#gonna build him a shrine hes so damn adorable | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

darkdevasofdestruction · 4 years

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Platinum Cherry Blossom - Kujo Jotaro (1/2)

MULAN x STARDUST CRUSADERS & VENTO AUREO (just a tiny bit)

Cast:

Fa Mulan - Reader Li Shang - Kujo Jotaro Fa Li (Mulan’s mother) - Bruno Buccellati (You had it coming...) Fa Zhou (Mulan’s father) - Leone Abbacchio (Godamn it, me...) Little Brother (Mulan’s dog) - Ghirga Narancia (Wtf am I doing?) Grandmother Fa - Guido Mista (By this point, you can go ahead and throw me out of the window) The Matchmaker - Trish Una (Sorry, girl, I never liked you) Chi Fu (Annoying Advisor) - Enyaba The Emperor - Joseph Joestar General Li - Sadao (Jotaro’s dad that’s not busy playing the sax anymore) Shan Yu - Dio Brando Yao - Jean - Pierre Polnareff Ling - Kakyoin Noriaki Chien-Po - Avdol Muhammad Mushu - Iggy Cricket - Sex Pistols (Mainly #5)

Oh boy, this is gonna be quite the ride... And BOY am I gonna have fun with this!

ALSO, I will make this a 2 part story because apparently it’s getting too damn long and I wouldn’t want to make a novel on a single post!

CLICK HERE FOR:

PART 2

Somewhere, far away, during a night with the full moon peeking from behind the clouds, many soldiers were walking up and down the Great Chinese Wall, making sure no threats were to befall the Kingdom...

However, this very night seemed to be rather problematic for one simple soldier, whose helmet had been stolen by a bird...But it was not just any bird, it was a hawk.

The man stared in confusion at the bird that perked itself on a spear, croaking into the night, and almost as if on cue, a grappling hook was thrown high into the sky, latching itself onto the stone wall.

As the man stepped forward to see what was going on, countless more hooks rained in the sky, grabbing onto the wall, and it was then that he realised they were under attack, which made him yell out for his comrades, telling them to light the signal, running towards the little base.

Much to his dismay, instead of his allies, huge huns came out instead, so he quickly jumped on the wooden ladder before they could chop it off, and climbing on the roof, he grabbed a lit torch, only to be met face to face with the abominable Hun leader, Dio Brando, his hawk obediently latching itself on his master’s shoulder.

The loyal shoulder realised he had no chance to win a 1 on 1 combat, so he threw his torch in the tar filled fountains, and thus, alerting all the other bases situated on the Wall, and in turn, all of them lighting up the signal.

“Now all of China knows you’re here!” the solder spoke bravely, feeling a sense of pride as he was able to at least alert the Emperor of the potential danger.

In turn, the enemy leader only smirked widely, breaking the Chinese flag and lighting it up on fire, only saying one word - “Perfect.”

His plan was going accordingly, and the little soldier that only did his duty as instructed, fell right into his master plan.

---

In the Palace, General Kujo, along with 2 of his soldier, went to alert the Emperor of the grave new befalling the Empire, and thus, kneeling and bowing in front of him, his face grave and stern.

“Your Majesty, the Huns have crossed our northern border.” Sadao informed the Emperor, but he was quickly cut off by his advisor. “Impossible! No once can get through the Great Wall!” Enyaba sneered at the general, hitting her staff on the ground. “Dio Brando is leading them. We’ll set up defenses around your palace immediately.” the general declared, but his words were denied by the wise Emperor. “No. Send your troops to protect my people.” Emperor Joestar informed. “Enyaba.” “Yes, Your Highness?” the old woman asked. “Deliver conscription notices throughout all the provinces. Call up reserves and as many new recruits as possible.” Joseph ordered the advisor. “Forgive me, Your Majesty, but I believe my troops can stop him.” the General tried to reason with his master. “I won’t take any chances, General. A single grain of rice can tip the scale. One man may be the difference between victory and defeat.” the Emperor explained to the man in front of him, while also giving him a gentle new lesson of life.

---

In another part of China, there was a girl that recently turned of age, and had to be sent to the Matchmaker very soon, to find a suitable husband for her - Until then, she had to revise constantly the lessons of proper etiquette and lady mannerism that have been taught to her since she was but a little babe.

“Quiet and demure. Graceful. Polite. Delicate. Refined. Poised. Punctual!” the girl sat in bed, eating rice and neatly writing the words on her arm, so she would remember them later on, when needed.

However, as soon as she spoke out the last word, the rooster sang and she quickly jolted up from the bed, calling out for her little brother, Narancia, while blowing on her skin so the ink would dry. “Narancia! Nara...! Ah, there you are!” the girl found her little brother snoring on the floor, no doubt having fallen asleep again while playing. “Aww, Nara, who’s the most adorable little brother in the world?! Come on, help me out, it’s gonna be fun!” she said, dragging her hyperactive brother out of his room. “You want me to help you with your chores, right? You’ve got it!” he grinned widely, as the girl took a bag of grains, roped it around her brother’s waist and gave him a nice treat, telling him where to run so the chickens would all get to eat.

But of course, just as he was going out of the room...He missed the door and hit himself on the wall. No worries, though, he quickly recovered and started running around the garden, trying to use up all the energy he had.

On the other hand, their father, Leone, kneeled inside the shrine of their ancestors, bowing and praying for them, knowing very well what kind of daughter he had and how she needed to be tamed, in a way.

“Damn it, Ancestors, if you truly are there, PLEASE help my daughter impress that annoying Matchmaker today. I promise I won’t drink sake for the rest of the week.” just as he said that, Narancia got in the shrine, circled his father, and left, just like that.

The grains that remained in the shrine attracted quite a lot of chickens, which only exasperated Abbacchio further.

“PLEASE help her, or at least help my headache, or I have no idea what I’m gonna do.” he groaned, facepalming.

In the meantime, Y/N had enough time to dress up nicely and brush her hair, pulling it in a neat tail in the back, as she went to the shrine, hurriedly bringing her father some tea, only to bump into him, make the cup fall and shatter.

But she was prepared, she already knew she may or may not fuck up, so she brought a spare cup, smiling in victory at her witty plan.

“Remember, the doctor said 3 cups of tea in the morning, and 3 at night. Only that will help you with the pain caused by the war against the Hun Diavolo.” she smiled, not caring that her father was constantly calling out her name so she would pay attention. “Y/N...Why aren’t you in town already? We are counting on you to-” he began saying, only to be neatly cut off by the girl. “To uphold the family honour.” she smiled at him.

In truth, Abbacchio was rather annoyed with having to constantly repeat that ‘Honour’ bullshit, almost as if he was some robot manufactured only to bring honour, but he was aware of how cruel society can be to those who don’t abide the rules, so even if he had to hurt his daughter’s feelings, in a way, by not letting her be free and do as she pleases, he’d rather her live a normal life than be hated and shunned.

“Don’t worry, papa, I won’t let you down.” the girl smiled sweetly at him as she unconsciously tugged down on her sleeve to cover the words written in ink. “Wish me luuuuck~!” she thrilled as she started skipping down the stairs. “I’m...Going to pray some more...And drink some sake...” Leone sighed, looking down at his little son as he came next to him, munching on some nice treat.

---

In town, Bruno was pacing up and down, waiting for her daughter to appear already, until some woman came out of the building, calling out to him.

“Bruno Buccellati, is your daughter here already? The Matchmaker is not a patient woman.” she informed the worrying man as she went back inside. “Of all days to be late...I should have prayed to the ancestors for luck.” he sighed, looking up to the sky with a worried expression. “How lucky can they be? They’re all dead! Besides, I’ve got ALL the luck we’ll need! This is your chance to prove yourselves, Pistols!” grandpa Mista smirked, looking at the playful bullets in his little birdcage, wanting to do a little test of luck.

He covered his eyes with his hand, letting his lucky bullets guide his fate as he passed the street, despite Bruno’s warnings... But of course, Mista was on the other side of the road, not touched by the traffic. The same can’t be said about the traffic, however, as there was only chaos and mayhem where she stepped.

“Yep, these bullets are lucky ones! Now, as long as there’s no Number 4, Y/N won’t have to fear a thing!” Mista cheered carefree, showing off the birdcage in which the bullets were cheering as well.

As if on cue, a gorgeous black horse, ridden by none other than Y/N, came in sigh, and she quickly jumped off in front of her ‘mother’, claiming that she’s there...With an ear of wheat stuck in her hair.

“What? But, Mama, I had to -” the girl tried to reason her tardiness, but her mum had none of it. “None of your excuses. Now, let’s get you cleaned up.” Bruno cut her off, getting her inside the building.

