#garf leaves the house

[garfield-ontherun]

safety first!

#garfs #garf leaves the house #garf on the run #garfield #garfield the cat #car #seatbelt #car safety #wear your seatbelt

[bigdumbbambieyes]

“What the fuck is this?”

Steve glances back over his shoulder with a furrowed brow, spotting Billy halfway into the bed with the blanket pulled back, revealed his very old and very matted childhood stuffed Garfield plushie.

He feels his face heat in embarrassment, but he shuts his drawer in favour of going over to the bed and swiping Garfield up from the bed and into his arms, cradling him against his chest as he tells Billy with a small pout, “It’s my Garf.”

“Your Garf?” Billy lifts both of his brows, his eyes shining with mirth and his lips are twitching to hold back a smile.

Or worse, maybe a laugh.

Which makes Steve feel worse because goddammit, he forgot to hide Garfield away in his closet before Billy came over. He was usually better about it, but the new shiner under Billy’s eye had distracted him the entire drive here.

This thing between them was still new, still kinda fragile, because Billy’s just started sleeping over instead of rushing to put his pants back on after they fuck and running away like a bat out of hell.

And now Billy’s gone and seen Garf and Steve kinda wants to die.

“You sleep with a stuffed Garfield, pretty boy?” Billy taunts him quietly, that amusement still in his face.

He has since he was a kid, when he picked him off the shelf in a store he can’t remember during one of the dozens of vacations they’ve taken and showed it to his mother, who had nodded in approval.

He’s slept with Garf every night since he was six, when his parents were gone and his babysitter was in the guest room. Or when his parents would leave him alone, in this big house, for a weekend or more.

Or even when his parents were home and he still felt alone.

He finds himself rubbing Garfield’s ear, soothing himself as he stares at Billy and nods quietly.

And Billy probably sees his embarrassment now, in his big brown eyes, because the teasing look is gone and Billy’s kneeling on the bed now, shuffling over to the other side where Steve’s standing, and looking down at the weathered Garfield in his arms.

Billy flicks his gaze up again, meeting Steve’s eyes, and mutters, “I have my baby blanket under my pillow at home. It’s fucking scraps now, but I still have it.”

When I need it, goes unsaid, but it makes Steve smile a little.

“Can I see him?” Billy asks softly, probably the softest Steve’s ever heard him.

It’s enough to make him pass Garfield over to Billy, who looks him over quietly. Petting his ears and face, thumbing over his eyes and smile.

“I know it’s stupid,” Steve mumbles.

Billy smirks softly, probably thinking ‘yeah, it is’, but he doesn’t say it, instead he hands Garfield back and mumbles, “Whatever gives you comfort.”

Steve nods and watches Billy slip under the covers, making him comfortable, and he turns to put Garfield away in his spot in the closet when Billy asks, “He’s not sleeping with us?”

It makes Steve pause, caught a little off guard at the question, but he turns on his heel and sees Billy laying there against the pillows, his hands behind his head and quirking a brow.

Steve licks his lips, a nervous habit, and shrugs. He asks, “Is that okay?”

“I wouldn’t be asking if it wasn’t.”

Steve smiles, a small thing on his face, but Billy mirrors it and reaches over to pull back the blanket on Steve’s side of the bed.

-

In the morning, Steve wakes up to the sight of Billy holding a stolen Garfield to his chest, sound asleep.

The sight fills his chest with something warm, something affectionate, something hopeful.

#harringrove #billy hargrove #steve harrington #i saw the ‘to be loved is to be changed’ meme #and knew i had to do it #also love the idea of billy having literal scraps of his baby blanket #bambiwrites

[wolftattoo]

chamomille and nutmeg? :)

chamomile ⇢ what kind of things do you like receiving as gifts?

anything wolf or werewolf related, art supplies (especially clay), and socks . also food

nutmeg ⇢ how’s your room/home decorated? do you have a specific theme or style going on?

just kind of dilapidated kids room .. theres glow in the dark stars on the ceiling and walls, little bits of blu tack on the walls . i have a few random things i find on the side of the road on my walls . like ive got a scratched up now thats what i call rnb disc and a business card for a shaman i found on a sidewalk . mum kind of "decorates" the rest of the house and would not enjoy how i decorate . sometimes i leave a garf plush somewhere and that becomes deco....

[synthaphone]

oh! so I'm not the only one with a Garfield shrine/display (including garf phone)

i mean, what else do you do with a Garf phone??

#really good i'm glad i'm not alone #asks #if i had the converter thing and a phone jack i could use the garf phone #but honestly it feels more fun to just like #have it disconnected and then leave his eyes open when we leave the house #he keeps watch #not that we are leaving the house much right now but when we were #Anonymous

[clowngremlin]

might fuck around and draw a catalogue of every single Garfield or Garfield related piece of merchandise i own and like make a fun lil art zine....just cause!

