#gave me a chance to refresh my Thriving shit

[spacetimewraithwrites-archive]

Requested by @pen-in-hand, all the even numbers of this ask game. The rest is under the cut!

02. What is one of your character’s biggest insecurities? Are they able to hide it easily or can others easily exploit this weakness?

Warren struggles with his self-worth in general. He often feels like he has no place in the universe, that he doesn’t belong, and he’s pretty good at hiding it from people who don’t know him really well (or, you know...those who can read his feelings just by touching his skin UWU lol)

04. What are their favorite traits about their lover? (one psychological and one physical)

It goes without saying that Warren is enamored with almost every part of Thrive mentally and physically, but his favorite physical trait would probably be his eyes (that’s something I include in a lot of my writing...I have a thing for characters with things for eyes lmao. mostly green and blue, too....huh). He loves their color and the fact that he can read him pretty darn well despite the fact that Thrive is very good at masking his true mental state.

I know it said one of each but I’d say he loves Thrive’s hands as much as he favors his eyes. He’s quite fond of their shape and bone structure, as well as the fact that when they’re not completely upending the laws of physics they’re twitching or flexing as if he’s not sure what to do with them at any given time.

Psychologically, the biggest thing that attracts Warren to Thrive is his intelligence. Over eight thousand years of knowledge exists within him and he’s extremely adept at putting that knowledge and wisdom to good use, and that’s a big turn-on for Warren lmao.

06. Do they have any hobbies that their lover finds unusual, odd, or otherwise annoying?

Hmm...Warren’s only real hobbies are coding/programming and dancing, and I think because Thrive comes from a planet and culture that never discovered the impact of dance, he finds it a bit unusual. More intriguing than annoying, I believe. He’ll humor Warren with a slow dance sometimes (twice in the books so far, once during a pretty emotionally heavy scene in...Eternal? maybe? maybe Aurora. I dunno yet. and once leading into their first big love scene in Rebirth).

08. What is, perhaps, their biggest flaw? Are they aware of this or oblivious to it?

Warren’s biggest flaw may be a little bit subjective but in my opinion, it’s the fact that he’s so willing to throw himself into the fire for good causes. His jumping headfirst into being on Thrive’s side before they even met, running headlong into the Milky Way war, going against Thrive’s explicit wishes (orders. they were orders.) and ███████ ███ ██ █████████, that kinda thing.

10. Is your character more feminine or masculine?

He’s more masculine in the “traditional” sense, but he’s not ashamed of his more “feminine” qualities. He’s been brought to tears on a few occasions and it’s important to him to maintain a good channel of open communication and honesty when it comes to emotions within any kind of relationship.

Except, you know...with Brayden when it comes to Thrive lmao WHOOPSIE

12. Is there some particular talent, skill, or attribute that they simply could not give up?

His gift with computers and tech has always kinda been expendable to him, he loves doing it but if he woke up one day and forgot how to do any of it he wouldn’t be as torn up as, say, one day he woke up and forgot how to dance. He got through his teenage years (though he almost didn’t) because of dance, and he could never in a million years willingly give that up.

14. Do they live alone or with family? How do they feel about their family/roommates?

If you were to get smartass-y, for like 99% of the first two books he lives with the entire universe since he technically is homeless. The once-uninhabited Tournaltis becomes his home in book 3, and while he doesn’t spend much time there over the course of the next books, it’s always an option in the background.

He ends up with seventy-one roommates and while I can’t say...well, anything about them (other than Thrive obvs), I can and will say that he isn’t sure what to make of them, in the most affectionate way possible lol.

16. Is your character the athletic type or more of a couch potato? What are some sports/games that they like?

Warren isn’t much of a sports guy, but he’s also not really a couch potato. He loves the outdoors and doesn’t like being cooped up in one place for too long, which is why being put up in the Destiny is especially hard on him. He doesn’t mind spaceships so much since they’re always moving from point A to point B.

18. What kind of home would they want to live in? Where would they place this abode?

To be true, his dream home is his grandparents’ cabin in Alaska. Off the grid for the most part, deep in the forest, right by the lake...’kay maybe not the lake so much, but he’s a loner at heart and always will be.

20. Does your character like animals? What are some of their favorite animals? Would they want pets? What about mythological creatures?

Warren doesn’t mind animals, but he’s not a big pet person. Interestingly, I think his favorite animal is the desert lights that come out at night over the beach on Tournaltis. They’re phosphorescent orange glowing insect-like creatures that float in the air over the shore, stretching from the water all the way back to the cliff face. He thinks they’re so interesting and they create a beautiful landscape, especially when the sky is clear and the Milky Way makes an appearance.

22. What kind of tattoos, piercings, birthmarks, freckles, and other such unique physical features do they have?

He’s still got a hole in his right ear (I think, yikes) from when he was fourteen and got it pierced, though he hasn’t worn an earring since, and he wouldn’t mind a tattoo if he ever came across a memorable or one with enough meaning. He’s got various freckles on different parts of his body, but no birthmarks.

24. In their own words, how would your character describe what their lover is like?

“Full of love and passion, unbelievable wisdom and an overwhelming sense of spiritual righteousness that only doesn’t come off as arrogance because he himself does not seem to be able to cope with the fact that he can’t save everyone in the universe.”

26. What is their lover like sexually? How do they feel about their lover’s quirks, needs, etc?

Thrive is not a sexual being normally. In fact, he’s only interested in the act when he’s physically interacting with someone who’s feelin’ some type of way, but he gets enjoyment out of Warren’s satisfaction and his unique emotional signature, so truthfully he only does things for him as they both equally benefit.

Warren feels a little guilty about this since he’s hardwired to believe that it’s important to make sure all parties are left feeling taken care of during intimacy...it takes a bit for him to get used to the fact that Thrive gets his kicks from him getting his kicks, lmao

28. If your character became a celebrity, what would they be famous for?

Well...he kinda is a celebrity? At least in the year 2272. I mean...he helped save the galaxy for cryin’ out loud. Truthfully not as well-known at Thrive, but the textbooks all mention Warren at some point.

30. When it comes to the arts (music, film, theater, etc), what does your character like?

He likes mostly indie stuff and some hip-hop and rock, both residual from his middle- and high-school years. He surprisingly doesn’t watch a lot of movies. He can appreciate art and actually dabbled a bit in painting when he was a kid, but he ultimately decided it was better left to those with a talent for it.

32. If your character’s lover offered to take them out on a dream date, what would they want to do?

Warren is pretty classically romantic in the sense that just some time under the moon(s) and stars is perfectly fine with him.

I’ve been thinking of including a scene in like, Eternal or something that likens to Mass Effect 3′s Citadel DLC...I kinda wanna put Warren and Thrive on a dinner-and-activity sort of date on the Node and play with how uncomfortable or surprisingly comfortable they may and/or may not be in that situation. Also kinda for a purpose as they’d be discussing the goings-on and their next plan or whatever.

34. Does your character have favorite foods? (breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, snacks, etc)

Warren likes all food at all times. Really, that’s truly it lmao

36. Does your character have any medical conditions? Are they serious or minor? Do they affect their day to day life?

He doesn’t have any medical conditions that I can think of off the top of my head...well, I mean...there may or may not be some stuff after Rebirth....

38. What kind of weather does your character like? Cloudy skies, rainy days, sunshine, etc?

He’s particularly fond of cloudy, snowy or rainy weather where you just wanna curl up under a blanket and sleep.

40. Does your OC have any guilty pleasures they enjoy? Hobbies, past times, music, etc that they wouldn’t want known by others?

Not really. Warren feels (like I do) that anything you enjoy should be done without shame, within reason.

42. Is there anything in your character’s past that they regret, haunts them, or they wish they could change?

He does regret how he could’ve left his grandparents. He regrets putting them through the horror of almost losing him, especially not that long after losing their son and their daughter-in-law to illnesses.

Not saying goodbye to the rest of his family, or anyone really, before the end of Destiny is a big one. Everything that happened on the Destiny, definitely.

44. Is there a particular event that would emotionally devastate your character?

WELP. I can’t quite...HUH. I can’t exactly...well, I can’t talk about it lol

Maybe losing Thrive somehow????????? and I cannot confirm nor deny that this happens. lmao

46. What is some random affectionate thing that your character always does to their lover?

He calls him “babe” a lot, which like...always makes my knees weak ngl lol

Also, he likes to try to get ahead of Thrive’s needs, waiting in their room to give him neck rubs after a stressful day on Tournaltis, for example. Or letting Thrive reach into his mind to be reassured or comforted or whatever it is he’s looking for at the time.

He also loves to flirt with him because his reactions are amusing lmao

48. Is there anything in particular that would ignite your character’s jealousy? Or does your character not get envious?

Warren is the most jealous before he’s officially in a relationship with Thrive. After that threshold’s crossed, not so much. His feelings toward Sussa in regards to Thrive before fully understanding the nature of their situation is uhh not great.

I mean sure, if he saw Thrive mackin’ on someone else right in front of his face he’d have QUESTIONS....

But he trusts him and knows that they could talk through anything if feelings shifted or began leaning a certain way.

50. If your character confessed love to their crush, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc, what would they say?

Warren would say, “I’m crazy about you. Insanely, tragically in love with you.”

And Thrive would say nothing. Cuz that’s canon lmao

#honestly thank you for this #gave me a chance to refresh my Thriving shit #ask games #profile: Warren #if I left something out or typoed or misread a question or anything I'm so sorry #I'm running on four hours of sleep but I'd be damned if I wasn't gonna finish this!!

[filmmakerdreamst]

‘Boy Meets World’ Re-watch (as an Adult)

‘Girl Meets World’ doesn’t count as a sequel. Not because of the writing/tonal choices but because in the original show - despite continuity issues - the characters felt like real people e.g. the way they spoke/acted/dressed was the way people behaved in the 90s where as in the spin off, they were Disney characters e.g. hyper versions of themselves especially Cory and Eric. And the transition between both shows didn’t come naturally. It’s not an objectivity badly written show but it was pretty much a re-do of the old show with the same storylines/tropes without continuing the story. (I say the same thing about ‘The Incredibles’. vs ‘Incredibles 2’.) Also there were too many cooks in the kitchen pushing one way or another. You could see Micheal Jacobs style, all the aspects were there, but he was also creating a ‘DISNEY’ show at the same time. I don’t know about you but the one message I took from the original show was ‘finding out that life cannot be packenged into a lovely little present ’ which kind of contradicts everything that the new show is. If anything GMW is an AU universe (and it really felt like that, rewatching it right after BMW e.g. it felt flipped) almost like Disney’s version of ‘what happened next?’ The primal difference between both shows is BMW is portraying what is real and GMW is based on what is real.

Going off my point, I will however be always thankful that it exists because I probably wouldn’t of found out about ‘Boy Meets World’ otherwise. Although saying that, I never thought that the original show needed a continuation of any kind (a lot of things make sense about the spin off if you acknowledge that Disney requested it - I think it would of been much better off on its original platform) ‘Boy Meets World’ was very much a product of its time i.e. when tv shows were still relevetivley new and had no rules - like there is stuff in there that not even adult shows today have. Plus there was something about it that felt very personal (such as the characters and setting) as if the creator based it on his own childhood growing up and I think that was part of its charm and why it had such a big effect on pop culture - I’m not so sure you can repeat that.

BMW is big on meta I’ll tell you that. I love how it’s so aware of itself. The amount of depth that it has never ceases to amaze me. It’s whole universe is so dense and huge. Every quote/storyline is so unique it sticks in your brain forever. (I swear the humour got more and more deranged every season). The show was also incredibly queer and progressive.  It didn’t give a crap about sexuality. Much more than I remember. Proof to never use ‘but it was made in the 90s’ excuse.        

I loved how the show kept reinventing itself every season as Cory grew up so you really felt you were growing up with him and all the characters. The Character Development on this show was so natural/authentic. Every single character got a chance to shine. No one changed their look in one episode and no one had an intervention every time someone had an identity crisis (GMW) My favourite development was Shawn Hunter. He went from a cool kid to a ladies man to a poetic soul. It was so satisfying to watch.

I realised that Cory Matthews is actually my favourite character (before it was Eric or Shawn) I already have a special soft spot for ‘annoying’ characters because they tend to be the most memorable/real. For example, Karma Ashcroft from ‘Faking it’ was my babe while everyone was hating on her. I really related to his anxiety/self hatred about being average and I loved that he constantly made mistakes. It was very refreshing. He’s also incredibly queer-coded. I found that alot of his mannerisms make sense if you see him with extreme compulsory heterosexuality (because identity’s such as bisexual or gay couldn’t exist normally in the 90s) There are moments in the show where he literally mimics his best friend’s behaviour around girls e.g. when the class pretty much gets brainwashed by the sex ed video in ‘Boy Meets Girl’ Shawn gets asked out by a girl, making Cory jealous - which pushes him to ask out Topanga.

It’s funny how a few years of life experience can change perspectives completely because when I was sixteen (aka the same age as Cory and Topanga) watching BMW for the first time, I was mad at Amy for ‘not understanding that they were in love’ (in ‘A Walk to Pittsburg’) but now that I’m older I’m actually agreeing with her. Yeah, what do they know about love? Because all season long they were acting quite superficially.

Cory and Topanga became somewhat of a toxic couple in seasons 5 -7. Reminded me of my parents relationship because my mum gave up her chosen university to be closer to my dad and they aren’t together any more. Topanga’s love for Cory was very conditional and Cory cheated on her multiple times/openly begged for sex  (Again like my parents) And you should never be in a relationship with someone who makes you say “You make me think not so very much of myself” There are arguably much more signs of emotional abuse than love in their relationship especially from Topanga’s side. Plus their story was altered so many times to give it more basis (they retconned Shawn and Cory’s friendship to do this) I could write an essay on how Kevin and Winnie’s love story on ‘The Wonder Years’ is much more believable because it actually addresses how toxic it was and they grow apart in the end. If GMW was a realistic continuation, they would be divorced with a little girl - leave them in the 90s where they belong.

Alan and Amy were couple goals! Cory and Topanga wish that they could have what they have. Literally the definition of ‘a healthy relationship on tv that keeps thriving and over coming obstacles without big drama’. Best TV parents ever.

I loved the Matthews family; how they all had individual arcs and developments of their own. One of my favourite arcs was in season 5, when Eric and Cory were both jealous of what they ‘didn’t have’ with their dad, so Alan made an effort to give them both that they needed. Honestly, I had never seen so much healthy communication on TV before. Alan is the best father around. His whole personal arc of giving up managing a supermarket because he wasn’t passsionate about it anymore and buying a mountain store was so inspired. I found it funny that the family had more of a relationship with Shawn than Topanga.

Shawn Hunter never caught a break. It got a bit tiring. He was never allowed to be happy for five minutes. Every time he laughed or smiled, 5 years were added onto my lifespan. Why didn’t Johnathan Turner adopt him? I loved their dynamic. Why did he let him go back to his abusive father who just dumped him anyway?

Jack and Shawn’s complicated dynamic was possibly the most unique/interesting arc of the entire show and no one talks about it. I don’t care what y’all say - despite them being very different, Jack was the only one who fully took care of Shawn without second thoughts (Turner and the Matthews family had doubts)

I liked Shawn and Angela. I thought they were much better suited than Cory and Topanga. I honestly wouldn’t of minded if they ended up together even though I always had a feeling they wouldn’t. (Like I’m glad she went with her dad in the end) And considering how important they were as a interracial couple in the 90s, GMW handled that very poorly.