“This is what you give me to work with Well honey, I've seen worse We're going to turn this sow's ear into a silk purse” the woman sang as she undressed Y/N and threw her in the bubbly bath.

“It’s freezing!” the poor girl shivered, hugging herself. “It would have been warm if you were here on time.” Bruno scolded her gently.

“We'll have you washed and dried Primped and polished till you glow with pride Trust my recipe for instant bride You'll bring honor to us all” the woman sang again as she started washing the girl’s hair with much pride.

“Y/N, what is this?” Bruno raised his eyebrow in confusion as he tried to scrub the girl’s arm and noticed the scribblings. “Uhhh...Notes? In case I forget something?” the girl tried to play it cool, awkwardly taking her arm back. “Hold this. We’ll need more luck than I thought.” Mista chuckled, giving Bruno the bird cage with the bullets, as the girl finished bathing and put on a simple white robe.

“Wait and see, when we're through” the first woman sang, cheerfully brushing half half of Y/N’s hair. “Boys will gladly go to war for you” the second woman sang, brushing the other half of her hair, then tying it up in an updo with a red ribbon. “With good fortune” the first woman began her verse, letting the other one continue. “And a great hairdo.” the other one said, putting the mirror in front of her and the girl. “You'll bring honor to us all” the women sang, accompanied by Bruno.

“A girl can bring her family Great honor in one way By striking a good match And this could be that day” all the women were singing outside the building as Bruno was walking Y/N to the seamstresses, and in the way, the girl stopped to ponder the best move for checkers, beating the elderly man who thought he won...Before being dragged by her mum.

“Men want girls with good taste” the seamstress dressed in green sang “Calm” the one dressed in blue chirped simply. “Obedient“ Bruno cheered, helping the women with the red sash. “Who work fast paced” the plump seamstress jumped off the stool. “With good breeding and a tiny waist” Bruno sang, throwing the other end of the sash to the blue seamstress. “You'll bring honor to us all” they both sang as they suffocated the poor girl the the sash tightly knotted, but she at least looked stunning.

“We all must serve our Emperor Who guards us from the Huns A man by bearing arms A girl by bearing sons” everyone seemed to sing this overly annoying and indoctrinated song as the poor girl was dragged to the make up artist.

“When we're through You can't fail Like a lotus blossom soft and pale How could any fellow say "no sale" You'll bring honor to us all” the make up artist caked her face with the traditional make up for soon to be brides, and the girl simply took out a strand of hair to cover her forehead, admiring herself in the mirror.

“There, you're ready.” Bruno smiled tenderly at his daughter, taking out a gorgeous lower comb and putting it in her hair, caressing her face with pride and love. “Not yet!” Mista hurried inside with a huge grin. “An apple for serenity.” he began, putting a shiny red apple in her mouth. “A pendant for balance.” he continued, putting a lucky charm in her sash. “Beads of jade for beauty.“ he trailed on, putting the necklace around her neck. “You must proudly show it!” he raised up her chin, so she’ll carry herself with pride. “Now add the Pistols, just for luck! And even you can't blow it!” Mista put the birdcage to the sash, winking at the girl and doing a playful hip-hit with the girl, urging her to join the rest of her peers.

“Ancestors, hear my plea Help me not to make a fool of me And to not uproot my family tree Keep my father standing tall!” the girl smiled up at the sky, praying and rushing after the rest of the maidens.

“Scarier than the undertaker We are meeting our matchmaker” the rest of the girl sang, as Y/N quickly caught up to them. “Destiny, guard our girls And our future as it fast unfurls Please look kindly on these cultured pearls Each a perfect porcelain doll” all the women around sang, encouraging their daughters.

“Please bring honor to us- Please bring honor to us- Please bring honor to us- Please bring honor to us- Please bring honor to us all!” the girls sang, opening their coloured sun umbrellas and kneeling in front of the Matchmaker’s house in sync...Well, almost.

“Y/N” the Matchmaker Trish took out the pen from her hairdo and phlegmatically called out her name. “Present!” Y/N raised quickly, raising her hand enthusiastically. “Speaking without permission.” Trish sneered, turning her back to the girl and walking inside. “...Oops.” Y/N muttered, facepalming, realising that she was already fucking up. “Who spit in her bean curd?” she could hear her grandpa ask Bruno, which made her giggle softly.

Inside, Matchmaker Una started severely analysing her, saying she’s too skinny, not good for bearing sons, all while one of the Pistols, specifically Number 3, managed to escape the birdcage and was jumping around like a little cricket, making the girl quietly try to catch it, only to have to put it in her mouth as the pink haired ugly lady turned around, getting annoyingly close to her face, telling her to recite the final admonition.

Taking out her fan and hiding her face behind it, she quickly spit the bullet and started reciting what she remembered from the poem she kept repeating over and over at home.

“Fulfill your duties calmly and...Respectfully. Uhm...Reflect before you snack...Act! This shall bring you honour and glory.” the girl sighed in relief as she got it right and got away with the little cheating she did, despite the Matchmaker looking to see if she had anything written on her fan. “Now, pour the tea.” Trish dragged her by the wrist to the table, and so, getting ink on her hand without realising, much to the girl’s horror. “To please your future in-laws, you must demonstrate a sense of dignity...And refinement.” Y/N didn’t even relise she was spilling the tea on the table, just next to the cup, as she was staring blankly at the beard Matchmaker Una did on her face with her fingers. “You must also be poised.” the girl quickly poised herself and poured the tea in the cup this time, only to see #3 bathing peacefully in the warm beverage. “Uhmmm, pardon me...” the girl tried to warn the magenta haired woman as she took the cup to drink, only to get scolded. “AND silent!” she glared at the beautiful girl, raising the cup, taking a sniff of it. “Could I just take that back? Just one moment.” the girl asked, crawling on the table and taking a hold of the cup...Only to spill it on the Matchmaker’s face and clothes. “WHY, you, clumsy...!”

The pink haired woman was ready to shake the girl and scold her, only to realise she had something in her clothes, that make her shake and walk backwards, hitting the immolated coals used for the tea, and falling on them, creating a hole in her clothes and for her to jump up and down, trying to put off the fire, while shrieking like a monkey.

Y/N’s brilliant idea was to fan the hole, only to make the fire grow even more, and the woman burst out of her building, yelling for someone to put the fire out, as the younger girl threw the tea at her, successfully extinguishing the fire...

And her chances of marriage.

She softly handed her the teapot back as she covered her face and started walking back to her family.

“YOU ARE A DISGRACE! You MAY look like a bride, but you will NEVER bring your family honour!” Trish Una screeched in her face, as make up and tea were smearing down her face.

Everyone on the streets left, as only Bruno and Mista stood there, quietly trying to console the girl.

In vain, though.

She rode back home, not even able to face her smiling father, as she walked her horse back to the stables, looking at herself on the water sheen, watching herself with disappointment and anger.

“Look at me I will never pass for a perfect bride...” the girl sang to herself as she exited the stables and walked by the house, only to see Bruno tell Leone what happened at the Matchmaker and their reactions crushed her. “Or a perfect daughter Can it be I'm not meant to play this part Now I see That if I were truly to be myself, I would break my family's heart” she sighed, taking out the Pistols and letting them hang around her as she walked to the beautiful garden, on the way there jumping on the bridge rail and skipping on the posts.

“Who is that girl I see Staring straight, back at me Why is my reflection someone I don't know” she sang, watching herself in the pond before looking at the sky with a sorrowful look, before making her way to the shrine.

“Somehow I cannot hide Who I am Though I've tried When will my reflection show who I am inside When will my reflection show who I am inside” the girl continued, bowing down in front of the graves, using her sleeve to wipe away the dreadful make up and letting her hair down, before going back to the garden and sitting on the stone bench under the gorgeous Cherry tree.

Just as she sat down, she heard someone clear their throat, only to reveal the lavender haired man she called father looking at her with an expression that was much gentler than usual.

The girl couldn’t even face him, so she quickly snapped her head away, combing her hair with her fingers, looking down with her eyes closed, as the man sat down next to her.

“Huh...We have quite the nice blossoms this year...Oh, look at that. That one’s blooming rather late. I bet all the sake I have that when it blooms, it will be the most beautiful of all.” Abbacchio tried to reassure his daughter, taking the flower comb from her lap and fixing her hair, making her smile at him with a thankful expression.

They shared a tender look of love that was quickly interrupted by the sound of drums, making the man frown in confusion and dread.

He realised what was happening, as all the family went out to the gates, but while Bruno told the girl to stay inside, Mista pointed to the boxes she could use to jump on the gate to spy on them.

The Royal advisor was telling them that the huns have invaded China and that at least 1 man from every family must serve the Emperor, and unfortunately, their family was called as well.

