#god I miss my children so much | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jcforsapphics · 1 year

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I don't think I'm physically able to get over andi mack. It's hard for me to explain in words just how much it meant to me. god I can spend forever talking about this show.

#it's been so long but god I just started rewatching and #god I miss my children so much #should I start posting fics again #andi mack #cyrus goodman #buffy driscoll #tj kippen #jonah beck #tyrus #cal's basement

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stil-lindigo · 1 year

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prodigal son.

a sort of epilogue for God of War Ragnarok, since I miss these two so much.

support me on patreon

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laniidae-passerine · 5 months

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I made my post about Dean Highbottom and then as I was writing my tags realised that his Hunger Games counterpart is Haymitch. and now my head is in my hands and I don’t think I’ll ever recover

#IM GOING TO CRY. I am part of the system I never wanted anything to do with it #I killed so many people without laying a hand on them. I never ever asked for this. I tried to say no. my hands are still bloody.#both turned to drugs to cope. both had a mentee who reminded them of someone they hated so much #(snow reminded the dean of his old friend. katniss reminded haymitch of himself)#both knew exactly how the games worked and all of its consequences because one made it and the other lived it #both lived in the shadows of the past and never really got out from it #but in the end one of them chose to be cruel to the children who they were asked to mentor #and the other loved even when it was killing him #god. twenty three years and they never managed to drown the fire out of him. his heart broke again and again #but he held onto those shards even as they made his hands bleed. and then one day two children appeared and pieced it back together #and some of it was missing and always would be. you can’t undo twenty three years of alcoholism and pain and grief and self loathing #but a lot of it was still there. far more than he ever even believed could have survived #Haymitch I love youuuuuuuuu I will always love you #and Dean Highbottom you were kinda cringe and lame. guynobody ass bitch. do better #haymitch abernathy #dean highbottom #thg #the hunger games #a ballad of songbirds and snakes #abosas

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ridl · 10 months

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Ganqing being the faces of Dragon Boat Festival SEQUEL!!!

#ganqing #genshin impact #ganyu #keqing #yaoyao and qiqi with them too.... their associated children!!!#i missed waking up to my twt tl screaming abt ganqing so much #i missed ganqing so much #asdhgfsagjkda #god i love them #gonna engrave this in my memory and also add to the ganqing google doc

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cuubism · 2 years

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dream: i have learned something today. perhaps humanity is not so bad after--

hob: hey look! cheez whiz! how neat! :D

dream: ..... it is time we had The Flood 2.0 and started over from scratch

#modern life is the bane of dream's existence this i assert #god the sandman is just so ripe for shitposting #dreamling #also like #i feel like dream is pretty good at figuring stuff out and i mean he has everyone's dreams to help #but he also missed out on history for a full century #so there's definitely a few months where he's just having like. constant fits of despair as hob shows him YET ANOTHER #newfangled and cursed invention #and what's funny is i dont think dream would be averse to like phones and the internet and stuff it's probably FASCINATING #from a dream perspective actually #what gets him is the fact that the grocery store has 168 brands of white bread #hes like why. for the love of god why #so much shit has happened to catch up on like #more happens in the 20th century in terms of technological developments and stuff than in like 3 centuries prior #dream looking around at climate change: destruction and despair i see you've been running the place in my absence hmm #hob: hey did you hear about this thing called nfts #dream. who has in fact heard of this from many many distressing dreams: no. no. do not speak to me of this cursed object #hob returning from babysitting a friends kid: god childrens media is awful nowadays isnt it? i mean granted i had literally sticks #to play with as a kid but they have this horrible show cocomelon--#dream collapsing to the floor in a puddle of pure desolation: noooooooo i have already had to watch 500 million hours of babies dreams #of this shit why would you REMIND ME #the possibility for crack is literally endless pun intended

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sotogalmo · 4 months

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4:59

Thinking of these tags I made.

CC my son ,,,,

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stoplickingthedamnthing · 4 months

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Well, I'm starting anew in Faerûn, so I think I will try and share the journey here this time around :) I'm still trying to get the hang of the cam to get nice screens, but I'm playing with mods on a Dark Urge playthrough and quite like her. I've adapted an old one-shot character of mine because I never got the chance to play her in a campaign setting. For now, I want to build her story anew, as a Redemption Durge, because I feel that arc will suit her really well :)

This is Dysnomia Mossgrove (Nomi for short), who I had built as a lvl 7 shadowcaster back in the day. Her clan had expected the birth of a half-elf girl who was to be named Amber and then become archdruid someday. Instead, they found themselves with a tiefling babe who cast no shadow, and they did not welcome her. Her and her mother were cast out and, by the time she was 4, her mother passed from an unknown illness. The local Inkeeper, an old dwarven woman who called herself Ma Flora raised her then. No one ever got used to the kid who moved about the tavern unnaturally silently and seemed to cast no shadow, yet moved like one herself.