Shawn and Cory should of ended up together. And before you come at me with ‘it’s important to have m/m friendships without toxic masculinity’ (which is an important arguement to have) - yeah no shit there’s an entire Industry based around that/pitting women against each other. While it is important to have those friendships between men that are close and even intimate (take Chandler and Joey, Schmidt and Nick, Isak and Jonas and Jake and Charles for example) there was also another layer to their relationship which the narrative played off sometimes as them “going out” or “in love”.  I actually recently found out that a writer - who came into the show in season 3 - confirmed that she wrote gay undertones into their relationship on purpose ‘In my opinion as a writer, they thought they were “straight”, they both didn’t realise or understand their feelings for eachother’ but couldn’t deliever because the producers wanted to keep the show “kid friendly”. Kind of like Xena and Gabby. I know people prefer Jack & Eric (I love them as well) but everything got ruined for me as soon as they introduced the ‘love triangle’ and I always tend to prefer emotional tension over sexual. They were just so unconditional with each other/ their friendship was so good and healthy and now I’m so bitter that it never happened.

I never understood why Shawn and Cory had to stop being best friends after he got married. He’s not Topanga’s property. I always hated how Topanga tried to interrupt/interfere with their dynamic — although now I realise it was because the two of them purposely left her out. Looking back at it, If it really was just a intimate friendship then why would she get so easily jealous if she didn’t sense there was something else deeper going on? You should never marry someone who puts you second.

I didn’t like Topanga when she was with Cory (or vice versa) Especially after they got married. She was a great character on her own. Feminist before her time. Hermione Granger before her time. I always felt she deserved a lot better than him in a way e.g. if someone I considered a friend speard a rumour around high school that we slept together - I would never speak to that person again. SHE SHOULD OF GONE TO YALE GOD DAMN IT. And as someone pointed out the other day, if the roles were reversed some of the stuff she does or says to Cory would be considered domestic violence. ‘She’s always blaming Cory on shit that isn't even his fault or makes him feel bad or shuts down his emotions and turns it around so he's comforting her instead.’ There was even a moment in GMW (not that I consider that show a continuation) where she locks him out the house for a few days after he insulted her chicken, and his son Auggie had to bring him spaghetti. If Cory was a woman, that would not be played off as a joke - that would be considered abuse. They were however a better couple in GMW ironically.

Angela Moore is now one of my favourite characters on BMW. She was beautiful. Her friendship with Rachel (and Topanga) was the best. And I frickin’ loved her and Cory’s friendship development - when they could of easily not played into that. I hate that she got villiaized in GMW.

My favourite seasons are 4, 5 & 1. My least favourites are 3 & 2 & 7. And even then the show was still pretty darn good.

The back and fourth clash between Turner and Mr Feeny in season 2 was very entertaining.

Mr Feeny and Eric are my favourite relationship on ‘Boy Meets World’. I love how Eric was the only person that Feeny directly told that he loved him. Also, why didn’t Eric become the new Mr Feeny? He showed more traits of becoming a teacher in the show than Cory did.

Eric and Tommy was probably the most heartbreaking plot line in season 6. (That season was an emotional train wreck) I cried for a fourth time. The world doesn’t deserve him.

I loved the development of Shawn and Topanga’s friendship. Even though there was a silent competition over Cory, they eventually became good friends. I found out that the song ‘She will be loved’ was inspired by them which is awesome but it’s also proof that people ship for less if it’s an m/f dynamic - just sayin’. I however see a more convincing potiental romance with the two of them than Cory and Topanga sometimes.

On Cory and Topanga again - they weren’t a bad couple overall. I liked them in s1 - 3. They had some great moments. But upon my rewatch (getting out of that 90s idealised headspace) I found them to be too similar at times - chafing as another person put it - to the point where they cancel each other out. A lot of people pointed out that Riley and Maya paralleled them and I was thinking “That’s not nesserily a good thing.”

‘Dream. Try. Do good.’ is on my mantelpiece.

#each to its own at the end of the day #boy meets world #rewatch #review #cory matthews #shawn hunter #topanga lawrence #angela moore #jack hunter #eric matthews #mr feeny #alan matthews #amy matthews #morgan matthews #girl meets world #cory x topanga #cory x shawn #shory #shawn x cory #shawn x topanga #bmw #tv show #shawn x angela #chet hunter #micheal jacobs #queer subtext #disney + #topanga matthews #corpanga #jack x eric

[disfordevineaux]

I don't know if you've done this before. But, do you have any Chase headcanons about his childhood or early teens? I'm kinda curious about how my favorite disaster boi could've been like back then 🤔

Chase childhood/teen/early 20s headcanons

I actually answered an ask I will link HERE with a little bit into what I think about his whole ‘growing up’ situation, if you can even call it that. I’ll delve a bit deeper into my hcs but I recommend you read that post I linked. It establishes my thoughts on his childhood to where a lot of these hcs will spawn from. So essentially this is a Part 2 of my Chase childhood headcanons. Going to focus on his late teens and early 20s.

As stated in my previous hcs Chase was an ‘orphan’ until his uncle (his mothers older brother) who magically showed up to adopt him for the government checks. His uncle was a long haul fisherman or something along those lines. This is where he officially received his last name of Devineaux once again.

I have a feeling his name wasn’t originally Chase. That being most likely his middle name or one he came up with which he changed to be his first, either shortened from something or just as is. He seems like an Alexandre to me. He would have negative connotations towards that name and preferred to decide a name a for himself rather than keeping the given name from a mother or family who didn’t really want him. He would have changed it once he left home.

No matter the living situation he was in, there wasn’t a lot of money around and if there was it wasn’t shared with him.

The majority of his teen years or the years that sculpted him into who he is now were in a town North-West of Paris along the coast. Somewhere like Dieppe, a fishing-port town.

You’d think by looking at him as an adult he was a bully or one of those ass hats at school who tried to be cool by being a dipstick or forcing a ‘class clown’ motif. In reality, he did everything in his power to blend into the shadows as he hated school, especially the social aspect of it.

Still, he was a sarcastic little shit when needed.

Spent a lot of his time outside or working dead-end jobs. Sometimes couldn’t return home or had to get into his house through a window instead of the front door.

Didn’t have many valuable possessions but had many crazy experiences like witnessing a flock of birds attack a drunk man, and won.

Was strangely optimistic about his future. Couldn’t get any worse than this, yeah? Yeah, it can and it will buddy.

Did watch Footloose religiously and intensely enjoyed it. *Wink*

He was reasonably good at school and tried to fast track it and graduate a year early. His application was accepted even with the few blemishes on his school academic report thanks to a few fights he partook in.

He was best at literature, English studies and writing in general. He was the top English and writing student and once even tried joining the drama club but the second he walked in the door he was instantly annoyed with everyone inside and did a full 180 out of that hellscape.

He then tried out for the sports clubs and teams but didn’t have time between work after school.

Chase actually made a friend during his last few years at school who managed to be the school’s main weed dealer (Chase draws chaos to him enough said). They actually were a good duo and Chase developed a serious attachment to him. His friend had a lot of money thanks to his business and often would get Chase to be his ‘bodyguard’ when selling to older clients.

They were both weird guys with different levels of intensity over random things. Both had that ‘dudebro’ vibe who would listen to Abba but in reality, the type of dudes who sit right next to each other in a hot tub, no need for 5 feet apart.

Somehow both comfortable with their sexuality which is refreshing. But, that won’t last long :(

They never got to really developed their relationship further before Chase left but it was a silent agreement between them that they liked one another on a physical and emotional level. They rekindled and I guess, ‘officially’ date when in the Air Force when training together. (Lovers in the military trope don’t @ me it fits him PERFECTLY.)

He and his friend were actually going to join the Air Force together. And they did. Chase first and his friend later.

Dude did some stupidly impulsive shit. Especially once he had a friend. Antics? Yes, many. Young, bored lonely boys with repressed feelings do stupid shit to fill the long hours. Jumping off things at high speed? Yes. Buring stuff? Yes. Smashing stuff? Yes. Listening to Green Day? Unironically, Yes.

No doubt they once burned down an abandoned house while trying to hotbox in one of the rooms. Nearly replicated the incident with the school DURING CLASS in the janitors closet. Boys just wanna get high and kiss okay?

Chase was born strong physically but mentally? Nar. Could fight a bear but would crumble under an anxious moment.

Never wanted to appear weak. It was what everyone expected but he never backed down from a fight or rivalry to his detriment. Stood up for himself no matter the circumstance. He always stood up for his boyfrie- SORRY I MEAN FRIEND.

He was an angry guy, mostly because people constantly tested his patience and intelligence and his home life was always a tense situation where there was no time to be soft or delicate.

Did get into many fights with one particular guy during school and out of school hours.

He was an attractive teenager. I like to think (like is a strong word) he was targeted by this one particular asshole because of their pent up feeling towards Chase. Chase either rejected his advances which set it all off or you just got that vibe from all their exchanges. Either way, at one point the tormentor made his feelings cryptically clear and Chase made sure they weren’t reciprocated.

One particular final fight between them, Chase wound up with a bat to the face which broke his nose badly.

The nose never really healed the best or back to how it was originally. This was something that scared him forever, becoming more resentful and unable to let things go. A lot more guarded from then on.

Chase used to be the pretty buff tall boy but the nose downgraded him to just a tall buff boy who has hints of a pretty boy in him.

Worked a few jobs during most nights. Needed money, mostly supported himself financially. Worked as a dish boy in a local restaurant and at the cinema as a cleaner. He always seemed to get the cleaning jobs.

Chase used to skateboard. He was pretty good at it too.

He started smoking young, around 15-16. And thanks to his companion, would often smoke weed supplied to him by his friend.

Loved going to the dentist when he could. He started eating those strong cheap dusty mints when he smoked as it was a cheap form of keeping his breath fresh after he smoked. Also, he thought it made him look cool and ended up getting addicted.

He wasn’t a joyless kid or teen, He just wasn’t one who smiled a lot.

Chase never really trained for his driving license. He just went for his test at the police station. They made him drive around the block once and they just gave it to him.

Chase: the aspiring pilot.

Chase wanted to be a pilot ever since he was young, specifically the French Air Force. No real trigger set that dream in motion, he just liked the idea of piloting a high-speed plane and seeing the world from up above. Moving fast is his ultimate goal.

He studied and prepared early to join the École Militaire de l'air (Military Air Force before it folded into the Air School). But you have to be over 18 and with his plans to complete school early, he would spend the year until then in basic military training, then would transfer over. All of this was to increase his chances of being accepted along with the examination, which he passed thanks to his passion for it.

Of course, things don’t always go to plan and even though he was on a path to graduating early a huge final brawl broke between him and a longtime bully halted this.

He had always fought with him specifically and this time, after years of building it all up, it hit the fan.  The incident put a hold on his plans and wasn’t able to graduate a whole year early.

Fast track forward and due to home pressures and school weighing him down he decided to just leave school and home and when he left, as one last ‘fuck you’ to his tormentor, his friend helped him break into his house and stole his car and drove it straight to Paris, abandoning it in the countryside just before. No one ever knew it was him and it is by far his greatest victory, as he knew how much he loved that car. Major mood. Chase was tempted to push it off a cliff in spite but couldn’t find one.

Chase still went into the general military before transferring to the Air Force once over 18 and acing his entrance evaluations.

Chase and his ‘friend’ managed to get in at the same time. Que, LLLLLLLL LOVERS!

They made sure they were in the same dorms, ‘classes’ and that their schedules lined up. They even swapped around so they had the same duties.

Chase thrived and was a great pilot. He achieved his pilots’ license and began working his way to completing the 2 years here then moving on to a higher position. His friend focused more on the engineering courses.

For someone spontaneous in an impulsive way, he liked the regimented schedule. It gave him purpose and meaning

Chase ended up getting kicked out after a massive brawl incited by an argument with another cadet about the particular notion of his relationship with his ‘friend’.

It was made clear to him such behaviour receives no second chances and was forced to leave, meaning he never officially completed his 2 years and was never allowed back in the foreseeable future.

Chase was desolated and once again hardened by this turn of events.

His 20s in a nutshell

Chase sought employment in the police force thanks to his military origins. He did, in fact, complete the basic military training aspect so he was a front runner for the police force.

He needed a job as all his money was wasted on a fruitless dream.

Spent the first few years of his police force employment as a ‘beat cop’ until his arrest numbers/success and work availability sought his promotion to a detective quite early in his 20s.

Chase was used to working full time and all the time at odd hours from very early on. He started his work career young.

They say you have 10 years in the prime of your career and Chase used that up instantly, shooting up the police then detective ranks fast due to how hard he worked, non-stop. His obsession and dedication with keeping busy and solving cases made him unmatchable.

Chase was physically skilled despite his smoking habits and mentally quick too, even if he acted dangerously without foresight sometimes.

He was very successful as a detective. It was his true calling

Chase has seen some nasty things and is a very good shot with a handgun.

Has he killed anyone? You decide. Personally? Yes, obviously. This has never and will never phase him.

He has been through so many police issued cars he now gets the second-hand cars due to how reckless he is.

Perused criminals with crazy car chases even when he was just a lowly beat cop. It got worse when he became a detective.

No doubt he kept and took home case files (sometimes even evidence) and didn’t give them back even when he became an Interpol liaison. He worked on those cases, he solved them, they are his. He keeps them all either at his apartment or in a storage unit.

Work became his life. His only vice.

Opted out for a partner as it wasn’t a department regulation just a personal option if wanted. Don’t need someone wasting his time, slowing him down or possibly taking away his shine.

Developed obsessive tendencies.

Detective work is competitive. You end up running around trying and fighting to get the best brutal murder homicide case as it will look great to your superiors. It was all a race to see who was the best. Chase was one of the best thanks to having no outsider life to distract him.

Somehow Chase wasn’t a suck-up his those above him. You would think he would be but Chase just enjoyed working and solving, completing things.

You are measured by your achievements and you have to be sure of yourself and your capabilities to survive in the race.

For work that was on the outside very heroic and selfless. Most detectives he worked around and ‘with’ were selfish, heartless and egotistical. The successful ones were anyway. Chase one of them.

He hated them all just as much as they hated him.

Ended up not caring for normal citizens and fellow employees disdain for his abrupt nature. Developed a superiority complex as a result.

But he remained composed and well mannered when dealing with victims and witnesses.

He was very susceptible to the alluring nature of the egotistic know it all.

All of this aged him rapidly. I have no doubt he is only in his early to mid-30s (in the show) but has aged himself visibly with unhealthy working hours and lifestyles.

(I’m not going to go too deep here as at this point I might as well insert my dam fanfiction. I have a whole story planned for what I think his detective days were like. I’ll give you a hint, it’s dark.)

Final relationships.

In regards to his love life? Don’t have one. One night stands? Eh, maybe very occasionally but he isn’t the sort of person to get wrapped up in such things. He is very professional and despite being touch starved he can live without physical relationships easily. They also make him uncomfortable now due to certain events.

His ‘friend’ asked for Chase to wait for him, that once he was finished in the Air Force his partner would come find him. Chase did for the entirety of his 20s and pretty much would for his entire life. First loves are hard to forget.

They only met up again once when Chase was in his late 20s and his friend no longer felt that way towards him or that kind of way anymore. He had a family. Chase sort of understood that his lover realistically would have moved on and blamed himself for not looking for him instead. He became obsessed with his success with work after all.

He couldn’t comprehend why his friend would finally contact him after all these years just to tell him he didn’t love him anymore. He always assumed it was to tie up loose ends or to make fun of him for waiting. To hurt him.

Chase was physically and mentally devastated to say the least. Especially when the last interaction they ever had was his old friend handing him a goddam conversion camp pamphlet.

This really dragged on and I’m sorry I really went off there. I hope it was at least relatively what you were after.