She watched her father limp with his chin up in front of the soldiers, bowing respectfully and taking the scroll from his hand, saying how honoured he is to serve the Emperor.

“Papa, you can’t go!” the girl jumped off and went in front of him, shielding him. “Please, sir, my father has already fought bravely and he is also injured-” she tried to beg them, but the hag Advisor rode in front of them, yelling at them. “Silence! You would do well to teach your daughter to hold her tongue in a man’s presence!” the Advisor cackled, riding her horse away. “Y/N...Godamn it, you just can’t stop dishonouring me.” Leone looked away from his daughter as the grandpa gently pulled her away, feeling sad, knowing her benevolent intentions.

Abbacchio nodded at the soldier as he told him the orders and limped back in the house, not even looking at Bruno or bothering to take his cane again, all while the advisor kept saying more and more names.

Leone went back to his room, looking at the armor, taking his sword and trying to wield it, just like before when he wasn’t injured, and took out his Stand, but soon, his leg gave away and was barely able to grab on a pillar and keep himself straight, panting in pain and cursing the huns for disturbing their peace and taking him away from his loving family.

What he didn’t know was that his daughter was watching him from the hallway, crying as her heart broke seeing her father go through something like that.

Their dinner was silent, as she poured everyone tea, thunder and lightning striking outside, but every little noise pissed her off, driving her to the edge, until she slammed her cup on the table, raising and looking at her father.

“You shouldn’t have to go!” her voice was raised, but it was cracking. “Y/N...!” Bruno gasped, trying to calm her down. “There are plenty of young men to fight for China!” she tried to reason. “It is an honour to protect my country and my family.” Abbacchio looked away, reciting the words he was indoctrinated to say. “So you’ll go there to die for your stupid honour?!” she gritted her teeth in anger. “I will die doing what’s right, for goddamn once!” he retorted back. “But if -” she tried to reason again, but he got to his feet, towering over her. “I know my place! It is time you learned yours!” he spoke so harshly, like never before, it was like he was someone else, which made the girl snap her eyes wide open in shock. “If you think that a graveyard is your place, then fine, do what you want! But don’t expect China to sing you praises and don’t expect me to mourn for you!” she started crying angry tears, running away from that place, done with the whole fanaticism around.

That’s when she knew what she had to do...But she was afraid to admit it. She stood on the stone totem, letting rain soak her as she cried, and from outside, she could see her father trying to console her mother, but Bruno couldn’t even look at his husband...

And it hurt.

So much.

She was ready.

She knew what she had to do.

She went to the shrine, lighting up an incense stick, praying to the ancestors, then went to her parents’ room, taking the scroll and replacing it with her flower comb, took the armor and sword from the wardrobe, cutting her gorgeous long hair so she would resemble a man, putting it in a bun.

She put on her armor, went to the stables to her horse and so, they rode away to fulfill the role of a man in China.

Just as she left the place, Mista woke up with a gasp, as Number 5 kept crying that Y/N was gone, so he lit a lantern and went to Bruno’s and Abbacchio’s room, alerting them of what happened, which made Leone stare at the older man with horror and remorse, taking the flower comb in his hand and rushing, with his cane, to the wardrobe -

The armor and sword were gone.

He ran outside, in the rain, not caring about anything but to have his daughter back...

“Y/N! GODDAMN IT, Y/N, PLEASE COME BACK, I’M SORRY!” his voice boomed through the place, but he slipped and fell down. “Leone, you must go after her! She could be killed!” Bruno worried, helping his husband get up. “If I reveal her...She will be...” Abbacchio bit his lip so hard, trying not to cry, that blood started to go down his mouth.

Instead, all he could do was curse himself for arguing with the daughter he loved so much and try to comfort Bruno, who was crying in his shoulder, while Mista could only watch in sorrow the pair while praying to the Ancestors to have her be okay.

Somewhere in the Shrine, the ghost of Kars summoned someone named “Iggy” who awoke from a dark and fiery mist, screeching “I LIIIIIIVE!”

Kars had to scold Iggy for his over enthusiasm, as he hit the gong, waking all the ancestors to discuss the fate of the girl. The Zeppelis and the Speedwagons were fighting between themselves, there was the whole chaos that resulted in Iggy destroying the statue of the protector, and cursing himself for having to create a plan not to die. Outside, he met with #5 and together, they went in search for the girl.

---

Somewhere in the mountains, Dio was riding his army of Stand users as the D’arby brothers found two spies and threw them in the middle of them.

As Dio jumped off the horse, Pet Shop, his hawk, perched itself on the shoulder, and the man went in front of the 2 scouts with a smirk, watching their terrified looks.

“Nice work, gentlemen. You found MY army. Dio’s army.” Dio spoke tauntingly. “Emperor Joestar will stop you!” the younger scout was brave enough to speak up. “Stop me? Haha! He invited me! By building his stupid Speedwagon wall, he challenged my strength...My authority! Well, I’m here to play his little game.” the blond man took the poor spy by his throat, taking out his Stand, before throwing the man to the ground, feigning to put The World on them. “Go! Out of my sight! Tell Joseph Joestar to send his strongest armies! I’m ready. None may challenge me.” Dio made them run away, before stroking his chin, mockingly. “How many men does it take to deliver a message, I wonder~?” he crossed his arms, waiting for The Empress to act. “One, my Lord.” she laughed as she attached her Stand to one the men’s arm, easily killing one of them.

---

Y/N, who was looking through the bamboo forest at the army camp, glanced at her horse and clearing her throat, did her best manly impersonation, only to have the horse roll on the ground, neigh-laughing at her, which only made her roll her eyes in annoyance.

What neither of them was expecting was a big fire to form behind the rocks and the silhouette of a dog, and a dark voice calling out to them.

“Did I hear someone ask for a miracle? Let me hear you say AAAARGHHH!” the voice roared, scaring the girl, screaming and hiding behind a rock along with her horse. “That’s close enough.” the being chuckled in a lighter tone. “A ghost?” the girl whispered to herself, unsure of what she was seeing. “Get ready, Y/N, your canine salvation is at hand! For I have been sent by your ancestors to guide you through your masquerade! So heed my word! ‘Cause if the army finds out you’re a girl, the penalty is DEATH!” the scary being’s rawr echoed through the place. “Who are you...?” she asked, peeking from behind the rock. “Who am I? WHO am I?! I am the guardian of lost souls! I am the powerful! The pleasurable! The indestructible Iggy!” from behind the rock, Y/N saw a small and adorable dog grinning at her with a shit-eating smirk.

The girl and her horse felt rather disappointed at the help they received, so much that the cabalin started trampling on the dog because of the fear it sent them through, only to have the girl gently push it away and pick the dog by the tail, no longer a pancake on the ground.

“Uh...My ancestors send a little puppy to help me?” she asked in disdain. “Hey, hound! Hound, not puppy! I don’t to the tail wagging.” Iggy said, only to wag his tail rapidly. “You’re, uhm...Tiny. Very tiny.” the girl looked at him weirdly. “Of course, I’m travel-size for your convenience. If I was my real size, your cow here would die of fright” Iggy boasted, as the horse tried to hit him with his hoof again. “...Down, Bessie. My powers are beyond your mortal imagination. For instance, my eyes can see straaaaight through your armor...OOH!” Iggy wagged his tail, almost lecherously, making the girl put her arm around her chest instinctively, kicking the dog away, only for him to stumble next to #5. “All right, that’s it! Dishonour! Dishonour on your whole family! Dishonour on you, dishonour on your cow-” he began, making #5 take a note of all the things she brought dishonour to.

“Okay, I know, it’s a little late for that anyway. I’m sorry, Iggy, it’s just...I’m very nervous. I’ve never done this before.” she apologised, which made Iggy start scolding and teaching her as they all walked to the camp. “Okay, now show me your man walk.” he instructed, hiding in her hood. “Shoulders back, chest high, feet apart, head up and strut.” he said, controlling her, and prancing through the camp, looking awkwardly as everyone was staring at her weirdly. “Beautiful, isn’t it?” Iggy asked in amusement, as the girl started at everyone in disgust. “No, they’re disgusting.” she scrunched up her nose, seeing someone use chopsticks to get the dirt from between his toes. “No, they are men. You have to act like them, so pay attention.” Iggy instructed again.

Of course, somehow, she got in front of a man showing off her red dragon tattoo on his plump belly and chest, saying it will protect him from harm. The silver haired man punched him in the gut, making the red haired one laugh healthily, patting the silver haired on the shoulder, telling the unfortunate one that he should get his money back.