Of course, that was before. Or maybe it was a dream. Ever since she got out of that Nautiloid she's had really strange dreams. Some involving a life where she helped smuggle people to safety under the cover of shadows, where the night lent her the power to control the shadows that surrounded her in this distant land. But most of her dreams are of a much more violent nature. Bloody. Not quiet like shadows, but drowning in screams of agony. Not hers- others' agony. And in the dreams she relishes the sound, wants more of it. More warm blood on her hands.

When she wakes, she feels sick. These urges are vile, but something in the depth of that depravity calls out to her like an old familiar friend. It takes her considerable effort not to give in to the urge to slash, maim, kill when she first meets Astarion. Granted, he did attempt to hold a blade to her throat, so. Well, at least she's not the only one who seems blade-happy around here.

Meeting Gale went much better (than it could've). Despite the condition of her memory, Nomi was certain even wizards were supposed to be a bit better at controlling magic and their portals. Thankfully, she'd suppressed the urge to slice his hand clean off when he first reached out to her for help. He seemed friendly, even a touch too friendly. And, as is typical for wizards, believed his ties to magic better than those of a sorcerer born to it.

They found Lae'zel a short ways from Gale's malfunctioning portal, hanging from a cage and staring daggers at a pair of tieflings below. Luckily, they fell for a quick lie and went on their way (much to Lae'zel's displeasure). The githyanki is too hungry for battle, and the last thing Dysnomia wants is another voice urging her to kill. It might not be the wisest thing, to keep her company. But until they have a better lead than her creche for a cure, it might just be the best choice regardless.

Thankfully, they came across a few crypt-thieves before long who gave them no choice but to fight, and they were the perfect target for her shadow and death magic. She could only hope her companions didn't notice the twinkle in her eye each time she struck true, each time the thieves winced, each time another fell lifeless to the ground.

While fighting scribes of undeath didn't satisfy the sick urges within her, Nomi was glad for the opportunity to test her skills without battling the constant whispers in her mind as well. Unfortunately, nothing in the crypt brought them any closer to finding a cure, or to her lost past. She still couldn't understand why she seemed the only one among the group with such particular symptoms.

Oh, and an elderly undead was about as cryptic as you'd expect before he shuffled along his merry way.

At camp, she wasn't quite certain if Astarion was making fun of her, or if he genuinely wanted to discuss what she thought the best way to be killed was. A quick blade, to be sure, painless. Though her hands ached as necromantic magic threatened to surge and show him a different way during the conversation.

Should she be wary of Astarion? Should he be wary of her (he probably should)? Or were they actually getting along? Well, at least they seem to get along well enough.

Gale, too. Though she could do without the wizard's typical displays of hubris. It was bad enough to keep from slicing things open at every other turn, but this petty rivalry between wizards and sorcerers would turn to more than simple bickering if she lost control of her own unsightly urges. But by the gods, he does realize he has a mirror right in front of him, does he not? he set up the tent himself, Night's sake.

Oh, and the elder undead from earlier joined them at camp tonight. Seems he will be joining the crew. No, not Astarion (though his complexion is nearly as pale as Withers', but that's besides the point).

___

Whoo, ok that's what I got for the first session of play, lol. Not certain if I want to do these updates for every session or find a different way to tell the story as it evolves. I want a way to flex my atrophied writing muscle as well so we will have to see how this turns out. BUT here's some extra fun bits: Her name comes from the greek deity of lawlessness and chaos, a daughter of Eris (and Dysnomia is now one of Eris's moons too!). In her original backstory she had no knowledge of the source of her powers, or why she has no shadow of her own, but can control any shadows near her. Her powers lean towards darkness and death (necromancy) but she strives to help others even though they often fear her. She was a smuggler in a time of war, helping civilians relocate safely and ferrying goods between and behind enemy lines. I also love the fact that another meaning for the word Dysnomia relates to anomic aphasia, though! This is, in tldr, a memory issue affecting word retrieval and problems recalling words, names, numbers and nouns in general. So the memory tie-in seemed perfect for a Durge playthrough! :) You guys I'm even more excited for this playthrough than my first one.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #astarion #gale of waterdeep #bg3 mods #bg3 dark urge #durge tav #Dysnomia Tav #oh my god i want to take a million screenshots of them all #I miss my Gale romance playthrough but that file got corrupted #I don't have the heart to restart it yet #so here we are #also I am usually just a fly in the wall reblogger and actually posting is relatively new to me so #do let me know if improvements can be made lol #otherwise #welcome! I will continue to throw my children in here and i hope you enjoy the little idiots as much as I do #and please ask me anything you want about the playthrough or Nomi