#the wretched gremlin strikes again #im trying to do things that bring me joy #because ive been feeling really depressed and hopeless lately #so like im trying to draw a comic every day or do some art or do something i enjoy #and like i am also trying to go outside at least once per day #usually its to just walk eli #but i do get to leave my house for longer some times which is nice #anyways would anyone be interested if i posted my garf drawings?? let me know :>

[gothicwidowsworld]

Time to grow up 1/3

Another day another frat party. Life felt like it was on repeat recently and there was nothing Y/N could do to stop it, she had to just sit by and watch her friends get drunk and high. The neon strobe lights assaulted the y/h/c girls vision. Sighing Y/N took another sip from her red cup the liquid inside bland compared to her usual drink of choice. A couple of days ago Y/N would have been like her friends wearing small amounts of clothing and swaying her hips drunkenly but she couldn’t do that anymore. She realised she had to grow up and it seemed like nobody else could give a fuck about tomorrow it was all about the now, living in the moment and nothing else. 

“Hey you okay?” Teddy practically yelled over the music at the girl who had barely moved all night and had stuck to the walls like a middle schooler. Shrugging Y/N rested her head against the cold wall trying to control the pounding in her head. Teddy rolled his eyes before taking a seat next to the girl. “Okay what’s wrong you’ve been weird all day.” he questioned in an accusing tone. Teddy may give off the vibe that he only looked out for number one but deep and I mean very deep down he was a sweet boy and cared for the y/s/c girl like she was his own flesh and blood. “It’s nothing.” Y/N whispered not caring if Teddy caught what she’d said or not. Frowning the frat president took the cup of the girl before giving it a quick sniff. Glaring Y/N snatched her cup back taking another sip. “You know you can tell me right.” Teddy added slinging a sweaty arm around the female in comfort. “You wouldn’t understand Ted just leave it.” of course though Teddy couldn’t leave it, if anything he was more curious now and he was going to make damn sure he got answers.  Attempting to wriggle out of the males hold Y/N sighed again “He’s going to hate me Ted.” somehow she couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out of her mouth. “Who? Nobody could hate you Y/N/N you’re too sweet for that.” Teddy whispered in reassurance.  Fiddling with her fingers Y/N choked back the gathering tears. “I’m pregnant Ted happy.” though she sounded snappy it felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Teddy huffed in disbelief at how distraught his friend seemed. “Well that explains the water you’ve been drinking all night. How about a dance.” Cutting the frat member off Y/N shook her head frantically. “One song?” Teddy begged hoping to get the girl out of her funk. 

Y/N was never really a big fan of Garf’s musical playlist but the fact he ‘contaminated’ it with Ke$ha for her meant she couldn’t really turn down Teddy’s outstretched hand. For a couple of minutes all seemed fine, like it was normal again. Well minus the fact the old guy from next door had challenged Ted to a dance off and lets just say there was no competition. But soon it all came crashing down. In a split second the girl went from letting her hair down to almost in tears at her naivety. There was Pete and Brooke hand in hand sneaking up the stairs, there was only one reason why people sloped off at a Delta Psi Beta party  and it was the same reason that caused Y/N to be in this little dilemma in the first place. Tears stung at her y/e/c orbs and it felt like time had stopped. Like Pete couldn’t see her due to being too loved up with the girl Y/N had thought of as a friend. Some sort of friend huh. “I think it’s best I… I’m gonna go.” Y/N told Teddy still in shock before stalking out the house party leaving Teddy to storm off after Pete and Brooke.

#gothicwidow #imagines #au imagines #gif imagines #au gif imagines #x reader #Pete Regazolli #Pete Regazolli imagines #Pete Regazolli x reader #movie imagines #movie x reader #Teddy Sanders #Teddy Sanders imagines #Teddy Sanders x reader #Dave Franco #Dave Franco imagines #Dave Franco x reader #Zac efron #zac efron imagines #zac efron x reader #bad neighbours #bad neighbours x reader #bad neighbours imagines #oneshot #oneshots #parts

[scrawlings-of-a-madwoman]

Millie and the Beast

Originally written for Write the World's sci-fi competition!

The heat of the day, paired with the weight of her sister on her shoulders, tugged at Millie’s constitution. Each heavy step felt like a burning nail piercing her foot. Looking up at the long stretch of pavement, flanked by crumbling buildings, Millie drew in a deep breath. She squeezed the ankle of her younger sister, and lowered herself to the ground. Jill slid off of her back wordlessly. In the distance, a large melted statue oversaw them all.

“Are those kittens?” Jill’s parched voice asked. She swivelled her cherubic violet eyes to look up at her older sister.

Millie looked around. She could hear a faint mewing, but couldn’t detect from which direction it came. Ahead of her, Jill was already racing towards a dilapidated house.

“Hey— Jillian!” Millie darted after her. Huffing and puffing, Millie clambered up the stone steps and burst in through the door, half off its hinges.The house had long fallen in on itself. Choosing the left hall, Millie called Jill’s name again.