“I...Don’t think I can do this...” she looked in horror and disgust at the display in front of her. “What are ya looking at?!” the one who punched asked, looking at her with a weird look. “Punch him! It’s how men say hello!” Iggy urged her, and she complied, punching the buff silver haired man, making him stumble into the smiling black man, who patted his shoulders. “Oh, Polnareff, you’ve made a friends!” he hummed in amusement. “Good. Slap him on the butt, they like that.” Iggy told her again, and she complied without question. “WHOA WHOA WHOA! I’m gonna hit you SO hard, it’ll make your ancestors dizzy!” Polnareff took her my the neck, glaring down at her. “Polnareff, relax and chant with me.” the man took him by the shoulders and started chanting some traditional tune, trying to calm down his friend, which seemed to work. “Ayyy, you ain’t worth my time...Chicken boy.” he insulted, making Iggy get out of her hood and yell out, incredibly offended, the same insult, almost in disbelief. “Say that to my face, ya limp noodle!” Iggy cried out, making Polnareff try to hit them, but instead, she dodged and he hit the red haired boy instead, blacking his eye. “Oh. Sorry, Kakyoin.” Polnareff chuckled sheepishly.

And so, somehow, the girl tried to hide while the 3 were fighting, but Kakyoin saw her and they ran after her, only to get fooled and have to abruptly stop by the food line...

And Avdol not to be able to stop in time and to send everyone down, like Domino, while the girl was looking at them with a guilty expression.

Meanwhile, in the general tent, Sadao was explaining strategies to his son, Jotaro, telling him that he will have to stay here and train the new recruits, waiting for Enyaba’s approval to get into battle, naming him Captain Kujo, who smirked in pride and accomplishment, thanking his father.

Leaving the tent, however, he noticed the mayhem that left him jaw-dropped, and his father left, letting him to whatever he wanted as he went for the surprise attack on the Huns.

Jotaro stepped in front of them, yelling out for them to shut the hell up, only for them all to stop and point at the poor girl, saying she started it all - Girl who was huddled on the ground in a fetal position, trying to keep herself from getting hurt.

She quickly got up from the ground, noticing the man’s aquamarine eyes glaring down at her, and dusting herself, she gulped, awaiting a good scholding.

“I don’t need anyone causing trouble in my camp.” Jotaro grunted, towering over her even while she was standing. “Sorry. Uhm...S-Sorry you had to see that...Uh..You know how it you...But you know how it is when you get those uh...Manly urges and you just gotta kill something. Fix things. Cook outdoors.” she did the best manly impression, which was extremely exaggerate, especially by the awkward punch on Jotaro’s arm, or the way she would punch her chest. “What’s your name?” the brunet man asked the girl, who started stuttering, and looking away, trying to come up with a name. “Your commanding officer just asked you a question!” Enyaba scolded her, hitting her legs with her staff. “Uh...I’ve got a name. Ha! And it’s a boy’s name, too! Uhmmm...” she trailed on, waiting for Iggy to say something. “How about Kakyoin?” he whispered softly. “His name is Kakyoin.” she answered, not realising that Jotaro was getting closer to her. “That’s not what I asked.” he grunted, glaring at her. “Ah...Ah Chu?” Iggy giggled. “Ah Chu.” the girl said, absent-minded. “...Ah Chu?” Jotaro raised his eyebrow in disbelief. “Gesundheit! Haha...I kill myself.” Iggy giggled even more at his own silliness. “Iggy...!” she tried to warn her companion. “Iggy?” Jotaro raised his voice in annoyance. “Fugo! Say Fugo, he was my best friend-” he trailed on, making the girl shush him by quickly grabbing his mouth. “Fugo. My name is Fugo.” she finally answered. “Let me see your conscription notice.” Jotaro snatched the scroll from her sash, opening it. “Abbacchio Leone? THE Abbacchio Leone?” he asked, raising his eyebrow in surprise. “I didn’t know Abbacchio Leone had a son.” Enyaba was just as shocked. “He, uh...Doesn’t talk about me much.” she tried to play it cool, by trying to spit on the ground...And failing. “I can see why. The boy’s an absolute lunatic.” Enyaba tried to say to Jotaro, only to have everyone snigger in amusement. “Thanks to your friend, Fugo, you will all spend tonight picking up every single grain of rice. And tomorrow, the real work begins. Don’t think either of you can slack off.” Captain Kujo ordered before leaving for his tent, everyone around growling at the poor girl. “You know...We have to work on your people skills.” Iggy said, making the girl sigh.

At the end of the day, she pitched her tent away from the others, just in case, and it’s needless to say that she fell asleep within seconds.

The next day, Iggy woke Y/N up by making #5 cry, snatching her blanket, forcing food down her throat, trying to get her to look more fierce and making her get up and run, while he tried to bring her the sword, but it was too late.

By the time she arrived, everyone was making fun of the annoying Enyaba, until Kakyoin noticed her and her tardiness, while Polnareff mocked her by asking if she was hungry.

Thankfully, she was saved from a ‘Knuckle Sandwich” by Jotaro who yelled for them to shut up and went to the wooden lances, taking off his shirt, as the girl could only whistle in her head how hot he was, not even caring what he was talking about discipline and whatever.

Of course, Polnareff had to mock him, which only resulted in everyone stepping back from the line, highlighting him, while Jotaro took a bow and arrow, making his Stand, Star Platinum, shooting it to the top of the wooden pole.

“Glad someone volunteered. Go retrieve that arrow...Without your Stand.” Jotaro smirked in amusement seeing Polnareff’s crestfallen face that quickly turned into a scowl as he cracked his knuckles, ready for action. “I’ll get that arrow, pretty boy.” he murmured, glaring at the arrow. “And I’ll do it with my shirt on.” he walked in front of the pole, readying himself to jump on it, only to get stopped by the captain once again. “Aren’t you forgetting something?” he asked, getting 2 golden weights and wrapping them around the man’s wrists. “These represent discipline and strength. You need both to reach the arrow.” he declared, while everyone was silently chuckling, seeing the silver haired man go through such torture.

Of course, no matter how much he struggled, neither he, nor Kakyoin, Avdol or the girl could do anything else but fail.

“Yare Yare Daze...We’ve got a lot to do.” he tipped his hat, going to the wooden sticks and throwing everyone one.

Of course, the petty Polnareff had to catch Y/N’s lance and use it to hit her legs, making her fall, acting as if nothing happened.

“Let's get down to business, to defeat the Huns” Jotaro sang, showing off by easily twirling the stick around, then getting the 2 vases by their handle, throwing them to the sky and easily breaking them, making everyone gasp in awe.

“Did they send me daughters, when I asked for sons?” he sang as everyone was supposed to replicate everything, but Kakyoin wanted to pull a prank on the girl, putting a beetle in her clothes, making her hit and knock down everyone as she attempted to get the disgusting creature away.

“You're the saddest bunch I ever met But you can bet before we're through Mister, I'll make a man out of you” he continued as he used the stick to jump into the air, doing a fancy flip and landing in front of the girl, who hit him in the gut without realising, which in turn made him take her by the shirt, glaring at her to stop her foolishness.

“Tranquil as a forest but on fire within” he tried to teach everyone how to properly shoot arrows in the bullseye while also getting an arrow, which made Iggy try to give the girl an arrow that already had an apple, but they easily got caught

“Once you find your center, you are sure to win You're a spineless, pale, pathetic lot And you haven't got a clue” this time, he had a wooden water basin on his head, using his stick to dodge or hit the rocks thrown at him by everyone else. When it was time for Y/N to replicate, the basin fell on her head, blinding her as she got hit by all rocks, and even managed to sent on his way, which he swiftly dodged, rolling his eyes at her.

“Somehow I'll make a man out of you” he showed them how to catch fish from the river, but she somehow managed to catch Polnareff’s toes instead, and had Iggy bring her a salmon.

“I'm never gonna catch my breath” poor Avdol sighed, trying to dodge the burning arrows sent his way.

“Say goodbye to those who knew me” Polnareff fell to the ground, an arrow lodging itself in his butt.

“Boy, was I a fool in school for cutting gym” Kakyoin whined, hitting his head on a stone, trying to break it, but only getting his face smashed instead. “This guy's got 'em scared to death” Iggy chuckled, as he tried to wash Y/N’s face as Jotaro blackened her eye in a hand to hand sparring. “Hope he doesn't see right through me” she thrilled, trying to get herself up, despite feeling like her horse jumped on her. “Now I really wish that I knew how to swim” Avdol cried out, as they all tried to jump on the poles in the water, only to stop, almost falling, and getting everyone to fall off instead.

“Be a man We must be swift as the coursing river Be a man With all the force of a great typhoon Be a man With all the strength of a raging fire Mysterious as the dark side of the moon” they chanted as they tried to learn how to use the firework explosives, only to somehow get Kakyoin to fool with Y/N’s dragon and make Enyaba’s tent catch fire.