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applecherry108 · 10 months

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I…

So I grew up watching The Simpsons. And maybe I shouldn’t have, but hey, it was the 90s and parent-sanctioned family time to watch a show that was definitely inappropriate for little-little kids.

Anyways.

I knew Phil Hartman, voice of Troy McClure and Lionel Hutz died in 1998, when I was seven. I knew he died and was sad about it. I missed his characters.

MOTHERFUCKER I WAS TODAY YEARS OLD—30-FUCKING-2 TO BE EXACT—WHEN I FOUND OUT, FROM A YOUTUBE THUMBNAIL, THAT HE WAS MURDERED. IN HIS SLEEP. BY AN EX-PARTNER.

WHAT THE FUCK

#I assumed he was old and just passed away. maybe he was sick. how do you explain to a 7yo that a voice actor was MURDERED #and idk the state of the show nowadays but esp in its earlier seasons it was definitely meant to push boundaries and yeah #I don’t think I should’ve been to it before the age of 8 to 10 #at minimum. but also. SO much just flew over my head. and we know now I. autistic and my parents are autistic #and do you know how many echolalia swims we all have from that show? 😂😅#*stims goddamn you autocorrect. every day the apple company curses my tags. I miss having an actual keyboard god damn it #apple talks #to the tune of spam #my parents weren’t naive enough to think all animation is for kids like there were plenty of shows I hasn’t allowed to watch as a kid #but idk man. for some reason the Simpsons and the critic were a-okay #but king of the hill wasn’t?? honestly I think it had more to do with whether or not my dad in particular liked a show than whether or not #it was deemed ‘appropriate for children’#my mom tried to ban me from watching sailor moon bc she said it was just ‘little girls jumping around in short skirts being saved by the boy #like hi mom I’m gay. and also watched it in secret for several years. she never found out. I told her long after bc I thought it was #hilarious. mostly she was just mad bc my grandpa was supposed to be watching me lmao

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nakeurnes · 3 months

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oououuuowowaah story of undettale

#TSUAUSUSBGGHyzhaa i HATE OUR BROTHER I HATE HIM SO FUCKING MUCH NO MATGER HOW HARD I TRY all GHE SHIT I DO TO TEY AND SYMPATHIZE WITH HIM HE #FUCKING THRNS AROUND AND IS A DICK TO ME FOR NO RESON AND !!!! YLS AT ME FOR NO REAON SOMETIEMS SHUT UL SHUT UP YOURE LITERALLY 13 STFU #i fucking hste it here i hate being fcjingg 18 and having to share the sMe room with him i have sincd he wzz BORN.#GOD. ONE FUCKING NIGHT ALONE WIYHOUY HIS ANNOYING ASS I CSNT EVEN JERK OFF OR STAY UP LATE OR LISTEN TO LOUD MUSIC #AND LIKE IM HALDWy fhinking OH! OM BEING IRRATIONAL jd spLITTING AGAIN AND I AM. BYT HE IS JST A DICK I HATE TEENAGE BOYS I HOPE HE DIES #hes SO FUCKING MEAN hes cslldd me slurs and a bitch multiple times in the most derogayory way and i hate him #he knows abg the zysfem too snd just CHOOSES TO IGNORE IT APPARENTLY DOESNG CARE WHO HES TALKING TO.#auuggh moments i regret being ghe host i hate it here.#i hate our familh theyre just fu jing mean yhis shit builxing up is whzg made me snap in the first place!!! and couldng host for a long time #andd now im upset and spiralling and i dont wang to be a bother espcially sijce spe ific ppl i wantto talk to arsnt thefe an d it makes me #very very bvery sa d i msis my friends #i cry everry day miss ing them i have beene really liking remembering things with nicki #no onee knwos wht im talking about or wjo i am #i dont want to be useless please need me i jave no other purposs #im a nuisance to ppl whow ant to front #i sit here living in the past that doesnt exist anymore and pray every day for it to come baxk knowing it wont ever come back #i miss . my friends i dont tthink they like me #im too pushy when im happy and when im upset im too cold i never make anyoke happy an d i talk too muc h and it hurts wberyone #icant even ve of goo d use to mmy actual children in headspace im an awful mother i cant stay stable enough tk help anyone or do anything #me being here has only caused problems and I remember why i left before #me when i spiral and makenmsyelf sonmu h more upset than before #vent #shelly