#this got so out of hand IM SO SORRY ITS SO HUGE I- #SOme one confiscate my brain from me #disfordevineaux ask #chase devineaux #carmen sandeigo 2019 #carmen sandiego #devineaux #inspector devineaux #netflix #disfordevineaux #headcanon #hc #ask #cs chase devineaux #cs 2019

[texthemess]

Matt & Elektra + finding an apartment together

this one i had waaaaayyyyy to much fun writing. since i have roleplayed matt murdock for a long time this was super in my interests. ugh. i hope you guys like it.

------------------------------------

Lush life.

( gif credit: elektranatchios )

A groan escaped beaten lips as the Murdock boy turned in his foggy state. Arms reaching above his head in order to stretch sore muscles. A dark haired beauty stirred beneath silken sheets next to him. Her voice trailed lightly as she reached for him tracing her hand lightly down his chest before coming to lay at his collarbone. That night before had taken a big toll out of both of them. He may be in pain now, but they definitely had fun together. 

The nights were, more fun, when Elektra was at his side. He would have it no other way truly.

Raising her hand to his lips he scattered light kisses upon smooth skin. They both had bruises to bare, yet it seemed he got the shit end of the stick. Then again, she was far more attentive than he was. It could be in his blind state, he could always pull that card. But truth be told she was just, better than him sometimes. Yet he would never admit to it. If he ever did he would be in big trouble that was for sure. She would never let him live it down.  

‘ Hey…we should get up. Get a start to the day. We have a few places we need to look at. That is, unless you wish to stay here in this loft of mine forever, ‘ he chuckled lightly under his breath as he sat up with a groan. Cursing off his sore body and whatever trouble they found themselves in the night before. She sighed out as she stretched across the entirety of the bed as he moved.

‘ Ahh as lovely as that sounds, unlike you that giant neon sign does in fact bother me and keep me awake at night, ‘ gentle laugh left lips as she rolled closer and ran kisses up his back to his shoulders. Sighing with content she pushed him up to get moving.

Elektra herself slipped from the silken sheets with ease as she took stride towards the bathroom. Her skin sleek in the light drowning in from the shades in the living room. That woman wouldn’t be caught dead sleeping in clothes. With a boyfriend who was blind and a bed so soft, who would waste time wearing clothing in bed? How boring. Plus it gave her the opportunity to mess with Matt every chance she got. She knew he could see her in his own way, that didn’t stop the blind jokes none the less.

Standing before the mirror she stretched arms above her head and let out a graceful yawn. Black hair cascaded down muscular back as she ran her fingers through the strands. Groaning at the sudden glance of a black and blue bruise that took over the skin of her shoulder. Lips poured as she realized she wouldn’t be able to wear her favorite dress that day. Eyes rolled as she washed her face, brushed her teeth, and made way to the small closet that held mostly her clothing.

Fingers fumbled through each hanger feeling the fabric of each piece. Free hand propped against hip as she tapped her forefinger lightly upon flesh, ‘ aha, ‘ there it was. A sleek red dress with long sleeves and a swoop neck to give enough cleavage to make herself confident in the day. As she slipped the garment over her body she tugged and settled the fabric by smoothing out atop her legs. Gave herself a twirl in the mirror and back to the bathroom to fix her makeup.

Matt was far less of an ordeal. Each worksuit labeled by day and week. Something foggy helped him with back in the day though matt was perfectly capable of putting his clothes together himself, he thrived in playing along with him until he ended up finding out the big secret. But it wasn’t a workday, it was a beautiful day off with a beautiful creature who was in the process of looking for a place for the two to move in together. He went for a basic long sleeve shirt that matched the intensity of style of her dress, dark jeans, and a warm jacket. Though they were in the middle of summer, New York still held its cold rainy days.

And how he much rather would take her clothes off and keep warm by rolling around in bed, or the floor, they still had things to do.

Clearing his throat he leaned against the frame of the bedroom sliding door as he smiled warmly. Unfocused gaze directed in her general area, “ are we ready to go? We’ve got a whole list Elektra, “ his voice calm and loving as she strides out of the bathroom heels clicking upon hardwood floor, ‘ ready. Let’s go. ‘ holding her arm out to him she nodded. Linking his arm within hers he used free hand to grab his cane, keys, and out the door they went.

The cool rainy air was refreshing to heightened senses as Matt’s eyes fluttered closed. Inhaling deeply as he cracked his neck side to side. His body tensed with the new found cold that seeped into his sore muscles, but god was it a good wake up call. Ears perked as he could hear Elektras skin raise with goosebumps and heart skip a beat. Smile tugged on lips as he leaned to her and placed a firm kiss upon her temple, “ Matthew, “ gentle laugh laced her voice within her throat.

The two walked slowly, taking their time down the street. The first location was not to far from the current loft Matt rented. A black car followed them slowly block by block in case they wished to use it. Elektra was so high end in her tastes. Yet she thrived in making Matt feel just as comfortable. If he wished to walk, they were to walk. Heels clicked against the concrete and echoed in Matt’s very soul. What would he do without her?

After a few minutes, some laughs, and light conversation the pair arrived at their first destination. A high end loft building in the midst of downtown. It was very tall, very clean. Matt chuckled under his breath and cleared his throat, “ oh come now Matthew have a sense of adventure, “ she tugged his arm inside as they arrived to the front desk. It was very classy from what he could sense. A water fountain trickled lightly within the quiet lobby. Some leather clad chairs surrounded a fire place that was lit and crackling with each pop of a wooden log. He could smell the fire from even outside. It was soothing.

“ hello there, my name is Elektra Natchios we have an appointment to tour some lofts, “ a few clicking of keys and a nod, the agent held his hand as he spoke quietly, ‘ please, follow me, ‘

This was all so much for Matt. The Murdock boy who grew up in the ghettos of Hell’s Kitchen. He never had much as a kid and certainly had little as an adult. It made for his life to be simple, uncluttered. The apartment he grew up in sometimes not even having electricity or water due to being turned off by lack of bills being paid. Though he was far better off now, especially with Elektra around, it still seemed too much.

As the elevator climbed dozens of floors, Matt seemed to drown out the escort who was informing them of all amenities and requirements of the building. Security protocols, courtesy officers, key cards for entry to almost every door in the building. It all was too much. Instead Matt listened to the sound of Elektras breathing. It kept him calm and blood soothed. Eyes fluttered closed as she inhaled, exhaled. Chest rising, and falling. Every so often a few strands of hair would fall and brush against her cheek. Sliding gently down porcelain skin. How he would do anything for her, kill for her, she brought out the best and worst of Matt Murdock.

The sudden ding of the elevator catapulted him back to reality as he groaned under his breath. He was in such a zone. Clearing his throat he followed, “ you are being quite the silent type sir, are you finding everything to your liking so far? “ shit he’s being talked to now. Head cocked to the side as he chuckled under his breath, “ oh yes, yes. This is quite unlike anything I’ve ever seen, er, experienced. “

Ah yes, the quick side step of, I’m actually blind nice to meet you. With a shake of her head Elektra squeezed his arm with reassurance. She knew this wasn’t really his style. And that was okay.

The loft was gorgeous from what he could sense. The walls smooth with marble tiles. Another fire place that lit with the flip of a switch. The propane smell filled his nostrils as it was flipped on. The lights soft and bright enough to not cause a headache. Elektra walked to the massive glass window. Ceiling to floor just as she liked it. The view of Hell’s Kitchen breath taking from that height. There was an island in the middle of the kitchen where she ran fingers lightly across the stone top. She loved it. Everything about it was her type of environment. That’s where the two seemed to differ in their relationship. Yet, if it’s what made her happy, it’s what he wanted.

Smile crossed Murdock’s lips as she walked around taking it all in. He was doing the same, in his own way that is.

Stairs that cascaded up towards the ceiling that lead to a second level. The bedroom on the other side of the wall with a bathroom fit for the queen she was. A waterfall style shower. Tilting her head Elektra bit the side of her lip. She whispered under her breath so only he could hear her, “ imagine all sorts of fun we could have in there, “ in the silence of the loft matt chuckled out. The escort glancing his direction with a raised brow, “ everything alright sir? “ “ yeah I’m sorry, i just remembered something I— my friend told me a funny story last night, “

Elektra smirked to herself as she returned to them, “ it’s gorgeous. I love it, “ Matt smiled warmly as she was glowing with excitement. This was definitely her speed. The escort clapped his hands together and motioned towards the door, “ wonderful. Shall we go fill out some paperwork? “ grabbing Matt’s hand she cleared her throat as they made their way back down to the bottom floor.

“ I would like to have time to think if it’s all the same with you. We will have an answer by the end of the day for you, “ a faint slightly defeated smile crossed the escorts face as he gave a slight nod, “ as you were. I am here until 6 pm. Otherwise you shall have to make another appointment, “ “ that won’t be necessary. Thank you for your time, “

With that she smiled warmly, grabbed his card, and out the front door they went. She knew Matt was hesitant and she took him to their favorite coffee shop around the corner down a few blocks. As they ordered and sat upon the soft plush chairs of the cafe, she reached over and placed hand upon his own gently squeezing him, “ I know that is not your level of interest, Matthew, “ clearing her throat she tilted her head as he listened to the hair dropping from her shoulders, “ if it is not a place you would feel comfortable, I don’t wish us to take it. But it is definitely the best option out of our list today. That doesn’t mean we can’t look for the rest of the week. “

With a shake of his head he reached up pulling her close to him and placing a gentle kiss upon her lips. Her heart skipping a beat every time he surprised her in such a way. A soft moan escaped her lips as he pulled away, “ Elektra your happiness is my own. If that is the place you wish to have, then it’s the place we shall call our own. I’m blind remember, what does it matter to me? “ he chuckled lightly as he brushed his thumb down and across her lower lip.

A faint smile as she returned the favor with her hand gently at the side of his face, “ you are too good for this world Matthew Murdock. I do not deserve you. But in my blessed state of calling you my own, let’s sign those papers so we can break in that new shower. I’m dying to test it out, “ she laughed out as he shook his head and crashed his lips against hers one more time.

The coffee they ordered was placed upon the table before them as she thanked the waiter. Lifting the cup to her lips she blew the hot air away slowly and downed a few sips. The warmth filling her soul and causing more goosebumps to raise on her skin.

Matt sat simply taking in everything around him, she was, simply put, his world.

#matt murdock #elektra natchios #daredevil #daredevil fan fiction #fan fiction #marvel #netflix marvel #daredevil show #marvel comics #fanfiction

[rkmeiqi-archived]

AUGUST EVALUATION — CENTER PERFORMANCE !      now playing: runaway by pentagon || line distribution        ╰ ft. @rkhoon, @rkjimin, @rkkangjoon, @rkxjongsuk, @hyojongrk, @rkkmh, @bambamrk, npc #1, npc #2

when she had first heard about the month’s evaluations, the concept should have excited her. taking on the role as a center in a performance of her choice—for someone who thrives off of attention, this should have been meiqi’s priority for the next 31 days. but life, she hates to say it, worked in callous, unjust ways no matter how hard she tried to rewire her brain to think otherwise. she can’t change facts.

the thought of even going to the nova building didn’t dare cross her mind for the first three days of august. meiqi found temporary purchase in a hospital chair by her cousin’s side, and only when he woke from the coma did she bother to remember that she’s a trainee with responsibilities, and she had disregarded them all without as much as a notice. so, after promising yukhei that she would visit with every chance she had, meiqi took off towards the nova building before any of the staff members noticed (she figured they already had, but were being lenient due to her recent model behaviour).

the lecture she got upon arrival had grated on her nerves. rather than punish her for her sudden disappearance, they wanted to reprimand meiqi for posting a god damn song. there was no “hello, meiqi, how have you been?” or “gee, you look like shit. did something happen?” at that point, she would have preferred to get yelled at for acting rashly so that she could unleash all of the emotions about her cousin that weighed on her shoulders. she hadn’t talked to anyone about it except her aunt, so a few sobs might have gotten her off the hook.

but no. nova didn’t care about anything except the possible profits they could lose off of a mere upload onto soundcloud. despite the staff member being semi-kind, meiqi couldn’t control how… insignificant she felt, and so of course, she had to make it worse.

“i’m not sorry for it.”

she had ranted about it to yukhei that evening, without knowing what else was to come. in a desperate attempt to get her to stop complaining, her cousin offered to help her choose her song for the evaluation (she ended up picking another, but she didn’t tell him that).

in the morning, meiqi had dashed around the seocho complex to find groups to join. initially, she had wanted only one other performance so that she could work on it quickly and then return to the hospital before visiting hours were over. somewhere along the way, after images of yukhei wrapped in bandages kept appearing behind her eyelids every time she blinked, meiqi had joined three other groups so that her mind could constantly be occupied; if she gave it no free time, then maybe she wouldn’t have to think about the fact that she almost lost her cousin the same way she lost her father.

and then those assholes had to make everything worsen, tenfold.

was hyun bin really stooping so low? meiqi couldn’t help but wonder if katie lee would treat her trainees in a similar way, or if she’d be much warmer. she liked to believe the latter, and for once since joining nova, she wished it had been another company.

for the next week, she had to deal with being monitored at a two-to-one ratio from lunch to dinner. the instructors were not kind, but maybe that was because meiqi refused to abide by their rules for the first two days. by day three, she decided to just grit her teeth and smile contemptuously. they had learned that running laps was no hindrance to meiqi, but push ups were; there was no way she was going to get down on that filthy floor, nor was she going to deal with the ache in her arms that followed.

though her afternoons were ruined, meiqi still tried to put her all into practicing each and every performance. rather than going to the hospital as soon as training ended, like she had promised, meiqi stayed until the early hours of the morning. whether it was to practice with other trainees, or to go through the motions of choreography herself, or memorize lines, almost every night consisted of only 3 hours of sleep at most, with the floor as her bed and her jacket as a pillow.

when august 11th came around, it got easier. she didn’t have to worry about the snobbish ladies whose sole job was to torture meiqi. from the texts her aunt sent her, yukhei was also doing much better and would be discharged soon. two of her biggest stressors were gone, and that was the first night meiqi returned back to her apartment and slept in her own bed, for a good 6 hours (she slept like a baby in chungha’s arms). the experience had her feeling refreshed, bringing back her positive attitude so that she could collaborate with her teams to the best of her abilities.

by the time evaluations rolled around, the colour had returned to meiqi’s face and the dark circles under her eyes had almost completely faded away. though her frame looked thinner from the intense weeks prior, most of her energy had returned, and her body was tingling in excitement to finally perform as a center.

she introduces her team and the song she will be performing: runaway by pentagon, and eagerly urges everyone to get in their places.

when the music starts, meiqi steps out into the front. she had practiced her facial expressions in front of a mirror whenever she visited the restroom, and had cycled through many before settling on the perfect one for the opening beats. she found that the best faces were the most natural-seeming ones, especially when it came to being sultry. being in a group of all boys, she had shown them each of her flirtatious expressions to find the best one to showcase; she does so, effortlessly, and hopes that when everyone rewatches these performances in september, they’ll collectively cheer in acknowledgement.

she delivers her first lines easily, what with the lack of movement so far, and they come out loud and smooth as if they were pre-recorded. meiqi comes to the front of the stage, her hand trailing across her neck as she sings: “just leave me alone. you can’t stop me” and then, along with jihoon and another trainee, she drops to her knees.

meiqi’s glad her performance is only the second out of all the groups she’s a part of. she’s not harbouring much prior fatigue from having already taken the stage one too many times, and she doesn’t have to worry as much about carefully pacing herself, since at this point, she has lots to give. the only performance she has done so far is kangjoon’s and it served as more of a warmup-slash-rehearsal for hers.

when meiqi takes center again, this time for the killing part in the chorus, her movements are fluid and concise. she doesn’t hesitate to bite her lower lip at the slow part, before replacing her alluring gaze with an intensely focused one as the choreography gets harder.

while watching the choreography of the song at the beginning of the month, meiqi was most eager to do the part where she could have the spotlight solely on her, to showcase her skills without anyone else moving. it just so happened that, following that split second, meiqi had to get close with one of the trainees.