At the end of the day, Jotaro was sitting on a rock far up above the camp, sighing to himself, not realising how much of a drag everything was going to be, and feeling as if he was getting nowhere with them.

“Time is racing toward us till the Huns arrive Heed my every order and you might survive” the next day they had to get water by carrying 2 buckets on a stick on their shoulders, but the poor girl really wasn’t used to such exhausting physical labour and fell on the ground, making Captain Kujo go to her, take the buckets, looking at her with disappointment, before jogging to the front of the line again.

“You're unsuited for the rage of war So pack up, go home, you're through How could I make a man out of you?” at the end of the 2nd day, he took her horse’s reigns, giving it to her, not wanting to look at her, that’s how much of a disappointment she was.

However, that only seemed to motivate her further, as she quickly knotted the weights around her wrists and started trying to climb up the pole, despite being the dead of night and needing a much deserved sleep.

“Be a man We must be swift as the coursing river Be a man With all the force of a great typhoon Be a man With all the strength of a raging fire Mysterious as the dark side of the moon” it took all night for her to be able to catch the drift of how it was done, and when the morning Sun rose and her fellow colleagues were starting to get out of their tents, she was almost there, reaching the top.

She still stumbled a bit, being drenched in sweat, but her ambition and motivation were strong enough for her to pull through, and she managed to get on the top of the pole, making everyone cheer as she weakly panted in victory.

As soon as Jotaro got out of his tent to see what the whole chaos was about, an arrow was thrown at him, as he then noticed the girl perched up on the pole, waving and smiling sheepishly at him.

It was then that he could finally feel a sense of accomplishment, seeing his worst student succeed after so much training. It was her resolve - Unbreakable - Just as his.

“Be a man We must be swift as the coursing river Be a man With all the force of a great typhoon Be a man With all the strength of a raging fire Mysterious as the dark side of the moon” by the end of it, everyone was able to properly shoot, the girl easily managed to knock him out in a hand to hand combat, everyone was able to get their balance on point and skip on the water poles, they could all carry the water buckets, catch fish from the river, be proper comrades and even be disciplined enough to use the stick.

Everything seemed fine to them, but they had no idea that Dio managed, with the help of Pet Shop, his hawk, to find out that the city in the pass was guarded by the imperial army, and they were going to kill those arrogant men who thought they could best him, Dio Brando!

Click here for

PART 2!

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asocier · 3 years

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🎰

( five random connections; accepting! )

Nate & Takumi

okay but real talk ... this dynamic could go really well, or it could go really bad. really well because nate also can enjoy a good anime or manga and probably spends who knows how long online playing a variety of games, so it’s possible that takumi and him bond over these things, particularly gaming which — now that i think about it, might also make it possible for them to just hate each other too since depending on the game, i imagine things can get really intense, and i already know nate is a shit talker on voice chat alkjsdlkas he’s so childish.

i say that this dynamic can go really bad because, well, nate, figuratively speaking, is the person who hurt umeko. nate did to alison what satou did to umeko, and i’m unsure whether takumi ever finds out about what happened to umeko ( it sounds like he purposefully avoids finding out ? ) but if he ever did find out about what happened to umeko, and on top of that, found out about what happened to alison ( because she’s friends with umeko ), and then finds out how nate was involved with alison — well, shit, all hell is gonna break loose. this would have to be like, a super intricate plot though so it’s probably not the most plausible dynamic between nate and takumi but damn could you imagine how much of a dumpster fire that’d be ????

anyway, i also think takumi might hate nate’s guts because nate is garbage and a bully and takumi hates bullies so they’d be butting heads all the damn time alksjdlsa takumi seems like he has a temper or at the very least he’s very headstrong and has an attitude and seeing as how nate also has an attitude, things would probably not be so friendly between them ahahaha

Emile & Simonne

music !!!! buddies !!!! simonne plays bass which isn’t exactly like the classic music emile trained in, but that doesn’t have to stop them from practicing together! he plays the violin and is known to play out in the open at parks since he really enjoys being outside, so playing in a quiet space really helps to ground him. it’s one of his favorite ways to wind down, and it’d be a lot of fun for him to have someone join him !!! it’s always refreshing for him to meet other people who are into music, so this would be a really cute way for them to bond and meet. i also saw that simonne liked fresh baked bread and yeah emile can do that for her too, he makes a nice sourdough

Cedric & Jun

oh this one might be funny ahahaha, i headcanon that cedric grew up with a persian cat who adored his mother but hated him, so ever since, he doesn’t really like cats. he doesn’t hate them, but he’s always suspicious of them it’s kind of funny because cedric’s attitude could be considered cat-like, so it’s rather ironic he doesn’t like cats alsjdlksa in anyway case, the idea of jun following cedric around and remind cedric of the cat in his childhood is kind of funny. but also, the fact that jun is a spirit only makes things more interesting because cedric doesn’t usually react well to supernatural because he’s a stick in the mud and isn’t welcoming to weird shit that happens in the roleplay world :/// but jun making a ghostly appearances at the hotel/shrine seems like a way they could meet actually 🤔

Aito & Marissa

okay but i think aito would have so much fun with marissa. there’s something about the fact she could just accidentally set a building on fire that resonates with him because he too, could accidentally set a whole building on fire. not because he has magic powers, but because he’s a dumbass who can be accident prone at the worst of times oh my god. but still, i think they’d get along really well, especially because aito would think marissa’s powers would be super duper cool and he’d want to ask her a lot of questions and get to know her. maybe she could teach him how to make jewelry — aito loves using his hands to make things, after all!

Alison & Umeko

🥺 🥺 🥺 these two ,,, we know the potential between these two already. the fact they both have endured something so heartbreaking and fucked up really brings them together, and i’m actually glad they have the potential to grow and heal together. i’m really excited to see how this dynamic blossoms with more interactions. i know alison might end up taking a motherly role too over umeko just because she naturally acts very maternal around those she grows to care about, so there’s a lot of potential for very sweet interactions! since we’ve plotted a bit about these two already, i threw in a bonus connection so that you’d have five new connections :)

Grace & Hazel

first of all, hazel is cute as fuck what the fuck — i know this is about grace and hazel, but i kind of want hazel and leah to meet too LMAO i feel like those two would click really well on so many levels. anyway, as for grace, i also think hazel and her would get along! grace has a hard time making friends usually because she seems to come off as a little cold and uninterested in making friends ( which isn’t true; she just isn’t all that interested in making friends at her school ), so hazel being super friendly and social would make it possible to draw grace in. but also — this whole mystery around hazel would be something interesting for us to play around with. grace is very smart and could easily pick up on clues if you sprinkled any in a thread, so it’d be a fun, extended thing to try and have grace figure out what happened to hazel. from what i understand, hazel doesn’t really know either, so this could be like their mission to figure out what the heck is going on.

#answered;#cw: long post #inthcgartcn #thank you for this !!!

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munchykitkat · 4 years

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My engineer the series ep 3

SPOILERS AHEAD!!

Bon seemed pretty open about their relationship last ep. Time to REEL it in I guess

We're gonna try and ignore the dubbing

He just got hung up on! Dang

The flower shop is so pretty💕 and romantic😆

Bon, your Bi is showing

Who can say no to Duen!? Bon you're getting distracted!

Did he just call the cat "gas tank"?

Back of the building, totally not suspicious

Okay, I dont think roses smell that strong

Does he find bubbles romantic? He reads too many stories

Are they playing house? Ahhhhh

So does this mean Bon knows English?Cause Ben is adorable

Shes doing this to make her bf jealous isnt she?😑

The sad puppy packs a punch!

Do business majors have to wear suits? Cause damn hes always lookin fine

Hes not gonna tell him his name? I'm upset

You're not even friends and your taking a pic, these boys are whipped for Duen

Has Fong also seen the flower pic? Cause he probably wants to make Bon jealous or remove that news with his

Did he just fall for the random boy in the library? *sigh* Of course him and Bon are friends

Is he feeding the dog rice?

Sister is a 3rd wheel, this is weird

Duen put that shirt down

Their buying couple shirts. Duen your such a flirt without even trying

Ha the mischievous brothers are cute

Just your average shrine for your bestie/husband/crush. Totally normal

It's a contest on who can take the more romantic photo of Duen

Ep 3 and their already a family😭

Did his brother just back up his lie? Ben is a G!

#bonduen Bon is winning, Fong needs to catch up

Buttoned half way *stare*😯

Were those all sexual innuendos?