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vampireknitting · 4 months

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I have to get my wisdom teeth removed here on the 4th and I really wish medical anxiety wasn’t so dismissed or laughed at.

The anxiety has been slowly ramping up since Christmas and now that I have to cut out the only thing that’s managed the fibromyalgia bs. I mean sure it’s just weed. But when my health tanked and I was throwing up half of everything I tried to eat and losing weight like it was nothing. Unfortunately it was the only thing that helped stop the vomiting.

I’ve been put on and taking off several medications over the years for being the unlucky type that doesn’t react well to different meds. All the gut pills they wanted me to take hurt or was you know making me digest my own blood.

The Fibromyalgia began creeping in when I was in high school and the doctors I had told me to eat pills and go away. I had injured my knee and it just didn’t get better. I still have issues with it. Being a childhood cancer survivor means health complaints must be cry’s for attention or drugs.

They asked me to not consume any weed because they don’t know if it’ll hurt me to be put under so they can cut out the heavily impacted teeth. Which fine, I won’t fight because they could label me as some sort of user or drug obsessed or whatever. But the only drug that I know can kill you while being put under is meth.

My sister’s dental surgeon said don’t stop smoking weed because there isn’t anything out that supports either side. Pro weed or anti-weed before surgery. He didn’t want anything to add to the stress of the surgery so he said keep doing what you’re doing.

#disabled homemaker #just some thoughts #too much anxiety #i just wanna cry #how do you stand your ground against people who are so quick to label you as some sort of druggie #they argue with me when I say painkillers make me sick #I’m not asking for special treatment just for straight answers.#it’s made worse when I get eye rolls for saying my health issues started before I started smoking #I’m not asking you fucks to smoke with me I’m asking you why #how do you even begin working with an anxiety type that is triggered by medical professionals? why are drugs the only fucking answer?#I was diagnosed with leukaemia at 4.5 years old. my most important years of development #have been dominated by adults who kinda treated me like a fucking animal who couldn’t understand a lick of English #or ignored because she only misses the treatment she use to get as a child.#because I love being talked over like I don’t fucking exist or I’m just crazy #I just love the sneer I get when they read cancer survivor in my charts and suddenly I’m the paragon of health #even though I’ve been asking for help for most of my life because I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t keep up with the other kids.#because the cancer is gone you can’t possibly have any other health issue ever because that’s a direct insult the medical professionals #to insinuate that they couldn’t play god and make me magically so healthy that chemotherapy couldn’t possibly leave behind issues.#no that only happens to adults because children are supposed to be rubber and bounce no matter what #just ugh #fuck the medical system #medical anxiety

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tenitchyfingers · 1 year

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ok but fr I think Stu and Billy should be parents and be actually really loving and soft parents to Sam, while literally gutting everyone else and being protective like animals and hey so what if Sam comes out to them as queer? I could finally use my favorite line from the Chucky show, "I'm a murderer, not a monster" which god, Don Mancini you are such a real one for that

#for context it was about glen and glenda who are chucky's and tiffany's non-binary children #and that entire show is fucking great A+ 12/10 idk how else to describe it #AGAIN #THEY HAD DEVON SAWA COMING BACK FOR NOT ONE CHARACTER #NOT FOR TWO TWIN BROTHERS #BUT FOR TWO TWINS AND A COMPLETELY UNRELATED OTHER CHARACTER #AND THEY ALL DIED ONE AFTER THE OTHER #DEVON SAWA = JESUS #except he blew up every other time #one time was literal #IT IS SO MUCH FUN GOD I MISS CHUCKY #I WANT SEASON 3 #and come on AT LEAST THAT ONE WAS RENEWED #now give me scream 7 and shove Lillard in there come on bitches #just DO IT #DON'T LET MY DREAMS BE DREAMS #COME onnnnn