“i’m being colored gray more and more with a frustrated heart, i close my eyes again oh yeah”

she doesn’t mind physical contact at all. jihoon was another case, but they had practiced enough for her to not dwell on the what-if’s regarding his failure, and just do it. meiqi trusts the boy, and she knows that he’s worked hard to improve and not let his timidity get in the way. when his hand passes down her arm confidently, meiqi has to suppress the proud smile that threatens to ruin her performance. instead, once he grabs her hand, she gives it a quick squeeze, as if to say “good job, you did great” before spinning around and crouching to the floor.

her cousin viian had asked, during one of their routine skype calls, why meiqi had chosen a boy group song instead of a girl group because it would have been easier to balance dancing, expressions, and singing live. meiqi had snorted at the idea. she wanted to display how much she’s improved in the 8 months between her audition and now, but also, why would she ever take the easy way out? meiqi loves the difficult choreography and the sort of elegant vibe that “runaway” has. no girl group song out there right now could take runaway’s place, or even had a chance at doing so.

“take me out, please hold me”

following meiqi’s last line, she can finally throw caution to the wind regarding breath control. she can give her all, knowing that she’s done incredible. in some twisted way, she wants to thank those trainers that pushed her for that first week, because the amount of extra exercise she had done, had done wonders for her stamina. meiqi, despite dancing like she’s never danced before, feels like she could do it a million times more (perhaps that’s good, considering she has two more non-center performances coming up).

the final chorus has meiqi placed in the center, and it feels like she belongs there. ever since she was a kid, she had a feeling that she was born to be in the spotlight, but this performance just solidified the thought. it feels like she’s actually an idol, performing on a music show stage, with cameras capturing her every smirk. she loves it. she wants to feel it again soon.

the song ends with every trainee holding one arm in the air, their heads tilted backwards to stare at their fist. seconds pass before meiqi drops the pose and cracks a smile. she bows a full 90 degrees in the direction of the panel of coaches, hoping they know that she’s being sincere right now rather than how she had been acting two weeks ago, before thanking all of the trainees that had helped let meiqi shine. she hugs each and every one of them, and even if all of their skin is sticky with sweat and they’re still panting to catch their breath, meiqi’s smile doesn’t fade.

#rkaug18eval #tagging bc mentioned: #yukheirk #rkhoon #(very brief) #word count: 1.7k-ish #mmq;solo

[hannahwatchesbigbrother]

BB20 First Impressions/Predictions!

It’s that time of year again! Please ignore this long post if you don’t care--it’s for my own amusement.

Faysal- There’s nothing I inherently dislike about him. I don’t know, he just seems too soft to me. I can’t see him going very far unless he gets into a showmance or a bro alliance (which is likely to happen but still). I think he seems sweet though, but I see early jury for him.

Tyler- I, weirdly enough, quite like him. He kind of reminds me of Johnny Mac, and I think he’ll end up being a secret threat in the game. I appreciate that he knows his archetype gets evicted first haha. I can see him going really far, actually. Maybe winning.

Hayleigh- She’s cute and bubbly! (I’m a bubbly person, so I like bubbly people haha) I think she’ll inherently go far. She seems easy to like and nonthreatening, but I can see her saying something maybe early on that gets her booted earlier. Her bio gave me weird Aaryn vibes, but her interview changed my mind on that--now she reminds me of Shelli. I have high hopes for her overall.

Brett- I thought his bio was funny for some reason haha. But then I watched his interview, and I got the full picture: he’s the bland white boy of the season. He’s going to take over and dominate for the middle part of the season and we’re all going to hate him until he eventually wins or has a tragic downfall. He feels like a less iconic version of Cody.

Angela- “Girls are threatened by me” “Naturally I relate more to guys” blah blah blah. She likes Rachel Reilly though so #respect. I don’t think she’ll have a good time figuring out big pictures, and she’ll get blindsided pre-jury because she’s a threat. She kind of remind me of Becky or (bb16) Amber? I don’t know enough about her to hate her, but I don’t really like her.

Bayleigh- Omg I love her. I think she’s so iconic already haha. I don’t know how well she’ll do in the game though (especially early on if a guy wins HOH, I’m a bit worried for her). My gut tells me she’ll probably be an early boot (which I hate to say), but I do think there are certain scenarios she could thrive in.

Angie/Rockstar??- I don’t know how I feel about her haha. I think I like her? She’s seems very honest and real which I don’t think you find too often in Big Brother, so that’s refreshing. I can’t really see her going any further than pre-jury though. Sure, maybe she’ll surprise me, but I think she’ll be too inherently off-putting to make it far. She’ll be the “easy” target from day one just because she stands out.

Kaycee- I like her overall. I think she’ll end up being a floater, and we might see the return of something a kin to #BeckyUpdates with her (just because I can see her getting along with mostly everyone and staying out of drama, so in terms of the show, she might not be the most relevant). I think she’s cool though and very genuine. I think she could place top 6 if she doesn’t come off too threatening in the beginning.

Rachel- There’s something about her that I like. I didn’t like all her answers in her interview with Ross (”I want a showmance” eww. “I’d rather lose and be loved” also eww), but there’s a certain genuine quality that she has that I like. Also I inherently like theatre girls because I’m a #theatregirl. I don’t know--I can’t place where I think she’ll place. She’s someone I’m very interesting in seeing how she is in the actual house.

JC- Aww, he’s fun! I like him a lot. He might end up being a bit too much, but you know, most iconic houseguests are a bit too much at some point haha. I have no idea how he’ll do in the actual game though. I can’t even pinpoint if he’ll go pre- or post- jury. Either way, I think he’ll be fun, regardless of how long we have him haha.

Chris/Swaggy C??- Haha I like him! He’s very real, and I hope he ends up going far because I think he’ll be a lot of fun. I think as long as he doesn’t become *too* confrontational, he’ll be fine, but he does run that risk. Part of me wants to say that he’ll be a pre-jury boot, but something in my gut is telling me top 4 or 5.

Steve- I think I like him? Weirdly enough haha. I don’t know why that whenever they recruit an older person, they always choose a family man guy who sounds like he could be in the mob, but I think he has the best chance out of all of the ones they’ve had haha. It’s always hard for me to say where I think these old guys will place because they always display that they know strategy and could be good players, but they’re always at such a disadvantage because the rest of the cast is no where near their age range. I don’t know. I like him, but I’m not attached.

Winston- Okay, I didn’t like him from his bio, but I like him a lot better based on his interview. Out of the “bro-y” types, he’s my favorite so far. I feel like if there were to be a “Brigade 2.0,” he would be the Hayden. He’s very cute and likable, and he seems to know a lot about the game. He’ll inherently do well as long as he stays out of trouble, and if Big Brother repeats itself (as it does sometimes), he could be a potential winner.

Scottie- It’s like Cameron and Ramses had a baby and then Johnny Mac and Steve had a baby, and then those babies had a baby and he was Scottie haha. I don’t know how I feel about that. I usually am not that put off by the nerdy archetype, but I feel like there has been so many iterations that I’m over it by now. However, I feel like he’s more overbearing than the usual archetype, so I don’t see great things coming from him, but who knows. I think this is looking like a quirky cast, so that might help him.

Kaitlyn- Omg she’s so iconically cracked and hippie dippie. She’s not going to go far. She’ll probably be used as a pawn and go home with a vote flip or something. I don’t know, but I’m along for this ride that is Kaitlyn and her hippie dippie shit haha.

Sam- She’s cute. She reminds me a lot of Jordan. I would say that she’ll probably be an early boot, but I think she’ll be a dark horse in the competition. I think she’ll be able to make strong bonds and make it far based off that. Who knows? There’s just something about her that I like.

Well, that’s all 16! I think I really like the cast so far. I’m really excited to see where this cast will go, and as long as there’s no vets coming in and ruining anything, I think I have high hopes for this season right now (which is risky to say, but I just have a good feeling :) )

#bb20 #first impressions #eh maybe i'll tag everybody later haha #also i too easily impressed as a person so don't @ me

[survivorreelsmagicwithin]

Episode 11- “we will see if anyone comes out of the saloon anytime soon”-Lily

I am literally so shook LOL, I don't know what just happened but...  Dan used his idol on me and I wish he would have stayed because comp queen... I am not.  I KNOW I am going to be the next to go if I don't win the next immunity challenge and I just don't know which of these fakes to put my trust in. I HONESTLY went back to Landen and Lily and intend to keep it that way because I don't know what kind of fuckery just happened with everyone else.   AND CHIPS IF YOU WROTE MY NAME DOWN AFTER WE PROMISED NOT TO WRITE EACH OTHERS NAMES....  jk LOL.  I went from like sobbing last week to laughing this week, I am a MESS. 

3 minutes later

TOUCHY SUBJECTS!! This is going to be my comp to win because I have a method with this one that NEVER fails me when I use it.  To do it I just have to be INSANELY honest and then just get into the head of everyone else.  I write everyone's name down that is still in the game and I figure out what each person would say for each question and then I tally it up!   LOOK at me being all cocky and confident about it, watch me lose now, LOL.

1 hour later

I really hope I win this challenge so I won't join Owen and Dan in the jury anytime soon.  This one is another one that I feel like Jules will do really good on, so there is that.  She, Landen and Lily are the ONLY ones that have talked to me after tribal.   Also did I mentioned I left the alliance chat I made with Landen and Lily then made a new one, LOL.  I promise I'm only this crazy when I play Survivor, I have no chill, I'm either dead and float to the end or I'm chaotic and jump from person to person and burn bridges and play BADLY like a crazy person.

when two idols get played and you accidentally send out a frenemy lmaaaaoo ily Dan

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uOcx0U-XVpA  

ok now on to the show

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1j3uV5Zc49fbFH4xLK-L0JQX82xsiA1dq/view?usp=sharing

dear diary, what the FUCK! i disassociate for one (1) day and everything goes bonkers.. all i can say is that i'm glad landen trusts me so much because whew.. what a messy man. but i love everything about him.. CFHGVJBKN no but for realsies this vote was CRAZY. but one of the biggest threats in this game.. at least to me just got out SOOO. i am thriving. i honestly think i'm genuinely in a really good position in this game because voting for ruthie last round secures my trust with so many people in this game.. aka autumn, lily AND while landen already trusts me so much <3 im even in more good graces with him by keeping in someone so close to him even though im still hmmm. on how close him and lily are. it's scary but.. i know he holds me dearly to him too so boom? UM! i don't know. working with jules and kevin is reassuring too.. chips and i are tight always.. the only people i don't talk to are joanna and ruthie but i don't think that will affect me in an matter. so. smiles.

HA!!! I may have had the most OTT confessionals ever last round but look who gets the last laugh?? LANDEN GETS THE LAST LAUGH! Because I was RIGHT. I knew that something was going on and something mysterious was being planned, I was utterly confused as to why this shit was happening around me, and I knew these people were off. I said They are PLAYING ME and why do I not know what's going on, there's something shady happening... And yes there was. I have to thank Kevin for making the dumbest move he could possibly make, which is to tell me and Lily. Sorry Kevin but you fucked me over twice and I'm not good with that, I'm not okay with his double dealing anymore! :) He was playing the middle and he got caught and If I want to make sure that Lily and myself continue to get through votes... That's the card I have to play. Last night I was working overtime as hard as possible to convince Chips and Autumn that they need to split the votes onto Ruthie and Dan, and to do that I was throwing Ruthie and Kevin under the bus. Oooops! Then they made it super easy by telling me the vote was on Lily which gave me the ammunition to flip things on Ruthie. Kevin might think it was just for that round, but I'm so glad, because this vote finally put me in a position of a tiny bit of power, I think. I'm still not like, RUNNING things, but I got an alliance of 5 and I think we really do have motivation to stick together, at least for now, and take Kevin and Ruthie OUT of this game. If I can just do that, that sets me up really well for the final stages of this game. I have to take out the double agents, get rid of the double dealing, set up this vote CLEAR, because I don't have an idol for protection anymore. Speaking of which... Yes I guess you could consider that a waste, but it wasn't like Lily got NO votes. I knew she would be getting 2 for sure, and I only knew for sure that Dan was getting 1. I was not going to risk Lily's life on the fluke possibility that there would be 2 or 3 Dan votes or that people would revote out Dan over Lily. No way. Lily is not only a huge shield for me in this game because of her social game, connections, and strategic prowess (she'd be more threatening than me in any FTC i think which makes people want to go for her instead of me), but she's someone who's ALWAYS going to have my back in this game. That is extremely powerful, I don't know if most people realize how powerful it is for someone to always have your back and be giving you information, that kind of relationship is necessary in Survivor and it always gives a type of power that could help me go on to win this game. And honestly, the more people think I'm playing FOR lily and that they shouldn't respect my game bc a lot of it is in the name of helping her and i BOTH get through things, they're wrong, but the better they think that bc that just helps make me seem a little less threatening and a little more like the ideal Buddy to take into Final Tribal Council! Where I hopefully have the story and the moves to wreck any opponent sans Autumn, Jules, Kevin, maaaaybe juls who all obviously cannot be allowed to make it there. :P I feel MUCH better about my spot in the game now. MARSHMALLOW MOVES BABY

INCH RESTING that only Landen, Lily and Jules have talked to me one on one since last night.  They are the ones that I was most wary of last round but I rely a lot on the of the social aspect of this game and if these people are too scared to talk to me after voting for me I'm not going to feel bad if I vote for them, haha.   I really have a good feeling about this challenge and I am once again praying to the survivor gods that I manage to pull out a win.  I NEED this.

I hate touchy subjects, I have never won it. Also last vote was a mess, two idols were played and that is insane. I was added really late to this new alliance chat and like okay cool, but I know I'm on the bottom of that alliance and they are trying to tell me that kevin is a snake but i trust kevin and like i can't go against that alliance because they are majority and tbh i'm not 100% sure who is all IN that alliance, they just told me to vote ruthie and i did and then she didn't even go home. i have voted for ruthie twice now and ruthie has gone home zero times, i'm worried she is going to come for me, but i've just been trying to vote with majority my guys

The anxiety I feel before immunity results is UNREAL in this game, haha. I have a really strong feeling that I won this one... and I am usually wrong when I start thinking that but I just HOPE that I did, I need this to squeak by.   I'm not really sure what I am going to do going forward, I feel like if I win this round I can either a) Cause a lot of ruckus and spill everyones tea when they finally decide to talk game with me or b) Have complete loyalty to Landen and Lily and just do whatever the heck they want to do to show that I AM loyal. I swear, every time I see I have a new Skype notification I refresh the blog to see if it is the results... and no luck.  Yet. Okay the people in the Atomic VL really need to stop so I will stop getting notifications, LOL. HARDLY ANYONE talks in this game right before results so I just have to deal with my anxiety over the results right here in my confessional. I am also searching and I'm mad at myself for remembering to search so late bc I doubt there will be time for me to look right before tribal tomorrow. I think?? That I might be onto something.  At the three broomsticks you can ask for drinks but there was an option to get a room and I'm HOPING that if I do that I will get one of those passes where I get to skedaddle before tribal.  I mean, it makes sense to me but it is probably going to be NOTHING. And it was nothing and I also DID NOT win immunity, grrr.  LOL.  I was actually way off and I can't wait to see what everyone said for everything. OKAY at least I got the one about me being the biggest liar right.

