. She was used to escalating a few times, since only people at a fairly high level could re-age accounts. I was one of them, but I sure wasn't gonna do it for her. Re-aging meant to take her full balance, credit that amount to the account to bring it current, then charge it all back again. In effect, she would still owe the full balance, but now it showed as a current balance instead of a past due one. This is a TERRIBLE thing to do and it completely freaks out fraud investigators. So she escalated on me, and I sent her to a manager, who "wouldn't work with her" either, and then she landed in the fraud team's queue and I didn't hear anything past that. I didn't believe her excuse story, but it hardly mattered if I did or didn't; the only solution at that point was for her to pay what was being demanded, and that wasn't the solution she wanted to hear.)

Me You know, that woman who claimed she had an autistic son? I wouldn't be shocked if she was one of those parents that the autistic community HATES. The ones who are always pity-partying their kid's autism, talking about how their kids DESERVE an autism cure (which most autistics, including me, don't want), acting as if autism is doom-and-gloom all the time, often supporting the crap "charity" Autism Speaks, which repeats those same pity lines, videoing their child's meltdowns and posting them on the internet without their consent along with giving graphic details of hygiene and bathroom habits of their kids, also without the child's consent (including feces-smearing, which is something an autistic person I know did as a baby and grew out of, and they transitioned to making mud pies by the creek as a kid), and calling themselves "autism parents" while telling us autistic people "no, no, sweetie, you are a person with autism". Ugh, there's a lot of nerve in that last one, taking our identity for themselves while expecting us to separate ourselves from it. And then it seems possible that one of these so-called "autism parents" (who inevitably are never autistic themselves, because autistic people who are parents call themselves "autistic parents") has the gall to scam your company, to boot. 

 S 
I just think it's obnoxious they make it all about them. 

C 
"Autism parent" sounds awful. It's like she thinks she's mothering the autism itself, rather than her kid.





Captain Cassidy, Wielder of the Banhammer  
Oh yeah, that was completely this awful lady. That's exactly what she talked like. She presented herself as one step holier than the Virgin Mary and it just outraged her that my company wasn't just donating services to her because SHE was an AUTISM MOM and didn't we KNOW what she was GOING through every day... And yes, I got treated to some astonishing personal details about her son that seemed engineered to evoke the most pity and disgust in listeners. I almost told her hey gal, I've been emotionally manipulated by the best. And you ain't anywhere close to that level.




Me 
I wish more people responded to "autism mom" laments the way you do. That type of manipulation allows parents to get away with literal murder of their autistic offspring, such that if you google "parent kills kid who has autism" or something, practically every article talking about such a murder has comments sections full of people saying things about how you'd understand why those poor parents would want to murder their autistic kid if you were in their shoes, and how the lack of services makes them worry so much they had to kill their kid.
 No, I'm sorry, lack of services means that you should be willing to advocate for those services, not use that an excuse to treat your kid like a rabid beast who has to be put down. And besides, if you autism parents can pull heartstrings the way so many of you do engendering sympathy for murder and waltzing right into communities of actual autistic people to shit on them and silence them, I'm sure you can use those emotional manipulation skills to aid you in advocacy work.
(Not you personally, I mean those shitheads who do things ranging from what that mom did to you all the way up to actual murder).
You even get things like the parents in this article (http://autistext.com/2017/03/04/autpocalypse-then-autpocalypse-now/ ) talking about how if their son's autism didn't go away, they might have to kill him, at which point the son's autism went away and the parents blamed the autism on a "cerebral milk allergy" which, as we all know here, is a bullshit disease and that of course if you discuss the possibility of killing a kid for being visibly autistic, that kid is likely to hide his autistic behaviors because his life depends on it. Duh. But of course, a little thing like reality isn't going to stop them from selling alternative medicine to treat something that, in actuality, was visibly and abusively "treated" by putting the kid in fear for his life.
And it is clear from the quotes of those parents in that article that those are not the words of parents at their wit's end (which, of course, is the impression "autism parents" who murder their kids often successfully give to a lot of people when they talk about how people need to "walk in their shoes"). Those words are far too cold and calculating for that, and are simply abuser words.



Me 
So, she was most likely telling the truth about having an autistic son, and she treated him like shit. Go figure. Just like every other "autism mom" out there. They do have a habit of presenting themselves as holy figures.
Really, I feel sorry for that kid.



Captain Cassidy Wielder of the Banhammer 
I'm glad to take your word on it--though sad for the son.
Probably would have been a way better idea for her to contact the company in writing and just ask for the donation before signing up for anything. They might even have granted it then, who knows... But signing a contract and accepting a huge entertainment package like that, then unilaterally deciding not to pay because she felt she'd earned enough Autism Sympathy Points? Not a good plan. And offering a child a channel on a package she knows for 100% certain she can't afford to pay for monthly doesn't sound like she was thinking with portals at all.