#heavy use of social media and fighting reminds me of 2gether #the out of shower stare reminds me of 2moons #im really enjoying this show #i like someone from at least each couple #and bon is being straightforward #wonder how they mess it up for drama #my engineer the series #kat react

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australian-desi · 4 years

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Qurban Hua ~ Episode 1: Of Rakhis, Token White People and Mithai

So like I was playing the sims 4 and my sim’s only daughter (she has 5 kids - 4 sons, 1 daughter) just died from an accidental drowning on her eldest brother’s birthday party (but I quit without saving so she’s back to life). So that killed the whole gameplay mood. And I’ve decided to absolutely ignore my master’s degree (yes I’m going to be at uni for 5,000,000 years - fight me) I am going to liveblog both shows (Qurbaan Hua and Pavitra Bhagya coz that’s what was asked of me). My tolerance for shitty television has reduced since KZK so let’s see how long these liveblogs last....

So without further ado, here’s the first Liveblog of 2020: Qurban Hua (honestly just watching this show for Karan Jotwani’s face and physique)

Ooh we’re in the hills, with Krishna’s bhansuri and the feelzzz of sanskar

So we’re in Uttarkhand (sorry if I botched the spelling) with moustache uncle and representative white dude who has come to ‘find himself’

Do not give a damn about the religious talk (also this white dude doesn’t even know who Ram ji is, he’s just here to drink some bhang, go to a wedding, witness some poverty and go back home)

Moustache uncle is blind and we see this when he walks with a tree branch (no exaggeration) and his eyes closed. Nothing speaks ‘this person is blind’ than having them close their eyes for every shot

SO MANS ISN’T EVEN BLIND - HE’S JUST MOTHERFKN COSPLAYING TO BE A BLIND PERSON

honestly, what is this bakchodi where is my boi

Yaar ab shivji ke gaane bhi sunne padenge, kya loge main characters ko introduce karne ke liye

Ohhh he’s the head priest’s son and has become an ‘awara shehar waala’ rather than take over for his dad, who is too weak to carry the aag thaali (I do not know what it is called)

“daya aati hai mujhe Vyasji ki hassi par, pata nahi Vyasji ka launda, unki kaleje mein aag laga kar, shehar mein kaunsi aag bhuja raha hai?” So I thought what a weird dialogue, and then in the next fkn scene:

THERE’S SOMEONE LITERALLY ON FIRE AND HE’S COME TO SAVE HER

Also behen, toda dimaag laga, the fire isn’t that bad yet, her fkn arms are so loosely tied, and she has the lung capacity to scream ‘aag aag’ rather than find a better way to save herself, and save her energy and breath so she doesn’t pass out.

All these people and not one person calls the fire brigade

They call Neel instead, coz he’s invincible

Now comes a dramatic sequence of events

My man runs, unaffected by the spitting fire, there is another boi who is so happy to see him and willingly crouches just so mans can quite literally yeet himself on to the roof and break the window to save her. Not before giving some dramatic looks

A. Only her apartment was on fire, not the whole building, he could’ve easily taken the stairs. B. why was the fkn fire not spreading and C. It took him 3 seconds to get her out of that knot, so like as if she couldnt wriggle her hands out of it (maybe if she wasn’t wearing 300 chudiyas, she might’ve been able to)

I would also thank the gods they gave him winter clothing with a high neck to wear (coz nothing is hotter to me than men in high neck sweaters - it highlights their jawlines, shows off their muscles and shows how long their neck is) #FashionTipsWithAustralianDesi

OMG IT WAS A SCENE FOR A MOVIE OR SOMETHING OMG. OKAY YOU WIN FKN HELL. HINDI SERIALS: 1, AUSTRALIAN DESI: 29043284

Look how adorable he looks

“Production? sorry mera naam actually woh Neelkanth Bhatt Dhyani hai aur main baju-waale hotel mein chef hoon, mujhe laga tha aag lagi thi toh bachane aa gaya”

Hahahah, noice mans is a chef. Also his name is longer than my life. And so far, in the 3 minutes I’ve watched of him, I really like him. Let’s hope he stays that way

Let’s be real, I watched the promos, I’m going to savour whatever niceness we get of him

Okay so dude that looked at him, is the Pushkar/Rudra/Insert-comedic relief-younger-sibling, and basically said that our mans here is on a mission to save a girl every day. Wow what a hobby

“Aag, Aag, continue, aag, aag, aag, continue” hahahah he’s slowly backing out of there

Mans wants to do one good deed everyday - that’s a rare quality for a tellywood man (he does it because his sister does one good deed a day for his wellbeing - I don’t understand the logic but whatever)

OH MY FKN GOD WE HAVE AN ANJALI

She’s made a fkn shrine for him (absolutely love the pictures though)

And he calls his sister ‘Bhags’ - short for Bhagwan because she is god for him

I think these two could give Arnav-Anjali a run for their money

...And she’s preggers - and so he doesn’t want her pregnancy to have any complications so he’s going to do one good deed a day

let’s see how shit blows in their face - is it a kamina husband, a manipulative mother or a cunning father

Also gotta love how her husband is probably chilling while Neel is all like ‘MY DIDI’

No one:

Not even Neil’s fkn mother

Saraswati: NEIL IS COMING AFTER 3 MONTHS EVERYTHING MUST BE PERFECT

Welcome Saraswati Anjali

This man is completely evil. Change my mind.

So they went with the Kamina husband/brother-in-law

Who has a problem that Neel is a chef. But let’s be real he wants Neel to be a chef so he could become the head priest

I AM ONTO YOU. THIS ISN’T MY FIRST RODEO

And she’s just here to talk about the successes and accomplishments of her brother, because like Anjali, she has nothing better to do in life

Whatever her husband says goes right over my head, also it’s Saras-Wati not Sarasti

So proud of his Personal Protective Equipment. Thank god a career being shown properly

Also this looks really small and homely for an industrial kitchen

So the ‘villain’ of his life is here. Little does he know, that whether he keeps his job or not does not matter, all that matters is that his rakhi is never removed.

“Main apni behen ko bhool nahi sakta, isliye yeh rakhi agle raksha bhandhan tak, nahi utregi” ummm how bad is your memory that you forget your sister unless there’s a rakhi on your wrist????

“Mere kitchen mein yeh sab bilkul allowed nahi hai, no rings, no watches, aur yeh tacky rakhi toh bilkul nahi, afterall hygeine har cook ki responsibility hoti hai”

“Yeh rakhi toh na utregi sir,” “acha toh phir yeh jo haath mein hai, woh meri kitchen mein khaana nahi bana sakte hai”

Wow he didn’t have to call the rakhi tacky. Also like, couldn’t you have a dimaag like Arnav, and keep them in a little box, and then show your sister like “look I kept all your rakhis”

Now watch him cook with one hand, just to prove a point

TOLD YA

Also the dude seemed pretty happy with him, I would’ve been like “banda chuthiya ho gaya hai”

Also his friend is really annoying me with his overreactions to simple things

He’s saying that he’s going to make the Singoria for the ‘bhakts’ and not for his dad, coz he doesn’t think he needs to ask for an apology to follow his heart

I enjoy this content, I like this boi. At least he stands by his actions

“Shaakal ko khush karne ke liye jijaji kaafi hai” Wow the Shyam vibes from his jijaji are through the roof

He said that line like he’s plotting murder or something with the fire reflected on his face

Also can they stop with the Kedarnath soundtrack

Lol this procession is still going on, it’s been going on for like 3 days. Like, in the time Neel did his wall climbing stunt, saved a woman who was ‘on fire’, stopped a film shoot, told his whole life story and his love obsession for his sister, went through an inspection and made food for a whole restaurant while sassing his boss, and the procession is still going on

Omg no, now there’s a fkn murgi - WHICH IS ALIVE HOW IS THIS A PROBLEM, JUST MOVE IT AND CONTINUE WALKING

I mean making him slip would’ve been more fun than a fkn murgi stopping him - also its alive so how is this an apshagun? Imma skip this I cannot

NOW FKN FAKE ANJALI IS LIKE “the chicken is a mother, do not touch her eggs, she will not look after her children and then they will never be able to feel the mother-child love”

Gurl, its a chicken. Chill. If it had this much feeling, it would not let go of it’s child

Okay, here’s a wild thought - why not just walk around it

The chicken isn’t even taking over the whole step, if everyone walks in a single file, you should be able to pass the chicken

but if we use our brains how will this be a hindi serial

Man fkn hell this the problem in India, the fkn mindset that “dharm se badke aur kuch nahi hai” is2g if people move away from that thought, life would be easier

Also Sarasti is just here caressing her belly, being all like motherhood is the biggest dharm #OhSnap #MicDrop

So Vyasji has said his first lines of the show and basically whatever I’m understanding is that dharm should be a part of your life, not your whole life and disregarding emotions for your dharm is in fact the opposite of dharm. Wow the man has some sense. Also the actor looks done and does not seem into it - I do not blame him one bit

And fake Anjali is all like “yay papa is on my side - fuck you husband”

NEEL YOU FKN IDIOT, IT’S JUST A BAG COULDN’T YOU TAKE IT WITH YOU, NOW THE SANGORIA ARE GONNA GET MISPLACED I ALREADY KNOW.

ab yeh kaun hai, jo Dhoom ke set se yahan aa gaya

and he took the wrong bag - well done Neel, that’s all on you

OMG AT LEAST HE REALISED THANK GOD

Great, now he’s gonna do some Dhoom-esque stunts

How dumb is the other dude, like there’s someone that’s literally chasing you and you aren’t going to stop to ask them why

Omg he’s actually grabbing it. Is2g if the prasad is completely fine still, Imma flip

Yeh chal kya raha hai? Is the other dude literally fighting for the supposed kachoris?