I'm not sure if i'm making moves or if my seeds are planting... but autumn has more social ties in this game than i do right now... and landen is playing a fantastic game from what i can tell. that's dangerous to keep around. i think he has a real shot at winning. and i don't want to be a goat. but every time i have had an agenda i have fought for it, just since merge hit, everyone who has been targeted i didn't care if they went. no agenda, no feisty joanna. but i'm creating an agenda... and i think landen might be my target... sorry b, just i want me to win this thing more than i want you to but... i also think that kevin is doing wonderfully. if i have any chance at this thing, which maybe i don't, landen and kevin both need to go.

I am fine with every touchy subjects answer I got... for the MOST part. Wouldn't bring home to your family? That's fine, I'm loud, aggressive, in your face with my opinions, boldly passionate, etc etc. They had to choose someone and I totally understand why they would pick me for that. Thinks he's running the game, I mean, I think it's obvious I DON'T think that, by how paranoid and messy I was scrambling the last couple votes, but I also know I come off as very pretentious and arrogant with having information, and have been on the right side of every vote, so I understand that people would put that about me. Loudest, DUH! Host favorite and juiciest confessionals I DEFINITELY don't agree with lol, I can be very boring and rambly, and I know yall dont like me TOO much. But Biggest villain... BIGGEST VILLAIN?!?! ARE YOU FOR REAL? ARE YOU FOR REAL, GIRL, ARE WE FOR REAL?? SOMEONE LIED TO HER SEVERAL TIMES. WHERE was the villainous behavior. WHERE WAS IT?!?!? I am one of the ONLY people in this game who has sold almost NOBODY out and who has almost NEVER lied. I sold ONE person out, and that was Ruthie. Who, might I remind you, BETRAYED HUFFLEPUFF before I did that, and NEVER established a 1-on-1 alliance with me, EVER, or even a smaller alliance with me. So it was hardly even a betrayal, especially as I was fighting to SURVIVE sdkfdskf. I played an IDOL for my closest ally, I spiraled as hard as possible to change the votes for every ally who was in serious danger, and I consistently did everything I can to do the right thing in this game instead of being a cutthroat mastermind like SOME PEOPLE (Jules, Kevin, im looking at you assholes!) AND SOMEHOW IM THE VILLAIN!??! I just... LOL. Girl where? Where am I the villain of the season? I'm definitely no OTTP hero, that's Lily, but as her designated sidekick I should at least be MORM! I mean, come on! As far as Kevin winning immunity and a bunch of other good superlatives, sigh. It's very questionable and makes me sketched the hell out. I wanna push on Jules but I feel like I'm gonna have to just push on Ruthie again, and I'm pretty sure that now that I'm without the idol I'll be going home bc of the stunt I pulled last time, soooo... Yeeeah.  That's that. I'll definitely push what I can tmrw tho, but for the most part I'm just gonna focus on school and my new cat collecting game, the game has been rly cute though so far and hopefully I find some way to stay.

look at me... number crunching like i can do math

I'm pretty sure that if Dan knew I just told Landen and Lily about the power he sent me- the anonymous note thing- he would break into hogwarts to yell at me.  I told them merely to establish a trust with them again because staying tight with them may be my only shot to actually make it to the end.

I'm so furious Kevin won immunity, because I had the perfect shot to go for him. I'm so angry. I'm so UPSET. I'm like.... WHEW i'm mad. It's so exhausting feeling like you're on the bottom every, single, round, no matter what happens, no matter how much you do to prove your loyalty and try to find an in with people, all it does is continually push you down even worse. I get ignored all day then I get called pushy and paranoid for asking why it's happening and trying to come up with a plan, then to make it worse I get labelled as "Villain of the Season". Like.... wtf? I guess I'm a villain for daring to try and survive and protect Lily, that makes me soooo evil and such a big bad, I guess I'm a villain for selling out Ruthie who never ever made an alliance with me and turned on me first, I guess I'm a villain for turning on Kevin after he consistently lies to me all day and plays the middle just to put me on the bottom, like, that's not a real ally. A real ally does whatever they can to do what is in the best interest of themselves AND their ally. They consider what's good for eachother. Kevin and others have proven to me at basically every single turn that they just consider me an extra vote, and, let's make this clear, an extra vote they don't even like. They use me because they know I'm a loyal player, and when they backstab me they get angry that I retaliate and do what I can to further my own position. It's just like extremely mind boggling and these are the type of mind games that wear me out so much because this game just psychologically is like brutal. It wears me down a lot and I'm just trying to keep a clear head about all this and find some way to stay afloat in the game and keep bearing a smile but it's honestly really really hard and at this point I don't know how much energy I have left to keep giving every tribal 150% at the last 30 minutes just to barely survive. Especially without an idol, like i'm just.. sigh. It's a lot but I'm going to keep giving it everything i have, because if there's one thing I don't know how to do, it's give up or lay down, even when all signs point to just settling and being quiet. It's not in my blood and I gotta play this game like me even if it makes me lose. A win is not worth compromising myself for, I'll never feel good about a victory that I feel like I abandoned myself to earn. 

And here we are at a stand still again. I feel like I’m in one of those old westerns but I’m out there with my gun in my holster ready to go and everybody else is at the saloon. Tumbleweeds go by and I’m like hello? Anybody there? Anyway... Landen is losing it. I’m here trying to keep hope and keeping my fingers crossed that my chills vibes get through on this holiday. So the past two tribals, despite being some of the most stressful of my whole life, have gone my way somehow. And I don’t think I’m appearing as too big of a threat at this point but what am I kidding I got votes last time. I have two alliances going which is more than I usually have. I continue to have the desire to stay hufflepuff strong despite voting for ruthie on the last vote. I also have an alliance with landen, Joanna, autumn, and chips. It’s an interesting group to say the least and I can’t say I fully trust the group. Autumn came forward as voting for dan at the last one and while I appreciate the honesty it does continue to make me weary of Autumn. I also think Dan was the one to start a vote on me and he may have been getting some traction on it but it fizzled. I hope that someone else doesn’t start to catch on to how suave I am and vote me out. I’d like to at least make it to my lucky 7 spot at this point!   This vote I think the best outcome would be Jules going. I have the least amount of strategic conversation with her so that would be ideal at this point. If it’s ruthie...I don’t want to vote her but I can’t risk getting myself voted out defending her. Shout out to you Ruthie. Best of luck. And we will see if anyone comes out of the saloon anytime soon...

can't believe the entire old hufflepuff tribe (minus Max) is back in an alliance together again.  I can't trust any of them as far as I can throw them but I love it. In other news, someone started a rumor that Chips told me to vote for Jules?? and he DID NOT.  But he is also not talking to me right now anymore.  I don't want to vote Jules, I am NOT voting Jules.  Jules also said she is not voting me but idk that I can trust it or not.  NO ONE is talking game right now besides me, Kevin, Lily and Landen.  Chips was talking to me earlier and so were Juls and Jules but none of them really knew a name and this is just a MESS.   I'm just trying not to get into any drama because I'm already branded as the biggest liar on the tribe when there are some people around here that have lied A LOT more than I have!! US TALKING GAME AND LILY RANDOMLY POPPING IN AFTER BEING MIA FOR AWHILE IN WITH- HAHAHAHAH okay edited, I cannot say what she said but I AM DEAD.. it includes the party emoji. I AM DEAD LOL, oh my god. I can't stop laughing. ANYWAY. So, Autumn says that the vote was Jules and now it is Chips??  SO BOTH SIDES ARE VOTING THE SAME? I'm so shook right now but this is good news!  I feel bad because Chips and I DID have a really good conversation today but if he was the one that just stirred all this shit up he needs to go.  I need a moment of peace! 

well. people be lyin to me. so. anyways. im tired. THESE PPL BE DOIN!!!!! THE MOST!!!!

i’m betraying the alliance i came into merge with while trying to keep it together. how does one convince someone to vote with them while pretending they don’t know anything? 

TOO MUCH INFO TOO LITTLE TIME ILL DO ANOTHER ONE AFTER TRIBAL

Tribal has been wild this round. Kevin won the challenge so he's immune. The new alliance I'm in wants to vote Jules because they are a powerhouse in all three categories - social, strategic, and challenges. Anyway, I told Jules I would tell them if I ever heard their name. I wanted to stick to that so I told them. I guess that was a mistake because they asked who from and I was already told they were working closely with Kevin so I just said Kevin. And then really shook them and I think they were shocked because Kevin is their final 2 (most likely) - anyway I didn't know what to say when they asked "From him?" because he never talks game with me. EVER. Luckily I got busy with life so I didn't have to respond... when I get back to my computer though apparently Jules has started asking why their name is being said to Landen and Lily and a conversation that I have had with Ruthie makes them suspicious that I am also telling Ruthie so the "loose lips sink ships" comes into play. Anyway, I definitely didn't actually say anything to Ruthie at all so I put that fire out. Then I try to tiptoe around the fact that I told Jules and Landen comes to the conclusion that Ruthie MUST be close with them if Jules knows because Juls might have talked to Ruthie about the vote. In the meantime our alliance comes up with a plan to throw me under the bus to Jules as well as for me to do the opposite to either Ruthie or Landen. For fear of an idol. All this drama happens and then I have to tell Jules that Kevin didn't say it and that someone else told me that Kevin had said it and they ask who... and then follow it up by telling me that Landen has been throwing me under the bus saying I'm lying and that they need to vote me. I guess our plan has started. I let Jules know that it was Landen who wanted to vote them. And then Jules comes to the conclusion that Landen is the common factor in these stories and asks if I want to vote for him. I agree because he has been trying to have me murdered and voted out all while at the same time planning to vote for Jules anyway. This plan is so eccentric and weird and nothing like I have ever done on Survivor. I felt so bad when I didn't tell Jules that they were being targeted for the vote but did not want to open this can of worms. Kind of hoping I get blindsided so I don't have to live with the guilt. But then also sort of hoping it works just because it is such a cool and fun thing we have done.

[smrwine]

Just to refresh your memory, here’s a snippet from my famous/non famous au that I’ve seemingly abandoned. Harry is a big time movie star and Louis works on set as costume standby. Louis is the only person on earth that can’t stand Harry and Harry wants to change that. I promise I’m still working on this and I’m sorry I can’t publish it before the end of summer like I originally said, but I’ll do my best to make it worth the wait. Hope you enjoy!

In front of the camera is where Harry thrives.

Well rehearsed lines flow from his mouth effortlessly, charisma exudes brightly from every facial expression, strides and animated movements are carefully planned and well executed. There wasn't a feeling quite like getting into character for the first time. Harry was nervous yet relaxed. Was slightly insecure in front of the new crew yet knew this set was exactly where he was meant to be.

Set lights usually served to drown out the examining eyes and critical whispers, but something about Louis being in the room dulled their intensity, and did little to keep Harry’s eyes from flickering over to his. The first few takes, before Louis showed up, went without a hitch. Harry nailed his lines and even improvised when needed. He knew he gave the production a solid first impression, but as soon as action was called, and Louis caught his eye, Harry began to stumble, and felt himself heat up under the collar of his shirt. Ultimately, he cocked up his entire performance.

“Alright, let's stop right there for a minute.” James, the director, hollered as Harry flubbed yet another line. “Harry we’re going to come back to this, alright? Can someone fix his wardrobe please? His collar is going to drive me mad.”

The crew seemed to disperse as Louis approached him with a raised brow and an all too attractive smirk on his lips. There was no one else in the room to Harry. No one other than Louis to witness the stutter in his breathing as his delicate hands traveled up his chest.

“You know, for everything we went through to get you into this role, you're sort of doing a shit job in return.” Louis giggled under his breath as he adjusted the collar of Harry’s shirt gently. “Can't say I’m too impressed, Harry.”

Fuck, his smile was so pretty. His spirits seemed to be in a higher place than they were this morning. Frown and lack of warmth for Harry completely replaced by fluttering lashes and a shimmering glow in the apples of his cheeks. He almost seemed...playful. Maybe even a bit cheeky. As if seeing Harry fumble through his performance brought him some weird sense of joy. Harry decided not to question it. Figured it's best to bask and indulge in this newer side of Louis.

“Oh yeah?” Harry questioned as his right dimple carved its way into his cheek. “S’that what it'll take to get myself off your shit list? You want me to impress you, babe?”

“M’not so easily amused,” he sneakily ran a hand through the back of Harry’s freshly trimmed hair and scratched lightly against his scalp. Fuck. Was this actually happening? Was anyone around them actually seeing this too? A touchy-feely, softer, Louis? “But you're welcome to try sometime. Show me why this role was given to you and all.”

“Oh, I'll show you something that was given to me.” Harry’s voice dropped low in tone as he further crowded Louis’ space.

“That one wasn't even clever.” Louis tugged on the hairs at the back of Harry’s neck. “You're far more charming when your mouth is kept shut.”

“Is this your way of flirting with me?” Harry asked through hooded eyes and a twitch of his cock. “Cos I’m kind of into it if I'm honest.”

“You couldn't land me even if I did fancy my colleagues.” Louis’ eyes shined underneath the set lights with mischief and mirth. Harry wanted to press a kiss in the space between them. “You're just easily riled up, and you deserve a bit a ribbing, don't you think? S’only fair after everything you've done to me.”

“I'll take it all on the chin so long as you're on speaking terms with me.”

“God, you're pathetic.” Louis shook his head with a smirk.

“And yet, you're still standing here.”

Harry chanced a step forward, and to his surprise, was met with a curl of Louis’ lips. He was unpredictable and fickle, and it only served to draw Harry in further.

“It’s my job,” he spoke through tantalizing pink lips, “Someone has to keep you looking fit.”

“I think I do just fine on my own, sweetheart.” Harry shot a wink and inwardly celebrated at the tinge of Louis’ cheeks. “Wouldn't you agree?”

“Well, besides your head being about as big as your ego—”

Harry cut him off with a pinch of the hip and his lip half bitten. Louis’ laughter was alluring, colourful, and contagious, but Harry didn't want to let his honk of a laugh slip out just yet. He was content to watch Louis squirm, however. It felt nice. Felt something close to comfortable. Such a lovely contrast to the morning they had together.

Speaking of, he should probably apologize for that.

“Hey, um, about this morning—”

“Alright! Back to your positions everyone.” James’ voice cut through every corner of the set, sending everyone scattering back to their places.

Harry didn't have a moment to spare before Louis was tiptoeing his way back behind the cameras. Traces of previous warmth gone from his face and smile lines set back into to a frown. Back to business for him. Back to being colleagues that couldn't bloody stand each other.

Harry shoved a hand through his quiffed hair, and shook himself from his Louis induced haze. But not for long. Rolling! Rolling! was shouted through the madness as Harry locked eyes with his over the cameras and through the shadows of the set lights. The inner performer rumbled from within him and had a sudden urge to be let free. To show Louis just what he was capable of and prove to him that all of his hard work was worthwhile.

It was quite strange how Louis’ presence alone was enough motivation for Harry to put out the best version of himself. Made him want to do better, to be better, without even really knowing Louis at all. It was an unfamiliar feeling, but Harry wouldn't mind getting used to it.

Action!

#snippets #cwo #famous/non famous #this is not beta'd or read over so please bear with me

[shifuaang]

Thoughts on Season 5 of Orphan Black

Now that I’ve had a chance to watch season 5 and reflect on it, I wanted to share my thoughts. I’m still in mourning the loss of such a brilliant show, but I am also so happy that I got to share such an amazing viewing experience with the rest of the Clone Club. 

Thoughts under the cut! Sectioned by things I loved, things I didn’t like, and overall thoughts.