“You can’t run off like that,” Millie wheezed, “If a Beast finds you, you’re done for— Jill?”

Huddled over a mattress, Jill cooed to an unseen party. Millie approached cautiously, and put her hand on her sister’s shoulder. Cuddled together inside the ripped-up mattress was a litter of kittens.

Millie tightened her grip on Jill’s shoulder. These kittens were Beasts. One, a longhaired white kitten, stared up at Millie with three eyes. Another lay still, two heads curled beside its sibling that appeared to glow green. A particularly playful kitten attempted to bite Jill’s finger, flapping its speckled wings as it wiggled its rump. Two rat tails swished side-to-side.

“Jill. We need to leave. The mother can’t be far away. C’mon, we shouldn’t even be in here.”

Jill sighed and stood, looking about the room. “Millie, can’t we take one? Look, there’s a normal kitten, see?”

One kitten, a tabby, lay facing away from the two. It didn’t move.

“No, Jill. Let’s go.” Millie held her wrist and started towards the door. Just as she was about to step out, a pink shine caught her eye.

Mille pointed for Jill to keep going, then hung back and went towards a wooden dresser. Perched atop the dresser, positioned as if for an Old Earth advertisement, was an MP3 player. Millie grabbed it, excitement coursing through her veins. She hadn’t heard a new song in years! Carefully depositing it inside the pocket of her cargo pants, Millie met with Jill outside the house.

“What is it? What did you get? Can I see?”

“It’s a secret,” Millie said. “I’ll tell you when we get back to the Park. You’ll like it.”

“Did you take the kitten? Can I name it? I’ve always wanted a cat named Garf, just like that comic we saw! Remember? Can I see?”

“It’s not a kitten,” Millie held out a hand for Jill to hold. “I found a music player. I’ll show it to you when we get back to the Park.”

Satisfied, Jill nodded and dropped her head. Millie fondly reached over and pushed Jill’s bangs out of her eyes. Almost feverish to the touch, Jill’s skin had a green tinge to it. Just as they were about to settle into a comfortable pace, Millie stopped short and looked up. She pulled Jill in behind her as an ear-piercing screech cut through the air.

Flying through the air with a wraith’s fury, a cat the size of a jaguar pounced from the sky. Mille pulled Jill into an alley, shielding her from view. The Beastcat turned around and the two met stares. Haughty golden eyes, three of them, with pupils as sharp as a needle, narrowed at Millie. Surprisingly thin, the mother cat arched its back and raised a paw. Millie’s breath hitched in her throat. Drenched in purple venom, the Beastcat’s claws were longer than any of her fingers. One swipe and she’d be paralyzed.

Millie spotted an open door not far from where they stood. She grabbed Jill’s wrist and bolted for it, slamming the thick metal door and scrambling up the creaky metal staircase that lay behind it. Looking around wildly, she pushed Jill up ahead of her. The building was brick, likely some sort of apartment building used during the days of Old Earth. A monstrous roar sliced through their thoughts as the terrible sound of a metal door being pried open became louder behind them. Once at the top, Jill darted down the right hallway, past some empty thresholds of trashed apartments. At the very end of the hallway, Millie saw, was one wooden door, perfectly intact. Nearly in sync, the sisters reached for the doorknob and twisted it open.

This apartment appeared to be in relatively good condition. The couches fully intact, albeit faded, the kitchenette appeared organized, though dusty, and from what Millie could tell, the barred windows had not a crack. It was rare to find a home like this that had not been ransacked for supplies. If not for the thick layers of dust and faded furniture, Millie might have guessed someone still lived here. A caterwaul snapped Millie back into the present.

“The bathroom,” she breathed to Jill, who nodded. “We smell like her kittens. We should find a scented soap to mask it.”

Even if they couldn’t find a way to mask the scent of Beastcat kittens, Millie figured their best chance was to hide in the bathtub and not make a sound. It was all they had.

“I’m sorry I wanted to pet the kittens,” Jill whispered as she clambered into the tub. “I heard mewing, and—”

“Shhh!” Millie was looting the closet near the sink. Pushing aside the towels and empty bottles, she nearly cried in relief when a bubblegum pink bottle fell into her hands.

With no time to spare, Millie uncapped the bottle and began vigorously rubbing her arms with the potent-smelling berry bubble bath. She locked the door for good measure, and stepped into the tub. Jill was soon doused in the sickly sweet scent. It was all for nothing.

The Beastcat made short work of the shoddy bathroom door, tossing it aside like it was a bothersome leaf. Millie covered Jill’s eyes and hugged her very tightly, uttering a dozen silent prayers to the gods of Old Earth. Allowing one eye to watch the radioactive Beast, Millie found it odd that a once-furious creature was now looking at the two with what seemed like curiosity, or perhaps a kind of understanding. She held on to Jill tighter. The Beast surveyed the room, folded its ruffled wings, and promptly turned around. It was like a switch had been flipped. Millie exhaled a sigh of relief. They were safe, for now.