Me 
No, she wasn't. though I bet her taking an expensive package and working it into that kid's routine would win her massive sympathy points when her kid inevitably gets upset because his routine is disrupted due to the fact he can no longer see that show. So then she can use that as yet another example of how autism ruined her life (and yes, she would say it was her life that was ruined even though her kid is the autistic one).
Seriously, though. Don't incorporate shows you can't afford to keep into an autistic kid's daily routine - it's a real pain in the ass to have a routine disrupted without warning. I know that from personal experience. If your kid really likes that particular show, it would be more responsible to get DVDs of it if available, or else have it be something that you specially plan - do the latter if you can't get the DVD because that way the show falls under the category "special treat" and isn't incorporated into a daily routine.
But I guess advice like that is not going to go over well with people who use their kid's autism as a way to fish for sympathy. God for-fucking-bid they do anything that will genuinely reduce their kid's difficulty rather than win them sympathy points, especially since they are also doing things that make it harder for autistic people and those parents of autistic kids who actually want to make it easier for their kids and are willing to fight on their kid's behalf rather than using autism as a vehicle to fish for sympathy.



Captain Cassidy Wielder of the Banhammer 
It definitely gave her something to keep her days busy. I got the feeling she'd done this to a lot of other companies for a lot of other services and goodies and did a lot of phone errands to keep the gravy train and sympathy brigade moving.



Me 
And strung her son along in the process with repeated, unnecessary, and jarring interruptions to his routine, rather than finding things within his interest area that he liked and that she could consistently provide (i.e. a one-time or few-time DVD purchase in lieu of scamming expensive TV packages).
Seems that she cared more about getting the goodies for herself and exploiting her son's plight in order to do so, while making it worse for him, rather than making sure that both she and her son were able to have nice things she didn't need to scam people to get. And she probably saddled her son with a huge burden of guilt for getting attached to those goodies that weren't really his in the process, although it was in no way his fault that his mom brought in those things and let them be incorporated into his routine knowing damn well she might not be able to give her son consistent access to them (again, a disaster for a lot of autistic kids) rather than making them "special treats" as she should have done, while giving him things he could consistently use for his routine (like the aforementioned DVDs).
Getting goodies for oneself is okay (yes, I know that parents have a lot of reason to be stressed), just get goodies you can reasonably afford, for you and your kids, and don't use your kid to bilk people out of goodies like that woman did.




Captain Cassidy Wielder of the Banhammer 
Jeez, yeah, 100% this. I'm glad you brought that up because I guess I hadn't even realized that the son might feel guilty about any attachments he formed to the TV channel in question. I see why parents like that are looked down on. That's a lot to saddle a child with, and none of it's his fault at all.



Me 
I figured the son might feel guilty about this because I have felt guilty about similar things outside my control (like feeling so guilty about benefitting from the use of fossil fuels that I once went through a phase of basically denying climate change and hanging on to the hope of a magical solution so that the guilt wouldn't drive me nuts, especially since I couldn't realistically check out of use of technology, and this was before renewable energy sources looked as feasible as they do today)

Exchange over.

Bet I’m not the only autistic who would feel guilty about getting attached to something that people have gotten through ill-gotten gains. I mean, sometimes we do need to apply this in a socially aware way (like when talking about white privilege) but this isn’t one of those things. And even when it is a good idea to acknowledge this, it does not mean people should have to be ashamed of getting attached to something. Recognizing problematic elements and being ashamed of getting attached to something are not the same thing. But in this case, if the son did feel guilty, his mom would probably encourage it - heck, the tricks she used to manipulate Captain Cassidy, mentioned in the first comment, are exactly the sort of thing that would feed guilt and shame in a totally destructive way - his mom is portraying the situation in a way that would make the son feel like it is all his fault he gets deeply attached to things. 

Seriously, how else are you supposed to feel when your mean mom is on the phone to a company desperately saying about how you will knock your head against the wall so hard you end up in the hospital if you can’t have the show you’ve grown deeply attached to? Of course you would feel guilty and absolutely sick with yourself - you don’t leap to thinking it’s your mom’s fault and that she could have skipped the fancy package and/or gotten DVDs of the shows or a TiVo to record your shows instead if she wanted you to have the shows - both options would be 100% cleaner, and a lot more likely to be able to continue, than scamming a company out of the fanciest packages the companies offer (which companies will likely cut you off from when they find out anyway, and in this particular case it would not be a dirty trick on the part of the company to do so since the company is not breaking any promises in that case). Especially since yes, companies are unethical a lot of the time, and yes, there are a lot of things companies should not deny, but that does not mean that people should be using children to scam said company. And they shouldn’t be humiliating their kids in public like that either. Period.