Things I loved: 

The happy ending. God, I am so tired of shows that don’t allow characters to survive and thrive at the end of their on-screen arcs. Game of Thrones started this whole ‘no one is safe’ trend, and I absolutely loathe it. There needs to be some semblance of hope at the end of a series, and OB gave us that and much more without compromising the integrity of the show. All of the characters still held trauma and the weight of responsibilities, but after fighting tooth and nail for their freedom for five seasons, they deserved happiness. (Also want to praise the show for actually highlighting PTSD and trauma and not glossing over it.)

The elimination of the Castor Clones. Honestly, good riddance. The only one I feel deserved better was Ira, but at least he made a difference in the end and did what he could to help the Ledas. Mark was a traitorous, selfish bastard, and although his death scene was sad, I can’t say I was upset to see him go.

Rachel’s arc. I loved everything about this. I loved seeing her backstory and watching her be truly vulnerable for the first time. The episode that revolved around her was one of the best of the season. Her unwillingness to participate in the organization that ruined her life and seeing herself in Kira was a beautiful turn for the character. 

The exposure of DYAD. This was one of the most powerful moments in the entire series. Seeing Cosima break down into tears of relief made me cry as well. It was everything they had been working towards and the impact of this revelation was colossal. 

The sisterhood and their unwavering love for each other. Including Mrs. S. The flashbacks with Sarah giving birth alongside Helena’s scene moved me to tears. I loved that womanhood was at the center of this season and that motherhood, while not a choice for everyone (Cosmia!), was portrayed in such a realistic, flesh and blood, pain and relief, light. The joy that radiated from Sarah and Helena during that scene blew me away; Tatiana is amazing. The scene in the final episode with them gathered around the campfire was also fantastic - these women with completely different backgrounds and personalities all came together because of a shared experience and were learning to heal together.

A few other notes. Sarah’s struggle with connection. Kira finally having her own agency and making her own decisions. Felix’s art show. Alison’s episode. ALISON MOTHAFUCKIN’ HENDRIX CONFRONTING RACHEL WITH LEEKI’S HEAD. Mrs. S taking down Ferdinand. Scott and Art being a part of the family. Donnie and Alison. Tatiana speaking different languages. Helena’s memoirs. A galaxy of women. 

Things I didn’t like: 

Krystal as comic relief. I know much of her character revolves around comedy, but it felt really cheap to only put her in one episode for laughs with the creators knowing how much us fans love her. I wanted to see her really become apart of the sisterhood, even if it wasn’t in an unconventional way. I know I’m a little biased as I’m a Krystal/Scott shipper, but I would have liked to see a relationship between them instead of bringing in a random friend to be his half-assed loved interest.

The way MK died. This was extremely upsetting. The rapey vibes and having her murdered in such a callous way on screen was too much. I understand she didn’t have much time to live and that she wanted to be a decoy to help her sisters, but her demise did not have to be nearly as graphic. This is a show that is meant to uplift and empower women, and MK’s death was a complete 180 from these ideals.

Gracie dying. GRACIE DIDN’T NEED TO DIE. Once again, it felt very cheap to bring her back for two episodes only to kill her. She was a part of Helena’s family and truly loved Helena. How cool would it have been to see Gracie defy Mark to do the right thing and live? A lot of people complained about Mrs. S’s death, but I felt it was justifiable and impactful. Gracie’s death was cruel and served no purpose in the long run.

Mutant experiment dude. I don’t even remember his name because that’s how much he made an impression on me. We didn’t need another villain. As much as I love OB, I have to admit that it doesn’t do a very good job in working with what it has instead of adding a million other pieces to the puzzle that don’t fit very well. Virginia, Susan, and PT could have been tied together in a different way or mutant experiment dude could have died off-screen prior to the events of the series. Sometimes I felt like OB was trying to be too sci-fi and add elements that fit the genre, but it ended up just cheapening the experience for me. 

PT Westmoreland was too dramatic. There are a lot of great, subtle villains in OB (Rachel, Susan, Helena in the first season, even Virginia at times), but PT was a caricature. His acting felt super melodramatic in a cast of actors who are nuanced and very good at controlling expression and emotion. This was one of the problems I had with the majority of the Castor clones - Ari Millen felt like he was overcompensating to try and keep with Tatiana’s prowess, and it happened again this season with Stephen McHattie.

Cosima is more than her relationship with Delphine. I know I might get shit for this, but I’m just going to say it anyway. I was never sold on the Cophine relationship, and I think that was because much of Cosmia’s personality revolved around loving Delphine. All of the other integral clones got flashbacks into their pasts that revealed more about their personalities and motives, and Cosima just got a bonus scene with Delphine from season one. I really did enjoy the defy them speech, but I wanted more. Cosima deserved more. 

A few other notes. Not enough Alison; she’s always in the background. Alison’s wackadoodle new haircut - at least buy a better wig. Not enough Felix. They were on the island waaay too long; the first half of the season dragged because of it, and the second half was significantly better. 

Overall Thoughts

I am really happy with the way OB went out. I am a particularly critical viewer when it comes to any show, and oftentimes I will drop a show if it’s headed in a direction I don’t like or if characterization is contrived. While I haven’t loved every decision the writers have made with OB, I still enjoyed the journey from start to finish. It is truly refreshing to watch something where women are at the center and are not burdened by stereotypes or tropes. Thank you, Tatiana, for giving me so many characters to love, including ones I never dreamt I would have an affinity for. 

#ob #Orphan Black #orphan black meta #orphan black review #obedit #review

[moononastring]

*eminem’s voice* guess who’s back, back again

HELLO M’LADY

so first things first: the horrible test i had to take was this Sunday, and it was gruesome and excruciating as I thought it would be. (Studying at home with an unstable family during a pandemic does that to oneself i guess)

Today i restarted QOS and fuck me, i rlly dislike manon again. is this who i am now??? A person attached to morals in fiction? I hate to see it. I cannot ignore the fact that she kills for ‘amusement’, or the cannibalism thing. Funny how my ‘what bother me’ thermometer abides by no laws, it just.... ruins my chances to enjoy characters. ew.

I was debating not coming back until i read the whole aedion rescue (which I didn’t yet) but i kinda wanted to talk about this i guess

I think the reason why i cling to Chaol sm is because he is just like every literary boy i feel in love with since i started reading for pleasure when i was like... 9? So, percy jackson, harry potter, hiccup (from How to Train Your Dragon.... those books basically raised me) and all these other characters that were all about doing the right thing the right way (As it should be in stories made for kids), and honor and being valiant and brave. (That is also why i think that for me the whole The Most Powerful People To Ever Exist feels rlly forced and unnecessary and... Not That Cool(?)(why can’t i express myself properly ugh) bc i grew up loving all these characters that were not The Best but gave their best, nonetheless, and succeeded even when all odds were agains them... anyway)

So i guess what I’m explaining is that i still hold on to some of that? Even though there are a lot of morally grey characters I love (do not let me get started in all of my Very Dubious Fanfiction Taste) But when it comes to books I really love to see these really good people being... good and enjoying things and winning and thriving because of it. I guess it does kinda hurt when i see them getting forgotten/benched by fandom for not being ‘interesting’ :(. Anyway. Moving on.

But I do love to see characters who would do anything it takes to protect the people you love, (like Aelin and Rhys (even though it bothers me Very Much that he’s a little bit too idolized for someone who is the the Much Much Much Darker Side of Morally Grey)). It’s such a compelling concept for me. And I guess that’s why i keep reading these books that kind of hurt. Also because.... smut is kinda good, sarah has her moments I won’t deny it!!!

BUT BUT BUT YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT WAS SO REFRESHING?????? SEEING MISS AELIN REALIZING SHE WAS A BITCH FOR THE WAY SHE TREATED OTHE WOMEN IN THE PAST. It felt so good to read it bc I remember just wanting to bash her head to a wall for how she viewed/treated Kaltain. Also Lysandra Is So Hot I LOVE HER. Ngl i was always living for every antagonistic woman that has ever crossed paths with aelin (Maybe not Ansel that much bc i was really gutted with the whole ‘she killed Mikhail( is this how i write it) and all those other assassins’ moment).

anyway, the way chaol and aelin treat each other makes me sad. rlly wanted them to be friends. Have I talked about how much i do not like Nesryn and Chaol together? That’s kinda nasty. I rlly hope my boy gets something good (i know for a fact he won’t end up with dorian (and I wouldn’t want it to be canon) but.... ngl that’d be cute as shit, and powerful, and just wholesome and heart warming all over)

OMG AND I WANTED TO SAY that i rlly loved elucienweek!!!?! Even wrote for it!!!!!! And just... tysm for doing god’s work here on our side of tumblr. Lyyyyyyyyyyy 🧃

Ps: why did i overshare so much???? Lol

🧃'nonnie!!!!! I am terrible at remembering that I had to answer asks haha. I saw this one and your other one about the shipping so FORGIVE ME!!

I'm sorry you had a busy week/weekend but glad it's over with and you're back to reading and sharing with me!!

For Manon...as I said last time, I think you will see her in a different light by the end of QOS and esp in EOS HAHA.

Your reasoning for loving Chaol is so 🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺 and I'm SO excited for you to get to Tower of Dawn my dude!!!! You're going to thriveeeeeeeeee. Your point about Nesyrn and Chaol really made me laugh because yeah, I didn't feel it either bUT YOU WILL SEE. TOWER OF DAWN BABYYYYYY.

Oh Aelin, I really loved the moment where Aelin realized that if she had taken a moment with Kaltain like she did with Lys, maybe it would've been different. I do forgive her though, she was an idiot and at least she knows it haha. Lysandra is a queen and the mvp! I love her so much and would let her murder me if she wanted to <3 I'm really really happy to see her and Aelin start something together in QOS.

I'm almost done with EOS but taking my time because that queen = stress to the max haha.

Thank you for enjoying and participating in Elucien Week bby!!! I'm glad people seemed to have fun with it hehehe. I APPRECIATE YOU <3

#🧃'nonnie #asks #'nonnie

[thistleandthorn-rpg]

Welcome back D with your character, Alastair Clarington! Please check out our page here to refresh things and send us his blog within 48 hours! Welcome Back!

OOC INFORMATION:

Name/Alias: D Preferred pronoun: She/Her Age: 30+ Timezone/Country: CST RP Experience: 3+ years Activity Level: 6-7

IC INFORMATION:

Name: Alastair Clarington Designation: Dominant Age: 21 Faceclaim: Hunter Parrish Birthday: June 4th Orientation: Pansexual Kinks: Age Play, Orgasm Control, Bondage, TPE, Impact Play Anti-Kinks: Scarring, Bathroom Play, Needles, Blood Play, Isolation, Masks

BIO:

Alastair Clarington was meant to be so many things in his father’s eyes, but the one he earned was the one the old man hadn’t prepared for - a disappointment. He was never the smartest or brightest in school, no matter how he was pushed to study and learn. He couldn’t throw a ball or run the fastest, and at best, he could be referred to as mediocre. All through his childhood, Alastair tried to follow his father’s command, wanting to obey and be the child he was trained to be. When Alastair was thirteen, he failed his first exam, and he never forgot the harsh response he received from his father. It was the starting point to many things in his life, and from that point, he no longer found the urge to be what his father wanted. He saw the man differently and Alastair now knew it wasn’t about winning or losing, but he could never live up to the expectations laid out for him and his siblings.

Alastair ran away that night, and found himself deep in the local park, where all the “bad” kids hung out at night. Alastair had never seen drugs up close, let alone tried to drink or even attempted anything sexual. But he did all three that night, staying out until the sun rose, knowing full well the wrath he’d receive back at his home. He went to school without showering, still wearing his dirty clothes and smelling of the odor of marijuana. He then received his worst punishment yet upon his return home, but it didn’t sway him from his newfound outlook on life. He wasn’t the same boy from a few days before, and he determined that he didn’t want to be. It didn’t matter what the old man did to him, he refused to conform to the rules set out. He continued to test him, no matter where they lived, or who they met, he found the same groups of people and explored and experimented in the ways he found pleasurable.

Despite the relief of staying in Texas during his high school years, Alastair drifted further and further from his family and everything his father had tried to create. He stayed away from home at all hours he could get away with, and did enough schoolwork to pass his classes, nothing more. He convinced himself that he didn’t care about any of their opinions, though it was his siblings that he hated disappointing the most. They were trained so well by their father, and it killed him that he couldn’t fix the damage his father had done. He drank and smoked more, hiding behind all the stimulants he could, his feelings no longer important. They were all going to fail and he knew there wasn’t help elsewhere as only one could be the Dominant, and deep down he prayed it wasn’t him.

When he was nearly sixteen, Alastair discovered his first hope for the future when he got a job at a local auto shop. He’d had little interest in cars before then, but he learned that he understood the inner workings of engines far easier than math or science had ever been for him. It was the first time he’d found something he was good out and he began to thrive inside that shop, gaining all the knowledge he could from the owner, a submissive named Ben. The man and his Domme had a soft spot for Alastair, just as he did in return for Ben, and it was the first real friendship the boy had found. He continued to work throughout high school, saving all his money for parts and supplies, as he built himself his first car, easily named Sally. It wasn’t perfect, but it was completely his own, completely in his control.

After their high school graduation, Alastair drifted on his own, taking road trips and exploring the parts of the country he’d never had a chance to experience. He was supposed to report to school with his siblings but put it off as long as he could, working here and there, keeping in contact with only Ben. It was eventually the old man that convinced him to accept the designation he was going to receive at school, and helped him understand that he needed to take this step on his own. Ben had hope that Alastair would find the happiness that he had in his claim, and while he didn’t believe he would, Alastair gave it the chance he should. To his surprise, taking the Dominant mark his father had held for his children, and as the disappointment became the expectation, it gave him more hope than he knew how to deal with.

BIO QUESTIONS:

What is your biggest fear and why?

Shit. You all are starting to get quite personal, but sure. Uh… biggest fear would have to be donkeys. Yep, those dimwits stupid enough to make asses of themselves and not realize it. That’s what scares me. Definitely not my father. Nope. Not at all.

What 3 objects/places mean the most to you and why?

My smokes, because it gives me the sanity to deal with my family. My record collection, because it’s fucking brilliant. And the alley behind the shop, because that’s where I learned to be who I am now.

Who is the one person you’d most like to meet (dead or alive)?

John Lennon.

What is the one moment you would describe as your happiest/most excited?

When I’d earned enough to pay for my first car. It was my first real sense of freedom away from the shit-storm that is my life. No one can do shit about where I go, what I do, because there’s no rules in Sally. She’s simply mine.

#accepted

[alisonfloresus]

CREATING VALUE

CREATING VALUE AND ART OF LEADERSHIP, A PRESENTATION DELIVERED BY MR AYOTUNDE OKUNOWO DURING THE ANNUAL SYMPOSIUM OF AGSOBA CLUB OF FEDERAL POLYTECHNIC ILARO, OGUN STATE.

Today is indeed a remarkable day. I therefore count it as a great honour to be among you to share some thoughts together. I thank the executives of the club for putting up this kind of forum and for inviting me here . This is highly commendable and I salute your outstanding leadership! I also greet my audience with great humility. It takes few men to rule the world, and the few I believe, constitutes this audience.

In 1900, the world panels of engineers had a conference on how to build a device that could fly on air, and at the end of the symposium, it was unanimously agreed that no metal could fly as anything denser than the weight of air can not be suspended in the sky, therefore the first possibility of building an aircraft was washed away. Just three years after, mere bicycle repairers, people who weren’t skilled in physics or aeronautics engineering, Orville and Wilbur Wright, known as the Wright brothers constructed the first aircraft which flew on 15th December, 1903. If we are to talk about cars, Lamborghini cars remain one of the choicest and sleekest cars in history. This car was actually invented by an Agricultural scientist. Ferrucio Lamborghini was just dissatisfied with the clutch of his old Ferrari, rather than complain as we often do, he went into his laboratory and gave birth to the world famous and classic cars called Lamborghini.