#short story #sci fi #dystopia #sisters #radiation #apocalypse #post apocalypse

[lrvtpodcast-blog]

𝗪𝗮𝘁𝗰𝗵 𝗡𝗼𝘄 ▶ 𝙻𝚒𝚗𝚔 𝚒𝚗 𝚋𝚒𝚘 Things get dicey when Steven self-quarantines and can't leave his house, but Erick came through with a remote setup and beers from Finkel & Garf Brewing Company for the squad. Over a few cans of And the Crowd Goes...Mild! the boys argue about 5G conspiracies and discuss how reality may someday reflect some Black Mirror episodes. Also discussed: Norteña meets My Chemical Romance, Oye Delilah, Drake's new mixtape, what it takes to enjoy R&B, Elon Musk, and more! Recorded May 1st, 2020 𝗔𝘃𝗮𝗶𝗹𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗼𝗻 𝗶𝗧𝘂𝗻𝗲𝘀, 𝗚𝗼𝗼𝗴𝗹𝗲, 𝗦𝗽𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗳𝘆, 𝗼𝗿 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗽𝗼𝗱𝗰𝗮𝘀𝘁𝘀. (at Denver, Colorado) https://www.instagram.com/p/CADgKGwgN0k/?igshid=p0qgwc226i7n

[my-sad-little-diary]

Profile of a Cat: Goofy

Given Name: Garfield

Aliases: Garf, Orange Puff, Goofy, Goof, Boy Cat, Big Man

Age: 19

Sex: Male

Weight: Stick Creature

Breed: Domestic Shorthair, white with big orange spots

Mannerisms: Loved to piss on things to assert dominance, has even pissed on my matric jersey without me realizing and then I wore it to school and only noticed during assembly, liked to sleep and play with Kelly, smacked Kissie around sometimes and often sat in the sun with Jack, really liked my father and whenever he came to fetch me, Garfield would always come to say hello to him and once even pissed on his car to show his love

His story: Garfield was the first cat I ever had, my very first pet for myself. We had two dogs at the time and another cat that later gave birth to a number of kittens, two of which we kept and then from those two we got another when they died and she had a little of nine kittens, we kept two of them and the mother, they later all died of leukemia. Then we got another cat and two more. 

But it all started with Garfield. 

We had two dogs, two of the best dogs in the world, Toffee and Fudge (a sausage dog and Pomeranian mix). Those were my mother’s pets, she raised them. 

I wanted a pet of my own and I wanted a cat. So, at seven, my mother took me to a “cat lady’s” house. There were cats everywhere. Too many cats. I sat on one of her couches and thought the pillow was a cat, no one was injured. 

I don’t know how, and I don’t know why but I chose this two or three year old stray cat that was rescued off the streets and was still slightly feral. This was Garfield and he was now my cat. 

Garfield didn’t like for us to touch him too much, in the first two years of knowing him, he didn’t like to be petted or touched. After a very long time he warmed up to us and he would start sitting next to us or on the bed and it would freak us out a little, it was unusual, but I supposed that he knew his time was coming. 

Garfield had to have a few teeth removed, they began rotting in his mouth and he would often get into fights with the neighbourhood boys which led to infections in battle wounds. But every time we took Garfield to the vet he would have panic attacks in his carrier and he’d hold his paws out to grip the plastic grating so that his claws would rip and his hands would bleed. So, on returning trips the vet would give him a sedative so he didn’t hurt himself further. 

We always thought Garfield would die of old age and as the years went by and he didn’t we thought he’d live forever. I always thought that I’d wake up one morning and find him having died in his sleep but what happened instead was entirely different and shocking. 

In the morning at around 5am my mother received a message from a neighbour (who I later pieced together was the one that did it but I cannot make unsubstantiated claims) that a cat was lying in the road and was white and orange: a hit and run. 

We both immediately put our robes on and ran out the house to see, someone had played him lying in the gutter just next to our driveway. They left him in the gutter like a piece of trash. What made it worse was that as I was stroking his head to tell him he was no longer alone, a homeless man came up and started talking about how nearby someone had slaughtered a goat and pulled out its entrails. 

He then offered, for money, to bury the cat and I declined, almost ready to tell him to leave us alone. My mother went to fetch a towel to scoop him up in so we could bury him and this man was relentless, he even took it upon himself to pick Garfield up by his legs to swing onto the towel, I finally had enough when he started following us up the drive way with me cradling my dead cat in my arms. 

I finally just said: “My cat has died, can you please leave us alone to grieve.” 

I dug the hole in the back garden but I was soon overcome with weakness, dizziness and shaking as I hadn’t eaten since the previous morning, I had to ask my mother to finish the hole. 

I said a prayer and I covered him and placed bricks, in a tower-like structure, to mark his grave. Every time I get the cat’s food from the back of the house I look out the little window and into the back garden and see the bricks. It’s become a ritual. 