Oh wow its a wamen. And here we begin the #Romance

HE LITERALLY JUST SAW HER HAIR AND IS SMITTEN - ARE YOU THAT DESPERATE MY FRIEND

Lovely, he got distracted and she’s gone off with his Sangoria

Ofcourse he’s like a girl tricked me, now it’s an ego thing. At least he’s admitting it to be an ego ting

But also like dude do you not believe women can be cunning? I mean we’re literally known for possessing that single trait

Wow look how happy she is for some Sangoria - and look how dumb she is for not questioning the dude that was chasing her as to why was he after the bag

OF-FUCKING-COURSE she had to be a social worker who helps the gareeb bachche

I gotta love how she’s like, why is there mithai here instead of kachoris - proceeds to eat them because the kids were like we like mithai

Behen, kya aap kisi ka bhi khaana leke kha leti ho?

Like why wouldn’t you put two and two together

Why would someone be ready to fight you for this mithai. Do you have any logical thinking skills?

Me when I check my results. The absolute shock horror on his face is sending me

"Tum pahadi ho?” “Haan aur sharminda bhi” “Itni der se tumhara peecha kar raha tha, tab nahi samajh aaya?” “Nahin mujhe laga koi chor badmaash hai,”

Love the logic, love that she was so ashamed that she didn’t bother to give his mithai back - what is this character

She’s literally telling him how to handle his father that she’s never met.

Dude if it was that easy, would he be this stressed?

That was quick - she had video evidence that some gunde were making these kids become beggars, and got them arrested while also making Neel feel like he did his one good deed today and she conveniently has her own childcare

Wow we have an evil maami too, and some random man wanting to kill our gurl

She’s basically saying how Neel will definitely forget to bring the bhog

Little does she know he won’t forget, he’ll just have some misfortune which will cause him to not bring it

Now poor Sarasti is bringing her dad a shawl and convincing him to go change, but him being the brown dad he is, is all like “If only your idiotic brother was here, I would be sitting on the terrace watching this pooja, looking at him proudly, but he is a nalaayak and alas I am here,”

He’s literally so salty that he wants to cook, it’s so funny, I can’t

First of all, why is everyone just taunting Sarasti about her brother’s actions, like I get how close they are but they aren’t the same person??

Now she’s saying that he’s on his way - ah little does she know, he’s distracted by a wamen

Omg he’s literally telling the story of the Prayag Pushp (a flower I think) “that only blooms when 2 true lovers meet for the first time, and no one has seen it bloom, and no one will see it bloom in this family, and with the same confidence, I am telling you your bhola will not come” wow the amount of trust in your son. I am loving it

Also like who wants to bet the flower is going to bloom when he marries this girl or when they have a dramatic meet up

“Hey bhole baba, agli baar mujhe uss theeki shezwan sauce se mat milwana” Lol is he dumb or is he dumb

OMG GOD IN THIS SERIAL IS EXTREMELY FAST. HE PRAYED 2 SECONDS BEFORE AND IN THE NEXT SECOND SHE’S IN FRONT OF HIM

She’s deaf as well, he’s literally calling her and she’s like nope, I am looking outside can only focus on one thing at a time

“Bache hai kya, joh window seat ke liye itne excited ho rahe hai” “Sifaljiya kahi ka” Okay I’m loving the banter but also have no idea what she just called him

“Kya kaha tumne? Kaunsi bhasha mein gaali di?” “Mars pe boli jaati hai yeh zubaan, gaye ho kabhi?”

People I ship it!

“Lokhar ka sir hai kya tumhaara?” This idiot

Oh good its these ainvayi ke gunde, mans is never going to reach home in this decade

And they’re on the bus to beat her? Very normal

And ofcourse this our mans’ good deed of the day

“Kya ho gaya bhai ji? Koi takleef?” Love this man so much. The sass and the politeness how does he do it?

“Teri saki lagti hai kya?” “Meri patni hai yeh” wow man, like honestly dost bol deta, behen bol deta. Nahi she is now my wife for rescuing purposes (what an Omkara thing to do)

OMG YES THEIR BACKGROUND SCORE IS KURBAAN HUA FROM KURBAAN - I LOVE THAT SONG

So the episode ends here and wow this took so long to do coz they decided to make the episode 40 minutes long. So far I like it. I just wish the girl becomes smarter (also what even is her name?)

#Qurbaan Hua #Karan Jotwani

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breadtastesgood · 7 years

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After 200+ hours of playing Breath of the Wild, I have finished my adventure. Here are my thoughts. (Spoilers)

So, almost two months after its release, I have officially completed The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild and oh boy, do I have a lot to say about this game. I’m a little hesitant to call this a review, I guess, because it’s not organized too well or intent on giving a score or anything silly like that. But considering my love for this series and acknowledging this game as a huge departure from what many have grown used to, its got my head spinning with a whole bunch of thoughts that I just feel like dumping somewhere. This is mostly an art blog, it feels a little weird sticking this here but I honestly don’t know where else I’d put it. I’ll try to organize my brain and keep things as short as possible, but for the most part I’m just gonna jump in.

Ok, let’s get the big stuff out of the way: I like this game. Even if you haven’t played it, if you’ve so much as searched Zelda within the past month, this near universal opinion shouldn’t be unfamiliar to you. You could go anywhere on the internet around its release and see overwhelming praise, 10/10, a “masterpiece” or even “the best game of all time”. I’m kind of opposed to scores and big statements like that because they have the power to label a game as perfect or flawless, even if they don’t mean to; but the acclaim isn’t necessarily undeserved, this is a great Zelda game, and a really good video game in general. One of the biggest reasons for this praise is attributed to how big of a departure it is, it really sets itself apart from past Zelda games; However, that’s also what inclines me to dissect this title far more than any of its predecessors.

Since this isn’t really a proper review, and I’m assuming most of the people reading this have already played the game in some capacity, I’m just gonna quickly summarize what I like about it. If you want more in depth conversations about the positives you should go ahead and find something on IGN...or Youtube or something I dunno, honestly anywhere, this game has gotten nothing but glowing reviews, it’s not too hard to find something better constructed than my stuff.

-It’s gorgeous, the cel shading and overall homage to japanese animated films *cough* Ghibli *cough* is wholeheartedly welcome and beautiful to look at. This is the first Zelda game where I didn’t want to cut the grass because it was just so damn pretty. I’d constantly find myself placing link in compositionally pleasing settings to just watch the world teem with life and wonder.

-The runes and their implementation with shrines and the divine beasts make for some clever puzzles, even if they are a lot of the times maybe a little too easy and kind of short. When the puzzles are at their best, you can’t help but smile.

-I like the basic concept of the story, it’s nice to see Zelda explored as a character. (Though I will say that Link not being as expressive in this title was a bit of a let down, he’s expressive in the world and not in the cutscenes which is odd. I know there’s a canon reason for this but still, I miss the personality from previous titles. I hope they weren’t trying to reel back on his facial expressions for fear of breaking “immersion” or something silly like that, no one I know sees link as themselves, I’d like to think most people really do see him as his own character.)

-The outfits are great.

-Different weapon types are super cool.

-I actually ended up not hating the voice acting, in fact, I feel like there should have been more of it.

-I love how the world is constantly being traversed by characters that always have something funny or useful to say. I remember one guy telling me that his name was Spinch and his horse was named Spinch too; so completely random. You engage with him further and he’s just like: “We’re both Spinch and I don’t even care.” It killed me, and it’s stuff like that that was part of what made exploring fun.

-It acknowledges the series’ timeline and lore in the most direct way yet. I particularly love how they sprinkled Fi’s theme into scenes with the Master Sword, it gave me chills. Makes you feel like all your past adventures really mattered.

-Music is beautiful, the main theme and Hateno village are some of my new favorites and I can’t wait to hear them Live. Gotta love that Dragon Roost callback too.

-Character design is great. Even the most insignificant npcs have great character designs. This particular reincarnation of Zelda is definitely my favorite appearance wise, the developers did a great job with making her look adorable, dignified, and adventurous all at the same time.