As we have seen from the verdict of history, creating value is not a function of degrees, certificates, race, colour, creed, or tribe. Value is a measurable quantity which is created after the most rabid, radical, unusual and provoking thought line. In essence, anybody that wants to create value must not accept the status quo or be complacent with things around him. He must be a person who is ready to challenge and probe into normal things. He must have the courage to stand alone. The sufficiency to be abused as an abnormal person, and his ability not to go in the way of the crowd, because he that follows the crowd would not be followed by a crowd.

Like my book thirty things you must do before you are thirty, I want to give you five great ways to create Value. And the first one is that anybody that wants to create value must think without the box. What is the box? How do I know whether I think in d box? Thinking within the box is the pancea of letting your self think alone only in the acceptable standard way of behaving or limit once oneself only to the limits of the comfort zone or popular knowledge. Let’s test ourselves and know whether we are thinking without the box or outside the box. lets test ourselves and know whether we are thinking without the box or in the box. If you are in a race, and you overtake the person in the 2nd position, what position are you- if u say 1st, you are thinking inside the box Which is correct to say, the yolk of the egg is white or the yolk of eggs are white- if your answer still carries white, you are thinking inside the box. A man saw a snake crossing the road, and swerved to crush it with his tyres. All the street lights were off, as well as the car’s headlight. There were no other lights along the road. How did the man see the snake- if you are still thinking about a source of light, you are wrong, you are thinking inside the box A father and the son had a terrible accident, on getting to the hospital, the doctor exclaimed, “oh my son” who is the doctor? If you do not know that the doctor is the son’s mother, you are still thinking inside the box A farmer has five haystacks in one field, and four haystacks in another. How many haystack would he have if he combined them all in one field.- if you say nine, you are right inside the box.

Distinguished audience, anybody that wants to create value must improve his thought line and think without the box. The very first law of creating value is to think outside the box. The late business mogul Otunba Gadaffi of DMT mobile toilet saw money in the management of human excreta called shit, while other were covering their nose and looking sideways. What is the box in your life, it is your parent’s wealth, your beauty, your grades, or your religion? Don’t limit yourself. Explore the genius in you. Tap into your greatest resource. Don’t be cornered by anything. There’s a part of your yearning for expression. Don’t allow anything to pin you down. Think without it. Beautiful Nubia read Veterinary Medicine, how many who have known him as a veterinary doctor, or how many who have known Funke Akindele (Jennifer) as a lawyer, or Lagbaja as a mathematician.

Secondly, anybody that wants to create value must invest in himself. Abraham Lincoln said, “I will study and prepare, maybe one day my chance would come”. Opportunity dances to him who is already at the dance floor. Now is all that we have. Those would want to become champions do not need to carry weights; those who want to become champions should simply carry information. Everybody that thrives for create an impact must take the pain to develop himself. No pain, no gain. Go for seminars, read good books, be a part of a progressive association, dissociate yourself from time wasters. Unnecessary arguments about music and sport hardly take a man anywhere. Moreover, poor minds discuss people, average minds about events and great minds about ideas. Greek philosopher Sallust said ‘the renown that beauty and wealth confer is fleeting and frail, mental excellence is the splendid and lasting possession’ Take the necessary pain of development now. I recommend you read more than your peers because a man who wants to build a cage would lay a slab of wood, a man who wants to build a house would dig six feet down, while a man who wants to build a tower would dig many miles down. How robust and productive you want your life to be depends on how deep and wide you read as a person. A poem says ‘the height which great men reached and kept were not attained by sudden flight, but they while their companion slept were toiling upward through the night’. Don’t join the bandwagon of those who ping their lives away, they can’t buy a book but they can subscribe for BIS with N1500. What are you doing in facebook and face their book; they should not be carried away with the glitz and glamour, facebook is a fakebook. The world would never celebrate common men, the world only celebrates the uncommon men. Leave the majority to do what the majority desires, but be part of the minority that the majority would later celebrate.

Thirdly, anybody that wants to create Value Must have the spirit of persistence. Recent statistic shows that man can survive 40days Without Food, 4days Without Water, 4minutes Without Air, but only 4seconds Without Hope. That reminds me of the story of two popular drinks. In one, the foolish inventor, the man whose name was rubbed of history, took a drink in a black kettle and the formula for preparing it and sold it to a chemist known as Asa Candler for a peasant amount. The wise chemist took the leaflet from the foolish scientist and modified it till it become coca cola that you and I drink today. On the other hand, the inventor of the second drink was abused for his tasteless mixture, people complained that the drink was more of a drug, a sedative than refreshing, yet the unrelenting scientist tried again, and at the 7th mixture the drink became celebrated and accepted hence he named it 7up. While the first inventor sold a fortune due to lack of persistence, the other scientist maintained his fortune. The kindergarten poem says “good better best, I will never rest, until my good is better and my better best” only with persistence did the snail reach the ark that was the summation of Andres Lara in his book inspiring the sleeping giant within you. Nothing is ever done at once. The tallest building in the world starts brick after brick. Rome itself was not built in a day. Life, like bicycle is one step after another. It is the sun and the moon which keeps their tracks that lightens the world. A goldsmith as you know would hit the steel hundred of times before it splits into two. The road to success is lined with many tempting parking space, don’t park in one. Sir Winston Churchill of Britain said thus; never, never, never, never give in. So far you are faced in the right direction, it doesn’t matter the size of your step

Anybody that wants to create value must be humble; ‘My character is greater than my book’, so were we taught in Abeokuta Grammar School. What would limit a man, is grossly is character, that is why you must always put some checks and balances, always asking yourself, whether you are doing the right things. You must have heard the story of two job seekers who went for an interview. When they got to the venue, a short man, typical of a dwarf, mistakenly stepped on one of the guys. As if they had prepared for such an encounter, our bosom friends lambasted the man and called him all sorts of name. They only got to the interview room to learn that the dear man was the dear boss of the organization. Do not look condescending on anybody. Have sublime faith in your ideas, even if you have the highest purchasing power. Never be like the hen that has barely laid an egg but cackles as if it as laid an asteroid. You may never know who is who. Greet everybody you know, by name if possible. Benjamin Franklin advised “Be civil to all, acquainted to many, liberal to few and be friend to one”Never taste what you know you cannot eat. Desist in neither taking nor accepting bribe. Do not pay for marks in school, if you think you can bury your past, some of your friends know how well to use the shovel. Exposing your body would get you a man but that would not keep him. Tread the path of honour. Be time conscious in all you do. Somebody somewhere is watching you that you might know. If you do not have a good name, you have lost everything in life. Take care of your character.

Value is also created by running from energy reducers. If there is any relevant example I must also give here, that would take us to Sparta, in Greece. The story about the rise and fall of the Greek empire is a story that tells us, that we can be a man or woman of consistent value, only if we can be as disciplined as it warrants. In the days when Sparta embraced great disciplines they were the greatest warriors known on earth. History has it that they wore simple garment, ate cold meal and put their time to the discipline of the art and mind. They were on top of the world. But sooner or later, the citizens of Sparta started to keep harem of women, drinking wine and wearing fine robes. Their power no doubt began to grow less until the very mighty city of Sparta was overcome. The presence of sheer indiscipline robbed them of their hereditary values. He that wants to lead the orchestra must back the crowd

Finally, anybody That wants to create value must belive in God, As H.G Wells, rightly puts it ‘A man who is not religious begins at nowhere, and ends at nothing. God is the grand architect of the cosmic host. If you want to have a glorious end, take God seriously. He holds the key to every success. By strength shall no man prevail. Post Santa simpilicita “the world is spiritually entwisted” Be a man of no little religious standard, there is power in words. It is like a hammer which forges steel and shatters glass. Confess the right things, say I am great always like the famous Mohammed Alli. Sow words of prayer into your life. Hold your articles of faith and never let it go. Education without God is a waste of time. but when F.W Nietzsche experienced the spiritual toxicity of this world, he cried: O santa simplicita-this world is not spiritually simple.

My passionate listeners, I have taken much time to dwell upon how to create value because that’s where leadership starts from. Anybody that creates value is already a leader. Like I told the young man who came to me few days ago. The young man said sir, I want to become a public speaker can you teach me how to become one?, I told the young man I said “if you want to become a public speaker, go and do something worth hearing, that is go and create value and people would call you to come and speak in public”. The leadership in you is not expressed until people sees you as a person of value who can be trusted with elements of power.

I would consider the whole essence of this topic as not totally dealt with, if I do not pick some lines from the words of the English writer, novelist, poet and journalist; Rudyard Kipling, in his classic poem, If…, he wrote “If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, If you can talk with the crowd and keep your virtue, or walk with kings- nor lose the common touch, If all men count with you, but none too much, yours is the earth and everything that’s in it” Then would you be a man my son!

from JournalsLINE http://journalsline.com/2017/06/09/creating-value/ from Journals LINE https://journalsline.tumblr.com/post/161609821100

[alchemy-travels]

Israel : 25th December 2016 Part 1

We popped in the cab, headed to the Red Sea and rented a car. That took longer than ever but the ladies at the desk loved Steven and I. They thought I looked like George michael which is ironic to say the least. The bodacious Moroccan woman working the desk selling sass and taking credit cards to the left was madly in love with him. Her entire demeanor changed when she saw my face and we all had such a good laugh. Because I played the game, they upgraded our car for free. Christmas was underway and we had only one destination in mind: the Dead Sea. We drove four hours down the highway all the while being able to see the Jordanian/Israeli boarder. How different it’s two halves were. One western, one thriving in the past. One Jewish, the other Arabic. I'm in love with yin and yang. At this point our drive was a race against the sun. In December we were planning to swim in the sea and somehow not freeze, so we indeed needed the sun very badly. David Bowie blared through Stevens phone, then metric, then Gaga and Florence would eventually give us vision to the sea of death. At first it looked to have icebergs floating all throughout it. Then lines appear across the sea from Israel to Jordan, and soon we realized that would be the harvesting process of its glorious minerals. We decided to find a spot far from this near the resorts to avoid getting sucked into its’ mineral collection. We suffered a parking ticket in the process but we found our spot. And with that we played with the salts and the bouyancy of our bodies. Pictures could barely do the lowest point on planet earth the justice it deserves. So we floated on without worry of sharks. The small cuts on my knuckles would burn instantly when they touched the water. It was the same sensation of opening the door on a sub zero degree winter day. It was a necessary evil to enjoy the moment. It was absolutely the lowest point on our planet and I had no low feelings sinking in on me. It might be because the water just wouldn't let us sink. There was no lower to go than this point in my life but I had already started to climb high even before I met this point of earth and water. I was actually floating through life and it felt so good to just be in this low point and feel so high on the moment. And so the sun would set and we would be late for our Aurbnb check in with Rahel in Jerusalem. I drove through the night along those twisty desert roads. I was afraid a few time and Steven was afraid even more. After swimming in the Dead Sea, we would arrive in Jerusalem to some freezing ass weather. Rain, sleet, winds and very cold tempuratures. The parking meter was unbearable as we attempted to read the Hebrew sign and make it work. Eventually we gave up and took a picture of the sign for Rahel to read. In luck, we didn't have to pay until 8am. Rahel was ready to leave on this merry Christmas Eve, but she was heading to a candle lighting gathering of the Minorah. We had made. Her late but she was still a peach of a person. Only after she explained how her kosher kitchen was laid out did we get a chance to take a hot shower and melt the salt away. Seeing as it was indeed a holiday, Steven and I decided to go off into the city for an adventure of excellent dining, I'm not sure what the restaurant was called but it was spelt XX which I'm sure meant something in Hebrew. We brewed a feast on that night. Starters of Matze ball soup and I followed mine with meatballs while Steven had a rice dish. I washed it down with a glass of read and we would be on our way. There was something about this restaurant though. I'm not sure if it's because of how authentically Jewish it was, or if it was the company and conversation that made my heart warm but the fireplace in the corner sure did us justice in completing the ambiance of a beautiful Christmas meal. The next day we would spend tramping through the holiest place on earth. We went into the old town of Jerusalem. We saw the western wall, a place of prayer and a place of mourning. We went down underneath the wall to see its construction and its depth. So many small intricate hallways and rooms that would be set up for an underground society if there was ever anything to happen to the surface. We movies through the winding street ways past the stations of the cross, through mother Mary's birth place, and finally to the prison where jesuswas held period to being sent off to die. His post didn't seem very saintly, and both at the same moment Steve and I turned to one another because of the electrifying jolt of energy that Hit uslike a fuzzy lightning bolt. How strange that some people feel such unexplainable madness at historical sites that just consume the body with energy from gods and deities of the past. We would spend the rest of the day running through the old town of Jerusalem. Neither being super religious but both able to appreciate the immensity of the space with humbled steps. I found it funny that almost directly on the opposite side of the street was one of the richest shopping districts in the city. Yet inside the walls people would sell, bargain and buy at rates they felt acceptable for the grabs and meals. Tradition versus westernization at its finest. The colors of sandstone and dulled browns brought on by winter clouds would decorate the city streets as we embarked the hour long walk back to our free parking spot. Cars are awesome but cars are a pain. We interacted with the city streets along the way. Bulbous trees that were outlasted by the forest, rusted playgrounds next to graveyards. Orthodox Jews were the majority here. I'm not sure I'll ever be seeing that again in my life. It was refreshing to see harmony amongst the masses though. With so much religion floating around it's easy to find ruffled feathers. Second star to the right and straight on till…..Nazareth. Pronounced Nazarit in Israel. All was cool under our hood until we made it to the actual city. Then, we were invited in by a daunting maze of hills and secret passageways mistaken for streets. Our GPS was of no help whatsoever. Thank the lords I wasn't driving. With every command of our lady voiced GPS we grew more and more weary of the correct direction. Until finally, we encountered a hill so steep, you would simply roll down it if you wanted to stop and take in the views. Our car managed to get down it, and back up the other side thanks to Steven. But of course, the lady GPS was basically laughing at us as she recalculated her directive thoughts. We turned her off real quick to find ourselves trapped in a parking area for those living a top the hill. By the time Steven turned to look back and reverse, we were being watched. A man in traditional Jalaba garb, was blocking our only escape. So much for a quick getaway, batman. His curious eyes were darkened in the light of one lamp in his frontdoorway giving off the eerie sensation that only occurs when you know you're in the wrong place at the wrong time. We were all ready for a fight (not really) to the death when his wife stepped out and into the street as well. She smiled at our struggles and yelled up to her son, whom lived on the third floor of their complex. Speaking more English than his parents, the entire mood of the situation changed in two seconds. And in three seconds we were in their house, awaiting tea and sweets galore. Apparently this happens often. Travels try and use the GPS and twice a year, the family is blessed with new faces in their living room, often for a few hours of chat as we had. Dinner, sweets, tea, cigarettes were all shared with us as three generations of family piled into the living from from above in the complex. One daughter spoke the best English as well as Arabic Hebrew and Russian. What a powerhouse I must say. She was about to take her dentistry exams within a year and was happy we dropped by for some English practice. By far this was the grand example of human interconnection that I had ever experienced. For an entire family to welcome us in, take selfies and photos, feed us, he'll they would have clothed us if we were standing in front of them naked and bare. We might as well have been as we were lost, cold and alone in a country with no other contacts.i will forever find gratitude in them and hopefully will be able to return the favor someday to a lonely wanderlust er looking for their hostel for the evening. We chose not to stay long in Nazareth but Steven managed to get some mud and sand for his mother as she loves the story of mother Mary. But after that we were out of there quickly and off to the Sea of Galilee to attempt to walk on water. It didn't work but it had a lovely misty feel to it with Israeli flags flying high around the edges. Proud they are. A country of abused and misused rising from the ashes. Becoming one of the most defensive countries the world knows today. And so we drove. We drove into the afternoon and into Haifa, the city of hills. Built upon these hills was the Bahia temple gardens. Luscious layers of shrubbery and prayer sites. The youngest riling ion of the world with the most beautiful sense of natural composition. Youthfulness is what brings our present into the future. I wish the older generation of Americans had the audacity to understand this. They're selfish for the most part though. A generation of sociopaths raised by media that brought them to addiction and fear of the unknown. To them, curiousity killed the cat. To the youth curiousity is what brought the cat to our laps. Anyway, we spent the first hour of Haifa looking for wifi and waiting for our Airbnb host to get home and let us in. Just walking the city and shooting the shit. It began to rain and rain hard after we made our way to a few sites. This is the time when we look for food and relax before our parking meter is up. We found a deliciously petit spot with the gas heaters blaring to fend of the frosty winds. What annoyed us most is that everyone we had asked about restaurant recommendations, was just...unsure. They kept directing us to McDonald's. Luckily we passed the gem just in enough time to make it back before the parking meter went running out. By dark fall our host came home and was ready for us. She seemed to have a lot on her mind but still gave us tea and a spot of conversation. After Steven and her exchanged paintings and artwork, we spent the rest of the dark and dreary evening in our bedroom. Catching up with the world that wasn't in Haifa. We woke with an early start and took view of the gardens, managed to find the cutest human inclusive shakshuka spot along the base of the gardens. We followed this with a trip to mount Carmel. I know, it sounds like a hundred churches in the US but this is what Haifa is built on. Half of the mount is the city and the other side is fixed with hiking trails down into the valley. We drove and stopped at the topped. Walked for a bit and screamed into the distance in hopes to hear echos. It was thrilling. Steven made up a story about the haifens and another clan having a massive battle over a piece of metal that we found and how mount Carmelo's was truly just a burial ground for all of those fighting over the piece of metal that we were sitting on. We would drive on after this and make it to our final destination. Tel Aviv. This would be where Steven and I split up and the continuation of my journey, while he heads home. So we spent days trolling through the city. Smoking cigarettes with our host who me had one of the largest apartments in Tel Aviv. A block from the water the lawyer and the textile artist lived, chain smoking and smoking pot loving one another for the past 9 years. Steven and I thought she was just there for the money but most of the time we saw real love. He a chef and we his guests. We would wander out for felafel and adventure any chance we had. The shower was cold but the conversation was lively. I remember wandering with Steven to the bridge of the stars with all of our astrological signs mounted to the would banister. It was said that dreams would come true if you wished upon your sign. I'm still half waiting. We'd get lost in street markets and find more kenaffe to eat. It wasn't as good as it was in Jordan but it did us well. I almost couldn't finish it. It was sweet as the day! All that I wanted to do when we reached Tel Aviv was dance with Steven in the gayest club we could find. We were rudely awakened by the fact that the city didn't operate as Chicago does. It operated on weekend pop up parties and not real dance clubs. So we settled for conversation and a few beers for me. We weren't happy about it to say the least. The bar was quite interesting though. It was an open air bar that allowed for smoking at every table on multiple layers as if we were in a theatre in the round. I believe the bar was called Friends or something. Nobody wanted to make friends with other tables but pre-existing friends sure had a laugh around us. And so we'd drive the car 30 minutes north to drop it off. Steven still nervous of the scratches he made in Nazareth went and delivered it alone while I waited. It took us about and hour to walk down the coast of the Mediterranean Sea. Talking pictures and walking through sands. Watching consumers consume on the pier restaurants. It was like our goodbye walk before our goodbye dinner. After that I'd have to find a new Airbnb which I had and ended up not needing. Part two anyway. Steven and I shared one final romantic dinner over calzones and pizza. We pigged out and he bought the meal for me. Smiles exchanged and the slow dance styled walk back to the spot. We went to bed and went off to dream land until he woke me up at 3 am to say good bye. And just like that another close friend was here and gone. What's so strange about seeing Steven is that we are so similar. When he first arrived we were both like Farrell cats checking out a smell that was once familiar but our guard still high up to the sky. Being in the Middle East changed our relationship than the streets at home were we would scream and laugh and twirl around without a care in the world. Here we were a bit more reserved and withheld the passion we have for each other a bit. Man i can't wait to go dancing with him again. Until then.