Garfield was my first cat, he was nineteen years old when he died, I loved him and I always will. He will not be my last cat, however, and certainly not my last rescue.

[garfield-ontherun]

oh, what to order...

#garfield #garfield the cat #garfs #garf on the run #garf leaves the house #resturant #menu #outback steakhouse

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

The best memes of 2018 so far

If you feel like you see bad news every time you log onto social media, you're not alone. Going on Twitter can be an overwhelming experience, with constant arguments, drama, and snitch tagging.

Memes are the only thing holding the internet together at this point. 

It's been a stressful year so far, but at least we have these memes! Let's take a walk down memory lane — meme-ory lane, if you will.

1. Eating Tide Pods

Vincent van Gogh used to eat Tide pods because he wanted happiness inside him

— lusty goth (@elkalumpy) December 27, 2017

The Tide Pod eating craze technically started in December 2017, but its effects lasted well into the new year, concerning parents nationwide. The forbidden snacks will always have a place in our hearts for the countless memes and cursed foods it inspired. 

2. What your child is really texting about

Is your child texting about @olivegarden? Here’s a quick guide to find out: OG: Olive Garden LMAO: love me an olive LOL: lots of lasagna ROFL: ravioli or flavorful linguine BRB: breadsticks rock, bro WTF: where’s the fettuccine STFU: some tiramisu for us

— jillian dradzynski (@jillianallyce) January 22, 2018

Concerned parents could breathe a sigh of relief as Tide Pod obsessions died down, but it seems like texting lingo will always be a mystery to the Olds. Luckily, a handy guide to common acronyms became a meme. What are your kids texting about? Probably Olive Garden.

3. Change my mind

pic.twitter.com/GgrxCUolVt

— Prodigy (@CSN_Prodigy) February 21, 2018

Sometimes you look at a meme and realize there really is hope for humanity. When a conservative podcaster/professional troll set up a table encouraging people to change his mind about "male privilege," the internet got to work and turned him into a meme. It became a platform to share your diciest opinions, from pineapple on pizza to the plot of Bee Movie.

4. Wholesome memes 

People have a knack for finding the good in anything, and as dark as 2018 seemed, the flood of wholesome memes gave us hope. While wholesome memes have been around for a bit, 2018 is their year to shine.

5. Gru's plan

If you have a brilliant, well-thought-out plan that ended up going wrong, Gru's plan is the meme for you. The four panel image conveys so much optimism and disappointment in one revelation, perfectly capturing what it feels like when stealing the moon doesn't go your way.

6. American Chopper hot takes

pic.twitter.com/4mb1m3lOHI

— Garf Gab (@GarfieldFanArt) March 22, 2018

American Chopper came back for a revival this year, prompting the internet to bring back an iconic scene from the original show. The destructive father-son duo became a meme for the hottest, spiciest takes. 

7. Build your perfect man

ladies you have $5 to build the perfect man $300 - tall $200 - smart $400 - rich $150- famous $2 - name is Paul $3 -is a mall cop $500 - attractive

— Lazy dog (@LaziestCanine) April 25, 2018

Does the perfect man exist? This meme encourages people to build their ideal partner. There's just one catch — you have limited funds and the characteristics you can afford are pricey. Guess you'll just have to settle for Paul Blart, mall cop. 

8. Who killed Hannibal?

This is a damn good contender for best meme of the year - all of the variations are good...but this one is the best pic.twitter.com/SwpOUAuRjk

— RickyFTW (@rickyftw) April 18, 2018

The "Who killed Hannibal?" meme is great for situations when you've done something shitty and need to shift the blame to someone else. Like Eric Andre in The Eric Andre Show, some people just refuse to take accountability.

9. Walmart yodel boy 

11-year-old Mason Ramsey went viral for yodeling in Walmart, and instantly stole America's heart. He performed at Coachella, landed a record deal, and released a single about being in adorable tween love. Walmart yodel boy slaps. 

10. Is this a pigeon?

pic.twitter.com/k90ssimgos

— Cat Graffam (@catgraffam) May 4, 2018

Although this image has been around since 2011, the meme blew up this year to convey absolute confusion. The meme originated from an anime, where a character points to a butterfly and asks, "Is this a pigeon?"

11. Ladies, imagine your best life

Ladies, imagine this. It’s 15 years from now, and you have no kids. You’re the cool wine aunt that occasionally comes back to the country for a brief visit before leaving for another long, exotic vacation. You have no commitments, and a suspicious amount of money.

— Em Treasure (@emtreas) May 22, 2018

A viral Twitter movement subverted a romanticized version of suburban life by asking ladies about their most ideal, most bizarre life. The meme covers it all, from (again) the plot of Bee Movie to imagining marriage with Stuart Little. 

12. Yanny or Laurel?

It's The Dress of 2018. The audio illusion tore apart the internet, with friends and neighbors turning against each other over whether a recording said "Yanny" or "Laurel." It was fun until the Trump administration hopped on and killed the meme forever. RIP.