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memendoemori · 1 year

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Varik helped kill a half-primal last night for an RP event and when I tell you the most joy I get with him is when he gets to be horrifically successful at being violent and we get to make memes about it

#Varik is so socially restrained and very much a stick in the mud boss #until you get him out in the field and a gun is in his hands #and he gets to go :) hello naughty children #I am the right hand of your god which I slaughtered #and everyone goes oh. right. he's been a merc for like 15 years #ffxiv #doerambles #Varik my love... I missed being in your headspace so much

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brockachu · 2 years

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the sedins and luongo are being inducted into the hhof on their first year of eligibility. first ballot. i’m in tears i’m not kidding. i’ve been down fucking Bad with covid for the past 4 days and today on the first day i can fucking breathe and stay conscious for more than 4 hours at a time the sedins and lu are going into the hhof i’m laughing and crying in my lil armchair i’m So Happy

#i just. i’m alive and i’ve been writing and i’ve been thinking about these fucking dudes for weeks #i’m just like really fucking happy to be alive and enjoying it like idk how to say this without sounding fucking ridiculous #i have a fucking chronic cough i was so worried this would make it flare up or actually make it worse #i’ve been sick in bed filled with dread and catastrophizing for four fucking days #my dog has been crying outside my door for three days bc i can’t let him sleep in here in case he carries it to my housemates #i couldn’t listen to music for the past 3 days bc the migraines got so bad and i basically live with music on usually #at its worst with my cough i literally can’t laugh without hyperventilating. it’s so depressing.#i just like 2 months ago finally shook of a really bad depressive episode paired with the Worst seasonal depression in years #i have survived this past 9mos by transmuting my feelings through hockey #the sedins & lu in hhof is so gratifying. so important. one day maybe i’ll have the words for it in poem #god do i need to write a sedins poem & a lu poem. they’re just. so important. so good.#did y’all know lu was the only nhler to speak in support of the marjorie stoneman douglas kids? yeah #i just told someone on twitter about the sedins & bc children’s hospital #i’m fucking happily sobbing listening to muna & bad bunny & rina sawayama #i am So Grateful to be alive and mostly healthy and for my brain to not be fighting me as much and god yeah #i’m not even mad i missed pride this weekend! 😂 the sun is shining and so is motherfucking aily #aily talks #canucks lb

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thebirdandhersong · 2 years

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cannot emphasize HOW MUCH

#i don't CARE #about whether or not the governess is honest or dishonest or whether or not the children are possessed or aren't possessed #or whether or not this is a ghost story or a lady-going-insane story like!!!! yes i am english major yes i am engaging Critical Thinking #abilities while studying HOWEVER i have so much to read at this point in the term that i'm like. do i care about this. no.#ok moving on #SKFJ: SK:LDKSJ:LSKd this is just a really roundabout way of saying that a) i did not miss writing essays on a deadline #b) really really don't care for henry james (after reading portrait of a lady i was like ok cool you're a writer who exists)#c) i really resent the fact that i have to get this done asap as in before i go to bed because ya girl is tired and can't think #d) not looking forward to the rush of academic mental traffic tomorrow. classes more assignments due and MEEEEETINGS #God bless my faculty i think we're all insane but we're having fun 70% of the time #(adventures in class)#i am nearly halfway through the essay so props to me i guess. wish i didn't have to write this darn thing though #slings and arrows of outrageous fortune in year 21

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renegadeontherunn · 1 year

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guys i’m on spring break you know what that means!

yes i’m starting a new season of dimension 20 KAJDJAJKFKA

#fiona speaks #fiona watches d20!!!!#and it’s fantasy high!!!! sophomore year!!!!! i’ve been waiting to start this one literally since i finished s1!!!#but i felt i had to wait on principle and watch all the ones in between #but now i can watch it!!!!#also it’s their spring break….and it’s MY spring break….so trueee #also also i love adaine so much 😭#also i love gorgug and i love him and zelda oh my god i forgot how personal they are to me #I LOVE THEM 😭#truly after the unsleeping city and a crown of candy i #i love murph AKDJJAKFKA #LIKE #I DID NOT APPRECIATE HIM OR RIZ IN FANTASY HIGH 1 #BUT I DO NOW #I LOVE HIM #anyway i’m so excited :))))#I MISSED MY CHILDREN #also idk how i like the d20 live….we’ll see #i’m glad to be out of the pool of pain that was acoc

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