[alchemy-travels]

Israel : 25th of December 2016 Part 1

We popped in the cab, headed to the Red Sea and rented a car. That took longer than ever but the ladies at the desk loved Steven and I. They thought I looked like George michael which is ironic to say the least. The bodacious Moroccan woman working the desk selling sass and taking credit cards to the left was madly in love with him. Her entire demeanor changed when she saw my face and we all had such a good laugh. Because I played the game, they upgraded our car for free. Christmas was underway and we had only one destination in mind: the Dead Sea. We drove four hours down the highway all the while being able to see the Jordanian/Israeli boarder. How different it’s two halves were. One western, one thriving in the past. One Jewish, the other Arabic. I'm in love with yin and yang. At this point our drive was a race against the sun. In December we were planning to swim in the sea and somehow not freeze, so we indeed needed the sun very badly. David Bowie blared through Stevens phone, then metric, then Gaga and Florence would eventually give us vision to the sea of death. At first it looked to have icebergs floating all throughout it. Then lines appear across the sea from Israel to Jordan, and soon we realized that would be the harvesting process of its glorious minerals. We decided to find a spot far from this near the resorts to avoid getting sucked into its’ mineral collection. We suffered a parking ticket in the process but we found our spot. And with that we played with the salts and the bouyancy of our bodies. Pictures could barely do the lowest point on planet earth the justice it deserves. So we floated on without worry of sharks. The small cuts on my knuckles would burn instantly when they touched the water. It was the same sensation of opening the door on a sub zero degree winter day. It was a necessary evil to enjoy the moment. It was absolutely the lowest point on our planet and I had no low feelings sinking in on me. It might be because the water just wouldn't let us sink. There was no lower to go than this point in my life but I had already started to climb high even before I met this point of earth and water. I was actually floating through life and it felt so good to just be in this low point and feel so high on the moment. And so the sun would set and we would be late for our Aurbnb check in with Rahel in Jerusalem. I drove through the night along those twisty desert roads. I was afraid a few time and Steven was afraid even more. After swimming in the Dead Sea, we would arrive in Jerusalem to some freezing ass weather. Rain, sleet, winds and very cold tempuratures. The parking meter was unbearable as we attempted to read the Hebrew sign and make it work. Eventually we gave up and took a picture of the sign for Rahel to read. In luck, we didn't have to pay until 8am. Rahel was ready to leave on this merry Christmas Eve, but she was heading to a candle lighting gathering of the Minorah. We had made. Her late but she was still a peach of a person. Only after she explained how her kosher kitchen was laid out did we get a chance to take a hot shower and melt the salt away. Seeing as it was indeed a holiday, Steven and I decided to go off into the city for an adventure of excellent dining, I'm not sure what the restaurant was called but it was spelt XX which I'm sure meant something in Hebrew. We brewed a feast on that night. Starters of Matze ball soup and I followed mine with meatballs while Steven had a rice dish. I washed it down with a glass of read and we would be on our way. There was something about this restaurant though. I'm not sure if it's because of how authentically Jewish it was, or if it was the company and conversation that made my heart warm but the fireplace in the corner sure did us justice in completing the ambiance of a beautiful Christmas meal. The next day we would spend tramping through the holiest place on earth. We went into the old town of Jerusalem. We saw the western wall, a place of prayer and a place of mourning. We went down underneath the wall to see its construction and its depth. So many small intricate hallways and rooms that would be set up for an underground society if there was ever anything to happen to the surface. We movies through the winding street ways past the stations of the cross, through mother Mary's birth place, and finally to the prison where jesuswas held period to being sent off to die. His post didn't seem very saintly, and both at the same moment Steve and I turned to one another because of the electrifying jolt of energy that Hit uslike a fuzzy lightning bolt. How strange that some people feel such unexplainable madness at historical sites that just consume the body with energy from gods and deities of the past. We would spend the rest of the day running through the old town of Jerusalem. Neither being super religious but both able to appreciate the immensity of the space with humbled steps. I found it funny that almost directly on the opposite side of the street was one of the richest shopping districts in the city. Yet inside the walls people would sell, bargain and buy at rates they felt acceptable for the grabs and meals. Tradition versus westernization at its finest. The colors of sandstone and dulled browns brought on by winter clouds would decorate the city streets as we embarked the hour long walk back to our free parking spot. Cars are awesome but cars are a pain. We interacted with the city streets along the way. Bulbous trees that were outlasted by the forest, rusted playgrounds next to graveyards. Orthodox Jews were the majority here. I'm not sure I'll ever be seeing that again in my life. It was refreshing to see harmony amongst the masses though. With so much religion floating around it's easy to find ruffled feathers. Second star to the right and straight on till…..Nazareth. Pronounced Nazarit in Israel. All was cool under our hood until we made it to the actual city. Then, we were invited in by a daunting maze of hills and secret passageways mistaken for streets. Our GPS was of no help whatsoever. Thank the lords I wasn't driving. With every command of our lady voiced GPS we grew more and more weary of the correct direction. Until finally, we encountered a hill so steep, you would simply roll down it if you wanted to stop and take in the views. Our car managed to get down it, and back up the other side thanks to Steven. But of course, the lady GPS was basically laughing at us as she recalculated her directive thoughts. We turned her off real quick to find ourselves trapped in a parking area for those living a top the hill. By the time Steven turned to look back and reverse, we were being watched. A man in traditional Jalaba garb, was blocking our only escape. So much for a quick getaway, batman. His curious eyes were darkened in the light of one lamp in his frontdoorway giving off the eerie sensation that only occurs when you know you're in the wrong place at the wrong time. We were all ready for a fight (not really) to the death when his wife stepped out and into the street as well. She smiled at our struggles and yelled up to her son, whom lived on the third floor of their complex. Speaking more English than his parents, the entire mood of the situation changed in two seconds. And in three seconds we were in their house, awaiting tea and sweets galore. Apparently this happens often. Travels try and use the GPS and twice a year, the family is blessed with new faces in their living room, often for a few hours of chat as we had. Dinner, sweets, tea, cigarettes were all shared with us as three generations of family piled into the living from from above in the complex. One daughter spoke the best English as well as Arabic Hebrew and Russian. What a powerhouse I must say. She was about to take her dentistry exams within a year and was happy we dropped by for some English practice. By far this was the grand example of human interconnection that I had ever experienced. For an entire family to welcome us in, take selfies and photos, feed us, he'll they would have clothed us if we were standing in front of them naked and bare. We might as well have been as we were lost, cold and alone in a country with no other contacts.i will forever find gratitude in them and hopefully will be able to return the favor someday to a lonely wanderlust er looking for their hostel for the evening. We chose not to stay long in Nazareth but Steven managed to get some mud and sand for his mother as she loves the story of mother Mary. But after that we were out of there quickly and off to the Sea of Galilee to attempt to walk on water. It didn't work but it had a lovely misty feel to it with Israeli flags flying high around the edges. Proud they are. A country of abused and misused rising from the ashes. Becoming one of the most defensive countries the world knows today. And so we drove. We drove into the afternoon and into Haifa, the city of hills. Built upon these hills was the Bahia temple gardens. Luscious layers of shrubbery and prayer sites. The youngest riling ion of the world with the most beautiful sense of natural composition. Youthfulness is what brings our present into the future. I wish the older generation of Americans had the audacity to understand this. They're selfish for the most part though. A generation of sociopaths raised by media that brought them to addiction and fear of the unknown. To them, curiousity killed the cat. To the youth curiousity is what brought the cat to our laps. Anyway, we spent the first hour of Haifa looking for wifi and waiting for our Airbnb host to get home and let us in. Just walking the city and shooting the shit. It began to rain and rain hard after we made our way to a few sites. This is the time when we look for food and relax before our parking meter is up. We found a deliciously petit spot with the gas heaters blaring to fend of the frosty winds. What annoyed us most is that everyone we had asked about restaurant recommendations, was just...unsure. They kept directing us to McDonald's. Luckily we passed the gem just in enough time to make it back before the parking meter went running out. By dark fall our host came home and was ready for us. She seemed to have a lot on her mind but still gave us tea and a spot of conversation. After Steven and her exchanged paintings and artwork, we spent the rest of the dark and dreary evening in our bedroom. Catching up with the world that wasn't in Haifa. We woke with an early start and took view of the gardens, managed to find the cutest human inclusive shakshuka spot along the base of the gardens. We followed this with a trip to mount Carmel. I know, it sounds like a hundred churches in the US but this is what Haifa is built on. Half of the mount is the city and the other side is fixed with hiking trails down into the valley. We drove and stopped at the topped. Walked for a bit and screamed into the distance in hopes to hear echos. It was thrilling. Steven made up a story about the haifens and another clan having a massive battle over a piece of metal that we found and how mount Carmelo's was truly just a burial ground for all of those fighting over the piece of metal that we were sitting on. We would drive on after this and make it to our final destination. Tel Aviv. This would be where Steven and I split up and the continuation of my journey, while he heads home. So we spent days trolling through the city. Smoking cigarettes with our host who me had one of the largest apartments in Tel Aviv. A block from the water the lawyer and the textile artist lived, chain smoking and smoking pot loving one another for the past 9 years. Steven and I thought she was just there for the money but most of the time we saw real love. He a chef and we his guests. We would wander out for felafel and adventure any chance we had. The shower was cold but the conversation was lively. I remember wandering with Steven to the bridge of the stars with all of our astrological signs mounted to the would banister. It was said that dreams would come true if you wished upon your sign. I'm still half waiting. We'd get lost in street markets and find more kenaffe to eat. It wasn't as good as it was in Jordan but it did us well. I almost couldn't finish it. It was sweet as the day! All that I wanted to do when we reached Tel Aviv was dance with Steven in the gayest club we could find. We were rudely awakened by the fact that the city didn't operate as Chicago does. It operated on weekend pop up parties and not real dance clubs. So we settled for conversation and a few beers for me. We weren't happy about it to say the least. The bar was quite interesting though. It was an open air bar that allowed for smoking at every table on multiple layers as if we were in a theatre in the round. I believe the bar was called Friends or something. Nobody wanted to make friends with other tables but pre-existing friends sure had a laugh around us. And so we'd drive the car 30 minutes north to drop it off. Steven still nervous of the scratches he made in Nazareth went and delivered it alone while I waited. It took us about and hour to walk down the coast of the Mediterranean Sea. Talking pictures and walking through sands. Watching consumers consume on the pier restaurants. It was like our goodbye walk before our goodbye dinner. After that I'd have to find a new Airbnb which I had and ended up not needing. Part two anyway. Steven and I shared one final romantic dinner over calzones and pizza. We pigged out and he bought the meal for me. Smiles exchanged and the slow dance styled walk back to the spot. We went to bed and went off to dream land until he woke me up at 3 am to say good bye. And just like that another close friend was here and gone. What's so strange about seeing Steven is that we are so similar. When he first arrived we were both like Farrell cats checking out a smell that was once familiar but our guard still high up to the sky. Being in the Middle East changed our relationship than the streets at home were we would scream and laugh and twirl around without a care in the world. Here we were a bit more reserved and withheld the passion we have for each other a bit. Man i can't wait to go dancing with him again. Until then.