13. Sad cowboy

they always say yeehaw but never ask haw yee pic.twitter.com/Zcqy3y1sbc

— fahad 🤠 (@ShlongUziVert_) March 25, 2018

Who hurt this sweet country boy? We just want to know. The sad cowboy meme (alternatively, and more accurately called "sad howdy boy") has been around since 2017, but popped up again this year. Someone needs to reach out to him and let him know that everything's going to be OK.

14. By the age of 35 

By age 35 you should have lost at least twice your most valuable information for lack of backups.

— Miguel de Icaza (@migueldeicaza) May 20, 2018

By the age of 35, there's really no need to have your life figured out. The meme plays off a report by Marketwatch telling people that by the age of 35, they should have twice their salary saved. Twice. Who even has time for that?? 

15. I am: gay/straight/bi

i’m: ⚪️ gay ⚪️ straight ⚪️ bisexual 🔘never gonna give you up pic.twitter.com/6lsdZkN4g0

— hanz💨 (@hasharakl) May 23, 2018

Broke: labels. Woke: RickRolling. The gay/straight/bi meme has it all: pop punk lyrics, nods to classic Vines, and poking fun at tired gender binaries and sexuality labels.

16. Distressed LeBron

When you leave all the doors open but your dog poops in the house anyway pic.twitter.com/LY8u7CqQzJ

— Harrison Faigen (@hmfaigen) June 1, 2018

Poor LeBron. His reaction after the Cavaliers lost to the Golden State Warriors became an iconic meme for, well, when you're too stressed for words. 

17. IHOb

IHOP is changing its name to IHOB and while people think it stands for “breakfast” I’m putting my money on BETRAYAL

— bea (@bayahhh) June 6, 2018

IHOP changing its name to IHOb for burgers was probably the most overhyped marketing ploy in history. The name change was thoroughly underwhelming, but sparked a hilarious Twitter feud between rivaling fast food brands. 

18. Melania's awful jacket

ok i am into this jacket pic.twitter.com/ZJdx4hwIsG

— sara yasin 😐 (@sarayasin) June 21, 2018

Melania, girl, what are you doing? The First Lady wore the worst possible jacket for a visit to meet detained immigrant children at the border. Was she trolling her husband? Was she messing with the mainstream media? Is she really that clueless? Either way, the $39 Zara jacket will probably be remembered as one of the memes defining this hell presidency. 

19. Alexa, play Despacito

nakia: t'challa was murdered in a ritual combat m'baku: this is so sad alexa play despacito

— beth (@sam_bucky) June 27, 2018

This is a beautiful shitpost. Reminiscent of the world's smallest violin meme, "Alexa, play Despacito" is the perfect reaction for overdramatic, not very sad news. Why is this meme so funny? It's not just not caring about the situation, but telling Alexa to play Despacito conveys absolute detachment from feeling anything. It's art. 

WATCH: IHOP tries to advertise its burgers and gets flamed

#_uuid:25b2624a-2ef3-3820-aaa3-b2026efbaa3b #_author:Morgan Sung #_lmsid:a0Vd000000DTrEpEAL #_revsp:news.mashable

[garfield-ontherun]

i went to the bowling alley today... pretty loud and flashy... the food was also outrageously overpriced.

the seats were quite comfortable, but the balls were pretty heavy, so i couldn't score that high. not my favorite place, but otherwise tolerable. 3/10

#garfield #garfield the cat #garf on the run #garf reviews #garf leaves the house #bowling #bowling alley #3/10 #garfs

[clowngremlin]

it’s only 8:20, but im in a positive mood so its time for my good things list!!!! i will be combining saturday, sunday and today’s because i havent written one since friday!! under the cut because its very long!!!

saturday:

-a very obvious good thing is my top surgery assessment!! i have already made a post about it but it went very well and i am excited for the future!!! it was also nice to see my gender therapist!!! he’s a really nice and cool dude!!!

-going to the mall after gender therapy!!! i went to a mall i dont normally go to because its in a different city than the big city and the city i live in, it’s in more of a city/suburb sort of thing, but it’s a nice mall!!! they have a great food court with a sick arcade but i didnt go to the arcade, i just walked around the mall!!

-i got some really fun keychains for my backpack and phone!! i got a waluigi one for my phone, a jack-o-lantern one for my phone, a popplio one for my back pack as well as a gengar in a pumpkin for my backpack!!! they were all really reasonably priced, because im pretty sure they’re imported from japan!!! i also wanted to buy some love live merch for hope and i, but they didnt have any of hope’d favorite girl, and the love live stuff as a bit expensive and i really wanted the other ones more but its good to know they have them there!!!

-got some delightful bootleg garfs at the mall too!! and for only $2!!!! it was so excellent!!! they also had a big garf car sticker, but i didnt have enough to buy it because i wanted to save some money for going into the city to go to my favorite vintage stores and the flea market!! also i dont have a car, but i thought it might be a fun sticker for my skateboard or sketchbook!!!