-I like the return of character schedules from Majora’s Mask, makes the world feel alive.

-The champions are all great personalities, but it sucks we couldn’t spend more time with them. (more on this later)

- Prince Sidon is hilarious and really charming.

-Paya is disgustingly cute.

- Bolson is the best god damn npc in the game, that gay ass motherfucker.

-Climbing is fun, unless it rains.

- Fighting is fun (until you’re about 50 hours in and it starts being a little less creative. Once you have a ton of money and really good weapons, the incentive to fight and raid camps isn’t really there anymore unless it's fighting for just fighting’s sake. This made be a bit sad.)

-Based on its basic game mechanics alone, Breath of the Wild is, in general, pretty fun. There’s a lot more I could say, but I feel like it’s fairly obvious what the really good things are in this game.

The list goes on and on and on...but these are my main take aways without getting TOO entrenched into a stream of consciousness. I don’t really feel the need to go too in depth about the games positives, because they’re widely discussed and loudly appreciated across the board; I wanted to be brief with my addition to the echo chamber. With that said, I actually have a few fairly substantial grievances with this game that prevent it from being a masterpiece for me.

Saying this feels like betraying a best friend, especially after waiting 6 years for this game. But I think it’s necessary to put these thoughts out there when a game gets universally good reviews, I want Zelda to grow and improve beyond this point. It’s obvious Nintendo won’t see this shit, but it’s good to get a conversation going, especially when every single Zelda game gets widespread acclaim upon release and only a year or so later do people tend to tone it down a little. This is fairly ironic in my case, as Skyward Sword is one of my favorite games and it seems to have the starkest contrast between its initial opinions and those that popped up a year after. I just have some things that really irk me about this game, which sucks because I actually love it a great deal, I’m super torn.

My biggest takeaway from 200 hours of traveling across Breath of the Wild’s world was that its greatest strength is also its greatest weakness. Nintendo set out to spread its wings and build this immense world that inspires wonder and awe, and it certainly does that, but I feel like that’s mostly all the game is at times. It’s funny, because as soon as I start to say stuff like this, I can’t help but think, “Wow that’s actually really great, I’m glad the game went this direction.” But I also feel heavily conflicted about that direction’s consequences. This may sound strange and it’s not really bad, but I felt like the world is almost so open ended with itself that its identity is spread a little thin.

I’m kind of going against my own logic here, because I’ve always wanted a Zelda game with an immense amount of side quests to beef up the experience outside of the main quest. I’ve prayed for a huge world to explore, to really feel the enormity of this land that needed to be saved. And there really is a lot to do, there's a ton, but only a handful of the sidequests outside the shrines have much heft. The game doesn’t really have a set pace as a result, which can be seen as a good thing I guess. I can agree with the sentiment that this choice was necessary as a stepping stone going forward, I think Zelda definitely benefits from the nonlinearity approach, and Nintendo going as far as they did with it this time will help them see its advantages and disadvantages. If Skyward Sword was an extreme in linearity, Breath of the Wild is an extreme in the exact opposite direction. In my opinion, they both still work well in their own regards, albeit in incredibly different ways.

When I say that the game doesn’t have as much of an identity compared to past Zelda’s, I mean that in a way where the identity of the game is largely shaped by the player’s own experience and not by the narrative itself. This can be seen as a huge triumph in player agency, where the power (or in this case courage) really is in the hands of the player. But you can’t curate nonlinearity, at least not entirely. As a result, we tend to lose some of the pacing that made past titles feel “epic”. I guess what I’m getting at is that my main gripe has to do with how the game’s narrative structure comes together.

The developers were definitely aware of a narrative problem, as they needed a way to glue the game together story wise, and the memories were a pretty clever way to do it; honestly, I don’t know how else they could have made it work with their open air concept. But as much as I find the story compelling and interesting, there’s simply not enough of it, which is a real shame because you feel a need to get closer to these characters, especially the champions. Much of this game feels like you are showing up late to the party. There's a weird dichotomy between the past and present as a result. You end up feeling like you need to care more about the champions in the past, but characters in the present end up getting more development, just less emotional weight attributed to them. It’s a weird flip flop, because I loved Prince Sidon as a character, and thought he was the most developed out of all the main quest based npcs, but Mipha kind of steals the climax of the Zora’s Domain story. What sucks about this is that Mipha has, what appears to be on the surface, a tragic and emotionally affecting story, but we don’t get enough time to dwell on it really, so we’re in this weird flux. This past and present problem actually has made me feel the most disconnected from Link than I ever have, and if I was gonna be disconnected I would have at least liked to have seen him show a little more personality, but he only does this in small instances in the present.

This formula disappointed me more and more with each main questline, especially when all the others tended to be less concerned with getting you familiar with or attached to their respective characters. The worst offender is the Rito area, which I swear can be completed in an hour. It really cheats Rivali out of getting any meaningful development, which is a huge missed opportunity because he was funny, quippy, and a nice rival character for Link. Imagine meeting Groose at the beginning of Skyward Sword, except at the end of the tutorial someone pushes him off Skyloft and he straight up dies, the end. Think about how big of a missed opportunity that would be. That’s kind of how this felt.

Now I know that you can argue that Zelda has never been about the story, but honestly I still thinks that’s up to the player, no matter how simple these stories tend to be. It’s mostly less about story and more about how much time is spent on the fun characters Zelda is known for, and the game loses a bit of its heart as a result. A lot of people, like me, are super into the lore and the characters this franchise has to offer; things don’t need to be convoluted like Kingdom Hearts or emotionally complex like the Last of Us. Many players enjoy the adventure of befriending characters, helping them with their problems, and feeling fulfilled by that alone.

Quests that had this fulfillment element were my favorite, such as cooking a rock for a malnourished Goron to help him regain his strength, or building a town from the ground up with a bizarre cast of carpenters that you can’t help but adore. These are rewarding for me, not because of the loot, but because it’s simply just entertaining and makes me feel like I really accomplished something. Once I reached about 90 hours, I didn’t need rupees, or another royal claymore, what I was really looking for was a reflection of how I impacted the world around me. I wanted to suspend my disbelief and truly get absorbed in this world not only for its beauty and sheer size, I wanted to feel like I mattered to its inhabitants too. And the game does this enough to be fairly satisfactory. Though, there are plenty of quests that get halfway there but end up feeling more like fetch quests, which aren’t so bad if they have a nice reward, but they’re still kind of bland and sometimes a chore.

To kind of wrap all this up, I want to say that Breath of the Wild’s biggest and most glaring problem is that its main quest is severely lacking. There is a lot to do in this game, just not a lot of “big” and memorable things. There’s an almost endless list of small challenges, but few end up feeling all that compelling. I know a lot of people have been talking about the dungeons being a huge weakness, and I think that's definitely part of the problem. There really needed to be more substantial dungeons in this game, I’d say there’s about a dungeon and a half in this title. Maybe we can have a discussion about how the shrines make up for that, but I feel like at least for me, most of them were very simple and too many of them were rewards for easy feats or tests of strength. All things considered, the breadth of this game is impressive, but imagine if you fit a main quest from The Wind Waker or Twilight Princess on top of this huge world; imagine big dungeons with a well paced main quest, along with all these sidequests and a beautiful landscape, that would be amazing! I know this comparison has been made a bit too much, but Skyrim found a way to have a good linear main quest packed into a non linear world, you could in fact avoid it altogether and just do “side quests”. Many of its sidequests had significant weight to them that made them feel like they could've been part of the main mission, you weren’t left with a sense of emptiness if you avoided the main route. I think Zelda could learn a lot from this kind of approach to open world games.

Now I will say that there’s a lot to Breath of the Wild’s main quest that I really love (i’ll be doing a lot of fan art because of it!), I just think it needs to be expounded upon a bit more. There’s all the makings of a true masterpiece here, but the center of it feels a bit fragmented. Bigger dungeons, bigger story, more enemy types, more villages etc. I think the game needs more of these large central elements. There's so much I could say about this game, but that would take forever, these are more or less my biggest criticisms. I once again want to reiterate that I like Breath of the Wild and I really love Zelda as a series, I can’t stress that enough. Feel free to disagree with me and maybe start up a dialogue through messages or something, I’m always willing to discuss! I’m not super focused on checking this for structural issues, it’s not really an organized essay, sorry if it was a bit rambly.

Thanks for reading!!!

Sidenote: I’m aware of the story DLC and new dungeon in the future. I’m extremely excited about this and the DLC will hopefully address my grievances with the game.

#Zelda #Breath of the wild #The legend of zelda #The Legend of Zelda Breath of the Wild #loz #I'm critiquing a zelda game...#hope I don't get killed

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