-went to my favorite vintage stores and got some nice things!! i got a cowboy shirt, and a cool cardigan that matches one of my new shirts i got for my birthday!!

-the girl working at my favorite vintage store complimented my outfit again and we had a lovely conversation!! we also talked to this dude who was buying a really cool shirt that i wish i could have bought, but im glad he got it because i have too many shirts anyways and also he was wearing a shirt i had tried on a few weeks ago, but didnt buy because i wasnt super into it so im glad it got a nice home and his outfit was so good!!! it made me feel better about being a masc presenting person who wears funky clothing!!!

-talked to one of my best pals on video chat because i was having a panic attack about work and it helped me calm down and it was so nice to talk to him :>

-in the morning before gender therapy, i got some quality puppy time and eli was very good and did excellent on his walk and made many new friends and was very snuggly!!!

-i wore an excellent outfit that consisted of a rainbow checkered button down @delusionaljellyfish gave me for my birthday, my favorite jeans, a pair of cool dinosaur socks that went really well with the button down, my favorite jacket and my favorite vans!!

-it was nice and sunny and warm!!!

sunday:

sunday was a bad all for the most part and i cried at work like twice and once on the bus going to my friends house from work but there were some positives so we will focus on that!!!

-worked with one of my friends at work!! i actually worked with many friends, but this friend is like an actual friend outside of work too so it was nice to work with her 

-did a good job sampling at work even though i wanted to not be at work and felt upset the whole time, i tried to not let it show and did my best and people really liked the samples

-heard a weird cover of the jeepers creepers song at work

-after i got off work which was early because of shift was cut which isnt good and i got upset and got in trouble for being upset about it, i went to one of my best friend’s house and we watched the umbrella academy and had some tasty drinks!! we also snuggled with her cat and she listened to be vent about work

-this gets its own point, my best friend bought me a creme egg mcflurry!!!! this is a double whammy, because it one, means its creme egg mcflurry season again and that’s one of my favorite treats, and two, my best friend bought me ice cream, which is always nice!!!

-the umbrella academy gets another mention because its so fun and i love it

-had a discord call with @delusionaljellyfish !!! i always love talking to amanda and she was working on a really cool drawing while we were talking and i love seeing her art, she’s so talented and im not saying that because i’ve tagged her in the post, im saying that because i genuinely feel it and its the truth and she deserves recognition for all the hard work she puts into her art and she is one of the most talented people i know!!!!!!!!!!

-also had a video call with one of my other really good friends!!!! we talked until like 1:00 am and he listened to me vent about work as well and we also talked about other really interesting topics!!

-got gendered correctly at work and had multiple people call me sir, and one guy called me buddy in that way that older men call young men buddy, which was nice and gender affirming

monday (today):

-got to sleep in!!

-got to spend lots of quality time with baby boy eli!!!! and i got payed to do so!!!!! i would have done it for free, because i had nothing better to do today anyways, but extra money is always a bonus

-it was nice out when i took eli for his walks, and he made new friends as well!! he makes new friends where he goes and everyone is so delighted to see him!!

-got gendered correctly by the people in my building for once because i dont think my dad has told them im a guy, and often misgenders me to our neighbors, but i think these people are new and so they dont know im trans!

-worked on my comic for a bit and listened to some reel big fish and had such a nostalgic throwback to being in elementary school because i used to listen to a lot of ska dfghjhgjdfgj

-had a phone interview that im hoping went well!!

-realized that i need to stop stressing out about work and all this shit that in the grand scheme of things, isnt a big deal!!! i have been through worse things, and those things were only temporary, much like how these things are only temporary!! things will get better and be ok!!!

-talked to many friends today!!! im in a fun discord sever with some new pals and i talked to some of them about being transmasc, i also talked to one of my friends from work after she tagged me in a post about not stressing about things which was actually really solid advice and i needed to hear it, and she said some really nice things to me!!!! it made me feel really nice on the inside!!! someone im online friends with also sent me a really funny mgs video on discord!!! i also talked to @bruisedratboy today and i always love talking to josh, he’s one of my really close friends and he’s great!!! and im also not just saying that because i tagged him in this, i genuinely love josh and think he’s a great dude!!!

-had a nice conversation with my dad when he got home from work and we hung out with eli and ate dinner!! he also made bacon sandwiches is which si tasty.....

-my dad bought me my favorite pop, which is the blue mountain dew!!!

-my brother and i had a nice conversation before he left the house in the early afternoon, and i helped him pick out a jacket to go with his extremely good outfit!! he also made me coffee which was really nice of him!!

-i got that extremely wonderful anonymous ask today!!! anon, if ur reading this, i just want u to know how much that ask meant to me, like i genuinely mean that. it made me so happy, especially since i’ve had some really fucky days lately and have been feeling really upset and not very positive, but im trying and so im glad my positivity is being appreciated and that u like my posts!!! i hope ur having a good day, and u continue to have good times and such things because u must be a wonderful and kind individual to send someone such a delightful thing and u deserve good things and i appreciate u so much, whoever u are!!!! this is what the anon feature is for, babey!!! sending people delightful messages and leaving good feelings!!!!

-i got followed by someone on instagram who makes really cool pins and if i can save some extra money, i will see if i can buy one some day!!

-eli was extremely cute today!!!

#the wretched gremlin strikes again #spencer's good things list

[clowngremlin]

today has been the first night in a few weeks that i don’t feel like absolute shit so im able to do the good things list!!! i should have done them all along, but i just felt really sad and didnt want to....without further ado, the good things list for the past couple of days:

sunday:

-went to multiple comic book stores and got some comics!!

-it was a beautiful day out, i actually had to take off my jacket and just be in a t shirt and jeans because it was so nice out!!

-got a large iced coffee with extra caramel

-went to the thrift store and tried on the ugliest sweater but didn’t buy it because i have too much clothing

-got a bubble tea from this bubble tea place i had been meaning to go to for months

-found out that the video game store near the sky train has mgs games for really cheap and so when i have money, im gonna go buy mgs4!!!

-my grandma and sister came over for dinner!!!!

-my grandma’s dog gets a special mention because i love him so much....his name is max and he is chumby but not in a way that’s unhealthy but in a way that he is just big boned dog!!! he is a very snuggly boy and loves to sit with me!!!

-my dad made a turkey and my grandma brought apple crumble!!!

-finished the umbrella academy!!

Monday:

-listened to a lot of mcr

-hung out with eli

-went for a walk in the big park near my house

not much happened monday, i was really sad for the most part 

tuesday:

-hung out with hope!!! we went to starbucks and i got a large caramel iced coffee, and we walked around the area and we went to the comic book store near my house, and we went to a wendy’s that was a liminal space!!! it was really nice to see them!!!

-it was a beautiful day out

-that’s all that really happened, i got kind of sad later on in the day for some reason

wednesday:

-woke up early to watch eli for my dad

-went into the city as a little outing!! went to a cool area and walked around and rode the bus a bit!!!

-this gets it own mention but i went to the value village in the area i was in and i found the best garf!!! it’s like a weird trophy thing and it was $3!!!

-while i was at the value village, someone complimented my pins and told me about a pin collecting group that meets up at the end of the month!! i might go!!

-got a large iced caramel coffee

-wore an excellent outfit that consisted of my mesh t shirt, plaid skinny jeans from hot topic, my jean vest that i put some pins on, my vans and i did some revenge era gerard way-esque eye makeup!!!

-went to the mall i used to work at to go to the hot topic, saw a pal who works there, got a junji ito pin and a neat patch!! 

-when i was at the mall, i saw one of my favorite regulars from my old job, and she asked why she hadn’t seen me lately and i told her i quit and she was really upset because everyone has been quitting and she was like “all my favorites are leaving!!! im going to phone head office and complain because this isn’t right!!! i have no shame!!!” because she asked me if i quit because of the new manager and i said yeah. she said she hopes to see me around, and i said she probably will!! im really glad i got to see her again because i was worried i’d never get to see her again!!! it also made me feel nice that someone liked me enough to be upset that i quit, because i was worried i wasnt any good at my job and that’s why the new manager was pressuring me to quit.....but i dont think that was the case!!

-went to the comic book store near the mall, had a nice conversation with the guy working there about the umbrella academy comics, and i found out that they can special order the comics i dont have in because they didnt have any in stock!! im gonna go back on the weekend when i have some money to get issues 4 and 5 of hotel oblivion!!! 

-got the biggest size of water at a starbucks and i was really surprised that they gave me it because at my work, we were only supposed to give people the tiny cups for water so when they asked me what size i wanted i was like ?? i can choose?? the big size please!! and they gave me a trenta!!

-had sushi for dinner!!!

thursday (today):

-my sister came over for a little bit this morning!! i didnt know she was coming, so it was nice to see her!!

-it was really nice out!!

-went to my school to get a document for my medical withdrawal, ended up leaving with some free oranges AND i got a free lunch because there was a special event happening!!!

-i got an idea for a zine on the way home, and so i asked my dad where my old sketchbooks are, and he said they were probably at my grandma’s, so we went after dinner!! i took some scans of my old art, got what i needed and some extra stuff for fun!!

-my grandma and her dog max get a special mention because i love them and they’re part of the reason im in a good mood today

-my grandma gave me a raspberry ginger ale

-my dad bought me mint chocolate chip ice cream!!!!! i didnt tell him to buy it for me or anything, he had stopped to pick up some milk and toilet paper at the store and when he came back he was like “oh i got u some mint chocolate chip ice cream” and it was so nice of him because i’ve been having a hard time eating lately, especially with finding things i actually want to eat, so i was happy

-i replied something really nice to a tweet my sister made and someone said something nice to me because of it!!!

#the wretched gremlin strikes again #spencer's good things list